#can’t stop thinking about his masochist quote

[fatsmyname]

me when i frank your iero 😨

#my art #frank iero #mcr #mcr frank #falling headfirst into mcr hyperfixation in 2023 like the insane lesbian I am #I refused to draw him before because it would make the fixation real #and I finally caved in #he’s fun to draw tho so 😗 #can’t stop thinking about his masochist quote #have been listening to so much ls dunes lately too…. #my chemical romance

[nataliaphantomhivesblog]

Predictions for Soukoku’s fate (BSD CH 109 spoilers!!)

How I be looking after dedicating two posts on the possibility of Chuuya not being a vampire due to the fact he was faceless for absolutley no reason during some chapters, thinking it was important: 

alright people, i wish i could express my embarassment further but instead of kicking my feet, screaming and crying over my miscalculations, i will proceed to (hopefully) redeem myself with my following predictions.  

Guys, first of all I need to tell you something that I think is absolutely obvious: Dazai is not going to die. 

thematically, it makes absolutley no sense for Dazai to die considering how many characters still depend on him, EVEN HIMSELF.

We still haven’t learned his backstory, we still haven’t had a cathartic moment between Akutagwa and Dazai, Atsushi is yet to learn more from his mentor, and he’s overall a very key character to foil others and develop them while he’s at it.

Even Dazai himself dying right now feels extremely weightless, we haven’t even learned anything about Dazai’s past and he’s already killed? without growing as a person? without fullfilling Oda’s promise?  I don’t know, personally to me, direction wise, development wise and plot wise killing him off is absolutley nonsensical.

Asagiri does tend to take a very unique and unpredictable route with his writing and characters, but for plots sake, I highly doubt Dazai is gone forever.

Also, Fydoor and Dazai continue throwing uno reverse cards at each other, always catching one another unexpectedly. I am still going strong on the idea that Double Black will catch Fyodor off-guard.

Fyodor during these whole prision sections has been constantly belittling and teasing Dazai over how shallow his bond with Chuuya is.

When that’s beyond the truth. Dazai and Chuuya’s trust is literally undying. Stormbringer, the double black chapter and dead apple show us this in the most obvious way possible.

Asagiri himself has quoted that Soukoku knows each others motives, which has also been proven plenty of times when they are working together. 

Dazai himself admited there really was moments where their hearts reached out to one another.

and I think that’s enough to understand, Fyodor is wrong. THEY ARE DOUBLE BLACK FOR A REASON!!!

So far in this chapter, I got various things confirmed. Let’s walk through them together. 

1. Dazai’s nullifcation ability works on vampires, confirmed by Fyodor himself.

So what does this tell us? That Dazai had been planning all along to get in contact with Chuuya. He knew his partner’s abilities will break him out of the water trap, he’s not dumb.

So Dazaj totally meant to get in physical contact with Chuuya in order to nullify his vamparism. And no, it’s not only because Dazai cares for Chuuya (which is a true statement, but not the main reason.) It’s because out of everyone in this room, Chuuya is the only one able to physically overpower Fyodor. 

And even if Chuuya somehow can’t overpower Fyodor, atleast Chuuya can be Dazai’s bodyguard considering well...Dazai’s countless of injuries. Chuuya is Dazai’s ticket to get out of the prision.

Dazai needs Chuuya in his corner. He needs double black in action. He needs Chuuya. 

2. Dazai is genuienly frustrated that his plan to bring back Chuuya didn’t work.

I can’t be the only one who ADORED seeing Dazai panicking. (I sound so masochistic but seriously, it’s rare to see Dazai unmask this way).

Anyways, Dazai’s panic and frustrating during these pannels are unfortunately proof that things did not go at all how he planned.

3. Aya is attempting to take out the sword that stops Bram from having full atonomy on his vampire abilty. 

If by any luck, Aya is able to detach the swoard from Bram, Chuuya and literally every other vamp will return to normal. (which honestly, let’s do hope Aya removes the sword bc this is getting too agonizingly dragged out.)

4. Chuuya and Dazai are destined to....

 kiss?? marry?? make out under the moonlight??

Nono my friends, Chuuya and Dazai are destined to die together.

Chuuya and Dazai dying together has been hinted since Fifthteen, but my theory of these two dying together strenghtened during Stormbringer when Mori teased Dazai about a double suicide with Chuuya.

I’m not saying they will die right now but in order to solidify the need for Shin Soukoku in Yokahama.....

This old married couple gotta go and make room for the highschool sweethearts/hj

5. Dazai took the L

Honestly, I won’t lie to you and say that Dazai’s way out of this situation is going to be hard. But Dazai has attempted to kill himself plenty of times, I wouldn’t be surprised if he has shot a bullet through his head in his early 20s. (Im not joking when I say this i swear).

Anyways, Dazai seems somewhat imune to death and honestly, his character is too important to die, especially in such a meh, anticlimatic way. 

Dazai said it himself best, him and Chuuya are destined to die together.

6. Vampire Chuuya’s expression

I mean,,,, what is the need for the random three little pensive speach bubble ?? we have been proven by Akutagawa that vampires are capable of some sort of sentinence, especially when it’s tied to their deepest desieres/mental strenghts.

I don’t have anywhere grand to go with this but, I just wanted to point it out lol.

ALL IN ALL

I can’t say for sure what is going to happen, but with Aya’s attempts of removing the swoard the possibility for Chuuya to become concious and do something to get out of there and save Dazai still remain pausible in my books.

I am not too confident on where this section of the story will go exactly but I am certain that Soukoku won’t die yet. MARK MY WORDS!!!

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd spoilers #bsd 109 #bsd manga #bsd chapter 109 spoilers #analysis #soukoku #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #fyodor dostoevsky #Ryūnosuke Akutagawa #atsushi nakajima #aya bsd #bram stoker #bsd analysis #soukoku analysis #manga

[ronance4everbrainrot]

Since I am back from the dead I had a funny idea.

Stranger things incorrect quote generator (feat. The Dead Ones, Nancy and Barb :D, Hawkins and California group)

Pt. 17 (I think)

✨✨✨

Barb: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?

Bob: Maybe a bit tipsy?

Chrissy: Drunk.

Billy: Wasted.

Eddie: Dead.

(Seems accurate. Idk what to say)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Barb: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it.

Barb: Everything will be fine. You have no choice.

Eddie: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that?

Barb: Ominous positivity.

(The First and last person to die in the upside down? I think. Also Barb trying to comfort Eddie but just confusing him)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Billy: So what’s for dinner?

Bob: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise!

Billy: …

Billy: Is it soup?

Bob: I soup-pose it could be! *winks*

Billy: Please, enough with the soup puns!

Bob: Wow, you’re soup-per mean.

Billy: STOP!

*one hour later*

Billy: It’s fucking tacos?!?!?!

(bob being the dad of the dead kids)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Billy: I’m a masochist, not a loser.

(sure Jan)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Billy: You’re charged with…..breaking into a pet store?

Barb: I thought the animals might be lonely.

(Barb wants to show that she's cool and did something illegal. You are the coolest barb)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Bob: I’ve organized your messages into three categories.

Bob: “From Billy”

Bob: “Death Threats”

Bob: and “Death Threats From Billy”

(They are all just death threats really besides the occasional ,when is food ready, text)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Fred: That’s illegal, right?

Billy: Why do you care? Are you a fucking cop?

Fred: No-

Billy: Then shut the fuck up.

(Welp)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Billy: You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol.

(honestly I don't like that it's mostly billy so let's change that)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Fred, going fishing: I’m going LIE to fish!

(bad boy on the loose)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eddie, on the phone: Where are you?

Chrissy: I told you, I’m at work

Eddie: Swear you’re not at Chuck E Cheese again?

*skee ball machine alarm goes off in the background*

(Chrissyyy what are you doing there. Aren't you banned? The reason to me is unknown)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Chrissy: Have I ever told you that you cook well?

Eddie: Awww, no, you haven't!

Chrissy: So why do you keep cooking?

(damn. let him cook)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eddie: What scares you guys the most?

Eddie: Werewolves!

Chrissy: Sharks.

Alexei: The unstoppable marching of time that is slowly guiding us all towards an inevitable death.

Bob:

Bob: Alexei.

(Alexei. He's also here. Yay ✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eddie: Can I ask a dumb question?

Alexei: Better than anyone I know.

(he also learned English while he was/is dead)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Chrissy: Sweet dog you got there.

Police: Yes, this is our new drug sniffing dog.

Chrissy: Still training huh?

Police: What do you mean?

Chrissy:

Chrissy: Never mind.

(she met with Eddie again)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eddie: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl....

Fred: ....

Barb: .....

Bob: ......

Chrissy: ..Who?

Eddie: That's the thing we don't-

*Everyone stares at Chrissy*

(who 🦉)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Barb: Go to hell!

Eddie: Where do you think I come from?

(That's why it's called the hellfire club. Maybe)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eddie: Chrissy, you need to calm down.

Chrissy, slamming their fists on the table: BUT HOW CAN IT BE "BIRTHDAY CAKE" FLAVOR IF A BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR?!

(actually true. That does not make sense)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Alexei: Fred, why are you crying?

Fred: This book is so sad!!

Alexei, picking it up: But this is my diary-

(writing about his life and when he died and missing Murray 😪)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*Chrissy is ordering a cake over the phone*

Shop Employee: …and what would you like your cake to say?

Chrissy, covering the phone to look at The Squad: Do we want a talking cake?

(no thank you. I don't want to hear its screams when it is cut)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Barb, to Chrissy: If you see Fred, give them this message *makes a neutral face*

Barb: They'll know what it means.

*later*

Chrissy: oh, and Barb said to give you a message.

Chrissy: *makes a neutral face*

Fred: Oh no. The neutral face of displeasure.

(Nancy made that face a lot)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Alexei: I'm gonna need a human skull but you can't ask why.

Chrissy: Only if you also don't ask why.

Chrissy: *pulls four pristine human skulls out of their bag*

Alexei: ...

Alexei, grabbing a skull: This one will do.

(what is going on.... actually no. Don't tell me)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[Nancy and Barb]

Barb: Nancy, we tried things your way.

Nancy: No, we didn't.

Barb: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

(barb is always trying to convince Nancy not to be stupid)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Barb: Last night, I had a dream about sandwich pizza.

Nancy: What?

Barb: It was pizza with bread on the top and the bottom.

Nancy: So a calzone?

Barb: You can’t just name things I dream up.

(I love calzone 😋🤌)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Why do you hang out with me?

Barb: You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me!

Nancy: …

Nancy: I feel a bit sorry for you.

(Sad but true.)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Barb: *seductively takes off glasses* Wow, you're... blurry.

(best compliment ever)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[Barb and Nancy +Robin]

Robin: Hey, babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds?

Nancy: Yes?

Robin: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days.

Nancy: Fuck.

Robin: It's gonna be a fun week!

Nancy: I'm going to Barb's house.

Robin: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, motherfucker.

(that's what the wedding vows said)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Barb: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.

Nancy: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you.

*Robin walks in*

Nancy: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

(Totally wouldn't have done it if it weren't the rules)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Robin annoyed me today so I told them that I can’t wait to see what they have planned for our special day tomorrow.

Barb: There is nothing special about tomorrow.

Nancy: But there is something special about watching the color leave their face as panic takes over.

(Poor Robin)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Nancy: Wasn’t Barb with you?

Barb: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

(Barb and Robin creating chaos 👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Hi, who's this? Barb changed all of my contacts to mythical creatures.

Nancy: What's mine?

Robin: Dwarf.

Nancy: THEY'RE SO MEAN, I'M NOT THAT SHORT!

Robin: Oh, hey Nancy.

Nancy: FUCK!

(hehehe :3)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Barb: That shirt looks great, Robin.

Robin: Thanks.

Barb: But I bet it would look even better on Nancy's floor.

Nancy: Are you hitting on Robin... for me?

(well you wouldn't do it yourself so)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*Barb and Nancy flirting with each other yet again*

Robin: And you two are sure you're not dating?

Barb: 100%

Nancy: Of course not! Why would you think that?

Robin: I wonder why that possibility would even cross my mind, Nancy. I fucking wonder.

(I see it and I love it)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[Hawkins group]

Cop: What are your names?

Robin: Don't tell them, Nancy.

Cop, writing: Nancy...

Robin: Crap.

Nancy: Nice going, Robin.

Cop, writing: Robin...

Nancy: Uh oh..

(when they got caught by the police after visiting Viktor lol)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*during a group project*

Dustin: *does 99 of the work*

Lucas: *has no idea what’s going on*

Steve: *says they’re gonna help but does not*

Max: *disappears at the very beginning and doesn’t show up again until the very end*

(not that accurate but Dustin just being smart ✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*Eddie and Steve are fighting*

Dustin, taking aspirin: I have a headache! Can you guys just be cool?!

*Eddie and Steve start fighting while wearing sunglasses and riding skateboards*

(omg so chill and cool)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Steve: Thanks for not telling Eddie what happened.

Dustin, dumbfounded: I wouldn’t even know where to begin trying to explain this.

(Steve was trying to learn DnD and chaos somehow broke out)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Have I ever told you that I love you with my whole heart?

Nancy: For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to McDonalds. It’s 2am!

Robin: Mean.

(Yes, very mean. Give Robin her McDonalds)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy, texting Robin: Hey do you like anyone?

Robin: Yeah you

Nancy: Oh, I'm sorry we're just friends

Robin: *Yeah, you?

Nancy: Oh haha sorry lol

Robin: *dies inside*

(I feel ya gurl. I feel ya. 😪)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: You are, of course, wondering why it is I have brought you here tonight.

Lucas: Actually, Max, after all these years, I just sort of go with it.

(Well that's because you are a simp. But same)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Erica: *chokes on something*

Lucas: Jeez, Erica, don't die on us.

Erica: Don't tell me what to do, I'll die whenever the hell I want!

(you tell him, Erica 💪)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: But that place is haunted.

Lucas: Ghosts prey on fear. Just be confident!

Robin, marching into the haunted house I AM NOT SCARED! I AM NOT A PUSSY!

(entering Victor's house)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: Isn't it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they're annoying?

Lucas: Damn, if people did that to each other, Erica would've killed me years ago.

(nah. She wouldn't.. or would she 👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: I love sarcasm! It’s like punching people in the face, but with words!

(hell yeah 💪👊)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[California group]

Argyle: Why are your tongues purple?

Mike: We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Will: I had a red one.

Argyle: oh.

Argyle:

Argyle: OH.

El:

El: You drank eachothers slushies?

(My sweet El, I love you. Also byler✨💪)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Will: You know, sometimes I really think I can be too straight.

Mike, covered in bi merch and sipping an iced coffee: Sucks to be you.

(With the way he's getting all the girls I'd believe that. While mike is pulling no one and he is bi-himself)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El: I drink to forget but I always remember.

Jonathan: You're drinking orange juice.

(Poor El🥺 get her stronger orange juice!💪)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Argyle*

Argyle: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

(he is absolutely a 10. Also he takes good care of his beautiful hair)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El: Would it be discrimination to only hire employees at my doughnut shop who have the same name?

Jonathan: Legally, I don't believe that breaches any discrimination laws. Morally though... I don't know.

El: I believe god is on my side when it comes to Duncans' Doughnuts.

(I can only think of one Duncan and it's from Total drama.)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*El recording whilst Argyle and Jonathan are arguing*

Argyle: HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP!! HER SISTER WAS A WITCH, RIGHT? AND WHAT WAS HER SISTER? A PRINCESS! THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST, BRO!

El: *wheezes like a tea kettle*

Jonathan, pulling out a knife: I'm gonna stab them.

Argyle: YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG? AM I WRONG?

Jonathan: It's my favorite movi-

Argyle: SHE WORE A CROWN AND SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE, JONATHAN!

Jonathan: I'm not fighting with you, I'm not fighting with y-

Argyle: GROW UP, BRO. GROW UP!

(I love that video. Also they are high as fuck)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: Hey, can I get a sip of that water?

Argyle: It’s not water.

Jonathan: Vodka! I like your sty-

Argyle: It’s vinegar.

Jonathan: …What?

Argyle: It's vinegar, PUSSY.

(that's how they became friends)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Mike: *closes a cabinet*

*a crash is heard behind the cabinet door*

Will: What was that?

Mike: The sound of someone else's problem.

(I feel ya. But it's annoying when you forget that you did that and then you are that someone else whose problem it's gonna be)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El: Why is Jonathan crying on the floor?

Will: They took one of those 'what person are you?' quizzes.

El: And?

Will: They got Mike.

(Jonathan started the hate make club.)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle, Mike & Will: *screaming*

El: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Will?!

Argyle: Wait, why are you asking Will that when Mike and I are also here?

