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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 4 years

Note

hi I'm back again. Anyways; as always you don't have to answer if you don't wish! How do you think the residents would react to a young Pureblood MC? (I'm talking about young like a minor.) With that Gen Z in a nutshell personality. Obviously no romantic feelings, just in your opinion how do you think they'd react? all of my questions are just "coincidentally" oddly specific aren't they, totally

Oh shit whaddup I love the idea of Gen Z MC!!! Young pureblood it is, here we go! I’m going to be moving from the assumption that they’re like Comte/Leo; very sympathetic to humanity and sometimes have existential crises (trauma babeyyyyyyyyy). As such, I’ll also be assuming she’s not super close to her family given she rejects the larger vampiric hierarchy/superiority paradigm, memes and modernity, all that jazz

I hope this fits the bill! c:

Under a cut bc is a lonnnnnnng boi~ Click after Napo to see everyone else’s! No explicit triggers that I’m aware of, but if anybody sees anything I missed feel free to let me know

Comte’s reaction:

Absolute baby, he has decided this is his grandchild--no he will not change his mind or take constructive criticism. Get’s ESPECIALLY concerned when he starts to see signs of that “nothing in life matters 😎” nihilism, but doesn’t pester them about it or becomes naggy. Growing up he had similar issues with the prospect of eternal life surrounded by creatures with a mortal lifespan, so he doesn’t judge. He’s more like nah we all hit that vibe, let’s see if we can get their mind off it c: I feel like Gen Z really understand and appreciate the importance of culture and art, so I feel like they would bond a ton over trips to museums/plays/concerts! Invites them to tea time if he ever sees them particularly silent (ah yes, repression) or particularly tired, and does his best to ensure their safety without being intrusive (has briefed the men to escort/accompany her as needed, though Sebas usually does it).

If he sees fangs out around baby he will thrash the shit out of the perpetrator--unless it’s an accident. No excuses. That’s a child. Doesn’t give a FUCK if they’re another pureblood even with all the arranged marriage bullshit. He said what he said. (Remember that biting between vampires or vampire + human relations is considered something that’s only done between intimate partners, so he is having none of that for a minor)

Leonardo’s reaction:

Also certified granddad, but he’s the one that enables shenanigans and is just like “oh worm” when it comes to the existential dread (it’s a Tuesday). At first though Leo is basically that meme like: (Stupidman = Leo, Maddie = MC)

Not all purebloods are necessarily dangerous, but most are either incredibly indifferent to the plight of others (especially humans) or actively range from like playing social mind games to being sociopathic murderers/etc. the list goes on. As such, Leonardo is suspicious to no end until he sees that the kid really doesn’t have any ill will in her. She jokes with Sebas (they quote vines on the daily) and works with him normally; even when Leo asks Sebas he’s just “????? bro she’s just my kouhai, thanks for worrying tho”. One day he’s tasked with escorting her to grab groceries and assorted things for the mansion, and she freezes in place before bolting across the street. Turns out she saw a kid trip in the road and fall, and a carriage was moving fast from the other side--it likely wasn’t going to be able to stop. She scoops up the kid and holds them close, and when the parents try to thank her profusely she just seems more uncomfortable with the praise than triumphant. She didn’t want the kid to get hurt. If she could do something about it, it was as simple as that.

From that point on they’re hella chill and hang out together, usually just bonding in silence. If they’re an artist, he’ll offer them pointers and technique manuals--will help however he can. If not, they’ll just be reading together in the library now and again. If she falls asleep, he’ll tuck her in and watch over her (cue red eye meme when the door opens, but then it’s just Vincent so he c:). He’ll often pay close attention to her eating habits to make sure nothing’s amiss with her health since she’s still a growing pureblood. If she struggles with what she is a lot (given she’s sympathetic to human beings) he’ll synchronize his Rouge drinking with hers to make sure she doesn’t starve herself ;-;. Even if she’s just forgetful about drinking/eating, he’ll do what he can to make her life easier (that’s how he shows his affection uwu)

He will, of course, also tease her about being a baby until she kicks him in the shin while Comte sighs and tells him to knock it off with a smack upside the head

Napoleon’s reaction:

Not granddad energy, but you better believe he’s in a weird territory between sheer admiration and “I am your older brother now, eat your vegetables” “But I don’t even need vegetables” “Eat your vegetables and I’ll take you to a crepe shop” “............deal”

Basically it’s unlikely MC is super close to her siblings or even has any (pureblood children are a rare feat) so she’s like......wary, but then she just ???? this is.....kinda nice? Just having somebody that cares in a chill way, but still fully encourages her to throw men across the street if they’re hurting women/children (high fives her every time). He’ll often invite her to the swordplay lessons with the kids alongside Isaac’s teaching; she’s free to join in the learning, or honestly just hang out with people closer to her age (he’s v concerned about her having friends that she can relate to and talk to freely).

Protective in a subtle way, like Leonardo. Escorts her places and helps her carry groceries without fail when Sebas is running other errands. She becomes his crepe shop cover buddy whenever he has an intense hankering for sweets: “wanna go to that crepe shop around the corner” “you’re just too chicken to go alone, fool” “do you want crepes or not nunuche” “............BOKBOKBOK” “aight that’s it **gives her a noogie**” (they go anyway and have a marvelous time rating the crepes from best to worst, they got a whole list goin’)

Glares Arthur down if he so much as LOOKS in her direction

Mozart’s reaction:

Mozart is just the “what is with this sassy, lost child?” meme. Doesn’t dislike them, but they are just not remotely threatened by his haughty disdain by any extension. And he HATES IT. The MC is always just “Okay, boomer” and he just ?????? He doesn’t know what it means but it’s openly dismissive, so he mad.

Like idk if y’all know this meme, but it’s the same energy as:

It’s only when he notices she’s always punctual and careful with his requests that he starts to warm up. For example, she makes him a mocha by combining the way he likes his coffee and hot cocoa to perfection when he falls asleep at his piano. (She feels bad for him after Comte explains because--though he’s got a stick up his butt--he’s clearly distressed in his new surroundings ;-; Plus, the kind of perfectionism Mozart exudes is an extension of internalized shame, and when she begins to see that she really shifts her approach.) As such, he begins to soften to her presence. He begins to see that she isn’t indifferent to his existence, it’s more that she sees no need for intimidation and believes admiration is earned (basic respect isn’t a privilege, it’s a right). When he figures that out, he stops being so barbed and terse--starts to relax. Offers to let her stay and listen to his pieces if she wants, and she’s honestly touched given his clear struggle with vulnerability. Cuddles with Schelm at the window as he plays, and they become good friends.

As a result, Mozart becomes fiercely protective despite her sturdier nature as a pureblood and has hissed venom at Arthur about the fact that she is off fucking limits. Doesn’t leave her alone in the same room as the other men unless it’s with Jeanne or Comte; he don’t trust like that.

Arthur’s reaction:

Sweating a lot at the sudden collection of baleful eyes sticking to his back everywhere he goes, but figures he brought it on himself to an extent. That being said, he can’t really get a word in edgewise given she just walks away when he tries to engage in conversation or compliment her.

Tough nut to crack this one, but he doesn’t let it discourage him. The only way she’ll give him the time of day is to play chess--and she kicks his ass soundly every single time. He’s fascinated by her extensive analytic ability, but she keeps silent about her strategies and thinking. Dazai and Theo always love to watch him get his ass handed to him, but he considers it a really interesting experience; it gives him insight into her mind, no matter how much she tries to hide. Patient, efficient, brutal--this kid has seen some shit, probably.

It’s after that point he just concedes she probably won’t let him in, though it doesn’t diminish his curiosity about the future; and perhaps traces of dread. What does the future look like for both her and Sebastian to be that stoic and aloof? It worries him...

Vincent’s reaction:

Vincent is v v impressed by her sense of self, and honestly sees a lot of Theo in her. She’s a little more reticent than Theo, but she has this same commitment to protecting the vulnerable and penetrating through the lies/shitty convictions of others. She is not a person who bends easily, but even so there’s a quiet kind of gentleness to her: she always chats to him v calmly, asks if he needs anything and is doing okay, doesn’t get impatient when he drops things or forgets his apron for the laundry. I think he would respond very positively to her presence, even if it wasn’t intentional. He just brightens up like a little sun and asks her out to picnics for fun; he has no greater intention than enjoying her smile and silly antics (he doesn’t always understand the references, but the way she executes it with so much dry wit--like Theo--makes him laugh). He just feels the warmth of family/familiarity around her ;~;

Ironically, they’re both exceedingly concerned for the other because they’re too self-sacrificing jkashlgdks like this is 100% a case of “I can’t let a young lady risk getting hurt” “Vincent I’m literally indestructible please just let me do this” “But it still hurts” “But I don’t want you to scar--” (This conversation extends so long that the author felt it would be more beneficial to add an etc. here).

He admires her and trusts in her abilities more due to the nature of her maturity, treats her like a cherished friend and sometimes younger sibling (not condescending but very indulgent; gives her the last of his sweets for example, or pats her on the head when she’s feeling gloomy--more of a wholesome puts her first). But make no mistake, he will throw hands in milliseconds if she gets ganged up on or can’t handle a threat--he just lets her handle most things bc she’s capable~

Isaac’s reaction:

Torn. Because on the one hand, she’s very serious and conscientious about her work--doesn’t want to inconvenience or trouble anyone--and he relates to that heavy.

HOWEVER.

She’s also got insanely chaotic energy when the mood strikes, so when Dazai starts doing his random shitfuckery you better believe MC is upping the ante. (I’m talking AH. ENSLAVED MOISTURE. levels). So Isaac essentially oscillates between thankful for her fortitude to bashing his head against a table for every second he knows her.

In all seriousness though, I would see Isaac as being pretty concerned. Like Vincent, they’re both self-sacrificing to a fault--and he doesn’t want that for her, especially given how young she is. Often tells her not to overdo it or to ask for help if she looks overwhelmed, though it’s not condemning; he says it softly with a neutral look on his face. (He considers it a Certified Mood^TM). He just wants to give back all the care she puts into helping around the house. He doesn’t feel right watching a kid work so hard without reminding her that she should find time to have fun and live for herself too. There will be plenty of time when she’s older to get serious.

He has a fairly easy time interacting with her because of his experience with kids; he takes her seriously (when she’s not clowning) and treats her autonomy with respect. If anything, she’s probably the protective one. She knows he’s an aberrant so she pays laser attention to when he’s suffering and brings him Rouge (not scared because she’s stronger than him and not human lmao, and she sees no need to put Sebastian at risk). When that uni pres pesters him, she goes cold and angry and asks the man to step off when she sees him start to downspiral. They’re essentially on equal footing (he has more life experience, she has more bodily strength/confidence). They're just chill and kind with each other (babies of the mansion, beloved by all).

Theodorus' reaction:

Because he is a manchild, he will be chill/generally indifferent until Vincent starts being indulgent with her (bro-con). He won't be violent or anything like that, but he will pout a storm and try to verbally shoo her away. Because she's a woman, intelligent, and likely a feminist--this will become hilarious because she will not remotely take him seriously. She will just ignore him or roast him in seconds before moving on with her day. Otherwise he doesn't care much because he doesn't have time to play babysitter (unless there's no one else to help).

At the most, he'll make sure she's safe and use the excuse that Vincent would be upset if he did anything less. If she likes/loves dogs and plays with King while she's there, he'll soften up and thank her for taking care of him. If she makes hella pancakes, he'll be the proudest about it--ruffling her hair. If she protects Vincent in any capacity, he'll be torn between jealous, grateful and impressed; he likes a kid that can hold their own and take responsibility within their abilities.

So their relationship is v much like a chill uncle with their niece; fond, but not necessarily super close or spend a ton of time together. He has his priorities, but he won't be an asshat (mostly).

