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madlumqx · 1 year

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that's unexpected. | n. kento

synopsis | nanami kento was the most secretive person in your office, to find out one of his biggest secrets was something you never expected.

warnings | non-sorcerer!au, office!au, age gap (reader is in her early 20’s, nanami is in his late 20’s to early 30’s), nsfw (minors + ageless blogs dni!), bit of a slow burn, fem/afab!reader, camboy!nanami, dom!nanami, masturbation (f/m), using of pet names (angel, darling, & the likes), sir kink, fingering, oral (f receiving), overstimulation (f), dacryphilia, dirty talking, size kink, hand kink, degradation, praise kink, and unprotected sex (don’t do this irl for the love of god)

a/n | alright, who’s ready for this to go down? haha camboy!nanami will forever live in my head. also !! a big shout out and thanks to @l0serloki & @bunnyyamor for helping me gain confidence in writing this because i would have NEVER even thought abt posting it T___T credits to the original artist of the nanami fanart i have used in the banner.

word count: 5.4k (haha whoops got carried away)

nanami kento was the most secretive person in your office. no one really bothers him aside from gojo satoru from the finance department of the company that you work in.

the man was a total mystery for everyone since he tends to be more reserved than most. despite this however, he was a total heartthrob for everyone; tall, muscular, polite, and drop-dead gorgeous? yeah there’s no doubt that people would line up for his attention.

you, on the other hand, strayed away from him. not because you wanted to be different, you were just too intimidated by his presence. he was your senior in the company by eight years and the last thing you want is for anyone to have your head for being the new girl in the office trying to score with the hottest guy.

the work you do was draining enough already.

it was another day at work and you were just about to lose it. your team’s manager tasked you to photocopy a bunch of files needed for an emergency meeting to be held in the afternoon but the xerox machine decided to be a little bitch and jam mid-printing. the missed calls from your boss only adding pressure as your shaky hands try your best to fix the contraption.

“need help?” a voice mumbled from behind you, causing you to jump just a bit and turn to the source.

your eyes widened a bit to see nanami staring down at you with the same unreadable expression he sports every day. “o-oh! mr. nanami, i’m okay! just… having paper jam problems, is all.” you sputter out, mentally cursing yourself for being so obvious about your nerves with him.

he silently shrugs you off and shakes his head, a hand reaching over to place on your shoulders so he can go to the machine and pull out the jammed paper with ease. “you can call me kento, you know.” he mumbles softly. “you’ve been in the office for over a year now but i can’t recall having a conversation with you.”

he catches you off-guard at that statement, making you choke on air. luckily, the last paper you were photocopying was done and you grabbed it along with other copies stacked, “our… schedules never really collided! we can have a conversation soon, mr. na- kento!” you bid him a swift goodbye, bowing as you hurry off.

you were internally panicking, practically fighting with yourself as you walk away, pondering if it was better to just accept the earful from your manager with one missing copy just so the incident with kento never happened. him, on the other hand despite his emotionless exterior, was bewildered at how much you tried to avoid him.

and even if it wasn’t like him to pry into others but you caught his attention.

—

“satoru, do you know (y/n)?” nanami asks the white-haired man as they both exit the building. his run-up with you still unable to leave his mind. the nervous image of yours planted into his brain.

gojo looks at him in disbelief that he would finally ask about someone around the office. “you mean (y/n) (l/n)? yeah i know her! she’s really sweet and friendly, actually.” he answers truthfully, looking back at the time you and him were seatmates at a seminar for the whole company and how you catered his talkative ass the whole time and managed to still pay attention to the speaker in front. “she brings me the cookies she bakes from time to time. why’d you ask? have the hots for her?”

the blonde stares at the latter with unamusement. “just talked to her earlier, i don’t know but she seemed to avoid me. we’ve been working under the same department in administration but i’ve barely heard her voice.” he admits, actually curious why you’re so avoidant of him when you manage to befriend satoru.

unable to help his laugh, gojo pats his friend’s back and shrugs. “maybe it’s more of a you thing rather than her, (y/n)’s friendly.” he says and picks up his pace. “here’s my stop, have fun wondering why she avoids you, nanamin!”

