#it sucks that any other marvel characters can keep running but Spider-Man is just going straight in the dumpster bc of idiots at the top | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

parkers-gal · 3 years

Note

Being tom’s costar & him setting you up with his brother, Harry. Maybe reader keeps saying no because she thinks Tom is asking her out

hello

combined with another request (hope you don’t mind)

Reader is dating Harry & Nikki like doesn’t her because she’s tom’s love interest in a movie. Harry & Tom defend reader

wc: a fat 3k (sorry lmfao took this too far)

—

When you were first called in for a dry run through of a script that would later be your next movie, you didn’t expect Marvel’s very own Spider-man to be there too. Of course, he didn’t expect you there either, but you were still pleasantly surprised that the director had called in for willing or suggested actors.

The two of you immediately hit it off, clicking on screen and off screen. And though you were playing lovers in front of the camera, your relationship with Tom was strictly platonic — and you were glad he was on the same page.

That didn’t, however, mean Tom wasn’t completely involved with your love life. After returning to your trailer directly after a date, Tom was waiting for you — and wondering where the hell you’d been. You confessed you’d gone out with someone, but the date wasn’t smooth and they weren’t your type at all. The date went pretty badly, and Tom pointed out later. Ever since then, he’d ask you if you were going on another date.

It had been a month and a half since then, and though you were ready for a relationship mentally, you knew it might be hard with all the press you and Tom would be doing around the world. You weren’t sure why you would be going on tour, though — it was a recreation of Sandra Bullock’s film While You Were Sleeping. Tom and you were popular enough as it was — a tour simply didn’t seem necessary. But, alas, you complied with your manager’s advice.

“Sooo…” Tom followed you into your trailer. It was around eight o’clock, and he was using the voice he used whenever he wanted something from you. “Are you seeing anybody?”

It had been about two weeks since the last time he’d asked, and you were already rolling your eyes. “No, Tom. I’m not interested in whatever offer you’re about to make.”

“But Y/N!” He whined, pouting. “I know somebody who’s perfect for you!”

“As perfect for me as Andrew from the Uncharted crew?” You raise a brow, setting your purse down while Tom huffs.

“He wasn’t that bad! How was I supposed to know that he doesn’t wash his beard?” “That seems like common knowledge to me, Tom!” You’re trying not to laugh at the ridiculousness of the conversation. “I could smell it from across the table!”

“Alright, alright.” Tom winces at the details. “I’m sorry about that one. But this time, I’m sure of it.”

“I swear to god if you pull some weird cliche shit and say yourself, I’m going to kick you out of my trailer.” You deadpan, pouring yourself from coffee from the brewer he’d just used while you were out.

“It’s not me, Y/N/N.”

“Yeah, but you keep giving me dates with people that aren’t my type and then saying you have someone better. What if you’re buttering me up?” You smirk from behind the mug, sipping it smoothly. He rolls his eyes, but blushes nonetheless.

“It’s not me.”

“Whatever you say, Spidey.”

He rolls his eyes again, sighing dramatically before heading towards the door. “See you tomorrow.”

“For what? Our date?”

“Quit teasing me!” He spins around, body halfway out the trailer entrance. “I meant ‘I’ll see you on set.’” You laugh wholeheartedly, waving to the brunette as he leaves you alone for the night. When you awake, you’re due early for a shower and straight to hair and makeup. You’re not sure why your character always wakes up so damn early just to work in a train station, but you comply with the director.

“G’morning.” You greet the assistant director with a smile, bagel in one hand and your script in the other.

“Morning,” He smiles before offering you some coffee. “Coffee?”

“Please?” You smile wider at the mention of the beverage, internally cheering as he makes your order — he’s memorized all of the crew’s by now, and it’s truly astonishing. You take up a conversation with him while you wait for your day to begin.

Tom comes in through the double doors, spotting you immediately — with another boy. He races over as quickly as he can manage with his tired body and with what’s left of his dignity. He doesn’t want to seem too eager, but he really thinks he’s found a promising boyfriend for you.

“Hey, Y/N.” He greets before his jaw clenches subtly. “Morning Conor.”

Conor nods at him before pouring another cup of coffee for the Brit. You’re rolling your eyes at Tom — you know him well enough to know when he’s feeling anything but positively.

“Excuse us,” You smile apologetically at Conor. “I have a part of the script I’d like to talk to Tom about before we start.” Conor nods understandingly, and you pull Tom aside, walking behind the sets while you angrily sip your coffee. “Y’know, you don’t have to be so dry to the crew that happens to talk to me.”

“I wasn’t dry!” Tom defends, shoving his free hand in his jacket pocket.

“Then what do you call that?” You gesture behind you with the roll of your eyes. “I thought we were on the same page about our relationship, here. I don’t like you in a romantical way, and I’d prefer it if you’d keep that base of our relationship out of work.”

“Y/N, Y/N.” He’s wide eyed, hands gesturing for you to slow down and listen to him. “I don’t like you in that way. I just… think I know somebody who you’ll really get along with.”

You groan. “Tom, you’re a shit matchmaker. Y’know that?” He gasps at your response, feigning offense. “Look, I’m being real with you! Nobody you’ve set me up with has lasted more than a week. You suck at this job, Cupid.”

Tom rolls his eyes but stops you from walking any further, grasping your arm to turn you in his exact direction. “Look, just trust me on this one?”

You ponder the idea almost with your body, head tilting in unsureness. “I don’t know…”

“Please,” He’s practically whining now. “Please, just… one more date?”

“Fine.” “Yay.” He smiles in victory just as the two of you are called back onto set. With heavy feet, you drag yourself to set, but this time, you can’t help but feel a little hopeful. Don’t fuck this up, Cupid.

You’d wrapped up filming last week, and the director’s were quite positive you wouldn’t need to come back in later for reshoots. So, you were flying out of Chicago and down to Atlanta with Tom for the weekend. He was going to “introduce you to his next option.” You still didn’t trust him, but you didn’t have any immediate projects, so you agreed anyways.

Tom was due to start filming Spider-man 3 on the upcoming Monday, so you knew you’d be going to the airport alone on your last night — that is, if things didn’t work out with this new date.

After receiving a text from Tom to be ready by eight o’clock, you’d showered and done your makeup. Settling on an outfit wasn’t as difficult because you had only what you brought with you. You were driving down to Tom’s rental home — apparently Marvel Studios always rented him that one — by seven forty-five. You were driving a rental car, and you mentally kicked yourself for not bringing a jacket in the middle of winter.

Parking in the open driveway, you rang the doorbell. Tom swung the door open, hair slicked back and trousers fitted nicely. You rolled your eyes with a groan, and before Tom could even greet you, you complained.

“Tom, I told you I’m not going on a fucking date with you- please ju-”

“No, no, no, love.” He laughed. “C’mon in, it’s game night with me and the boys. Your boy is inside waiting for you.”

You looked at him skeptically before walking up the steps and through the door. Tom led you through a rather modern-looking house, through an extremely large kitchen and into a back den room with a poker table. You rolled your eyes, but your facade dropped in the immediate moment where all eyes turned to you.

“Guys, this is Y/N, my co-star in that rom-com we just wrapped.” You saw Zendaya smile and wave, Jacob greeting you with a cheerful “hi!” and then you saw a freckled boy with red hair and immediately felt butterflies tickle your stomach. “Y/N, this is Harry. The guy I told you about.”

You wanted to curse at Tom for practically keeping this guy a secret. You wanted to curse him for setting you up with all those other tramps instead of this gorgeous boy right here. You wanted to curse at Tom for-

“This is my brother, Harry. Harry, this is Y/N, the girl I told you about.”

Your eyes nearly bugged out at his words, for reasons being that this “Harry” is his brother and that he’s talked about you to him. Keep your cool, Y/N.

“Uh, hi.” You nervously laugh, stepping forward to shake his hand. Harry smirks at you, hand reaching up as his lanky fingers make contact with yours, shaking from his seat without even standing.

“Hey.” His voice is deeper than Tom’s and it catches you by surprise. Tom had told you about his three younger brothers, but he never mentioned specific details like the ones you’re noticing now.

“Right then,” Tom clasps his hands together. “Y/N, you can share the seat with Harry while I get the drinks.”

You nod and try not to come off as too flustered, heart pounding against your chest, palms sweating. They’ve pulled up a loveseat to the poker table, suitable for two people, or two lovers. You wince at your own self, wanting to kick yourself again. But you don’t, instead sliding in next to Harry. He smiles, removing the toothpick that was sitting on the side of his mouth, sticking out like a truck driver. He throws it, and it lands directly into the garbage bin. You bite your lip and begin the game.

You end up staying in Atlanta for a lot longer than your two-day trip for the weekend. You’re there for a total of four weeks, and you’ve spent practically every hour with Harry. You were in a hotel for the first four and a half days before Tom had groaned at you leaving at one in the morning again, telling you to stay in Harry’s room and stop wasting your money on lousy hotels. The proposition made you giddy inside (and nervous, but they didn’t need to know that), and when Harry smirked at the idea, encouraging it too, you agreed.

So, you spent practically four weeks in Harry’s room, giggling at jokes and cuddling and watching movies and taking pictures. He’d taken you to set too, showing you around, talking nonstop about his cameras and their many different lenses.

The Spider-man crew was dispersing for a two week break, and Harry had already decided that you were going with him and Tom back to London.

“Love, are you ready?” Harry called for you from the bathroom connected to his bedroom. You shouted back your reply, zipping up your final suitcase while he walked back into the room.

You knew that after your trip to London, Harry would have to go back to work and you’d have to go home before starting your next project. But you didn’t care — the two of you had already discussed long distance relationships before confirming yours; you could make it work.

You would land in London by your two-month mark, you realized with a smile. Harry gave you a forehead kiss before talking both of your suitcases downstairs to the car. You grabbed the duffel bags and followed him out of the room where it all began.

The flight was exhausting but nostalgic in a weird sense. You spent the latter half of it curled up into Harry’s side, asleep or watching a movie. When you finally boarded off the aircraft, you went straight to Harry’s flat without protest. Normally, you’d fight about checking into a hotel so you wouldn’t catch anyone unprepared, but you were too tired to care.

Now, it’s been a day since your flight and you’ve promised Harry — and Tom — that you’ll go with him to their parents’ house for some lunch. You admit that you’re nervous and that it’s probably too soon to be meeting parents, but you pay no mind as you’re entering Holland's childhood home.

“Mum!” Sam, Harry’s twin who you’ve just been introduced to, yells out. “They’re here!”

You hear excited squeals as Sam leads the three of you through and into the kitchen. Nikki’s back is turned when you enter, but she excitedly turns around to greet her sons. She’s taken off-guard at the sight of you next to Harry, but still leans in to tightly hug her sons, who she hasn’t seen in quite awhile.

“And who’s this?” She inquires, gesturing in your direction. You’re a little taken aback at how unwelcoming she seems to be acting, but you shake it off as nerves.

“Mum,” Harry smiles, a hand on the small of your back, nudging you a little closer to him and his mother. “This is Y/N, my girlfriend.”

The whisk in her hand seems to stop mixing the recipe in the bowl. Your smile falters slightly, but Tom fills the silence at Nikki’s ajar mouth.

“Mum, she’s- uh, she’s my co-star in that rom-com I got casted for. Remember?”

“Oh,” She smiles a tight-lipped one, and you can tell it’s forced and fake. “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Nikki.” She wipes a hand off on her apron before extending it for you to shake. You accept the offer with a hesitant but genuine smile.

“It’s nice to meet you, too.” She hums but doesn’t respond, instead turning her attention to Tom. You make eye contact with Harry worriedly, and he shakes his head, bewildered. He kisses your temple before sending you in to meet Paddy and talk to Sam — somebody who actually welcomed you.

The day goes on like this, and though the tension is most obviously present, you don’t touch the subject, knowing it’s not your place or your home, especially since you came almost unannounced. You don’t want to be angry with a woman you barely know, so you try not to mirror her feelings.

“So, Y/N,” She directs her attention to you for the first time all day. You look up from your intertwined hands with a smile.

“Yea-”

“Did you just decide Tom wasn’t good enough based on his character and then move on to my next son?”

You’re shocked, mouth ajar as you blink. “W- what?”

“Tom told me about how many ‘date failures’ you had until you finally settled on Harry.”

You want to curse at Harry for offering to refill your drink, and you want to curse at Tom for spilling the secrets of your dating life. “I- I didn’t settle for anyone.”

“That’s not what my son says.”

Just then, both boys walk in together, laughing in conversation about something. You’re already crying, but the minute the door opens you stand abruptly, nearly knocking Harry off his feet.

He laughs at you, “Love? What’s u-” But he’s cut short when he notices your red eyes and fresh tears. He sets the glasses down, wiping your cheeks and grabbing both of your hands. “What happened? Hm?” He’s shushing you, trying his best to calm you down. “C’mon, angel. Tell me.”

“Your- your mom just said a few things.”

Harry’s eyebrows furrows, and so do Tom’s. They turn to look at the woman in the chair skeptically, questions flying out immediately.

“Mum? What did you say to her?”

You excuse yourself, not wanting to be a part of the conversation just yet. You run off to the bathroom to freshen up while Harry and Tom talk to Nikki.

“Harry, I’m just being a protective mother, okay? I didn’t say anything that bad.”

“Mum, you made her fucking cry.” Harry’s fuming, nostrils flaring while he glares at his mom.

“Don’t talk that way with me.” She points her finger at her son. “That girl is no good for you.”

“Mum, I introduced them.” Tom says. “I know her; she is good.”

“Not if she has to settle for Harry.” She clicks her tongue. “I remember all those dates you told me she went on, Tom.” She sighs while he scoffs. “Anyone that tries that hard to find a boyfriend is out for other things.”

“That’s bullshit.” Harry interjects. “She’s an actress, of course dating is hard.”

Nikki purses her lips but doesn’t reply.

“Mum, she’s crying.” Tom says softly, seemingly trying a different approach. “You haven’t talked to her at all, today. I think you shouldn’t have judged her too quickly.”

“Apologize.” Harry says finally before standing up. “Apologize or we’re leaving.” He walks out of the room, heading to the bathroom where you’re hidden away, sitting on the toilet while you catch your breath. He knocks, coming in with your permission.

He pouts when he sees your tear-stained face, face puffy and eyes red while you sniffle.

“‘M sorry.” You grumble the words while he kneels in front of you.

“What’re you sorry for, baby?”

“For causing all this drama.”

“Hey, hey,” His thumb rubs across your knuckles. “You didn’t do anything wrong. She had no right to say those things to you.” You look at him as he finishes, engulfing him quickly, crying into his shoulder while he catches you with his arms, holding you against his chest lovingly. After a few minutes, there’s a knock at the door, and Tom’s voice rings through.

“Mum says she wants to talk to you guys.”

Harry makes eye contact with you apologetically, thumb still moving across the skin of your hand.

“Well,” he stands tall. “Shall we?” You wipe your cheeks one final time before standing with him, taking the hand he offered you as you head for the bathroom door.

“Guess there’s no avoiding this part if she’s going to be my future mother-in-law.”

Harry sucks in a breath, and as you make eye contact with a smirk, there’s a glint in his eyes that acknowledges that you’re feeling better. He smirks back, opening the door for you as you head back into the living room.

Keep your cool, Y/N. You inhale a deep breath, emerging into the room. Keep your cool.

#harry holland #harry holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland x actress!reader #harry holland x actress!reader #harry holland fluff #harry holland angst #harry holland fic #harry holland imagine #harry holland fanfic #tom holland fic #tom holland imagine #tom holland oneshot #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst

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lonelyghosts-stuff · 3 years

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Marvel’s What If Episode 5 Reaction

Oh boy I heard this is the zombie one. Cmon Gianna you can do this. You’ve seen every single episode of The Simpsons including the Treehouse of Horror episodes which are pretty gory for an animated show. Man I’m pathetic

Man I just wanna Loki episode 😭

I know it seems pathetic how nervous I am, but ever since I was a kid I’ve had a bad fear of zombies affecting even my sleep paralysis

Whenever the Watcher says “Time.” at the beginning of the intro, I keep thinking it’s Morgan Freeman lol

I wonder how the zombie apocalypse starts

Ah crap it’s Infinity War related

I wonder if Bruce would be immune to the zombie infection cuz of the Hulk

Honestly? Mark Ruffalo is one of the best voice actors from the original cast I’ve seen

We haven’t seen Tony’s face yet or any of their faces yet… uhhhh

Ah damn

CAPEY TO THE RESCUE

Oh poor wong

Damn they still have their powers as zombies

Locusts?

Well they were defeated quickly

Oh hey spider man and hope! Wait where’s Scott????

No mourning or crying your friends died?

“From a place of hope.” Uh oh. What’s the Pyms do this episode?

Dangit Hank

Uh oh Zombie fam

NO PAUL RUDD

Well that was fast

Thanks a lot avengers

Well that was fast. A shrinking, almost impossible to see, zombie. At least we’ve got an army of flesh eating ants?

Thanks for the homemade video Peter

Weird that Tom Holland isn’t voicing Peter. I know he can voice act and he’s clearly sticking with the mcu for at least a little longer…

Poor Happy lol

“I’m not single, I’m saving myself for Thor.” Lmao me but with Loki

Hey at least Kurt is still alive!

BUCKY IS STILL ALIVE

Oh so is Sharon

Okoye is alive too!

Odd Peter isn’t like depressed considering not only did Tony die, but I’m assuming Aunt May and his best friends did too…

Oh that’s a cool place for a hideout! High above the streets held up by webbing! Just hope Hank Pym zombie is dead though because he can fly and shrink…

Spider-Man is oddly optimistic. Like yes he’s a bubbly teen in highschool but cmon. Be a little more pessimistic lmao. Even if you find a cure, too many people have been killed killed for it to be an easy fix. You’ll never see Tony again.

