#why do i always end up ranting in the tags about anything. cant i shut up for once | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bbhyeoliskooks · 3 years

Note

Can you do a reaction of this?

I just imagine that, what if yn has a crush on 1st member but ends dating 2nd member:0 (i hope it makes sense)

｡:゜𝐁𝐞 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐞 ｡:゜

｡*:★(´・ω・人・ω・`)｡:゜★｡

Genre: 3 cups of fluff ! and maybe two sprinkles of angst ?

Warnings: small mention of self-hate, kinda changed it up a little for Soobders but i hope you’ll still like it !!

(... this is like when somebody asks me if i have a bias from txt :ll I SERIOUSLY CANT ANSWER OML??? but this was a fun request to do !! i tried making it the fluffiest i can !! and btw, it did make sense so don’t worry !)

｡*:★(´・ω・人・ω・`)｡:゜★｡

*: Yeonjun *:

{\} Big fat stupid sigh and big fat stupid cri

{\} Did Soobin have to be that ignorant of your feelings ?

{\} why wasn’t the amount of effort you put in sending him signals not good enough?? why couldn’t he see how much you loved him after years of being together and knowing the other’s feelings? why did you have to love him when he was your friend?

{\} You were feeling pretty down because of this, and Yeonjun easily noticed since he was your best friend :((

{\} He’d always lend you a shoulder to cry on whenever you needed to let out frustrations because of that boy, or even let his favorite shirt be a tissue for you and you only

{\} Because of this, Yeonjun figured out that sooner or later he had a few forbidden feelings towards you which was not the best case since yk... you had flutters for someone else

{\} He was still determined to capture your heart though !!

{\} And how did he do that ? By sweet and flirty gestures of course !!

{\} They could be from treating you randomly, picking you up from your job, holding your hand whenever the two of you go out, to giving up his comfy sweater so that you would feel warmer, ect.

{\} Little by little, you got out of the shell of loving another boy and became even more closer to jjuniebug :)) that tiny cutie did things to your heart on purpose or not. he was just being the sweetest to youu !!

{\} It all started with a few kisses and hugs to make you eventually fall for him like he planned

{\} All Yeonjun’s thankful for is that you didn’t have the guts to tell Soobin or else you wouldn’t be his significant other :DD

｡*:★(´・ω・人・ω・`)｡:゜★｡

*: Soobin *:

{\} Sad as it is to hear, but unfortunately you and Yeonjun didn’t have enough time together due to schedules :((

{\} This caused a few arguments to erupt because the stress was building up in both of you

{\} Unnecessary words were thrown back and forth which caused a huge break up in the dorms

{\} It’s sort of useless to say, but it led to a pretty terrible break-up

{\} You promised never to see him ever again while he agreed never talking to you again :((

{\} which was pretty depressing; you felt like you couldn’t breathe without him by your side anymore because you really did love him

{\} Soobin absolutely hated seeing you like this !! The way Yeonjun was being so immature even as his older “brother” broke his heart. Somehow, all of his empathy was drawn to you and he just comforted you instead??

{\} He’s confused as well, why wouldn’t he help his bro ??

{\} This boy comforted you in the best way he could !! He truly did everything he could to make you love yourself more than depending on Yeonjun

{\} fast forward to three years where both of you moved on. Good thing is that Yeonjun found someone else while you’re stuck being single ://

{\} This was the perfect time to ask you to be his :)) and what else could you say?? Soobin has been by your side this whole time, always supporting you through the hard times and being the shoulder to cry on whenever you needed it

{\} ...how about we say yes to our happy ending now ?

｡*:★(´・ω・人・ω・`)｡:゜★｡

*: Beomgyu *:

{\} Crushes, crushes, crushes!

{\} Why do feelings have to be so... complicated??

{\} You swore you could tear your hair out because of your heart

{\} One moment it would be stuck on Taehyun, then the next it would fluctuate to Beomgyu !!

{\} To be honest, you didn’t know how you got the memo that you liked both of them??

{\} Your strange heart just said boom and deal with it ://

{\} In an attempt to find out who you truly wanted, you decided to do a little “friend’s outing” with only you and Taehyun

{\} He’s not a jerk but... he left your date to pick up someone else he had a crush on for a while now

{\} Cue in the perfect opportunity for suave Beomgyu to come in

{\} You were in shambles at how Taehyun easily left you sitting in the cafe that you didn’t even realize that you were ranting so much and so loud to Beomgyu. He was getting a lot of strange looks from the other customers so something snapped in him and- boom !! he just smashed his lips against yours to shut you up

{\} The clock ticks and seconds go by... the way he sweetly smiled into that kiss spelled it all for you

{\} No need to worry about feeling this way for Taehyun anymore !! Beomgyu is the one, and you know it deep into your heart and soul.

｡*:★(´・ω・人・ω・`)｡:゜★｡

*: Taehyun *:

{\} Was it that stupid to say that you were waiting up so late for Beomgyu :(( was it that stupid to say that he was clearly the only one that took up all the space in your heart :(( was it stupid to say that you only loved him when sometimes Taehyun swayed your heart too :((

{\} just- the way he gazed at you intensely whenever you were talking was becoming a bit too tiring or the way he would volunteer to help do the dishes with you sort of... snatched you away?

{\} you had no clue who you liked now because of Taehyun :// he did things that fluttered your heart that you couldn’t help

{\} deciding to focus on Beomgyu a little bit, you told him all about what you were feeling

{\} You were visiting the dorms, and he was the only one there due to the boys grocery shopping !! It was the perfect moment to tell him, actually

{\} it ended up with Beomgyu saying he was confused because it sounded like you outgrew him a little bit with the additional information of saying Taehyun felt the same way you did

{\} However when he rejected you too (like you guessed), you didn’t feel anything else but pressure lift off your chest ++ no remorse/regret

{\} This only meant one thing~~ !

{\} You excitedly lingered at the dorms for Taehyun to come home so that you could tell him the words you were searching for

{\} Beomgyu even waited for the boys too to take them over to the living room since it would give you a bit of privacy and time to conversate

{\} When Taehyun finally came home, you spilled everything. Rejection was in the back of your head while you confessed what your heart meant... and he gently took that same heart into his hands as well

{\} The night ended up in warm cuddles and sleeping on the couch to which Soobin snapped a few photos at because he’s apparently proud of raising such a tiny boy

｡*:★(´・ω・人・ω・`)｡:゜★｡

*: Kai *:

{\} Long story short, you did everything to make Yeonjun look your way

{\} Whether it be styling your hair differently, to putting on some bold clothes, or even changing up what you liked because of him-

{\} All he thought of you as was a little sibling

{\} Feeling defeated, you asked Kai why you weren’t enough

{\} Hearing your cries ring throughout his ears shattered his heart

{\} were you really feeling this because of his hyung?? did you think yourself as lowly because you couldn’t make the man you love, love you back??

{\} omg, he hated him so much because of this-

{\} but n e way, getting Yeonjun to love you was his goal !! He set up dates for you so that you could be happy, ditched the two of you whenever it was movie night, plus told his older bro to give you a plushy

{\} along the way though, Kai definitely realized his feelings for you through the weird erratic thumps in his heart

{\} ahh, he didn’t mean to fall in love with you after all this time !!

{\} little did hyuka know that you liked him too because of these sweet efforts in wanting to make you happy :00 *gasp*

{\} one day or another, either one of you are going to confess !!

｡*:★(´・ω・人・ω・`)｡:゜★｡

Posted: 11/12/20- 12:20am

Tags:

#txt fluff #txt reactions #*｡『 keah’s requests !』｡*

97 notes · View notes

acidmatze · 3 years

Text

Okay here's the rant about the horrible OOCness of fanon Gojou, cuz one person requested it and whats more important: I cant shut up anyway.

