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yeehawbvby · 2 years

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Falling Away With You | Ch. 10

Sebastian x F!Reader and M. Rasmodius x F!Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: Seb infodumps on you a little. Also, tension go BRRRRRRRR

Author’s Note: I'm sorry in advance for the way I formatted text messages. Tumblr's editor is hard and I gave up.🧍

Edit: Messed with the texting portion again. It's still sloppy, but hopefully y'all like it better. ^^"

Table of Contents + Work Summary

Check it out on ao3!

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At least Seb isn’t pushy, I’ll give him that. Sure, he’s awfully present today, but he hasn’t done anything to make me actually uncomfortable. I enjoy spending time with him, hormones and confusion and all.

I finish straightening my hair relatively quickly, and decide this look isn’t complete enough without a necklace. I grab one from my drawer — a black leather choker, with a faux pearl in the middle — and clip it around my neck. I take a deep breath, and march back out of the room, ready for whatever sweet or sexy Seb is going to hit me with this time…

Aaaaand he’s gone.

I still smell tobacco, though. I step out onto the porch and see exactly what I’d hoped and expected.

“Your breath is probably gnarly right now,” I half-joke.

“What, you don’t think morning breath, coffee and cigarettes mix well?”

I shudder at the thought. “Y’nasty…”

He takes me in for a moment, wordlessly. Making me feel all shy. “Your hair looks nice today,” he dreamily grins.

I mutter out a wimpy thank you, playing with and inspecting the ends of my hair. I should trim this soon, it’s getting a bit dead.

Seb leans against the banister and runs his fingers through his own messier tresses. I’m seeing his forehead for the first time, and it doesn’t disappoint. I wonder if he’d ever wear a headband or hair clips.

“So,” he blows out some smoke, “since you haven’t kicked me out, I’m gonna do it myself after I finish this.”

“Lame,” I respond, trying not to sound as disappointed as I feel.

“What, can’t get enough of me?”

He sounds so cocky… no, I can’t, actually, you mother fu— actually, y’know what? Kill ‘em with kindness, they say.

“No,” I smile.

He smiles too, widely, almost looking sort of giddy. A faint blush forms across his cheeks.

“What?” I laugh, leaving my spot near the steps to lean against the same railing he’s occupying.

“I just… didn’t expect that.” He looks down at the cigarette between his fingers and continues, picking the nail polish on his thumb. “You’re sweet.”

I ruin the moment, playfully elbowing his side. He nudges me with a hip bump.

Until he finishes his smoke, we don’t say anything. Neither of us are fans of sun, but we seem to be basking in it. Together. Well, to a certain degree. As long as I have a hand up to block some light from my weak sensitive baby eyeballs, I’m solid.

Once Seb’s finished, he walks to the steps to put it out in the dirt, and then fucking pockets it. Can’t that still potentially burn a hole? Whatever. I’ll order an ashtray for when he’s around here. He walks down the stairs and heads to the right, towards the backwoods that’ll take him home.

“So uh,” Seb says loud enough that I can hear, walking backwards so he can see me. “See you in a bit?”

A bit? I nod calmly, but can’t control the smile I break into. It’s fucking rad that he wants to be around me just as much as I want to be around him. I lean onto the banister closest to him, trying to seem cooler than I feel, as I respond.

“You should come back once you’re, like, decent or whatever.” I hope I don’t sound too desperate.

He stops, biting his lip and looking to the sky, seeming to think about it. “Nah. I have work to do.”

Oh. Aw…

“ You come to my house,” he demands.

Oh!

“Yeah, sounds good, dude.”

“I’ll text you when I’m ready, yeah?”

“‘Kay.”

He waves and turns around, I wave and watch him leave for a second in disbelief. If there’s anything I distinctly remember him — and, like, everyone else — mentioning, it’s that he prefers to be alone. Like, he really values his privacy.

What’s making me the exception to that? It’s not like I’m anything special. Sure I look decent, I guess. Decent enough that I’m a hot commodity in the valley as we established earlier. But that’s just eye candy. Does he really just feel that safe around me, that we can just vibe so easily together? That shpeel of his yesterday, about feeling cozy around me… it wasn’t just a fluke?

I grin at the thought. Turns out, it’s nice to feel valued. Who knew?!

While I wait for Seb to get ready, I’ll eat something and get started on some more designs for Mooncrest. Feeling antsy, I go for a walk to the saloon for some takeout instead of cooking. I grab a caesar salad with avocado and a soda, tip and thank Gus, and head back out.

I immediately feel something hard bounce against my leg upon exiting.

“Ow…” I mumble. I look down, and there’s a gridball rolling down the stoop and away from my feet.

“Sorry, beautiful.”

Oh dear god no…

I ignore the apology, looking over at the creep slowly approaching me. “Hello, Alex.”

There's always one or two dudes from everyone’s graduating class that never seem to leave their hometown. Bragging about being on varsity lacrosse or whatever when they’re going on 20, even 30. Hitting on local teenagers and young-looking adults alike, because of that weird BaReLy LeGaL fetish so many men seem to have while being in denial of their own rapid aging. Wearing old merch that screams their school spirit will never die.

Alex is that guy.

“I guess I need to work on my form, huh?”

I fake a laugh and hum my affirmation, readying myself to walk away.

“You excited for summer?”

Bro.

“No, not really,” I flatly answer.

“Yo, you’re wild,” he laughs, “summer is the best.”

“Different strokes for different folks, I guess.”

“Yeah. Funny you say stroke, I’ve been working on my backstroke over at the bathhouse.”

“Very cool, Alex.” My voice is absolutely dripping with sarcasm. He apparently has no idea.

“I can show you sometime, maybe you could come to the beach with me.”

Pass.

“We can work on our tans together, don’t want to look all pasty!”

I like pasty. Wait. He’s still talking?

He gasps, eyeing me ravenously. “Do you have a bikini?”

...Ew.

“Why don’t we make these plans another time,” I lie, wishing to spew out all the rude things I’ve been thinking while he rambled to me. “I’ve got some stuff to do.”

“Oh, right! I’ll see you around then, gorgeous!” he winks.

I sure hope not!

I swiftly turn on my heels and walk back towards the farm, feeling icky after that interaction. Alex seems nice at face value, but something just seems so off, so… nasty, about him.

When I make it home, Cannoli greets me by throwing up a few leaves next to my feet. Hello to you too, fucker. I carry him to his indoor water bowl, hoping he’ll rehydrate, and then I quickly clean up his little mess.

Yoba’s sake, I wanted to get some planning done before going to Seb’s. Coworking is nice, but I don’t know how diligent he’ll actually be. Will we really just coexist and do our jobs in the same room together, or is he gonna be goofy? What if I’m the one who feels goofy? Coding takes a lot of focus, though. He wouldn’t invite me over to hang out while he works if he minded the company.

Maybe I’m overthinking... I’m sure I’ll be fine.

After planning some ways to lay down a path and deciding where to put my animals when that time comes, my phone buzzes.

Sebastian > i don’t smell anymore

< thank yoba

< see you in like 20?

Sebastian > fuck you lol

> sooner

< what? why?

Sebastian > wanna see you

< ha, gross

Sebastian > -__-

< ;)

< omw

Sebastian > good girl

I squeak, blush, and feel my entire body heat up instantly as I read that last text. Great, he unlocked a praise kink I didn’t know I had. If he ever says that to me out loud, I’m going to melt on the spot. And now that he’s aware of the effect he has on me, he’s gonna love that shit.

I happily flap around my hands a little bit to shake out the nerves and the horny, shove the last few bites of salad into my mouth, and prepare to head out. I grab my satchel and throw in it my unopened Joja Cola, my supplies, and whatever I had stashed in the fanny pack I used yesterday.

Next, I slip on some black Vans, but stop myself from leaving, realizing I forgot something. Gotta give Cannoli his ritual goodbye pets. Because I’m not a monster.

__________________

“Hey (y/n)! Have a good walk?” Robin greets me from her desk.

“Yeah, I’ll never get tired of the views around here!” I hate this sort of small talk.

“Of course, me neither. What can I do for ya?” Right to business! It’s like she read my mind. Guess the spirits are feeling okay today.

“Nothing for now,” I say, walking to my usual spot across from her. “I’m actually here to see Seb.”

I rub the back of my neck, hoping she doesn’t react. It’s different seeing her now that I know her “plans” for us. I feel a little more on-edge.

She smirks. Oh god. Robin and Seb don’t resemble each other very much, but I can see exactly where he got that look from. She leans over the desk, looking like she’s ready to make a deal or some shit. Very Godfather-esque.

“Sebby’s taken quite a liking to you, hasn’t he?”

I shrug. “I hope he has. Would be kinda awkward hanging out with him if he didn’t,” I nervously laugh.

“Mhm,” she grabs her wooden mug — did she make that herself? — and takes a sip, eyeballing me. “You two have fun last night?” she interrogates. I squint at her and feel a blush creep up on me instantly. “I just want to know what you two were up to! No judgment!”

“I mean,” I shove my hands in my pockets and fiddle around with the fabric, “he walked me home, played with Cannoli while I made him some hot chocolate, and we fell asleep watching a movie. Nothing too fun or exciting.”

Robin hums. “Ok, ok, sounds like a good time… anything else?”

Robin narrows her eyes, with the same menacing grin on her face that her son sometimes shoots my way. She looks like she wants me to say more.

I’m noticing now how odd it is that I’m friends with a mother and son duo. She wants some hot gossip about my night, as any friend and lower-middle-aged woman would. I get it, truly. But at the end of the day, she’s my crush’s mom, for fuck’s sake!

“Robin.”

“(Y/n).”

I lean in and lower my voice, hoping her husband and daughter won’t hear from their lab across the hall. “Are you trying to imply that you think I had sex with your son last night?”

She matches my volume, “I’m just sayin’, he could do a lot worse!”

“Robinnnnn!” I desperately whine, facepalming. She snickers to herself. I point at her in the same way that some people point towards their dogs when scolding them. “We didn’t.”

She snaps, “Drat.”

I tilt my head to the heavens and groan.

“Mom,” I hear a velvety voice say from behind me. Thank fuck he’s here.

“Sebby.”

“What are you doing?”

“We’re just catching up a bit, right (y/n)?”

I look between the two of them, as they await my answer. I see Robin’s signature, mischievous eyebrow waggle and opt to focus on the tall emo boy.

“Please help me, Sebastian.”

Robin continues her calm, yet maniacal, laughter. Seb sighs and puts an arm around me, directing me to the basement, mumbling something to his mother about shutting up. I can’t help but laugh with her, honestly.

“She was doing so good at not openly shipping us, at least around me… then one night together, and bam! She thinks we’re fucking.”

“Oh my god,” he plainly responds, closing his door behind him.

“Encouraged it, even,” I add.

“Oh my god! It was that bad?”

I haven’t looked at him, but his amused malcontent is evident in his voice. I break into a full-blown giggle fit while nodding in response, as I put my things down on the couch adjacent to his desk.

“Your mom actually brought up something I’ve been thinking about,” I tell him.

“You were thinking about fucking me, (y/n)?”

Yeah, and I’ll do it again, I think to myself.

I flop down next to my bag. Seb removes his hoodie, revealing a little midriff in the process. Mmmmm. It’s followed by a white shirt with black sleeves, which he immediately rolls up to his elbows. This is a great look on him. He seats himself next to me.

“Ignoring that question,” I softly elbow him. “What I was going to say is that for such a so-called loner, you seem to like being around me.”

I do a little shimmy as I reach for my phone, curiously about the time. That reminds me, does he actually have a half-naked photo of me on his camera roll now, or was that a bluff? I’ll have to ask about that.

“Yeah, I guess I do.” He’s so precious when he’s being sincere. “I feel like I can be myself around you.”

“Can’t around Sam?” I inquire, unable to stop before I realize how nosy I’m being. I mentally smack myself in the face.

He sighs, heavily.

“I dunno. Sam goes crazy if he’s alone for too long. He DMs me almost every day, begging me to go to his place.” He leans his head back and closes his eyes. Sweet Yoba, he has a nice neck…wait no, not the time. Focus, (y/n)! “Doesn’t care if I’m working with a deadline or something, because he doesn’t think I have a ‘real’ job. I like having him around, but it’s a bit much sometimes.”

“Bummer… Abby?”

He scoffs. “Not anymore. That girl has no boundaries.” Wow, really? Haven’t noticed! “She’s nice, but she just doesn't take no for an answer. I could say I’m working, sick, anything and she’ll stop by anyway and complain about being bad at Prairie King, or about how bored she is. Like, no shit, dude. If I'm working I can’t exactly entertain.”

He leans up and starts picking at his nail polish, seeming to get angry just thinking about it. I guess this might be what peeved him so badly, when he caught her staring me down at the saloon.

“And then my mom gives me shit for being a bad friend and rejecting their plans with me all the time, or sitting at my computer too much, because she probably doesn’t think my job is real either.

And then I catch shit from Demetrius because I’m not as accomplished as his daughter. Because he loves to ignore the fact that I’d easily be totally independent from him by now if I’d entered the corporate rat race. Yoba forbid I get successful doing anything else. If I leave this room I’m being harassed by fucking everyone, obviously that would make me aversive towards people.”

As I nod along, I silently hope that he feels better ranting about it, considering I accidentally started this. I can only do so much to take away all this shit he’s dealing with. I start playing with a stray thread on his sleeve, not really noticing that I’m doing it until he shows that he does. He seems to lean a little bit into my touch, and so I lean onto his arm, still twirling the string around between my fingers.

“Sam seems like a good guy, and Abby…” I pause, trying to be careful with my word choice here. “I dunno. She’s nice? I guess? I… dunno. But I definitely get those weird and clingy vibes from her.” He nods. “And you know I’m pretty close with your mom… sure she’s made comments here and there, but she thinks you turned out decently and she tries to ‘get’ you, I know that much.”

Seb tenses up, and I put my other hand on his arm. Fuck, it just occurred to me that trying to be kind towards them probably just sounds like I’m “siding” against him.

“Look, I don’t like talking badly about people even in a context like this. Feels weird… But, I know for certain that it isn’t great that you have all these people in your life that care about you, and yet they don’t respect you. Or at least your job, and your social battery. Regardless of how good any of their intentions might be, that sucks.”