Poor Happy lmao

Oh that’s one way to kill a zombie

Split up? Okoye I thought you’d be smarter than this…

Oh happy has an Iron Man glove

Man I hope Bucky is okay

NOOOOOO ZOMBIE SAM WILSON

Uh oh

HAPPY NO!!!!

Blam!

Hawkeye Dangit

Oh poor Peter

Peter look out!

Dang I’m kinda surprised Sam got zombified considering he can fly

Really Sharon? Blam?

Dangit Bucky 😂

CAPEY TO THE RESCUE!!!

Hey since Scott is dead, maybe

Spider man supreme

Yea you should’ve stayed together

Uh oh

Sharon…

Run… tell the others

Tunnel

Uh oh

Cap…

Poor Bucky… you gotta kill him. He cant be saved like he saved you

Winter soldier all over again

End of line lmao. Still pulling one liners when killing ya best friend.

Oh poor Sharon

Finally the shield had realistic physics with killing people like that

Oh wow that was gory. Poor Sharon. Uh oh Hope.

Dangit Peter 😂

Yea how do you stay upbeat?

Well that got depressing fast

Now he does sound kinda like tom Holland, but not really. I’m confused.

Out of gas? Welp. Check that off the list of zombie cliches lol. That’s a lot of zombies.

Hope gonna sacrifice herself.

Giant hope. Gonna smoosh and get bitten as well I bet.

Yep Peter really losing everyone

Hope just shrink and fly you can still—okay never mind

Banner, maybe you would have been better with Thanos?

Babayaga? Watch her exist in this dimension.

Oh vision! Since he’s a robot is he immune?

Oh cool the stone is the key.

PAUL RUDD YAY!!!

Oh he’s just a head

Yo it’s futurama lmao

Uhhhh hey Scott your girlfriend just died outside. Sorry

Of course Wakanda is still okay

Bucky you know splitting up is a bad idea!!! Get back here?

BUCKY CMON

CHADWICK!!!!

And Wanda!!!

Oh no

Vision is evil

A swap of Wanda Vision

Love does suck

Dammit Vision

Uh oh

Maybe run?

The scarlet zombie

What was your prom like Scott?

Wingardium leviosa!

OKOYE NO!!!!!

Dammit vision!!!!

How is she so powerful as a zombie but Stephen strange who has had more experience died so easily

I’m honestly shocked Vision would do something like this. It seems so out of character. I mean, the keeping her alive is probably realistic, but sacrificing innocent people to feed her sounds really out of character. Yknow, with his whole android super intelligence thing… and seeing his reactions in WandaVision really makes this feel out of character… eh whatever… it’s an alternative reality…

Man it’s infinity war all over again

BUCKY NO CMON MAN

Oh yay hulk saved Bruce

Well, Bucky has survived longer falls in the past so…

Poor Peter. You’re an avenger now, kid!

If he still stays in Hulk form couldn’t he possibly be immune?

Or are we gonna get a zombie hulk? Because if so, lol we’re all doomed. An unkillable zombie

Giant hope zombie

Poor Scott…

Soooo Bruce? Is he good? We just leaving him behind

Poor Peter jeez

“In my culture, death is not the end.” Oh man I’m gonna cry… I miss Chadwick so much. I didn’t know he was going to be in this episode. Wakanda forever, King.

“The world could use a little heart.” Well Scott doesn’t exactly have a body or a heart soooo…

Oh crap zombie Thanos. How did he get all the stones?

Wait what???? That’s it???? We don’t get any closure???? What about Banner? What about the cure? What??? Oh come on! Not even a part two? Are you kidding???

Well that is a disappointing ending… gotta say I had higher hopes… even if it had a bad ending, I was hoping for like, well, AN ENDING.

Need part two. Not enough questions answered. How did Thanos get zombified? You’d think he’d be pretty invulnerable with all the stones. He also only just came to earth. What about Bucky? Sure he was yeeted but he’s survived longer falls. And Banner? What about Thor and the guardians? Would an asgardian even be affected by zombieism? I mean we saw other aliens get affected so probably, but still.

Too many unanswered questions. Felt like they wanted to tell more but the editor sneezed and cut the episode in half on accident.

#marvel #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #marvel studios #marvel series #marvel shows #marvel what if #what if #marvel’s what if #what if zombies

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hellyeahheroes · 5 years

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Marvel Teen Romance: Solo Boys Edition

Romance in today’s superhero comics sucks.

There are two categories of love interests when it comes to teen boys in romance in today’s Marvel.

First category is shared with the women: two characters on the same team. This is easy and standard for superhero teen on teams and is not covered in this post.

Second is for exclusively characters with solo books: one dimensional love interests who only serve to fill in a role.

Very few of the romance in male character’s books work today because the romantic partner is not defined. They are placeholder roles. Their depth is written with the same amount of enthusiasm as a person filling out an application in the cases of characters that aren’t in team books only which is completely different for males in teen books.

This is partly because most of the characters with solo books do not have a lot of time to give the supporting cast depth so love interests often turn into one note characters that could best be defined as “This is so and so’s girlfriend.”

This is extremely prevalent in Marvel teen boys solos and you want to know how you can spot how this is happening? When you the character does not have a last name or their name is not mentioned upon introduction of said character.

Yes, this happens a lot for the teen solo male characters to which I personally had to dig just to find out who these girls were. And yes, they are all in mlw romances canonically. There is no canonically openly gay male character with his own solo book.

It is frustrating because there is no excuse. You are Marvel. You literally created Peter Parker and Mary Jane. Luke Cage and Jessica Jones. Reed Richards and Sue Storm. You have an entire goddamn cinematic universe with well-defined romantic subplots but somehow when it comes to solo characters, fuck actually giving romantic love interests depth. Peter Parker probably has the largest love history in Marvel but almost all of them have a fucking last name. For fuck’s sake, even his supporting characters have better defined romances almost all of the characters on this list.

Warning: the reason I put a “?” for a lot of these characters’ sexual orientation is because I am not going to assume. They have to earn any confirmation of being straight from me by doing three things: when the idea of romance is brought up they always think girlfriend, actively deny being interested in the same sex, or call themselves straight. Only one character has done that on the boys side.

Miles Morales aka Spider-man

Orientation: Heterosexual

Love Interests: Barbara Rodriguez(current), Starling, Lana Baumgartner, Rachel Leigh, Katie Bishop, Tomoe the Technogolem, Spider-Gwen, Olivia

Miles Morales is the exception to the flaws of today’s teen male heroes for Marvel because of all of his love interests are actual characters in which he has unique relationships with. None of them are one note characters and they are diverse in ethnicity, race, and background. They range from his best friend’s having crushes on him(Lana), bad girls who want to tempt him into turning bad(Katie Bishop, Rachel Leigh), super powered girlfriends(Spider-Gwen, Starling), and fully fleshed out girlfriend who does not know that he is Spider-man or knows but has not told(Barbara Rodriguez).

Most importantly, they have a relationship with Miles through either his being Spider-man and just him or both.

Just like his predecessor, Miles’ love life starts and begins around his identity as Spider-man. And that is intentional because as much as Peter is probably one half of the most prolific comic book romance in history, he is fucking terrible at giving advice. Peter Parker stupidly told Miles not to tell his loved ones that he is Spider-man because villains target them all of the time. Mind you, this was 616 Peter Parker who told him this, not Ultimate Peter Parker because Mary Jane was the first person he told about his being Spider-man. Miles does not know that Peter has a guilt complex the size of the Australian Outback so he stupidly follows his advice until he meets one Katie Bishop.

How or when Katie and he hooked up is unknown, but we can say that it happened during Miles’ brief retirement from Spider-man. When Miles eventually resumed the mantle, he felt bad about lying to his girlfriend so he tells her.

Oh...this didn’t work as well as he thought. Gee I wonder what the problem is?

One problem: Katie Bishop is part of Hydra.

And this is why you should ask political affiliations should be major criteria in partner searching: one minute you are dating and watching movies, seems to really hate Inglourious Basterds for some reason. Then after making out awhile and becoming serious, they slowly reveal things about themselves. All of sudden, you realized that you have been dating a Nazi.

So after that disaster ended via “New Universe, who dis”, Miles is actually terrified about telling any love interest about his dual identity and fervently clings onto Peter Parker’s terrible advice that further complicates his relationships going forward because he misinterpreted the situation with his relationship with Katie. He should have learned that keeping secrets from each other is bad all-around because Katie never told Miles that she was a card carrying Hydra member because that would turn him off from her(I mean he is black for fuck’s sake). Miles, while having no reason to share his past with her while they were dating because he was no longer Spider-man, should have not completely abandoned his superhero sense, Neither of them trusted the other enough so the relationship was doomed from the jump.

This is where Barbara Rodriguez, Lana Baumgartner, and partially Spider-Gwen comes in.

Spider-man (2016) is an awkward jumping point because Bendis no longer had the Ultimate Universe as the backdrop for Miles. If I could advise anyone who was interested in Miles Morales comics, I would tell them to skip most of 2016 run because Bendis was over the place. He introduced a lot of bad ideas like Miles moving away from the Spider-man identity, the Venom web strings thing replacing web shooters, Miles becoming a secret agent, and etc. Just a lot of dumb shit. But one thing that Bendis did establish was that Miles is a hormonal teenaged heterosexual boy who has girls on the brain all of the time.

It is a over arching subplot of both Ganke and Miles trying to get girlfriends. Ganke keeps shopping Miles out to girls and Miles kind of indulges him. Until Miles goes to Earth-65.

Gwen Stacy knows Miles is Spider-man, but she is from another dimension and while they share the same mantle, Gwen’s attraction to Miles is dubious because every dimension she has been in up to the point that she met Miles, a Gwen Stacy is either dead, miserable, or evil. The one alternate reality that she has seen where she is happy is that she is married to Miles Morales with children. All of this on top of the fact that Gwen is being blackmailed by her worst nemesis as well as her father being in prison equates to Gwen is stressed and is desperate for any sort of comfort. She does not have any feelings towards Miles that go beyond platonic and it helps that of all the Spider-people, Miles is one of the few that don’t resemble Peter.

And you shouldn’t trust Miles’ feelings because he is a horny teenaged boy who spent the majority of Bendis’ last run pining after every girl who just so happens to smile at him. No really, Miles had crushes on Kamala, teenaged Jean Grey, Cassie Lang, some girl that broke up with him before they started dating, and Spider-Gwen. He was just happy to kiss a girl but not really because she is from another dimension. And right after that, he gets into a thing with Lana and Tomoe the Technogolem so really, it is not really a thing, but the movie felt compelled to make it so in spite of spitting in the face of every goddamn Spider-man theme ever created.

Lana Baumgartner aka Bombshell, however, at least is in the dimension Miles currently resides in and also is one of the two who has been in both the Ultimate and 616 universe when Miles made his switch. Now I am not sure how much is still canon with Bombshell making the switch over to 616, but her relationship with Miles is a lot like Peter’s and Black Cat’s in that she used to be bad, but now she is good and Miles is like her best friend. Regardless, aside from Ganke, Lana is one of the few people who Miles can confide in and Lana, in spite of going to Midtown, relates to Miles on multiple levels.

It wasn’t until Miles left to avenge her getting beaten up by Hammerhead that Lana started actively pursuing Miles or stating that she kind of always had a crush on him which is not at all reciprocated because he correctly deduces that Lana is dealing with Florence Nightingale effect. Of course, he may have underestimated her feelings for her because from that point on, Lana keeps texting him and he keeps ignoring her.

And finally Barbara Rodriguez.

Barbara, unbeknownst to both Miles and her, is from the Ultimate Universe as well. Apparently when Miles made the switch, Molecule Man wanted to thank Miles and not revived all of his dead family members, he also made sure would be loved ones like Barbara were around. It is kind of like an alternate dimensional fated lovers thing and since Barbara is the last thing Bendis created before he went to DC, she is Miles’ Mary Jane Watson. Saladin Almed took over writing duties for Miles and under his pen, the relationship between Miles and Barbara has been the focus of his run.

Barbara does not have any superpowers and what we know is that she is an aspiring rapper/singer who at least half of her family is undocumented immigrants or not American. She is a hip-hop head, has a bit of a mischievous streak(she convinces Miles to skip school to go to a Hip-Hop museum exhibit), and loves to banter.

And she also knows that Miles is Spider-man but because of very stupid advise from one Peter Parker, Miles keeps lying to her. This puts a strain on the relationship which is worsened because Barbara feels indebted to Miles because him being Spider-man saved her. She just wishes that Miles told her instead of lying about it.

While Miles and Barbara are dealing with this melodrama, Miles meets another girl: Tiana Toomes aka Starling.

She is the granddaughter of Adrian Toomes aka the Vulture aka one of Peter Parker’s worst enemies. Miles meets her in the middle of Tiana’s One Woman Quest for Vengeance against Tombstone and they fundamentally disagree on how to deal with Tombstone.

After all Tombstone is dealt with, Miles and Tiana kind of connect except the obstacle of his need to preserve his secret identity gets in the way.

Miles fails to realize that his secret identity is there to protect not just him and his loved ones, but ensure that he has a normal social life. There is nothing to be gained in keeping a secret from friends about who you are especially if it puts them in danger. Yes, Miles is right in not telling Tiana, who is related to a guy who would gladly attack Miles to get back at Peter Parker in someway, and I am a bit annoyed that he even considered revealing himself to Tiana who he has every reason to not trust on that level, but not Barbara who he promised to share with once he felt comfortable. It is not out of safety that he doesn’t tell Barbara which is exactly the case when dealing with Tiana. He doesn’t tell Barbara because he believes he is keeping her safe and...he isn’t. It just shows that you don’t trust her.

Miles is the only male teen hero that Marvel has who has starred in a solo comic book and has an in-depth romantic history as well as in-depth and detailed love interests. He is the only one in a period of 20 years. That is sad.

Sam Alexander aka Nova

Gender: Male

Orientation: ?

Love Interests: Carrie, Jinin, Lina

And now we are shifting from character whose history is in-depth to another whose can’t be asked to give his romantic interests a fucking last name. The writers of Nova have no excuse. Nova unlike the majority of characters here has had at least 50 issues which is 40 issues too many to have a character who was present in the very first issue to not yet have a fucking last name.

Carrie appears in the first issue of Sam’s Nova where Sam is moping about his dad being picked on because his father is the school janitor. Carrie has very little depth, but there was enough depth that would amount to an introduction.Carrie is friends or at least hangs out in the same skater clique as Sam’s bully, Karl. Karl loves to rag on Sam’s dad working as the school’s janitor and honestly, Carrie kind of likes Sam, but she is friends with the asshole as well so it had potential of being interesting.

You’d think that after this introduction that she would be more prominent, but nope. Carrie’s appearances became more sporadic in Sam’s Nova in which Sam shows that he is as emotionally dense as the sunken Titanic. The series shifted away from Sam’s school life to focus on Sam’s quest to find his father and his mother and sister. Sam doesn’t see Carrie a lot so you as a reader can’t be blamed if you don’t know that she exists.

Carrie doesn’t appear until another 4 issues later(4 months) where she is hanging out with Karl and the skater clique in which she prevents Karl from spontaneously egging Sam’s home out of boredom. And of course, Nova appears.

In which, she immediately recognizes that Nova is Sam because girls who like boys are apparently more perceptive or at least Sam’s mask is nowhere near as concealing as he thinks with the whole mouth being visible.

Next issues she confronts Sam about it and of course like an idiot, he lies because apparently it is superhero 101 to lie to your girlfriends about who you are when it is really fucking obvious.

The lie is unnecessary because Sam’s villains or would be villains could easily track down Sam due to him being a Nova. They go beyond taking his loved ones hostage. It is honestly beneath them to do so and the closest that a character has done so in Nova was Kaldera and she didn’t need to know what Sam looked like or his name. Nova’s secret identity or need of one is useless.

Carrie confronts Sam again about the Nova issue and when Sam tries to pull a Spider-man, she completely chews him out for it.

From this point on, Carrie’s appearances were sporadic and carried a somewhat hostile tone with her getting sick of Sam’s shit and also the bulk of Sam’s adventures being away from school. Carrie becomes the babysitter for Sam’s sister when his mom is busy being a single mother and Sam is out in Space doing space shit. And again, not a whole lot of depth here. And then suddenly for no apparent reason and actual use of story telling...Sam and Carrie start randomly dating.

After this, she barely appears and then she is dropped off the face of the Earth. Now I would cover Jinin and Lina, but it is a waste of time. Both characters are one note and have fewer appearances than Carrie. Point is that Sam’s romance history is indicative of an overall problem with male teen heroes in the modern age. They don’t bother with making the romantic interest as an actual character. Their role is to essentially warm the bed and house while the hero is away.

Amadeus Cho aka Brawn

Gender: Male

Orientation: ?

Love Interests:Delphyne Gorgon, Lady Hellbender, Enchantress(Hulk brained consented without Amadeus being conscious...so rape?), Vision, Luna Snow

It took nearly 20 years to develop a love interest for Amadeus. 20 goddamn years. It wasn’t even developed. It just randomly happened.

Eventhough I was rooting for Cindy Moon/Luna Snow, I’m just glad that it happened.

Victor Alvarez aka Power Man

Gender: Male

Orientation: ?

Love Interests: Ava Ayala, Iowa Bryant

Victor is criminally underused. He should be tied to both Iron Fist and Luke Cage, but he kind of went the way of the teen hero in the 2010s: shipped off to any team that needs a token black guy. Before he went down that role, he was being mentored by Danny Rand for awhile. Anyone who knows Victor knows that him being mentored by a snooty rich white guy goes as well as Jason Voorhees and pre-marital teenaged coitus.