Jeanne's reaction:

Jeanne is confused on so many levels. He doesn't dislike her spunk he's just staggered by her level of sheer reckless, righteous rage. (And he's a bit wary in the face of another pureblood as a potential enemy) but after a bit more time around her he relaxes. She's fairly simple to understand when you get to know her; cares about others to a fault, existential dread, overworks herself. Stays watchful, but he just treats her like the younger kids that Napoleon brings by the weapons shop when they need armor for practice. It can get a little funny because he’ll just be like “uhhhh uh kids like sweet stuff right? Here have some of the macaroons somebody brought by earlier, I don’t like ‘em that much anyway.” And she just “??? Thanks???” He doesn’t mind being around her, just doesn’t really know what to say so they often fall into comfortable silence after exchanging small talk. She likes that he isn’t complicated; what you see is what you get with Jeanne. It’s nice not to have to keep her guard up every second of the day,

When he sees her feeling particularly down, he’ll take her to that little field of white lilies behind the mansion during a full moon night. The silver light seems to make the petals emit an ethereal glow, and she makes him a flower crown in thanks. He listens kindly if she wants to talk, and if she doesn’t--that’s okay too; he’ll just give her a head pat.

Honestly he finds a lot of relief in the fact that she's a pureblood, because he feels less nervous about her being fragile or her getting fatally hurt when he’s not around. Will still be very gentle with her and protect her when she’s in proximity

Mission Status: Fucking Wholesome

Dazai’s reaction:

Big brother time? It’s big brother time!!!! He instantly makes it his subtle mission to look after her, though he’s v lowkey abt it. She takes one look at this depressed mofo climbing in through the window and just goes “aw yeah, this guy FUCKS” and they become besties at a glance. They basically make a game out of who can be the most absurd whenever they’re in the same room. Comte and Leo find it utterly hilarious, Napoleon is digging a grave for Isaac in the backyard (we all know his heart won’t be able to take it. Mozart is probably next. A moment of silence for our fallen.)

I just imagine them like that one post (@/acoolguy):

Dazai: You ever have to shake your leg because there’s a rock in it? MC: That’s your bones Dazai: Every day I learn some more

He’ll always share treats with her and brings her along for walks if she’s feeling wanderlust; he knows how hard it can be, how restless the heart becomes so far from home. He does his best to distract her with their ongoing jokes, but one day it starts raining very suddenly while they’re out. He rushes her under the nearest tree with broad, broad leaves and settles his haori/overcoat over her head. He looks incredibly serious as he looks to the sky--almost glowering at the dark clouds gathering, He doesn’t look at all like his usual fun-loving self in that split second, even though he’s back to his good-natured chirping “Guess we’ll just have to wait out the downpour. MC, are you cold? I should have been more careful.” She shakes her head and shares the coat with him, holding it out insistently until he relents. Their hands brush and she notices they’re freezing, but she doesn’t say anything. She seems to sense he has a lot on his mind, and leans her shoulder against his. The silence feels fragile; she doesn’t want to risk shattering it--shattering him. It is often said that it is an act of great courage to wipe away someone’s tears. But it can also be an act of great gentleness to turn away, to pretend one cannot see them fall (whether visible or not).

One day, after MC returns to her own time, Dazai returns to his room to find two shadows hanging from his window. Though a little crude--they’ve obviously been made by a beginner--it’s clear what they are. Rain ghosts. (Sebastian later explains it was MC’s wish that he have them, and Dazai only smiles very, very gently in response.)

Shakespeare’s reaction:

MC gets one look at him and knows something’s off. She can’t quite tell what it is, but he doesn’t feel like the rest of the family. She can sense something behind him, something lurking; but she can’t quite place it. (Comte has mentioned before that purebloods can sense each other, so I imagine MC knows right off the bat he isn’t a normal sired vampire--she just doesn’t know enough to identify exactly what it is.)

That being said, she is sus. He keeps talking like some kind of weird ass court jester/fae, and she hated his work when she had to do it for school (only enjoyed the Hamlet memes because, let’s be real, that shit is uproarious). When he tries to coax her to see Vlad with him, she says “'Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, yet you cannot play upon me.” And he just freezes in place before he starts laughing. Considers their battle of wills well-played, and warns her not to go out alone--doesn’t bother her again. Though sometimes enjoys listening to her conversations with others for good roast material. (No he is not taking notes, no this new chara is just fire and feral for no good reason--nothing to do with MC)

Sebastian’s reaction:

The l o r e, MC. Give him the forbidden pureblood lore. Will be incredibly curious and ask about what vampires are like outside of the mansion, for science of course. If he senses discomfort though his questions will die down completely--it’s not his intention to make her uncomfortable. He’s just curious!

Despite his stoicism he’s actually a very, very understanding and warm person. Will listen to any teenage jadedness or hopelessness with fond patience, recalling the days he was similar. He’ll offer what advice he can. He’s not one to be preachy, but if he sees someone at a loss, he’ll offer what he thinks might be a productive direction for them. Given her removal from her home and parents--even though she’s already well into high school--he’ll sympathize deeply with her position. Will be a firm but gentle guardian (hello Mansion Mom #2), offers her candy every time she does a chore exceptionally well or offers assistance without prompting. She’s sus and takes it reluctantly at first, but after she tries one in private secretly loves them. Sebas is just silently “you like krabby patties don’t you, squidward”. If she’s honest, she’s comforted by the sense of normalcy and care he gives, the harmless joking and easy respect for others (unless otherwise provoked).

When she finds out about his hobby considers him to be a Fucking Nerd^TM and wants to shove him into a locker, but in reality is endeared by how much he genuinely cares about the men. She thinks it’s a harmless fascination, and she senses the oddest...ephemerality about him. Because of this, she becomes pretty protective; he’s a human and he’s too nice for his own good. While she identifies in one sense, she worries in another. Pureblood are sturdy, but humans can’t necessarily sustain that kind of constant self-giving for long...

Also bc my tag game too strong adding it here: #i love the prospect of pureblood MC trying to bring Sebas and Napo together #MC: bruh i got this #Sebas, full of gay panic: wait, MC nO--

Meme tl;dr in the tags also for your enjoyment! I’m sorry this one took a little longer than most to finish!

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp headcanons #ikevamp napoleon #ikevamp mozart #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp leo #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp isaac #ikevamp theo #ikevamp jeanne #ikevamp jean #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp shakespeare #ikevamp sebastian #gen z pureblood mc #i had a lot of fun writing this! I hope this met your expectations friend! c:#comte and leo: uwu grandparents #mozart: okay BOOMER #napo: HAHAHA shithead siblings i love it #arthur and shakes: wouldn't you like to know weather boy. 'where are your parents??' (parts one and two)#vincent and isaac: BRUH S A M E S I E S #theo: **meme voice** 'is there anything worse than a rapist?' BOOM 'a child.' 'N O!'#jeanne: endearing but out of touch uncle while dazai is WOOOOO LET'S DRINK BLEACH uncle #sebastian: ah yes ty for the modicum of brain cells and competence that also shatters gender norms my good bi bitch #**Gilligan's cut to MC and Dazai wearing sunglasses and matching hats that read 'i put the (me) in disappointment'**

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homosociallyyours · 4 years

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@velvet-impala tagged me to answer this long set of questions, and bc I love this sort of thing I’m DOING IT! I’ll tag folks here just in case you don’t want to read thru this whole dang thing. But I wanna say: if you want to do this, PLEASE DO IT and tag me so I can see-- I *love* reading responses to stuff like this. But @la-paritalienne @disgruntledkittenface @and-id-marry-larry @calmrry @crinkle-eyed-boo @lightwoodsmagic -- y’all are tagged :)

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? black, but what matters most is how smoothly it writes.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? walkable neighborhood in a city. 3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? would love to learn how to hack into billionaire bank accounts without getting caught so i could redistribute their wealth to a variety of mutual aid funds. :) 4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? no, just milk! unless it’s really shitty/bitter coffee, and then i will take it with a couple sugars or sweetened creamer.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? probably the Anne of Green Gables books 6. Do you prefer baths or showers? showers! i wanna love a bath, but i get bored too fast and i never feel comfortable (where do i put my head? my feet? what do i do when my belly isn’t covered by the water and it gets cold?) so they’re meh.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? dryad! i wanna be a tree spirit!

8. Paper or electronic books? paper, i guess. but i do love reading fic electronically, so..

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? used to be my work hoodie. but now i would say this blue striped button down i have OR this one black dress i have with 3/4 sleeves that’s really soft and comfy.

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? i always meant to start going by Dottie when I got older, but it hasn’t happened yet so it probably won’t by now? but i would never change my name generally speaking.

more after the cut!

11. Who is a mentor to you? i had a co-worker who was really a mentor for me since i got into being a cheesemonger in 2008. he’s been in the industry for a long time and basically recruited me to the job i have/had here. but when i got sick he basically dropped me/hasn’t spoken to me in a long time. let me tell you: it fucking sucks. bc a mentor is a cross between a friend and a colleague and a relative; we jokingly called him my lesbian uncle. and so losing him from my life so completely over something like this is deeply shitty.

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? not now, but before i was sick i would’ve said yes. BUT only bc i think i would be a great Saturday Night Live host (not a cast member! just a one time host with a monologue/skits). So whatever level of fame i needed to get that..

13. Are you a restless sleeper? I have really bad insomnia that means i take at least an hour to fall asleep most nights. Once I’m out, I usually sleep ok, but i do have intense dreams/nightmares that wake me up sometimes.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? yeah :/

15. Which element best represents you? earth: the wet dirt and leaves in a forest after rain in particular

16. Who do you want to be closer to? emotionally i’m pretty good i think. physically i wish i could be closer to friends and family in NYC, Seattle area, TN/Atlanta, and Germany

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? the people referenced above. also missing my Grandmomma a lot lately and my mom.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. art lessons with my grandmomma. her set of pastels that were all worn down and the heavy paper (black) that she pulled out to work on. she drew a quick portrait of a man, showing me how to create depth in skin tones with blue and green against the softer flesh tones. she didn’t blend it out, the marks all painterly and strong-- her style. i was 10, maybe? 12? so not *early* but it feels like forever ago.

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? i have no idea? i’ve eaten a lot of weirdish cheeses. i’ve had geoduck?

20. What are you most thankful for? the amazing friends i’ve gathered into my life along the way, my dad, and my baby dog.

21. Do you like spicy food? yes, within reason (i don’t get stuff that’s spicy just for the heck of it, like ghost pepper chips or whatever? but when spice is integrated in with other flavors i love it)

22. Have you ever met someone famous? i used to make up stories about meeting famous people that were based on partial truths. i’ve hung out with or met a lot of gay famous people. but the biggest person who comes to mind is Sandra Bernhard. I sold her cheese. 23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? i have over the years. now i sometimes write things down in a paper journal, but mostly go to a really old blogging site where i basically put all my big feelings down in a public but sorta private spot.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? depends on my mood.

25. What is your star sign? taurus sun and moon, gemini rising

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? in between...not HARD crunchy, but not soft soggy.

27. What would you want your legacy to be? would like people to remember that i loved them well and made them feel good/happy when i was around them. and hopefully that it made them feel like being good to others too.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? i do, but i’m mostly reading fic these days. i think the thing i read last was Pink Like the Paradise Found, which was FANTASTIC!

29. How do you show someone you love them? i tell them, shower them with physical affection, and do little things for them. also try to remember small details about what they enjoy and then do stuff to make them feel good when they’re down

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? yes, but not too much

31. What are you afraid of? sometimes being along but only when it’s very dark out and i’m in the sads. honestly-- this is some deep internalized ableism but here it is --i’m very afraid of never getting better and not being able to take care of myself or anyone else.

32. What is your favourite scent? jasmine flowers, pu-er tea, the specific scents of people i love

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? however they’re introduced i guess. maybe because i’m an older person lol

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? i would live in the apartment i had alone (with a guest room). i would hire someone from my community to come help me out sometimes. i would get a weekly grocery delivery from the good quality place. i would have a dog walker. and i would fly home to see my family more than once a year and fly my family out for a visit sometimes. so like. probably the way a lot of ppl live? idk.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? ocean

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? get dinner at the thai restaurant down the street a couple times.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? yes, lots!

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? i’m not having kids BUT for the kids in my life, i try to teach them/model the importance of consent and respect for their own bodies as well as other people’s. and i know it said one thing, but alongside that is that i respect and love them for who they are, and that’s something they get to decide.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? i want a lot of tattoos, but if i could get one tomorrow it would be a cheese themed tattoo with a variety of cheese knives (parm tools, dutch style knife) and a small cheese assortment. or a portrait of my dog

40. What can you hear now? this kinda dumb netflix show that i decided to binge today even tho it’s only kinda meh and my dog snoring just a little.

