ahomeformystories

[ahomeformystories]

Dark Days

I don’t remember what exactly made me write this only that I needed to capture what I was feeling in that moment. 

After re-reading it, I find that it’s pretty accurate. I can still remember myself on the floor going through this. 

Itachi (yes, Uchiha Itachi) from Naruto has been a character that has been with me for a while. It started out as a young crush but the character mostly comes to life in my mind when I need someone to give me comfort. Or to fill the gap of that person who would. 

~ ~ ~

Deep breaths, I told myself.

In.

And.

Out.

Each breath brought with it a new violent swell of emotion that caused my breaths to shake. That’s how turbulent all of the feelings were tumbling inside of me. There was no heaviness in my chest but a hurricane was thrashing within me and needed to get out.

I knew the best way to get through this was through here. On the floor, in the dark. Heels of my hands sometimes pressing into my eyes. Or a hand placed in the middle of my chest so that it felt connected or grounded to something.

This is how Itachi found me. Feather light footsteps I probably only heard because I was already on the floor. The click of the doorknob turning.

I wanted to disappear. To curl up into a ball. To hide somewhere he wouldn’t have to see me this way. But this was the best and only place for me to be at this moment. And I did not want to feel ashamed for what I was feeling and what I needed to go through, so I cupped my hands over my eyes and continued to breathe deeply.

There was a pause in the doorway and I had already readied myself if he was going to turn on the light but instead I heard the door close and footsteps pad towards me.

I was so conflicted between wanting to disappear, pretend everything was alright or just being here and processing my emotions, no matter how turbulent they were making my feel. I went back to deeply breathing in and out.

In my next in breath, a hand was placed on my sternum with the lightest of pressure being applied to the surface. My exhale was closer to a sob. The pressure was steady and followed me with each rise and fall of my chest. . . . . . . . . Then another hand was placed on the top of my head and began to smoothen the hair there. I turned to curl into myself.

The hand on my sternum moved to rub my shoulder and that it where we stayed. Each breath was almost like a heave, reaching far and deep inwards and exhaling what appeared to be an

e

n

d

l

e

s

s

chasm 

of 

emotion.

In time, my breath slowed. My hands rested against my neck when they were not gently catching or wiping away the tears that fell. All this time, Itachi’s hands were finding different ways to gently soothe me.

I tried to breathe in through my nose and was met with blockage so I gently pushed myself up to get a tissue.

Without me even asking, it was handed to me in the dark.

I took it with a whispered thank you and blew out as much as I could. My tears luckily could still be caught and then wiped on my shirt. When I finished, I placed it on my bedside table with the rest of my used tissue and turned to meet Itachi.

I found his face in the darkness, the planes and angles of it all. I didn’t know what to say. Thank you for being one of the the only few things that can ground me in this moment. Thank you again, for helping me get through this.

I could only let out another sigh before turning my gaze to the floor. Hands moved to cup my face. I closed my eyes and leaned into the touch. Fingers moved to massage different points around my skull and temples while I pliantly moved my head in whatever direction it needed to go. Fingers wove themselves into my hair to be able to reach all of it.   I felt tingles move through my entire body at the release.

He also caught any stray tears that escaped.

Finally, a hand rested against my chest once more, applying just enough pressure and he gently touched his forehead to mine. Just breathe, he was telling me.

And so I did. The lightest breath I was finally able to take.

xx

#uchiha itachi #anxiety #feelings #part journal #comfort #more journal entry than fic

[ahomeformystories]

People question me when I stand under the sun.

They will question me when I say I want to stand under the rain.

Can't they understand that all I want to do is feel?

[ahomeformystories]

#nikita gill #dark days #poetry #calligraphy

[ahomeformystories]

Just A Bit Of Fun

Sort of Bucky x Reader (more fluff than anything else really) First Person POV One-Shot

After watching ep. 3 of The Falcon and The Winter Soldier, I *knew* a fic was coming along but I needed to let it sit for a while. And here it is!

You’re with Sam and Bucky on this whole mission. You just got out of Low Town and are back in Sharon’s place in High-Town. The reader tries to have a bit of fun but it’s really fluff with Bucky towards the end. You can decide if you’d want it to stay platonic or if would be a set-up for something more. 

Enjoy! 

Word Count: ~1.4k

~ ~ ~

We all convened in the second floor of Sharon’s gallery which was thankfully silent and in much better taste than the district we came from. Sharon had already given me permission to choose clothes from a specific area of her closet but I stood in the living room waiting to see when Sam would be finished choosing his outfit. I wanted to check out the men’s wear rack for myself.

Bucky had already changed and was sitting in the couch by himself, staring off into space a bit. When my eyes trailed over him, I actually appreciated the black jacket he chose. Zemo was sitting in a chair, already enjoying a stiff drink. Their banter was funny to watch, even if we were in such a serious predicament and were actually about to be killed just a few minutes ago but everything in this moment still brought a smile to my face.

When Sam finally chose and put on a shirt, I internally let out a hallelujah and made a beeline for the clothes rack.

