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insecure-snek · 3 months

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I feel like this is probably an unpopular opinion (that’s why I’m posting here and not on twitter) but I just wanna know if anyone else feels this way.

Obviously, I think Wilbur is the one Shelby is talking about, and as someone who was also abused, I feel stronger hearing her story. I hope she’s able to find peace soon.

Maybe I’m just an overly optimistic person, but I think Wilbur needs help. A lot of it. And I think, probably not a popular idea, that even though he’s a piece of shit in this situation, that he deserves it.

I’m an overly trusting person by nature. Obviously I wasn’t there when any of this happened. I am just a stranger on the internet. I don’t know what went on, I didn’t see anything happen. However, I think I want Wilbur to get better and I think he can.

He needs to be deplatformed. At least until he has PUBLICLY apologized to Shelby, and is showing to his friends (not us, the audience, not only Shelby, EVERYONE HE KNOWS PERSONALLY) that he is making an effort to never treat another person like that again. But I think, and please don’t come with your pitchforks for me, the person Wilbur abuses the most is himself.

He clearly has other problems that are not making him a good person. Mental health is not a excuse for poor behavior. However, it is an explanation. Your mental health issues and trauma are not your fault, however, managing both those things are unfortunately YOUR responsibility. They are HIS Responsibility to fix and manage, not Shelby’s, not Phil’s, not James, NO ONE BUT HIM.

Call me stupid, or crazy, or whatever, but I firmly believe in the idea of (almost) every human being capable of change. I have siblings who used to treat me terribly, who are much older than me, and I was hurt by them. But as I grew, I saw them realize just how terrible they treated me. They changed their behavior, and apologized to me many many times. They showed me people can wake up and change their lives around. And, whether or not Wilbur comes back to content creation, I hope he gets the help he so clearly needs.

Shelby owes him nothing. His fan base owes him nothing. His friends owe him nothing. Wilbur owes them everything. Shelby deserves to hold back her forgiveness when it so clearly isn’t deserved. She should never forgive him if she doesn’t want to. That’s her right.

Maybe I believe in people too much. But I truly hope he changes. Not only for his friends, family, and loved ones, but for his own sake. He’s going to end up dead if he continues this way, and I believe no one deserves to die. (I’m not even for the death penalty. Let them sit and suffer forever).

Anyway, get some rest all, drink some water, and remember that the world becoming a better place starts with you. Treat people the way you wanna be treated. 💕

Update: Wilbur’s response was absolutely awful, no surprise there. As someone else who responded said, abusers often don’t think of themselves as such. I still hope he gets help. Props to ranboo and all the others standing up to him. I hope this wakes him the fuck up. Until further notice, please stop supporting him. Unfollow him, un add his music, whatever you can to get him to deeply regret this shit he’s done. Those were his actions. These are the consequences.

#wilbur soot #twitter

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lovelyyandereaddictionpoint · 1 year

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How would the suitors reaction be when their wife ( Crewle daughter) is pregnant with triplets? And meeting the kids after birth?

With Ruggie, Jack, Lions, Malleus, Silver, Trey, Vil and Ace

Triplets Are Here | Yandere Twisted Wonderland Crewel Daughter

Ruggie Bucci

“What can I say I’m a beast in bed!”

He’s not going to act like it even could have been inherited to you

He’s got a whole new air of confidence

Not only does he have the woman of his dreams

But he knocked her up times three

Hopefully that will squash anyone else’s delusions about being with you

Either way he doesn’t mind getting rid of them the old fashioned way

“Awww they look like we had babies! Oh wait-”

“Just focus on feeding that one.”

“Yes Mama!”

Jack Howl

“...!”

“Jack?”

“!!!!”

“Jack?!”

“!!!!”

“If you faint now, I won’t catch you!”

This is the best news

A strong litter, a perfect mate

He’s protecting his already larger than average pack

“Back away or I will not hesitate to end your life. I’ve got four lives to protect now.”

Leona Kingscholar

“Geez…three?”

“Don’t make that face.”

“What face? I’m just surprised you took me so well.”

He has mixed feelings about it

Especially when he’s catering to you as your belly swells to an almost unbelievable size

And you groan in pain

“Why don’t the brats just get here. I hate seeing you in pain.”

He’s heard of other lions so jealous they kill their kin

But as he holds the little bundles he can’t begin to fathom it

He might just cry

Malleus Draconia

“If you and I were not made for each other, theres noway this could be.”

He’s ecstatic

But the entirety of Briar Valley and the world around you must be made to cater to you

Devoted to your comfort and health above all else

he even struggles to let Crewel see you

“Nothing will ever hurt my loves. My babes. My wive. I’d curse the world for you.”

Genocide Murder spree ensues should there be any pain or assassination attempts

No one’s so much as flicking you

He’d sooner rend them to ash

Silver

“Three…at the same time…?”

“Yes so we’ll have to get three times the baby equipment and–Silver?”

“Three…in…you?”

He’s barely processing any of it

Even when he’s practically carrying the four of you as you waddle places

“Our babies…”

“Aren’t they precious they have your eyes!”

“M-m-my eyes-? Agh-!”

“Its okay babe this is a good time to cry.”

“H-how did Dad do it!? I-I’m never letting any of you leave me!”

Any protective traits are amplified even higher

And if there was ever a time he refused to kill anyone in his pursuit for love

That has long since past

Trey Clover

“Well I did always say I wanted a big family!”

He’s thrilled to see your tummy rounding with his children

All while you incessantly demand for his sweets and cooking

And he’s jumping to his tooth brush after a rough morning

But its all made even better when they arrive

Little mixes of his love and himself

“They’ll have the cutest little teeth!”

He definitely saves them when they get older

But he’s the perfect papa

Poisoned sweets and all

Vil Schoenheit

“We’ll be parents…is that registering?”

“Barely. When we agreed to marry I doubted ever moving further than that.”

“Does it make you unhappy?”

“Not in the slightest.”

He’s brimming with anxiety

Worry eating away as he contemplates his own jealousy and the excitement of having a child

It doesn’t become much easier when the triplets arrive

He despises the paparazzi

So much so he’s willing to set his rabid fans on them

Purge them of every photo of his adorable babes

He’s the only one who gets the honor

A dazzling photo of your delivery is only for his eyes

Doxx the peeping toms

“They’re all mine. I’m willing to lose everything for them.”