I gotta say... Ive been in fandom for a long time. A LONG time. So long in fact that my time in fandom is probably higher than someone's age on here. (Not that this means anything significant except that after some time you just have Seen Things)

And the fandom's portayal of Gojou in roughly 90% of the fics i come across and most posts that arent in-depth meta or fanart is the worst ive seen in a long time. Might even beat Hawks... but i havent checked the tag in months so i cant say much about that anymore.... Maybe the dust has settled by now... Who knows? Not me, thats for sure.

I get it, sometimes we are just horny and wanna write horny shit but seriously, y'all are horny for a person you have made up completely yourself cuz whoever you are writing... Thats not Gojou. "Oh i love Gojou so much" No you dont, you have twisted his entire personality into something that doesnt even exist, half bad faith readings of canon and half made up completely. And usually, the hornier the fanfic the more OOC it gets. Why the hell is he always mean and nasty in fanfics? He's never an asshole in canon except to Curses and the Higher Ups. Why the fuck would he be an asshole to a possible partner? I can count the fics on both hands where the teasing actually is light-hearted and funny and not a direct attack on whoever is on the other end of it. But canon Gojou isnt mean for no reason at all! Where did this interpretation come from? People who never had fun in their life? Turn on your location i just wanna talk. I come with pies to throw at you cuz youre the clown.

"I am the strongest" is a necessity. Its something to hold on to like youre lost at sea and find a piece of wood. Its what remains of "We are the strongest" and its truly tragic that theres no trace of that in fanon Gojou. Wheres the impact Geto had on him? Wheres everything that remains of Geto that Gojou is still carrying around in his heart and his mind? You cannot seperate Gojou from this without turning him into someone completely else. If the fandom material doesnt include him explicitly then theres no mention at all. (And the stuff that does include Getou isnt the OOC one, generally speaking)

There are so many people in the fandom who allegedly "love" him that dont treat him any different than the people in his life already do. Calling him Immature, Annoying, an Idiot. Shipping him with people who actively cannot stand him in the slightest and never have. What positive things do you have to say about him? Are there any? There sure are but somehow they rarely ever are mentioned. I dare the people who say they love him so much to name things they love about him that you do not need eyes for.

For someone thats allegedly so "Loved" you sure hate and disrespect this man a lot.

#gojo satoru #side of me who is afraid of possible confrontation and side of me whos angry FIGHT

7 notes · View notes

q-u-a-c-k · 3 years

Text

rant that you can just skip over 😂 it's just detailed intrusive thoughts. and I'm continuing to rant about literally everything that goes through my brain so I am here writing this and not acting on thoughts or being stupid.

okay so this is a note from after I have written all that. and basically it's complaining and ranting about everything and hyperfixating on space and science in the end. in the middle I talk about my fears of love 😂 potentially triggering stuff? it's all nonsense you really dont have to read it. it was just to keep myself from doing something I shouldn't. so if you could be triggered by literally anything maybe dont? idk. I cant stop you but it's probably annoying and not interesting. if anyone does read it though let me know if I need to tag it anything.

So my brain has now decided that because there is no way I am sleeping tonight unless it's exhaustion, I get intrusive thoughts. fun! so rn it has been fixated on the fact that because I am closest to the outside. not hall door. that I could easily sneak out. which is very much not good idea, because 1) I dont live in this area, 2) it's still cold as fuck outside at night, 3) I would literally fucking get lost or caught immediately. So yeah :) I dont even know what I would do if I did go and I don't want to because I have an idea of what brain would say and that's a big no. it's especially big no because I'm too comfortable with the idea of it but I'm not allowed to. and I guess now it's kinda good because brain is thinking about how I miss my cat. I just wanna see my baby and be in my safe place with the people I'm actually comfortable with (cat and phone with online friends) like guys he's so fuckung adorable and what if he doesnt know why I'm not there right now. usually he sleeps in my room at night. so what if he's in my room waiting for me and I cant go see him. you're damn right that I'm crying about this. i just want my baby because he is my baby and an indicator of a safe place.

also I am so incredibly fucking uncomfortable. like I cannot sleep because 1) in a place I do not know 2) there are people (family) in the room that I am not comfortable letting my guard down around 3) there's so much noise from snoring (and from one sleep talking) 4) I am on the couch because when we go places I'm always the one who has to and it's a shitty pull out bed couch. it makes way too much noise that I have been in an uncomfortable position for over 3 hours because I dint want to disturb anyone else. and I can very easily feel like of the metal bars under the middle of my back 5) I am very cold. I forgot a blanket and I didnt get one because the room only gave us one extra one (I dont think we're supposed to have an extra person) ad my sister got it even though I'm the one by the outsid,door, window, and air conditioner which wont turn off. I at least have my flannel though to cover my legs 6) my head hurts so bad because it's the kind of headache that hurts to have eyes open, breath, or move around in general 7) my stomach hurts so bad because I had to eat because apparently people get hungry and are supposed to eat along with anxiety from literally all of this 8) I have not gotten to be alone for more than 10 minutes since the middle of Wednesday whereas usually I spend almsot all of my time alone (with cat and phone with online friends) in my safe place. 9) I have not stopped crying (not really like crying crying but like there has been tears or water from my eyes because for some reason they burn and some because of anxiety or missing cat. 10) I keep thinking that at any moment I close my eyes someone is going to break into the room or one of my family members are gonna do something (I literally dont know what, that's intrusive thoughts talking but I have previously freaked out because I thought they were gonna aliven't me for no reason) 11) When I'm somewhere I'm not used to I get really bad muscle cramps in my arms and legs and I am not having fun with that.

sorry that was a shit ton of complaining that nobody should have read or give a shit about. so sorry if anyone actually read that?

also Allison, if you actually do read this (istg you really dont have to. like I said this is just my train of thoughts written to prevent me from doing anything. I am not watching wandavision until later today 😂 and I am staying off the discord server I joined becuas of potential spoilers.

anyways continuation of rants and complaints. I really want to put the phone down and attempt to sleep even though I know I'm not gonna be able to and for that reason I have to write here because I do not trust myself with my brain being like this rn. but I wanna put phone down so bad because my eyes hurt and my head hurts from having eyes open.

and I really wanna just get my earbuds out and have controlled noise and potentially fall asleep but that would take noise louder than them to drown them out but any noise already is hurting my head and earbuds sound really uncomfortable right now.

also I'm starting to get really cold again because the flannel was working for a little but I think that was because I had to move a little bit to get it out and on my legs and I haven't been moving.

also my sister (sleep.talker) has been just making noises and mumbling all night except just now she went "eww" and rolled over and continued snoring and sleeping. so that's fun. totally didnt scare me.

oh my God it's fuckung almost 3:30 I just wanna sleep. at this rate I dont care in what way it happens, but I want sleep in the next 10 minutes so I cannot be aware of how uncomfortable or in pain I am.

my back (which usually already has back pain) connot stand to lay on the bar in this position anymore so I have to move but it's so loud and I dont wanna wake anyone up or move into a worse position but feel bad for moving.

I have now moved and I dont THINK I woken anyone up. back is better but head hurts so much more now because of movement and I am now laying on my knee which I have a lot of problems with and am not having a fun time.

idk what to talk about. I want sleep or to at least put phone down but like I said multiple times I do not trust my brain rn so I have to keep writing stuff. and I dont want to just keep complaining but idk what to talk about and complaining is easiest rn because I was out in an uncomfortable situation by coming with them and I didnt want to in the first place but would not be able to stay home.