El: Because Will wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

(idk but feels accurate enough. Also I say that a lot I think)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El: Why is there blood everywhere?

Will: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife.

El: You stabbed someone?!

Will: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife.

(The chaos siblings ✨💪 also yes it was just an aggressive poke)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Will: I mean, sure, I have my bad days, but then I remember what a cute smile I have.

(you absolutely do 🥺✨)

✨✨✨

So here it is. I'm too lazy to tag the other stuff.

Also

I am almost finished with my ronance thing that I mentioned in that post before (I think the newest after this idk) but I don't like the way it turned out but I also don't want to change it all Soo if it's gonna come out maybe this week someday but don't know for sure.

Anyway

You can give suggestions on which people of what groups you want to see!

Lots of love ✨👋😋✨

#stranger things incorrect quotes #stranger things #long post #incorrect ronance #ronance

[orphiconeirataxia]

I have this recurring thought

him coming for me, finding me

holding his arms out so I can jump into them.

I think about him so much it burns my insides,

like letting a blender tear me apart.

I want to cry out his name in hopes he’ll hear me from wherever he is.

I love him.

The words are like double-edged swords.

They shock me as I pull them from my heart.

I love him so much.

I can’t lose him.

I don’t want to wake up until he comes for me,

even though that day might never come.

I want the thoughts to be silenced and go back to sleep.

Small doesn’t begin to describe how I’m feeling now. Why would he want me to forget?

I want it to happen again.

Cant he see that?

I want to be the only one who know his mind in and out. I want to be the only one that know his secrets.

And I will think these thoughts as loudly as he needs me to.

He has a beautiful mind, He’s a masterpiece

I have never seen anything so sexy. He makes me lose all sense of decency.

My heart slips from its shelf, falling the way it would when your foot misses a step.

But He’s toyed with my feelings. Feelings I’ve never had before.

These emotions seep in like a poisonous fog. I beg them to go away.

The despair is all too familiar.

It was impulsive. A mistake.

I have to stop liking at him like that. top looking at him like that, Some lines cannot be uncrossed.

But I don’t care at all,

The room fades from existence

I still want him to hold me, I want his arms to pull me against his chest. Just wrapped in his possession.

I made him smile,

God what I’d do to see it more often

For a moment we are like children playing in the rain, a thunderstorm in the forest.

And that elation is quickly replaced with something else entirely.

A chain that wraps around my heart, tightening to the point of pain.

Until I’m frozen.

Until I’m paralyzed.

I have refused to look at him. The ache in my chest has taken on a new shape.

I use isolation and go insane.

There can’t be this tension.

If anything I need my friend back for what comes next.

But I won’t give him that satisfaction…yet.

What if we’re trapped here forever? Not being friends.

There is no need to overreact now, right?

…..

Somebody help me!

He’s a lie!

A dry sob breaks through my pursed lips and gritted teeth.

But I still want him!

It hurts but I love it, I love him!

A true masochist. Finds pleasure in his own pain and torture.

He’s-not-coming

I’ll always love him.

Until hell freezes over.

And even then.

if I tried hard enough, maybe I could fade into the lost memories.

It all felt so real

…..

I would like the pain to go away now.

I don’t feel-

But that’s the only words I have. I. Don’t. Feel.

…..

He’s all gone now.

*These are all quotes (some altered) from the book “The Master and the Marionette” By Brandi Elise Szeker*

This took longer than it should have 😅

#love #writing #heartache #feelings #painful #sad thoughts #fml fml fml #heartbreak #longing #quotes

[cheyenneisthedisaster]

This year I grew further and further away from who I truly am as a person. I have with my own actions caused so much pain and damage to my own life that isn’t on Alex, I chose the relationship over, quite frankly, a really great man. Not a perfect one, but a great one. Adding Alex’s own demons to the mix brought out PTSD and substance abuse manic behaviors, looking back now, taking my meds as I should, and really reflecting on the decisions I’ve made to allow these things to happen to me, there are many many times I could’ve been and should’ve been better. I care more about how my actions effect others then the quality of my own life, and that needs to change for me. I felt a lot of the insanity I endured this past year was deserved because of what I did to my husband. Mentally when Alex came into my life i was vulnerable and manipulated, but it doesn’t change the fact that im a grown ass woman and did this to myself when I have so much potential.

I can’t fix Alex. I was naive to think love would be enough. And that I hated looking in the mirror at what I had done to my life, I fixated on Alex, his demons and ultimately perpetuated the insanity. My husband deserves peace and so does everyone else. Period. Poor man is exhausted of being the ‘white knight’ everytime something happens that is completely out of his control. As Alex spiraled I should’ve backed off, you invest so much of yourself and give so much that you don’t want to see things for what they are. I can’t save him, I can’t clean up his messes anymore and ultimately I enable alot of these situations to occur because I myself am not strong enough to make the right decision. Sometimes unconditional love is stepping away. Knowing when shit is to toxic and chaotic to keep moving forward. It’s okay to love someone and cheer them on from a far, but I’m just fuel to the flames.

It’s time I take the necessary steps to fix myself, understand that I am blessed to have the support system I do and go into a treatment program that will help me love myself again. Alex and I’s relationship is pretty masochistic on my end. 30-60 days with a team of professionals to heal myself to a standard that is culpable to regular society is what’s best for me, my presence and own personal issues with Alex boil to this point each time. God gave me a chance, and some Moments I’m pissed, and I point fingers at Alex but in my world, I’m my own villain. Not a lot of people get the opportunity that I am receiving, and it’s time I take it. You know, all things happen for a reason, and god has a plan, and all of this might’ve happened to catapult me in the direction I need to in my life. To stop fucking complaining and take control of my own life and choices. My quality of life is what I make it to be. Alex never asked me to martyr myself for him. Quite frankly that’s stupid because martyrs die. I’m also far from a saint in so many ways. Alex isn’t a bad man, he has his own Demons to reconcile with, and his healing Cannot have me as a part of it. Not now at least, maybe not ever. But I refuse to sit here and pretend it was all bad, we had a lot of good. At one point he had enough love and hope for himself that he choose sobriety. Maybe without the constant reminder of our short comings he can find it in himself to heal, find that beauty and hope within himself that he had when we met. The spark that made me fall for him in the first place.

The anger I feel is misguided, anger is such a cop out. It’s used to deflect from the bereavement I feel from living in the consequences of my own actions and ultimately situations I allowed myself to be put in. I myself am pretty stubborn; I have a masochistic way of learning lessons in the absolute most destitute way I possibly could. I love to quote Robert Frost;

‘I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.”

Well it’s time I make a difference in my own life with the chance god gave me. I’m brilliant at throwing egregiously large stones standing inside of this glass fortress I’ve constructed out of my own life. My mother always said, “do as I say not as I do”; at almost 30 my choices aren’t cute little stumbles anymore. They are abhorrently hypocritical and catastrophic too just about everyone around me. It’s always easier to pick apart others, then it is to take that long hard, needed, look in the mirror. Alex and I are just two idiots standing in a circle pointing fingers at each other; while I reflect on it, it’s absolutely quite embarrassing for our age. We are both choosing to live this life, either one of us is free to opt out. Yet we stubbornly chose not to do so- time and time again. This last Tuesday, god smacked me back into reality; “Cheyenne, it’s time to opt out or I will for you”.

[holylulusworld]

Smirk of the devil

Title: Smirk of the devil

Summary: He’s the devil in disguise.

Square filled for @spnquotebingo​​​​​​: (“Believe me, I’ve been asking myself the same question for two years.” – SPN)

Word Count: 1,9k

Pairing: Clubowner!Dean x fem!Reader

Characters: Sam Winchester, Ruby, Gadreel, unnamed girl

Rating: Explicit

Warnings:  angst, language, smut, unprotected sex, a hint of fluff, mentions of cheating (implied), sadness, toxic relationship?, unrequited feelings, Dean hurt the reader more than once, hopeful ending but no happy ending

Divider by @firefly-graphics​​​

SPN Quote Bingo masterlist

“Excuse me, miss,“ a young girl, barely twenty-one coos. She looks up at you with big doe eyes, batting her eyelashes. “I’m looking for Dean Winchester. He asked me to come here at nine.”

“No, you don’t,” anyone not knowing you would think you are trying to be rude to the girl, but this is so far from the truth. “Girls like you shouldn’t come to places like these.” you huff when the girl rolls her eyes. “You don’t want to meet up with Dean.”

“And you know this why?” she sasses, hands on her hips now. 

You can smell the strawberry chewing gum she tortured the whole time and can’t help but chuckle at her bratty attitude. Once upon a time, you were just like her.

Sweet, innocent, an intact heart beating in your chest.

“You’re not my mom. So, why do you think you can keep me away from Dean,” you’d like to slap her face at the ‘mom’ comment but bite your tongue. You never were a violent person. Maybe if you were, Dean would run around with one ball missing. “I bet you’re just jealous he wants me.”

What can you possibly tell the girl? That he will break her heart. That, once he has you in his clutches he will strip off your dignity, rip any pride left out of your chest and replace your former self with a drooling mess, begging him to do it all over again.

“Speak of the devil,” you whisper, watching Dean waltz into his club, the bunker, the place you first met. Those days seem a lifetime away. Back then you still were a cute and clueless girl, missing the way he tainted you with every touch and kiss. 

“I want to speak to him, now,” the girl pouts and you get the feeling she’s rather a girl scout wanting to sell cookies than her pussy to a man she won’t be able to handle. “NOW!”

“It’s your funeral, sweet cheeks,” you wave her off, walk past the girl to talk to Dean Winchester, the devil himself. Oh, how you wish you could tell him to go to hell, but you would only beg him to take you with him.

“Sweetheart,” he dips his head, shamelessly roams your body with darkened eyes, “you look ready to get eaten.” damn him, he smirks, and you get weak in the knees. “And you will—”

“Another of your fangirls,” you jerk your head in the girl’s direction, rolling your eyes. “Guess you are down to high school girls now, Winchester. Shame on you.”

“Jealous?” he cocks his head, watches you turn on your heels, ignoring your racing heart when he walks behind you, one hand on the small of your back. “So, how’s it going with your mysterious boyfriend lately?”

“Wonderful,” you grit out, already walking faster to brush Dean off. “I told you, no questions about my love life or I’ll quit once for all, Dean. Go, take care of your girl.”

It’s when he walks toward the girl that you allow yourself to admire his back, his broad shoulders, and, yes, his ass.

“Ogling my brother again?” Sam stands too close for comfort, but you don’t mind. “What’s the state of your on-and-off relationship? Who’s winning this round?”

“No one is going to win shit, Sammy. Dean wants to fuck every woman with a pulse, and I want a faithful man, period,” you turn your attention back toward the bartender who wanted to talk to you about the latest order.

“He’s hard to handle, I told you so,” Sam nudges your side. “Why don’t you lay claim on him and show any woman he’s yours.”

“Dean is not my man, never was,” you sigh, eyes filled with unshed tears once again. “When we met, he did anything to get me, and then, he dropped me like any other girl. I’m not what he wants, Sam. Dean lives for his club, Baby, and having sex with any woman he can get into his bed…”

“Bunny hole would be the better name for this shithole,” you grit out, downing your first drink of the night. “Give me another one, Gade. I wanna get drunk tonight.”

“Sweetheart, you shouldn’t drink at work,” Dean sits on the barstool next to you, grinning when you grasp for the next drink. 

He easily snatches the drink out of your hands, downing it in one go, slamming the glass onto the counter. “Your boss could catch you red-handed and fire you or slap your ass. Whatever you prefer.”

“Go ahead and fire me, Winchester. This shithole will go down without the manager keeping it alive,” you quip. “Now let me have another drink. My shift is almost over.”

“Almost,” he whispers in your ear, fingertips sliding over your thigh to hike up your skirt. “How about we talk about this at my office in the back, Miss Y/L/N?” you place your hand on top of Dean’s to guide it to his thigh, hiding you shivered at his touch.

“Don’t hurt yourself, boss,” you lean closer to whisper the words. “I think you had enough fun with little miss sunshine not an hour ago. I hope you checked she was at age, Dean.”

“Jesus, I asked her to come around for a job, nothing else,” Dean grumbles, hand moving toward your thigh again. “I don’t play with girls, only with women.”

“Yeah, I remember how well you played with half of the female population in town,” snickering Dean slides off his barstool to stand behind you. He’s caging you with his body, places both hands on each side of the bar counter.

“You were one of them, and I remember you were so eager to get out of that cute dress you wore only for me, sweetheart,” he husks in your ear. “Come to my office, Miss Y/L/N, and let’s talk about your behavior lately.”

“If you insist, boss,” you hate you follow him all too eager.

While Dean waltzes toward his office, waving at people, you fight your way through the masses, unbeknownst Sam is following your every step with his eyes.

“She will fall for him all over again,” Ruby sighs. The brunette sips at her drink while sitting on Sam’s lap. “Can you not tell your brother to stop breaking my friend’s heart? She deserves better for fuck’s sake. Two years ago, she found a nice guy and tried to quit only to do the walk of shame the next morning.”

“I can’t help two fools in love to find their way. I tried, Baby. Don’t ask me to talk to my brother about love again. He’s stubborn. You know that Ruby.”

“I know, still, she deserves better than a quick fuck at his office only to end up alone and weeping on the floor for weeks after he had his way with her…”

“Fuck, Y/N,” Dean groans with every thrust. “I’ve missed this tight little cunt around me.” you hate yourself for letting Dean in once again while he takes you apart.

What can a girl do when he has you pressed against the wall the moment he closed the door behind you. His lips on yours, his hands on your ass to heave you up to hold you against the wall.

His thrusts are more demanding tonight, his lips tender against your throat and his hand, well his hands hold you a little tighter. “Dean, fuck—we shouldn’t.”

“A little too late for regrets,” the devil moans in your neck, moves a little slower to drag his thick length against your walls. “You’re so wet for me, Sugar.” you whimper at the nickname. 

It brings back memories of all the nights he called you like that, voice hoarse and his eyes only set on you.

“Go to hell—” you finally choke out, still, you hold tight onto his shoulders when he starts to fuck up into you at a madding pace. 

“I’ll just take you with me,” he grips your ass tighter, moves you up and down his length while his lips do the worst thing possible – they claim yours in a bruising kiss, take your breath away. 

Dean moans against your soft pillows, ignores a single tear that runs down your cheek or that your cunt flutters around him.

“You’re mine, my girl,” he demands, hips jerking uncontrollably now. “Never gonna let you go. Just hold tight, baby.”

You grasp for his shoulders, dig your nails deep into his skin when you can’t hold back the approaching high anymore. A wave of pleasure washes over you and for a moment everything is like it should be—until it isn’t. 

His warmth fills you and you remember the way he ended things, right after he fucked you against the wall at his place.

“What if you let me fall?” there is so much fear and pain hidden behind those few words Dean stops moving for a moment. He just looks at you pinned to the wall, bare and vulnerable right in front of him. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Why do you always keep coming back to me?” he nips at your lips, hands wrapping around your back. “Why, baby?”

“Believe me, I’ve been asking myself the same question for two years,” you give Dean a sad smile, eyes filled with tears again. “Maybe I’m a masochist and like to get hurt. I don’t know why I let you in over and over again only to get broken.”

“I hate to break it for you, but we have this thing going on for almost six years,” Dean laughs when you punch his shoulder. “Maybe a little longer.”

“I know, dumbass,” you shake your head. “Two years ago, I found a new job and tried to leave town, but then you dragged me back into your life, and since then…”

“You try to escape me and my charming personality…”

“Why are you still here?” looking over your shoulder you wonder why Dean didn’t leave your place like he always does after he got what he wanted. “Isn’t one of your other girls waiting for you?”

“I told you that the girl was there for a job, not to suck my dick,” he kicks his shoes off and drops his shirt to the ground before he unzips his pants. “I want to stay the night.”

“Why?” watching Dean strip his socks off you frown. “Dean, you don’t need to pretend shit, okay. We both know I was just convenient again.” you turn around, not wanting to face the devil again. If you do, he’ll drag you down to hell again.

“Y/N, baby,” he crawls under the covers to press his face into your shoulder, “you’re not convenient to me. I swear, I asked the girl to come to the club for a job. She asked around at my mom’s place and I offered she can take over a few shifts. As a waitress, not for me to… you know…”

“How shall I know?” you hate that his warmth lulls you into safety. And you hate his arms wrap around your waistline even more. “All you do is to bang random chicks at your office. Just like you did with me not an hour ago.”

“You’re not a random chick, Y/N,” oddly Dean clings to you tonight. He burrows his face in your neck, not letting go of you until he feels your breathing even out. “Maybe you are the only girl I ever loved. I was just too afraid to keep you in my life.”

