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bubblybongwater · 2 years

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₊˚⊹🍫﹕snowy greetings﹒˚₊

❧ pairing: dark choco x reader (gender neutral)

❧ genre: fluff(??? idk what to call this bye)

❧ summary: you wander off from the limits of your kingdom and end up somewhere cold and distant. some random guy, who claimed to be the prince, finds you stranded and almost kills you! how fun.

❧ notes: me when i actually fucking post something ih ny goD HELLO IM SSORRY 😭??? i said i was gonna post more during summer but i literally didn’t and i’m 2 monthz in2 sschool now ☠️ good fucking bye i am not consistent 💋 anyway this is the prequel to blood stained sword! i’ve decided that blood stained sword will bee itz own long ass story with like 2 different plot linez n whatever, therez like 5 more prequel partz after this one (this will prb bee the worst 1 bc i rushed on it bye) ☠️ also ty for the support on blood stained sword btw :] !! reallt glad that people enjoyed it sm !! also also reqz are open !! read pinned 4 more info 🦤༶•┈┈┈┈┈♡┈┈┈┈┈•༶

holy shit. you swore your skin was turning blue from how cold you were. snow was quite literally everywhere, making everything seem so bright and shiny. it felt like mere minutes ago when you were in your kingdom’s property, looking for your mother’s lost cake hound. but now, you had no clue where you were and how you even got here. your kingdom was so vibrant, and this frozen tundra of an area was awful. not a single building was in sight, just large mounds of ice and snow. it was also dead quiet. unbearably quiet. the only sound you could detect was the snow crunching beneath your feet. a small tree was nearby, somehow. it didn’t matter to you how it got there, all you cared about was having something to lean against and regain your strength.

leaning against a random ass tree has never felt better. it’d be better if you didn’t hear snow crunching when you weren’t walking. your first thought was that it was probably just some harmless animal, searching for food in this snowy death trap. however, adrenaline started to slowly rush as a voice called out. you didn’t hear exactly what was said, but still, this person could be a threat. because of the cold, you didn’t have much strength to wield your sword. all you could do was just wait. the sound of crunching snow only grew closer and closer as you waited.

the crunching stopped. right in front of you. you were so busy looking around from spot to spot, you didn’t even notice when the source of the voice was right there. the stranger narrowed his eyes when he was finally face to face with you, gripping his own sword. “who are you? trespassers aren’t welcome here,” his voice had an obviously fake deepness to it, as if he was trying to make himself seem more intimidating. it would be funny to you because of how stupid he sounded, but you were mildly terrified, actually. “trespasser? i don’t even know where the hell i am,” you attempted to scoff, but your throat was so dry and your voice was too shaky. “do you expect me to believe that excuse?” he eyed you suspiciously, “i can see that sword. are you planning some type of assassination?” you felt more annoyed than scared now, was this guy serious? “i’m deadass freezing to death right now, does it look like i’m about to kill someone?” his grip on his sword lightened, but he kept it in front of him.

“watch your language. it is quite disrespectful to speak to a prince with such words,” the supposed prince still had his guard up, displaying cautious behavior towards you. “you? prince?” this guy did not seem like a prince in the slightest. “do you expect me to believe that?” you mocked his tone from earlier, staring directly at him. he seemed more annoyed with your actions, and you felt the same. “listen,” he says, “it’s getting dark. if you truly are just passing through, i’m bringing you back with me.” did you want to trust this guy that almost stabbed you? not really. did you have a choice? not really. “alright. but, if you end up being some wanted serial killer or something, i will—no, i am going to— beat your ass,” you try to ignore the shakiness of your voice, thinking that you could make yourself sound tougher. upon hearing your vulgar language once again, the guy cringes. “follow me.” and with that, he turns around, his milky white armor almost blending into the snow.

…

“finally, dear god,” you sigh, bundling up in the heavy blanket that the bed provided. the prince had brought you to a local inn located within his kingdom, which was surprisingly very nice. he awkwardly spoke up, leaning against the wall like some cool guy would, “do you mind if i ask for your name?” oh, now he wanted to ask your name. after that long and quiet walk here. “only if you tell me yours first,” you were going to cross your arms, but you’d much rather cling onto the blanket. “prince dark choco cookie,” dark choco said with a bow. a small hum came from you as a response. at least you could stop referring to him as ‘guy’ or ‘the guy’ in your head. “and you?”

“oh, right. (Y/N), (prince/princess) of the helios kingdom.” dark choco seemed slightly shocked by the end of your sentence. he gave you a weird look, “you— you’re a (prince/princess) of a kingdom?” both of you were on common ground. firstly, you didn’t like each other so far. secondly, both of you refused to believe that you were royalties. “uh, yea? literally just said that dude,” you say in a matter of fact tone. “oh, that’s…cool,” the look on his face told you he was holding back some stupid sassy remark, your face told him the same thing. “well, since i’ve never heard of your kingdom before, it must be pretty far away. how long were you in the snow exactly?” changing the subject, nice move.

“like 2 hours. and yea, i’d say it’s pretty far. since your kingdom is literally the ice age and my kingdom is 5 feet away from the sun.” dark choco was probably going to say something about being offended, but you weren’t wrong. “what do you mean ‘5 feet away from the sun?’ i think everybody on earthbread would shrivel up if that was the case,” he sounded so confident in what he had just said, but you were going to ruin that. “it…it was a joke. pretty common joke in my kingdom, cause it’s hot as balls there.” dark choco apparently didn’t understand humor, which didn’t really surprise you. “ah, i see. so if you’re so far away from your kingdom, you must’ve been traveling for a long time,” he paused and observed you, pondering on what to say next.