“Lay low. Take some time. Enjoy the party and stay out of trouble” Sharon said before disappearing out of the room. I could have laughed when I heard Zemo say “Trouble” but choose to smile to myself instead. There were a few really nice jackets, dress shirts and even a sparkling number that I choose to ignore but my eyes lit up when I found what I was looking for. I pulled out a black long sleeve shirt that seemed just to be about the fit I wanted. It needed a few changes but that could easily be done.

“Why aren’t you dressed yet?” I heard Sam ask from behind me. I turned to find him near the hard liquor, already fixing himself a drink.  God, don’t these people drink water? “Sharon already showed me what I could get from her closet but they aren’t things I would wear for myself in the field tomorrow. Hence, this” I made the hanger do a little dance before walking up to Bucky. “May I borrow a knife?” He looked up at me from the couch and felt the atmosphere must have been light enough to joke. “What makes you think I carry around knives?” I made a face as if it to say /Please. Who are you even kidding/ “Everyone knows it was…is…kind of your thing. So…” I tilted my head to try again. I also tried not to add that you walked into Madripoor in FULL Winter Solider gear so we all knew you’d maybe have at least 3 knives on you. He let out a sigh and pulled out a knife that was strapped to his thigh “Fine. But return it when you’re done” I smiled in thanks. “Of course” and made my way into an adjacent room.

Alone in Sharon’s room, I made quick work on the shirt -- shortening the sleeves, widening the collar and even tapering off some length. Now it was time for the party outfit. My fingers travelled over silky numbers, low-cut necklines, almost backless numbers and sparkly things. I would have loved to play dress-up but we were still in a place where anyone could pounce on us at any moment AND we had a bounty on our heads. Playing dress-up would have to wait. So I choose something practical but still a bit fun because ideally, no one would come shooting at us tonight.

A black somewhat sheer top with mid-length sleeves that sparkled just enough when the light caught. It was sheer enough that you could see the black bandeau and razor-back straps underneath and it fit in all the right places if I may so myself. I even decided to wash my hair a bit and borrow some of Sharon’s make-up. A quick glance in the mirror was able to make me smile.

Even for a while, we could have fun.

I stepped out of the room because I felt the boys were already getting impatient to go downstairs. Sam stopped mid-drink and I felt even Zemo’s gaze trail my movements. “Thank you for lending me your knife, Bucky” I held out the handle towards him. And something other than sorrow, despair and fatigue briefly flickered across his eyes. “You know we aren’t just here to have fun, right?” Sam said but I could feel the smile in his voice. I shrugged. “Trust me, this was one of the more practical options that fit me. Besides, I don’t think any of us have any plans to go wild tonight.” Bucky stood then so that I could look up at him when he said “Just a little bit of fun then” with the smallest of smiles.

~ ~ ~

We knew none of us could really let our guards down but the music was pulsing, people were dancing and the atmosphere was electric. Hell, even Zemo was having some fun on the dance floor! Sam was busy talking to a few of the potential art buyers and Bucky was leaning against a long bar table by himself so I slid up to him for some conversation.

“If I asked you to dance, would you join me on the dance floor?” He almost choked on his drink and I let out a laugh to give him a chance to recover. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Besides, this isn’t really my style” He said after a few coughs. “Fair fair. Still working on the easing back into society bit?” I let my arm brush up against his. “You could say that, yea. It’s not going very well though” I think we both could tell that we were on a not-so-nice topic so Bucky choose to swerve instead and asked “Drink?” To which I earnestly shook my head. “I don’t drink a lot. And not all of us have super soldier serum that burns through the alcohol in my veins. So I’m good”

We fell into a companionable silence then as I let my head bob to the beat a bit. “Do you enjoy this type of scene…party…place, often?” His gaze took in the bodies that appeared to be pressed so closely together, the loud music  and dim lights. “Well…” I followed his gaze up until where the artwork was being displayed before looking back at him. “It’s better than the last bar we came from in Low-Town. But on a personal note, only occasionally. It’s not my usual scene but I don’t mind turning up every now and then.” “What makes you turn up then?” He asked, genuinely curious. “Good company” I said with a smile. “And it’s nice sometimes, to dance and kind of let go in the dark”

When I felt it was safe enough I said “You should put that on your list, after all of this. If we survive, I mean” “What?” “A night out with friends”

I paused to let that sink in for a moment. I couldn’t tell if Bucky was more stunned by the prospect of surviving this or having friends so I added lightly “It doesn’t have to be like this though. It can be other things too, whatever a 106-year-old man is up to” I nudged his shoulder a bit to lighten the mood.

Realization must have dawned unto him then that I was serious, about being friends. “Yea, that…that wouldn’t be so bad” and in that moment I saw a glimpse of a young Bucky in the 40s, enjoying a night on the town before going to war flash across his face. So I decided to do one more thing.

“I know you won’t forget but you have to promise. Even if you don’t write it down on that notebook of yours” I held out my right pinky.

He looked at me as if I just handed him the super-soldier serum we were looking for.