You can’t react to his confession as you are fast asleep. Dean doesn’t care. He needed to get it off his chest. 

“No matter what, you’ll always be mine, sweetheart. Come hell or high water,” he whispers. 

And maybe, just maybe, you’ll give him another chance to prove he’s not the devil, only a lonely man who messed things up years ago.

>> Part 2

Tags in reblog. 

#Smirk of the devil #dean winchester #spnquotebingo #dean winchester x you #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester smut #smut #angst

[hobicomeholla29]

Soulmate- Drabble - PCY

Pairing: Vampire! Chanyeol x Reader

Genre: Soulmate AU! /Fluff /Crack

Word Count: 1k

Warnings: None

Rating: PG13

A/N: Well look who has returned from her semi-hiatus! xD This is a small drabble I had saved in my WIPS and decided to give it a little life. Unedited, please bear with me. This is my attempt to get back into writing, hopefully, it works lol.

Summary: Sleep doesn’t want to come to you tonight, but a phone call with your favorite person might do the trick.

♡¤▪•°°°•▪¤*♡*¤▪•°°°•▪¤*♡*¤▪•°°°•▪¤*♡

You tossed and turned in your bed, not sure why you couldn't bring yourself to sleep. It was way past the appropriate bedtime for someone who wanted to be a responsible adult on the following day.

It didn't help that tonight, it seemed to be one of those cold nights, where no amount of clothes and blanket layering made you feel warm enough.

You considered abandoning the little warmth you had finally achieved after hours, thinking you could maybe get Sehun to entertain you until you felt sleepy since he loved being active so late at night. But you remembered -One- that he lived a mile and a half away and -Two- he would probably send you right back home and to sleep, so you opted to stay put.

Running out of ideas on how to get yourself to finally sleep, you stared into the darkness of your room, ready to accept that you would walk into your office with bloodshot eyes the following day. That was until a buzzing sound coming from your nightstand startled you.

Rolling around in your bed to get in a more comfortable position, you answered your phone without checking who it was. "It's 2 in the morning, why are you still up?" you croaked.

There was no need to check the caller ID, only one person would call you this late at night and that could mean a couple of things, but mainly either his thoughts were running rampant again or he was hungry.

"I can't stop thinking about you, but also I don't require sleep," he answered, voice matching the grogginess in yours due to not speaking for hours.

The way he decided to answer your question had you chuckling involuntarily.

How can he confidently say stuff like this, when it's so difficult for you to even show him proper affection yet.

"Well, you better stop and try to at least get some shut-eye, I'm sure everyone expects you to be at your best tomorrow, no bags under your eyes."

You were pretty sure you heard Junmyeon say something about a show tomorrow and that he needed Chan to be well-rested for it.

"Tell your mini-you to stop running tracks in my head then." he requested, laughing a little. Funny how, even though you could only hear him, you could easily picture his sharp canines peeking out from the corners of his top lip.

Shuffling could be heard on his end of the line and you assumed he was more than likely also laying in his bed.

"Mini-me, get out of my Chan's head now! He needs to rest; tomorrow is a busy day for him, and you aren't helping." You barely noticed your slip of the tongue by calling him yours, yet you didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing.

"That's all I get? Wow and here I was expecting a title or something a little more...endearing. Dang." He mused.

You knew what he wanted to hear, you just liked playing dumb once in a while.

You and Chan had known each other for a while now, however, just recently did your relationship turn into a romantic one, as it wasn't always so.

"Oh~ you mean something like my SUPER BEST FRIEND Chanyeol?" You teased; knowing perfectly well you were more than that.

"We're not JUST friends and you know it. Plus I don't think Sehun would want me to compete for that place in your life." he answered so quickly, you were sure you even heard a slight snarl escape with the sentence. He knew you were teasing him, but you were sure he was pinching the bridge of his nose to not let it get to him.

"I know nothing Park Chanyeol" you smiled to yourself.

There were a couple seconds of silence before he sighed deeply and took another approach.

"So, tell me, baby, what does an undead man have to do, so his ex-prey/ex-friend understands that she is no longer either of those and has escalated to soulmate?"

"If people knew that, they would probably come to the conclusion that I developed Stockholm syndrome."

It was an old inside joke, you both knew that. However, it wasn't too far away from the truth.

Chanyeol was a vampire, and you were once his prey, simple as that. Yet if anyone knew how your relationship with Chanyeol began, they would think you were either masochistic or probably crazy.

"We've had this conversation and we aren't going back to it." He defended jokingly.

"I've said nothing that's untrue, but, back to your original question on how to make me understand that we are now 'soulmates' or whatever that means..."

He scoffed at that, knowing well that you were more than likely making air quotes for the word soulmate, because you really didn't believe in that crap, yet study sessions with Sehun said otherwise.

"Hush! You may prove yourself to be my soulmate by feeding me with a delicious food bouquet."

He laughed a little too loud at that one, leave it to you to make a dent in Chanyeol's bank account by getting him to buy you food.

"First of all, did you just hush me?" he seemed much more awake the longer you bantered, however, the whole thing was lulling you to sleep.

"Yes, so…?”

You heard a deep sigh and slight grumbling coming from him, probably complaining about how you think about food 24/7 but not about him, when he was suddenly back on the phone.

"Anyways, Buffalo or BBQ?"

"Half-and-a-half please and thank you."

"Your wings bouquet will be at your office tomorrow at 12."

"Thank you~" You could feel yourself fully relaxing and losing consciousness, sleep now finally reaching you and you hated to admit that maybe it did have something to do with the soulmate thing.

Both lines remained silent for a couple more minutes, none of you ready to hang up on the other until you finally decided to speak.

"I love you... soulmate" your own heart skipped a beat after the word left your lips, something you won't admit to Chanyeol ever, yet somehow, you felt like he already knew about it.

"I love you more baby. I think I can go to sleep now."

"Mm-hmm, me too." You answered half yawning.

You have no idea who ended the call, but you did recall hearing his deep chuckle before slumber took over you and you just had to accept that his laugh was one of your favorite sounds in the world.

♡¤▪•°°°•▪¤*♡*¤▪•°°°•▪¤*♡*¤▪•°°°•▪¤*♡

I hope you guys enjoyed the little drabble.

#chanyeol x reader #exo x reader #exo x poc #exo x woc #chanyeol x woc #chanyeol x poc #exo fic #chanyeol fic #vampire chanyeol #exo vampire au

[amor-immortalem]

Everything Undesired chapter 10

Chapter 9

After a quick diaper clothes change, Arella was quick to join the brothers at the table, Cyrus tucked comfortably in the crook if her arm. It felt like a normal morning, albeit just a tad quieter. Whether that be due to the events of the night prior or just in consideration of the baby, it wasn’t quite so clear. She took her usual seat next to the place where Mammon usually sat and began to eat. The only one who looked even a little uneasy was Levi likely due to how he felt about having been the one to suggest last night’s movie.

They all spoke casually amongst themselves as they ate, multiple of them having to stop Beelzebub from consuming the food that had been set aside for Mammon as the demon in question joined them shortly after. It had taken him a while to find clean clothes, realizing he really should do his laundry soon. It had probably been a good two or three weeks at least since he’d washed anything. With everything going on, he just didn’t have the energy lately. Thank the celestial realm for his human helping him out with his school clothes.

All their heads turned to him as he joined them at the table, a round of ‘good mornings’ rang out and he returned them. Two asked how he was feeling after last night, the rest carried on with their own side conversation figuring he didn’t need to answer the question four times over.

As breakfast came to a close, Arella took her leave to feed Cyrus once more and Mammon returned to his room to gather up his dirty clothes and begin the process of doing his laundry. Thankfully, it was the weekend which would give him enough time to have all five of his school uniforms ready to go while also not hogging the washer and dryer all day.

“Man, I gotta start doin’ my laundry more often...” The Avatar of Greed sighs. “The amount of clothes in here is ridiculous.” He hefts the basket of clothes into a more comfortable position in his arms and carries them down to the laundry room.

------------------------------------------------------

“Mammon, do you want to go shopping with me?” The Avatar of Lust chirps as he catches up to his brother while he’s working on switching his clothes from the washer to the dryer, “I need a new outfit for date night tomorrow and I’m sure you could use a shopping spree too considering you haven’t really gone out to spend or visited the casino lately. Even last night, when the three of us took the baby out, you didn’t even buy anything. You know what happens if you let your sin build up.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Just gimme a couple hours to get a couple more loads done. I’m kinda runnin’ outta clothes to wear.”

“Alright, three hours good?”

“Three hours is perfect.” The white haired demon says as he loaded another round of clothes into the washer. “Thanks, Asmo.”

The strawberry-blonde demon only nodded as he headed off.

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“Hey, Mams... Can we talk for a minute?” Levi asks as he approaches his brother.

“Yeah, I got a few minutes before I go out with Asmo. What’s up?”

It takes Levi a few minutes to speak. “I’m really sorry about last night. I should have screened before we watched it.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. Ya said you had never seen it before and wanted to watch it with all of us, right? And you were so excited ‘bout it, so it’s fine.” he shrugs.

“But it wasn’t fair to you...” The Avatar of Envy frowns. “We shouldn’t have even watched a horror movie to begin with. I know you hate them but you still watch them with us anyway.”

“’Cuz I know you all like them so I jus’ bare with it for the time being. Y’all are my brothers, so I just want y’all to have fun even if I suffer for a bit. Y’know what you always say about me, I’m a masochist through and through.” He smiles, hoping to make his little brother feel better. “I don’t blame ya, so don’t blame yourself, ‘kay?”

The third-born only nodded, feeling minimally better after finding out the second-born didn’t blame him for what happened.

He ruffled Levi’s hair as he flashed him a smile. “Alright, I gotta go, love ya.”

“Love you too,”

------------------------------------------------------

As the pair of demons walked down the street, Mammon was distracted. He was lost in thought as he thought back to the conversation he had with Arella. He thought about telling Asmo as even though Arella had told him she was comfortable with everything they had done together but he felt like she was telling him a half-truth just to spare his feelings.

“Are you alright, Mammon? You’re not as talkative as usual... Mammon?”

“Huh?” blue to gold gradient eyes look to his brother. “Yeah, I guess I’m alright. Just thinkin’ ‘bout somethin’...”

“Care to share?”

Mammon considers this for a few moments, deciding maybe he should tell his brother about what’s on his mind. “You can’t tell a soul about what I’m going to say, ‘kay?”

“No promises,” The demon says in a sing-song voice, “You have some good gossip?”

“It’s not gossip, Asmo. You absolutely have to promise you won’t tell anybody.”

Asmo’s eyes widened at his brother’s words and the serious tone in his voice. “Alright, what’s on your mind?”

“Arella told me something last night... She told me she was...” He’s not sure he can say it but thankfully Asmodeus seems to get the message.

“That’s horrible. How did it happen?”

“A quote unquote boyfriend drugged her drink when she was sixteen.” The demon has an irritated look on his face. “The bastard was twenty three, like who seeks out a teenager like that?”

“Boyfriend?” The Avatar of Lust has a disgusted look on his face. “Sounds more like a predator to me.”

“Right?! It makes my skin crawl just thinkin’ about it.” He exhales, “She’s such a good person and some monster takes advantage of her and does that?! If I could get a name and a face, I’d absolutely destroy him. The worst part? She blames herself for what happened, for making a mistake.”

“I’m not surprised,” Asmo frowned. “Considering how the human world treats women- she may very well have been told it was all her fault- especially as a minor? I don’t know what her family was like but to end up with that mindset, it’s very possible she didn’t have anybody to for her what we’re doing for you.”

Mammon only frowned at that. “Yeah and now I feel bad for pushing so hard. She said she wanted all that but I feel like she was only sayin’ that just to make me feel better. Is that wrong of me?”

“Mmm, I don’t think so... You love her so it’s only natural that you would worry about having forced her into a situation she didn’t want. But I also don’t think she would lie to you just to make you feel better. Can you remember a time where she’s ever been disingenuous with you?”

“No...”

“Then I think you should take her words at face value. In all actuality, I think she only told you because she wanted you to know you weren’t alone and she knows what you’re going through.” Asmo smiles as he pats Mammon’s shoulder. “And if you’re still worried about it, think of it this way: As long as you had a resounding ‘yes’ at all times from her, then you shouldn’t worry about whether or not you forced her to do it. Or you could do the adult thing and actually talk about your feelings as scary as that may be.”

Mammon only rolled his eyes at Asmo’s comments.

------------------------------------------------------

The pair got home later than intended. As they split up, the Avatar of Greed made his way up to his room. Everything seemed to be fine, there was no baby crying and the house seemed at peace until he got to his room. He tossed his bag into the closet and slid down the railing on his staircase. That’s when he heard it, a small sniffling sound.

“Treasure?” He called softly as he approached the bed, placing a hand on the ball of blankets that his human had buried herself under. “Hey, look at me.”

A soft ‘no’ was heard from under the blanket followed by a ‘I’m alright, don’t worry’ which had the opposite effect on him. So, he just made himself comfortable beside his mate, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her close so her back was pressed to his chest. When she was ready to talk, he would listen and if the baby monitor went off, he would do all the work tonight. It was the least he could do since she practically took care of their son on her own around the clock when he couldn’t even look at the child for the first few weeks.

He rubbed his thumb over her stomach in a motion that was meant to be comforting. While not exactly what he wanted to do, their position didn’t grant him much elsewhere to rub if he wanted to keep his arm wrapped around her, he hoped it would have the same effect. They just lay together in silence for a time as her sniffles slowly came to a stop. She was so quiet, Mammon thought she might’ve fallen asleep until she moved her head from under the covers and slowly turned to him, allowing him to move his hand to her side.

“Wanna talk about it?” The demon asked as she shook her head in response. She cried regularly for others but she wasn’t much for crying when it came to herself and when she did, it was often over nightmares she wouldn’t tell him about. “When you’re ready, I’ll listen. I don’t like to see you so upset and not be able to do anything to help you, Baby.” It was an offer he hoped she would finally take him up on. She only let out a sigh as she moved closer to him and he reached up to wipe a stray tear from her cheek.

“I’m sorry I was so selfish last night...” She catches his hand in hers and just holds it to her cheek. “You’re not mad at me, are you?”

“No...?” The Avatar of Greed wracks his memory from last night, trying to think of anytime she could have been selfish. “When were you selfish?”

“When I told you I had been assaulted...” Her response only leaves Mammon more confused. He hardly considered that to be selfish at all. She was only trying to reassure him everything he was going through was normal.

“How was that selfish?”

“I made the situation all about me when it should have been about you. I’m sorry.”

“No you didn’t? ‘Rella, Baby, you get to talk about your feelings and things that have happened to you too, y’know. Everything’s not always about me. Actually, it was kinda validating to know you understand what I’m going through.”

“No, I don’t. I just want to help but I always bring things back to me some way or another. My problems aren’t important. They’re not a big deal. I’m just attention-seeking and being selfish a-and-- mmph!”

He couldn’t take listening to his human, his treasure, bring herself down like that anymore, choosing to silence her with a kiss instead. When he pulled back, he pressed their foreheads together as he looked into her eyes, glossy from her earlier tears.

“Do you know what an amazin’ person ya are?” he asks as he rolls them so he’s leaning over her, “You get to talk about these things. Your problems matter. You're not bein’ selfish or attention-seeking when you talk about them. Hell, for somebody whose primary sin is greed, you’re probably the most selfless person that I know. You are patient ‘n kind ‘n giving. You do way more than anybody asks of ya. You give so much love and don’t ask for anything in return for it. I don’t know who the fuck put those thoughts in your head but ain’t none of ‘em true, got it?”

“It.... It was my mother....”

———————————————————————-

Next

Find more on my Masterlist

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me! shall we date? #obey me mammon #mammon angst #obey me asmodeus #obey me leviathan #obey me oc #arella #cyrus

[sugar-petals]

Out of all of our subby kpop boys, who do you think is mtl likely consciously and intently giving us sub queues ? Most likely would be very aware of their preference and very likely to be practicing, least would need time to reflect if one were to tell them they give off subby vibes -an under appreciated compliment?