“well,” he started talking again after fidgeting with the ends of his long hair, “depending on how you feel in the morning, we’ll get you back to your kingdom.” oh hell no, you were not staying here until morning. absolutely not. “what? why can’t we just go now? i’m already pretty warm,” you attempted to protest against the prince’s decision, but he wasn’t changing his mind. “you clearly aren’t used to such cold weather,” dark choco began to fidget with his hair again as he spoke, “you’ll freeze as soon as we head out. it’ll be slightly warmer during the day, and navigation will be easier.”

you hated that he was right, but you wouldn’t admit to that. “fine,” sighing, you just agreed to his plans. “alright, i’ll see you in the morning. goodnight.” dark choco left you alone in the unfamiliar room. weirdly, you felt…strange without his presence there. maybe it was because you couldn’t sleep in such a place. a place that was most likely a long way away from your comfortable kingdom. but hey, at least the blanket was really cozy.

…

“(Y/N)?” a voice, that you recognized from last night, spoke with a whisper tone. rather than responding, you just curled up further into the soft covers. your refusal to get up earned you an annoyed groan from dark choco. “i thought you wanted to go home,” his voice hinted that his patience was running thin. the mention of going home made you perk right up, “are we leaving now?” you resisted the urge to pump your fist in the air when dark choco nodded his head. “but, you’ll want to put this on first.” dark choco had what looked like a large coat slung over his shoulder. he handed it to you, “it’ll keep you from, y’know, freezing out there.” it seemed pretty high quality. the material on the inside was very fluffy, and it felt really soft against your skin. dark purple appeared to be the main color scheme, along with a few lighter shades of blue here and there. after you put it on, you gave him a nod, telling him you were ready. he opened the door for you, how nice.

snow was still falling from the sky, though a bit more gently compared to last night. “i stayed up a little late researching your kingdom. i was able to find a map!” dark choco seemed pretty proud of himself, which almost brought a smile to your face. “good, so we won’t get lost. i mean, i hope we won’t,” you awkwardly mumbled that last part quietly. “your kingdom seems interesting, by the way. maybe when we get there, i could look around?” his curiosity of your kingdom surprised you a little. most people tended to avoid your kingdom because of the heat. you shrug, “you probably won’t like the heat, but i guess.” dark choco just laughs, “i can handle anything!” “we’ll see about that.” more small talk started blooming between the two of you as you walked through the thick snow. maybe the prince wasn’t as bad as you originally thought.

#dark choco cookie #dark choco cookie x reader #prince dark choco #prince dark choco cookie #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #cookie run self insert #self insert #x reader #cookie run x reader #blood stained sword

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benryphobic · 3 years

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tell me ur thoughts on... Darnry

DARNEY MY BELARNREY......HELL YES

💐 Who tends to worry the most?

Darnold. He has anxiety! He's very uncomfortable with sudden change, too, so anything extreme happening out of his schedule makes him freak out

💋 Who is the most physically affectionate?

Benry. he gives his *friends* kisses, man. he would give Darnold so much physical affection it would be annoying (sometimes)

⛈ Do they enjoy dancing?

They do! Darnold dances like an old man, just kinda swaying side to side, while benry dances like a teenage girl. they have really different tastes in music, but can come together with dancing to r&b!

🌹⛈Who has the most nightmares and how do they deal with them?

Darnold has the most nightmares. Mostly about being terrified and trapped. Benry helps him by just kinda playing games with him, cos neither of them are too good at talking about feelings

🌺 Do they go to sleep at the same time as each other?

They do initially, bc Benry just. never slept. he doesn't need to. But then Benry started to appreciate the fine art of being able to cuddle and doze with a comfy body in his arms

⚡ What are their nicknames for each other?

I can't really think of anything but benry probably calls him like. D. Arnold. as a bit. otherwise i can't see them using any nicknames

🍃 What do they do when the other is stressed?

play video games....if that doesn't work, then they just talk about nothing. if it gets really bad, benry uses sweet voice for him, but thats not super often. darnold helps benry by just being his friend (homosexual)

🌻 How do they spend time if the other is gone?

Darnold does his science shit, goes back to school to become a professor, plays video games etc etc. benry plays video games, listens to music, probably makes his own music, talks to his friends, etc

🎮 Do they have a favourite video game they enjoy playing together?

team fortress 2.....they both go medic and do this

youtube

💍 Would they ever get married?

probably! no big wedding or anything, but they would get a little dressed up

✨ Who proposes?

benry! he does it very casually but very heartfelt

👑 Who is the meme lover?

darnold laughs at minion memes and cat memes. benry does not go on the internet.

📚 Who likes to read?

Darnold! he's fascinated with his field of study, but also in a lot of different things. he reads a lot to calm down and as a hobby

🎩 Who bothers the other person while the other person reads?

haha benry. if benry needs attention (which is often) he'll bother darnold like an immature child.

🌼 How do their personalities complement each other?

i think both are very matter of fact while saying the craziest shit. the difference is you can kinda tell when benry is joking (unless youre gordon) , while you cannot tell at All when Darnold is. Plus i kinda see them both as quiet people, maybe ambiverts at most, so they just kinda chill most of the time. theyre absurd in different ways, and its great :)

🔥 Who will punch someone out if they are rude to their partner?

neither? i think benry would shoot someone just for picking their nose

💀 What would they dress up as, for Halloween?

oooohghuhghhhhh the cheesiest costumes ever. the first year theyre dating they go as a medic and solider duo, but years after theyd do like. cishet costumes bc they both think its funny (harley quinn and joker, Frankenstein and the bride of frakenstein, jack and sally, etc) they still really like dressing up as video game characters tho, so they do that too to mix it up

🌈 What are their favourite colours?

darnold likes green! benry........does not have a favorite

🌹 Who is the hopeless romantic?

