#fatws oneshot

[romeulusroy]

Empathetic (Bucky Barnes Oneshot)

Character/s: Bucky

Word Count: 1,288

Tag List: Not including

A/N: This is my 1,000th way of saying I want to be taken care of and I want him to do it. Basically. Home is hard right now, it hurts a lot, and I just needed to write a bit for therapy. Things will get better soon. Idk maybe it's weird, but if it can help anyone struggling with basic things, then that's all that matters :) 💕  Feedback is always appreciated 💜💖💜

FIC MASTERLISTS / TAG LIST 

The bathroom smells of mold. Spores sleeping just beneath the surface. That distinct, pungent odor. Not entirely overpowering, rather growing, pulsing alongside the steam of the water. It’s there. You’re overtly aware of its presence, as if it were growing out of your back, from your stomach and arms. Sprouting from your spine. All of it is wet. Humid. Uncomfortable. It threatens to suffocate you. Then again, what doesn’t? What doesn’t feel like too much? You search for it, some sign, proof, but there is none. No dark spots, no birthmarks, nothing on the edge that screams rot, that announces itself the way so many things do. A feeling mostly, and that ache. In the middle of your chest, in the middle of your sternum. Deep and painful, the whole bone cracking, crumbling. It leaves you sobbing. It leaves you pleading. It leaves you feeling dirty, hence the shallow waters of a dirty bathtub. You should clean it more. Scrub it ‘till it shines. You should do a lot of things more frequently. Carve a routine from the mundanity of your days. Breathing is work enough. Exhausting enough. Oh well. The bloated walls moaning, groaning, all of it too thick. A sponge for the hours, days, lifetimes you’ve spent soaking under the water. The damp towels hanging over the edge, dipping shyly in the water long cooled. There is a vague soapy undertone to the room. Hints, attempts, but nothing with a name. Nothing distinct. You like to think of yourself vaguely soap-adjacent. Neither of you put up much of a fight. A single drop across the floor, a bump, a nudge, and you’re forever dented. Scarred. Unsettled. Like it, or like you, you find yourself swaying which way. Something for people to use until they no longer need you, until you’ve grown small and fragile. Breakable. The bar lays in her dish. No one wants you at your most vulnerable, turning to the bin for answers. She is exhausted. If she had bones, joints, blood vessels, if she could bruise you were sure she’d be covered. Deep purples, golden yellows, the kind of palette an artist would use when they fumed, burned with a passion for pain. She too would sob quietly at the end of her days for no particular reason than this life she’s been gifted, that she often feels as if she’s taking for granted, leaves more scars than she anticipated. 

You are grateful she is just soap. Unfeeling and numerous. 

Behind the mirror, sitting on their individual sleeves, are bottles. Containers that hold your whole life. White labels. Congealed liquids. Gels. Pills. Lotions. Creams. Oils. The things you use to hold yourself together, things you thought might fix the problem. Problem. Singular, it can be such a horrific idea. A lie you wish to wash over yourself. They are wgite and yellow and blue and green and red, their shades all in pastel. Pastel is cheery. It is childlike. There is safety in chewy, sweet colors. The pills. Your pills. Some work. Others don’t. It doesn’t really matter anymore. They are decorations at their worst. If only that was your worst. In front of the mirror you can’t stand to look so you don’t. There are imperfections. There are tea stained cheeks and deep bags beneath tired eyes. There are things, miniscule things, to fixate on, to tear apart. It’s the only form of self love you’ve ever been shown: criticism. A disgust, a feeling shy of hatred. When the water runs, it burns, and you are thankful for the steam that settles across your image. Blurring spots and shapes and colors. The sink is sweet. Slim, tender, she waits while you wash your hands, while you spit and sob and scream. Of all her sisters, she is your favorite. The faucet streams without doubt, shielding the world out there from in here. Vice versa. You could stand there for days, statue-esque, with nothing but the faucet turned on. A dribble, a drip, unapologetically controlled yet released by her emotions. This act buys you both time. A minute, perhaps even two, before you must gather all your pieces and pretend what you’re doing isn’t self-sabotage. 

Like this isn’t suicide. 

He doesn’t need to knock, but he will. Quietly. Softly. As if he were afraid to wake the dead. You don’t say anything. You can’t. He comes in anyways. He holds a towel. Fluffy, warm, fresh from the dryer. You would have chosen anything but. Flimsy, holy, full of holes. Something quick. You would have done anything not to show yourself, your body, a speck of kindness. He drags out soaps. Not your bar, not your little lady who cries and cries. Bottles, mostly full, of all scents. Strong. Abrasive. A sponge, too. He doesn’t say what he thinks, what he wishes to say, though he never had to. You could always read it in his features. Between the lines of his face. The tighten of his jaw. The crease of his forehead. He is upset. Not with you, never with you, merely the circumstances. A yearning for the water to be warmer, more welcoming. For things to be easier. For the world to be kinder. You don’t shrink from his touch, from his sight. Trapped in a nakedness you feel is far more vulnerable than sobbing in front of him and bearing your open soul, there is little left to do than accept. His presence was never an inconvenience, a nuisance, nor predatory. Rather this is his routine, his way of communicating. Loving. Without him, the impossible task would never get done. You would never find your way out. You would never wash off the outermost layer of dread and depression. Carefully, gently, he’ll place your hand in his, bubbles smooth across your fingers, your palm and wrist. Skin of lead, it is difficult to lift both arms, a chin, tilt a head side to side, all on your own. Knees to chest. Fetal position. He talks lightly of his day, the idea of you going without revolting. Disrespectful. You want to nod along, to laugh and ask questions. For now that is too much. For now catatonic, but not forever. He jokes, he knows just what to say, how to say it, as he cups the water, leans you back. 

There is not a second of patronization. 

With his fingertips, he circles the apples of your cheeks, the bridge of your nose, along your hairline. This is the last. It is almost over. You watch through teary eyes. This was not the plan. This was never the plan. And yet, it is. It was. Always. To care is to do so wholeheartedly. Without judgment. Without hesitation. He stands you slowly, the towel wrapped around you as if it were holding you together. His shirt is wet. Stained. Your hand print on his shoulder. It lingers. The plug of the drain is pulled. Gurgling like a newborn, it rids the room of any evidence. You rest your head against him, a wordless thank you. It is all you can manage. That and the brush of a tear. Bucky is all smiles, his arms wrapped around you as if he’d never let go. He didn’t want to. The kind that are easy, effortless. The kind you understand is of joy, pride, not at himself, but you. Only for you, for what you’ve accomplished. It doesn’t feel like much. It rarely ever does. But he is proud. He knows it is one step closer. It will be okay again. You will be able to do it on your own, without him, without help. One day, but not today. And that’s okay. It always will be.

#writing #bucky barnes #bucky barnes drabble #bucky barnes oneshot #the falcon and the winter soldier #the falcon and the winter soldier oneshot #the falcon and the winter soldier drabble #fatws #fatws drabble #fatws oneshot #marvel #marvel drabble #marvel oneshot

[aikaterini-drag]

Smiles and Smooches

Summary: You get drunk and demand kisses and hugs from your boyfriend. He is more than happy to please you.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader (no mention of y/n)

Warnings: no smut, takes place during tfatws, boyfriend Bucky, emotional security, fluff, kisses.

The night carried a pleasant breeze, the stars twinkling. You and Bucky sat close together under the dimmed light of a cozy booth at your favorite bar. The hum of laughter and clinking glasses surrounded you. And tonight, you were a little tipsier than usual. You had consumed two of your favorite cocktails— despite your boyfriend’s advice to take it slow. Bucky, unlike you, couldn't get drunk no matter how hard he tried, thanks to his super soldier genes. He had finished the last sips of your drink, attempting to prevent you from feeling sick later on.

Thankfully, you were feeling fine. Only slightly drunk and blissfully happy inside.

With flushed cheeks and a captivating smile, you shifted on your chair and leaned toward him.

"You know, babe," you slurred slightly, "you're like... seriously the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Bucky couldn't help but half-laugh. “I told you, you shouldn’t have ordered that second drink, sweets. You’re drunk.”

“I’m fine.” You hiccuped and hugged his arm. “It’s not my fault you’re superman.”

“Super-soldier,” he corrected with another half laugh.

“Tsk… is the same. You’re my strong, virile man. And I love you!”

He grinned and gently brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. "And you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.”

You beamed at him, your fingers tracing patterns on his bionic hand. "No, I love you more! Seriously, you're, like, super super cute. I mean, like, cuter than, like, a basket of puppies."

He chuckled at your comparison. “What an adorable declaration of love.”

“You’re adorable.” Your breath ghosted over his lips. “My adorable James. My Bucky.”

He smiled and kissed across your forehead. “Well, that’s debatable. I have the most adorable girl in the world right here with me."

Your cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of pink. "Can I have a hug? Please? You give the best hugs."

Who was he to deny you? He eagerly wrapped his arm around you and pulled you close. You melted into his embrace, your head resting on his chest, your fingers playing with the fabric of his shirt. You popped a button and he chuckled and gripped your hands gently.

“No funny business, sweets.”

You pouted. “Want to kiss you. Everywhere.”

He kneaded your hair. “We’re in a bar full of people.”

“Then let’s go home,” you said as your mouth trailed a path of warmth along his unshaven jawline.

“I’m not letting you drink ever again. You get turned into a little kiss monster.”

You giggled. “Your kiss monster.”

“Mine. Always.” He hummed, his voice a warm murmur.

“Take me home, sarge.”

“Home it is, my sweet.”

After taking care of the bill, he held you up, his arms wounding around you to steady you. You still felt a little tipsy but you were also so happy and warm, holding him close, inhaling his fresh masculine scent. Holding you protectively against him, he led the way to the apartment you shared.

As they walked, he glanced at you. “Why did you drink so much, sweets? You dislike it.”

You sighed and clutched his arm. “I’m just sad you’re going on another mission. I don’t want you to be hurt. I meant to have one drink but… I lost control a bit, I guess.”

Bucky stopped and cupped your flushed face. “Hey, don’t worry. I’ll be fine. You know I’ve got this.”

“So what if you’re good at it? Does that mean you have to risk your life without concerns?” Tears welled up in your eyes. “What if something happens to you?”

Exhaling, he drew you into a tight embrace. “I’ll be careful, I promise. You know I’ll always come back to you.”

You nestled into his arms, suppressing a sob. “I just hate seeing you go into danger again.”

“I know, sweetheart. But it’s what I do. And I do it to protect people like you, people I care about,” he said, pressing gentle kisses on your moist cheeks. “Don’t cry. I’ll be counting the minutes until I can come back to you.”

“Promise?” You gazed up at him, searching his ocean eyes for reassurance.

“I promise.”

“My Bucky,” you said, caressing his face. “I love you,” you whispered, your voice filled with emotion.

He held you tighter, pressing a kiss to your lips. “Love you too, more than words can express, sweets.”

With his arms wrapped around you, you stayed there for a while, holding each other, kissing lazily. His lips brushed against yours repeatedly, his tongue coaxing your mouth apart and slipping inside. He consumed you, with his touches and his warmth, until there was nothing left but his warm gentle touches and the assurance that everything would be alright.

Follow for more content 🩵 Reblogs or any other kind of support are greatly appreciated. Hugs and kisses 🩷

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x fem!reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x fluff #bucky barnes fiction #bucky barnes fan fiction #bucky barnes oneshot #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes #alpha bucky barnes #fatws bucky #bucky fluff #beefy bucky #bucky bear #caring Bucky #by aikaterini

[stardustdreams-andcaffeine]

The Thin Line | Bucky Barnes

Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

Summary: Of one thing you were certain—Bucky Barnes hated you, and you hated him. How could you not, considering the super soldier had made it his personal mission to make your life a living hell after you had been assigned to protect him? But there was someone after Bucky from his past, and now he was forced to work alongside you to stop them. And in the process, you would find out just how thin that line was between love and hate.

A/N: This one comes from this request that I received a while back! I have been criminally slow in responding and I sincerely apologize. Hopefully this makes up for it a little bit 🤍

Warnings: blood and violence (all canon for the MCU), someone takes a severe beating (may or may not be reader), ANGST, fluff scattered here and there, fatws!Bucky, banter, mature themes and allusions, grumpy!Bucky

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Hate. There was perhaps no other word as final and lasting as hate. 

People had always said that there was a thin line between love and hate, that the two emotions were so similar it was often hard to tell them apart. But not to you. You knew the line between them distinctly. 

You had seen people fall out of love as easily as the winking out of a candle, and in the same manner you’d watched a person’s hate burn on even past the grave. You couldn’t understand how someone could mix up the two emotions, not when love had always seemed so fleeting and hate so persistent. 

What you didn’t know just yet was that the passion involved in both love and hate often danced upon that line you were so sure was distinct to you. You didn’t know that love, real love was barely an emotion at all. And you certainly didn’t know that when one person truly loved another, it was anything but fleeting. 

It was the one thing that lasted longer than hate. 

But it wasn’t your fault that you didn’t know. After all, how could you? You’d never known real love.

At least, not yet.

|||

The sky seemed to sparkle as the rare sunshine blasted through the clouds and beamed down upon the city of Brooklyn. 

But in this moment, you couldn’t fully appreciate its glory. No, not when this happened to be the day you were moving box after box of your belongings into your new apartment. The dazzling sun dared to make you collapse under its rays as you hauled out the last box of your stuff from your car. Sweat slipped down your spine as you managed to slam the trunk shut while balancing the box precariously on one hand. With a huff, you gripped the last box tightly and swiveled towards your apartment complex for the last time. 

By the time you’d managed to get into the lobby and over to the elevator, you were practically dreaming of being able to drop down this last box into your new apartment and drop dead on your new couch. You could almost taste the beer you’d picked up on your way into the city and-

“You have got to be kidding me!” You exclaimed, dread coursing through your frame as you read the sign taped onto the elevator doors. 

Out of Service.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” The concierge called, leaning on his desk and offering you an uncaring smile, “Stupid thing’s been breaking down all month.”

And you haven’t fixed it yet?

The angry words stayed in your head as you decided with a long sigh that the argument wasn’t worth it. 

“That’s fine,” You gritted out, adjusting your hold on the box, “I’ll just take the stairs.”

“Good luck,” The concierge wished, his tone bored. 

Not even an offer to help you? The urge to yell at the worker was growing by the second, but you were determined to start this mission out right. Gritting your teeth, you walked over to the stairs and started climbing them without giving yourself time to hesitate. This was going to be a long journey up, and you’d rather get it over with as fast as possible. 

By the time you reached your floor, your arms were trembling with effort and your legs were moments from giving out. You took the last step up the stairs onto your floor, letting out a sigh of relief as you paused only for a moment. Just a few more steps and you’d be at your door. 

You took half of a step when someone slammed right into you. With the box obstructing your view, you couldn’t see the person coming and they clearly hadn’t seen you. You let out a yelp as you stumbled back towards the stairs behind you. In sudden panic to not tumble down them, you released the box you were holding to free your hands. Just as you were grappling for a railing or something to keep you from falling, a gloved hand gripped your arm and yanked you forward, away from the stairs. 

You stumbled right back into the person who had just collided with you seconds prior. As you fell into their hard chest, you were bewildered since you were sure you had dropped the box right…

As you glanced up, you saw the box you had released resting easily on one of the stranger’s hands. His other was still holding your arm, and it was then that you realized that his hand was ice cold. Even with the glove on. With furrowed brows, you glanced up towards the stranger.

“Thank-” Your words died abruptly as your eyes met steel blue ones burning down at you. His hair was shorter and his face was drawn into a look of slight annoyance, but it was him. Your mission had run into you before you could even move into your apartment, “You.”

James Buchanan Barnes released your arm, his stubbled jaw clenched in the way you figured it often was. You would be lying if you said it was only your mission that made your thinking halt so swiftly, because none of his pictures did Bucky’s roguish beauty justice. He was ruggedly, painfully, hopelessly handsome, and you scrambled to collect your mind.

“Don’t mention it,” Came Bucky’s low reply. His voice shot straight through you, setting your hairs on end and stirring something in your chest. With easy strength that now made sense, Bucky held onto your box with one hand, “Moving in today?”

It took every ounce of your strength not to giggle. His words were strained and almost…awkward. You knew he didn’t talk much anymore, but it was hopelessly adorable how he was trying to make small talk. With a smile you kept restrained, you nodded.

“In that unit right there, actually,” You replied, walking over to your door and turning back towards the super soldier, “Thanks for saving my box.”

“I think I saved more than that,” Bucky quipped, his tone smooth and rough all at once. You raised an eyebrow at the man.

His arrogant charm was still intact, that’s for sure.

“Well thanks for that too,” You responded, pulling your keys from your pocket and unlocking your door. As you shouldered it open, you held out your hands to take the box back.

You could tell he wanted to carry the box in for you, a remnant of the 40’s manners that were ingrained deep within him. You kept your hands out for the box, to which Bucky gave in swiftly. You breathed a quiet sigh of relief as he did. Had he brought it in for you, he would have seen the surveillance equipment and weapons scattered about the unpacked apartment. 

“Well, I’m next door if you need anything.” Bucky stepped back once you had the box in your hands, half of your body inside your open door. You smiled at him, internally cheering that this mission had already begun on such a great foot. 

“Nice to meet you, neighbor,” You announced, your trained eyes taking in the bags underneath his eyes and the tense hold of his frame, “I’m Y/N.”

He hesitated only for a moment, “Bucky.”

And just like that, he had turned on his heel and walked away towards the stairs. You watched him go for a second, intrigue filtering into your gaze. He was distant and detached like you had expected, and the air of grumpiness he bore was unmistakable. But there was a softness to him that you couldn’t deny. Only a touch, but it was there.

Before he could see you watching him, you fully entered your apartment and made sure the door shut behind you. Setting the box down with a huff, you settled your hands onto your hips and surveyed the controlled chaos before you. A few handguns lay strewn around, and your secured technology was piled atop the couch you so desperately wanted to drop onto. 

But you couldn’t sleep, not just yet. There was work to be done.

Out of your entire CIA division, you were the operative that Sam Wilson had tasked with keeping an eye on his lone wolf of a friend. Even though Sam knew he could take care of himself, he had asked you to keep tabs on Bucky to ensure he was safe, especially since the Winter Soldier had racked up a list of enemies just dying to exact revenge now that the world was back to semi-normal. 

But this wasn’t the Winter Soldier. This was Bucky Barnes, and even though you knew he could handle his own, you were not going to take this mission lightly. You would look out for him, make sure he didn’t drop off the grid like he loved to do, make sure no rogue enemies took him down.

You would protect him, even though you knew Bucky would kill you and Sam if he found out. 

So, you would just have to keep him from finding out.

|||

It had been almost two months since you moved in, and the most you had talked with Bucky since your first encounter was in passing on the stairs and the occasional elevator ride. 

Of course, you had formatted your daily routine to oppose his perfectly, ensuring you would run into him as many times as passable for coincidence in a day. Even with that, though, all you managed to get out of Barnes was a nod or the occasional hello. He truly was a lone wolf—quiet, grumpy as hell, and, well, alone.

Even with his avoidance of you and all other humans in general, you managed to survey him nearly every day. It had been quiet. No intruders, no threats, no disappearances. Physically, he was perfectly safe. Mentally? 

You shook your head at the thought. Bucky needed a life. And social interaction. Sam called you often, wondering if he was still alive considering how much Bucky dodged his texts. It was almost like he wanted to be separated. Like he was punishing himself for something. 

That last thought rang through your mind as you started cleaning the dishes you had acquired from your dinner. As the warm, sudsy water ran across your fingers and over the pot you were washing, your brows were furrowed in concentration. If Bucky really was keeping his distance on purpose, maybe protecting him physically wouldn’t be the object of this mission. 

But you weren’t trained for that. You were trained for gun fights and strategy and high-level, covert operations. You were trained to infiltrate criminal holdings and take down dangerous individuals. You were trained to attack, protect, defend, strategize. 

That’s why you noticed that Bucky Barnes’ door didn’t open precisely at the same time that it had every night for two months. 

You paused in your dish-washing, setting down the pot into the sink and turning off the faucet. Letting silence cloak your apartment, you listened closely for the sound of his footsteps or the shutting of his door. 

Nothing. 

He could be running late, but Bucky never ran late. He never-

There was the smallest shuffle of a foot against your wooden floor.

You shot your hand out and grabbed the knife you had just washed, but you were a moment too slow. Just as your hand closed around the handle and you began to turn around, your back was shoved into your fridge and the knife ripped out of your hand. 

Before you could even blink, Bucky Barnes had you pinned against the fridge with his metal hand around your throat. 

Your pulse ratcheted up painfully, your eyes wide as you gripped onto his metal wrist. His grip wasn’t constricting your airway, but was applying enough pressure to remind you that your life was currently in his grasp. Bucky was close to you, so close that you could see the flecks of gray in his blue eyes as well as the fury that crossed through them.

“Who the hell are you?” His voice sent a shiver down your spine. It was dark and rough and even, and it should not have had the effect on you that it did. 

His body heat poured into you with how close he was to you, and the cold metal of his hand was a sharp contrast. Breathing was difficult, and not entirely because of his hand on your throat. There was something in the air between you, something thick and palpable. You swallowed, keeping your breathing as even as you could.

“Your neighbor,” You responded, not entirely having to fake the tremble in your tone.

“Bullshit,” Bucky growled, his grip on your throat tightening the slightest bit, “You’ve been tailing me for weeks. Who do you work for?”

“Just because our schedules clash doesn’t mean-”

“If one more lie comes out of your pretty little mouth, I’ll make sure whoever hired you is the only one who knows your death wasn’t an accident.” Bucky was unflinching, cold hard rage burning across his features. Beneath it, though, you could see fear. So much fear. It made your heart nearly crumble. 

He was scared you were here to hurt him.

“I’m with the CIA,” you finally whispered, your tone no longer shaking despite his outright threat. For some reason, you knew he would not hurt you, “I’m here to watch out for you, make sure you’re safe.”

Bucky’s grip on your throat lessened the slightest bit, and his brows furrowed as he tried to make sense of why the CIA would surveil him. Not giving him a chance to speak, you continued, “And I’m pretty sure the person who hired me would come here and beat your ass himself if you killed me.”

You paused, nodded your head to the side slightly and said more to yourself than him, “Well, he’d try.”

“Who hired you?” Bucky repeated, his tone less harsh than before, but just as dark.

You took a beat to consider your options, but conceded defeat with a sigh, “Sam Wilson.”