I am now gonna talk about sleep and my thoughts about it. I like being asleep but I also dont. I like being not awake but most of the time do not like the dreams I have. but sleep itself is such an interesting concept. like the body forces itself to shut down and put you unconscious to like rest itself or repair before continuing to function. and it's like (supposed to be) on a specific or close to schedule. like youre supoosed to have a schedule for when you're unconscious. and this is completely normal. a part of our society is actually shaped around this too? like at certain times around the world it gets all dark and the world goes quiet for a while. idk I just think it's really interesting. maybe it's not idk lmao.

and now brain wants to talk about how and why I am afraid to love. :). brain is afraid to love because that means I have to be vulnerable to someone and that's just so terrifying to do, especially being someone who is different than a lot of the heteronormative society. like I absolutely love my friends. and once I'm comfortable around them, I'm gonna tell them that I love them as much as I can (but also dont want to make them uncomfortable). because if I finally feel comfortable enough around you to be vulnerable and accept that I love you despite brain's overwhelming urge to say I don't and be invulnerable and safe, I'm gonna tell you that as much as I can that I love you. because it literally happens so little in my life that I actually really trust someone. so if I tell you I love you I mean it (and it tells you I trust you). like seriously, I barely even say it to my mom because I'm so on guard and trying to watch my back around her. and I dont think I say it to the rest of my family. unless it's my grandparents I'm gonna tell them that because I think I do just in a different way of your my grandparent and you're family. and I occasionally say it to my irl best friend because there's still a lot I'm on guard about because I haven't told her a lot of things so we're not as close as you'd think. but if you're reading this I have probably told you i love you. and i know Allison i tell you as much as i can because I think yyou'rethe absolute top person that I trust and love, so i try to tell you a lot. because I love you!! you're like my entire found family 😂

but now we're gonna talk about reasons why I'm terrified to be in love romantically. Because I dont think i have actually liked someone romantically or really ever be romantically interested in anyone. I have thought about it because I felt like I had to tell myself I was ( I was not). like i thought I had a crush on someone once but I think it was because I was unable to be their friend at the time that I wanted to be their friend even more. and because I never really got to pick my friends I didnt know what it was like to actually want to be friends with someone. but thinking about someone romantically I just cant really do. because I don't want to get into a romantic relationship if I don't know if I'm gonna like them romantically at all. do people like people romantically when they first go out with someone? or do they just say I kinda like this person let's try it out? because that just doesnt make sense to me and idk. and it could very well be that I'm just to young to know yet. because I still dont even know what I would want from a romantic relationship. like... Idk what there is for me to want or what's different to loving your friends besides calling them something else? and the whole having to trust that this person likes you in a specific way that you might like them before you take it far enough and get hurt because they just don't feel the same? or you're the one that's not really sure and potentially hurt someone else? I know people say it's just a risk you're gonna have to take but I dont want to take a risk like that. I dont mind being hurt from it myself but in terrified at the thought that I could potentially hurt someone because I just dint feel a certain way. and I still dont know what the difference is between friend love or romantic love to be able to judge or risk that? like seriously what is different? because I mean, maybe affection like have someone to hug or cuddle? but you could do that with friends and it should be a normal thing to have with your friends. but ig this still is a fucked up society that thinks everything has to be more than what it really is. and it just leaves people touch starved because of it. idk. maybe one day I'll figure it out, but how it's just Greek and foreign to me. idfk.

well that was fun. now it's 4 and I need something else to talk about because even if I do potentially fall alseep soon, I do not want those to be my last thoughts and possibly have dream about it (dreams for me are typically not good).

I think I see the moon. it's either a moon or a parking lot light. and I know the moon is either full or very close to full (I'm pretty sure it's just very. close) but I wish all of those lights outside were off and possibly have a new moon so I could see the stars. I love the stars so much. i love the moon, too, but right now it's very bright. but I wish I was more into astronomy and knew more about it. because that's also something that's very interesting to me is space and the stars. I wanna be someone who knows about all of the constellations. but I have a horrible memory and absolutely would not be able to remember 88 different stories. although I'd want to. even though most of them or a bunch are just Zeus being a dick. but more to the science side of the stars is so interesting to me that they're soooooo far away. like they're literally incomprehensibly far away. like I cannot comprehend how big a football field is without see one, I'm agine being able to comprehend the distance of light years? like I know we know how far it is but I'm pretty sure human minds cannot comprehend how far that ACTUALLY is. even if we know it's a LOT. and isnt it cool how we're able to know there are other planets outside of the solar system? I believe it's 4 different planets that we know of that are MORE inhabitable than earth. like better to live on. and they have either older or stronger stars that wouldn't die out as fast as our sun. although there comes the debate of if we should be able to go to them. it's a very debatable question, but I think overall the answer would be no. because humans have fucked up an entire planet, why should we be allowed to do it to another? like it realize it's literally a percent of humans that fucked it up for the rest of the planet, but humans have an inner need to have power over everyone else and other things and would stop at nothing to get what they want. humans could so easily become corrupt and destroy other planets too. it's kind of a fucked up thing to say, but I feel like maybe humans should die out with our planet. like of course it's not fair to the ones who haven't had the chance to live a life yet. but it was never fair to the other creatures humans killed for their own needs. like we have caused extinction several times. karma will get you back in the end ig. and it would be cool to know but obviously we wouldnt be able to know, if a species even smarter than humans evolved and kept the peace on earth, even as the ruling species? ruling sounds wrong but idk what else to call it. whatever we are above everything else is what they would be. but it would be so amazing to know what smarter beings are alive or could eventually live. like that's so fucking cool.

anyways I should probably try to sleep or put phone down because now brian doesnt have time to let me do anything I shouldnt. it's 4:30 😂 someone is probably gonna wake up soon because idk.

1 note · View note

too-strange-for-earth · 5 years

Text

Memories (3/?)

Parings: steve Harrington x reader, Jim hopper x daughter! reader, nancy wheeler x platonic! reader, Jonathon Byers x platonic! reader. (Future Billy Hargrove x reader)

Masterlist

Prompt list

(1)-(2)-(4)-(5)-(6)

(Y/n): your name

(Y/m/n): your middle name

(Y/e/c): your eye color

(Y/h/c): your hair color

tags: @bandsandanimefreak @fortheloveoflamp @naomiiiiiiiiiii04 @addictwithaheavydirtycheetah @daddyuwuss

warnings: language, bad writing, angst, fluff.

a/n: this was a bitch to type, I injured pinkie finger and it hurts to type. so, sorry if its a bit rushed and all over the place. I'm just trying to tie loose ends.

It was a normal morning some would say. Jim woke up in a cold sweat with a hangover that felt as if a boulder landed on him, Steve was passed out on the couch holding his deceased girlfriend's shirt while the family videos played and Eleven at Mikes still discussing their plan to find (y/n).

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHES ALIVE?! IF SHE WAS ALIVE I WOULD KNOW IT BY NOW! CAUSE STEVEN HARRINGTON CANT KEEP HIS DAMN MOUTH SHUT!” Dustin screamed throwing the board game on the floor, Max emidiatly hushed him. El was sitting around the table with her friends as the DnD board was on the floor, it was odd. Mike was trying to think about how it was possible, Will was trying to calm Dustin down from his outburst.

“Will? Did you see her at all?” Lucas looked up finally removing his hands from his face. “N-No not at all. I didn't feel him near.” Will stammered. He felt guilty keeping this from his brother, what if she really was alive?

Jim went to work angry, tired, and in need of a cigarette. There was no music on the drive there, and he just found out that he drank all the beer last night trying to figure out how this is possible.

“Wow, Jim. Who peed in your oatmeal this morning” one of the cops snickered as he sat down at his desk. He let out a long sigh, took off his hat, and started to go through any and all paperwork that dealt with Starcourt Mall and the Russians last year.