He eases up a bit. Phew.

“You’re the one experiencing all this. So it doesn’t matter what your friends, or your parents, or any other people living in this stupid little town think. In the end, Seb, you’re the one who’s being put down and hurt. I’m really sorry you have to deal with that.”

He takes a moment to process things. I hope he needed the validation; that I didn’t cross a line by interrupting his rant to give my own two cents. I just sorta selfishly wanted to help.

“I appreciate that a lot, (y/n)… thank you,” he responds, resting his head atop mine. “I wish they would apologize though, you know?” he quietly admits. I nod in response. “They really just think I sit here and surf the web all day. Everyone thinks my friends are more productive and valuable than me, just because they leave their rooms more often than I do. It fucking hurts, (y/n).”

I don’t know how to respond without sounding like a broken record or getting too sappy, so I give his arm a little hug. I have an inkling of a feeling that touch is his love language, just based on our interactions so far. I hope I’m right, because holy shit, he’s comfy.

“Using my body again, huh?” I can’t see his face but I know there’s a cheeky grin on it.

I pull away, about to argue that it isn’t my fault he’s a wonderful pillow. But before I can say anything, he wraps his arm around me and pulls me to his chest.

He whispers, “Sorry for shoving all of my shit at you like that, out of nowhere. I didn’t mean to, I just—”

“Don’t worry about it,” I cut him off. “You don’t need to apologize. I’m really glad I can be here for you.” I sink into his chest a bit further. “Thanks for trusting me, Sebastian.”

He gives me a tiny squeeze, and chuckles. “Full-naming me, huh?”

“Shut up…”

I can hear and feel his heartbeat on my cheek, which in turn rushes the beating of my own. His pulse seems pretty steady, for such an avid smoker. I put my hand on his lower belly to play with yet another loose thread. Must be an old shirt. His heart quickens its pace. I giggle, knowing that I have that sort of power.

“Hm?”

I reach up, placing my palm against his chest. “Your heart…”

It goes a little bit faster as I point it out. Heh, I like this game.

“Whatever…”

I chuckle and I look up at him, meeting his gaze, which I didn’t even know was on me ‘til now. How long has he been just watching me up there?

Oh fuck, it’s like that moment with Sam again. Seb is just inspecting me. And I feel just as calm as that night on the beach, but so much more giddy. I ball up the part of his shirt that I’m touching into my fist, stimming my butterflies away the best I can.

I study Seb’s profile, since the opportunity basically presented itself on an obsidian platter.

His eyebrows are thick, but well-kempt. He has perfect cheekbones. A few light birthmarks scatter around his skin, just like on the arm that was draped around me this morning. He’s got long, dark eyelashes framing his blue, almost purple eyes. And his lips aren’t thick, just average-sized, I guess, but they’re nice. So nice.

They look so soft. This is my first time smelling his “normal” breath. The scent of his cigarettes lingers, because of course, but it’s spearminty otherwise. Sweet, almost.

I wonder if he tastes sweet, too.

Sam pussied out of kissing me, and I was thankful. I didn’t really want to kiss him, nor did I want to deal with the baggage of it. Seb, on the other hand…

I’m pulled from my stupid little fantasy when Seb wets his lips and smirks. I shudder at the sight, but not without realizing I’ve been staring at his mouth for such a hot minute. Fuck.

I lower my eyes and reposition, my face and ears hot, and mumble a quiet “sorry.” This earns a laugh and some light head rubs from Seb. I still wish that wasn’t so comforting…

I feel myself dozing off a little after a few minutes of snuggling against his strong heartbeat, but manage to jolt myself awake.

“Oh god damnit,” I yawn, standing up to stretch.

“Hm?”

“Mm'sleepy.”

I grab the soda from my bag and crack it open, promptly downing it. He laughs at me, then checks his phone.

His phone…

Hm…

Oh!

“Hey,” I try to sound serious as I sit on the couch, up on my knees so that I can level myself with him. He looks a little surprised, but tickled. Haha so funny, local sMoL bEaN tries being assertive! Ugh. “Did you actually take a picture of me in my underwear?”

He chuckles, but doesn’t answer, directing his focus back to his device. I’m about to try and regain his attention, thinking he’s ignoring me for shits and gigs. But then, he holds it up. And there I am, in all my unclothed glory... I do look kinda spicy from that angle, not gonna lie, but that’s not the point!

“Oh my fucking god,” I deadpan.

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“Why?”

“You told me to,” he states, giving me that evil grin again.

I nod and suck my bottom lip to process this. “Cool! Delete it?”

“If you want me to, sure.”

“I mean,” I cross my arms and plant my butt onto the cushion next to him, my body twisted to face the left side of his. “Why would you need it, now that you’ve… proven your point, or whatever the fuck.”

He inhales deeply, but holds that stupid, devilish, punchable smile, and turns his body towards mine.

“Do you want the honest answer, (y/n)?”

…Fuck.

I’m entranced by the dark smolder he’s giving me. I wanna hear him say what I think he’s going to say, what I hope he’s going to say, no matter how embarrassing it might feel. I nod my head and mutter quietly, smirking, wanting to match his energy the best I can. Confidence is key.

“Yup. Full truth.”

“Well.”

He leans in just as tantalizingly close as he did this morning, in my bed, trapping me against the arm rest. He’s blushing wildly, but I can tell he’s loving this. He knows he’s a tease, and it’s been confirmed he enjoys being one. And he knows I do as well.

“You’re ridiculously sexy…”

Oh my god. He’s leaning in more, and his lips are literally grazing mine as he speaks, but not quite closing the gap. The sensation is making me squirm.

“…and I don’t know if I’ll ever get to see you like that again,” he continues bluntly. “So I wanted something to look back to, just in case.”

Oh no.

Parroting his sly comment from earlier, I narrow my eyes. “Were you thinking about fucking me, Sebastian?”

He pulls away a little to snort back a laugh. His eyes locked onto my own, he nods, and then murmurs, “Yeah, I was.”

I can’t form words so I just let out a breathy laugh in response. I lean my forehead up onto his, roll my eyes shut, and grab a fistful of his top in each of my hands, groaning. It feels as if I’ve just done a workout, and this will help me recover.

Reactively, he cups my face in his hands. He is absolutely destroying me. I want him so badly, but we’ve never even kissed. This is, like, fast, no? Maybe not. Ugh. I want to kiss him, but I don’t have those sorta balls.

But like… wow.

“Seb?”

He hums curiously, but I don’t even know what to say. I just want to say his name. Over, and over, and over. I just shake my head, and he seems to accept that.

We continue to observe each other, up close, rubbing noses, still refusing to close the gap between our mouths. Teasing whatever’s to come next, if anything comes next. There’s nothing stopping us from just fucking kissing already, but we’re both content as is, intoxicated off of each other.

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cru5h-cascades · 1 year

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Splatoon 3 SIde Order Theory #2: It Was Lil' Judd All Along (Lil' Judd as the villian of the DLC)

Hey everyone! After seeing how well my first theory did (at least to my standards. I got a pretty small tumblr goin' on here, so any attention I get means a lot to me!), I decided to make another! In my first theory, I sort of teased what my next theory will be about, and now here we are! Anyways, let's just get into it already.

Even though there's already a bunch of damnning evidence that Lil' Judd might end up being the big bad in the DLC (getting the headpiece he wears after you beat hero mode, Lil' Judd's dialoge in Tableturf Battle, the note you get in the sunken scrolls, ect.), but I feel like the teaser for Side Order might have some sort of signs pointing to Lil' Judd being to blame for Inkopolis Square's downfall.

First, I want y'all to take a look at the mystery octoling (we dunno if she's Agent 8 or not... yet) standing in the square. Check out the color scheme going on (black, white, gray, and dark brown).

I dunno about you, but this scene in the teaser for Side Order kind of remind me of the Judds. These lil' guys are also black, white, and gray. I know I might be jumping to conclusions right now, but hear me out. So when the trailer for Splatoon 3's hero mode came out in September 2021, we were introduced to Alterna and the fuzzy ooze. The fuzzy ooze had hints of brown fur on it, just like a grizzly bear. As many of us know, people were throwing theories left and right about who the villian of the main game was gonna be, and many of us thought that it was gnna be Mr. Grizz, which ended up being true (however I felt like the reverse Grizzco laugh at the end of the trailer was a dead giveaway. I've played way too much Splatoon to not know how the Grizzco laugh sounds.). What if this is the direction the Splatoon devs are going again? Forshadowing the events of the game with some minor enviormental details?

Also, throughout the teaser, we see a bunch of freaky af imagery, one of which peaking my interest just a bit. The white brain thing that forms in the vid. I know I've already said that the brain formation pic might've hinted at zombie fungus being the reason why the Square is like this (see my first theory if you wanna know what I mean), but I feel like this could also point towards Lil' Judd being the villian of Side Order. You see, Lil' Judd's a clone of Judd. The brain that forms in the teaser is gray and white, like Lil' Judd. Maybe this is a small hint towards cloning being a major theme in the DLC. Speaking of which, we also get a pic of the mystery octoling with clones of herself following her. These clones are also gray and white.

Also, why would someone target the Square to begin with (Not counting Tartar. I don't really think they'd bring Tartar back, but if they did, I'd think it'd just be in a flashback to the Deepsea Metro, whatever that may look like or be about.)? Lil' Judd was first introduced in Splatoon 2 and we first learned about Lil' Judd's hate for Judd in 2. What if Lil' Judd finally broke and wanted to try to wipe out Judd's legacy, starting with were Lil' Judd and Judd first met? Maybe destroying the Square is just phase 1 of Lil' Judd's plan? Maybe this is all just in preperation to kill Judd (as that one note Lil' Judd wrote in the sunken scrolls implies)?

With that being said, who do you guys think will be the big bad in the DLC? Do you guys think it's Lil' Judd or someone else? I'll most likely make more theories if any come to mind or if we get another trailer for SIde Order, so look out for those and remember to staaay fresh!

#splatoon #splatoon 3 #splatoon 3 dlc #splatoon side order #splatoon theory #theory #rb > likes #lil judd

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howaboutcastiel · 1 year

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I posted 369 times in 2022

That's 365 more posts than 2021!

143 posts created (39%)

226 posts reblogged (61%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@romanarose

@toracainz

@my-secret-shame

@howaboutcastiel

@joyful-soul-collector

I tagged 151 of my posts in 2022

#moon knight - 126 posts

#steven grant - 110 posts

#marc spector - 104 posts

#jake lockley - 87 posts

#moon knight x you - 67 posts

My Top Posts in 2022:

Make Your Acquaintance (Jake Lockley)

Summary: Reader is in an established relationship with Steven and Marc but has never met Jake before and is intimidated by his reputation. When an emergency requires Jake to take control for a while, you decide that it's time to introduce yourself.

Make Your Acquaintance Masterlist

I know the gif is Poe Dameron don’t come for me.

Word count: 5.5k

Content: brief violence and gore, reader is injured (not life-threatening) angst, fluff, whatever. Poor use of Spanish. Gender neutral reader.

Note: I don’t know what this fic is. I don’t know who it’s for. I just kinda wrote it. Drink up boys. Also thank for 100 followers! I am not worthy!

See the full post

1,161 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

All I Desire (Steven Grant x Reader)

Word Count: 6.3k (I'm a mess)

Summary: Reader has not been in a relationship in a while and is scared to have sex with Steven for the first time. After learning of your fear of intimacy, Steven decides to plan an all-out date night to show you that you have nothing to worry about.

Pairings/Warnings: mentions of past relationship trauma, kinda angst I guess, fluff, smut (duh), plot with porn, Soft Dom! Steven x (afab) Reader, p in v, oral (f receiving), no Marc or Jake but both mentioned. Language is gender-neutral apart from anatomy.

Note: Not proofread. How do y'all just shamelessly write smut all the time I feel like I just killed god

See the full post

1,393 notes - Posted June 1, 2022

Two Steps Forward (Moon Boys)

[18+ content minors leave please]

Summary: A fun night with Jake ends up backfiring as Marc is triggered to front mid-coitus.

Content: Smut-ish, Angst, Fluff (the holy trinity). Handcuffs, impact play, getting triggered during sex, yelling and sad times. Reader is in an established relationship with moon boys.

Word count: 1.9k (aka the closest to a drabble you’ll ever see from me)

A/N: honestly this shouldn’t exist but now it does. Read it and weep. Also google cleared all of the formatting so UGH may be some mistakes.

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1,721 notes - Posted July 28, 2022

How Do I Ask? (Marc Spector x F!Reader)

[18+] VERY NSFW PLEASE GO AWAY CHILDREN [18+]

Summary: Marc is usually the one to initiate sex. At this point, the reader doesn’t even know how to seduce him (it usually doesn’t require any effort). When the reader wants a change of pace from him, though, she must deal with the conundrum of being the one to make the first move.

Word Count: 5.4k

Based on an anon request! Lots of love to that mystery person <3 I took some… liberties with the plot. Reader is my body type so sorry skinny gals and NB/FTM babes.

Content: Smut, Like a lot of smut, porn-IS-the-plot kinda smut. Protected sex (we’re not getting pregnant in THIS economy). Oral (M), roughness, a little bit of angst but it's horny angst. Oops there's 2k words of foreplay you can skip that if you want.

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2,041 notes - Posted July 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Not My Intention (Moon Boys x F!Reader)

Content Warning: mentions of physical/mental abuse

Word Count: 3.1k

Request (Abbreviated) @twhgirl

Could you write one moon boys x female!reader, where they've been dating for a while… They notice she gets anxious and startled very easily, but when they bring it up she always brushes them off so they don't pry. They don’t know she's previously been in an abusive relationship. And maybe they're at an office party and some guy comes to her when she's alone and the boys get jealous since it's obvious he's trying to flirt with their girl.

Content: Angst!! Fluff, poorly translated Spanish (obligatory) this shit is pathetic and soFT (not a comment on the recommendation just my writing) reader is dating the entire MK system

This is the first time I’ve tried to write in omniscient 2nd person so forgive me if I mess up the perspective somewhere <3 Thank you for the request!!! Much appreciated

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2,803 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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whimsyqueen · 2 years

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To Make a Fool of Death; The Vampire Rules

I mentioned yesterday that I wanted to make a post about the specifics of the worldbuilding in To Make a Fool of Death, and today is Worldbuilding Wednesday, so here it is! I'm still messing around with some ideas and things, but this is where I'm at right now. I'll be tagging the Vampire Club Taglist below!

