vixensofdeath

[vixensofdeath]

I feel my eyes sinking but I just can’t sleep. I just end up staring at the ceiling for hours— just thinking about everything that I don’t want to think about anymore. The darkness in my room feels like my mind, so I can never escape that feeling of nothingness. It’s like the room becomes an echoing chamber of consciousness.

#bpd stuff #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd symptoms #mental problems #mentally fucked #actually borderline #borderline blog #bpd problems #bpd struggles #deppressed #kinda depressing #mentally exhausted #alone with my thoughts #tw depressing thoughts #tw sui ideation #bpd #major depressive disorder #bpd things #bpd thoughts #depressing shit #tw depressing stuff #bpd feels #bpd traits #depressing quotes #bpd mood #bpd shit #depersonalization #insominac #mentally tired

[vixensofdeath]

Next bad thing to happen to me is gonna send me back down into a spiral. It’s like I only attract bad luck, bad people, and bad thoughts. Everything and everyone is starting to wear me out and im just waiting, scared, for when it gets worse again.

#bpd stuff #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd symptoms #mental problems #mentally fucked #actually borderline #borderline blog #bpd problems #bpd struggles #deppressed #kinda depressing #depressing shit #major depressive disorder #bpd #bpd things #bpd thoughts #tw depressing stuff #bpd feels #bpd traits #depressing quotes #tw depressing thoughts #bpd mood #bpd shit #mentally tired #mentally drained #mentally exhausted #alone with my thoughts #mentally unstable #depersonalization

[vixensofdeath]

I feel like an old beaten up dog that is just wandering around looking for someone, anyone, to love me.

#bpd stuff #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd symptoms #mental problems #mentally fucked #actually borderline #borderline blog #bpd problems #bpd struggles #manic depressive #deppressed #kinda depressing #depressing quotes #bpd #bpd things #bpd thoughts #major depressive disorder #tw depressing stuff #bpd feels #bpd traits #depressing shit #tw depressing thoughts #bpd mood #mentally tired #mentally drained #mentally exhausted #whats wrong with me #bpd shit #depersonalization

[vixensofdeath]

I can’t keep running in circles, it makes me tired. I can run or I can walk, but it’s like I can’t never get out of the circle. all I want is to feel happy and free. that’s what I always say, but do I really mean it? its hard to tell based off of what I do or say.

#bpd stuff #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd symptoms #mental problems #mentally fucked #actually borderline #borderline blog #bpd problems #bpd struggles #deppressed #kinda depressing #dissasociation #depersonalization #winter depression #bpd #bpd things #bpd thoughts #major depressive disorder #tw depressing stuff #bpd feels #bpd traits #depressing shit #tw depressing thoughts #bpd mood #depressing quotes #bpd shit #depressing life #depressiv

[vixensofdeath]

i hate being overstimulated all day and when you don’t talk to people (in order to be nice and NOT hurt their feelings) they act like you’re mean. as soon as someone gets annoyed at me when im already annoyed, everything gets worse and you don’t want them to be mad but they’re making you mad. it’s just this horrible back and forth and then afterwards I end up apologizing even though it wasn’t just my fault. It makes me so frustrated because im trying to be a good person then people act like you’re far from that.

#bpd stuff #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd symptoms #mental problems #mentally fucked #actually borderline #borderline blog #bpd problems #bpd struggles #bpd rage #bpd mood #bpd vent #bpd thoughts #borderline thoughts #bpd traits #borderline personality disorder #bpd #bpd things #bpd feels #major depressive disorder #tw depressing stuff #depressing shit #tw depressing thoughts #depressing quotes #kinda depressing #bpd shit #depressing life #depressiv

[vixensofdeath]

ready to ruin my mental health and sleeping schedule on my break, nothing like rotting and freezing for two weeks!

#bpd stuff #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd symptoms #mental problems #mentally fucked #actually borderline #borderline blog #bpd problems #bpd struggles #bpd #major depressive disorder #bpd things #bpd thoughts #tw depressing stuff #depressing shit #tw depressing thoughts #bpd feels #bpd traits #depressing quotes #rotting #kinda depressing #bpd mood #bpd shit #depressing life #depressiv

[vixensofdeath]

I always feel like I’m cured until I get triggered and literally morph into a demon raging terror upon anyone who interacts with me the rest of the day. like why do people have to be pissing me off (they’re probably just living or they’re an asshole it really depends)

#bpd stuff #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd symptoms #mental problems #mentally fucked #actually borderline #borderline blog #bpd problems #bpd struggles #bpd rage #bpd feels #bpd thoughts #bpd mood #bpd traits #bpd #bpd things #bpd shit #tw depressing stuff #depressing shit #tw depressing thoughts #borderline personality problems #beautiful princess disorder

[vixensofdeath]

I am so tired and burnt out, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore

#bpd stuff #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd symptoms #mental problems #mentally fucked #actually borderline #borderline blog #bpd problems #bpd struggles #major depressive disorder #bpd #tw depressing stuff #bpd things #bpd thoughts #depressing shit #tw depressing thoughts #depressing quotes #kinda depressing #bpd feels #depressiv #derealization #sorry for being depressing #bpd traits #depressing life #bpd mood #bpd shit

[vixensofdeath]

my life has just been a series of waiting to feel better and never being able to because someone or something happening. I’m tired of going two steps back every time I step forward. I just wish there were something out there for me, and if there is, I wish it’d come faster.

