#writers bloc

[qupritsuvwix]

#writers bloc #dead journalists

[scriptwriters-network]

Creative Writing Challenge – October

This MONTHLY challenge is for those who want to work on writing new ideas and who would like to maintain a continuous creativity flow with your writing.

Find out more here.

#creative writing #creative challenge #screenwriting #amwriting #writing #writer #scriptchat #scriptwriting workshop #scriptwriting #screenwritiers networ #screenwriter #screenwriting industry #writers craft #writers bloc #writers programs #writer program #writers life #scriptwriters classes #writers of tumblr #scriptwriters network #screenwriters network

[flowerpotmage]

howdy howdy, my brain isn't letting me read much right now but I wanted to let you know I think about TGBD almost daily and am so so ready to get caught up, I love what you're doing in universe 🥺💕

sending you love and light and a kiss on the noggin 🫶

AAAA thank you so much 🥺😭 that's so wild for me to hear that someone thinks about it so much, bc it's active in some corner of my brain at all times and i never thought other ppl would like it so much 😭

Take all the time you need!! Sometimes the brain needs a rest from certain things. I was in a no-reading zone for quite some time too, so i know the feeling

#answered asks #aaaa i rly hope u like the larts u havent read yet too #idk how much u have to catch up on but full disclaimer that a couple recent ones feel wonky to me just bc i was recovering from writers bloc #BUT #i rly like ch 9 and i rly like what i have so far of ch 10 #so i hope u do toooo

[radioprune]

star wars fans are so weak if i had written anything half as mushy about hawkeye as i did about ahsoka this morning i would already have like half a dozen comments threatening to kill me

#this isn't anything besides me being thankful for the strange and wonderful mash fic writers bloc that formed during hot mash summer #that also spoiled me for engagement

[jellybel]

Me, with no idea what to post:

#help i have writer bloc #rise of the tmnt #unpause rottmnt #im suffering

[tommyomarketing]

Suffering From Creators Block Then Do This

#youtube #creators bloc #writers block #content creation

[lenapalmdeath]

Masters Of Make Believe - Chapter 18

Steve and Bucky drama

or Look, it got pretty angsty at this point

Bucky was now shouting uncontrollably. Steve realized that things had gotten way out of hand, and tried to regain control.

"Listen, let's calm down, I don't think yelling at each other like that is going to help," he tried, lowering his voice.

But Bucky couldn't hear him anymore, and carried on with a hoarse voice.

"Come on, Rogers, go all the way with it! So you finally realized you're not gonna save me either, and that your pretty plaything's just too damaged to be fun anymore? You don't need to use Parker and his tantrums to make your point. If you're tired of playing nurse, then just tell me so I can move on!"

Steve took his rant like a punch to the gut. How did they get there when all he wanted when he entered the room was to curl up against Bucky and feel nothing but his embrace. He felt so damn empty right now.

"I hope you don't actually think that of me. Or else I've got it all wrong," he managed to articulate in a breath.

Steve left without even looking back, storming down the stairs. Clint and Natasha tried to intercept him as he went passed them. They must have heard the shouting match. Sharon looked at him over her computer screen, mouth wide open. He headed for the exit, ignoring the calls of the two musicians.

When he arrived at the gate, he realized he had nowhere to go. He was stuck here, without a way out, and the absurdity of it all hit him hard. All because of one person he couldn't take down. How many more lives was Brock going to turn into hell before it stopped? He hit the gate with all his might, and the pain that radiated through his hand finally brought him some relief. He did it again, and again, until arms wrapped around him, forcing him to stop. He looked at the blood dripping from between his fingers, and clenched his fist. Pain was the only thing that kept him from screaming.

"This modern love breaks me This modern love wastes me"

#angsty stucky #this modern love #breaks me #ao3 #stucky #steve and bucky #ao3 writer #archive of our own #alternate universe #bodyguard au #rockstars au #fanfiction #one day one chapter #bloc party #mastersofmakebelieve

[burn-throughout-eternity]

The Hugo Awards nominating statistics don't add up

tl;dr Along with works arbitrarily being deemed ineligible for the Hugo Awards the underlying numbers for the nominating data don't add up. The nominating statistics are junk.