Neither! Darnold is a man of science, a man of work. he was very happy being single, benry just kinda added a new dynamic in his life that he very much enjoyed. benry is just....not a romantic. if he has a crush on someone he's like "well.....lol" and usually pursues like a 5 year old

🎭 Who is the dramatic one?

benry. he sounds like he's eternally pouting

🎈 Who makes jokes during inappropriate times?

benry, duh. hes kind of a dick. darnold cannot take him to funerals

💝 What do they love about each other the most?

the sick gamer strats. idk this is a weird question cos when u love someone, i feel like u love....all of them? or at least a lot of them. theres not really a favorite trait. they just go "yo this is nice as fuck" when u spend time with each other and like. cuddle.

👓 Who googles everything?

darnold uses Google as a research engine for his work and hobbies

🌙 How do they comfort each other when they are helpless to do anything about the situation?

they r there for each other. if its truly helpless, i think that's enough.

🍂 What is an inside joke they have?

pyro airpoof.....whether or not Darnolds potions are g fuel bc Powerade is kinda close to Gatorade

💟 What do you think makes them perfect for one another?

i dont think theyre perfect for one another! benrys an annoying jackass, Darnold is a nice man. but i think if benry got a huge loser crush, hed feel the need not to pull on darnolds metaphorical pigtails. its respect

🌷 Are you nervous to talk about your OTP? Why?

kinda nervous! but only bc i have trouble thinking about their dynamic. my favorite genre of romance is just.....dudes that hang out and kiss. i also don't want it to sound like knock off frenrey. Darnold is the only one who seemed a little annoyed by benry too, in a very different, polite way, but i find it difficult to differentiate the dynamic. Darnold is a little bit of a straight man to the straight man. not to say he isnt absurd. but id find it reallt funny for benry to do some crazy shit and Darnold to go "uhm. ok."

Is your OTP Oc x Canon?

hmm difficult question. hlvrai characterization in general is making an oc and hoping it adheres to Canon. just by shipping darnold and benry im basically making some sort of oc x oc for myself, since their characterizations don't imply theyd ever end up in a romantic relationship

🎵 What's a song (or songs) that remind you of your OTP?

youtube

i need more songs for my darnrey playlist 😩😩😩😩

#darnrey #hlvrai #maintagging it fuck it #gg.txt

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lifeofroos · 3 years

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Part 32! And there is a baby! Small reminder that you can still vote for the Solangelo rewards 2021 on @solange-lol! My fic is nominated too!

In short: Nico gets Therapy from Dionysus. In this chapter, a mutual friend has gotten a baby and they have been invited over to see the child. However, Nico is a little nervous... The rest can be found on AO3 and FanFiction.net and in Tumblr tags like Nico di Angelo, Fanfiction, Pjo etc. This Might Be Crazy: Chapter 32: British tea

Dionysus teleported us to a pretty nice apartment block in the middle of New York. ‘What number?’ I asked.

‘32.’

‘Alright.’ I walked to the door and hovered my fingers over the bells, but when I found it, I did not ring it.

‘Is something wrong?’

‘I am a little anxious.’

‘A little?’

‘Okay, quite. Quite anxious.’

‘Hm. Does that get better if you don’t ring the doorbell, even though we have an appointment?’

He had a point. I pressed the doorbell, which felt like quite the achievement.

‘Who’s there?’ A male voice asked through the intercom. I took a deep breath.

‘Uh…Nico. Nico di Angelo.’ I swallowed. ‘Um, Mary invited us…’

‘Of course! Come on in!’ The door opened with a soft click. I shot a look at Dionysus, before we walked into the building.

‘How come that you are so nervous all of a sudden? Usually, you talk to people quite easily. I am assuming you did not talk to the troglodytes like this when you first met them.’

‘I don’t know. Something about the fact that Mary has a baby makes me nervous. I am afraid I’ll hurt them.’

‘It’ll be okay. Try to calm down. His name is Ernest, by the way.’

‘Because you are such an authority on names.’

‘Now, we are not getting your mouth too big.’

I tried to laugh, but it was higher pitched than usual. ‘Of course not.’

The door was already open. A man in his late twenties was standing in the doorway. He looked like he was perpetually on a pink cloud.

He stuck out his hand. We both shook it. ‘You must be Nico,’ he told me. ‘And are you Dio? I don’t hear that name often.’

Dionysus shrugged. I assumed Mary had not told George his full name. ‘Oh well.’

‘Come in,’ George said, with stars in his eyes, ‘Ernest is just awake!’ He led us into the apartment, which looked cozy. They had a fluffy couch in the living room, and Mary was sitting on that couch, and she was holding the tiniest human I had ever seen in my life.

I mouth fell open a little. Mary smiled. ‘Look, Nico, this is Ernest.’

‘He’s… he’s so…’ I took a step backwards. My anxiety went throught the roof.

George looked at us with a huge smile, seemingly unaware of how I was feeling. ‘He is beautiful, isn’t he!’ He sighed. ‘Do you want anything to drink?’ Dionysus looked at Mary and at me. ‘I think we could all use a cup of tea. I’ll help’

‘That’s not…’

‘No, it’s okay.’ Dionysus looked over at George, who went quiet, turned around and walked to the kitchen. Mary raised her eyebrows and shot Dionysus a look. ‘Don’t give him a heart attack.’

‘Of course not.’ Dionysus walked after George, so that I was left alone with Mary and Ernest.

She turned back to me. ‘Come, you can sit down.’ I stayed where I was.

‘He… he is so small.’

‘Yes. It’s okay, Nico.’ My heart rate increased. I didn’t want to hurt the baby, but I did not want to upset Mary either.

Slowly, I walked over to the couch and sat down. Mary pushed the blue, fluffy blanket aside a little. ‘Look.’

I looked at the small bundle in her arms. The baby was wearing a jumper and a small hat. He looked adorable, but all I could think to say was: ‘Why… why is the hat pink? Not that it matters, but...’

‘We didn’t really think about it when we bought it,’ she said, with a small shrug. ‘After he was born, we did think that it was a little unconventional. But as you said, it does not reallt matter. It is just a hat!’ I slowly nodded.

