#writing first responders

[poppy5991]

Just like your regular dreams and nightmares, PTSD nightmares are not going to be a straightforward recollection of events. It’s going to be fragments of what your brain is trying to process while you’re asleep.

#should I do a series of these about accurately writing PTSD? idk #one very bad example is Owen’s nightmares in Grey’s Anatomy and how he reacts #writing #writing ptsd #writing trauma #writing first responders #ptsd #first responders #mash #writing tropes

[jomeimei421]

Felt a bit nostalgic watching RT shut down…Here are the og faves again for old times sake 💙

#rvb #agent washington #agent Carolina #lavernius tucker #michael j caboose #epsilon #my art rvb #ahhh a lot of feelings…of course I stepped away from rt as a company a long time ago #but RvB is special to me!! it was my first fandom experience ever #and the community here on tumblr specifically was so instrumental to me growing up #I really could not have asked for a better community of artists and writers to grow up in. I know it sounds like platitudes when I say #that everyone was super nice and talented but REALLY. People were so kind to me and somehow I became well known despite #my art and writing and me in general still being immature and hashtag cringe #I found my creative legs and #people would respond to my stuff with walls and walls of support in the tags and we would do exchanges and events every year #I made my first lyric comic and it’s still doing extremely well on YouTube even today!! my dad who passed away recently always loved it #and my favorite RvB writer came out of hibernation to write me a bunch of text wall asks about it #I’ve never had another fandom experience quite like RvB #I still keep in touch with many of my friends from that time period even though we’ve all moved on the other things #these guys will always always have a place in my heart #so long reds and blues….

[nburkhardt]

Wrote most of this while high, so it’s a silly thing! 🥰

Face flushed and mind on pause, heart beating fast. Eddie’s eyes are a little wide, watches as Steve smiles before falling back on his side of the couch. There’s giggling as he brings his hand to his mouth to muffle it, it’s a losing battle though.

It’s like all the sound around him is gone and only Steve’s giggle is all he can hear as his mind finally reboots, Eddie shakes his head before focusing his eyes back on the other boy. Steve’s still giggling, hand finally away from his mouth and there’s a twinkle in his eyes.

“Did you- did you really just say boop and proceeded to boop my nose?” Eddie finally finds his voice again, finger touching his nose.

Steve nods, giggle starting to fade and all that’s left is a smile. “Yeah, what about it?”

Opening his mouth and then closing it, Eddie just shakes his head, leaning back on the couch. He just looks at Steve.

Maybe it’s the weed, maybe high-Steve is a silly giggly type. Has a thought and immediately does it, kind of person. It’s gotta be that, but he still asks; “Why?”

Steve shifts to sit up, smile still in place. His hand moves and wraps around Eddie’s wrist.

“Got a cute nose, it needed to be booped”

Eddie’s gaze snaps up to meet Steve’s and finds the twinkle. This time, it brings a flush to his face. “Yeah?”

Steve nods, looking way to serious for this, “I really wanted to do that, like, all day.”

He hums, looking back at Steve’s hand on his wrist before shaking the hand and moving it to hold hands with Steve. “Wanna do anything else?”

“Maybe, will you freak out?”

Eddie shakes his head, “if what I’m thinking is right, I don’t think I will”

It’s quiet as Steve nods and moves closer to his face, it’s slow and Eddie can barely breathe as Steve brings his free hand to his face and Eddie’s eyes close.

It’s a little quick thing and Eddie’s already obsessed. Yet, all Steve did was a simple kiss; a chaste kiss. But the thing that makes him obsessed, makes him want more is the after.

Steve leans his forehead against Eddie’s and when Eddie opens his eyes again, Steve’s are closed and there’s a content smile.

“Stevie, think we can do that more?”

The smile on his face grows, and immediately shifts to press his lips against Eddie’s again. It’s simple, it’s easy, it’s filled with something more that shouldn’t be spoken just yet.

I’m gonna end it there because if not I’m gonna go on forever. I saw a thing saying “booping noses & giggling” and while high decided “that’s STEVE!!” So this came to be! Hope everyone enjoys it 🥰

Also, just so you know, I could not for the life of me type out “chaste” it was in my head just swirling around but my hands and mouth refused to work it out. I ended up finding the word in a fic and copying it. Does that happen to anyone else?? Like the word is there in your head, but you cannot get it out?

