#why would you fine the baby

[boobpancakes]

my infant's carbon footprint must be insane

#why would you fine the baby #that's fucked up

[extra-somethin-somethin]

If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)

#maybe one day i'll write that au i have sitting in my head #ever since the comment he made about making kuwa spirit detective instead ive been thinking about it #like...what if yusuke is still recruited same as canon but like #kuwa was already spirit detective? doing assignments for the guys upstairs and all #and they made yusuke help him after his resurrection instead of going solo #and it's hilarious because they still have the ''rivalry'' set in place so it's like #now i gotta be coworkers with this guy i was in a fist fight with last week? #yusuke is like you can't be serious you want me to fight DEMONS with the guy who cant even beat ME? lmaooo okay #kuwa would be more in tune with his powers atp in this au and super offended like hello #why would i use my reiki on a FELLOW HUMAN CHILD you DICK i can hold my own on my assignments just fine #but he's actually really excited to be able to spend time with yusuke doing something besides getting his ass handed to him #they're both genkai's students (she's endlessly annoyed but they grow on her) #i just think it'd be fun cos like #it'd be harder to exclude kazuma from shit if he's literally been involved in this shit before he even met #kurama and hiei #kuwabara isn't really told about yusuke's resurrection so things go mostly the same up til he's brought back #they're both called to koenma's office and it's the spiderman pointing meme 💀 #it's koenma's first time seeing kuwa in person as he usually just sends assignments with botan #yusuke has already seen him cos of the resurrection arc #and koenma is SUCH a fanboy ''kuwabara it's such a pleasure. you know you're my best worker 🥺'' #''um urameshi am i seeing things or is that a fuckin baby'' yusuke will NOT stop laughing #it fucks koenma up so bad he makes sure he's in his adult form when he's around kuwa next #cos he wants to be the respected boss but also guy that you can chill with!! he's so cringe #okay yeah i need to write this it's such a fun concept #kuwameshi #yu yu hakusho #kuwabara kazuma #yusuke urameshi #koenma

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

headcanon that scorpius was a sick child and was in and out of hospital constantly, perhaps related to astoria's blood curse but not directly. his immune system isnt very strong, and everytime he gets sick they're terrified that it's the blood curse but also whatever else it could be, because it's always so sudden and so intense and they call healers over to the house who recommend this delirious feverish 4 year old is hospitalised immediately, and you'd think it'd get easier to some extent because they'd be used to it, but everytime they feel like this is it, this is the time he'll walk in to the hospital and not walk out again

#this headcanon has no purpose im just thinking of scorpius in bed like a sickly victorian child with scarlet fever or something #asking if he'll make it to sunrise lmfao #so then he hates hospitals with a passion #my friend from school was in them constantly he was even a make a wish kid and he can not fucking stand the places so #headcanon scorpius becomes a healer anyway lmao #im sick and this is how im coping by putting baby scorp in hospital lmfao #it just made draco that little bit more protective #lucius made an insensitive comment about it once and draco was ready to throw hands #this headcanon doesnt really go anywhere ive just decided scorpius was a sick child #he has sick child energy lmfao #he still knows some of his doctors/healers because he was there so frequently #just imaging lil scorp in a hospital bed and draco and astoria are sleeping in the room on like uncomfortable chairs and the fever finally #breaks and hes like uh daddy im hungry and its like 4am but draco couldnt care less cause scorp hasnt been able to eat anything for days #let alone ask for food directly and baby scorp is wondering why his parents are acting so damn weird just cause he asked for some toast #but once hes grown up whenever he gets sick its on such a lower level than what it used to be when he was a kid because his immune system #got better that he struggles to gauge when other people would usually stop trying to do daily activities and albus has to start wrestling #scorpius back to bed instead of going to class cause scorpius really youre practically dying and hes like pfff you wanna see dying? use tha #timeturner one more time and go back to see me at literally any point between 2 and 10 i am FINE #(he absolutely was not fine) #scorpius malfoy #albus potter #draco malfoy #hpcc #scorbus #this is so many tags im so sorry

[arsenicflame]

the thing is, right, if izzy WAS evil i would still absolutely love him. hes a fictional character, i don't care about his morals if hes compelling.

but the frustrating thing is that hes not evil, hes not even the antagonist anymore by a long stretch, hes arguably more liked by the crew than ed at the moment, but people still insist that we are reading the text of the show wrong and its going to completely 180 and turn him into a cartoon villain when there is absolutely no sign of that in the show, from the cast and crew, anything!!!