Victor goes to school, apartently he is a budding thespian and actor, and he can’t even focus because his head is in the clouds.

Dayyuuuuuuum. I mean she talks like she stepped out of the 20s, but I understand the awe. Iowa is probably the most peculiar of the love interests here because she has this flapper-esque dialogue that is just out of place. So out of place that Victor suspects her of being tied to the resident old timey bad guy that both he and Iron Fist are searching for.

Long story short: Nothing happens to this item. She is remarkable because at least she has a last name.

Next is probably a more popular character: Ava Ayala aka White Tiger. Victor joins the Mighty Avengers and his initial thoughts of the honorable and dutiful Ava Ayala...

Awww, he gets the mush mouth when he gets flustered around pretty girls. Ava Ayala and Victor’s chemistry starts slow as Ava is a bit of a tortured soul as she constantly wants to live up to her brother’s example.What with Gideon Mace killing her brother and Arcade torturing and killing some of her old teammates: she just wasn’t in the headspace of looking for relationships. When Gideon gets loose, Ava decides to let the Tiger out and the team had to stop her from mauling her brother’s killer.

Ouch...

White Tiger eventually gets put down by the team. Victor, being the dogged nice guy that he is tries to find a way to relinquish the hold the Tiger God has on his crush. Luckily, Ava puts the God-Spirit in check, herself. After this, the two continue to support each other and form somewhat of a bond. For Victor, it was romantic and for Ava, it was mostly out of camaraderie. But after a cosmic near world ending experience that involved all of the Avengers merging their minds together thus sharing each other’s souls to one another, they finally become official.

That is one way to undercut development and get straight to the point. I mean there is not a pick up line the world that equates to soul melding and fighting off the bad guy.

Anyway, they stayed an item for awhile. There really isn’t a lot of content.

Mighty Avengers ends, but they both get enlisted into the AIM Avengers. During this transition, they broke up because Ava is all work and no play. She is married to the idea of being a superhero so much that she doesn’t value her own health. Victor broke up with her.

They don’t get bac together btw. After AIM Avengers, Victor joins the Champions while Ava joins up with Captain America. He does try to make a pass at Ironheart, but that gets shut down quick.

Rayshaun Lucas aka Patriot

Gender: Male

Orientation: ?

Love Interests: Brianna

I am not going to waste my time or yours.

This is Brianna. He asks her out on a date, but then she gets promptly turned into a mindless vampire and that shit is a bigger turn off than cis straight men.

He joins the Champions and hits on the Red Locust, but she is kind of too gay Ms. Marvel to care.

Robbie Reyes aka Ghost Rider

Gender: Male

Orientation: ?

Love Interests: Lisa

Not going to waste your time and mine, again.

Lisa literally just shows up. No introduction. She just happens.

And this is from the first series. In the next series, written by the same writer, she just disappears. So nothing of note happens and you wonder why fangirls ship him with Amadeus.

So this all of them. No, I won’t do Alpha because...no. Anyways, the girl solo’s are next(we are talking Ms. Marvel and Kate Bishop) so it should be more fun and gay. And then we will get to the big team teen love fest bonanza which is super gay and super fun.

68 notes · View notes

ageofevermore · 4 years

Note

1-100 baby, let’s do this!

1. What is you middle name?

Mackenze (mackenzie not fucking mackenz ro)

2. How old are you?

16 (almost 17)

3. When is your birthday?

December 26

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Capricorn

5. What is your favorite color?

Purple

6. What’s your lucky number?

7. Do you have any pets?

8. Where are you from?

New Jersey (i mean i’m african america + german + irish)

9. How tall are you?

4’11

10. What shoe size are you?

9 ½

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Over 17 ...

12. What was your last dream about?

i have the weirdest fucking dreams ever, but im pretty sure it had something to do with my going back to in person school but ending up at ikea and then their was a Princess bounce house and i saw a little girl i know but then i ran away because i missed my marketing class and cried bc we were drawing octopuses and i got an F... like what the hell is that?!

13. What talents do you have?

none :)

14. Are you psychic in any way?

i mean i have been known to predict a pregnancy...

15. Favorite song?

WAP? (i have a lot man)

16. Favorite movie?

I HATE movies, but like anything Marvel

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Idk man, Tom Holland?

18. Do you want children?

Yes, 100%

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Lol, no thanks

20. Are you religious?

Nope

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yes! It’ s one of my favorite places (that sounds horrible but like, i’ve just always enjoyed it their and find it mesmerizing? Also Greys..)

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

Yes, but like really old ones who i don’t even know the name of, oh and the cop from one of the Spiderman movies :)

24. Baths or showers?

Showers

25. What color socks are you wearing?

I’m not wearing socks

26. Have you ever been famous?

Nope

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Yeah

28. What type of music do you like?

Country, Showtunes, Pop, some Rap, Alternative

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

I don’t own real pillows, but i do have a body pillow and like a throw pillow...

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

On my side of my stomach

32. How big is your house?

It’s a ranch, not that big. 3 bedroom, 1 ½ bath

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

I don’t eat breakfast

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

A nerf gun...

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Nope

36. Favorite clean word?

Orgasmic

37. Favorite swear word?

Twatwaffle, Cuntasaurous, Bitch, Dick, Pussy, Fuck

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Around 48 hours

39. Do you have any scars?

Yup (my favorite ones my boob one bc its the only one i got and it wasn’t because i was being a complete idiot…)

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

It wasn’t a fucking secret this boy is obvious as all hell

41. Are you a good liar?

Yes

42. Are you a good judge of character?

Yeah

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Yup

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I don’t think so

45. What is your favorite accent?

British

46. What is your personality type?

Mediator INFP-T (mind 64% introverted, energy 63% intuitive, nature 63% feeling, tactics 75% prospecting, identity 75% turbulent)

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

idk

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yes

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Middle!

50. Left or right handed?

Right

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Yes, get the fuck away from me demons

52. Favorite food?

PASTA

53. Favorite foreign food?

chinese ..?

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

Messy and i hate it

55. Most used phrased?

The fuck?

56. Most used word?

Fuck

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

Could take 5 minutes could take 2 ½ hours, and i never wear makeup so don’t even try to start with me about how it takes hours to do makeup, i just genuinely enjoy sitting under blazing hot water in the shower

58. Do you have much of an ego?

I mean, i dont think so?

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Suck

60. Do you talk to yourself?

yes , i have like two irls and they never wanna hang our already have plans so im my own company 97% of the time

61. Do you sing to yourself?

ALL THE TIME

62. Are you a good singer?

No, i mean i’m good, but i’m also nowhere near professional

63. Biggest Fear?

Being alone, being rejected...

64. Are you a gossip?

I mean, i do enjoy some tea time, but i also feel anxious half the time when tea is being spilled lol

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

...American Assassin? Is that dramatic? Endgame? Whats a dramatic movie?!

66. Do you like long or short hair?

LONG LONG LONG

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Bitch, i can’t even name like 12

68. Favorite school subject?

English

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Extroverted Introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

71. What makes you nervous?

People...

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Yes, tf, if you aren’t I don’t trust you

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

No, if i did I would be correcting people 73 times a day when they say my name

74. Are you ticklish?

Sometimes, in some places. I can turn it off

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Lol, i mean, maybe?

77. Have you ever drank underage?

I am the queen of drinking at family parties

78. Have you ever done drugs?

No, but i wanna get high.

79. Who was your first real crush?

Justin Bieber, but like Harry Styles was two weeks later...i was 6

80. How many piercings do you have?

5 technically

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

Yes

82. How fast can you type?

Yes

83. How fast can you run?

I don’t run, tf

84. What color is your hair?

Brown

85. What color is your eyes?

Idk, they were blue, then they were green, then they were hazel, now i think they’re just brown :(

86. What are you allergic to?

Human interaction… but no my favorite flowers, Lilly’s

87. Do you keep a journal?

88. What do your parents do?

My mom was a teacher, and my dad used to work at the DMV

89. Do you like your age?

No, you don’t understand how badly i want to vote

90. What makes you angry?

Ignorance and Selfishness

91. Do you like your own name?

No, but it’s been growing on my ig

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

Yes! I have two lists, one of names I love and another of names i’d be willing to agree to if my partner doesn’t like my favorites.

Girls; Olivia, Amelia, Hazel, Leila, Charlotte, Cove

Boys: Brett, Lincoln, Landon

Unisex; Anderson, Montgomery, Maverick, Ocean, Blake

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

Girl

94. What are you strengths?

Avoiding my problems like they don’t exist

95. What are your weaknesses?

ADD, anxiety, depression, i mean sorta PTSD i guess surrounding some situations

96. How did you get your name?

My dad named me after Kirsten Dunst (Kyrstin), and my middle name is Mackenze bc Marie is a family name but my mom said ‘lets be original’ bc literally like 6 girls in my family have the middle name Marie

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

No, but my great great great great great grandfather created the brick press

98. Do you have any scars?

Yes

99. Color of your bedspread?

Pink

100. Color of your room?

Grey

4 notes · View notes

momentofmemory · 5 years

Text

fictober - day twenty

Prompt #20: “You could talk about it, you know.”

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe - Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Netflix Marvel (Daredevil)

Warnings: Religious Imagery

Characters: Peter Parker & Matt Murdock, Quentin Beck (mentioned)

Words: 2177

Author’s Note: set immediately post the spider-man: far from home mid credits scene (so, spoilers). this is a stand alone, but assumes peter & matt have met before and so could live in the same universe as my day 16 fill.

>>Heartbeats on Pier 81

Peter’s face is broadcasted over all of New York, and losing his secret must feel a lot like dying to his mind because Peter sees his life flash before his eyes. Unlike death—and he would know—it’s not the past that he sees, but all the futures he’d hoped for disappearing.

He doesn’t remember much of what happens next. MJ tells him to run, so he does; Happy texts him that May is safe, so she is; a man throws a rotten tomato at his face, so he swings higher. He keeps swinging, as fast and as high as he can, until he leaves Queens and its familiarity behind. He doesn’t stop until he reaches the edge of Hell’s Kitchen, and only then because when he drops onto Pier 81 he runs out of buildings to leap on.

Peter walks all the way to the end, anyway, then hops over the chain rope fence that separates the walking area from the edge. With nowhere further to go, Peter slumps down and lets his legs trail over the side, greyish water snapping at his feet.

The pier’s not in the shape it once was, thanks to the Blip. The wood creaks ominously under the force of the river’s tides, chains hang limply on the deck instead of around cargo or attached to moored boats, and warehouse-sized shipping containers sit in various stages of rust and disrepair. The important feature in Peter’s mind, however, is that there’s no one around.

He hasn’t had a chance to install Karen in his new suit yet, so it’s quiet as he checks his phone and discovers seventy-three missed calls, one of which is from the New York Times, and a notification informing him that #SpideyParker is trending on Twitter.

Peter looks out over the Hudson and drops his phone into his lap without unlocking it. After a moment, he pulls his mask off and breathes in the unique smell of algae, salt, and diesel oil that only a river running through New York can create.

The tide is high, so the river is flowing out to the north. In a couple of hours the tide will lower and start flowing south, and then a few hours after that, back to the north again. The Hudson’s weird like that: consistent only in that you know it will change.

Peter’s always identified with it in that respect.

He’s not sure how long he stares at the water, thinking about everything and nothing, but it’s still not quite dusk when a lithe shadow drops down behind him. His Peter Tingle doesn’t so much as fizzle, so he doesn’t bother turning around or reaching for his mask.

Not that the last part matters anymore.

It’s probably not healthy, but after Mysterio he’s started relying on sight less and less, so he knows who his visitor is from the sound alone.

“I didn’t know it was legal for Daredevil to be out in the daytime,” he says, the crinkle of leather in Matt’s costume instantly recognizable. “There goes the internet conspiracy that you’re actually a vampire.”

Daredevil hums noncommittally, then lowers himself to the ground beside Peter.

“Spider-Man’s in Hell’s Kitchen, so it seems like a lot of theories are being broken today.” He drops one leg over the edge, bending the other in front of him and resting his elbow against it. “Thought I’d join in on the fun.”

“If you’re looking for fun, you could definitely do better.”

“True, but I’m guessing you can’t.” Matt hesitates. “If you want, I thought you could… Talk. About it.”

Peter leans his head back against a wooden post and closes his eyes. “You know?”

“I’m blind, not deaf.”

It’s stupid, because he knows the news is everywhere by now, but hearing it from another super hero makes it feel so impossibly real.

Matt shifts beside him. “Even if I were both, though, Foggy contacted me the second the broadcast went live. He’s pretty determined we’re going to be your legal team.”

Peter huffs out a laugh, running his hands through his hair. “Isn’t that a conflict of interest?”

“His best friend’s a lawyer that spends his nights bloodying his fists on criminals’ faces. I think our firm crossed that line long before you came along.” Matt tilts his head, probably listening to something seven blocks away or something, then carefully takes off his own mask. “But legally speaking, no. None of us have any reason to oppose your case. If anything, you could argue I have a vested interest.”

“Oh.” Peter bites his lip. “Even after…”

He trails off, looking at Matt’s face. He’s seen it before, of course, during the many times he dragged Ned down to the firm to get help with civics homework, but there’s something different about seeing him fully suited up without mask.

It feels honest, somehow—like all of him is on display, but in a good way.

Peter’s own exposure doesn’t feel so good.

He doesn’t know if Matt can tell he’s been staring, but the other man clears his throat. “After what, Peter?”

There are so many things Peter could say about what he means by after. The all-consuming terror he feels for the safety of his family and friends, now that his identity is exposed. How he’d thought he finally had his life back together, only for it to be ripped away so completely and utterly he no longer knows whether he can even go home anymore. The way people looked at him with naked fear or unbridled anger, and how he’s so afraid he’ll never be their Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man ever again. That he never asked for it, but he technically really does have access to a billion dollar surveillance network, and it’s probably super illegal and wildly unethical.

But it’s Daredevil he’s talking to, not May or Ned or Happy or even Tony, so he says the one thing that’s been eating away at him for days: the one thing only another vigilante could understand.

“I killed him.”

The words feel disgusting sliding out of his mouth, like his throat and lungs are coated in tar instead of air.

“I didn’t mean to,” he adds, suddenly desperate to let Matt know he didn’t, he didn’t, “but the drones were firing everywhere and I had to stop them, and I—I wasn’t paying attention to where the blasts were going as long as they weren’t hitting me.”

He chokes off, unable to continue. He’s terrified to look at Matt’s face now, afraid of the horror he’ll see.

But Matt just turns the Daredevil mask over in his hands, fingers running almost reverently across the seams. “I think it would be helpful if you started over from the beginning.”

It feels like sucking mud out of his chest at first, but slowly Peter reveals everything that had happened in Europe: Nick Fury showing up in his hotel room, the glasses and Stark’s legacy, the mind screw he’d gone through in Berlin. The train, the fight in London, the fake story Mysterio had created—the one he’d told to Peter, and then the one he’d told to Times Square. Quentin Beck’s body lying on the bridge, pupils constricted and lungs frozen and heart silent.

“…I can’t even bring myself be sad that he’s gone,” Peter finishes, staring into the lens of the mask in his hands so he doesn’t have to look at Matt. “I just feel guilty it had to be me.”

Daredevil doesn’t say anything at first, and Peter thinks he might drown in shame.

Finally, the other man clears his throat.

“As a lawyer,” Matt says, placing his mask on the pier between them, “I can say unquestionably that what you’re describing would be considered self-defense in a court of law. Any jury worth its salt would clear you of charges in under an hour.”

Peter swallows. “And as a fellow vigilante?”

Matt turns his head towards the river, tongue darting out briefly as if to taste it. “Did I ever tell you about the time I threw myself into the Hudson?”

Peter blinks at the apparent non sequitur. “You went in there willingly?”

Matt snorts. “Not exactly. It was early in my career, before I even had a suit. It was the first time I took on Fisk.”

Peter stills—Matt didn’t usually like talking about anything to do with the ex-mob boss.

“I was… angry. Stupid,” Matt says. “Fisk killed someone I cared about, but I wasn’t really interested in justice. I just wanted something to punch. So I tore through a bunch of his men until I found one that knew something; got directions to a pier where he might be at. Pier 81.”

Peter starts in surprise, and suddenly the abandoned shipping containers he’d passed seemed to have a lot more weight to them.

“It was a trap, of course.” Matt’s fingers ghost across his lower abdomen, so lightly Peter thinks he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it.

“And that’s when you jumped in the river?”

“No.” A sigh, and Matt’s hand drifts back down to the wooden slats. “No, that’s when I killed Nobu.”

Peter—Peter doesn’t understand.

Everyone in the New York super hero circle knows that Daredevil doesn’t kill, and Spider-Man more than most. It’s the one thing Matt’s warned him about constantly; always telling him to be wary of his strength and his temper, of the immense importance of giving someone a second chance, and that no matter how evil a person may seem, there’s still a spark of hope in there that he has no right to stamp out.

It’s one of the reasons Peter looks up to Matt so much, despite his brutality, because it’s a mindset none of the other vigilantes or even Avengers share.

“No—no who?” he says, voice strangled.

“Nobu. Nobu Yoshioka.” Matt ran his teeth over his lower lip. “He was a member of Murakami’s faction of the Hand. He also had a kyoketsu-shoge that he was very good at using. …I should probably be dead because of it.”

Peter pales, thinking of all the scars he’d seen on Matt’s torso in the past. He doesn’t like where this is going. “…Why aren’t you?”

“It was a lot like what happened with you and Mysterio, actually.” Peter flinches and looks down at his hands, red in the light of the sunset. “We were fighting; well, at that point I was mostly just trying to survive. I deflected one of his blades without paying attention to where it would ricochet, and it shattered a lamp above him. The sparks caught his robes on fire.”