—

you were drained, all you wanted to do was sprawl on your bed and wonder why you put up with the job that you’re in.

removing the tortuous heels you’ve been wanting to take off, you take a deep sigh of relief as your feet hit the solid floor. dragging your body towards your room and sprawling out on the comfort of your bed. you almost moaned at the contact of your aching back against the foam of your bed.

managing to slip off most of your clothes, you were left in just your button up and underwear; the only thing on your mind on right now to further release tension made you open your phone and searched for a website where you can get off to camboys, scrolling through different ones until you come across one that looks a tad bit too familiar.

sitting up a bit, you stare at the muscular body and the all too familiar voice and slacks that slapped your senses back into place. despite his face being hidden behind a mask, you knew it was nanami! the very person you actively tried to avoid was live… stroking himself for the whole of the internet to see.

your sensible side was begging for you to stop and scroll away, but you were a human with needs too. you could feel yourself slowly drip in arousal as you watch him hungrily paired with the guttural groans he slips off from time to time. it was definitely him.

“mhm, that’s right baby, stroke yourself for daddy.” the words he spoke hitting directly in between your legs. feeling his dominance, you just opted to follow and let your neediness take over.

sliding your hand south slowly, you moaned quietly at the slightest friction of your fingers as you slowly rubbed your clit. nanami’s voice was all that you could hear, matching his pace as your eyes focus on his digits, it seemed so big, so perfect to fill you up. you’ve noticed how big his hands were when he helped you just today, but never has a dirty thought crossed your mind until now.

unable to focus with just one hand, you let go of your phone and continue your ministrations, just hearing your co-worker’s breathy moans and small words of praise was enough to send you over the edge. “nngh, k-kento..” you needily say to no one, dipping your middle and ring finger inside, quietly whining as it fills you up; soon feeling the knot in your stomach slowly starting to tighten.

“mhm, gonna cum soon, baby? that’s my good doll, c’mon, make a mess.” nanami’s voice fills up the room, making you quietly cry out of pleasure as his voice sends you into oblivion.

your eyes looked back at the screen of your phone and you watched as nanami came himself, thick ropes of white coating the tip of his cock and stomach, it was a sight to behold. a godly sight, if anyone was to ask you. but not even the nbi can ever get that information out of you.

you had just fucked yourself to your co-worker’s camboy service; how were you supposed to face him at work tomorrow then?

—

you tried to be stealthy around the office, thankful that your work cubicle was on the literal opposite side of nanami’s, it was easy for you to avoid him and risk blowing your cover about knowing his secret. he was a well-respected man who has serviced the company longer than you and the last thing you want was the gossip to spread like wildfire amongst the hungry-for-him people that surrounded him daily.

the plan you had was simple, stay by your side and avoid him at all costs! it sounded easy in your head, even packing your own lunch this time so the only real opportunity for the two of you to clash was if you had to take a trip to the bathroom.

everything was going smooth until your lunch break, however.

you were confident! with just a few hours left of the work day, your plan would be deemed successful, until gojo satoru came waltzing over with nanami in tow. “oh (y/n)!” the boisterous man had greeted you with a wide grin. “why eat here? someone bothering ya?” he questions, raising an eyebrow at you and your food.

the man behind you, honestly. you thought to yourself but you could never say that out loud.

opting to avoid looking at his companion, you turn to gojo and smile at him. “toru! well, i just wanted to eat here. kind of a break from the noise, you know.” you say, internally cringing at how shit your excuse was. in attempt to save yourself, you also motion your computer which was displaying a plethora of files opened. “and i just want to revise on the letters and memorandums that the boss assigned to me, just want to keep things spick and span before i have to pass them by the end of the week.”

satoru suddenly lights up even more, glancing at nanami who just stared you down. clearing his throat, he pulled the blonde forward and patted his back. “nanamin, right here, would love to help! right?” he says, leaving the two of you in shock.

you immediately shake your head as the words gojo spoke finally sink in. “oh! there’s no need! i can manage and i’m pretty sure mr. nanami’s busy too.” you bow a few times as you decline, heart racing as you hope kento would do the same and wack some sense into his friend’s head but instead you were met with him shaking his head.

“it’s okay, (y/n). i have nothing to do anyways, i finished my work for the day already.” he says, grabbing the vacant chair next to you and places himself beside you, motioning you to continue on with your lunch as he takes your work laptop away so he can revise on the current one you’re doing.

you stare at gojo incredulously, unable to formulate words as the blue-eyed man shrugs and silently walk away, leaving you and nanami alone.

cue the awkward silence.

it was unbearable; knowing that if one of your female officemates saw you two together would cause gossip and the weight of being aware of his side job after office hours pestered your thoughts and inner demons to your limits. but considering you had no more say on the matter, you just let him work on what you were doing previously and eat your sandwich in ignorant bliss.

that’s until your eyes landed on the two fingers on the touchpad of your laptop scrolling through the file. the memories and thoughts that took over you last night were back, causing you to choke on your food, making nanami stop and look at you with concern.