He heard a knock on the door and saw Florence with a cup of water and an aspirin. “thanks.” the cop mumbled as she set the two items down and sat across from him. “Jim, I haven't seen you this distraught since the Byers kid went missing. What's going on?” the woman asked with worry in her eyes.

“It's about (Y/N) a few people around town are saying they saw her. I have to find out if it's true or some cruel joke. I swear if it’s some cruel joke I’m going to make those fuckers wish they didn’t come up with the idea.” Jim growled out, holding back tears as he glanced at the picture frame of his family. “If it helps any, you might want to talk to Joyce about this. The girl would do anything for you.” Florence smiled as she left the dark room, wishing for her friend to feel better.

Three hours later he finally found something. Three hours to find out there was a call about a lost girl. Three hours to go by some random strangers eyes from the town over. It wasn't a lot, and it probably wasn’t her, but if there was a chance that his daughter was alive he will try to find out. “I'm taking the day off,” Hopper said leaving the building.

Steve woke up crying, he thought that the events from yesterday were just a bad dream. He couldn't take it anymore he has to do something about this, he has to find her. He got into the car and drove to the Wheelers residence, it was a long shot trying to talk to Nancy, but if he knew El (and he practically knew everything at this point) she would be with MIke.

Before he could even ring the doorbell Nancy opened the front door. “Steve?! What the hell are you doing here?!” she exclaimed. Ever since (Y/n) left the two didn't speak unless forced to; it wasn't that they hated each other. It was more like they couldn't look at each other without being reminded of her. “Is Mike here,” Steve said as Nancy moved out of the way to let him in.

“uhh yeah, he’s in the basement. Why?” She was more confused than ever. If Steve is here to talk to Mike then that meant two things, El was in trouble with Hopper or that the Demogorgon was back; and she was really hoping it wasn't the latter. “DnD business Nance.” Steve didn't technically lie, but it also wasn't the truth. “okay?” she didn't bother to ask about it any further. When steve became short with his answers she knew that there was no chance to get anything out of him. When she turned back to the door she saw the flash of (y/n)’s (y/e/c) eyes. “Shit”

He ran down the stairs, keys still in hand, to see the party including Robin sitting on the floor in deep thought. “So I'm guessing El told you.” Everyone jumped hearing his voice. “what the fuck man! You didn't bother to radio it in?!” Dustin ran over to the young adult. (Y/N) was like an older sister to the teenagers, always there to give advice, watch a movie, or even rant or cry on her shoulder. But she had an especially close bond with Dustin, Mike, Will, and El.

“And let whoever listen in? ‘Oh yeah, guess what guys! My dead girlfriend isn't dead after all! No, in fact, she's in Hawkins and I think I'm going crazy and her Dad is mad at me cause I probably pulled her into this fucking mess!’ NO! I'm not going to do that Dustin!” Steve all but calmy said running a hand through his already tousled hair. everyone stopped moving and started to look behind Steve. “What is it now,” Steve exclaimed turning around.

Everything went silent, all breathing stopped. Steve couldn't believe it, he dropped his keys and walked cautiously towards the stairs. “(Y/N)?”

Hopper arrived at Joyce's house to see the door open. He put his hand over his gun and walked forward. “Joyce?” He asked as he stepped through the door, everything was still in place except for Wills drawings all over the table. “In here Jim!” a sigh of relief left his lips as he walked towards her room to see her on the phone.

“yeah... okay thanks, Nancy.” Joyce hung up the phone and looked at Hopper, his eyes full of worry as she waled to him. “She's alive, and at Mikes.” Hopper let out a shaky laugh and pulled the woman into a hug. “I knew it, Joyce. I fucking knew it.” They stayed like that for a good five minutes until they decided to go to Mikes and Nancy's.

Usually, it would take ten to fifteen minutes to the Wheelers, but Hopper wasn't going to waste another minute away from his daughter. One year too long.

Five minutes. That is how long it took for hugs to be passed around and for Hopper to bust down the door and run to the basement. “(Y/N) (Y/M/N) HOPPER! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! ONE YEAR (Y/N) (Y/M/N)! ONE LONG FUCKING YEAR!” It wasn’t a shock to hear Hopper yell, but the fact that he used her middle name made it otherwise.

He noticed a few new scars over her body, some cuts on her face, as well as some bruises here and there. She didn’t deserve any of this, she didn’t do anything wrong to be harmed.

“You’re telling me” she smiled softly, looking at her father. He opened his arms as she crashed into him. A hug well needed and well deserved. Everyone ignored the fact that if she were alive than something might be alive as well.

(Part 4)

#kinda wanna die #but its ok #soooo here it is #memories #steve harrington x reader #dustin and steve #steve harrington #jim hopper x reader #jim hopper #billy hargove x reader #billy hargove fluff #nancy wheeler x jonathan byers #nancy wheeler #nancy wheeler x reader #jonathan byers x reader #jonathan byers #memories 3

110 notes · View notes

groundramon · 6 years

Text

Homph I finished tri and I wrote down my thoughts as I was watching because I had too many funny shitposts and nobody to share them with bc charlie hasn’t watched tri yet

PS i wont be reblogging tri spoilers (besides MINOR stuff like, digivolutions of already confirmed digivolution lines or non-spoilery shitposts, but I’ll try to tag shitposts as #tri spoilers anyways [digivolutions specific to tri ill tag as well but not ones that were already basically confirmed]) for a while so ur safe here! I’m just gonna like everything/most things because then I can rb em to hisyaryumon lmao (also u should check out hisyaryumon....its me n charlie’s digimon blog)

EP 1:

- ok. alright. ok. good. they’re dealing with kari’s emotions now instead of just. nothing. ok. alright. cool. Still dont like how obscure/”artsy” they’re being with it, this is digimon not kagerou project, but ok.

- Also. I stand by tk and kari being one of the few good straight ships in digimon. just saying.

- kari: this is my fault... me: god damn it shut up you little brat also me: god relatable ALSO me: ill take whatever display of emotions i can get

- I love how nobody believes tai is dead like. They’re upset and worried but they’re also like “nah. he cant be. that fucking asshole just left us in our time of need” (actually only matt is the last one)

- Gabumon i would die for you also im crying and I think that’s the first time tri managed to make me fucking CRY

EP 2:

- I had thoughts but then the 02 kids happened and I entered another plane of reality. I don’t feel real right now

- the only one I can remember is evil!gennai being a dumbass and being like “SUFFER AND SQUIRM YOU PATHETIC HUMANS AS YOU FIGHT OVER THE LAST SEAT” 1. humans are KNOWN for their ability to care for others you dumb obvious fuck and 2. is. is the entire tube going? because that tube can fit too people if they squish. This isn’t a joke I’m serious it can.

- oh yeah also when i saw whomstever the fuck his name is (adult guy who i love but fuck names) and he was all bloodied i was like “its a cold day in hell when i see blood in digimon” (I think there was blood in an earlier ep but shh idc)

EP 3:

- didn’t nishijima start off as a fucking life coach to these kids. What the fuck he was supposed to help them find a career not emotionally scar them by bloodily dying in front of one of them

- im realizing that the reason hackmon was always in his cloak, in the shadows, standing still is that they cannot animate him in any normal position for the life of him. I drew him with better anatomy when i was 14 and didn’t have a tablet. No seriously, look:

I didn’t say it wasn’t bad, you guys are just underestimating how bad the anatomy on this poor creature is. Why cant ppl draw dracomon or hackmon correctly imma cry

- ordinemon has the best reaction faces

the best part about these two screenshots is that they literally cut one to the other, first the first one to the second one and then it cuts back to the first one. They were really proud of these stupid ass expressions.

