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bruttal-scars · 7 months
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I need him so I can scream my thoughts on his face silently and want him to take them and pour them into his heart and his mind, I want him to swirl and sniff my every emotion, I want my pain to run deep in his veins. I want him to know what my heart wants, I want him to know what goes there in my mind, I want him to know how strong his hold is over me, I want him to see me, I want him to see this bizarre artifact of my heart I've created inside me.
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elocasoentusojos · 1 year
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Shirt
Lend me your shirt
So I can protect who I am
So they don´t see what I´m hiding
So I don’t run home crying
Lend me your shirt
So I can be lowkey
So they don’t mock me
So I’m not ashamed of my body
Lend me your shirt
Hide all my rough spots
Put that liquor on ice
Make me forget for one night
Lend me your shirt
Cause what’s under mine doesn’t seem to be ok
Doesn’t look right to their eyes
Doesn’t appeal to what’s between their tights
Lend me your shirt
Cover me on it
So the wind doesn’t fit it
To what’s apparently unworthy
Lend me your shirt
Cause I look like a monster
Or that’s why they told me
Camouflage what I’ve heard is disgusting
Lend me your shirt
So when I look in the mirror
I can finally love what I see
For seemingly everyone´s better than me
Lend me your shirt
Put mine on your shelf
Feels like I find beauty in everything I see
Except for myself
Lend me your shirt
Make me sleep better
Cause I’ve been so down lately
I might conceal it forever
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chatxkilluaxnoir · 2 years
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There is No Turning Back Anymore, Prologue Pt. 1. Ch1/15:
Ch1/15 if you count the prologues, which I am, because it makes it easier to cross-post this on different sites.  Mainly here and on AO3.
*Claps*  Anyways!  This was the fic I talked about in my post/reblog here talking about my new ko-fi announcement and of course, the ko-fi announcement itself!
It is another Gravity Falls transcendence AU fic (since both GF and TAU have my heart), and it is completed too! (for the most part).
So I will be posting a new chapter every week or 2, give or take.  Though, by now the first two chapters, Prologue Part 1 and 2 will be posted on AO3 already, and I will be posting this prologue chapter as well as a Part 2 soon here too.  And I might post the “official” Ch1, i.e., the first chapter after the prologue and technically Ch3 on AO3 before a week, but we will have to see there.
I have more to say, but I already said that on AO3, so I won’t repeat that stuff again.  If you want to see everything I have to say (and probably get this fic earlier, since I will be most likely posting this fic first on AO3 before here. Probably) then I do so on this fic on AO3.  Or maybe you just want to read this fic on AO3, if so, it is already posted of course.  ;)
Alright, now to the actual fic itself.
----------Fic Summary----------
A Girl of striking red hair and her Saviour of Shadow met in a Forest of Death.
These two then wouldn't meet again for many years later.
(though not for a lacking of trying by one of them)
And when they did finally meet again; a deal, a bet would be made between them.
Perhaps it was a deal better not made.
----------
Well.
Too little, too late...
Prologue Pt. 1: There Once Lived a Girl…Chapter Summary:
...Who was left to die.
Only to be saved by someone from where she had been dragged to, to die.
Who was so traumatized she didn't even remember her own name.
(Or maybe she just no longer wanted that name anymore).
Oh poor, oh poor nameless girl.
She will be getting a new name soon.
So that is least some good news for her.
.....
"Not that much of a consolation, you say?"
"That is just your opinion, really."
The chapter itself will be under the cut.  Enjoy!
There once lived a girl whose parents she both loved and were terrified of.
There once lived a girl who saw things she probably should have never seen.
There once lived a girl who had tried to get help, but no one ever believed her.  Her family seemed “perfect” after all.
There once lived a girl who wished her family was actually perfect and that she wasn’t so scared of the parents she loved.
There once lived a girl who had finally “crossed” one too many lines for her parents and so they decided to make her vanish.
There once lived a girl who was abandoned by her parents all alone in a forest of horrors; left to die or maybe even worse.
There once lived a girl who was saved from that dark, lonely, horrifying forest from a being of nightmares that most would wish they would never meet.  But to the girl, the shadow-y being was her knight in shining armour who had saved her.  