First and foremost, it's important to note that To Make a Fool of Death began as a love letter to Tim Hutchings' 1,000 Year Old Vampire. I began writing Verity's story as a series of diary entries using that format, and I will be forever grateful to indie tabletop games and solo journaling games for allowing me that. Go check it out, if you get the chance!

Because of that, and because of a lot of my own biases towards vampire lore, a lot of what you're gonna see here is... pretty basic. If it ain't broke, don't fix it! However, there are a few things that I really love about Hutchings' vampire lore that I've decided to include and extrapolate on, because it makes this whole thing just so much more interesting for me.

I'm gonna talk in terms of Verity, mostly, because she's the main vampire we experience throughout the story (though there are a few more) and kinda go basic myth-by-myth, if y'all don't mind. If there's anything I miss or anything y'all have further questions about, please feel free to just ask me! I love talking about these guys, and will take any excuse to do it!

First Myth: Vampires can shapeshift into bats

True! I like this one, and so I decided to stick with it. Yes, Verity can turn into a bat. I feel like not enough vampire media utilizes this nowadays, most of them go straight for the mind-control powers. I get it, they're cool, I heavily considered them for a while (and they're present in Verity's original diary, but I've since edited them out) but turning into a bat is just so much cooler to me?

Second: Vampires cast no reflection

Also true! Listen, I know that this is based in the idea of pure silver having been used to make mirrors in the past and in the present is entirely irrelevant and wouldn't be the case, but there's just something so interesting and sad to me about a vampire not being able to check her reflection before she goes on a date. At around 350 years or so, Verity's gotten pretty good at knowing how she looks without mirrors, but still!!!

Third: Vampires cannot cross running water

False! Verity loves to travel, and does it frequently. She can go where she wants, when she wants, as long as it's at night (for personal reasons she stays away from churches, and Massachusetts.)

Fourth: Vampires are destroyed by sunlight

True! Sorta... Direct sunlight, yeah, fuck you, you're toast (HAH) because it will burn you to pieces Buffy-The-Vampire-Slayer style. HOWEVER. Indirect sunlight is fine! A day that is cloudy and gross and you can't see the sun in the sky because the rain is so thick? As long as you've got your long sleeves, parasol, sunglasses, etc, you'll be a-okay. Just keep an eye out for those changes in weather, you wouldn't wanna get caught outside with nowhere to turn...

Fifth: Vampires must sleep in their native earth/in a coffin

False! The Fool of Death vampires simply do not sleep at all, not in a coffin, not in the earth, not anywhere. They don't need to, they're designed to be the ultimate predators. Why sleep when you can hunt?

Sixth: Vampires are "undead"

True! You have to die to become a vampire, and often, humans can be saved from the cold embrace of death by getting turned into a vampire! The process of becoming a vampire will literally kill you and then bring you back, entirely changed. Vampires do not have a heartbeat, they do not have anything that would indicate that they "live" and they heal so fast that to cut one open and try to figure out what's going on inside would be entirely pointless (trust Verity here, she's tried to figure out her own anatomy via this process MORE THAN ONCE)

Seventh: Vampires must drink blood to survive

Hm... true, to a point. While Vampires do consume blood as their main source of food, it isn't impossible to go entirely without. However, the downside to this is that if you starve yourself long enough, eventually you enter what Verity refers to as the Blood Frenzy, which is where if there's blood around? You NEED to consume it. No ifs ands or buts, and you will consume it in the messiest, most immediate way possible. It really is best to just... not starve yourself here. And don't even start with the whole "animal blood" thing, no it doesn't work, it's the same as if a vampire were to try to eat a cheeseburger. It's gotta be human or nothing, babe.

Eighth: Vampires hate garlic

False! Vampires simply don't eat. They have no need to, and can't really... digest food in the same way that a human can. The same could be said for garlic as it could for all foods. They avoid them because there's just no point.

Ninth: Vampires cannot be killed/are immortal/invincible

False! While they're ALMOST invincible, they can still super die if you really really put your mind to it. The most effective way to go about it would be to behead the vampire, and then toss the body and the head into a big ol' fire (ideally a fire that you've pre-prepared, because you truly won't have that much time before the vampire wakes up again and starts trying to fix itself...) They'll only really burn if the body is in small enough pieces, though, so feel free to get creative!

Tenth: All vampires have sharp fangs with which to suck blood

Only halfway false. Most vampires do, yes, absolutely, without question. I think they're sexy. However, what I will say is this. All vampires have some sort of "mark" that designates them as one of their kind, and they can procure more "marks" the more inhuman acts they commit. The most common first "mark" that appears upon turning is yes, fangs, for almost everyone, but it's sort of like a genetic trait. Not everyone gets them. Other examples of "marks" like this are Verity's bright red eyes (which Benevolence received when she was turned) or various sort of stains on the skin (like magical evil tattoos that don't do anything). Sometimes they also present as indications of the way you were originally killed (the two dot scars on the neck, for example, appear on some, or the faint ghosts of other scars that have remained past the change from human to vampire.)

I hope you enjoyed reading this, and have gotten some decent insight into Verity's world and how she operates! Be sure to check back here for more info, I post as often as I can (and I'm a busy bitch rn)! See below the cut for the taglist, and how to join if you wanna stay up-to-date on all the vampire news!!

Thank you for reading! If you'd like to join the taglist, you can do so here! @athenixrose @bardic-tales @drowsy-quill @thelibraryofchaos @cyparissos @kittyphoenix12-xx @destiniescollide @aeipathys @fearofahumanplanet @cactusmotif @writeblrsupport @midnights-melodiverse @ninirito @antique-symbolism-main @annetilney @athenswrites @the-void-writes @wip-nook

#fool of death #vampires #worldbuilding #writeblr #my writing #my wips #verity #benevolence #ruby #Eleanor #matilda #creative writing #about the author #writer things #my ocs #writing community

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world-of-fire-and-flight · 2 years

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Content & Trigger Warnings on This Blog

(last updated 8/21/2022)

Originally, I put trigger and content warnings in both the body of my posts and in the tags using the "tw [warning]" format, however I haven't been as diligent about adding the hashtags since that whole iOS/App Store thing and my general fear of being shadowbanned for using them. While I know that's mostly been straightened out, I'm still hesitant about adding those tags, but I will absolutely continue to label my stories appropriately!

Moving Forward Warnings Will Be Used Like So:

Each and every story posted here will have a list of warnings at the beginning of each post under the author's note. I do my best to list all of the potential warnings and triggers, but if you find I missed one, please let me know so I can add it immediately :)

Sometimes, the warnings will be in red font or just the word "warning" and that's usually my way of indicating that there's some serious content warnings in there. For the most part I'd consider my writing to be pretty tame* and deals mostly with violence/physical fight scenes, manipulation, betrayal, medical scenarios, and death.

(*in this case I'm using "tame" not because the warnings aren't serious, but rather because they're generally not very graphic or hyper detailed. They can be, on occasion, but I usually try to note that too😊)

Example:

[Story Title]

A/N: [this is where I ramble and give credit to prompt creators if I'm using a writing prompt]

Warnings: [all relevant content and trigger warnings that I can think of before posting]

Example 2:

[Title]

A/N:

Warnings: [the list may also be in red font too, though I don't do that as often]

Example 3:

[Title]

A/N:

Warnings: [the list may also be in red font too, though I don't do that as often]

Please make sure to read the warnings because this one gets a little [graphic/heavy/a specific warning]!

Most Common Warnings I Give:

Betrayal

Manipulation

Violence

Physical assualt (usually in reference to the fact that there's a fight scene between the protagonist/antagonist)

Blood reference/mention of blood

Injury

Medical Scenario

Death (it's been brought to my attention recently that I've killed a lot of characters...)

Verbal Fight/Argument

Swearing (usually unlisted unless there's a lot. Generally, I try not to swear a lot in my writing as it's an old habit, but I'm loosening up and have added this warning when necessary lol)

How Graphic Is My Writing When It Comes To These Warnings?

I'd consider my writing to be fairly or very descriptive, but it really just depends on the warning and the overall concept of what I'm writing. Some days I focus more on the blood than the actual act what happened to that character. Some days I describe what happened to that character to varying degrees of detail and just mention the blood. I also tend to get a little carried away with descriptions of emotion/feelings too, so that's probably the most common way any warning would be considered "graphic," so it could be the reaction of what happened that's really graphic and not so much what actually happened. Unfortunately there's no way to forewarn everyone for their individual tolerance for these things, but I will say that if there's something in my writing that I feel like needs a stronger warning, I'll usually make a note of it in the Author's Note or the Warnings for that piece.

If you ever see the words "Please Heed Warnings!" or some variation of me telling to you see the warnings before reading, it's because I feel like that story gets pretty graphic in terms of one or more warnings and probably got to me while I was writing it.

In closing:

Please feel free to reach out to me with questions or if I ever miss a label! It's super important to me that my stories are properly labeled with the right warnings so that y'all can enjoy them safely :)

#blog maintenance #content and trigger warnings on this blog #blog housekeeping

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fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy · 3 years

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Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

#tales of arcadia #rise of the titans #trollhunters #rott #rise of the titans spoilers #rott spoilers #toa #3 below #athena's own original post!#jim lake jr #claire nuñez #toby domzalski

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redwinterroses · 3 years

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I’m doing my very best not to format this as a literary analysis paper but that’s basically what this is so forgive me if I slip back into those old habits at all. And I'm going to tag @betweenlands and @fluffy-papaya in this because guys look what your fic made me brainrot. XD

(This is a long one, y'all. We're talking 2k words. Sorry.)

That said:

Hey, let’s talk about the bead curtain in Dog at the Door.

That dang bead curtain, and why I’m currently fixating on it, and how I think it has symbolism that may or may not be intentional.

(At this point, I’m assuming it’s intentional. Everything about this fic is intentional. Including the pain. Heh. “The only difference between a running gag and a recurring theme is how seriously you take it,” says Solar. Cool. I’m taking it seriously.)

The curtain first shows up in chapter one. It’s one of the first things we see in the van, and the first thing we know about it is that Doc finds it obnoxious. Ugly. Revolting. Renbob loves it, obviously, but Renbob has odd tastes. Doc, on the other hand, literally uses his hatred of the curtain to motivate him to get out of bed in the morning.

The Red King, when he shows up, also has similar dislike of the thing, but his reaction is a little more measured, a little less extreme. More distaste, less disgust. He finds it “distasteful” and compares it to wearing a labcoat without a shirt (lol). But he doesn’t loath it like Doc does, and when Doc suggests (in chapter 13) that they take it down and use it for friendship bracelets, he’s as displeased with that idea as Renbob is. He has an ambivalent opinion, overall.

And then Ren. Ren actually reacts the least to the curtain—but ends up with the most dramatic interaction with it, which we’ll come back to in a second. He simply says (chapter 24) that normally he’d find the beads hideous, but that the light of Doc’s eye reflecting off it into the shadows makes it oddly peaceful.

There’s exactly one other use of the word “curtain” in this fic, and it’s this line right here:

“I haven’t done anything but possess him and lead his soul back to the controls.” RK throws his hands up in the air. “He’s put himself behind the curtain because he thinks I’m out to get him. My only crime is the original contract I made with him, doctor.”

In this instance, RK is talking about their “imperfect metaphor” of Ren being behind the curtain that separates the “driver’s seat” from the rest of the van that is Ren’s mind/soul. He’s saying that Ren has deliberately put himself in a position of defeat and surrender because he (Ren) doesn’t think there are any other options.

M’kay. Right about now, any sane person is going, “Red. Why are you so fixated on this bead curtain. It’s a running joke at best.”

And... I mean, sure. Kinda. But also definitely not.

This is the part where I really step out on a potentially-shaky limb with all the confidence in the world, because here’s what I'm seeing: the dividing line between life and death is often portrayed in literature as a curtain.

(And it’s interesting to note that the curtain is a barrier, a separation, but it’s only a curtain, and this one is made of beads at that. It’s a flimsy and fluid barrier, easy to pass through. Back and forth. Surrender and control, life and death.)

In fact, even in this fic it’s used that way: RK may be referring to the metaphorical bead curtain in their van of an explanation for how his and Ren’s relationship works, but in the story at that point Ren is convinced that he’s dead. Or is supposed to be dead. And by putting himself “behind the curtain,” he’s surrendering to that. Almost insisting on it, because that’s the truth of how he sees the world right then and he can’t process any other possibilities. He’s basically saying “I’m supposed to be dead, and this side of the curtain is death, so that’s where I’ll stay.”

So if the curtain in the metaphor represents the two sides of that, it’s really interesting to look at the various characters’ reactions to the literal bead curtain and see how it reflects their attitudes toward death—and specifically Ren’s death.

Renbob is... chill. He has an entirely comfortable relationship with the bead curtain, with life and death, with his own emotions—even with dealing with the emotions of the others he’s chauffeuring across the universe. While he isn’t immune to the grief of losing (or thinking he’s lost) Ren, he deals with it in a relatively healthy way—at least as much as we see. I think there was a possibly-canon ask at some point that said he was journaling and meditating so... yeah. Renbob’s got this. And 50 other bead curtains in storage. He’s the only character in the fic who passes in and out of the curtain regularly and without it being a big deal.

To put it simply: Renbob is on good terms with whatever happens in life, up to and including the end of it. (Renbob is arguably the equal and opposite of Grimdog. Two sides of the same coin in more ways than one.)

Contrast that now with Doc. Doc is... not a fan of the bead curtain. It represents a loss of control to him, (“freakin’ hippies”) and a separation from what he loves. In the past, he and Ren were on opposite sides of that conflict, and the beads still somewhat represent that tension (though in a mostly nostalgic, and not actively-antagonistic way.) But the language Doc’s narration uses to describe the beads is strong. “Obnoxious.” “Accursed.” “Horrendously evil.”

Nearly as scary as his best friend trying to kill him.