41. Where do you feel the safest? when i’m surrounded by friends.

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? my stupid money issues prolly

43. Of you could travel back to any era, what would it be? wanna go back to 1977 and live in the girl direction AU i wrote last year, lol.

44. What is your most used emoji? laugh crying emoji or sobbing maybe

45. Describe yourself using one word. colorful

46. What do you regret the most? not sure if this is a thing but i regret not realizing when i got bitten by a tick/got lyme disease the first time, bc maybe i could’ve just taken antibiotics and killed it, and then maybe i wouldn’t be sick?

47. Last movie you saw? watched the new charlie’s angels the other night

48. Last tv show you watched? this dumb show is called sweet magnolias, and it’s. honestly not terrible! it’s just not my style of show. OH WAIT i take it back, they left it on a really shitty cliffhanger without warning, and that is the one way to make me drop your show/fic HARD unless i like. genuinely love you. so byeeee dumb show, hope you get cancelled

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. saungry: sadness brought on by being hungry, like hangry except oops you’re crying now! example: “fuck i knew i should’ve eaten before calling my best friend, now i miss them and i’m too saungry to figure out what to eat! Guess I’ll have tears for dinner” (almost called it sungry, but the internet thinks that might just mean ‘so hungry’)

did you make it to the end? WOW! devotion. thank you.

#about me #long post #text post #livejournal throwback

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feisty-fae · 4 years

Note

If you still do the flower ask thingys.. 👉👈 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙜𝙤 :)

HoooH boY hEre we gO-

Alisons: Sexuality?

I sexually identify as a can of beans

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

Cis female she/her

Amaryllis: Birthday?

27 September

Anemone: Favorite flower?

All flowers pretty,, but stargazer lily, rose, dahlia and cherry blossoms

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

I don't watch tv but I'll list some other stuff i like to watch:mha, beastars and aggretsuko

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

Idk depends on scenario??

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

"Kanye West he likes, fingers in his ass."

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

Any Milkshakes or smoothies (mostly banana and strawberry for milkshake and p much anything for smoothie)

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I've never had kith

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

Well you see yes but actually no

Baneberries: Favorite song?

I listen to a lot but to keep it short:baby in the kitchen, in my mouth and friends slowed (chase atlantic)

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

We p chill fam

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

Irl bestie,, shes not on tumblr lol

Begonia: Favorite color?

PinKKK

But i like most colours

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

Cats,,,,

FoxES,

ANYTHING CUDDLY AND CUTE

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

Night

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

I'd be like a doggo bc it would be the most fun i think-

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a vet but then when my granny asked me "but whos gonna clean up the animal poop?" I was like "eWW pO0pP!" and then decided that mayb i shouldn't be a vet

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

They're either really kind and sweet

Or literal demons from hell

Legit no inbetween

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

I'm afraid of lot of things-

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

I was one dumbass bitcg-

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

Idk eat pizza and cry or smth ajakamkw

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

Single

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

NEW YORKKK, CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFF THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO NOW YOU'RE IN NEW YOOORKKK

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

When someone hugs me or just generally spends time with me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?

Nop

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

I used to have piercings when i was a bab but eHh haven't worn them since and i dont think my ear holes are big enough now-

California Poppy: Height?

4'10 grrr I'm the omega midget and I'll devour ur ankles

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

Nop

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

Pant, pink top and black hoodie

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

I think i have??

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?

My mom and my dad

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

I never kith

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

I dont have one so imma say sans bc it always looks out of place and makes me laugh-

Columbine: Are you tired?

I feel like screaming and jumping around my room like a crackhead

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

Nothing in particular ig

Coneflower: Dream job?

Smth kinda fun and art or design related hopefully,,,,

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert but i also get lonley easily

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

Nop,,,,

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

I would get run over by 5 monster trucks, jump off a plane, get mauled by 10 bears, get trampled on by a stampede, get brutally tortured for 12 hours straight, yeet myself into the Grand Canyon and then break all my bones with my bare hands if they weren't broken already

Ok basically i care a lot

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

I had this st bernard plush called Sparky and this lion named Sammy,,

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

Libra

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

My memory is legit so bad it's probably concerning uHHH

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

Mayb art??

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?

Ehhh i might reason with them and then if they still disagreed I'd just keep the relationship a secret

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

My parents

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

Ehhh arT

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

EhhHh everything that isn't art-

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

Oh boy here comes my shitty memory-

Hmmm

Idk but I'm mostly happy that I've been more social and stuff and i feel like im kinda coming out of my shell a bit

Not sure what to say for other 2 bc nothing in particular has really happend?

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

Ehhh oK??

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

Mayhapsn't

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

I hope to pass all my exams and get an okish job mayb

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

1.fRIENBS ILY MY HABIBIS

2. Fammm

3. eHhh yummy food,,

4. Drawing and uhhh art

5. EPIC MUTUALS

6. Ok idk what else aside from like serious stuff like house and etc.-

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

Drawing, crying, venting to a friend/parent

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

Hugssss,kith,cuddle, *draws u stuff*

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

MmmmmMy aRRt?

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

Wake up

Don't go to school

Vibe with friends

Sleeb

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?

MmMmMM aRT-

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Ehh 8yrs? We met in hell school

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

Friendos

Mom

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

6..?? Aa idk theres some people that idk if they'd consider me a friend or not,,

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

Idk any compliment is best compliment for me,,

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

Ew yucky gröss

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

m y a r t

Also my hair bc its soft and wavy,,

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

Everything else-

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

Climb trees and do dumb shit

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

Same irl bestie i mentioned before

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

MmmmmmMMM,,,

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

MMMmMMmMMMMmmmMMm,,,,,,

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

Well I chose Fae bc i thought it sounded pretty

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

Idk what to rlly say lmao

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

Kinda the same but i had toys everywhere-

Also when i was like 5 i had this legit fucking cursed thomas the tank engine shaped bed that i actually found a pic of but it's FUCKING HORRIFYING SO I PROBS WONT SHOW HERE-

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

EW BEING A TEENAGER SUCKS ASS HOW DO I UNDO????

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

Hi mom ily ur epic

Onions: Tell about your dad.

Hi dad ily ur epic

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

Omg i miss my grannies sm bc i couldn't see em this year bc nasty pandemic

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

Haha shit memory gor brrRR-

I don't really remember too many specific parties but when i was like 7-10 i had these epic parties in those birthday places with the giant play areas

I kinda wish i wasn't too old to go to them sobs

Peony: What was your first job?

I haven't had a job yet

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

Hmmmm idk? I haven't really thought abt that but i don't really mind i just wanna find someone to vibe with,,

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

I cri

Pink: Where is home?

Home is home home

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

Now where do i start...

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

I look up to people that are kind, caring, brave, funny, cool or stronger than me ig?

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

Basically my current life minus school, stress,pandemic and responsibilities lmao

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

I used to believe in ghosts after i thought i encountered one

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

Hermmmst

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

Peoples laughsss also music

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Bro i dont have one,, my aphantasia makes it hard for me to remember stuff-

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

I wantttt better chargersss thattt donttt telll meee thatt myyy tablett will finishh chargingg innn 1 dayy andd 7 hoursss

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

Kinda difficult but im opening up more

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

fRIENDS,,,,,wAh

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

8 hrs

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

Idk ig i kinda have to go to school and do stuff

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

Non existant

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

My black and white stripy top, and all my hoodiess

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.

I don't think i have just one aesthetic bc im drawn to so many different aesthetics at the same time-

Like vintage, neon, dark, spoopy, pastel, cute, etc etc

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

OMG I LEGIT JUST SCREAM AT ANYTHING ANYONE GIVES ME-

IF SOMEONE GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE ME SMTH I CRY,,

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

🤏

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

I haven't been reading anythinggg

But i should really finish reading Percy Jackson bc it do be picking up dust-

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

Everywhere

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

Mmm yummy 👅

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

I am currently living and breathing yes

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youghvaudough · 4 years

Text

Rewatched Hannibal Recently...

... here are some random thoughts brain chips on the third season

watch out for a text wall it's a doozy down under

this rewatching I finally realized the first half of this season Hannibal was basically like “I’m touring Europe with Bedelia one last time before I check myself into jail so I can see my bf often”

Will must’ve been real good at arts and crafts. He made a whole ass butterfly?bee?dragonfly?firefly man display out of shattered wine bottles and garbage from a basement basically

Also how did he not cut his hands with the glass???? He had leather gloves sure but it’s not like those are cut resistant?????? Does he have cut-resistant leather gloves???????

In Hannibal Rising Chiyoh is Hanni’s aunt’s lady-in-waiting (?) and was described as being about his age; if we’re going by that, she’s the same age as him in the show, which, ughhhhhh, let’s just say really really plays into the idea of us Asians not raisining (not mad at all; Tao Okamoto is so beautiful im gay as HELL —)

Bedelia: you’re in love with Will Graham and also leave me alone plz can I stop finishing murders on your behalf now

Hannibal was remarkably off his killing game at the end of the second season (or just really on his planning game) like NO ONE except for poor Abigail is dead by the 3rd season

Thinking about the filming of some scenes is so funny like:

the crew carrying leather arm chairs and fancy glass side tables into the middle of some woods for a single shot

Bryan Fuller being like “ughhhh can I get a membrane-like sheet over this macro lens so I can film it bring sliced open like its will’s stomach skin”

“also I need three thousand gallons of fake blood for some cool reverse drip shots”

everyone: Will help us catch Hannibal you must hate him so much right???? Will: busy imagining alternate reality where he and Hannibal actually worked it out at the end of the 2nd season

Will: tries his damndest to ignore everyone telling him he and Hannibal are in love while being very much smitten

Mason: talks religious mumbo jumbo Alana after her bi awakening: *choke stare

the only saving grace for Jack Crawford is how much he’s the “I love my wife” trope

Frederic: ...why does no one wanna help me with Hannibal hunting when I go a-knocking but when Will does it everyone’s with him????????? What’d I do

No one: Bryan Fuller: I NEED SOME SNAIL FUCKING SHOTS HERE

Bedelia: i feel like I’m your diet Will Graham Hannibal: what? no *continues to talk about how special Will Graham is and how no one will be his equal basically

WOAH question on Chiyoh so did Hannibal ~literally~ taxidermy her in time with some cannibal magic & that’s why she looks about, I don’t know, in her twenties still ?????? /s

Bryan Fuller: NOW I NEED TO OPEN AN OLD PAYPHONE FOR AN INTERIOR SHOT

Chiyoh: he’s good looking but dumb about Hannibal so

I’ll kiss him

then push him off the train

(hopefully dude’ll be warned but also finally learn how to gay)

Bryan Fuller: ARE YOU MISSING SOME SLOW MOTION SHOTS OF HUGH DANCY FLIPPING OF THE TRAIN IN YOUR LIFE? ALWAYS

how did Mason and Pazzi achieve high resolution uninterrupted overseas video chat with the front camera of Apple laptops????? the power of wealth????? whenever I call my mom my phone turns into a potato pretty much

the jack v hannibal fight was the ultimate “I luh my dead wife” man v “I just need to stay alive and go meet my boyfriend” man fight

Bedelia: I know what your goodbye is; I know what you wanna do to Will and you’re in love with the dude. No thanks I’ll yeet myself outta here

“waving your uterus around like a weapon” how iconic

Dolce will forever go down in cinematic history there I said it. Nothing tops the mirroring scars, the downright sensual romantic dialogue in front of a fucking Botticelli, this 水乳交融 of two minds (can’t find a good enough translation other than maybe “melding”), one of the weirdest most kaleidoscope-forward lesbian sex scene of all times, a lot of overlapping orgasm faces, reflexive hugs and pats of comfort, weirdly timed lip-lickings, etc etc

At least Mason recognizes how good looking Will’s is lmao even with all the burnt penis talk on the table

“He’s looking very dry a little moisturizer please” Mason your gay is showing

“It’s dangerous getting exactly what you want” yeah we got this season of Hannibal and then no more of it I’d say you’re right on the money Dr. Lecter

Alana and Margot helping Hannibal and Will: LGBT solidarity at its finest

dumbest thing mason did was probably pissing off Margot

So basically Chiyoh is made of a stable metal element between iron and silver that’s why she doesn’t age?????? /s

maybe “I found you in my mind palace” can be our “always”

I remember the first time I watched Digestivo and I was so worried Hannibal’s gonna finish eating Will or take off or continue into the book silence of the lamb arc or something after Will basically went “I won’t go looking for you at all bye bitch where my dogs at” so imagine my fucking delight ecstasy when Hannibal threw himself at the FBI just so Will can always find him. I cried buckets and became a devout Bryan Fuller STAN that day

Chiyoh: fuck this shit im out; don’t wanna protect this idiot boy with luv no mo

Molly: weirdly familiar sharp features, sand-blond hair, husky sultry deeper voice hmmmmmmmmm guess WHAT

...but she actually likes doggos so

Bryan Fuller: HUGH DANCY. COVERED IN BLOOD. NAKED. UNDER THE MOONLIGHT. NOW

Will gives Bedelia SO MUCH SHIT about using Hannibal as a means to fame that he almost forgets how possessive protective of Hanni this makes him look

Bedelia: calm yo ass do you know how many “Will is special you’ll never be him” talks I’ve been in with Hannibal as the main lecturer?????