its so ridiculously annoying that i feel i have to defend my stance on a character because some people are so determined to cast him into the roll of a villain he is not, and think that we are the wrong ones for simply reading what the show is putting out

#sorry to izcourse over here im jusy thinking #i think about izzys morality constantly because hes so interesting to me #i find him so compelling + its so frustrating to see people reduce him to this 1 dimensional villain when hes always been so interesting!!! #this is not my finest example of coherent thought but honestly i do not care to try and organise this into a proper argument #im fine w being incomprehensible. you get my point. #id still like him if he was evil but hes not and its frustrating to be told you shouldnt like him because hes the villain and mean to our #most precious innocent babies :( #you get the vibe. i love evil characters but izzy is not one of them #nyxtalks #ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #the izcourse #i have actually been thinking about like. what draws me to him. the desperation!!! its the desperation that tinges everything he does #idk its so boring if you make him evil like what. why would you do that when you could give him a real fucked up divorce

[winepresswrath]

I do gotta say tho, even tho I’m mad at aziraphale because he’s being a terrible boyfriend like what you said about the “I forgive you like” because WHAT. But also I really like the way the show really demonstrates the underlying cruelty of heaven and it’s angels. Really shows the hypocrisy of a group of beings who are supposed to do good, especially aziraphale who really buys into the heaven propaganda, who hurts people, particularly the person who means the most to him. Because like you said he fully just takes advantage of that devotion Crowley has for him. Insane, this shwo makes me INSANE

I missed this anon and yeah! The angels were one of my favourite parts of the season, and I think the strongest element aside from Neil Gaiman deciding he's just a simple man who wants to put his otp in situations. They are deeply awful and I kind of love them. They are the exact kind of moralizing hypocrites who are callous and cruel precisely because they think being on team good means everything they do is justified and it's actually impossible for them to be in the wrong (they're angels! is it even possible for them to do the wrong thing?).

but!! To me, they also seem like they're basically kids? Obviously they're not literally children, but there is this very consistent reoccurring joke about how childish/sheltered/immature they are. Muriel is the most obvious example, but the archangels come off like bratty twelve year olds to her sweet little kid.

Gabriel is basically teenager in love flipping off his family as he runs away with his backstreet guy. Uriel is constantly picking at Michael, Michael is playing at being in charge like it's a game, and it's ridiculously easy for both Aziraphale and Crowely to trick them obvious half assed lies. They're not allowed to ask questions! The Metatron treats them like badly behaved kids out past their curfew. At any point an old man with a beard may pop up to scold them and send them home, and they're all scared of doing something wrong by his standards and getting in trouble with this guy who is pointedly not God but who lines up exactly with the pop-culture idea of god the father, and who offers Aziraphale, among other things, a respite from the hard work of figuring out what the right thing to do is for himself. It's fine! You don't have to question the belief system you were born into or make a painful break with everything you've ever known! Aziraphale has had six thousand years on earth to grow up, but the other angels have been sitting in a sterile white box playing "i'm not touching you" games with each other and filing paperwork.

And I think that's extra interesting because this season also really emphasizes:

Heaven has Institutional Problems

Aziraphale isn't the only angel who's unhappy in heaven. Gabriel and Muriel were both completely miserable. They just didn't understand that they were unhappy because they'd never experienced anything else.

Angels who aren't Aziraphale can change and grow! There's very explicitly Gabriel being changed by love and Muriel growing up a bit on earth, and from a more fan-theory angle there's also Jimbriel, who I think is probably basically Gabriel minus the war and six thousand years of playing referee for Michael and Uriel while unleashing an assortment of plague and calamities on earth because that's God's will! Buck up champ.

We also get Gabriel and Beezelebub talking about how their underlings basically live for Armageddon, "if you can call that living." This is so bleak. They've all been on a six thousand year time out just dreaming of the day they get to beat the shit out of each other until they feel better, but it won't work because eternity is just more of the box.

Anyway I think it's going in a distinctly eden adjacent direction. Aziraphale is going to tempt those angels with knowledge and the capacity for change. I have veered so far from your ask anon i'm sorry you're right heaven really went all out on sucking this season & while Crowley and Aziraphale are both fucking it up Crowley refrains from being spectacularly cruel to Aziraphale about it and Aziraphale should learn to return the favour. I forgive you!! I forGIVE you. I forgive YOU. "you can be an angel again" is actually a worse thing to say than "you're a demon. i don't even like you." when he finally picks crowley over heaven i'm going to lose my mind.