‘I mean, it fits, pink is Aphrodites’ holy colour.’

She chuckled. ‘Yes, it is.’

Ernest’ little eyes were open. They turned to me for a second. ‘He sees, but he doesn’t really see me, right?’

‘No, he is too small for that.’

‘Ah.’ Then I need to be even more careful with him.

Dionysus and George came back with a platter of tea and biscuits. George was non-stop talking about the new baby. To me, it seemed like a miracle that Dionysus managed to look interested in what he was saying.

He put the platter onto the table. George kept talking while making all of us a cup of tea, without thinking to ask whether we wanted sugar or milk. We just got it. I didn’t mind, though, I kind of liked tea with milk.

When he was done with his story and with his tea, George sat down next on the other side of Mary. Dionysus sat down in an armchair slightly further away.

For a moment, we all just looked at the baby. ‘He’s beautiful, right?’ George asked. An even bigger smile grew on Mary’s face, while she looked at her boyfriend for a second.

‘They always are,’ Dionysus commented. I only nodded, still a little fearful.

Mary looked up at me again. ‘Do you want to hold him?’

‘What?’ I swiftly shook my head.

‘It’s okay, Nico. I am here, and Dio is too...’

I looked at my hands. I mean, I did want to hold the baby, but…

Ernest gave a little cry. George jumped up. ‘I’ll go see what’s wrong,’ he said, sounding slightly panicked. He carefully took Ernest from his mother, before walking to the next room. Mary gave Dionysus an angry look. He was playing innocent.

She sighed. ‘Nico, it really is okay,’ she reassured me.

‘What if I hurt him? I don’t want to hurt him. He’s so small.’

Dionysus scraped his throat. ‘Nico, why do you think you’ll hurt Ernest?’

‘Sometimes I feel like I’ll lose control.’

‘Have you ever lost control the past few months?’

‘No. Not since the monster attack on Denny’s.’

‘So why would you lose control now?’

I shrugged. ‘Logically, I know that the chance is basically zero. Yet, that does not make the fear go away.’ Dionysus was quiet for a moment. Mary laid a hand on my shoulder.

‘Do you want to hold him? As in, just want it, if you don’t think about your fears for a second?’

‘Yes.’

‘Then you can just come back when you feel better about it. That’s okay, I know you, after all.’

I looked at the couch. ‘I really like the baby, it is not that.’

Mary smiled, as if it truly did not matter. ‘Do you want to see him again, though? Otherwise, you can just leave now, before George comes back.’

I shook my head. ‘I want to see him again.’ I looked at Dionysus, who gave me a single nod.

A few minutes later, George came back with Ernest. ‘He has been cleaned up.’ He gave the baby back to Mary. I looked at Ernest. For a moment, I could imagine that he was looking back.

We sat and talked for a few minutes, but I did not really listen. After a while, I took a deep breath. ‘Eh… can I still hold him?’

Mary gave me a surprised look. ‘Of course.’ Slowly, she handed me Ernest, until I was holding him on my own. He looked sleepy, with his little blanket and his little hat. He was warm, tiny and his small eyes were looking, or trying to look. I cradled him slightly closer and smiled.

‘He’s so soft.’

George sighed. ‘Yes.’

‘I think that is mostly the blanket,’ Mary commented. George shook his head in the background. Mary turned around. I laughed.

The baby gave a small cry when my arms shook. With a start, I looked back at him. Oh, he was already calm. Was he already calm?

‘Shall I take him back?’ Mary asked.

‘Yes,’ I said, a little freaked out. With utmost care I gave Ernest back to his mother.

After that, I picked up my tea and took a sip. George decided it was time to begin another story, but now I was happy to listen to it.

After half an hour, Ernest had fallen asleep. Mary looked tired.

‘I think it might be time to leave,’ Dionysus commented. I nodded, and so did Mary. George got up and showed us out.

After he closed the door, Dionysus put his hand on the wall next to it. He whispered a few words in Ancient Greek. When he was done, he beckoned me down the stairway. ‘I had to bless them,’ he explained, ‘Mary should have a healthy, happy baby and Ernest should have a happy, healthy mother.’ I completely agreed.

‘Nico?’

‘Yes?’

‘What made you suddenly think that you could hold Ernest?’

I shrugged. ‘I don’t know. But I did it.’

‘Are you glad you did it?’

‘Yes. I am very happy I did it. On one hand because I liked Ernest, but on the other hand because it feels like I am closer to defeating that fear. I really did not hurt him. So next time, I probably won’t either.’ I sighed. ‘Thanks for coming along.’

‘Hey, I wanted to see the kid too.’ He looked at me with a small smile.

‘Ah.’

He sighed deeply. ‘Don’t listen to me, Nico. I think you did very well.’

A/N: Hand-shaking,,,,, it feels like a century ago that that was considered polite,,,,

Btw why is there no celebratory food for when a baby is born in the USA? In the Netherlands, you get ‘beschuit met muisjes’ when you visit a new baby. It is a sailors biscuit, but with butter and little anise dots (the muisjes), usually blue for a boy and pink for a girl, although there has been a new trend of gender neutral ‘muisjes,’ which are red for example. When a royal baby is born, for a small period of time the stores will sell orange anise dots.

This is the end of the (Admittedly rather short) Parent arc! Of course there will be way more content with Hades and/or Persephone, but I think that falls under the new arc that will begin after a bonus chapter....

#Nico di Angelo #Dionysus #pjo #trials of apollo #percy jackson #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #writeblr #pjo fanfiction #percy jackson fanfiction #percy jackson and the olympians #Percy jackson and the olympians fanfiction #hurt/comfort #therapy #baby #writer #write

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sejanusbaby · 4 years

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Dad!Arthur + Coming Out

A/N: I really liked the idea of this, so enjoy! ☺️

Anonymous asked: arthur fleck accepting his gay daughter. i’m making the reader 17.