“You have to pinky promise. Do you know what those are?” “Uh. Uhh..yea” and he had no choice because I was on his right to extend his left arm towards me and seal the pinky promise with his vibranium hand. “Good” Feeling that at least the night was going well, I would try to enjoy it a bit more.

“If I leave you for a bit, will you be okay?” I asked. “I’m a hundred and six” Bucky said matter of factly but at least the smile reached his eyes this time. “Good” I patted his arm as I pushed off the table. “Where are you going?” And I gave him the largest smile I probably had in this entire trip “To dance”

xx

#tfaws #tfaws imagine #bucky x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky fluff #bucky barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky fic #tfaws spoilers

[ahomeformystories]

“Let’s dance” (Loki x reader)

Prompt from oitommothetease: Hii I was wondering could you do a one shot about drunk loki?

A/N: I very much enjoyed writing drunk Loki, so thank you for this ask:) I hope you enjoy it, lmk if there are any spelling errors or anything I didn’t proof read beacuse it’s 3am yet again oops-

Word count: 1.4k

…

Tony’s parties are the best. You’ve attended quite a few now, and there hasn’t been one yet that you haven’t enjoyed.

Tonight, however, you’re not feeling up to the raging party that is bound to go on until the early hours of the morning. You’re tired and aching from a week of training and you want nothing more than to just have a nice warm bath and an early night.

You are fully aware that that’s a pipedream.

When you finish training with Nat, instead of relaxing into your oversized bath tub like you so desperately want to, you find yourself having a quick shower and are then faced with the prospect of pulling a dress on and doing your hair and make-up.

This is made slightly more bearable by Nat’s arrival. You deliberate over dresses with her for a while (you don’t have the same problem: your chosen dress is black and simple) and then do each other’s hair and quickly put some make up on. Then you pull your heels on and head to the kitchen, telling Nat you’ll meet her down there.

“You’re late.” Tony reprimands you as you enter the kitchen.

“You’re not even ready.” you scoff, darting past him to get to the fridge.

“Not the point.” Tony scowls, leaving the room to presumably go and get ready. You can already hear the music thudding from downstairs, and can practically feel the headache it’s going to give you even now.

As you’re rifling through the fridge looking for something to eat you feel a pair of cool hands on your waist, and you spin around you look up at Loki.

“You look beautiful.” he tells you with a small smile.

“Thank you. You don’t look too bad yourself.” you tell him, returning his smile as you reach up to straighten the collar of his shirt.

“It’s just a shirt.” he says, looking over your head to see what’s in the fridge.

“It’s a nice shirt.” you say appreciatively, before also turning back to the fridge.

“Come on you two, it’s started already.” Nat’s voice beckons you from the corridor.

“Coming.” you call, before shutting the fridge in resignation.

“You’re tired.” Loki observes, and you smile wearily at him.

“I’m fine. Just not overly in the mood for a party.” you tell him. He pulls you towards him and you rest your head on his chest, sighing heavily as he puts his arms around you.

“Shall we escape at the earliest possible opportunity?”

You pull back and smile up at him.

“Yes, please.”

Two hours later.

You’re sat at the bar alone, the same drink in your hand that has been there for an hour and a half. No one has yet noticed your unenthusiasm for the evening, not even Tony. Everyone is too busy dancing and having fun.

You’re not a total killjoy; you had danced with everyone for a while earlier on and done some shots, but it’s been almost two hours now and you’re still thinking about having a bath.

You could leave. But where is Loki? You haven’t seen him in a while… surely he hasn’t abandoned you down here. So much for escaping at the earliest possible opportunity.

“Y/N- Y/N! Come onnn!” Tony is shouting over the music and waving at you from the dance floor. You do your utmost to ignore him, but then he comes over to accost you and drag you back into the crowd of dancing people.

Maybe one or two more dances, and then you’ll be free to go. You must find Loki first though.

An hour later.

You’ve danced a lot, and had enough drinks to make you pleasantly tipsy, rather than drunk. Which is more than can be said for most of your friends. Bucky and Nat are having an arm wrestling match on a barstool, Clint was last seen passed out behind a large plant pot and Tony can hardly stand up.

Loki is still nowhere to be seen. You decide to scout the room for him and leave the dance floor, scanning the place. It’s hard to see; there are so many people and the lights are flashing unhelpfully in your eyes.

Finally you spot him sat with Thor, and make a beeline for the two brothers. Thor spots you first and waves cheerfully. Loki follows his gaze, and when he sees you his whole face lights up with such a profound happiness that you almost stop in your tracks.

He’s expressing emotion in public. Something’s wrong.

It immediately becomes clear to you what the problem is as he stands up and sways dangerously, flinging out his hands for balance and almost knocking his drink over. Thor chuckles in amusement as Loki staggers towards you.

“Hi.” he says happily, catching hold of your shoulders.

“You’re drunk.” you say, holding on to his arms.

“Pfttt, no.” he scoffs, before enveloping you in a tight hug. You stare at Thor over Loki’s hunched shoulder, and he just laughs. It’s quite clear to see what’s gone on here.