A shudder runs through Peter, equal parts sympathy and horror. “You couldn’t have known.”

“No, I couldn’t have,” Matt agrees. “I also found out later that he came back to life, making it a moot point.”

Peter’s stomach attempts to turn itself inside out at the thought of having to face Mysterio again, but Matt seems to notice his discomfort.

“Don’t worry. My priest says I can’t recommend that method as a standard way of finding absolution.”

Peter offers him a shaky laugh, and Matt continues.

“I didn’t murder Nobu by any legal definition that night,” he says, “but I went into the situation with a lot of hate, and with the intention of killing someone else. I think that made me more of a murderer than any physical action I could’ve taken.”

He turns towards Peter, his eyes staring vacantly just over Peter’s shoulder. “I don’t think that’s a sin you’re carrying.”

Peter bites his lip, wanting to believe him but unsure how. “But I didn’t try to save him.”

“Clinton Church has confession hours right about now if you’re seeking penance.” There’s a smirk in Matt’s voice, and Peter can’t help but roll his eyes at the man’s persistence. “But if not…”

Peter looks up expectantly.

“If not, then I would ask you this: why don’t you want to kill?”

“Because that’s not my call.” Peter doesn’t have to think about it. “And because I think there’s always the possibility of redemption, for anyone.”

“Anyone, huh?” Matt tilts his head, then smiles. “Your heartbeat is steady.”

Peter frowns, then his mouth widens into an oh.

Anyone means him, too.

Peter pulls his legs up and rests his head on his knees. “Is using your human lie detector skills to make a point really all that ethical?”

“Foggy’s not here to stop me, so yes.” Matt picks his mask up. “But I don’t need it to prove your heart’s in the right place.”

Peter stares at him, expression suddenly so fishlike he’d blend right in with the Hudson.

Then he rapidly yanks his own mask over his face to hide the blush creeping up his neck. He coughs and blinks as the eye lenses readjust to the fading light. “Is that uh, is that your advice as a lawyer or as a vigilante?”

Matt laughs and shakes his head, sliding his mask into place. He stands and offers Peter his hand.

“It’s as a friend.”

#fictober19 #peter parker fic #daredevil fic #mcu fanfic #ffh spoilers #peter parker #matt murdock #tw: religious themes #both matt and peter have really specific opinions on killing #so this was fun to explore #memsfic

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hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger · 5 years

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War of the Realms Strikeforce: Land of Giants Thoughts

This was recommended to me and I’m rather glad it was.

I’ve said before that the best Marvel Team-Up story was in fact...Spider-Man vs. Wolverine. The intended irony of course being SvW executed MTU’s intentions better than any MTU issue itself ever did.

In a similar vein this story is perhaps the best New Avengers issue we’ve ever had, at least as far as Spider-Man was concerned.

Don’t get it twisted, I’m not saying this type of story should be the norm for Spider-Man, either in its setting or tone. Nor that New Avengers should’ve written Spider-Man like this every issue.

But in New Avengers Spider-Man seemingly existed 99% of the time to provide (bland) quips or ‘funny bits’ and otherwise to be a body to throw against bad guys along with everyone else. Little exploration of his character occurred, little use of his personality bouncing off of anyone else’s defined personality occurred. It didn’t help he often was in settings and stories Spider-Man doesn’t really belong in.

This issue weirdly follows in New Avengers footsteps as far as making Spider-Man the ‘funny guy’ and putting him in a setting he doesn’t belong in.

But unlike New Avengers stories this story goes further with that, brings in a dash of Spider-Man’s actual personality beyond being the quipper and embraces it’s premise.

As an ongoing this would probably suck. If this was in a main Spider-Man title it’d probably suck. If it was indeed outside of Spider-Man’s main title but still impacting upon him somehow it’d probably suck.

Because this issue is an odd duck in that it’s Spider-Man’s story but is not a Spider-Man story if you see what I mean.

Allow me to clarify.

A Spider-Man story traditionally is street level, grounded, personal, revolves around more relatable issues and the like. You see where I am getting at.*

This story is nothing like that. Spider-Man’s primary relationship is with a talking flying horse for God’s sake!

However because the story is from Spider-Man’s POV it is in essence his story.

And Taylor (of the current FNSM run fame) does a deft job with the assignment.

By making this a one shot that isn’t even labelled as a Spider-Man story it alleviates expectations from readers. It in essence makes it okay we are seeing a story about Spider-Man talking to a magic horse queen.

It also helps that the whole story doesn’t take itself too seriously. Unlike Bendis’ brand of quips for quips sake, inserting them into serious situations where they didn’t belong, Taylor hits what I call ‘the One Piece sweet spot’.

One Piece is a popular manga/anime franchise from Japan. It is an epic adventure full that strikes a deleicate balance between something of a gag machine, an action thriller and a heartbreaking tragedy.

The gags allow you to accept the absurdity of something like Spider-Man, Cap, Wolverine, Luke Cage and Iron Fist riding flying horses to fight Frost Giants. By rights this isn’t really the best setting or type of story for any of these characters but the gags allow you to go with it.

But there is just the right amount of pathos and gravitas and action at the right moments for there to be a level of genuine emotion to resonate with you.

You go from:

“Oh my God Spider-Man is befriending a talking flying horse queen. That’s so absurd it’s awesome”

To:

“*sob* The talking flying horse queen died. I’m so sad right now”

I think the secret ingredient holding this together is the fact that

a) It’s Spider-Man himself who’s the focus character and

b) His narration is a framing device, specifically one addressed to MJ

Spider-Man is a less gritty character compared to Luke, Danny, Steve or Logan. Of them he’s the least likely to kill and the least likely to be described as a warrior (though he is one of a fashion).

He’s the most like us basically, thus this specific setting, in spite of it being so far removed from traditional Spider-Man fare, works well to emphasis the relatability at the core of the character.

He doesn’t want to fight in a war. He’s the least at home there arguably. After all Cap and Wolverine are clear cut veterans. Danny is a trained warrior and Luke knows what it is to grow up trying to survive desperately.

This isn’t in disparagement of Peter, but rather it places him in a more sympathetic position, akin to a soldier far from home, not wanting to be there, uneasy about his presence on foreign ground, unsettled by the violence of war and trying to keep going by focussing his memories on his ‘girl back home’. Taylor found a way to bring in the ‘normal Average Joe’ aspect of Spider-Man into a setting where by rights it has no place, a setting which doesn’t invite ‘Peter Parker’ but rather just generic superhero Spider-Man.

That’s another way in which this story is weirdly connected to SvW actually. In that story Peter was also unsettled by violence, ruminating on MJ and thrown off kilter by a new unfamiliar setting and gets an up close look at death. Of course death is no stranger to Spider-Man, but a death amidst battle is a little different to something like Gwen Stacy or Uncle Ben’s death.

There is another connection though, and as obvious as it is to spell out...it’s Wolverine. This story could hardly be called a Spider-Man/Wolverine story but this story does bounce them off of one another very well. Wolverine is something of a shit stirrer who messes with Spider-Man and doesn’t wholly take him seriously (in character for him). Spider-Man is meanwhile uses him as the straight man to his humour. But there is an element of respect between them with Wolverine clearly empathising with Peter’s grief over Arctorius. This adds up, not only because Logan has seen much death in his long life, but because he has a kinship with the animal kingdom and understands all too well the loss of a comrade in arms.

So does Cap, who also shows a little empathy after Arctorius’ death. Indeed Peter and Steve’s relationship, whilst it doesn’t go as far as it could, is done quite well because Peter’s respect and admiration for Cap is clear cut and Cap gets what kind of person Peter is. Him recommending a shield is a small, obvious, yet very nice moment between the two that in a way speaks volumes.

Luke and Danny don’t share much with Spider-Man in the story but along with Logan and Cap are great inclusions in relation to Spider-Man.

Cap and Logan are soldiers who in a way are larger than life. You could see them as older brothers to Spider-Man but one who looks after you and the other likes you but trolls you too. Danny and Luke meanwhile are more street level guys like Peter. Any of these guys wouldn’t be bad options for a Spidey team up story and all are out of place in this setting. But when put together their ‘out of placeness’ works.

Helping things along is that the action is decent enough, Spider-Man’s shield attack being the clear cut highlight.

Arctorius is of course the highlight though. In a few pages Taylor makes you invest in this ridiculous concept and character and buy her relationship with Spider-Man. Thus her death and the issue’s end is poignant and resonates nicely, sad as it is.

As a final pro, Spider-Man is referred to as a jester.

This is actually a decent way of reconciling Spider-Man into a high fantasy setting. I prefer JMS’ idea of Spider-Man as the ‘trickster’ but jester works well. Even Thor in older stories has observed Spider-Man’s humour is a mask for his insecurities and Arctorius’ labelling him a jester isn’t derisive. He’s a jester warrior.

Now it ain’t perfect.

I’m no Iron Fist expert so I don’t know how fair this is, but I feel Danny was written a bit too comedic in this story to the point of being out of character.

Additionally when it came time for everyone to list of their berserker rages Spider-Man’s fell flat. It’s played off as Spider-Man is just too nice and wholesome to have such rages when there is a clear history of him having them. Death of Gwen Stacy anyone? In isolation it was a decent if predictable joke, but it’s not true to Spider-Man’s history. You could always No. Prize it but I feel it came off more like Taylor not remembering or thinking through the dialogue.

All in all I highly recommend this issue as a fun detour. It deserves your money more than League of Realms.

*Now there can be exceptions like the JMS run, but he was wise enough to temper the magic and mysticism by grounding it in more a more relatable setting most of the time or connected to more clearly defined Spider-Man topics and subject matter. For example a mystically empowered villain abducted children to the Astral plane prompting Spider-Man to go there and save them. Sounds out of place right? Well yes but the villain in question is a common crook who got lucky, he’s abducting Peter’s underprivileged students, Spidey needed to do regular street level investigation to figure out the guy’s game and saving the kids made him miss a date with MJ.

#War of the Realms #Spider-Man #Peter Parker #Wolverine #Captain America #Luke Cage #Iron Fist #Thor

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detectivehole · 5 years

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Go comic feral, i followed this blog for a rEASOn and it's bc i like to hear your random vents and rants and also you reblog cool stuff. But i digress, go comic feral i am hERE for it

fine

PETER PARKER BEING RICH IS STUPID he didnt even ern what he has himself it was nt even himn he wasnt in his body maybe if i had got to see him start fron nothing to being a cool ceo or whatever id be able to stand it but nooooooo he just GOT is for nothing so it feels stupid like “ha ha what if like tony stark haha” its DUMB and i haven’t read a spider man comic for a long time

deadpool/spiderman crossover comic bad. feels out of character a lot. funny concept and full of funny jokes but as far as characterization its bad in my opinion- was made to capitalize off the hype of the ship and we all know it

don cates should be banned from writing comics bc he fucking sucks and ill never forgive him for what he did/tried to do to venom

deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good dea

the venom movie was a lot of fun but it was very ooc a lot HOWEVER seeing some of the cut scenes and scripts you can see that it used to be actually fairly in character for the comics but a lot of scenes with eddie establishing himself as not actually the most nicest of guys (not that eddie isnt a nice guy deep down but he is a good amount fucked up with a big ol hero complex and a problem with ‘i can do no wrong” mentality sometimes) were cut and considering how the fandom for the movie treats him i can see why the cut those bits out bc i dont think movie goers would have liked him as much wich is a shame bc he is a good guy at the end of the day just fucked up

straight white male comic fans are the worst people in the world and breaking their fingers is a daydream i indulge in

matt murdock is a himbo

foggy nelson is a good man who deserves better friends

i can tell what deadpool comics someone has read based on how they characterize wade in their fan works and i have a 80% success rate with it. the most common was the daniel way run but now its the spider-man/deadpool crossover series

soulda used miles for the mcu spidey instead of cannibalizing his story for parts like they did. dick move, Disney

mcu bad

i think just the idea of dc’s Red Tool is fucking hilarious but i dont like his character at all

batman and superman should fuck but they wont :/

matt and foggy should to but the comic industry is afraid of making long running characters lgbt bc theyre WEAK

deadpool need a canon bf they cant keep telling us hes pan and not showing us for reals- hell he could just go on one date or be shown having a one night stand or something- something beyond a damn joke

cable gay. no i will not listen to any other opinions.

im excited to read moon knight i have a book waiting i just have to finish my current one

SCUD the disposable assassin is the most underrated comic EVER and i LOVE IT however i think it ended stupid and bad however it went on fucking hiatus for like a decade and then was rapped up really fast so any ending is a godsend

i desperately want a long-form stand alone series abt wanda wilson bc shes the perfect foil for a good Feral Dumbass Woman comic. think abt it; shell sell immediately bc of recognizable brand, and then she can just go on violent stupid adventures without any of the other dp corps. it doenst have to line up with any canon i just want insane lady dp adventure comic. this is an unreasonable dream but mine none the less

i though that agent venom was stupid

tank girl is fucking amazing and i love it i never understand whats going on and i enjoy the confusion

reading early hulk comics feels like watching a weird, poorly produced old black and white sci-fi soap

there needs to be better, more easily accessed, official reading-order guides published and posted on the walls of comic shops everywhere

the 80s and 90s were the best time for marvel comics and no one can tell me otherwise. that was peak comic time

the worst time for comics was the 2000s and early 2010s

sometimes i am shocked by the art that gets the editors pass in comics. some of it is so bad and im not even talking about the disproportionate ladies

the lego marvel and dc movies are way better than the live action movies and im not even being sarcastic

seriously the 2000s made some horrible comics

i feel like committing acts of mass violence every time someone says comics arnt real reading/stories/implies theyre worth less of any value than a novel

i read the first deadpool comic i got so much that the art itself is so ingrained in my mind that people have shown my just the corners of panels and ive identified them correctly

i distinctly remember the first time the woman at the book store stopped asking me for parental permission to buy the comics i was getting (12yos) because i went there so often that she just remembered who i was and that the adult would say its fine

i refuse to talk about comics with people at cons because i am gatekept or flirted with every single time no matter what and there is no in between. and yea its because i have tits. youd think that eventually theyd learn but gross comic men never do and all the others have adopted the same policy as me so the closest i come to positive comic interaction at cons is standing in the same vicinity as another chick, looking at the same section, and the kinda smiling at each other

i think the avengers are boring. really really boring. the x-men are way better

i related to gwenpool too much when she first started and it scared/offended me so i stopped reading for a while until her character developed more and we stooped being so similar

i have spider-man bedding. i picked it out only a few months ago. its good it makes me feel cool in a very uncool way

watching spider-man as a kid made me wanna be a scientist. watching batman as a kid made me want to do martial arts. i ended up failing chemistry and falling on my face a lot instead.

i had a huge venom toy and a huge spiderman toy as a kid and while i did make them fight a lot i also made them hug just as much. i wanted them to be friends

on that note PETER IS MEAN TO THE SYMBIOTE NOW AND HE DONT EVEN HAVE A REASON NO MORE hes just such a dick about criminal reform eddie and the symbiote aint special with this- he says he believes people can be better but he really doesnt show it. he tends to think people are set in their ways and while this makes sense forthe most part considering how much hewas bullied as a kid/adult (that also contributes to his mild “i protect my own” mentality tho at least he consciously fights that one) it stil pisses me off

i can think way more but i need to sleep i think

#wrything

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thatdarnblogagain · 5 years

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Captain Marvel Review

This...this is awkward. *Ahem* How does one put this gently? The Captain Marvel movie, kind of sucks. Like “oh my gosh this is bad” sucks. That sentiment comes from an objective viewpoint; well as objective a viewpoint one can have after watching whatever Marvel’s, Captain Marvel was.

I paid little attention to the calls for the film to be boycotted or whatever controversy surrounded the lead of the film, Brie Larson. All I wanted was a good film as Marvel is accustomed to delivering. Sadly, I was let down. Why you ask?

.Carol: A tale of Two Leads - One of the biggest problems for me is not the character of Captain Marvel but what Marvel is trying to do with her. It is in some way similar to what happened with Iron Man in his first live action film.

Robert Downy Jr took a C to B list character at best and gave a performance that shot him into the upper echelons of comics. However that was more of an unintentional thing. There was no one saying how great Tony Stark was. We saw this with his ingenuity throughout the film but more than that we saw it by how vulnerable he was by being captured, and left for dead more than once, thus having to learn or rely on others. Why? Because Tony is a genius and he is genius enough to know he needed others to help him in his plight. Yes he has an ego but that falls away when he knows his or others’ lives depend on it. He makes mistakes and comes out of the other side stronger for it. That’s relatable.

In Captain Marvel from the first exchange of dialogue in the movie, we are told how strong Carol is though she is “emotional” (Something we see little of). We have constant scenarios of the character being lauded by others for how brilliant she is, whether as a pilot, warrior or hero. There is no fall for her beyond brief moments of being captured...twice. In each scenario she manages to get away with ease and gain little from either. Yes she “falls” in the movie during montages as Marvel tries to hamfist the idea of rising up into the plot line but Steve Rogers did that already and without needing to hammer it home that this was a Psuedo-motivational moment.

Again let’s look at Tony. In his workshop Tony goes through countless tests to get his suit to fly or do what he wishes and we see him fail before he succeeds. But Tony does not give up! He keeps going till he gets it done and even then, he keeps upgrading his suits for any possible situation because he knows he is not invincible. Anything is possible and he needs to be prepared. Whether this is caution or his need for control it shows us Tony’s mindset which almost seems neurotic at its worst.

Carol...falls from space, closes her eyes and decides to fly. That is a scene meant to be empowering but I instead just groaned. Marvel seems to want us to buy into Carol being the cornerstone of the Marvel Cinematic Universe but I think it can be argued while not nearly as strong as Carol, Black Widow deserves that spot.