It’s played for laughs, obviously, and it is funny. But if we project the symbolism of “the curtain represents death” onto Doc’s reactions, it gets a bit less amusing. And it really fits with Doc’s attitude toward Ren’s death in the whole fic. It’s the worst thing he’s ever faced—to the extent that until RK’s seemingly-permanent presence forces him to, Doc doesn’t even try to process it. He goes right to work on the prosthetics, growls at anyone who tries to make him do anything he doesn't want to do, accepts RK as “New Ren,” and pretends that he’s going on with life.

He refuses to look at how weird the whole situation is, because if he does that he has to deal with Ren being gone forever. He ignores the thing that’s right under his nose and pretends it’s not there until a moment of quiet or actually having to interact with it brings it back to his attention, and then his reaction is vitriolic.

Doc hates that curtain, and he hates the concept of death, the concept of losing control. Even in his nightmares, he holds tight to what little control he can take, even if it’s just taking the initiative to sit in the snow and let it kill him faster. Hold onto that thought, because I’ve got more to it, but we have to talk about RK and Ren first.

RK holds both distaste and acceptance of the curtain. He doesn’t like it, but he doesn’t want it destroyed either. The distaste, notably, is when he’s with Doc, and the acceptance comes from being around Renbob. The Red King, as a blood god, is not exactly unfamiliar with death. It’s literally in his job description, but that doesn’t mean he has to like it. A necessary evil, if you will.

It doesn’t hurt either that, at least up until Ren, RK has always been the one on the other side of the curtain, completely in control of the situation. He goes back and forth on his attitudes, but in the past he has been the one in control and the bringer of death. His reaction is negative, but not emphatic—the way someone who has plenty of indoor plans might react to a rainstorm.

Ren... now, Ren. Ren has, like I said, the least recorded reaction to the actual, physical bead curtain. But. But. While he normally would call it hideous, “there’s something oddly peaceful about watching light fractals spin off the walls, cutting off into the shadows.” The shadows, it’s worth noticing, are specifically implied to be RK/hiding RK in this moment. Doc’s light and RK’s shadows interacting with the curtain bring peace to Ren. He passes through it easily to find Renbob.

Ren has already accepted his death—he accepted it long before the fic even started—to an extent that he’s actively insisting on it for a large portion of the story. It’s only when he realizes that Doc is in potential danger that he starts fighting RK for control of the situation again. (“Stay away from Doc, you bastard. He wasn’t part of our bargain. Leave him alone.”)

He dislikes the bead curtain, but he doesn’t hate it, and when seen in the (literal) light of Doc’s protective, watching eye—even if he is asleep at the moment, bless—even the shadows of RK’s presence are suddenly beautiful and peaceful to him in a way that, without the “reflecting fractals” of the beads, wouldn’t be possible. Again: this is the chapter where Renbob’s influence is felt, and his peace with life and death directly affects Ren and his reactions. (“It’ll all sort itself out, eventually, and I’ll be here for you while it does.”)

And then...

And then Ren rips down the curtain altogether.

The separation is gone. For better or for worse, that divide between control and surrender, between RK and Ren, between life and death... it’s gone. It’s scattered across the floor of the van, glittering in Ren’s hair, and in the carpet. Ren has broken through that barrier, and now we just have to wait to see what the consequences of that are for him.

But... we can already see at least one consequence for Doc. Because now there is no more illusion of control and surrender for him to maintain. That division is no longer there, and we see Doc’s first real surrender in the whole story. Even in his nightmares, he was still in control: he knew it was a nightmare, and he fought against it until he “gave up”—in a way that still put him in control. He chooses to sit in the snow so it’ll kill dream-him faster.

He acts like he doesn’t care, but it’s still not that: he takes control in the only way he knows, aware that everything is only a dream and no matter what how it treats him, he’ll still wake up in the end. He looks at the nightmare and says basically “Do your worst, I dare you, but you won’t get what you want from me.”

But now—now he surrenders to Ren. He gives up. His core truth (“I’ll do anything to protect those I love,” which I talked about in this post) looks like it’s not going to be enough to save them. He can’t save Ren—from RK or from Ren himself—and that means he’s lost in the worst way possible. In this moment, it looks like Ren doesn’t even trust that Doc’s core truth—that he will do anything to save his friends—is true.

This is Doc’s lowest point: that Ren seems to think Doc’s loyalty and love have failed. And to Doc... that’s a fate worse than death.

So he gives up. He tells Ren to kill him, and he fully expects him to do so. Doc doesn’t want to die, but at this point he has completely let go of any control of his own fate. Even when facing down Ren with the Skizz blade, he held tightly to his control of the situation. He literally takes the sword in his own hand and removes it as a threat. But now—now the curtain is gone. The illusion of control is gone.

Ren is the one in control of the situation—for possibly the first time in the fic—and he chooses to remember that Doc is his friend, that he’s missed him. But Doc leaves it all to him. Even when Ren backs off, Doc stays in that surrendered state (“I can’t do anything right, unlike [Martyn.]”). He realizes that he's been in the passenger seat the whole time, and he’s now where Ren was before: no longer even trying to take back the driver’s seat.

The curtain is gone. Now we just have to wait and see who ends up on which side of it at the end.

#long post #dog at the door #datd #i got about halfway through this yesterday and then was told that the bead curtain was important to today's chapter #and I thought: okay. I'll wait and it'll probably blow my entire theory out of the water.#and then NOPE turns out I'm pretty sure this is where it was going all along and I'm just a nerd who happened to notice

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rise-above-the-grave · 4 years

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[smashes down door] who is Bail and why do you like him? I could look it up but I'd rather you gush over him

OH BOY.

So first off, a quick (canon) history lesson: Bail Organa was the Senator and Viceroy (aka Prince Consort) of Alderaan. If you don't know what that means (because old titles are Weird - I'm not judging the only reason I know this is because of this very character), it means that Breha, Bail's wife, is ruling Queen of Alderaan and was the heir to the throne. She married Bail, making him a ruler by marriage, though technically she still held the crown. He, at some point, was also elected Senator of Alderaan, and was Senator leading up to and during The Clone Wars (and after, but we're getting to that).

So Bail, we come to find out, became (best) friends with Padmé Amidala. We see him in a couple of scenes in Attack of the Clones with Padmé, just kinda vibing and making the occasional commentary. We know he stood with her on the Opposition bill (the bill Padmé was nearly killed over at the beginning of AOTC, which was against the formation of a Republic military), though we don't learn much about the rest of his politics until later.

So he's kinda...there, but obvs isn't the focus of the story, and is really just a minor background character. The first real insight we get into Bail is, actually, a really tiny character moment right at the end of AOTC, when Palpatine and some of the Senators are looking down at the Clone troops loading up onto the ship, watching their new military gear up for war.

Bail looks away. While everyone else is staring down at the (slave) army, some of them smiling (like Sheev), some of them just serious, Bail looks away from them and makes this tiny little hand gesture: a simple, closed fist knocking against the banister of the balcony.

It's this, I think, that first piqued my interest in this character. He was the only one not triumphant in that situation. He was the only one who saw things for what they were: a tragedy, and a horror, and that this wasn't something to celebrate but to mourn.

Then we come to Revenge of the Sith, and boy howdy. The man may have like 10 minutes of screen time, but does he make those 10 minutes count!

A quick bullet point of the Important Things Bail Does in ROTS:

When the Jedi Temple is burning, what does Bail do? He flies to it to figure out what's going on and see if he can save anyone. He then watches as a youngling is shot and killed by Clone Troopers, and manages to escape because he's a fucking badass.

Please note, to our knowledge, Bail is the only one who actually goes to check on the Jedi Temple.

As soon as he escapes the Temple, Bail immediately - like immediately - takes his ship and goes to find any surviving Jedi. He is almost certainly the reason both Yoda and Obi-Wan don't walk into the trap that is the Jedi Temple, or are captured - and even if that's not true, he most definitely is the reason they manage to sneak safely onto Coruscant and figure out what happened.

He's the one who rescues Yoda (again) after Yoda's failed duel with Palpatine in the Senate. Which, let me rant about the SYMBOLISM of that for a second please. Because holy shit, the entire duel between Yoda and Palpatine takes place in the Senate, with the Senate building and pods. Here Palpatine proves to Yoda that yes, he is the Senate, he controls it, the new Empire is under his control and no one can stop him. But then - but then - Yoda escapes, and who saves him? Bail. Bail sneaks in with a speeder, saves Yoda, and gets him back to safety. Which is such a huge fucking metaphor for the fact that Bail will be the one who, ultimately, is responsible for Palpatine's defeat. But, more on that later.

Bail is there when Padmé (remember, his best friend) gives birth to Luke and Leia. Bail is literally one of 3 sentients in the galaxy who canonically knows about both Luke and Leia.

Bail instantly offers to adopt one of the children, saying "She will be loved with us." (And then she absolutely is.)

And he does all of that in line 10 minutes of screen time.

He shows up again briefly in Star Wars Rebels, and again in Rogue One, but I'm going to take a trip down a side alley here into a territory that is grossly unused in the SW EU: the founding of the Rebellion.

So we don't actually know much about how the Rebellion got started. What we do know is that Bail was one of the (if not the main) Founders. Bail was the mastermind behind the Rebellion, by all accounts knowing...everything about it: who was who, who did what, where they were located, etc. He knows (and controls) Fulcrum in Rebels, as just one example, and Fulcrum is considered by that text to be one of the most powerful Rebel operatives at the time. In Rogue One (regardless of whether you liked what they did with the Rebellion which, side note, I did not), we see he certainly has a position of great authority and power. People respect him, and listen to him, and he's on an even footing with Mon Mothma (or Mom Mothma as my autocorrect tried to say) who is canonically one of the most powerful people in the Rebellion, according to ROTJ.

More than what he did, though, we can look to his character as a reason I love him. He is a good, kind, honorable man who does (or at least tries) his best. We see again and again, throughout all of SW media he's in, that he consistently chooses the right path, regardless of whether or not it's the easy one. He fights corruption, fights for justice, fights for freedom, fights against tyranny.

He is also, canonically, an amazing father and (according to EU content, since Breha literally doesn't have a spoken line in any media content) an incredible husband. We know he's well-loved by his people, and by the Rebellion, by the extraneous texts and mentions about him in the wake of his death on Alderaan. He's also respected by many Senators during his time in the Clone Wars (Padmé makes a comment in a TCW episode about how he's the best and most respected speaker and Senator she knows), and regardless of how people felt about him after the Rise of the Empire (which is, unfortunately - or fortunately maybe, because I don't trust Disney to do it right - up to headcanon), the fact remains that Bail played an incredibly tricky position as an Imperial Senator, having to balance fighting for his people, the people of the galaxy, and setting up the Rebellion, with not making himself too much of a nuisance, or too much of a traitor, that Palpatine straight up had him executed.

Which, speaking of that, can we also take a moment to appreciate the fact that Bail knew almost every single secret that Palpatine and Vader wanted??? He knew where Obi-Wan was, and possibly where Yoda was. He knew where both of Anakin and Padmé's children were. He knew everything about the fledgling Rebellion. Like...that man, had he been captured and interrogated (and had he broken) would have damned the entire galaxy. Yet he never was. He played his cards perfectly, and was either never suspected, or was able to somehow hide all of the information they wanted to know from being found. Personally, I suspect a mixture of the two.

Furthermore, Bail Organa is a great father and husband. He is directly responsible for Leia being the amazing woman we know and love. The one shot we get of Breha, you can practically see and feel the love and adoration Bail has for her radiating off of him through the screen. Literally the most unproblematic ship in Star Wars. I have never seen a single person say they aren't amazing (unless they just want to break them up to make Bail gay? Which, come on, bisexual and polyamorous people exist, y'all. But that's a talk for another time).

If you're still not convinced, the only thing left that I can say is: I'm a raging lesbian and like, while I definitely wouldn't fuck him, Bail/Jimmy Smits (his actor) is handsome. Have some pictures that I have saved on my phone for when I'm feeling sad.

Tl;dr: Bail Organa is singlehandedly responsible for putting into motion the events that secure the galaxy's freedom, not only by being one of the founding fathers of the Rebellion, but also by reaching Yoda and Obi-Wan before the new Empire can, and getting them safely to Coruscant. He is a good, kind, and noble man who does his best in shitty times, and even if he has to make hard choices, he always makes them for the right reasons. He is a loving father, husband, and ruler, who does right by his people and his family. He fights for what's right, even when that fight is nearly impossible. He's a badass, and arguably a literal genius (you'd have to be, to do the kinds of things he does in canon).

Anyway, Bail Organa is great and I love him - and you should too.

#bail organa #breha organa #leia organa #obi wan kenobi #yoda #padme amidala #sheev palpatine #anyway i love him lots #also for any lotr peeps who read this (or at least are reading the tags)#he's basically elrond in space

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gingermintpepper · 3 years

Text

After thinking it over for a bit, I've decided that I might as well do a proper underrated 3DS game rec list. I'm a bit of an ATLUS junkie and that's gonna be pretty disgustingly apparent in this list, but it's not my fault that they released hit after hit and all of them were duly ignored.

Due to tumblr's 10 image limit (and my struggle to keep motivated to do one thing for more than three hours) I'm definitely gonna have to break this up into parts and I'm fairly certain one of these lists is just gonna be MegaTen games lmao but I'd like to let people know about these excellent titles and see if I can't at least get people interested in them so they can get more traction.

So, without further ado:

Some 3DS Games that were criminally slept on (part 1)

Monster Hunter Stories

God, where do I begin with this game. Well, the basics: It's a JRPG spinoff title of the now widely successful and popular Monster Hunter series featuring a different take on interacting with the varied and intricate monsters populating the world: Riders.

Yep, instead of hunting the beasties, you play as a young rider who's completed their intiation ritual and can now bond with 'Monsties' as they've cutely labelled the usually ferocious monsters of the wilds. The great thing is that you still fight Monsters--tons of them in fact but this isn't a paid review and in my humble opinion, the most impressive thing about this game is the visual style. The landscapes, the armour, the way they redesigned and 3DS-ified the classically hyper realistic and monstrous beasts to not only be absolutely adorable but still capable of being intimidating when the time calls for it, the stellar animation of special moves and combination attacks--it's delicious, nutritious, stupendous, I can and will consume it like it's part of my recommended caloric intake.

It's very akin to Pokemon in the way its basic gameplay premise is set up, however, instead of catching--or even indeed befriending--the Monsties in the game, you rummage through their nests and steal their eggs, later hatching them and getting yourself a brand new lightly kidnapped monster pal!