Loki would have been far too proud to back down from any competition Thor challenged him to, but no one can outdrink Thor.

Loki whispers something to you, but the music is so loud you can’t hear him.

“What?” you ask, your voice slightly raised.

“I love you.” Loki shouts into your ear, almost deafening you.

“Christ.” you mutter, wincing as you push him back on to his bar stool.

“I suppose you think this is funny, do you?” you ask Thor appraisingly. He shrugs, smirking. It’s obvious that he’s quite drunk too.

“It is not my fault that my brother is a lightweight-.”

“I am not a lightweight.” Loki protests, almost knocking his drink over yet again.

“Loki,” you say in despair, moving his drink away from him. “I think it’s time for bed.”

“Nooo.” he says, throwing his head back and closing his eyes. A smile starts to creep its way on to your face, and Thor gives you an ‘I told you so’ look.

“Yes, come on. I’m tired. I need you to help me.” you tell him, suddenly struck by a stroke of genius.

“Okay. Okay.” Loki replies, suddenly wide awake and very eager to help, so eager that he almost falls over on his way off of the bar stool. Thor chuckles again, sighing happily.

“Enjoy this.” you tell him, shooting him a look.

“Oh, I am.” he tells you, wiping a happy tear from the corner of his eye. Loki takes your arm and then charts a very unsteady course straight through the middle of the dance floor. It’s futile trying to point him in the right direction.

“Let’s dance.” he announces suddenly, dropping your arm and starting to throw some questionable moves. You can’t hold it together this time, and burst out laughing.

“Loki, stop it.” you laugh, trying to catch hold of his arm.

“Yeah! Reindeer Games!” Tony shouts, joining you on the dance floor. You can hardly breathe for laughing, tears obscuring your vision. Nat and Bucky are there now too; you have to get Loki upstairs.

He’s going to kill Thor tomorrow.

Finally you manage to persuade Loki off of the dance floor and across the room into the lift.

“I was having fun.” he tells you sadly.

“I know.” you say sympathetically, fighting not to laugh at him anymore. He thankfully pulls you towards him for a hug, allowing you to hide your smiles in his shoulder.

You manage to get him down the hallway to his room and he collapses on the bed almost immediately.

“I hate Thor.” he mutters angrily into his pillows. You bite back a laugh as you dim the lights.

“No you don’t.” you say to him, sitting down on the bed next to him.

“No, I don’t. I love him. But he is annoying.”

You don’t reply, smiling widely. It’s the first time you’ve heard him say that he loves his brother.

“Don’t tell him I said that.” he says, turning over so that he’s facing the ceiling.

“I won’t.” you assure him, moving your hand to his hair; running your fingers through it gently. Loki closes his eyes and hums in appreciation, and you smile once more.

You sit like that for a while, in silence. Loki breaks it first.

“Sorry for embarrassing you.” he says, keeping his eyes shut.

“You didn’t.” you tell him, and he frowns slightly.

“Okay. Good.” is his only response. A few minutes later he’s snoring gently.

You gingerly remove your hand from his head; he doesn’t stir, so you stand up and quietly sneak out of the room, turning the light completely off and closing the door.

Time for that bath.

…

Please reblog if you enjoyed<3

[ahomeformystories]

Step Into Dreaming

A little something I put together while re-reading The Sandman series during quarantine a while back. 

It’s my imagined meeting of encountering The Dream King

Approximately 600 words

- - -

The room I walked into was empty, save for a lone chair. It was large, made of wood with a slightly reclined back and wide seat space. There was also someone already occupying the chair. As I further stepped into the room, I stayed close to the walls and tried to make it seem like I was looking around the room when in fact, I was simply trying very hard not to stare at the occupant of the chair too pointedly. In my wonder and confusion, I almost forgot my manners.

I wasn’t sure of what to do given that curtsies and kneeling were long out of fashion so I made an attempt at an awkward bow with an even more awkward greeting. “Hello, Dream King”

I could not look into his eyes for too long because I did not know if I was looking straight into shadows, the night sky or simply into unfathomable depths. He appeared lost in thought with his chin propped up lightly against slender pale fingers, but after greeting him he turned his head towards me and gave a small nod in acknowledgement.

Not knowing what to do with myself but feeling more disoriented by the second, I began to crouch down to make myself more comfortable on the floor.

“You are tired” I suddenly heard him say.

Did his voice echo through the room or was it in my head? I couldn’t tell.

I stopped mid-crouch and only nodded in reply. Indeed, the heaviness under my eyes had become more prominent and a feeling of bone deep tiredness had settled into my being.

“Are you going to sleep?” The Dream King asked and I thought I saw something in those depths almost twinkle.

“I was going to try. Or close my eyes and try to rest, at least” I leaned back against the wall not wanting to be rude but at the same time already feeling like I was about to collapse.

The Dream King regarded me then, turned his full attention and Endless gaze towards me and there was nothing between us to distract him from my confusion, awkwardness and fatigue. I pressed myself further against the wall, just wanting to disappear.