(This picture has more charisma than the cast)

.The Attitude - Carol is cocky. Not quite Tony Stark or Namor cocky but she has an ego of sorts. She is a woman who knows she is powerful, knows she has the means to take control and is not afraid of doing so. However she has an attitude of no nonsense but also of being able to empathize with others, such as when Scarlet Witch returned to her senses after the House of M storyline. Carol in her Ms.Marvel guise along with Spider-Woman come to her aid before taking Wanda to the Avengers’ Mansion and in those few pages we see a range of emotions. Joy at seeing her friend. The jubilant yet skilled approach Carol takes to fighting the threats facing them. The pain on her face when Vision turns Wanda, his wife at the time, away.

Those are organic expressions and it hurts to say those pages carry more emotion in them than Brie’s portrayal. It is wooden and has no real character behind it. Yes she is soldier but so is Captain America, Bucky, Falcon and Black Widow. Yes she has amnesia, so did Bucky and in Civil War he still showed the emotion of someone who felt like they could not even trust themselves, worry, fear, wariness of all around him besides Steve. Brie really only has one emotion throughout. Stoic. Stoic in happiness, sadness and anger.

She does stoic well but nothing else. For example, upon realizing all she knows is false, Carol in the movie has no moment of breaking down that others face. T’challa upon seeing his father’s transgression confronts him and completely changes his mindset about aiding the outside. Charlize Theron as Furiosa in Mad Max - Fury Road upon realizing what she was fighting for all along no longer exists, this bastion of strength walks into the desert, takes off her prosthetic arm and screams into the distance. Carol has none of that besides saying, “I don’t know who I am!!!” which is quickly countered by her friend saying, “You are Carol Danvers....”. And...that’s it. She has a moment at the end where she echoes this and ordeal over. Yup.

.Missed Opportunities - Yon Rogg, Korath, Ronan, Agent Coulson, Mar-Vell and even the Skrulls feel like they were wasted in this movie. Some are glorified cameos and that sucks. Korath especially feels like he could have had backstory to show how he became what he was in Guardians of the Galaxy. Oh and Mar-Vell...what did they do to Mar-Vell!?!? Moving on!

Nick Fury feels like he got some of the worst of it all. Many wanted to see how he got those Scars but the pay off is so bad you wish it was instead a moment better left to our imagination. While it is fun seeing a younger Nick Fury at work with a different attitude to his older self, there seems like he deserved a subplot that paid off the speculation of him losing his eye.

Skrulls + He trusted someone he should not have + Lost an eye = Easy Subplot. Imagine going through a movie with Nick having faith in a character only to see that is not who he thought it was and pays a huge price before painfully having to take that person out? That would have explained the Nick Fury who we know so well.

(Annnnnnnd...lack of common sense starts now)

.Plot Twists - NO! That’s all I will say! NO! I understand trying to subvert expectations but there are some things in the Marvel Universe that should stay as such. This is not like changing, M’Baku to a anti-hero/hero or the Mandarin into an Actor (Who was not even the real Mandarin). This is like taking the Red Skull and making him a hero. It just does not work. That is all I will say to avoid spoilers.

.What Genre am I? - You know something? Winter Soldier is a Spy Thriller movie. Ant Man, a crime comedy. Thor-Raganarok a Sci-Fi Comedy. None of them are really the same despite being hero flicks. Each has its identity. Each understands what it wants to do. Captain Marvel does not.

It shifts from bad action movie, to bad drama to bad comedy. It is jack of nothing and the ace of nothing. Captain America understood it was a period piece and played up the aspects of this. It was essential but Captain Marvel only has this is spots before the film does away with them.

It is no rite of passage tale like Homecoming was or even Shazam. In those films the heroes fall due to their own errors and must dig themselves out of it, in one case literally. Captain Marvel has none of that. Brie is powerful at the start and becomes more powerful at the end. It has the spy of spies in the MCU, Nick Fury but fails to use him nearly enough.

A depowered Carol, (Thanks to a power cancelling chip on her neck) on the run with Fury trying to understand her past sounds like an amazing prospect, making me want to see her regain her powers after gaining better understanding of how to utilize them. But nope, she whoops ass and will make sure you know. Even if you don’t want to.

(I’m the badass female of the MCU...after Black Widow, Okoye, Shuri, Peggy Carter, Valkyrie, Gamora, Frigga, Pepper Pots, Aunt May, *Aunt May Into the Spider-Verse* Nebula, Sif, Sharon Carter, Nakia, The Ancient One...yeah after all of them!)

Rating: 1 out 5

.Boring Screen Play and action

.Bland Lead

.Misguided attempt at a powerful female lead (Wonder Woman & Furiosa did it far better even if they were flawed as well)

.Convoluted plot

.Goose is awesome and so is Nick Fury.

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thetravellingvagrant · 5 years

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Day(s) 5/6 - Iquitos-San Rafael- Iquitos again - In Which I Live Out My Genuine Nightmares

This is going to be a very special (and very long) double entry, because a) the following two days were largely spent doing the same thing b) I am so far behind with this blog that cramming two entries into one seems like perhaps the only way I will ever be able to catch up and c) I didn't really sleep enough to properly separate the two days, anyway, so functionally, they really do count as one for me.

I remember being in no more than primary six or seven, when a man came to speak to our class about the Amazon rainforest. I don't remember who he was or why having a guest speaker tell us about the jungle was particularly necessary, but I do remember in vivid detail the things he told me. More specifically, I remember the things he told me about all the things that could - and most likely would - kill, maim or otherwise damage me, should I ever be fool enough go. Poison tree frogs that can kill you with a single touch, spiders as big as dinner plates that'll snatch your toes right off you, jaguars, scorpions, snakes, wasps, venomous ants, millipedes and even trees; the list went on seemingly forever and I distinctly remember, even at that young age thinking, very firmly to myself “fuuuuuck that.” - except probably a bit higher pitched. More recently, I remember being in Budapest zoo (an excursion featured in this very blog) and there being a very big sign at the entrance to their Amazonia exhibit, describing the area as simply “the green hell”, for much the same reasons. Both of these things have stuck with me for more than twenty and more than five years respectively and, to be honest, did combine mentally to rather put me off ever going to such a horrible, godless locale. It seemed almost unreal, almost like a fever dream, then (Not least of all, because I actually was running a fever, still being fucked into a paste as I was, by my jungle flu.), as I loaded my bags into the back of a tiny little tuktuk motor-taxi, to be whisked away to this nightmarish place, which I swore I would never visit, for actuals and reals.

Before that though, I had a tuktuk to ride. These little things are basically the only way to get around Iquitos, other than a truly abysmal bus service, or just owning a bike; cars are essentially a non-entity here, being very difficult to actually transport over from other citites as they are, as Iquitos is entirely inaccessible by road. They're also quite fun – the tuktuk taxis, that is- I have to be honest, however not-in-keeping with the tone of this blog that statement is. Riding one is sort of like being the terrified non-player-character passenger in a Grand Theft Auto taxi driving side-mission, as your driver weaves carelessly through a sea of other motorcabs, paying no heed whatsoever to the rules of the road or the safety of pedestrians, hoping against hope that they don't lose interest in the task at hand and drive you off the edge of a cliff, or into a deserted field at night, to shoot you in the head with an AR-15 and take all your money.

All too soon though, we were ejected from our mental little death-wagon and ushered into a sort of garage, that appeared to be serving as the headquarters of Maniti Expeditions; the company that was due to take us jungle-side.

We took a seat and waited while the other members of our tour filed in. As it turned out, we were rather a small group. We were joined by a family of Pakistani-Americans from New Jersey, a Portuguese man, who I think was called Pedro, who was nice, though verging dangerously on the pretentious, and, of course – because apparently there is a God, but unfortunately he's just a bastard – the Indian couple from the night before. Of course they were there. Of course they were. Also, it turned out they were actually American, so that made my accidental racism one degree worse than it had even been before. Whizzer.

After a brief interlude wherein a man, whom I did not realise had just wandered in off the street, handed me a torch - which I assumed was just an extra they gave you as part of the tour, but after some time and a lot of him refusing to let me hand it back to him, realised he was trying to sell me, for a frankly ludicrous price, resulting in me having to physically force the thing back into his hands while shouting “no gracias” as politely, yet firmly as I could - we were loaded on to a shitty, rickety old bus and sent towards Bellavista Naney port with our new guide. His name was Alfredo.

Alfredo was, as you might expect a jungle tour guide to be, an interesting chap. He was a short, sturdy, sixty-five year old man, sporting a Peruvian national football shirt, a pair of quite small shorts with sailboats printed on them, a camouflage backpack with a Cannibal Corpse patch poorly sewed onto it and one hell of a coke-nail. He told us, also, not long after we had met that he had been doing Ayahuasca, that traditional Peruvian mind-fuck broth for the last fifty years or so of his life. This was our expert. This was the only barrier between ourselves and definitely dying at the hands of a cruel and dangerous jungle. A junkie death-metal-head. Great. (though, to be totally fair to Alfredo, he was only about 20% as fucking weird and unreliable as this description makes him out to be. In reality, he was very knowledgeable, friendly and really, clearly cared a lot about making sure we were all safe and happy. He was both a top lad and a ruddy good bloke)

We were rushed through Bellavista port by Alfredo, stopping only briefly to marvel at the culinary delights the small port had to offer

Like these buckets full of fucking grubs, for some reason. Apparently they taste just like butter

and before we knew it, we were boarding a small, rickety boat bound for jungletown in the least official looking dock I had ever been to.

Pictured: Not a dock

Just as I was going to take my seat, something pale darted across the corner of my eye. I quickly spun to face the movement and there it was, sitting, bold as brass, right next to where I was about to park my – frankly 10/10 – arse was a massive, white spider, about the size of the palm of my hand, staring up at me, human blood dripping from its fangs, hissing threats in some esoteric spider-language. Fortunately, I was too fucked with the flu to have any energy left to make a fool of myself by panicking and so, instead, quietly just moved down the boat, screaming myself hoarse inside. Alfredo, then noticing the spider himself, then scooped the horrible thing into his hands and very softly deposited it off the side of the boat as if it was nothing, thereby tacitly making a total bitch of me for being so scared of it. Thanks Alfredo. Prick. Fortunately, though that seemed to be the only spider that had snuck on board, as I remained unbothered by any of its kin for the duration of our (very long) boat-ride up the Amazon river.

The boat ride was, despite my malady and my intrinsic fear of ever being submerged in the Amazon river, for any amount of time and for any purpose, fairly incredible. The river is bizarrely fascinating to be on, even when nothing of any interest is happening, and once I had gotten over my terrible, terrible fear of the boat capsizing, or a piranha flying out of the water and biting my face, I settled in to really quite enjoying myself. Alfredo's talk about the river, much like the thing itself, remained interesting, even at points when he was pretty much just babbling a load of shit about nothing, and a conversation with the father of the Pakistani-American family (who was every inch the spitting image of a brown Todd, from The Last Man On Earth) revealed that he, too, was something of an absolute delight. Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad, after all.

We eventually pulled in to San Rafael, the little community adjacent to our lodge and, after veeeeery fucking carefully removing myself from the boat, we walked for about ten minutes through very nearly actual proper jungle

Aaaaaah!

seeing some wild tamarins on the way and everything (which are apparently very rare to spot in the wild, so that was neat). By this point though, the heat was almost unbearable and lugging around my heavy backpack with a swirling vortex of fluey malaise sucking me ever deeper into its terrible maw was really starting to wipe me out. Before long, though, we arrived at the lodge, which was really quite nice, though perhaps a little too similar to the Others' village in Lost, for me to be totally comfortable in.

Delightful, yet sinister, like if Ted Bundy could make balloon animals

I quickly scooted off to dump my bag in our... fairly modest room

Hey, cool, I’m definitely going to die here.

before, with little to no chance for me to rest, being dragged straight back out for a short taster walk, into the actual and for reals jungle.

The walk was definitely an interesting, if very tiring excursion, especially for a gross, snotty flu-man, which I very much was. I think, though that it was largely the novelty of being in a new biome that really did the bulk of holding my attention, as, presumably due to the lovely, but very loud and panicky American family's constant hoots of fear, we didn't see a huge amount in the way of wildlife. Especially not anything that might bite, poison or constrict you. Still, though, it was quietly quite comforting to not be the most scared person there. Grow up, Americans. God.

Around half an hour later and fifteen pounds heavier in mud caked to the bottom of my shoe and trousers, we returned to the lodge for a surprisingly nice lunch of mashed potato and beef. I couldn't really enjoy it, however, as my sinuses were full beyond bursting and the room was spinning horribly around me, as I ate. We were given, mercifully, around an hour to relax before the next part of our tour, which I spent soundly asleep, not even caring that spiders could and probably would be crawling over my exhausted, broken body as I did.

The nap turned out to be a good choice. I awoke feeling slightly more human, albeit by the scantiest margin possible. It wouldn't have mattered if I was literally dying though- I'd still have gone on the next bit of the tour; was I fuck missing a trip to Monkey Island, under any circumstances.

We boarded the boat once more; one tour member lighter - in the form of Pedro who had decided to go off with another, different guide to camp in the jungle for a night, though with the new addition of Karl, another American man and weird lookalike of his namesake Karl Pilkington, arriving late - and were away to Monkey Island. Fuck yes we were away to Monkey Island.

Monkey Island, as its name suggests is a rehabilitation centre for monkeys who were rescued from the black market's pet trade, and that's all brilliant and everything, but jesus christ, it was just a little patch of jungle with all friendly woolly monkeys running around and, jumping through trees and tumbling around and playing and coming up to you to hold your hand or climb onto your shoulders and it was everything I have ever wanted and I don't expect I will feel joy like I did while being there, ever again. Or any sort of joy at all, to be honest.

L O O K A T T H E M

It was so good that for around the hour and a half we were there, I basically forgot I had the flu. That's how good it was; it was good enough to override my body slowly shutting down through fatigue and illness, like a lemsip for the soul. It was genuinely fantastic; the only thing that marred the experience, even slightly was the American family being a bit too loud and overbearing, pushing to the front of every experience, and so taking all of the monkeys' precious attentions for themselves, for the vast majority of the time. I suppose it can be forgiven of people for being a little over-excited about a god damned island full of monkeys though, so for once, I will bare no grudge against them. But let it me known, if anyone physically comes between me and a monkey, ever again, I will cut a bitch.

Way, way too fucking soon, though, we were pulled away from Monkey Island, in much the way its inhabitants were pulled away from the still-warm corpses of their mothers by poachers (...too dark?) and loaded back onto the boat.

We returned to San Rafael and, by this point, a combination of the heat, the flu and not being allowed to spend literally forever on Monkey Island in a perpetual state of utter bliss had ruined me. I badly needed a nap, again, for fear that if I did not take one, I might actually die, but alas, I was not to be afforded such a simple pleasure. Alfredo informed us, once we were back on land, that we'd be heading out into the jungle again, for an hour long night-walk to look for spiders and shit. I couldn't think of a more terrifying sentence for him to say, to be honest, but I decided that was probably actually quite unlikely that I was actually going to die and it would be quite an experience to miss out on if I just spent the time asleep in the relative comfort of my room, and so, like the solider I am, I nutted up and just did it.

I've genuinely had nightmares about being stuck in the jungle at night. If you'd have asked me a week ago to describe my top most terrifying real-world scenarios I'd never want to be in, that probably would have ranked in the top three. Actually experiencing it, however, really wasn't all that bad. I don't know if my mind and body were just too mangled to process exactly what was happening to me (I do remember spending a lot of the time, almost asleep on my feet, not fully knowing where I was, but being quite convinced that I was in a forest in Scotland), or if the lovely, but loud American family had just spooked all the dangerous animals in a fifty mile radius away with their unforgivably loud hollers and yelps, but I didn't find myself feeling at all anxious, or frightened, or...anything, really. It was just something that was happening to me before I could sleep.

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Although in retrospect, it looks fucking terrifying

The walk progressed slowly, with little of interest being spotted, other than a couple of (admittedly pretty sick) stick insects and apparently an opossum (although I didn't see it, myself) and seemed to be winding down without incident. Then, ten minutes or so from camp, Sam's left leg stated burning. Panicking, she told Alfredo what was happening, who traipsed back to her, lifted her trouser-leg and saw, to Sam's horror, but his own light amusement that a not insignificant amount of fire-ants were swarming around her calf. Apparently she had stomped her little stompy feet through their nest and was now paying the price for her murderous hubris. Alfredo swatted the ants away as best he could and we continued walking (or in Sam's case, badly limping) back to the camp.

Once back, we ducked back into our bungalow to make sure neither of us had any more of the nasty little fuckers on us, which thankfully, we did not, and everything was great,forever. The End.

Nah, just kidding; we had an entire fucking colony milling around our socks and lower trousers. We very quickly and with very very little dignity, stripped our khakis off in a bit more of a girlish panic than I'd honestly like to admit, shook the ants free from the trousers, outside and just straight up binned the socks like the unwearable garbage they now were. When we were absolutely sure that we now ant-free (which took so much more time and energy than my body could realistically spare), we headed to dinner; another fairly nice affair full of chicken legs and mashed potato, so I'm told, at least. Genuinely, I don't know, I was so far beyond physically okay that the entire thing really was a bit of a blur for me. I do remember being given a pill by the Indian couple, which they claimed was a combination of painkillers and muscle relaxant and which knocked me out almost as soon as I returned to our room. At least I was too sick to care about spending a night in the jungle- the part of the trip I was most worried about, previously – so uh. Every cloud and all that, I guess. Also, the muscle relaxant didn't even one, as I had worried it might, make me piss the bed. So that's two silver linings, which honestly, is pretty good going, as far as silver linings are concerned.