Other general things about the game:

Pros:

The armour and weapon sets for both male and female characters slap along with the general character customisation options. They're incredibly diverse (though limited in body type) and you can switch around traits and features whenever you want from your house.

The POGS--these porkers are everywhere and they serve as tiny little achievements for exploring every odd and end of the world. Also they have little outfits. They're so cute. 🥺🥺

You can actually ride the Monsties. All of em. Or, at least the ones that you have available to be your buddies. They all have exploration skills and traits that not only make exploring much more interesting but encourage you to swap out your active Monstie and play around with your options a bit.

Y'all breeding Monsties is complicated and I live for just how intense and ridiculous you can get with optimal builds for these things.

The story is really competently put together! The characters, character designs and even the internal conflict with your starting trio of characters is really compelling along with the mystery of the blight that's infecting Monsters across the world. It's not anything worth awards but it's compelling and it makes you care about the characters if that's what you're in the market for.

Amazing sound design, expansive world, everything about the presentation of this game oozes that Monster Hunter charm even if the art is cutesier than usual. You'll never get bored of its stellar visual presentation!

Available for around twenty quid on the Google Play store, so if you want, you could actually get the full game on your smartphone or tablet. Note though that it would be a battery nuker.

Cons:

If you're on a regular 3DS, frame rate drops are a given. This game kinda pushes the visual capabilities of the 3DS to its absolute limit--a lot like Okamiden did back on the DS.

One save file :( It's pretty much for the same reason as above but still.

If you're playing as the girl, you can't get male armour and vice versa. Since there's only one save file, you'll never be able to have all of the armour sets in a single playthrough and that's criminal because both of the sets for the genders are absolutely breath-taking, thank you.

I 👏can't 👏make👏my👏 own 👏Palico👏

Multi-player for this game is pretty dead seeing as it's almost five years old by now and never got much press or traction. Usually this wouldn't be an issue - this game is 99% singleplayer and you don't really need to fuss about with multi-player to have fun, but if you want to collect all the Monsties, you'll need it since the only way to get Glavenus is through pvp achievements. :/

Final thoughts: Play it if you find yourself getting tired or disappointed with 3DS Pokemon games but still want something that feels as fantastical as Pokemon. It outshines the 3DS Pokemon games at every turn and I will never be over just how thoughtfully put together and fully realised these games are. Of course, if you've ever played Monster Hunter, then you know just how intensive these games are with the lore, biology, cultures and world of their Monsters but seeing that translated into JRPG format was just very sobering and it's a game that, to this day, continues to awe me with just how much love and attention went into it.

Last note: If you're still unsure about it, there's a demo available on the e-shop of the 3DS that allows you to play through the entire initial area of the game. Your data does carry through to the full release and to give you an idea of how much I've been able to squeeze out of it - my playtime for that demo is currently sitting at 22 hours. Make sure to get a hold of that Cyan-Kut-Ku!

7th Dragon III Code: VFD

The title may sound intimidating but the premise is not! A mysterious disease called Dragon Sickness spread by the Dragonsbane flowers that have cropped up all around the world. You and your team are recruited by the Nodens game company after you display extraordinary prowess in their hit virtual reality game 7th Encount. As you go through the adventure, you are tasked with finding out the truth behind the Dragon Sickness and asked to stop both it and the Dragons that are destroying the world.

This game is fun. It's another turn-based JRPG however, in this game you create all of your characters yourself from the myriad of classes available to you from the jump. Different classes of course have very different specialisations - Samurai focus on high powered cutting damage with their swords, Duelists are summoners who can influence the element of the battlefield as well as summon monsters from each element, Agents can hack into your enemies and inflict a barrage of nasty ailments, just to name a few - and you are given three teams of three characters each to experiment with different team comps and find the balance that works for you. There's also a wide variety of Dragons to hunt and kill in the game, which directly affects how infected your world is with the Dragon Sickness causing Dragonsbane. Along the way you will also come into contact with many interesting characters, concepts and confrontations that will make the task of saving the world all the more imperative.

Pros

1. The character creator and differing classes give way for tons of experimenting and playing around with your own unique approach to combat and carrying out your missions. Granted, 'character creation' is generous, it's little more than palatte swaps but the classes are really where VFD shines. Eight main classes may not sound like a lot, but the expaniveness of the character skills, their synergy with their fellow classes and the uniqueness of some of the classes in and of itself allows for so much flexibility and creativity in approaches to even tougher bosses. It also encourages the switching about of your party members to really finagle with the options available to you.

2. God this game is pretty. The locations, the character art, the creature design - all of it is gorgeous and this game capitalises on every bit of the 3DS's presentation limitations as it can.

3. You can romance anything and everyone - yes, you can even be gay/lesbian/poly in this game. In fact, one of the main characters - Julietta - is gnc and he's a constant source of joy as well one of my personal favourite characters, right behind Yuma.

4. Exploration is very very forgiving as the game has healing spots and teleport nodes all over the world to allow for quick, seamless travel between quest points without feeling like anything is too much of a hassle. There are also special enemies that allow for quick grinding as well as quick farming of money. In general, the game does a really good job of making sure that the grind is never unbearable or inconsiderate of your time.

Cons:

1. This is the fourth game in a series the West has never seen any other title for, and from the looks of it, will probably never see any other titles for. Because of that, there are some elements that may seem confusing or revelations in the plot that may seem to come out of nowhere.

2. While the visuals are great, the OST of this one is pretty short making for a lot of reused soundtracks that can get really annoying if you're like me and need your audio to be interesting or consistent so it doesn't distract you too much.

3. This one isn't really a con but it is divisive: This game gets pretty difficult at times. A few of the main dragon enemies including and especially the final boss can give you a serious run for your money in the annoy-o-meter in terms of the kind of absolute JRPG fuckery they can pull out of their magic bag of bullshit movesets and while I generally enjoy that kind of thing, I know it's not for everyone. Most regular combat shouldn't be too tricky once you have a team comp that works well together but you also need to pay attention since the same team that carries you to victory one time might be worth beans against another dragon.

Final thoughts: This is... a really good game. Interesting story, really interesting characters, pretty world and a battle system that really makes you sit down and think. There's also a demo for this available in the e-shop and while your data doesn't carry over - you do receive multiple perks for carrying over your demo data including some exclusive items that, while not game breaking, do help a ton in the early stages of the game.

This isn't a final list by any stretch of the word; I only have the energy to do these two right now, but the next games up for coverage are Ever Oasis and Stella Glow! If you're interested in my full plan of games I want to cover here then my current lineup includes: Theatrhythm: Curtain Call, Project Mirai: Deluxe, Culdecept Revolt, Alliance Alive, Radiant Historia: Perfect Chronology, Etrian Odyssey V, Devil Survivor 2: Record Breaker and Shin Megami Tensei IV: Apocalypse.

Finally, if anyone has played any of the games I mention, cover or plan to cover PLEASE REACH OUT TO ME, I AM SO LONELY IN MY FORTRESS OF SAND. On a serious note, I'd love to hear what other people who've played these games think!

Thanks for reading,

-Ginger

PS: @feralpeacock Because a million years ago, on my first underrated games post, you asked that I remember you. :D

#ginger rambles #ginger talks about video games #monster hunter stories #monster hunter #code dragon iii vfd #video games #3ds #underrated games #These take so much energy to make holy shit #There are so many more amazing 3ds games I could talk about #But I legit just don't have the braincells for #Also I know Apocalypse probably has the biggest audience that played it out of all the games listed #But it's criminally underrated because it was different #So it's probably going to get it's own little review thing #Yeehaw

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discotreque · 4 years

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LwD 1.10, “No Small Parts”

Well, that was the most fun I've had watching Star Trek in literally a quarter of a century.

I had high hopes for this series. I love TAS, largely because of its wacky outsized concepts that could only have worked in animation—not that they all did work, but the potential was so apparent to me, even as a kid reading the Alan Dean Foster novelizations—and as an adult, there's something about the imagination of Lower Decks's FX setpieces that transcends even the glorious CGI bonanzas of Discovery.

Pause for a confession. I've long pushed back against criticism of serialization in new Trek. That's just how TV is now, okay? Might as well complain about it being in widescreen. But I'm backing down a little, because I've realized there is something about Star Trek that's inextricable from at least a partially-episodic format. And while Picard was telling a different kind of story, I can't deny that my favourite episodes of Disco have been the ones with a mostly self-contained A-plot. After 10 delightfully episodic instalments of LwD, its focus on long-term development of characters instead of a season-spanning puzzle-plot (okay, mostly just Mariner, but we only have 10 × 22 minutes and she is the star) has been downright refreshing.

So here we are, at the end of the most consistent and well-executed Season 1 of a Star Trek series since, arguably, Those Old Scientists. And sure, if they'd had to produce another... yikes, 42 episodes? Then sure, they probably would have dropped a clunker or two—but they didn't, and winning on a technicality is still winning. I'm practically vibrating with excitement for Disco to come back next week, but damn, I'm going to miss this little show while it's on hiatus.

Spoilers below:

Something I've been keeping track of finally paid off this week! (Which never happens to me, lol.) The destruction of the USS Solvang marked the first present-day death(s) of any Starfleet officer on Lower Decks, the only other on-screen killing at all being a flashback in "Cupid's Errant Arrow". Which makes sense, being (a) a comedy, and (b) about typically "expendable" characters: it hasn't been afraid to flirt with a little darkness here and there, but killing people off at Star Trek's usual pace wouldn't just be wrong for the tone, it would be downright bizarre.

But... people die on Star Trek. That's one of the core themes of the show, really: space is full of knowledge and beauty, but also danger and terror, and believing that the former is worth the risk of the latter is (according to Trek) one of humanity's most noble traits. I'm the least bloodthirsty TV watcher I know, but the longer we went with a body count of nil—ships completely evacuated before they were destroyed, main characters hilariously maimed without permanent consequences, etc.—well, I didn't mind per se, but the absence of truly deadly stakes was definitely getting conspicuous.

Turns out they were saving it up for maximum impact. And holy fuck, I've never felt such a pit in my stomach watching a ship get destroyed that wasn't named Enterprise. It felt grim and brutal and somehow both much too quick and dreadfully inevitable—and yeah, it looked extremely fucking cool—and I'd like every other Star Trek property for the rest of time to take notes under a large bold heading labeled RESTRAINT.

Comedy doesn't need to do this, but my favourite comedy does, and in a way that few other art forms can even approach: lower my emotional defences by making me laugh, endear character(s) to me with goofy-but-relatable antics—then BAM, sucker-punch me in the motherfucking feels. M*A*S*H is probably the classic example on TV, Futurama was notorious for it, and even Archer has pulled it off a few times; it's also a staple of some of my favourite standup. I wasn't sure if Lower Decks was going to go there in Season 1—and wasn't sure if they'd earn it—but I knew if they did, that they'd nail it, and damn. Feels good to be right.

Last batch of notes for the season!!! I rambled enough already, so let's do it liveblog-style:

I fucking KNEW they were going to use "archive" visuals from TAS at some point, I KNEW IT :D

"THOSE OLD SCIENTISTS" ahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I like chill and confident Boimler a lot? You can really see—

oh bRADWARD NOOOOO

That opening shot of the Solvang tracking down to the red giant was extremely Discovery-esque... minus the motion sickness, that is

A lady captain AND a lady first officer? That's—oh hey, it's Captain Dayton's brand-new ship. Hahaha, that means they're totally fucked, right?.

Yep! They sure a—umm, wh—shit, okay, but—oh no—no, you can't—wait DON'T

...fuck

FUCK.

Narrator: "And then Amy needed a five-hour break."

[live-action Star Trek showrunner voice] "Gee, Mike! Why does CBS let you have two cold opens?"

Okay, yes, the bit with Rutherford cycling through all the different attitudes in his implant was transparently an excuse for Eugene Cardero to vamp while waiting for something to do in the story, but as far as I'm concerned they can contrive a reason for him to do a bunch of different silly Rutherfords in a row any time they damn well want, because that was classic!!!

EXOCOMP EXOCOMP EXOCOMP EXOCOMP

AND THE EXOCOMP IS PAINTED LIKE THE EXOCOMP IS WEARING A LITTLE EXOCOMP-SIZED STARFLEET UNIFORM

EXOCOMP!!!!!

The slow burn and now the payoff of the Mariner-is-Freeman's-secret-daughter plot has been executed so well. I'm beyond impressed with this writer's room, y'all—they are threading a hell of a needle here

"Wolf 359 was an inside job" would have been a spit-take if I'd had anything in my mouth

...how many memos do you think Starfleet Command has had to issue asking people to stop calling the USS Sacramento "the Sac"?

CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW THEY'VE DECORATED THE SHUTTLECRAFT SEQUOIA THOUGH

Is, uh, is it weird if I'm starting to ship Tendi and Peanut Hamper a little? It is weird, isn't it. I knew it was weird...

Coital barbs??? I take back everything I said about wanting to know more about Shaxs/T'Ana.

The "good officer" version of Mariner is... kind of hot, tbh! But Tawny Newsome has done such a great job of building this character all season that her voice getting uncharacteristically clipped and martial and "sir! yes, sir!" is also deeply, deeply weird

Ah, so this is literally exactly like when TNG (and DS9) would bring in, and then blow up, a never-before-seen Galaxy-class ship, just to underscore that we're facing a real threat this week, baby. And hey, it fucking worked—my heart was in my throat, omg, for the reveal of the—

PAKLEDS?????????

The fucking PAKLEDS have been gluing weapons to their ships for the last 15 years. GREAT.

(We interrupt the SHIP BEING SLICED INTO SCRAP for an interesting bit of world-building: on Earth, the traditional First Contact Day meal is salmon!)

"I need a dangerous, half-baked solution that breaks Starfleet codes and totally pisses me off! That's an order." I'm starting to think Captain Freeman might actually be overqualified for the Cerritos, y'all—she's REALLY awesome

OH SHIT IT'S BADGEY, this is a TERRIBLE IDEA

"How much contraband have you hidden on my ship?" "I don't know! A lot!"

Awwww, Boims!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHA, FUCK THIS, PEANUT HAMPER OUT

BADGEY NOOOOO

AUGHHHHH WHAT THE CHRIST DID HE JUST—BUT—RUTHERFORD'S IMPLANT????