Being so close to him, you could see every emotion that flashed through his face. As you watched him work through anger to frustration to annoyance, his grip on your throat loosened until his hand was just resting against your neck. 

“Unbelievable,” Bucky grumbled, pulling his hand off of your neck and stepping back in one swift motion. 

You let out a full breath, bringing a hand up to touch your throat where his metal hand had just been. You felt suddenly cold without his body heat by you, but it was a cold that you welcomed. If this was how he was going to thank you for trying to help him then you couldn’t wait to be away from him.

You looked over to see Bucky a few strides away, his phone pressed to his ear and his hand on his hip.  Before you could speak to him, whoever he was calling must have picked up, but you didn’t have to guess at who it was.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Bucky suddenly exploded, his jaw tight. Whatever Sam said didn’t appease him because his exasperation only intensified.

“You Sharon Carter’ed me!” Bucky gritted out, “Steve was clueless so he didn’t notice until she was on his doorstep with a gun, but did you really think I wouldn’t?”

“Sharon Carter’ed?” You mumbled, confused. Shaking your head, you took a step closer to Bucky, “Listen, if you’ll just give me a minute to explain,”

Bucky stopped you, pointing in your direction, “No, you don’t get to talk here.”

Shock crashed over you as he continued to argue with Sam over the phone. Indignation flared within your chest and you sputtered for a moment, trying to comprehend the fact that he had just shushed you in your own apartment. 

“Nuh uh,” You interrupted, anger flaring hot in your veins as you stormed over to Bucky, “This is my apartment and you do not get to waltz in here, choke me out, then tell me I can’t speak.”

“You choked her out?” Sam shouted on the other side of the phone, so loud even you could hear it. Bucky’s eyes were hard as he dropped the phone to his side and took a step closer to you. He was menacing when he wanted to be, and right now, towering over you with a quiet sort of anger, he was. If only you scared easily.

“Oh really?” He nearly whispered, his anger flooding down at you. You could see him getting more frustrated the longer you stared him down right back, your chin tilted up and your gaze as leveled with his as it could be considering his height and stature, “You’ve been spying on me for weeks and now I’m the one invading your space?”

“I wasn’t spying on you, I was looking out for you. If you haven’t noticed, your friend is a little more than worried about you!” You fired back. You heard Sam saying something on the phone, but it was still down by Bucky’s side. 

The two of you were staring each other down, that same thick tension in the air. Not thinking about the consequences, you reached down and snatched the phone from Bucky’s grasp and turned it on speaker. 

Bucky looked at you in pure shock, as if he couldn’t believe you’d actually just taken the phone from him.

“You’re on speaker now, Sam,” You informed. 

“Finally,” Sam sighed over the phone, his tone surprisingly even and patient, “Buck, you gotta understand where I’m coming from. You don’t answer anyone’s texts, you don’t check in, and I know for a fact you’ve had one or two unwelcome visitors at your door.”

“I can handle myself, Sam,” Bucky gritted out. 

“I know you can, but you shouldn’t have to! I know that it’s hard with Steve gone, so-”

“No, you don’t know.” Bucky’s voice was final, and Sam paused, not seeming to fight with his statement. Bucky stared down at the floor, his arms crossed over his chest. 

You couldn’t help but stare at him. There was a sadness in those words, one that nearly shattered your heart. Your anger towards the super soldier softened the slightest bit.

“You’re right, I don’t,” Sam conceded, “But I’m trying to reach out here. We don’t have many people left, man. I don’t want to lose another friend.”

That seemed to soften the edge of Bucky’s frustration so deeply that even the frown set into his face disappeared. In its place was resignation. 

“I’m not here to intrude on your life,” You chimed in, making Bucky glance up to you, “I’m just here to make sure you’re safe.”

“I don’t need a babysitter,” Bucky grumbled. 

“I’m not your babysitter,” You assured, “And trust me, after tonight I want to spend as little time around you as you do around me. So, let’s make a deal. I keep to myself and you don’t break into my place and try to kill me in my sleep.”

Bucky hesitated, his eyes surveying you closely. On the phone between you, Sam piped up, “And you have to answer my texts.”

Bucky groaned, running a hand through his short, dark hair before shaking his head. After what seemed like an eternity, he sighed in defeat, and you couldn’t stop the small smile of victory that tugged on your lips.

“Fine,” He gave in, his eyes turning up to lock with yours, “But if I see you tailing me one more time, deal’s off.”

“No promises,” You responded boldly, your heart pounding strangely as Bucky took a menacing step closer to you.

“Then no promises about breaking in,” He shot back. The two of you glared intensely at each other until a voice called out from the phone.

“Alright you two, knock it off,” Sam ordered, sounding so incredibly tired, “Now can I please go? You caught me right in the middle of my beauty sleep.”

You chuckled softly, a smile ghosting your lips again, “Bye Sam,”

You ended the call and handed the phone back to Bucky, who you found already staring at you. You couldn’t place the look in his gaze, but it seemed akin to disdain, so your smile dropped. 

“How did you even get into my apartment?” You asked. Bucky kept his arms crossed over his chest, making his biceps bulge against his long-sleeve Henley.

“You tell me, you’re CIA,” He shrugged, looking too smug, “Or should I call Sam back and tell him he sent a novice to babysit me?”

“Stay out of trouble, Barnes,” Was all you said back, your jaw held tight.

“Have fun with your dishes,” Bucky dryly responded, brushing past you without another word towards your door. Frustration bubbled up within your gut, and it took every ounce of your patience to not turn and yell right back at him. So, taking a deep breath, you turned and watched him open your apartment door.

He paused and glanced back over at you before he was fully out, “And stay out of my way. I’m doing this for Sam, not because I need your help.”

Then he slammed your door and left. 

Taking all of your energy not to scream, you let out another sigh and put a hand to your forehead. Gone was the distant, polite neighbor. You had failed epically, but you couldn't from here on out. 

Bucky Barnes was going to make your life hell, and you already dreaded every second to come.

|||

Over the next month, your nods and hello’s in passing turned into grunts and, if you were lucky enough, the occasional insult you could fire back at.

In short, you loathed Barnes. 

Looking back, you couldn’t fathom how his handsome features had drawn you in when you first met. Sure, he was still stupidly attractive, but now it was more frustrating than it was something to fawn over. 

You still did your job as best you could, but you counted the days until Sam could come up to New York and take over the mission for you.

Currently, you were mulling over ways to subtly infuriate Barnes more than you already did as you walked back to your apartment complex from your run. You tried to get out and run at a park nearby a few times a week, but considering how much you hated running, you’d missed a few weeks in the process. 

Today, though, you just had to go. You needed to clear your head after you bumped into Barnes this morning and he informed you that somehow, the potted plant hanging on your balcony “accidentally” ended up on the ground five stories down. 

As you walked back into the cool lobby of your apartment building, you glanced up at the stairs that sat right beside the elevator. You paused for just a moment, considering if you should be healthy and take the stairs. That moment was swifter than you’d like to admit as you turned towards the elevator only to find the doors closing. 

Against the protest of your legs sore from your run, you jogged over to the elevator, “Hey, hold the doors!”

As you approached, you saw a hand shoot through and stop the doors from closing just in time. As they opened back up, you sighed in relief, an easy smile on your features, “Thanks. I-”

As you stepped into the elevator, your words died. As you and the person who had held the elevator for you locked eyes, the both of you groaned. 

“You have got to be kidding me,” You grumbled at the same time as Bucky Barnes.

The elevator doors shut, closing you into one of your worst nightmares—the two of you stuck together in a confined space. The air was heavy and the tension high, an uneasy silence settling in the air. Your chest tightened slightly and your body tensed up, almost as if you were waiting for something to happen. Deciding to be civil, you looked over at Bucky and offered him a cordial smile.

“Had a good day so far?” You asked, your voice strained. 

Bucky just shook his head, “If you try to make small talk right now, I will throw you into the elevator shaft.”

Your smile dropped instantly, replaced by a grimace, “You are so violent, you should really talk to your therapist about all that pent up anger.”

“I hate you,” Bucky grumbled. 

“Well that makes two of us.”

Almost as if on cue, the elevator comes to a grinding halt. The stop is so sudden that it jolts the box, making you gasp and grab onto the railing along the wall opposite Bucky. 

“What the hell?” Bucky grits out, walking up and pushing the button to your floor repeatedly. When that doesn’t work, he pushes the emergency button only to have no response. That button must have been broken too.

Realizing suddenly your predicament, you brought a hand to the bridge of your nose, “This is not happening.”

Of all the times for the stupid elevator to break down, it chose now? When you were stuck inside with the one person in the world who hated you the most?

“Hello?” Bucky called out, banging on the side of the elevator. 

“Yeah, ‘cause that’s gonna fix it,” You criticized, shaking your head at Bucky. 

“Well what else are we supposed to do? The damn help button won’t work,” He fired back.

“I know you were born almost a century ago, but we have these things called cell phones and they do this magical thing where we can call for help.” You pulled out your phone and showed him the emergency call screen for show. Shaking his head, Bucky grumbled something about “insufferable” under his breath as you called for help.

While you were on the phone with emergency services, you explained your situation only to be told the fire department was caught up and wouldn’t be able to help for another hour. 

“An hour?!” You exclaimed, already planning how you were going to beat the hell out of the management team for not fixing the stupid elevator. 

“I’m sorry, that’s the best we can do,” The emergency operator apologized. Suddenly feeling guilty for you outburst on the poor worker just doing their job, you sighed. 

“No, don’t be. It’s not your fault. Thanks for the help,” You amended, your tone softer this time. After hanging up, you slipped the phone into your pocket. 

“Well, looks like we’re stuck here for a while so get-,” Your words halted abruptly when you looked up and saw Bucky opening the doors of the elevator by force, “What the hell are you doing?”

“Getting out of here,” He gritted back, shoving open the doors easily. You almost laughed when he was met with a solid brick wall. With a smug smile, you tilted your head at the soldier.

“You were saying?” You sweetly taunted. He shot you a death glare as he let go of the elevator doors, allowing them to shut back. 

“It’s gotta be an easy fix,” Bucky mumbled to himself, walking back to the wall opposite you and beginning to bang on the side of the elevator. 

You gasped as the elevator box began to tremble under his hits and you lurched forward, grabbing his bicep to stop his assault, “Stop! You’re gonna send us plummeting straight to the basement.”

“Well then maybe I’ll get lucky,” He grunted, shaking off your hold and going to hit it again. This time, real fear hit you. 

“If we drop, you’d make it unscathed,” You began, and Bucky didn’t even look at you. 

“Exactly, so what’s the-”

“I wouldn’t.” Your words are softer than even you’d expected, but it managed to halt Bucky’s assault on the side of the elevator. He glanced back at you, and in that moment you understood exactly what hung in the air unspoken. He was a super soldier, you were a normal human. 

He couldn’t respond before the elevator gave a sick jolt.

You gasped, your knees nearly buckling from the fall. Before either of you could react, the elevator was careening down in a free-fall. You barely had time to scream when Bucky’s strong arm was around your waist and tugging you close, pressing you between the elevator wall and his body. He held you in a death grip, locking you against him and effectively saving your life.

Luckily, just as quickly as the fall had started, it stopped with a brain-shaking halt. 

The silence that followed was thick, and you didn’t realize you were gripping Bucky’s shoulders until your mind finally was convinced you weren’t going to fall to your death. Coming to your senses, you felt your body pressed tightly up against Bucky’s and looked up to see him staring down at you, his brows drawn together and the hate in his eyes missing. 

It was then that you realized you could no longer ignore the tension that was present whenever he was near you, because in this position it was overwhelming. 

The moment was over as soon as it had begun. You were shoving him off almost as soon as he was letting you go. Breathless, you shoved Bucky’s shoulder, “What the hell, Barnes? You could have gotten us killed!”

“Then you would have failed your stupid mission,” Bucky pointed out, only making you angrier. 

“You are infuriating,” You seethed, holding your hands out in exasperation, “Are you trying to get me to quit? Are you that insistent on shoving everyone else away?”

Bucky shook his head, his jaw held tight and his blue eyes on fire. He was staying silent, shutting down again like he often did. That only made you angrier, but a part of you yearned to get closer, to prove to him that you weren’t going to leave him.

Once again, as if on cue, the elevator began to move again with a jolt. You let out a breath of relief, your anger turning into exhaustion. Just as the elevator stopped, this time at your floor, you got off first, Bucky close behind.

“Fine, give me the cold shoulder,” You called out to him as you approached your door beside his. You fished out your keys and stopped, looking over at him as he ignored you and worked to open his door, “Do what you have to, but I’m not leaving you.”

Bucky froze, turning to look at you. Something in his gaze stirred your heart, but you kept your gaze strong and unflinching, “I’m seeing this mission through, whether you like it or not.”

Then you opened your door and went inside, leaving Barnes out in the hallway, still frozen with his keys in his door. 

|||

That night, you couldn’t get to sleep. 

You tried everything—sleeping supplements, reading, counting sheep. Nothing worked. Your mind refused to settle down, running over your elevator encounter with Bucky over and over again. The way he seemed to stall when you said you weren’t leaving him, the way he had grabbed you the instant the elevator dropped, the way you could still feel the burn of his arm around your waist. 

The way being held by him had felt so infuriatingly right. 

You covered your face with your pillow, willing yourself to forget what you just couldn’t seem to. You didn’t have to try long when the sound of something scraping on glass caught your attention. Slowly, you pulled the pillow off of your face and listened closely, the silence of your apartment settling over you like a blanket. 

Maybe you had dreamt the noise. Maybe Bucky really was getting to you head and it was making you cr-

There it was again.

You sat up this time, your brows furrowed as you swiftly got out of bed. With silent feet, you crept to your window and pulled down one blind just enough for you to peer out into the dark night illuminated only by the haze of streetlights below. 

Nothing. Nothing, nothing…there. 

In the murky night, your strained eyes caught a glimpse of a rope hanging down off to the left of your window. Towards Bucky’s apartment. Looking a bit harder, you saw another, and then another. Then, now that you were listening, you began to hear the soft thuds of shoes against brick and iron and glass.

Someone was going to break through his window.

Suddenly vaulted into action, you jogged out of your room, grabbing the gun you kept on your nightstand as you did. You didn’t stop to consider the fact that you were only in a large t-shirt with no pants on. The only thing you could think about was Bucky sleeping next door while those intruders busted into his windows. In a matter of seconds, you were out into the hallway and pounding on Bucky’s door. 

“Barnes, let me in,” You hissed, your voice low so as not to wake the neighbors. When there was no response, you pounded your fist against the door again. The sound mocked the repetitive thumping of your heart within your chest, its beats not only for the fight to come or the sudden burst of energy. 

“Come on!” You pressed, in the middle of another round of knocking when the door flew open. On the other side, a very pissed and very shirtless Bucky stood, his muscular arm barring the doorway.

“This better be good,” Bucky grumbled, his voice closer to a low growl. 

If this were any other time, you would have taken a moment to appreciate the sculpted plane of his body or even to notice the blanket strewn on the hardfloor indicating he didn’t sleep in a bed. You didn’t worry about any of that, though. Instead, you shoved past Bucky as soon as that door was opened, your gun raised.

“What the hell are you-”

Bucky was cut off by the shattering of his window.

You had four rounds fired off before the first two intruders could set their feet in the apartment. The blasts were muffled by the sound suppressor on your gun, but they found their targets with no less force or deadly precision. 

“Shit,” Bucky cursed, the sound of his dog tags clinking as he sprinted over to the window just as the third and fourth intruders touched down. This time, these two made it down, the bullets lodging in the wall or their vests. 

Then Bucky was on them, his metal arm catching one by the throat while he kicked the absolute shit out of the other, sending the intruder flying into the wall. The plaster cracked behind him and you shoved your gun into your waistband, no longer able to fire without risking hitting Bucky. 

As Bucky incapacitated the intruder he had by the throat, you made sure the one he kicked stayed down. As the attacker staggered to his feet and rushed you, you dodged his clumsy hits easily and landed a crushing uppercut to the underside of his jaw. The sound of his teeth snapping together was sickening, but you were unfazed. 

As the large attacker stumbled back, you rushed him and slid to the ground. You wrapped your legs around one of his and tugged, bringing the large invader crashing to the ground with a force that made the floor shudder. Moving quickly, you maneuvered yourself on top of the downed intruder and whipped out your gun, holding it directly at his head.

Suddenly, the apartment was silent except for the panting of both you and Bucky. You glanced up to see Bucky standing over the invader he was fighting, his bare chest heaving with breath. Probably more out of shock than exertion, you figured.

Turning your gaze down to the one pinned beneath you, you held the gun steady, “Who do you work for?”

The man smiled up at you, his teeth full of blood, “You’ll have to kill me,”

“Okay,” You said simply, moving the barrel of your gun to his shoulder and pulling the trigger. 

The invader let out a strangled cry of pain at the nonfatal injury, his body writhing beneath you. 

“Let’s try this again,” You gritted out, pushing the gun closer to his chin, “You tell me who you work for, or the next shot goes into your brain.”

“He’ll kill me for telling you,” The man nearly sobbed.

“Who’s he?” Bucky growled, staring down at the attacker mercilessly. When he didn’t respond, you clenched your jaw.

“Either die now for not telling us, or die later with a chance of making it away. Your choice.” Your words rang through the room as both you and Bucky stared down this terrified intruder. A pang of sympathy ran through you that was quickly smothered because in the end, he had come after Bucky.

And for some reason, that made your vision bleed red.

“Kingpin,” He finally cried, his eyes shut as his blood seeped into Bucky’s floor, “Kingpin sent us to silence the Winter Soldier.”

You had to fight to keep the shock from your features long enough to whip the butt of your gun across the blubbering man’s face and knock him out. Once he was silent beneath you, you stood slowly and looked over to Bucky. His jaw was clenched and his eyes holding that same haunted look they often did.

“I had a run-in with Kingpin as the Winter Soldier,” Bucky muttered, his eyes trained down on the floor where the four intruders were, “I managed to get past his defenses, tore through them like paper. What I found nearly sent him to prison for good if Hydra hadn't cut him a deal.” 

The words broke over you, making your mind whir, “So if he’s coming after you now, after all this time,” 

Bucky looks up at you, his blue eyes nearly knocking your bravado out, “Then that means he’s got something going on he wants to make sure no one finds out about.”

You took a moment to process the implications. Kingpin had something big going down, not that he didn’t always, but now it was more personal. Now, it involved Bucky, which meant it involved you. 

“I’ll get this mess cleaned up,” Bucky sighed, running a hand through his short, dark hair, “Go back to your apartment.”

That was it? Not so much as a thank you?

You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest, “That’s one way to thank someone who just saved your ass.”

“You didn’t save anything,” Bucky gritted out, taking a step closer to you in that intimidating way you found he often liked to, “If you hadn’t come by, I still would have woken up and taken those guys easily.”

“Are you kidding me?” You exclaimed, gesturing around to the mess, “I had two of those guys out before you were even fully awake, Barnes! Just admit I helped you,”

He was so close to you that you could barely reach out and you would be touching his bare skin. The temptation was strong, stronger than you’d like to admit. It was like he was a magnet and you a compass, and for the life of you, even when you wanted nothing more than to run away from him, you couldn’t stop yourself from being led right back into him. 

“I said it before, and I’ll say it again,” Bucky muttered, his voice low and making your stomach take a sudden swirl. “I don’t need your help.”

His eyes darted down to your lips, and then lower before returning to your gaze. It was then that you became fully aware of your lack of pants. Your cheeks heated slightly and you felt your stomach go taut from his attention, but you clenched your jaw and held your place.

“Clearly, you do,” You echoed back to him, refusing to back down. After staring off at him for a few more moments, you let out a frustrated groan and stepped back, snapping the tension in the room as you shoved your way to the door. 

“Why do I even bother with you?” You gritted, stepping over a body, “I got up in the middle of the night and risked my life to help you and I don’t get so much as a-”

“Thanks,”

Bucky’s voice was so quiet that you almost missed it, but you had heard it. You froze in your tracks, your body going still except for your speeding heart as you slowly turned back around.

“What?” You whispered, unbelieving what he had just said. Bucky shot you a pointed glare, but let out a long sigh, some of the anger draining from his face. He looked tired, so incredibly tired.

“Thank you,” He repeated, the words cutting straight through your anger, “I know I can be difficult, it’s just…I’m not…”

He struggled with the words, his voice no longer flooded with frustration or annoyance. You spent a moment peering at the soldier, taking in the fact that he indeed had slept on the floor and noting the dog tags that hung around his throat. 

Bucky Barnes was haunted by his past. So haunted, you guessed, that he was shoving away everyone in his life to make sure nothing bad could happen again. You still were infuriated by him, but you couldn’t say that you hated him. 

In fact, you couldn’t begin to think if you ever really did. Or if maybe that hate was just a cover for the growing attraction you felt towards him, for the…

Ridiculous, you scolded yourself. 

“It’s okay,” You finally announced, your words softer than you intended them to be, “I get it.”

Somehow, you found yourself offering him a sad, soft smile that made the hard edges of his face soften. 

“You’re a lone wolf, I get that.” Your words made his jaw twitch, “And I’m not gonna tell you how to heal. You already know that answer. So, when the time comes that you’re ready to not do all this alone anymore, I’ll be right next door.”

Something changed deep within Bucky’s gaze, something that would have made you stay if you didn’t turn and walk towards the door. As you did, you felt the thumping of your heart. Your words had not just been an offer of help for this Kingpin situation. No, they had been more. An offer of help for anything, and you hadn’t realized you had meant them until they had come out.

Now you were left wondering for the rest of the night when exactly you had stopped hating Bucky Barnes.

And why you had the suspicion that you never hated him at all.

|||

As the dawn broke the next morning, so did your common sense. 

No matter how magnetizing Barnes was, you had to keep your distance unless your mission directly required you to get close. You didn’t know how deep your…not hatred…ran, but you weren’t willing to find out. It could compromise this mission, and most dangerous of all, it could compromise Bucky.

You had to keep your head in the game. So, the next week or so was packed with you spending the day actively avoiding Barnes in the same way you had purposely collided with him at first. During the nights, you poured over documents and case files concerning Kingpin. You tracked his movements, hunted down where his men crawled back to after their missions, watched his cover businesses with a close, keen eye.

Kingpin was an intimidating mobster and could rule his forces with an iron fist of fear, but he wasn’t necessarily the brightest businessman. He was good at covering his illegal tracks, but not great. That was why you were able to catch the whispers around the upcoming charity gala a local socialite was hosting. 

