#you make it a bit more bearable

[saesins]

it's suicide prevention month, so here's a reminder that you can reach out to me if you need to. that it's ok to feel terrible after making the right decision. that it's okay to cry. that you're worth it. that I love you. that your feelings and emotions are valid.

I know these things may seem like they mean nothing, but one that I and a lot of people may need to hear right now is that it's okay to feel bad. but stick to what you think is right regardless of that feeling.

I myself am suicidal, so I know how it is. I know that it may feel like nothing is worth living for anymore. and even tho I'm not there myself yet, I know there is something that's gonna make it all worth it. you just need to give it time to find you. and i know sometimes when it's in the moment, it's hard to stop yourself, but just breathe. remember that you're still here. that it's not your time to go yet. if you ever try to die by your own hand, it's not time.

I love you all, and I'm proud of you for making it this far, please keep going. see what's waiting for you in the future. I love you💗

#suicide prevention month #this may seem cheesy to some but things are very hard for me personally right now #and i feel like someone else may need to hear this too #youre not alone #even if you feel like it #i promise someone is willing to listen #i know i am #no matter who you are #if you ever need to talk i swear you wont be wasting my time #talk to me #let it out #if not me #then your loved ones #im sure they cherish you more than you think #youre all so precious to me #and im so glad i got to meet everyone that ive met on here #you make it a bit more bearable

[aulerean]

please hold :)

#grian fanart #hermitblr #hermitcraft grian #hermitcraft season 10 #quick and scribbly thing before i go to bed #i still have no idea how to do lighting but i do think the extended bureaucracy bit is funny so we're gonna do cartoony illustrative vibes #just wanted to make him have sallow green energy #i hate fluorescents #if bureaucracy involved less fluorescent lights it would be way more bearable #this is my humble objectively correct opinion #anyway quick and messy but fun enjoy #grian #permit office #grian mc #hermitcraft #artists on tumblr #my art #art #digital art #illustration #artist #artistsontumblr #fanart #hermitcraft s10 #hermitcraft fanart #hc s10 #uhhh yeah cool you get it thats enough tags #one day i will learn how to do rim lighting and paint using a program that isnt autodesk sketchbook #today #is not that day

[ride-a-dromedary]

[Tell me something about yourself that I wouldn't even think to ask.]

#Baldur's Gate 3 #BG3 #halsinedit #bg3edit #bg3 spoilers #videogameedit #Halsin #otheredits #my stuff #i believe that this line #and it's delivery particularly in regards to his expression dropping before smiling again (because it almost comes across #as halsin being....hesitant to talk about himself because a. he feels like he doesn't do anything interesting #and b. has obviously been made fun of in the past judging by a few things and is waiting for you to as well) #(which makes that choice to be like haha bear and honey isn't that on the nose come off as more a dickish thing to say imho) #and the line 'it was a long time ago the wounds don't heal but they become more bearable' #say a whole lot about halsin in general and are largely overlooked when his character is being analyzed #a n y w a y....i love one gentle giant man please larian fix him up a bit and give him some more to say #otherwise it's fine i'll just be here and still love him and hate colouring this game

[bonetrousledbones]

so when are we gonna start appreciating undertale AUs for fueling a metric fuck ton of the creativity and longevity of the fandom because if i see one more person calling them the cringiest part of the last 8 years i might lose it

#trousled rants #been feeling a bit salty about this for a while but im letting it out now because i Can #but its insane seein ppl say “oh the fandom's mellowed out a lot its way more peaceful now” and agreeing bc it IS #and then “yeah now that AUs aren't so popular anymore its way more bearable” and its like :) okay #and if i told you that fan game you've been talking about for the past month is an au. what then #sighsghs its just like man i GET that a lot of aus are just edgy for the sake of it but shit dude!!! people were just having fun!!!!! #a lot of them were an avenue for ppl learning how to make their own stories!! even if they're not perfect or in character #making a shit ton of papyrus aus is one of the main things that helped me realize how much i love character design #and i KNOWWWW i'm not the only one and youre trying to tell me that's not awesome as hell!!!!! #yeah i probably i have nostalgia glasses but maybe i do kinda miss when everybody was a bit more insane actually . maybe i do #undertale

[mumblesplash]

don’t you hate it when your civilization flees deep underground to escape the wither only to find yourselves trapped down there with something even worse. anyway surprise! i can still draw