RUTHERFORD!!!!!!!!!!

SHAXS!!!!!!

F U C K ! ! ! ! !

ahaIOPugdfhagntpgjrq90e5mgu90qe5;oigoqgw4ouegrw5SP;IAEHURVa IT’S THE TITAN???????????

IT'S CAPTAIN WILLIAM T. RIKER ON THE MOTHERFUCKING TITAN??????????

i'm screaming I'M SCREAMINGGGGGGTGGGTGQER;LBHAOIBVNV;OAPBIJNVagr;h;oagruipuwtnaetbaetgq35ghqet

I'M SO GLAD THIS WASN'T SPOILED FOR ME WTF

I AM WEEPING LIKE A CHILD

...

(Just a brief 20-minute pause this time)

And oh wow, seeing Will and Deanna hits different after Picard too, in a few different ways, which I may even get into later now that my heartrate is back to normal, lmao

Oh, I am always here for some jokes at the expense of the Sovereign class. The Enterprise-E sucked. They should have built a new bigger model of the D and new Galaxy-class interiors for the TNG movies, and I will die on that hill

OKAY, FINE, YOU GOT ME, RUTHERFORD × TENDI WOULD BE ADORABLE AND THIS IS ACTUALLY A PRETTY GOOD SETUP FOR IT

Awwww, Shaxs though :( Congrats on the single most badass death in Star Trek history, dude. The Prophets would—well, the actual Prophets would probably be slightly confused about most of it, but Kira Nerys would be proud of you and I feel like that probably counts for more. RIP, Papa Bear

I am here all damn DAY for the Mariner–Riker parallels, ahahahahaha

Pausing it to record my prediction that Boimler's commitment to not caring about rank anymore is going to last 3... 2...

Yep.

Bradward, how DARE YOU.

"Those guys had a long road, getting from there to here." OH FOR THE LOVE OF—

What a brilliant way to resolve and renew the various character arcs and relationships moving into Season 2! The writers could easily have brought everything back to status quo—chaotic Mariner fighting with her mom and being a bad influence on Boimler, etc.—and done another 10 just like these, but I suspect that wouldn't have been ambitious enough for these writers. What a blast. I cannot wait for more.

Thanks for following along, friends! Stay tuned for my (similarly patchy and amateur) coverage of Discovery, starting next week!

#star trek #star trek lower decks #lwd spoilers #lower decks spoilers #lower decks #amy's episode notes

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electro-elemena · 3 years

Text

Random thoughts I just had about death note

this is very stream of consciousness and was written in google notes, so sorry for the format and grammar but I just need this to be out there. Also if some parts sound like they're spoken out loud it's because they were lmao

- media needs to be interesting (check)

- if you disagree with me go look at Ryuk and then come back

- love the concept of death note. Very *chef's kiss*

- tickles the part of my brain that likes unlikely and outlandish theories and scenarios

- however enjoyable media also has to be:

- not insufferable... Sufferable you could say

- OR insufferable enough to make it funny

- death note accomplishes the condition of the second

- never finished it, realized i was running out of fucks to give and looked for a reason to give more fucks or stop giving fucks

- spoiled the ending for myself, if you've seen the ending you know why

- spoiler alert for an old ass piece of media... Y'all have your reasons and if this bit doesn't fervently convince you to watch it then it will do whatever the opposite of that is

- misa dies too. Which is unfair

- she's a boss ass bitch and a whole model??? Like

- okay tangent

- light is not a good protagonist

- I'll take a potato chip... And eat it

- he's supposed to be one of those gradual unreliable narrators

- but past the first episode you immediately realize that he is in fact a horrible person

- you could argue that the capacity to kill people without consequence given to a teenage boy was destined to corrupt him

- and that's a cynical and bleh boring take

- (but likely)

- but tbh it takes a dormant god complex in the first place for him to turn out the way he did. He obviously already thought he was better than others

- loners are only loners if everyone thinks they're worse than everyone else or they think they're better than everyone else

- chicken or the egg first sometimes y'know

- so like if you have the death note to a kind person they'd like write down Jeff bezos or something and then hand it back

- or! They could be like "i don't trust you with this" to ryuk and just keep it (but secretly be like saving it for later in case they want to kill someone else with no consequences)

- or maybe they're just in love with ryuk. Which like. I'll squint at you, and judge you silently for, but won't say anything, because I'm a nice person and not because you possess the ability to kill me without consequences whenever

- anyways so he's a bad protagonist and objectively evil

- i say this even though I usually like the villains. I love the hero but I like the villains too

- i won't condone their actions but I'll think they're hot or cool or something

- cuz i always side with the protagonist, when they're not insufferable (wonder who that could be)

- but mass genocide is one of those rare things that's not "oh this is good but it could be gray if done for the wrong reasons" or "oh this is bad but it could be gray if done for the wrong reasons" it's very "no. This is not ambiguous. Throw the whole person away"

- far less forgivable than mass genocide, however, is how he's not down bad for misa

- like??? The only reasons I can think of for him to have been written like this are

- 1) he's gay or ace and they wrote him like that as queer coding and secret representation

- cuz i know that there are many characters like that and you will never KNOW if he is or isn't

- unless like the mangaka... What's his name... Comes out on Twitter and says so

Mini tangent

- i can not for the life of me remember asian names

- i was practically raised by anime and i still can not remember them

- does not matter how much I love the character or person. I will forget it at least once or twice

- every time someone mentions a mangaka i have to check the database

- i think it's mainly because I haven't learned any asian languages, and that's the only reason I'm referring to them as asian and not specifying, because asian languages have a lot of common denominators that they don't share with western ones

- anyways I can't pronounce them so I can't remember them

- or i think I can pronounce them and then the real pronunciation is just waiting to pounce on me and make me feel like an idiot

- had that ever happened to you? I mispronounced the word cicada until I was... 17

- i was walking with my best friend outside

- which never happened because we were hermits and we never left the cave

- and I'm like "oh you can hear the ciSAHdas"

- and he was like "..."

- "you can hear the what?"

- and it's funny that out of the two of us, the AP student was the one that didn't know how to pronounce ciSAHdas

- did i just say that right? Fuck

- ciKEIdas

- anyways Carson did not do well in school, because he's the type of person that, if he does not give a fuck, he simply will not do whatever you ask

- no matter what reason you have

- so the old ass institution that "educated--

- mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell!

- "educated" millions of people crumbled at his feet, like the true being of chaos that he is

- although you could argue that it didn't do me any favors either, since, well, here i am

- and at least he knew how to pronounce cicadas! Damn!

Death note (ctd)

- anyways back to death note because we weren't FINISHED

- so he's gay or ace. My vote is for gay because of his relationship with L

- and L was another character that was treated poorly, he's way better than the early death that he got because he decided to be kind and less suspicious and i HATE that they did him like that

- for a show called death note they really did get death wrong

- funny how everyone around light ends up dying horribly

- you could argue that's because of the death not but I like to think it's because he's just that shitty of a person

- so back to light and how he's super fruity, there's actually a scene where misa is throwing herself on him as usual

- and i don't remember what she's saying, like i can't remember most of her lines

- and i don't know if that means I like her more or less than i would have

- anyways she's saying something suggestive to him looking hot as usual and he starts thinking about L

- like LMAO

- bestie, the closet is made of GLASS

- it is transparent. We can all tell

- 2) reason he could be written to treat misa like that is because it's a ha ha funny that he can't be bothered to give her the time of day, when she's a model

- he's murder sexual. He wants world domination, not pussy

- this is also a reason he could be considered ace but I just think an enemies to lovers with L is more interesting so that's my personal favorite

- anyways there's another scene where she's once again chasing after this toxic ass man

- which. Her main flaw is her absolute dog water taste in men

- so she's trying to get him to like her

- and he thinks

- LMAO

- he thinks "never before have I been provoked to HIT a woman"

- and he says it exactly like that

- which is hilarious for many reasons

- first of all

- i don't BELIEVE you

- you mean to tell me?? That with HIS PERSONALITY?? no woman had ever pissed him off as much as one being in love with him

- which, by the way, gay

- i would like to think this is possible not because of the previously mentioned "maybe he was a good person before given this power" bleh bullshit

- but because all the women had understood he was a fuckwad before interacting with him

- like they sent it to the group chat. The group chat? Yeah the group chat

- they were like bro. This dude? Bad news

- walk parallel to him at all times. Do NOT intersect

- cross the street if you see him walking towards you

- this is also why i like to think incels exist

- like they were already going to be bad and women just knew that and avoided them

- an alternative theory to the group chat phenomenon is that women instinctively knew. Like an edm... That's not the right word

- i know the word and that's not the right word

- e d... e p...

- like the thing you throw out as like a pokeball and it just makes all the electronics stop working

- like they take a break

- electromagnetic... Pulse... EMP!

- so that was sent to every woman's brain instinctively and they just avoided him

#death note #death note misa #death note light #this is objective garbage but i need someone to be forced to read this

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doc-pickles · 4 years

Text

it’s nothing funny just to talk (p. 1)

What happens when you text that random number graffitied on a bathroom stall in your favorite bar? Jo Wilson is about to find out. - In which Bar Princess and Doctor Evil Spawn meet via text.

More Jolex on your timeline because y’all seemed to love what I posted before! Also I’ve posted this whole piece on AO3 as well so it might look familiar.

this idea came to me in a fever dream and i am not sorry that y'all have to deal with it. 99% of this fic will be in "texting" format, so be prepared for that.

Jo is regular Alex is italics

Saturday 11:04 PM

heeeeey is thiss doctor evil?

I gotta say ur phone sex namee needs sum weerk

u soud like a comic book village

fuck

village

VILLAIN

Who the hell is this? And how did you get my number?

i’m just a girl at thee bar!!!!

Joe’s Bar?

noooooo

i’m at enerlad city bar

You didn’t answer my question.

u asked a quesitoon?

whata was it?

i’m goos at takifjg tests

How’d you get my number?

it qas in the bathrooom!!!

it said “for a good tiem txt dr evil spawne”

so I did

I am ready to havee fun

You’re drunk, obviously, and I’m going to have to kill Cristina for putting my number up.

ooooooh is thatt ur girleifnd?

hirlefiend

girlfriend**

Wow you’re really gone. And hell no, she’s my roommate. One of them.

ooooh how many do u hav

roomees not girlfriends

Three. Two girls and a dude.

intereeesting...

well it’s tome for fireball shoots

steph is yeeling at me 4 txting too much

goodbey doctor eviel apawn!!

Oh lord. Tell Steph you need water. Or an IV.

I’ve got her. she’s throwing up on her shoes. thanks doctor. - steph

Sunday 10:11 AM

You know you’re pretty funny, Bar Girl.

jesus christ what fucking time is it?!

10 AM

I’m assuming you have a massive hangover.

hold on I can’t hear you over the sound of me vomiting

TMI as the kids say these days.

what’re you a grandpa or something??

No I just don’t know how to use text lingo. Except WTF. I know that one very well.

quick question

who the fuck are you?

Dr. Evil Spawn. You found my name graffitied in the bathroom of Emerald City Bar.

holy shit

I thought I dreamed that... WHAT THE FUCK

Nope. I’m real.

holy shit i’m so sorry

my texts were so annoying

Who hurt you? I mean you were shitfaced, I’m assuming someone broke your heart into tiny pieces.

the opposite actually, I was at a bachelorette party

not mine, i’m so single it hurts

Ahhh that makes sense. So you got shitfaced in solidarity?

exactly you get it

you seem like you’d be the DD at a bachelorette party

Well seeing as I’m a dude I don’t do Bachelorette parties.

Well I did go to one, but that’s a different story.

hmmm you seem like a very interesting man doctor evil spawn

going to bachelorette parties, living with women who aren’t your girlfriend

OMG ARE YOU DATING THE GUY YOU LIVE WITH?!

George? No absolutely not. And before you ask, my other girl roommate is gay.

so you’re single?

i’m only asking so when you murder me the police have as much information as possible

Haha very funny. I would be a terrible murderer.

you didn’t answer my question

Fine. Yes I’m single.

i’ll note that in the “serial killer file” i’m building

gotta go, I have to do work :/

Have fun, don’t die.

Sunday 8:38 PM

Arizona is trying to set me up on a blind date.

who’s arizona?

My gay roommate. She wants me to meet this “bubbly blonde” she knows from her pilates class.

ahhhh. why don’t you go?

Bubbly blonde is not my type. Sounds like she’ll spend the whole date talking about how much she loves dogs or her knitting hobby.

Plus she does pilates, that tells me more than enough.

you’re making some good points. I don’t pity you.

You better not. How was work?

the longest day of my life

it was just paperwork, I don’t actually work on the weekends

What do you do?

hmmmm that’s exactly what a serial killer would say

i’m an elementary school teacher

Oh so you sing and dance and paint pictures all day?

what school did you go to?

were working on multiplication tables and basic photosynthesis tomorrow

Wow that sounds like a lot.

it’s may, ive got three weeks of school left so I have to cram all the crap we didn’t cover into these last few weeks

Ahhh that sounds more accurate.

and what do you do?

besides text strangers that you don’t know

I’m a pediatrician.

oh so you make kids cry and wipe snotty noses all day? two can play at that game

Well we both have to deal with snotty noses sooo...

I GET IT!! Doctor Evil Spawn!!

why evil spawn though?

I wasn’t this nice when I started med school. My personality is an acquired taste.

ha! that’s a funny joke.

so if you’re a fancy schmancy doctor why do you live with three other people?

I’m only a resident, not making the big bucks yet. Everyone else is a doctor too.

are they all pediatricians?

No. Arizona is too but Cristina is a cardiologist and George is a trauma specialist.

interesting!! I too live with my coworkers. it’s not fun.

the table is always covered in craft supplies.

Well I can never read the grocery list on the fridge. Stupid doctors script...

oh that’s a classic. you’re pretty funny Dr. Evil Spawn

Thanks Bar Girl.

I gotta go. monday tomorrow and you know how fourth graders can be. night!!

Night .

Monday 9:47 AM

there’s not enough coffee in the world for monday mornings.