And there once lived a girl who showed up at a police station mysteriously all alone, covered in a bright red hoodie coat, covered in mud and dirt and branches and no shoes, but strangely not even a scratch on her. 
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They asked her for her name, but she just responded with silence.  When asked where her parents were and why she was there.  The only things she would say was that her parents left her all alone in a forest and that she was rescued by a being of darkness and shadows.  That being was her Knight, her hero.  
At this, the police were left both saddened by her explanation and also confused; thinking that maybe she had conjured up hallucinations in her fear or even due to hyperthermia.  They didn’t doubt she was probably rescued from the forest after being sadly left there by her parents, but they did doubt who rescued her.  Since from her description of it, it sounded more like something that would gobble up children instead of saving them.  It was probably just her mind and darkness playing tricks on her.
The girl, when told gently this, would protest vehemently about what she saw.  Saying she knew what she saw and she wasn’t lying!  They didn’t say she was lying, but to her, it felt like they were.  She would keep saying how she was rescued and by whom, even if her memories were kind of murky and cloudy and she couldn’t remember everything, what she did remember she told.  And she never once changed her story.  In the end, her rescuer was put as Unknown in the report.  
The police also tried to look into her parents, since the girl, when they were able to get her to talk more, told them her parents weren’t always really the best and that they scared her and she tried to get help, but no one believed her, because their family appeared so “perfect” from the outside, and that, she had done something that finally made her parents mad enough that they didn’t want to keep her around anymore.  That her parents and some other people, some she recognized and some she didn’t, had gagged her, blindfolded her, tied her up tightly and roughly and threw her in the back of some kind of moving vehicle.  She didn’t know what exactly though, because she couldn’t see.  That she had laid in the dark and cold of that vehicle for a very long time.  Roads turned from smooth to rough, to finally, the vehicle stopped, and she was dragged out of the car, and where she had tried to fight back, but couldn’t do so very well, and as such only got a punch to the gut and a smack in the face for her trouble.
This part and some other parts of the story would baffle the people hearing the story, because some of the stuff she said happened, should have left wounds or at least markings, but there hadn’t been a scratch on her.  When asked about that, all she would say is that her Knight took care of those for her.  The police started to think more and more that some parts of her story was her mind trying to protect her from the trauma she went through, which actually happened.  Because while some things certainly happened, some other things felt a lot more outlandish, and for lack of a kinder word, “made up”.  
These thoughts though, weren’t voiced outloud, but if you were paying enough attention, you could see it in their faces or in their voices, and the girl, oh how did she see and hear it.  How she hated people thinking she was a liar!!  The police asked the girl to continue the story, and they thought for a second she would clam up again and decide not to speak for awhile, because she had gone quiet.  And the girl toyed with that idea, to just stop answering their questions, and the girl almost did, if at least, out of spite.
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 …But after a beat.  2 beats.  3.  4.  She finally continued.
And said, after they hurt her like that for trying to fight back, that they had dragged her by her arms and hair for awhile, she couldn’t tell how long, but it certainly felt like at least minutes.  After they had dragged her for some good time, they just.  
…Stopped.
 … 
Stopped and dropped her and then just walked away without saying a word without untying her, or taking off her gag or blindoff or anything!  They had just dumped her in the middle or who knows where, in a state where fending for herself and surviving would be very hard and just left!  Her own parents, even other people she had known had just left her for dead, and, and…And at this moment, she stopped, she couldn’t bear to continue the story, and the police didn’t think they should force her.  
They said they would get the rest from her later, but in the end, they never did.  At least, she would never tell the rest of the story to the cops, that is.  When the cops realized they never were going to get rest, or maybe they thought the girl just couldn’t remember it or couldn’t speak the rest.  
They asked for her name once again, because she had never answered it when she was first asked.  And once again, she was silent, until she finally said that she didn’t remember her name.  They asked her again, saying it would be really hard to track down her parents and those other people and bring them to justice if they didn’t have a name.  And at this, the girl just put her hands to head and it shook violently.  Yelling that she didn't remember her name, or her parents or anyone!  That she was really trying to remember, but it felt like there was a gaping black hole in her head whenever she tried to remember that only threatened to engulf her more she thought about it, and that, it hurt so much to think about it.  And.  And.  A n d dd ddd….. anddd…  I–I…  ….they..