#my art #minecraft #minecraft fanart #minecraft ancient cities #they named it the warden because they were its prisoners i will die on this hill #see fellas when i said i was brainrotting about ancient cities i meant like advanced stages of decay #Bad Syndrome: instead of a brain there is sculk #i'm still pondering additional designs for like guards/soldiers and redstone specialists etc #also yeah i was like ok time to design generic ancient city residents for outfit concepts #and bc i'm me they immediately became Characters and now it's a whole thing #their names are echo and felix and they hate each other <3 #echo was actually a temple kid like felix growing up but he fled to the outer city due to irreconcilable differences w the sculk worshippers #felix keeps trying to convince him to come back bc he was one of their most talented alchemists #they don't quite have echo's talent for magic but they make up for it in charisma and violent tendencies #neither of which have yet proved effective in convincing echo to come work for them #these days he mostly dedicates his potion skills to making life a bit more bearable for outer city residents #he got the nickname 'echo' due to his knack for inducing realistic auditory hallucinations of dead loved ones #...i TOLD you it turned into a whole thing #i also have a pet theory that ancient cities invented skeleton horses bc they needed horses but also leather and meat #but that's mostly bc i think the phrase 'have your horse and eat it too' is rly funny

[front-facing-pokemon]

#demifiendcruithne this one is for you. i don't even know if this is your favorite pokémon but when i see it i think of you bc of your icon #lordy this blog is getting more and more difficult as time goes on. apparently we've exited the era of models Just Working for me and now #i have to spend hours tinkering with them just to get the eyes to show up and even then they don't look nearly as good as they used to #when they Just Worked #the alolan forms are kicking my ass. and i even tried to use the swsh models for these guys since i assumed those would work #but now i'm finding out that the Entirety of gen 8 is going to be even more difficult on me #dunno how much longer i can keep up This act unless i find some way to make this easier on me #alolan meowth #update from the future: incredible thanks to jodie-blend here on tumblr for her endless kindness in helping me figure out how to do #this at least a little bit easier. they'll still look a little bit different but at least this has me covered for gen 9 #but for cases like alolan rattata and raticate i'm still fucked. also gen 8 i'm still fucked #but. the complaining above is now a little bit more bearable

[whenthewallfell]

The lackluster romance and overemphasised 'love triangle' in The Hunger Games movies makes more sense when you frame it as Peeta's hijacked memories after the war.

Katniss being super cold towards him? The terrible cave scene? The emotionless 'I need you' on the beach? The general lack of chemistry between them? All the Gale angst?? Peeta's entire character being reduced to a damsel in distress and very much feeling like a spare part??? The totally weird and unsatisfying epilogue where the distance between them in the field is emphasised and something about the lighting and framing makes it feel like a Bad Ending????

boom hijacking it's all in his head

#meanwhile book Katniss is holding his face saying 'i am madly in love with you let us have fat and happy children and grow old together' #i may have implied this in my fic but idk if anyone noticed haha #idk it makes the movies more bearable #it's frustrating because technically they're good adaptations #except for all the important bits #like the whitewashing #and the cursed triangle #and the loss of the emotional core #obligatory no shade at the actors they did the best with what they had #the hunger games #everlark #rambles

[aroace-polyshow]

i complain a lot but i was reminded earlier so like i’d like to say as long as i’m here on tumblr with my friends at least i don’t think i’m dying soon. yeag. ily friends

#mono’s stuff #friends make life a bit more bearable i think and i appreciate you guys forever

[unexpectedbrickattack]

Man thinking about Peppino going to some fancy art event as Pepperman's +1 is such a fun concept. Like there's some snooty art critics there (not necessarily mean just a lil annoying), so Peppino starts drinking a bit so he can tolerate the more pretentious ones and enjoy himself. So now he's comfortably buzzed and following Pepperman around (since he doesn't know anyone else there), probably leaning on him occasionally to keep his balance and Pepper has to keep being like "He's not a consort! he is drunk i swear!!"

The visual of Peppino following Pepperman like a little duckling is going to make me cry 😭 He even has the little raptor hands when hes not holding a glass of wine. Everything is so loud and bright and its making his heart rate go up but Pepperman is taking everything in stride, and HIM being calm and composed helps Peppino stay more or less composed. He still cannot help the ilu’s; its literally reflexive at this point 😭

Also Pepperman LOUDLY proclaiming hes not a consort is so funny hes like so incredibly full of himself that hes like LADIES…AND GENTLEMEN…I KNOW HOW THIS LOOKS…..DO NOT BE ALARMED, HE IS SIMPLY MY MUSE… NO YOU CANT HAVE HIM. I PAID FOR HIM ALREADY. And someone in the back of the hall is like what the fuck did he say? Pay for him???????