After another beat of silence he finally said “Come Then”

I did not move because I did not understand.

“Come into Dreams and let them envelop you”

Did he actually mean?…

I could only watch as he extended a hand towards me. An invitation to rest in the King of of Dreams himself.

It took me a moment and maybe I should have felt fear, felt doubt but I could only feel my heavy heart and the emptiness that I wanted to silence.

I stepped forward and took his hand.

I did not understand if he or the chair got bigger or if I had stepped into a vastness my mind could not comprehend but as I maneuvered myself onto his lap, I found I fit perfectly.

This close, I could only focus on pale skin and midnight blue hair. I still wasn’t sure if I was ready to look into his eyes.

“Will I wake up?” I had to ask as I made myself comfortable.

“Almost all dreams come to an end”

I leaned against something solid — a shoulder? the back of the chair? I couldn’t tell.

“Will I remember?” I let myself curl lightly into a ball.

A small smile.

“A part of you will”

And the last thing that I knew was a shawl that looked and felt like the night sky was pulled over my shoulders before I finally closed my eyes and fell asleep.

xx

#the sandman #the endless #morpheus #dream #dream of the endless

[ahomeformystories]

Karura and Sasori traverse the Western Wastes in search of adventure, paint pigments, and perhaps some love along the way. But– Karura has a feeling that– something is missing. Something important.

Written for @multisasori: Canon Divergent AU (though it may also be a “Happy” Ending) but originally written for a @naruto-multishippers-anonymous prompts-and-challenges.

Pairing: Sasori & Karura

Warnings!: It’s both a shippy fic and a dark fic. It’s both sweet and might leave some people with an uneasy feeling. Dub-con feelings if you squint. More specifics tend to spoil the twist. tw: Dead Dove: Do not eat

Excerpt:

Karura woke up to the summer sunrise– with its golden glow bleeding into pinks, and blues, and violets. The heat of the desert sand seeped in through the black cloak where they slept for the evening. Still, an arm around her waist brought her closer to a familiar heat. She could feel his breath tickling her neck.

Despite Sasori’s grumbled protests, Karura sat up to make breakfast.

She was thinking just eggs today. They would have to make a trip to town for more supplies, though. And water– they were low on that too. But when Karura opened the carapace of Sasori’s puppet (1), she found a whole pantry waiting for her.

“Did you go shopping without me?” She asked aloud, taking the eggs and maybe some dried meat. They didn’t camp out beside a rock formation this time– so they had to keep moving. “Sasori,” she knelt beside Mr. Five-more-minutes.

Sasori wrapped the black cloak around himself, shielding him from the 7 am sun.

“Sasori, where were we going again?”

Silence followed.

Karura thought to ask him later instead, when the cloak had gathered enough heat to pry him out of his cocoon. But Sasori poked his head out. “Didn’t you want to go adventuring?”

Karura thought about that for a moment.

“I suppose I did.” Then she smiled, and nodded towards the campfire, “Eggs will be ready in a minute.”

Read the rest at AO3

[ahomeformystories]

A Stolen Moment Pt. 2

Finally, a follow up to A Stolen Moment!

I’ve had this sitting in my notebook for a while and decided to type it up and post it.

Summary: Implied reader x Alucard. The reader shares what’s bothering them the night before they go to war. First person POV

Word count: ~950 words

Again any feedback or comments would be appreciated :) 

Link to Part 1

-- 

When the shadows receded, I found that we were now standing on the roof of the east wing one of the tallest parts of the house. Funny because from here, I could actually make out the room where we just had our meeting a few minutes ago. I turned to Alucard and found his red eyes focused on me. His gaze taking in every change in my expression and my every movement. I looked down and realized I was still holding onto him but decided to distance myself before saying what was truly bothering me.

"This war, I --" I started then stopped.  I took a deep breath and looked up at the moon. "I hate that millions of innocent people are going to die tomorrow and there's nothing we can do to stop it. I hate the destruction that will raze buildings and destroy so much of this." I made a sweeping gesture referencing to the estate, the garden and everything beyond. "Obviously, I've never actively participated in a war." I laughed at myself. "But I don't understand why you have to be the center of it. And I hate --" I took another shuddering breath.  "That he, they, whatever, are coming for you and I don't know how to make sure you survive." I finally turned to look at him then. I watched the unnatural way his hair flowed around his face, the way the wind pushed and pulled at the edges of his long cloak and then at the smile that began to form on his face. For what it was worth, I committed it all to memory.

"You do not live as long as I do without making enemies and the Major and I have business to settle." Alucard began. "As for the war, well -" he simply shrugged. "The bells of war have been ringing ever since the moment we learned of Millennium. Nothing will change what is to come. I have lived through over 500 years of war and conflict but the upcoming bloodshed still makes me tingle with excitement. I can almost taste the blood on my tongue." His smile turned into a wicked grin and Alucard licked his lips in delight and anticipation. This was one of the reasons I needed to step away and distance myself from the overflowing bloodlust that started to turn the moon red. "The loss of life is inevitable and as long as my orders are to Search and Destroy, then that is what I shall do."

