#you will never know their pain and yet you still make decisions on their fate | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

luna-writes-stuff · 5 months

Text

Run To The Water, Lucifer

Song link

Fanfic, gn! reader (more OC, but no specific appearances/names/pronouns are mentioned!)

Fluff, reunion, lore-heavy

Word count: 3826

Tw: mention of injuries, constant lower back pain (because I know I’m not the only one who struggles with this), some a la Prometheus eternal punishment thing. Mutual longing, God is an asshole. I think I swore maybe two times? Again - more OC than reader, but not entirely so idk. Not proofread.

Summary: Before mankind, there were angels and there was you. But unlike the angels, you weren’t created by God’s hands, and he loathed you for it. He used you as an inspiration for humans before trying to get rid of you. Now, years later, your favourite angel is running free again. And he comes to seek you out.

Buy me a coffee/force me to write more

Oh, desert speak to my heart. Oh, woman of the earth. Maker of children who weep for love. Maker of this birth.”

In the beginning, before mankind and capitalism and whatnot, Earth was a simple run ground for god and his angels. They got to run haywire, create things, destroy things, whatever would ‘inspire’ God, as he had put it. He came to create light, life, death - everything. But through everything he had made and everything he had prided himself on, he had never created you. You came into existence long before the humans, from a source no one truly knew. He could have left you there to rot: something that wasn’t his. It was almost an insult. Yet something about you made him give in, caused him to offer you shelter where his angels would be safe.

And as much as he initially hated you, he saw something in him that his angels didn’t show him: inspiration for his greatest creation yet. He kept you close only leaving you around his four most trusted sons when he was away. It never felt like a prison to you.

It didn’t, until Adam and Eve were created.

As they set their first steps on Earth, you were approached by a group of angels, claiming they were there to ‘escort you out’. You had followed them, had it not been for Lucifer, and his distrust towards his siblings. God had seen your purpose fit - you had become his greatest inspiration, mankind; an improved version of you. Or that is what he had believed. You were not his creation, therefore did not deserve to set foot on his land. And after he had realised his greatest invention, it was time to get rid of ‘that which was left’.

“'Til your deepest secrets are known to me, I will not be moved. I will not be moved.”

Lucifer had helped you hide from his father and siblings, making sure you were safe as they scavenged the Earth. For years, this worked. Humans evolved - though slowly - and Lucifer’s temper had begun to grow significantly worse.

It was after only a handful of decades that you were finally found. In his act of cruelty, God made his favourite son execute his ‘dumbest decision’, still unaware of the fact that it had been Lucifer who had kept you hidden all these years. That is when he snapped. He belittled humans, claiming them to be a cheap copy of you - which had held truth in it - and needy. God forgot his first children just to be able to rule his new playthings.

It was that fateful day that had led to his downfall. He was cast down from Heaven, forced to live upon the place that housed the creatures he hated most. He tried to rule Hell for a while, making sure you had still been safe. Even after centuries of humans coming into existence, angels kept looking for you everywhere. And though the search had significantly faded over time, you knew that if you were to announce your presence, they’d try to get rid of you as quickly as they could.

Many had believed you had died in those years. Though not nearly ageing as quickly as humans, you surely couldn’t be immortal. The opposite was proven when the angels landed their attack on Lucifer. It was when you had finally been captured, that Lucifer’s strength slowly began to face, until he was banished to the cage.

Since then, he hadn’t known what had happened to you, nor where you had been. And in his eyes, that had been a worse punishment than being kept in a cage.

“Don't try to find the answer When there ain't no question here. Brother, let your heart be wounded And give no mercy to your fear.”

God couldn’t kill you - the weakling. Instead, he stripped you off all that made you divine, save for your ageing process. You were forced to stay on Earth and live out the rest of your eternal life without a branch of special on you. You were quick to find out God had kept angels in your street, keeping constant vigilance. If you were to even say the wrong thing, he’d know.

It took a long time for you to adjust to simply living on the streets as everyone did. You had to reinvent yourself a ton of times in order to keep up the facade of being a mortal woman. But after a while, you learned to maintain a normal job, pay bills (as God had so horribly intended), make new friends, watch them grow old and happy, then ‘die’ of a sudden cardiac arrest. And the cruellest of it all, was the fact you couldn’t die, even if you wanted to. God would find a way to bring you back.

An eternal punishment for simply existing.

“Adam and Eve live down the street from me. Babylon is every town. It's as crazy as it's ever been. Love's a stranger all around.”

It was late when you returned home from work. One of the cons of turning more mortal was the constant ache in your lower back, and your incapability to heal it. All you really wanted to do when you came home was fall into your bed and not get out for a long time.

The walk home was silent, but what caught you off-guard was the lack of eyes on you. For the first time in decades, you didn’t have the constant feeling of being watched. And it caused an unsettling shiver to run down your spine. Angels weren’t one to give up on their tasks - not without a significant threat. And if it had taken them out, you weren’t safe to begin with.

With a quicker pace, you walked onto your patio, your keys gripped tightly in your hands in case someone would try to sneak up on you. Unlocking the door, you walked in, immediately locking it behind you. A long sigh escaped you when you heard the satisfactory click.

Kicking your shoes off and hanging your coat over a chair, you waltzed towards the couch, falling down onto it with an obnoxious huff. You turned the tv on, staring at the screen blankly, the words not fully registering.

Somewhere, in the back of your mind, something told you you were not alone. And though that usually brought a terrifying chill, this seemed somewhat comfortable.

“In a moment we lost our minds here, And lay our spirit down. Today we lived a thousand years. All we have is now.”

You sat upright, now scanning the room more intently. From the corner of your eye, you could see something move in the kitchen, followed by a light amount of noise. Not turning the tv off, you carefully walked towards the source, turning your head around the corner first.

You didn’t recognise the man in the kitchen. You did, however, recognise the faint glow emanating from him. No human held that glow, not unless their body was being used by someone else.

The scrubbing on the jacket halted, and you now noticed the bloodstains on it. You frowned at the sight, then dropped your shoulders as you noticed the small pile of already red-stained towels. When the man turned around, you came face to face with him, and it suddenly began to click why the room had felt so comfortable.

“Lucifer?”

“Run to the water And find me there. Burnt to the core but not broken.”

“You’re alive,” he breathed, before dropping the towel and walking up to you, pulling you into his figure. You hesitantly returned the embrace, still half in shock of what had just happened. For years, you believed God had killed his son, leaving you alive in terrible mockery, but the opposite was proven now. And in his eyes, he believed you had died as well. He went out on a gut feeling and found exactly what he had been looking for.

When his hands tightened on your back, you finally yielded, vehemently returning the embrace, burying your head in his chest. “You’re alive,” He repeated, one of his hands trailing to your hair, running his hand through it softly, as if frightened that notion would break you.

As you parted, his eyes remained on you, trailing over your figure as if to properly observe you. “You haven’t changed at all,” He muttered, before he took you into his embrace again. “I thought you died,” You managed to whisper, your eyes glued to his wings that had now become apparent.

“The feeling is mutual,” He sighed, keeping you at arm’s length when you heard a car pass by. His eyes trailed to the window, an instant glare building on his face. “We need to get out of here. Don’t worry about the angels,” He spoke in one breath, before looking at you again. “I took care of them.” “I figured,” You nodded, still at loss for words.

“We'll cut through the madness Of these streets below the moon. These streets below the moon.”

Outside, you heard car doors open, followed by heavy footsteps, walking towards your porch. “Lucifer,” A gruff voice cut through the tense silence. On the other side of your kitchen stood another person, one you easily recognised as angel. You furrowed your eyes at him in anger, all too familiar with angels and the way they perceived you. You didn’t miss the slight smile on Lucifer’s face as he looked at the angel.

“Too late, little brother.”

And with that, the two of you had left your home, now suddenly in the middle of a forest. You looked around quickly, your stomach churning as the brief travel ended. Your knees buckled underneath you, your hands extending to break your fall. Nausea settled in you as you tried to regain your breath, remaining hunched over. Lucifer observed you from a distance, his hands in his pockets.

“So,” He began, his voice slightly uncomfortable. “You mortal now?” You looked over your shoulder, sparing him a mocking smile: “Consider it your father’s greatest gift.”

His eyebrows raised the words, silently cursing his father for your punishment. “At least he didn’t kill you.” “Bastard couldn’t do it,” You muttered. “Claimed I reminded him too much of you.” “He’s always so sentimental.” Lucifer agreed.

“And I will never leave you, 'Til we can say, this world was just a dream. We were sleepin', now we are awake 'Til we can say.”

When you remained on the floor, your breathing unsteady, the fallen angel walked towards you. He frowned lightly at the sight of your discomfort. “You okay?” A groan came from you as you tried to sit upright, pain shooting through your lower back. “Just peachy.”

Lucifer’s lips formed in a thin line, observing your figure. “Right,” He spoke sarcastically. Then, he reached down, holding his hands on your shoulder. When he didn’t do anything else, you looked at him confused. The angel seemed conflicted, looking at you as if he was expecting you to say or do anything. When you didn’t say anything, he took a step back: “I can’t heal you.”

You sighed at that. Naturally, God decided to screw you over even more. “Curse that asshole,” You mumbled on your breath, before clumsily rising to your feet again. When you stumbled slightly, Lucifer’s hands found your waist quickly, keeping you in place.

“I’m fine.” You objected, even though your hands were now holding onto his lower arms. “Yeah, no.” He deadpanned, keeping you steady. “How the mighty have fallen.” You looked up through your lashes as he spoke those words.

“Don’t remind me.”

“In a moment we lost our minds here And dreamt the world was round. A million miles fall from grace. Thank God we missed the ground.”

He looked down at you for a short second before the scenery changed again. That same nauseating feeling entered your stomach as you fell down on something soft. You groaned in pain, curling up, almost as if trying to protect yourself. For a second, you forgot you were around Heaven’s most wanted, and simply laid down, taking a moment to regain your posture.

“No, this is amazing.” You objected as you sat up, now seeing you had landed in some kind of fancy five-star hotel room. It was then that you noticed you had fallen onto a huge bed, the blankets shifting underneath you. You looked at Lucifer with questioning eyes, not understanding why you were suddenly somewhere else.

“Humans need rest.” He just spoke, sitting on a chair next to the bed. “I’ll be fine.” You disagreed, preparing to get off the bed. Before you could set a foot on the floor, Lucifer shook his head, grabbing a book from seemingly nowhere.

“No, you won’t,” He sighed. “I’ll just wait here, I guess.”

“Run to the water And find me there. Burnt to the core, but not broken.”

You simply stared at him. Only minutes ago you were still convinced of his death, well-adjusted to a simple mortal life. And without preparation, he had appeared in your kitchen and whisked you away to who knows where.

You blinked twice at the realisation. You thought he was dead for years. And there he sat, directly in front of you. As if nothing had happened. Noting your eyes still on him, Lucifer looked at you from his seat: “What?” “They told me you died,” You breathed. “I thought I would be the only one left at the end of time.”

He lowered his book upon your words, an unsure expression on his face. You began to grow concerned you might have said the wrong thing. Who knew what he had been through all those years? It mustn't have been easy for him either. “Thought I’d be locked in a cage forever,” He ultimately spoke, halting your concerns. “Had to go through daily torment of mentioning my fall and your death to me.”

Though he spoke in a sarcastic tone, you knew his words were genuine. And as him, you did your best to lighten the situation. You could feel the conflict and pain radiating off of him, but you weren’t going to mention it to him. Not now. Instead, you spoke: “Guess our deaths were a little exaggerated.”

“We'll cut through the madness Of these streets below the moon. With a nuclear fire of love in our hearts.”

“Well, at least there’s still one good thing in this world.” He shrugged, and you couldn’t help but smile at his words, a heartfelt expression crossing your features. At your face, Lucifer slowly shook his, holding his hands up: “No. Forget I said anything,” Pointing towards your smiling figure, he gave you an accusing look. “That was a moment of weakness.”

You didn’t tease him about it. Perhaps later you would mention it again. For now, you just enjoyed his presence, his stupid remarks something you had missed for a very long time. When your smile finally faded, Lucifer just looked at you, his expression relatively neutral, even though you could feel the fondness in his gaze. Be that as it may, the words he spoke weren’t fond in any way. If anything, they had caught you off-guard.

“I’m gonna burn this place down. Restart the world in my image.” Ah yes, the infamous Apocalypse. Of course, you couldn’t forget about that. It was foretold. If anything, you had an idea the angels were planning something for a while now. They had begun to grow more secretive and silent over the last few months. You first thought they had started losing interest in you, but that had not been the case. They were simply preparing for a rematch with Lucifer.

You couldn’t help but understand his views, especially considering what the both of you had gone through in your history. Though your views hadn’t always been the same, you wanted to be at his side. It was the safest you had ever been, nor would ever be.

“Yeah, I can see it now, Lord Out beyond all the breakin' of waves And the tribulation.”

“What would that be?” You asked, to which Lucifer nonchalantly shrugged. “Less humans, more lightsabers.” Though he seemed fond of that idea, you didn’t laugh at it. “Maybe I’ll just wipe this world off the map. We could run to a remote planet.”

You couldn’t help but remain silent at his words, just staring at him, not sure what to do or say. And he had noticed, an oblivious ‘what’ coming out of his mouth. You blinked twice, forcing yourself back to reality. “I’ve spent lifetimes here now,” You answered, your voice much more gentle than you had intended. “I don’t know, there’s good things here too.”

He raised his eyebrows at your statement, testing your words. “Like what?” You shrugged. “I really like dogs.” “We can keep the dogs.” He quickly added, but so did you: “Music is pleasant.” “I’ll find a way.” He continued, to which you groaned in objection.

“Lucifer, humans aren’t evil.” “They’re a faulty copy of you!” He returned angrily. Not at you, but at his father. For daring to mock you in such a brutal way. For the way he wanted to get rid of you once he copied you to make his own creation. “A cheap replication.” He continued to rant. “I don’t want cheap replications when I can have the real thing.”

“It's a place and the home of ascended souls Who swam out there in love.”

“Thank you,” You whispered, unsure of what to answer, but you knew compliments were hard to come by from him. Even though that was true, you couldn’t help but already feel remorseful for losing the life you had known so well for the last few years. Sure, it had been torture for you, but all good moments came from humanity.

“I know the apocalypse is inevitable,” You tried to persuade, laying back down onto the bed. “But think it over.” With that, you turned around, facing your back to him.

“Think it over?” Lucifer repeated incredulously. “Humans are terrible! Have you not caught up with history of the last few years?” “I’ve lived it.” You called over your shoulder, not mad at him. In fact, you had grown kind of disappointed and sad upon the thought of humanity fading from existence. You knew Lucifer could actually do it if he really put the effort into it. “Humans aren’t inherently evil,” You went on. “If I remember correctly, it were the angels who wanted to kill everything.”

He was silent for a moment. Longer than you were used from him. You started to wonder if he might have left. Surely, he wouldn’t have done that.

“Run to the water And find me there. Burnt to the core, but not broken.”

“And that’s why they’ll go too.” He suddenly spoke, now laying next to you on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. You let out of quiet sigh of relief upon his figure, scooting closer to him, but not enough to touch him just yet.

“And live in a world with just the two of us?” You tested. “Wouldn’t that grow…tedious?” You trailed off slightly, knowing you could speak your mind in front of the devil without risking him smiting you. Yet, it felt as if you were cursing him whilst he was directly in front of you.

“Tedious?” He echoed, chuckling as his head turned to face yours, silently assuring you he wasn’t insulted at all. In fact, it had entertained him slightly. You returned his smile, a light feeling entering your stomach upon finally seeing his joy again.

You remained laying there for a second, bathing in the glee of simply having you with him. The feeling seemed mutual, as you watched one of his wings wrap around your figure, pulling you against his body whilst his wing remained draped over you. His arm pulled you into his side, his hand coming to a rest on your side.

His touch was cold, though welcomed. You figured hell must have done a number on him - he had never been cold to touch before.

“We'll cut through the madness Of these streets below the moon. With a nuclear fire of love in our hearts.”

“Well,” He started, thinking out loud. “I could take over Heaven. Rule the string puppets from up there.” You placed your hand on his chest in agreement, a smile crossing your features as you pictured the demise of the angels who have taunted you and haunted you for centuries: “I am all for taking Heaven over.”

The angel chuckled at your comment, rubbing your skin in repeating patterns. “I know you are.”

Then, a second silence struck the pair of you, this one more comfortable, void of any tension of disagreement. The breathing of his chest was a soothing notion for you, all nausea from earlier now finally fading away. The ache in your lower back seemed to calm down slightly on the soft mattress. You silently wondered if Lucifer had felt it when he tried to heal you and got you something that would help with it.

“I’ve missed you so much,” He sighed, slight melancholy in the tone of his voice. “No one else will pay attention to me.” “You egocentric bastard,” You joked, getting comfortable in his arms.

“I missed you too, Lucifer.”

“Rest easy baby, rest easy. And recognize it all as light and rainbows, Smashed to smithereens and be happy.”

Perhaps it had been due to the adrenaline wearing off, you finally being in his arms again, or the fact that you simply had a very tiring day, but your eyelids grew heavier with every breath you took. Falling asleep in your earlier surroundings had always been difficult for you: angels were watching your every move. It was hard to feel safe under the gaze of those who swore to kill you not too long ago.

However, for the first time in a very long time, you finally felt safe. The familiar feeling of his heavy wing draped around you and his looming presence seemed to bring some special sense of comfort that you had longed for for so long.

And thus, Lucifer would spend the rest of the night in his new vessel, staring up at the ceiling for hours on end, not moving, just for you to get a healthy amount of sleep. Talking could happen later, and he had all the time in the world. His siblings wouldn’t find him. Not if he didn’t want to be found. And now, he wanted nothing more than to simply be forgotten by them and remain there.

Right there at that exact moment, he felt peace - something that he hadn’t felt in a long time, and wouldn’t feel again not much later.

“Run to the water. Run to the water.”

#November writings 2023 #spn #supernatural #lucifer #spn lucifer #lucifer spn #lucifer x reader #spn lucifer x reader

82 notes · View notes

erin-bo-berin · 1 year

Text

Trust In Me

L&D Nurse Steve Harrington x SingleMom!Reader

Warnings: Heated Makeout (later on in the fic)

Part 1: By Your Side

MASTERLIST

Thank you again to @keeryswiftie for all the help you provided with this. From filling plot holes to helping with the medical stuff. 💕

Trust.

It’s a hard thing to give to someone when you’ve lost all hope in others, when you’ve had a person break it, shred it and throw it back in your face.

It often took time to rebuild someone’s trust.

Steve Harrington knew he was dealing with a fragile creature in Y/N. She was someone that life had seemed to chew up and spit out, yet she’d been strong enough to bring her baby girl, Hope, into the world nearly two months ago.

Hope had brought him and her together and quite literally given her hope.

Steve hoped and was determined to do all he could as he continued to spend more time with her.

For all he wanted to do was to give her the gift of trust again.