Permanent tag list: (if you would like to be added OR removed, let me know!)

@spectrum-spectre @itsfreakingbats @mysticcrownshipper @artiststarme @thereindeerlady @justforthedead89 @ronniescontinuum @freyaforestafay @littlewildflowerkitten @gregre369 @zerokrox-blog @flustratedcas @carlprocastinator1000 @marvelmwah @solliesolesito @navnae @i-less-than-three-you @grimmfitzz @estrellami-1 @cartercaptainofthemoon @strangersteddierthings

#steddie #steve x eddie #first kiss #nburkhardt writes #steve harrington x eddie munson #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie fic #ficlet #steve is a sweetheart #eddie is so in love #eventually in their life Eddie calls Steve ‘Lovebug’ #and steve will always respond by kissing Eddie’s nose

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

#eve text #elmike #stranger things #byler #only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol #tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS #god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear #i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable #i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts #elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about #even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike #i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up #the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me #and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing... #the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me #and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin #also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice… #fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK #so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows #i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too??? #love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk #tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO... #like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO #stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest #anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul #i need frivolity #ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show

[can-of-slorgs]

I'm personally blaming @starbiology and everyone who has reblogged or commented the other piece for this.

Bonus comic featuring my grundo:

#every minute i keep working on this i take psychological damage #neotag #neopets #vin memes #you'reall to blame for this monstruosity #i literally just searched “babygirl” pose and went “I... i can do that” #i didn't stop to think if i should though #Star i was gonna respond 2 the reblog with the first image only but decided it needed its own post for quarantining this... thing #again if youre seeing this with no context #you dont need context #i... i don't think there's any for that matter #just picture me writing all this tags while losing health in posion damage every turn #i am working on neo oc images i just need to render them but i.... i needed the world to see this before #my blog's already tainted anyway LMFAOO #yeah uh im dead in neo canon i drew this and inmediately got taken back by yours trully and never came back #also i'll try making a ref as well for my sona so i can draw them more im just really indecisive in what color to make him #split it is for now #i don't want to look at this anymore end me #i am making more drawings to kinda cover this thing from the light but at this point it just keeps reappearing like a mold #thats it im done see u all in kreludorian therapy #kreludorian health insurance in a farse

[fragilecapric0rnn]

LISTEN. I was ready to ride the Steve Becomes A Teacher train all the way home. It’s in my fics, it’s in my planned fics. But but but LISTEN. 

Steve becoming a first responder? 

A little bit post-S4, Steve is driving home to Hawkins after moving to Indy/Chicago/a major city that’s still within reasonable driving distance for him to come see the kids. Eddie is in the passenger seat and they’re zooming down the highway, one of those picture perfect moments where they’re singing along to a Madonna song, that Eddie was complaining about just moments ago. 

Steve, always striving to be the safest driver on the road, mostly because he is almost always transporting precious cargo in the form of his loved ones, isn’t the one who sees it at first. It isn’t until Eddie loudly gasps and points out a pretty horrific car accident unfolding before their eyes in the next lane over. 

Steve pulls off to the side, a fair distance behind wreck. One of the cars is turned completely around in the other direction, the front smashed in. The other cars are also damaged, but the passengers are getting out. No one has gotten out of the turned around car. 

Without a word, without questions from either of them, the two get out of the Beamer. Eddie goes up to the other cars, a woman who’s crying her eyes out and a young family all looking spooked out of their minds, but all seemingly alright. All of this is happening in Steve’s peripheral because he is now sprinting toward the car that no one has gotten out of. He sees the shape of the driver, head laid back on the headrest, unconscious. 

“Don’t move her!” “We need to wait for help!” Bystanders yell at him. Steve doesn’t respond, the driver door now open, as he checks the girl, who looks so young that mental images of one of his kids being in her place flash across his brain, tug at his heart. 