“are you okay, (y/n)?” kento asks, placing your laptop back on the table as he pats your back and offers you the water bottle on your desk. his brows were furrowed with concern as you take the bottle and chug down the water, making you a deep gasp for air right after.

taking a few seconds to calm down, you nod. “mhm, just the food going down the wrong pipe.” you manage to crack to lighten the mood between the two of you. if he was doing this much to actually talk to you after yesterday’s photocopy small talk, you probably should make a conscious effort to talk to him too.

“kento? i… i apologize for like… you know avoiding you all the time.” you start off, voice quiet but you can feel the blonde’s intense stare on you. choosing you pick at your fingers rather than look up and meet his gaze. “i’m just intimidated by you, most of the time.” you continue to explain, having the courage to look up and see the corner of his lips upturned to the smallest smile.

“it’s okay, (y/n). i’m just glad it isn’t because of my appearance or something. really thought i did something for you to avoid me as much as you did yesterday.” he admits, placing the laptop back down and flexes his fingers, causing you to spare a quick glance at them again before placing your attention back on him. maybe striking up a conversation with him wasn’t a bad thing at all.

but unfortunately for you, however, nanami kento’s a very observant man and your glance onto his hands didn’t go unnoticed.

—

it was the end of another workday and you were more than glad to go back home and just pass out, but the morbid curiosity of checking to see if nanami was live plagued your mind. it was a bit later in the night as you had to go out and run a few errands of grocery shopping before heading home so the chances seemed lower.

after arriving home and washing up, you were back on your bed, thumb hovering over the browser of your phone to search up if he was active. you shouldn’t, (y/n)! he’s your officemate for fuck’s sake. but you did so well already with hiding it from him today, one more time wouldn’t hurt, right?

the next thing you knew, you were back on the website, heart racing to see if he was active— he definitely was. it seemed to be the start of the stream but he wasn’t wearing his usual slacks anymore, it was gray sweatpants that outlined his dick perfectly and hung low on his hips, exposing his defined abs and v-line.

but what actually caught your attention, was the silver rings that decorated his fingers. combined with the evident veins on his hands and arms, this was like a treat that fed your core. you couldn’t help but imagine how it would feel to have the cold metal kiss your skin as he touches you.

it was all too much, but you couldn’t help but greedily want more, want more of him.

—

a few work days go by and nanami seemed to be drawn to your presence, finding himself gravitating towards you as you treated him the same as you would with any person; unbeknownst to him about your knowledge on the things he does by the time office hours are done.

it’s a beneficial friendship for the both of you; he gets to be left alone by the people who usually pester him to eat with during lunch (with the exception of satoru) and you get to fulfill your dirtiest fantasies by watching him get off whenever you catch him live on stream.

—

it was finally saturday, almost two weeks since you first found out about kento’s secret. you felt proud of yourself for managing to keep it inside for you for this long (with the denying thought that you wanted to gatekeep this information to yourself for as long as you can)

you were making your way home when all of a sudden the rain started pouring, it was harsh and you were drenched in no time. having no other choice, you were forced to find shelter underneath one of the buildings, cursing yourself for not bringing the umbrella you had chosen to leave inside your house when you decided to go out for a walk.

“(y/n)?” someone calls out, and you turn over to see nanami dressed in just sweatpants and a fleece jacket that fit him snug. “what’re you doing here?” he asks, eyeing your figure.

you shot him a sheepish smile, “i wanted to go out and walk for a bit since i’ve been asleep all afternoon. might not be the brightest idea of mine to not bring an umbrella.” you explained, trying your best to keep yourself warm by hugging your arms to yourself.

nanami contemplated letting you into his home; not that he didn’t want you there, he just had business to attend to later into the evening. seeing your freezing frame, however, made him think otherwise. “how about you say here for a bit? i don’t think the rain would let up anytime soon.” he offers, motioning his head to the doors of the apartment complex.

you wanted to decline, you really did. but considering whether you should wait this is one out and probably face hypothermia, maybe accepting his offer was the wisest choice to make.

so you relent, nodding quietly as you walk closer to kento, following him inside the building and into the elevator. “have you invited anyone else from the office over here?” you asked him, genuinely curious to see if he has brought anyone else over.