Yesterday the Hugo nominating statistics for 2023 were released. Initial discussion focused on several nominees including R.F. Kuang's Babel being deemed ineligible for seemingly no reason.

After people started looking at the actual statistics a number of oddities were apparent. Heather Rose Jones has released a blog post with some graphs neatly illustrating this.

She suggests a number of hypothesis for what's going on: bloc voting, certain nominees below the cut-off being omitted or the one I now think must be true "The math is bogus. That is, the reported nomination statistics include large numbers of nominations attributed to the "top group" that do not arise from an actual nomination process."

In a previous post I discussed Peter Wilkinson's comment that showed that there are mathematical impossibilities in the statistics:

As (I think) a quite separate final remark for now, I think I have found a small mathematical impossibility in the Best Novel nomination statistics as given. Because of the way EPH works, every valid ballot gets counted in the first round of an EPH count, but ballots get eliminated as and when the last nominee on the ballot gets eliminated. It is therefore quite impressive that, of the 1,637 ballots received for Best Novel, 1,652 remained after all but the final 15 candidates had been eliminated.

To elaborate on this each nominators is given a single point divided equally between the works they nominate. In the first round the number of points equals the number of nominators.

In subsequent rounds if a work is eliminated the point is redistributed between the nominators remaining nominees. If no nominees remain it isn't redistributed. In essence the number of points represents the number of nominators who have nominees remaining on the ballot.

The number of points should never be higher than the number of nominators.

The only explanation I can see is that the statistics are made up.

Following on from Peter Wilkinson's comment Marshall Ryan Maresca ran the numbers for all categories:

His results match the ones I have previously checked. I posted about novel and fanwriter in the previous linked post and had checked novella as well.

I've now checked the other two categories where he showed the result is over 100% and my numbers add up to the same as what he has shown.

I've posted my workings below for reference.

First lets look at best novel which had 1637 nominating ballots:

My calculation matches what Peter and Marshall found.

Best novella had 1393 ballots:

This again matches Marshall's result and is the only category I checked where the points sum to less than 100% of the ballots.

Best short story has 1500 ballots but 1568.96 nominating points, again matching Marshall's results:

Best fan writer which I discussed yesterday has the largest relative difference with only 241 people nominating but 364.01 nominating points (again matching Marshall's results).

Finally let's look at the Lodestar which had 280 nominating ballots:

Again my result matches what Marshall found.

Heather Rose Jones has illustrated why the nominating statistics are anomalous. Peter Wilkinson showed that the numbers for best novel reflected a mathematically impossibility.

Yesterday after seeing Wilkinson's comment I ran the numbers and got the same result and found the even larger discrepancy in the fan writer category.

Marshall Ryan Maresca separately saw Peter Wilkinson’s comment and went through the categories much more systematically and has shown several are unusually high and that four have impossible numbers based on the reported number of ballots.

I've double checked the categories where Marshall demonstrated that there were over 100% of votes being reported and got the same results.

I do not see how the above is possible without extra votes being added to the totals. The math doesn't add up.

#hugo awards #cut for length

[allforhee]

*ੈ✩ — 𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐀 𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐒! (TEASER) | LEE HEESEUNG

୨୧ pairing — secgen!lee heeseung x journalist!fem!reader

synopsis: decelis high's academic weapon, future valedictorian, model un prodigy especially in the crisis council, and top-notch secretary-general of the mun club, lee heeseung has it all. from earning constant "best delegate-s" left and right, no one dared to go against his stances in any debate. until a student like you transfers into decelis high. as a soon graduating senior, you were a newbie to press. but with your endless love for writing, you'd managed to steal the hearts of your peers. it was your first mun, and you didn't expect much. but when heeseung finds out about an article you've wrote about his arrogant performance in a recent committee session, he is set to strike you down.

୨୧ genre — high school au, secgen!heeseung x press delegate!reader, academic rivals to lovers, dumbasses in denial, rivals in public but lovers in secret

୨୧ warnings — a lot of model un terms, cursing, hurt no comfort, heeseung makes fun of the reader a LOT, reader is feisty and could care less but she lowkey has parental issues, featuring all the other enhypen members, huh yunjin, and jang wonyoung

୨୧ word count — tbd

୨୧ release date — tba

୨୧ author's note — my baby! i love muns and as a press girlie myself, i had to make an mun-themed fic for my boy. mind you that i don't really understand the ACTUAL muns (unsc, who, etc.) cause i highkey don't want to get involved i just like writing!! this teaser is kind of short and sweet cause i know that the actual fic will be LONGER! so excited for you guys to read my works and what my imagination has to offer!!!!!!! enjoy this lil teaser. press 4 fanfic writers arise!