#good omens spoilers #good omens season two spoilers #idk it makes me sad that i didn't like the humans very much this season because i think ideally they're central to this whole how to be #a person question i also hope we get to see more of hell next season because i do think they're stuck in basically the same place #with a different aesthetic! and the stick being #thrown into a torture pit instead of thrown into hell #or like. mindwiped and locked in an office for all eternity #gabriel broke my heart which is embarrassing but when he goes from not even understanding what music is to experiencing #the simple pleasure of sharing a song with someone for the very first time and almost immediately hits repeat for eternity... baby. baby bo #i would also like more crowley! this was very much the season of aziraphale #which is fine but i missed him yelling questions at god and the bits where it seemed he really wanted aziraphale's opinion instead of just #wanting aziraphale to develop better opinions #next season had better be crowley wrestles with the universe i am telling you!!! #remember three months ago when i was like eh... another good omens season #i bet it'll be cute but i'm content with my book #i don't go here i said strapping on my clown shoes #seriously though i do think crowley is scared to admit to wanting to be good both because god rejected him and he doesn't want #to be a sucker for her (he is only interested in being a sucker for aziraphale) #and like. chase after something he's barred from and has already been told isn't for him. #and that's why it's so hard for him to admit even to himself that he too would be unhappy ditching earth #in ways that parallel aziraphale's unwillingness to let go of heaven as a source of moral authority and goodness #but the way aziraphale goes oh no! i cannot trust my own judgement and desires. They are suspect! #my judgement is that crowley is good and also funny and sexy. my desires are for his company and also his body #therefore the source of these desires is also maybe bad. i mean he's a demon. he's got to be bad #right??? but no. but i saw him do a good thing. but maybe i didn't? I should probably take a stance on this. #and he makes this crowley's problem until the apocalypse but then the second he gets the chance to cram crowley and his feelings for him #back in a heaven approved box he jumps at it in a way that requires just being WILDLY insensitive and dismissive of crowley's feelings #he's not just being a dick about their relationship he is being a dick about crowley as a person. and he should know better but is choosing #not to because he wants the easy out so badly. anyway i love him he was my favourite character all season no notes #good omens

[bumblingbabooshka]

Mpreg Attack

#mpreg #Wacky VOY shenanigans happened & Neelix keeps trying to throw him a baby shower #I just know his maternity robes would be extra #Neelix: Mr. Vulcan you're glowing!!!! / Tuvok: -so sick he can't open his eyes- ............................. #B'Elanna tries to help him and he starts with a 'I've had four kids I think I know better than you what to-' thing so she's like 'Fine.' #<- He has to go back to her for help eventually v_v #unclear if he's trans or not in these images. Is it a Vulcan thing? Is he trans? Was he zapped by a ray? Did an alien do this? Who knows <3 #All we know for sure is that Sek is eating sand. Right now. Sek PLEASE stop eating sand I DON'T understand why you keep doing it. #PLEASE elucidate the matter. 'Want eat sand!!!' No. NO eating sand. Sek. Listen. Sek if you don't stop we're going home RIGHT now. [pause] #Fine. We are going home. 'NOOO!!!!' Yes. #st voyager #st voyager fanart #Tuvok #Tuvok is the only character I'm interested in seeing pregnant #and buddy? You can take that as you will #bea art tag #bc this is a masterpiece

[aidansplaguewind]

Petyr Baelish

Game of Thrones Season 1, Episode 7

"You Win or You Die"

#aidan gillen #petyr baelish #littlefinger #hot damn he's fine #theres a 🔥 down below that only his 🐓 can put out #have mercy #why yes i would have his babies thank you for asking #he deserves a BJ every day #and i volunteer as tribute #game of thrones #my gifs #mine

[arctic-bookclub]

not be invested in minecraft roleplay again but i can’t get over how no matter if q!quackity succeeds or fails in his goal of killing chayanne, he will lose in some way no matter what 😭

if he succesfully kills chayanne, tallulah will be sad or most likely hate or dislike him, she is Less protected than she was before (event though quackity’s goal is to protect her), phil Will hunt him down and wilbur will be upset over tallulah being sad, and potentially upset too over losing his brother and phil being upset

if he fails to kill chayanne, he’ll get his ass handed to him by a literal Baby AND his dads and like almost all the eggs on the server (not to mention y’know, failing by literally failing his goal)

there’s actually no winning for him here he couldn’t have chosen a worse egg to target while simultaneously trying to protect tallulah, it’s so funny