Ace Trappola

“Dang! I really am amazing–Ow! Joking, joking.”

He couldn’t be happier

What better way to prove his love ownership of the sexiest woman alive if it weren’t for the giant round belly you had

And soon to be three little rascals that are further testaments of his status

He’ll whine about things

Probably more than you

But in the end he’s glowing with pride as you look down at your freshly born babies

“Ehehe they can’t deny that I may have children for days but I’ve got game.”

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sophie-frm-mars · 2 months

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Hi, ex-supporter here. Genuinely hope you’re doing well. I have been tempted to start up my support again because you genuinely are a talented writer/creator and I do enjoy your work.

I hope you understand supporting your Patreon is somewhat fraught. Your private life should be none of our business, but sadly it is relevant here. Moral action, both private and political is central to your work; you have called out plenty of people for abuse & morality drives your politics. We know abuse took place on your end, but that’s all.

A lot of people like myself might be emotionally rooting for you to bounce back from this, but are unable to support you right now because that moral dissonance has not been resolved. We really don’t know if you are like other ‘cancelled’ leftist influencers and just use leftist values to deflect attention away from abuse, or you are actually trying to do better and working on yourself.

You don’t owe us anything. However, many of us who are eager to support you are forced to hold back because trust has been damaged, and there has not been any real sign of reparation or reconciliation. Maybe you think those kind of questions are invasive, maybe you don’t think we are real fans for not sticking by you despite the allegations.

I don’t know, I just want you to know that there are plenty of people who do want to support you, but feel they need to trust you first. And that can’t happen without addressing some things.

Anyways, best wishes. Take care.

Hiya, thank you for speaking to me on this.

Before I say the rest of what I say I want to be clear that between me and the people I was involved with in 2023, there were some instances where I was responsible for harm, there were instances where I received harm and there was also a general pervasive ecosystem of harmful behaviours in the community I was in. This includes people who signed the statement against me, and in one instance one of them did something which everyone to whom I have described it has agreed is sexual assault, though there is more besides.

For the time being I'm not talking publicly more about what happened because it was a very messy situation, and although I have been seriously harmed by issues in my personal life being litigated in public in this way, I don't want to give my full account of my relationships with everyone involved because I don't want that type of harm to be done to other trans women. There are plenty of complicating factors as there often are in real life that social media isn't really capable of parsing. I have made it clear repeatedly that I am open to hearing anything that people involved want to say to me, and I talked in this post in January about that and about what I would be doing to ensure that I put in the work and make sure I don't cause harm like it again

https://x.com/sophie_frm_mars/status/1745414530455261531

I think that that post says everything I would like to say for now, although I regret saying I agree that my behaviour was abusive, because with more distance and perspective I don't think abusive behaviour was actually described to me.

As I understand it via the support that my therapist and friends have offered, my problems in 2023 were that: I wasn't taking my mental health seriously, I didn't learn good kink practice, I had very little appreciation of my own boundaries and when I shouldn't be doing something that someone asks me to do, and I was high basically all the time. I am in therapy and doing DBT and taking my mental health deadly seriously, I have done a huge amount of reading assigned by my therapist about kink, sex, relationships and mental health, I am working in an ongoing way on learning how to effectively communicate, know my boundaries and understand myself well enough to not be in the kinds of situations that risk harm, and I'm no longer high all the time.

(If anyone is interested in those book recs, so far I've read: Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again by Katherine Angel; The Right To Sex by Amia Srinivasan; Screw Consent (I hate this edgy title) by Joseph Fischel; Playing Well With Others; The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren; I Hope We Choose Love by Kai Cheng Thom; The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W Hardy; and Dissociation Made Simple by Jamie Marich. There have been some others, and I've written a bit about them in the book club channel on my discord as I've been reading)

I haven't heard from the people involved. The last I heard from anyone was one of my exes calling me a pathological liar and saying that they just want to move on with their lives, so while I'm doing the work to make sure I act better in future I am just trying to get on with my life and let them get on with theirs. I hope this clarifies why I have not talked further about the situation.

I will say that the last few months have been hellish for me. I have been frequently suicidal, I spent Christmas and new years alone, I lost a tooth because I couldn't afford proper dental treatment, people from within the community I've been ostracised from have been putting pressure on my remaining friends to cut ties with me, Keffals had my abuser on her twitch stream, a bizarre exaggerated and monsterised version of my personal life has been publicly gossiped about by trans people, fash and "leftist" drama streamers alike, I have been doing other work to make sure I can still pay rent and afford my bills and my HRT, and to survive. As I've been getting more stable and more able to focus on things besides this, I've been working on new writing because all I want with regard to my work and my channel is for my writing to help people. I don't want to talk about my private life, but I do understand that some number of people will feel after what has been said about me that they can't move forward with me without hearing the full details. Lots of people in my life have repeatedly encouraged me to publish a full account of everything that happened but I know how the Internet works and I don't want other trans women to be harmed in the ways that I have been harmed.

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yanderelinkeduniverse · 9 months

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I'm not sure if you've been asked this before, but could you do the chain with a reader that is very much NOT built for the outside world?? (ie has asthma, hayfever, and all the works that werent an issue back in their modern world...) if the chain is too much, than maybe specifically just wild or twilight haha. thank you so much if this is possible! I'm a new fan, but these characters have infested my brain lmao

Oh honey they would be on you 24/7 and I mean that literally.

Admittedly, they’ll each be slightly irritated with this situation, they don’t hold any ill will towards you having someone who isn’t suited for traveling or combat accompanying them isn’t making their job any easier.

But as time goes on and bonding happens, when their blossoming feelings start edging into obsessive devotion, they have some…realizations.

For one, you’re just so delicate, even in your own world you were faced with specific burdens that others just weren’t. And while these burdens may have been alleviated by things from your own world, in theirs you struggle greatly.

So of course this sparks the already existing fear of you leaving because they’re smart enough to know that you want to go back. And they understand, why wouldn’t you wish to return a place with remedies you couldn’t find in theirs?

But where they once felt slightly burdened by your presence, now they are burned by your absence. You occupy every their every waking thoughts and at night they’re blessed with dreams of you.

At this point it feels like their hearts beat just for you.

Suffice it to say, they aren’t willing to let you go, not in the slightest. So they overcompensate by making it so you don’t have to lift a finger.