•

Two Months Old

The first month of Hope’s life seemed to pass in a blur of sleep deprivation. One day had bled into another as you’d tried hard to be the best mother you could be.

Most days, you didn’t get out of your pajamas, all your energy focused on keeping the tiny newborn that depended on you for everything, alive.

It wasn’t until you’d really looked at the calendar one day that you’d realized it had been almost a month since you’d given birth. You hadn’t once used the number Steve had left you. Not only because of apprehension, but because you had been so preoccupied with Hope that you’d forgotten about it all together.

You hadn’t forgotten about Steve though. He’d always stayed at the back of your mind that entire first four weeks, even though you didn’t seem to consciously know it. That’s what led you to the hospital on that fateful night, hoping he wouldn’t refuse to see you.

It had turned out to be the best decision you could’ve made.

Now, a month later, you’d both fallen into an easy sort of routine. You’d made it clear that it was friendship you wanted as you’d missed the companionship of others. It hadn’t been until Hope was born that you realized just how truly lonely you’d become.

You’d mentally promised yourself to take it slow with Steve. Besides, he was just a friend anyways. One who you just happened to enjoy spending time with.

Due to his unusual work schedule, he was either sleeping most of the day or working all night, but within the last month, you’d both started meeting up a few times a week for dinner before his shift, which is where you currently were.

You stifled another yawn as you reached for your drink to take a sip.

Steve sat on the opposite side of the booth, Hope in his arms. He always insisted in helping you when he was around. You hated feeling like you were taking advantage of him, but he was so sweet about it you truly couldn’t refuse.

He held her with one arm, balancing the bottle with his chin as his other hand held his fork, bringing another bite of his spaghetti to his mouth.

It honestly amazed you how good he was with her, especially in times like this. You practically gaped at him as he managed to hold her, feed her and eat at the same time.

You really needed to learn how to do that.

“Are you getting enough sleep?” he asked, concerned.

He was always checking up on you and Hope. Making sure you were eating, sleeping and that everything was okay with Hope. The first few weeks after you’d started spending time together, he constantly inquired on how you were healing after birth or if there was still any pain, unable to turn the nurse part of him off.

To anyone else, it would probably be annoying, but you couldn’t help but realize how nice it was to know you had someone who cared enough to ask. So you never complained. Besides, you knew it came from a good place. That was just how Steve was.

“Not really,” you grimaced, “I catch naps here and there.”

He frowned.

“Is she still crying all night?”

You mentally cursed yourself as you felt your own tears suddenly filling your eyes. You scrubbed your hands over your eyes, trying to get them to disappear.

You know it’s because you’re overtired, stressed and due to the hormones that were still attempting to return to normal post-pregnancy. Basically, normal postpartum stuff.

But still, it was hard.

You willed your voice not to tremble when you finally spoke.

“Yeah. Some nights are better than others. But I don’t know what to do,” your voice broke at the end, causing you to pause and try to swallow the lump of emotion in your throat, “I’ll change her, try to feed her, sing to her, rock her, walk with her, make sure she’s not too hot or too cold and nothing works.”

Steve looked sympathetic as he watched as you broke down in front of him. Of course, by this point, your tears weren’t anything unusual. Not counting the few times you’d cried during labor, he’d already witnessed you cry a handful of times. Especially lately as you’d struggled with Hope not sleeping very well.

“Sometimes, there’s nothing you can do.”

Steve spoke gently, setting down his fork and reaching across the table to rub your arm that leaned against the edge of the table, in comfort and understanding.

“I feel like an awful mother though,” you admitted, “I hate hearing her cry and not being able to do anything. Plus I’m so tired I usually end up crying with her because she won’t sleep.”

“It can be rough, I understand.”

Your heart twisted at the look of concern on his face. Some days, you still couldn’t believe you’d been fortunate enough to meet such a kind person like Steve, one that cared so much about you and your daughter.

“I know it might not help much, but you’re not the only one to go through this. Hope isn’t just an unusually stubborn baby. Many mothers struggle during the first few months, some even longer. But I want you to know that it doesn’t stay like this forever, okay? This too shall pass and will only be a distant memory.”

His hand found yours and gave it a gentle squeeze, not unlike how he did when you were in labor.

“That does help a little,” you smiled a bit, tears subsiding for the moment.

“Have you tried the 5 S’s?” he questioned.

“The what now?”

He chuckled at your confusion.

“The 5 S’s. Swaddle, Side/Stomach, Shushing, Swinging and Sucking.”

“Um, I’ve tried a few of those? Am I supposed to do it all at once?”

Steve never judged you for any silly questions you might have, nor did he belittle you. He just simply helped and taught you, like he was currently doing.

You knew so little about newborns and all of this felt so foreign to you sometimes that you were constantly glad to have Steve in your corner. He set down the bottle that Hope had just finished before shifting her in his arms to burp her. He grabbed a napkin from the dispenser on the table and put it on his shoulder as a makeshift burp rag then laid her gently against his shoulder, one hand supporting her head and neck, the other patting her back firmly.

“Okay, so. Swaddling the baby helps mimic the feeling of safety and snugness like they felt in the womb. Side or stomach position is holding them on their stomachs or side or even against your shoulder like this,” he motioned with his head to Hope on his shoulder before continuing.

“Shushing is pretty much self explanatory, where you’re making a soft “shhh” sound or you can even use a white noise machine. Those sounds usually remind newborns of the sounds they used to hear in the womb. Swinging, you’re gonna want to do a bit more like jiggling in a way. It’s like short, fast movements. Rocking is great to keep a calm baby calm, but when they’re upset, it’s easier to calm them down with a bit more movement. Think of it this way, they’re jostling and bumping around for nine months in the womb right?”

You nodded, paying attention and making sure to remember all of Steve’s sage advice.

“Well all that rocking and rolling—if you will—” here, he gave you a grin, clearly proud of his joke, “Is soothing to baby. They’re the harsher movements of mother doing stuff like walking, going down stairs, pretty much anything. You can also use the swing for this too. You have that one we picked out at the yard sale for her last week.”

“I haven’t gotten around to using it yet,” you admitted, embarrassed.

“Well maybe it won’t hurt to give it a go,” Steve said.

“What’s the final S again?”

“Sucking. Whether she’s sucking on a pacifier or uh, your breast, like if you try to feed her.”

For his sake, you ignored how his cheeks seemed to flame when he mentioned your breasts. Besides, it was entirely possible that no matter how long he’d been a nurse, it might still be a bit awkward talking about a woman’s breasts or vaginas to them.

Just then Hope let out a big burp, cooing happily now that her stomach felt better.

“Oh that was a big burp! Do you feel better now, sweetheart?” Steve baby talked to her, wiping her chin of any spit up.

He settled her against his chest as she whined, squirming a little.

“It just sounds like she’s overtired from not sleeping at night,” Steve said, continuing your conversation from before, “You don’t necessarily have to do all 5 S’s at once, maybe try two or three at a time. It takes some trial and error, but something is bound to work. She’ll eventually start to sleep again and so will you.”

You watched as your daughter’s movements became fewer and far between as she settled against Steve’s chest and began to drift off.

A part of you felt oddly jealous, but you chalked it up to the fact that Hope was able to sleep anywhere and anytime she pleased, unlike you.

“I sure hope so,” you sighed, “I don’t know how you get her to sleep so easily. Usually it takes a feeding, diaper change, her fighting sleep and then she falls asleep. It’s like you have the magic touch.”

Steve grinned, peering down at the peaceful Hope on his chest.

Today, the pair of scrubs he donned were a light blue and he wore the glasses you’d seen folded on the neckline of his shirt the first time you’d met him. They made him look different. Not a bad different though, just different. You liked them.

Her tiny fist had clenched the material of the top, pulling the neckline down enough to expose a sliver of dark chest hair that you’d never seen before. Your eyes trained on it before flitting away, back to his face.

“Perks of the job,” he lamented, “I’ve held quite a lot of babies in two years.”

“Maybe she somehow knows you’re an expert,” you teased, causing him to laugh.

This was often how you and Steve spent your numerous dinner meet ups. Most of it would be spent talking about Hope, at least lately, but you’d also talk about other things. His work, your work—you’d mentioned how lucky you were to have been able to have 4 months off since the office you worked at had hired a temporary receptionist in your place. Sometimes you talked about life, sometimes you talked about nothing of importance at all, like the weather or what movies were currently playing. What mattered though was that for the first time in a long time, it felt like you truly had a friend.

Steve had just finished his plate of food—all while still holding a sleeping baby might you add—when he glanced at his watch.

“I really better get going,” he said apologetically.

You felt a sinking in your chest, hating that you had to say goodbye to him already. It wasn’t the loneliness that made you sad to see him go, but more the fact that you enjoyed his company so much.

“Of course,” you said, sliding out of the booth and coming over to his side to retrieve Hope, “I can’t be the cause of crushing expectant mother’s hopes and dreams by making their favorite nurse late.”

He laughed sarcastically at your joke, but good naturedly.

“You’ll never get tired of teasing me about that, will you?”

“Nope,” you beamed at him, taking Hope carefully from his arms.

She stirred with a small whimper and you shushed her quietly, setting her against your shoulder as you reached for the carrier you’d put closest to the wall on your side of the booth. Scooting it closer to the edge of the bench, you settled her into it as easily as you could before turning to Steve to tell him bye.

“Hope you have a good shift,” you told him, as he stood, grabbing his coat, bag and the check.

“Hey, wait!” you tried to grab it from him, but he held it out of your reach.

“Don’t worry, I got it,” he smiled, “I know you’re not working right now, so just let me do this, okay?”

You made a face, though you weren’t really mad at him.

“You’re lucky I like you.”

“How can you not? I’m the favorite nurse, after all,” he smirked.

You rolled your eyes playfully at him.

“Same time for dinner again on Monday?” you asked.

“You know it,” Steve smiled, giving you a hug, “Bye Hopey.”

He gently tickled her foot and she jerked it away, even in her sleep making you both laugh.

He put the bag on his shoulder, his coat thrown over it and gave you a wave, calling over his shoulder as he headed to the front to pay.

“See you Monday!”

•

Three Months Old

“I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“Steve, this child is awake at 6 am ready for breakfast, do you really think you woke me?” you answered with a laugh.

“Just checking,” he said, though you could hear the smile in his voice.

In recent weeks, along with your three dinners a week, you and Steve tended to talk on the phone every morning as well. You had to admit, it was nice being able to hear from him, especially on the days you weren’t able to see him.

Ironically, it had started by accident.

One morning, after his shift, he was unable to fall asleep after drinking way too much coffee to stay awake the night before, so he’d ended up calling you.

The chat only lasted about ten minutes before you’d heard the rhythmic sound of his breathing, indicating he’d fallen asleep mid-conversation. You’d hung up with a smile, happy to have helped him unwind.

Now, he called every morning after his shift, before he fell asleep. He’d jokingly started calling it his bedtime routine.

Even though your schedules were completely different, you were typically awake anyways since Hope was up and ready to be fed by the crack of dawn anyways.

“How is the little mother sucker anyways?”

“Steve!” you exclaimed, unable to mask the bark of laughter that came from your mouth.

“What?”

You heard his deep laughter come from the other end of the line.

“I can’t believe you just called her that,” you said, exasperated.

“Well, I assume she’s still breast feeding right?”

You didn’t even have to be in front of him to know his brow was raised with the question.

“She is,” you sighed, knowing you weren’t going to win this one.

“So technically she is a mother sucker.”

“Hawkins’ favorite Labor and Delivery nurse, everybody,” you intoned sarcastically.

You looked over at Hope where she was sleeping soundly on the opposite side of your bed. You’d carefully arranged a laughable amount of pillows around her, but you didn’t want to take any chances.

“She sleeping better now?” Steve inquired.

“Mhm,” you answered, “It’s amazing how much changes in just four weeks. I didn’t think I’d ever get through those first two months.”

“But you did.”

You heard the pride in Steve’s voice and you forced yourself to tamp down the glowing feeling that blossomed in your chest. After all, he was just probably glad that you and Hope, being former patients and his friends were doing good.

“I did,” you confirmed, “But she’s growing way too fast. It’s like I simultaneously want these hard stages to be over fast, but don’t want her to grow too fast.”

“Babies sure don’t keep, that’s for sure,” Steve replied.

“Okay now you sound like Brenda.”

Steve often told you about his co-workers, one of them being the middle aged and almost grandmotherly, Brenda, who worked in the nursery. He always had funny stories to tell about things she’d said. One of your favorites was the time she’d said she was positive there’d one day be a group of mothers petitioning for a mural of his face in the hospital lobby. It’d made you laugh until you quite literally peed your pants—another part of postpartum that wasn’t too fun.

“I never realized how true it was until I started seeing Hope grow before my eyes.”

“I know. Remember that baby book you got me to read? That little scrunchy thing she used to do with her feet when I picked her up as a newborn, she doesn’t do anymore. I almost cried when I first noticed it.”

“Oh yeah because usually the first month they’re still getting used to being in the world and they still have the memory of being scrunched in the womb. But then over time they learn they can stretch their feet and legs out so they no longer scrunch.”

“You know, you’re basically a walking version of that book,” you said.

“Hey, I passed all my classes and the information stuck, okay? Sue me,” Steve joked.

“So, tell me, is it normal for my boobs to hurt sometimes? I know they’re swollen and huge with milk right now, but sometimes they’re so sensitive to the point if anything even brushes my nipple it’s painful.”

You heard a coughing, choke-like sound coming from his side of the phone conversation.

“Oh God, I’m sorry. That’s probably so awkward for you to hear. I sometimes forget I don’t have any girlfriends to talk about this with. Ignore that.”

“No, it’s okay,” Steve managed to stammer out.

He was incredibly grateful that she couldn’t see him at the moment because he was positive his face was beet red. That and other, lower parts of him had stirred to attention.

He was a man after all.

“I probably just made things so weird,” you chuckled uncomfortably, “You don’t have to answer that.”

“No, it’s a legitimate question,” he answered, attempting to keep his voice from sounding unaffected, unlike how he was truly feeling, “It’s pretty normal. Just keep an eye on it and make sure you’re not getting an infection—or what’s called mastitis. When a milk duct becomes clogged and causes an infection. If they’re not warm to the touch, red or painfully swollen then it might just be that you just need to pump or feed more. Your body just might be producing more milk than you need right now and that’s what’s causing them to be so swollen and tender.”

God help him, this conversation might just kill him if he didn’t move on from the subject of her breasts quickly.

“So you mentioned that she’s been recognizing your voice lately?”

Steve was relieved when she immediately picked up with an adorable story about how Hope had begun to smile lately.

He really had to remember to keep his priorities in check.

•

Four Months Old

You couldn’t believe your maternity leave was finally up.

Hope had turned four months old last Friday and you were to return to work on Monday morning.

You’d had to hire a babysitter. A woman in her late 40’s you’d interviewed and met with a few times now had been your choice candidate. You trusted her, especially since she had years of experience. She’d babysat since she was a preteen, had two kids of her own when she was still pretty young and now, finding herself an empty nester, she’d wanted to return to childcare.

Mrs. Jones seemed like a kind, caring and definitely trustworthy babysitter. But it wasn’t her that caused you to worry. It would be your first time leaving Hope for any amount of time and you weren’t sure you were ready for the separation anxiety you were already feeling. But, if you were going to support yourself and Hope, you had no choice but to work.

It didn’t help that Hope was growing so fast. She already could roll over, hold her head and neck up during tummy time and was starting to truly babble. It felt like she was growing so quickly, you were afraid to miss something important in just the span of a work day.

Steve, knowing your apprehension about returning to work had planned a rare weekend before shift dinner with you at the diner you three often frequented. You’d been relieved to know that you’d have some sort of distraction for a least an hour or so.

But, when you’d arrived at the diner earlier that evening, Steve hadn’t been there.

After waiting with Hope for a full hour and half, feeding her her dinner and eating a sandwich yourself, you’d finally packed up and headed home.

You’d been worried about him, knowing it wasn’t like him to miss a dinner. When you’d gotten back home and gotten Hope settled in her swing next to your bed, you’d called Steve, hoping everything was alright. Even if he didn’t answer, you’d planned on leaving a message, letting him know you were concerned.

“Hello?”

A groggy sounding Steve answered the phone and you glanced at your clock radio to check the time. It was only after 9 pm in the evening. Normally, he’d be at work.

“Steve? Why are you at home? Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“I was sleeping,” he yawned.

“Shit. I’m sorry. Are you sick? I got worried when you didn’t show up to the diner earlier.”

“Fuck. I must’ve slept through it.”

“It’s okay,” you frowned, “But I wish you would’ve called to let me know you weren’t coming. I was worried something bad had happened to you or—”

Steve was exhausted and didn’t take a moment to think about the words that flew out of his mouth before he voiced them.

“I can’t be at your beck and call every minute, Y/N, I have a job that keeps me busy too, you know,” he snapped.

You flinched at his tone, falling quiet. You hadn’t meant to upset him.

He sat up in bed, rubbing a hand over his face. Glancing at his own bedside clock, he saw he’d only been asleep for a few hours.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you, that wasn’t fair. I’m the one that tries to help you as much as I can and I know you don’t depend on me. It’s just been a shitty 24 hours. I had to work both the day shift and my usual shift because the usual day shift nurse was sick and they couldn’t get anyone to cover. Plus it was a full moon and I swear half of Indiana was in Hawkins’ hospital having babies.”

“Oh Steve,” you said, frown deepening, feeling awful for him, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have bothered you. I just wanted to make sure you’re alright. I’ll let you go so you can sleep now.”

“No, I don’t want you to hang up mad at me,” Steve said, feeling a bit too vulnerable admitting that, “I really am sorry. I shouldn’t have taken my shitty mood out on you.”

“I understand,” you said, genuinely, “I’m not mad. Get some sleep.”

What Steve didn’t want to admit, even to himself, is how just hearing her voice was slowly melting the bad mood and the accompanying tension from his body. He promised himself he’d get some sleep…but in a minute. Just to hear her voice a little longer.

“I will in a minute. I’m sorry for missing our dinner. Are you still nervous about tomorrow?”

You bit your lip, watching Hope swing in the baby swing. She was content, sucking on her pacifier, but you could see her eyes drooping and knew she was going to be down for the night, soon.

“Yeah. It’s nothing against Mrs. Jones though. She sounds incredible and I’m sure she’ll be wonderful with Hope. I’m just not ready for that feeling of loss when I’m not with her,” you admitted.

Steve laid back against his pillows, cradling the phone receiver between his shoulder and ear as he pulled the covers back over himself.

“That’s to be expected,” he said, “You haven’t had to leave her until now.”

“I know. I just wish I could take her with me though. I already miss her so much and I haven’t even left yet.”

“Tell you what,” Steve said, “I have tomorrow off since I just pulled a double. Why don’t you call me on your lunch break? It might help keep your mind busy.”

“That would help, thanks,” you smiled, “But you’re right, I’m just being a sissy about this.”