Word was, Kingpin and his men would be at the gala to finish working out a business deal with an associate. The same business deal, you suspected, that had him lashing out at not just Bucky, but several other known adversaries to his empire across the whole of New York. 

So if Kingpin would be there, so would you.

As you finished getting ready for the gala and stood in front of your mirror to make sure everything was perfect, your mind strayed to the super soldier next door. You hadn’t seen him in over a week, not since that night where you saved his life. Even now, his apartment was silent.

You let out a long sigh and adjusted the contours of your dress and felt for the weapons beneath it. The floor-length number was deceiving to anyone with a keen eye, exposing parts of you that would normally hide weapons. Your thigh on your dominant side was almost fully exposed with a slit, and your bodice provided no way to get to a weapon if it was stored there. 

You were a professional, though. Where you hid your weapons, no one would see until it was too late.

As you made your way out of your apartment, being sure to take the stairs this time, and then climbed into the ride you had waiting for you outside, your mind played through a million different ways this night could go. 

Best case would be you catching wind of whatever business had Kingpin so wound up with no altercations in the meantime. Worst case…well, let’s hope you didn’t have to use those weapons you so painstakingly hid.

After a drive that wasn’t long enough, you clambered out into the star-lit, diamond-encrusted evening. The event hall was elegant as you walked in, decked in lavender and silver and crawling with New York’s most elite. In a crowd like this, you knew it would not be hard to find a man as large as Kingpin. 

The longer you spent canvasing the gala, the more your worst case scenario started to play out in your head. As you had feared, Kingpin wasn’t here, not that you could see. Odds were, he sent someone in his place to do the negotiating. Now you had to find some way of finding that-

You gasped as your shoulder bumped right into a firm chest. You had been so busy scanning the room that you hadn’t been looking where you were walking. A warm, calloused hand gripped onto your elbow to keep you stable, and the way the touch made your brain fog should have been an indicator of who this man was. 

But you did not think of it until you glanced up, “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t…what are you doing here?”

As your gaze connected with Bucky Barnes, you saw the same flash of disbelief and then annoyance run through his crystal blue eyes.

“Are you serious, doll? You can’t even give me one night out without following me?” Bucky muttered lowly, his hand still around your elbow, holding you close. 

Your chest skipped at that word, that nickname he had called you, but you ignored it and glared right back up at the man, “You know, and this may come as a shock to you, but not everything in my life revolves around following you,”

Bucky scoffed, tilting his head at you. Suddenly, you were fighting to overcome how stunning he was in the all black suit that he wore. His alluring gaze seemed to draw you in again, and you knew you had to get away from him. 

“I wasn’t born yesterday, sweetheart.” Bucky assured, his tone like pure narcotics to your soul.

You let out a short laugh, “Trust me, I know.”

He shook his head, licking his bottom lip as he held your arm and started pulling you towards the exit, “It’s time for you to go.”

“Hey, you cannot just tell me what to do!” You muttered, pulling your arm from his grasp and coming to an abrupt halt. He gritted his jaw as he turned and looked down to you, but you beat him to the punch.

“If you’re here for the same reason as me, then Kingpin’s men are out here somewhere carrying out a business deal that could be huge. This could be our only chance to stop it.”

“Our?” Bucky repeated, and you stared at him indignantly.

“That’s what you caught from all of that?” You exclaimed, huffing out a breath, “Look, whatever is happening is big. If we don’t stop him, who will?”

“I said before, stay out of this. Go back to Langley and report your mission as a success, and leave me alone. These men are dangerous, don’t make this your fight.” Bucky’s words weren’t as angry as before, there was something in them, something almost desperate. 

You held his gaze, taking a step closer, “Trust me, sweetheart, I’ve dealt with plenty of dangerous men.”

“Oh yeah?” Bucky asked, almost taunting you as he cocked his head at you. 

Your heart was racing, your skin was on fire and he wasn’t even touching you. Maybe leaving was the best idea.

You caught something out of the side of your vision, and looked over towards the dance floor. There you saw one of Kingpin’s associates you’d been tracking all week step out onto the dance floor with a woman you’d never seen before. As he pulled her into a waltz, you knew immediately that this was a business dance, not pleasure. 

“There, 11 o’clock,” You whispered, turning your gaze back to Bucky as his gaze flitted towards the direction you gaze. He nodded once.

“That’s them,” He agreed.

“Come on,” You urged, grabbing his hand and tugging him towards the dance floor.

“Woah, woah, I don’t dance,” Bucky protested, but let you pull him nonetheless. You cracked a half-smile as you looked back at Bucky, and you noticed the way something in his gaze shifted at the sight of your smile.

“Well tonight you do.” 

As you pulled Bucky out into the slow dance alongside a few dozen other couples, you noticed the way his lips tipped up ever so slightly. The sight of that smile…it made your heart miss more than a few beats. 

As the two of you joined the fray, Bucky tugged you into him so swiftly that you let out a gasp. Expertly, he guided one hand to the small of your back and grabbed your hand with the other. In a matter of moments, the two of you were dancing, and you looked back up at the soldier in wonder.

“I thought you said you don’t dance,” You mused. Bucky smiled, then turned his gaze to you.

“I don’t, doesn’t mean I can’t,” He informed. 

In that moment, with your hand in his gloved metal one and him smiling down at you like that…it was enough to make you forget anything before this, before now, before him. The two of you danced, and for a moment both of you forgot why you’d joined the dance floor in the first place. Forgotten was business and missions and danger, the only thing left in the world was his hands on you as you danced. 

You could hardly breathe as he led you around the dance floor, and you certainly couldn’t take your eyes off of his. You weren’t smiling anymore, but neither was he. You didn’t smile because you knew. In that moment, held in his arms and dancing like the two of you had been practicing this step your entire life, like you had been made to dance together, you knew.

You knew that no matter what unfolded in the days and weeks to come, whatever became of this mission, Bucky Barnes had ruined you. For no longer could you dance with anyone else. Not when you knew this, knew him. 

He had ruined you in this moment, and for the first time in your life you understood why the Moon never left its orbit. The Moon was so enthralled with catching even a glimpse of the Sun that it was willing to bear the black of night if that’s what it took to bear the Sun’s rays.

Bucky Barnes had ruined you, and now you could never leave your orbit either. 

“Doll, I-”

Whatever Bucky was going to say died as the two of you suddenly found yourselves dancing right beside Kingpin’s associate. That was the snap to reality that you needed, and you forced out1 the outrageous thoughts that had been plaguing you. 

Thinking quickly, you pulled out of Bucky’s hold and stepped closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and resting your head on his shoulder. This position let you inconspicuously listen in to what it was that the associate was saying to his business partner, and Bucky quickly caught on as he brought his hands to your waist and held you close. 

You’d like to say that eavesdropping was the only reason you did this, but you’d be lying. Being held by him set your skin on fire, as if you’d been touched by lightning and survived. You needed this, you craved this, with his hands on your waist and his breath on your neck. But you had to focus right now, you had to hear what the associate was saying. 

You forced your brain to switch into operative mode, forcing yourself to focus only on the conversation beside you.

“-depending on how much your boss is willing to pay. Timeliness like that is going to be extra,” The woman spoke. 

“Money is not an issue, trust me,” The associate assured.

“Well then,” The woman responded, sounding pleased, “1.5 for the weapons and an extra 1 for the time bump. Do we have a deal?”

There was a pause, a consideration. Your heart sped up more than it was already racing. Weapons. An arms deal that Kingpin would no doubt use to spread onto the streets, to put a tighter noose around the neighborhoods he already kept under his thumb. And over two million dollars just for weapons? This was the biggest deal you’d seen up close. This could plunge New York into a deeper chaos than it already was.

“An even 2 and we have a deal,” The associate managed out, his tone taut.

“Then I will see you next week. And your boss had better be there, or the deal’s off,” The woman spoke with finality. And then there was silence, nothing but the waltz and the normal clamor of the gala.

Pulling back, you turned your gaze up to Bucky, whose gaze burned down on you with a certain clarity to his blue eyes. 

“Got it?” He mumbled. You nodded, your eyes wide with excitement. 

Smoothly, Bucky led you right off of the dance floor, offering his arm to you. You took it, making sure the two of you were walking in the direction opposite the associate. When you were mixed enough in the crowd, you spoke quietly, your tone flooded with vigor.

“Sometime next week, two million for an arms deal,” You informed. Bucky let out a sharp breath, his gaze forward just like yours as the two of you walked.

“A trade that big…”

“I know,” You whispered in response, your heart thundering. You stopped walking, pulling Bucky to look at you, “I could figure out a day, time, and place. Then, together we could crash their party with an army of SWAT and CIA hiding out nearby. We could keep two mill worth of weapons off the streets and put away Kingpin for a while.”

Bucky turned his gaze from you, his jaw clenched. You furrowed your brows up at the man, you were so sure he would be all over this mission. So why did he have that look in his eye? 

Without looking down at you, Bucky finally spoke, “Like I said, there’s no we. I’m taking you back to the apartment and that’s where you’re gonna stay until this is over.”

You flinched back, so struck by his sudden change in demeanor that a shot of pain went through your chest. How could he be so cold after what happened on that dance floor? You couldn’t have been the only one to feel that…

“I don’t understand,” You breathed, indignation rising in your chest, “Don’t you want to take out Kingpin?”

“I do,” Bucky responded, finally looking down to you with that cold, shut-off look in his gaze that you knew all too well, “But not with you. You’re going home.”

He let go of you and turned, walking towards the exit of the gala. Sputtering, you followed after him, storming behind him into the brisk night. 

“Are you kidding me?” You exclaimed as he gave the valet his ticket and they ran off to grab his car, “What happened to working together? This is my mission, Bucky and I’m not just going to give up on it.”

Bucky turned on you, his gaze boiling with something that wasn’t quiet anger, but felt a lot like it, “I don’t want your help. I don’t need your help. Stay out of this one.”

You could see the valet bringing up the car and you knew that once we were inside, he would shut down. This was your last chance. 

“Whether you want my help or not, you are getting it! It is my mission to keep you safe, Bucky and I’m not letting you do this alone.”

Bucky shook his head at you, muttering something about you being impossible as he caught his keys as the valet threw them to him. He sauntered up to the car, opening the door and gesturing for you to get in. Cheeks hot with anger, you stormed up and got in the car, adjusting your dress as he shut the door and walked around to the driver’s seat.

Just as you predicted, the ride back to the apartments was silent. 

You knew what he was doing. He thought this was too dangerous, and he didn’t want you involved. That night in his apartment, you had seen how guarded he was to keep people from getting close. That dance, that had pushed the line and now he was not going to let you get into this mission. Frustration boiled up within you, and halfway through the drive, you finally exploded.

“This is bullshit!” You suddenly exclaimed, and you caught the way Bucky’s hands tightened on the steering wheel.

“We’re not doing this,” He muttered.

“Like hell we aren’t,” You fired back, turning to look at him even if he kept his eyes on the road, “I know why you’re banning me from this mission and I get it, I do. But-”

“You don’t know anything,” Bucky cut in, his voice low and almost menacing. 

You laughed without humor, slowly losing your control, “You are impossible, impossible!”

Turning forward again, you raked your hands through your hair, “You are so difficult. One day you’re gonna need someone, and if you keep shoving people that care for you away, you’re gonna have no one!”

The car screeched to a sudden halt.

Your stomach dropped as you looked around the surprisingly quiet street, your heart thudding.

“What are you-”

“Get out.” Bucky gritted.

Your heart sank instantly. You looked over at him in astonishment, your eyes wide, “What?”

“Get. Out.” Bucky repeated, not even looking at you, “Walk home.”

“That’s like four miles from here, and I’m in heels!” You exclaimed. Bucky’s jaw tightened.

“You’re CIA, you’ll figure it out.”

Your heart slammed in your chest, and the words you had spit at him moments prior burned in your chest. You had crossed a line, and you knew it. You felt it, “Bucky, I’m sorry. I–”

“Get out of this car before I pull you out myself.” There was hurt in his eyes, and it made you want to die.

You had both said things to hurt the other, had both wounded each other. 

As you stepped out of the car and into the night air, you realized that people could only be hurt by someone who held at least a part of them. And as you shut your door and Bucky peeled away into the night, you felt a piece of you go with him. 

Swallowing thickly, you shook your head and pulled out your phone. You were already searching up a ride to take you to your apartment, but you walked as you did it. The cool night air was refreshing in a way, and you let out a long sigh, putting your phone down and looking around at the near-empty streets. 

What had gone so wrong?

And so, you decided against calling a ride. Instead, you turned into a nearby, warm-looking bar and sat, drinking away your sorrows and working up the courage to make the long, lonely walk home.

|||

You were within a half-mile of your apartment, and you still hadn’t sorted through the storm in your mind.

 All you knew was that this was more than a mission, and it had been for a long while. 

“I gave you one job, and you couldn’t even accomplish it. One simple job.”

Your feet stalled, your head suddenly going quiet. You knew that voice. And, as you took one step closer to the alley that it poured out of and peered inside, what you saw confirmed it.

Kingpin. 

In your muddled haze of a walk, you’d forgotten that one of Kingpin’s cover businesses was on the way back to your apartment. Now here you were, just around the corner of the mobster himself. Your eyes took in his massive frame hovering over a quivering man. A man that looked awfully familiar…

You managed to stifle your gasp as you recognized it as the man that gave Kingpin up to you and Bucky when he’d broken into Bucky’s apartment.

“I’m s-sorry boss, there was two of ‘em. I was lucky to make it out alive,” The man stammered. Kingpin hummed.

“You’re right, that is lucky,” He grabbed the man by his collar and hoisted him off of his feet, easily holding him in mid-air, “So tell me, what exactly did you give up to them to save yourself?”

“N-nothing boss! I would never give you or the operation up, never! I’m loyal,” The man pleaded.

You should go. You should hurry past and keep walking. But you just couldn’t, not when the man himself was standing right there and he might give up information on the arms deal you’d caught wind of. 

Kingpin set the man back onto his feet and smoothed out the man’s collar, “I believe you.”

The man nearly sobbed, “Thank you boss, thank you.”

“But just an insurance policy,” Kingpin said, then motioned with one hand into the darkness of the alley. Two burly guards stepped forward, armed to the teeth. 

“Kill him,” Kingpin spoke smoothly, then stepped back and held his hands together as the man begged and pleaded. Your heart thundered in your chest as the gunshot from one of the guards into the man rang through you, making you flinch slightly. 

When the job was done, Kingpin walked up to his guards, “Filch reported back from the gala. Said he got the deal moved up to next Saturday. Make sure the streets stay quiet. We can’t let it get out.”

“Sure thing, boss,” The guard nodded.

Next Saturday, that gave you eight days. A smile tugged onto your lips and you were just about to move past the alley when a set of burly, vile hands closed around your shoulders. 

“Well look what we’ve got here, a little birdie listening in.” The man purred, and your stomach sank to the floor. 

You had to get away, and you had to do it now. You thrashed against the man’s hold, slipping your hand towards where you’d hidden a small but lethal knife. Kingpin couldn’t know that you’d heard. He couldn’t know. Your hand was inches from the knife when another one of Kingpin’s men came around the corner and grabbed your wrists in a bruising grip, yanking them in front of you. 

“Hello there, pretty bird,” He greeted, and together the two men began to drag you into the alley. Sudden, blinding panic slammed into you and you knew instantly what you had to do. 

If you pulled a weapon and beat the shit out of these guys like you knew you could, Kingpin would know you’d heard him and were someone to be worried about. Your best chance at making it out of this not only alive, but with the deal still set for next Saturday, you had to play dumb. You had to be a regular citizen, an innocent bystander scared of getting mugged. 

And so you did.

You turned your anger into fear that wasn’t totally falsified, and you thrashed in the men’s grips.

“Please, let me go!” You begged, “You can take my money, my wallet, anything you want! Please!”

They’d gotten you into the alley by now, and darkness wrapped around you as Kingpin himself heard your cries. He paused, looking back at you and tilting his head curiously. Your pulse thundered so fast that you thought you’d faint. 

“What’s going on here?” Kingpin asked, slowly walking up to you, towering over you even when he was a few feet away.

“Caught this pretty lady walking by, looking like she wanted to come say hello,” One of the men presented.

The smell of the alley nearly made you gag, the fabric of your dress already soiled at the bottom from the puddles of unknown liquid. Real fear was pulsing through you, and you let it. You shoved down the instincts drilled into you from your time in the CIA and let yourself be a citizen, a bystander in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“Please, you can have my jewelry, my money, anything you want,” You insisted, your eyes filling with tears that weren’t entirely fake. 

“We’re not muggers,” Kingpin responded, his tone curious as he took you in, “What are you doing out here all alone, little bird?”

“My Uber canceled on me and I had to walk home from my party, please I don’t know what’s going on!” You trembled out. 

Kingpin studied you closely, then tilted his head and said to the men holding you, “Search her,”

Panic was constricting your chest, and you shivered as the men began patting you down. You had to clench your firsts to keep from breaking one of their noses when one stayed a little longer than necessary on your breasts. There was a small breath of relief when they both stood back, having found none of your hidden weapons.

“She’s clean.”

Kingpin cracked a half smile and reached forward. You flinched back as much as the men holding you would allow, but that wasn’t enough. He grabbed ahold of one of your fists, raising it up to inspect. He looked back up at you, his gaze amused.

“You’re angry,” Kingpin mused, a smile ticking onto his lips, “You’ve got more fight in you then you’re letting on.” “Well ladies with fight who are dragged into alleyways don’t usually last long, do they?” You managed out, your eyes daring to meet his. To your surprise, he laughed.

“Let her go, boys. We’ve terrified her enough.” 

You almost sobbed in relief when the men holding you let go. It worked. He was letting you go, he didn’t know. He didn’t-

That’s when you made your first and only mistake. You let your eyes travel the alley for a moment. But that moment, no matter how short, was enough. You saw the dead body of the man who had just been shot. 

And Kingpin knew it.

He glanced back towards the body, then slowly back to you. 

“Oh little bird, why’d you have to go and do that? I was really starting to like you,” He sighed.

Terror like you’d never known gripped you suddenly. Dread, real and cold pierced into your belly. You began to shake your head.

“No, no please I won’t tell anyone. I didn’t see anything. I didn’t-”

His massive hand gripped your jaw, cutting you off. You trembled terribly as he held your jaw and just peered at you, seeming to test you.

Finally, finally, he said, “I believe you.”

You sighed, but barely had a moment to breathe when he repeated those damned words from before, “But just as an insurance policy,”

He stepped back, letting you go and then gesturing to his men.

“Rough her up. Don’t kill her, just show her what’s gonna happen if she does decide to tell,” Kingpin stepped back into the dark alley, a smile starting on his lips, “Which I don’t think she will. Good night, little bird.”

“Wait,” You shook, glanced around at his goons who now surrounded you, “Wait, please,”

You had taken beatings before, you could do this. You could do this.

“Boss’s orders,” One shrugged, then crashed his fist into your jaw.

Then the onslaught began, and you let it happen. You let them beat you, let them kick you so hard you thought ribs cracked, let them bust your lip and bruise your cheek. You could have them all dead in moments, but you let it happen. You’d made it this far without blowing the mission to hell, you couldn’t give yourself away now. 

So you stayed there on the alley floor, and you took it.

|||

By the time you finally made it to your apartment and stumbled up the stairs, you could barely stand.

Your head was spinning as you struggled to get your keys into the door. By the time you finally did, you shouldered your way in and didn’t even bother closing the door. You could barely think, barely see, barely feel anything besides the pain.

You’d taken worse beatings, sure, but it didn’t make this one hurt any less. Your breathing was labored as each breath made shooting pain pierce through your rib cage. Your dress was ripped and bloody and covered in filth from the alley floor. All you could taste was blood from the lip one of the men had split, and you were sure that if anyone were to see you, you’d look more like a walking corpse than anything else.

You stumbled over to your kitchen bar, gripping onto the surface for stability as you dropped your phone and clutch onto it. Your legs trembled from the effort of standing, and you didn’t even bother to switch the light on considering that would require more walking. All you wanted was to gather your strength, make it to your bathroom, and get all of this blood off of you. 

Then you’d sleep for as long as your body would let you.

At least, that was the plan until there was a knock on your slightly open door. 

You didn’t even have the strength to speak as the person pushed open the door and walked a few steps into your dark, silent apartment.

“Y/N, I know I’m probably the last person you want to talk to right now, but…” Bucky paused, and the sound of his voice nearly made you sob. More than anything, more than even a bath or sleep, you wanted him to hold you. You were too tired to question the impulse.

Bucky sighed, and you could practically hear the indecision in his tone, “I turned around as soon as I forced you out, but I couldn’t find you. I’ve been pacing the entire night waiting for you to come back. I overreacted and…and I’m sorry.”

He’d gone back for you. He’d looked for you. 

Your heart burned, and tears you didn’t fight worsened your already blurry vision.

You wanted to turn and run to him, you wanted to hold him and tell him that it was alright, that you were sorry too. But you couldn’t. If you let go of this counter, you’d collapse, and you knew that if you hit this floor, you weren’t getting back up tonight. 

“You were just trying to help me, and I have such a hard time taking help and an even harder time letting people in and,” Bucky stopped with a sigh, cutting off his rant, “I’m stumbling through this, could you please just turn around and say something?”

If you weren’t on the brink of passing out, you’d laugh. 

Bucky let out a frustrated huff, “I’m apologizing here, are you even listening?”

You opened your mouth to speak, but blood came out instead and you let out a short cough. 

“Fine,” Bucky gritted, clearly trying to hold back his emotion, “I’ll just…leave you be.”

Panic disrupted your pain and you managed to brace your weight with one hand on the counter and turn towards where Bucky was already walking towards your door. He couldn’t leave. You needed him.

“Bucky,” You strangled out, your voice exhausted, “W-wait,”

Bucky froze, his gaze turning back to you with his brows furrowed. That’s when the light of the hallway broke upon you, and his eyes widened in horror as he saw the blood and dirt and bruises. 

You heard him say your name like a vow, but then the world began to spin and you were collapsing. 

You barely felt the thud of the floor as you slammed against it, your body bloody and broken and giving up for the night. You heard the pounding of footsteps, felt the floor tremble as Bucky slid to his knees beside you. His hands were so gentle, so heart-breakingly gentle, as he lightly touched your bruised cheek. You watched through a blurred gaze as he kneeled over you, his jaw tight and his eyes wild. 

“You’re okay, doll, I got you. I got you,” Bucky promised, ever so tenderly pulling your broken body into his lap. He cradled your head with his hand, his eyes sweeping over you to take in the extent of your injuries.