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆 had it all.

the walls of his room were littered with delegate lanyards from conferences across the globe, "best delegate" certificates framed all over his house (and a couple crumpled up inside his desk to fit the space), and a collection of trophies that stood in every nook and cranny.

no one at decelis high dared to go against him. whenever it was, whether it was moderated caucus or unmoderated, he'd always have his country or character's placard raised high, ready to speak, or leading whatever bloc was being formed.

it was no doubt that no one has ever beat him. it was no doubt that he was decelis high's mun club's secretary-general. and those who chose to go against him either get crushed in fear or knew when to step back.

even with his "best delegate" status, he wouldn't have gone far without his best mates, park jongseong, sim jaeyun, and park sunghoon.

park jongseong or jay, most known for his cold stares in the debate room, ready to make a delegate tremble, would always chair crisis. he was decelis high's deputy secretary-general alongside heeseung. and although being heeseung's best mate, he never favored him when it came to awarding. it's just that he was naturally talented.

sim jaeyun, known for his popular slogan around the school; "jake it till you make it!", was the strongest when it came to knowing what a country or character believed in. his research skills were like a pirate on the hunt for lost treasure, he had all the facts, the data, and the proof to back up any stance. whatever heeseung needed to know, jake already had his back.

and park sunghoon. even though he was the quiet one of the bunch, his position papers never ceased to appeal any chair. even if he wasn't as strong in speaking out during committee sessions, his fingers were his weapon. the guys would always ask him why'd he chair press and not join in the heat with them, he'd always answer with a simple, "my words are stronger than my actions." where jay would always respond with "isn't that the other way around bud?"

the four were unstoppable when it came to model un. lee heeseung was unstoppable. he was. until you came along.

back to my masterlist?

© 𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐇𝐄𝐄, est. 2024 | do not plagiarize, modify, translate, or repost my works on any platforms.

#allforhee #allforhee-writes #enhypen #enhypen x reader #lee heeseung x reader #lee heeseung #enhypen angst #enhypen imagines #lee heeseung imagines #lee heeseung fic #enhypen fic #heeseung x reader #heeseung fluff #heeseung angst #enhypen fanfiction #lee heeseung au #enhypen oneshots #lee heeseung oneshots #lee heeseung oneshot #enha x reader #enha oneshots #enha imagines #enha fluff #enha fics

[bandofchimeras]

need like water to be around other trans men, who have really embraced trans-masculinity, the role we have. other transsexual writers and archivists and caregivers and political artists and medicinal knowledge keepers, especially Jewish trans men, there's a huge hole in my heart and living near you with you and caring for each other. other gay trans masc ravers and musicians and BDSM practitioners . the discipline and scholarship and community orientation. Lou Sullivan guide us. the queer community is large and beautiful and I love so many different people in it but trans men, I need to be around your spirit. I love you. I need to love myself and see myself not as a failed cis man but as this wonderful creation, this adam, this regeneration of what masculinity can be. I want to be doing mask blocs and T-shirt shops and art collectives with you. I want to be fighting alongside you on the streets. I want to dance and roll and trip with you I want to tattoo eachothers bodies and stretch our arms above our heads and smell eachother and give and recieve leather and books and laughter and food and wisdom. I want to be funky and hot and lovable together. I want what the world has withheld. I want to taste the goodness of our strength and our calm and our protection and our humor and our creativity.

#its not bpd actually im feeling genuine longing for my community #lou sullivan #emotions that hurt to write

[wilwheaton]

“I remember reading in, what, 2014 or 2015, about these people who were trying to game the Hugos, and didn’t seem to like what science fiction had become. I thought they were people with a chip on their shoulder who probably weren’t good enough writers to win awards without doing something like this. If you want to be a good writer you have to put in the work, and these seemed like people who had chosen to be aggrieved rather than do the work. They wanted to win, and for foreign books and women to become much less prominent. The people who seemed to be shepherding the majority of the ’Puppies’ around wanted Hugo awards, and it was easier to get a bunch of people to pay for supporting memberships and vote for them than it was to write stories good enough to win them.”