When in battle you are their first priority, protecting each other or themselves be damned. No hard feelings though since everyone is on the same page about this.

And lets say you get winded easily when walking with the group.Don’t worry, Twilight always has a spot for you on Epona and if on the off chance he doesn’t then he’s totally willing to just carry you.

A little too willing at some points since you’re pretty sure he nearly got into a fist fight with the Captain over who got to carry you one time…

Any and all chores you previously did as a part of the routine set up in the group have been pushed aside onto the other, more willing boys. Particularly Wind, Wild, and Hyrule since those three have always wanted to impress you and have you look at them and only them and say you’re proud of them, preferably accompanied by a kiss-

Plus, you’ll have a buddy in Sky who can relate to your issues and is always there for you whenever you need someone to vent to about your frustrations.

Sometimes you feel bad for pulling him away from the others to talk about your problems, but you don’t see the side eye he gives the others and the way his lips curl into a triumphant smile.

Whenever you share the former thought with him though, he always brushes off your concern and just says that he wants you to be happy and seeing you feel a bit more calm after venting makes him more joyful than you can imagine. You don’t owe him anything, just keep letting him hold your hands while you talk and he’ll be fine~

All in all, they just want you to see this world as more appealing than your own. You won’t need to worry about your health when they’re around to take care of you, nor would you become stressed because of job or school.

They’ll handle everything and take care of you, all you need to do is stay.

#linked universe #yandere linked universe #acrylic answers #yandere linked universe x reader #lu wind #lu twilight #lu warriors #lu wild #lu sky #linked universe x reader

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reiashiftsrealities · 1 month

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Saying my piece on the whole Matt debacle because y’all piss me the FUCK off.

(For context to anyone who doesn’t know, someone posted their experience with Matt at the meet and greet tour thing, and claimed he had an anxiety attack in the middle of it and had to step out. I’m not sure if he came back or not.)

Matt is a person. A human. A lovely being who does NOT owe you anything. Yes you paid for it yes you wanted to meet him, but you’ve got to realize that anxiety isn’t subjective. Coming from a person with a medical diagnosis of an anixety disorder, you can’t just “turn it off” at will. Anxiety attacks aren’t like panic attacks that come at random. Anxiety attacks build up over time, and Matt meets a lot of people during those tour dates. Your meet and greet just happened to be his breaking point, which isn’t your fault, but it isn’t his either.

“He’s over here getting money for this while I’m losing it.” Do you really believe he WANTED to have an anxiety attack in front of you? Do you have ANY idea how humiliating that can be? I assure you, no one would want that.

And of fucking COURSE Chris wouldn’t continue the meet and greet until Matt was okay. I’m so sorry but he’s going to prioritize his brother’s health over a fan. I would too. They don’t owe you anything but kindness and Matt is nothing if he isn’t. The only person being an ass here is YOU.

I’m sorry your experience wasn’t what you wanted but it is NOT Matt’s fault he has anxiety. Never has been. Never will be. Period.

#sturniolo fandom try not to be horrible people challenge (impossible)#i feel so bad for matt #can’t believe he had to meet you #christ #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #the sturniolo triplets #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets

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theresattrpgforthat · 10 months

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Is there a ttrpg like Blades in the Dark but with more character options & mechanical depth?

THEME: Crunchy Dark Victorian

Hello friend! I am assuming that this request is asking about genre, which I'd classify as dark fantasy/steampunk or fantasy/Victorian. I have a few ideas for this game, going in a few different directions. (I'm also interested to see if any of my followers have something they can add to this list!)

Malifaux, by Wyrd Miniatures.

Welcome to Malifaux, a twisted mirror of an alternate Earth in the 1900s; a world of gothic horror, Victorian structures, steampunk constructs, and wild west gunslingers. Rife with undead amalgamations, monstrous vengeful apparitions, and other creatures that bump in the night, these near-lawless lands are still worth treading for some, as the Soulstones deep within the cavernous catacombs are worth more than the sweat and blood it takes to obtain them.

I don’t know how I feel about equating tactical gameplay with mechanical depth but right now it’s still the first thing I think of when that term shows up describing ttrpgs. You will need a map to play this game, and something to represent buildings, trees, and other types of terrain. You will also need small figurines to represent your characters as you track the battle. Players manage Crews, rather than a single player character. Each member of a crew will have a stat card that will help you track things such as Cost, Characteristics, Health, Abilities and Stats. I think it’s very unique that this game uses playing cards rather than dice to help you determine what happens during play.

This is a setting full of assassins, mercenaries, necromancers, and scoundrels, all who contribute differently to the battles that you’ll play in. If you want a game that’s more like a tabletop game than a skirmish game, then you might want to look at Through the Breach instead (or alongside Malifaux), published by the same company.

Cthulhu by Gaslight, by Chaosium.

IN THE 1890s, Cthulhu and his minions share the globe with the mighty British Empire. But they owe allegiance to an empire of their own — a dark and cruel design on ownership of the world and on the dreams of humanity. Even among the green fields of rural England, only thoughtful and energetic intervention keeps the shadows at bay.

This is a supplement to help you play Call of Cthulhu in a Victorian setting. Call of Cthulhu uses a percentile system, in which you must roll under your skill number to succeed. This means that if you have a stealth skill of 50, you have a 50% chance of success. Characters are expected to die and die quick in Call of Cthulhu, so it’s recommended that each player creates a cast, with plausible reasons for each character to be drawn into the mystery as you play.

The book’s main purpose it to set the original game into a new setting, so it contains a primer on the Cthulhu mythos in Victorian England, as well as tips on running the campaign, a selection of friends and foes, as well as a couple of scenarios that you can drop into a Cthulhu game. If you’re a fan of making your dark game even more horrific, you might want to check this out!

Bloodclotte, by Nick Duff.

Bloodclotte is a tabletop RPG about doctors in a world of Gothic horror, where alchemy, reanimation and medical astronomy are used to save lives every day. Player characters work in a war hospital settled inside an abandoned castle, treating the soldier and civilian casualties of a continent in violent chaos. As patients develop unusual symptoms, the war unfolds, supply lines falter, and morale breaks down, the doctors must work together to keep the hospital from being overwhelmed.