Bedelia: did you go visit him Will: ...yeah Bedelia: whelp fuck my leg is about good as steak any day now

An odd detail I remember about this Will/Bedelia interaction was Bryan Fuller saying in some interview (probably) that this is basically wife confronting mistress; you know who’s which

when Reba was touching the tiger that vet guy must’ve stayed in the room right??? for safety and stuff??? guy must’ve had the weirdest time just seeing Francis freak the fuck out watching Reba

also Reba deserves all the nice things in the world; Francis though an overall shitty person can recognize beauty

...wait i take it back dude said Will was ugly (ok he said “not very handsome” but) like bitch where

for a series with pretty good sfx that teeth scene in 310 was fake as f---

will and bedelia taking shots at each other verbally cracks me tf up like is this the psychology people’s version of “you suck” “uno reverse”

i have to keep reminding myself that this is a crime show that actually aired on national tv bc these dialogues mama??? downright telenovela. Bryan Fuller has a point when he described them as wife and mistress

Bedelia: I would’ve preferred to be bluebeard’s last wife Will: challenge accepted

i cannot stress this enough REBA DESERVES BETTER she seems like the nicest, most well-meaning person ever and deserves to be cherished like so

it's so strange, getting everything that you want; take Will’s slow-burn-esque realization of Hannibal’s twisted affections for example

Bryan Fuller: NOW GIVE ME A CLOSE UP OF ICE SUCKING

So basically Hannibal’s attitude is “if I can’t be a constant fixture in his life I’ll be on his mind”

Hannibal is always a sucker for some good will ehhhh

Hannibal, in a police vehicle: get in Will we’re going cliff-diving dragon hunting; no but the actual line is just as cheesy geez hanni u smooth man-eater

The Bloom-Vergers look straight out of some gothic family catalog (if those exist)

like i will spare y’all the contrived complements of the Wrath of the Lamb bc like fucking hells mate there's no straight explanation for this finale

that’s it thanks for reading mates hannigram forever also someday some wealthy person will revive this I'm sure and we’ll rejoice then

#hannibal #nbc hannibal #hannigram #will graham #chiyoh #brain chips #im sorry but also not #hannibal s3 #i really appreciate Bryan Fuller if you cant tell #thank you for your service mr fuller #me rambling #bedelia du maurier #jack crawford #reba mcclane #bryan fuller

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sanguinarius-archive · 4 years

Note

Hey! Could I get to know some of your headcanons about dickfigures/your designs for them? :D

ya ya sure!!!!

i already have my designs for them up if you havent seen, here they are!

as for headcanons idk how long this post will be so ill just add a read more for anyone who might not wanna scroll thru it all lol

red!!!!!

his real name is rowan bc i thought it was cute, also it means “little red one” which is eVEN BETTER

he’s nonbinary masc and bisexual! the self projection is REAL

he has adhd

most of my headcanons kinda flow into my own version of dick figures because i’m not very Satisfied with canon NJSJDNSKM so like. for example red doesn’t just kill people or whatever. he gets into fights and has scars and wears bandaids a lot bc of them

he graduated college with blue, he got a bachelor’s degree in fine arts (honestly idk how college works bc im a grade 10 baby so if thats like totally wrong just let me know also im. canadian so idk how american school system works LOL)

red got suspended a lot in high school but never expelled. mostly bc he got in fights that were mainly him protecting stacey from shitty people (he sees her as his sister so he was rlly protective) and the school wasnt really sure what else to do so they just. you know. suspended him a bunch of times hoping itd do something but it didnt

he hates his dad! reason being is bc when he was born, his dad was actually an alien able to disguise himself as human, so he wanted to take red back to his home planet cuz red turned out to be more powerful than anything his dad had ever seen. but red’s mom was like Nope, so she snuck out with him and his plush cat (kitty amazing) and they were never found. red is very close with his mom and is scared of his dad coming back someday

we know he canonically likes rlly loud music so im just gonna project here and say he’s a metalhead. at least, some form of it. he likes the alt scene music and industrial rock. examples being deftones, nine inch nails, skinny puppy, rage against the machine, kittie and others. it keeps him focused and calm

bLUE!!!

we know blue was bullied as a kid but i dont wanna say red also bullied him bc i feel like thats just wrong to me? MAYBE ITS NOT ACTUALLY but it just makes me sad so like. lets say red, being as protective as he is, stood up for blue a lot cuz he was like “oh this kid cant fight” so he knew what to do

blue dated pink for awhile but they mutually agreed to break up after blue realized this wasnt what he wanted (he came to the conclusion that he was gay, well, he knew for awhile but it was Internalized Homophobia)

he grew up in a very conservative family so to see the world completely differently by meeting red, ems (lt), pink and stacey was a very good thing for him. unfortunately even tho his family did love him, it was conditional so they stopped talking to him after he came out. thankfully he’d already graduated high school by that point

despite being emotional blue isn’t very good at understanding how he’s an emotional person. he’s able to distinct one feeling from another and analyze them, but it’s just... hard for him to kind of. process WHY he feels a certain way? which is what’s led to a lot of his struggles in getting closer with ppl

he loooves reading and writing we already know this but i mean come on. he also got a bachelor’s degree in english/ela. so he’s able to become a teacher ig but he doesn’t really want to? at least not for awhile yet

blue was ems’ first friend. at first he couldn’t understand why they had tics but decided he shouldn’t get into someone else’s business. he didn’t find it weird, just cool!

he and red would always pair up for projects if they had classes together!!!!!! blue would do the writing/research and red would do the illustrations. they always turned out really good even if it ended with red cramming it at the last minute

surprisingly hates broseph more than red. well i mean its not surprising, because broseph was always a huge DICK to him

blue’s real name is wyatt!!!!! i forget the meaning but i felt the sound of it and the meaning fit him well

piiiiink!!!!!!!!!!

she’s still in college, getting her doctorate to be an astrophysicist!

pink is very very smart and will help anyone who’s struggling with something in school. she was basically the genius who always got in the honor roll every year. but, she actually was really anxious especially with exams

pink encourages stacey to go back to school, and sometimes stacey does, but she always ends up leaving again. it’s a little stressful but pink has hope for her

she’s never drank one sip of alcohol in her entire life. she smoked weed once, but it felt weird so she didn’t do it again

ever since she and blue broke up she’s been very supportive of him bc she herself is bisexual!!! so she sees nothing weird about it. in fact, about almost a year later she started dating stacey

pink’s real name is lily. when she became friends with blue she met red through him and she was like “can i join your nickname thing” and they said “sure” so they called her pink. stacey sometimes calls her pinky or just pink but mostly lily

pink helped red with academics. even tho he was sometimes insufferable to work with (/j thats a Joke i promise she’s a very patient person) she didn’t give up on him!!!! in return he helped her out with some fitness stuff cuz pink was always insecure about gym, and later when she graduated she actually got into exercising bc of red!

she loves travelling and going for walks. she owns a lot of houseplants and she’s given them all names and takes very good care of them! she also owns an albino ball python named Velvet

STACEYYY!!!!!!!

stacey is nOT actually all about sex this time ok. i don’t like that. i mean she did have some personality in canon but it wasn’t much? anyways she just really likes to express herself thru tight/”risque” clothing like fishnets and leather and pleated skirts and thigh-highs and platform boots, all of that. basically she’s a goth girl but doesn’t really “act” like one

she’s really intelligent when it comes to animals and insects and will tell you anything you need to know. when she goes back to college she gets a degree in environmental science

stacey can play the electric and bass guitars!!!! she was in a band back in high school but it never really went anywhere beyond performances at parties in someone’s garage. not that she didn’t like it, looking back on it makes her feel happy, but she wished it continued. probably why she has a hard time going back to college bc she’s not sure what she really wants

stacey is a trans woman btw!!!!! unfortunately it was a little difficult in high school to be who she was bc some kids were jerks, but there were a lot of others who supported her which is good

she views red as her brother as well and they still hang out a lot

i haven’t really had time to focus on stacey and make headcanons and stuff for her so i don’t have a lot but... let’s say, secretly, she’s a scifi nerd. and for the sake of debate, let’s say she’s a marvel fan. if you count being a fan of deadpool as being a fan of marvel

LOVES GIRLS.... loves pink!!!

has very similar music taste to red’s!!!!!

emssss!!!!!!! (lt)

instead of being a stereotype of ppl with tourette’s syndrome, it’s just a normal thing that isn’t focused on a whole lot. it doesn’t make ems swear but if they get really really frustrated they’ll curse while doing one of their tics

ems is agender, i’d say they’re also ageless but i don’t really want to make them too “nonhuman” because i feel like that’s dehumanizing to people with tourette’s. so let’s just say most laws of existence don’t apply to them

they’re very friendly!

they’re an aspiring musician, just like in canon

ems is also big into horror movies believe it or not. they’re pretty critical of them though like most horror movie fans, and only like specific ones (i’m not a horror movie fan myself so i can’t say what Specific Ones they like ajsdhbjn just imagine they have good taste okay)

they r very artsy too and like doing crafts cause it gives them something to focus on. it’s just a hobby though it’s not something they’re Professional at

they love nature and flowers and trees and all kinds of plants and animals!!! they like to document what they see when they travel thru nature and stuff so they bring a camera with them (and their phone, but, you know whatever)

ems was never really affected by things people said to them regarding their syndrome. to them it was something they were born with, so they couldn’t bother to feel bad about themselves. in certain situations theyre able to control it but 90% of the time they don’t care about what ppl think

aaaand there u go!!! as for minor characters like raccoon, jason/trollz0r, broseph, dingleberry, they all exist (raccoon isnt a racist stereotype tho), i just dont focus on them a whole lot. most of my hcs for stacey and ems here were thought up on the spot since i havent had time to lay out all my ideas for them but i hope what i have here is good !!!!

also, red and blue ARE dating, and pink and stacey ARE ALSO dating. gay rights

#asks #dick figures #Anonymous

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sofhtie · 5 years

Note

all i want from life is a second season of fantasy high where aelwyn gets out of jail, and moves back to elmville to (begrudgingly) reunite with adaine where they end up bonding over spell work and their shared trauma and become actual sisters instead of rivals who have the same parents (and maybe elianwyn joins them after she leaves her bastard husband)

FINALLY someone who GETS IT

anon i’m so sorry about how long this took me to answer but i just have a lot of feelings about her and am bad at expressing them consisely! anyways im now using this ask to rant about aelwyn and give my Thoughts on her so…. thats under the cut

so first of all. she’s seventeen (at most!!!) which is crazy to me bc like. i’m seventeen so i feel very qualified to say that seventeen-year-olds are just tiny balls of stress who have no clue what they’re doing. even tho her crazy shenanigans are fun for like, entertainment purposes on the show they’re actually extremely worrying if you take them seriously (which i, being an overthinker, of course, do). like, she shouldn’t be secretly partying and trying to get as messed up as possible and joining up with an evil dragon, she should just be. enjoying her life and hanging out with friends and maybe worrying about fantasy college. but she doesn’t get to do any of that!