- I started overcoming my dissociation shock from the second episode and my hypercritical mind was analyzing the shit out of everything that happened (it is Not happy) but then evil!gennai called kari and evil goddess and idk if he’s exaggerating to make her feel bad or if she’s literally a fucking god of chaos and destruction and either way im like

she did kinda like. Watch wizardmon die, watch tai die, watch gatomon get absorbed. The dark ocean is just a metaphor for depression and honestly if 02 wasn’t all over the fucking place I think Kari would’ve had some pretty decent development in it. Actually you know what, I’m using that as an angle to approach Tri at now, wish me luck bc i might actually give it more leeway now

EP 4:

- I’m not dissociating but I forgot to say anything again and I already forgot what happened

- Cant believe mei is fucking dead

EP 5:

- I like to imagine that Tai got there like a few minutes ago, but he was like “well damn guess yall figured it out without me. alright ill just. see if I need to do anything” and then meicoomon was Still Bad so he waited for when she struck just to make the most badass entrance possible. Fucking extra ass bitch

- I forgot to write anything again but uhhh I wasn’t satisfied so anyways lets just get into the Juicy Details

Originally I was actually planning to be kinder to Tri than I expected. Was very invested during it. ‘Round the end of the last ep I realized hmmm no this isn’t working out. Where are the 02 kids. You should’ve brought them in to save the day. That would’ve been SO cool and SO fun. Fucking cowards.

god I’m kinda tired so I’m going to address a couple things I still had problems with, note that this isn’t everything it’s just everything I felt comfortable yelling about without rewatching past eps. Like I forgot nishijima was all bloodied and presumably died in the last part until they brought it up and I was like “????” ALSO DID THE LADY WHO WAS HIS PARTNER OR W/E KILL HERSELF WITH THE GUN SHE FOUND, I JUST REALIZED LITERALLY AS I WAS TYPING THIS THAT SHE FOUND A GUN AND THEN I THINK IT CUT TO BLACK AND I’M

DID SHE FUCKING KILL HERSELF WHAT THE FUCK

anyways my problems:

1. They did joe. really dirty. I’ll write a more proper rant on this sometime later (mostly bc charlie is MUCH better at talking about joe than I am) but basically I can tell you that his character development in the movies squandered his OG character development. He’s basically an entirely different person. Like Tri joe isn’t bad, besides being largely neglected (yes he has a whole half a movie to himself, no that doesn’t make up for it all), its just...not OG joe. He’s a fine character just not the same character, and its NOT fine when you put the two together.

2. THEY DID THE 02 KIDS EVEN DIRTIER IM SO BITTER sorry you nostalgia-blind, money-hungry fucks at bandai, but the 02 cast is PART OF THE ADVENTURES UNIVERSE. The only people who hate 02 are ones who like the characters but hate the mess of the storyline at the end, or are completely irrational and elitist about their love of the digimon series and would greatly re-evaluate their opinions if they watched the original series and 02 back to back. They couldn’t even show them in some kind of group montage at the end??? Standing in the background when they call Mei??? Why couldn’t they call mei from a home phone also, but that’s a less important problem idc that much. It was a cute scene besides the lack of 02 characters. Whatever. AND THE PROBLEM IS LIKE kari and tk? This entire time??? Were like “oh they disappeared. oops” instead of being frantically searching for their lost friends??? Like i get tk and kari probably have fucking ptsd and can’t express any emotions because they watched important people die in front of their eyes at an incredibly young age but also 1. they didn’t address the ramifications of ptsd, so fuck that theory/excuse and 2. THAT??? WOULD ONLY MAKE THEM LOOK HARDER??? and put on a brave face as they look, but inside they’re so scared and so worried. Not just “oh sweet, they were found/saved, theyre in the hospital but that’s fine” like WHAT theyre fucking assholes if that’s what they’d canonically do lmao. God I am SO bitter over the ENTIRE thing with the 02 kids, it would’ve been BETTER if they were deleted from the fucking canon entirely. Would I have still been bitter? Yes. But at least I wouldn’t be madder at TK and Kari too.

3. I stand 100% by the notion that Digimon is not and will never be cut out to be an adults’ franchise. It wasn’t designed for adults, and it can’t be skewered towards adults. These particular characters were designed for kids to relate to and find entertaining. They do not work when placed into an adult setting. Like, can you imagine a character like Ed from FMA going to the Digimon world? I guess in a way that’s just Marcus but like. Just imagine the FMA cast in Digimon Adventure. It doesn’t work. Digimon Tri is basically that except real. Also Data Squad was darker than Adventure so my joke doesn’t even work.

I guess my primary point is that Tri isn’t mature enough of a setup for an adult audience. It puts a focus on being “complex” and “philosophical” instead of working within Digimon’s constraints and making something good and adult out of that. Like! Digimon is a fucking TOY COMMERCIAL. Don’t give me messages about the futility of human life. I want bad puns and emotional characters. That’s what Digimon has ALWAYS been, and ideally always will be. Tri could’ve made itself more mature by dealing with the ramifications of the Digital World’s events, how it affected the kids psychologically and dealing with healing old scars. It would’ve been a more mature take on a story we loved and would use things we loved about the story already - the fact that it took so much time exploring characters’ emotions and was surprisingly mature for the time - to make itself better. You need to take the aspects that drew adults to the show and amplify them, not just slap on a complex story and unfunny dialogue and be like “oh this is fine, right?”

It’s not that Digimon can’t exist as an adult property, its just that if it repeats what Tri did, it’s got no merit and in my eyes the franchise is dead. If it survives I guess I’ll be happy that people can still enjoy it but I find it unsustainable and unsatisfying to fans of the older series. Tri is just a fuckfest of highly specific nostalgia that tries too hard to appeal to old fans without capturing what made the original series so magical, and in part thats because the original series WASN’T FOR ADULTS. I don’t know about the Digimon Story games, bc they’re T-rated so perhaps they’re a better take on an adult Digimon story than Tri? But you either need to make your own characters and lore specifically for an adult-oriented Digimon season, or perish. Also, please make it a series and not a group of movies. Getting four eps every 6-9 months was hell.

I stand by saying Appmon is a more faithful Digimon season than Tri to Digimon’s original spirit. I believe it holds more potential for success than Tri and better embodies the spirit of the older Digimon seasons. It’s dumb, its corny, it has horrible puns, but I LOVE it because it also has a deep dark story and emotional moments. If you dislike Tri and you agree with things I said that make it unlikeable, I highly recommend giving Appmon a chance - if you watch a few episodes and think “oh yeah, I guess this is decent” you’re going to like it. It’s everything Digimon has always been and hopefully always will be, just with a different concept. And hopefully the end of the series doesn’t leave a sour taste in my mouth and I have to redact this statement haha since I’m not done with it yet, but I’ve heard good things about it so I’m hoping not so.

Overall, if you watch Tri, don’t get your hopes up. It resolves everything okay-ish but it’s a pretty forgettable anime on its own and simply doesn’t work as part of the Digimon franchise.

I am, however, pretty interested in what evil!gennai said at the end about Diaboromon and Daemon. It raises interesting questions about the timeline too. We know Daemon is in the dark ocean, so perhaps that’s a hint at a future project? (They did confirm a future project btw, in conjunction with tri being over) But what about Diaboromon? I dont believe that Our War Game (I think thats what its called?) took place after Tri, based on the outfits and ages and stuff, but I also don’t remember the movies that well. Could Diaboromon still be out there too? It’s interesting.

However, because of the lackluster performance of Tri, I don’t have my hopes up and I really hope that this “next project” goes in a different direction. Although I guess if they include the 02 kids, I’ll be somewhat less salty...