I was up several times in the night. The jungle is (shockingly) pitch black during the evening and, much like the night before, I found myself awaking with a jolt every two hours or so, to empty my bladder and perform a full and thorough inspection of my bed, using the torch on my phone, to make sure no errant tarantulas had decided to become my erstwhile bedfellows. They hadn't, to be fair, but that doesn't make me hate them any less. Furry, spindly little pricks.

Despite this, I did sleep better than I had the previous night (albeit again, only by the slimmest of margins) and actually found myself, for once, being woken up by my alarm, rather than just being awake several hours before it was due to go off, anyway. Take that, alarm.

Our morning plan was to take the boat out once more, to watch the sun rise over the Amazon and then around to go river-dolphin spotting, which, to be fair, did sound appallingly lovely. The sunrise was mostly obscured by clouds, so wasn't perhaps as impressive as it could have been, though still managed to remain fairly bloody impressive

Neat, I guess.

and what the clouds took away from the gravity of the experience, Alfredo more than added back in by uttering the cryptic, slightly frightening and just very, very metal line of “...His eye opens” as the sun just began to peek over the horizon

BEHOLD!

By the time we had begun dolphin spotting, I had once again grown weary and while I was definitely thoroughly enjoying the experience, and managed, at points, to get incredibly close and take some pretty okayish videos of the ugly, pink little jerks

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I have no way of editing videos out here, but if you wait until around the 30 second mark, you should see a big splashy boy

I was definitely not enjoying my nostrils turning into a snot-faucet and my head being slowly crushed into a singularity from the inside, so by the time we packed it all in and returned home, I was super glad to be doing so, despite feeling a little guilty for thinking like this. To be honest though, as amazing as this experience was (and indeed all the experiences the rainforest had to offer thus far – save for fire-ants, which can go fuck themselves), it was hard for me to really, properly enjoy them, as each time I got close to feeling like I was, the realisation that I am a comparatively rich, white tourist who paid for this experience set in, hard, and, in what has to be the most first-world-problemy way possible, did rather make the entire thing seem a bit...plastic. Not the monkeys though; they were legit.

Once home, we took a quick break; not long enough for a recovery nap, but just about long enough to relax in a hammock for a while

So relaxed...

before being ushered out onto the river by Alfredo once more. This time to go and meet some members of a local tribe. I wasn't particularly thrilled about this part of the tour, feeling that it was perhaps a little ...colonial and exploitative; parading us around this relatively primative tribe, oohing and ahhing at their grass skirts and shitty little home-made crafts and rudimentary hunting techniques and all that, but I did pay...quite a lot for this tour and didn't really want miss any part of it; especially a bit so awkward and unwanted that it was almost guaranteed to generate some dynamite blog-content, so I bundled myself back into the boat and headed off to tribesville.

We arrived at the small village and were directed to sit down inside, what I assumed was the main hut. We had been joined by another, different tour-group for what was about to ensue, which I was uncharacteristically thankful for, as it, at the very least, would dilute some of the attention that our group would get. After a brief talk on the tribe from Alfredo, which didn't exactly blow me away with any fascinating insight into their way of life (they're farmers who grow rice and bananas, they hunt for their food and use blowdarts), we then got another small talk in the tribe's native tongue from the chieftain; short, stern and stocky man, wearing a grass skirt and a large ornamental headdress, who was, hilariously, just called Richard, who essentially just went over the same things as Alfredo, but in a language that seemed to only consist of three independent syllables.

The tribe then demonstrated two of their traditional songs, both of which were accompanied by a dance, with which we were invited to join in (an offer which every single member of our group declined)

Not this guy, though. He was fucking loving it.

and both of which, with the best will in the world, were a bit shit. After a gruelling and genuinely awkward few minutes, the music abated and we were led to a different area to try our hand at blow-gunning, which, I'll be honest, I did rather enjoy, despite myself.

P-tew!

with no time to enjoy my definitely 10/10 blowgun prowess, we were directed immediately to the tribe's market stall, in which we were expected to spend our money on various bits of, to be totally honest, absolute garbage, which the tribe had made. Sam had brought very little money with her and I hadn't thought to bring any, at all, so we had a quick look around to see what we could buy with fifteen soles that was something either one of us would actually like and we weren't just buying because it felt awkward not to. It was then that li'l chief Richard approached us, his hand outstretched, rubbing his thumb against his middle and fore-finger – the international symbol for “give me money”

“Para la musica” he told us. For the music.

Great. Now apparently we had to pay for enduring their shit music which wasn't good and which I didn't enjoy listening to. Perfect. We (Sam) handed him five of our soles and he looked disgusted with us. We (Sam) apologised for not giving more and Richard walked away, unspeaking. I don't care if you are in some jungle tribe with all different culture and everything, rudeness is rudeness. Fuck you, Richard. Prick.

Now feeling a little like what little shine the experience had possessed, previously had very much worn out, we continued being made to browse the tribe's wares, until we finally succumbed to pressure and bought ourselves some tat.

Glad I spend money on this sweet little number

With everyone's pockets now entirely emptied and the lines on who was exploiting who blurred beyond all recognition, we loaded ourselves back onto the boat. Also, a little side-note here, but it was at this point that I watched a portly lady who was on the other tour, lean out of the window of her boat to take one final picture of the tribe, though instead managed to let her phone slip out of her hands and straight to the bottom of the river; an act which I singularly enjoyed infinitely more than I had the last hour or so of tribal interaction and having my money guilted off me. They should genuinely employ someone to do that on every tour, because, honestly, I nearly enjoyed it as much as Monkey Island.

Our next stop was one I could be fucked with almost as much as the previous; piranha fishing. I'm not a huge fan of fishing, to be honest, because I don't really like killing things (although, being in the Amazon does generally make you a little kill-happier. There was no way in hell I was going to scoop up each individual fire-ant on a bit of cardboard and pop them outside on the bungalow's windowsill. It was the boot for them), but we were told by Alfredo that the lodge's chefs would cook up what we caught and we could have them for lunch, which did remove some of the grey morality which which I was struggling.

Turns out I needn't have worried about any of that, though, because I was fucking terrible at Piranha fishing and didn't land a single catch. I couldn't get them to stay on the hook, no matter what I tried and more than likely emptied our group's reserves of spare bait, single-handedly in the process, like the saint I am. Sam, however, being a salty Geordie fish woman, was great at it and caught, as she kept boastfully reminding me of, as if ending the lives of innocent little snappy-boys was something to be proud of, no fewer than four fish. Five, actually, but one wasn't a piranha and was therefore too small to bother cooking (it was, however, too badly damaged to go back in the water and so had to be stomped to death, anyway. What a monster she is.)

After a while, even Sam's bloodlust was sated and we unanimously decided to pack in this whole fishing lark and go back for lunch. I got back on board the boat, over the piranha infested waters as carefully as I have ever done anything in my life and we returned to the lodge for what would be the final time.

We were afforded enough time, once back, for me to have another nap, which, at this point were the only things making me feel even vaguely alive or human, in any sense, before being served our last lodge supper. More mashed potatoes, jungle-beans, the piranhas Sam caught and a big chunky fillet of another, different (and anyone with tastebuds would say) better fish called Pacu and which looks like this

...yummy

I am told that this all tasted quite nice, but by this point, the flu had cruelly taken away my senses of both smell and taste, so I had no idea. I could just about make out that it was very salty, though, so that was something. Small victories.

With that, our jungle experience came to a close and after a strangely intimate hug goodbye with Alfredo, we and the Indian couple (who were the only other guests not booked to stay any longer than a single night) were plopped back on our boat and ferried upstream back to Belavista. A trip which I spent nearly the entirety of asleep, which I like to think was because I had grown so comfortable with being in the jungle, at that point, that I could relax fully in it, but more likely was because I had just been crumpled into a ball of misery and fatigue by my flu over the previous three days. Overall though, being in the jungle was a surprisingly good experience and one that I might even consider doing again at some point, should the opportunity arise. A solid 9/10, except for, as I've said, the fire-ants which can go fuck themselves.

Back on terra firma, we were wizzed via tuktuk first back to the company's headquarters, where we finally parted ways with the Indian couple – hopefully actually to never see them again this time, and then to our new AirBnb, in which we would spend out final few days in Iquitos.

Our new AirBnb, as it happens, was actually a collection of luxury riverfront apartments, in which, we had unknowingly booked the nicest room. We were checked in by the receptionist, Diego, who looked the spitting image of a brown Zach Woods and who was incredibly welcoming and helpful to an almost snivelling degree (not entirely unlike every character Zach Woods plays, now I think of it.) Diego explained everything there was to explain about the apartment in frankly laborious detail and, after dropping this info-dump on us and bidding us welcome, asked us point blanc

“what's my name?”

I suppose this was as some kind of test to see if we had retained the information he had just said, rather than a test of politeness, or some weird ego-trip. Regardless, I did not remember what it was. I was hard-humped with flu and generally disregard someone's name the first three times they tell me it, even when it is someone I know I'll actually see again.

“...What's. My. Name?” he repeated.

I laughed and told him I'd just be in the jungle for two days, so I'd forgotten. This seemed to be an acceptable enough answer for him and he immediately flicked back to his friendly, helpful self, creepily seamlessly. The entire interlude was really quite odd, totally out of keeping what the rest of what I'd seen of his personality and I'm almost certain, a preamble to my own murder.

Doing our best to put whatever psychosis we had just witnessed behind us, we settled in to our new digs. This apartment, a penthouse suite overlooking the Naney river, was about as different from living in the jungle as it was possible to get, and let me tell you, the change was one hundred percent welcomed by me.

The view is spectacular

...I mean if you’re into things like that.

The bed was comfy, the fridge loaded with pre-cooled water bottles, the kitchen fully stocked and the entire apartment almost entirely bug-free, due in no small part to its remarkably effective AC system, which really did turn the flat into a little icy paradise of excess, amidst a sea of poverty and sweat.

We couldn't quite settle in fully just yet, though. Sam insisted that we make a quick outing to the supermarket, because apparently she needed shampoo and apparently wasn't willing to go alone, for fear of being “mugged” or “abducted and killed” by a “crime man”, which to be honest, I felt was very selfish of her.

For the final time that day, then, I dragged what was left of my body out through the streets of Iquitos, to the supermarket and back, before finally being able to collapse onto our exceptionally soft airbnb couch, to eat a modest dinner of a single sausage and a couple of minty biscuits, while watching the Peru episode of an Idiot Abroad - because watching someone else suffer through what I just had was really the only thing that had the capability of making me feel any better at that point – and then heading directly to our comfy, comfy bed, which I believe I must have fallen asleep in, before my head had even touched the pillow. I have never been more done.

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 5 years

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Michael in the Mainstream: Captain Marvel

Captain Marvel is one of the MCU’s most powerful characters right now, one of the few heroes who can even have a hope of defeating Thanos, so of course she needs to have a movie. Throwing in a bunch of heroes into an ensemble film without properly setting them up is what amateurs do, and at this point Marvel is no amateur; they know how to properly set up heroes… kind of. You see, Marvel Studios has a bit of a problem when it comes to origin films: they’re all very, very similar, very formulaic, and sometimes even predictable. That’s not to say they’re bad, far from it! Films like Black Panther, Ant-Man, and Doctor Strange are all rather formulaic but they all have interesting twists to the formula that makes them feel fun and exciting. Marvel is a lot better with quirkier fare, ensemble movies, and sequels than they are with solo origin films, Iron Man notwithstanding, but they usually find a way to make things feel fresh.

Captain Marvel… does and doesn’t achieve this. Captain Marvel is probably the most “Marvel” Marvel movie yet made; it feels like a film they would have released a decade ago, during Phase 1 or Phase 2. And there is actually a good reason for that; this movie has been in the plannig stages for a long, long time, but racist, sexist, cheapskate CEO Ike Perlmutter wouldn’t let this film be made because he didn’t think non-white, non-male leads could sell (a laughable sentiment when looking at superhero films nowadays), only relenting to let the film be made if Kevin Feige made an Inhumans movie, which fell through when Feige managed to get rid of the meddler and get him exiled to the Marvel TV department. This film has been a long time coming, and it feels like it.

But I can’t say the film is bad; it’s most definitely not, and there’s a lot to love in the film. At the same time though, it’s easy to see why someone might not find themselves sucked into this; it’s a film coming out in Phase 3 that feels like it belongs in Phase 1. Where it would have been one of the best Marvel films of the early phases, it struggles a bit to stand out in the current MCU where the past few films have been nothing but home runs, and competing superhero cinematic universes have also been producing quality films, with Spider-Verse and Aquaman in particular bringing a lot of new stuff to the table. It just feels like Captain Marvel is almost irrelevat in the current landscape aside from introducing Carol Danvers to the MCU.

And yet… this is still a good, fun movie, because it delivers exactly what it promises, and it does the one thing I consider the saving grace of any film that would otherwise be average: it is wholly, unabashedly cheesy.

So let’s talk about what I loved first. The Skrulls are easily the very best part of the film, particularly Talos. Talos is one of the most interesting and complex antagonists in the MCU so far, and there’s a lot more to him than it initially seems. Just the fact that in general the Skrulls are now part of the MCU is absolutely delightful, as it seemed for so long they’d be exiled from continnuity due to Fox owning the rights to the most famous Skrull, Super-Skrull, due to his close ties to the Fantastic Four (though this is no longer a problem). To say much more about what makes the Skrulls so great would be to spoil one of the few genuinely good twists the movie has to offer, but it is a pretty neat twist on what you’d expect from Skrulls.

Carol herself, as played by Brie Larson, is a mostly enjoyable character. I think Carol is a bit shaky right now, having to deal with the tired amnesia plot and not getting to use her powers all that much, but for the most part she’s an enjoyable hero. I think she’ll fare a lot better in ensemble films and sequels, because Larson does a really good job, it’s just that so much of the movie is spent with her being limited. However, this is mitigated by the fact that she has great chemistry with Samuel L. Jackson, and pretty much every scene with Fury and Carol interacting is amazing. Speaking of Jackson, the effects used to de-age him are nothing short of stunning; you can’t even tell its CGI, it’s that good. Far better than the de-aging effects used in films like Rogue One, that’s for sure

The soundtrack is pretty good, though sometimes it’s a bit too on-the-nose. The usage of “Come As Your Are” is so literal it hurts, and the usage of “Just a Girl” is so utterly cheesy. But I think stuff like this helps add to the film’s charm, as does the fact that this movie is honestly, genuinely funny, especially due to the aforementioned banter between Carol and Fury, as well as the presence of Goose the cat, who Fury dotes over and who plays quite an amusing and cool role in the film, shockingly enough. Goose might be one of the best characters in the film honestly, which is not often something you hear about a pet cat.

Of course, not everything is perfect. A lot of the action is nauseatingly shaky and weirdly poorly choreographed, with the exception of the final battle and perhaps Carol’s escape from the Skrulls near the start. For a superhero movie, having such wonky action is inexcusable, though thankfully there’s not too much fighting… or not thankfully, since again, this is a superhero film, the sort of film where you expect superhero action. It’s not all bad, but when it gets bad it gets really bad.

There’s also the underutilization of characters. You know how the return of Ronan and Coulson was hyped up? Well, unfortunately for everyone, both of their screentimes are incredibly limited to the point they are essentially cameos, though Ronan feels like a cameo moreso than Coulson. Korath, too, is a bit wasted, though he at least gets a little more prominence with him being part of Carol’s initial squad, though he’s still not exactly focused on to any great extent. It just feels so pointless to have these actors come back to these roles if they’re essentially playing meaningless bit parts, especially in the case of Korath and Ronan, seeing as we know they end up dying anyway. It just seems like a huge missed opportunity to do something with these characters.

And of course, the whole amnesia plot kind of holds things back. Not that it’s done poorly, but it is a tired trope that is tricky to pull off, and considering Carol’s amnesia holds back the plot and holds her back from using her powers to any great extent, it does feel like more of a burden than anything that leads to interesting developments. It doesn’t help that most of the stuff revealed over the course of her rediscovering who she is is stuff that you could easily figure out on your own from nothing more than promotional material and the obvious hints throughout the film; it just feels like a contrivance to keep Carol in a weakened, vulnerable state instead of letting her let loose. Say what you will about Superman movies, but he at least gets to be Superman for vast swaths of the film in his origin story movies. Here, Carol’s big Captain Marvel moments really only come at the end, though I can’t stress enough that the final battle is a pretty cool sequence.

Still, nothing in this movie is done excessively poorly; there’s nothing here as bad as the Iron Man sequels or Thor: The Dark World. On the other hand though, there’s nothing here as innovative or impressive as in Thor: Ragnarok, Infinity War, Black Panther, or Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, with the exception of the Skrulls. There’s a lot of good elements here, obviously, but most of the stuff really just doesn’t elevate this movie to greatness; it’s merely a good, even very good film, but not as great as it should be nor as bad as some make it out to be. And this isn’t entirely the film’s fault; as I said, Perlmutter’s meddling did keep this on the backburner for a long, long time, so it’s frankly amazing the film is any good at all.

Really, whether you love or hate this is going to boil down to how much you can tolerate cheesiness. I live and breathe cheesiness, I have been exposed to cheese since I was young, so of course I’m pretty fond of this film. I’m also a huge fan of Skrulls so it’s a given I’d like a film with them in it. But if you don’t like this film, if you just don’t connect, well, it’s hard to blame you. It’s not an amazing or groundbreaking film, and really that’s a shame, because it could have and should have been. But on the other hand, not every film needs to exist to break new ground, not every film needs to change the world… sometimes films can just exist and be good.