#bpd stuff #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd symptoms #mental problems #mentally fucked #actually borderline #borderline blog #bpd problems #bpd struggles #dissasociation #manic depressive #depersonalization #bpd traits #depressing life #depressiv #bpd mood #bpd shit #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #t

[vixensofdeath]

why are people so shocked and concerned when my borderline personality is being borderline.. like yes, my mind isn’t stable I don’t just say or do things because it’s silly

#bpd stuff #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd symptoms #mental problems #mentally fucked #actually borderline #borderline blog #bpd problems #bpd struggles #bpd feels #beautiful princess disorder #major depressive disorder #bpd #tw depressing stuff #bpd things #bpd thoughts #depressing shit #tw depressing thoughts #depressing quotes #kinda depressing #bpd traits #borderline personality problems #living with borderline #borderline thoughts #borderline personality disorder #depressing life #depressiv #bpd mood #bpd shit

[vixensofdeath]

I can’t tell if I want to kill me or someone else more atp. I don’t mean to be a bitch, to be rude, to get upset so much I explode but I do and in the end I hurt myself and others. I need to stop but I can’t I don’t know what the hell to do when my mind gets so overloaded with violence and hatred. I’m a kind person, I’m a good person, but it’s like I have two different sides I switch to and when I switch it’s like that.

#bpd stuff #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd symptoms #mental problems #mentally fucked #actually borderline #borderline blog #bpd problems #bpd struggles #borderline personality problems #living with borderline #borderline thoughts #personality disorder #vent post #borderline personality disorder #major depressive disorder #bpd #tw depressing stuff #bpd things #bpd thoughts #depressing shit #tw depressing thoughts #depressing quotes #kinda depressing #bpd traits #anger issues #female anger #anger vent

[vixensofdeath]

sometimes I wish I never could think because it’s all I do now. all day long it’s me overthinking about everything or just me thinking about things I really just don’t want to think about. my brain is like a swarm of flies that never goes away.

#bpd stuff #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd symptoms #mental problems #mentally fucked #actually borderline #borderline blog #bpd problems #bpd struggles #mentally exhausted #whats wrong with me #alone with my thoughts #manic depressive #mentally drained #mentally tired #im not mentally stable #mentally unstable #major depressive disorder #bpd #tw depressing stuff #bpd things #bpd thoughts #depressing shit #tw depressing thoughts #depressing quotes #kinda depressing #bpd traits #depressing life #depressiv

[vixensofdeath]

I destroy myself to make me feel better but in the end I always feel worse.

#bpd stuff #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd symptoms #mental problems #mentally fucked #actually borderline #borderline blog #bpd problems #bpd struggles #mentally exhausted #whats wrong with me #manic depressive #alone with my thoughts #manic depression #major depressive disorder #bpd #tw depressing stuff #bpd things #bpd thoughts #depressing shit #tw depressing thoughts #depressing quotes #kinda depressing #bpd traits #borderline personality problems #personality disorder #trauma

[vixensofdeath]

it’s the time of year where I go back into hiding and where I reach a new rock bottom that seems to somehow get continuously worse each time

#bpd stuff #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd symptoms #mental problems #mentally fucked #actually borderline #borderline blog #bpd problems #bpd struggles #winter depression #kinda depressing #depressing shit #major depressive disorder #tw depressing stuff #tw depressing thoughts #bpd things #bpd thoughts #depressing quotes #bpd #depressing life #depressiv #bpd traits #borderline personality problems #mentally tired #mentally drained #mentally exhausted #whats wrong with me #alone with my thoughts

[vixensofdeath]

all I need right now is to be held like the big baby I am

#bpd stuff #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd symptoms #mental problems #mentally fucked #actually borderline #borderline blog #bpd problems #bpd struggles #mentally tired #mentally exhausted #whats wrong with me #alone with my thoughts #mental illness #abandoment issues #major depressive disorder #tw depressing stuff #bpd #tw depressing thoughts #bpd things #bpd thoughts #depressing quotes #depressing shit #depressing life #depressiv #bpd mood #mood swings #kinda depressing #bpd traits

[vixensofdeath]

I love and hate when I feel nothing. I go through periods where my mind is radio silent and where I don’t lash out. I’m not happy, I’m not sad, I’m not angry, I’m just nothing. It’s nice to feel nothing until my life is consumed by it. I crave to feel something, because numbly staring out into space gets boring and makes me feel fake. But, when I do feel, it’s all I feel. It’s always so intense and I never get a break. I just want to feel and think normally without having these thoughts take over and ruin everything for me. I hate feeling broken, why can’t I just be normal?

#bpd stuff #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd symptoms #mental problems #mentally fucked #actually borderline #borderline blog #bpd problems #bpd struggles #bpd rage #bpd feels #bpd thoughts #bpd mood #bpd traits #bpd #bpd things #bpd vent #bpd shit #major depressive disorder #tw depressing stuff #tw depressing thoughts #depressing quotes #depressing shit #depressing life #depressiv #kinda depressing #borderline personality problems #personality disorder #personality disorders

[vixensofdeath]

I disassociate the whole day then wonder why I don’t remember anything

#bpd stuff #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd symptoms #mental problems #mentally fucked #actually borderline #borderline blog #bpd problems #bpd struggles #deppressed #depersonalization #major depressive disorder #tw depressing stuff #bpd #tw depressing thoughts #bpd things #bpd thoughts #depressing quotes #depressing shit #depressing life #depressiv #bpd rage #bpd feels #bpd mood