to your surprise, he shook his head. “just you, (y/n). and satoru, but he’s an unstoppable force of a migraine so i have no other choice.” he says, sighing at the mention of his best friend's persistent and unannounced visits.

it somehow excited you, going inside his apartment and seeing where he would do his business, and it didn’t help that he admitted to not having anyone from the office over aside from gojo; it was like the cards of fate were on your side— even if the odds and chances of him ever opening up the topic were slim to none.

if there was a 0.1% chance it would happen, you would jump on it.

the elevator ride was silent, the awkwardness weighing on your head as you shift from one foot to another as your eyes steadied on both of your reflection against the doors of the lift. it wasn’t helping that you were still cold from being drenched in the rain. “this is us, (y/n).” nanami mumbles quietly as the doors open to his floor, motioning you to get out first.

“i’m not intruding by suddenly coming over, right?” you ask, nipping on your lower lip as you watch the muscles under his shirt flex as reaches for his keys.

he glances back at you before finding the key, shaking his head. “relax, (y/n). i invited you to come over. would’ve declined if i felt you were.” he truthfully says, opening the door and steps to the side, tilting his head to the side and wait for you to enter.

mumbling a soft thanks as you pass by him, you eye the apartment. it wasn’t /that/ fancy but you can definitely see that he was rich. anyone can also tell he liked reading from the multitude of books displayed on the shelf beside the tv. it was definitely an apartment of someone around his age.

“you can wash up in the bathroom, i’ll grab you some spare clothes in my room.” he speaks up, pointing to the door by the end of the hallway. “i’ll just knock when i have them ready.” he finishes, walking briskly into his bedroom.

you head off into the bathroom and wash up, stripping from your clothes to go into the shower and wash off the sticky feeling from being in the rain, sighing in satisfaction as the warmth of the water soothes down your shaking body.

right as you were done, you heard the knocking from the bathroom door. “(y/n)? here’s the clothes.” he calls out. wrapping yourself with the towel, you open up slightly to see him with his arm extended but his face was facing away. “just… find me in the living room after.” he mumbles and walks away as soon as he feels you grab the set of clothing.

briefly slipping into the boxers and the shirt he gave, you walked out and headed for the living room where you saw him sat by the couch, legs sprawled just enough for the dirty thoughts to come right back. his lap seemed so inviting but you had to keep yourself at bay. you were a sudden guest after all.

“would you like some coffee? tea?” nanami says, eyes shamelessly checking you out in his clothes; the way it looked on you causing his dick to stir in his jeans. he felt ridiculous, being turned on by the way you look in his clothes. then again, you didn’t seem to mind his blatant way of eyeing you up and down. nanami is a wise man, he knew and felt if the tension was thick and that was clearly evident with you.

nodding, you sat down by his side; the distance just enough for the two of you not to touch. “if it wouldn’t be such a bother, some coffee would be perfect.” you answer, smiling at him shyly as you get comfortable in the cushions.

feeling his weight lift off from the couch, he looks down at you with his same old stoic expression. “again, you’re my guest so it’s natural for me to try and be a good host. i’ll get us a cup of coffee.” he says, patting your head gently before disappearing into the kitchen.

and you were left alone. alone in nanami kento’s house.

if you were to tell yourself two weeks ago that you were in this current predicament, she would have never believed you. but here you are, eyes wondering around to observe the little trinkets, decor, and overall ambiance of the older man’s place. the curiosity of wanting to know where he films his live but you wanted to respect him and not blow your cover about being aware inside of his own home.

“i’ll find out soon enough, nanami…” you mumble softly as you stretch, unaware that the very owner of the name you just mentioned was just a few feet behind you.

“find you about what?” nanami’s voice startles you, sitting up straight as you turn your body to look at him with eyes as wide as saucers. c’mon get it together, (y/n)! you look like a deer caught in headlights! you cuss to yourself, unable to form any excuse for a few minutes.

kento looked unamused, raising an eyebrow to your direction as he places the two mugs of coffee down on the table. “asked you a question, (y/n). what are you going to find out?” he asks one more time, authority dripping in his tone which sends shivers down your spine. his dominant aura seeping out of him so naturally as he towers over you.

looks like you have no other choice than to come clean.

taking a deep sigh, you start to avoid his gaze, fingers toying with the edge of his shirt. “i… i know, kento.” you admit, voice shy and meek as your heart thrashes around in your chest at the reaction he could have. “i was curious about where you… do things.”

the moment the words left your lips, nanami knew exactly what you meant and honestly, he wasn’t even mad. you treated him the same despite bearing the heavy secret of his work outside of the office hours. you didn’t even gossip around the department about it! you were such a good girl for him that it honestly turned him on more so than feeling invaded.