That too, was something I could not change. 

"But you are more afraid for me than of the actual horrors you will face tomorrow." He finally seemed to take in what I was trying to say after getting some of the bloodlust out of his system. The moon also started to return to being white. 

~~ 

Seras found Integra making a few last minute calls for the meeting with the council tomorrow. Before Seras was able to speak, her gaze snagged upon 2 figures standing on the rooftop of the Hellsing estate. "Is that?..." Seras stepped towards the large window. Integra swiveled her chair to see what Seras was looking at. "It seems there is some business your master needs to sort out after all." Integra took a long drag from her cigarette. Seras couldn't help but blush at the mental picture that surfaced from her encounter with them earlier. "I never imagined Master would..." Seras let her sentence trail off. "Alucard is capable of many things. Love, apparently, is one of them" Integra swiveled her chair to face the desk once more. ~~

"Everything the Major has done so far -- the experiments, the records. He would not be getting into this war without having thought of a way to finally end this." I was fully facing him now, taking in this monster that stood before me, illuminated by the moonlight. I would not cry. No. But my instinct told me that tomorrow would not end well.

Alucard did not reply. Instead, he held out a gloved hand and said "Come here" I sighed, not sure of his intention or the point he was trying to prove but I stepped towards him anyway. I placed my hand in his and felt a gentle pull that led me straight into his arms. He spoke softly then. Our faces close. My hand resting on his coat.

"You know how many lives I've devoured. I will not fall so easily." "But I do not know if --" he silenced me with a finger to my lips. "If I fall tomorrow, it will be to a human for only a human can defeat a monster. Whatever happens, you will know where to find me." I would have laughed if I could have managed it. "Yes. I'll just follow where most of the shooting is aimed at and the river of blood." My fingers gently rested on the sides of his face, wanting to hold onto this for a moment longer. There was nothing I could do. I knew that and so the sigh I let out was one of defeat. There was nothing else to say, nothing else to do but face the war that was coming straight to our doorstep.

"Have you made peace with the future and the unknown?" Alucard asked. I nodded. "Good" I was pulled closer and the shadows began to close in on us once again. Instead of feeling the wind pushing behind me, I felt the tips of Alucard's hair tickle the back of my neck and the unmistakable smell of gunpowder and iron also became more potent. I didn't close my eyes, not as the darkness consumed us and pulled us into the depths of the Hellsing estate. 

xx

#hellsing #hellsing imagine #alucard x reader #reader insert #reader imagines #hellsing ultimate

[ahomeformystories]

Breathe

I hold him because I wanted something to fill my arms and my heart. I hold him because I see beauty in stillness, in the way his hair falls forward, in the curve of his back, in the set of his shoulders. 

It’s wonderful feeling, having someone in your arms. 

Arms around his waist, one leg dangling over the edge of the bed. He holds his shirt between his hands I think. Mine is still somewhere else on the bed and there is almost no barrier between his heart and mine. 

My forehead rests against his back and I breathe. I breathe in and my chest expands -- sometimes it is empty and hollow but today it is searching. Scouring. I breathe out and my chest falls inward and I rest.

I can feel him move. The dips and ridges in his shoulder blades made my his hands moving. The steady flow of his breath.

Did you know, that you aren’t just filling my arms, I want to tell him. You are filling a space in my being. 

Each of my breaths are loud and heavy and deep and I’m sure he feels each of them but he does not ask. Only lays a hand on my knee and calls out my name. 

My forehead presses into his back as a response.

He doesn’t say more. Gives me the time to breathe as if he knows this process is necessary for me. An almost kind of meditation.  A grounding. 

(one)

(two)

(three)

I let him go, arms sliding away to rest against my thighs but he does not leave yet.  Instead, he leans back into me and I shift to nuzzle the space behind his ear. I feel and hear his laugh. It is simple. It is enough. 

x

#oneshot #imagine #imagines #drabble #otp imagines

[ahomeformystories]

The Morning After

- I was inspired a bit after reading a few fics of Loki in his Jotunheim form going into heat. He and the reader are together and the reader finds him in his room and decides, what the hell, they’re going to get him through it

- What was going through my mind is “What happens after all of that?” and while yes, it may be very satisfying they do need to talk about it. The reader and Loki now need to face the consequences? results? of their actions when Loki is now more lucid

- I already have a part 2 in mind but will need to get around writing it

- Please leave any comments, suggestions or feedback! Written from a first person POV

- Word Count: 937 words

------ 

I felt a bit stiff and sore and needed a good stretch after everything but first, a bath. “I’m going to take a shower. You can join me if you’d like” I slid to the edge of the bed. I gently stretched my neck, rolled my shoulders and even pointed and flexed my feet to wake them up after staying in bed for the past few days. “I’ll follow. Go on ahead, my dear” Loki only had to extend his arm to brush his hand across my back and when I glanced over my shoulder I saw him just staring at the ceiling. I take it he’d need some time then and with that I made my way to the bathroom.