Neil Gaiman on the Sad Puppies from a few years ago

Intro to the “Sad Puppies”:

The Hugo Awards, which have celebrated pioneering works of science fiction since 1953, have traditionally — and undoubtedly still are — the highlight of the science fiction calendar, but for a small group of agenda-driven agitators, they represent nothing more than an avenue through which all-too progressive views are disseminated and applauded. There is a particular fringe that laments the apparent "wokeness" of the Hugos, and claims that accolades are not handed out on the basis of quality, but on how politically correct the writing.

This mindset came to prominence most notably in 2013 with the emergence of Sad Puppies, an anti-Hugo faction of writers and fans bent on venting their award-related frustrations.

Sad Puppies felt — emotionally rather than evidentially — that certain demographics — namely straight, right-leaning white males — were being overlooked so that the Hugos could elevate diverse, historically underrepresented voices. This, Sad Puppies seemed to imply, was the only possible reason why certain authors weren’t being given the praise they deserved on the award circuit.

Between 2013 and 2017, Sad Puppies attempted to influence, through the use of a tactical voting bloc, the outcome of various Hugo Awards categories.

“The people who seemed to be shepherding the majority of the ’Puppies’ around wanted Hugo awards, and it was easier to get a bunch of people to pay for supporting memberships and vote for them than it was to write stories good enough to win them.”

MortalKombatFATALITY.gif

#Neil destroyed those shitty racists so completely they didn't even leave dental records

[fellow-traveller]

So I just bought the latest JoJo magazine. Haven't read it thoroughly yet but there's a lot of stuff on Part 3-6 which is kinda cool. But I'm kinda reminded from the book that Polnareff was born in 1964. Should he be alive in 2024, he'd be 60 years old.

But it makes me wonder how old Hol Horse actually is.

He never had an official birth year, like the main characters in SDC, so we can only assume by his background, which, unfortunately, we don't have that either.

(whatever past this point is just what I got from a few hours of reading, so apologies dear curators of history and translators of CDDH if they are not accurate...)

While I haven't finished the Crazy Heartbreakers novel yet, I'm just gonna use that as the basis for Hol Horse's background, canon or not. So we go with the fan translation that Hol Horse originated from an "Eastern European country that had ceased to exist in 1999". Meaning, he was most likely born in Czechslovakia, Yugoslavia or East Germany of the Eastern Bloc, between 1950-1970.

What's interesting about these three no-longer-existed nations is that they were famous for Osterns i.e. Eastern European Western cowboy films. Osterns that were exact replicas of Spaghetti Westerns most likely started with Yugoslavia's Winnetou (1963), and Czechslovakia's Lemonade Joe (1964). Additionally, two famous non-Soviet cowboy films that were allowed screening in the Eastern Bloc were Magnificient Seven (1960) and Gold (1969). I'm omitting East Germany cowboy films at this point since most of them tell the Western stories from the Red Indian's perspective.

So it's safe to say that Hol Horse, who stole time to watch a cowboy film in the cinema that inspired his cowboy persona, must have been a child between 1960 and 1969. Assuming that movies at that time had no age ratings, and that age 4 is the average minimum for one to be allowed to enter a cinema, Hol Horse could have been born anytime between 1956 and 1965.

Taking the samples of the famous Osterns and Westerns listed that tell a tale of a skilled gunslinger in a typical spaghetti cowboy setting who became an unexpected hero and saved the fair maiden by the end of the film, only one truly stood out: Lemonade Joe.

Lemonade Joe is a satirical cowboy film that tells the story of a lone cowboy and skilled gunslinger named Lemonade Joe, who loves a non-alcoholic soda called Kolaloka (sounds almost like Locacaca, doesn't it?). Using his gunfighting skills, he convinced a town to embrace the soda and stop consuming alcohol, while also courting the daughter of a missionary.

What I found most interesting is that another name for this film is "The Horse Opera."

Now, I don't know if Araki or Kadono (the writer of CDDH) ever found inspiration from this film. This is purely on the assumption that our beloved Hol is just a goofy yet capable cowboy that suits the satire genre so well.