“Eddie!” He yells past the lump in his throat, but it looks like his boyfriend was already reading his mind, as he runs over with the first aid kit that’s always stationed in the trunk of his car. 

He finds her pulse as Eddie settles beside him. He’s checking for broken bones as the girl comes to. He’s telling her to sit back and that everything is okay as Eddie is yelling at the crowd forming around them to back up, he knows what he’s doing. 

Steve gets the flashlight out of the kit, shining it in her eyes, asking her what her name is, what day it is, who the president is, she hesitates to answer but answers all the questions. 

Eddie isn’t sure if this first aid knowledge is from all the times Steve’s been assessed after all the Upside Down shit or if it’s because of his own research, though he realizes as watches Steve keep the girl calm and gently keep her from moving around at all, it’s both. 

Eddie continues to watch when the ambulance gets to the scene. He watches Steve tell the EMTs that the girl is concussed and has no other visible injuries. He watches as they assess her themselves and as they ask Steve if he’s off duty, motioning to his extensive first aid kit. Steve just says he’s had his fair share of emergencies and he knows what he’s doing. 

After the ambulance leaves, Steve and Eddie walking back to their car, even though traffic is backed up all the way to their apartment it seems, Eddie can’t stop thinking about how easily Steve fit into the “hero” role. How, sure, it’s residual Savior Of The World shit, but can’t it also be more now that the world is saved? 

When they’re back on the road, hours later, and close to home, Eddie asks, 

“Have you ever thought about becoming a paramedic?” 

Steve doesn’t say anything. But he’s thinking. No, he hasn’t thought about it. But maybe he should start thinking about it. 

#fic drabble #EMT Steve? I can see it. It's all I can see actually #steddie headcanon #steve harrington #this might be silly but i couldn't stop thinking about it at work #we get a lot of EMTs in the AM and it got me THINKING #my writing #i wrote this speedy quick so sorry in advance for typos or generally being incoherent #first responder steve #sen writes #my fic

[kinokoshoujoart]

the sos awl development team really looked at rock and said “even if we could fix him (we can’t) he would never agree to it, carry on king”

#and i’m eternally grateful they responded this way #my odd worldview king has every possible brain disease and disorder and he’s perfect just the way he is #cora clownposting content #sos awl #multiple interviews stress that rock was left unchanged because he was always a fucking weirdo and will remain so eternally #i also love that they use the same logic i do. sorry couldn’t redesign him he wouldn’t let us. sorry rock insisted on being drawn this way #what? just change his personality? sorry our hands are tied because he would not fucking say we can rewrite him #explains why his risqué first heart event dialogue was left entirely unchanged in the jp yet maya can’t call him a nanpa anymore #english localization toned it down this time. natume used literal translations and some roughly equivalent english double entendres #sometimes just ignored them #xseed did decide to make him wink when inviting you to be fun-buddies so idk #xseed definitely held a gun to his head for his toned down lines they have Hostage Situation vibes #‘hi there platonic buddy pal!!’ *winks in morse code to spell the words ‘SEX NOW??’* #psychic damage posting #bokumono #hm awl #rock (awl) #this was in my drafts when the heck did i write all this #rock tumbling (sos)

[achillesuwu]

Hey but what if Arthur is waiting for the people's he hold dear in the after life 👀

At first he just asks to the newly death people how Camelot is doing, what is happening, etc. Then he began to see people that he knew, knights and nobles at first, (he lied the first "person" he recognised that die after him was that damned Dragon and he is going to have words with Merlin—), Gaius, Hunith,... 40 years after his death he saw his queen again too.

He also see people he doesn't know but cherish anyways : his wife's new husband, their children, his knights' children, their children's children,...

And yet, he does not see Merlin. He does not wish that he dies but it has been 150 years surely Sorcerer can not live that long?

Slowly but surely, Merlin began to loose his connection to Camelot's children. He began to travel, he began to leave and Arthur becomes afraid. Arthur does not know where he will go, Arthur is losing his track. Arthur is dead and Merlin is alive. All he can do is asks, asks and asks again.

Until one day, one day, no one can answers him anymore and so he waits...