“Hey, I never said that,” he chuckled.

“No, you didn’t. But I know I am. I have to make money for us to survive somehow. I just hope it’ll get easier.”

“It will,” Steve said softly in your ear, “It never seems like it at the time, but I promise you will.”

The sincerity in his words calmed you more than you could even express.

Sneaking another peek at Hope, you saw your daughter fast asleep. You knew you needed to get her out of the swing and put her into her crib before you turned in for the night, yourself.

“I’ll let you go,” you said, just as quietly, “Thank you for helping.”

“Anytime,” he promised.

“Goodnight, Steve.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

•

Five Months Old

Loud cries pierced your ears as you walked with Hope, gently bouncing her in attempt to calm her.

You were beginning to feel hopeless as nothing you’d done had been able to calm her. She hadn’t cried this much since being a newborn, back when she wouldn’t sleep.

“Come on honey, please,” you begged her, rubbing her back while you bounced, “I wish I knew what was bothering you.”

You knew she was teething, but even a frozen teething ring wasn’t helping at this point. Sighing, you placed her on the changing table, knowing you needed to change her again after feeling her fill her diaper moments before.

You frowned as you cleaned her up, noticing she seemed be suffering from diarrhea. You didn’t know if her tummy bothering her was what was making her fussy or what.

Making quick work of the diaper change, you scooped her up, her face bright red from all her screaming.

“Sweetie, please calm down. You’re going to make yourself sick.”

As if on cue, you felt a warmth spreading down the front of your shirt as she threw up on you. She continued to cry and your heart clenched, hurting for her. You didn’t even care that you were covered in her puke, you just wanted her to be okay.

You settled her temporarily with a fresh, cool teething toy, causing her cries to dwindle to whimpers as you laid her on the bed. You managed to clean her up with a baby wipe and quickly changed shirts while you had a moment of respite.

You were growing more worried about her, especially when you felt her flushed cheeks and they felt warm. You carried her to the bathroom, grabbing the special baby thermometer that went into the ear—one Steve had helped you pick out—and inserted it into her ear.

Of course, with your luck, that only set her off again. She dropped the teething toy, beginning to wail again. You felt your heart drop when you saw the read of 100.5 degrees.

Her wails had increased in volume again and you felt yourself panicking, not knowing what to do. You’d promised yourself you wouldn’t bother Steve in a crisis—you didn’t want to have to rely on him all the time—but you felt desperate.

Holding her against your shoulder, you raced to the phone on your bedside table, picking it up and dialing Steve’s number from memory. It was a task you’d done many times before and it was as if your fingers could punch in the numbers without giving any thought to it. In this moment, that was practically the case, with your concern for Hope weighing your mind and her cries of anguish ringing your ears, distracting you.

“Hello?”

“Steve, I’m so sorry to bother you, I know it’s your day off, but I don’t know what else to do.”

“Okay, okay, slow down,” Steve instructed, “What’s going on? Is Hope alright? I can hear her crying.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong. I know she’s teething, but I don’t know if she’s sick or her stomach’s bothering her or what. She won’t stop crying and she just threw up from crying so much. I don’t know what to do, Steve.”

Your own tears started falling as your concern and desperation bled into one.

“What’s your address? I’ll be right over, alright? Everything will be okay.”

You rattled off your address gratefully and thanked him before hanging up.

“It’s okay, Hope,” you said, resting your chin against her head as you attempted to rock with her.

You repeated Steve’s words to her, as much to soothe her as yourself.

“Everything will be okay.”

•

It only took Steve ten minutes to arrive. You didn’t even have to ask to know he most likely broke the speed limit to get there so quick.

Any other time, you would feel vulnerable at the realization that this was the first time he’d actually been in your home. You weren’t ashamed of it, but it was a rather small apartment that hardly seemed to stay tidy anymore with a baby around. It was just more intimate than you two had ever been.

Of course, those were the thoughts you’d be having if these were normal circumstances. Currently, all you cared about was Hope and helping her since you were at your wit’s end.

It was strange to see him out of his nurse’s scrubs. You had typically hung out with him either before or after a shift at the hospital, sometimes even visited him during his lunch break—turned out colicky babies liked car rides in the middle of the night, hence some late night hospital visits to see Steve.

Now, he was dressed in Levi’s and a polo, his hair tousled like he’d dressed in a hurry. You really hoped you hadn’t pulled him away from anything important.

He had a pharmacy bag in his hand that he set down on the couch when he walked in.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

It made you feel a bit better to see him as concerned for her as you felt.

“She’s running a fever, has diarrhea, won’t stop crying and like I said, she threw up from crying so much.”

He frowned, holding his arms out to take her from you.

“What’s going on, princess? Come to Steve.”

He took her in his arms, though she still continued to fuss.

“How high was her temperature?”

“100.5,” you answered.

He nodded.

“I got some liquid Tylenol for her to take for the pain. Can you go put a damp wash cloth in the freezer for about ten minutes? In the meantime, does she have any cold teething toys?”

When you answered with your own nod, he instructed you to retrieve it. You brought it back to him and went off to put the washcloth in the freezer.

When you’d returned to the living room, you noticed it was quieter, her wails having subsided significantly. Hope held the frozen teething ring in one hand, gnawing on it while Steve walked back and forth across your living room floor, murmuring to her softly.

“Is she alright? Is she going to be okay?”

“Yeah. She’s not sick, she’s just having symptoms of teething, the poor thing. I think she just got sick from crying too much, like you said. I took a peek before I gave her the teething ring and her bottom gums are pretty red and irritated, so a tooth or two are trying to break through. I wanted to calm her down some before we gave her any Tylenol. I didn’t want her choking on it.”

You nodded, sitting down on the couch.

“That’s smart. What’s the cloth for?”

“Sometimes babies like to gnaw on something cool and a bit rougher in texture to soothe their sore gums. It should help relieve some of the irritation along with the Tylenol.”

You let out a sigh of relief, unable to hide how concerned you were.

“Thank you Steve. You’re a lifesaver.”

He gave a wry smile in your direction, one that made your stomach flip.

“Isn’t that what I’m for?”

•

Six Months Old

“Are all mothers generally this nervous before a check up like this?”

Your knee was bouncing as you and Steve waited in the pediatrician’s waiting room for Hope’s six month check up.

Steve reached over, putting a hand on your knee only to still it as he gave you a look.

“Well considering I’m a Labor and Delivery nurse and not a pediatric nurse, I can’t honestly say. But I’m sure you’re not the only one. Any mother would hate to see their baby cry because of shots.”

“I’m dreading it,” you frowned, “I hate hearing her cry.”

“That’s just your mommy instinct kicking in,” he grinned.

Knowing how nervous you were about Hope’s six month shots, Steve had offered to come to the doctor’s appointment with you for support. No way could you have turned him down because even though you didn’t want to admit it to yourself, you wanted him to be there.

When you were called back, Steve carried Hope in her carrier back for you as the appointment began. The nurse weighed her, took her measurements and declared she was right on track for her age. While you waited for the doctor, Hope sat in Steve’s lap while he played with her.

“I can’t believe you’re 12 pounds now, kiddo!” he said to her, lifting her up and down in the air, making her squeal with laughter, “Stop growing so fast!”

Hope giggled, her fist in her mouth as she gave him a big grin. Two white teeth were exposed when she smiled now.

“Look at those teeth, mommy,” Steve baby talked to Hope, “Those pesky little teeth gave you a rough time for a little bit there, didn’t they?”

You were relieved when one day, the two bottom teeth finally emerged from her gums, seemingly out of nowhere. She still had days when she was a bit more cranky or clingy because of teething, but nothing as bad as with those first two teeth.

“Muh muh muh muh,” Hope babbled.

“Has she said mama yet?” Steve asked, setting her back in his lap, looking over at you.

“Not yet. She’s been doing a lot of that and other babbling. It’s like she’s got the first part of mama down, but can’t seem to put it together,” you chuckled.

“Give her time. She’s a smart little girl. I have a feeling she’ll be saying her first word soon,” he grinned.

The conversation was cut short when the pediatrician walked in, ready to asses Hope.

After doing a complete physical, asking about her eating, sleeping and development, he’d declared she was a perfectly healthy, right on track baby.

Then came the part you’d been dreading most. While still only in her diaper, you followed the doctor’s instructions to lay her down on the table. Steve helped you hold her still while you both tried to distract her from what was to come.

The first shot was in and out before Hope registered what had happened, but she seemed to have a delayed reaction as she burst into tears.

Your heart broke hearing your baby’s cries, even though you knew it would be over in a moment. All you wanted to do was scoop her up and comfort her.

“I know baby girl, it’s no fun,” Steve talked to her, running a hand over her hair.

It had gotten longer now, long enough for you to put a bow in it now—though she didn’t really tolerate that for long.

“It’s okay. Me and mommy are here,” he continued talking to her as she howled through the rest of the shots.

“Okay. All done, mommy. You can hold her now,” the pediatrician said with a gentle smile.

You did just that, holding her close to you, cradling her head in your hand as you bounced with her, soothing her.

The doctor left, letting you know the receptionist would be ready to schedule Hope’s next appointment when you got her calmed and dressed. You thanked him and returned your attention to Hope, noticing she had calmed more quickly than expected.

You turned around, looking behind you to see Steve had been making silly faces at her, capturing her attention. You laughed, amused while he just shrugged.

“Figured it couldn’t hurt,” he said.

Since she was no longer crying, you redressed her, letting her sit on the table as you buttoned up her onesie. You were about to pick her up when she reached her arms out in Steve’s direction.

Along with other milestones like her teeth breaking through, six months had brought the introduction to solid food, the ability to sit without any assistance and reaching to be picked up.

“Aww, you want Steve to hold you?” he chuckled, picking her up.

Then, sure as the world, she looked up at his face and uttered her first word.

“Da da.”

You froze, gaze flying to Steve’s.

Turned out, Steve had been right when he’d said that she’d say her first word soon. It just happened to be one that neither of you had expected.

Well, shit.

•

Seven Months Old

“So you’re telling me the kid’s first word was dada? And she called you dada?”

“No, Kelly. She called the doctor dada,” Steve huffed to his friend.

“Hey don’t bite my head off. I just think it was sort of inevitable,” she shrugged, tossing him a glance.

“How so?”

Kelly gave him a deadpan stare.

“Seriously? You’ve spent a lot of time with her, Steve. As far as I can tell, you’re the only male presence in Hope’s life so of course she was bound to think you’re her daddy.”

He groaned, running his hands through his hair.

“What did Y/N say about it?” she asked.

“Nothing. I mean she corrected Hope and told her that I wasn’t her dad and that I’m just Steve.”

“Just Steve. Ouch,” Kelly winced, “But she didn’t say anything to you?”

“Nope. We just got lunch and acted like it never happened.”

Now it was Kelly’s turn to groan as she leaned forward, banging her forehead against the nurse’s desk in front of where they sat.

“You two are so clueless!”

“It’s my own damn fault,” Steve muttered, “I’ve never let on that I’m interested in her or think she’s beautiful or that I spend random moments during the day thinking about what she and Hope are doing. That I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin in anticipation of seeing her again. It’s like I never truly feel relaxed unless I’m with her and Hope.”

Kelly whistled.

“Man, you’ve got it bad, Harrington.”

“No need to tell me that,” he grumbled.

“Hey, look on the bright side. You get to see Santa tomorrow,” she teased.

“I regret telling you that,” he rolled his eyes.

“Hey! I’m one of your best friends and believe me when I tell you I would’ve found out, Steve Harrington.”

He grinned, knowing that was true. There were never any secrets between him and Kelly. They shared pretty much everything from the woes of being a nurse to who they were dating, so of course he’d told her that Y/N had invited him to go with her to take Hope to see Santa.

“You may have a point,” he sighed dramatically, laughing when she hit his arm before continuing.

“But, you’re right. I’m really looking forward to it.”

•

Other than correcting Hope, you hadn’t said anything to Steve about her calling him dada. In all honesty, you didn’t know who it was more awkward for—you or him.

On one hand, you didn’t want to hurt him because he truly had become a father figure to her. On the other, you didn’t want him to think that you wanted something more than friendship. The idea wasn’t terrible of course, but you didn’t want to entertain it, sure there was no way he felt the same.

“Y/N?”

You shook yourself out of your thoughts and looked over at Steve. You were both currently waiting in line to see Santa at the mall, Hope in your arms.

“Hmm?”

“Something on your mind?” he asked.

“No, sorry. Just spaced out,” you smiled apologetically, “How was work last night?”

“Long,” he groaned, “There was an emergency C-section, a breech that finally turned his way around at the last possible second and one mother who progressed so quickly she barely made it to the hospital in time to deliver.”

“Damn. First baby?”

“Fifth,” he answered.

“Jeez, you really did have a long night. I promise I’ll get you home early enough for you to sleep at a normal time tonight.”

“Ah, the benefits of a few days off,” he chuckled.

As you drew closer to the front of the line, Hope looked around, wide eyed as she took in all the Christmas lights, the red and green decorations and the jolly laughter coming from the big guy in the red velvet chair.

“You excited to see Santa?” Steve asked her.

She babbled back to him, pointing at something.

“Is that so? Well I’m sure Santa would be happy to bring you that for Christmas.”

You laughed.

“Honestly, she’s still so young, I may just get her a few necessities and toys and then let her spend the day playing with the boxes.”

“Ah, a seven month old’s holiday dream,” Steve said wistfully, though there was a glint of humor in his eyes.

When it was Hope’s turn to sit on Santa’s lap, you and Steve both cracked up from the sidelines at the look on her face.

Contrary to some babies, she didn’t cry, she just looked confused. She looked up into the Santa’s face then back in yours and Steve’s direction, an expression of bewilderment on her face.

If she could talk, you were sure she’d be asking: “Who the heck is this you plopped me in the lap of?”

The Santa laughed heartily, talking to her while she continued to gaze at him in confusion.

Between you two and the photographer, you managed to get a pretty decent photo of her. You ended up buying a copy because it was too cute not to save.

Besides, you really wanted to remember this moment of her—and Steve too—who’d laughed so hard there were actual tears streaming down his face.

“My sides hurt from laughing so much,” he wheezed, finally calming down after you’d left with the photo in tow.

“Mine too,” you grinned.

Hope was oblivious to your laughter as she sucked on a finger, looking around the mall as you passed different shops, decorated to the nines for the holidays. She was too young to understand, but you couldn’t help the sense of feeling complete when it was the three of you. It was like you were no longer alone in the world.

But maybe, it was just the holiday magic getting to you.

•

You’d invited Steve back to your apartment after the visit with Santa and offered him lunch, which he’d declined.

You’d fed Hope a lunch of scrambled eggs and some mashed bananas—two of her favorites. She was getting to the age where she was picking up food for herself and feeding herself, though you still had to spoon feed her the mashed food.

This time though, Steve had fed her her bananas, even going as far as making airplane noises, flying the spoon around making her squeal with laughter.

Now, she was sound asleep in the play pen that you’d brought out to the living room, down for her afternoon nap.

“I’m telling you, this is such a great picture,” Steve laughed at the picture of Hope with Santa, handing it back to you.

You set it aside with a grin.

“I know I say it all the time, but I can’t believe how big she’s gotten,” he said, resting his head back against the couch.

“Me either. Sometimes it still feels like yesterday that you were literally coaching me through labor,” you grinned over at him.

“Hey, I just provided the encouragement, you did all the hard work,” he answered, amused.

“Still, I couldn’t have done it without you. I couldn’t have made it this far without you, Steve,” you whispered.

He grew quiet, his gaze focused on yours. Maybe it was your imagination, but you swore you felt the air shift between you two.

He sat up, leaning towards you and you inhaled sharply, your heart pounding in your ears as you realized what he was going to do. But nothing could have made you stop him as his hand caressed your cheek and he leaned down, pressing his lips to yours.

You would’ve been lying if you said you hadn’t imagined what it would be like to kiss Steve. Somehow, at some point over the last seven months you’d found yourself more drawn to him. It was just little things—like how he was with Hope, the way his smile was so big sometimes it was just the slightest bit crooked, the way he would do anything for you and Hope.

You kissed him back, your lips moving against his slowly as you reacquainted yourself with the feel of another person again. It had been so long since you had shared something so intimate with someone and it was a welcome change.

Maybe it had been too long or maybe it was buried longing that fueled the kiss because you found yourself carried away in it. His lips glided over yours, feeling as soft as they looked, his hands gliding from your face, down your neck to around your waist. One of your hands slid across his neck into his hair at the nape of his neck, tangling into it.

The strands were silky smooth and your fingers passed through them with ease and you never wanted to go another moment without your hand buried in his hair, without his lips on yours.

One moment bled into another as the kiss grew more heated. Your lips parted willingly as his tongue slid over your bottom lip before entering your mouth, tangling with your own.

Although it was more sensual than it had begun, the pace of the kiss was languid as if you both were taking the time to memorize every inch of one another. His hands landed on your hips, squeezing them gently, the only sound in the room the parting and rejoining of yours and his lips.

At some point during the kiss, your chest had become pressed against his and you could feel your nipples harden in arousal that you hadn’t felt in such a long time.

His hands had found your thighs and had began inching upwards, leaving a trail of electricity in their wake, even through your jeans. A soft moan erupted from your throat and that’s when reality slammed back into you, bringing you to your senses.

You pulled away abruptly then, shaken to your core, horrified at how far you’d let it go on. Steve must’ve seen the panic on your face for he jumped back from you like you’d physically burned him.

“Fuck. I’m so sorry Y/N,” he apologized profusely.

“No, no. It’s my fault, really,” you shook your head, putting much needed space between the two of you.

Your chest was heaving, your blood was boiling and you felt pulsing desire in places that hadn’t been set aflame for a long while.

“I should probably go,” Steve said, clearly as freaked out as you.

You were too preoccupied with your own jarring thoughts to argue. You nodded absently, seeing him to the door.

“I really am sorry,” Steve said, one last time.

“It’s fine, really. No harm done,” you replied.

You were lying through your teeth. Your thoughts and fears had been broken open like a sledgehammer to a glass window.

When you closed the door, you made a decision that you didn’t want to do, but knew you had to.

You had to distance yourself from Steve as soon as possible.

•

It’d been two weeks since the incident with Y/N.

Between the holidays coming up and a skeleton crew at the hospital, Steve had ended up taking on more shifts which meant he had even less personal time. He hadn’t seen Y/N since he’d kissed her—well made out with her was probably the better term for it.

She didn’t call him, she didn’t visit him, she ignored his calls. He tried to convince himself that it didn’t matter. It was the holidays, he was busy at work and he didn’t have time to think about his personal problems.

But she stayed at the back of his mind, constantly. He couldn’t shake the gnawing feeling that he’d messed up badly.

Still, he promised himself he’d wait until after the holidays to reconnect. It was a busy time for him anyways.

It was a week before Christmas when he returned home from work one day to see a card had been delivered to him. He didn’t usually get much mail other than the occasional advertisements and pesky bills.