Bloodclotte uses the Resistance Toolkit, which rolls small pools of d10s, with staggered successes to replicate layered storytelling. It has a great amount of potential for varied and interesting character classes, such as a Yellow Chemist, a Metaphysician, or a Death Priest. There are varying levels of Difficulty, and a resource called stress that pushes you closer and closer to Fallout.

I haven’t played a Resistance game so I don’t know how complex it is mechanically to Blades in the Dark. I don’t think it’s less complex than Blades - but it’s definitely different, so I think this system its at least worth checking out. To get an idea of how the system works, you can always look at the Resistance Toolkit, on Rowan, Rook & Decard’s website.

Also...

I've done a similar recommendation for Fallen London games before, many of which lean towards a streamlined or narrative kind of play, but I talk about Unhallowed Metropolis, by Strix Publishing there. You can read more about it in that post, but it's basically a zombie apocalypse happening during Victorian times, and it's definitely on the crunchier side. Worth checking out!

#tabletop games #indie ttrpgs #dnd #game recommendations #asks #blades in the dark #victorian horror #gothic horror

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sflow-er · 4 months

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I don’t think August will have any kind of legal repercussions unless the drugs do come out and/or he gets officially accused for the video and it becomes a Wilmon vs August situation. I do think though we might get social justice and honestly that’s the biggest punishment for August since his status is all he cares about and needs in order to succeed in life. If they take that away from him he is done (which is also why I could maybe see his mental health getting even worse).

That being said, 6 episodes (even if one of them might reach a one hour length) aren’t enough and I’m scared the multiple storylines will be rushed and some things not even properly addressed…

Hi anon! Sorry it's taken me a couple of days to reply.

I'm a little confused about the first part, as the drugs and the video are the only things August has even done that could lead to legal repercussions. But I'm guessing this ask is more of a general response to my criminal justice post...? That post was never meant as a prediction of what is likely to happen in S3. It was an attempt to describe how things could potentially turn out if the show did go down the police investigation + charge route. Around the time when I wrote that post, many fans seemed to be hoping for August to get 475 years in prison for making and posting the video, which simply wasn't consistent with legal precedent or the basic tenets of the Swedish justice system. So, I wanted to try and explain the framework. As for the most likely outcome in the show, I do think 'social justice' (in your words) or perhaps even 'poetic justice' is a decent prediction! It would be a pretty fitting end to August's arc for him to be locked out of the inner circle he was so eager to gatekeep, and to see his own actions cost him everything when he started out telling Wille that people like them could get away with murder. That being said, I do think it's a bit of an oversimplification to say that status is all August cares about, as there's a lot more to it than just him being hungry for power and success. I mean, he definitely is, don't get me wrong! But his status is also inextricably linked to his father's memory and legacy, which he cares very much about, and his sense of self-worth, which is very low underneath all the bravado. In other words, you are spot on that losing his status would be a critical blow. I also agree that we'd have every reason to worry about his mental (and physical!) wellbeing in that scenario - and that's where my opinion probably diverges from the majority of the fandom. No matter how awful and wrong August's actions were and how much I want to see him held responsible (whether legally or socially), I personally believe in rehabilitation through accountability and effective intervention. Especially in young people whose brain isn't even done maturing yet, but also in adults (as my spouse's work in a relevant field proves to me over and over). I want to emphasise that I'm not talking about August being forgiven. His victims don't owe him that, nor does he deserve it when he doesn't even fully understand the gravity of his actions or regret the harm he caused to Simon for example. I'm just saying that seeing some consequences is an opportunity for him to get some help. To start dismantling his warped views, building the true self-worth he lacks and the resilience he needs to weather the loss of his status, and somewhere down the line, growing into someone who no longer hurts others and himself the way he's been doing. I'm aware that we probably won't get to see that growth in the six eps we've got left. I'm just crossing my fingers for some hints in that direction - him looking into therapy, picking up a pitchfork to muck out Rousseau's stall at a decrepit Årnäs, or if he does end up in community service for example, getting started on that. I am also reasonably prepared for some of his issues to not be addressed, even if I do see that as a huge missed opportunity. But I dread the possibility of the show ending with him in a state where we can expect him to end up like his father, completely alone and unable to cope with the consequences of his own actions. It would partly sully Wilmon's well-deserved justice for me and make for a tragic ending (and as August is quite universally hated in the fandom, I'm not at all sure how that would be received).

#young royals #august horn of årnäs #august horn #young royals analysis #young royals speculation #yr fandom #august anon discourse

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silverbladexyz · 1 year

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Hi! I just had this random thought because I have been simping over 16! Chuuya (it’s the ponytail) I know you’ve been asking for Flags request, but like, what if, and hear me out, the reader is a part of the flags before him and ends up being the one that brings Chu into the group or requests that Mori assigns him to it (I haven’t read Stormbringer, just seen spoilers which I don’t mind so I don’t know how Chuuya ends up with them) but when he finds the Flags all dead, the reader is also exposed to the deaths of the others since they didn’t show up in time for Verlaine to kill them as well and over the little time Chuuya had with the flags, he quickly fell in love with the reader and they end up being there for Chu whenever he needs it (since we all know being around Dazai, Verlaine, and Mori got exhausting after a while) so eventually the two fall for each other, but the reader ends up being killed during the Dragonhead Conflict by Shibusawa when they have off because their ability is a tad bit strong. It’s called the Core of Reality and it allows the reader to alter any aspect of reality they know about except death. Once someone dies, the reader can’t use their ability to revive them.

Idk why but I’m just feeling Chuuya angst today. If you don’t want to write this, go ahead and discard it. Your health and wellbeing comes first after all, especially during these times of illness and frigid cold.

My poor boy Chuuya... you're a genius for coming up with this idea.

The image does not belong to me. It belongs to it's original owner.

TW: Death, blood, angst. Stormbringer and Dead Apple spoilers below. I tried my best with this songfic.

No time to die

"And this is Nakahara Chuuya. From today onwards, he is now a member of the Flags."

You looked curiously at the boy standing behind Pianoman. He was of short stature, with ginger hair and blue eyes and a slightly temperamental look on his face. He looked to be around your age; if not, slightly older. You had approached him first.

“So you’re Nakahara Chuuya... I’m Y/N L/N. Welcome to our group!”

I should've known

I'd leave alone

A year had passed when Chuuya had joined the Flags. His easily-angered personality had made him the target of Albatross’s teases, yet he still managed to get along well with everybody. His temper had slightly put you off at the start, but over time, you came to see that he wasn’t that bad of a person you thought him to be.