#Merthur #arthur pendragon #merlin #merlin bbc #merlin emrys #Fanfic #canon compliant #Technically #At first I was going to go for a plot where Arthur asks to go back to life #So he can find Merlin again #But magical creature Y347 say something cryptic like “the once and future king will rise again but not now” #And Arthur would have responded something like #It's Arthur the man who is asking #Not the once and future king #Then they would have agree at the condition that Arthur will not tell Merlin who he is and that he shall live and die like any human would #But I just could not write it #I don't know why #At least when Arthur will come back in this AU he will hug Merlin as tightly as Merlin hold him! #Because they both wanted 1500 years for each other :) #There is some kind of poetry in it? #Two halves one dead one alive both waiting to be whole again #And perhaps it is the greater grief #after all #to be left on earth when another is gone. #my shit

[bittersweetresilience]

it feels cosmically unfair that i think about writing all the time want to write all the time and sit down to write all the time and i come up with two sentences at best. there should be some reward system i think

#RAAAAAAAAAA #the thing is i know why i'm stuck it's because i get overly wrapped up in meaningless details of word choice and sentence structure #and i need every word to be perfect before i can move on to the next and that just creates an interminable cycle of being so slow to #progress i feel like even more like a failure and imperfect and respond by being even more intense about it #in spite of the fact that almost no reader is going to look at my work and go hey nice i noticed you used a word with an aesthetically #pleasing number of letters here as opposed to a word ending in t which would have ruined the flow and disgusted me forever #but it's not about the readers i'm the one who reads it and gets disgusted forever #and i know this does not matter but it feels like there is no conceivable way i could write something without it being perfect first try #fucking hilariously i edited the tags of this post for a good ten minutes because the spacing of the words was bothering me so i had to #find words with different lengths as replacements #RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #anyway i'm doing wonderfully #this is about soulmate au i think maybe because it's so important to me i'm especially perfectionistic over it right now #brain can you stop it i'm on my hands and knees #also t is the worst letter invented hands down. no question.

[theotherbuckley]

Traitor! How dare you call yourself a buddie shipper when you ship and write for Buck with that rat? You don't deserve to spell buddie. Hypocrite

Oh no, I like Buck being happy in a frankly adorable relationship. What a tragedy.

I can like more than one thing. It’s a talent. Not sure how that makes me a hypocrite but okay. I hope you have a great day 💜

Listen, if you don’t like them that’s your prerogative but you seriously feel the need to go into my inbox and say shit to me? Like these characters are fictional but I am not.

#purples first hate mail #purple asks #I really don’t know how to respond to this #I can like buddie and still like bucktommy write now #they make me happy and I think that’s what matters #idk man if you wanna hate I guess that’s up to you #but seriously have you seen the way Buck talks about Tommy? how can you not feel all giggly about that #skill issue I guess #idk #have a good day anyway

[alicepao13]

The disrespect this show gets on a daily basis, from the production to the network(s) to even the pirates who prefer to rip shows like *checks notes* Big Brother Canada (same group)...

I wouldn't be calling them out if I hadn't done this myself, by the way. People who have never ripped a damn thing can stay in their lane. I have earned my stripes, I'm not someone who wants to talk shit about those who do this, and I understand the process involved. The webrips are a different story, as they are uploaded by Amazon whenever. The HDTV rips should be uploaded on time, shortly after the network airs the show, and it's the same process as it always has been to rip them. Uploading HDTV rips after the webrips has no value whatsoever, unless someone cares that much about the promo, which of course CityTV doesn't care enough to upload themselves, proving once again what a shitty network they are.

Hudson and Rex has an international fanbase, it shouldn't be so difficult to be able to watch it as an international fan in 2024.