“Shit,” He swore, shaking his head, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,”

“Not your fault,” You managed, a tear slipping down your cheek.

Bucky shook his head, his jaw clenched so tight that you saw his muscles ticking. His breaths were shallow as he caressed a finger down your cheek before gathering you in his arms as gently as he could. You groaned in pain as he stood, holding you close to himself with ease. But even despite the pain, he was holding you, and that was something you never thought you’d feel again.

“I know baby, I know,” He whispered, his words soothing you through the pain. He carried you out of your apartment, careful to close the door before carrying you into his place. You felt your consciousness slipping now that you were safe. You actually had never felt safer than when you were here, in his arms. 

Bucky set you down on his counter, the cool material taking the edge off of the aching of your body. Before he could clean you up or bandage anything, Bucky stood close to you, his hand staying on your cheek. You leaned into it, knowing you wouldn’t have if you weren’t half-asleep right now.

“Doll, I need you to look at me,” Bucky urged, a cold, ferocious tone to his voice that you didn’t think was for you. You managed to pry your eyes open and clash your gaze with his. In it was a cold fury, “Who did this to you?”

“Kingpin’s men,” You mumbled, and Bucky stiffened, “I caught…word of the deal, but he…he saw me. Only way to…to not blow it was to…to-”

“Play the bystander,” Bucky finished for you, and you nodded. Bucky shook his head, “You stupid, brave girl.”

You managed a smile, but the movement pulled at the split in your lip and made you wince. 

“You can sleep now, doll. I’ve got you,” Bucky whispered. You nodded, letting your eyes flutter closed. You felt his hand caress your cheek, his fingers lingering on your skin.

Then, in the near dark of sleep, Bucky let out a defeated sigh.

“Oh darling,” He sighed, then there was a press of a kiss to your brow and whispered words against your skin, “How the hell am I supposed to let you go when this is all over?”

|||

“Bucky?”

Your voice rang through Bucky’s apartment, amusement heavy in your tone. He hummed in response, his back to you as he slaved away at his small stove.

Before you already sat a fresh coffee, eggs, toast, and fruit. You couldn’t help but smile. The movement pulled at your healing lip, but it didn’t hurt anymore.

“It’s been two days. You don’t have to keep apologizing,” You called out. Bucky turned around to you, holding a pan in one hand.

“I’m just making breakfast,” He tried, but you just raised an eyebrow at him. With a sigh, Bucky set down the pan, and walked over to the counter, settling his hands down on the other side of where you sat.

“Y/N, you didn’t see what I did that night,” Bucky mumbled, not meeting your gaze, “If you could have seen how you looked, all that blood…”

Your heart strung in your chest. You slept nearly an entire day after the incident, and then spent the next day being fussed over by Bucky. You had a few bruised ribs and some nasty shiners, but nothing serious luckily. In all that time, the two of you had avoided the subject of that night besides the both of you apologizing to the other profusely.

“Buck, listen to me,” You whispered, his pained gaze finally rising to yours, “That was a heated night, we both did and said things we didn’t mean. We apologized for that, it’s behind us. But what happened to me in that alley,”

You paused hesitating only a moment before you threw caution to the wind and reached across the counter, grabbing his hand. His metal hand. His eyes widened a fraction and something changed in his gaze, something that made your heart miss a step.

“What happened to me in that alley was not your fault. That one was all me,” You insisted. Bucky squeezed your hand, the cool metal soothing your skin.

“But if I had just kept you in the car, if I hadn’t overreacted like that-”

“Then we wouldn’t know when the deal was going down,” You reasoned, “And if I were you, I would have kicked me out of the car too.”

Bucky let out a low laugh, shaking his head. His thumb ran across your skin absentmindedly, making your mind muddle, “Fine.”

You raised your eyebrows, a smile dancing on your lips “So does that mean we can move on? Not that I mind you making me breakfast.”

“Don’t push your luck, doll,” Bucky warned, a smile tugging at his lips. Letting go of your hand, he walked around the counter and into his living room, walking over to his coffee table where two files sat. You swiveled around on the barstool, watching him curiously.

As if he felt your gaze, Bucky spoke again, “While you were getting your beauty sleep in, I found where the arms deal is going down. So, if we’re gonna crash that party, we better start planning.”

A thrill went through you, and you sat up straighter. You watched as he turned and walked back to you with the files in his hand. Sure enough, he handed you one of them. You opened the front, seeing the page filled with information on Kingpin, his empire, and the arms deal. You looked up at Bucky with wide, bright eyes.

“We?” You taunted. Bucky rolled his eyes, grabbing the front of your file.

“I can still take this back,” He warned. You smiled, pulling it back towards you and out of his grasp. His grumpy demeanor didn’t scare you, nor did it frustrate you like it did before. 

“Too late,” You said sweetly, looking up at him as he stood before your seated frame. He shook his head at you, a half smile he tried to hide on his lips as he stepped back. 

“Alright CIA,” Bucky announced, flipping open his file, “Show me what you got.”

|||

It was Saturday night, and the air was thick with anticipation. 

You and Bucky sat in his car, staking out the trainyard where the arms deal was set to be going down. The walkie set before you crackled to life.

“How’s it looking?” Sam Wilson asked. You smiled at the sound of his voice, happy to have him here. Once you briefed him on what was happening, he just had to have a piece of it.

“Nothing so far,” You replied, your eyes sweeping across the darkened yard packed with parked trains, “We’ve still got some time, though.”

“I have RedWing watching from the skies, so I’ll keep you posted,” Sam informed.

“I hate that damn thing,” Bucky grumbled. You pressed your lips together to keep from laughing.

“What was that?” Sam asked. 

“Nothing,” You answered, putting your hand over Bucky’s mouth just as he’s about to repeat his statement, “Tell RedWing we said thank you!”

As soon as the radio went quiet, Bucky pulled off your hand, staring at you in indignation. 

“You are getting too comfortable with me,” He gritted. You shrugged, trying not to look too smug.

“Someone’s gotta keep you in line,” You quipped. Bucky was grumbling under his breath about something, and you were just about to ask him about it when something caught your eye in the distance. You sat up, pointing towards the left side of the yard.

“There,” You announced, your tone serious, “You see it?”

Bucky leaned forward, following the direction you were pointing. He nodded, reaching forward and grabbing the walkie.

“Sam, two SUVs rolling in. You got ‘em?” 

“I see them,” Sam responded, his voice all business, “Looks like it's the dealers. The weapons are probably stashed in one of the train cars somewhere. I’ll run a scan, you guys get out there.”

“Will do, comms going in,” Bucky replied.

The two of you slipped the comm links into your ears, checking your respective guns before exiting the car. You both jogged towards the first train car parked in the massive yard, getting cover as fast as possible.

“Be advised, the dealers have associates fanning out through the trainyard.” Sam’s voice crackled through the comm.

“Copy,” You spoke softly, your back pressed against the train, “We’ll take care of it.”

Looking over to Bucky, you nodded once at him before he led the way, gun raised as he cleared the corner. The two of you worked systematically through the yard. Sweeping out slowly in search of the associates. This place was a maze, making it ideal for deals like this. If you wanted a chance at taking the op down, you had to get these guards out.

You and Bucky paused at a break in the train, and this time you led as you inched forward and checked the corner. Seeing a guard standing watch at the corner, you pulled back and looked at Bucky. Without even having to say a word, you and Bucky worked together as if you’d been doing it for years. 

You crouched down, holstering your gun and slipping out a knife. You took a beat to breathe before you slid forward, around the corner. The noise made the guard swivel her head, but she made the mistake of not looking down. With the deadly sharp knife, you made it to her feet before she noticed you.

Then, you whistled. A quiet, simple tone. With furrowed brows, she looked down to see you, crouched by her feet with a knife. Her brows rose and she opened her mouth to alert someone, but Bucky was on her, his hand around her mouth. That’s when you struck, slicing the tendon at the back of her heel. 

Bucky’s hand muffled her scream as she dropped, and you stood in response, landing a killer blow across her temple and knocking her out. When the scuffle was over, the trainyard was silent. With a breathless smile, you looked up to Bucky.

“We make a pretty good team,” You whispered. He shot you a pointed look.

“I don’t do teams.”

You followed him as walked past the downed guard, a smirk tugging at your lips, “That’s right. You’re a lone wolf.”

Bucky stopped in his gait, nearly making you run into him. He turned and shot a glare at you, one that let you know you were getting under his skin. You held your hands up, showing him you were backing off the subject. He shook his head at you and kept walking. 

“You do make a good team,” Sam intervened, making you smile triumphantly.

“Sam, I swear-” Bucky began, but you darted up, covering his mouth with your hand to silence him. He saw the guard rounding the corner a second after you did. Luckily, the guard hadn’t seen you.

Not yet, at least.

Thinking quickly, Bucky grabbed you by the waist and hoisted you up into the opening of a nearby, darkened train car. You landed inside silently and turned, waiting for Bucky who jumped in a second later. Swiveling his gaze around, he noticed the same problem you did. 

The car was full of weapons. The weapons.

Not only did this endanger the both of you should the deal start soon, it also left little room for you to hide. Bucky solved that issue swiftly as he turned and urged you against a stack of explosives, his body pressed against yours instantly, caging you into the darkness and making sure the two of you were invisible.

Or, you realized with a start, making sure you were invisible. 

You could see just far enough to look up and see Bucky peering down at you. His body was against yours, and his face was so near to yours that you could move half an inch and your lips would be touching. His pine and whiskey scent washed over you, intoxicating you, making you forget for a moment where you were. 

Bucky seemed to do the same as his hand moved from beside your hand and he swept a thumb against your cheek. Lightning scattered across your skin where he touched, and you nearly forgot how to breathe. 

You wanted to kiss him. You needed to kiss him. 

Bucky’s eyes were darting between your lips and gaze, and your heart thundered in your chest. You were sure he could feel it with your bodies pressed so tightly together, and the uptick of the edge of his lips told you he did. Your lips itched in anticipation, burning even as they were kept apart from his. 

Bucky’s hand moved from your cheek down to rest against your throat, just as it did that day in your kitchen all those months ago. You knew that he did it to get a better feel of your pulse, and your cheeks heated in response. His lips were nearly touching yours and his hand was on your neck and you thought you might faint.

He was totally in control of you, and he knew it.

With a half-smirk that made your knees nearly buckle he whispered, “Do I always make you this nervous?”

You wanted to banter back, to shoot a petty insult at him, but you couldn’t think of anything but his lips on yours. You wanted it so badly, and you could tell Bucky did too because the hand that wasn’t on your throat was clenched tightly, as if he was restraining himself. You nudged your chin up a fraction, stopping just short of his lips, leaving the decision up to him. Bucky moved, and when his lips were almost touching yours-

“I found the weapons,” Sam’s voice poured out of RedWing, who sat hovering right in front of you and Bucky. 

You and Bucky jolted apart, the coast clear from the guard and the both of you coughing or clearing your throat.

“What?” Sam asked, his tone taunting, “Did I interrupt something?”

“Sam, if RedWing doesn’t fly away I’m gonna break it,” Bucky threatened lowly. 

“What, are you mad that he’s c-”

Bucky lunged for RedWing, who turned and flew away just in time. You couldn’t help but smile, struggling to hold in your laughter as Bucky turned and shook his head, clearly wound up. When he saw the look on his face he pointed a finger in your direction.

“Not a word,” He commanded. 

“Yes sir,” You teased, shoving his shoulder lightly as you passed him to inspect the weapons. What you missed as you peered into the weapons crates was the way Bucky smiled at you as you passed, a real smile unlike any of the one’s he’d given since the 40’s.

“Look at all this,” You breathed, inspecting box after box of weapons of all sorts. 

“And there’s at least six more cars just like it,” Sam informed over the comm. You shook your head, picking up a rather nasty looking bomb. 

“We better get a move on, Kingpin’s bound to be here at any moment.” Your words caught Bucky’s attention and he nodded, walking towards the opening of the train car and hopping out. Wordlessly, you followed. As you jumped out of the car, Bucky grabbed you by the hips and slowed down your descent, setting you safely on the ground. His hands burned on your waist, and that tension from before returned in full force.

“I had that, you know,” You informed, raising a brow at him. He just smirked.

“I know.”

Then let you go and walk away, finally letting you take in a breath. As you followed him, you shook your head. 

This was going to be a long night.

|||

It took twenty more minutes for you and Bucky to clear out the guards without any of them reporting back a disturbance.

And, right on time, Kingpin and his men showed up

You watched as the massive, hulking man sauntered up to the center of the trainyard where the dealers, led by the woman from the gala, stood waiting. You stood pressed against a train nearby with Bucky against the one across from you. Overhead, Sam was waiting for your signal to move in. 

It would be your job to make sure the SWAT team rolling up outside had enough time to infiltrate and secure the weapons that they could. In the meantime, you, Bucky, and Sam would ambush the deal, taking out as many operatives as you could and securing Kingpin and the Dealer. 

But right now, your mind wasn’t on the plan. No, you were stuck staring at the goons who waltzed up with Kingpin. You recognized three of them as the men who pummeled you that night after the gala. Noticing your clenched jaw, Bucky followed your gaze to the men. Understanding broke over him and you glanced over to see a certain fury flood his gaze. He looked back to you, his gaze clashing with yours.

“Which ones?” Was all he whispered, low enough so he couldn’t be heard by anyone except for the comm link. You heard the edge in his voice, and maybe it was wrong, but you loved it.

“The two on his right and second to the left.”

Bucky nodded, staring down the three men. He looked back to you, “You want them?”

A smile ghosted your lips. You could see the restraint in the way his shoulders were held tensely and the whitening of his knuckles on his gun. He wanted them, but he wanted you to have the choice first.

And you fell in love, right there. It began with the dance, but it was done now. There was no going back.

“Share?” You offered, and Bucky’s lips tipped up in a smile.

The two of you turned your attention back to the deal, straining enough to hear the conversation flowing from Kingpin and the Dealer who met in the middle.

“I’m not seeing my weapons,” Kingpin noted, his hands clasped before him. The woman smiled.

“The money first. Then you’ll get your weapons.”

Your hands tightened around your gun, waiting for Kingpin’s next move. He surveyed the Dealer before nodding, turning back to his man and motioning. That was it, this was your chance. 

“Now,” You whispered, and instantly the sound of bullets from somewhere to the right blasted through the air.

Sam’s distraction.

The Dealer and Kingpin snapped their gazes towards the sound. 

“What the hell-”

That’s when you and Bucky swept in, guns raised and bullets flying before the group knew what was happening. Chaos broke out, but every time someone strayed from the center to flee into the trains, Sam was there to guide them back. 

The scene was a flurry of bullets and knives, of yelling and screams, but in the end it was you and Bucky who were left standing amongst the group of downed guards. Of course, there were a few left standing besides Kingpin and the Dealer, one of which happened to be one of the men who beat the shit out of you after the gala.

You did not miss how one of the other men who’d beat you wasn’t just unconscious nearby, but his neck was twisted at a wrong angle with Bucky standing nearby. The last of three was lying somewhere in the mess, shot and bleeding out. 

Silence settled over the scene as Sam slammed down on the top of one of the train cars, gun raised. Bucky stood by the Dealer, and you by Kingpin. The two criminals stood silently, their hands raised in submission. 

“Here’s what’s gonna happen,” You announced, keeping your gun pointed at Kingpin. He snapped his gaze to you, and surprise flickered through it followed by a sort of…admiration that made your skin crawl, “A SWAT team is closing in on the weapons now, so the two of you are going to call off anyone else you have stationed and come with us, without a fight preferably.”

“Little bird,” Kingpin greeted, making your pulse spike. You didn’t want to look at him, but you did anyway, and you hated the way you shook as you did, “It’s not often I’m surprised, but I gotta say, you’ve got me speechless here.”

You gritted your teeth, but it was Bucky who called out “Clearly not speechless enough,”

Kingpin laughed, seeming almost at ease. He started to lower his hands and you took a step closer, your gun held strong before you.

“Keep your hands where I can see them!” You ordered. 

“Okay, okay,” Kingpin complied, raising his hands up, “But I just want to say, you really shoulda thought this out more.”

You furrowed your brows, “Wh-”

You couldn’t even get the words out when three of the nearby train car doors slid open, and guards poured out. Your heart shot into your throat, and you didn’t even have the chance to shoot when twenty guns were pointed at you and twenty more at Bucky. You shot a nervous glance towards Bucky, who shared the same look. 

“Sam, go,” You whispered, and he flew off without another word. He needed to get the SWAT team in here now, or you and Bucky wouldn’t make it long. On the bidding of Kingpin’s army, you and Bucky set your guns down slowly. 

“Alright,” Kingpin announced, sighing as if this were just another Saturday night, “Now here’s what’s really gonna happen.”

He walked up to you, and off to the side you saw Bucky immediately lunge forward towards him. He couldn’t make it far before Kingpin pulled out a gun of his own and pointed it at your head.

Bucky froze.

“Leave her alone,” Bucky ordered, his voice dark and menacing. 

“Now it’s getting fun,” Kingpin mused, ignoring Bucky completely and stepping closer to you. You clenched your fists to hide the way they shook. 

“You’re gonna hop up to this train car here and get my weapons out, make sure they’re what I wanted. Then, you’re gonna call off the SWAT team, and we’re gonna walk out of here,” Kingpin said simply. 

“Not happening,” You gritted out.

“Funny, I don’t remember giving you a choice,” Kingpin sighed before grabbing your arm and looking to the dealer, “Which one has the weapons?”

She smirked, pointed at the train car nearby Bucky. It was torture to be dragged past him and not be able to touch him. Not for lack of trying, either. As you went by, he made a break for you, shouting your name. It took eight men to restrain him.

Eight men, that’s how many it took to hold him steady. 

And, you figured he was holding back since there was a gun to your head. 

“Oh, and package the soldier up. I want to have a few…words with him later.” Kingpin ordered, and panic blinded you. You reared back helplessly, struggling against his iron grip as you had to watch the men try to subdue Bucky and get him into handcuffs. 

Your panicked gaze met his, and all you could do was pray Sam was close with the SWAT team. You couldn’t rely on that, though. Kingpin was going to kill you and then Bucky.

You could die, so long as Bucky didn’t.

A plan began to spin in your head as Kingpin shoved you up into the train car. 

“Now, grab a gun from in there and show it to me,” Kingpin ordered, but then gave you a knowing smile, “And don’t try anything, or I’ll have a bullet in your boyfriend’s head.”

“On our way!” Sam called through the comm, but you were running out of time. The men were already hauling away Bucky, and you had to act fast. 

Turning into the dark train car full of weapons, you tried to lift a box and pretended to fail. Turning to look down at Kingpin, who still stood on the ground, you gritted, “I can’t get it. It’s too heavy.”

Maybe it was his built-in trust of you from your encounter that night after the gala, or maybe it was because he thought you were under too much emotional duress, but he believed you.

He bought it, and he hauled himself into the train car for everyone to see.

“You better not be-”

Before he could speak again or anyone could react, you’d pulled the bomb you picked earlier off of your belt and pulled the pick. Gasps and shouts rang out through the yard as you held the live explosive in your hand and made sure you stood between Kingpin and the exit of the train car.

“Y/N NO!” Bucky shouted, his voice cracking. With a bare pull of his arms, the cuffs on his wrists snapped and he made a move for you. 

A handful of guns were pressed into Bucky’s head, stopping him cold. In response, you held the motion-induced explosive tighter and pushed it further towards Kingpin, who had backed as far as he could against a stack of crates. Terror was clear across his face, which brought a sick sort of delight.

“You shoot him, and I drop it,” You announced, and once again the yard plunged into silence. 

Anyone who could see the situation knew you had the upper hand. If anyone killed you, the bomb would hit the ground and kill Kingpin. If Kingpin tried anything on you, you’d drop the bomb and kill the both of you. You were locked in a stalemate, and now you were going to win.

“Now, put your guns down.” Your voice rang through the trainyard, but no one acted. You lifted your brows and nodded, turning your head towards Kingpin. Panic flared in his eyes and he shouted, “GUNS DOWN! Put your damn guns down!”

You turned your head and watched as everyone did as they were told. Your eyes snagged on Bucky, who had a desperate look on his face. He shook his head, but you ignored his silent pleas. 

“You, the Dealer and all your forces are going to stand down. You’re going to wait patiently for SWAT to get here,” You lifted your chin, “Or I’ll drop this and we both go.”

“You wouldn’t,” Kingpin stuttered. 

“You really want to call my bluff? Go ahead, end your criminal empire in one moment of stupidity,” You dared. 

Kingpin took a moment to survey your gaze before he shook his head, “You’re crazy.”

You didn’t miss a beat.

“The things you do for love.”

That’s when you heard the rustling of gear and looked over to see the SWAT team storming in, guns raised and shouting at the Dealer and all of the assorted criminals throughout the yard. Taking in a trembling breath, you looked back at Kingpin.

“Game over, little bird,” You lifted your chin, and Kingpin’s eyes flared.

“This isn’t over,” He assured.

“Sure it isn’t,” You replied easily. Well, as easily as you could with a live bomb in your grasp.

You heard the clanging of the train car and looked over to see Bucky inside, his eyes deadly and his jaw clenched tightly as he grabbed Kingpin.

“Out,” Bucky growled, throwing him to the ground outside. Officers were on him instantly, but Bucky wasn’t paying attention, instead, he was on you. 

“Bucky, stay-” You warned with a trembling voice, stepping back to keep the bomb from him. Bucky wasn’t listening to you, though, He cut you off and cupped your cheeks.

“What the hell were you thinking? You could have died!” Bucky nearly shouted, but you didn’t miss the way his voice shook. 

“He was going to take you, and I couldn’t let him do that,” You whispered, tears gathering in your eyes. 

“So you pulled a bomb on him?” Bucky pushed. A tear slipped down your cheek and Bucky wiped it away, shaking his head at you, “Don’t ever do that again, don’t ever risk your life like that for me again.”

“No promises.” Your voice was trembling badly, and your hand was clenched so tightly around the bomb that your fingers hurt, “Bucky, I’m scared.”

You heard Sam call for a bomb squad in the distance, but you didn’t tear your gaze from Bucky. He pressed his forehead to yours, “I know, baby. But you’re gonna be alright.”

“What if I drop it?” You whispered, only allowing your fear to be heard and seen from Bucky. 

“You’re not gonna drop it,” Bucky assured, reaching forward and holding the explosive over your hand.

Buck, don’t-”

He held fast, closing both of his hands around yours and the bomb, “You’re gonna be okay. I’ve got you.”