Warnings: A little angst, mentions fo a struggling Dad!Arthur, but very soft and fluffy.

When Arthur made the decision to drop out of high school, he never intended on having a child in his near future.

But here you were, nearly 17 years later, and you were the greatest blessing Arthur could ever ask for.

Arthur had met your mother when he was 18. She was beautiful and they fell in love. You weren’t planned, but Arthur still loved you with his entire heart.

Your mother, as beautiful as she was, left eventually. She claimed to have fallen out of love and she wasn’t ready for raising a child.

Arthur didn’t fight her about it. He simply nodded his head and made the decision that you were going to be his entire world from now on.

Your childhood wasn’t one of luxery, but it was still a fantastic one.

Your dad worked hard for you and your grandmother.

As you grew throughout the years, you noticed you were different than some of your friends.

They gushed over wanting to kiss boys, but you never felt the same.

It wasn’t until your freshman year in high school that you finally kissed someone. It was your best friend.

That’s when you knew for sure who you were really supposed to be.

You spent the rest of high school very closited. You went to some parties and things and met some other girls. You never dated anyone, however.

You never really felt the need to tell your father about it. Until you were both spread out in the living room one night.

You, your grandma, and your dad. All eating dinner in silence as the TV played. Your grandmother was transfixed on the television, while you were busy eating.

“So.” Your dad broke the silence. “You got your eye on a special guy?” He teased. Your dad was known to poke at you for fun. You never did mind it, you enjoyed being that way with your dad.

This time, though, it reallt got under your skin.

“Not really, dad. Since when have I ever been interested in anyone? And why does it have to be some guy?” You snapped at him, stuffing more of the food in your mouth.

Arthur just smiled weakly, but apologized. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to push you too far.” He said quietly. “I didn’t think you were into girls, either.”

“Yeah, well, I am Dad. I always have been. I just didn’t know how to tell you, I guess. And this wasn’t really my ideal situation.” You sighed, placing your plate down on the small table in front of the TV.

“I’m glad you’re telling me now, Y/N. I hate to think that you kept that a secret for so long. I’m sorry I didn’t pay attention more.” Your dad’s voice cracked as he spoke.

He genuinely did feel bad. He knows how rejection feels and how it feels to he scared. He hated that for you.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Dad.” You smiled softly at him. Your hand grabbed his colder one and gave it a squeeze. “You know you’re the best someone could ask for.” His heart melted.

“I’ll always be proud of you. No matter who you are or who you love, Y/N.”

#smut #fluff #imagine #headcanon #x reader #angst #joker #2019 #movie #joaqin phoenix #arthur fleck #x daughter

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you-are-worth-the-wait · 4 years

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i’m sorry that all that was something that was sprung up on you and snowballed the way it did. i don’t reallt understand or get it. you would think something as serious as that, you’d want to protect and respect the other person’s privacy. yes, it so happened to be of this particular subject matter but you would think that even if it was something else, they would be conscious of that very moment that it was something of a very personal subject matter and that the person entrusting to tell you about it would not want it spread around. at least that’s the way i see it. which is why i try not to eavesdrop on convos that don’t have me involved and whatever someone tells me, i feel that it’s not my secret or information to give to anyone else unless told otherwise. i feel that it’s their “secret” to share and if they want other people to know about it, they will tell those other people in due time when they are ready. it’s why i never push you to reveal anything about yourself or your thoughts until you are ready.

i didn’t tell her to call/message/check up on you...but i’m glad she did. honestly, since the day she moved away and i saw that you needed someone by your side, i’ve resisted the urge and temptation to ask her to call/check up on you. i wanted to. i really did. i felt you needed her/a friend during this time, more than ever, and i knew she was prolly the only person, aside from me, you knew you could trust and saw things from your point of view. i’d want to say that if there was anyone who you should listen to as far as passing judgement, it would be her, because she knew you before, during, and after all of this. if there was someone that i felt you could talk to other than me, it was her. when she moved away, i have to say that i was really sad, for you, becuase i knew how much you would have possibly needed to lean and unburden yourself to her. like i said, it still would have been tough, but to have her by your side, it would have made things a little easier. did you not respond back to her? did you not respond because you thought i told her to reach out to you? she could be reaching out simply because she was missing you or felt that she hadn’t connected with you for such a long time. i’m sure you two could use a little catching up time together, if anything, i think it would be helpful and therapeutic in a way to talk to her. to be able to speak to someone who will not judge you and you could actually speak your mind. someone who actually knows you for you and is willing to listen and someone i feel you actually trust enough to be able to say exactly what is in your mind and heart. you should reach out to her Love. i’d say to tell her i said hi but that’s all on you.

before you called me, i was planning on writing tonight about how i feel like even though i did spend the money to do match, i think i wasted it. because i felt it was some kind of means to an end but to actually try and open myself to find “love”...my heart just isn’t in it. how can i be happy when i know you aren’t happy. i know we would both want to wish each other the best, but how do i live with myself knowing you are in such an impossibly crappy situation?

and i hope i kinda of clarified myself when i said “take you away”. i know it may sound and imply what it means but i didn’t mean it literally. like i said, we’d still be in vegas. we’d stil lbe in that house. if you wanted to move from there, i/we would figure out a way to do so. i know you’d still have to deal with your family/friends here. i wasn’t necessarily taking you to Ireland, Hawaii, or Australia. i just wanted you out of the situation you are in where you are constantly being hurt, judged, sad, used, abused, belittled...eff’...i hate it. i hate how i feel when i think about it. i hate sounding preachy and insincere if that’s the way i come across. i’m just...tired too.