it seems to me that most of what aelwyn is trying to get throughout the season is some kind of attention and validation. her parents like her more than adaine, sure, but they still treat her more like a trophy to show off than a real person. she doesn’t have any friends at school. so instead she goes to parties hosted by people she doesn’t even like and summons them elementals to hook up with just so she’ll keep getting invited back.

i think what is most heartbreaking to me is how isolated she is–her parents have raised her to believe that to have any value at all she needs to constantly be proving herself to superior to others which. needless to say is an absolutely terrible midset. personally i believe that her lack of empathy towards others is a pretty direct result of this, because the only way to really keep this up long term is to earnestly believe that others are lesser to you. like, spend enough time with parents (and likely other adult figures that she gets praise from) telling you you are exceptional, and you’ll start to believe it.

but as a result of all of this, there is legitimately no one in her life who is soft and gentle and caring towards her. i doubt anyone’s ever told her that she matters to them. vulnerability, tenderness, simply isn’t a thing in her life. and that can fuck up a young person so much.

that being said, i’d bet she also deals with something a lot of kids who were designated as “the smart one” when they were young deal with: never learning how to cope with any type of failure or struggle. messing up? it’s just not an option for her. both because she never learned how to do that without hating herself, and because even if she did, her parent’s affection is so blatantly conditional that she’s probably terrified of losing it in an instant. ultimately, it seems most of who she is in her life has been built specifically to please them, so i’m sure that would seriously hurt her.

so i wonder if maybe, when kalvaxis asked her for help, she agreed because to her it felt like finally, someone truly appreciated her powers. someone admired what she could do, and in a weird, twisted way, it made her feel wanted. even if just as a part of a team, even if just as a minion. it’s something.

anyways to conclude i just. i have a lot of feelings about this girl and what she’s been through and what she’s become. to be willing to become a part of a plot to basically destroy the world as you know it, you can’t think that world has much to offer you.

i really hope that someday she’s able to get away from her shitty parents and realize how toxic of an influence they’ve been on her, and how unhealthy all her behavior was. she can apologize to adaine and together they can finally develop a healthy relationship and just. have fun. be sisters. and aelwyn can become an adventurer or maybe take up some form of art or maybe just be a counselor a la jawbone but. most of all she can be happy

sorry if this is incomprehensible i just have a lot of feelings and have given up on making some version of this post that makes any real sense and isn’t just me crying

#fantasy high #aelwyn abernant #dimension 20 #aelwen abernant

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viclents · 4 years

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me : comes up w a witty intro tagline

u : is intrigued

u : wants to plot w me and my ~ 𝖟 ó 𝖓 ~

me : 😏😏😏

* chicago’s very own ( zion kang ) has been spotted on madison avenue driving a ( triumph bonneville t120 motorcycle ) , welcome ! your resemblance to ( charles melton ) is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your ( twenty-fifth ) birthday bash . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re ( tempestuous ) , but being ( formidable ) might help you . i think being a ( leo ) explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be ( the insomniac’s giveaway of dark bags beneath tired eyes , violently bared teeth to keep the world at a distance , all black everything . ) ( i grew up a victim and eventual perpetrator of gang violence and it was only through my sobriety and a plea arrangement that i’m staying out of prison . ) & ( cismale + he / him ) + ( toby , 18+ , she / they , pst )

* 𝖇𝖆𝖈𝖐𝖌𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉

001 : this is zion ! his mom had him at an undetermined young age and his dad was some good for nothing gang banger so he was already not dealt the best of cards :/

002 : his maternal grandparents took him in to give him some shot at having a normal life ! his grandpa was ex military and his grandma was a religious fanatic so this was maybe the opposite of what he would have ended up w , is it possible to have TOO structured of an upbringing ?

003 : his mom would stop by to see him every few months , bringing little treats and murmuring questions like ‘ where does grandma keep the jewlery , z ? ’ in her sickly sweet voice

004 : zion , young and starved for the affection his grandparents witheld from him , was v easily manipulated by his mom :/ poor bby

005 : he ended up having a LOT of behavioral issues w his childhood being kinda shitty n acted out a lot in school ! it got to a point where the school psychiatrist was like dear god lemme look @ this kid fr and diagnosed zion w bipolar disorder and oppositional defiance disorder aka he was NOT fond of bein told what to do !

006 : he was p much NOT abt to graduate high school after getting involved in a bunch of bad shit , drugs , alcohol , vandalizing shit , fights , gang activity , the whole nine yards when his grandpa passes away of a heart attack v suddenly . his gma , heartbroken and hurt , snaps at zion and tells him its bc of all the shit he put their family thru and that hits z , hard

007 : he finds rap music as his comfort , since his gma all but ignores him in the house now , and starts turning to art and music as his new outlet for his energy . finally APPAEARS to get his shit together when he joins a group and shoots to stardom w his rap group ( vc BROCKHAMPTON )

008 : his music gets him out of the slums and barely through graduation but he’s still got a lot of pent up anger and hostility ! moves out of his grandparents house but gets sucked into some gang nonsense from his past and nearly ends up in prison if it werent for a plea deal and a V discreet lawyer that kept his business out of the tabloids !

009 : he wants to keep it that way so he doesn’t risk his past comin back to bite him in the ass now that he’s in a decent place in his life , living w money finally and being in control of what he wants and how he wants it !

010 : now is rlly famous from his rapping ( i’m debating between a matt champion or a joba vc so cast ur votes to help a girl out pls 😤 ) and also has dabbled successfully in music production , which is his main focus at the moment !

* 𝖆𝖇𝖔𝖚𝖙

001 : personality wise , y’all know how this eboy movement is kinda taking over ?

002 : imagine an e-boy that ur actually AFRAID of n that’s zion !

003 : FORREAL THO the mans is like 6’1 of pure untamed aggression , he has absolutely 0 filter and will not hesitate to make an enemy of someone just bc they looked at him wrong . he’s naturally hostile and has a resting bitch face but that’s just to warn u of the broody angry boy that the face belongs to !

004 : he gives ZERO shits abt how he’s perceived bc he knows he’s talented and has worked for the fame he has and cherishes now . he doesn’t take critiques well n has a naturally aggressive / sarcastic disposition that makes him , quite frankly , an asshole !

005 : unpredictable temper , seriously effin volatile n ready to SWING when needed , honestly probably only has a circle of like 2 ppl bc most ppl don’t tolerate his broody aggressive antics long enough to get to his slightly softer side

006 : if u can brave the aggression and the temper , u see a deeply creative and considerate individual who would give the clothes off his back for the ppl he cares abt . nobody would believe he has something even RESEMBLING a soft side bc he’s so gd ANGRY most of the time but any of his exes or best friends can attest to the big bad wolf having a gentle caring side !

007 : he’s intense n deeply passionate and as long as u stay in ur lane he’ll stay in his , he’s p professional and has a v composed aesthetic bc he’s v particular about himself n his #Brand

00? : quick hc’s : he’s left handed , if he wasnt a musician he’d be a tattoo artist , u will NEVER catch him wearing any shade of not-black in his official public appearances , has a lowkey stupid sense of humor despite being so gd SERIOUS all the time , n he’s living straight edge besides the constant cigarettes he’s puffin on even tho he still raps abt drugs n shit !

#⎝ * 𝖗𝖊𝖌𝖆𝖗𝖉𝖎𝖓𝖌 ; OOC THOUGHTS .#wealthyhq:intro #this is finally up omg im sorry #like and i'll come to u for plotting !!!

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solemncadaver · 5 years

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Friendsim Trolls According to my Girlfriend who hasn’t played Friendsim

Ardata (Cobalt): w... who took bites out of her horns? Can and will kill you in your sleep. Plotting evil plans 23/7 (the 24th hour is for drinking coffee with LOTS of milk and sugar)

Diemen (Rust): Always eating food (why is that hot dog bun GREEN-), will never call you by your name, only nicknames like bro, dude, man etc, probably owns a skateboard but can't drive it

Cirava (Gold): Oo funky! Has a horrible backstory and doesn't talk about it EVER, is chill all the time, likes 70s-80s fashion and actually wears it with style! Is as extra as the fact they've got 4 horns

Amisia (Indigo): definitely an artist! The "weird kid", has not slept in 5 days because she just HAD to finish that one painting, cuts her own hair with scissors not meant for cutting hair yet it looks amazingly good! Probably either super pure and nice or will kill you if you breathe in her direction

Bronya (Jade): The cool big sister, helps you do your makeup and dye your hair, if you hurt one of her friends those boots will land in your face, probably has a tumblr with aesthetic images

Skylla (Bronze): Yeehaw howdy pardner! Isn't only from a ranch, she OWNS one! Can and will punch you for no reason, makes you do her chores if you wanna stay at her place, has never seen a hairbrush in her life

Tagora (Teal): Tries his best to be edgy and frightening, sometimes almost fails at that, could be in one of those "barber: say no more fam" memes, thinks he's an evil overlord but is actually just a delinquent, probably doesn't get a redemption arc and only like 2 people are mad about that

Vikare (Bronze): Wants to be a pilot/is a pilot but DON'T TRUST THEM WITH AN AIRPLANE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, pretends wearing that pilot hat is a fashion choice when in reality they can't take it off again with those horns, nobody has ever seen them sleep and people are concerned

Polypa (Olive): The most feral being (or she fell down the stairs and is mad about it), problems balancing with only one eye able to see, could claw out your heart and not bat an eye, the hole in her horn is from when someone tried to take her out, nobody has ever seen that person afterwards

Zebruh (Indigo): Looks like an ASSHOLE. What are his horns doing they're not pointed that's not how horns should work, very smug! Has a shitty job and is pretentious about it to people w/o a job, looks like the cryptic bartender in a stereotypical drama thriller that the detective has to interview to know who killed the rich guy's wife

Elwurd (Cobalt): Look at those extra af horns! Def owns a motorcycle, flirty but has never received actual affection, has a mental breakdown every 2 days but pretends EVERYTHING'S FINE, makes 5 puns a minute

Folykl & Kuprum (Gold): What a goal: Carry your bud around in your giant ass backpack! I......don't know who is who tbh but! They both have cool spider looking horns! The best evidence for 'opposites attract', the only friends they have are each other, secretly planning to overthrow the government

Remele (Cobalt): The x on her left eye symbolizes that she has found her next victim. It's you. Run. Could probably use her horn as a climbing hook, v passive aggressive, makes her own clothes, works out a lot and is stronger than she looks

Konyyl (Olive): My fight, flight or flirt instincts have been activated. Could snap you in half by looking at you yet can be super soft if she wants to (you gotta be REAL close to her though), likes matcha ice cream and yells at it when it melts, is NOT tidy

Chixie (Bronze): Shy babey. Will probably be interrupted 3 times when trying to speak because she's just so quiet, has been left on her own and now has no idea how to survive yet is too shy to ask for the way. Someone come help her please.

Tyzias (Teal): Bored college student. Will NOT help you in an emergency so don't even ask. Secretly likes cryptids, is Done (tm), nobody has ever seen her outside of campus, roasts people in the most monotone voice ever

Chahut (Purple): F-... fear ':)? Eh, that's probably just paint! Right? Right???... Is probably being forced to do horrible things, can't remember their childhood, looks scary but only unintentionally, I'd still smooch tbh

Azdaja (Gold): Reminds me of that ching prince from FMA:B tbh, has a weird aesthetic going on, has the upper hand everywhere without trying, probably has 3 fake names, is always cool but can slip up and make goofy remarks

Zebede (Gold): Smol round boi! Probably played soccer in 5th grade, now makes v interesting and functional machines from Lego, probably owned a pet hamster at some point, has no sense of danger

Tegiri (Teal): Is that a KATANA-.... Still not out of his weeb phase, is VERY devoted to his aesthetic, talks either in one word sentences or dramatic quotes from a show nobody has seen, shop owner who sells you weapons

Mallek (Cobalt): Oh look it your hubby! He looks like a trickster tbh yet all the fanart looks sweet and pure!? (Also how do you pierce horns-) how many piercings has he though? Is there fanart- 👀... anyways he kinda looks like the popular kid and the emo kid combined, but like in a good way!?! Probably has a secret key for the whole town that he shouldn't have, can store everything in that hoodie pocket (it's like Hermione's bag :3!)