I'm esp curious to see where you'd put taemin, jin and jungkook!

some subby crack awards.

the king of self-awareness has got to be our dude taeyong. “shawty give me whip, whiplash, whip me more so I can feel it more?” such succinct prose, he’s knee-deep in. fuck a stage image, he pens it all into his music at maximum warp. lee soo man can’t stop him. this guy has written the most jawdropping shit aimed at confusing anybody who isn’t in on the femdom grind.

very likely to be practicing: probably someone you’d not expect, a lowkey mf... kang daniel, e’dawn, that kind of person, he dates kinky mistress hyuna after all. but i especially nominate mister seokjin. “nice, i like things like that” — ok mate, speaks volumes. he knows the deal. so, award for knowing his stuff goes to him. probably told jimin all the details, thottius park is THIS close to spilling the tea to us.

the #1 when it comes to sending signals and being out there, taemin of course. he’s done all bdsm practices in the book on live television. without anybody ushering him out, we’re that used to him pulling the masochist card and grinding on the floor. as we know, he tells his art directors what concepts and details he wants, it’s not all the company’s idea. his classic request, i quote: “the ropes were my idea!”

where to put jungkook... probably most knowledgeable after religiously studying every femdom hentai out there. he’s curious, he knows what he needs to know in his own words. you bet your ass the guy has a less than vanilla browser history. bts have admitted to sharing clips back and forth so there’s that.

unsurpassed most open to be nasty and kinky, yuta nakamoto is all about that stuff. oh jesus christ, we all know the guy is a menace. down for things u didnt know existed. but he especially takes the crown for horny disease. the members often talk about how openly nsfw he is. quote by johnny: ‘red youtube’.

the dark horse award goes to none other than baby bear taehyung, if you tell him he’s a sub he’s gonna be confused af but think about it for hours while hugging a pillow at night m’kay. 

similar to taeyong, there’s a reason why clown in charge baekhyun has roused the femdom community since years, one wiggle of his hips at a time. most likely to do puppy play of course.

#anon #ask #cub mail 🐆 #kpop #sub idols #memes

[madcatdaderpydrawer-blog]

Merry Incorrect quotes-mas

Isaac: I CAN'T DO IT! Diana, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER! Isaac: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE Harland: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US. Isaac: Isaac: I appreciate it, Isaac: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH- Felix: Isaac- Isaac: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE! Colton: Isaac we gotta- Isaac: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT. Isaac: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?' Isaac, motioning to Immy: NOT FUCKING THIS

She’s an absolute demon okay

Isaac: Well, aren’t you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you’re out to save the world! Diana: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment. Harland: More or less, I guess... Felix: That sounds awesome! Let’s do that! Colton: I’m new here, but I am open to the concept. Immy: I thought that’s what we were doing, guys, come on!

They have a very different definition of “saving the world”

Isaac: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something? Diana: Nope, absolutely not. Harland: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through. Felix: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life. Colton: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you. Immy: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

Why is it that both the yellow souls are the ones to get these massive insecurity ones?? Like what’s the chance of both Justin AND Isaac getting these exact ones??

Special wanna be evil section :D

Immy: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold? Felix: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house. Harland: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million. Felix: Good thinking.

Lowkey masochistic but smart. 

Immy: What time is it? Felix: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out Felix: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune* Harland: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING Felix: It’s 2 am

Felix you absolute gremlin- that is more of an Immy thing but Harland and Felix are close enough where he would be open to mess with him.

Immy: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'? Felix: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated- Harland: Smad.

Said with a deadpan expression most likely.

Immy: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it. Felix: Immy no. Harland: Mistlefoe. Felix: Please stop encouraging them.

Okay now THIS is in character--

Immy: What did you do with Harland's body? Felix: What didn’t I do with the body? Immy: Felix: Okay, that sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of the corpse respectfully.

Immy probably did the silent eyebrow raise to make him feel embarrassed for his sins.

*The squad is talking about what it'd be like to open up a homemade Pokemon gym* Immy, joking: Felix's just sitting at the end, juggling- fushigi-ing 2 glass balls, in super tight pants, just waiting for their kid delivery once they best their minions. Felix: Well they would be Pokeballs. And also it's not a kid delivery. There's no fucking guarantee that a kid that comes into the beginning of my crucible makes it to the end of it undefeated. Felix: In fact, I'm gonna stack this gym! With fuckin pros! Felix: It's- It's gonna be brutal. It's gonna be a torture gym. Harland: Well- Well what's the theme? Are you like- is it a bug theme, or like- Felix: YEAH, HARLAND. UH- UH- UH- UH YEAH HARLAND. IM GONNA OPEN UP A BUG TYPE POKEMON GYM. YOU IDIOT. Felix: YEAH THAT'S WHAT I WANT, BECAUSE I WANNA GIVE- I WANNA SHIT OUT BADGES FOR EVERY HAM AND EGGER THAT COMES TO MY FRONT DOOR. Immy: *Cracking up* Felix: YEAH, HARLAND. 'Uhh, go Caterpie! >~>' That's me, you FUCKING imbecile. 'Yeah go- uhhh- d-do your best, Kakuna!' Felix: WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING TALKING ABOU- Yeah a ~bug type~ gym. Harland: Immy: Okaaay- Harland: Alright, um, I'm gonna go. I've embarrassed myself... Immy: Maybe fire? Fire type? Harland: Yeah fire-based? Like- have fires?Felix: Yeah, yeah I'll probably just- That's a good idea Immy I'll probably just do a fire type one... SO THAT ONE KID WITH ONE BLASTOISE CAN FUCK UP MY WHOLE SHOP. Felix: KILLED ALL OF US WITH ONE BLASTOISE, HUH? WOW. SHIT I SHOULD'VE- Harland: Just do rock, then! Just do rock type! Felix, voice dripping with contempt: The same Blastoise...

Okay so just because I love this so much I’m making the new headcanon that Felix is normally quiet and timid but gets loud when talking about Pokemon because he’s obsessed with it.

Immy: I know you snuck out last night, Felix. Harland: Play dumb! Felix: Who's Felix? Harland: NOT THAT DUMB!!!

Okay... again, accurate.

Immy: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container. Felix: The cow??? Immy: What? Harland: Felix, W H Y?

I really want to draw this now.

Immy: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste Felix: We got spring water Immy: NO. Harland: with EXTRA minerals Felix: it's like licking a stalagmite Immy: DON'T COME HOME. Harland: Mmmmm cave water

Of course the boys need to tease her sometimes too.

Immy: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth? Felix: You’re a hazard to society Harland: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

Gosh Harland you chaotic nugget-

Immy: While I’m gone, Felix, you’re in charge. Felix: Yes!!! Immy, whispering: Harland, you’re secretly in charge. Harland: Obviously.

Yeah this is basically how the leadership roles go.

Immy, trying to ask Felix out: Would you like to stay for dinner? Harland: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?

I don’t ship it but I do love me Mulan

Immy: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Felix? Felix: … No. Harland: I do! Immy: I know, Harland. Harland: I’m sad! Immy: I know, Harland.

Okay this is just accurate.

#undertale fallen humans #undertale human souls #undertale six souls #undertale au #underfell #underfell fear #underfell injustice #underfell dishonesty #underfell hesitance #underfell cruelty #underfell impatience #incorrect quotes

[lovelyirony]

 cosmetology anon: this is for you, although I tweaked the idea a bit. i hope you don’t mind! 

Acquiring Tony Stark as an Asset had been purely by chance; after all, he wasn’t planned on being in the car. He was still an insolent teenager, angry with the world and angry with his father. They didn’t think he would’ve gone to a business party. 

But his mother...well. They hadn’t thought that Tony Stark was a mama’s boy. 

Because there Tony is, gasping for air while glass glitters all around him, looking near about like an angel that was torn from heaven with how it surrounded him. 

They had thought he was dead.  

At least, up until the point when he had looked Winter Soldier dead in the eye, said “hey you fucking asshole” and got a pretty damn good shot in the thigh. 

Someone on the brink of death might have tried the gun, but never the insult. 

So Hydra gets a brand new toy. 

Not easily broken, which is a pain-and-a-half to deal with. At least with the Winter Soldier, he was too delirious with blood loss to notice who was operating on him, what they were attaching. 

Tony Stark is on a whole other level. 

He bites, he kicks, he scratches. Quite annoying, they just want him to tire himself out. 

“Stark Industries doesn’t negotiate,” he hisses, trying to kick one of the nurses in the teeth. 

“Who said anything about negotiating?” says the head doctor viciously. His teeth glint in the fluorescent lighting, scalpels reflecting brilliantly onto the walls. “As far as the media knows, you’re dead. No one is going to come looking, and no one even knows who we are.” 

They make him sleep on a cot nearby Winter Soldier. Which is terrifying, to say the least. Not that he can kill him. He can’t touch him either. 

He’s in a deep freezer. Eyes closed, thank god. But they put him there and they tell him all about how he came to be there. 

“Everyone thought Barnes hit a rock and died,” one of the techs says, checking the machine. “He nearly did, but Zola helped us fix him up. Course, that was after a couple of times where he got to someone’s neck, and that was even before programming.” 

“Programming?” 

The tech leers at him, grinning. He’s standing, Tony’s sitting. It shouldn’t be as intimidating as it is. 

“Oh yeah, Stark. They’re gonna fix you all up.” 

“I don’t need fixing.” 

“Tell that to Winter Soldier.” 

“And what if your little machine gets rid of me, hm? Kills me?” 

“We add you to the other disappointments, or we dig a shallow grave and hope you’re found decades later.” 

Not exactly promising. 

But here’s the thing: the tech was wrong. They won’t add him to the pile of disappointments. 

The last time he went to a therapy appointment, his therapist said he had a “deep-seated need to be liked and be useful, which could be dangerous later.” 

He’s assuming that Doc Chesterfield wasn’t exactly expecting Tony to be in the running towards becoming America’s Next Top Murder Machine, but Doc wasn’t really the kind of guy who was “in the know” about a lot of things. 

That need to be liked and useful was about to come in handy.  

Barely able to legally drink, he goes to the main doctor in charge. “You need me.” 

The doctor looks at him incredulously. 

“You think we need a kid to do all this shit? You think we haven’t figured it out?” 

“You can’t have Barnes-” 

“Winter Soldier, boy.” 

“Fine, your little toy soldier. You can’t keep him out longer than necessary, otherwise his brain realizes that all of you are shitty and tries to break out. Again. You need someone else to take a look at it, and I’m the best bet you got.” 

“And why would that be?” 

Tony grins, and they see a shadow of what he has had in his life, exactly just who he used to be. Who he still is, at the moment. 

“Whether you want to admit it or not--I’d say go ahead and admit it, I’m fun like that--I’m the smartest one in the room, maybe in the country. Maybe in two countries. I could swing the UK, it’s not like they’ve had anything interesting for the last hundred or so years--” 

“Get to the point,” the handler hisses. 

“I can help with arm maintenance. I’m not gonna do anything else to this poor guy, but I wanna stay alive and I’m not letting you erase my fucking mind because you want to have another toy soldier to march to your drum.” 

“You almost make a compelling case,” the handler says. “We do need a mechanic on the arm, so to speak. But if he only comes out when we need him...well. Maintenance is manageable.” 

Tony pushes his chin out. 

“I can do better than your best.” 

“Unfortunately, I don’t care. You’re too big of a liability.” 

It is at this moment that Tony realizes he cannot talk his way out, or fight his way out, but damn he gets a scalpel and tries. 

Manages to slice across the face of the handler. Nerve damage, tissue damage, quite potentially a very ugly nose. All very nice. 

That gets him moved up by a month. 

They send him to a chair that’s probably a lot worse than he’s imagining, give him a mouth guard, and tell him to scream all he likes. Sometimes it’s better to not have a voice later. 

They say it like they’re quoting one of those shitty articles from Cosmopolitan that discusses the top forty-five best ways to move in the bedroom or something. He and Rhodey use to read it all the time whenever they visited one of the sororities. 

(He misses Rhodey, more than words can say. The tears burn in his throat as the chair powers up, but he doesn’t dare cry. He hasn’t told them about Rhodey, and he doesn’t want him used against him. 

He doesn’t want to be used against Rhodey.) 

- 

Tony Stark becomes the Mechanic. He stares too long, moves a bit slow at times, and doesn’t like people touching his things. 

Hydra thinks it’s a success. 

-

Tony thinks they should’ve done more than three sessions of go-round for their little buzzy-chair. 

-

Just god, have none of them had to act before? Is that what this is? 

So long as he doesn’t show any aspect of any real personality, they think he’s a walking-talking robot. 

Should’ve just called him Chatty Cathy and attached a pull-string to his back with loadable phrases if they were just gonna call him the Mechanic and think his silence and weird staring habits were fine. 

Winter Soldier needs maintenance. 

Tony tries very carefully to keep his persona up. He thinks he’s doing a good job until the nurse leaves the room for her smoke-break and Winter Soldier gives him a look that’s so...different. 

"They think you’re like me.” 

“I am.” 

“No.” 

“And how can you tell?” 

“You’re not hurting my arm.” 

“Well I can, if you wanna be a masochist about it.” 

He blankly stares. 

“Why didn’t it work?” 

“Not enough rounds.” 

“We need to stop talking or they’ll watch the cameras.” 

“Got it.” 

Tony is not facing the cameras. They have no suspicion now, and if they can’t see him move his lips, then there’s no worry. 

He faces Winter Soldier. 

“You wanna get out of here? Tap once on your left, right on my thigh for yes. Twice for no.” 

Tap. 

There it is. 

“Well, it’ll take time. You okay with that?” 

Tap tap. 

“I can’t make wishes come true,” Tony says sarcastically. Soldier hides a smile. “But. I have someone who might be looking for me. Or he’ll know it’s me.” 

“A friend?” 

“Something better. Family.” 

It takes a little while. Despite Hydra’s incompetence at programming Tony out of his own system, they’re good at watching. They’re good at sniffing out undercover plans, so they set nurses to watch him and give him the worst food in his life. 

And he can’t say anything about it. 

They’re probably rations leftover from World War II, and here he is, pretending like it doesn’t bother him. 

The first mission they’re out on, Tony wants so badly to break free. It looks too easy, probably because it is. 

“The first time I escaped, they dragged me back and nearly gave me a matching leg to go with the arm,” Soldier murmurs in Russian. 

(Tony’s had to take Russian classes. God, he’s lucky he has an eidetic memory otherwise he’d be up a paddle with a slotted spoon.) 

“What, didn’t want to put more value on yourself?” 

“Something like that,” Soldier says grimly. “Pay attention. They’re gonna put you in a cafe, have you run surveillance. You report back to me. Call me Winter.” 

“Call me Mechanic.” 

“That’s the name they chose?” 

“Didn’t count my vote.” 

Winter snorts. 

“Time to get a move on.” 

Tony has never been good at hiding his emotions, but by god he’s learning on the fly. At least Winter has a mask, and they’re...well, they’re working on one for him. 

It’s not exactly priority, because everyone in the world thinks he’s dead. 

- 

Well. Shouldn’t say everyone. There is one guy who has decided that Tony didn’t die. 

James Rhodes is a very smart guy, graduated top of his class at MIT and has full honors. 

He also knows that Tony has fallen off of beds, out of chairs, down one flight of stairs, and tripped on just about everything. 

And he’s lived. He has defied near-death experiences before, and he’s been fine. 

Maybe Rhodey is crazy. He most likely is. 

But he doesn’t mind being crazy if no one can actually confirm that Tony died. The funeral was closed for the family, not even Rhodey could go. 

“Sorry kiddo,” Obie had said, not sorry at all. He’s never liked the kid, thought him too blunt about situations that he didn’t need to be blunt about. 

So Rhodey thinks that this is a conspiracy, only he doesn’t want his best friend to end up on a YouTube video five years later talking about the “tragic disappearance” and how “no one could figure it out.” 

He’s James fucking Rhodes. Sometimes goes by Rhodey. And he’s got this. 

- 

Winter Soldier does not “got this.” He is currently being thrown against a wall, and grunting as he looks at the target. 

Tony is currently trying very hard not to have a full-blown emotional show-off, because he is supposed to be fixing up some of the weapons and sending them out. 

It is rather stress-inducing, once you start thinking about it. 

He tries not to. 

God, he’s not even getting pizza after that. He’s probably going to get some bullshit like a vanilla nutritional protein shake. 

Out everything he’s been put through, and that’s the thing that makes him retch.

 - 

Barnes is looking...rough. He got shoved a lot, the mission didn’t exactly go to plan, which turns out to be quite the large problem. 

Because Tony took over. They found out that he can actually assemble weaponry and aim with nearly-one-hundred-percent accuracy. 

They think it’s because they fried his brain and injected some sort of back-alley-serum. 

It’s not. 

He’s not even sure if their serum worked, if he’s being completely honest.

But this? Oh god. 

The doctors look at him with an almost giddy joy. 

“We’ll have Soldier train you.” 

"He is not going back into the cryogenic chambers?” 

“No, not...not until you prove yourself.” 

“I have proven myself accurate with mechanical fixes.” 

“Always best to diversify your skills.” 

“Expand.” 