“Sam, how long on that bomb squad?” You called out, another rogue tear burning down your cheek.

“They should be here any minute.” Sam’s reply made the tension in your chest ease slightly, and as if on command, the bomb squad came running up to the train car.

Bucky’s hands were solid around yours, and his gaze was unflinching and unafraid. He had you. That thought made your heart rate slow. He had you, he had you.

“So what do you have here?” A lady asked, jogging up and hopping into the train car, looking down at the explosive. She hummed, nodding before reaching into her kit. You looked down to watch her work, new fear ripping through you.

“No, just look at me,” Bucky ordered, making your gaze snap up to his. You nodded, doing your best to hold his gaze as the woman worked on the bomb. 

“You’ve got pretty eyes,” You murmured, the fear making your inhibitions lowered, “I don’t think I ever told you that.”

Bucky’s lips edged up into a smile, “Well, I figured you thought so considering how fast your heart was beating in that train car a few minutes ago. Or were you thinking about something other than my eyes?”

His charm worked perfectly, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Look at us,” You mused, glancing down at the bomb for a moment before looking back up to Bucky, “A few months ago you wanted to kill me, and now we’re holding a bomb I pulled to save your ass, again.”

“No, I still want to kill you sometimes,” Bucky amended, but the words held no merit. 

“Alright,” The bomb squad lady said, grabbing onto the underside of the bomb, “You can let it go now. I’ve got it.”

Your smile faded and you locked your gaze with Bucky’s again. He pulled one of his hands off and your grip on the explosive tightened. You shook your head slightly.

“It’s okay,” He murmured, nodding to you, “Let it go.”

Bucky slid his hand that was left on the bomb to yours, intertwining your fingers and slowly pulling your hand off. Before you knew it, Bucky had managed to pull your hand off the grenade. In its stead, Bucky held your hand tightly, pulling you instantly into his chest. 

You let out a shuddering sigh of relief, leaning your head on Bucky’s shoulder. Slowly he pulled back, keeping your hand in his, “Come on, let’s go.”

You nodded, your fear ebbing as the two of you jumped down from the train car. In an instant, Sam was at the two of you, nearly knocking you over with a hug. You laughed, letting go of Bucky’s hand and hugging Sam back. 

“You are insane!” Sam exclaimed, letting go of you and shaking his head, “Absolutely insane.”

You smiled, “Thanks,”

Sam laughed, shaking his head as he walked over to Bucky, “So not a compliment.”

After he checked in with Bucky he turned and faced the two of you. 

“Good work, guys. Glad to see you’re not killing each other here.” 

“Yet,” You and Bucky happened to say at the same time. 

Sam smiled, “I better be off, I’ve got a mission I left to help out here.” Pausing, he looked over to you and gestured to Bucky, “Take care of him?”

You smiled, nodding, “Always.”

The two of you said your goodbyes as Sam turned and flew off. With a long sigh, you turned and began to make your way back to Bucky’s car.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I could go for some food right now.” You announced. 

“Wait,” Bucky stopped you, grabbing your arm and pulling you around to face him, “What you said back there to Kingpin…did you mean it?”

For a moment, you considered playing dumb and asking what he meant. But you knew what he meant, and he knew you did. You had inadvertently said that you loved him, and because of the bomb situation you almost thought you’d make it out without having to confront it.

You held Bucky’s gaze that was searing into you, and suddenly you were overcome with that same sensation to kiss him as before. With him standing this close to you and after what you’d just been through together, it took all of your strength to hold back. The tension in the air between the two of you as he waited for your response was maddening.

“Well, I did nearly blow myself up for you so take that as you-”

“You are infuriating,” Bucky huffed, tugging you closer so that your body was flush against his. Your joking ended immediately, your pulse flickering wildly as his lips danced just out of reach of yours. His blue eyes were dark as he stared down at you, each of you daring the other to make the first move.

Your lips brushed against his as you spoke into the silence, “I meant it.”

And then his lips were on yours. His arm was around your waist, pulling you tight as his other tangled into your hair. This kiss had been brewing for months, and you could feel it. Lightning danced across your skin as he kissed you desperately, in a way that made your arms tighten around his neck to keep yourself from falling. He nipped at your bottom lip softly, then pulled away and moved to hold your face in his hands. 

For a long while, Bucky just stared at you with a soft smile playing on his lips. You smiled, still dazed from the kiss. 

“What?” You asked. 

He ran a thumb across your cheek tenderly, “I was just trying to think back to when things changed between us. But…but I think I’ve loved you from the moment I met you.”

Your smile widened and you surged forward, kissing him again. Pulling back, you gazed up at him with an amused glint in your eyes.

“And when you were choking me in my kitchen, threatening to kill me, that was you showing your love for me?” You asked.

Bucky’s grin turned suave and playful as he threw his arm across your shoulders and walked with you towards his car, “Well, you seemed to like it enough in that train car.”

Your cheeks heated and you scoffed, slapping his muscled chest as the two of you walked. 

“Jerk,” You laughed out, and he held you closer to him with a smile.

“I love you too.”

#angst #fluff #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes oneshot #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x fem!reader #the winter soldier #fatws bucky #angst oneshot #sam wilson #enemies to lovers

[eat-limes-bitches]

I Will Always Come When You Call

PAIRING: Female Reader x FATWS Bucky Barnes

SUMMARY:  When reader accidentally calls Bucky, he comes running to find out what’s wrong.

WARNINGS: ANGST, mentions of depression, fluff

Word Count: 1168

A/N: I disappeared from posting because, well, I had no will to write, I was in a rut. This is purely self soothing at this point because this is what I need right now. I promise that I have updates for the series soon, I just needed this first. 

Enjoy!! <3

Dividers by Rookthorne

It was the same feeling, day in, day out, the constant numbing sadness for a loss that never happened. The monsters that emerged from the deepest parts of her mind and wrapped her consciousness in toxic thoughts. People always said the same things, “Get some air, it won’t do you any good being cooped up.” “Take a break, you’re just burnt out from working too hard.” That was her problem, she wasn’t working. She couldn’t. It's hard to do anything when you barely have the will to get out of bed, let alone work. She stared at the glowing numbers from the clock on her nightstand, indicating she was, once again, still awake at an unreasonable hour. She glanced at the dark screen of her phone that was resting on the bed next to her. Why was it there again? Oh, right. She was gonna call him. The corner of her lips twitched upwards at the thought. Bucky had always been there, they had been there for each other. After everything that they went through together, with Thanos, the Flag Smashers, his amends, they were together through it all and now that everything had calmed down, she was struggling to stay afloat. Unlocking her phone, her thumb hovered over the call button. What was she gonna say? “Hey Buck, I know it's 2:30 in the morning and nothing is wrong but I need you.” She shook her head. It was stupid, if either of them were to call the other at this time it should be him. She had no reason and no explanation as to why she was feeling this way. 

Letting out a groan she leaned back and thumped her head against the headboard closing her eyes as she sunk a little deeper into her mind. “Doll? Are you ok?” Her eyes snapped open and down to her phone. Shit, she accidentally hit the dial. “Y/N are you ok? You’re worrying me sweets.” She shook her head slightly, “Yeah, sorry Buck.” She quickly hung up, cutting off whatever it was that Bucky was about to say, and throwing her phone to the other side of the bed. She hated feeling like this, this hopelessness that seemed to seep in through every pore on her skin and settle deep within her bones, like how a chill sets in after getting caught in the pouring rain. She was so deep within her mind that she didn’t notice the man that entered her flat. She didn’t hear him calling out to her and asking her where she was. Eventually the door to her bedroom opened, causing her to snap out of her trance in alarm, only to relax again when she saw Bucky standing there with a worried look on his face. 

“God, there you are. You scared me to death, sweets.” He murmured as he crossed the room to sit next to her on the bed. She stared at him with a puzzled expression on her face, tracing her eyes across his features. His hair was messy, shoes missing, probably at the front door, dressed in a pair of sweats and a dark blue t-shirt that highlighted to worried look in his eyes. She continued to stare for a moment before she finally spoke, “You came..” Bucky blinked, confusion coloring his features as he replied, “Of course I did, you called.” She froze at his words, surprise seeping into her eyes as she looked at him, trying to decide if he was serious when he broke the silence, “What’s going on, darling?” She shook her head, looking away from him, “I- I honestly don’t know, and that’s the problem.” She melted as he placed an arm around her, pulled her into his side, a gentle sign for her to continue. “It’s just- god I’m not okay.” She leaned to rest her head against his shoulder as she struggled to find the words, “I.. I’m just not myself. My jaw hurts from grinding my teeth, I can’t sleep at night, not because I’m not tired, no, I’m exhausted. It’s like I’m too tired to sleep. Everything is too much and not enough at the same time. I’m spiraling, and I couldn’t even begin to tell you why.” Once she finished, Bucky let out a sigh and pulled her further into his embrace, as if holding her would shield her mind from the toxic thoughts that tried to take her from him. “Doll, you should have told me sooner.” He scolded softly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. She shrugged, “I didn’t want to worry or bother you. You’ve come so far in your own healing that I didn’t want to drag you down with me.”

 Bucky shook his head, “Y/N, look at me.” He placed hid flesh hand under her chin to raise her gaze so that she was looking at him, “You mean the whole fucking world to me, do you know that?” She tried to look away as color flooded her cheeks but he wasn’t having it, “I think of you every day. You’re my first thought when I wake up and the last one before I try to go to sleep. I want to help you, and before you even start with the whole, ‘you don’t have to help me’ bullshit, I want to help you.” He paused, moving the hand under her chin to thread his fingers through her hair as he looked over her weary face. “You don’t have to do this all on your own, my love, let me help.” 

His words were a soft gentle caress against the opened wounds on her soul, something she didn’t realize she needed until she had a taste of it, and with the sugary sweet words filling the holes, the negative began to suffocate, trying desperately to escape but when entrapped in his honey coated words, they just died out. She nodded her head before she spoke, “Ok…ok.” “What do you need darling, not tomorrow, not in an hour, right now, what do you need?” Bucky asked. She traced the intricate lines on his vibranium hand that was situated around her middle before she spoke, “Can you just, hold me? Just for a little bit? I haven’t been able to sleep well for three day a-” Bucky cut her off by pulling her to lie down with him, tucking her head into his chest before reaching over and turning off the lamp on the nightstand. He wrapped his arms back around her and pressed kisses along her hairline until he reached her ear where he whispered, “Get some sleep sweets. I’ll be here when you wake up.” Wrapped up in Bucky’s warmth it wasn’t long before her eyes began to grow heavy, still she managed to move her head back to look over Bucky’s face as she whispered, “I still can’t believe you came.” Bucky leaned forward pressing his forehead against hers replying quietly, “I will always come when you call.”

#bucky barnes x female reader #bucky angst #bucky x you #bucky fluff #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky x female reader #bucky x reader fluff #fatws bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky x reader angst

[make-me-imagine]

Flowers and Courage

Plot: After Bucky fears he might lose his chance with you, he finally finds the courage to tell you how he feels.

Prompts: 'Secret admirer' + "I'm tired of hiding how I feel about you."

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Gn!Reader

Requested By: Anonymous (a left over request from Valentines Day)

A/n: Sorry its so short and kind of sucks lol I had some trouble getting it down.

Words: 1.1k

-

Bucky was deep in thought as he sat at the bar, his hands slowly turning the glass in his hands as he thought about what to do. He wasn't sure how long he had been here already, but it felt like time had slowed down since he sat down to think.

He felt like he was in grade school all over again. Uncertain of how to tell his crush how he feels, so instead he just leaves them secret notes and candy.

But he wasn't a child anymore, and you weren't just a crush. He had never felt anything so deep and real for anyone before. And he had never found something so hard as he did confessing to you.

It was supposed to be easy, show up at your doorstep with flowers. Allow them to lead into a natural confession. But the second you opened your door, and your eyes cast over the flowers, causing a look of surprise over your face, he panicked.

"These were in front of your door." He said suddenly, feeling all courage he thought he had dissipate.

"Oh really?" You asked with growing curiosity as you took them. "I wonder if they were left at the wrong door."

Bucky felt disappointment and anger at himself wash over him as he held back on saying they were definitely for you.

That had happened months ago. And ever since then, it had become habit for him to hide how he felt. The coffees and flowers left to you randomly at work were thought of as kind gestures of a stranger.

When in reality it was Bucky. Showing his feelings for you the only way it seemed he could. Secretly.

He admired you from afar, adored you really. But was your friend up close, showing no real evidence of how he felt, or so he thought, and hoped.

Bucky thought it was fine, it could become the normal, it had become the normal. Until yesterday, when he overhead another agent talking to you, flirting shamelessly.

And then the man had the audacity to take credit for the flowers and the coffees, everything Bucky had done for you. This ass-hat had swooped in taken all the credit, trying to sweep you off your feet.

It infuriated Bucky, but he held back, not wanting to make a scene, or throw the man through a window.

So here he was, trying to find what courage he could through the anger to tell you once and for all how he felt about you.

Downing the last of his drink, Bucky slapped some money down and left, determination anchored in his heart as he made his way towards your apartment.

--- --- ---

As you pulled open your door, your heart leapt in you chest as you saw Bucky standing at your doorstep. You always felt that same wave of nervousness and butterflies when you saw him, even though you had known him, and been friends for years.

Your eyes cast down to his hands and you felt your chest clench. Flowers. Were they for you? Were they from him? Were they left at your doorstep again? Were they from the agent from work?

Out of all of those options, you hoped they would be from Bucky. Just like you had hoped they were the first time.

"Bucky, hi!" You greeted with a bright smile. "Come in!"

He smiled, but you could tell something was off, he seemed nervous, and that only added to your own anxieties.

As he stepped into your apartment he cleared his throat, handing you the flowers that had been in his hands, you noticed his knuckles were white as he gripped them before letting go.

"These are for you."

"Oh-" You hesitated for a moment "Were they left at the door step again?"

The first time this happened, when Bucky told you the flowers were left at your doorstep you were disappointed. But something told you they had really been from him. Maybe it was just you being hopeful.

Bucky shook his head and spoke, his voice softer than you had been expecting. "No, they're from me."

He saw your eyes widen as your face brightened up and he felt a wave of relief and triumph wash over him.

"Thank you, but- what are they for?" You asked cautiously, yet curious.

A thousand thoughts seemed to cross Bucky's mind in the span of a second as he froze, before he cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck.

"They- uh, there-" he sighed before laughing dryly "I used to be better at this."

You smiled "Better at what Buck?"

He met your eyes and saw nothing but your familiar kindness, and a hint of encouragement, even eagerness.

"Confessing."

You felt as thought your heart stopped as your breath hitched in your throat.

Bucky continued before you could respond. "Those flowers from a few months ago, they weren't left on your doorstep, I got those for you too, I just...panicked"

You repressed a giggle "You...panicked?"

"I know." He laughed softly. "I don't know I just- I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same, and that it would ruin what friendship we had. So I kept it to myself. I left you coffees and flowers at your desk after that" he saw your face turn to realization "And yesterday I heard that douc- that guy tell you he did it, and it pissed me off. But I realized it was my fault, for not having told you earlier. So I decided to tell you. Because- because I'm tired of hiding how I feel about you. I care about you much more than I have anyone in my life. And I don't want to lose you or any chance I might have of being with you. "

He watched you closely as you looked down at the flowers, watching as a smile slowly spread across your face. "I knew he didn't leave them for me. He made it so obvious he was lying." You looked up and met Bucky's eyes "And honestly, I had a feeling it might have been you, but I was too afraid to get my hopes up. Because I feel the same about you Bucky, everything you said, I feel it too."

You saw a wave of relief and happiness cross his face as you spoke. Suddenly he stepped closer, reaching up and gently touching your cheek as he smiled. "I wasted quite a bit of time, didn't I?"

You shrugged as your grin widened "Nothing you can't make up for."

xx

Sorry it ended so abruptly, I literally could not get anything else out of my brain lol

General Taglist: @criminaly-supernatural, @imaginesfire, @onuen, @rexit-mo, @alexxavicry, @witchygagirl

Marvel+Bucky Taglist: @aquariuslavenderhoney, @trashywritestrash, @groovy-lady, @marvelouslyme96, @supersourlemon13, @mochamoff, @simsiddy, @gay-and-ready-to-cry, @flourishandblotts-inc, @spuffyfan394, @agent-catfish-kenobi, @locke-writes, @cs-please, @soultrysworld, @a-lumos-in-the-nox, @creativitybeware, @that-marvel-simp, @gatefleet, @skylions-den, @dominos-palast, @maellem, @readingwithatorch, @cauliflowertree, @writerfulltime, @cosplayingwitch, @sweetpeapod, @hoodedbirdie, @oliviah-25,

#Bucky Barnes #Bucky Barnes x reader #bucky barnes/reader #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes one shot #buck barnes imagine #marvel imagine #falcon #falcon and the winter soldier imagine #fatws #fatws x reader #falcon and the winter soldier x reader #captain america imagine #avengers imagine #the winter soldier #the winter soldier x reader #the winter soldier imagine

[sjsmith56]

Amends

Summary: Bucky prepares to make a visit to a woman make amends for the actions of the Winter Soldier. Reliving the night of the event in his memories brings up the guilt of not just what he did, but what he didn’t do.

Length: 3.2K

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, HYDRA handler, two victims, victim’s daughter

Warnings: Memories of violence by Winter Soldier and by HYDRA handler, guilt, remorse, angst.

Author’s notes: The memories are indicated by the italicized font. There’s no doubt that each session where Bucky made amends to the survivors of his victims would become increasingly hard for him. Each time would bring back the memories of his actions, furthering his feelings of guilt. In this instance I thought of how perhaps it was something that Bucky wanted to do for himself, as part of a cleansing his soul process. Agree or disagree with that theory it was still something that affected him deeply each time.

🌟

The list in his notebook had been getting noticeably shorter. Bucky looked at the spread-out sheets of paper on his table, with the printouts of the next person to make amends to. This one had tugged on him emotionally, almost as much as Yori’s son’s death had. With a sigh he began to read over the details again.

The subject’s name was Susan Whitaker, daughter of Richard and Marianne Whitaker. Amends were to be made to her for the death of her parents on June 23, 1994.

“Soldat, you will eliminate the target Richard Whitaker. He has become a problem at SHIELD, and suspects that Alexander Pierce is part of HYDRA.”

“I will comply.”

Bucky shook his head, trying to get the memory of the order out of his head. It was no use; now that the memory had begun he would have to let it run its course.

“You will find him at his home, after 8 pm. The address is on the briefing sheet.”

“Witnesses to be eliminated?”

“If they do not see you there is no need. The wife is an invalid and in a wheelchair. The daughter is young enough not to retain any memory of you. However, you have the latitude to act independently if you decide otherwise.”

“Insertion details?”

“You will be transported to a position near the residence with your handler but you will advance alone into the residence once the sun sets. Confirmation of his death has been requested by Pierce. You will check for life signs and call this number.”

He was breathing heavy as he remembered the phone number that was given to him. It was an untraceable number that allowed him to report directly to Alexander Pierce. It was supposed to be a straightforward hit but sometimes even the Winter Soldier experienced complete and total fuckups. He put the pages into the folder and walked away from the table. Pouring himself a cup of coffee he stood at his counter drinking it while staring at the folder. Gulping down the rest of his drink he sat back down at the table and pulled the papers out again. Even though he remembered everything as if it were yesterday he still wanted to go over it and make sure he had the series of events correct.

It was raining when they arrived at the position where he would leave the vehicle, a stolen cable company van. He was dressed as an installation technician, there on a service call. In the back of the van he pulled on the coveralls as his handler watched.

“Remember to call the number once you have confirmed Whitaker’s death,” said Gary Simons, his newest handler.

A tall thin man, he had a pockmarked face, from untreated acne. The Soldier didn’t have much in the way of opinion of any of his handlers but Simons was not his first choice of handlers to work with. He was quick to anger, eager to punish the Soldier for perceived slights, and had a sadistic streak that the efficient Soldier found unnecessary. Dead was dead, and a single bullet between the eyes was quick, efficient, and wasted little time in cleaning up the evidence. More than once when Simons visual confirmation was needed he would add his own flourish to the Soldier’s work; a shot to the mouth, or an initial carved into the cheek. Several times he had been cautioned against leaving such signatures but a man such as him always seemed to want to leave his mark on a scene.

Once again Bucky had to stop and leave the papers. The memory of Simons always bothered him. HYDRA attracted their share of sadists and Simons was right up there with Rumlow on the list of the worst of the worst. What Simons did that night wasn’t necessary and it could have led to the Soldier being caught because of what he did after.

The door on the verandah was unlocked and the Soldier easily got inside, walking quietly through the kitchen before listening for the sounds that would indicate where his target was. The sound of a television drew him to a small den. The football game was on and Whitaker was watching it, a bowl of potato chips on his lap and a beer in his hand. He looked tired, and didn’t seem to be engaged in the game. In fact, it was almost as if he was waiting. When the soldier entered the den Whitaker turned to him and nodded.

“You’re here for me, I suppose,” he said. “I’ve been expecting you.”

“You are my mission,” replied the Soldier.

“My wife and daughter are upstairs,” said Whitaker. “They’re innocent. Please, don’t hurt them.”

“If they do not see me they will live,” was the reply and the doomed man nodded.

He stood up and faced his killer, looking him in the eye. Removing his gun from his holster the Winter Soldier aimed it at Whitaker and fired. The silencer stifled the sound of the gunshot and the man dropped immediately. Removing the glove from his right hand the Soldier felt for the pulse, finding nothing. Mission accomplished. He used the eraser end of a pencil to dial the number on the phone in the den. When it was answered a man’s voice asked for the mission report.

“Target eliminated,” said the Soldier.

“Good work,” was the response and the line went dead.

The soldier wiped his fingerprints off the receiver and prepared to leave, coming back out to the kitchen, noticing the door to the verandah was open. He knew he had closed it and wondered if there was anyone else in the house. Listening carefully he left the kitchen and waited in the entry hall beside the stairs that went upstairs. The sound of a muffled scream hit his ears and he ran up the stairs towards the sound.

A feeling of dizziness hit Bucky and he realized he was hyperventilating. For several long moments he sat there and forced himself to breathe slower and deeper. Fighting down the feeling of panic he counted down his breaths in his mind; ten seconds to breathe in, ten seconds to breathe out. The panic subsided as did the dizziness and he decided to take a break. Taking his phone he texted Sam to ask if he could talk. Receiving a text back he dialled his friend’s number.