i hate people telling/talking to me about statistics. telling me what you will “most likely do”. what “everyone does”. what “you’ve done to me”. that “you made your choice”. yeah...i get what you are doing and i’m fully aware of who you are ending your night with every day. yeah...i’m effin’ stubborn. yeah...i get that i’m not listening to logic or reason. i don’t care. that’s not me when it comes to my heart and how i feel about someone. i know what i know and i know what i believe. and yeah...it’s possible that because of that reason...i’m going to hurt and fall so much further. but it’s a chance and risk i’m willing to take. i don’t know what to do really. i do know that i don’t want to hurt you...

hey...i didn’t mean to disrespect your family, friends, or anyone that means a lot to you. when i said that i didn’t care what they thought about me, it was more so along the lines of what i am willing to endure for something/someone that i believe in. if it took the whole world hating me just to be with you, i’ll gladly take it and build from there. you and i, i know how good we are together. if people don’t see that, believe that...in the beginning...i’ll understand that. not that i need to win them over and not like that will be my main focus. my main focus wil be you/us. i’d want to build a life for us that give us the best chance to succeed and be happy. people may not see it that way at first and maybe they will refuse or not want ot believe it. like i said, it’s not my goal or motivation to like/accept me. but in the end, i think that people will finally start to genuinely see what you see, what i see, and how happy we make each other, that i know they will eventually come around. likei said, does it scare me...yes it does. will it hurt to have your parents see me a certain way and maybe see you a certain way because of me, yes it will. but that won’t stop me from loving, treating, caring, watching out over, and protecting you. at some point, i think/know people will see why we are together. i heard that fear of uncertainty in your voice and i know there is that fear there for you...and i understand. i told you, one of my fears was that you would “settle” because you were scared and fearful of the fallout and judgement. i can tell you till i’m blue in the face that it will be tough at first but we will be okay and we will come out of things stronger and for the better and people will realize and see what i always saw with us. it will just be a matter of you allowing yourself to see it and believing in me/us as well, despite all that fear and uncertainty you have. yes...i know it’s asking a lot of you to take my hand and to trust me...but i would never put you in a situation that would endanger you in any way, mentally, emotionally, physically, relationship-wise with family and friends. if their acceptance and judgement means that much to you, you could stay where you are now and figure out if that is the life you want to live. or you could be with me and, if acceptance is what you want me to focus on along with making you happy, i’ll do that...for you. i/we could just let it naturally happen, which like i said, i know it will once they see how happy you are. or i could work on it, for your peace of mind. in the end, i don’t really think anyone will “care” about who you are with. yes, they may have someone in mind that they think/want you to be with. but ultimately, for every person that will judge you and your choices in life, even your parents Love, i think the most important thing that would matter to them is that you are happy. at some point, like you reblogged, are you going to let selfishness of others run and dictate your life? are you content to be in a situation where people are “happy for you/themselves” but you yourself are not happy in the situation? do you think your parents/mom would rather choose the “you” that you are now in the situation you are in or the “you” that you know you can be when you are with me. i know that there are a ton of factors to consider in everything...*sigh*

it’s hard for me to keep a neutral outlook of him when he is constantly hurting you in one way or another. i try to be calm and level-headed about everything that goes on because i do respect what you are doing. truth...sometimes i feel that the more he treats you like shyt, i feel the more it will open up your eyes to the difference between you and him versus us and the outlook for the future. but to continually see you beaten down to breaking points, it does a number on me too.

i like and admire the fact that you are going so indepth as to searching for answers here and there and maybe there is a paart of me that is more afraid now because i know that “book knowledge” is something that helps you to explain and understand things. along those lines, i know what is “suppoesed” to happen. i know what everyone “says will happen”. i know what everyone “thinks will happen”. but sometimes, when it comes to the heart, sometimes there is no logical answer or rationale. i already know how illogical i am when it comes to my heart. throw all the facts, figures, data, and whatnot into my face. all i know is that as long as i believe in something, that’s all i need to keep going. you can label what kind of relationship we are and why this happened but...you can’t quantify the feeling of your hands in mine. you can read off statistically what happens in situations like this but...you can’t measure the comfort and safety you feel when you are in my arms. who is the last person you think of when you go to bed and who is the person that makes you actually want to wake up. who motivates and brings a brings a genuine smile to your face. when something amazing happens to you as in tuen when something horrible and bad happens, who is the first person you want to talk to share that experience with. we both now have a past with you and i can’t compete with yours as he can’t compete with ours but...when you close your eyes and are kissed, who do you want to open up your eyes to and see staring back at you now...and in the future. that’s how my mind and heart operates. i can’t logically explain why i know, feel, and believe what i do and yeah...everything may verge on the fantastical. i may not see things the way others do and i know i can be confusing and hypocritical. but i think you already know that that’s me...*ws* i’m not “normal”. i make do with what i have, try to live the best life i can live, and if you trust me enough to go along with me on whateber adventures my life could possibly lead me towards, i would love for you to be the person who is by my side and sharing those moments with me. sooo...yeah...

gawd i ramble...

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trivia-bangtan · 7 years

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MY TURBULENCE IN LA EXPERIENCE