#answered #chattin #/// #//// #///// #peppino #pepperman #alcohol #drinking #i also really REALLY like the way you worded it #like yes; hotheaded peppino WOULD drink to make these snobs a bit more bearable #its so easy to get under his skin and hes such a earnest person; wears his emotions on his sleeves #so drinking doesnt really remove that earnestness; but it makes getting angry a lot less possible #and soon hes telling the lady refilling his glass how nice she is and that he loves her hair and shes like MMHMM :| WELL HAVE A LOVELY NIGHT

[mmmairon]

Your tag about the intersection between grief and homesickness fucked me up ngl. Im dealing with the grief of suddenly losing my father and I never thought of it like that but you're so right that's exactly what it feels like

oh anon :( I am so, so sorry you are going through this. in my own experience, the first few months after unexpectedly losing my own father felt like when you were a little kid at a sleepover you didn’t really want to be at—everyone sleeps soundly but you have this indescribable, aching feeling in your chest of I just want to go home, please let me go home. it’s smothering, more than unbearable, and it doesn’t leave.

this kind of grief makes you feel like a little kid again. but not in a good way. home isn’t really anywhere anymore without the person who made it feel like one.

I hope your grief eases soon. It’s lifelong, but it does get easier, in time.

#my heart aches for you anon #i’m sorry to reply to this on father’s day but i couldn’t stop thinking about this ask #i am so sorry for taking so long to reply to it #i wanted my response to be at least a bit meaningful #my dms are always open to anyone who may need anything #grief is a fickle thing #you’re fine (read: numb) for one moment and then the next you want to tear your heart out #even 3 years later as i am now #be kind and patient to yourself anon #time will make things more bearable #asks #anon #not art #sorry to anyone who’s sent an ask in a million years ago #on a bit of a hiatus

[blinkbones]

Nana, Émile Zola

Finally getting some French lit in. To be completely honest, I've had this book for almost a decade, and I never read it. Well, actually, apparently I tried at some point, because I found some underlined bits very early on -- but it's clear that I gave up. I remember struggling with it back then. I didn't, this time. It's nice to see proof of my improvement, although I'm not sure what specific skill is concerned.

For a quick & anachronistic summary, it's the story of a 19th century escort girl who makes it big in paris.

I was actually surprised by how easy to read this was. I kind of expected very difficult language. It is poetic, but not actually difficult. The text is easy to follow, almost journalistic. Poetic journalism.

I really, really enjoyed Nana. It's a long ride, and what a ride. It reads, at times, like a soap opera, with how she has a roster of desperate men orbiting around her. She really is the sun of her novel -- and it is her novel. I entered this book ignorantly (despite being French and a ~lit student, I'm not actually well-versed in my country's literature) and it kept surprising me. Where I expected a moralizing tale, or at least a pessimistic outlook on the arrogant seductress, I got the unstoppable, inescapable success of Nana. It's almost a power fantasy, although I doubt Zola saw it through this angle. I mean, it does end badly. Spoilers, but she fully dies in a disfiguring manner. And there is this underlying theme of Nana, the beautiful Venus from the lower classes, bringing the rot of the sewers to the silk sheets of the aristocracy. She all but ruins the entire upper class with the raw power of her sex-appeal, and I thought that there was something cosmic about it. By the time she's at her apex, she herself does not have control of her situation. She becomes like an empire, constantly conquering further reaches to maintain peace and prosperity throughout her imperial reign. She devours. And yet she's so incredibly human. She felt to me like a deity unaware of its power, and, in that sense, her death (especially because it's in the full bloom of her youth and legendary status) felt more like a shedding of the mortal form. Admittedly, I also just find it more fun to interpret it that way. I'm reading for fun, after all. Ah, the specter of academic seriousness hangs over me.

I think Nana is an easy entry point into that sort of literature. Yes, it's part of some long-ass series, but no, you don't need to read the previous books (I didn't). It's very self-contained. It's a long, very eventful ride, through Nana's chaotic and glamorous world. It's long but it feels like going downhill on a bike, and like everything's going too fast still. And it's fucking funny.

And for you, tumblr, my beloved, yes, you will find some messy queers in there. I only talked about Nana herself here, but Nana holds a whole ensemble cast of secondary characters, many interesting women (a wealth of them, really), that are really a whole other serving of delights that I just didn't have time to talk about here. But seriously, just about every character, especially the women, is interesting.

#i added white borders to make the bad quality more bearable but i think it somehow looks ever blurrier. blaming the tumblr post editor #nana #emile zola #émile zola #french literature #french lit #littérature #litblr #readblr #bookblr #les rougon-macquart #rougon-macquart #bones reads #chatterbones #my faves were satin (toxic) zoé (girlboss) labordette (ma fouine préférée) and actually the count (pathetic little sinner) #the last scene with all the women and their strange conversation is something i'm still pondering #in a good way #for context i think i finished it just a bit under two weeks ago #but still thinking about nana and about so many of the characters #it took me so long to mull it over enough to write this review that i had the time to finish two short reads in the meantime loollll #anyway. if it sounds intriguing to you you should read it #19th century literature