“What’s up?” asked Sam. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah … no,” replied Bucky. “I’m going over a file on a person I have to make amends to.”

Sam didn’t answer at first. “What’s bothering you?”

“Just remembering the hit. It didn’t go down the way it was supposed to.”

Bucky walked to the window and looked outside. It was raining, just like it was that night.

“Buck?”

“I killed a SHIELD agent,” he said. “The man began to suspect Pierce was HYDRA, well before anyone else ever had an inkling. The hit request came from Pierce himself and I had to phone him immediately after with my mission report. His wife and daughter were there but as long as they didn’t witness me I was allowed to let them live.”

“What happened?”

“My handler entered the house while I was on the phone with Pierce,” said Bucky. “I didn’t hear him but he left the door open so I went looking for whoever had entered the house. He went upstairs, found the wife, an invalid and began raping her. I got there too late to stop him and he strangled her.”

“Fuck,” said Sam. “Did it register with you?”

“Yeah, it did,” said Bucky. “I killed him, crushed his throat with my metal hand, and left his body there. He was a sadistic bastard, as bad as Rumlow and I had no second thoughts about killing him.”

“What about the daughter?”

Bucky didn’t answer at first then he coughed. “I took her out of the house, Sam. I wrote a note about what happened and put it inside her clothes, then dropped her in front of a police station and told her to go to the door. Then I left. She was barely three years old. When I got to the rendezvous I told the team he left the van and sent me on my way. I was conditioned to obey his orders. They accepted that.”

“What happened after?”

“When the hit made the news and the discovery of his body on the scene was released they knew I lied about him telling me to go but he was a loose cannon and likely would have been sanctioned anyways,” said Bucky. “I got away with it. The police attributed her murder to him and the husband’s murder to an unknown assailant who also killed the other intruder. It’s officially still unsolved, until I file the amends statement.”

He could hear Sam give out a noticeable breath. “So what’s bothering you? You killed a rapist and you saved the life of a little girl. You’ve already been given a pardon for the father’s death.”

“I should have locked the door behind me to keep him from entering the house. He did shit like that, although not to the extreme he did that night. How do I tell this woman that I feel responsible for her mother’s death, even though it wasn’t me who killed her?”

“I guess exactly the same way that you just told me,” said Sam after a considerable pause. “The truth will always set you free. Isn’t that the saying?”

“Yeah, you’re right,” sighed Bucky. “I guess I just needed to hear it from someone else. Thanks for listening.”

“Buck, anytime,” replied Sam. “You good?”

“No, but I will be. Goodnight.”

Returning to the table Bucky put the file back together and left it on the surface. Putting his leather jacket on he left the apartment, making sure to lock the door and he headed down the stairs to the street. Even with the rain it was busy outside, as people were headed out for dinner or an evening at a bar. He got on the subway, taking it to Manhattan and transferring to a train to the Bronx. When he got off there he consulted a map on his phone for the address. She ran a bookshop, one of those used ones, that people could bring their extra books to and exchange for money or for more books. He stopped at the window, noticing there was a cat asleep in a bed on a shelf. He grinned slightly, wishing he had visited here before, just so he could have spent time with the cat. When he opened the door there was a little bell sound and a woman of about 30 years of age looked up from where she sat behind the counter.

“Hi,” she said cheerily. “Still raining?”

“Yeah,” he replied, “mostly but it isn’t heavy. Nice place.”

“Thanks,” she replied. “I do alright and it gives me time to work on my master’s degree. Are you looking for anything in particular?”

He shook his head. “No, do you mind if I just browse?”

“Be my guest,” she said warmly. “I’m here if you have any questions.”

“Thanks.”

He stopped to scratch the cat’s head and began to look at the assortment of books. There was a good selection of titles, which he noted, even taking a couple to buy but he was really checking to make sure she was alone. Bringing his choices to the front he put them down in front of her and she smiled, picking them up and ringing the reduced price into the cash register.

“That will be $8.50 with the tax,” she said. “Interesting choices.”

“You have a nice little store,” said Bucky, taking a ten dollar bill out. “Keep the change.”

“Thanks! Every little bit helps.”

He stood there and picked up his books, looking her in the eye. “Are you Susan Whitaker, daughter of Richard and Marianne Whitaker?”

She looked at him strangely. “Yes, they died when I was little,” she said. “Why are you asking?”

“My name is James Buchanan Barnes,” he said. “For a time I was known as the Winter Soldier, and I was forced to work as an assassin for HYDRA through brainwashing. I am no longer that person, having regained my freedom but it requires that I make amends to the families of those who were my victims.”

She whimpered, looking at him with emotion. “It was you,” she whispered. “You carried me out of the house and took me to the police station. Why?”

“I was only programmed to kill your father but my handler was a sick man,” said Bucky. “Your father had anticipated his death and accepted it. I made it quick and was on my way out when I saw the door was open. Listening for the sounds of another intruder I went upstairs where my handler had just killed your mother. I’ll spare you the details. What he did was wrong, even to me, and I killed him. I knew you were there and didn’t want to leave you alone in that house so I wrote out what happened, put it into your clothes and took you to the police station. You were innocent and I blamed myself for your mother’s death. I’m here to make amends for the deaths of your parents and to give you closure so you know the truth of who was responsible.”

“But you didn’t kill her,” said Susan. “The police figured that out. He raped her but someone caught him and crushed his throat causing him to suffocate. They said it was a painful death. That was you.”

Bucky nodded, ashamed. “I don’t kill anymore, not since 2014 when I finally escaped from their control. It doesn’t excuse what I did. Even though I had no choice in any of them I still did them.”

He turned to leave, having said what he wanted to say.

“Wait,” she said, getting off her stool and standing in front of him. “I’ve read about you, about what HYDRA did to you to make you their killer. I know from the HYDRA files that were released that Alexander Pierce ordered my father’s death because Daddy was going to report him. You weren’t responsible for my mother’s death and you made sure I was safe. I have barely any memory of them but I do remember you, your arm mainly, the silver one. The star was so pretty and I always called you the Star Man. You were so kind to me. Were you still the Winter Soldier when you took me out of the house?”

Bucky looked down at the ground remembering that evening once more.

“Where’s Mommy and Daddy?” she asked.

“They’re not here,” said the Soldier, holding her face close to his chest so she wouldn’t see her father’s body in the den. “They told me to take you somewhere safe.”

“What’s your name?”

Her voice was so sweet and he had a flashback of another little girl, with braids in her hair, cuddling in his arms.

“Bucky, I had a bad dream.”

“I know, Becca,” he whispered, as he sat on her bed. “I’ll stay with you until you’re sleepy again.”

The Soldier looked at the little girl. “It was Bucky once.”

They got to the van and he opened the back door placing her on the floor. He took his coveralls off, placing them beside her, and little Susan Whitaker looked at his arm.

“Star,” she said, reaching out with her tiny hand and touching the red star on his left arm. “You’re Star Man.”

He smiled at her and gestured for her to climb into the seat in the front, closing the door and opening the driver’s side door. With a grimace he realized that Simons had the keys but he wasn’t going back to the house, not willing to leave Susan alone. Pulling out the wires from below he hot wired the van, starting it up. Before he got here he was given a briefing on the layout of the neighbourhood, including the location of the nearest police station. Carefully, he drove, making sure that Susan stayed seated in the front seat, which wasn’t easy as she wanted to look out the window.

About a block away from the police station Bucky pulled over to the curb and looked for a pad of paper, something to write on. He wrote down Susan’s name and address, saying what had happened there. Then he folded it up and told her to hide it inside her pyjamas. Gesturing for her to come to his arms he held her for several moments, stroking her hair..

“I can’t come inside with you but I want you to go the door of the building I’m going to take you to, okay?” he said. “They’ll take care of you and make sure you’re safe.”

“Okay,” she said. “What about Mommy and Daddy? Will they come for me?”

“No,” he replied. “I’m sorry but you won’t see them again.”

She smiled, not understanding and he hugged her, kissing her forehead. Then he opened the door and took her as close as he could to the station entrance out of the view of the security cameras. Setting her down on the ground he pointed out the door to her and told her to go there and knock.

“Don’t be afraid,” he said. “The police are your friends. Off you go.”

She turned around once and waved to him. He waved back but started walking backwards to the van, getting inside at the same time she arrived at the door. Watching as she knocked he started up the van and as soon as an officer came out to investigate her presence he backed up, turned around and drove away.

“No, I was in between him and my blank state,” he said to the adult Susan. “I had a memory of my own sister while I held you. You were never in danger with me and I didn’t leave until I saw an officer come to the door for you.”

She gave out an audible breath while she looked up at him.

“You remember them all, don’t you?” she asked. He nodded. “Are you legally required to do this, making amends?”

It was so easy to say yes as it was partially the truth, recommended as part of his therapy but she seemed to want to know the truth.

“No, I do this for myself,” he said. “I fought them for so long but they broke me and turned me into their weapon. Whenever I resisted they tortured me but I still ended up doing their dirty work for them and I remember every one of the killings.”

“That’s brave of you. Thank you for making amends for my father. You weren’t responsible for my mother’s death and I thank you for giving her justice. James Buchanan Barnes, I forgive you for what you were forced to do. I hope you find peace someday. You seem like a good man to go to this trouble.”

He smiled weakly and nodded. As he opened the door to the shop she said one more thing before he headed back out into the rainy night.

“Goodbye Star Man.”

By the time he got home his face was wet with more than just the rain.

One Shots Masterlist

Tumblr Masterlist

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #fatws bucky #sam wilson #making amends #winter soldier #memories #bucky barnes oneshot

[terry-perry]

Is it okay to request 43 with Bucky because I want it? Or are you just doing Moon Knight requests??

Little one settling down after you finally figure out what they need

Sorry this got angstier than expected!

"Mama!"

Bucky groaned with his eyes still closed. Rolling over, he draped his arm over you.

"Your son's awake," he grumbled, secretly glad it wasn't him Jack wanted this time around.

When his arm fell straight onto the mattress instead of your chest, however, his eyes opened up right away. He was welcomed by an empty space.

You weren't there.

Were you already heading to Jack's room?

Oh wait...

No.

Bucky got up right away as his son continued to cry out for you. Each call broke his heart a little more, but he kept on until he finally reached him.

"Hey, hey, hey," he immediately did his best to soothe his boy who was slowly starting to seize his thrashing around.

When he stopped completely, his eyes opened up. They seemed to sadden once they spotted Bucky and no one else.

"Where's Mama?" Jack mumbled, slightly pouting.

"Baby boy," Bucky sighed, hating to meet his eyes. Especially since they were yours. "Mama isn't here anymore, remember?"

"But why?"

He couldn't explain. He didn't want to explain. It would mean going back to that night. To realizing you weren't coming back. It was already taking a lot for him to come to terms with this fact.

How was he supposed to make his son face it?

#single dad!bucky #x reader #dead!reader #bucky x reader #dad!bucky #child oc #jack barnes #bucky barnes x reader #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #request #imagine #drabble prompts #mcu au #mcu fanfiction #drabble #oneshot #fatws bucky #bucky x y/n #mom!reader

[professorrw]

Lazy Days

marvel masterlist

Pairing: female reader x Bucky Barnes x Helmut Zemo x Sam Wilson

Request: could you do a Sam x Bucky x Zemo fic? I don't have anything specific for it but it can be fluff or smut or even both

Warnings: 18+, SMUT, fluff, foursome, pet names (doll, my queen, etc.)

A/N: Requests open, taglist open, inbox open! Please like, comment, and reblog!

SFW

-There was nothing else like spending lazy days with your favorite boys: Sam, Zemo, and Bucky. 

-In between missions they loved to be with you and just relax. They all felt at ease with you and only you.

-One of their favorite things was cuddling with you on the couch. They were too impatient to take turns so you had come up with a solution. 

-The couch was L-shaped, and Zemo would sit in the corner with his legs stretched out in front of him. You would sit next to him, tucked into his side with a protective arm around you. Bucky would lay down to your left with his head in your lap. He loved how you would play with his hair and lightly stroke his face when you all cuddled. Lastly, Sam would sit on the floor at the corner of the couch, right where he could set his head on your thighs. 

-This arrangement happened often and almost every time you would fall asleep amongst them. They didn’t mind it at all; they loved seeing your peaceful face and hearing your random mumblings.

-Bucky and Zemo were very uncultured when it came to movies, so you and Sam would introduce them to all your favorites. Those nights were full of popcorn, Cokes, and candies. They were also some of the rare times you would see the three boys cry. They could fight and shoot people all day long and be somewhat fine, but if a dog dies they’re done for.

-Cooking was another fun activity you four could do together. Sam would show you how to cook some of his mother’s favorite foods from Louisiana, and Zemo would teach you how to cook food native to Sokovia. Despite him coming from royalty, he could cook fairly well. 

-Each boy loves to steal you away for themselves sometimes. 

-Zemo does it most frequently. Every time he sees an opportunity he’ll try to get you into his room for the night or convince you to go out to eat with him or let him take you on a date. Zemo was very persuasive and charming, so you never said no. He pampered you every second you were with him, calling you a wide range of names, like “his queen.” He loved giving you things that he thought were nice or reminded him of you. You had rings, earrings, necklaces, and bracelets for every day of the week, plus some. You didn’t know how Bucky and Sam got Zemo to agree to share you. You could tell just how much he wanted you all to himself. He called you his even though you really weren’t. But he must have known this was the only way you would have agreed to be with him. You told them you weren’t going to choose between the three of them so they made it to where you didn’t have to.

-Bucky just wanted comfort. He wasn’t a selfish person, but whenever he was having trouble sleeping he would ask for your touch. He was so extremely gentle with you, and treated you like a porcelain doll. You would hold him and kiss him all night until he eventually drifted off. Outside of when he was trying to go to sleep he was always keeping a quiet eye on you. He had opened up significantly since you met him, but he still had times when he wouldn’t talk much. At other times he could be cocky, pulling you in by the waist and burying his face in your neck or calling you names like “doll” or “sweetheart” in a casual conversation or around other people.

-Sam was kind, and down to Earth. He was funny and caring, and a family man. When you spent the night in his room you would stay up all night talking and tracing patterns on his skin with your fingertips. You could talk to him for hours upon hours and never get bored. You could also say the same for Bucky and Zemo, but they weren’t quite as talkative and open. Sam’s favorite thing to do was take you places. He loved taking you on dates and experiencing things local to wherever you were at the time. Sam was also a dancer. If music came on you better believe that he was dragging you onto the dance floor. He could spin you around and dip you until the end of time. When you danced the air became electric. Bucky was kind of jealous of the way you two looked at each other when you were dancing.

NSFW

-Some time after the three of them decided to share you and not make you choose between them, the idea of a foursome was brought up. They were hesitant at first. Yes, you had had sex with each of them before, but it wasn’t exactly the same as them all sharing you in one moment.

-They brought up the idea with you and asked for your opinion. You agreed to try it out.

-It was one of the best decisions you’d ever made.

-Trying to please you was each of their goals, and it became somewhat of a friendly competition.

-They were gentle at first, pampering and praising you until it got rough. You would be left with hickeys and bite marks all over your body, many from Bucky.

-Zemo would always try to take charge and be the one inside you firstly and lastly. He loved seeing you unravel before him, succumbing to his cock.

-Sam was all about the mouth and hand action. Your face was his favorite thing to cum on after you had worked him up so much. His hands were on every free spot on your body at all times.

-Bucky would work you up first before any dick was put inside you. He knew you loved his metal hand, so he put it to good use. Every sound imaginable would fall from your lips because of him. When someone else was occupying your pussy he was massaging your thighs and boobs, or nibbling and sucking on the plush skin.

-Aftercare was absolute bliss with them. They would hurry to get you something to drink or a snack if you wanted, and would kiss you softly and whisper sweet words to you.

-“You did so good my queen,” Zemo would tell you, stroking your hair.

-“You treat us so well, doll,” Bucky would say, smiling gently at you.

-“Mhm,” Sam would agree. “You’re our special girl.”

#marvel cinematic universe #marvel fanfic #marvel #professorrw #fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #marveloneshot #avengers #avengers fanfiction #avengers fluff #avengers smut #avengers headcanon #avengers fic #zemo #helmut zemo #zemo x you #sam wilson #fatws #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes #bucky x you #winter soldier fanfiction #winter soldier smut #bucky barnes smut #sam wilson oneshot #sam wilson smut #zemo smut #zemo oneshot

[madwomansapologist]

welcome to my rules!

━ ✧ do not:

send an ask that you have already sent another writer; hurry me up; be disrespectful; ask to be mutuals; tell me to 'just search' something; be an asshole.

━ ✧ a tip:

read wips to know if i am working on your request, i try to update it often!

━ ✧ what i don't take requests:

eschatology (and of course this don't include menstruation); real people fiction; nsfw or sfw alphabets; racism; pet play; ass eating; pedophilia; homophobia; major character death; substance abuse.

━ ✧ what i do take requests:

fluff; smut; angst; au’s; imagines; headcanons; oneshots; shipps (details below).

━ ✧ character i don't write for:

john walker (fatws); arlong (op).

━ ✧ list of shipps:

queen maeve x starlight; faramir x éowyn; bilbo baggins x thorin; amy santiago x jake peralta; straw hat x straw hat (i'm on alabasta); bg3 x bg3; marcille donate x falin touden.

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

#the vampire diaries #the originals #marvel #dc comcis #a series of unfortunate events #community #pushing daisies #the good place #brooklyn nine nine #the addams family #the hunger games #percy jackson #good omens #the haunting of hill house #the haunting of bly manor #midnight mass #sandman #pride and prejudice #jane austen

[kangaracha]

MCU

TURN YOUR BACK ON MOTHER NATURE eternals; extra drukkari scenes, canon compliant; 10k AO3

AMONG THE DEATHLESS GODS eternals; zombie apocalypse au; 1k AO3

EXIT WOUNDS bucky barnes; pre-fatws. the days slide by more or less the same; 6k AO3

COME HOME bucky barnes; post-fatws. eventually, the war ends, and the soldier must come home; 5k AO3

FLIGHT OF THE ARROW, PULL OF THE EARTH hawkeye; clint and kate discuss their options, and the avengers; 1k A03

(DARLING, DON'T WAKE UP) wandavision; the right pietro comes to westbrook; 1k AO3

SPARROW imogen haylock has been lied to her entire life, including the moment that hydra wrap their fist around the world. clint barton is determined to set her straight; 63k AO3

FLICKER sequel to sparrow; imogen tries to be a normal person after a life of being not very normal at all. it doesn't work out; 21k AO3

---

MULTICHAPS

TO GO BEYOND YOUR BORDERS pokemon; amidst rumour and scandal, league champion angie sommars disappears from her home region of Sinnoh and runs away to Galar in search of a reprieve; 15k AO3

THE SLAUGHTER OF THE LAMBS assassin's creed 1; the only female assassin in the Levant, marwa grows up grappling with ideals of belief and morale, right and wrong and war and death - a tale told in four parts; 52k AO3

LINGER julie and the phantoms; julie discovers the consequences of actions she didn't realise she had taken, and a ghost war begins; 14k AO3

---

ONESHOTS

(STAY LOW, STAY LOW, STAY LOW) snowpiercer; the first weeks in the tail; 8k AO3

THE GOD OF NIGHT AND STARS descendants; it's supposed to be a party, but audrey can still feel the magic running through her veins. hades just wants some space; 2k AO3

ERRANDS descendants; celia runs into trouble, hades owes her a debt; 2k AO3

#mcu #assassins creed #pokemon #pokemon swsh #jatp #descendants #snowpiercer #masterlist #roo writes

[luke-o-lophus]

5, 16 and 18 for the fanfic writers ask

5. How many wips do you have? What fandoms/pairings are they for?

Hoo boi, that's a tough one. I have quite a few, some of them partially written, some of them just taking shape in my head, But this is a great opportunity to talk abt them and see which ones ya'll would be interested to read!

A. an old FATWS multi-chapter. Bucky/Reader annoyed colleagues to lovers, Sam/Reader friendship with pre-Endgame Steve/Reader. Unsure if I wanna make it a fix-it for EG!Steve or play with canon. Heavy on angst and h/c. It's unlikely I''ll go back to this, although there are some scenes that REALLY pull at my heart. Maybe I'll write those bits as drabbles?

B. Part 2 of Till the Candles Out. Marc Spector/Reader. Reader heals from injuries while they both heal from their shared past that's filled with misunderstandings. Fluffy with wound tending tropes, maybe light smut

C. Part 2 of When We Feel Young. I'm struggling with this one, but i really want Desi! Scholar!Reader x Scholar!Steven Grant meeting at a Conference and sweet domestic friends to lovers!!

D. A very angsty with fluffy ending Moon Boys/Reader where Elias Spector visits them at Steven's flat

E. A Steve Rogers/f!Reader post Infinity War fic where Reader sustains injuries in IW fight that leads to her temporarily losing the ability to walk, and the couple navigating the recovery. A prequel to the fic in A. or a standalone long oneshot

That's all that come to mind! There are a couple in the Asks that I don't really have an idea for at the moment.

16. Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop?

I prefer writing on laptops. HCs and small drabbles I might do on phone, but I prefer Lappy. I don't hand-write anymore, but I used to.

18. Do you enjoy research? Which fic of yours required the most research?

I actually try not to get too deep into research, because I know I'll lose my way in deep dives, overthink facts, and end up not writing. I do try to look up enough so that I am not disrespectful. Most of my stories focus more on the internal and on intimate actions, so I try not to think too much on say, whether the first aid I am describing is accurate or not. If facts become crucial to the plot, or such a strong presence that wrong facts will distract, I try to stick to fields that I already know a fair bit about, like in Ornithological and Other Oddities, or how I plan in When We Feel Young

Thank you so much for the ask!!!

#luke shares #asks #marvel fanfiction #fanfiction #marc spector x reader #steven grant x reader #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader

[peterpparkrr]

(Bucky Barnes x reader): Sessions

Summary: The reader goes to therapy, sees a new face. 

A/N: I’m gonna try and work through my writer’s block by posting little blurbs each week for FatWS - they’ll probably end up being Very short because y’know, it’s my final semester of college but I want to do something that’ll actually make me happy.

Dr. Gardiner said that it was normal. Well, not normal, exactly, but common. Apparently, it’s a common experience among those with complex PTSD to feel on edge, startled, even seemingly without reason. 

Unfortunately, that didn’t mean shit when you were standing in the waiting room, staring at the guy sitting in the blue chair in front of you. Sitting in your spot, the chair you’d decided was the best spot in the waiting room a long time ago, you could see everything from that chair, everyone who came in and out of the area. 