So, initially I don't live in Cali. I live in Colorado. But guess what YA GIRL MANAGED TO TALK HER DAD INTO LETTING HER GO AND LETTING HER GET HI TOUCH TICKETS. So anyway, me and my friend got to the venue at like 11 and we got into the wristband line and waited til 12. It was sort of delayed so around 1-ish they started giving out the wristbands and then from there iGOT7's were free to roam until doors opened. My friend and I managed to find a door and they were doing soundcheck and whatnot and we were just hanging out. Then some girls came and they hung out with us and we listened to soundcheck. Then when we heard Mark (we think) speak through the mic I STG we all lost it and by then there had been 7-10 girls and WE ACTUALLY STOPPED THE SOUNDCHECK BC WE WERE SO LOUD. So we left and then one of the girls who was older than my friend and I said we should eat lightly before we went to the event. We had four hours so we said yeah and we found a really cheap sushi spot in Pasadena called Sushi Stop and YAAASSSS. So by the time we were done eating it was already like 3 and so the older girl said since we never tried boba, she would take my friend in an Uber to go get some while I asked about my camera (since the girl, her name was Marion, said that professional cameras weren't allowed in the Departure tour). So I went back to the venue and one member said no but two others said it didn't matter so I didn't bother using it. Then the talented LA iGOT7's who are so creative we're handing out fansigns and gifts and it was s'cute. Then at around 5:30-ish, fans were starting to crowd around the doors so naturally my friend and I stood with Marion and waited. Then we seen someone peek their head out of the window to record us (I could've sworn it was Jackson bc of the case but the person had blonde hair so it might've been BamBam but idk) and then iGOT7's chanted each members name and even Papa Tuan's name. Some even shouted CoCo ??? 😂😂 Then right at six the doors opened and everyone rushed in and was given a raffle ticket. My friend and I were Orch C, Row L and we got right dead ass center of the stage and we're probably 20 ft away which shocked me bc I thought it would've been farther. But I'm glad it was close. Then we waited for a bit and 30 minutes into letting us all in, Papa Tuan, Mama Tuan and the whole gang came in and everyone went nuts. People got up to take pictures and ask for high fives and they talked to him and he was so calm and happy about it all. He was so sweet. Then security came and made everyone sit down and clear the aisles. Then the show began and a little intro vid played and they came out and sang Let Me and I forgot what else but then they left and the host and translator came out and introduced themselves and then they had the boys come back out and they started the Q&A session. Jackson picked the "WHATS your ideal type?" question and YUGYEOM said sexy and cute iGOT7's. BamBam said someone who's cute and sexy for him (I think. It was so loud I couldn't really hear.) Jaebum said he didn't have a type. Then it went to Jinyoung (who looked like a damn prince I stg) and he had the question "What was your impression of everyone?" and he said that he thought Mark was really tan and that Jaebum (when they met 7 years ago) was really quiet and now he's not as quiet and that BamBam was short. He showed Bam's height at his chest level and then Jackson had to come in and torcher Bam saying he was at the ground height. Then Jinyoung said he thought Youngjae was cute and that he thought Yugyeom was older since Yugyeom was so tall. Then Mark picked two questions. I can't remember one of them but I know that one of them was "Which dance move do you like to see?" And Mark ofc said Yugyeom's sexy dance to which Jackson had the crowd chant his name and Yugyeom got up and SLAYED the dance (as per usual.) Then, it was Jaebum's turn and I forgot his question too (tbh so much was happening that I was trying to focus on sm.) Then Youngjae had a question to someone (I think it was Jaebum) that asked him what he does to write his lyrics. And Jaebum says he reads and watches movies (BamBam asked what kind of movies 👀) but I know he said he watched La La Land and cried which was cute. BamBam was next and his question was "Can you dance to JuJu on the Beat?" And him and Yugyeom got up and danced to a bit of it. Then Yugyeom asked his question (I forgot it too. I think it had something to do with Jaebum and why he likes R&B music but I'm not too sure.) Then the Q&A session was over and they performed Boom x3 and Just Right I think and then it was time for fan games and Guess The Song. So the boys picked some fans and they played Guess The Song first and the penalty was that if they got the song wrong they had to squat five times and flap their arms (in their case hands idk????) like a baby bird and literally Mark, BamBam and Jinyoung tried to cheat and use the fans as resources while Youngjae was steady slaying the game. In the end Youngjae won by like 5 and BamBam had 1 and I think Mark had 1 too. Then Mark, Yugyeom, BamBam, Jackson, Jaebum and Jinyoung played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would do the penalty. And ofc, Jackson, Jinyoung and Mark won while BamBam, JB and Yugyeom had to suck helium out of the ballon and do their parts. Jaebum did his part and sang some of La La Land (I think) and then BamBam did his part and then proceeded to say he sounded like Silentó and whipped and nae nae'd like nobodies business. Yugyeom sang his part BUT I KID YOU NOT THE BOY SOUNDED THE SAME AS NORMAL AND I DIED A LITTLE. (keep in mind the order they played the games might be incorrect) Then they brought the fans on stage and they introduced them. BamBam's partner was older then BamBam and BamBam was like "oh noona." And he did aegyo for her. Then JAEBUM introduced his partner but he couldn't understand her name so the fan made kitten claws (cause her came was Cat/Kat) and JAEBUM copied her 😂😂 Then Mark introduced his partner and BamBam pointed at her shoes (cause they were light ups like mine) and said "She's lit." 