(Tony’s been messing with them a lot. They’re not positive he knows advanced vocabulary. He does, he just hates them.) 

Barnes is...not exactly excited that he’s not becoming an ice-pop. 

“I’m...training you?” 

“Yeah, looks like it. You wanna teach me how to choke someone with my thighs?” 

“Only when they send the Widows.” 

“Who are they?” 

“Best damned assassins you’ll ever have the displeasure of experiencing.” 

“Aw, you’re learning how to curse!” 

“Shut up, they’re onto us.” 

- 

Winter Soldier and the Mechanic have a...cordial relationship. At least, out of the ring. 

In the ring, they don’t rather like the other that much. Mechanic much prefers to avoid Soldier at all times. 

“You can’t just run from every opponent,” Winter hisses. 

“You’ve been doing it since 1948,” Tony responds in a robotic tone, nearly missing a kick to the shins. “I don’t see why not.” 

He smiles at that one, looking at Tony. 

He was...Tony was unique. He would whisper stories in the dead of night, mostly about a man named Jarvis and a boy his age named “Rhodey.” 

“His parents...they didn’t actually name him that, did they?” 

Tony has to bury his face in his pillow to hide his face from laughing. 

Winter got a good look at that smile. 

It’s chillingly nice to look at it, and maybe that’s because he hasn’t smiled in years, or maybe it’s because he’s never seen another person smile with joy in it for decades. 

- 

For a couple more months, nothing on their side happens. 

Rhodey, however, learns how to use Tony’s homemade AI for illegal purposes! 

He’s figured out lots of things. 

Tony was never confirmed dead. Technically, he’s a missing person. 

Which means they don’t know if he’s dead because they never found him. 

Secondly, there’s a strange email to someone who goes by Zola. 

Well, Rhodey and Tony didn’t stay up until three a.m. to solve impossible codes for nothing. 

James Rhodes figures out that the Winter Soldier isn’t some whispered about myth, and so he decides to try and find him. 

He’ll need to ask Mama if he can use the sedan, but it should be fine. After all, he has a friend to find. 

- 

Hydra is getting too used to having them out. Tony’s been coaching Barnes on not letting his reactions be at the front and center. 

He’s remembering a lot more. Starting to become a bit more human-like. 

He actually doesn’t like the food now, which is a tasteful improvement. 

“When we get out,” Tony whispers in night. “I’m going to make sure that you get the best goddamned pizza the earth has ever seen. And we’ll celebrate your birthday.” 

“When is my birthday?” 

“I...huh. I don’t know. That’s not the fact I remember from school.” 

“So you remembered that my favorite movie star was Hedy Lamarr, but not my own birthday?” 

“In my defense, Ms. Lamarr is far more memorable than a simple date on the calendar.” 

Barnes smiles. 

“I can’t wait to see a picture of her.” 

“You will, soon.” 

- 

Rhodey is getting close. 

The only barrier is convincing his mama to use the sedan. 

“What for?” 

“A trip.” 

“To?” 

“Washington DC?” 

“Why are you questioning that, young man?” 

“Um, because of gas money? Maybe?” 

Mrs. Rhodes stands up to her full height of five-foot-two and stares. 

“What’s the real reason? I didn’t raise a son who could lie to his mother successfully.” 

Rhodey sighs. 

“Tony’s alive. I think. I’m, like, ninety-five-percent sure.” 

Her face softens. 

“Oh baby, you’ve talked about this with your therapist, and-” 

Rhodey glares. 

“It’s not about the therapist’s opinion, mom. I broke into some records. There was a closed-casket funeral, and technically? They didn’t have a body for Tones. I know he’s out there, and I think I got a lead with the help of Jarvis.” 

“I thought Jarvis was dead.” 

“Not Edwin, Mama. Tony’s creation, an AI named Jarvis.” 

Mama looks at him carefully. 

“You sure this is what is going to make you happy?” 

“I don’t care about being happy, I want to see if I can bring him home, Mama.” 

She dangles the keys. 

“If you scratch this car up, I will not hesitate to tell every single aunt at church about this and have common sense walloped into you.” 

“I promise I won’t,” Rhodey says. “I know what I’m doing.” 

“I’ll pack you a bag. And you need your church clothes.” 

“Ma...” 

“Don’t Ma me, I’m your mother, I know what’s best,” Mrs. Rhodes says, sweeping into the kitchen. “Don’t tell your daddy what you told me, you’ll give him a heart attack.” 

“I thought I was gonna give you a heart attack,” Rhodey says. 

She turns, eyes twinkling. 

“You got a lot of learning to do, young man. But go on to DC for me.” 

First stop: gas station. 

Next stop: saving Tony. 

- 

If Tony had known that his friend was so dedicated to saving him that he would drive his mama’s sedan five miles above the speed limit, perhaps he would have stayed put and played nice. 

But Tony did not know this, so he was currently working on fixing Barnes’ arm to shoot projectile missiles that looked like screws to the security cameras. 

“You think they’re counting each screw when none of them even know what your arm can actually do? Not like Zola is physically around anymore,” Tony mutters, holding a screwdriver in his mouth. 

“What’s your plan for escape?” 

“Element of surprise, my dear Watson.” 

“Don’t like that,” Barnes mutters. “What’s your plan once we’re out?” 

“New York City.” 

“That’s it?” 

“You underestimate exactly how much you can hide,” Tony says. “Believe me. We’ll live in an apartment in Queens.” 

- 

Rhodey is about ten minutes away. 

Tony and Bucky have eventually decided to break out, and are having a lovely time shooting a base and putting people through the walls. Really, they shouldn’t have made it out of drywall. Too easy. 

“What fucking vehicle are we taking?!” Barnes yells. 

“I...I will work on it!” 

“You didn’t think about that?!” 

“I was thinking about escaping from a shitty Hydra base!” 

- 

Here comes the sedan! 

- 

Rhodey thought there was only one person, so now the ex-assassin is sitting on his little sister’s school folder, and getting pink glittery on his military pants. 

This was not the plan. 

He is also still only going five over the speed limit, because this is Mama’s sedan. 

He forgot about the little sticker at the back that says “My Son is on the Honor Roll at MIT!” 

“Rhodey love of my life, please go faster than forty miles an hour,” Tony hisses. 

“I can’t believe you’re alive, let me do one thing at a time,” Rhodey stresses. “I bought you hot fries, they’re on the floor in the green bag.” 

“You thought of road trip snacks?” Bucky asks. 

“Yes! And who are you?” 

“Bucky Barnes.” 

Rhodey whips his head around. 

“You lived?” 

“I’ve been told. Eyes on the road and turn left.” 

One tire barely is on the road as he whips the wheel, slamming onto the curb. 

“We are not allowed to fuck my mama’s car up!” Rhodey yells. “Tony, Bucky...do whatever you have to.” 

“How amenable are you to me paying for a new back window?” Bucky asks, left arm already raising. 

“What do you mean-?” 

And...there goes a projectile! 

- 

After twenty minutes of driving around, ten of that being avoiding police blockades, they finally are out on the highway, no one in sight. 

Tony finally breathes. 

“Put on your seatbelt,” Rhodey murmurs. “To New York?” 

“To New York.” 

- 

By all accounts, the table of three men who look slightly rattled and in danger is not actually the worst table that waitress has ever had. 

In fact, the only odd thing that she’s going to say about it is that the young man on the left is wearing a polo shirt, and it is not Sunday, so no church services. A personal outfit choice. 

The man in the middle seems to know this. 

“Rhodey, seriously?” 

“What? It’s laundry day!” 

“I know you had other shirts. I know you did.” 

“Just because you hate polo shirts doesn’t mean you get to hate on me, especially after the shit I just pulled.” 

“He has a point,” says the man on the right. 

“You have no opinion on this. I just met you.” 

“Are you guys ready to order?” She asks nervously, tapping at her notepad with a chewed-up pen. 

They all stare blankly at the menu, and then back at her. She taps her pen one more time. 

“I’ll...um...give you some more time.” She shakes her head. She’s not gonna ask, she doesn’t get paid enough. 

-

Rhodey looks at the two of them. He knows that things...well. 

Tony probably isn’t going to be playing Jeopardy! with this experience. 

Hell, he probably won’t want to see a therapist about this, and Rhodey will have to play Jeopardy! or some obscure dating show simulation with Tony to even help. 

And then there’s the matter of a man who’s supposed to be dead. 

That and...Rhodey decided to finish up college with a master’s degree. 

No one ever said life was easy. 

But. 

It might be fun. 

#also sorry i included the chatty cathy line it's because of commercials that i watch #yeah my dad has these CD's of old commercials and it includes the sixties ads for mattel dolls #very cool also very annoying #let me know what you guys think! #rhodeytonybucky #anyways i think it's fun #rhodey had to borrow his mama's sedan AND get gas for it on the way back btw #bucky barnes #tony stark #james rhodey rhodes #james rhodes #war machine #iron man #winter soldier #hydra #blood tw #injury tw #yeah rhodey's stressed and also right all the time #tony is. well. he's himself. #i'll put this on ao3 later

[nightwingmyboi]

I'll always remember Devin Grayson as the woman who wrote Nightwing getting raped by a supervillain and then tried to pass it off as "wasn't rape, just nonconsensual"...which is LITERALLY THE DEFINITION OF RAPE, YOU HACK!

MSL: Male rape is a topic rarely touched on in comics. Why is it suited to bring it into Nightwing?

DEVIN GRAYSON: For the record, I’ve never used the word “rape,” I just said it was nonconsensual (I know, aren’t writers frustrating? *smiles*) [x] 

Yeah there is no other word for what happened in Nightwing #93 other than rape...I can’t imagine why she would say otherwise. She did technically apologize, but that was ten or so years later. So she eventually, finally did come out and just admit what everyone already knew, but she was still way too late to actually fix any of the damage she caused with how she completely mishandled things. I also don’t think her little apology begins to cover all the issues I have with her. 

Devin’s characterization of Dick is just so, so freaking twisted to me. Really, I don’t think there is a Nightwing writer I despise more than Devin Grayson. The interviews I’ve read from her give me the creeps:

DG: The way I think about him [Dick], he likes everyone, he’s sort of a contact junkie - just this incredibly physical (and attractive) person who lives wholly in the corporeal plane and responds with - processes things in - his body before his head or heart. I imagine that he can be hypnotized by a touch the way other people can be stopped dead in their tracks by the sight of money or the promise of true love. I think he likes kicking and kissing in almost equal measure - except kissing edges out ahead because you can do it for longer and it leads to nicer things. [x]

Yeah that’s fucking unsettling. This is Devin being gross and projecting her sexual fantasy’s onto Dick. And she very much invented this extreme view of Dick as obsessively physical. Pre-52 Dick was always written as a master strategist, an unparalleled leader, one of the best detectives in the world, outside of Devin’s writing. Her fantasy version of Dick doesn’t mesh with that...Dick wouldn’t be capable leader if he’s “thinking with his body” (whatever that means) all the time. He’s survived this long because he’s intelligent and logical. Frankly, Devin’s take on things doesn’t even make any freaking sense. But it gets worse: 

DDG: I’m writing a novel for WB right now that he’s in and I have one scene where Batman has to stop a fight before it gets out of control, and most of the people he can just yell or glare at, but with Dick, he just stands really close behind him and Dick freezes. That’s not supposed to be a sexual thing (though it is kinda hot! ::laughs::), it’s an understanding on Bruce’s part that his physical proximity will speak just as quickly and loudly to Dick as his voice, maybe even be processed faster.

What the actual fuck. You’ve probably guessed it based on how that little scenario played out. Devin ships Dick with Bruce. 

DG: And now think about being a very physical and naturally gregarious and loving person and growing up with someone like Bruce. Then add in the confusion about his status - a “ward” is something you stop being the minute you turn eighteen. Having already lost his parents and then hurling into adolescence at the speed he did...in my personal version of the story, he develops sexual desire and social anxiety about the future at the same time, and this leads to tremendous confusion, on his part, about his role in Bruce’s life. He can’t be a ward forever, in the back of his head he knows he won’t be Robin forever...what is he to this man who is at once his best friend and personal savior, personal god? “Son” is what they eventually settle on, but I think when Dick was in his late teens, the idea of “lover” must have run through his mind (which means, really, as we’ve already discussed, it ran through his body).

Wild that Dick is usually written as incredibly intelligent and emotionally cognizant (was able to puzzle out Damian’s complex motivations and needs when no one else in Damian’s life could for example) and yet Devin thinks he’s not able to sort out that he’s not supposed to make sexual advances towards his father. And by wild I mean stupid as fuck. And, just fyi, Devin goes with the version of events where Bruce took Dick in when he was eight years old! So he’s pretty fucking young when this is all happening! Just when you thought it couldn’t get more disgusting. 

Eventually, much later, Dick gets distracted by other relationships and is able to ease up enough on Bruce for Bruce to relax into his own comfort-level of kindness and affection again (once the threat of sexuality has been removed) and they carry on more or less unharmed. But the relationship remains incredibly powerful and intense for Dick, who ends up feeling apologetic, rejected, and confused on top of all the other issues we already know exist between the two of them. Dick responds to Bruce - or really I should say Batman, since that’s who his relationship is with - on every single level.

So, according to Devin, Dick views Bruce as his “personal god” and is incredibly submissive to and possessive of him. That’s why Devin’s writing is littered with scenes like this: 

Gotham Knights #17

Where Dick acts incredibly awkward and “apologetic” about dating Barbara, because of how he previously made sexual advances towards Bruce in Devin’s fantasy world. Also with Devin, Dick spends a lot of his time stuttering every time Bruce is in the room, even though he’s usually a smooth talker, very chatty, and that’s because of the supposed “intensity” of Bruce and Dick’s relationship. And then there are scenes like this: 

Gotham Knights #18

Where Dick uncharacteristically and disproportionately loses his cool at the slightest insinuation against Bruce and is reduced to an angry hot head. Dick has been noted to be incredibly level headed; he’s also famous for being a mediator among the hero community...this behavior is a complete departure from the way he would normally act under other writers. Dick’s also been one to level plenty of criticisms towards Bruce himself. This sudden personality change where Dick thinks Bruce can do no wrong, where no one can criticize Bruce in Dick’s presence without him absolutely blowing up, where he suddenly can’t control his emotions over the littlest things...it really exists primarily in Devin’s writing. It’s incredibly OOC behavior and it’s rooted in Devin’s sexual fantasies frankly. 

Devin’s writing is also where Dick, despite being incredibly dedicated and monogamous in all of his previous relationships, suddenly became a womanizer. Literally, everyone was written as wanting to get into Dick’s pants: Rose Wilson was reduced to a giddy teenager because of Dick, random women in the streets would comment on how cute Nightwing was, a mob boss’s daughter who was only 15 years old was obsessed with Dick and made advances, Dick had a one night stand with Huntress because she reminded him of Bruce, Bruce called Dick “Hunk Wonder,” Dick undressed in front of fucking Deathstroke (and there was a newspaper with “Richard Wilson” on it as a sly little wink towards the audience), psycho vigilante Tarantula is obsessed with Dick to the point of raping him, the list goes on. If you want more samplings of how freaking disgusting and sex-obsessed Devin was when it came to Dick, look no further than her gross Inheritance book, where she ships Dick with everyone from Green Arrow to Aquaman (here are some quotes if you’re a masochist). And since Dick “thinks with his body” or whatever, Devin’d write him as receptive (or very oblivious) when it comes to this attention. 

Gotham Knights #10

Nightwing (1996) #107

Another thing that made me extremely uncomfortable is how Devin would always have strangers and villains, especially older men--people who Dick very much did not know and wouldn’t appreciate being in his personal space--be all grabby with him. Please leave him alone. 

Nightwing and Huntress #2

There Dick is, “hypnotized” in place by Huntress’s touch. Kill me. It is also especially messed up that Devin suddenly turned Dick into some sexual, warm-blooded hot head at the same time as she decided to introduce him as Romani. 

Q: How could him being Romani be used to inform his characterization?

It reinforces his “otherness” where Bruce is concerned in what I think is a useful, interesting way...It also presents the opportunity for there to be a slight chip on his shoulder, which maybe speaks to his scrappiness. It also maybe gives him a slightly deeper way to relate to someone like Helena--someone who is white but other--and gives the people who love (or lust after) him a potential cultural excuse for feeling as bewitched as they sometimes do. I also just love the idea of Bruce occasionally calling him “hot blooded” just to mess with him, because Dick would of course deny being so in an extremely hot-blooded manner. [x]

Her feeding into the fetishizing of biracial individuals is just disgusting and wrong. If there’s a racist stereotype available Devin really goes out of her way to make sure she includes it in her writing huh. 