While you still weren’t that big of a fan of his mood-swings (as you called them), with your calm and caring nature, you quickly managed to befriend Chuuya. You weren’t someone who set him off on purpose, and you never teased him; something that was refreshing for him. He was a lot calmer around you, something which the Flags noticed and definitely teased you two about, but Chuuya had always retorted that you two were ‘just friends’.

However, you didn’t mind at that time. There was almost no space for romance in the dangerous life of a mafioso; even friendships were dangerous. You were glad to have befriended the Jewel King, since he did prove himself to be quite loyal and trustworthy to you and the Flags, and he had saved your life quite a couple of times too.

But all good things come to an end eventually.

Just goes to show

That the blood you bleed is just the blood you owe

You didn’t know what you were doing. You had smelt the blood inside the pool hall; and instinct told you that it was not the blood of an enemy. Immediately, you used your ability to place you in front of the entrance, and you desperately slammed the door open, running in to see what had happened and if you could save anyone.

But it was too late.

Your throat hurt. A high-pitched scream resonated in the hall. A scream full of devastation and hopelessness, of one who had just lost everything yet who could’ve stopped it. A scream of pain, sorrow, darkness. Of a storm that had just been brewed.

It was only when Chuuya went into the hall and ran to your side did you realise that you were the one who was screaming.

We were a pair

But I saw you there

“Y/N. Stay back. It’s too risky if you come with me.” You bit your lip as you faced Chuuya defiantly, standing in front of him with your fists clenched.

“It’s risky either way if I go with you or stay! There’s no doubt I’m a target on Verlaine’s list, and he’s going to make it happen with or without your presence! Besides, my ability can actually help you-”

“I don’t care how powerful or useful your ability is! Just stay! The Mafia will protect you, and besides, it’s me that Verlaine wants. I was the one who caused all of these problems. And I have to be the one to solve them. The Flags were enough; I can’t let you or anybody else die because of me!” You frowned and stepped forward.

“Doesn’t mean that you can’t accept help from other people! Verlaine will simply murder everyone in the Mafia with no remorse to get to me, and you know how my ability is useless against death! Besides, we’re the Mafia. We have each others’ backs and we’ll make whoever hurt us pay tenfold!”

“...” You and Chuuya stood there, glaring at each other, neither side giving in.

It was a long time before Chuuya finally clicked his tongue.

“...Fine. You can come along. But don’t you dare cause any trouble or die on me. Because I’ll be the one to kill Verlaine.”

Too much to bear

It had been a few weeks since the King of Assassins incident.

You sat next to Chuuya in a bar. It was quiet; you two were the only customers there, and there was a comfortable yet agonising silence between you and Chuuya. You took a few sips from your drink, but Chuuya didn’t move at all.

“What’s wrong? You’ve been quite silent... is there something on your mind that’s bothering you?” Chuuya didn’t answer immediately. He stared forward at his drink, his eyes vacant, yet his expression was unreadable. You knew what he was thinking of.

His dry chuckle caught your attention.

“...It’s ironic, isn’t it?”

You blinked, yet you said nothing.

“Almost everything bad that happens in my life is all because of me. The Sheep betrayed me because of my arrogance and incompetent ability to be a good leader for them. My existence was the reason why the Flags were killed. It’s as if it’s my punishment; a cruel game to see how long I can last for before I’m gone as well.”

“...” You were silent for a while.

Chuuya felt something warm on his hand, and he looked at it to see your hand tenderly caressing his. His gaze went to your face, and he saw your eyes filled with care and... something else.

“... I won’t lie to you. Nearly everything bad that happened to you was somewhat because of you.” Chuuya’s expression was unreadable, yet he felt your fingers start to gently trace soothing circles on the back of his hand.

“That is how life is like. It’s how we choose to respond to it is what truly determines who we are. Whenever life knocks us down, we get back up again. No matter how painful the situation is, no matter how impossible it seems to bounce back, life finds a way. It hurts a lot; it always does, but it will get better in the end.” Your fingers delicately traced the small, dark spot on his wrist.

“But I’ll be here for you. I know it’s hard to promise that I’ll always be by your side since death is always around the corner... but I’ll never willingly leave you. And that’s a promise.”

The bar was silent for a while. You could tell that he was feeling much calmer; although he was still slightly vulnerable, your presence alone had soothed him. You continued tracing circles on the back of his hand, your gentle touch having no sign of ending.

It was in that moment that Chuuya felt something else spark within him.

Something that would eventually be called... ‘love’.

You were my life but life is far away from fair.

The Dragon’s Head Incident. The bloodiest 88 days in the history of Yokohama.

The Port Mafia suffered heavy losses; some because of rival groups and accidents, but most were because of the mysterious ability user named the ‘White Giraffe’. Whenever he struck, there was a thick fog, so thick that nothing can be seen through it. After it disappeared, everybody was dead.

And the White Giraffe himself would be gone alongside the fog.

It had grown to the point that the Boss, Mori Ougai, had no choice but to send one of his strongest subordinates to investigate and possibly end this whole blood-stained carnage.

And so you found yourself, face to face, with the ability user that was responsible for all of this.

In a battle that you had lost in the first place.

Was I stupid to love you?

Was I reckless to help?

Your ability, ‘The Core of Reality’, appeared and stepped in front of you. It tilted it’s head as it looked at you, and you knew nothing could help you prevent your fate. Nothing at all.

Was it obvious to everybody else?

“...H-hey! Y/N!!!”

Chuuya’s voice, tinged with raw emotion, alongside his hands that grabbed you and turned your body over, desperately trying to see any remainder of life in you. But it was too late. He knew it himself, yet he refused to think that you were dead.

“W-wake up! You’re fine! So just please wake up!”

That I’ve fallen for a lie

Your body, broken and torn in so many places that it was unrecognisable, yet Chuuya still recognised it as you. His shaking hands held you, clutching you to his chest, not wanting to let go. The ache in his heart was familiar, yet it was never as strong as before until this.

You were never on my side

Rage. That was all what Chuuya felt.

A deepening, bubbling feeling that made him desire the blood of the White Giraffe. He wanted to kill him; crush him with gravity in the most painful way possible. He didn’t care whether Mori would get angry or not, or if he would die because of his recklessness. Chuuya just needed to kill him; give the ability user the death that he deserved.