Monday 10:52 AM

Sorry I was yelling at the interns. We have a decent coffee cart here. Keeps me alive. Are you texting in class?

no it was recess

now they’re at spanish class

i’m not totally irresponsible

Oh good to know the future of America is in good hands. Teacher Princess is “not totally irresponsible”

teacher princess?

Well, Cinderella lost her shoe, you puked on yours. Same thing.

wooooooooow

that was so uncalled for...

I thought it was funny. Gotta go set a broken arm.

broken arm vs. adverbs... can we switch? have fun lol

Monday 3:26 PM

I don’t even think I know what an adverb is.

how did you become a doctor??

Don’t need to know adverbs to fix a couple broken bones and snuffy noses.

oh darn I should’ve gone to school for seven more years then

Haha. How were the adverbs?

better than expected, grading papers while I wait for my roomies to be done

we carpool, saving the environment and shit

Okay Eco Warrior.

you text like a 60 year old man

you’re not a 60 year old man are you?

No I’m a 28 year old man though

28 a doctor and you’re single? your personality must be worse than you described

I’m a busy man, I don’t have time to settle down. And I have no desire to.

yet you have time to text a complete stranger?

hmmmm interesting...

Ouch, that one hurt Princess.

steph is making me socialize with the other teachers

if I don’t respond, they killed me or dragged me to an essential oil party

Hahahaha

Monday 5:18 PM

Did you get roped into a pyramid scheme?

nooo but therew as wine

I should sotp drunk texting you so often

It makes your presence that much more entertaining. And bearable.

woah woah dude

i’m a gem

I can tell. Elementary school teacher with a heart of gold.

awwww your too sweet tome

It’s a Monday. Who the hell gets drunk on a Monday?

teachers

we deserve it

You’re a teacher and you’re single and still going to Bachelorette parties. You’re what, 23?

i’m 25 and i’m doing greta thanks you very nuch

cnat believe that i’m supplying my perosnal info to a serial killer

What makes you so sure that I’m a mass murderer?

ur weird nickname and ur intimate knowledge of the himan body

Mmm yes well a good amount of women do find themselves screaming around me often. Or under me. On top of me...

omg are you sending me dirty jokes

you’re crazy

What can I say.

Gotta go, I’m on call tonight. Get to bed safe, Bar Princess.

mmmkay thanks Doc

Wednesday 11:29 AM

What do you think is worse: School lunch or hospital food?

hospital food, no doubt

thursday is mac and cheese day here... I could bathe in that stuff

We have Spaghetti Wednesday but that’s the only good thing here.

mmm how depressing

the teachers do a pot luck once a month and that’s always good

the art teacher next door to me makes the BEST blueberry muffins.

Lucky. All I get here is vending machine cookies. Anything interesting happening in the elementary world?

a first grader got lice last week so naturally we all have it now

I had to chop off six inches of my hair

Holy crap. Lice can be vicious, be thankful you didn’t have to shave your head.

it feels like I did, my hair hasn’t been above my shoulders since the backstreet boys were still touring

Wow. I’m glad to know you’re well cultured.

of course I am

gotta go, kids are back from music class

Don’t be too hard on them, they deserve a break every once in awhile.

Thursday 3:06 PM

Incoming Voice Call

“Jenna you forgot your lunch pail. Have a good day!”

“Hello?”

“Hi Mrs. Peters. I didn’t grade Henry’s test yet, I’ll have it tomorrow. Thanks bye!”

“Helloooo?”

“Steph I gotta grab my things, I’ll be there in a seco- oh shit. Hello?”

“Bar Princess?”

“Doctor Evil Spawn? I must’ve butt dialed you, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay I... I don’t mind the interruption. Are you leaving work?”

“Just about, we’re wrapping up the solar system and I have to bring home the diorama.”

“I was never good at the models, I prefer working with the real thing.”

“Oh ho, a man that works with his hands. I can appreciate that.”

“You know now we’re officially talking and we still don’t know each other’s names.”

“Well around here I’m Miss Wilson, but you can call me Jo.”

“Jo. Hmm I like chicks with dudes names. I’m Dr. Karev but you can call me Alex.”

“Well nice to kinda meet you Alex. I’ll talk to you soon, I gotta get out of here.”

“Talk to you later.”

Thursday 4:34 PM

I wouldn’t mind if you were my teacher.

how did I know you’d send me something along those lines

I’m predictable. I’m still calling you Bar Princess.

as you wish doctor evil spawn

I get to assist on a surgery today. Tonsillectomy.

like removing tonsils? that’s awesome

for you, not for the kid

Oh she’ll be fine, she gets ice cream and jello for a week.

okay yeah I might be jealous of her now

id love to be off work for a week and have you waiting on me hand and foot

the ice cream is a nice bonus

You think that’s my job?

well you said you aren’t making the big bucks yet so.... yeah

Keep dreaming. I’ll talk to you later, gotta scrub in.

have fun!!!!

#jolex #jolex fanfic #jolex fanfiction #jo karev #jo wilson #jo wilson karev #alex karev #alternate universe #jolex fic #jo x alex #greys anatomy #greys fanfic #INFJTT #nina writes

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welcometocaritas · 4 years

Text

‘if you love me, don’t let go...’

First chapter of my yumagna fic is out ladies and gentlebabies!

Chapter: 1/6

Characters: Yumiko & Magna

Pairing: Yumagna

Fandom: The Walking Dead

Format: Multi-Chap

Summary: At some point, you just have to let go - or so Yumiko keeps telling herself.There was never any letting go of Magna.

Links: A03, FF.NET

[watermark is from my instagram yumagnas.home don’t worry i didn’t steal the pic ;)]

A/N:

[The rape/non-con is there for Magna's cousin and it will only ever be in references I will not be writing anything detailed about it because I don't want to trigger anyone and this isn't the story for writing about something like that as I would not be able to give it the time and attention it deserves]

Small note: Magna's cousin is called Maisie in this and I've also given her a brother called Morgan.

y'all are going to hate me because yes, this is going to be over 20000 words about a single night. And probably not even the whole night. but there's also flashbacks so it's OK? In my defense, we've gotten very few conversations with these two so there was a lot to talk about. I can't be held responsible for my actions. blame the writers.

I’m honestly a little worried that I’m going to bore people to tears because there’s really no plot. It’s just yumagna being soft and finally sorting out their shit.

I'm also working on a short oneshot - for real this time it's actually going to be short - that's set in the indeterminate future after this. It's basically just going to be pure fluff which you should knew is unheard of - I never write fluff. So hopefully it's not terrible.

There be angst here, lots of angst, but also comfort - if you’re familiar with my writing that won’t be a surprise to you.

I don’t have much hope for canon so I decided to do what I could to fix the mess they made.

I normally wouldn’t reveal anything that’s going to happen in a fic but y’all have been tortured enough already so just know I will absolutely be getting these girls back together, it won’t take more than a night, but it will take about 20000 words. Most of the story is written out already I’m just doing post-edits so I’ll update daily :)

If things seem a little disjointed it’s because I wrote everything out of order and it’s been a bit of a struggle to get everything to fit into place. I also haven’t slept more than 1-4 hours a night for the past three weeks, have been getting constant migraines and blood sugar crashes so I’m gonna apologize right now if there are any mistakes. I’m super sorry.

This is for the yumagna fandom cos I wanted y'all to have something nice with everything that's going on. I would also like to give a special thanks to Abbey and Mina who acted as my sounding board throughout this whole thing and were very patient with me - love you guys :)

....

"If you love me, don't let go

Hold

Hold on

Hold on to me

'Cause I'm a little unsteady

A little unsteady . . . "

- Unsteady by X Ambassadors

. . .

Nightmares had always been an issue, though less so in recent years. Magna had gotten almost gotten used to having a full night's sleep, barring the occasional pillow snatch. Back before all this started, she'd been on medication for PTSD, but well, it was kind of hard to fill a prescription in the middle of the apocalypse - and, well, the apocalypse had only added to the previous need for said medication. At least she was in good company. These days, it was more of a surprise if someone wasn't experiencing some form of post-traumatic stress, and that was a somewhat odd reality to wake up in, day after day. For years, this thing had set her apart but now? Now it just made her like everyone else.

Miko had nightmares too.

It was what had led to them sharing a 'bed' in the first place, way before things between them moved beyond the confines of friendship. They'd fallen asleep by the fire one particularly cold night, curled around each other for warmth, and they hadn't awoken until morning.

It had been something of a revelation.

On Magna's end, she suspected it had had a lot to do with trust. She'd trusted Miko not to shove a shiv into her side or try to cop a feel whilst she slept, trusted her even more to have her back if things went south during the night. She'd been . . . safe. Magna wasn't used to people being safe - she wasn't quite sure what she offered Miko in return, though; maybe the same thing.

Of course, in many ways Yumiko wasn't safe. There was nothing safe about the way Magna felt about her. Or the way those feelings seemed to be returned. She knew Miko had had a girlfriend in college who cheated - and when the other woman had told her that, a vindictive part of her had hoped the bitch had been one of the many, many people to meet their end by sicko teeth. Miko had smacked her on the arm for that comment, exasperation tempered by fondness and reluctant amusement.

She'd realized in her time away, that this past hurt would have only sharpened Magna's betrayal. Trust was important to Miko - hell, it was important to Magna - and she had broken hers by lying, lying for years. She hadn't thought of it that way when she'd been doing it. The secret had weighed on her, yes, but she'd been viewing it from a place of hadn't really considered how it would hurt Miko, only what it would do to their relationship if it had ever come out, what it would do to her.

That, more than anything, had made her realize that Miko had been right to kick her out. More than right.

Which is why she could hardly believe that they were here now. That Miko was letting her head rest in her lap, that she had invited her to do so. Sitting back against a tree and patting her thigh with a small smile her way when Magna had gone to settle a short distance off. The way she had nearly fallen over herself to accept that invitation was almost embarrassing but she couldn't bring herself to feel self-conscious about it, or to second guess the action. They'd done this as friends too and she was glad it wasn't something she had sacrificed with their relationship.

She'd been attracted to Yumiko from the moment they met. It was hard not to be. She wasn't blind - hot lawyer lady in a suit, how could she not notice her in that way? The woman had entered into her dilapidated life with a sureness and determination that was hard to dismiss. Intelligent, strong, and fighting for her.

No one had ever fought for Magna. Not until Miko.

(really, she'd been screwed from the start)

Of course, the person Yumiko was fighting for was little more than an illusion. If Miko had only known the truth then . . .

She probably would have dropped her like a hot potato, just like everybody else. She probably would have been wise to.

Or maybe she wasn't giving Miko enough credit. After all, she was still here now. Carding her hand through Magna's hair in a soothing motion as she pretended to sleep - and Miko pretended to believe her. She knew the truth now, and still she kept close. Maybe they weren't together anymore but that had been as much Magna's choice as Miko's. She couldn't let herself get to that place again, where she was so terrified of losing something, she ended up destroying it.

And God, Magna was so tired, so tired of being afraid, so tired of being angry.

Just so tired.

('I can't do this anymore.')

She needed a distance between them, even if she didn't want it. Romantic relationships had a tendency to blow up in her face. But friendships . . . well, they tended to be more reliable. After all, she had been friends with Miko for years and things only turned sour after they had crossed over the safety of that border into something more.

(things turned sour because you couldn't stand keeping it a secret from her anymore. The same thing would have happened if you'd still been only friends)

She shifted uncomfortably, remembering at the last second that she was supposed to be asleep. But Miko only stilled a moment before continuing with her motions, allowing the deception to maintain itself.

The relief passed her lips in a shaky exhale.

Magna couldn't bring herself to talk anymore. She was drained - both emotionally and physically - and the thought of pulling any more words out almost made her cry from exhaustion. And Miko seemed to sense that, almost as soon as Magna had first fallen silent. But then, she'd always been good at reading her.

She was observant. Like Connie.

Squeezing her eyes shut tighter, she immediately regretted the action. In the darkness, all she saw was her friend's face, disappearing into the crowd of sickos, possibly never to be seen again. Of course, Magna hadn't seen that at all. She'd kept her gaze ahead, too wary to look around and give away the disguise, but she had felt Connie's hand slip from hers, the ache of the empty space it left behind. Her imagination filled in the blanks now, even adding in a few colorful extras - wide eyes, a silent scream, falling beneath the weight of too many bodies, torn apart. Gone.

So many people were just . . . gone.

"Do you think she survived?" The words hung in the night air; foreign, distant. Magna blinked, unsure if they'd really come from her. She couldn't remember opening her mouth. But her tongue felt thick and heavy, her lips cracked, she could taste the metallic hint of blood caused by the effort.

Miko paused. Just a second, her fingers tangling in Magna's hair a little too tight, almost painful, then a breath, and she returned to smoothing it back. "You did."

"Barely. I was lucky."

"And there's no reason she won't be, too. Connie's smart, strong. She could make it."

Magna could think of a hundred reasons. A thousand.

Her stomach turned and she closed her eyes, opening them in a snap when Connie's face answered her. She trembled. "I should have stopped. I should have looked for her."

Miko didn't hesitate. "Then you'd be dead. Might even have gotten her killed as well. All for nothing."

At least, I wouldn 't be feeling like this.

Magna opened her mouth to argue but found that she didn't have the strength. She closed her eyes again, inhaling the scent of the woods, of the leaves and dirt beneath their bodies, of Miko. Especially Miko. "What the hell am I going to say to Kelly?"

If she wasn't dead.

What if they were the only ones left? Her and Miko. Bernie gone. Connie gone. Kelly gone. Luke gone. She'd failed to protect them. All of them.

And she'd thought she'd cried enough tears but her eyes burned and she rubbed at them fiercely, like there was dirt, like if she could just get it out the fire would vanish and she wouldn't crumble to ashes in its grip.

And there was Miko's voice, all at once gentle and firm, pulling her back. "She won't blame you. She knows you. You've always fought hard for us. As hard as you can. This just wasn't a situation in which you could."

Magna nearly scoffed.

No, she could have fought. But she'd gotten scared. She'd hesitated. She hated being fucking scared (small and shaking, hugging Morgan to her chest as Daddy's voice got loud, so loud, why was it so loud?). It was such a useless emotion. And now it had probably gotten Connie killed.

Miko tugged at her hair slightly, gentle but scolding. "Seriously, Magna. You couldn't have done anything. If anyone should be feeling guilty it's me."