#hudson and rex #this is now a whining blog #but what else can it be when nothing about this show is working as intended #I've been torrenting since 2005 #I've never had the misfortune of having to wait as long as I wait for this show through all these years #last season it took them three days to upload the season five premiere hdtv rip #the rip times are unbelievably inconsistent and they have been that way since this saw first caught my eye (season two) #the fact that there is a single group that does the hdtv rips means that if for whatever reason they can't upload it then we don't have it #the webrips are actually being ripped by one of the best groups out there so I can't complain #it's just that the streaming upload by amazon happens whenever they feel like it #once again I'm drawing similarities between canadian and greek programming which is so not in their favor #(I actually thought that by the time I'd finished writing this we'd have something but nope) #(ps I just saw a rip announce of family feud canada and I just... does someone actually hate hudson and rex?) #(pps do not respond to this if you live in a country where your government is actively combating piracy)

[poppy5991]

Wow! The last post on this topic was quite popular! So here’s another from a person that actually does emergency response for a living…

Writing PTSD in first responders/emergency personnel accurately: Trauma Thresholds

(I called them out in the tags last time for Owen’s PTSD portrayal, but this is one thing Grey’s anatomy does quite well.)

One mistake I see in media/writing is a character being traumatized by something that an average person would find traumatic…but probably not an experienced responder.

We do expect to see and are trained to cope with some level of trauma in our jobs. You anticipate witnessing injury, illness, death, and grief. So things that the average civilian finds disturbing don’t phase us so much. But there are specific things that can trigger a trauma response, mainly:

Moral injury: Witnessing or being put in a situation that violates your deeply held moral values or sense of self

Projecting loved ones on to a trauma (I.e. what if that was my kid/they are the same age as my sister/my loved one was at that event)

Experiencing/witnessing violence or harassment on the job

Out of my depth: asked to work without the necessary tools, rest, or training

Here’s a couple examples of what might be par for the course versus what will fuck you (or your character) up….

Scenario 1: Paramedic responds to a heart attack on a middle aged man. Performs CPR while wife wails in the background.

Traumatic? Probably not

Scenario 2: Paramedic responds to a sudden infant death call on a six month old. Performs infant CPR. Mom is wailing in the background. Paramedic has a newborn at home with their spouse, born a few weeks ago.

Traumatic? Yep!

-

Scenario 1: ED nurse works a gunshot victim on their shift. Standard case that they see frequently in an urban ED.

Traumatic? Probably not.

Scenario 2: There is a mass shooting at a local event. Sudden influx of multiple gunshot victims. The ED is overwhelmed and understaffed. Family are showing up at the ED screaming and looking for loved ones. The shooter is still at large.

Traumatic? Yep.

-

Scenario 1: Public Health worker is doing shelter surveillance and interviewing people on their disease exposures and medical needs. Hears harrowing stories about the disaster from traumatized and scared people who may be separated from loved ones/witnessed death/lost their homes.

Traumatic? Probably not.

Scenario 2: Public Health worker is doing shelter surveillance and interviewing people on their disease exposures and medical needs. There is an unaccompanied child/dementia patient wandering around. They realize that this person’s family have left without notifying anyone and have abandoned their loved one during the disaster. The person is anxious/inconsolable and asking the worker where their family has gone.

Traumatic? Yep.

-

Scenario 1: Disaster animal shelter worker is doing intake for animals after an evacuation. Both the people and animals are traumatized and stressed, anxious about being separated.

Traumatic? Probably not.

Scenario 2: Disaster animal shelter worker is doing intake for animals after an evacuation. A man comes in and aggressively demands to be given his purebred dog. Refuses to show ID. He becomes increasingly aggressive, threatening workers but departs when police are called. Police inform worker that the man was probably trying to steal a purebred dog from the shelter to sell. When checking the microchip, realizes they are correct- they remember the owner and it is not that man.

Traumatic? Yep.

-

These are just a few examples of things that happen in real life. It can be different if you are new to the field and witnessing things for the first time, but if you’re writing an experienced responder experiencing trauma make sure to give context as to why a certain event was traumatic as compared to their normal work threshold.

Also make sure not to fall into the trap of writing “perfect victims.” People in stressful situations can and do act very poorly out of fear and often we take the brunt of it. It’s not realistic to write all the victims that your character is helping as calm, compliant, rational, and kind. They are more likely confused, angry, combative, dazed, and upset. And they are likely to view their problem or loved one as more important than everyone else’s in that moment. And to act in accordance. No matter how insignificant.