Lynera (Jade): Looks like the weird art/music teacher, v nice though! Has a lot of weird hobbies that her friends politely decline to join, likes to bake for everyone, likes children or absolutely loathes them

Galekh (Indigo): Is this Roman from Sanders Sides? Jdhdkd he looks like the strict angry teacher, will absolutely refuse giving help and does not allow any flaws (both in you and in himself) can spot someone doing illegal things from a mile away, is not afraid to call people out

Tirona (Teal): Look at that spider hair! Looks good 👉👉, is probs v shy and awkward but tries to talk to everyone anyways, has some exotic pets that she doesn't tell anyone about bc someone once said it's weird, just wants to be accepted, clumsy af

Boldir (Olive): Hiding ..... something ...., private but not stealthy investigator, is distracted way too easily, is the detective I mentioned back at Zebruh's, v loyal, will absolutely get you arrested if you're *in the way*

Stelsa (Teal): Looks like a cool but bitchy mom, probably gets a manicure every week, she looks just like my mom which is scary wth, will not hesitate to roast Karen at the school bake sale, those lemon bars are horrible KAREN, why didn't you let your third husband help K A R E N

Karako (Purple): What- ?

I-.... I'm confused! But okay!

Never makes sense, nobody has ever seen them eat or sleep, appears in your room at 2 am when you have sleep paralysis

Marsti (Rust): Probably is like the classic mechanic, can weld 👌👏👉👉👍, is done with everyone's bullshit but will still try to help (occasionally), drinks too many energy drinks and not enough water, everyone asks her for favors and she is having none of it

Charun (Olive): Peaceful gardener, don't stand in their sun and they won't bother whatever you do, just wants a little farm house near a small town with his pet cat, don't walk on their vegetables or they'll chase you with a rake

Wanshi (Jade): Just a nice person. A total sweetheart. Just wants to have fun, very optimistic, the most functional person you'll ever meet, drinks a lot of green tea and hot chocolate

Fozzer (Rust): Nice person but not very bright, doesn't know how electronics work, has a flip phone from like 2006 and that's enough for him, has a lot of houseplants but can't really keep them alive

Marvus (Purple): 👀👀👀 You know how I think about him (😭🍀😏😎🍀💖🌾❤ 11/10 best ti🅱🅱y window would allow him to stab me)

Daraya (Jade): Smol but will fight you. Is super done and will not help you, but also won't stop you. Probably has 2-4 knifes somewhere on her body at all time.

Nihkee (Indigo): Looks like a pirate captain + professional wrestler in one, like! Probably drinks their coffee black just so people respect them more, will show off every trophy they have (a lot) if someone decides to listen to them

Lanque (Jade): 👀👀👀👍 the most dramatic and salty being alive, v stylish, takes 2 hours a day just to get ready, probably has 16 meetings a day, could work as a model, will cut anyone and everyone that says he should change something about him

Soleil (Purple): Ah yes, the obligatory twins. Probably cursed by a spiteful witch at birth, have never been seen seperate, occasionally like to scare people by pretending to be the twins from shining

I’m crying

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wolgrahas · 5 years

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yooo ⚡

ok guys... mmMmMmmMmm i think i'm back? (even if this site sucks more than ever) if you don't remember me; i'm rami, if you don't remember my name i'm the bitch who is a slut for morrigan, solas and illidan, at least that's what i'm most famous for sbvGHHAFAHSH so... i'm gonna tell u what have happened to me for all this time i haven't been here (if u care ofc):

- i started drawing again ✌ (after years of drawing oNCE every six or four months lol)

- i found a high school for adults which have the last two years specialized in arts (which is pretty cool), tho i'm planning going the next year 👌

- i think i'm bisexual (well i've always thought that but when i created this blog i had a sexuality crisis that made me think that i was straight, i cannot promise that it won't happen again tho)

- hOLY SHIT DRAGON AGE FOOOOUR BITCHESSSSS 💗💞😰

- i found out that i have ADD bc my brain doesn't get enough oxygen bc i breath with my mouth and as i told you some time ago; i have a crooked nose so i didn't have any choice lol. so if i'm tHIS SMART with this shitty amount of oxygen... m8 i'm surely i'm fUCKING GIFTED agafshagAGSGHS (it's a joke, but the part of "my brain doesn't get enough oxygen" is tru tho lol)

- i'm taking new medication and i'm completely a nEW PERSON: i talk a LOT more (like... i'm pRETTY extrovert when i'm with my family 💞), i make lots of jokes, i'm overally happier. and i've been looking at myself lately and... i finally see that i'm not tHAT ugly?? even i got new stretch marks on my hips, ass and breasts and i just think they're pretty cute??? it's like...i'm finally ME. (also, but not less importantly, i was always bitter that i didn't indentify with gemini [my actual sign] and i always identified as a taurus, but now i'm more gemini than ever [so pls run the fuck away when u see me agaghssjdg]).

- i got a new haircut and dyed my hair red ✌💕 (the color is almost gone tho 😞)❗❗ face reveal❗❗

- and i've been thinking A LOT about my past, and i've never told you this before but... i was sexually abused when i was child (tho i have mild amnesia), i haven't talked about this with my psychologist yet, but i vaguely gave hints, like: i told her that i cannot have physical contact with men. and thinking about this, my trauma explains a lot of things (my fear for men, my repulse when men touch me [or anyone touches me], my phobia for sex and my sex-repulsion attitude, my sexual drawings when i was a lil child, and worst of all: my hatred towards my own mother and my bad mental stabilty through all my life, also i had awful nightmares when i was a lil kid [but they didn't have anything in common with my abuse, they were just about monsters who wanted to kill me or that i couldn't find my mother no matter how many times i asked people and i was in the middle of a big city, alone (those are the ones i remember), it felt weird that all kids were having happy dreams and i was the only one who always had to suffer when going to sleep :/, but i got used it, even now i still have nightmares]), i have mild amnesia about it, but i can for sure tell you that something happened that (awful) day. and.. i don't want to tell my family, bc it will make them suffer. besides i think i have a part of my mind that constantly tells me that i made everything up and that i am just an attention whore?? one of the things that made me think that i'm making everything up was when i was in the php center and i told this to the therapists, and they didn't give a shit lmao, even the other patients told me if i was confused or if it was from a movie which affected me (the answer is: no, i remember perfectly how i felt just before and after the abuse, i don't remember what happened IN the abuse but something happened [also i don't want to give descriptions bc it will probably affect people who follow me]), the therapists never asked me about it again so... lol. but idk, i just fear that when i have my ""first time"" the memories will come up and... the trauma will be completely open?? bc this happened to a lot of people when they had sex for the first time and they didn't even remember much about their abuse before??? idk guys, i'm just... confused...

yes i took these photos in my bathroom lmao

(abuse tw)

sorry for the drama :,( but i needed to get it out of my chest, being open on tumblr is ten times easier for me bc... idk guys, i think you won't judge me; you are like a big family of strangers who will believe me and give me your (kind) opinions and even help me by talking about your experiences... so.. i missed u guys sm 💗💞😘😭🌟💕💙

#rami.txt #i've been opening the tumblr app lately and i was like: 'i hate this site but i also forgot how much i still love it'#so... here i am :)

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plotbunnie · 6 years

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Mm so there’s a lot of stuff under the cut I just feel like I can’t express directly? Please don’t feel obligated to read the mess going on in my head, I just need to put it somewhere.

So this is just a big,,, massive dump of things I sometimes wish I could tell people but either it is socially unacceptable to discuss or I simply feel too guilty to do so, or feel as if I will not be understood. It’s really a big mess, so this is kind of a second ‘hey, turn back now!’ warning if that’s the sort of thing you’re not about. This is a queued post, also, because it makes me feel a little less like I’m begging for attention that way, and knowing that will probably reduce the appearance of urgency it gives by being all big and emotional.

I’ve noticed lately that I’ve been venting, more. Which is natural, I’m in school, I’m stressed, yadda yadda. But like- the things I vent about are never what really upsets me? they’re usually related but not- the thing and I’ve been examining myself to try and figure out why, and it boils down to the fact that what I end up venting about is genuinely insignificant, or at least mostly so, especially compared to whatever’s actually bothering me.

I’m also always trying to- dismiss and explain away everything that upsets me. “Oh, it’s just hormones”, “Oh, it’s just school stress making me crazy, you know”, “I’m just being oversensitive rn, it’ll pass”.

But like whoops, no, it’s not passing cause the actual root issues are a lot deeper than “I feel bad bc my teacher laughed in my face when I asked a question he didn’t like”.

And here’s the thing- I can tell myself how irrational the feelings I keep getting are all I want and it will not make them go away? In fact it’s just been forcing me to internalize them and feel shitty for feeling them at all.

So I guess here’s the part where I actually say what I’ve really been feeling, so I can look at it, and stare at it, and figure out what the hell I can actually do about it. Cause in some cases the solution seems so easy- and then it’s fucking not, and I just feel worse for failing at it.

I feel insignificant, invisible, probably some other word that starts with an ‘in’. Like I no longer exist the moment I’m outside of someone’s immediate vicinity, and only re-enter their memory bank once I’m in front of them or on their screen again. Like my whole existence is just floating in the void and sometimes a comet passes by or whatever and acknowledges me, and I’m just screaming for that acknowledgement and have no way of making it permanent. A lot of this is probably because of the fact that, thanks to my roommates & their situation, all but maybe four or five of the 20 people I met and started interacting with semi-regularly last semester no longer even acknowledge I exist- literally their expressions glaze over and they move past me, even when I’ve directly addressed them ( though I stopped doing that right quick, of course ). I’ve never, in my whole life of being picked on and pushed away from people, felt so small or alone as I do now. And I don’t know how to change that. I keep telling myself there is a way to change that, and I will find it, and all sorts of other shit a therapist would probably say, but ultimately, even if I am not this invisible being, I don’t know how to make myself stop feeling like one. I mean it’d be nice if I could ask people to remind me of that, but wow I guess that leads to the second problem?

I hate asking for things. heck, I hate receiving things without asking for them. A friend told me they were giving me something they’d gotten with digital currency they’ve amassed to a point it is no object and I still almost had a panic attack and immediately had to work out how I could even the score and pay them back. This friend reasoned that they were paying me back, but on a numbers level their gift still sort of dwarfed what I did? And so it still incited genuine fear until I could find a way to repay it back. And it’s not that I don’t want to be given things? Because then if the exchange of things ( be they compliments, edits, art scribbles, inconsequential digital currency gifts, anything because yeah, literally all of those result in the same anxiety- though some I’m better at combating the resulting anxiety than others ), then I start getting that unfortunate human response that makes me sad because I’m not getting things, when it is a commonly accepted concept that when you like someone you give them stuff ( again, not necessarily monetary or physical- applying to compliments and emotional support and all that junk as well ), and to NOT receive those things at all just feeds back into my first problem?? And it’s this awful vicious cycle. And worse than being given things out of the blue ( because the resulting warm fuzzies do generally balance out the panic and make it well worth it ) is asking for something- whether it is something I want, something I need- even suggesting something totally inconsequential that can be given to me to help someone else combat their anxiety over being given something. But kind of especially asking for things I need? Asking for help, asking for emotional support, asking for an ear to speak to- it’s why I’m typing up this long-ass post I all but begged people NOT to read despite kind of?? really wanting someone to understand what I am experiencing ( because is it real if people don’t acknowledge it or know about it or understand it? ), rather than just- talking to someone. I don’t want to burden anyone with my neediness? I don’t feel I have the right, I don’t feel that I’m a Level 7 Friend who can request emotional support, and I feel like I leveled wrong on my lower levels so I can literally never reach Level 7. Nevermind that people just plain don’t want to hear about this sort of thing because it makes people uncomfortable and that is a fact not many people are willing to acknowledge? Like in my experience ( and I am CERTAIN this is not always true, but for me it has been, or feels like it has been ) no matter how close with someone you are, chances are they don’t want to hear about your deep shit. No matter how much they say ‘never feel bad for asking for help or wanting to talk’ they are also probably internally praying you ask someone else. And that is fine? Like they gotta do they own thing and I will never begrudge them that ever ever ever because Wow Dude I Get It Big Time, but it really is a struggle when there is no one who IS willing to listen?