He had no idea what to expect when he opened it as there wasn’t a return address.

His breath caught when he pulled a Christmas card out of the envelope with the familiar picture he loved so much of Hope on Santa’s lap.

Turning it over, there were only two words written on the back.

Merry Christmas.

•

Eight Months Old

January, typically meant to be the start of a new year was also one of the coldest times of the year.

It was a cold and lonely month for you as well.

After mailing Steve the Christmas card weeks ago, you’d told yourself you’d be better off putting some space between you and him again.

You couldn’t have been more wrong. You were miserable.

You were also scared too.

Scared to open your heart again. Scared to trust someone so deeply.

The kiss had made everything all too real and emotions you’d been denying, hiding away for over half a year began making themselves known.

Without you even realizing it, over the duration of seven months, you’d developed feelings for Steve. You were attracted to him, that much was obvious, but it went so much deeper than that. He was the person you could always turn to—not for help alone, but just because you knew he was always in your corner.

He’d been there for so many of Hope’s milestones, watched her grow, been around so much that Hope had even mistaken him for her father. Truth be told though, somedays you wished Steve was her dad.

Realizations like that scared the shit out of you.

It had been so long since you depended on anyone but yourself. Even when you’d been with Hope’s biological father, you’d never really fully depended on him, you’d always trusted yourself more than anyone.

And there laid your problem.

You had opened yourself up far more than you’d ever allowed yourself to, with Steve. You’d let him help you when you usually would be too stubborn, too scared to ask for help. He’d seen you at your worst, your most vulnerable and yet he still kept coming around.

But how did you let someone in when you were scared to fully give yourself to that person?

As the days passed in a blur of the same old routine, that same question cycled through your brain.

You still hadn’t come up with an answer.

•

“It’s been how long?”

“About five weeks now,” Steve replied dully, gaze sliding over to Kelly.

They sat in their usual spots at the nurse’s desk. He was slumped back in his chair, bouncing it back and forward gently as he conversed with his friend. She sat on the desktop in front of him looking as grim as he felt.

“So why haven’t you tried going over to see her?” Kelly asked, exasperated.

“Kelly, if she’s not answering my phone calls, I doubt she wants to see me.”

“I just don’t understand how this happened,” she shook her head.

“Simple. I kissed her and fucked it all up because I got carried away and started thinking with my dick,” he mumbled.

“Normally I’d say you’re right, but that’s not exactly what I mean.”

“What do you mean?” he asked curiously.

“Well first, you didn’t mess up because you kissed her. Remember, she kissed you back—a lot.”

“Yeah, then tossed me out like hot garbage,” Steve retorted.

“Not my point Steve, stay with me. Anyways, what I mean is I don’t understand how this happened because you guys went from spending almost every free moment of your time together to nothing. How does that happen?”

“We didn’t spend every moment together,” he argued.

“Steve, focus,” Kelly reprimanded.

“I mean, it was before Christmas and things got really hectic here. I was taking extra shifts and I figured she just needed some time. I figured she’d come to me, then when she didn’t I figured I’d wait until things calmed down and the holidays were over and now—”

“Now you’ve gone five weeks without talking to her or trying to figure this thing out,” she interrupted him.

“Basically,” he shrugged.

“See this is one of those cases where waiting longer was not the smart thing to do. It just made it even harder and created an even bigger chasm between you two.”

“So, basically we’re back to it being my fault,” he sighed.

“No, we’re at the fact you both need to get your shit together and wise up,” she said.

“I don’t know, Kells,” he said, eyes trained on one nurse in particular that was new to their floor, one that had piqued his interest before returning his gaze to his friend.

“Maybe the wisest thing to do is nothing at all. Maybe it’s just wisest to do someone else.”

•

Nine Months Old

By the time February rolled around and the first full week had passed, it had been nearly 8 weeks since you’d seen or talked to Steve. Your soul quite literally felt fractured as if he had taken a piece of you that fateful day.

You knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but you’d decided to be honest with him. First, you were going to apologize profusely for completely disappearing, then you were going to tell him that you’d fallen in love with him.

You took it as a sign when in a rare occurrence as of late, Hope woke up at 4 am with a bout of energy. After feeding her, changing her diaper and putting her into some warmer clothes, you strapped her into her carrier and decided to pay Steve a visit.

You knew it was the least you could do after the way you’d treated him.

You’d just arrived on the pediatric floor, heading to the nurse’s desk to ask to see Steve when you heard the two nurses you’d just passed, talking around the corner. You’d stopped, setting down Hope’s carrier and the diaper bag, your arms aching and trying to psyche yourself up to confront Steve.

At first, the conversation didn’t interest you until you heard one of the women mention a title you were familiar with.

“You mean the most popular male nurse on the floor? The one that everyone loves?”

There was no way they weren’t discussing Steve. Your ears perked, interested in what they were discussing.

“Mhm. The very one.”

You could hear the smirk in the second woman’s voice. The first one spoke again.

“You’re telling me you’ve been hooking up with him? God, he’s so hot.”

It felt like your stomach bottomed out when you heard those words. Surely, you must be misunderstanding things. After all, you were only hearing snippets of a conversation anyways.

“We’ve hooked up a few times. No big deal.”

You could practically hear the smugness in the nurse’s words, making you feel sick.

“So tell me,” the friend asked, “What’s he like in bed?”

“A girl never kisses and tells,” you heard the other say coyly, “But I will tell you I never leave unsatisfied, that’s for sure.”

The rest of their conversation faded away as you felt a rush in your ears, as if you were underwater.

You felt like an idiot.

Of course he had been seeing someone. You didn’t own him, you weren’t in a relationship and he had every right to see whoever he pleased.

Then why did you feel like someone had just punched you in the stomach?

It had been a mistake to show up.

It would’ve been even worse if you’d actually made it to him and confessed your love. Oh God, that would’ve been mortifying.

It was probably better that you left before he found out you’d come to see him. But before you could gather Hope’s carrier and the diaper bag, you heard your name.

“Y/N? Y/N Y/L/N?”

You didn’t recognize the voice, but turned and saw a petite blonde nurse coming up to you. Her face was familiar, but you couldn’t quite place her.

“I don’t know if you remember me, but I was the other nurse in your room when you delivered, Kelly.”

“Oh, right!” you nodded, offering a smile, though at the moment you felt like doing the complete opposite, “I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you right away.”

“Don’t worry. It was a chaotic time, I understand. Is this your daughter?”

She looked down at Hope in her carrier who was peacefully chewing on her stuffed animal bunny, cooing.

“Yes. This is Hope,” you confirmed.

“Oh she’s so cute! Look how big you’ve gotten!” Kelly bent down, tickling Hope’s tummy making her giggle, “I was there when you were born, munchkin.”

Standing back up, she turned towards you.

“Are you here to see Steve? He’s just in with a patient, but I’ll go get him.”

You opened your mouth to speak—not sure whether to question how she knew or to make your excuses and leave.

“Oh sorry, I forgot to mention Steve’s one of my oldest friends and he’s mentioned you before. So I figured you were here to visit him.”

You really had to get out of here. But of course, with your track record, you weren’t fast enough.

“Oh, speak of the devil,” Kelly said, looking over her shoulder.

“What about me?” Steve asked, coming up behind her, stopping short when he caught his first glimpse of you.

He hadn’t noticed you standing with Kelly until he was right in front of the two of you.

“Y/N?”

Your chest ached, hearing his voice. At one point, you’d heard it every single day. Now, it was the first time you’d heard it in months and it hurt like hell after what you’d overheard.

“I better run. Gotta go check on patients and other nurse stuff, you know,” Kelly excused herself, “It’s nice to see you again, Y/N.”

You nodded at Kelly as she left and it wasn’t until she was far enough that you finally found your voice again.

“Yeah, hi,” you said awkwardly to Steve, “I um, I thought I’d come visit.”

“It’s been a while,” he said gruffly.

“Yeah, that’s my fault,” you looked down, refusing to look him directly in the eyes.

This was awkward, painful and so far from the comfort and ease you’d used to feel around him.

“How’s my little Hopey?” he asked, bending down to boop her nose.

She dropped her stuffed bunny and grinned wide up at Steve. She now had even more teeth—six to be exact. Two on the bottom and four across the top.

“Look at that beautiful smile,” he grinned at her, “I think you dropped this.”

He picked up her bunny and handed it back to her. She immediately took it back in her hand, going back to chewing on the ear.

“I won’t keep you long. I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted. It was wholeheartedly a me thing and nothing you did wrong,” you blabbered on, “I’m sorry for disappearing. I just needed time to get my head on straight. I hope you don’t hate me and I hope you can forgive me. If you can’t, I’ll understand. I just wanted you to know I’m sorry.

He was still crouched next to Hope’s carrier, playing with her as you talked, but he finally looked up at you.

You wanted to kick yourself for being so stupid. For realizing way too late that you were in love with this stupidly handsome, generous, caring and all together amazing man.

Today’s scrubs were a deep red and though he wasn’t donning his glasses, they were folded over the neckline of the top, laying against his chest. His hair was a little shorter now and perhaps styled a bit differently, some strands flopping over onto his forehead, though it looked like he’d pushed it back with his hands multiple times over the shift. His brown eyes looked up at you and though you could tell through them before, you couldn’t tell now what he was feeling.

Your eyes ran over his face at the freckles and moles that covered his face and neck that you were so used to seeing, never once before thinking just how much you wanted to trail kisses over them, knowing now that some other girl had that advantage. Or that he kissed someone else with those pale pink lips that had felt so soft against yours. That he had kissed you like you’d never had anyone kiss you before.

“I could never hate you,” he replied honestly, “Thank you for coming to apologize. I know how hard that must be.”

He truly had no idea, especially now.

You nodded awkwardly.

“If you’re up for it, how about dinner tomorrow? Same time, same place? It’ll be good to catch up.”

He was offering you an olive branch. You would be stupid not to take it, so you agreed.

“Sounds great.”

•

Steve practically leapt out of his seat at the loud crash of a clipboard being slammed against the desk in front of him. He looked up to see none other than Kelly.

“Okay. What the fuck did you do to her?”

“To who? What are you talking about?”

His brows creased in confusion and his best friend groaned and fell back into her chair.

“To Y/N, you idiot.”

“I didn’t do anything to her…?”

Kelly tried her best to suppress the eye roll she felt like giving him and tried to remain patient with her friend. He was a man after all.

“Then why did she look like a kicked puppy?”

“She did?”

This time, Kelly did roll her eyes. Lord, give her the strength.

“Okay, let me put it this way. Does it have anything to do with you sleeping with Holly?”

His look of bewilderment was almost comical to her. Steve had no idea how she knew about that and he asked her as much.

“Please. With the way that girl’s been flapping her gums? There’s no way I haven’t heard about it. What I want to know is if Y/N found out.”

“I…”

He felt panic rise up in him. He didn’t know why exactly it made him feel horrible, but he did.

He had every right to see other people and not feel bad about it. Kelly sighed, patting him on his shoulder as she got up, walking off to her newest patient’s room.

He hoped maybe it would all blow over soon enough.

•

Ten Months Old

While Hope was busy growing, going from crawling to pulling herself up, saying only one word to being able to say a few more words—like mama and ball—to being able to wave and hold her own bottle during feedings, you and Steve had become the opposite. You’d both seemed stunted in comparison.

Spending time with one another was common again, but it was more than obvious you both were avoiding the elephant in the room—the growing awkwardness of never talking about where you stood.

Now, instead of talking about anything and everything from Hope to current events just because, you both did it as a means to avoid any hard conversations. The more time passed though, the more you felt it weighing on you.

You desperately wanted to ask about the nurse that you’d overheard a month ago, but didn’t think it was your place to. After all, you weren’t a couple and it wasn’t any of your business anyway, no matter how much it hurt to think of him in another woman’s bed.

Steve, on the other hand, was baffled at what was causing such a growing rift between them. Sure, they still met up, spent time together and talked, but he could feel the valley of unsaid things between them. He knew at some point, that rubber band of tension would stretch too far and break.

He’d dismissed Kelly’s concerns about Y/N finding out about Holly. After all, he’d only slept with her a handful of times and that dalliance had ended after Y/N had showed up at the hospital with Hope to apologize. He’d made sure to end it that day.

At the same time, Steve was struggling with his own conflicting emotions and revelations that he didn’t want to quite admit to himself. The main one being why he decided to pursue Holly in the first place.

Yet on you and Steve went with this charade, acting like all was fine, but you knew you were on borrowed time. It would all have to come out eventually.

That day came sooner than you had even hoped. Ironically what had began as a good day, ended up a horrible one.

You and Steve sat in your living room as he’d come over before he had to head into work later that evening. Hope was busy playing on the floor. Once she’d started crawling a few months ago, she hadn’t stopped moving. The same went for your daughter now. She was constantly testing her limits to see what she could do.

“No, no, Hope,” you chided, when she tried to stick her finger in the air vent in the floor.

You picked her up and sat her back down on the floor in front of her toys.

“Oh she’s getting rebellious now, isn’t she?” Steve chuckled.

“I’m telling you, she’s smart that’s for sure. She’s always trying new things to see what she can get away with or seeing what she can do. I swear I think that’s why she started crawling at six months, she just couldn’t wait to get moving.”

“Hey, she’s a busy girl. New place to explore, things to chew,” he retorted.

You chuckled, watching Hope pull herself up with the help of holding onto the edge of the couch.

“She’s been doing that so much lately. I wonder if she’ll take any steps soon,” you pondered out loud.

“It’s possible,” Steve answered, “Obviously it varies from baby to baby, but it can be as early as ten months to as late as fourteen or fifteen months. Some just like to crawl longer, some don’t crawl at all and skip straight to walking. It’s fascinating when you think about it.”

“You gonna show Steve how big of a girl you are and take a step?” you grinned at Hope, who babbled at you.

She was holding onto the couch at the other end from where you two were seated. You both got up, crouching in front of her, encouraging her.

“Come on Hopey, I know you can do it,” Steve grinned at her.

She baby talked, letting go of the couch as she took one awkward step on her own and then two more before falling on her bottom, looking a little surprised.

“You did it!” you squealed.

Steve cheered just as much as you did, picking her up and lifting her in the air. Hope instantly forgot that she’d fallen on her tush as she squealed, grinning wide at him.

When the moment passed, your eyes locked with his and you knew it was time for the inevitable.

“Can we-” he began.

“I overheard some nurses talking when I went to see you last month,” you blurted.

Steve winced. Kelly had been right all along.

He put Hope down with her toys, situating her with her stuffed bunny before turning back to you.

“Let me guess, you heard about the fact that I’ve been seeing one of the new nurses?” he asked.

“Seeing is a loose term, I’d think,” you quipped.

“Now that’s not fair,” he responded, “I’m allowed to see or sleep with whoever I want to in my free time. It’s not like we’re together.”

You sighed, dragging your hands down your face, not wanting to admit the truth, but you knew you had to if this conversation was to go anywhere.

“I know. I guess I just felt jealous and betrayed.”

“Betrayed?” Steve’s brows furrowed, “It’s not like I cheated on you or anything.”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” you replied firmly.

“Then what are you saying? Because I personally felt betrayed when you just disappeared into thin air for two fucking months.”

His tone was now harsher and you felt your shoulders stiffen.

“I know and that’s my fault, I get it. I freaked out and got scared. But when I came to see you last month to apologize and talk to you, I find out you’ve already got yourself a nice side piece!”

“Well maybe you aren’t the only one good at playing games,” he shot back.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that for almost a year, I’ve constantly been here for you, yet you play these mind games. One minute you’re telling me you need me and can’t do this without me then the next you drop me like a hot potato. What else am I supposed to think?”

“Maybe that I’m struggling and having a hard time trusting someone other than myself?!”

“You’re not the only one with issues, Y/N. The world doesn’t revolve around you.”

You scoffed.

“I never said it did! I made a mistake and owned up to it, yet you go off and start fucking some nurse?”

“Newsflash. You aren’t the only one that’s lonely.”

Your pressed your lips together as you tried to control your temper and get a hold of this conversation before it got too out of hand.

This wasn’t how you wanted to do it, but you felt like you had no other choice than to admit to it now. You took a deep breath, trying to calm your quivering voice.

“The day I came to apologize, I was going to tell you that I’d fallen in love with you. Guess it’s a good thing I didn’t after I heard that nurse talking about how much she was seeing you.”

He barked a laugh, no humor in it.

“Well maybe because unlike you, Holly actually pays attention to how I feel.”

You reeled back like he’d slapped you. Not only did he not acknowledge your admission, he’d struck you where it hurt the most.

He ran a hand through his hair, his hands firm on his hips, body tense with anger.

“I got to get to work.”

You said nothing as he got up and left, slamming the door behind him.

Hope startled at the loud sound and started crying. You picked her up in your arms, your own tears streaming down your face.

“It’s okay to cry, baby. Sometimes, that’s all you can do.”

•

Eleven Months Old

“This feels like a rerun of a show I’ve already watched,” Kelly quipped.

“Normally, I’d appreciate your humor, but now is not one of those times,” Steve mumbled.

“As your best friend and work wife, I’d just like to say you’re an idiot.”

“Thank you. That’s extremely helpful,” he deadpanned.

“Honestly though, why have you guys stopped talking again? Because of a silly little fight?”

“She was hurt I slept with Holly and I was hurt that she ditched me,” Steve answered, “We haven’t spoke since then. We said a lot of hurtful things.”

“Alright. Let’s put a pin in this for a moment. Why did you sleep with Tits McGee?”

He gave her a look, but answered her anyways, with a shrug.

“I was lonely Kells and it’d been awhile. Besides she wanted me and sometimes it’s nice to feel wanted.”

“Honestly, am I the only person in this unit that doesn’t want your dick? You can’t be that amazing in bed. I mean we slept together once and I can’t remember a damn thing.”

“We were drunk college kids then,” Steve retorted.

“Still. If you were that spectacular I would’ve remembered it whether I was drunk or not,” she replied.

“Why am I friends with you again?”

“Because you love me,” she grinned innocently, “Anyways, back to your issue. Did the random girl mean anything to you?”

“Not really, no. I mean every time I closed my eyes I imagined it was Y/N, not Holly underneath me. That it was her moans and her sighs.”

“Steve, you know I’m usually all for our TMI conversations—which by the way, I feel like I’m getting a UTI—”

Steve cut her off with a groan and an unamused look.

“Sorry, anyways, why the fuck are you telling me this? Tell Y/N, that!”

“I’ve messed up one too many times with her. I mean maybe we just aren’t meant to work out.”

Kelly sighed, knowing she was going to have to spell it out to him.

“She told you she loved you, Steve.”

“Yeah, but that’s what she was going to say before the Holly thing. It might not be true anymore.”

“Based on the way she looked that day I saw her? I’d say it’s definitely still true,” she said.

“But you could be wrong about that,” he argued.

“Steve, I’m gonna be blunt with you.”

“When aren’t you?” he quipped, a small smile quirking his lips.