Lastly don’t forget that in addition to work, we have personal lives. While working stressful situations, we too have loved ones pass, pets get sick, have relationship problems, etc. so you can write that in to flesh out the character. It’s very much true that people with children have a harder time dealing with situations involving harm to kids, people with pets struggle more with helping in situations involving animals, etc.

#writing #ptsd #writing first responders #writing trauma #writing ptsd #writing refs #writing reference #writing disasters #greys anatomy

[trashquisitor-shirozora]

Was browsing through early BOBF/Mando S3 criticisms on Tumblr and WOW, 93% of S2’s viewership dropped when S3 finished airing for an extremely understandable reason. As someone who got into Dinluke after all the dust settled I can only imagine what it was like becoming invested in Din’s story and being floored by the S2 finale only for it to get totally swerve-balled after a long-anticipated wait. How did you avoid the disappointment and burnout?

Spite is an incredibly powerful motivator, let me tell you.

I'm halfway joking about that, btw. I could say I'm used to disappointment and I also worked really hard not to take things too personally after being disappointed time and again year after year by fandoms I was in. Imo the healthiest attitude is that no show/movie/book/videogames/etc will ever play out the way you want/think it should so take what you can get and trash the rest. By the time I started watching The Mandalorian, I'd been burnt badly by Star Trek AOS, the Sequel Trilogy, the MCU, and the Disney machine, and I had to figure out how to accept that I like what I like, I can't change what I can't change, and I can/will run the fuck off with what I can change, which is making wildly fun and fulfilling transformative shit like fanfics and fanart.

I was actually excited about TBOBF and was utterly betrayed by the executive decision to throw him and Fennec to the side in order to absolutely trash the Season 2 finale of the Mando Show by having Din and Grogu reunite just like that. I guess I got lucky in that I had a long-running fic series that I was heavily invested in and I was not about to let Disney stop me from finishing it. Instead of letting my frustrations kill my interest in the show and fandom, I turned it into motivation to keep telling the story I wanted to tell based on the fallout of Season 2. It also helped that Andor happened.

I quit Season 3 of the Mando Show after the 1st episode and it was the best decision I ever made. I had a really rough time with it and was encouraged to step away if it was giving me too much stress. I'm glad for that. Less time and energy picking about Filoni&Favreau and Disney Lucasfilm's decisions and disappointments, more time and energy spent writing and drawing the dinluke I want to see. The nice thing about Star Wars is that it is an old and vast sandbox. Plenty of room here to build whatever sandcastles and dig however many holes you want while canon goes floundering by.

I think also that it really helped to find spaces to share with people who vibe on the same wavelength, so I'm not alone to my thoughts and spiraling myself out of a fandom I enjoyed (like what happened with TLJ but I shan't go there bc this response is long enough). Those posts about having friends you can shit-talk things with? Valid af. You need outlets to vent your grievances without setting bridges on fire, and it'll help your enjoyment of things in the long run.

I didn't avoid the disappointment but I figured out how to make something of it, so I'm still writing dinluke, I'm still drawing dinluke, I'm still getting giddy over dinluke. I actively choose to do what I want with them, and nothing Disney Lucasfilm puts out is ever going to stop me.

#shirozora awkwardly responds to asks #dinluke #the mandalorian #star wars #tbobf #fandom things #realized I still have a lot of thoughts about TBOBF and Mando S3 while answering the ask #i should post them at some point #but really I can be a really spiteful person who uses rage to fuel certain ideas #if i see a story I don't like for a thing that I like I will rewrite things and I will create things to get over that rage #it's like that quote in frankenstein #it's like. i like this thing so much and i expect better from it so if it won't reach there then i'll write/draw it myself #the burnout will get to me eventually if the hyperfixation doesn't get to me first #but for now i am really enjoying the ride and i remain heavily invested in the story i'm telling with Dangerous Dreams #sometimes you just gotta find the one thing in the fandom you really like and stick with it to the end of the line

[mid-nightowl]

paramedic/EMT dick is so good omg :o i hadn’t thought about that one

i have seen social worker dick which also felt really appropriate (also love that for jason) but!!! EMT actually feels like it works better to me???

