BPD is so confusing. I don't want to be in another relationship again, I'm too afraid of them leaving me. But I want to have sex. I can't have casual sex though. Now I want more than that, I want to cuddle and be told that I'm precious and such a good girl. I want someone to tell me how good I'm doing and how proud they are of me. I want to cuddle someone to sleep while I'm wearing a t-shirt and they're completely naked. I want them to spoon me. But I'm too scared to be in another relationship. I can't deal with another person leaving me. I can't deal with anyone else, period. I'm tired of people. I'm tired of being used. I deserve to be alone. I deserve to rot. I deserve everything that comes to me but God damnit deep down I know I just want to be truly, purely, completely loved.
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It's like a Rollercoaster ride that doesn't end. Your stuck on the ride for life.
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Everyone is doing things with their lives except me... Anyways time to rot in bed again!!!!
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sorry I cried and told you I was gonna kill myself over a small thing, I have crying and wanting to kill myself over small things disorder
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