All for you.

Fool me once, fool me twice

Chuuya stood in front of your grave, a few flowers in his hand. It was a place where only the richest could afford; there was no speck of dust on your tombstone, or anything that looked the slightest bit out of place. His eyes cast over the words etched onto the cold stone, so familiar to him yet still so foreign at the same time.

Setting the flowers beside your headstone, he sat down like he always did every single time he visited you.

“... I haven’t visited you in a while. The roses I brought last week have just become to wilt. That’s probably the longest time I have been gone for.”

The flowers around your grave were always fresh; as if it was a vain attempt to bring some life somehow in this place tinged with the afterglow of death. They bloomed brightly before wilting a week later, as if they too had joined the unfortunate souls in the afterlife. Yet the ones around your grave were always joined by newer ones just as the old ones had nearly started wilting.

Are you death or paradise?

Chuuya started off by telling you about his day. How he managed to take down an enemy organisation alongside the Black Lizard, and how he finished his paperwork just on time so that Mori wouldn’t get mad. It was as if you were still there with him; your precious laughter and reassuring voice replying him in an imaginary conversation.

It’s when he recounts the memories together with you and the Flags which makes his voice have the slightest hint of a crack.

Now you’ll never see me cry

Rain started to pour down from the sky. It was only a light drizzle at first, so slight it was barely noticeable. Yet in a few minutes, it had turned into a storm; with heavy droplets pelting down on everything it landed on. Chuuya was soaked; yet he didn’t pay the rain much mind.

Liquid was flowing down Chuuya’s cheeks. Whether it was the rain, or tears, or both, he didn’t care. The only thing that he was aware of was the ache in his heart; the same old ache that never faded away since the day you left him.

Chuuya slowly stood up. Casting one last glance at your headstone, he slowly turned around and left, his heavy footsteps making temporary indentations on the rain-soaked ground before they were covered up immediately. The flowers around your grave seemed to soak the rain in, doing their best to still bloom their brightest.

He would come back in a week or so. But Chuuya wouldn’t be able to join you anytime soon in the afterlife, no matter how much he missed you, or how much he longed for your touch.

Because there’s just no time to die.

So uhhh... there’s no excuses as to why I took this long to finish this request ;-;

@circinuus @chuuyas-beloved @pianotross @nekokinax @xxelfmamaxx @yuugen-benni @lakeside-paradise @yukitomybeloved @catzlivedforbsd @arisu-chan4646 @sariel626

#bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #chuuya x reader #chuuya angst #silverbladexyz

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ronansgansey · 1 month

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I don’t know how many of you are still here but this hellsite was my genesis and if any of you read and enjoyed my teen wolf fanfic like a decade ago then you should know I have a book coming out. It’s a gritty, gay, upper YA contemporary novel about a loner struggling with a painful past who goes on his high school graduation trip to Europe, where he forms a bond with the class clown that forces him to confront his spiralling mental health. If you can handle some dark themes, enjoy a good balance of heartbreak and laughter, and are a fan of grumpy x sunshine queers and unflinching mental health rep, then this one's for you.

I’m currently on the hunt for ARC readers so if you like to review books (in any capacity; your follower count does not matter) and you’re interested in a free copy, please fill out this here google form.

I love you guys--thank you for your celebrating my fanfiction when I was a baby writer. You gave me the confidence to become a person who writes whole-ass books and I owe you the world.

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triplexdoublex · 1 year

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Colson confuses me...

Wasn't there a point where he was talking bad about her?

It's beginning to come to the point where I like the version of him I create in my head than the real version. Cause none of this shit is making sense anymore.

I'll always be a fan of the music... But as far as him as a person .. I'm so sad cause this is not the person I got tattooed on me.

Like .. you had people riding for you before this chick ... Who didn't even notice you until you had a movie with her.... And she literally picked up and left her husband and kids for you .. the second she gets bored , WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK SHES GONNA DO? Her ex used to be hot shit back in the day too...

Like... Let's keep it a buck. He used to be so active with fans and I completely understand that life happens... But to only wanna show your face when you're pushing something... That energy is musty

I think Colson is confused himself at times, Megan’s been gaslighting and manipulating him for the past 3 years. He was finally free and she sucked him back in. Deep down he knows she’s the problem but she’s got him so brainwashed that it’s him , it’s Mercury , the moon, the stars, the planets alignments ect ect— everything but her. And I’m sure he’s not completely innocent by any means , but I’m sure we’re all in agreement that Megan has fucked him up, and abuse changes you so of course he’s different than he used to be. Artists don’t owe us their social media interaction ( once upon a time there was no social media you just listened to their music and vibed) Now a days artists can see every single thing that’s said about them on social media and I’m sure it takes a huge toll on their mental health , especially someone like Colson who is so openly hated and misunderstood. I don’t blame him. But look at how much he still loves his fans when he interacts with them in person : genuine smiles, letting them sing, acknowledging their signs, reading the little boys song he wrote, remembering familiar faces of fans he’s seen/ met before ect ect. That’s the stuff that matters, not if he’s on social media in his free time.

#machine gun kelly #mgk #colson baker

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profbastard · 1 year

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Me being vulnerable online? GROSS!

Nah but for real, I’m finally getting more into my creative groove at the tail end of a depressive episode that really sucked my spirit dry. Mental health troubles can always be a little scary, but I’ve got great friends and a brother and dad who love me a lot; and with the tools I’ve gathered, I never despair nearly as much or as long as I would years ago.

My advice to people struggling right now, especially artists, is to not hinge your worth on how much/ how well you can create. That belief will keep you depressed longer and stunt your growth both emotionally AND artistically.

I’ve seen it firsthand how much it can hold some people back. Forcing themselves to create but being unsatisfied by all of it, always NEEDING that outside approval above their own.

You’re intrinsically valuable as a person, so go easy on yourself. Be your number one fan even when you cannot create at all or as much as you used to.

Don’t apologize to anyone for that, you have nothing to be sorry for. You don’t owe anyone art, not even yourself. You owe yourself REST, and PATIENCE.

I’m not a psychologist, I’m not a professional artist, and I’m not even that old (though I am the hottest and coolest and smartest person who ever lived). But I hope someone gains something from reading this.