Frowning, she turned her head in her grip to look up, a strand of hair snagged but she didn't mind the pain. "What are you talking about?"

But Miko shook her head, refusing to meet her gaze as she focused on raking her hands through Magna's hair, avoiding the knots with an ease born of years of practice. "I should have been there with you. I shouldn't have stayed behind that day."

And then you might be dead, too. Magna shuddered at the thought. Her worst fear, worse than Miko choosing to leave her, being taken from her. Forever.

And it wasn't even a what-if situation. It felt inevitable. This was the apocalypse: their expiration dates were always inching closer.

"I'm glad you did." Even though Magna couldn't see her face, she sensed her hurt, felt the flinch of her hand. "I couldn't lose you. Not like that."

Giving up on getting Miko to look at her, she settled back in her lap but kept her eyes open.

Yumiko's voice was caustic when she responded, fragile and harsh all at once. "I thought I lost you." The hand resumed its stroking, stiffer now, almost angry. "At least if I had been there I could have helped, and I would have known. I would have known if you were okay."

Not if you got out with Kelly.

But, no, Miko wouldn't have left them, wouldn't have left her. She would have seen her double back with Connie and gone after her too - like Magna, she was always watching. Maybe she would even have noticed and gone after Connie first - she was equally as protective of their group - and then Magna would have been the one left behind, to wonder, to fear.

Thinking about it, that probably would have driven her to punch Carol, too. Though her fuse had always been a lot shorter than Miko's.

Now, she snorted at the sudden memory. "I can't believe you punched Carol. I've never seen you like that." In a way, it had scared her. She was so used to Miko being the calm one, forever in control. She was the one who reined Magna in.

Okay, it had also been kind of hot. Even half-dead on her feet, she couldn't fail to notice that.

"To be honest, neither can I." There was a wry note to the older woman's tone, and Magna wondered if she was smiling, almost risked looking up again to find out. "I don't regret it, if that's what you're wondering."

"Not like you to kick a dog when it's down."

"Not like you to be so forgiving."

She scoffed. "I'm not. Connie's gone. Probably dead and she-" Magna swallowed, collecting herself. "I'm not forgiving. I just don't have the energy to be angry anymore."

"Well that's definitely not like you." Miko teased, hesitating for a moment before severity bled back into her tone. "Are you going to be okay?"

She closed her eyes, sighed. Why was she so good? "You don't have to worry about me, Miko."

Scoff. "Another lie. I found a grey hair the other day, thanks to you."

"Oh and it couldn't have possibly been the literal end of days that we're stuck in?"

"Have you met you?" Another tug at her hair, this time playful and, for a moment, Magna could breathe easier. "Seriously, though, are you going to be okay?"

For a moment.

She shifted, hair pulling painfully but that was almost welcome. "I'll be fine. I'll be a lot better once we find Kelly and Luke."

"And Connie."

"And Connie." She wished she could feel more hopeful on that front. Miko squeezed her shoulder and she relaxed slightly, trying to push the dark thoughts away for now. There'd been too many of them tonight already. There were always too many. But just for tonight she wanted to escape them, to hide away in Miko's lap and absorb every touch, every smell, every word . . . that she had come so close to never experiencing again.

. . .

"How can you lose me? You've owned me from the first moment I saw you."

― Dianna Hardy, Cry Of The Wolf

. . .

The full gravity of the world ending fell upon Yumiko within a matter of hours, there'd been no time to trivialize or hope. Right from the start, she'd felt the impact.

Her mother had been a doctor in the old world and she'd been working a shift at the hospital when the outbreak hit the city and surrounding areas. Yumiko's stomach still turned at the memory of calling her up from the safety of Magna's apartment, her eyes trained on the insanity playing out across every news station, her heart pounding as she pleaded, pleaded for the other woman to pick up, to be alright, to-

But the phone had rung and rung. One, two, twelve phone calls later and nothing.

----

Unable to sit and wait any longer, Yumiko swiped her abandoned keys off the table and marched towards the door, ready to drive over there right that second and make her mother okay. She was smart, her mother was smart, and resourceful, and she'd never stopped practicing krav maga - and Yumiko would definitely come to regret refusing all those classes the woman had tried to get her to enroll in growing up but she 'd been focused on her books and her studies and all her dreams for a future that fighting never entered into-

Her mother would be fine .

But a hand grabbed hers - strong, nails almost biting into her skin - and pulled her back. "You can't go out there."

Magna.

At some point, she 'd forgotten the other woman was even there, just whose home she stood barricaded within.

"I have to get to the hospital, my mother she-"

"Yumiko, you saw the news - hell, you just almost got your face bitten off by one of those sickos - the world's fucking lost it. " Her face took on an expression of incredulity. "And you want to go to the fucking hospital? No, no way."

Yumiko clenched her jaw, trying not to snap. "She's my mother. I need to make sure she's okay."

"I know, OK? Trust me I get it but . . ." she took a breath, frustrated and Yumiko could detect an air of desperation in the way she closed her eyes, pressed her lips together. "But you just, you can't, okay? They said that part of the city is already overrun and it's a hospital . The amount of people in there, dying people . . . it's a death trap."

Yumiko looked away, knowing she was right but unwilling to face it. It was her mother .

For a spiteful moment, she wondered whether Magna really did 'get it'. As far as she knew, the other woman hadn't visited her own mother since she was a child. Yumiko didn't even know if she was still alive - or if Magna knew for that matter.

"Look, I . . . " Magna shook her head. "If I thought that it could work, that we'd be able to help, hell even be able to get in there, I would drive you myself."

"You don't have a license." She wasn 't sure why she said it, why out of all the things Magna was saying, that had stuck out the most. But it was the only thing she had the means to protest.

Magna huffed. "Fine, I'd let you drive but that-that's not the point. Miko, we don't even know how to kill these things. I stabbed that guy in the neck and he barely even flinched. The dead are eating people, I can't . . ." She shook her head, lost for words. "I can't protect you from that."

Yumiko cursed the way those words made her stomach flip - not the time. Her phone felt heavy in her pocket, useless, and her mind was a violent hellscape, tossing up image after image of all the situations that could be keeping her mother from answering but . . .

Fuck it.

She was right.

The world shook for a moment, shaky legs almost falling out from under her as she allowed herself to sink down onto the floor, hiding her head in her hands. She was right . The darkness made everything still and she could imagine for a moment that this wasn't really happening, that it was just some big nightmare, that-

People were fucking eating people, for god's sakes. Dead people. How could this be real?

There was a pause, the sound of shuffling, and she felt a stiff form settle down beside her. Hesitantly, an arm came around her, too lose, too distant, but there. "I'm sorry."

Yumiko shook her head, forgetting entirely Magna's discomfort when it came to any kind of physical intimacy - hell, any kind of intimacy in general - and allowed herself to collapse. Falling into her, she buried her head in the other woman's chest, hands coming up to latch onto the fabric of her shirt, desperate for something, anything to hold onto.

Magna flinched and her body became like a rock, rebelling at every place of contact between them.

Remembering herself, Yumiko moved to withdraw, "Shit, sorry, I-" but the arm around her tightened, keeping her in place. Slowly, she felt the muscles against her force themselves to relax as that arm found a surer purchase, pulling her closer. After a moment, she felt the slight weight of a chin coming to rest on her head, a hand coming up to find one of hers. Disentangling Yumiko 's almost rabid hold, they wrapped around her and squeezed, held tight and this-

This was better.

"Stay."

She did.

. . .

"I am your friend. a soul for your soul. a place for your life. home. know this. sun or water. here or away. we are a lighthouse. we leave. and we stay."

― Nayyirah Waheed

. . .

Magna knew that Miko's upbringing had been a fair bit more stable than hers. Parents divorced at nine, yes, but that was terribly common wasn't it? (and neither of them had tried to shoot the other.) She'd graduated at the top of her class, whilst Magna had been kicked out of three schools for fighting before her aunt and uncle had given up and stopped sending her. It wasn't a huge loss. The only classes she'd been doing well in were art and P.E. And whilst she had missed those it was a relief to get away from the taunting students and judgmental teachers.

Considering her criminal record that kept her from working at anything other than a seedy truck stop with its overly handsy customers, that had probably worked out for the best. Good grades wouldn't have been of any help to her by then.

She still laughed sometimes at the memory of Miko popping by on her shifts, how out of place she'd looked, sitting on a rickety stool behind the counter whilst Magna tended customers, still dressed in a suit from work that never seemed to wrinkle.

The pair of them had garnered more than a few looks.

But Miko had been at ease with it, picking at her fries - the only food on the menu that would probably pass a health inspection - making small talk, interjecting with the occasional complaint about Jerry, the company vulture, who kept trying to steal her clients. Magna had been confused by the attention, wary even. She'd wondered if the lawyer checked up on all her former clients like this, or if she was just a special case. She hadn't asked - she hadn't wanted to know the answer, to face the inevitable 'yes'.

A part of her had wanted to scare her off, had hated the way she got instantly on edge as soon as she saw Miko's form enter in the door, the way she felt even worse when she watched her leave out it. But another, more secret part, had been starved for company; the kind that didn't make her want to punch someone, anyway. So she'd held her tongue, and slowly let down her defenses.

Until one night, a trucker had gone to bite a chunk out of Miko's face.

It had been her turn to work the truck stop diner connected to the store, and Yumiko had been leaning against the counter, nursing a cup of too-sweet hot chocolate and conversing with her between customers. She'd just glanced down at her phone after hearing a ping and Magna had looked up at the sound, glimpsed the man lumbering closer, closer - too close.

She'd never been so glad of the quick reflexes life had beaten into her, because in that moment she hadn't needed to think. She'd shoved Miko back, a little too forcefully since she ended up hitting the ground with a smack that made Magna wince - but it was enough.

Her hand had been grabbing the knife from beneath the bench before she even registered, her arm jolting with the shock of sinking it into flesh that gave way too easily as she leapt across the counter, blood spattering against her face in a terrible sort of deja vu, her stomach turning - fuck fuck fuck - but he didn't fall, didn't scream; and then she'd grabbed Miko, tugged her up and ran, ears howling with the sound of all hell breaking loose around them. The police sirens in her head hadn't been real, she'd known they weren't, they couldn't be, not this soon, but her heart pounded in her chest from more than just adrenaline and fuck-

She'd done it again.

And just when she was finally starting to get used to freedom.

She hadn't realized until later that night, hauled up in her apartment - it had been closest and neither of them had really wanted to be alone after that - and watching the actual End of Days unfold on international television, that it had been the first time they'd touched. Magna had always kept a certain level of distance and Miko had never tried to cross it. Not until later that night, when Magna had reached out to stop her from leaving, when she'd collapsed into her arms with an ease that made Magna want to run out the door instead . . . and later when Miko grabbed her hand as she was heading to bed. It was just a moment, just a brief squeeze accompanied by a weak but grateful smile - but Magna had felt her heart try to escape her chest at that smile, at that touch . . .

It had just been a push. Barely anything compared to getting someone out of jail at least twelve years - though more likely an entire lifetime - earlier than expected. Especially when she still hadn't known that the person she'd been fighting so hard to free wasn't nearly as innocent as she'd assumed.

Somehow, the most surprising event of the night, was that Magna hadn't minded the touch, hadn't pulled away. More shocking, she'd missed it when it was gone; had felt empty each time Miko left her grasp, yearning to reach out and-

And that was when Magna had known she was screwed.

Miko told her that she'd known the same thing sometime around the third day of planning their trial strategy.

Thirteen years later and they were still pretty screwed.

. . .

"I've spent much too long in the space between staying and letting go."

- Perry Poetry

. . .

A/N: So this story has turned out to be a lot more Magna-centric then intended and that's not because I love Yumiko any less, I just find it easier to get inside the heads of characters like Magna. I'm used to writing somewhat dysfunctional people with more than a bit of trauma (probably cos I have a bit of trauma of my own lol). You know, the loveable walking disasters of the world. She might come off a bit ooc in this and that's partly because I'm still familiarizing myself with writing her and because she's a tad bit fragile after everything that's happened, which i think we all saw in last episode - Miko is also feeling pretty fragile for the same reason. Speaking of which. What. The. Fuck. It makes zero sense to me that these two would make up but still not get back together and I'm gonna sue the writers for torture if this keeps going on. So I had to write a fix-it fic. And I also felt like there was a lot these two still needed to talk about that I'm not entirely confident the show will ever address so voila a fic was made.

Also, just gonna note going forth that Magna’s own feelings about herself aren’t necessarily a reflection of my own feelings about her character. Girl’s got some insecurities to sort through. Likewise, her judgments - good and bad - about Yumiko aren’t necessarily true, either, for the same reason. It’s one of the causes for conflict in their relationship.

So there are probably two ways to look at how these two might have noticed they had feelings for each other: a) these two idiots have been in love for 13 years and were both too chicken and oblivious to do do anything about it, or b) their love developed slowly from the bonds of friendship over a very long time. I like both options but I decided to go with the former for this fic.

The series titles is from the song You by Keaton Henson. If you're familiar with the song - my Lost Girl buddies will be - don't worry nobody is going to die! that line just really fits them so much, and it's also about accepting the fact that you might lose the one you love but that doesn't mean you should be afraid of loving them or living your life.

. . .

OK, just gonna do a little shameless self-promotion, hope you don't mind :)

I made a yumagna vid so if you haven't seen it already and you're interested it's here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grzrpr0QZEE (I'm gonna do more so if you want to stay in the loop subscribe to my youtube channel. I'll probs end up doing a short one for Unsteady because of this fic but I'm holding out till we get a yumagna hug)

I have an insta for yumagna called @yumagnas.home . my multifandom one is @bonnielextra (lots of awesome women that i make edits for just fyi) and my personal one is @cissyalice. Hit me up so I can follow some more yumagna stans!

My twitter is @bonnielextra and @welcometocaritas (for my edits). Currently just a lot of crying about yumagna on the first one.

And my tumblr is welcometocaritas. Obviously no pressure to look at any of these but I just thought I'd put them in just case :)

#yumagna #magniko #the walking dead #nadia hilker #eleanor matsuura #yumagna edit #yumagna fanfic #magna twd #yumiko #yumiko twd #mypost #My posts #myfic #my fic #my edit #myedit

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