The police finally stopped asking about it, because the child was in clear distress.  And every time after they asked her again about this, they would get a similar, to the same response.  So, due to her not having a name, the Police of that station decided they should come up with one, thinking it must be terrible to not have a name.  And they ended up spit-balling what her name should be for months.  None of the officers there had been the best at names.
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Yes.  The girl did end up spending months living in that town.  Living with multiple different policemen and women.
Usually, she would have been taken where kids like her usually are taken to, when something like this happens.  But due to  just how unusual her story and the state of her was, and just how small and in the middle of nowhere in a pretty small community, this police station was, they decided to just house her, with them, until further notice.  
After months and months (about 8 or so months) of this going on, and being bounced between policed offers, and being asked questions about what happened, they decided they couldn’t really get any more information than they already had from her and that no one around there could take her, and so decided it was time she left for foster care.
They unfortunately couldn’t find more permanent housing for her, though they had tried, part of the reason why she stayed in that town for so long, and that was all they could really do in the end.  On her papers they gave to the adoption centers and her Foster Care Home, the police officers of the Dayton Police Precinct (Precinct, because they were the main, and only station of the very small town of Dayton, Arizona) that the girl had found herself in, the name they had come up with about 1 month after she was found, having been called usually child, girl, the girl, Miss, kid, kiddo, or Red until she got her official name; “Scarlet Hood” was put.  
She was named thus, after the striking red hoodie she was found wearing, and her stunning long, past her butt, wavy scarlet hair that she had.  Like what was said, the cops there weren’t the most creative with names, but hey, at least this one was quite pretty and striking, just like the young girl was.  
Though..
…In the future, her name and her hoodie and her hair, wouldn’t be the only reds and fiery colors she would come to be associated with.  
-—It was almost like her name had been a prophecy for the years yet to come.----
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animentality · 3 months
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ad-wills · 1 month
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writing-prompt-s · 1 month
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They say you die three times, first when the body dies, second, when your body enters the grave, and third, when your name is spoken for the last time. You were a normal person in life, but hundreds of years later, you still haven't had your "third" death. You decide to find out why.
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thesefallenembers · 6 months
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the problem with reading and writing leading to a strong vocabulary is that you tend to know the vibe of words instead of their meanings.
if I used this word in a sentence, would it make sense? absolutely. if you asked me what it meant, could I tell you? absolutely not.
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sourdough-seal · 6 months
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“how did you get into writing” girl nobody gets into writing. writing shows up one day at your door and gets into you
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the-overanalyst · 6 months
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it's always so fascinating and heartbreaking when a character in a story is simultaneously idolized and abused. a chosen prophet destined for martyrdom. a child prodigy forced to grow up too fast. a powerful warrior raised as nothing but a weapon. there's just something so uniquely messed up about singing someone's praises whilst destroying them.
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sylvies-kablooie · 3 months
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i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.
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bethanythebogwitch · 1 month
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Some writers: *meticulously plan out every plot point and the tone and meanings before they start writing*
Me:
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oatmilk-vampire · 3 months
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Always the writer, never the reader.
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charliejaneanders · 4 months
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Random writing thought: the best stories are often the ones that only you could have written — but also the ones that you could only write at this one moment.
I couldn't write All the Birds in the Sky from scratch now if I tried. But the me of 2013 couldn't have written The Prodigal Mother either.
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This is a friendly reminder to never, ever publish your book with a publishing company that charges you to publish with them. That is a vanity press, which makes money by preying on authors. They charge you for editing, formatting, cover art, and more. With most of these companies, you will never seen a cent of any royalties made from sale of your book. A legitimate publishing company only makes money when you make money, they will never charge you to publish with them. If a company approaches you and says "Hey, we'll publish your book, just pay us X amount of money," tell them to go fuck themself and block them.
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animentality · 4 months
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kicking a hornets nest.
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ad-wills · 4 months
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