Captain Marvel is a film that has attracted a lot of controversy, vitriol, and debating over it, making it one of the most controversial superhero movies in recent memory. Beyond that sentence I’m not going to even bother addressing any of that, because it is all the most idiotic drivel I have seen in regards to film in years. This is an utterly harmless superhero movie through and through, and any argument otherwise is just pointless drivel.

I really wish this could have come out years ago, because this would have been a game-changer back when superhero films were first breaking through. In this day and age? It’s just a good, fun movie, nothing less. I have faith Carol’s next outings, in Endgame and her inevitable sequels, will be a lot stronger and more polished and full of interesting developments, but her first outing is simply a fun time before the inevitable heartbreak and mindblowing that Endgame promises. I’m kind of okay with that; it’s nice to have a little calm before the storm.

#Michael in the Mainstream #review #movie review #Captain Marvel #MCU #Marvel #superhero movie #Brie Larson #Samuel L. Jackson #Nick Fury

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smokeybrand · 2 years

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Bad Chances and False Sympathies

I am a massive fan of the Aliens/Predator franchise. I reference the Trinity of my childhood all the time (Godzilla, Transformers, and Spider-Man) but Alien, and Star Wars, are right there. Those two franchises are literally just a step behind the top three, in regards to my fandom. I f*cking love Alien, man. That first film is arguably top three for me, as close to a near perfect film as can be, and the Dark Horse work is mostly unassailable. Earth War and the original AvP being some of my favorite stories, ever. I also love how effortlessly Aliens seems to be able to create properly brilliant female protagonists. Ellen Ripley. Amanda Ripley. Newt. F*cking Machiko Noguchi. I wrote an entire essay about her. Human, Female, and Yautja? Blooded after defeating a Queen with only an injured Clan Leader? Plus, if I'm not mistaken, she killed a SECOND Queen, too. Machiko is bad ass and my second favorite lead of an Alien story, after the OG Ripley. I love Alien, so when the Mouse House bought Fox, i was tentatively enthusiastic. I am not enthused any more.

I have read every issue of Disney Aliens so far and find myself mildly disgusted. This sh*t sucks, bro. Like, i get it; They’re Marvel comics now and, of course, Marvel is going to integrate this sh*t into the greater Marvel continuity. Of course they would, you gotta make duckets of that sh*t. These IPs were bonus investments by the Mouse House so why not send them over to the House of Ideas to be developed? Because all of those ideas, so far, are f*cking dumb. I like the violence and gore. The body horror stuff is decent but can definitely be amped up some. I like the Weyland-Yutani stuff. I like how these first stories feel contained in their own universe. I do not like the idea of Xenos and Preddy-boys existing in the same universe as f*cking Captain Marvel or the goddamn Phoenix Force. Like, how? Besides, the Klyntar and/or the Brood pretty much take up the same space as the Xenos. Keeping this sh*t contained in it’s own little bubble is the best way to tell these stories but the storied themselves? Blergh.

I read all of Bloodlines, the first six issues of Disney initial run at the Xenomorphs. It’s adequate. It’s a small scale yarn basically about terrorism. It’s intimate and kind of a toe-dipper, which works for a company who has no idea how to tell these kinds of stories. Overall, i wasn’t mad. I don’t care for some of the retcons, like the vision thing with the chestburster or the sudden appearance of the “definitely not Praetorian”, Alpha Xenomorph, but other than that, Bloodlines is harmless. It’s nowhere near as good as even mediocre Dark Horse stories, but it’s not terrible. The next arc, however? This one is a f*cking mess. Currently, we’re only ten issues in so there’s probably two left for this arc, but i am wholly unimpressed. The writing is adequate but the characters are bad, man. It’s staggering to me how egregious these idiots are and the weird f*cking bellybursters? What the f*ck even is the point of those? That right there is my biggest frustration with the Disney take so far; Lack of imagination.

Xenomorphs literally can be anything. They take genetics from their hosts and uses them to create the basal for for their biomechanical bodies. Alien 3 established this sort of and the Kenner toys ran with it, supported by little comics, themselves. Over the years, you got different variants and sh*t, like the ever popular Predalien. So why the f*ck do we have these lame ass bellyburster things, that go right back into some other host’s mouth, and a Praetorian that’s not a Praetorian? Like, Disney already assimilated the Dark Horse continuity, why not use it? Why the f*ck you out here making up lame sh*t to fill your lack of inspiration? But, even that, i can somewhat forgive. The uninspired additions to the ore i can tolerate because a better writer can make them work later. I can abide that sh*t, to an extent. What i can’t abide is this goddamn “Goddess” character. Why the f*ck is Sil in my goddamn Alien content, man?

The Woman in Dark is easily the most egregious transgression this story has inflicted upon my loving franchise to date. This sh*t smacks of the Symbiote god, Knull, and i hate it as much as i hate that asshole. F*cking why? Why is this necessary? What purpose does this, admittedly dope looking, glorified Giger Easter Egg, ave to do with the plot? I don’t know! There has been no reference to this b*tch outside of some dope looking art! What little we do get, id in the first issue of Bloodlines, i think, and the b*tch act like a Queen! There have been no Queens in the ten issues released. I swear to god, if they retcon Her majesty out of the Alien mythos and prop this dizzy b*tch up as the monarch, i am going to spit. The “Goddess” is a slap in the face of the dopest thing Cameron added to the mythos. I get you, as a new writer, as a new owner, want to come in and shake things up but effectively firing your MVP, your f*cking star draw, in favor of your OC, is f*cking stupid.

Like i said, we’re only ten issues in and, admittedly, we don’t know sh*t about the Woman in Dark. She’s my biggest frustration and i don’t have enough information to really hate her. But i don’t like her at all. I don’t what she represents, just like i don’t like the trajectory of how Marvel, and Disney, is aiming this franchise. I had already tempered my expectations when the Fox merger went through but the Alien content released so far? I honestly couldn’t temper me expectations low enough. So far, i don’t care for Disney Aliens and that sucks so much dick. I love this franchise and it feels like an afterthought to the boardroom. There’s a new movie in the works, written and directed by the guy who did the Evil Dead remake so that might be good. Or it’ll get kneecapped because, you know, Disney. I’m leaning toward that. Look what they did to the other Silver Medal franchise of my childhood. Star Wars is still reeling from that Disney acquisition. Alien has just punched it’s ticket on that same pain-train.

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ryanmeft · 7 years

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Thor: Ragnarok Impressions

I really liked Thor: Ragnarok. I'll put my cards on the table: I am probably going to like movies in this shared Marvel universe more than the average bear. It seems that the more pissed I get at Marvel as a whole (a long story), the better their movies get. 2017 dropped three of my favorites, as well as a non-MCU bonus in the form of Logan. I'm a happy nerd.

I also don't really want to go over the high points again. Every nerd and critic has already done that. So instead, I decided to share a handful of entirely personal thoughts I had about the movie during and after. Here goes.

Chris Hemsworth did not just become funny Inexplicably, I've heard a lot of chatter that Thor is finally funny in Ragnarok. I'm wondering where these people have been for the rest of the films, or for Chris Hemsworth's career. Thor has been the most comedically versatile regular character in the MCU for a while. Yes, more so than Iron Man, who rarely veers from his arrogant-playboy routine, and more so than Cap, who relies on his man-out-of-time shtick for laughs. He's even funnier than any of the Guardians. All of those characters are entertaining and play off each other well, but Hemsworth can do it all himself. He's able to simultaneously make Thor a lovable lug and poke fun at his tough guy image. It isn't that he becomes funny in Ragnarok, it's that Taika Waititi takes off the cuffs and allows him free rein.

Did they just actually move Loki's character forward? NOTE: HUGE SPOILERS IN THIS SECTION Tom Hiddleston has always been a gift to the MCU. For one thing, no two actors in the franchise play off each other as well as Hemsworth and Hiddleston. For another, he somehow makes the "Snake" character work. Most of the time, when someone continually changes sides (Miles Teller in the Divergent series, for instance), you wonder why the other characters don't just off them and get it over with. By comparison, Marvel has done an excellent job over multiple directors of maintaining Loki's character and relationship to Thor in ways that let us see why the God of Thunder keeps the God of Mischief around. In this particular movie, Loki is literally given the task of destroying Asgard to stop Hela, and seems to have mended his relationship with his brother. But...did he take the Cosmic Cube at the end? Of course he did. Not only can I see no other way he could have gotten onto the ship to escape, but it actually makes sense. Otherwise, the Infinity Stone inside would have been left adrift at the site where the world it was known to be on just exploded, for anyone to amble along and pick up. That may not be Loki's motivation, but Thanos did promise to hunt him down if he didn't bring him the Cube. And according to descriptions of the unreleased Infinity War trailer shown at Disney's D23 event, one scene pictures a kneeling Loki...handing Thanos the cube. If you think Loki's constant betrayals are getting old, there's another wrinkle: perhaps he agreed to serve Thanos again in order to spare the survivors of Asgard.

The movie definitely delivered on the title Going in, I did not expect the film would follow the comics, in which, last I read, Ragnarok really happened and Asgard as we knew it was destroyed. In fact, the movie followed that pretty closely, with the exception of Loki not being the one to initiate the apocalypse. Asgard is gone, and Thor is getting ready to re-home his people on earth, similar to the comics Thor. This seems like a pretty bold move for the movies, but really, the Thor series and character were too tethered to Asgard, in many ways. Ragnarok was obviously meant as a clear break with the dour and serious tone of the previous Thor movies, and severing the character's ties to Asgard was a necessary step. Also, I know critics aren't supposed to like final battles, but that one was pretty epic. I don't recall a giant green monster fighting Fenrir in the original myths.

Throwing the cast together really works There's not much to elaborate on here. Tessa Thompson kicks major ass and is mercifully not set up much as a love interest. Loki and Thor work as well as they always do. The Hulk and Banner fit surprisingly well, with Mark Ruffalo playing off the proceeding as himself as well as he does when he's CGi-ed up. Karl Urban seems to have had a lot of scenes cut behind those meaningful looks, but his role works fairly well. Idris Elba's Heimdall finally gets more to do than stand there looking serious, and it's about damn time. Several movies could easily be made out of this group. Even Benedict Cumberbatch's brief appearance as Doctor Strange is fun. The only letdown is no appearance by Jamie Alexander's Sif. It would have been great to see her and Valkyrie get into a drunken arm-wrestling match. I also need to mention that Thompson's inclusion pisses off racists, which is awesome.

Marvel's villains keep improving I've never been on the all-Marvel's-villains-suck bandwagon, but there's no question 2017 has seen their best ones yet. The Vulture from Spider-Man still takes the prize, but Cate Blanchett's Hela is deliciously dark, and Jeff Goldblum's deliciously devious Grandmaster is a treat. It's honestly hard for me to see how Thanos could top any of 2017's baddies.

Taika Waititi! He can do no wrong. Everybody run out and see Hunt for the Wilderpeople and What We Do in the Shadows, right now. I wouldn't whine if they had him back for the next film.

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hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger · 6 years

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No Comicstorian, Marvel DOESN’T need a reboot Part 2: Miles Morales isn’t the whole Marvel Universe

I continue to debunk the BS of this video about Spider-Man/Marvel needing a reboot as proven by Spidey PS4.

youtube

This time out we handle the bulk of his points and learn that really this is all about how he feels about Miles Morales.

What is Comicstorian’s next point.

“In Marvel’s rolling timeline they move the events of the pas forward in time and update stuff to it like how Flash Thompson was a bully like in the 1960s stories but it was now because of his Dad”

That isn’t an update and that has nothing to do with a rolling timeline. That’s a flashback, a character reveal, a retcon, character development, whatever you want to call it.

Claiming this is an example of how Marvel’s ‘timeline’ works is like saying that about Harry Osborn being revealed as having Daddy issues like the year after he was introduced.

“Flash’s Daddy issues got turned into him becoming Agent Venom”

No, Flash becoming Agent Venom was due to his history as a solider and his adoration of Spider-Man. his Daddy issues played into it kinda sorta yeah but that’s not an issue related to a rolling timeline, that’s just making use of a character’s established history.

“Adding stuff into the Marvel timeline without removing stuff or rebooting makes it more convoluted because now everything happened even though it doesn’t make sense in the modern day’

That isn’t how Marvel’s timeline works.

Marvel’s timeline works off the premise everything happened and you just ignore anachronisms and/or generalize them.

Flash Thompson being drafted into Vietnam where he met Vietnamese woman Sha Shan became Flash Thompson went into the military during college and over seas met Sha Shan.

We don’t confirm he went to Vietnam but we do not contradict it either.

And this has worked for *checks watch* over 55 years. Comiscstorian claims that it’s confusing and convoluted to have such a big history but...clearly it isn’t because they still make money and make a lot more money than DC does with it’s frequent reboots.*

Meanwhile DC has removed stuff in their history and replaced it with other stuff or rebooted it wholesale and whatever to modernize things and wound up with an even more convoluted fucked up mess than Marvel ever had because there are literally 9 different versions of Superman.

And even specific versions of him ran into the exact same ‘problem’ Marvel had because the superman of 2002 who’d been around since 1986 would’ve still had anachronisms in his history from those 1980s stories.

“DC have never done a true reboot outside of the Nu52”

Yes they have. You can debate the meaning of ‘true reboot’ to an extent but if you are going to codify the Nu52 as an example of one then 1985’s Crisis on Infinite Earths would DEFINITELY be a true reboot.

“Batman has never truly been rebooted”

This is not true at all.

Whilst it is accurate to say of all DC characters and franchises, Batman has changed the least from reboot to reboot, to say he’s not changed at all is ignorant.

When originally conceived Bruce Wayne had no Butler or father figure. Alfred was introduced as a gag character who got in his way but morphed into a loyal butler.

Then when Batman was rebooted in the 1980s Alfred and his history drastically altered. Now Bruce had a perennial father figure in Alfred who’d been there his whole life and helped him on his quest to becoming Batman from the outset.

Whether Batman carried fire arms or not in his early career is also something that has altered from version to version.

The circumstances under which he met Jason Todd have changed.

How and when he revealed his identity to Catwoman has changed.

Selinia’s entire backstory has been all over the place.

Two-Face’s origin and Batman’s role within it has changed.

The role of Jim Gordon and Batman’s relationship to him has radically changed, as he was originally not a father figure to the Dark Knight.

There is so much more but I’ll stop here. Batman’s history is not AS fraught with contradictions as Superman’s or Wonder Woman’s but those major alterations still exist.

“With rebooted characters (like in DC’s case) in terms of needing to understand what is currently happening in modern comics, like the Flash you only need to go back to 2011”

Marvel still outsells DC most of the time in spite of their long continuity.

Marvel for the longest time wrote their comics with the belief that every comic is someone’s first and should be accessible, meaning you never needed to go back at all if you didn’t want to, any issue was a jumping on point.

I am a personal testament to this. My first Spider-Man comic was part 4 of a 4 part story wrapping up 28 months worth of incredibly convoluted plot lines. But because it was a good story in that issue and written accessibly I still loved it and became hooked.

This mentality also gives no shits towards story integrity.

If eventually any story is just going to be rebooted why bother emotionally investing at all?

Why does any story matter if they can all just be changed or thrown out the window whenever for the sake of a new version.

“Marvel tried to fix their continuity problem in 2000 when they did the Ultimate universe which allowed for fresh takes on the characters and a chance to remove the problematic elements and make them work better in this current timeline.”

Yeah and then that universe lasted just 15 years and then died on it’s ass after hobbling along since 2008, with Ultimate Spider-Man itself becoming creatively impoverished before Miles Morales showed up.

Also ‘removing the problematic elements’? You mean like Venom and Carnage having personalities? Because...having personalities was an idea that was dated in the 2000s?

“The Ultimate universe needed to be shut down because things had gotten too convoluted like the main universe”

If the Ult Universe was too convoluted to be allowed to continue why was the even more convoluted 616 universe continued and in fact selling more than it?

It’s almost like the Ultimate Universe fell into decline not because of too much convoluted history but because the stories sucked shit and no one gave a damn because they weren’t the original characters anyway.

“In modern continuity Steve Rogers is back to normal but he’s still HYDRA Steve Rogers, still Old man Rogers, still so convoluted”

That isn’t convoluted.

That’s just a lot of stuff happening. It’d be convoluted if he was all those things at the same time, but in reality he was just one thing after the other.

And whilst that does kinda suck because a lot of those things were trash, the idea of events occurring like that isn’t being convoluted. It’s just storytelling.

All those things occurred within the last 10 years of Captain America meaning that had Cap been rebooted 10 years ago by Comicstorian’s logic he’d need a reboot by now.

By his logic the Flash should be rebooted again soon because too much shit has happened.

I’d love for this guy to like check out long running manga like One Piece or Sailor Moon which has even wackier stuff in even shorter spaces of time and all within the same continuity.

“It’s all just a mess!!!!!!”

Translation: Comicstorian, the guy who you would think would know and appreciate comic book history and is able to roll with it, is pissed off that things are too hard to follow.

Like Jesus fucking Christ this loser is a weaksauce fan. MOST comic book fans know and can roll with the weird histories, even learning to love them.

This guy’s name is literally riding against his fucking attitudes.

“Spider-Man history is convoluted because he was married but then he sold it to the devil so now he isn’t”

This is the most damning example of Comicstorian knowing jack shit.

Because of all things in Marvel One More Day is the closest thing to a continuity reboot akin to DC’s.

He is literally pointing at a continuity reboot and saying it makes things a confusing effed up mess and then tries to use that to justify us...doing more of the same???????????????????

“its so convoluted because he keeps going back to collage”

You mean like....real life people do?

“Spider-Man history is so convoluted because there is a whole series of venom lethal protector”

Okay so first of all Lethal protector was a mini-series not a whole series.

Second of all that is VENOM HISTORY not SPIDER-MAN history.

What? EVERY SPIN OFF counts towards making a character more convoluted?