“and you’ve kept it all this time?” his voice comes out lower than before, stepping closer as one of his digits hook around your chin to lift your face, making you have eye-contact with him. “why’d be so secretive about it, sweet thing?”

sweet thing. motherfucker knows he has you hooked around his finger and you couldn’t help but feel a tad bit frustrated at yourself for being so weak. “because… it felt nice to be the only one to know.” you say, nipping at your bottom lip as your vulnerability slowly shows in front of him.

his free hand snakes around your waist to pull you in, tilting his head lightly as his dark orb stares into yours. “such a good girl for me, yeah? keepin’ my secret and all” he says lowly, leaning in just enough for his lips to ghost the skin of your cheek, breath fanning over your ears. “should i reward you for being a good girl then?”

he hit the spot. he knew exactly what you wanted and you weren’t even ashamed about your body language, hands now gripping the side of his shirt tightly to keep him close to you. “y-yes sir, want you so bad.” you mumble quietly.

that’s everything that nanami needed to hear.

his lips were on yours in a flash, moving in such a slow and intimate way you can’t help but whine just the tiniest bit into the kiss. it drew a low groan from his end, sounding almost primal as he pulled you in tighter, feeling his hardening dick stir against your lower belly. his hands were already underneath your shirt, palming your breasts and pinching your pebbled nipples.

“gonna take you to the room, darlin’” he mumbles, stripping away your shirt before lifting you up with ease as he navigates through his apartment with such expertise. his lips never leave your skin, planting open-kisses to your neck, leaving little nibbles here and there that would probably leave light marks for you to see after all of this.

once reaching his room, you gently tosses you down on his bed, “take a look ‘round and see if this satisfies your curiosity.” he says, motioning to the familiar set up you took in as his background whenever he streams. “could easily open up that camera and fuck you for the whole internet to see, would you like that?” kento asks you, pointing to the camera that was directed at his bed. “as much as i would want that, wanna keep you as mine for tonight.”

the pure filth that was leaving his lips caused your brain to malfunction, unable to form any words from being so overwhelmed already, he shakes his head. “already a dumb baby? how will i fuck you stupid then, little slut?” he tsks, going down on his knees and tugs you to the end of the bed.

easily slipping off the boxers you were wearing, he groans at the sight of your sopping cunt. “such’a good fuckin’ girl for me.” he groans lightly, his big hand gripping at your thigh as his tongue took a teasing kitten lick at your folds, humming at how sweet you tasted for him. “so wet and i haven’t even done anything yet?”

“m-mhm, s’all for you, sir.” you respond, looking down to meet his gaze, your hand slowly reaching over to grip at his hair which earns another groan from him.

“gonna make sure you only know my name by the end of the night.” was the last thing he said before latching onto your clit, tongue swirling around your clit. his free hand ghosting against your hole, middle and ring finger gathering enough of your arousal before dipping in, filling you quite well.

your hips buck up as you feel his fingers enter, “t-too big, nami…” you sputter out, already losing it at the idea of his dick fucking you senseless later on.

kento was about to lose it; he was a man of self-control but something about the way you react has him wanting to see more of you, to gauge more reactions from the touches he gives you. nanami wanted it all.

“gonna have to prep you, sweet thing. needa make sure you’re ready for daddy.” he answers, fingers doing quick work of finding that one spot that made sure to have you writhing underneath him. seeing how your face contorted into one of pure bliss, he knew he had it.

with his tongue doing laps around your clit and his fingers fucking you so well, you could feel the tightness forming at the pit of your stomach. “g-gonna cum, nami…” you manage to say, your moans filling up his room as you struggle to control your movement against him.

you hear him hum, his ministrations never stopping until you feel yourself come undone, nanami’s fingers ride out your high before pulling away once you settle down. you’ve never cum that hard before and you want more.

whining lightly at the sudden loss of his fingers inside you, your eyes watch eagerly as he licks his fingers clean, his stare at you filled with lust. “w-want you in me, sir.” you beg, hand reaching up to palm him through his sweats, earning another groan from him. “please… need you so bad.”

and who was kento to decline? making quick work of his swears, your mouth watered at the sight of his cock, freed from the constraints of his pants with his tip smeared with his precum.

sitting yourself up, he stops you and shakes his head. “gonna pleasure you first baby, can do that some other time.” he says, positioning himself on top of you. the tip of his dick ghosting against your hole.