#qsmp #how do i even tag this #eh it’s fine who cares about being perceived i just wanted to ramble #i find it so funny #mans will face hell no matter what happens #i’m rooting for chayanne btw #also i find it absolutely comical that q!quackity is having beef with a literal baby #and he’s losing #anyway tallulah and chayanne are a duo do Not seperate #why am i so invested over pixelated eggs #ALSO the fact that chayanne cared so much about tilin and wanted to protect her #only for quackity to try and kill him in his grief striken revenge on the server #sick and twisted #chayanne loved tilin and this is how you repay him?!? #tilin would not approve

[chvoswxtch]

the defenders honestly should’ve been called “everybody fucking hates danny”

#it was eight episodes of them absolutely shitting on him #well maybe 7 cause they did kinda rescue him #they were basically like he’s a trust fund dipshit but he’s OUR trust fund dipshit ):< #danny rand you adorable idiot #luke cage you’re still fine as hell #jessica jones I am still in love with you #matty murdock you’re also a dipshit why would you do that #colleen baby you’re the real star #claire my love it’s so good to see you again #foggy and karen pls get your idiot duck and keep him on a leash #elektra natchios baby that was so sexy of you pls keep doing what you’re doing #am I prepared to watch s3 of daredevil again? #absolutely not #but the pain must go on or whatever that saying is #matt murdock #daredevil #luke cage #jessica jones #danny rand #iron fist #colleen wing #claire temple #elektra natchios #karen page #foggy nelson #the defenders #marvel

[lys-jeorge]

Anyone wanna know an inconsequential BTS thing I always found a bit sus and for some reason just popped back into my brain?

Yeh? ok

When they're asked who the best dancer is and they all say J-Hope, now the other 6 all agreeing on this? I'd be suprised but it's not inherently sus, the sus is J-Hope. What's your answer my guy? Even if he thinks it's himself usually they have a someone other than themself answer they'll use, you'd think even if he wanted to say himself he'd say probably Jimin, but someone else, him not doing that is so like...

when they were rookies they were told this is what their answer should be, and they've stuck with it ever since.

#bts #like you're gonna tell me none of JK Suga and RM prefer Jimin's dancing? I frankly don't think that's true #yes i'm calling them liars yes they lie about shit of course they do #bleh #but this isn't even like a proper lie #it's a #idk #this is what the answer is meant to be and it was always meant to be and we don't think about what that means anymore or if it is true or n #it's not an answer to the question #it's a programmed response yk #but even if they all do prefer j-hope which would be fair he is amazing #what's with him #what's his answer #why doesn't he answer #you can say yourself that's fine #like it's just so #there is no opinion happening #it is a programmed answer and for why #like when they were actual babies and establishing roles in the group maybe having a pre determined answer made sense #or was useful #probably could move past that #or stop asking it's fucking stupid question #like what's better dali or monet #idk my guy what are you into they're both technically incredible it's art what speaks to you #this isn't a question someone else can tell you the answer to in any meaningful way #so tl;dr #i think they were told to say that #and they just never thought about it again #probably don't even consider what their individual answer would be if they were gonna give it

[anywayhereskirkwall]

another fun thing about the romancable characters of bg3 is that nearly all of them would be the most annoying person alive if they ever had kids. they absolutely think their kid is better than your kid in every conceivable way and they are telling everyone. they would get into brawls at pta meetings and little league games. the only exceptions are wyll and halsin because they have the tact to not actually say it out loud.

#you know that post about how op's mom told them to tell their bully that their parents hated them and that's why they were getting divorced #that's shadowheart. #bg3 #em plays games #astarion has that baby in designer clothes and finely embroidered blankets from the second they’re born and would have an Instagram full of #intricate high concept photo shoots #lae’zel is collecting fancy knives and armor for them when they’re old enough (approximately 2 1/2 years old)

[alices-halcyon]

Lalo Salamanca busting through the ceiling of the travel wire is my sexuality.

Sorry not sorry.

#lalo salamanca #better call saul #travel wire #bust through that ceiling baby #hot shit #i would die for that man #no apologies #eduardo salamanca #tony dalton #THE WAY HE KEEPS HIS HEAD DOWN AND THEN STANDS UP SO STRAIGHT #if villain bad why hot #LALO WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO FINE

[whentherewerebicycles]

.