So! Assuming that this was probably one of the many films that inspired our Hol to be the cowboy he was meant to be (and also inspired his Stand), since Lemonade Joe was screened in 1964, we can then assume that Hol most likely was born in 1960. Which makes him the same age as Avdol. And also makes him at the ripe age of 39 during the CDDH's run.

He's definitely old. But still the best cowboy in JoJo ♥

#jjba #meta i guess #hol horse #musings #i wished there's more to hol horse so i don't have to get myself a lesson on soviet cowboy films with names i couldn't pronounce

[areyoudreaminof]

King Under Your Control-An Azris Playlist

It's the final entry to the ACOTAR Playlist Project? Can you believe?!

I wanted to finish with a bang. Azris, the crackship to end them all. I'm also of the opinion that Azris has some of the best writers in this fandom, and this playlist is for them. This tracklist was inspired by all of the art and fics I've been blown away by. @iftheshoef1tz, @ofduskanddreams, @secret-third-thing, and @krem-does-stuff specifically. But there are too many to name.

LISTEN HERE and take a look at the tracklist behind the cut!

King-Years & Years

I was a king under your control And, oh, oh, oh I wanna feel like you've let me go, so let me go Don't you remember how I used to like Being on the line? I dreamed you dreamed of me calling out my name Is it worth the price?

Zephyrus-Bloc Party

And all you said in your quietest voice Was "I needed you as much as they do" And all you said in your quietest voice Was "I needed you as much as they do" How fast must we run before we can just take off in flight? How far must we run before they do not recognise us? So let's take this from the start, you'll be me and I'll be you

Casanova-Allie X & VERITE

I'm here lying on the bed of your tongue My heart listens to the sound of your war drum Steady tiptoeing to your neck of the woods I feel danger on your lips but it tastes good

Sex and Violence-Scissor Sisters

Everytime I spend myself it never runs too low Woah, woah, woah I can't escape my need for

Sex and violence Never let you see them hand in hand One is with the other The softest touches deeper than the ocean Give it to me faster, feel it, feel it

NEW MAGIC WAND-Tyler the Creator

Ayo, take one look in the mirror, implications so clear I live life with no fear, except for the idea That one day you won't be here I will not fetch the ball Eyes are green, I eat my vegetables

Ties-Years & Years

And you're a dancer, well, I'm a spy It's so beautiful to see you lie Are you having fun? Then give it up, you don't need that stress You're still hungry for another test Are you having fun?

Under the Sheets-Ellie Goulding

We're under the sheets and you're killin' me In our house made of paper, your words all over me We're under the sheets and you're killin' me Like all the boys before

Bad Habit-Foals

'Cause if I go Where the flowers grow Into the deep below Oh, would you forget me now? And if I could Make the days okay Wash the stains away Oh, would you forget me now?

Pink + White

That's the way every day goes Every time we've no control If the sky is pink and white If the ground is black and yellow It's the same way you showed me Nod my head, don't close my eyes Halfway on a slow move It's the same way you showed me If you could fly, then you'd feel south Up north's getting cold soon The way it is, we're on land Still, I'm someone to hold true Keep you cool when it's still alive Won't let you down when it's all ruin

Sweet Dreams-Angel Olsen

Every time I take a breath Something once living inside me has left Yes, it's alive but it's just passed through It's just left me and it's just left you On your own

Only He Can Heal Me-Bloc Party

When the trappings of the body Lead me to that hopeless place And I feel my spirit crumble Under strain and under guilt Lay me down in rivers cleansing Where the tall grass grows and grows And let me wait until My saviour comes home

In My Room-Frank Ocean

Got this lust for life in me, yeah Horny for the game, uh First they kiss, then they bite soft, uh Then that bitch wanna play it off, huh Fuck it, I'm pretty still in a pit of snakes While serpents shake some brand new scales I need a new face, I'm tired of these weirdos

Wolf Like Me-TV on the Radio

Dream me, oh, dreamer, down to the floor Open my hands and let them weave onto yours Feel me, completer, down to my core Open my heart and let it bleed onto yours Feeding on fever, down on all fours Show you what all the howling is for

Genghis Khan-Miike Snow

I know there's no form And no labels to put on To this thing we keep And dip into when we need And I don't have the right To ask where you go at night But the waves hit my head To think someone's in your bed