I stepped under the hot shower with a sigh. It was heaven.  I stood there and just let the water flow over me. Down my head and onto my shoulders. I felt it flow down my chest, back and all the way down my legs. I bowed my head and watched the hair around me be pulled down by the weight of the water.

I needed a moment.

After discovering Loki’s “condition”, I did what I could to get through the worst of it. Now that he seemed a bit more stable and lucid, there were a lot of things we needed to talk about. How often did this happen? Did he think shutting himself away was really the best thing to do? Why didn’t he tell me before? It was easier to focus on the questions directed to him because my mind was still reeling from that past few days. Everything was… It was a lot. The way he moved was driven by pure need and almost a desperation for release. There was pain, pleasure, bruising kisses and firm holds that followed. There were times it even felt like we held onto each other for dear life as we both went over the edge. And while I didn’t mind the occasional not-so-gentle treatment I felt like there was such a big gap in — A gasp tore me out of my thoughts as I turned my attention to Loki. He looked completely horrified. I didn’t understand what he saw that rooted him on the spot though so I turned my gaze down to my body to find what he was looking at and saw — Oh.

It had been pretty dark in the room so none of us had a chance to really see each other’s bodies and I went straight into the shower without a passing glance in the mirror because I thought I’d just see a tired but very satisfied face. But what I saw also didn’t surprise me. I lifted my arms to inspect the damage. There were faint bruises just below my wrists and then on my shoulders then as I moved lower I saw similar bruises around my hips. I didn’t bother to check but I could imagine similar or darker markings on my neck, back and behind. But these were expected given the state he was in, so I didn’t understand why he still hadn’t moved.

I extended my hand to him and said “Come here” Loki did not move but I could still see the way his eyes were trailing up and down my body. I stepped out of the shower, took his hand and slowly pulled him back in with me. I had expected more resistance but I’m glad he let me lead him under the running water. “Sometimes I bruise easily. That’s hardly a crime you know” I kept my voice soft because he still looked like he was going to run at any moment. “You haven’t seen it all” came his soft reply. Very gently, he lay his hand on the left side of my neck and then traced a path to my right collar bone. Ah.

/Arms held him tight as we moved to steady rhythm. By then I had closed my eyes to just focus on the feeling of his lips on mine, claiming and demanding and at the sensation building at my core. I whined when his lips left mine but this was replaced by a gasp when I felt him bite down into the side of my neck as he reached his peak/

His fingers traced a line down the center of my back and I couldn’t imagine what was there and then he stopped as he fitted his hand to the shape of the bruise that was forming on my hip.

/It was difficult to wrestle control from Loki when he was like this but I had somehow managed to get him on his back and straddle him. I was holding him down with almost everything I had, my hands on his chest and hips trying to keep him in place. I had already fully seated myself on him but he still tried to take control of the pace by the way he thrusted and gripped my hips/

“I’m sorry” was all he could manage. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close. “I can’t say I was ready to face what I found but I still chose to stay. Maybe not today but we need to talk about this. I need to understand” I looked at him through the curtain of his hair that had fallen over his face. “You need to talk to me” I waited until his eyes finally met mine and he nodded. “Thank you” I left the lightest of kisses on his cheek but we made no move to disentangle ourselves from one another.

#loki #loki x reader #loki reader insert #loki imagines #loki fluff #loki x you

[ahomeformystories]

#the house in the cerulean sea #arthur parnassus #linus baker #book quotes

[ahomeformystories]

Human Connection

Written because the pandemic and quarantine makes you miss certain people and certain kinds of interactions. 

And the Sea. Who wouldn’t want to just go to the beach again soon to be with the sea. 

~

I couldn’t keep myself from the sea – not when it was vast and oh so beautiful to bask in and now, so close to us for the next few days. I dug my heels into the sand and relished the feel of the smooth grains and the gentle waves surrounding my feet.

The water would ebb.

Then it would flow.

And I couldn’t get enough of it.

I reached out to put my hand just lightly over the water’s surface, feeling the water as it grazed my fingers and palm. Feeling a sense of connection not just to my body but to the world.

I closed my eyes and took in everything. The salty air, the wind, the waves, the sand and the darkness.

A few breaths and a number of heartbeats passed.  

I opened my eyes to catch the last few minutes of dusk.

The porch lights turned on behind me and heard the surprised exclamations of other guests from within the resort. The silence of dusk would soon give way to the excitement of the night.

I watched as a shadow moved closer until a figure stood beside me.

“It’s almost time to eat” She said beside me.

“For me, yes. I don’t know about you” I wrapped my arms around my knees as if I could hold on to the peacefulness that surrounded me.

I looked up at her and when I made no effort to move, she finally sat down.

It was an acceptable distance. Just enough between friends. But I was in a good mood and my heart was full, so I didn’t stop myself from wanting more.

I looked at our feet, side by side in the sand and the water that ebbed and flowed around it. And after a moment, moved my foot so that it touched hers. I smiled to myself as she made a small noise in response.