thank u for putting that thought in my head~

ahhhhhhh!! i am so ecstatic i could put the thought of emt/paramedic!dick in your head hehehehe

paramedic!dick is so special to me<3 it very much i think hits what dick needs and wants out of his civilian life but also directly influences his vigilantism too

my main three takeaways are these:

it's a highly rewarding but deeply traumatizing career and it scratches his innate need to help people without violence & fear

it's a little bit more training than a police officer but i think covers a field of knowledge dick knows but doesn't know intimately like he does criminal justice or law. it would also benefit his "night" job to be more equipped to handle traumatic injuries

ems schedules are chaotic and all over the place especially if the garage is down a paramedic or ALS provider or just overall understaffed but the overall structure of it would be good for dick (if he can balance his work-vigilantism life healthily, depending on how you write him)

#asks #ladytauria #i got halfway through an essay and decided not to infodump on you askfgsjkgbsjgb #but yeah ems is one of my niches i feel i know too much about but i am just very passionate about it #but i also truly believe it would be a better profession for dick than police officer (blegh) #like there's just so much potential in this career for him #the community aspect; the balance of heroism and trauma which parallels his trajectory as Nightwing; the balance of work and home life #(which can flip between healthy or unhealthy) #the training and the role of ems in society esp in regards to the trifecta of first responders #you can easily deal with the same things dick did as a police officer but as an ems provider and it would be better ethically and morally #also the idea of him being able to help others without violence and fear is such an interesting thread to pull on like omg???? #and then just the angst potential bc the job is just as traumatizing and frustrating as vigilantism; the cycle of burnout and exhaustion #(which can also be a downside writing-wise like he's already traumatized enough by being Nightwing maybe his day job shouldn't be) #i could talk all day about the potential akfgnkasjg apologies for the ranting-gushing lol #dick grayson #paramedic!dick grayson

[bokettochild]

Fable hijacked some shit

she's worse than her brother, help!

#jk jk jk #ketto's writing misadventures #lu fable #legend's in shock and not responding well #because shock #so fable decided to narrate #girl has feelings #big ones #and a lot to say about her life #and her brother #i have feelings about them #and their first meeting #and how they think of each other

[rollercoasterwords]

hi! thank you for the kind words, i'm happy you're enjoying the fic. but i also want to use this message as an opportunity to talk about something/set a boundary that i haven't really known how to discuss, and i've blocked out your name because even though i'm not angry or upset with you, i want to make sure i'm not sending any hate back your way. 

i know that this message is well-intentioned, and i know you likely think it's nothing but a compliment to ask me to write more--after all, you're only asking me to write more because you enjoy the story so much! shouldn't that be a nice thing for me to hear? 

and like. i think that's why this is difficult for me to talk about. i don't want to come across as ungrateful or overly sensitive or like i don't appreciate the compliments, because i do. but at the same time, hearing someone say, "please write more of this fic for me, i love your writing so much!" is still hearing someone say "please write more of this fic for me!" like. 300,000 words is incredibly long. most novels are between 70k-100k words. a 300k word book usually takes years to write--years, and hundreds of hours of labor. maybe you chose that number randomly, or you're exaggerating for emphasis; but no matter how nicely you're phrasing it or how facetious you're being, ultimately this sort of message still puts pressure on me to produce a massive amount of writing in a short period of time. and even if you meant it as a compliment, it doesn't feel nice to me. being pressured to churn out hundreds of thousands of words makes me feel as though i'm being seen as a content-creation machine for the entertainment of others, and i don't like that. writing is a labor of love for me, but it is still labor--hours of time and effort that i'm putting into these works which i share for free, with no expectations of anything in return except maybe a few kind words from those who feel like reaching out. when i get messages or comments like this pushing me to write more, to write faster, it makes me feel as though my time and labor are not respected at all; as if there's absolutely no consideration for the amount of effort it takes to write the stories. which, again, makes me feel like i'm being viewed as some sort of fic-writing machine that can just pump out hundreds of thousands of words on demand for others' entertainment.