Gotham Knights #20

And Bruce being a racist jerk is not charming Devin, it’s terrible. Barbara used slurs also, and was very dismissive of Dick’s reaction to Bruce’s actions...that was also horrible. It’s awful that Dick’s own family would apparently treat him this way. Obviously, Dick isn’t the only one that Devin would write out of character. 

It’s all just so messed up to me, I can’t stand it. When I first read her comics, even when it wasn’t blatant like above, I would feel something subtly off...and once I read her interviews I can’t help but notice these horrible underlying insinuations in all of her work, in so many seemingly “innocent” scenes. There are a lot of big things she’s known for (her horrible treatment of Dick’s Romani heritage and his rape for example) but all these subtle, insidious little details that people don’t even really register...they are equally frustrating to me. Seeing sects of the fandom pick up these details (like, the idea that Dick doesn’t understand personal boundaries, the idea that he’s a hot head, the idea that he’s a womanizer, etc.) when I know a lot of it stems nearly solely from Devin’s crappy characterization and writing of Dick...it’s hard. 

Q: Further to that, if Dick is gay, what kind of guy is his type?

DG: ...Type isn’t as important as passion and opportunity. Because of his psycho-sexual makeup, the other key factor would be a sense that he means something to that other man, that his “surrender” is making that man happy, allowing him to bring pleasure to someone (as he was never allowed to do for Bruce). There’s also a sense, if I may be so bold, of needing to be “caught” and “held down” - this going back to the trauma of losing his parents...being strong and passionate and heroic and virile and loving with a woman is fantastic, he lives for that. But he lost both parents. There is also a part of him that longs to be pinned down and loved a little bit savagely and hurt just enough to reassure him that he’s alive. Man, I’m totally gonna get fired when this comes out....

Literally makes me want to barf. That is supposed to be a professional, official writer at DC. Could go on forever. 

#devin grayson #imma go vomit now #ask #nightwing #dick grayson #batman #rape #rape cw #comics #DC comics #character analysis #characterization #negative

[misssquishy]

“obey your master” A dominant Lucifer x submissive GN reader. an 18+ Obey me fanfic

Listen. when I wrote this story I literally stopped at the first sentence because I got writer's block, so I made the Beelzebub instead. but I wanted to write about all the brothers, so I took old fanfic stories, erased everything and just added the boys

Also my English is still trash, I don't know what I'm doing and I'm still at the beginning of the game

"I AM NOT A MASOCHIST!" Mammon yelled, trying to justify his point "Still in denial" Satan said. Mammon slammed his hand on the table and pointed at you "THE ONLY MASOCHIST HERE IS THE HUMAN!" "W-what? I'm not a masochist" you sputtered "Do not push your disgusting fetish on the human" Satan said flipping the page of a book "For the last time I am NOT a masochist" Mammon replied "And yes, human. You are a masochist" attracted by the yelling, Beelzebub walked into the room very confused "what with all the yelling?" "Mammon won't admit that he's a masochist. And now he's trying to convince us that the human is one" Satan replied as he turn to the next page in his book "I am not a masochist" Mammon sputtered "And I have proof that the human IS a masochist" Mammon then pulled out a book, your face went white as you saw your journal in Mammon's hand "Why do you have my journal?" "I found it on the floor-" "That was under my pillow, in my room" you said with panic in your voice, cutting him off. Mammon tried to backpedal "No. I- I told you I found it. You must have dropped it" You felt anxious, Mammon noticed the panic look on your face and smiled "What's with that look? Got something to hide?" He said while waving your journal in front of your face "You're taking this too far, Mammon. just give back the book" Satan said "What? you want to prove that the human is a masochist right, Satan? Well It's all right here" you started to beg for your book back and begged him not to read it. You tried to reach for the book but before you could Mammon dash out of the room "IF YOU WANT IT, YOU HAVE TO COME AND GET IT!" He said. You let out a sigh and chased after him. You chased him down the hallway and up the stairs. Trying to catch your breath you asked him to slow down, he looked back at you and flipped you off. Mammon tripped on the carpet, causing your book to go through a window "Shit, my bad" he said, lying on the floor. You both ran outside, passing Lucifer on the way out. Looking around you can't seem to find your books, it vanished. You started the panic even more, you searched the surrounding area frantically "He- hey. Calm down" Mammon said "it can't have gotten that far'' you let out a frustrating sigh and kicked the ground "Why are you getting so upset? it’s just a book, it's not like it's the end of the world" you stared at him and slowly  realized what his words truly mean "You didn't read my journal did you, Mammon?" He looked at you, his face was a look of regret "I... didn't, and before you say anything I wasn't about to sell it either" he said "I just wanted to see your reaction that's why I took it. I wasn't expecting you to freak out like that" you looked up at the night sky, feeling desperate you turned your attention back to Mammon “Find it" "W-what? Why do I have to do it?" He asked. You slowly approached him, you reached out and touched his face "Please find it, you're the one that took it out of my room so please?…" You smiled at him, you felt his face heat heat up as he started to blush "FINE! fine I'll do it, just go back inside" you gave him a kiss on his cheek and thank him. You went back inside and headed to your room. 30 minutes past when Mammon knocked and opened your door "Yeeaaah I can't find it" he said rubbing the back of his head. You sighed sadly as you look at Mammon, your expressions made him apologize "I'm sorry I wi- I will get you a new one" you gave him a smile "that's okay, Mammon. You don't have to" you told him "I know it's wro-" "Mammon. I just want to go to sleep now" you said cutting him off, not trying to show that you were angry at him. You two exchange good nights and you close the door "If someone else fines that book I'm screwed" you thought to yourself. You sulk in your room, looking at your phone you tried to get your mind off of the book but you remembered how Lucifer went inside as you went out. You set up, feeling chills down your spine "Shit" you slouch to his study, not knowing the danger awaits you.

You knocked on the door as you felt your heart about to fall out of your ass. He told you to come in, you opened the door to see Lucifer sitting at his desk reading your journal "Do you need something?" He said, not taking his eyes off your journal. You stared at your feet as the anxiety creeped in "umm… Lucifer?" He finally noticed you, the look on your face must have made him worried "Are you alright? You look like you saw a ghost" you tried to speak but you were so nervous that your word came out a jumbled mess, he got closer to you and patted you on the head "you look tense, would you like a glass of wine?" He said, guiding you to a chair.

 You watched him as he poured a glass of wine and handed it to you, you chug it faster than Usain bolts running a marathon. He offered you another glass of wine, you took it in a heartbeat. The glass of sweet liquid courage helped you loosen up "Why are you here?" he asked as he poured a glass of wine for himself "That book... it's mine" he looked at the book that was still on his desk and smiled "Oh, I knew this had to belong to you" he picked up the book and gave it a glance over "I found it outside, you might want to keep up with your stuff next time" he set down in the chair next to you and crossed his legs as he sipped from his own glass of wine, glaring at your journal "Did you read it?" You asked in a shaky voice "I didn't know who this belongs to. So yes, I did" you stared at him, his calm demeaner worried you, but that worry feeling went away as he spoke "You're so kind" you look at him confused as he continues speaking "The way you describe all of us was generous of you. I'm happy to see you enjoying you’re stay here"

 you start smiling, the way that he praised you made you feel happy "I really enjoy my stay here, and I'm happy that I met all of you" you said with a smile. You started to drink your second glass of wine, feeling happy "you were really generous the way you described Mammon, it's actually quite funny" he laughed. Your smile quickly faded as you realized, the only way to get to Mammon page is by reading Lucifer's page first. You started getting worried again "Lucifer….. ho- how much did you read?" You said as you start to panic again "Well, I stopped at the part where you wrote about Solomon. Is there a problem?" The look that he gave you when he said those words proved that he knew what you were worried about. You started sputtering, you can hear the panic in your voice as you spoke "It's not what you think, Lucifer. I- l didn't mean to write that-" "You really want me to believe that" he chuckled. He opened the book and flipped through a couple of pages "So, you don't want me to, and I quote 'use your body as I see fit' or you don't want me to 'cum deep inside of you' So you didn't mean to write that?" You were speechless, he read it so nonchalantly without batting an eye.

He flipped to another page as he sips his wine, a small slowly crept across his face "You have a very creative imagination, human" he closed the book and set it down on the table. You stared at him, shocked as he poured himself another glass "Wait, you're not upset with me?" You said "No, should I be? I will admit, I wasn't expecting it but I'm not upset with you" He replied. He got closer to you and started touching your leg "And in fact, I find it very exciting" you start to get aroused as you stared into his eyes, his black and red eyes glistened in the fireplace light  "Do you want me to do those things to you?" he said as he rubbed your inner thigh "What?" You replied, very confused. He let out a sigh as he set down his glass "I have to be specific then" he bent down to hover over you, and whispered in your ear "I'm asking you do you want me to use your body? Do you want me to make your desires come true?" his voice was cold and his face calm. You turn your head away from him "I don't know" you said as your heart pounded in your chest with excitement "I won't force you" he said "But if you agree, all you have to do is name one thing out of that book and I'll do it to you" he turned your head to make you look at him, you felt like you were hypnotized as you met his gaze "Or maybe you want everything done to you. All the nasty, dirty, degrading things" he said as he rubbed your cheek "You want me don't you, human?" he rubbed his thumb over your lips, out of instinct you licked it, a small grin crept across his face. He tilted your chin up and leaned in for a kiss, you closed your eyes waiting for his lips to connect to yours, but you felt nothing. You opened your eyes to see him smiling "You tricked me" you said with a red face "I'm sorry, I had to" you let out a hefty huff and rolled your eyes. You started to get frustrated. Standing up, you grabbed Lucifer by his tie and kissed him, you caught him off guard as you slid a hand in his jacket. He pushed you away and the look on his face made you apologize, you thought you did something wrong. But his face was a combination of surprise, quickly turned into excitement. He pulled you into a kiss, you started to melt as his tongue slide in your mouth, flushing it around yours. He rubbed his hands down your waist and back, you melted from his touches.

He stopped and pulled away, you tried to go for another kiss but he stopped you "What's wrong?" You said, out of breath. You tried to rub your hand under his jacket again but he grabbed your hand "Stop" he demanded. He sat down on the table and crossed his legs "Now, take off your clothes"  his voice is cold and sharp as he gave you more orders "Go on, do it" you let out a sigh as you did what you were told. When you were naked, you walk towards Lucifer but he puts up a hand, making you stop "No, set down" you were reluctant at first, but the face he gave you made you realize you have no choice. You rub your hand over the arm of the chair as you sit back down "Now, touch yourself" your eyes went wide "Wa...what?" You stammered. You stared at him hoping he was joking "What? Did I stutter?" you realized he was serious. You sit back feeling the cold leather against your skin. You put two fingers up to your lips and put them in your mouth, you sucked on your fingers, pulling them in and out your mouth. Covering them in saliva. You started rubbing your chest and slowly slide a hand down to your stomach, you took your fingers out of your mouth and you put both legs on each arm of the chair. You looked at Lucifer, making sure he gets a full view of the show. You put your fingers between your legs, you let out a breathy moan as your fingers enter yourself. Sipping his wine, Lucifer watched the performance you were putting on for him, enjoying the sounds escaping from your mouth. The only sound in the room was your moans and the fireplace, you moaned his name as you fingered yourself. You pulled your fingers out of you and put them up to your mouth, making a v-shape with your fingers. But before you could lick between them Lucifer stopped you "Alright, that's enough" he said while standing up. He walked towards you, wine glasses in hand. He set down next to you with a slight grin on his face, you tried to lean in for a kiss but he put a finger up to your lips, stopping you. Lucifer then grabbed you by the back of your head and got close to your face "Did I give you permission to kiss me?" He said as he pulled on your hair "Get me off first" he let go of your hair and grabbed you by the arm, forcing you to your knees. You crawled between his legs, you looked up at Lucifer and started unbuttoning his pants, you stroke his cock with your hand. You rubbed on the tip with your thumb but it wasn't enough for him "Use your mouth" he hissed. You do so, sucking on the tip first then taking him fully in your mouth, a slight "yes" escape from Lucifer’s lips as you bobbed your head on his cock. He drunk is wine and then set it aside, he ran his fingers through your hair and gave it a tug "Don't stop" he moaned. Feeling your warm mouth around his cock wasn't enough for him though, he started to push your head down ,making you gag "That's it MHAA! that's my good pet" he started thrusting his hips, you felt his cock hit the back of your throat "That feels so good, I'm gonna cum" he grabbed a fistful of your hair and pushed your head all the way down on his cock, holding it there as his cum filled your mouth.

You cough as Lucifer cum slide down your throat. You looked up at him, his face full of ecstasy as he looks down at you "That was… something" he said, out of breath. You stared at him, the look on your face made him smile "Okay, I guess the pet deserves there reward" he tilted your chin and leaned in for a kiss. you closed your eyes, waiting to feel his lips against yours. Lucifer started laughing, you opened your eyes and realized you fell for his trick twice "Got you again, you're so easy to fool" he said as he stood up, eyeing you as he walked towards his desk. He let out a huff as he took off his clothes "Are you going to keep sitting there, or are you going to come to me?" He said while undoing his tie. You were about to stand up but he stopped you "No, on your knees. Crawl to me" you hesitated as you stared at the devilish grin that was on his face "What's with that look? I gave you an order, didn't I?" You reluctantly agreed, getting on your hands and knees and slowly crawling to Lucifer. You stopped at his feet, he ran his fingers through your hair and gave you a pat on the head "Now that is how a pet should act" he said "Is it so hard to obey your master?" His words made you angry for some reason, you smacked his hand away and stood up "I am not a pet!" You said. You shocked him, he wasn't expecting you to do that, but you're a little protest made him chuckle "Are you done?" He took the step forward, making you take a step back. The tone in his voice changed as he walked behind you "you know you're enjoying the attention" you felt his hand slide down your waist, you let out a slight gasp as he kissed the back of your neck. You felt his hot breath as he whispered in your ear "Don't act like you don't enjoy it, being humiliated" "I don't…. I don't like this at all" you replied. He walked in front of you, you flinched as he slides a hand from your shoulder to your neck "you can leave if you want, i won't stop you" he said "Or you can get back on your knees, and let me do anything I want to that tempting body of yours" you thought about it, you thought about grabbing your clothes and leaving. But you know, if you do that you won't have another chance. You got back down on your knees and looked up at him "Such a cute pet" he said with a smile. He crouched down in front of you and pulled you into a kiss, you finally got your reward. You were caught off guard by Lucifer tying his tie around your wrist, you looked at your wrist then at him "w-why?..." He grabbed you by the arm and jerked you up, he spun around to face the chairs "You need to learn how to be obedient" he said "Now stay here and don't move" you did what you were told, standing still as Lucifer rummaged through his desk. You felt his presence behind you before something covered your eyes "Lu- Lucifer?!" "Calm down, it's just a blindfold" he said. He lifted up the blindfold so you can see the leather stick in his hand "Do you know what this is?" He said "a riding crop?" You replied. He nodded at your correct answer, he touched your stomach with the tongue of the riding crop and slowly traced your skin "I'm going to discipline you with this'' he said "until you learn how to obey your master" he pull the blindfold back over your eyes, only a sliver of light from the bottom of the blindfold was seeping through "you might hate me after this" "I could never hate you" you replied. You couldn't see his face, but you know he was smiling. You then feel the full force of the riding crop against your thigh, you tried to scream from the pain but Lucifer covered up your mouth with his hand "Don't you dare scream" he hit you again, the force of a second whip made you fell to the floor "I'm going to hit you again, get on your hands and knees'' you did what you were told, kneeling on your knees. He put his foot into your back and pushed you down, pinning you down to the floor "I said to get on your hands and knees'' he said, before hitting you again. You lean against your tied up arms, Lucifer removed his foot from your back and gave you another strike. You bit down on your tongue as you fight the urge to cry out in pain "look at you. obeying your Master's orders, almost like a dog" "I'm n- not a dog-'' your sentence was immediately interrupted by another strike to your thigh. You couldn't hold back your voice anymore, a scream of pain and ecstasy escaped from your mouth  "I thought I told you not to scream'' he said before giving you another strike "You're my pet, my bitch even. And little bitches need to learn their place" he flipped you on your back, you were surprised to feel his body against yours. You heard his moans as his hands rubbed over your chest "Wait, Lucifer" "What? I thought you wanted me" he replied "I do, it's jus-" you were cut off by something entering your body. You moaned as the thing inside you begins to vibrate "Lu- Lucifer! pl -ease please" you moaned. A wave of pleasure came over your body as the vibrator begin to pick up speed "You're squirming, does it feel good?" He said before pressing a button, turn the vibrator on full blast. He started kissing your neck, his hands rubbed up and down your body as your moans echoes through the room "Lucif- please" you tried to find your voice as your eyes water. You were at your limit as your body begins to shake, you tried to find your voice again but only a quiet "stop" escaped your lips. Your words formed on death ears as Lucifer only focusing on the way you're squirming. You let out a final moan as the feeling of  pleasure traveled throughout your body, your legs was shaking as you tried to find your voice again "Lucifer...stop" Lucifer heard your cries, you felt your wrist loosen as Lucifer removed his tie and took off your blindfold. He held you close to him, his voice sounded sincere as he wiped the tears from your cheek "I'm sorry, did I take it to far?" You shook your head in response as you lay in his arms, trying to catch your breath "I don't want this" you looked up at him and tried to gave him a weak smile "let me get your clothes" he tried to get up but you grabbed his arm "no" you said "don't leave" he looked at you confused "But you told me to stop" "I know what I said" you replied "I mean stop with the vibrator. I don't want a piece of plastic I want you, Lucifer" your words made him smile, he gave you a gentle kiss as he holds you in embrace "Okay, let’s go to my room then" he put you down and stood up, he took off his belt and put it around your neck like a leash "Wait, I thought we're going to your room?" You sputtered. Lucifer tugged on the belt making it tighter around your neck, causing you to choke "Oh, we are. We're just going for a walk" he said as he tugged on your new "leash". You gripped onto his pants leg and looked up at him, with a voice full of panic "what?! what's if someone sees?! What if one of the boys sees me like this?!" "And? What if they see you like this, what are they going to do?" He crouched down in front of you, his breath was warm as he whispered in your ear "And besides, you probably are the type of person who liked to be watched" he gave the least another tug, causing you to wince. You tighten your grip on Lucifer's pants, you really didn't want to go out there "What, being disobedient again?" He said before giving the leash another tug. You let go of his pants and set by his feet, your obedience made Lucifer happy "See? Now that's an obedient little bitch" he gave you a smile, before you two headed for his room. Crawling on your hands and knees you felt terrified, you prayed that no one saw you like this. You heard your name being called followed by the words "What the hell?!" Your heart stopped as you heard a familiar voice, you saw Solomon heading to Leviathan's room, Lucifer gave Solomon a disgusted look "why are you here?" Lucifer asked. Solomon  not paying attention to Lucifer, only focusing on you "Are you okay?!- I feel like I should say something" "please...don't" you replied, hiding behind Lucifer's legs "Mind your business, Solomon" Lucifer said before giving your leash another tug "Come on my pet. Don't mind him" you looked back at Solomon as you crawled next to Lucifer, continuing the journey to Lucifer's room.