#long post #not art #you are not an art machine

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xsezzie · 7 months

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Profile Tag Game

Hello: My name is Sezzie, I know I can be rather blunt and robotic at times, but I promise you I don’t wish to intentionally hurt you. I am always open to having a chat whether it be in my DMs or through asks.

Chat: Tickling - Of course I like tickling, no shame in that. It’s completely normal… some people get flustered by it? Oh well, those people are the cutest~ Hm? You aren't cute? Well, I guess someone will need some tickles to convince them otherwise!

Chat: Identity - I wonder who I was yesterday, who I’ll be today, and what I’ll be tomorrow… I wish I knew who I was.

Chat: Masking - That thing I just did now, it was incorrect. I will be sure to act correctly in accordance with societal norms next time. If I do not act correctly then others will become disgusted or angry... Just as I would if you were to do the same.

When It Rains: Ugh, this would be nicer if it was at night time…

After the Rain: Everything either looks really clean or really dirty depending on the area… oh look, the birds are coming back out.

When Thunder Strikes: Ah… so relaxing.

When It Snows: What’s that?

When the Sun Is Out: Everything is as it should be…

When the Wind is Blowing: Ugh, my hair is messed up now…

Good Morning: Get up already, the world is perfect at this hour. The bad people don’t come out until later so it’s best to enjoy it while it lasts!

Good Afternoon: So hungry… must do my best to not eat a big meal…

Good Evening: Better get inside… they will be coming out soon.

Good Night: The optimal sleeping hours for those who suffer from depression are 10pm to 5am. Setting yourself a strict bed time will do wonders for your mental health, so hurry along, time for sleep.

About Sezzie: Alphabet - A fellow neurodivergent coworker taught me to think of all my disorders as “my alphabet”… so my alphabet currently is GAD, MDD and BPD… with ASD and ADHD in the process of being diagnosed.

About Sezzie: Writing - I actually hate that I’m the writer in the family and cannot physically draw. But, having a high literacy IQ certainly comes in handy when I’m creating. I’m glad people are able to feel my writing when I put the effort into it.

Something to Share: Name - My real name means “princess” apparently… I hope I don’t come off as one.

Interesting Things: Senses - Ah I love exploring sensory things. Honestly, I believe that feeling sensory pleasure is very soothing and not always supposed to be NSFW as most see it.

Sezzie’s Hobbies: Each of my personalities seems to have different hobbies, but if had to take a guess on the true me… writing, worldbuilding, and video games would be on top! I do also enjoy learning new things and gardening.

Sezzie’s Troubles: My existence troubles me… too dark? Well, deal with it. Life isn’t sunshine and rainbows, and I’m tired of coddling the special ones.

Favourite Food: I do not have the ability to have a favourite food due to my sensory eating issues… my addictions and interests change constantly. Ah but if there is one I’ll always come back to… Chicken Kievs hehe

Least Favourite Food: All of them! I like the art of food but eating? Bleh. I wish we didn’t have to.

About @otomiyaa: Ahhh she is my idol! I have been following her for years.. and only recently got the courage to begin talking to her more. I get nervous and think I come off as some weird fan that thinks they are friends with their idols. Forgive me Otomiya-SAMA!!

About @ticklystuff: He is the first person I began talking to when I joined the community. I feel like I owe him something for all the kindness and chats we have had together. I wish I could talk more often about hot MEN with him hehe

About @ticklish-n-stuff: Sakura-chan is one of the few people I can let my guard down and show my more "embarrassing" or "fangirl" sides to when it comes to characters I like. I am grateful to have her in my life. She also gushes about MEN with me and we have a blast discussing tickling.

About @nataliewritez: Nat is my adorable little sister and is a joy to chat to about anything. I can't believe we have known each other for nearly 2 years already!

About @fanfic-chan: Dessie is so adorable and such a comfy person to be around! Also the biggest lee ever hehe

About @ticklygiggles: Little does she know how cute she is. Perhaps I should go tease her sometime soon...

Tagging @fanfic-chan @nataliewritez @ticklish-n-stuff @ticklystuff @italeean @thatonetickleblog @anzynai @stopiteatpopcorn

#genshin impact #profile game #profile tag game #personal

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welcome-to-green-hills · 1 year

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Slow Activity…

Hello Everyone,

I do apologize for the inactivity here. I’ve been… reflecting. Please expect some relatively slow activity. I have rewritten this post quite a few times in attempt to articulate the exact words of how I feel. No matter how many times I’ve rewritten this post, I find that it’s become harder and harder to tame the explanation. The original intent of this post was meant to be an explanation how I wanted to leave Tumblr. That’s not the answer. Leaving isn’t an answer. In order to fix a problem, the problem has to be acknowledged.

A while ago, I used to be an AU/Ask blog that centered around Sonic and his family. It was a fun and happy little place that I could call my second home. Months after the blog was made and the first film came out, I’ve started receiving asks that proclaimed love and suggestive material. This made me uncomfortable. I had to block. When I added Knuckles to the AU, the asks (though always in the form of anon) became… violent. I had to stop RPing as my AU Sonic for the sake of my mental health and turn off anon.

I’ve shared in the past that I’ve been experiencing some concerns my end. These concerns and problems have been ongoing since 2020. Some have to do in the form of call-out posts, engagements with my friends, and violent asks sent my inbox. I feel that, perhaps, I’ve gained these asks, call-out posts, and harassment due to blocking an account years ago. I also feel that the harassments made to other SCU fans were made because of the block being taken personally.

A block is a block.

I should not have to owe anyone an explanation on why I’ve blocked someone. However, I can see that an explanation has been the demand for years. I can see that if I don’t supply an explanation now on why I’ve blocked you, then you will continue to harass my friends and others in the SCU Fandom. The only explanation that I can supply is this: the asks that we’re sent to me years ago made me uncomfortable. I’ve expressed that plenty of times in the past. I’ve shared this in posts since 2021. I do not owe you an explanation other than that. That continues to be my answer to this day.

A belief was fabricated that I’ve, somehow (?), “influenced” a movement of fans liking Movie!Knuckles and hating Sonic Wachowski. The belief was taken and made into a movement. I’ve seen it here and spread onto other social media platforms. Where this belief came from will forever be a mystery to me. I’m not sure of where these began. These posts on saving Sonic in the second (and upcoming) third film, the artwork, the harassments of other fans, the movie’s actors and writers… these are made out of anger of being blocked.