Talking to people has never been your strong suit, and initiating a conversation with a stranger? A man? A strange, scary-looking man? After everything you’d been through? 

But Dr. Gardiner wanted you to practice imitating small talk with strangers. It was part of the exposure therapy that she wanted you to try working through. 

“Hi,” You said quietly as you sat down on the other side of the waiting room, a few chairs over from the man. You didn’t look him in the eyes, but you let your eyes hover on the large painting behind him. 

He smiled at you but didn’t reply verbally. 

You breathed out a sigh of relief. That wasn’t so bad, now was it?

---

“I said hi to a man in the waiting room,” You tell your therapist as you try to get comfortable on the couch across from her.

“And?” Dr. Gardiner prompts you.

“A lot of Dr. Raynor’s patients are working through trauma too, right?” 

You knew they were, Dr. Raynor and Dr. Gardiner are both VA therapists. Dr. Gardiner had been appointed by the state as your therapist after-

Well, that’s not important right now.

“I assume so, but you know we don’t talk to each other or anyone else about your clients, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah, doctor-patient confidentially or whatever.” You tell her dismissively as you wave your hand around. 

But she just stares at you, silently encouraging you to continue with your story.

“He seemed different from the other vets that I usually see in the waiting room. He was less jittery. But it made me… I felt nervous. But I guess knowing he was probably just as fucked as I am made it so I didn’t feel so afraid.”

“I’m not sure what I would have done if he’d actually started a conversation with me.” You admit after a few moments. While you’d been doing Dr. Gardiner’s homework for a few weeks, you knew that in New York City of all places, the chances of anyone actually saying anything back to you were pretty low. Even if they looked friendly you couldn’t guarantee you’d even get a “hello” in return. 

“That’s alright, we can work up to that,” Dr. Gardiner tells you, “Other than your interaction in the waiting room, how was your week? Have the breathing exercises been working?”

“Kinda,” You lie. Of course, they’re not. Most of the stuff Dr. Gardiner tells you to do doesn’t work. The drugs cause just as many problems as they solve, and the breathing exercises, the homework, it makes you feel worse most of the time. But you can’t tell her that - it’s supposed to be helping. She’s supposed to be helping. 

“(Y/N), you need to be honest with me if this is supposed to work.”

“I just feel bad. I know it’s supposed to help, that it’s supposed to make me feel better, but it doesn’t.” You tell her, “I just can’t seem to calm myself down. No matter how hard I try.” 

“Maybe we can come up with some new exercises to try instead.”

“Yeah,” You nod as you look down at your hands, which you notice you’ve been wringing in your lap, seemingly without your awareness.

“We need to work together to come up with solutions, (Y/N), but I need you to be honest with me when things aren’t working, okay?”

“I… I just don’t want you to feel like you’re not doing a good job,” You shrug, “I know you’re trying to help, and I really do appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”

“Some things just don’t work, and we can try different ones, it’s no one fault. It’s not a failure when one of the solutions we come up with doesn’t work, it’s just part of the process to find a solution that does help.”

You don’t say anything, but nod. 

“This seems like another stuck point for you, (Y/N), now why do you think that is?”

“I don’t know,” You mutter

“Do you think there’s a reason that this brings up some really negative emotions for you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you think that maybe this perceived failure ties back to something that happened when you were-”

“Maybe I was fucked up before the kidnapping! I don’t know anymore! I just felt bad, why is that wrong?!” You shout.

“(Y/N), please calm down,” Dr. Gardiner says slowly as she looks up after your unexpected outburst with alarm.

“No! Maybe I’m tired of trying to make this situation feel okay because guess what? It’s not okay! Every day I have to live with what those guys did to me! I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t do anything, and you keep telling me that it’ll get better, but it’s not, if anything it’s getting worse. And I’m tired of pretending that I’m okay!”

As your screaming in Dr. Gardiner’s face, you don’t even realize you’re standing up now, but the room is too hot, and it’s starting to get way too small and you feel like you’re suffocating.

You can’t breathe all of a sudden and it’s all too much. You push your way out of her office.

As you stormed out of the office you nearly plowed directly into someone. The guy from earlier. Dr. Raynor’s patient.

“Whoa, hey, are you okay?” He asks as he reaches out to you.

“I’m fine!” You all but shout, “Don’t. Touch. Me.” You spit in his face as you rip your arm out of his grasp.

“Hey, hey,” Dr. Gardiner says as she comes rushing out behind you and leads you back towards her office, “Thank you, I’ve got her,” She says to the guy as she tries to herd you away from him.

“(Y/N)? (Y/N)? Can you hear me? We’re gonna try one of those new exercises now, okay? I’m going to need you to sit down for me.”

You all but collapse to the floor of the hallway as Dr. Gardiner starts to walk you through the breathing exercise and ground you again.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes headcanon #falcon and the winter soldier #fatws #fatws imagine #bucky barnes imagine #fatws fanfic #fatws reader insert #fatws oneshot

[make-me-imagine]

Take the Chance

Prompt: "I've never met anyone that has made me feel this way." Requested by: @gatefleet (one of your mystery prompt requests)

Plot: Bucky finally gets tired of hiding his feelings for Y/n + A bit of pining Bucky.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x GN!Reader

Warnings: None!

Words: 1.1k

General Taglist: @criminaly-supernatural, @caswinchester2000, @imaginesfire, @rexit-mo MCU/Bucky Taglist: @aquariuslavenderhoney, @trashywritestrash, @resplendentlady, @marvelouslyme96, @supersourlemon13, @mochamoff, @simsiddy, @peter-parkers-cullen-nerd, @flourishandblotts-inc, @cosplayingwitch

-

Bucky didn't realize how long he had been staring. Watching you as you worked, trying to get information for your recent mission. He was supposed to be oblivious, blending in, an ordinary face in the crowd. But he couldn't pull his eyes away from you.

The way you smiled and joked with the target, weaseling your way into his good graces, waiting for him to make a mistake. It was like torture to Bucky, he knew your smiles weren't genuine, the laughs weren't real, but he hated watching you with someone else.

When you smiled and laughed with Bucky, it made his heart swell, his palm sweat, and dare he say, gave him butterflies. But watching you act that way with someone else, fake or not, left a bad taste in his mouth, and a hollow feeling in his gut.

He could imagine you acting this way with someone else, genuinely, being with someone who isn't him. That thought alone made his heart ache. But he had no real right to feel that way, and he knew it. You weren't together, you weren't a couple. You had no idea Bucky felt this way about you, and that was his fault.

In the past, he would have had the confidence to walk up to you and tell you, but now, it seemed harder, almost impossible at times. Even with someone like you. Someone he knew inside and out. He could be happy with you. He could be comfortable, and safe. But did he deserve it yet?

"Bucky. BUCKY."

Bucky almost jumped at the loud voice in his ear. "What?" He asked with an aggravated whisper.

"Damn man, did you hear anything I said?" Sam's voice came through the comm again, obviously annoyed.

"No, I was busy."

"Yeah, busy burning holes into Y/n's head."

Bucky felt a chill run up his spine, and his ears heat up. Looking around with just his eyes, he finally spotted Sam across the building on an upper floor, leaning against the rail, looking down at him. He could clearly see the smirk on his face.

"I'm making sure he doesn't make us." Another lie.

"Yeah, right. You better hope he doesn't see the way you're staring, or he will make us."

"Shut up." Buck grumbled.

"Get up here man. You can stare at Y/n later."

Bucky rolled his eyes as he moved towards the stairs. Allowing himself to look back at you, he felt a small jolt run through him as his eyes met yours. You were watching him. Did you turn your ear comms back on? You didn't here that right? No, you took your comms off entirely, just in case. He felt a wave of relief wash over him.

As the target was distracted by a server, you spared a small smile, and a nod at Bucky. Returning the gesture, he let out a deep breath as he made his way to Sam.

He couldn't keep doing this. Thinking of you like this, wanting you to be his, but knowing you aren't. He needed to do something. He needed to take the chance.

--------- --------- ---------

"Are you alright Bucky?"

Bucky looked over at you, as your voice broke him from his thoughts. You were looking at him with a concerned look.

He cleared his throat "Uhm, yeah, why?"

"You've been super quiet ever since we got back from the mission."

Bucky looked ahead of you, he had decided to walk you to your car, with the determined though to ask you on a date before you left. But now, as your car grew closer and closer, he felt his confidence begin to falter.

"Uh, yeah, I just...got a lot on my mind."

"Anything I can help with?" You offered with a soft smile, making Bucky's heart palpitate.

You were now standing near your car, and you purposefully slowed down, hoping Bucky would open up a bit. You heard him take in a sharp breath as he stepped in front of you, facing you and leaning his arm on your car.

"I-I, uh."

You saw him shake his head a bit in frustration. You stepped closer, and leaned against your car. "Buck, what's going on?"

A small smile crossed his face as he let out a soft laugh. "I used to be good at this you know."

"Good at what?" You asked softly, your own heart picking up pace.

He met your eyes cautiously, and still held a soft smile on his face. He was clearly nervous as he spoke. "Asking people on dates."

You felt your heart leap, as your neck and ears felt hot. You bit your lip a bit as you repressed a grin. "You're trying to ask me on a date?"

"Trying, being the operative word, yeah." He lowered his head a bit as an almost embarrassed smile crossed his face. "I've been wanting to ask you for a while. I just- I've never met anyone that has made me feel this way. So I guess it scared me, in a way."

Your heart swelled in your chest as he spoke. "I'd love too."

Bucky's head shot up, "You would?"

You giggled softly. "Of course I would."

It seemed to Bucky, that for the first time, he was seeing how you looked at him. He was always so preoccupied with looking at you, thinking of you, how he felt about you, that he never really paid attention to how you looked at him. But now, it hit him, that the way you were looking at him, a smile on your face, eyes lit up. That you were looking at him, the same way he looks at you.

A smile stretched along is face as he spoke softly. "Great. I- uh, tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow's good."

"Alright. I'll text you the time okay?"

"Is that your subtle way of saying you didn't think past this point?"

He let out a laugh. "Yeah, maybe" he nodded.

You giggled. "Alright, text me. I'll be ready."

Bucky stepped back as you unlocked your car. He pulled the door open for you, and as you began to get in, you stopped and looked back at him. He stared at you expectantly, waiting for you to say something.

As you quickly leaned forward, and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, he felt his body freeze for a moment. "See you tomorrow."

Coming back to his senses, he closed the door as you settled in your seat.

Bucky smiled and waved at you as you began to leave. His heart was beating so heavily in his chest it was almost hard to breath. His thoughts were so preoccupied, he didn't realize that he had probably one of the biggest smiles on his face in years.

"Tomorrow." He whispered softly to himself.

Suddenly realization began to seep in. Tomorrow. And he had nothing planned. You were right, he didn't think past this point.

"Shit."

Thinking abut the possibilities, he realized he didn't know the area well enough, he'd have to do research. Or, he could ask Sam. No, maybe not. He'd think of something. Something amazing, he'd sweep you off your feet.

Hopefully.

xx End xx

#Bucky Barnes #Bucky Barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes/Reader #marvel #mcu #avengers #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes imagine #falcon and the winter soldier #fatws x reader #fatws imagine #marvel imagine #avengers imagine #fluff #pining #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes/you #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x y/n #avengers x reader #mystery prompt challenge

[sjsmith56]

Aliens, Androids, and Wizards or The Best First Date Ever

Summary - Bucky agrees to a last minute date for a gallery opening that all the Avengers are expected to attend. On the way there the date gets interrupted by the arrival of an invasion force of aliens, androids and wizards, also known as “The Big Three.”

Length - 2.7K

Characters - Bucky Barnes, named female character, Sam Wilson, Uber driver.

Warnings - slightly grumpy Bucky, mild swearing, violence towards aliens and androids.

Author notes - Silly little story about rising to the occasion.

👽 🤖 🧙‍♂️

The two men were the last ones out of the quinjet and sat in the quiet after the others went on their ways. As the de facto leaders of the new incarnation of the Avengers they were the first ones on and the last ones off. They led by example and that included the extra obligations that went with the job, even the short ones that took hours instead of days or weeks.

“So, tonight’s the big night,” stated Sam, as he packed the suit away in its case.

“Mmmph,” grunted Bucky, as he finished packing his guns in his satchel. He would take them to the armoury and clean them up there before putting them into storage.

“You are going to the gallery opening, aren’t you?” asked the other man. “Pepper wants us all there and you committed to going. I heard you.”

“I know but my date cancelled,” replied the dark-haired super soldier. “Texted me this morning that she didn’t want to be on display. Can’t say I blame her.” He sighed. “I’m not cut out for publicity, Sam. I don’t enjoy meeting new people. Took me three weeks to work up the courage to ask Dana to the opening. Now she doesn’t even want me calling her anymore for coffee.”

Sam put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder in commiseration. He really had made an effort asking Dana out with Sam’s coaching. Standing up the two men made their way off of the aircraft and Bucky activated the control that raised the ramp, then locked access to it. After an hour cleaning his weapons he hit the showers, standing under the hot water and letting it run down his back as he contemplated picking up some takeout, going home, and watching a new movie on TV. Old movie to everyone else, but likely a movie he missed out on when it came out after his fall. He was surprised to see Sam still in the dressing room when he came out with a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Do you have your suit here?” he asked. “I found you a date.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “I don’t need your help in setting up a blind date,” he complained.

“It’s not a blind date,” replied Sam. “You know her. Her date cancelled as well.”

“Who?”

“Kelly from Logistics,” said Sam.

“Mouse?” Bucky rolled his eyes. “She’s afraid of everyone and everything.”

“She’s nice, just a little on the shy side. I already asked if she would go with you, and she said yes. You going to make me a liar?”

With an aggravated sigh Bucky pulled his locker door open and unzipped his suit bag. Shooing Sam away so he had some privacy he put his dress suit on, an all-black ensemble which he knew would draw some teasing, but he didn’t care. He felt comfortable wearing all black and the public liked seeing him in it, according to the PR people. Finishing adjusting the tie he locked the locker and put his jacket on, checking himself in the mirror before heading to the locker room door. When he exited, he was surprised to see Kelly standing by herself in the foyer by the elevator, looking nice, wearing a blue dress with a flowing skirt.

“Cap had to pick up his date,” she said, a little anxiously. “Thanks for doing this. I kind of have to be there, but crowds make me nervous.”

“Why?” Bucky noticed she winced slightly at the tone of his voice, so he coughed a little and asked again, a little quieter. “Why do you have to be at the art gallery?”

“One of my pieces is in it,” she answered. “I have social anxiety and I take art therapy. Pepper said it fit the theme of the gallery exhibit, Healing Through Art.”

“Right,” he replied. He should have remembered that as Pepper had tried to interest him in contributing something, somehow knowing he had taken art therapy. “We’ll have to get an Uber. I only had my motorcycle here.”

Gesturing for her to proceed ahead of him they went to the elevator while Bucky requested an Uber on his phone. He kept glancing at the shorter woman, noticing that her hair had a pleasant auburn colour. Normally she wore it in a low pony tail but it hung loosely about her shoulders tonight.

“So, why did your date cancel?” he asked, after they stepped into the elevator car.

She looked down and sighed. “He wasn’t a date. He was my boyfriend and we broke up. I found out he was cheating on me.”

Her face was so forlorn that Bucky felt bad for bringing it up. “I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “That’s a terrible thing to find out on what should be an exciting day for you.”

“Thanks, but I’m not surprised,” she said. “He always told me I was too quiet and reserved for my own good. I like staying home and watching movies while curled up on the couch.”

“Me too. Took me three weeks to work up the courage to ask my date out and she cancelled on me this morning. Said not to call her again. Something about always being in the public eye if she dated me. She wasn’t wrong.”

Kelly looked up. “She didn’t want to be seen with you?” She shook her head in disbelief. “I mean look at you. You’re like a male model, especially when you dress up. You look really good in that suit.”

Her words made him feel warm inside. It was then he noticed her eyes were hazel in colour.

“Thank you. You look nice as well. Blue is one of my favourite colours, especially when a pretty girl … sorry bad habit, pretty woman wears it.”

Kelly blushed but flashed him a smile that warmed him up even more. The elevator doors opened at the same time the Uber driver texted that he was outside. Quickly they headed out the door and into the waiting car. Giving him the address of the gallery Bucky sat back and looked out the window. As they got closer, they noticed that the traffic became significantly heavier before the Uber driver was forced to stop, unable to get out of the massive traffic jam. He looked at his phone to see what the holdup was. Turning around he looked at Bucky.

“You’re an Avenger, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Something’s going on in Times Square and it’s stopping traffic everywhere in Manhattan,” he said. “You might want to check on it.”

Checking the Avengers app on his phone that kept them all updated on anything that needed their attention Bucky swore at the message that Sam sent him moments before.

Sam: Guess what just hit New York? The big three, Bucky. THE BIG THREE! Have you left yet? We need weapons. I need the suit.

He turned to Kelly. “There’s trouble,” he said. “According to Sam it’s aliens, androids, and wizards.”

“The big three,” she whispered. “What can I do?”

“Do you think you can go back to the Tower and bring Cap’s suit, the shield and some weapons? I can authorize you to get to our things. Friday will let you in.” He looked at the Uber driver. “What’s your name? Can you go with her and bring back something for us to fight with?”

“Darius and hell yes!”

Bucky looked at Kelly, who everyone called Mouse because she always seemed so shy and timid. Her face was softly lit up by the streetlights, but she looked at him with determination.

“I can go back and get what you need,” she agreed. “Where should I bring them?”

He texted Sam, telling him the plan and waited for a response. While he waited, he made up a list of what to bring for Kelly, texting that to her when she gave him her number. Finally, Sam responded, and Bucky told Darius to bring everything to Bryant Park. As he prepared to get out of the car Kelly put her hand on his.

“Bucky, be careful,” she said.

“You, too, little Mouse,” he grinned, making her blush again.

Taking off from the vehicle he ran towards the commotion soon finding himself in the thick of it. A strange alien aircraft was hovering over Times Square with alien beings streaming out from it, accompanied by android creatures that unfolded into something larger when they landed. Dr. Strange, Wong and Wanda were there, dealing with the alien wizards that seemed to be the puppet masters, directing the beings who were fighting with the other Avengers already on the scene. Most of the Avengers were in formal dress, wielding lamp posts, stanchions and whatever else they could put their hands on. Seeing an android grab Kate Bishop, Bucky launched himself at the being, tearing his head off in the process and using it to bash another one who came close.

“Glad you joined the fight,” yelled Sam. “We have to get people away from Times Square. Too many of them are getting in the way.”

“Good luck with that,” Bucky yelled back. “It’s a free show, Sam. Everyone likes that. Besides, we have to get to Bryant Park to get our gear. We just have to get the big three to follow us.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Who’s watching their aircraft?” Sam looked at Bucky as if he were crazy.

“You think you can fly it?”

“I’ve flown lots of different aircraft,” replied Bucky, as he reached out with his vibranium arm and clotheslined another android, then ripped his arms off to use them as weapons. “They all work on the same principle. If I can steal their aircraft, they should follow it and try to get it back.”

“Let’s go then!” cried Sam and the two men began moving towards the alien aircraft, dealing with any of the androids and aliens that blocked their path.

As it was still hovering a good thirty feet up in the air Bucky asked for an assist from Sam. They had done it many times before when Sam was wearing the flying suit, but this was the first time they were trying it in civilian clothes, without the power assist that Sam’s suit could provide. Taking a run towards his partner Bucky timed his steps to place his right foot in Sam’s interlaced hands at the same time he lifted upwards with all of his strength. It was just enough for the super soldier to grasp the underside of the aircraft then he pulled himself to the cockpit window where an alien at the controls looked with surprise at the sight of Bucky just outside. Before he could react, Bucky punched through the window with his vibranium hand and grabbed the alien by what he assumed was his throat. Pulling the being through the window and letting him drop to the ground Bucky scrambled inside and dealt with another couple of aliens that rushed him before turning to the controls and figuring them out. Slowly he piloted the aircraft towards Bryant Park, drawing the attention of the other aliens and androids into following him.

“Bucky has control of the spacecraft!” yelled Sam to the others. “Force them to go to Bryant Park.”

Slowly, the combined Avengers herded the aliens and androids towards the open space of Bryant Park. It took some time to finally get there but the Uber car was nowhere to be seen. Bucky cursed, realizing they were probably still stuck in traffic.

“Weren’t they supposed to be here?” asked Sam. Where are they?”

Bucky shook his head. “Maybe caught in traffic?”

Both were interrupted by another rush of aliens and androids attacking them. Where they were coming from wasn’t evident as the ship that Bucky commandeered definitely wasn’t big enough to hold that many bodies. Suddenly they were both surprised by the appearance of the quinjet, which landed on an open space in the park. Both men ran towards the aircraft, waiting as the back ramp lowered. At the top of the ramp were Kelly and Darius, both of them loaded down with weapons.

“We had to run back, and Friday found out the roads were all blocked, so she unlocked the quinjet for us and piloted us here,” said Kelly. “We brought everything.”

Sam ran up the ramp and opened his flying suit container. Quickly removing his clothes, he slipped into his suit as Kelly and Darius brought the weapons down the ramp for everyone else. Bucky took his suit jacket and shirt off, replacing it with a singlet and his leather jacket with his built-in knife sheaths. Picking up some knives and his M249 SAW Paratrooper he strode down the ramp. Stopping beside Kelly he locked eyes with her.

“Well done,” he said, smiling, then he continued down the ramp and began to defend while the others took weapons into their hands.

Within moments they were all armed and spread themselves around the quinjet firing at the remaining aliens and androids, while Dr. Strange, Wong, and Wanda renewed their battles with the wizards that had brought the attack to earth. It was like the most fantastic lightning show of all time as bolts of energy flew out of their fingertips pushing the wizards back and up towards a newly created portal that opened above them. With bullets flying and furious hand to hand combat the other Avengers succeeded in pushing the remaining enemies into a tight group below their elevated wizards.