“I know we made that pact a long time ago that if I never met a man and wanted a kid, you’d give me your sperm, but you’ve found true love. That woman with that adorable baby is in love with you, Steve. I’m tired of watching you fuck it all up.”

“So what do I do?” he asked, feeling quite literally like a lost puppy.

“What they do in the movies, dumbass. You go after her.”

•

Spring had arrived and despite the warmer weather, the cold snap between you and Steve had made you miserable.

Hope was now old enough to remember and recognize Steve and you could tell she missed him too. She tended to be more fussy and clingy lately, but then again, maybe that was just the teething.

You felt like you were at the end of your rope. You had no idea what to do when it came to Steve and had begun to think maybe you just weren’t meant to work it out. Maybe, you were just too different.

You were cleaning up Hope’s face from her lunch when you heard a knock on your door.

“Coming!” you called to the visitor, hurrying to set Hope on the living room floor with her toys before scurrying to the door.

When you opened it, you figured to see a delivery man, one of your neighbors, hell even your landlord. You did not expect to see Steve standing there.

“Steve,” you breathed.

Before you could say anything else, his hands were on your face, cradling it as he brought his lips to yours.

You wouldn’t have been exaggerating when you said your knees literally went weak from the relief. Just to see him again, feel him again, kiss him again.

The time would come to talk, but for right now, you just kissed him like he was the first taste of water you’d had after a trip through the desert.

“Da da”

You both parted and looked down, laughing at Hope who’d crawled over to the door—she hadn’t walked yet, but she was so close—and pulled herself up by Steve’s pant leg. She now stood, holding onto it, trying to look up at him.

He laughed, face bright with happiness as he bent down to pick her up.

“Well hello to you too, munchkin,” he grinned, kissing her cheek, before looking back at you, “Sorry about that…I had a whole speech prepared and then I just saw you and well, that plan vanished.”

You laughed, giddy with relief just to be with him again.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry for all the things I said. It wasn’t fair, I know.”

You ushered him in, closing the door behind him. He sat Hope back down when she started wiggling to get down. She returned to her toys, none the wiser to the two of you.

“I wanted to apologize too. I said things that I didn’t mean. Things just got so confusing and difficult and I never meant for them to get that way. You had every right to be hurt about Holly,” he swallowed hard, nervous to continue, but he forged ahead, “I was selfish and made a big mistake because, fuck, Y/N, the few times I was with her, all I could imagine was it was you under me. All I wanted was you. I couldn’t forget you.”

Your heartbeat sped up and your mouth went dry. You couldn’t believe—had no idea he’d felt the same way about you as you had him.

“And that’s over,” Steve continued, “I actually broke things off with her the day you came to visit me two months ago. It was then I knew I made a big mistake. I was lonely and stupid and a dumbass, I know. I was just afraid to admit how I felt about you for fear you wouldn’t want me. I know how hard it has been for you to trust again, to truly give yourself one hundred percent to someone again. But if you think you can, I’d want nothing more than to be the one you trust. I knew you were special, Y/N. I knew it from the moment I first set eyes on you in the labor and delivery ward all those months ago.”

You were crying, again. Honestly, if you hadn’t scared him off by your amount of tears alone throughout this past year then that was a major accomplishment. Emotion clogged your throat and you were unable to speak, but it was alright because Steve wasn’t done just yet.

“If you want to take it slow, that’s fine by me. We can take it as slow as you want. I just want to be with you. With you and Hope. I adore her so much and I know there’s the logistics of her calling me daddy and if you don’t want that, that’s okay, she can call me Steve. Or if that is okay, I’d love for her to—”

“Steve,” you laughed, interrupting his rambling.

He stopped, a sheepish look on his face.

“Will you shut up and kiss me again?”

He happily obliged.

•

Twelve Months Old

Time is an odd thing. Sometimes it feels too fast while other times it feels too slow.

You realized just how much truth there was in the saying that the days are long, but the years were short because somehow, in a blink of an eye, your precious Hope was a year old.

You decided to celebrate with just you, Hope and Steve. There wasn’t really anyone to invite to a party and you didn’t think Hope would mind forgoing a party she wouldn’t remember.

The three of you spent the entire day together, Steve surprising Hope with a trip to the zoo, which she had a blast at. You took turns pushing the stroller, taking her out so she could look at the animals.

She pointed, babbled and gawked at different animals and even got to pet a giraffe. You weren’t sure who was more excited about that part, you or her.

Afterwards, Steve treated the two of you McDonalds. Hope was now old enough to gnaw on some fries, which she had recently discovered she absolutely loved—a girl after your own heart honestly.

Steve didn’t even bother with getting her a high chair as he sat with her in his lap the entire time you two ate. As cliché as it sounded, your face actually hurt from smiling so much. The last time you’d been this happy was the first time you’d heard Hope’s cries as she announced her presence to the world. It was no coincidence that Steve was there for such a monumental moment then or now. You knew now that he was meant to be in your life.

Despite having a small cake back at your apartment for her birthday, Steve bought an ice cream cone just to let Hope have a few tastes.

“You’re going to spoil her rotten,” you laughed.

“Hey, you only turn one once. Besides, we haven’t even gotten to presents yet,” he winked.

When you’d returned to your place, Hope immediately fussed to be put down as she wanted to play.

“Don’t you want your gift, Hopey?” Steve asked, holding up a gift bag.

She looked up at her name and stood, taking a few teetering steps at first. You and Steve both froze as you saw her take the last few steps towards you and Steve.

“Hope!” you squealed, picking her up, “You walked all by yourself!”

Not truly realizing what she’d done, she grinned wide at the two of you.

“That was the best present ever, baby,” you smiled, kissing her cheek repeatedly.

She shrieked and laughed, trying to push you away.

“Why don’t we open your present from daddy Steve?” you asked her, sitting down with her in your lap.

He raised an amused eyebrow and you shrugged.

“Hey, if she’s gonna keep calling you dada. I thought I’d ease you into it, if you’d like to be her father figure that is,” you said.

“I couldn’t think of a better honor,” he replied wholeheartedly.

You both burst out laughing when Hope practically snatched the gift bag out of Steve’s hands in the short time that you spoke.

“Okay, okay. We get it, you’re ready,” Steve chuckled, handing it to her.

She struggled a bit, getting quite sidetracked by the tissue paper, finding it quite entertaining. You helped her out, pulling out another little stuffed bunny. This one had the name Hope embroidered on the ear.

“Oh Steve,” you breathed, “This is perfect. But it’s way too much.”

“No it’s not. I wanted to get her something special. Besides, I figured her first little bunny could use a friend.”

She babbled, taking it out of your hand, almost immediately tucking it under her arm.

“I think she likes it,” you smiled.

“Good. I’m glad.”

•

Cake was postponed for later as Hope promptly fell asleep against Steve’s chest for her afternoon nap. He’d been reluctant to put her in her crib, but he knew she’d sleep better that way. Before he tiptoed out of the bedroom, he rubbed her back soothingly.

“Happy birthday little Hope. Thank you for bringing me and your mommy together.”

When he returned to the living room, you were busy cleaning up the mess of toys that the now one year old you had, could produce.

Steve grinned as he plopped down on the couch, reaching out to grab you by the waist and pull you into his lap. You squealed at the sudden movement, laughing as you landed in his lap.

“Thank you,” he smiled.

“For what?” you asked, brows furrowed in confusion.

“For deciding to take a chance on me, on us. For trusting me. For choosing me to be the one to love you like you should be loved.”

You had no words for him, so you showed him how you felt as you leaned down and connected your lips with his in a soft kiss.

When you pulled away, you sighed, leaning into him.

“What are you thinking about?” he questioned.

“Just how much has happened this year,” you said.

You thought of that scared girl you’d been exactly a year ago when you were in labor. You thought of the sleep deprived mother you’d been in those first few months and how Steve had helped you through it. You thought of that awkward pair of friends at the beginning of your relationship, just getting to know one another but having a connection that only the birth of your baby girl had provided. You thought of you and Steve as you grew closer, fought, went through misunderstandings and confusion, yet still managed to make your way back to one another. All in a year.

Just as Hope had grown, developed and changed, so had your relationship with Steve.

Life was always filled with surprises. Some good, some not so good, but it wouldn’t be worth it if was easy all the time. You were thankful for all the lessons that both Hope and Steve had taught you and the growth they’d both invoked in you.

“Steve?”

“Yes?”

You looked down into his warm brown eyes. They were the same kind ones that had greeted you the first time he walked into your hospital room. You smiled at him before speaking.

“For as long as you’ll have me, I’m yours.”

#steve harrington #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington angst #stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things blurb #stranger things fluff #stranger things angst

410 notes · View notes

stariikis · 7 days

Text

you above all? | kim sunoo | sad ending pt

synopsis ; though there has been a tangible tension between you and debut-ready sunoo for a while now, things start to crumble when he asks you to break up with him. do you accept the fate laid out before your eyes, or do you decide to fight for this love? can you do it with a broken heart?

SAD ENDING

your lips trembling, you open your mouth to ask, why, but not a sound comes out of your mouth. it’s almost pathetic, the way you fumble for words not even present in your mind. after a while, you give up. it’s no point anyway. you have a nauseating feeling you know what all this is about.

who are you to disagree with your boyfriend’s wishes?

he’s always been there for you. he’s always been your pillar of support in the roughest of times and hardest of moments. when you need a shoulder to cry on, he’s always around. who are you to not be the same person back, to not comply with what he thinks is right?

if he wants to break up for the sake of his reputation, you fear you’ll never be able to deny him the peace he hopes for. if he’s worried about his future, you are too. it’s the least you can do in return for all that he’s done for you.

it’ll be fine, even through the heartbreak and the tears bound to come the moment he walks out of your life.

you knew this day was coming, and yet you still kept this tinge of false hope. was it to sate your empty soul, or was it because of the promises sunoo made late in the night, the dozens of interlocked pinkies and gentle cheek kisses? the memory, sharp in your mind, makes you wince. would all that have been a lie, then?

your vision finally clears for a brief moment, and you take one last look at sunoo.

glossy eyes over a sheet-white complexion. he looks like he’s about to be sick, but at the same time you know he’s trying to carry himself to seem as if he’s the stronger one in the room. you catch his gaze waver when you look at him.

he really, really doesn’t want this, and somehow this soothes you.

it makes your decision immensely easier.

“i’m sorry,” you hear a faint whisper as you walk towards the door.

instead of responding, you dip your head, nodding before walking out and shutting the door behind you for the last time. it’s only then, when you allow your suppressed tears to leak out in a torrent of pain and regret.

it’s been a long time coming, but it hurts more than i could ever imagine.

masterlist

#stariikis #enhypen #enhypen sunoo #sunoo x reader #sunoo au #kim sunoo au #kim sunoo #sunoo #enha sunoo #sunoo x you #kim sunoo x you #sunoo x y/n #enhypen x reader #kim sunoo x reader

25 notes · View notes

acciocriativity · 7 months

Text

WRITTEN IN THE STARTS - KHJ (FROM THE 300 FOLLOWERS EVENT)

(Pictures are not mine, credits for the rightful owners)

Requested from @redheavenwater

This was the definition of trust the process, but ended up as my fav soulmate! au that I've written. I hope you guys enjoy it just as much as I did. @snwusberry your post pushed me to finish this, so thank you very much, love 💕

Ateez Masterlist

It was obvious, so obvious to the point of being written in the starts, but it seems like your soulmate didn’t know how to freaking read.

Where the actual fuck are they?

You’ve been walking around the lake for hours now. The place was packed, there were kids running around, parents screaming, dogs barking, and you had a headache for the last 40 minutes.

It was the third time a place appeared in your dreams, the place where you’d met your soulmate, and you swore the moment you found them, they would be dead. You being there was all their fault in the first place, since they seemed to like nature so bad.

The first time it was a waterfall in the countryside, 135 km away from the comfort of your home. You knew you had the right place as soon as you found the photos. The where you had, but the when was nothing more than a feeling. Three days later to be exact. You were confident in your powers to be excited about this moment… but they didn’t show up, and you made sure to put in the effort to look out for them still.

Is still fate if I have to put this much effort?

You asked yourself as you looked around the beautiful place. It still was a beautiful place, you had to admit the motherfucker had a good taste.

In the other side of the park, Hongjoong sighed as he took another disappointing photo at that beautiful place. If anyone looked from the outside, they could say it was good, almost perfect. But there was something missing, a certain someone, actually.

Ever since he could breathe, he had this vision of his soulmate when he was asleep. She was in his every dream, first in the background, then little by little the protagonist alongside of him. If he closed his eyes, he could see her blurry figure running as fast as possible from a giant monster, but the tattoos in her arms always stood out. The symbol of the witches was the only part he could find on the internet, the meaning of the rest remained unknown. It wasn’t like he did nothing to find her, but he never felt like any of the girls that fitted the description was the real her.

One more, just one more to finish this project

He put his camera inside his bag, then grabbed all of his stuff.

He needed a change in scenery, now, something good enough so that he wouldn’t hate to look at the photos for the next 6 hours while editing them. The families around almost made him regret the decision of coming today. It was his intention to capture those spontaneous moments, but oh god how much he wished it was him in one of those photos instead.

He looked around once again, searching for an empty spot. The lake caught his eyes first, the light shining in the water would make a good shot. Then he saw a girl, she had curly hair as far as he could tell…

Don’t, don’t do this bullshit again, there are a lot of girls like that around here

Yet he couldn’t control the way his heart pumped fast in his chest. He slapped his own chest. It was like that every time, his stupid heart would make him have some faith just to be disappointed later…. he fooled himself a lot this week, so why not one more time? The pain will be Hongjoong’s future problem.

He walked slowly to the other side of the lake, he made sure to take the longer way around it, and to count 30 seconds before he looked at her again, that was a respectful break, right? right?? His hands were shaking, why his hands were freaking shaking? Did he ever feel like this before? No, he couldn’t remember, actually he couldn’t think at the moment, so maybe he did.

You laid down on the grass, tired of all the walking you did and still planned to do today, but especially tired of your own thoughts. You closed your eyes as you tried to let yourself relax for a moment, but the confusion refused to left your body. More than angry, you couldn’t understand why you were failing so much. You were never so mistaken, ever since you’re first discovering your powers in divination.

What if they don’t want to s…

Something felt weird, so weird to the point where you couldn’t dwell in a hole of self-pity anymore. It was like an itch in your mind, but you couldn’t figure it out what it was. Then it became a heat under the skin of your arm, you thought it was actually going to burn you.

You sat as fast as you could, then took out the jacket you wore on top of your dress. All the black ink in your arms slowly but surely turned into a deep purple right in front of your eyes.

Hongjoong felt tears in his eyes as the burning in his skin turned into lines of purple ink, from the very tip of his shaking fingers to his shoulders. He was crying because of the unbearable pain, but then he recognized the symbol, the witch symbol on his body. He was born nothing more than a human, he was sure of it. Now he was crying for a whole other reason.

He envisioned this moment a lot, how romantic and sweet it would be, and he’d shared it with his grandkids one day.

The moment his eyes met yours… he wanted to run.

“You’re going down”, you said as you got up and ran straight to him.

He was paralyzed. it was exactly like the scene in his dream, but now he could see in the perfect angle to have all of your features memorized and… why wasn’t you slowing down?

He felt all of his air leaving his lungs as you both fell to the ground.

“So that’s how it feels to fell in love?”, he dared to say as you leaned over him. You hit his left arm with all the anger you still feel.“Ow, that one, it’s still hurting…”

“Oh, sorry”, you hit the other one.

“Ow, how are you so strong…”, he whined as he moved his arms out of your reach.

“How did you miss the only girl in a protected national park 103 km away from civilization? Are you blind or stupid?”, you tried to keep yourself mad, but it was getting harder and harder as he stared at you with adoration in his eyes.

“Wha- yo- you mean you were there?”, he was wide-eyed staring at you while you got off of him.

“Weren’t you?”

“I got sick that day, I had to ca- wait, you were waiting for me that day? all day?”, he sat up and scoot over beside you, his smile was way too big for someone who just got attack by his soulmate.

His eyes scanned your face over and over and over.

You had people think you were a god because of your powers, but never someone looking at you like you were a god just by existing like he was doing at that moment.

You didn’t know what to do, nor what to say. This wasn’t going how you planned. You were the one making people shy, not the opposite.

“What is your name?”, he asked after a minute in silence.

It was a reasonable question, but it caught you off guard. That was his first question after you jumped him like an angry animal? He didn’t seem fazed after the initial shock.

“Why?”

“I’ll need it for the formal complaint in the police”.

You were the one left speechless as he laughed so hard he fell on his back.

You couldn’t help but giggle, his laugh was too funny to resist.

“How can I be forgiven?”, you asked as you looked down at him. You didn’t notice how much you were smiling, but he did.

“How about you stay like this while I get my camera?”

“That easy?”, you corrected your posture.

“Yeah… it’s all I need”.

#soulmate au #ateez x reader #ateez fluff #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez reactions #ateez headcanons #ateez masterlist #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong fluff #kim hongjoong fluff #ateez hongjoong

88 notes · View notes

iluvshinytwink · 1 year

Text

ARE WE STILL FRIENDS? - Jude Bellingham

"I can't stop you, I can't rock too, I've been back there and I cannot die too. But I've got to know, are we still friends? Can we be friends?"

Summary: You suddenly ask Jude for a break from your relationship, confused, worried, and sad Jude reluctantly agrees, promising that one day, if God and fate allows it, you'd come back to him.

Now Playing . . . ARE WE STILL FRIENDS? By Tyler, The Creator

youtube

A/N: this idea has always been on my mind and believe me or not i have a draft about this idea from i think a month ago and i just didn't know how to properly execute it 🙁

BRO THAT VERSION OF ARE WE STILL FRIENDS LITERALLY HAS ME SOBBING ON THE FLOOR 💔

Jude is an up and coming star, you know that well. He's got clubs like Liverpool and Real Madrid knocking at his door. Seeing his life go by so quickly by the span of months-- it scared you in a way. Of course you were happy for your boyfriend, he was finally making major moves for his career, seeing that would make anyone proud. Knowing that he's still young you know that he needs to focus on his career, his shining and rising career. Did you feel like a burden to him? Of course you didn't, you know he doesn't think of you like that. But he does need focus and maybe.. breaking what you and Jude had will propel him higher into his career.

The idea of you and Jude breaking up never slipped your mind, you knew deep down in your heart that you'd love him more than life itself and there was absolutely no need to separate. Well, you thought that until now. Seeing your boyfriend's name everywhere, seeing him flourish-- you were proud but you needed to think for him, for his career. This idea made your heart ache, it made your eyes well tears knowing what might happen after your small break from each other. But it was okay, you could handle it, and you thought to yourself that he surely can too.