🙃🙃 then JINYOUNG introduced his partner and whispered in her ear and I assume he said to say MayDay was her favorite song (because then after he asked her what her favorite song was and she said MayDay). Then Jinyoung said "we're a great team." Then Jackson introduced his partner who was from China and her fave song was Boom x3 and then Jackson said "And her favorite member is Jinyoung." The Jinyoung tried to shake the fans hand and Jackson wasn't having it and then Jinyoung tried to protect his fan. Then Youngjae and his partner went up and they got like five and then it was Jaebum and his partners turn and they got two I think and the BamBam and his noona went up and he was like "I'll let my queen go first." And then they got four I think. Then Yugyeom and his partner went up and he accidentally kicked the hacky sack in her chest, by her heart and she pretended to faint (A+ for that fan who played along!!) and then Yugyeom helped her up and they got like two or three points and then Jinyoung went up and his partner hit three times on her first try and then Jinyoung hit it eleven times and his partner hit three more times and they ended at fifteen. Then Mark went up and his partner hit it once or twice and then Mark hit it up to like fourteen. And then the fan hit it like four times and they were in the lead and Mark was so happy he picked his partner up and spun her and I fired a little at his excitement. Then Jackson went up and him and his partner ended up with three or four points. And then the winning fan (Mark's partner) got some gifts and the winning hackey sack and then BamBam pointed out her sweater that said Jackson and he was like "Next time you should wear a different sweater." Then Jackson escorted her offstage. Then I think they showed some behind the scenes of hard carry while the boys got ready to perform If You Do and then they did their speeches. They all pretty much said that they loved LA and that they have some stuff coming up. Youngjae said LA was like a second home and then pointed out that Elliot Yamin was there and that his song was the reason that he passed the JYP auditions and then sang "I'll Wait For You". Then Mark talked about how he's grateful for the fans and that he's happy that iGOT's allow him to come home and see his family and he choked back tears and so did I bc I looked back at Papa Tuan (who was four rows behind me) and he and Mama Tuan were holding Mark signs. Then Jinyoung gave his English speech and talked about how happy he was and that LA was wonderful. Then Jackson, slay me, gave a speech about this year that you should live up to your life and there will always be people who try to bring you down but live your life how you want. YAS JACKSON YAS. Then it was time for the final song and BamBam was like "Can you guys guess what song is next?" and everyone said Hard Carry and he laughed and was like "Why not Girls Girls Girls?" and I was like Bammie please, that was a rough era for y'all. Can we not?????? But they performed Hard Carry confetti came out and then they left and the host and translator thanked us for the night and they brought the boys back out to perform their encore (Home Run) and everyone ran up. Like it was supposed to be just P1 but loads of fans pushed through security so they just left and I was like "okay???" And ran up and I was like soooo close. Like close enough to see Jackson sweating. But y'all my voice was gone and I couldn't scream so I just waved my sign (It was a Markson sign) and Mark stared at it and walked away and I was like 👀🤘🏻. Then they left again and we returned to our seats and then once people who didn't have wristbands left, they started the group photos and then once that was done it was hi-touch time. YALL LEMME TELL YOU. I WAS LOOKING BUMMY BC I DIDNT BRING A STRAIGHTNER AND MY HAIR IS REALLT CURLY SO DURING THE PERFORMANCE AND SUCH MY HAIR FRIZZED UP SO I THREW IT UP IN A BUN AND I HAD A JB SWEATER ON AND A JAEBUM NAME PIN ON AND I HAD LIGHT UP SHOES LIKE ONE YUGYEOM WORE ON HIT THE STAGE AND I LOOKED LIKE CRAP TO SUMMARIZE. So anyway, security was strict and they kept telling us that if they caught us recording they wouldn't let us do the hi-touch. Then, some fans tried to sneak back in line to hi-touch again but they got caught and the even was delayed for like five minutes before it started up again. I was gonna wait to be last but then decided against it and I seen Papa Tuan on my way to the line and I waved at him and he smiled and waved back and then I was like "Can I give you a high five?" and he smiled and laughed and gave me a high five and I thanked him and left and got in line. The line was moving sooo fast and I almost passed out. Like I was really nervous. My whole plan was to like, dab with Bam and make either Youngjae or Jackson laugh. So my friend went first and I went up the steps and I was waiting for security to give me the go and I was literally freaking out saying "oh my god" fifty times nonstop and I was jumping around nervously and Jaebum and Jackson noticed me and laughed a little bit. Then I went up to Jackson and looked him in the eyes and was like "Hi Jackson oh my gosh I love you." And he said "Thank you. I love you too." (So that goal was done lol.) Then I went to Jaebum and I was originally gonna call him JB but ended up saying his real name funny so I said "JAEBUM, I love you so much." And he looked down at the pin I had and laughed and smiled at me real brightly and said "Thank you. I love you too." (YALL MY BIAS SMILED AND LAUGHED AT ME LIEK AGDKSLANDB) and then it was Youngjae so in my head I thought JFC he's so cuteee. So I stuttered a little bit on his name and almost called him Yugyeom (bc Yugyeom was close by) and I was like "Yu-Yu-Youngjae! You're such a sunshine!!" And he giggled and told me thank you and the security guard was like "keep it moving." So I rushed to Yugyeom and stared at his face and was like "Hit The Stage I love you so much!" And he smiled hard and was like "I love you too!" And then I seen BamBam and at this point everything I wanted to ask him left my head bc we made eye contact and I ended up staring at his chest and said "I love you BamBam " and he shook my hand and smiled and then I looked at Mark and I stg that boy looked mighty fine 👀👀 I told him "Oh my god... Mark you're soo handsome." And he started smiling and said "Thank you." And then my friend before LOWKEY yelled at Jinyoung on accident and was like "JINYOUNG I LOVE YOU." and his eyes widened so much and he waved her off and watched her leave and he turned to me and I looked him dead in the eyes and said "I love you so much Jinyoung, you're such a prince." And he smiled and he HELD MY HAND LIKE DAMN I THIUGHT WE WERE GONNA INTERLOCK FINGERS HE HELD IT SO TIGHT and he said "Thank you. I love you too." And I walked off after that and I turned to Jinyoung and was like "Bye Jinyoung." And we waved to me and said bye like I think the girl who was a space behind me didn't get much Jinyoung AND IM SORRY FOR THAt. But then me and my friend waited outside and then we heard cheering on the opposite side of the building and ran there and we caught BamBam and Jackson getting into the car and Mark left and I was gonna follow him but then realized he might've been leaving with family so I stopped. then they cleared the way for the boys to get through and they had to stop at a point and I waved to Jackson and I seen BamBam and dabbed and he pointed at me and waved to all of us after and I cried inside. And that's it. My Turbulence in LA experience. I might upload some vids I got but like I said I didn't wanna take very many pictures and videos because I wanted to remember it through my own eyes and not the eyes of my camera.

#turbulence in la #got7 #jackson #jaebum #mark tuan #bambam #yugyeom #jinyoung #youngjae #i can't believe I called Yugyeom hit the stage #what is wrong with me

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