Magnets-Disclosure

Dancing past the point of no return Let go, we can free ourselves of all we've learned I love this secret language that we're speakin' Say it to me, let's embrace the point of no return

I’m Done with the World (& It’s Done with Me)-Foals

The fox is dead in the garden The hedges are on fire in the country lanes And all I want to do is get out of the rain An autumn day, an autumn day My daughter's asleep in the garden The leaves are on fire in the country lanes And all I want to do is get out of the rain On an autumn day, on an autumn day I’m done with the world and it’s done with me All I wanna do is get up and leave Sun falls into the garden I’m on my knees

TAGLIST: @iftheshoef1tz @ofduskanddreams @krem-does-stuff @secret-third-thing @queercontrarian @born-to-riot @yanny-77 @acourtofladydeath @witch-and-her-witcher @fieldofdaisiies @chunkypossum @thelovelymadone @velidewrites @octobers-veryown @asnowfern

#azris #acotar playlist project #last one baby #Spotify

[maelysgriffonne]

Okay I finish this is, it took a bit of time since I have work to do but I'm really happy on how it turn out.

This is the design for @botankirishima Writer Anchor au, I decided to keep Luffy's normal look but I give him a bag were there is everything he need (bloc-notes, sketchbook, pen etc...) and he always have some bugs on him (I choose a monarch butterfly since there the most commun one, a beetle since luffy loves theme, a little spider because it's cute and a lunar moth since it's my favorite type of moth)

I hope you like him Botan because I do :)

#one piece #monkey d luffy #monkey d. luffy #luffy #writer anchor au #i love lunar moth okay there just so cute #i also find the idea of a little spider dangling from his hat so cute

[arachne4]

wakey wakey arent u supposed to have request yu uh, probably will post now hmmmm? what about that one with wesker and kidnapped reader-in-the-house hmmmm?

Writer.... writer bloc... can't can't do it man

JK jk it is being worked on, just been very busy as of late but yes it is being worked on, that and a Chris request. The next thing I'm posting will be the Yan Wesker thing though so hooray 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

#resident evil #albert wesker #albert wesker x reader

[tropes-and-tales]

Love-Struck

December 17:  Cookies/Mug - Love at first sight (Horacio Carrillo x F!reader)

(From the winter prompts found here)

CW:  Talk of injuries (nothing graphic); the writer’s own thoughts on instant coffee; nothing but typos

Word Count:  1216

AN:  There is a sequel here!

AN2:  Requested by anon!

Colonel Horacio Carrillo has been shot before.  Given his history of service with the Republic of Colombia and his latest role as the head of the Search Bloc, it’s not surprising.

He’s been shot before—twice, in fact—so he knows how it feels.  

The first bullet that found him hit his bulletproof vest, but the shot still hurt.  Took his breath away so sudden and fierce that for the span of several long seconds, he thought he’d never pull in air again.  And then the afterwards, the dark bruise that sprawled across his chest and made every move and breath a painful reminder of how close he came to dying.

The second bullet that found him hit his leg.  A clean shot, in and out, nothing major struck.  That had been a searing pain, a line of fire that streaked through the meat of his thigh.  Then the sizzle of the disinfectant at the clinic, the bee-stings of the needle as the nurse stitched him shut.  The recovery from that wound had been awful—the stretch and pull of each step as the stitches strained, the maddening itchiness as it healed.

If anyone ever told him that love at first sight felt like a combination of those two wounds, he wouldn’t have even deigned to respond.  A ridiculous concept, love at first sight.

Carrillo and his ex-wife hadn’t had love at first sight, not on either side of the equation.  It had been a mutually beneficial partnership with a fair amount of attraction that ceded to affection, which was a version of love, he supposed.  But it hadn’t been love at first sight for either of them.  

They’d been introduced by mutual friends, and mutual friends had sold them to each other.  

Horacio, the friends told Juliana, is a rising star in the government.  A good man with good principles.

Juliana, the friends told Horacio, is a steady woman who will help her husband succeed.  The sort of woman who can handle late nights, government glad-handing parties for very little recognition.

It had been a solid marriage until it wasn’t, and now Carrillo is alone again and even less convinced about the existence of love, let alone instant love, love at first sight.