And sure, I could see a therapist, I did for a bit last semester and I keep telling myself to find a new one this semester since the previous one left, but honestly that one just allowed me to feel like I was trying because that’s what you do when you’ve got emotional turbulence, you see a therapist- and that’s... literally the only benefit seeing one brought me. Because they seem to be more focused on “well here is a list of ways you have already tried to potentially combat this small par of your problems without actually addressing the source”, along with “do you REALLY have this thing you were told you have because you don’t have any of these stereotypical and often inaccurate symptoms listed in this short passage of a book that is my only frame of reference for it”. ( yeah, that last one is really specific but like- I was trying to talk??? about how betrayed I felt that my freaking mother was told by professionals I’m autistic NOT ONLY when I was a child, but again when I was a teenager seeing a therapist, and then told my EX BOYFRIEND before she finally told me- casually and in passing. And instead of focusing on the emotional issue I wanted to address, she focused on whether or not it was an ‘accurate diagnosis’ ).

Like I have all these problems and they affect me and how I function, but I didn’t learn what they were or how to address them or in some cases even that I had them until very recently, and I just want to acknowledge them, but if I try I’m just asking for attention or making excuses and I just don’t know what I can do about that but man that is almost a footnote in all this ugh.

And I’m sure this factors in somewhere but heck if I know where but like touch is something humans tend to need and wow I’m very touch-starved to the point I am now touch-repulsed and while the part of me that needs support is downright begging for someone to fucking hug me for like 3 hours is constantly battling the instinct to never let anyone near me ever because what if I’m too clinging what if it hurts what if it turns out it doesn’t help shit what if they take advantage of me what if they get weirded out what if what if what if

And then the final thing- and god I know this is choppy by now and I’m honestly scared of anyone who bothered to read this far cause heck, guess you know how to destroy me now, and also why- is that I am starting to wonder if there is a point to anything I do? Like obviously there is but-- I am a creature that thrives on acknowledgement more than most it feels like and I think that I am suffering a lack of just that has been made a little clear by now so I’m at that point where like- I just want someone to look at my work, really look at it and examine it and explore it and give me deep feedback and talk with me about it but nobody wants to fucking do that, as exemplified in almost all the above points and like if it’s not worth looking at in depth is it really worth looking at, at all?

Am I really worth looking at, at all?

#ooc #sky speaks #vent #negative #negative tw #depression tw #invasive thoughts tw #?#not actually sure that one belongs there but I think some of these classify as invasive thoughts #like i'm fine I'm not going to harm myself we good there I'm just- a lil lost and this is me tryna find a fucking map

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whatismeta-blog · 5 years

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To the Anon, who Asked the Asks

1) what was your first delusion

Honestly, I think I might still be working through it. But like it might not be, so like...

Welcome welocome, the answers get better I swear

2) have you ever had your choice taken away by the psychiatric system

: Not really, I never really spent to much time in any systems due to paranoia of the system, probably because of the stigma around it and pop culture fueling a strong sense of danger in it, and just my lack of any real wealth in my past and present

3) how do you cope with your hallucinations

: Painfully ignoring them in almost everyway I can, which, has often lead to me ignoring something happening around me, or directed at me cause I thought It wasn't real. Other than that I find physical grounding, and specifically martial arts helps make my overall disorder more positive in tone

4) are you professionally diagnosed with a psychotic disorder

: I was professionally diagnosed back when's was about 14 or 15, after a few sessions the doctor said I probably had schizophrenia and prescribed me some anti psychotics

5) how often do you shower

: About once (1) or twice (2) a week honestly, I need to take more. But I've been getting better

6) to what extent are you "out" as psychotic

: I'm about half way, most of my old friends and family have no knowledge, but my current living people all know, my boyfriend knows, and a couple people the I've had some long nights with know, and my entire blog

7) have you ever had a funny or cute hallucination

8) how old were you when you were first diagnosed (or figured it out yourself)

:when my sister went to North star when I was in like 3rd grade, and my mum tried to explain it to me why my sister was inpatient, I specifically remember that imentioned i thought something might be wrong with me too, but since I was outwardly disruptive, just "quiet" my mum found no need

9) how old were you when you first started having symptoms

So issues with Speech is a commonly overlooked symptom of schizophrenia, as a in my case I feel more cognitive issue, and I think that my early childhood and that I had a speech therapist cause of my young selective autism, and just inability to speak right might've been my first symptoms

10) do you reclaim any words associated with your disorder

: I honestly don't really think I do, I want to though -> Paranoid, I use a lot though, caus like Fuck am.I paranoid, and psychotic, but I use that more clinically,

11) do you feel emotions intensely or hardly at all

: Harldy at all, I just, I may only be 22, but I'm just really tired and old, but if an emotion can start shining through strongly it kind of starts to engulf me, especially at night

12) do you have a hard time making yourself understood

: so much, it's lessened some over the years, but so many times after trying to get words out, (I tend to speak fast and with a sometimes interesting vocabulary) and I'm just still really bad at using English to express specifically emptions, which only makes me feel worse cause wow have I fucked things up trying to say something and someoneisunderstanding me

13) which symptoms of your disorder impair you the most

: negative symptoms, that cause me to just be very distant as a person mentally and presently, and I think overall paranoia, or even sometimes like, meta-paranoid <-

14) do you usually have some insight when you're actively psychotic

:When I'm hallucinating, I'd say I generally do, but when I am delusional, I usually don't, but I kinda always think that there is a chance I'm being psychotic so I try and stay on my toes. If ya know what's mean

15) is there a situation you can laugh at which was a scary time

16) do you think your psychosis is related to trauma

: it possibly could be, but I don't believe that if I didn't have trauma that I wouldn't still be psychotic

17) do you have any co-morbid disorders

:probably, I try not to worry to much about what's all wrong. I just try and make it all work together

18) what is you're exact diagnosis if you have one

Do to the people who diagnosed me as schizophrenic loosing their thing. Due to.insurance purposes, I have no diagnosis on file. Last time I went in a couple years back to a new doctor they said I should get evaluated, but like, I could barely afford what I had already been there for

19) when did you start think you might be psychotic

Before I can remember

20) is there a history of psychosis in your family

:I've don't know to much of my family or their histories, but my mum is paranoid and has anxiety. And my older sister is autism spectrum, and so mental health is in the family

21) do you have inappropriate emotions or reactions

Less inappropriate as in lewd, but more of, absent, or like, when I first was told someone close to me (human) died, I didn't ever cry once for them, I don't think I have to this day, not to say I wouldn't cry for everybody close to me, but like yeah, and like when answering personal questions I think I react a lot more deflectively. Or like, hell, my partner told me they loved me for the first time, and though I honestly wanted to say it back, I just didn't, I honestly don't remember what I said. And Tbh still kinda feel shitty about that interaction..

22)do you relate to any characters bc they might have a psychotic disorder

Fucking,

River tam from firefly, (like yeah, she has like actual powers and shit, but Damn, it kinda affects her similarly)

23) do you have a song you listen to when.you need to calm down

Lullaby for a stormy night, ever-changing by rise against

24) do you have a song you relate to psychosis

:first one I could think of is "World in a bottle" by Anavae

25) what traits do you want to see in a canonically psychotic character

Negative symptoms, dissociation, And a few happy Fucking stories for us please

26) do you have a recurring delusion or hallucination

:oh boy do I, I'm honestly still coming to terms with a long time life held delusion, and that's a fun thing to do without therapy let me tell you, here do come Nov. 17

27) would you get rid of your psychotic disorder if you.could)

: if, it could be a little more manageable that would be nice, but, honestly, not being psychotic ever again.. now that sounds kinda scary too

28) do you take anti-psychotic, why?

:no prescription grade, but I do my best to self medicate, if you can, don't follow my example

29) how is your memory

:well I've been going back and forth writing the numbers and questions now, and I read the ask, switched form my photos to the tumble app, and then forgot, so. Bonus fact, this is the first ask i answered in this line

30) what how through your head when you hear "cute but psycho"

Honestly I see hear the Word psycho and almost every time I get upset, but like unless they're psychotic, and okay with you referring to them as such. It just makes me upset

31) do you experience time distortion

According to general laws of physics time dilates, so yeah I do what of it?

Serious answer though, yeah,

Like say my first 4 month into being in my current city, I had a mental fall back, and went back home for a 2 maybe three months,

That first fronts in this city, was actually 4 days, and part of my waking routine is checking the date and time to make sure that I am in the know on what year and day it's supposed to be

#anon #ask

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moldypieceoflasagna · 6 years

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36 questions that nobody asked me

(except @lollipoppedchainsaw )

(the 36 questions that lead to love or whatever) https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

I hate going out to dinner so much i probably wouldnt be able to enjoy it properly

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

It would be interesting to see what it’s like for a short period of time, but i’d never be able to keep it up; i’d probably have an identity crisis

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

yes i have to mentally prepare myself 100% of the time

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

hanging out with the people i love is enough to keep me happy for a good while tbh. sitting around doing nothing literally nothing with them is endlessly entertaining to me even though sometimes i might make that hard to believe

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

i sing to myself a lot, not so much to others- although i AM a slut for karaoke

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

body because i feel thats probably what old people complain about most. plus like,, 90 years of life knowledge? sounds great to me

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

probably an accident that’s almost statistically impossible

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

single rn (ladies) but i usually try to find friends with similar music tastes because scream-singing in the car is the most fun one can have

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

im most grateful for my dogs and for my friends! i love them and it means the world to me to have people that i can call family. also i would die without my dog juno, she is my rock (and my therapist)

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Not rly how i was raised, but i wish i had a closer relationship with my older siblings. Three of them had moved out before i was rly old enough to not be an asshole child, so most of them still see me as an asshole child and they never take me seriously. im glad i have an alright relationship with them, but that’s kinda all it is and i know i could do better

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

Lived in Texas my whole life yeehaw. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters; 2 of them dont like me, and my relationship with the other 2 is,, certainly not bad. Had a lot of physical and mental illness in the past, but 20gayteen is definitely my year, yeet

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

either speaking a different language or playing the piano. im very jealous of good piano players, and at some point i need to be able to speak a more useful language than french because so far in texas it’s proved absolutely useless (other than talking to my mom but that doesnt count)

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

I’d wanna know wtf im supposed to do with my life because sweaty i still have no idea. passion? dont know her please introduce me

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

i wanna go skydiving bitch, no one wants to go with me! pussies!!! the lot of you

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

that one time i did an entire semester’s worth of work in the last three days of the school year

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

being able to put up with my huge fucking mouth. also honesty is super important, even if it’ll make me feel shitty

17. What is your most treasured memory?

when i went camping with a bunch of friends and they were bitter i got to be in the middle of the tent because they were all cold. either that or the time i was getting really bad sleep paralysis and @lonelywaterfall & @skity stayed over so my paranoia didnt render me completely useless,,, also the paramore concert lol ive never been more vulnerable in my life.

18. What is your most terrible memory?

coming out to my mom haha

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

i’d go on a trip around the world to explore/to see a few people, and i’d put extra effort into my gender expression

20. What does friendship mean to you?

comfortable silence is my kink. also emotional vulnerability and SAD BOY HOURS we cant forget those

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

I’m such a slut for physical affection yall have no idea please hug me as much as possible and play with my hair or my hands

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

i guess ill do the same with previous partners so.. i think being funny is probably the #1 thing i appreciate in someone. when you make me laugh so hard i cry, just know that’s like. peak. also stubbornness is strangely attractive to me, plus like,,, uh having an unexpected soft side? an appreciation of art is super important, too. also SPOON VERSATILITY.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

it was probably happier than a lot of people’s but there wasnt much to it. plus being the youngest in my ENTIRE family really sucked during my childhood because everyone picked on me and i think that’s probably what started a lot of my issues lol

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

better than it could be, but definitely not what i want it to be. we both love each other and i admire her work ethic, but she gave me a lot of anxiety problems (both genetically and not) and she isnt the most understanding person. i have hope though, people change

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …

I’m hungry and sitting alone in front of my computer feeling like OVERSHARING ON THIS BEAUTIFUL THURSDAY MORNING, BOYS

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …

many, MANY animals and a lighthouse in the middle of nowhere

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

I’m REALLY insecure about my body xd

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

LOVE feeling safe.