“Miles morales in the 616 universe only works if you don’t question his origin”

I mean that is true but whilst not strictly speaking a reboot Miles’ migration from one universe to the next is storywise more similar to the types of convoluted messes that occur when continuity reboots happen.

Case in point Power Girl being taken from Earth 2 and incorporated into the newly rebooted post-crisis DC universe or the deal with all the Milestone comics characters.

Miles however is UNIQUE in these problems among Marvel characters whereas it’s more similar to the deal with DC characters.

And Comicstorian is so blind he can’t even see that.

*Comicstorian explains Miles is already a part of PS4 Spider-Man’s universe thus avoiding the problems of him being convoluted and by extention proving Marvel needs to reboot stuff*

Basically this whole mess of a video exists off the back of how this one video game fixed the story problems of this one character in the Marvel universe who’s situation is actually unique among Marvel characters and more comparable to DC ones.

THAT is why Comicstorian thinks ALL OF MARVEL should be rebooted.

“we need a linear timeline for these sueprheroes now!”

Most of the marvel heroes alreadyhave a linear timeline and always did in the pre-internet age when marvel fans just picked up the latest issue and winged it.

“I have a nephew and it’s so hard to just give him a comic book”

Then maybe Comicstorian’s nephew just won’t find comic books to his taste because that’s literally how every comic book fan got indoctrinated.

Just fucking give him ASM vol 5 #1 by Spencer and if the story is good enough for him he’s in. It’s incredibly accessible for the most part.

“It’s so hard explaining Miles morales to my nephew”

Yeah because Miles is UNIQUE in having that convoluted a backstory.

“Marvel history is too convoluted for younger audience members”

Again I jumped onboard literally at the end of the most convulted Spider-Man era of all time, I dealt with divergences from the cartoon Spider-Man I knew, I purchased info books detailing his long crazy history.

I was fine.

In fact those info books are still sold on the mass market so they clearly have an audience for that convoluted history.

“We don’t want kids to be intimidated by the confusing history like we adults are”

Kids don’t view that stuff the way adults to, they’re more accepting of shit and roll with it.

“It’s a lot to try and get into Spider-Man”

If only there were jumping on points peppered throughout Spider-Man’s history which are ways for you to get invested without going through everything before hand?

“The PS4 game is the best version of Spider-Man ever!”

Better in some respects not as great in others.

“It’s the best version because it’s one straight path”

Pretty sure it’s more to do with the characetrization and stuff.

#Miles Morales #Comicstorian #Spider-Man #Peter Parker #Ultimate Marvel Universe #Ultimate Comics #Ultimate Marvel #Marvel Comics #marvel universe #DC #DC Comics #DC Universe #spider-man ps4 #Spider-Man Playstation 4 #Insomniac Spider-Man #insomniac games

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mshermia · 4 years

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Like You’d Know How It Works

Chapters: 9/9 Fandom: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Morgan Stark, May Parker (Spider-Man), Doctor Strange, Nebula, Scott Lang, Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner, James “Rhodey” Rhodes, Happy Hogan

Summary:

Endgame Fix-it.

Straight after the battle is won - or lost, depending on your perspective - Peter tries to convince the Avengers to save Mr. Stark by going back into the Quantum Realm.

On AO3

Chapter 1

“I told you, it doesn’t work like that!” Hulky-Banner’s right arm had been immobilized with a sling hanging around his neck. Therefore, it was his left that rubbed the bridge of his nose. He then waved it dismissively as if all was said on the matter and the conversation over. Nope. Peter was nowhere near done.

Someone had organized this room at Metro General hospital for them to sit and talk. Sitting was not an option for Peter though. He couldn’t bear to sit. He couldn’t bear to have anyone look at his injuries either, not when there were more pressing matters to attend to.

“You said that whatever we do in the past will not change our present!” Peter’s fist hit the table with a crash. They simply weren’t listening. His face felt grimy and tight in places where the dirt from the battlefield stuck to the tears he had cried over Mr. Stark’s body. Maybe he should have thought of washing the traces off his face before confronting a few of the Avengers and Doctor Strange. It might have made him seem a little more collected. A little more rational. “That’s what you just said!”

“Yes, yes that’s true—”

“Then let’s go get him! We can just use some particles, go to 2012 or 1970 where Mr. Stark is running around already wearing the quantum suit and… and we just bring him here. Hell, let’s pick any time, Thanos didn’t even need a suit to travel. Neither did Gamora or Nebula after her fake copy took hers.”

“That’s not how it works, kid!” Rogers stepped closer to him, his hand reaching for Peter’s shoulder. He sidestepped him before the Captain could touch him and turned to face him.

“Oh, shut up, Rogers. Like you of all people understand how it works!” Peter’s voice was vibrating with anger. Why in the world were his mentor’s supposed teammates so set against giving Mr. Stark a second chance? He had risked everything for everyone else. Again. And this time lost it all. His fiancé. His future. His life.

“It’s not what Tony would have wanted.”

“Again, Captain. Like you of all people would know what Mr. Stark wanted!”

“I’ve known him for quite a bit longer than you have, kid!” Rogers visibly pulled himself together. He fought to keep his expression calm, but Peter wasn’t looking for calm. He would escalate this situation without a second thought to stand up for Mr. Stark.

“That means nothing! Last time I checked, Mr. Stark wouldn’t have trusted you to tell him the truth about whether it’s raining outside, let alone with what he would have wanted!”

“Hey now…” Hulky-Banner stepped closer to Peter, arms spread out. But Peter had no interest in being conciliated.

“There’s really no need for this tone, boy,” Rogers intervened. “I understand that this is difficult for you to grasp at this point, but a lot has happened while you weren’t here. Things between us had changed.”

Peter’s eyes were fixed on the Captain. His pulse was racing. Was Rogers really that naive? Did he not know Mr. Stark at all? He let out a humorless laugh.

“He might have tried to move on or even told you, that he was over it and that what happened… what you did was in the past… for his sake. But he would have never trusted you with anything important… with anything that mattered to him! Never!”

Rogers’ hands were balled up into fists. A red flush was creeping across his face. Hulky-Banner had stepped between them, but the Captain towered behind him, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Oh, Peter would get him to snap. He would poke him as often as Rogers would need it to lose his cool. He would get the satisfaction to… punch him in his perfect teeth.

There was a sting deep in his heart, real physical pain caused by the mere thought of Mr. Stark’s voice, their banter in the lab, just being around him. He took a step back from Banner, a shiver running through him. He couldn’t cry now. Not again. They’d never take him seriously if he would cry.

Peter tried to control his heart rate, took a few deep breaths. Mastering his anxiety and the stress of the situation. Just like Mr. Stark had taught— Urgh, nope. He couldn’t think about that right now! His mind was racing. He needed to convince them. He needed their help to bring Mr. Stark back. There was no way that he could figure this out on his own.

“They are right, Peter. Time is a difficult construct. There are rules that have to be followed and when we break them, we might make a mess. An enormous unnecessary mess, that we can’t take back. Tony deserves better than that.” Strange had taken a seat at the opposite end of the room, furthest away from him. The sorcerer seemed to know what was good for him.

“You said, we would win.” Peter was proud, how strong his voice sounded. With all of them against him, against Mr. Stark, he was fighting a losing battle against his emotions, but he couldn’t let his weakness show. “14 Million possible futures and you said we would win this one!”

“Peter, Tony was trying to save Earth. To save the universe. He won.”

“Bullshit!” His breath hitched. He wanted to scream at the wizard, rage at him, but if he did, his voice might finally break. He might finally break. His eyes landed on Colonel Rhodes, who had been quietly observing, which in itself ticked Peter off. He was Mr. Stark’s friend! How was he not speaking up for him?!

“Pete…” he sighed, leaning back in his chair. “Messing with time travel any more than we did… we don’t know what ripple effect it would have for the alternate reality that splits off. Or… or whatever it is that happens. It could cause more pain, more suffering. You know that Tony wouldn’t want that.”

Peter’s mouth fell open in shock. “We don’t know that! We don’t know that anything bad would happen at all or if anyone would be any worse off! We do know that this world right here is suffering now! Miss Potts is suffering right now! We can change that! We can get him back! They deserve better! Mr. Stark deserves better!”

Rhodes cast his eyes to the ground, softly shaking his head. “We can’t play God. It’s not right, Pete.”

Shock let him gape at Rhodes. How… how could he say that? How could he…

“I… how can you give up on him… You’re supposed to be his best friend!” Peter turned away from him facing the others again. “What is wrong with you people?! How can you still not care? After… after everything he has done for you?!”

Rogers’ clenched his jaw before he spoke up again. “Listen, kid, I get that you feel guilty that Tony risked everything he had to get you back, but screwing around with the Quantum Realm any more than we already have is not an option. Tony knew that there was a chance that he could die. Yes, this sucks and we do care. Nobody here wanted to lose him, but we did. That is the harsh reality we have to deal with now.”

That was it. Peter’s head was just gonna explode. “Do you even hear yourself—” But then he fell silent, brow furrowed in sudden thought. “Wait… wait, what did you just say?”

The Captain’s face had lost a considerable amount of anger, his jaw now hanging open in silence. Peter took a step towards him, not worried but aware that he couldn’t feel his legs anymore.

“What did you just say?”

Peter turned to the sound of Colonel Rhodes braces engaging and found the man had stood up and was walking up towards him.

“Pete—”

No. No. No. No! “That’s… that’s not true. That can’t be true.” He couldn’t make his voice work properly. Just a low whisper came over his lips.

“Well, that was subtle, Cap…”

Without his enhanced hearing Peter probably wouldn’t have caught it. He spun around and his eyes fell on Lang looming behind Rogers. He tried to say it again with more conviction as he turned his eyes back on Rogers.

“That’s not true. You’re lying!” A familiar sense of pressure was building up in his chest and he tried to control his heart, his breathing, his spinning thoughts.

“Tony would have done anything for you, Pete. And you know that.” He pushed Rhodes hand off his shoulder and turned again, his mind dizzy. They were wrong. They had to be wrong.

“No… not when Ms. Potts… He wouldn’t… he would never risk losing Ms. Potts for-” Movement behind Colonel Rhodes pulled in his focus. Down the corridor of the hospital wing his mentor’s fiancé had just stepped into his eye line as if waiting for his cue. Or… or probably his wife at this point. Pepper Potts or Pepper Stark. He didn’t know. But she wasn’t the only one that was walking down the hallway away from them to the other side of the building. A young girl, clasping her hand tightly, was walking alongside her. A little girl, who… oh god.

The commotion behind him didn’t really register. His body was frozen in place, his mind empty, with the exception of one thought. Just a whisper of his sub-conscience at first, but the longer his eyes were fixed on the girl, the more the fact registered.

“That’s… that’s Morgan. She's—”

“Don’t.” Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it.

He didn’t need Rhodes to say it. He didn’t want to hear it. The undeniable truth was that Peter was looking right at Mr. Stark’s daughter. She had an air of buoyancy and mirth in her step that screamed of the Tony Stark he had known. She was going to see her father. He could tell. The suppressed eagerness was radiating off her. She was going to see her father and she didn’t know… she didn’t know yet, that it would be the last time.

“Pete, come on…”

Only as Rhodes put his hands on him did Peter regain some form of feeling in his bones. His arms were shaking. His legs were like jello. He tore his eyes away from the hallway, from Mr. Stark’s family, and took a couple of steps back. They were alone. Just him and Rhodes. So this was it. His legs buckled and he didn’t hold back his tears any longer. Rhodes reached for his arm to catch him before he could hit the floor, but Peter jerked away. He balled himself up against the wall of the room, droped his face into his hands and wept. Weeping was all that was left for him to do now, all he could do.

He wept for Mr. Stark. For his family. For the life he should have had with them. And he wept for himself. He didn’t know how he would ever be able to cope with this. How would he ever be able to live with that? Mr. Stark had risked it all for him. And lost.

#Spiderson #Endgame #Fixit #spider son #irondad #mcu #marvel #fanfic #iron dad and spider son #peter parker #LYKHIW timeline

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dicloniusgames · 4 years

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Trophy Reviews: Detroit Become Human

Imagine a futuristic world where the possibility of androids could free themselves from their human masters and decide for themselves. The world of Detroit Become Human questions this and a lot more.

Detroit Become Human places you in the shoes of three characters, Connor, Kara, and Markus. Connor is an officer tasked with assisting his partner Hank who wants nothing to do with him on the cases of android deaths rampant throughout the city. Kara is a working android owned by an abusive alcoholic and looks to do anything to break free and save his daughter Alice from his abuse. Markus serves a dying patient and is pretty much the standard working android until he comes across other androids that question his existence but also purpose.

The game is David Cage’s standard fare of games like Heavy Rain and Beyond Two Souls where playing it once only gets you a piece of the story and multiple paths and choices yield different results. The trophies are also the same Quantic Dream fare where multiple playthroughs are required for the platinum as different choices branch off into different paths.

Easiest Trophy/Trophies: “Defend Yourself” (Markus Pushed Leo)/”Self-Control” (Markus Let Leo Win)

About a third/two-fifths into the game as Markus, you’ll get into a confrontation with Carl’s son Leo. Leo crashes his fathers house to get money from his father and Markus disapproves of Leo’s treatment of his father. This is one of Markus’ major choices in the game though no matter your choice, it causes a small ripple effect later on in the game but the same thing right after the choice you make happens. The trophy “Defend Yourself” is for fighting back against Leo’s abuse but gets Leo killed while “Self-Control” allows Leo to fight Markus without any resistance from Markus thus resulting in Carl’s death. The same result either way happens as Markus finds himself in an android junkyard the next time the player controls him.

Hardest Trophies: “I’ll Be Back” (Connor Died & Returned At Every Opportunity Before Reaching The End), “Escape The Manor” (Kara & Alice Escaped Zlatko’s House), “Survivors” (Everyone Is Alive At The End)

Probably the toughest trophy in the game and most time-consuming trophy in my opinion, “I’ll Be Back” requires you to kill Connor at every opportunity in the story only to see him come back as a new version. When you do this, he’ll lose previous memories of the previous version. The hardest and most trivial part of this trophy is getting Hank to kill Connor. You’ve got to go out of your way to piss Hank off enough to get him to kill you in a chapter called The Bridge. In one of the final opportunities, you’re able to go to the main facility where Connor was created and confront another Connor with Hank watching. Hank will kill you if you didn’t look at the photo of his son in his house in a previous chapter when you helped him recover from a hangover which I found to be another tedious out of the way challenge.

Next is the trophy “Escape The Manor” which you’ve got to escape Zlatko’s manor alive with Zlatko’s android in tow. Sometime after escaping Alice’s father and finding a place to stay afterwards, and in some cases escaping Connor, Kara and Alice come across someone named Zlatko. Zlatko claims he can help the androids and free them when all he does is reset them and trap them in his basement as slaves. Once Zlatko traps you in a machine and threatens to erase the memories the player has built with Alice, you’ve got a limited amount of time to escape his contraption. For a first-time player, this can be heavily confusing on what to do, as you’ve got to interact with objects around you in a certain order to malfunction the machine thus stopping the procedure. Once you’re able to, there’s multiple ways to secure your escape. You can release the trapped androids in the basement as insurance, you’re able to create a torch to set Zlatko’s house on fire once you escape once you find Alice and play keep away with Zlatko’s android named Luthor. This is a hard trophy to acquire for a first- time player because the game doesn’t give you any hint of how to escape so you’ve got to experiment until you’ve done things in the right order.

Finally, “Survivors” requires you to finish the game with every character alive. This is probably the toughest trophy to acquire as any character can die at any time and death is permanent in Detroit Become Human, especially during the Jericho riots against the police towards the end of the game. Another character difficult to keep alive is Kara as she can die at multiple parts of the game including Zlatko’s mansion and if you found the branching storyline to get captured and brought to the android garbage chute. The overlooked way to get killed is on your way to Canada. While at the bus stop, you’ve got a choice to make, either leave the tickets for the couple you run into and you’re left there without a way out, or steal the tickets for yourselves thus leaving the couple off the bus. Once at the border station, you’ve got to select someone to sacrifice themselves so you make it across the border with Luthor. The major twist in her storyline is that Alice is also an android. Kara, Alice, Luthor, Markus, Connor, Hank, Simon, North, Josh, and Jerry all have to stay alive throughout the course of the game to get this trophy and it’s extremely tough as I’ve stated above that anyone can die at any time, including Jericho residents Simon, North, and Josh.

There’s also that pesky collection trophy that requires you to get every magazine in the game, but that’s more of a small annoyance and not difficult.

Trophy Images: I’m gonna put it as simple as I can...the trophy images kinda suck. Such for the David Cage fare too, the trophy images for Detroit Become Human aren’t all too good just like Beyond Two Souls and Heavy Rain.

Overall, Detroit Become Human’s trophies are pretty much “missable” but also not missable. What I mean is that on a first playthrough, unless you know where to back up your save to get the platinum on one run, you’ll be playing this multiple times to get every trophy. I was somewhat shocked at how many bronzes there were as some of them could’ve been silver or gold. The trophy to kill Connor at every opportunity should’ve been a gold while at least one of the gold trophies could’ve been a silver at best and more realistically a bronze (I.E. the “These Are Our Stories” trophy for spending 20,000 bonus points in the extras menu as that comes naturally through progression). While full completion requires at least 2-3 or sometimes 4 complete playthroughs, what the game brings to the table makes up for what it lacks in trophy organization, description, and design.

Platinum Difficulty: 2.75/5 (Mostly because of how many playthroughs it takes)

Verdict: Medium difficulty, but not overly difficult

The next trophy review is a three-way choice between: Marvel’s Spider-Man, Mafia 3 and Vampyr so cast your vote on my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/dicloniusgames/

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