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread

The Meister of Decimen City

a chaotic superhero satire

a genius who’s labelled a villain by the government after her super intelligent dinosaur children get loose is put under supervision 

and has to confront her past / deal with the trauma of her complicated family/sibling relationships

and also the realisation that she might be asexual

#The Meister of Decimen City #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #this is. a lot and i loved it #its very fun. but also emotional childhood trauma #gonna be real this is probably the best ace book I’ve read in a while lmao #in terms of: it is a significant amount of the plot; not just brought up a couple times; #and her ace journey is not just within the context of a romance #(and also the book itself is. not badly written. which is more than I can say for others) #as always I feel like I didn’t Need the romance however I don’t hate this one! it’s unconventional and well developed #and the sibling relationships and friendships are given equal weight #I think if you like Hench you might like this. similar kind of thing #but this is a little more fun maybe and also the MC is genuinely trying to be a good person (unlike in hench where she goes. past morally- #grey lmao) #the MC feels very autistic coded. or adhd? and faceblind maybe there was a part that implied that #There’s a bit of a allegory re: curing superhero powers that make people’s life hard (or specifically: don’t want to cure we want to help yo #you make it bearable other ways) which I would be interested in a disabled person’s opinion on? I feel like it was doing the right sort of #thing but maybe not developed enough / through the ending? idk #anyway i love the dinos............. #asexual books

[quietwingsinthesky]

About Casifer, I actually liked Misha's acting in the vessel and was exited about what was next only to be disappointed in the following episodes.

Misha had the ability to have an interesting character but for some reason didn't delivered.

Yeah, that’s why I’m saying it’s probably a combination of the writing, directing, and the acting. I’m not too sure how Misha would have done if the Lucifer we got in s11 was more. Lucifer. And less ‘evil guy with no real goals except be evil’. Considering how well he was able to pull off Castiel’s inhumanity in s4, I think he might have made for a decent Lucifer (classic edition).

Like I said, he’s not a bad actor! It’s just that in this specific role, what he was given to work with apparently made him decide it was a great idea to lean into a kind of acting that reminds me way too much of guys from my high school doing their Joker impressions. I can’t unsee it when I’m watching him.

(And then there’s the fact that s11 did not know what the hell it wanted to do with Lucifer once they broke him out of the Cage, or what the fuck his motivations were regarding the Darkness, or even THAT HE IS NOT THE FIRSTBORN SON. (im sorry i can’t ever let that go, how do you mess up your own show’s lore that badly. the only conceivable way I can think of is that they Needed Lucifer to be a Dean-Cain-Amara parallel and didn’t stop to remember that he was the younger sibling in his version of this same old story.))

#that last bit. again. not misha’s fault. #but indicative of the casifer arc as a whole. it did not know what it was. it did not know who this character was. #which ends up fucking up lucifer for the rest of the show too. #like yes the seeds of this are planted in the hallucifer arc but that was still. a hallucination. could’ve come back from that. #s11 sets the standard for Lucifer from then on and it. annoys me. #I do find it more bearable when he is being played by mp though. you may make of that what you will. #either it’s because he’s legitimately good at bringing depth to bad writing. or he’s just got the benefit of having been this guy IN s5. #or I just want to get him pregnant. also a possibility alsjfkfjfk. #anyway. casifer arc. bad. and supremely unsexy which should not be allowed for the season lucifer touches Sam’s soul. #ask

[saint-nevermore]

playing pretend is so important. i love settling down to bed with my maladaptive daydreams. more people should roleplay and pretend to be the coolest character they know in their free time i think

#unironically how i navigate the world and it makes everything a bit more bearable if i pretend im Pietre doing it ok? You should also rp #raven.txt

[falloutkeiji]

hi trans people. i love you. it’s really hard to be trans right now but i am so thankful to have found such a lovely community of people who understand me. it makes these times a little bit easier.

#shoutout to my trans mutuals /gen #(which is also most of my mutuals) #feeling awfully dysphoric but also grateful that i know you guys #it makes times like these the tiniest bit more bearable #tw transphobia mention

[sharlmbracta]

ok depression warning cw depression or something but am i the only one who feels like the world will die out by the time i become 30 or before that

#like nagging #like a constant reminder of what's evident #there has been a timer at the back of my mind since some point in time i can't remember #and given that the world isn't looking to getting any better (it's just getting worse and worse) .. yeah #cw rant #cw depression #no i am not diagnosed but i feel like this post would be in fair need of the cws #i already knew that nothing (like nothing nothing) actually matters so #but what's the point of moping over it if you've already did that a hundred times over #ehh #“the point of X is Y” yeah see that's one of the beliefs to make the stay a bit more bearable to you #also the points contradict itself by just looking at reality if you really think about it