"Jude? Can we talk?" you asked, voice already weak. "Sure, babe. What's up?" Jude smiled, putting his phone down. You felt your hands sweat, your eyes began frantically wandering around. Your felt the tears welling your eyes, you opened your mouth yet your throat was dry. "I think we should have a break.." you said almost in a whisper. "What?" Jude felt his heart drop to his toes but something in his heart told him that you were just joking so he had a small yet worried smile. "You should focus on your career, you're becoming a star!" you explained with an aching heart. "What does my career have to do with our relationship?" Jude fought back, standing up. "Please, Jude. I want you to get your career straight, I don't want to be a distraction." you said, voice getting weaker. He looked down at you with an upset expression, you didn't dare look back at him, you thought that it would hurt more if you did. "I-- don't understand. My career is straight." Jude protested. "Jude! Fucking listen to me! You're getting big, you need to focus." you placed your hands on his shoulder. Jude stared into your eyes with panicked, solemn eyes, if he'd look closer he would see the tears that you were fighting, if he'd look closer he'd see the pain you were feeling. "But--" Jude stammered. "Please, Jude.." you whispered. You stared deeply into his eyes, seeing your own reflection in them, seeing the tears welling his eyes, his eyes were soft and full of emotions. You felt your tears raging at the sight. It hurt, it hurt so bad.

"If we.. take a break.." his voice shivered at those words.

"Are we still friends? Can we be friends?"

His voice soft, weak, vulnerable. You felt a piece of your heart breaking away, aching every second of the cruel decision you just made. Your body ached like your heart, it felt weak? You sense a sloppy smile form your lips, tears finally fell. You nodded. "Of course, Jude. Before we were together, we were friends. We were always friends." you pulled him into a hug. Even though you were the reason why this happened, it felt like it hurt you more than it hurt him.

Your head hung from his back, you closed your eyes and felt more tears pouring out, hitting the floor. Jude hugs you back instantly, his arms tightening its grip on you by the minute.

"Whatever you're thinking.." you broke the silence. "I love you, I always love you." you heard your words come out like a broken record.

Deep inside Jude's brain he knew you were right. He needed to focus now more than ever. This was the peek of his career and he needed to deal his cards right. But Jude's heart, it shattered, fragments scattered all over his body, his soul. He wanted to say something, anything but his throat gave up on him.

"I--" Jude stammered to find words.

Words cannot explain how much it hurt, no description, no word could explain the feelings that were torn in that moment. Between the two of you, you both seemed somewhat betrayed but deep down the both of you knew that this was so for the inevitable best.

"I'll come back to you, okay?" He sniffled, a weak smile appearing on his face. "I'll come back to you first." you responded, chuckling beneath all the tears.

(this is like my first PURE ANGST post and im lowkey proud!!! lemme know if yall would like part two SO THAT IS WHYYY U SHOULD SMASHH THAT LIKE BUTTON AND SUBSCRIBE, 69 LIKES AND I DELIVER U A PART 2 ON UR DOORSTEP.)

#jude bellingham #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham x you #iluvshinytwink #imsoslaying #jude bellingham imagines

232 notes · View notes

claralouvette · 10 months

Text

💐ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕣𝕦𝕤𝕥 💐

ʜᴀᴡᴋꜱ/ ᴋᴇɪɢᴏ ᴛᴀᴋᴀᴍɪ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

💖Synopsis

A journey of a woman working on a famous hero agency, dreaming and seeking love to hopefully one day she could have a family to call her own. Until one day her heart was shattered by the deceiving act of her fiance who also works at the agency.What would happen if that woman tries to leave the agency, not knowing that a certain feathery guy has feelings for her.

🌼Barely proofread

⚠Warning: Cheating, heartbreak with comfort, Keigo missing you

AO3 || Masterlist

💙Word Count: 6094

Taglist: @mysideeffectsofyou

🌼You are just a simple woman, striving to live her best life in this harsh and unpredictable world. A woman who yearns to create a loving family of her own. Despite being capable and somewhat confident, you face numerous struggles in the dating realm. Awkward interactions, failed connections, and unrequited love have caused you to lose hope in fulfilling your dream. However, everything changed one fateful day when the man you loved reciprocated your feelings and accepted your confession.

If only you had known about the future and his deceitful love for you. You would do anything to turn back time and seize all the missed opportunities.

🌼The memory of that unforgettable day still haunts you. The sight of clothes and undergarments strewn across the floor, revealing your partner entangled with another woman. Unaware of your presence, you were completely caught off guard by this adulterous act, leaving you confused, dejected, and shattered, all forming into one furious emotion. However, you maintain your composure, realizing that acting impulsively would lead nowhere. Instead, you decided to seize their attention. With a deliberate action, you switched on the lights, causing a visible shock to appear on their faces as they realized they had been caught in the act.

🌼A heavy atmosphere filled the dining room, engulfed in an eerie silence. It was the day after you witnessed them entangled in each other's arms. You were surprised by how composed you remained, not wanting to succumb to insanity over your fiancé's betrayal.

The weight of the atmosphere surrounded you, and your partner seemed to sense that you were not yet ready to forget what had transpired the day before. You're a compassionate woman who is merciful enough to give someone another chance, but having your trust and love being discarded so quickly, it was enough for you to cut off all connections you have with them. And that is exactly what you're gonna do with this man, no matter how painful it gets, no matter how many years have been wasted.

“Let’s call off the engagement” you implored abruptly.

“C’mon babe-“ He attempted to respond, reaching out to you, but you cut him off with a firm statement, “don’t ever call me nicknames ever again, i will cut off my ties with you, i will leave the agency movie somewhere else where I will never see you”

“She seduced me okay, it wasn't my fault!” He exclaimed

You scoff “what a terrible excuse” you remarked,

shaking your head in disappointment. Taking a moment to collect yourself, you gathered your belongings, making your way toward the door. With a heavy heart, you turned to face him one last time.

“No amount of apology could ever remove that memory from my mind, my decision is final, goodbye” you said, your voice filled with anger and pain.

•······•······•

🌼Now that has transpired, Let’s introduce you to man who has longed to create a family different from the one he used to have. His name was Keigo Takami, many people know him as Hawks. He is a man of great speed, many people have shown their love and admiration for this man, I mean who doesn't, this man could capture the hearts of any man and woman just by smiling at them. However, amidst all the attention, he seeks for a woman who would join and create a family with, a woman who will capture his heart completely, a woman who will never see him as a trophy but as someone who sees him as their equal.

And then he saw you, you were one of the few newly employed individuals hired into his agency, catching his attention from the very beginning. He couldn't help but be drawn to your genuine smile, and determined eyes, to perform well in the position you got and the way you carried yourself with grace and confidence.

Amidst of his daily hero work, you became his one glimmer of hope. He found himself stealing glances towards you, seeking opportunities to engage in conversation with you. A small talk with you whether asking about your day, or something work related was enough to make him soar among the skies. Sadly, the demanding work of a hero's life left him in a field of missed opportunity as he saw with a heavy heart getting closer to another man.

🌼It’s been a week since the last time he saw you at his agency. As a superior not a secret admirer, it was only natural to be concerned about your overall well being. He couldn't help but think about what might have happened to you. Did something happen between you and your so-called fiance? Just awhile ago he vividly remembered seeing your fiance checking in for his shift, which led him to question what you saw in him.

He doesn't understand why you agreed to marry that man, THAT MAN WHO OPENLY FLIRTS WITH OTHER WOMEN. It’s a clear red flag, waving in plain sight!

🌼When he learned that you accepted his marriage proposal, he was shattered, if only he had the courage and time to approach you sooner, if not because of his demanding hero work and the commission he would've a better chance of sweeping you off your feet. And now, here he sits in his office, alone, left to wonder about your whereabouts.

Concerned, Keigo decided that it's time to reach out to you, he composed himself in front of the computer, he opened his email, carefully choosing the right words to approach you…

•······•······•

Subject: Re: Urgent Notice

hey, this is you boss |

•······•······•

Subject: Re: Urgent Notice

hey, this is |

•······•······•

Subject: Re: Urgent Notice

good evening, this is to |

•······•······•

Subject: Re: Urgent Notice

"go |

•······•······•

Subject: Re: Urgent Notice

“ Dear Y/n,

This is from the hawks agency, as a notice for your 1 week absence |

•······•······•

Subject: Re: Urgent Notice

“ Dear Y/n,

This is from the haw|

•······•······•

Subject: Re: Urgent Notice

“ DAFUQ AM I DOIN |

•······•······•

Subject: Re: Urgent Notice

“ |

•······•······•

Subject: Re: Urgent Notice

“I simp for you Y/n, please simp me too, leave that guy for me, please!!!! |

•······•······•

Subject: Re: Urgent Notice

“ Your email won a raffle promo. You've won a remarkable opportunity to go on a date with none other than the dashing No. 3 Pro Hero of Japan himself! To claim your reward, go into hawks agency |

•······•······•

Subject: Re: Urgent Notice

“ Your ema |

•······•······•

Subject: Re: Urgent Notice- My Serenade |

•······•······•

Subject: Re: Urgent Notice- My Serenade

“Sugar, yes please! Won't you come and put it down on me? I'm right here, 'cause I need Little love, a little sympathy! |

•······•······•

Subject: Re: Urgent Notice- My S |

•······•······•

He sat there, frustration etched across his face, as he grappled with the daunting task of choosing between a formal letter or a casual one. The weight of indecision bore down on him, and he felt a mixture of annoyance and helplessness. With both hands pressed against his temples, he let out a sigh, acknowledging the difficulty of finding the elusive "right" words. The room seemed to echo his inner turmoil, and he couldn't help but wonder why something as simple as email correspondence had him so flustered.

He was frustrated, a pout visibly forming across his face as he struggled to finish a daunting task of sending you a letter of notice. The weight of indecision bore down onto him, he was feeling so hopeless. With both hands pressed against his temples, he let out a sigh, as he fought towards the difficulty of finding the “right words.” He couldn't help but wonder why something as simple as email correspondence had him so flustered, maybe it's because he doesn't want you to see him as a boss, but as something else.

•······•······•

Subject: Re: Urgent Notice - Hawks Agency

Dear [Your Last Name],

Greetings! This is your boss, Hawks, reaching out to you. I hope this message finds you well... or at least, I hope it finds you!

It has come to my attention (and the rest of the agency's) that you've been missing in action for a whole week! Now, I know life can be pretty unpredictable, but I am starting to worry. Are you off on a top-secret mission to save the world? Or did you stumble into a parallel dimension where time works differently?

In all seriousness, we just wanted to check in and make sure everything is alright. Your absence has been duly noted, and while I'm here to discuss the matter at hand, I also want to remind you that as your superior I’m here to support you, no matter what you're going through.

So, drop me a line, send me a smoke signal, or even summon a pigeon messenger! I’m eagerly awaiting your return and a brief explanation (preferably one that doesn't involve ninja assassins or alien abductions).

Take care, [Your Last Name], and remember, the Hawks agency is like one big dysfunctional family. We've got your back... but we're still curious about your mysterious disappearance!

Best regards,

Your Superior, Pro Hero Hawks. |

•······•······•

And with that, he sends off the e-mail, hoping that you would find comfort on the email he wholeheartedly put together.

🌼Not long after he received a reply from you, his happy expression etched has etched across his face, hoping to receive a positive response from you. However, as his eyes glazed through the words on the screen, his happy expression turned into a more concerned, unhappy expression. Your email mentioned how sorry you are for your sudden absence in your field of work, the email vaguely hinted at the possibility of you leaving his agency for good, leaving him much more concerned and confused on what made end to that conclusion.

With such a vague letter, it left him more questions than answers, wanting to learn the reason behind your sudden decision.

He replied back stating that you have to be at his office to discuss this matter further. Hitting “send.” A whole sense of determination washed over him as he knew he had to prepare to face you.

🌼As he thinks about your unforeseen resolution. He carefully observed on the situation, his first theory is that because you are engaged you are looking for a different place to start a new life, but quickly discarded that theory because no man would allow there soon to be wife to be alone looking for a new location to start there life and so he proceeded with the second theory. You fought with your fiance and are now living with a friend until your fiance mustered up the courage to ask you for forgiveness.

But then again that theory alone would not make sense, during his flight in one of his patrols he saw your “fiance” strolling around with another girl. His mind went from one theory to another, hoping to solve this conspiracy, he just hoped that tomorrow you would have the answer to his questions.

🌼The following day came in slowly it is today where your meeting with him as scheduled. As he carries out his duties, investigating some crimes, finishing some paperwork. Impatiently waiting for your arrival, Glancing beside his desk, he focused on the clock, his hand gripping it tightly and shaking it vigorously in frustration. making him question why time seems to move slower than usual.

Finally, he heard a knock at the door of his office indicating that the time for your meeting had arrived. He stood up from his desk saying “come in.”

The door slowly opened revealing you. He was happy to see you in person again, but somehow you looked different, as if some mysterious event had taken a toll on you.

"Y/n, how are you, thank you for coming," Keigo greeted you, his voice laced with genuine concern.

"Please, have a seat." He pulled out a chair for you, gesturing for you to take a seat in front of his office table. You nodded silently and took a seat.

As you settled down, you couldn't help but notice Keigo's genuine expression towards you. Seeing him being this genuinely concerned about you gave you a sense of comfort amidst all the heartbreak you’ve been through.

"Thank you for seeing me, Keigo," you replied, your voice tinged with a hint of exhaustion. "I apologize for my sudden absence and the cryptic email. It's been a challenging time for me."

Keigo leaned forward slightly, his eyes locked on yours. "You don't have to apologize, Y/n. I just want to make sure you're alright. Your well-being is important to me, both as your boss and as someone who cares about you."

It seems that statement has caused you to slightly blush. A sudden fluttering feeling made itself known to you when you made eye contact with your superior eyes. Thought you were sure that was only a fleeting feeling. You appreciate his words nontheless, his words bringing you the much needed comfort.

"I've been through a lot lately," you admitted, your voice trembling slightly.

"There was an incident… my fiance” you scoff at the name you used to call him

“I’m sorry.. My ex, cheated on me, I couldn't afford to see him everyday, not after what I witnessed and everything that has transpired” you fought back the urge to break down, determined to maintain your composure in front of your superior.

Keigo could sense the pain radiating from you, and his heart ached to see you in such distress. A deep desire to comfort you makes him yearn to envelop you in a comforting embrace. However, he knew that it wasn't the appropriate time or place for such an intimate gesture. Instead, he focused on offering you support through his words and empathetic presence, hoping to alleviate some of the burden weighing heavily on your shoulders.

You took a deep breath, gathering your thoughts, sitting still in the chair. The weight of your decision of leaving the agency for good felt heavy, you continued to explain further about your decision.

"It's just... after everything that happened," you began, your voice steady but tinged with emotion,

"I realized that I can't continue like this. The incident with my ex-fiancé, all the betrayal that he did to me, and the heartache that followed... It's been overwhelming, and I need some time to heal."

You paused, searching for the right words to convey the depth of your emotions. Keigo listened attentively, his gaze never leaving you, offering a supportive nod to encourage you to continue.

"I appreciate everything this agency has done for me, and I truly respect you as my superior," you continued. "But I need to step away from this field of work for a while. I’ll look for other job far away from here”

As you spoke, Keigo's brows furrowed slightly, a mixture of surprise and concern on his face. He had hoped that you would find solace and healing within the agency, but he understood that sometimes a change of environment was necessary.

“Maybe i could suggest you to another agency if you'd like-“ he suggested with a hint of hope. However before he could even finish his sentence, you cut him off by expressing your plan.

"Thank you for your concern, Hawks, but I think I'll go back to my hometown for a while to heal and rediscover my dreams," you said, your voice filled with a mix of determination and longing.

"I miss my mom, and it's been a while since the last time I saw her. I believe being with her will bring me the comfort and support I need."

Keigo nodded understandingly, his concern for your well-being evident in his eyes.

“I understand, I hope you would not forget about me though, it’s hard to let go of an employee like you who performs so well in their work” he said, trying to lighten up the mood in between the bittersweet conversation.

A pause occured, keigo knew that he would be seeing you less, no rarely even, perhaps never?! It saddened him, but he knew your healing would be very important. If the red string of fate truly connected the two of you, if your paths were meant to intertwine, he had faith that the universe would find ways to bring you back together.

A sad smile formed across his face, his voice filled with warmth and support hinted with sadness “I hope in time you’ll get better, Y/n. Remember, if you ever need anything or decide to return, our doors will always be open for you."

“Thank you, Hawks” with the final exchange of heartfelt partings, with a slight smile, he painfully watched you walk out of his office, with each step he could feel his heart yearning for you to stay, it’s worse feeling than a heartbreak not being able to see you everyday.

With the door closing, he let his guard down as an immense amount of emotion rushed through him, silently burst into tears, unbeknownst of your lasting impact to him unknowingly stealing his heart. And now with your departure, it was just too much to bear.

•······•······•

🌼Things continued as it is, many months have passed and yet the thought of you remained inside keigo’s head. So many things have happened when you left the agency, he fired the man that broke his heart, he became a number 2 hero, villain attack here and there. But a single question never left keigo’s mind when it came to you, were you doing fine? Are you feeling better? But as always that question is always left unanswered.

🌼Until there was a sudden change of locations for his patrol, it was a lengthy travel flight to the newly assigned civic comparing the distance from the old city he used to patrol, it slightly annoyed him. But he couldn't disregard it anyway, he is a hero. It's his responsibility and his job.

🌼Reaching the city, he looked for a place where he could purchase a can of coffee. Walking at the bustling sidewalk with a usual smile displayed on his face, he could hear the crowds talking about the sight of him.

“Omg its hawks” a person whispered in awe

“Will he be the new one who will patrol our city now?” another person wondered aloud.

“I wanna ask for an autograph” a fan exclaimed

An idea popped inside his head to give out a good impression for the people he swore to protect. With a swift motion, he set his feather into action, his feather swiftly helped every person who was in need of help.

While telepathically controlling his feathers, he spoke up “hey, c’mon guys, chill out, is this your way of greeting your new hero in town?” His words caught the attention of the crowd, and in an instant, people began to gather around him, eager to express their admiration and support.

"Hey Hawks, I hope you'll protect our town!" one person exclaimed, voicing their trust in his abilities.

"Hawks, I'm a big fan! Can I have your autograph?" another fan eagerly requested, holding out a pen and paper.

"Hawks, We love you!" a fan shouted, their enthusiasm echoing through the crowd.

Graciously, he smiled at the outpouring of support and appreciation. Taking a moment to interact with his fans, signing some autographs, smiling for some pictures, leaving a good impression on the people.

🌼The day ended with nothing out of the ordinary, just a usual task of solving some casualties here and there interacting with some town people. As he would prepare for his flight back to his agency, he stopped by a nearby convenience store to finally get his good ol 'can of coffee as he didn't get a chance to get it earlier. As he contemplates among the diverse selection in front of the display. A chime signaled the entrance of a familiar woman accompanied by a teen. The teen might have seen hawk’s wings causing them to whisper to their guardian.