Darius and Kelly stood on the ramp watching the battle from their vantage point, laughing and cheering on the Avengers, until the two sorcerers and the Scarlet Witch were able to send the enemy force up into the portal and close it behind them, sending them into a void dimension with no chance of return. As soon as that portal closed there was a moment, after all the firearms had stopped firing, and the lightning bolts of magic stilled, where there was no sound at all, except for the far off sounds of car horns blaring from drivers still unaware what had caused the traffic gridlock. Then a great cheer started erupting from the perimeter of Bryant Park. As more of the crowd from Times Square descended on the park the cheers were accompanied by applause as the onlookers raced towards where the Avengers stood, catching their breath after the unexpected battle. Their dress clothes were torn and ripped, and most of them were splattered with the odd coloured blood of the aliens or the dark oily residue left from the destruction of the androids but all of them had that look on their face of satisfaction at a successful mission. Bucky looked behind him, seeing Kelly and Darius watching from the ramp. Raising his arm he waved them over. Kelly stood beside him, and he put his arm around her, holding her close to his side.

“You two saved the day,” he said, loud enough for her to hear over the sound of cheering. “But we didn’t get our date.”

“Are you kidding?” asked Kelly. “How many girls like me get to be involved in a battle helping the Avengers? It was the best first date ever.” Her eyes sparkled. “It’s not even 10 o’clock. The night’s still young.”

Bucky took a deep breath. “Why don’t we go back to the Tower, change into something more comfortable and go for a drink. You up for that?”

She nodded and he suddenly had the urge to kiss her. Good thing she had the urge to kiss him back and they met somewhere in the middle. When they broke apart Bucky made eye contact with Sam, who grinned knowingly at him. Normally it would have irritated Bucky to no end, but he felt good about what just happened. It was the best first date ever for him as well and the nicest part about it was that it wasn’t over yet. The possibilities were endless.

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#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #buckybarnes original female character #fatws bucky #sam wilson #alien invasion #aliensandroidsandwizards #first date #bucky barnes oneshot

[b6cky]

sleepy

bucky always struggled to get to sleep, but y/n always tried to stay awake as long as he did.

SYNOPSIS: y/n is extremely sleepy and tries to stay awake, but has a habit of being affectionate and sentimental when they are tired. bucky loves every bit of it.

PAIRING: bucky barnes x gn!reader ( they / them )

TAGLIST: @inu1gf @sp1deys ( send an ask if you want to be added!! )

WARNINGS: short oneshot, mentions of cheetah incest (?)

author’s note: THIS IS SO SHORT IM RLLY SORRY

“doll, i already told you not to wait up for me…” bucky whispered softly, as he climbed into the bed next to his partner, who was clearly hanging onto consciousness for dear life by reading something on their phone. bucky assumed it was a dumb article about the ‘top ten cutest, but deadly animals’, but bucky didn’t care enough to read the article title before he took the phone from their hands and turned it off.

“heyy.. i was readin’ that…” y/n whined, not bothered to even mask how tired they were.

“darlin’, you can’t keep waiting for me every night,” he said softly, plugging y/n’s phone into the charger.

“‘m not ev’n… tired, bucky,” y/n lazily smiled at him, as he turned back to look at them. he shuffled under the covers and pulled y/n close to him.

“c’mon doll, get some rest,” he muttered, relaxing as their soft fingers traced patterns into the fabric of his t-shirt.

“y’know… i love you.. love you so much,” y/n mumbled against his shoulder, letting the sleep reveal their every thought.

“yeah?” bucky smiled, “that’s good, doll, i love you too.”

“no.. no, nono, you don’t get it…” y/n shook their head sleepily, “i am soo… in love with you… sometimes, sometimes it’s scary.. like ‘m j’st lookin’… at ya… and my chest hurts.. ‘m like fuck, this is it! this… this is … how i die man… but then ‘m just like… oops! that’s j’st how muchh… i love you.”

bucky’s heart swelled at y/n’s rambling and just listened to them go on about their love for him, occasionally chiming in with a ‘yeah?’, or a ‘love you too’.

“bucky…” y/n whispered.

“yes, doll?”

“um.. you.. did you know.. that cheetahs are like.. all almost genetically.. identical?” y/n yawned in between their words, barely awake enough to have a conversation, but bucky was intrigued now.

“cheetahs are what?” he furrowed his brows, a small smile spreading across his face, as y/n sleepily looked up at him.

“yeah.. sad stuff..” y/n mumbled, “they are all inbred.. they’re like… the alabama of the … what’s it called? animal dome..”

“animal kingdom, honey,” bucky chuckled.

“yeah, yeah… animal kingdom… they’re inbred, so .. they aren’t .. genetically diverse, so y’know… they’re all clones.. fucked up genes,” y/n paused, their eyebrows furrowing together slightly, “that is so fucked… up.. that’s j’st so.. fucked up, so sad..”

“it is sad, now let’s get some rest,” bucky head y/n closer to him, as much as he would love to listen to their sleep deprived rambles, he knew they’d regret staying up to talk about how cheetahs were slowly becoming inbred because of incest.

“if i was.. a fucked up lil’ cheetah.. would you still love me?” y/n questioned, their eyes starting to get too heavy to open.

“that depends.. am i a cheetah in this scenario?” bucky asked.

“mm… yeah.. don’ want m’ boy wanting … to fuck a cheetah…”

bucky held back a laugh and shook his head, “well, if we were both cheetahs, we’d be related, so no. i don’t want you being a cheetah, i want you, doll, not cheetah you.”

“shit… i forgot they were inbred..” y/n whispered.

“yeah, now get to sleep, doll.” bucky whispered.

“okay, night night..” y/n mumbled.

after a few minutes of silence between the two, bucky had thought y/n was sound asleep, but they piped up with another question.

“i hope neither of us were cheetahs in our past lives, that’d be awkward.”

“i love you, doll, but it’s three in the morning.”

“my bad.”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky #bucky barnes x gn!reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x gnc!reader #bucky barnes x reader fluff #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes hc #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes tfatws #bucky barnes fatws

[bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky]

The World Stopped Moving | Bucky Barnes x Reader

Hi, friends! Please have some angsty angst.

If you like what you read, please reblog so that others can find my stuff! 🥰

Warnings: blood, injuries, injured reader, talk of death

“And all your friends are mine, They know that we're nothing alike,

So if they believe that we're meant to be, I'd like to think they're right.

But when the world stopped moving, You weren't by my side- And that didn't feel right”

The tile was cold against your skin, but grew warmer as blood pooled around you. The once sterile, white floor slowly grew a sickly red, the bloody ooze overtaking the pristine aesthetic. Each intake of breath burned angrily in your chest, your broken ribs screaming in protest.

Bucky’s body lay just inches from yours, his own blood rushing from his body. With all the strength you had left, your fingers reached for him, twitching in search of his outstretched hand.

“Buck…” you breathed, “Talk to m-me.”

The simple words robbed all remaining energy from your body. Black spots sparkled on the edges of your vision, the room refused to stop spinning. It took you a few moments to collect yourself.

“M’okay, sweetheart”, Bucky lied through gritted teeth, “just need to… need to r-rest a minute”.

He elongated his fingers as much as he could, brushing the tips of yours ever so slightly. The touch brought a weak smile to your lips. His warm, blood-slick fingers resting against yours banished all fear from your body. Bucky was there with you, he was by your side- and the two of you prepared to leave this life together. His blood mixed with yours, the two swirling in a macabre illustration of your love.

Bucky was your whole heart, and you were his. Inseparable since the moment you joined the team, the two of you fell hard and fast. One more than one occasion, different members of the team referred to you and Bucky as being “meant to be”. It was uncanny how you seemed to find one another at exactly the right moment, providing the other with exactly they needed.

Bucky trusted you with his deepest, most shameful secrets- and eventually, his life. He often called you the love of his life, crediting you with giving him a reason to push on each day. The brave battle he fought against the demons in his head inspired you daily, forcing you to face your own issues with the knowledge that he was there to help you through. He always swore that he couldn’t live without you and you said the same, knowing that losing him would tear your heart from your chest.

And as the two of you laid sprawled on the floor of the Hydra base, each slowly bleeding to death, part of you felt relief- at least you’d never have to live without each other.

“B… baby-” The blood filling Bucky’s mouth made speaking difficult, and the lack of oxygen from his collapsed lungs had him seeing stars, but he had to at least try to tell you once last time.

He used every remaining ounce of strength to turn and look at you, his bloodshot blue eyes already looking glassy and vacant, “I l-love…you”.

A dark vignette grew around your periphery, tainting the edges a foreboding shade of black. “I-I love you, t-too… Barnes. Al-always”.

Bleeding to death never made the top of your list when you thought about the most ideal ways to die, but watching the life slowly leave Bucky’s body was worse than anything you’d ever imagined. And if he was going to die, at least you’d follow moments later. An intense pounding filled your skull, no doubt a side effect of the lack of blood and limited oxygen, but it was almost too loud- and how was the sound echoing in the hallway?

A fast-moving shadow appeared in your periphery and you swore it was a Hydra operative come to finish the job- until you heard a familiar voice.

A quiet “holy shit…” fell involuntarily from Sam’s lips as he arrived upon the gory scene. Two of his very best friends lay before him, surely on the brink of death.

“S-Sam…” Bucky groaned, a new energy suddenly filling his soon to be lifeless body, “take her. N-now”.

Sam stared at Bucky- unable to move, to breathe, to think.

“T-take her… please.”

Bucky struggled for his words but fought like hell to get them out. He needed Sam to carry you out and get you the help you needed, even if it meant leaving him there to die alone.

Sam snapped out of his horrified trance and rushed to your side, almost slipping in the pool of blood that surrounded you. His arms reached under your limp body, pulling you into his chest and lifting you from what you thought would be your makeshift deathbed.

“Sam… N-no”, you tried with no success to wriggle from his grasp, “Bucky. He… he needs h-help”.

Sam’s eyes flicked to Bucky, his best friend, toeing the line between life and death. Losing a friend in battle was all too familiar to him; images of Riley falling out of the sky covered him in goosebumps. With a shake of his head he cleared the haunting memory and yanked himself back to the present.

He wished he could get both of you out at the same time, wished that the comms weren’t blown so that he could call for back up. He couldn’t just leave Bucky there. He couldn’t abandon him in his last moments on earth, dying on the floor of a Hydra base like he’d always feared- but Bucky insisted.

“Sam- Now. G-go… please”, Bucky’s weak voice barely cut through the cacophony that filled the building, but he did the best he could- your life depended on it.

His strength drained from his body rapidly; he knew he had only moments left. And he chose to spend them convincing Sam to save you instead of himself.

With a somber nod, Sam turned away from Bucky and took off down the hall, carrying you away from the love of your life.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to end. Bucky wasn’t supposed to die just so you could live. And you weren’t supposed to live without him. You couldn’t. You wouldn’t.

“No, n-no, Sam…”, you rasped, “Bucky… Please, s-save him”.

But Sam paid you no mind. He carried out Bucky’s last wish with fierce determination, removing you from the building as fast as he possibly could.

Bucky’s bloody body grew smaller and smaller as Sam rushed you down the hall. It hit you all at once that this was the last time you’d ever see him alive- this was the last image you’d have of him: bloody, broken, and suffering all alone.

Sorrow and grief only added to the deep ache in your bones, and you swore that leaving Bucky behind hurt worse than your multiple gunshot wounds. The vignette around your vision grew stronger, overtaking your sight all at once and plunging you into an intense- and welcome- sleep. If you couldn’t be with Bucky, dying was the next best choice. Without Bucky, your world stopped moving.

A quiet, steady beeping sound entered your consciousness, welcoming you back to the land of the living. An intense throbbing pushed against the inside of your skull, the pressure forcing a groan from your lips. Sam whipped his head in your direction, his heart lurching at your first sign of life in days. He rushed toward your bed but stopped dead in his tracks when his gaze fell upon your hand.

He watched as you struggled to stretch it outward, reaching for something- someone- who was no longer by your side. Sam’s heart shattered. He couldn’t imagine what it must’ve felt like to be forced away from the love of your life as he lay dying, knowing that you’d never see him again.

“S… Sam?” your voice came out a hollow sound, raspy from days of disuse.

Sam watched you slowly scan the room, no doubt looking for Bucky. The first and only time you’d been sent to the medbay, Bucky practically lived in your room. He badgered doctors for updates and asked every question under the sun. He was your advocate, your protector. He refused to leave your side for even a moment, and resisted sleep for as long as he could- only surrendering when his body gave out.

With Bucky nowhere to be found, a sweeping sensation of uneasiness blanketed you. Something felt off- something wasn’t right. Sam noticed your expression fall and took a seat on the edge of your bed, trying to ease you into the happenings of the mission.

“Hey… you’re okay. Let me-” he began, but the grisly memories flooded your brain before he had the chance to continue:

Blood- lots of it- pooling around your body. And Bucky’s.

Bucky struggling to breathe.

Using his last bit of strength begging Sam to save you.

His lifeless body disappearing as Sam carried you away.

The steady, even beeping of your heart monitor grew rapid all at once, alerting your care team down the hall.

“Woah, hey- hey, listen to me, okay?” Sam tried to talk to you, to get you calmed down and ease your mind, but it was too late.

Tears streaked down your face and your abdomen ached, your broken ribs throbbing as your chest rapidly rose and fell. Grief hit you like a truck, forcing the oxygen from your lungs, as you realized- Bucky was gone.

A team of doctors and nurses burst into your room and forced Sam from your side as they hurriedly assessed you'd condition. A doctor shouted for someone to administer a syringe full of sedative into your IV, much to your relief. There didn’t seem to be a point in remaining awake if Bucky was dead, and you quickly surrendered to the encroaching darkness.

Sam protested your sudden sedation, arguing that he could’ve calmed you down if they’d just given him the chance. He watched helplessly as you submitted to the effects of the drug. And when the care team dissipated, he resumed his place by your side, formulating a game plan as he waited for you to wake. If he could just get you to listen to him next time you woke up, he’d surely be able to set your mind at ease.

His fingers anxiously fidgeted with the zipper of his jacket as he regretted not speaking up sooner. He kicked himself for not leading with the most important information- that Bucky was alive.

Sam waited for hours. He hovered over you, searching for his opportunity to ease your mind. But his body begged for rest. He slouched in a chair next to your hospital bed, teetering on the edge of sleep- but he refused to surrender. He forced himself to stay awake until you opened your eyes once more.

He pushed himself out of the chair and paced the length of your room, shaking the exhaustion from his body. A small stirring of your foot caught his eye and sparked hope in his chest, sending him flying to your side. He waited for your eyelids to flutter open, revealing your bloodshot eyes. He didn’t let you speak this time, and instead launched into the news that he’d waited too long to reveal.

“Bucky’s alive,” he studied your face, watching a flood of emotions color your expression. “I know you thought he was a goner- so did I. But Nat and Hill saved the day. They dragged him out right after I left with you. He’s okay.”

Flashbacks of the horror scene at the Hydra base splattered across the inside of your eyelids. Bucky’s blood leaking steadily over the floor. His labored breathing. The cold, pallid color of his face- there was no way he survived even a few seconds after Sam carried you away. Bucky himself knew he was dying, knew the serum wasn’t enough to save him this time.

“Don’t Sam”, the steady beeping of your heart monitor crept upward again, “don’t do that to me. I know he didn’t- didn’t make it”. Anxiety and grief forced sharp, shallow breaths into your lungs, sending pain radiating from your broken ribs.

“But he did- he’s alive. He survived- I swear. Look at me,” Sam gingerly took your face in his hands, careful not to cause you any more pain. “I wouldn’t lie to you about this- I swear on my life that he’s okay”.

Sam held his breath, waiting to see if you believed him. A deep exhale left his chest as he heard the beeping of your heart monitor fall back to a regular pace.

“He’s pretty beat up, but healing every day. Two collapsed lungs, a few broken vertebrae, six…maybe seven gunshot wounds, lost a lot of blood- he really did seem dead. But the doctor said he should be awake soon.”

Without thinking, you shot up in bed. If Bucky was alive, you needed to find him as quickly as you possibly could. The part of your brain in charge of logic and reasoning must’ve still been sedated, because you didn’t pause even a second to think about your injuries. Pain ripped through you, radiating from seemingly every cell in your body. An agonized groan ripped through you, making Sam grimace.

“Yeah- maybe don’t do that…” Sam joked as he helped you lay back down, “you’re not doing too hot, either”. His hand found the red button clipped to your blanket and pushed it, sending a dose of pain relief flowing through your IV.

“I’m definitely gonna forget some stuff, cause it’s a long-ass list, but doc said you’ve got broken ribs, a broken scapula and clavicle, concussion, two gunshot wounds, about a thousand stitches and staples… a shit-load of blood transfusions…” He paused a moment to search his memory for the rest of your afflictions, but came up empty. He shrugged, “point is: you can’t just jump up and run to Bucky’s side. You need to take it easy.”

The medicine eased your pain, but you experienced no relief- that would only come once you saw Bucky again.

“But I wanna be with him…” you stared up at Sam, your pleading eyes melting his heart.

He gave you a “one sec” and stepped into the hall, conferring with your care team. Without Bucky there to advocate for you, Sam stepped up. He begged them to let you see Bucky, reasoning that reuniting with the love of your life would only aid in your recovery. And they listened.

“Alright, we’re movin’ out,” Sam announced, striding confidently through the door, “we’re gonna move you into Bucky’s room”.

With that, a team of doctors and nurses flowed through the door, checking your vitals and assessing your multiple IVs as they prepared to transport you down the hall.

Bucky’s room was eerily silent, save for the beeping of his heart monitor. Nat snored quietly in a chair near the window, not even stirring when the care team wheeled your bed into the room.

Upon seeing Bucky’s unconscious body, you forgot how to breathe. His cheeks were rosy and his breathing even, a stark contrast to the pale skin and labored inhales you’d observed a few days ago. Still, you weren’t sure it was real. Part of you wondered if this was all Wanda’s doing, her way of saving you from the grief of losing Bucky.

But all doubt vanished as soon as you touched him. His warm fingers sent relief flooding through your body, assuaging any lingering worries for his well-being. You laced your fingers in between his, locking your hands together with no intention of letting go.

A pained groan pushed through your gritted teeth as you tried your hardest to get closer to him. But a hand on your shoulder stopped your attempt.

“Alright, careful- don’t push it,” Sam cautioned, concern furrowing his brow, “You’re both way too fucked up. Hand holding it the limit for right now”.

You didn’t care if hand holding was the limit forever if it meant that Bucky was alive. With his hand resting in yours, all was finally right with the world.

Bucky stirred, his agonized sigh sending a rush of anxiety through your chest.

His consciousness returned slowly, one sense at a time. His mouth still tasted like pennies; the unpleasant, coppery flavor lingered with no signs of dissipating. He was stiff and sore, but somehow alive. By all accounts, it didn’t make sense. He’d been certain as he laid on the floor of that Hydra base that he was bleeding to death- and if that didn’t do the job, his pair of collapsed lungs would surely do him in.

Bucky never feared his own death and had even prayed for it at one time or another, but yours was different. Watching your face slowly drain of all vibrance caused him more pain than any of the torture he’d endured under Hydra. He remembered reaching for you, ignoring the sharp pain that shot down his spine, and brushing your fingers with his. It brought him a small comfort in what he assumed were his- and your- last moments.

He remembered telling you that he loved you. That was all he needed- he needed you to know how he felt. But as blood pooled in his mouth and his deflated lungs failed, he couldn’t declare the entire expanse of his love. So he settled for the three simple words and made sure that he poured every ounce of feeling into them- and then he was ready. He was ready to depart this earth with you by his side.

And then Sam showed up.

He remembered practically forcing Sam to leave him behind, begging him to save your life instead of his. It wasn’t in Sam’s nature to abandon an injured soldier in the field, and Bucky knew it went against everything Sam stood for- but he needed you to be saved. He needed you to live.

His eyes opened slowly, his gaze immediately falling upon Sam. With a quick yank, he pulled his hand from yours and mumbled something that sounded like “let go of my hand, Sam”.

Sam’s laughter filled the room, waking Nat and pulling Bucky through his cloud of grogginess.

���Dude-“ Sam brandished both his hands at Bucky, “not my hand”.

Bucky’s head whipped in your direction, a sharp pain shooting up his spine at the quick movement- but he didn’t care. His tired blue eyes stared at your bruised face and immediately filled with tears.

“I’ll give y’all some privacy…” Sam quickly headed for the door, followed by a still sleepy Nat.

Bucky struggled to move closer to you, his battered body screaming in protest at even the slightest twitch of a muscle.

“Buck- don’t. It’s okay. We’re both, in Sam’s words, ‘way too fucked up’. Just rest, okay?” your thumb smoothed over his knuckles, soothing him like you always did.

The two of you stared at each other wordlessly, both in disbelief that the other was alive. Bucky refused to blink, fearing that if he shut his eyes for even a second, you'd vanish. But your warm hand nestled in his grounded him, gave him the reassurance that you were really there by his side.

But the moment was marred by a heavy dose of guilt dropping into your chest.

“Buck, I feel like I abandoned you…” your voice broke, sending a few tears flowing freely down your cheeks, “I didn’t want to- I asked Sam not to, but-” Bucky raised a metal finger, stopping you from speaking.

“I know, but I wanted him to-”

“And you were just gonna die there? Alone?”

Bucky nodded, wincing a bit as pain shot through his neck. “If given the choice between saving myself or saving you, I’m always gonna choose you”.

You rolled your eyes at him- seemingly the only motion that didn’t hurt. “And I’m always gonna choose you”, you argued. “Baby, I know you just wanted me to get help but… watching you lay there all by yourself was just-”

Sorrow burned in your chest as the image of Bucky’s battered body surfaced behind your eyes. His once strong form lying crumpled on the floor, weak and bloody, barely hanging on.

Tears stung your eyes and flowed freely down your cheeks, “that’s the most hopeless I’ve ever felt. I was… I was okay with dying there. We were together. And then I had to watch you slowly disappear as Sam carried me out- knowing I wouldn't be there with you when you..." but you couldn't say the words. "Knowing that you'd be alone when the time came. That made me wish I was dead.”

Bucky shrugged, the quick motion drawing a whine from his lips. “I can’t- I’m not gonna apologize, sweetheart. I wasn’t gonna let you die there. I’ve lived more than my share of years- I needed to make sure you had the chance to do the same.”

“Well, I begged Sam to save you instead- and he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t listen to me”.

Bucky wheezed with strained laughter, his chest aching as he tried to catch his breath. Of course you’d tried to swap your life for his, and of course Sam had refused.

“That’s because,” he rasped, “that’s because I made him promise… when you joined the team- I made him promise to save you over me if we were ever in a situation like that”. Bucky smiled to himself, “he’s a good friend”.

“To you maybe…” you said, half-kidding. “I guess I’ll have to bribe him, just in case this happens again.”

Bucky gave a small shake of his head, “good luck with that, doll. I have him on retainer.”

———————————

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