Lucifer opened the door to his room, he picked you up and carried you into his room. He surprised you by tossing you onto the bed. You watched as he took off his waistcoat. He unbuttoned his sleeves and took off his shirt, he noticed you staring at him and smirked. He grabbed the belt that was still wrapped around your neck and pulled, jerking you forward "Watching me get undressed? You want your master's body, don't you?" His words made you excited. You kissed him, you moaned against his soft lips. You tried to deepen the embrace but he pulled on your leash, stopping you "I didn't give you permission" he said before, sitting up and grabbed his shirts "Maybe we should stop" He started putting his shirt back on, you tried to stop him as he reach for his waistcoat "Wait?! we're just going to stop, just like at?!" You said, trying to make him stop. He stared at you with a grin on his face, he was doing this just to aggravate you "Maybe if you learn how to obey your master we would continue" he said while pulling up his left sleeves. He tried to button the other one but you grabbed his hands "wait, please" you said "I'll do what you say... so please?" You were desperate, you moved your hand to his crotch and rubbed his cock through his pants. Your rubbing made Lucifer grunt "I'll do it, but only on one condition" he then grabbed your hair and pulled you up to make you face him "Call me master" he demanded. You stared at the Avatar of pride and let out a quiet "please, master" "I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you" he said jerking your head back, causing you pain "PLEASE MASTER!" You yelled. He loosen his grip on your hair, making you fall to the bed. He removes his belt from your neck, a red bruise was left on your neck. You wince as Lucifer rubbed a hand over your bruise neck "I didn't mean to make it that tight" "It's fine" you replied. You let out a moan as you felt Lucifer's lips against your abused neck "Will you obey me from now on?" He asked, kissing your neck again. You nodded in response. He pulled away and held up his button sleeve "You're going to do what I say from now on" he said "Now, take off my clothes" you He asked, kissing your neck again. You nodded in response. He pulled away and held up his button sleeve "You're going to do what I say from now on" he said "Now, take off my clothes" you unbuttoned his sleeve then removed his waistcoat, you slides his shirt off his shoulders and stared at his chest. You reached out a hand to touch his chest but you pulled back, you realized you didn't ask permission "Can I touch you, master?" You asked, desperately. Lucifer smiled at your obedience "No, you can not" he replied.

He laughed at your sad expression "Don't look at me like that" you stared at him, then focused your gaze to something else in the room. You were cut off guard by Lucifer pushing you down, he  flipped you over making you lie on your stomach. He started kissing your back and slowly moved down, you felt his breath against your skin as he spread you open. He rubbed his fingers over your hole. You grip the sheets as his fingers stretch your hole "Do you want me?" He asked as his fingers hit your sweet spot "Do want your master's tongue here?" You replied with a breathy "yes" as his fingers explored your body. He removed his fingers and replaced it with the tip of his cock "Well, you're not going to get it" you felt the head of his cock push into you, you bite down on the pillow as he slammed into you. He kissed your back as he thrust into you, you heard his moans in your ear as your heart pounded in your chest "Such a good pet" he grabbed you by the waist and hold  up your hips, your body moved with the rhythm of his thrust "Are you enjoying your master's cock?" He moaned. He grabbed your hair and jerked your head back, he grunted in your ear as he spoke "How does it feel? To finally have me inside of you?" you couldn't reply as your mine went blank, only your moans were coming out. He stopped, he pulled out of you and rested on your back, trying to catch his breath. As you calm down from your euphoric high, you try to speak "why… why did you-" he surely flipped you on your back. You scream in ecstasy as Lucifer slammed back into you. He started thrusting faster, pushing in and out of you rapidly. Lucifer moaned and growled deeply, his voice taken over by the feeling as he kept ploughing deeper and deeper inside of you. You looked up at him as he hovered over you, you began to unravel as you reached the edge. You reached out your hands, begging him to let you touch him. Lucifer leaned against your shoulder and you wrapped your arms around his neck, deepening the embrace. Lucifer tongue started to caress your ear, somehow it added to the pleasure of his thrust. Lucifer thrusts became sloppy and you knew he was at his limit too. You moaned his name and wrapped your legs around his waist as you reached your climax. Lucifer kissed you, followed by his own orgasm. You could feel Lucifer cum inside of you, you removed your legs from his waist as you lied in ecstasy. He pulled out of you, he moaned your name as he rested against your shoulder "Tha- that was amazing" he moaned, trying to catch his breath. He looked at you, he gave you a smile and stroke your cheek with his hand "Are you enjoying my cum inside of you?" He asked before giving you another kiss. He ran his fingers through your hair and kissed your neck, he noticed how exhausted you were and gave you a kiss on the forehead "You're breathing heavily, was it that good?" You nod your head, trying to collect yourself "It felt…. so good" he smiled at your response, he stood up and grabbed his pants "I'm going to run you a bath" he said before giving you another kiss. Lucifer put on his shirt and left the room, you laid on the bed waiting for his return. When he did, he wrapped you in a sheet and carried you in his arms to the bathroom.

See y'all in hell

the Beelzebub one: https://misssquishy.tumblr.com/post/620506063262859264/how-to-make-a-sandwich-101-part-1-obey-me

#obey me fanfic #obey me lucifer #lucifer x reader #shall we date lucifer #obey me shall we date #lucifer obey me #lemon fanfic #lucifer x y/n

[osita-iza]

The Way I Need 

Zen x Reader

Genre: Angst (cheating)

Word Count: 1.8k

You wake up not to a breakfast or sunshine. But to a phone call and countless articles detailing Zen’s affair with a costar. 

                                                              =

The phone on your nightstand vibrated against the wood; the sound taking over over the silent room. You groaned as you woke up. You reached to your side, and your hand grasped the small device. Looking at the screen, you saw a call from Jaehee coming in.

You hit answer without hesitation, pulling the blanket back over you as you pressed the phone against your ear. "Hey."

"Hi, MC. I wanted to check on you as soon as I heard the news," Jaehee immediately begin rambling, "I just... I can't believe Zen would do something like this. I really thought he had settled down. I am so sorr-"

Your voice croaked. "What are you talking about?"

She was silent for a few moments. "Did you not see the news?"

"I just woke up when you called me," you said. Your voice was tired, but a burst of nausea exploded in your body when she mentioned Zen.

"I... An actress Zen is working with came out and said that she had an affair with him," she mumbled. Afraid to say the words herself. "There's video and voice recordings as proof,"

Your breathing froze. The static from the other side of the phone kept going, and you wished that sound would freeze too.

"Is it online?" you asked.

"Yes, but I really don't think you should read it right now-"

"I'll call you back."

You weren't sure if she tried to say anything else, if she did, you didn't hear it. Your hands immediately went to your phone's search engine typing in:

Hyun Ryu

Multiple articles detailing the events between the two popped up, covering the entire first page. You recognized the actress' name in the headlines. She had played a side character in his last play, and she was the romantic lead with him in the one he was in now. You had met her. You remembered telling Zen how she was like an sweet angel to you during the short conversation you had with her. He had told you that if she was an angel, you were a goddess. You remembered how you giggled and told him to shut up. He  had thrown an arm around you and pressed kisses all over your face, saying he could never shut up, because it was the truth. His usually intense eyes had softened as you stared at each other, and he mumbled a soft 'I love you' as he kissed you.

You finally clicked one of the links, skimming the contents. All of the evidence lined up with the behavior you noticed from him. It was like everything clicked; it made sense now. All of those questions and concerns you had were now answered.

After staring at your phone for what felt like hours, you stood up. You dialed a phone number and hit speaker. The dial tone filled up the room as you grabbed a duffel bag and pulled open the drawers. "MC. I'm surprised you called me. Are you alright?" Jumin's deep and stoic voice calmed you down.

"I'm gonna go to a hotel for a while," you said, grabbing the folded clothes and placing them in the bag, "But my car's in the shop-"

"I can send Driver Kim over if you need me too."

Your stared at your phone for a moment. That was what you were gonna ask him, but you were grateful that he offered. "I would really appreciate that."

There was a shuffling of papers from the other side of the line. "He should be there in approximately half an hour, maybe forty-five minutes," he continued.

You froze, catching sight of one of Zen's t-shirts. It was one of his older shirts, never wearing it out in public. He hadn't made any protests when you started wearing it to sleep when you slept over, back before you moved in. When you moved in, he not so subtly added the t-shirt to your pajama drawer.

"MC?" Jumin's voice snapped you back to reality, away from the cotton fabric that somehow was still infused with his cologne.

"Sorry," you said, slamming the drawer shut, "Half an hour sounds fine. Thank you so much, Jumin. I appreciate it,"

"Of course." It was silent for a few moments as you zipped the duffel bag close. "I hope you feel better soon. You deserve better than a man like that."

You shut your eyes to prevent any tears falling. It was the same thing that you were telling yourself, but it felt so nice to hear him say it. To hear someone who knew you personally and cared about you to remind you. "Thanks."

There was a knock from his side of the line. Jumin sighed, "I have a meeting to go to. Message or call me if you need anything,"

"I will. Thank you again," you said before the call went dead. With your bag and phone in hand, you went to the front of the apartment. You dropped the duffel bag next to the table as you sat down at the kitchen table.

You opened up your phone again; the headlines staring back at you. You hit the link the article that you had read earlier. This time, you skipped the article, going straight for the comments.

The comment section was something that you had stopped checking ever since your relationship with Zen had become public. It was a harsh lesson. One that had made you insecure for months. Hell, some of his fans had created insecurities over qualities that you didn't even know you had. The internet saw everything, even the things you didn't.

The first time you had told Zen that you were insecure, he had pulled you into his arms and reminded you that you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen. That being with you was the best decision he had ever made. That he wouldn't trade you for anyone else in the world.

You clicked your tongue as you thought of that memory. He did trade you for someone else.

There must have been some masochistic urge in you in order for you to read the comments on an article like this. You were prepared for the comments saying you were ugly. That Zen had stepped up with her. That of course he was going to cheat on you, had you ever looked in a mirror before?

However, those comments were the minority. Most people were defending you, saying that Zen's cheating was inexcusable. That it was ridiculous for him to keep this up. Some of them were quotes from the audio clips that you weren't able to bring yourself to listen to.

A bitter part of you was satisfied by that. That they weren't defending him. You had given him everything you could give, even if it wasn't healthy. Meanwhile, Zen had given everything to his acting and fans. It felt nice that you both lost something. Even if you knew that his career would rebound, he had lost some of that fanbase for at least a day.

The door opened, and your eyes shot to the person walking in. Zen's eyes were wide as he stared at you. He slowly stepped to the chair at the table across from you, sitting down. Zen wasn't sure what to say; he could feel the waves of anger and pain coming off of you as you stared at him.

"So I'm guessing you saw the articles?" He gave a weak attempt at a smile.

You clenched your fists, trying to keep them still. "Yeah, I read the articles."

"I'm sorry," he said, "I don't have any excuses or explanations I just... I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you,"

You scoffed, tears shining. "I would hate to see what you do when you are trying to hurt someone." Zen opened his mouth before he shut it. He had nothing to say. You gulped in an attempt to get rid of the burn in your throat.

"How can I- Is there anything I can do to make it better?" Zen begged. He reached across for your hands, but you pulled away. "Please, I'm sorry."

"I knew."

He raised his eyebrows. "What?"

"You were staying later than you had ever stayed before. The director, one you've worked so many shows with by now, was suddenly asking you for meetings-" You let out a pathetic laugh, shaking your head. "-Deep in my gut, I knew you were seeing someone else. I knew it the whole time. I almost looked through your messages, but I was too scared of being right,"

Zen's eyes were shining with tears as he leaned forward. "What can I do?"

"Do you realize how many times I cried here while you were off fucking some girl?" You snapped at him. Tears were running down your face freely, but it didn't dilute the venom that was building up in your mouth. "Like hell you think you can just come in here and apologize and expect everything to be fine!"

“I know it won’t be fine, but I-” Zen dropped his head into his hands.

“So many people told me that you would do this, and I sat there and defended you,” you sighed, “And you went and proved them right,” 

“I don’t want to lose you,” Zen pleaded. 

There was a loud knock on the door. You shot out of your chair to answer it. Driver Kim gave you a polite smile, which you returned. You turned to grab your duffel bag. As soon as your hands grasped the handle, Zen grabbed your arm, trying to pull you closer. "Please, stay. We can fix this."

"There's nothing to fix," you argued, yanking your arm out of his grip.

He followed you, catching sight of Driver Kim. "Wait? Did you really call Jumin Han for help?" he asked, a glare taking over.

The anger that had been residing in your gut took over your whole body as he looked at you with an accusatory gaze. "Are you really jealous right now?" You asked, the volume of your voice raising with every word. "What? You scared I'm gonna cheat?"

"MC," Zen sighed, "Please let me make it up to you. I can be better,"

You stared at him for a moment. He was pleading with you, not to do anything other than stay. You were sure that he would treat you like royalty for a while. But that was it: a while. It wouldn’t be permanent. You did think that some part of him loved you- wanted to care for you. He wouldn't be crying like this if he didn't.

But you couldn't believe that he loved you fully. You couldn't believe that he loved and cared for you to the same extent you loved and cared for him. His love wasn't strong enough to care for you in the way you needed. If he did, his love wasn't pure. His love wasn't strong enough for him to make you a priority.

"I tried so hard for you. I tried so hard to deal with the late rehearsals, and you working out all the time, and when we had to pinch pennies because you didn't have a show lined up." The words were pouring out before you could stop them. You licked your lips and sent him a feeble smile. "I'm tired. I'm too tired to try anymore,"

Zen grabbed your hand and squeezed it. "I love you," he pleaded.

"Not in the way I need," you mumbled.

And with that, you shut the door.

#mystic messenger imagines #mystic messenger imagine #mystic messenger headcanons #hyun ryu imagine

[goldenraeofsun]

Won’t you come on over, baby?

A continuation of this verse

“Kick his ass, Peppy!”

Kevin glares across the softball field at the opposite team’s coach. “Can he say that?”

Claire rolls her eyes. “He can say whatever he wants to say. He’s a teacher.”

“He’s surrounded by impressionable minds!” Kevin insists.