Side note, did they ever explain why the gennais went evil? Like ? That’s a pretty important thing. The gennais helped SAVE the human world in 02. And I get that apparently Tri is ignoring 02′s ending but still. It’s shitty, because Gennai was still a good guy in the original too (and also they cant just keep is younger look and act like 02 never happened) MAYBE its something I missed but I dont think so. God there’s just. So much wrong with Tri. I’m very displeased and very bitter and I wanna get back to Appmon asap.

It’s got good moments, its got bad moments, I dont know, I don’t care. There’s nothing wrong with you if you like it, there’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you flip flop and are split like me. I just wish Tri fulfilled its potential instead of becoming a boring mess.

#stormy speaks #digimon

1 note · View note

transbonmoved · 7 years

Text

hey guys its time for me to infodump dekumob shit

rip all the mobile users who probs have to scroll past all this im sorry

their childhoods are polar opposites. deku was powerless & bullied for this, yearning for power & to be a hero. mob was born with power & sees it as nothing but a burden and is afraid of hurting people with his power.

deku puts a lot of value in the power he was granted too while mob wishes he didnt even have his powers at times and can see them as worthless.

deku would be amazed & fascinated by mobs abilities so much. while there would probably be plenty of esper heroes, mob is so damn powerful and i think after seeing mob use some of his power deku would be able to quickly recognize that. deku probably takes notes on esper heroes such as buildup of power and notes how little buildup mob needs to give out a powerful blow.

mob tells deku abt how he loses control sometimes and deku goes on this mumbling rant on how it could happen. no conclusion is ever really made

whenever mob feels self conscious about his quirk, deku is always there to cheer him up, whether it be intentional or deku starts rambling on how useful his quirk is especially if he gets creative on the battlefield or if he wants to become a rescue hero its perfect and oh no hes going on his mumbling tangent again

work out buddies! deku ends up having to pick mob off the ground a lot but he encourages him

deku admires mobs efforts but is also worried over mob accidentally overworking himself

mob probably really admires how much muscle deku already put on which turns deku beat red each time mob compliments it but he sincerely means it, deku

their familes get along well

inko would probably love mob a lot. inko is kind of a very weak telekinesis user so they connect through quirks somewhat & inko would be so happy that deku found such a nice & caring person

ritsu & deku also get along super well. their conversations will range from small talk to really detailed discourse

ritsu is somewhat surprised when mob tells him deku is his bf but is also kind of relieved that mob would end up with such a good guy. of course it takes a while to really trust deku but ritsu never has too many doubts on him

kageyamas will invite deku to dinner & inko will invite mob to dinner sometimes

when ua gets dorms it seems like every other day mob is investigating some kind of haunting rumor. theyre rarely ever true and sometimes deku tags along out of curiosity of how mobs after school job may be like.

deku does eventually meet reigen, and really isnt quite sure what to make of the guy. he finds it odd how he is so insistent that yes, i have a quirk, what are you talking about kid, have you not heard of me??

mob lets deku info dump hero stuff whenever he wants. he doesnt understand most of the stuff but he always loves seeing deku get so passionate abt the things he loves.

he also tries reading some of dekus notebooks when offered and its just him going “lots of words i dont understand” again

at some point mob just starts shoving spare napkins in his pocket for whenever deku needs them. you could say its routine for mob to hand deku a napkin while deku lets out a “thanks” through tears

it worries mob each time though, even if to others it may be obvious happy tears mob always checks to see if deku is ok

speaking of emotions, this is another huge contrast between them. deku is very emotional and isnt afraid to cry in front of people, but can also shut off his emotions in serious times. mob on the other hand has trouble with his emotions and finds trouble expressing what emotions he is in touch with unless its a full blown breakdown. mob is more inclined to burst in situations while deku can remain cool headed.

also, theres probably going to be a time where deku has to calm mob down after hitting a (negative) 100%. with already mentioning mob bringing napkins i think comforting & supporting each other would be a huge thing in their relationship.

but also consider deku causing mob to hit 100% love at some point

deku always feels his stomach churn when mob says he “cant do anything without his powers”. deku probably would acknowledge just how intelligent mob can actually be on his own, especially when dismantling others bad behavior

he sees that first hand where, at first mob was scared of bakugou, but that anxiety quickly turned to irritation when learning about what bakugou has done to deku and what hes witnessed bakugou say about others. of course sometime this leads to an inevitable “why do you put others down?” confrontation

whether mob intentionally did it or not hes able to hit bakugou right where it counts just like he did with teru. and deku is really grateful and looks up to mob to be able to stand up to bakugou like that. and thank god for mobs barrier, or else there probably wouldve been a full blown fight.

thats another thing i think would be big with them, genuine admiration for each other.

fuck man they just love each other a lot

if we’re really smushing canon together, i think mobs experience with mogami would really make him realize just how much deku went through as a kid.

he probably would end up despising bakugou more due to it

they go to pride together!!!

they like taking naps together after stressful days

it takes a while for them to have their first actual kiss bc they are both flustered all the time. mobs probably the one who tries making a move though.

deku helps mob study after learning just how bad mobs grades are. it doesnt really help but mob appreciates dekus help nonetheless.

their respected friend groups get along well!

mob & iida & uraraka have no problem getting along at all. iida would probably like how close to rules mob sticks too, and uraraka would just appreciate mobs company in general. theyre floaty friends.

deku & teru get along fairly well. dekus eyes nearly bulge out of his head when learning how teru & mob met though, and how teru was a lot like bakugou at one point but is now changing for the better.

deku is blown away by the body improvement club and really has a hard time believing these kids are actually his age

they may be workout buddies but they also try to quirk train together, since they both need to try to control their powers better

hey will both post & send each other i love my bf memes

they also text each other late a night a lot. sometimes just small chat about how their day went or comfort if one is feeling bad for whatever reason

mob always gets super worried about deku when he ends up breaking bones due to his quirk

ends up giving lectures n stuff about how he needs to be more careful and how he should care more abt his well being

THATS ANOTHER contrast mobs afraid of hurting others with his quirk while deku hurts himself with his quirk

mob saves up money from his job to get deku surprise presents n stuff

this is all i have...............for now

#gabe gobbles

12 notes · View notes

suckit-aynrand · 7 years

Text

wow okay.

i just now finally got the guts to softblock my ex’s tumblr after a fucking year and a half.

ive wanted to rant and piss and moan about that whole debacle on here for so long but because she followed me etc. i never did because i didnt want to stir shit up

i shouldve done this a long time ago because every time i saw a post she reblogged i’d feel sick to my stomach and get really depressed tbh.

so now im trying to release all my shitty feelings by writing it out....

she was my first kiss and then she ended it before we were even able to give it a chance even though i’d liked her for over 6 months prior.

she was a fucking bitch though and made me feel so shitty about myself... unfortunately, i have an issue where i need everyone to like me so the more someone doesn’t care about me the harder I try and any drop of affection from them is like a drug.

ok so like she told me she was gay in like february or some shit and i told her I was bi because i was still trying to figure my shit out and then I started developing feelings for her (ie, see above) which i’d never done before because id never opened myself up to thinking about a girl that way and never with guys except for feeling ill....

so yeah, we were friends for a long time and i really liked her that whole time but i was fucking what 19 and had never done anything with anyone and was really nervous about stuff like that and, especially because of her personality where she’d be a total bitch 75% of the time and shoot down anything i said (which id just brush off as a joke or whatever and laugh) so no way in hell was i going to ever fucking make a move and i’d sleep over at her house (she lived at home) and she knew I had no experience and i told her id never even kissed anyone and she’d call me a “spring chicken” and shit because i was such a fucking everything virgin

we spooned once but i was so nervous and freaking out because im bad with touching people in general because i have this huge fear of doing something wrong and being rejected and totally overthing everything??