“Sis, look at the hawks! I want a picture with him” the teen whispered

Hawks pretended not to hear, expecting it to be the same interaction just like from the crowd earlier. That is until he heard a familiar voice encouraging the teenager to approach him, immediately shattering his expectations.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Go greet him,” you said, urging the teen, which caused Keigo to snap his view in the direction of your voice, his face displaying full shock and surprise, frozen in disbelief.

Standing in place looking at you caused him to mentally shut down, laughingly, it took him a couple of seconds to gather himself up and grasp on the situation making sure that he was not hallucinating about you, standing in front of him in the same town and convenience store.

With a playful glimmer in his eyes mixed with astonishment and puzzled expression, he whispered “Hey kid, can I ask you a favor? Can you pinch my face?”

With his mind still processing the reality of your presence, the teenager on the other hand, was caught off guard by their idol’s request. Bewildered, the teenager exchanged glances with you before reaching out to pinch Keigo’s cheek. He felt a slight pain, the touch was real, and suddenly a burst of laughter escaped Keigo’s lips.

“Okay , I'm definitely not hallucinating,” he confirmed, chuckling, wiping a fake tear from his eyes. Shifting his gaze onto the teenager who’s in a middle of pure awe and perplexed, he couldn't believe that he just pinched his favorite hero, it was better than getting a photo.

“Omg, sis! I just pinched him!” the teenager jumped in pure joy, while you smiled in return.

Keigo stoodstill in place, smiling, gazing between you and your brother, until his eyes only focused on you, a faint fantasizing smile formed on his face. He couldn't help but notice the change you had since the last time he had seen you. You are glowing, so beautiful in his line of sight like a goddess waiting to be worshiped, his inner instincts telling him to swiftly get you off of your feet and go for an elope, shaking away the thought.

He couldn't believe that you were actually in front of him, his mind racing to try and find the right words to express his astonishment on seeing you again. However, the words just stumbled out of his mouth, it's like dropping a ton of books in the process.

"Y/n, wow! This is... this is, um... wow” fumbling into his words, his cheeks slightly tinted with a rosy hue.

"You look... beautiful. I mean, really beautiful." He chuckled softly, attempting to regain his composure. "I'm sorry, I'm just... surprised. It's great to see you again."

“Me too hawks,” you started, “congrats on being a number two hero” greeting him with a smile

“Thanks, but oh my god! How are you? I have so many questions!” He paused, patting the head of your brother. Your brother seemed to like the action before continuing “and who is this?”

“He’s my brother, his a fan of you” you smiled warming up to the conversation

“So I'm guessing you're gonna be the new hero guarding my hometown?” You asked in wonder if the rumors from the crowd a while ago.

When Keigo learned that this was your hometown, he couldn’t believe it! it's as if the Gods had heard his prayers. He wanted to kneel down and ask for forgiveness on how annoyed he was coming to the city. He felt so blessed being assigned to this city, it doesn't matter if it would tire his wings traveling here, but if it meant getting a chance to meet you? No complaints there.

"Oh, I see! Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, little guy," Keigo said, addressing your brother with a warm smile as he patted his head again, earning a delighted response from the young fan.

As the conversation continued, Keigo found himself drawn to your presence, hanging onto every word you spoke. He chuckled at your question about being the new hero in town, nodding in confirmation.

"Yeah, it looks like I'll be patrolling your hometown now. So, you're back here too, huh?" he replied, his smile growing wider. "It's incredible how the universe works sometimes. I couldn't have imagined that I'd have the chance to see you again like this."

His heart just swelled in pure bliss knowing being assigned on patrolling this city may bring the two of you together. His mind is already thinking of the possible future, envisioning genuine friendships, to dates filled with love. His mind even goes as far as imagining his way of serenading you, to accept his marriage proposal. But he's getting ahead of himself. He knew that building a future together required a solid foundation of friendship and understanding. So, he focused on cherishing each interaction, getting to know you better, and allowing the connection between you to grow naturally.

But Keigo couldn't help but feel excited at the prospect of what the future might hold for the two of you. And as he bid you farewell that day, a sense of anticipation lingered within him, fueling his determination to make the most of this newfound opportunity. This time he is determined to win your heart, he is not gonna let some other guy throw your love like that ever again.

🌼From small encounters to small visits, the relationship between you and the famous No. 2 hero deepened. With every encounter and conversation, each became more meaningful and genuine as the time carried on. He would always look forward to visiting you and your mother’s little flower shop during break, cherishing the quiet moments together.

At some point, your mother has noticed Keigo’s genuine feeling towards you, the way Keigo treats you with care and respect, she could tell that Keigo loves you dearly. Not that she disapproves of him, she actually appreciates what keigo’s been doing, he has a significant impact on helping you move on from your previous relationship, helping you find new ways to smile with each passing day. Your mother could see that he was not just any man; he was someone who cherished you deeply and would do anything to see you happy.

Which led your mother to ask Keigo this simple request. 😊💖

🌼it has become his routine of visiting you on your mother’s little flower shop, with a delectable chicken take-out on his hands. His mind is just focused on the thought of seeing you again after such a long day of patrol. You became his solace, all of the tiredness, pain all just seems to diminish whenever you are in his line of sight. His anticipation of seeing you again, to see your smiling face grew stronger.

Upon arriving at the rear side of the shop, he knocked expecting you to open it, instead it was your mother who answered the door in your place.

“Hello, Hawks” she greeted Keigo with a warm smile, gesturing him to enter the shop “come in”

“Hello, madam! How was your day?” Keigo asked, his eyes scanning the shop in search of you placing down the chicken he had bought on the small table behind the counter.

“Thank you, Hawks” Your mother replied gratefully, She notices his gaze looking around for you, as you always be the first one to greet him, during his breaks. Sensing his curiosity , she spoke up “She went to buy a few groceries with her brother, I'm sure they’ll be back in a while,” your mother explained, answering Keigo's unspoken question of your absence.

“I see,” he paused, nervously fidgeting with his finger trying to find the right words to talk to your mother. Your mother, on the other hand, noticed his unease and decided to ask him a direct question.

“Do you love my daughter?” she asked, her eyes observing Keigo's shocked reaction.

Keigo's mind raced, caught off guard by the directness of the question. A whirlwind of thoughts and emotions flooded his thoughts, leaving him torn between honesty and caution. As he hesitated, your mother noticed his worry and let out a gentle chuckle, breaking the tension in the room.

“Don’t worry I'm not going to kick you out, you can answer it honestly” she reassured him, putting keigo at ease

Relieved by her understanding and open-mindedness, Keigo took a deep breath and met your mother's gaze with sincerity.

"Mada- no. Mrs. L/N, I care for your daughter deeply," he admitted, his voice filled with a mix of tenderness and determination. "She has become someone incredibly special to me. I want to support her, protect her, and be there for her in any way I can. I can't deny the feelings I have for her."

Your mother's eyes softened, touched by Keigo's genuine expression. She nodded, understanding the depth of his emotions and the sincerity in his words.

"Thank you for your honesty, Hawks," she said, her voice filled with warmth.

"I can see how much you care for her, and I appreciate that. My daughter deserves someone who truly cherishes her. I don't want her to experience those hardships ever again, it’s hard seeing my daughter like that, knowing as a mother I can't do anything to fix their relationship, or bring back the time before she started a relationship with that pathetic man.” your mother expressed with concern and protectiveness.

Keigo listened attentively to your mother’s words, fully understanding the weight of her worries. Gathering his thoughts, finding the right words, he spoke

“I’m also actually scared about something, maam” He admitted,

“I’m scared that I might also hurt her, this hero's duties it's not easy to manage, I’m scared that I might hurt her in the process by not being beside her. I’m scared that I might turn into a man that she will hate. I’m scared that I might-” Your mother placed a reassuring hand on his, snapping him out of his thoughts. Keigo's earnestness touched your mother's heart, and she could see the sincerity in his eyes.

"I believe in you, Hawks," she said softly. "Life is never without challenges, but it's how we face them that matters. I can see the love you have for my daughter, and I trust that you will do your best to make her happy. Just be there for her, support her dreams, and love her with all your heart. That's all a mother can ask for."

Keigo felt a sense of gratitude towards your mother for understanding his fears and offering her support. He knew that he couldn't predict the future, but he was determined to give his all to make your relationship work. He squeezed your mother's hand gently, a silent promise of his commitment to you.

"Thank you, Mrs. [Last Name]," Keigo said sincerely. "I will treasure her with all my heart and do my best to be the man she deserves.

“So um, do I have permission to court her? Just making sure…” Keigo asked out of weariness, fidgeting in place, earning a laugh out from your mom.

“You're so adorable,” your mom remarked laughing softly, “how could my daughter capture such an adorable, handsome young man’s heart, and not notice his feelings for her? such a mystery.”

Keigo was used to being called handsome from his fans all the time, but hearing those compliments from your mother made him slightly blush, feeling flustered with a mix of relief at your mother’s words.

“Well, feelings are complicated maam, I only realized my feelings for her when that douche proposed to her. It only worsened when I learned that guy cheated on her,I had to gather all my strength not to lose control and do something regrettable." he confessed

Your mother listened to his words attentively, her face filled with empathy and was astonished at his revelation, “oh you had feelings for my daughter for that long?” she exclaimed, in surprise “my , my im so sorry if my daughter kind of broken you heart”

Keigo shook his head gently, a small smile forming on his lips. "Please don't apologize, Ma’am. It's not your daughter's fault at all. These things happen, and sometimes it takes time for us to recognize and understand our own emotions. Besides, I believe everything happens for a reason. It led me to this moment, where I can be honest about my feelings and seek your blessing to pursue a future with her."

Your mother's expression softened, touched by Keigo's mature perspective. "You're a remarkable young man, Hawks," she remarked, her voice filled with admiration. "To have held your feelings for her for so long, and to still be here, genuinely caring for her despite the pain you endured, it speaks volumes about your character."

Keigo's cheeks turned slightly pink, and he lowered his gaze humbly.

“You have my blessing to pursue a future with my daughter, to make her happy and to build a strong, loving relationship together." Keigo's eyes lit up with gratitude and relief.

"Thank you, Ma’am. I won't let you down. I'll always be there for her, through thick and thin, and I'll do my best to be the partner she deserves."

Your mother smiled, her heart filled with joy. "I trust you, Hawks. Take good care of my daughter, and may your love story be filled with happiness and endless love."

🌼Just in time, your brother entered the room, happily greeting hawks with a hug you following following behind carrying a couple of grocery bags. Hawks using a couple of feathers to help you.

“Aye! Bro hawks!” your brother greeted, a visible smile formed in his face happily seeing his favorite hero in the room.

Getting into the same height as your brother “Heyo, Kid!, guess what”

“what ?”

“I bought your favorite flavored chicken yo!” he gestured into the table, to show the plentiful take out of chicken still hot in place waiting to be eaten.

“Woahhhhhhhhhh” your brother exclaimed in amazed, giggling, excited to feast on the chicken.

As your brother stares amazed by the mouth watering spread of chicken feast waiting to be eaten, and your mother helps you to organize the groceries. Keigo slowly approached you from behind with a mischievous smile forming on his face. Immediately without any warning he kissed you on your cheek, giving a you a warm welcome “welcome back, Dove~”

Shock wide eye by the sudden action, with a full red blush forming across your cheeks. Glancing at your mother who only seemed to smile back at you with her hand hovering above her mouth, leaving you in a flustered & embarrassed mess

”What was that Hawks!” you asked, your voice betraying your flustered state as you tried to process the unexpected display of affection.

Keigo chuckled softly, his eyes filled with adoration as he looked at you. "Nothing... I just wanted to show you how I feel," he replied, his voice filled with sincerity. "You know... how I feel about you."

You shook your head, you don't know how or what you should say, you're not really ready to enter a new relationship, and with your former superior and the number 2 hero? It felt extremely daunting. Keigo noticed your tensed state, knowing full well that you are not ready yet.

“Hey, would you give me a chance?” he asked, asking for your permission, his voice filled with sincerity. “Give me a chance to court you? Show you how much you meant to me?”

Looking up to him, staring back into his eyes showing much affection and earnestness. You Worriedly glanced at your mother, who is giving you an approving smile. Gathering many thoughts, you have decided.

“Keigo” you began, voice filled with honesty “i really appreciate what you’ve done for me, but I’m so sorry, but I dont think I’m ready”

"I promise, Keigo, I'll give you a chance," you said, your voice filled with sincerity. "I want to get to know you better, to see where this could lead. But I need us to take things slowly, at my own pace."

A genuine smile spread across Keigo's face, his eyes reflecting hope and patience. He took a step closer, gently reaching out to hold your hand. "I wouldn't want it any other way," he replied, his voice laced with tenderness. "We'll take it one step at a time, together."

Fin...

Author's notes:

I'm sorry if it was long, Should i do part 2???

117 notes · View notes

ywpd-translations · 1 year

Text

Ride 728: Kaburagi's buddy!!

Pag 1/2

The tickets for the Inter High are only six!! Those fateful regular jerseys.... snatch them with your hands!!

Pag 3

1: Third lap!!

3: And it's just us!!

4: I started the third lap of the Sohoku training camp being at the top, by far the best among the first years!!

5: Me!! I, Murakami Toyoka, will never again show mercy to anyone!!

Pag 4

1: He's not coming....

2: Tch, again? Kaburagi-san

3: That day, Danchiku said “I'll come”....

5: I'll come to the training camp!!

I'll stand on the start line and we'll run together!! That's my intention!!

6: He said that, and yet....

Pag 5

1: I wanted to go to the Inter High together...

Dammit!!

2: It's alright!! It's alright, Kaburagi-san!!

Uhm, I'm sure.... it's just a delay and they're late!!

If thie guy's spirit breaks now I'm in trouble!! I have to stir him up again and make him run forward

3: If he doesn't pull me, I'm in trouble!!

He'll come soon!!

4: Earlier, at the start line, when we crossed the goal, I saw Touji-san's van

5: Huh!?

7: The fact that they're here and he still doesn't come on the course....

Danchiku's bad condition is...

Pag 6

1: It's not like this, is it!?

Pag 7

1: Do you see the course, Danchiku?

You see? They're struggling

…. yes

It's like I told you earlier in the car

2: You can't ride that bike anymore

3: You should stop

5: …. yes

7: Instead of that

Pag 8

1: Ride this!!

Pag 9

1: It took me a while to prepare this before leaving

It's the same manifacturer as the one you rode, but it's an old model

The components are old, and the wheels are an intermediate level, too

2: And the sadlle is cracked too

4: But it serves its purpose well

5: If you want to ride in this training camp with the bike you've always used, you probably

6: Wouldn't be able to run!!

7: …. huh

You're saying that.... the cause for my bad condition.... is my “bike”!?

Pag 10

1; You could say that, but not really

2: Two weeks ago, Onoda came to me

3: to get some advice regarding your situation

Ah... uhm, uh- that's what I wanted to talk about

4: I talked with Imaizumikun and Naruko-kun too, but I still.... uhm... I can't decide

5: Should I let Danchiku-kun run in the training camp? Or should I stop him? I can't decide

7: He himself said he wants to run

8: He still has next year

Pag 11

1: I also think he shouldn't push himself too hard

3: You really look like a captain now, Onoda....

Yeah

4: Miki told me about this too

5: There must be praparations to do, you focus on that

I'll take care of Danchiku

6: I'll reach out to him every day

I'll talk to him, wait and see, and then make a decision

7: Thank you, you must be busy, but thank you so much!

8: He worked very hard on Minegayama

And then

9: When I heard he was having troubles with his bike, I started worrying too

Pag 12

2: I looked after you, your attitude

4: And I found the answer!!

6: It's “moving forward”

Run in the training camp, Danchiku!!

Pag 13

1: …. ah, but I've been feeling like there's something wrong with my joints since after the Minegayama race.... I went to the hospital many times and still, even now...

2: There, it was just a coincidence that it happened right after the Minegayama race...

3: That's why it confused you

4: Confused!?

5: “You have no self-confidence”, that's the main cause of your bad condition

…..“Confidence”!?

6: Stand up and look closely around you

7: And then look at yourself!!

8: If you think about it, it's easy

Even going to the hospital, you wouldn't know

You're....

Pag 14

1: Growing

You've gotten much bigger

Pag 15

1: It's your height!!

2: Huh!?

3: Second year of high school is a growing period and you're becoming much bigger!!

Pag 16

1: Huh, but....

My height!?

2: During growth period, there'll be big growing spurts that makes you feel bad

You tried to hide your bad condition, and you blamed the victory on Minegayama

3: You were so worried you couldn't even see yourself, weren't you?

4: Yes!!

5: Pains and creaking joints are all “growing pains”

The fact that you didn't have time to adapt is your bike's fault

6: You know this too – just like shoes have a size, road bikes also have specific sizes

7: If your body doesn't match the bike's size, you won't have power nor speed

8: That why it's the “bike”!!

9: I prepared it yesterday

The frame is old, but

Pag 17

1: It's just the right size for your body now!!

Pag 18

1: What....

“Just the right size”.....!!

2: What is this

3: It adapts to my body....

It's connected to my body

4: It feels like I can move forward as I want!!

Pag 19

1: This feels so good!

I'm riding a bike and it feels just like back then!!

2: Believe in yourself

Get on the course and run with all your strength

3: It's alright

As much as you've suffered this past half a year

4: Now grow as much as you want!!

Yes!!

Pag 20

2: Sixth..... lap!!

3: Danchiku...

4: Dammit!! Our pace has been going down since earlier!!

What the hell is this guy doing!!

5: Looking at the times on the board, Kinaka and Rokudai are ressing on with all their strengths

This is bad!!

6: Dammit!! Who cares about Danchiku!!

7: At this point we won't go the Inter High this year....

It's impossible, huh....

8: The pace....

9: ….chiku....

Pag 21

1: He's not coming, Danchiku-san is not coming!!

Until when are you gonna whining like this!!

Come one, give up on that delusion and run with me please!!

3: Ah- no no no

Sorry, I didn't mean, uhm....

Dammit, I said what I really think

4: Kaburagi-san looks so dumbfounded!!

Pag 22

1: I.... I said too much, I'm sorry

Can you forgive me? Neh? Senpai

5: Ah- the buddy sticker!? Kaburagi-san!?

6: Pick it up later, Murakami

You threw it away!?

8: The way he's ducking his head, that acceleration, and that dancing

I've seen them so many times....

I can recognize him right away even from a distance....!!

Pag 23

1: You promised me, didn't you?

And now you're crying!?

2: I told you, didn't I?

3: Who....?

It's no use, it has to be you

4: W.... ah

5: Danchiku

Pag 24

1: We're the legends of team SS!!

I made you wait so long!! Issa!!

Pag 25

3: No one but me can be your buddy!!

Hahaha that's right, Danchiku!!

Pag 26

2: A while ago, also Onoda came on the course

3: And Danchiku joines us, too

From now on

4: We're finally starting for real!!