“don’t… don’t think it would fit.” you mumble softly, already whining at the feeling of his tip teasing you. “gonna have to make it fit then, princess.” he says, slowly sinking into you.

the both of you groan in satisfaction; the feeling of your tight walls wrap around him so well and the burn of his length enter you already causing so much euphoria

once he bottoms out, he stays just for you to adjust to his size. once you nod, he rocks his hips into a steady rhythm, his groaning music to your ears. “s-so fuckin’ tight baby. gonna make me cum so soon.” he grunts, voice a bit gruff as you let out another whine.

“go faster, nami, please. want it rough.” you beg, throwing your head back at how he fills you up so well, just wanting to feel every bit of him. “you sure, baby?” he asks, lifts his head to look at you, adoring your already fucked out expression.

“mhm, use me, please.” you beg.

with your verbal permission, nanami relents. his thrusts were sharp yet hit the exact same spot every time. with his free arm snaking down, his thumb does quick work to rub circles around your clit, overstimulating you even more.

his lips bite into your skin, leaving nasty lovebites as your fingertips drag along his skin, leaving red marks along his back. it was mixed with your light and airy moans, his low grunts and occasional curses and praises about how well you were taking him; t’was pure filth with the sound of skin slapping resonating in the room.

“k-kento, sir, i’m- i’m close!” you squeal, hips bucking up uncontrollably as tears form in your eyes; overwhelmed with pleasure from his fingers and cock.

kento’s drunk on the feeling of your pussy squeezing him right with your legs wrapped around your waist, he couldn’t get enough. “gonna cum in you, yeah? gonna make sure your pussy’s dripping with my cum.” he gruntles, his thrusts becoming sloppier as he starts to chase his own high. “look so fuckin’ pretty with those tears runnin’ down your face, angel.”

his words of praises sent you over the edge, nodding desperately as your grip around him tightens. you feel yourself cum for the second time tonight and nanami rides out your high, his own coming soon after, filling you up.

he thrusts in you one more time, causing you to react and shake your head, “t-too much, nami.” which he understands and slowly pulls out, watching as thick white beads drip from your cunt mixed with your own arousal.

kento leans in and presses a kiss to your lips, “gonna be back in a bit, sweet girl.” he mumbles and leaves, reappearing with a towel and a glass of water in his hands soon after. “here.” he says, giving you the glass and stars to clean you up gently, his hands light and makes sure to leave nothing.

putting the glass of water on the bedside table, you hold his wrist and tug on it. “please don’t leave, nami. just want you here.” you mumble, patting the space next to you.

the blonde obliges and lays down beside you, easily pulling you into his embrace and tightens his hold on you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “gonna be here by your side for as long as y’ want me to, sweet thing.” he says, shutting his eyes to relax himself.

“next time we do this, we’re fucking for everyone to see.”

peepeepoopoo camboy!nanami says to reblog, pretty please !! >__<

#haha i hate that i was shadowbanned #i hope this shows up now #please #i just want to write #jujutsu kaisen nanami kento #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento x y/n #nanami kento smut #nanami kento x reader smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen nanami smut

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facts-i-just-made-up · 9 months

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Can I get uhh............ Some facts about facts?

The facts machine was invented by Xerox in 1964. This is not the company now called Xerox which took her name, but Xerox C. Samsung, founder of the company Hewlett-Packard.

The facts machine was capable of transmitting images and text across phone lines, which had been invented the previous year by Alexander Graham Cracker while attempting to string two cups together for a new sport he intended to call "CornBoloHoleHolio."

The first facts machine was able to transmit at a rate of 0.0033 bits per second, so the first facts ever sent, which were facts about the differences between jam and preserves, took 45 hours to send, and came out garbled because the receiving printer device was jammed, and thus it has not been preserved.

Modern facts machines, such as tumblr, are much faster, but are plagued by fake facts written by blogs such as "ultrafacts," "did-you-know," and "staff." Thus, no facts on tumblr should ever be trusted, except for these facts in this post, from this blog.

#fact #facts #trivia #fax machine #unreality

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femmepathy · 8 months

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teehee i got an old xerox real book who wants to have a jam session

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cchapsticck · 10 months

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Fake Title:

Homesick at Space Camp

(what did you think I wouldnt give you something in theme)

send me a made-up fic title and I'll give you a premise!