we also had this stupid bullshit thing about “ymir and krista” from attack on titan- shut the fuck up, i know, but like it was kind an apt metaphor for our personalities and looks (besides height because i was taller than her) so i remember and breaking point in my crush was when there was a “pick ten pictures that represent your aesthetic” on tumblr or whatever so i picked a bunch of pics or whatever and then one that was ymir/krista and i tagged her to do it too (do your sleuthing on your own time fellas) and she ALSO put a ymir/krista pic in hers so i was like HOLY FUCK IS THIS KISMET??? and then got my shit together to admit to my sister that i liked her and was bi (lol... that was a while ago...) and planned to ask her out myself.

anyway, like the next night, and incidentally on the night of the Supermoon in 2015 (when there was an eclipse on the night of the supermoon) i stopped by her job at gamestop when i was at the mall with friends to say hi (which i would do whenever possible... again, i was/am desperate for affection) and she said she was getting off soon and her grandparents were in town and were going to dinner at a place at the mall and would i like to go with so i was like sure so we went and then I went back to her place with her family and we sat outside to watch the supermoon and we were like holding hands and shit because it was cold and it was montana in late september etc. and i was nervous and all but all blushy and excited because of my previous nights shit, and then we eventually moved onto the back porch and she asked me if id want to date and i was like yes and then her homophobic grandparents came out to see if we were still watching the moon or whatever and then we went in to her room where i slept over and when we were looking out the window she kissed me and i was super nervous and blusy so it was like just a quick peck but it was my first kiss and i wanted to do it again but also i was scared to (like... because of her? and i was scared she wouldnt want to?)

so then the next morning i got a ride back to my place by her mom because i had an early class and we kissed (quickly again) before i left and then the next night i slept over at her place again but we didnt kiss at all... after that i would keep texting her and trying to make plans and stuff - i wasnt a student at the time but i lived close to campus so i was always like let me know when youre free and i can come up and meet you for lunch or i can come up and do anything because i wanted to see her and shit and she’d always be like “im busy with work/school/band etc.” so i was just like ok let me know when youre not and id visit her at work when i could but i didnt have a car and she was working and i didnt want to hang out in gamestop or whatever so id just pop in and it was awkward...

id said earlier that i wanted to go to the rocky horror show live that they did downtown so i saved up over $100 to get us tix and dressed all slutty for it (for her but also for rocky) and she wasnt really into it and i was trying to make it fun etc. and i had planned for her to stay the night at my place afterwards because i had an extra mattress under my bed for guests (THAT I LITERALLY ONLY BROUGHT WITH THE SPECIFIC INTENTION OF IT BEING FOR HER) but she said she had to go home or whatever and so i drove her home and walked her in and we kissed (quick kiss again) as i was leaving and then we kissed again, but like a couple little kisses in a row, and i was trying so hard to do it right but i was so nervous and that was all good (except she told me that my fucking MAC LIPSTICK didnt taste good... that fucker....) and then i left and continued to try to meet up with her and then one day she asked me if i was free to come talk to her on campus so i tried to dress up all cute and then she broke up with me.

the break up was so weird too because she was like “ive been too busy to see you, and ive been having a really hard time with my mom lately, and my dads cancer just came back and i want to still be friends and maybe next semester we can try again” and all and she was like crying (like a little bit) so i didnt want to be dramatic and make her feel bad so i tried to keep it light etc. (like i always do because im a fuck) so i was like its all good im so sorry youre having all this shit let me know if i can do anything etc. and then i hung out for a bit to try to make her feel like it was all good (even though i was devastated inside..... im just really awful with my emotions...) and then i left and was in a trance for a few days.... like even though practically nothing happened i didnt know (and still dont know???) what happened???

like....... was it because i wasnt really making any moves??? because i was trying like especially at halloween etc.????? and like she was the one who asked me out?????? like... i was also open about the fact that i’d be moving away the following summer most likely because i was changing schools and whenever i’d bring it up before we were “together” she’d legit like tear up and be like “you cant leave” and shit...?? was that why???? and like this still really gets to me even though it shouldnt and she truly was very hurtful to me in so many ways beyond this bullshit??? i just feel like i expended so much effort on building my relationship with her and never got any reciprication?

like... there were a couple of times the following semester where she’d text me and ask to get together with another friend or whatever and i really really really wanted to say no but that word isnt in my vocabulary because im an anti-confrontational pushover so we would and it would be so weird for me but id really really work to pretend like it wasnt and then i moved.

and i really honestly wanted to message her and be like can you just be open with me about why because i feel like i got no closure and i thought about doing it a bunch but i never did because im a coward and scared of putting other people in situations that might make them uncomfortable because i know how uncomfortable they make me and how much i hate it???? i also thought about asking a mutual friend if he knew anything about it because he was closer with her but i didnt even know if she told any of her friends/family about it because she was super open about being gay but didnt want me to be open about our relationship because, in her words, “they’d say we told you so and we knew” and she wanted to prove them wrong for as long as possible or something?

but now like a year and a half later its sooooo way beside the point and too late so like i cant do it now.... but i havent been in another relationship obviously and like last semester i was getting really unreasonably jealous over her ambiguous snap story about getting ice cream with her girl and how much she loves her even though im more than halfway across the country from her and now ive definitely calmed down and have faced the fact that she was a bitch but like i still feel so stuck with no closure and also am terrified that i’ll never find anyone else? and i also know that its my fault but i wish i knew how much and what i could do better in the future because im terrified of making the same mistakes again and feeling this emptiness?

i wish this were easier. im so sorry for spilling all this shit but ive been bottling it up for so long and have only ever told my sister and even her i didnt tell everything and i feel free now that i wont be seeing her posts anymore and can hopefully let this settle even more....

#my post #textpost #this is just a super long in depth story of my first #quote en quote relationship #and how lost and shitty and confused i feel about it #if anyone has any ideas or intuitions about what the fuck happened please let me know id appreciate it greatly

9 notes · View notes

boraboraketo-blog · 7 years

Quote

To all my Pro Anas/Pro Mias/Pro ednos, whatever out there.. Let me help you lose weight a quicker, much more successful and different way. 🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋

Let me start off saying this is going to be a long as fuck post but if you want to lose 36 pounds in under two months like I did (** depending from your starting weight**) I need you all to read it. So here it goes: 🦋 🦋 I understand. 🦋I UNDERSTAND. 🦋I understand.🦋 I understand the NEED and URGE to lose weight. I cant stress that enough. But i need you to take time and read this to the end 🦋 I will help you lose weight without you losing your mind 🦋 (very quickly too!)🦋 🦋THIS IS ALSO A GREAT DIET FOR ALL OF YOU BINGERS LOOKING FOR A WAY OUT AND AN EASY WEIGHT LOSS OPPORTUNITY OUT THERE🦋 🦋HERE IS HOW I LOST 36 POUNDS IN 6 WEEKS 🦋 I had anorexia switching back and fourth to bulimia for YEARS. I know where you're coming from. I know how much it sucks and how badly you lose hope when at the end of all your hard work you're not paid off. But hear my story. 🦋 I was over weight since i was a kid and it never ever ever ever EVER got easier. I would restrict since i was about 11 and on and off for years (I'm 23 now so thats about 11 years I did that.) I'd starve myself or binge/purge constantly. Its tough, it hurt me and for the most part, I NEVER lost any weight. At all. It landed me sick every week, put me in a mental hospital, my mind was groggy, and I was still fat. Thats when I was offered help from a nutritionist who (BLESS THIS MAN) helped me shed this weight. He understood my desperation and my exhaustion from trying and failing constantly. He saw the fear and self loathing in my eyes. And he helped me. He offered me something called the 'ketogenic diet'. Now its not as bad as you may think. So if you want to lose as much weight as I did (or more), read to the end. You WILL lose weight and lose it QUICK. (Again, 36 pounds under the first 2 months after NOTHING WORKED!) 🦋Now take a look at your diets for a second.. go ahead, I'll wait. 🦋 ...... sense a pattern? Carbs. Let me spin you a yarn about these devils. 🦋 🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫CARBS = ENEMY 🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫 BREAD 🍞 CANDY 🍭 CAKE 🎂 SUGARY FRUITS 🍌🍊🍇 ETC. 🍇🍌🥞🥖🍕🥓🍝🍙🍮🍩🍰🍦 🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫 DOESNT MATTER HOW LITTLE YOU RESTRICT YOUR CALORIES TO, THIS IS THE REASON YOU GAIN WEIGHT AFTER A FAST OR RESTRICTING. CARBS WILL ALWAYS STORE AS FAT. BIG BUBBLING FAT. AVOID. 🦋 But why are ednos/ana/mia people so scared of meat and fat? (The majority of this diet by the way!) Because its mostly FAT. You hear the word FAT AND THINK OF YOUR THIGHS, ARMS, STOMACH, ETC. Now i want you to do something. Go google the best and quickest diet for weight loss. 🦋Again, I'll wait. 🦋 ............ What is it? High fat/moderate protein/low carb. Atkins/ketogenic/whatever. The reason you're not losing weight is because of these damn carbs! Any low carb diet is PROVEN to make you lose 3x more weight than ANY OTHER DIET. EVEN RESTRICTING. I would restrict and never lose anything but thats because i was eating carbs, retaining water, etc. Now see the pattern? I scroll through these pro ana tags for days and It kills me how most of you feel so down and helpless. Well this high fat/mod protein/low-no carb diet will help. So let me explain for you angels who don't know it:: 🦋 THE KETOGENIC DIET IS A DIET THAT KICKSTARTS YOUR METABOLISM INTO A STATE OF KETOSIS. KETOSIS IS WHERE YOUR BODY ONLY USES THE STORED FAT ON YOUR BODY AS ENERGY. WHEN EATING CARBS, YOU USE THE CARBS AS ENERGY AND THE REST IS STORED AS FAT. WHEN EATING HIGH FAT/MODERATE PROTEIN, YOUR BODY BURNS THE FAT YOU'VE EATEN, THE FAT ON YOUR BODY, AND THE PROTEIN YOU'VE EATEN KEEPS YOU FULL FOR HOURS SO YOU DON'T BINGE OR HAVE CRAVINGS. 1. 🦋 first of all, Keto Flu. Im not gonna sugar coat it. This is the part that can kinda suck. (But so does not eating and gaining weight am I right?) Keto flu is your body transitioning from using energy from carbs to using energy from your fat cells. But the transition can suck because you get a quick migraine or sluggishness (which not everyone gets by the way!) for a couple of hours but once you're passed that- BAM. Fat burning machine. (I'd start this on a day off or a day where you don't have to exercise much.) 2. 🦋 Secondly, Ketosis. THIS. IS YOUR BEST FRIEND. THIS IS WHEN YOUR POUNDS START SHEDDING OFF LIKE YOU WOULDNT BELIEVE. People (much like I did!) lose up to 10 pounds in the first week and KEEP IT OFF! EVEN PEOPLE STUCK IN A PLATEAU! Your body slowly transitions from running on carbs for energy (and whatever is left over from carbs, no mater how little, gets stored as fat), to using fat for energy. Your own body fat! The high intakes of fat trains your body to get into a state of KETOSIS which is where you only burn fat. And did i mention YOUR OWN BODY FAT! With moderate protein intake it keeps you FULL FOR HOURS whereas eating carbs will leave you hungry within the next 30 minutes to an hour! 3. 🦋 Lastly, Keto Clarity. This, above anything is why you should switch and you will thank yourself. That whole grogginess, depression, sluggishness, self hatred from not eating/fasting (you know what im talking about) is gone. All while you're losing weight like crazy. Your normal thoughts are back, your cognitive function is at its highest, you're not thinking about eating all the time because the best part about this high fat/mod protein diet? YOU'RE ALWAYS FULL!!! You will NEVER be tempted to over eat! AND IF YOU DO OVER EAT (as long as its not carbs!) YOU WILL NOT GAIN WEIGHT. IT IS SCIENTIFICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO GAIN WEIGHT WITH FAT/RED MEAT ON THIS DIET. YOU HEARD ME RIGHT, GO LOOK IT UP. 🦋 Now last thing and I'll shut up and you can never look at this post again 🦋 🦋 The diet. 🦋 It can be overwhelming to start out (especially pro anas who restrict calories.) It is a lot of calories. But believe me when i say you will not be counting the calories. You will only be counting carbs. (If it makes you feel comfortable, go ahead and count calories but i promise you will not need to.) You can start out with 600 - 800 - 1000. Whatever, it doesn't matter. You can go up to 2000 a day (which is what I did and still lost 36 pounds in 45 days my dudes!) 🦋 But you're not counting calories on this, your counting your carb intake. Now a good sample diet is 55% fat (most of your calories) 30% protein and 2-5% carbs. 🦋 🦋🦋A GOOD DIET APP THAT LETS YOU TRACK THIS IS MY FITNESS PAL AND IT IS FREE. YOU CAN MODIFY YOUR PERCENTAGE INTAKE🦋🦋🦋 🦋 Now, you want your carb intake to be as LOW AS POSSIBLE. 🦋 This is where all your months/days/years of restricting comes in. You keep that carb intake 🦋UNDER 20 CARBS A DAY🦋 YOU WILL ONLY BE GETTING YOUR CARBS FROM VEGETABLES AND CHEESE, YES I SAID CHEESE. 🧀🍳🧀🍳🧀🍳🧀🍳🧀🍳🧀 CHEESE AND EGGS WILL BE YOUR NEW BEST FRIENDS!! 🦋 All the cheese you want because it is super low carb and super high fat! 🦋 🦋🦋HERE IS A SAMPLE OF MY DIET OF WHAT I HAVE EATEN EVERY DAY FOR THE PASSED 6 WEEKS AND MADE ME LOSE 36 POUNDS 🦋🦋 🦋Breakfast: 2 eggs fried (in olive oil) with cheddar cheese and a side of 6 strips of bacon (YES BACON) 🦋Lunch: Hamburger meat with fried egg on top with (you guessed it) more cheese and bacon! 🦋Dinned: 6-8 oz red meat steak SLATHERED in olive oil and worsteschire sauce and a side of broccoli. 🦋🦋🦋AND DONT FORGET TO ALWAYS DRINK WATER!! IT QUICKENS YOUR WEIGHT LOSS PROCESS ON THIS DIET BY BREAKING DOWN YOUR FATS/PROTEINS QUICKER!!! 🦋🦋🦋 Now the great thing about this diet is you can modify it however you want! As long as its meaty, cheesy, oily and 🚫🚫NO CARBS. 🚫🚫 I know it seems very scary at first but you can always try it for a week tops and see how you feel. I know its an awkward transition from one extreme diet to another but believe me when i tell you, if you do more research into this diet and attempt it, you will succeed and you will not regret it. You will only be successful in your weight loss journey. 🦋END RANT🦋 NOW GO LOOK UP ALL THE KETOGENIC TAGS AND SEE ALL OF THE AMAZING WEIGHT LOSS THIS DIET OFFERS 🦋 🦋AND DONT FORGET I LOVE YOU ALL 🦋

15 notes · View notes