Claire picks at her cuticles. “We’re sixteen. Not five. Everyone here has heard the word ‘ass’ before. And if you haven’t, I’ve got some bad news for you.”

“Why are you here, anyway?” Kevin shoots back.

“The view,” Claire says, leaning back against the bleachers smugly.

“This is a girl’s softball game,” Kevin says stupidly.

Claire tugs her ponytail straight. “Oh gee, nothing gets past you, Kev, does it?” She wolf whistles because she can.

Kevin freezes, his eyes narrowed.

Channing turns around on the bench and glares at her.

“Don’t perv on my girlfriend,” Kevin huffs.

“As if,” Claire sniffs. “Channing is not my type.”

“What is?”

“Shut up and watch the game, nerd.”

“The mascots are racing for a plastic trophy. There isn’t a game to watch yet,” Kevin points out. He glances at his watch. “It doesn’t start for ten minutes.”

“Fine, then sit down and shut up. I can hardly hear myself think.”

Kevin crosses his arms across his chest.

They sit in stony silence for the rest of the sham race. Claire buries her head in her hands as Peppy the Pigeon beats Oscar the Owl handily. “Why do we suck so hard?” she groans.

“Probably because we focus on academics rather than athletics,” a new, familiar voice says mildly.

“Mr. Novak!” Kevin squeaks. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve come to watch the game,” Mr. Novak says as he stands over them. “Claire, can you move over?”

“No.”

“Claire,” Kevin hisses, scandalized. How could she just say that to a teacher?

“Find your own seat, Uncle Castiel,” Claire says without looking up.

“You’re her uncle?” he blurts before he can stop himself.

“Yes, as much as Claire would like to deny it,” Mr. Novak says as he sits down gingerly in the little room left on their bench.

Claire begrudgingly shifts. She digs her elbow into Kevin’s side when he doesn’t move out of the way quickly enough. 

“I don’t think I’ve seen you at any games before,” Claire says, her eyes trained on the opposing team. A dark-haired girl walks up to the plate, her wild curls tucked into a ponytail under her helmet.

“I wanted to see what the fuss was about.”

“What fuss?” Claire asks, eyebrows raised. “We suck.”

“We’re not that bad,” Kevin protests. “We won the first game.”

“And lost the four since then,” Claire says dispassionately.

“That’s… not a good record,” Mr. Novak says delicately, his blue eyes narrowing as they survey the opposite team.

“It’s their new coach,” Kevin says, nose wrinkling. “They weren’t this good last year.”

Mr. Novak hums. “Then we’ll just have to step up to the plate.”

Claire snorts. “You are such a doof.”

Kevin shoots her an offended look on behalf of Mr. Novak. Kevin tells him, “He’s their new English teacher, or something.”

“Or something,” Mr. Novak echoes distractedly.

Claire sits up in her seat, looking at Mr. Novak with wide-eyes. “No way,” she breathes.

“What?” Kevin asks.

“You like him,” Claire says gleefully to Mr. Novak.

And Mr. Novak… blushes.

Claire whacks him in the arm. “Oh my God, I am so telling Dad.”

Mr. Novak silences her with a look. “Your father has no business in my love life. Or lack thereof,” he adds.

“Uh huh,” Claire says, and Kevin has never seen her this self-satisfied, including the time she got that 97 on Ms. Flagstaff’s midterm, the highest in the class. She turns to Kevin. “What’s his name?”

“Whose?”

“The softball coach,” Claire says impatiently. “Keep up, Kev.”

Kevin throws her a look. “Why do you think I would know?”

“Because you’re the most competitive person in sophomore year, so you know everything about everybody,” Claire says matter-of-factly.

Kevin tries not to look too pleased with himself. “I heard his name is Mr. Winchester.”

Claire quickly nudges Mr. Novak for confirmation, who sighs. “Yes, his name is Dean Winchester. But that’s all you’re getting out of me.”

Claire’s eyes gleam with challenge. “Have you talked to him, Uncle Castiel?”

“Yes.”

Claire groans. “You are no fun at all.”

“That is why I became a teacher,” Mr. Novak deadpans.

Kevin grins. “You’re a little fun.”

“Thank you, Kevin.”

Claire coughs. It sounds suspiciously like “suckup.”

All three of them watch the next few batters in silence, booing as Edlund scores their first run.

“Okay Mr. Know-it-all,” Claire starts, and Kevin isn’t sure if she’s talking to him or her uncle. “What do you know about her?”

“Who?”

“The girl who just scored,” Claire says, and Kevin can tell from the way Mr. Novak tilted his head, he’s listening in too.

“Nieves?” Kevin says. Claire doesn't react. “Not much. She’s a sophomore. Softball is her only extracurricular.”

Claire wrinkles her nose. “You’re no help.”

“Her best subject is English,” Mr. Novak says, surprising them both. “She’s won several short fiction awards for her horror novellas.”

“How do you know that?” Claire says, her mouth falling open.

Mr. Novak shrugs. “Teachers talk.”

“You mean, you talk to Mr. Winchester,” Claire clarifies.

Mr. Novak shoots a quelling look her way. “I pay attention to gifted students. And despite Principal Adler’s assurances to the contrary, they aren’t all enrolled at Carver.”

“Are you hoping to poach her?”

Mr. Novak shrugs. “She seems happy at Edlund,” he says, “but I have been exploring scholarship options just in case.”

“You should get her to transfer,” Claire says firmly.

“Why?” Mr. Novak asks.

Kevin rolls his eyes. “Because Claire has a crush,” he says, sing-songing the last word.

Claire punches him, hard, in the arm.

Ow, he mouths as Mr. Novak looks the other way.

“Shut up, Kevin.”

“You’re not subtle at all,” Kevin hisses.

Claire mimes slitting her own throat, her glare murderous.

Kevin sits back in his seat, his arm throbbing with victory. He knew something was up with Claire ever since she started coming to these games. She never came to a single one last year, so it was usually just Kevin and a bunch of parents.

Athletics really weren’t all that popular at Carver Preparatory.

But then Claire wandered onto the bleachers sometime around Game 2, and she’s been his steady, if annoying and cranky, companion ever since. It was a mystery, Kevin had been puzzling over for weeks.

He’d thought she was cool, the bad girl of Carver who wore a leather jacket over their uniform and heavy eyeliner. Turns out, she’s a big softie over nice hair and dark eyes.

“You should go over and talk to Mr. Winchester,” Claire says loudly.

Mr. Novak shakes his head. “He looks busy.”

“He looks like he’s yelling at the umpire,” Claire says gleefully.

“Like I said, busy,” Mr. Novak says pointedly.

“How well do you know him, anyway?” Claire asks.

“As well as two educators in separate but competing schools would know each other, I suppose,” Mr. Novak says.

“Yeah, that tells me exactly zip,” Claire says derisively. “How come you aren’t sitting with lover boy, anyway?”

“Claire!” Mr. Novak says sharply.

“What?” Claire crosses her arms across her chest. “I’m just saying.”

“I am still loyal to Carver Preparatory,” Mr. Novak says primly, nodding to the team.

Claire rolls her eyes. “I bet you’re just chicken.”

“I am not ‘chicken.’”

This was not the first time Kevin saw Mr. Novak do literal air quotes, but it never ceases to amaze him. 

“Are too,” Claire says, and who the hell ever told Kevin girls mature faster than boys?

Mr. Novak rolls his eyes to the sky, as if praying for patience. “Please drop it, Claire.”

“You really are no fun,” Claire huffs.

“I try my best,” Mr. Novak says, his voice dry as the Sahara.

They watch the next few innings, growing steadily more silent as Edlund racks up more runs and Carver… does not.

Kevin still cheers when Channing hits the ball. He winces when she gets tagged out at third base.

Claire hangs her head in shame as the two teams line up to slap hands and mutter “good game.” She grumbles, “I don’t know why I keep coming to these things. I’m not a masochist.”

“No, you just like the opportunity to ogle our athletic rivals,” Kevin quips.

“You’re on thin fucking ice, buddy,” Claire says blindly swatting in his direction as she watches Nieves drink from a water bottle.

Mr. Novak cuts in, “Language, Claire.”

“Bite me.”

Mr. Novak opens his mouth, but someone else interjects first, their tone playful, “You gonna take that lying down, Cas?”

Claire’s mouth falls open. “‘Cas’?” she repeats, her eyes wide as she takes in Mr. Novak, looking like a deer caught in the headlights..

Mr. Winchester, because of course it’s Mr. Winchester, clambers up on the bleachers. “I can’t believe you finally showed,” he tells Mr. Novak.

Mr. Novak’s face pinches. “I told you I would come.”

Mr. Winchester grins, slow and easy. “Yeah, but I didn’t believe you.”

Mr. Novak releases a long-suffering sigh. “Don’t you have children to wrangle?”

“I came here to collect my winnings.”

“Come on,” Mr. Novak complains, “That was hardly a serious bet.”

“Never pegged you for a sore loser, Cas,” Mr. Winchester taunts.

“Fine,” Mr. Novak grumbles as he leans forward and quickly presses his mouth to Mr. Winchester’s. “There, happy?”

“I’m friggin’ awesome,” Mr. Winchester says.

Claire rounds on Mr. Novak, her face accusatory. “Just two educators blah blah blah my ass.”

Mr. Winchester’s eyebrows rise, his face disapproving and maybe a little impressed. “I thought all you guys at Edlund were a bunch of dweebs.”

“Dean,” Mr. Novak says through gritted teeth, “Meet my niece, Claire.”

“The rest of ‘em are all dweebs, trust me,” Claire says dispassionately, jerking her head towards Kevin.

Claire Novak is officially the worst.

“I’m Kevin Tran,” Kevin says, ignoring her. “Mr. Novak is my Latin teacher.”

“Well, whaddya know,” Mr. Winchester drawls, “He was mine too.”

“He was?” Kevin asks, looking from Mr. Novak to Mr. Winchester and back again. “But you’re…”

“Old,” Claire finishes for him.

Mr. Novak sighs loudly.

Mr. Winchester snorts. “He was my tutor in high school, actually. We were in the same year.”

Mr. Novak turns pointedly to Mr. Winchester. “Don’t you have a team to get back to?”

“Oh, crap, yeah,” Mr. Winchester says with a wild look around. He ducks down, kisses Mr. Novak again before he can do anything about it, and jumps down off the bleachers.

“I can’t believe you’re dating a jock,” Claire says dispassionately as they watch Mr. Winchester sprint across the field.

Mr. Novak puts his head in his hands.

#destiel #fanfic #destiel fanfic #minor claire novak/kaia nieves #claire novak #kevin tran #fluff #teacher castiel #teacher dean #the story of us verse #profoundnet #rae writes fic

[callieelectra]

Calling Midnight Sun by Stephenie Meyer a disappointment would infer that I believed that the book would be good in the first place. Like so many others, I grew up with Twilight and enjoyed it. Before I found the likes of Shelley and Austen, women like Meyer and Rowling enthralled me in their imperfect fantasies. The latter of these women being my main source of disappointment has become a constant, Meyer just blindsided me! I was unaware of Midnight Sun until Meyer’s announcement made on the 4th of May, 2020, although I had heard of leaked chapters and publishing setbacks in the past. Leading up to the novel being released, just two days ago, my other Twi-hard gal-pals and I were elated. We preordered the books, we reminisced about Team Jacob memorabilia and counted down the days until we’d be able to get the books in our hands and relive the magic.

When I marched into my local Barnes and Noble on August 4th, 2020, a stack of hardcover Midnight Sun books sat exclusively on a table right by the checkout. My friend Samantha and I quickly grabbed a copy for each of us, paid nearly thirty dollars a book and were out of the door in less than five minutes. The book was heavy. Like, alarmingly large. One hundred and sixty pages longer than Twilight heavy. Before I get into the nitty gritty about what I did and didn’t like about the book, I'd like to make it apparent that I know the original Twilight series is seriously problematic. I'm not going to go into too much detail about the many issues with character portrayal in the original books (like the fact that Bella literally fainted when Edward kissed her, or the obvious, him being a stalker/murderer thing)I am just here to talk about the wonderful atrocities that we would have never had without Midnight Sun.

I think the thing that excited me most about this book was that I knew that canon couldn’t drastically change. Like many others, The Cursed Child and J.K. Rowlings Twitter has me permanently scarred. Collectively, we were allowed to recant the things about the series we loved, reconnect with characters we freely enjoy and maybe even get to know them more. I will say, we did get to know Edward and the Cullen family a lot more. What I didn’t expect was that I was going to strongly dislike more and more characters with each chapter passing. Particularly Edward. Edward Cullen was probably my first literary crush. I read the Harry Potter series in elementary school, so no, I wasn’t crushing on our favorite boy-wizard, I wanted to be Harry Potter, not date a Harry Potter-type. The Twilight series was different, I read the first two books when I entered the sixth grade, before anyone from the opposite sex could even tell I was a girl. Edward was my dream-boat. He noticed the plain, bookish girl and was openly in love with her. Her clumsy nature was what endured him to her. Her shyness was intriguing. I, like so many awkward, nerdy girls my age, craved that attention. The fact that Bella ritualistically described him as perfect definitely didn't help lower my standards for men, either. Something that I didn’t expect when reading Midnight Sun was that I’d eventually find my Original Boy Crush to be repetitive, clingy and annoying. For this, I directly blame Meyer. Realistically, the original series ended so loosely that it seemed a sequel series with Nessie and Jacob at the center was inevitable. Instead, collectively we were robbed thirty dollars a head to foolishly read a story that we already knew from the perspective of a boy we shouldn’t have found endearing in the first place. For this, I am to blame. Somewhere deep in my subconscious, I knew that this book would be bad, I bought it anyway. Jo Rowling trained us for this kind of disappointment, a trap that I would fall into time and time again.

What I was most intrigued to read about were two very different events that we saw in Twilight. First, the initial classroom scene when Edward smells Bella for the first time. Secondly, in the ballet studio when Edward is forced to drink Bella's blood in order to save her from becoming a vampire.

Both of these retellings were the least disappointing scenes from Midnight Sun, they almost made the entire read worth it. Almost. Reading Edwards initial reaction to Bella was genuinely fun to read, he goes into so much depth about how mundane his second life is until he meets this girl and is transported into super-serial killer mode. A direct quote from page 12 is “I could snap four or five of their necks per second, I estimated. It would not be noisy. The right side would be the lucky side; they would not hear me coming.” I was hooked! This was the kind of crazy, outlandish shit I couldn’t wait to read, and for a while, this type of language was persistent. Edward was a certified freak! And his entire family knew it. I, like Emmett and Jasper, found myself waiting for Edward to snap. There had to be a reason why Stephenie Meyer wrote this, right? There had to be some ultimate secret that we didn’t know, I convinced myself this. My darkest fantasies started to form... Maybe Edward would run all the way to Alaska and kill the first human that agitated him? Maybe he’d go on some secret sex-capade in an attempt to eleviate his stress? I dunno! I’m not the author! But maybe I should be because both of those options seem a lot more exciting than the secret we got. Basically, his family was like “it’s cool if you kill her or turn her, we don’t really care either way, just stop being annoying about this.” ….Not the route I would have taken, but it did seem practical.

After Edward's first couple weeks of deciding if he should kill Bella or not, the book started to drag. We already knew that they’d fall in love, we’ve heard that he is a sick, masochistic lion, and I’m pretty sure we read a description of Bella blushing on every other page. I started to get bored, but I knew I had to keep going. I was committed to reading the entire book, like a true fan, but I found myself getting irritated and wanting to skip ahead. In the ten years that it took for this book to get published, Stephanie Meyer did not become a better writer and her vocabulary hasn’t changed in the slightest. “Infinitesimal” isn’t the only adjective worth using, Stephenie, please get a thesaurus.

By the time I got to the blood drinking, I was too bored to even care. Edward described drinking Bella's blood as a decapitation and I was envious. Having my head severed from my body honestly seemed like a better alternative than having to continue reading the book (ok that’s a little extreme, but you get what I mean. I was fucking over it.) …. And there were four more chapters to go. I finished those chapters less than an hour ago and I honestly can’t tell you if there was anything worth reading within those moments.

All in all, I love the original Twilight series. I think they are so ridiculous but they are romantic and fun and easy to enjoy, but I won’t find myself returning to Midnight Sun or recommending it to anyone because I do believe reading it was a waste of time. Anything we gained from this behemoth of a book, we could have gotten from a Tweet (Jo Rowling style!) it would have been cheaper and easier on all of us. Hopefully Stephenie Meyer will use this cash grab to settle down and spend the next decade of her life writing the sequel series we deserve.

#midnight sun #twilight #stephenie meyer #edward cullin #bella swan #new moon #eclipse #breaking dawn #review #midnight sun review #sorry its scathing