29. Share an embarrassing moment in your life.

probably every time that i’ve ever worn a dress, because i really,, really dont like wearing dresses and that’s it

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

last cried by myself this morning and last cried in front of another person at my friend’s birthday party

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

no partner but if youre reading this im rly proud of ur attention span. gj buddy

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

i think most things can be joked about after a certain amount of time, but like,, it has to actually be funny and it has to come from someone i know isnt serious about it. if a joke is made just for the purpose of being offensive and edgy, it’s never funny no tea just truth.

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

i’d regret not spending enough time with people that i love, not traveling as much as i should have, and also i’d regret not formally coming out of the closet to my family (they probably already been done knew but like. yknow). i came out to myself & the people closest to me a LONG ass time ago, but i’ve kinda seen what it did to my immediate family so im not too excited to do that to my extended family. if i’m not too much of a pussy, ill probably do it in the summer when i see them next, bc ive been meaning to for a while.

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

is it bad of me to say my computer? i feel like everyone else has a much more meaningful answer lol. it would probably either be that or the papers i keep on my bulletin board, bc most of them hold a lot of sentimental value (also my prescriptions would be a pain to get copies of)

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

either of my parents because i dont want them dying before i reach the point where i can expect them to be happy for me when i marry a girl

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

personal problems? what’re those lmfao dont have any srry try me again later

i’m too much of a pussy to tag certain people so if you see this and I've had any sort of conversation with you, do it coward

(also @skity @drawinintherain )

#love exposing myself to people on the internet #hot

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eludum-a · 6 years

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(scheduled to post this around noon on thursday my time.)

as we head into this (american) thanksgiving, a lot of us are gonna be dealing with some Grade A Bullshit: retail work, bigoted relatives, etc. i wasn’t actually gonna do this originally, but then i realized what holiday was coming up right around the time of my blogiversary and i was like... welp. alright. guess we’re doing this then. things lined up too perfectly NOT to, and things can be kinda shitty for people around this time of year, so let’s put a little positivity back into the community! or something like that.

(yes i realize some of the people here are not american. no reason to deny my love tho.)

anyway, onto the callouts!

@ultimatetalentless have i talked about how much i love sin’s hinut lately? his and nanami’s friendship/rivalry (and his and chibot’s unresolved romantic tension) is so much fun to write and it’s so great having an Angst Partner to shoot terrible ideas at. on top of that i love talking to sin out of character and sharing some of the things we come across that remind each other of our muses.

@mideoku julie followed me and the following day, snakes started manifesting physically in my house. i get no peace from them. they follow me home every day and beat me down with a two by four while yelling down with cis. but if we’re being real here julie’s shitposting lights up my dashboard every day for better or worse and theyre actually a really cool person. we’ll fight in pokemon when u catch up to me binch

@steinways sarah’s one of my oldest mutuals from all the way back when she just had her mahiru and i?? love sarah?? she’s such a sweetheart and all of her characterizations are so absolutely stellar. 10/10 would sarah again and also she made my theme so. yknow. amazing all around

@ongakuvoices rio’s a special brilliant soul w so much love for their muses and it shows in everything they write... i adore both their ibuki and their nagisa to pieces!! i know theyre gonna go places in life and ill be over here cheering them on from the sidelines, probably holding up some signs with memes on them

@jrco-disd actually i hate seth. nevermind. i’m not doing this

@nullverum boss was like one of the first ndrv3 blogs i interacted with long before the game had its official english release. i remember i made a post a while before saying that i thought ouma/nami would be a strange but cute brotp and hell! i was absolutely right in every way. its even funnier upon finding out ou/ma kind of plays the na/nami role just as much as the ko/maeda role in actuality (he’s gotta do both since a CERTAIN SOMEONE gets fridged at the beginning), so they’re surprisingly good (bad, actually) for each other.

@ayatsurii sparkle’s peko is great ok? best sword girlfriend, would shower her in love and affection and cute things. nanami apparently has a thing for taller, stoic individuals with red eyes who could kick her ass one-handed. (don’t we all tho??) ahem. anyway. would recommend sparkle’s pekpek.

@kibouzuru i know we were mutuals for a while before i got involved with truth syndicate stuff? i feel silly not having interacted with u before because i rly should have. im really glad i got a chance to bc u and ur egg are cool (well, naegi’s a total dork) and now i can have nanami tease leggy and eggy about their relationship. she’s gotta get back at hinata for all those years of short jokes somehow, too bad naegi’s just collateral

@hikaup i remember i was on the lookout for pokemon blogs a while back and i stumbled across ur blog and was like... what the heck, this hikari seems way too cool... and wow!! i was totally right!! i love ur portrayal so much it’s such good shit and chiaki and hikari already have such a good dynamic. i hope chiaki gets to do Spooky Shit with hikari someday (and maybe even hold hands???? lets not get ahead of ourselves here) btw i get whiplash from how often u put out amazing themes

@kibcu

and yes, im gonna be at your basketball game tomorrow. stop telling me about it

@cantalazarus u know how i feel about u. ur smart and funny and talented and ur take on ur muses is So Good and

@malchancevilain watchy is another one of my oldest mutuals and its always great to see their togami on my dash! we’ve been in a few group verses together now and i love seeing how he handles different situations (always with a great degree of salt) and just hanging out ooc! also: greg grimaldis wherever you are you better believe im getting those fifteen dollars back *mic drop*

@seineijashu oh.

hey nerd. we havent rly spoken much in a while but im still out here 100% in ur corner and i love everything u do. i know i dont know like anything about Boruto’s Dad like i said (im more a hunter x hunter guy myself,,,) but even if roleplaying opportunities are scarce im still totally down to talk like any time. now if only our time zones would line up. ps theres a secret message hidden here did you see it

@hopefromtheordinary it’s so great to see you back in the dr rpc! i loved your komaeda and your kamukura way back when. i love the twin shenanigans you and sin get up to (serious or crack) and i really can’t wait to get more chibot/kamukura stuff going! im excited i hope ur excited too

@gamblingqueen ANOTHER person i’m so glad to see back over here!! u were one of the first people to rly plot with me to any extent ooc and i am very excited to get right back into it! chiaki and celes are such an odd pair, but it’s wonderful to see them interact after they’ve both been brought so low. im over here rubbing my hands together at the speed of light in anticipation

@mxssias if naegi tries to get nanami to watch sword art online with him one more time shes gonna kill him and hide the body in the reserve course grounds. ahem. anyway. alex you’re such a little shit but you’re funny and i love your egg boy even if he’s constantly getting himself into trouble and sacrificing himself like he doesnt have anything better to do. get that boy a better hobby? thanks

and sorry if i forgot anybody! doing these is kind of exhausting for me and i might have gotten a little lazy, but i tried to hit most of the people i’ve been in contact with ooc at least a bit (who have been active within the past week or so).

...

.........................

@jrco-disd ok fine fuck you. seth was one of the first people in the fandom to reach out to me and even if he’s often belligerent at me for no good reason (ok, fine, maybe i deserve it) i still really appreciate his friendship and am glad that we can exchange shitty sonic memes with each other. the day we get that sonic forces monster factory is the day we both can die happy, probably after strangling each other

#jnfbhjng i hate how in some of these i talk abt them like theyre not the ones reading this #and in others i address them directly #but im not rewriting this now!! take it or leave it!!#[welcome to my christian minecraft server // ooc]#follow forever

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vampirewalterskinner · 7 years

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Do you have any tips for writing fanfics? Or writing in general?

I have a few, and I’m flattered af that you would ask me!

1. Just write. Seriously. Just write whatever you want to. You don’t have to post it or fix grammatical errors or any of that, just write. I spent a good chunk of four years just writing on paper or on my phone and only shared the fics with my friends. That got me used to the flow of writing and what to expect when I write and loosens you up. (Plus, my writing from when I first started to now is SO much better, and I still have a long way to go, which is okay!!! I’m proud of my progress and you should be too!)

2. Don’t be afraid to share your work and have someone critique it for you. Honestly my writing would be SO much better if I let someone do that, but I’m super insecure so I don’t. I encourage you to at LEAST share some of your writing with a friend or two and ask them if they have questions about it. That’s an easy way for them to bring up problems in your work that need to be looked at without insulting you, and it makes you feel better to explain your work and understand how the reader interprets your fic. ALSO!!!! I find that I ADORE when people ask me questions about what I’m writing because then I know people are interested and invested in my story! So it’s really a win-win!

3. After writing a one-shot or a chapter, don’t look at it for a few days. Become unfamiliar with it, so when you go back to edit, you read it as a READER not a writer. Sometimes what you try to convey doesn’t exactly come out on paper, and you don’t even notice it until later when you read it yourself. This is also the time I use to edit spelling mistakes and the like.

4. Embrace shitty fanfiction. The amount of fiction I have written is astounding (literally 200 unfinished fics on my flashdrive) and I can tell you only like five of those are even worth reading. Guess what? That’s still okay!!! Every time you write you improve! All of those crappy fanfics brought me to the point I’m at now! It’s really exactly like an artist drawing every day every year and gradually improving. Writing is an art form, after all.

5. Read!!! Read novels and comics and manga and and fanfiction written by thousands of authors from all different periods. Through this you’ll see different writing styles and themes and amazing characters and their unique personalities. One of my favorites to read is Water For Elephants. An amazingly descriptive novel that I aspire to obtain in my own writing.

6. Along with reading, analyze the crap outta whatever you read and even watch on tv! If you’re good at analyzing you’ll be good at writing. Note little things characters do. Watch how they speak to one another. For instance: Shawn Spencer from Psych. Shawn is a character notorious for being over the top and ridiculous and childish. Why does he act this way? It is revealed in multiple episodes that he’s ashamed of being smart and hides his intelligence with a ridiculous and flashy show of stupidity. Take Adrian Monk from Monk: since episode one they had him sleeping on the left side of the bed, leaving an empty space on the right, and never sleeps in the middle. Why? That’s where his wife used to sleep before she was killed by a car bomb. Characters have reason and motive behind everything they do just like real people.

7. Research! Very important. While writing for Guzma I had to do extensive research on many things. Such as: why someone would want to cut their thighs, chronic depression and other disorders, and the affects alcohol has on an alcoholic AND how it interferes with depression. Research also helps you avoid offensive stereotypes! Another way to do research besides google is speak to someone involved in what you’re writing. Ask if you can question an current/ex alcoholic about what it is like to have that addiction. Ask someone who is disabled how they take care of themselves and the terms for prosthetics/wheelchairs/etc. Make sure to ask if you CAN ask them a question first, though. Never assume that they are willing.

8. Get the app Dictionary.com. It’s a blessing bc not only is it a dictionary, but it’s also a thesaurus. It’s incredibly helpful.

9. If you have the time, take prompts! Tumblr is full of people eager for fanfic content and they’re always ready to give a prompt to those willing to write.

10. Give yourself time. If you get bored with what you’re writing, take a breather. Your writing suffers if you continue to write when you don’t want to and it takes all the fun out of it. Don’t force yourself.

11. Buy self help books! If you want to become a writer like me, this is something that should be done. Buy a book about how to create complex characters and dynamic dialogue, it will help you for years to come. If you are only writing for fun, however, you probably won’t want to shell out 15-20 bucks on a book about writing. So this one you can take or leave depending on your situation.

12. Plan out the plot. It really does help. I avoid doing that and it only causes me problems. I recently planned out 32 chapters and now I know exactly how I want Alone and Hunted to end! I don’t have to worry about whether or not the next chapter will fit along with the story, because everything is planned out for me.

Sorry this got long!!! These are only a few I could think of lol. I could honestly ramble on forever about this. Good luck to you!!!

#writing tips #text #long post #asks

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