and none of this is helped by the tongue-in-cheek comment about how you're "suffering" waiting for updates. again, i understand that this was well-intended and maybe even a playful exaggeration that's supposed to be complimentary. but there are ways to tell me you enjoy my writing and eagerly wait for updates without telling me how much you dislike waiting between chapters. posting once a week is already a difficult schedule for me to maintain, and it's entirely possible that i'll need to take another break in the future or skip a week or something. i've been very clear about the fact that my update schedule is subject to change since i started writing the fic; that's just part of reading a wip. but when i get messages or comments like these with people telling me how they don't like waiting for updates, or comments directly asking me to post more than once a week, or--back when i did take a break--comments begging me not to take a break, it all adds together and builds up and creates this pressure to write more, write faster, post the new ch now now now. if you were the only person making this type of comment, it probably wouldn't bother me and i'd just respond and go "thanks lol" and move on. but the problem is that you aren't the only one--since more people have started reading the fic, i've consistently been getting comments like these, where the backhanded pressure to write more or write faster is couched in compliments. it's just so hard to wait for updates because i love your writing so much! i just want you to write more and post now and write faster because i love your writing so much! i know it's all well-intended, but none of it makes me feel good. it just makes me feel a mounting pressure to produce produce produce.

i feel like there are so many conversations happening in this fandom about how we need to treat writers better, where people go "the fandom is so shitty" and everyone goes "yeah!" but no one ever thinks they're part of the problem. and i think it's because everyone thinks the problem is like...really blatantly rude and entitled messages. and like, i get those too--people telling me they don't like a certain characterization and asking me to rewrite the fic; people repeatedly demanding that i write a certain fic for them; people just outright shitting on things i've written because they don't like it and for some reason think i want to know that. but none of that is super common. what is super common is the steady stream of comments and messages like this one, where they are so well-intended and don't see anything wrong with what they're saying because they think they're giving me a compliment. but all these "compliments" build up and create this pressure that hangs over my head to be constantly producing and writing, which is ultimately what leads to burnout and also makes me feel like i'm not being seen as a person so much as a machine. 

so like. idk. i'm not gonna try to speak for every writer in the fandom; maybe there are people out there who do appreciate this kind of message, who feel like it motivates them to write. but for me, i want to make it clear: i really don't appreciate being asked to write more or write faster or to write a certain trope/ship/etc; i am not a waiter taking your order at a restaurant. writing fic is not a service i'm providing for you that you pay me for in comments or kudos or messages or any sort of attention, because i am not writing for that attention in the first place. so when it comes to interacting with me, i'd ask that you reevaluate the way you give compliments and think about what sort of pressure you're putting on me, regardless of how well-intentioned your message is. again, no hard feelings towards you--like i said, this message probably wouldn't even register as pressuring to me if not for the fact that i get so many little comments like it, all from equally well-intentioned people who think they're just giving a compliment, all of which builds up together. 

anyway. all that being said. to answer your question: the fic will likely be four parts, not three as i originally intended. it will probably end up somewhere between 100-200k words based on the fact that we're already at 80k and i've only just started part iii, but i am not going to put pressure on myself to write a certain amount of words or hit a certain length. i'm just going to write what i want to write when i want to write, and share it as i want to share it. i'm happy to have you along if you want to be here, but if the cliffhangers or waiting for updates becomes too unenjoyable for you then there's no pressure for you to stay, yknow? no hard feelings on my end either way :•)

#have been talking w a few friends abt this recently and just. felt like it was getting to a point where i need 2 set a boundary lol #like again don't want to come across as ungrateful bc i DO appreciate the kind words and i love talking abt my writing w people #but those kind words and conversation are not the reason i write in the first place. i write in the first place purely for the fun + joy #of writing a story that i want to read #so as much as i appreciate the compliments etc #people being nice to me about my writing does not then entitle those people to make requests or demands about the way i write #yknow? #feel like its hard to phrase this without sounding cunty lol but like. it is simply the truth #anyway. like i said no hard feelings towards the person who sent this message truly #i just picked this as an opportunity to respond to allll the comments + messages like it #might put a note at the end of the next ch or something bc this type of thing happens in the comments moreso than tumblr messages #which is part of why i usually just ignore and move on but. it builds up guys #and it's only been increasing so. feel like i need to be firm abt setting expectations etc #ask #wfrau #ranting and raving