I understand that a block can hurt. I do. I can completely understand why you’re angry at me to this day still. And I’m sorry that it hurt. The block was made… and they were made to the other accounts that were made in attempt to follow me again. I can understand that the anger still exists to this day. You have every right to be angry at me. All that I ask is that the anger and frustration that lies within your heart is not directed at members of the SCU fandom anymore.

I hate creating drama. I do. But this post needs to be made public. I can see that blocking, reporting, an turning off DMs/anon is not enough anymore. I do believe that as soon as I publish this post, I will be selectively active here.

This needs to stop. This is not okay.

#And with that. I will be off of Tumblr for a week. I’ll see you all soon #mystery anon #off topic #The sad thing about this whole scenario is that I know that you still follow me #It doesn’t matter how many accounts you have and how many I block… you still follow me #Your anger and hatred towards me is fine. I respect that. But please don’t take it out on others. That’s not okay #Also—because I’ve seen the recent activity on your kinky blog—trans lives matter

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museumgiftshoperaser · 1 year

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some thoughts on disability in fanfiction

I have so many thoughts about the common “trope” within the stranger things fandom to give specifically Steve a disability in fanfiction. A lot of my thoughts on this are mixed in with my own complicated feelings about becoming (physically) disabled over the past few years. Which is why i have a hard time writing about it objectively or maybe even fairly. Because some of it brings up a lot of negative emotions regarding ableism I’ve personally experienced. And I’m also still unpacking a lot of internalized ableism so maybe I’m not (yet) able to critique some of this stuff properly. And obviously a lot of these stories are written by people who deal with these (or any) disabilities themselves as a way to explore the topic. I love those! I think writing is such an excellent way of exploring your own feelings. So any of my critisisms aren’t about people using (fan)fiction to write about their own experiences. I’ve read some absolutely incredible works about this topic!!

A lot of these pieces of fanfic featuring Steve with a disability (you typically see either being HOH, having epilepsy or migraines) tend to fall within the larger hurt/comfort trope. And that makes sense, I guess. I also understand the need/desire for disabled people to read or write stories about characters being comforted through the struggles of disability. But I find that often these stories, especially when written by able bodied people, can fall into some harmful tropes.

The main issue that comes up for me is the romanticization of taking away bodily autonomy of the disabled person. The character, most often Steve in this case, is written as struggling with a disability and having a hard time coming to terms with this and then another character “forces” them to get better or accept help and by doing so takes away their agency in the situation. I don’t care if it’s “”the right thing to do”” or “”he really needed someone to help him”” if you’re taking away someone’s autonomy in a situation that’s kinda fucked up. (there’s some nuance there in cases of severe mental health issues where someone might hurt themselves, but even there autonomy is incredibly important and I’m largely talking about physical disability here). This also includes a lack of autonomy in who gets to know about a characters disability and how they find out. Disabled people aren’t owed anyone info about their health and people learning about it against someone’s will can be very upsetting. Another prominent trope is using disability as a way to explore self-sacrificial elements of Steve’s character. It’s the ‘he always cares for other people first and forgets to care for himself’-thing that is often explored with his character. Writers will turn this character trait on its head by ‘giving’ Steve a disability and thus forcing him to reckon with needing and being deserving of care. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that as an idea. I think many people who become disabled struggle with asking for help and feelings of guilt surrounding this. Which is what makes this a difficult concept to critique. I have a hard time puting into words exactly what rubs me the wrong way about this. But let me just say there is definitely a difference between attempts at exploring disability and turning disabled people into poor little babies who can’t do anything for themselves and oh isn’t that just so sad? Especially when a story lacks correct information about what a disabled person would or would not be able to do themselves. There’s also so much infantilization going on in those cases.

And there’s obviously disabled people with (very) high support needs, but pity and infantilization is never an appropriate reaction. Also! Plenty of disabled people have worked through that shit and are (no longer or were never) constantly feeling guilty about needing care! It’s a logical emotion to go through in our ableist society, but I feel like we could do with more representation of disabled people who don’t feel like horrible burdens just for existing. I say this because people irl are sometimes genuinely confused when I don’t feel bad or guilty or embarrased about asking for accomodation. There’s almost an expectation that we’re supposed to feel bad about requiring assistance and that’s pretty fucked up. I don’t want to give specific examples because I can’t think of any of the top of my head, but also because I’m not writing this to call anyone out. I feel like this fandom has correctly noticed that Steve’s had one too many hits to the head and I think the desire to explore this as a community could be a very positive thing. We should just be mindful of the actual lived experiences of disabled people and use this as an opportunity to educate ourselves about disability and ableism. Not just use it as a way to project fantasies about being cared for onto disabled people. I think that’s what sometimes can go wrong here. Able bodied people might project their desires about being doted on and cared for (VERY valid desires!) onto these characters. But disabled people have different needs and wants regarding being cared for! You often cannot copy your own desire to have a break from your insanely busy life (again, valid desire) and have someone take over for you for a little while onto disabled people without accidentaly perpetuating ableist ideas. You might also run into trouble when you project your own desire to be helpful and needed onto characters who take care of a disabled person. This can be a bit more of a gray area (imo) because caring for loved ones is obviously a great thing. I just think it’s important to keep in mind whether the focus is on wanting to be the person who helps someone and actually helping a disabled person according to their own wishes and standards. These are some very rambly thoughts, but I hope they can prompt some people to have a look at their own ways of reading and writing about disabled people. I think an absolutely necessary first step is to consider whether you are taking bodily autonomy into account, but there are many more nuances into properly writing about disabled people. There’s also always just the option of... not writing about disability if it’s not something you fully understand. Sometimes the latter might be the best route to take.

I’d loved to hear some thoughts from other disabled people!

#stranger things #steve harrington #hoh steve harrington #disability #steddie #just gonna use the steddie tag because i half mentioned those guys and I think these are relevant thoughts for that space #sorry not sorry #this is absolutely not a callout thing #id love to have a larger conversation about this #id love the input of other disabled people #don't care all that much about the input of non disabled people but you're welcome to join the conversation #hate using the word 'trope' in regards to disability but i hope you can see where im coming from here #i also have complicated feelings about giving people 'advice' on writing disabled characters #because in a lot of cases if literally rather people just... not even try...

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