#yowamushi pedal #yowapeda #yowamushi pedal manga #yowapeda manga #yowamushi pedal spoilers #yowamushi pedal translations #ride 728 #!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#such a good good satisfying chapter!!!#i am SO glad that danchiku is actually okay ;A;#even though its ridiculous to me that he didnt notice he literally became a giant asdsgfdhgfjh #look at how freaking tall he is now!! he's grown so so much!!! A Giant!!!!! i love him hes so dumb #but ofc he has to be dumb to be issa's friend #also that literally no one else noticed???? how???? sohoku is a team of dumb people okay #i mean we been know but still they confirm themseves as being even more dumb than we thought! amazing #on another note........#now im not so rue anymore about who'll go to the IH #until last chap i thought danchiku wouldnt go #but now......WHATS GOING TO HAPPEEEEEEN #also now im guessing itll be a battle between Kabu&Danchiku and Kinaka&Roku #and tbh it should be obviously kabu and danchiku who win right?#i mean theyre obviously stronger #so????#I AM CONFUSED I HAVE NO IDEA WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN #this is so exciting but also so stressing oh my god

101 notes · View notes

oddsconvert · 2 years

Text

Shattered #6 - Waking Nightmare

Previous / Masterlist / Next

CW: Whumpee thinks Caretaker is new Whumper, Vampire Caretaker, Reference to vampire whumper/previous abuse/captivity, Bloodbag Whumpee, Recovery/Rescue, Fear of death, Denial, Paranoia, conditioned whumpe (I think!), Drugs/Medication, Loss of speech, hypnosis/mind control

Taglist: @octopus-reactivated @whatwasmyprevioususername @ramadiiiisme @darkthingshappen @whumpsday @thecyrulik @t0rture-me @redwhump @keep-beach-city-werid @snowstuffscuff @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @wolfeyedwitch @interdimensional-chaos @no-terms-and-conditions-apply @whump-blog @leyswhumpdump @not-a-space-alien @onlybadendings @darlingwhump @sparrowsage @flynnswhumpprompts @whumpcereal @wolves-and-winters @ashh-ed @idkmansomeusername @whuarri @33-sdtr-45 @pigeonwhumps @canislycaon24 @the-whumpers-grimm @endlesscyclezz @predacon-skydrift @morning-star-whump (please let me know if I've missed you or if you'd like to be added!)

Pain.

That was the only thing Declan understood when his thoughts sprung back to life, wading through the empty, cloudy abyss of his mind. Nothing else seemed to make any sense in that moment.

How…can I feel that?

He shouldn’t know that he’s in excruciating pain, he shouldn’t be able to think or even feel. It… it just wasn’t possible.

It’s been so long; like eternities have passed, lifetimes lived since he was last able to hear the sound of his own voice reverberate deep in his own mind. It didn’t even sound like his own anymore, it sounded so strange and so far away. But it was coming back to him slowly, and that voice was so scared.

Feeling. Declan thought he’d miss it; he remembers how terrified he felt the day when all the sensation began to drain from his body, when his consciousness started floating away from reach and he knew he was slipping under, to never wake. All the kicking and screaming, the desperate fighting to stay in control and to survive, it all fell short in the end. He was always fighting a losing battle, doomed from the very second he first locked eyes with the vampire in his own home.

Although, it’d also be a downright lie to say there wasn’t a sense of relief when he felt the persuasion finally win, taking over and stealing his last bout of strength. There’d be no more fear, blissfully unaware of the horrors being inflicted upon him, of the things his body was forced to do and yet helpless to resist.

But he couldn’t bring himself to miss feeling; not when it was like this. Agony ripping its way through every fibre of his being. Feeling so drained and weak, in this moment he could just let go and give in - allow himself to fall back under the sweet lull of unconsciousness and leave it up to fate’s decision of whether to pull him back. Afterall there can be nothing good awaiting him when he wakes. There never is.

Declan knows that’s the wrong decision, and so he fights against himself to sluggishly force open his eyes. Thick eyelashes flutter across his vision as he rapidly blinks away from the sudden onslaught of blinding light.

A thick haze covers his eyes but he knows one thing for certain and the thought sends waves of crashing panic through his already fatigued body.

He’s not down in Vince’s basement. The chafing shackle that’s normally clamped to his ankle, rubbing the skin red, raw and bloody isn’t there, although the tender ache still lingers. There’s warmth for once, violent shivers don't trickle down his skin - in fact, he can feel a comforting pressure weigh on top of him and if he wasn’t so used to deprivation and cruelty, he could swear that he remembers… and he recognises it as the sensation of a blanket.

All that doesn’t distract from how broken beyond belief, and how mangled his body feels. A weak groaning cry slips out and he shuffles in discomfort, but all his muscles feel like a mixture of lead and fire. Even his sore throat seems to close up after the miniscule noise it’s able to make.

Minutes pass, and the nauseating wave of vision seems to settle slightly, his eyes dart around the strange bedroom he finds himself in. This isn’t even Vince’s house let alone the basement. Where the fuck is he?! Where has Vince taken him?! His breath quickens into hyperventilations, fogging up the weird domed mask strapped to his face. With slow, pained movements, he rips it off and hurls it towards the ground.

Fight or flight kicks in and he's picking flight. Not a chance is he sticking around and playing ‘good little blood-bag’ this time. It's a miracle that he's awake and alert again, he'd be a fool not to use it to his advantage to run.

Once Declan’s eyes land on the myriad of needles injected into him, connected to numerous IV stands, monitors beeping by his bedside - he freaks. There’s no stopping the falling of petrified tears that stream down as he begins ripping at all the tubes, snatching them out from his hand and arms. He doesn’t want to know what Vince is pumping into his veins, something to keep him weak and subdued, something to kill him? It’s probably something to make him taste nicer, he imagines. That's the sort of sick shit his captor would pull.

But one yank of the needles is a pull too hard, and one of the IV stands topples to the ground with a mighty thud. Declan’s life flashes before his eyes, letting out a shuddery fear-filled cry.

There’s not a chance in hell that whoever is here with him in this house didn’t hear the bang. Vince was probably storming his way up the stairs now to compel and force him out the bed and whip seven shades of hell into him. Vince can’t do that to him, he’s too weak, way too fragile.

It’s a race against the clock, Declan has to push past all the hurt and get out of his new prison as soon as possible. Whilst he’s not restrained, whilst he’s not under persuasion, and whilst it’s still daylight. It’s the perfect once in a lifetime opportunity - he can escape.

Declan’s head rumbles with a tremendous thunderclap headache striking against his skull, a deafening screech rings against his ears. He slams his palms over the side of ear and lets out a weak screech whilst the room spins around him - he just wants it to stop.

After casting one more panicked glance around, he freezes in place when the creak of the door comes to his ears. Someone is entering the room, his heart thuds to a stop in his chest. When his eyes connect with the harrowing crimson one’s that glimmer with excitement.

He wishes he’d never come back to life.

It’s not Vince standing in the doorway. It’s a vampire, it’s fang-filled overjoyed smile beams at him but it’s a stranger.

A blood-curdling sound of a hoarse, howling scream ripples through the room, wailing in unbridled fear, frantically scrambling back up the bed despite his body protesting in agony.

So many questions spin around in his mind. Who is holding him captive? Where the hell is Vince? Did Vince…give him away?

He never thought he’d say this but he wants Vince, he needs him. He’s familiarity. The creature begins to stalk towards him but Declan lets out a horrified gasp and folds over under the blankets and burrows his forehead deep into the mattress, screeching into the fabric. He can’t look. This cannot be real, please don’t let it be real.

He can’t do this. Another vampire? A-Another master? Maybe he did something bad, misbehaved and Vince got rid of him. He’d tried so hard to be good, he didn’t want to go through this all over again.

August takes gentle steps forward, shaking the elated smile from his face. He doesn’t mean to spook the boy. It’s just… he can’t believe he’s actually awake - aware. It’s a miracle, they actually did it.

“Declan, please. I won’t hurt-”

August can’t even finish his sentence before another petrified sob roars out at the mere sound of his voice, Declan’s fists weakly clench the bed sheet, bundled material in his palm, his entire body is shaking like a leaf. He curls his legs up, in and towards his chest, a perfect balled shape of terror. Declan keeps his eyes screwed shut, praying that when he re-opens them he’ll wake up and be back in the basement, on his filthy mattress. Hopping from one nightmare to the next but at least he was familiar with his old nightmare, it was his normal. He knew the monster lurking with it, he didn’t know this monster stood before him. Nor did he want to.

There’s no forcing this, August knows he risks only traumatising the poor thing if he pushes this any further. It’s like a stake to the heart knowing how much he’s fought for Declan to be awake, here and now and yet in this moment, he’s the one thing that terrifies the boy the most.

“Hey, hey! Listen, it’s okay! I’ll go…I’m going to leave now, okay? But I’m going to send my friend Lucas in here to talk to you…he’s a human”.

Declan doesn’t show any sign that he’s even heard the vampire's soft words of reassurance, he’s too lost in the hysteric choking sobs and vicious trembling to even hear the light patter of feet exit the room, and another set re-enter.

When Lucas comes in, Declan hasn’t moved an inch, he’s still hidden under the covers and softly crying to himself. This isn’t how it was supposed to go, he was supposed to be happy and feel safe. Lucas had never seen such fear in his life, the boy looks like he’ll die of shock at any moment.

“Hey, Declan. There’s no reason to be frightened. No-one’s going to hurt you.”

Declan won’t uncoil from his ball but his crying does seem to settle down, he begins listening intently. No-one will hurt him because they don’t need to, they can just force him to do whatever they want. He won’t fall for their lies.

“August; the vampire who came in here before, he really won’t hurt you, you know? If it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t be here today, you’d be six feet under”. Declan whimpers and recoils at that statement, tears silently tracking down his cheeks. He felt like he’d slow danced with death and lived to tell the tale. He hated feeling so exhausted and weak, that’s how he always felt whenever Vince fed from him.

He won’t thank his captors for saving him for their own purposes. If anything that was cruel of them.

“He only wants to help you. You’ve been through hell and back. He’s been nursing you back to health, helping you recover and sitting by your bedside every waking moment. Please would you give him the chance? Hear him out? He can explain everything”.

Declan’s head pops up from over the blanket, eyes full of suspicion and terror. He performs a weak nod and buries his head back under.

Lucas tries to figure out a way to comfort him, to give him an out if he gets spooked.

“Hey. Do you reckon you’ve got another scream in you?”

Declan’s eyes grow wide, his fingers clench the blanket and he shuffles back, huffing panicked breaths.

“Oh shit, no. That was poor wording, I’m sorry- What I mean is… if it gets too much, if he scares you or does anything you don’t like; scream. Like you did before. I’ll come immediately and drag him out, okay? Do you think you can do that?” Lucas wants to hit himself, he can tell he just triggered Declan and set off horrific memories.

Declan sits and ponders for a moment. As though he’s cautious as to whether to trust but also calculating whether he can even manage another scream. He surrenders, weakly nodding in agreement.

“Deal. If you scream, he goes - no questions asked. He will never hurt you - he won’t do a single thing you don’t want, he just wants to help”, Lucas beams a warm smile before leaving and seeing the vampire back in once again.

Declan thought he’d be ready to see the creature walk back in, but it still shakes him to the core. The breaths pause in his lungs and he freezes in place, cowering behind the blanket. But August doesn’t approach him this time, and doesn't come anywhere near the bed. He perches midway on the floor, sits crossed-legged and leaves a good amount of distance between them.

“Is here okay?”.

Declan peeks over the blanket, giving a short, timid nod of his head and he weakly perches himself up on the bed as much as he can, grimacing and whimpering with every slight movement.

“I thought I’d give you a bit of a rundown on what’s happened; your situation”.

Declan swallows the lump of nerves with a gulp. He knows what's coming, he knows he’s about to be told that he now belongs to this bloodsucker and he’s entirely at his mercy. Must be at his beck and call. He’s been through this before.

“Vince-”

“V-Vin..ce-” Declan’s face pales, as he cuts August off with his croaking words…his first words. They’re raspy and it burns with every letter. He hasn’t used his voice in so long, his vocal chords are shot - he can’t even talk. August can see the nauseating panic at the mention of his tormentor's name.

August stands, walking over to a dresser by the window and rummaging through the drawers and pulling out a notebook and pen. He takes it over towards Declan, not oblivious to the way he tenses and tries to shimmy away but he holds out the items for the human to take.

“Can you read and write?”.

Declan nearly bursts into tears again at the question. He feels so pathetic and useless, he used to be so bright, educated, a whole life laid out before him. He could go somewhere in life and make something of himself. Now he was just a prisoner, tossed between vampire owners. Suffering and unable to even string together a few words. There’s no way to even beg for mercy or for his freedom.

But he can’t even express all those woes. So he shallowly nods and accepts the handbook with trembling hands when August hands it over.

He wants the old Declan back. The person he was before he was taken. He misses him so much, and he knows who he is now is worlds apart from the Declan before. But there’s no way to go back, undo all the damage. He knows all he can do is push forward with this new, broken version.

“If you ever want to talk, ask for anything or ask a question then just write it on there, okay?” August’s voice is so softly spoken, but he can tell it’s doing nothing in the way of calming him down.

Declan sniffles, wiping at his nose and begins flicking through all the empty pages of the notebook and nodding again. It’s so obvious that Declan wants to speak, ask a million questions but it just hurts too much to only let out rasping breaths of words.

“What if I help you? With your voice? We can work on vocal exercises and language therapies, try and rework those synapses that have probably been fried, hey? We’ll get you talking again, I promise.”

Declan bites his lips, and pops the cap off the pen beginning to scribble into the notebook. The first thing he writes:

Where is Vince?

“Not here. Far away. Never getting near you again, never hurting you again. To put it simply; you’re free, Declan”.

His lip quivers, tears filling up in his eyes but he’s so confused and so conflicted that he doesn’t know what to believe.

“F…F-ree?”, the word seems so foreign and heavy, weighing a ton as it rolls off his tongue. He wants to scramble all the letters up and shove them back in his mouth, knowing it’d be stupid to let himself fall into the trap - the false lure of safety. Those beady red eyes staring at him are a reminder that he can’t trust a word the vile monster says. It’s all just a sick mind game to make him compliant.

“You’re not a prisoner within my household. Your only purpose within my home is to recover and heal. That’s all I ask of you. Vince sold you to me, in fact, he probably assumes you’re dead by now. He will not come looking”.

Wait… Vince sold him?

What had he done? Wasn’t he good enough? Maybe he stopped tasting nice, and August bought him cheap for the nasty tasting blood. His new master. Oh god, this must all be a trick, Vince is in on it or even given him away for training or a test!

His new master is teaching him how to be a better bloodbag. But Vince will come back for him, he knows that deep in his heart. The vampire had told him he’d always find him no matter where he was.

“I’m a doctor, some call it veterinarian..."

Because they think of you as animals - he daren't add on to that.

"I saw the advertisement and I - I couldn’t just let you go to some ravenous vampire to drain you dead. I bought you so I could save you”.

Of course, it all makes sense now. Declan must have fallen ill, his blood must have tasted awful. His master has sent him away to patch him up so he’ll taste delicious when he next feeds. He knew there was something coming, he knew there was a catch and this place couldn’t be trusted. He sees through the delusion.

It doesn’t matter what words come out of August’s mouth now, Declan won’t hear a word of it. His mind is set in that his new master is manipulating him, it’s all a lie.

Thankfully, August had left Declan for the remainder of the day, said to get some rest and wrap his head around his rescue. He had very nearly let out a wheezing scoff at that but fought to bite it back, to avoid punishment.

He had tried to get some sleep but all he could do was cocoon himself in the blankets and stare lost at the walls, feeling so numb and tired. He couldn’t mediate the best approach in his mind; he knew he had to be good to avoid more pain but at the same time he was terrified out of his wits. He just wanted to go home.

Lucas broke him out of his spiralling train of thoughts when he barged through the bedroom door with a tray of food, making Declan jump with a panicked yelp.

“You don’t know how relieving it is to bring this up to you! Beats the syringe, for sure!” Lucas elates as he slams the steaming food down onto his lap. Declan pulls a befuddled face.

“Aah, don’t worry about it-” Lucas brushes the comment off.

Declan ignores his food and immediately reaches for his notebook, quickly scribbling and holding it up towards him.

Are you his prisoner?

Lucas sits in deep thought for a moment. There’s no point confusing the already petrified boy, delving into the pair's friendship and history. He flashes a consoling smile.

“No. Just a friend”.

Declan’s eyes light up with hope. Like all the stars have aligned and the gods are finally granting him what was his dying wish. He rips the page free and crumples it in his fist, throwing it to the side of the bed, urgently writing his new message.

Please help me escape

Lucas’ heart breaks into a million pieces. He’s still not getting it, he won’t listen to them.

“Declan, I - you’re not a prisoner… there’s nothing to escape from. Nothing to be scared of. He’s helping you, you’re very sick.”

The flicker of hope in his eyes is vacuumed from his soul, leaving only the cold realisation and fear. Declan doesn’t listen, he cries, frantically shaking his head. He circles the word ‘please’ over and over until the page becomes awash with black spirals and squiggles, the paper ripping apart under the pressure of the pen and Lucas puts a hand on top of Declan’s to stop him, hushing his growing sobs.

“You’re safe here. I swear to you. No-one will ever hurt you, you’ll never have to do anything you don’t want to do ever again.”

“H- H..ome…” Declan cries out desperately.

“I know, bud… I know. You will go home, I promise. But in good time. You need to heal.”

“Nnnn!”

Declan tries to climb out of the bed, throwing the covers off of him and sending the plate of food flying and smashing to the ground. His muscles fail him, he crumples weightlessly to the floor. August rushes into the room at the sound of the thud, speeding over to help Lucas lift him back into the bed by his arms but they have to do so against a weakling thrashing Declan, who’s growing hysterical and inconsolable. Screaming and groaning in protest.

He thinks he’s going to be punished. The vampire just caught him trying to leave, trying to escape. He’s going to be compelled to remain paralysed in the bed and then he’ll be helpless and unable to leave. They’re keeping him weak so he can’t fight back. But if his new master feeds on him whilst he’s so fragile, he’ll kill him.

Whilst August drags Declan into bed, Declan manages to slip out and crumbles to his knees on the floor and crooks his head to the side, trying to trap the rocketing sobs. He silently prays that August will only take a little bit to tide him by. The fear clouds his every thought and he doesn’t want to do this but he knows it's what the bloodsucker wants from him.

He feels so pathetic - so useless, and weak - he can't even beg or make requests to August.

Just don't take too much, sir.

Please be gentle.

Don’t kill me, I beg.

“Declan, no! I - I don’t want that from you, stop that!”, August clamoured in horror, the boy either in confusion or from terror, was offering to be fed from. He hadn’t listened to a word either of them had said, or rather he had listened, and he couldn’t bring himself to believe and trust his rescuers.

Declan lets out a gut-wrenching wail. There’s something seriously wrong with him. Vince has sold him, and his new master doesn’t even want to feed from him.

So useless and so broken.

This is the end of the line.

239 notes · View notes