#please know that I vent my ungenerous feelings here in my public diary so I can just get them out and they don’t seep into my real life #my parents are randomly in town after being here like last month and that’s nice but I wasn’t sure why they were coming back so soon #the reason has revealed itself they are here to do daycare tours and go to an ultrasound appt with my brother & SIL to see the baby #I am both genuinely fine and also a horrid gremlin creature seething with toxic jealousy and petty rage #like being ‘fine’ is the stronger feeling and of course I would not want my brother to not get to share these experiences with my parents #it’s their first grandkid #but also I would I think gladly punch through a wall #I just seethe with jealousy I feel like a horribly misshapen deep sea creature with too many gills and razors for teeth #seething on the pitch-black seafloor #god the last three months have just been like #so much crying and specifically the type of crying where you’re like #I must violently expel these bottled-up feelings somehow or my ribcage will burst #and also lots of feeling like a grotesquely deformed deep sea monster #rotting from the inside out with the ugliest feelings imaginable #only 1/10th of which I express here lol I’m having a fascinating time discovering how horrible & putrid my jealousy can be #and then it passes you know it always passes. but yeah. #IUI tag

[redpiperfox]

But mainly, and really:

#red's week in music #STORYTIME WITH RED GATHER ROUND KIDDOS! #was at kids club tonight and went in knowing little 8 year olds mom had her baby this morning and lil girl was now big sis if two #and knew she hadnt come from home bc her hair was a mess of someone who didnt know curls trying to do it lol #shes generally emotional and dramatic but we can all see that shes a lil more so tonight. understandably. lotsa change #well she kinda hinges on this one thing of not getting the verses said to earn a jewel bc she wasnt able to say them-- totally fine! we'll #practice and get them later! but shes distraught bc she worked on them with mum and wont get jewel so i keep telling her when we'll work on #them together and when ill listen to her and we can get it done. cool. then lesson time shes up and down sniffly and the lesson says smth #about childbirth-- bursts into disarray. i ask her if she wants to step out and we blow her nose and she keeps talking about the verse so i #tell her solutions for that and then shes working herself up so i work thru calming down and she goes from #“i think im mad” to “mom would let me do what i want!” and i know the real issue isnt the verse but thats what shes telling me so... #adult shes staying with cautiously steps in and she calms down to tell me “its not the verse... i think i miss my mom” #oh my heart i know honey i give her a hug and we talk about the sleeover shes going to have and when shes going to see mom #and shes sleeping next to lil sis so shes going to give sis a big hug and tell her theyre going to see mom in the morning #and then i ask her if she wants to go back and she does and i just hold her and hug her the whole time #i give her another squeeze when she leaves and tell her to enjoy her sleepover #her friend shes staying with i should not did a very sweet of coming over and saying “hey lookit this new book i got do you wanna color it #with me maybe?“ which was such an emotionally mature thing for her and to see lil kiddo cheer up warmed me #teachers we debriefed and talked about kids going thru stuff at home and not being able to tell and process their emotions and stuff #and then i shared with mum on the ride back and she goes “yup. lil toddler will just miss mom-- its trauma at this age. this is why i #panicked and called my mother to come for your sis's birth bc dad said he could handle you but my heart couldnt for what you would go thru.“ #i was six when my sister was born. my grandma being there before consistently made me giddly excited in that time waiting for dad to bring #us to the hospital. #anyway my heart was full and im praying extra hard for two lil girls in a sleepover missing their mom tonight. #red's personal sitcom #Spotify

[crimsongrimoire]

hi ive been sick so of course that means ive been thinking about kaeya being sick and sooo pathetic about it again

#crow.txt #kaeluc #genshin #snippets #fluff #slowly chipping away at this even more. Ugh #tbh the bulk of this was written like. last night and just now. i was letting the thoughts microwave with my weird intermittent fever #literally got two vaccines at once and got attacked by a secret third thing (the common cold for the first time in like 4 years) #it was somehow the best week i couldve picked to just COMPLETELY miss work apparently so its fine i guess #sidebote dont try to do taxes while sick. i didnt end up completing them but it was funny i even thought i was capable #is this comprehensivle is this legible idk i just want to make kaeya be miserable and forced to let someone take care of him abt it #that is soup for Me. in my Soul. #kaeya be like 'wtf treating me like a little kid' when he said he wanted to be taken care of in the summer event like 2 yrs ago #other people may have forgotten but i have Not i will Never. this man will complain about having adult responsibilities #and then when someone tries to take care of him or do things for him out of kindness hes like HAHA WAIT NOW HOLD ON- #little fool make up your mind. why are you so everything always #kaeya be like relying on someone for something under no guise of professional matters? in MY life? i dont think so #(diluc jean lisa and rosaria will remember this (and not let him get away with it)) #and klee too but like shes little baby she doesnt even understand any of this and he would feel extremely mean rejecting kindness from #a little kid. so sometimes she brings him her funny little toast for breakfast and he says awwww thank you :)