I posted this ask game a few days ago and, as you know, I have been occupied between Birth Festivities and also My Job And Closing A Show but know that you forced my hand here: (it isn't necessary that one have read RED ATMOSPHERES but it uh. helps.)

Homesick at Space Camp tw: referenced addiction and recovery

Inpatient fucking bites. Leaving inpatient is fucking worse. And that’s got something to do with a fundamental lack of trust in the guy walking out the front door despite an active attempt to make amends with that particular fuckup, and less to do with the miles of broken glass of his own he’s just dragged his soft, naked belly through for the last month and more to do with looking Wayne Munson in the eye. Wayne’s old pickup’s rolling fucking coal, engine running, in the parking lot outside the state funded joint he’d called mi casa for the last 32 days because he’s done his fucking nickel and he only had one emergency contact on his intake form because the only phone number he’s ever been able to commit to memory was a landline in Indiana. “I’m supposed to give you this.” he manages to croak out, standing on the driver’s side of the Chevy, all grown ass adult, 31 years old and everything. Wayne’s got the window down and his arm hanging out the side, AM radio turned down low through the blown out speakers, looking straight out the windshield. He’s had to do a real cataloging of all of his shit on a pretty short schedule these last couple weeks; enumerate the ways and the shit that haunts his brain and his bones and all the different forms running away can possibly take. Figure out what he’s lost - where the holes are and what he’d like to get back, the kinds of aspirational shit that’s maybe grounded indefinitely - y’know, like personally - shit that’s gone unsaid that needs saying if there’s any future that has him in it and the sum of it has revealed a humiliating running theme. (He knows that’s his lingering commitment to a sense of dickheaded I’m Fucking Fine talking - the thing about it being humiliating - he can hear Bonnie from group’s voice politely but firmly reminding him that he deserves grace - but being a creature that thinks or feels any kind of thing about any kind of thing at all remains a new and raw kind of existing and he’s still stress testing the whole thing. So. Y’know. Trial and error here.)

Handing Wayne a folder with doctor’s names and emergency numbers and group meeting schedules, Great Lakes area outpatient programs, pamphlets on signs of relapse, bills he’s not sure anyone’s got the money to pay, feels not too dissimilar to handing Wayne another notice from the school board that he’s fucked it up again and he has to choke down a stale guilt that’s nearly a decade old. Same flavor of fucked up and guilty and sorry and scared he’s been on his bathroom floor and Reid’s couch and the bedroom floors of strangers in different ways. Same way he’s been homesick for places and people that don’t exist anymore left to haunt his own skeleton all these years.

Wayne takes it, flips through the xeroxed charts and glossy three fold infographics hums to himself with an accompanying eyebrow gesture briefly at, fuck, something, and he just stands outside the fucking truck and starts to hope Wayne will just floor it and leave him coughing on diesel fumes and he can just spend the rest of his life here on the curb.

But Wayne tosses the whole thing up on the dashboard, pushes it down towards the vents so it's jammed down in there, won’t slide when he takes a turn too tight - which he will if Wayne still drives like shit, keeping all his expired Plant parking passes company and jerks his head towards the passenger seat minutely and just says;

“Lets get you home, kid.”

#prompts #bettiebloodshed #fic: metalhead #eddie munson #stranger things fic

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bludgeoningbutch · 7 months

Text

Nothing more erotic than a xerox machine screaming and beeping after getting jammed. She's like eeek!! I'm overstimulated give me a break!!

#nsft #im unwell #the new flesh

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queersrus · 1 year

Note

Hi, Fukase anon here! Sorry, It never occurred to me that people may have a hard time coming up with things for characters they don't know a lot about. Sorry :( /gen

Anyways, I really love the clown and red theme ideas! Also, since Vocaloid is technically a music software, I was thinking some music-themed names as well! Also, as long as this isn't too specific, could you maybe do some X-themed things since there's a lot of Xs in his design?

I also like the idea of the darker, edgier themes, but I'd rather not have anything explicitly horror/slasher/demon related... as someone who kins Fukase, being associated with that stuff brings back some rough memories :( /nm

I'm sorry if I'm being too specific or picky or anything like that, and I hope everything I've said makes sense! Once again, thank you in advance :)

no worries!!

heres some names and pronouns based of red, clown, dark/edgy themes and the letter x!