Until he gets shot again.

It’s a stupid sentiment, but Carrillo will never be able to come up with a better analogy for the first moment he lays eyes on you.  It’s like getting shot.  It’s like all of those Valentine’s Day decorations always portrayed, like a fat, naked cherub fixed him in his sights and shot him square in the heart with his arrow.  

It feels just like getting shot.  The sudden, fierce loss of breath.  The searing line of pain.  The panicky way his heartbeat quickens, jumping against his sternum at the sudden danger.

Because that’s what it feels like—danger.  Something unknown and unexpected found him the moment his eyes land on you.

*****

It’s sweet of the guys to throw you a welcome party, though the more cynical part of you thinks it’s just an excuse to spring for better refreshments than the usual fare.  Actual good coffee, a tray of sugar cookies.  A real bacchanal.

You’ve worked with the DEA in enough countries to know that the U.S. government never springs for good coffee, even in a place like Colombia that is literally known for good coffee.  You figure that Maxwell House has a defense contract to supply the freeze-dried shit to people out in the field.

“Let me introduce you to some of the people you’ll be working with,” Murphy says, and he leads you around the room.  You clutch your mug of coffee and your napkin with a half-eaten sugar cookie and awkwardly juggle them as you shake hands with DEA and Search Bloc alike.  

You meet the women who listen to the spools of tape, the soldiers you’ll be working with.  You shake hands with Trujillo, who welcomes you to Colombia, asks where you’ve been before now.

“Oh, everywhere,” you reply.  “I did a spell in Panama, but I just got back from Johannesburg.  Short assignment there.”

Murphy stands beside you, listening, then jerks his head towards the other side of the room.

“C’mon.  You gotta meet the Colonel.”

You let your fellow agent lead you across the room, fumbling with your hands full of food and drink but awkwardly unsure where to put it down.  You look at the man Murphy takes you to:  broad-shouldered, dark hair short and neatly parted.  Dark eyes, serious face.

“Colonel, this is our newest agent,” Murphy says.  He turns to you and adds, “this is Colonel Carrillo, head of the Search Bloc.”

“I’ve heard the name, yes.”  You carefully balance the napkin with its half-eaten cookie across the top of your mug, then hold your hand out to the Colonel.

He seems…pissed.  He grumbles out his name, but he takes your hand gingerly in his own, gives you the weakest handshake you’ve ever had.  Which is strange—in your experience, these international partners always want to crush your hand as a show of strength.  Because you’re an American and a woman.  Two strikes in many of their books.

Then he releases your hand, and you see the way he drops it to his side, fingers spasming.  Like his first instinct is to wipe his hand against his thigh, your touch offensive to him, but good manners hold him back.

And then there’s an awkward beat of silence—no small talk from him, and Murphy seems cowed into silence too—so you finally nod and say something about looking forward to working with him, and then you turn away to find somewhere to toss out your trash.

“Sorry,” Murphy murmurs near your ear as you walk away.  “He’s a tough one, but he’s usually more polite.”

“It’s fine.”

“He works well with Javi and me.”

You glance at him.  “Probably because you’re men.”

“I’ll talk to—”

You find a bin, toss your sugar cookie away.  “It’s fine, really.  Not the first tough case I’ve worked with.  Just that much more incentive to catch Escobar and get out of the Colonel’s way, right?”

Murphy smiles.  “That’s a good way to think of it.”

You glance back at the Colonel, and you’re surprised to see him staring at you.  Intently, like he’s trying to figure out how you’ll irritate him.  How you’ll mess things up.  You’ve dealt with it before:  Americans have a reputation, and in your experience, men all over the world have less-than-charming ideas about women…

You turn back to Murphy.  “He’s glaring at me.”

“He gets better.  I promise.  He just needs a little time to get used to you.”

Another glance over your shoulder, another view of him staring at you.

“I don’t know if I want him to get used to me.  Doesn’t he play rough?  Let’s catch Pablo, like, tomorrow, okay?”

Murphy chuckles, jerks his thumb to where Peña is standing and chatting with another embassy worker.

“Let’s get you to friendlier waters for now, at least,” he says, and you let him lead you over to your other new partner, though your mind spins at the months ahead of you—working with the Colonel, waiting for him to get used to you.

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