Music names:

muse, musa, musica, musette harmony melody, mic, major, minor clef, capelle, capella, cord, chorus note key tone, tempo, timbre bar, beat, bridge, bass, blue, blues sheet, strum, song, singer, sang, string, sonata, soul acoust, adagio, allegro, andante, arpeggio, amp, alto, aria instro, instra, instrumenta rythm/rhythm, ryme/rhyme, rock, rocker orchest, orchestra pitch, pop funk

list here, here

red names:

Altemur, altan, autumn, apple, amaranth, alhambra, alroy danla, desire, desiree parichat, phoenix, pepper, poppy/poppie cher, cherry/cherrie/cherri, crimson, clifford, copper, candy/candie, currant, carmine, carmin, chili, coral, corsen, clancy maroon, merlot, mahogany, mohagan blood, brick, berry/berrie, blush, burgundy, barn, burn, blaze ruby, rust, rusty, rose, raspberry, redd, rede, redde, reder, redi/redie/redy, reddet/redet/reddett/reddette/redett/redette, redeta/reddeta/reddetta/reddeta, redin/redine, redina, redino, roso/rosso, rufus/rufous, rowan, rosa, rosie, roisin, rory, radley, rudyard, radcliff, redmond, redman, rumo, russel/russell, rohan, redford, rufina, reeding/reading, reed, rogan, roone, roth garnet, ginger, gough scarlet, sangria, strawberry, sienna, sorrel/sorrell jam wine, watermelon fire, flame, ferrari, flan/flann, flannel, flanner, flannery, flyn/flynn, flanna vermilion, venetia imperia tart, torch hazel, harkin

clown names:

Joseph, john, joey grock oleg emmett/emet/emmet/emett bozo, barry ronald krusty penny, pogo, pinto charles sunshine weary, willie albert, antonio, arthur daniel, david, demitri/dimitri, Demetrius/demitrius tinsel

actually found a whole wiki here

Dark/Edgy names:

dusk, dagger, draven, drake, draco, damon/daemon, damion/damien/damian grey/gray, gunner/gunnar, greer keir, khaos, knox, kestrel umbra, umbro poison, pain/payne asteroth/astaroth, asher, ammo, astrid chaos, crow, coen, chase, casper, caspian, cassian, carter, cage, colton hades, hemlock, hex, hunter, hawk, harper somber, sombre, sombra, serpent, snake, saber, stone, storm, slade/slayde, sparrow, salem, snow, smoke, slayer necro, natrix, nox, nix, nyx, nero, nash branwen, briar, blackwell, blade/blaid, blair, blase/blaze/blaise raven, reven, requiem, rhapsody/rapsody, rogue, ryder, ryker, raze, razer eris, elysium, ebony jinx, jett/jet, jack, jason lucien, lucius, lock/locke viper, venom, vlad, vane/vain/vein, veil, vee/v wolf/wolfe trix/tryx, trixie, thorn, tyren/tyrin, tirent, torrent, tyranny, toxin, tank, tempest, tanner zeke, zena fox, flask, falkner, falkon/falcon onyx/onix, obsidian xena

X names:

xen/xene, xavier, xena, xeno, xenon, xeon, xero, xerox, xyx, xyr/xyre, xyra, xray, xeny/xenny/xenie, xenia, xander/xzander, xyla, xyler/xylar, xia, xavi, xylia, xylitol, xioa, xu, xan, xanth/xanthe, xanthus, xavia, Xinjiang, xinia, xenophon/xenophone, xayvion/xavion, xochitl, xio, xion, xiona, xiomara, ximena, xanthia

many here

red 3rd p pronouns:

list here and here

clown 3rd p pronouns:

list here and here

edgy/dark 3rd p pronouns:

list here, here

x 3rd p pronouns:

xe/xem, xy/xem, xy/xyr, xe/xyr, xy/lo, xylo/phone xyi/lotl, x/x's, ex/ex's, ex/exes, xay/xem, xay/xyr, xie/xem, xie/xyr xe/no, xeno/xenos, xeno/morph, cross/crossed, cross/crosses, x'ed/out, exed/out, ex/amble

hope these help!

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gritboy · 10 months

Text

Cartilaginous Comics

The last big jam comic committed by the Wow Cool founders. Serious abuse of the Tundra Publishing Xerox machine is involved. Only a couple of these left. 40 page black on blue minicomic Wow Cool, 1993

View On WordPress

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palmspapers · 6 months

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arhamturnout · 1 year

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sinar-mandiri-indoprint · 1 year

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lokevamil · 2 years

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dwnlwireless976 · 2 years

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Hp 6978 office jet pro user manual

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