I decided I wanted to keep feeding my heart that was already full, so I moved closer to her to nudge my head against hers and received a soft “boop” in response. I hooked my arm with hers and finally rested my head on her shoulder.

I didn’t say anything.

Maybe there was nothing to say.

Or maybe the wind and waves said it all for me.

If we weren’t about to eat, I would have asked her to lie down with me in the sand. Maybe next time.

“Are you senti?” she asked.

I scoffed.

“Just happy. And appreciative. So, yea maybe I am” I pulled myself closer towards her.

Her only response was to lean her head against mine.

#quarantine: what I miss #human connection #human interaction

[ahomeformystories]

Human Faces

- Was a little inspired after watching the episode when Pip meets Seras for the first time and when Alucard walks out of the wall while they were in the museum.

- Think of it as probably one of those smaller meetings Integra would have to deal with but obviously, it doesn't really fit into the plot unlike the first one I wrote

- Still written in a first person POV with implied Alucard x Reader

- Again, any feedback or comments are welcome! :) 

Word Count: 986

~~

I stood leaning against the wall at the back of the room watching Integra politely but impatiently listen to the request of the two men. I believe they were asking for some kind of protection in exchange for access to an ancient manuscript or tome that they thought would be useful to us. 

Usually it was Walter who accompanied Integra in meetings like this but he was most likely running a different errand for Integra. Alucard wouldn't and shouldn’t be bothered with these kinds of things and Seras was most likely asleep. 

I didn’t mind getting up before sunset, in fact I actually missed being able to stand under the sun. But now, I could only content myself by watching the sun go down through the large tinted windows behind my current employer’s desk.

Admittedly, I was only half listening to the conversation until one of the men said “I don’t believe in monsters”. That earned a smile from Integra and an eyebrow raise from me. 

“We’ve heard rumours of course but we would like more solid proof of the people you work with and the type of protection you could provide.” The younger and slightly more polite one added. 

Provide? I didn't know if we even agreed to provide them with anything just yet.  I watched as the sun disappeared behind the building facade. Soon, it would be true dark and the realest of us monsters would come out to play. 

“How can you not believe in monsters when there’s been one standing with us in the room the whole time?” Integra simply gestured in my direction and I took that as my cue to step out of the shadows. 

I saw them turn towards the back of the room but their focus did not land on me. Instead, I felt the darkness come alive and a much stronger and less welcoming presence fill the room. 

Damn. 

Apparently, Alucard was awake...and listening so it can as no surprise to me when he stepped out from between the walls. No one could mistake him for being human. The glowing red eyes, almost vicious smile and sharp teeth were the usual characteristics of a monster. But it was the dark aura and foreboding presence that sent chills up their spines that made Alucard undeniably a monster. 

“Good Evening” He drawled. “I heard you wanted to meet a monster”

I decided, what the hell. 

“You wanted to meet one, well he’s the worst one.” I too stepped out of the shadows and took a spot closer to the door. 

The two men looked between me and Alucard, knowing full well what he was but they weren't sure what to make of me. 

“Excuse my language, Miss, but you look very human to me.” The younger one pointed out. 

Fair point. I didn’t have the telling physical characteristics or foreboding aura of Alucard and people -- humans and vampires alike -- thought that made me less of a threat. 

“Monsters don't always come with scary faces. Sometimes, they can look just like you.” I said with a shrug. But to make a point I took hold of the shadows around me and pulled. The shadows on the floor and wall began to close in on them and finally, I saw the fear reflected in their eyes. I didn’t ned to look at Alucard to know that he was grinning at my side. 

“I think that’s a sufficient enough demonstration for now” Integra’s voice made me cut my little show short. Reluctantly, the men turned their attention back to her as if they knew turning their backs to “monsters” was a mistake. 

“Well...” The younger one cleared his throat. “Do we have a deal?”

Integra was silent for a moment, looking between the two men until she finally said “I will consider your proposal. Once you show me proof of the tome that you say is in your possession.”

They left within a few minutes after that, with promises to return or send the required proof. I only gave them a curt nod as they exited the room, noticing how they only quickly glanced at Alucard while their gaze lingered on me. 

I let out a yawn as the door closed behind them.  “I don’t know how Walter can sit through a day of meetings like that” I stretched my arms over my head. 

“It’s part of the job” was all Integra said as she lit a cigarette. 

I turned my attention to Alucard.  “I didn't expect you to grace us with your presence for such a small meeting.”

“I wanted to know why my bed was empty when I woke up. I also believe my presence made them believe, without a doubt, in the existence of monsters.” He only grinned at me. 

“Yes, I’m sure they’ll dream of you when they imagine something coming for them in the night” I half-joked. 

“That is also very likely. I wouldn’t mind having a good meal.” Alucard even made a show of licking his lips. 

“Don’t eat them just yet. Let’s see if they really have that manuscript.” Integra leaned back into her chair. 

“Of course” was all Alucard said but it was hardly a promise. 

I felt the shadows around me move once again but I wasn’t the one controlling them. Slowly, almost gently, I felt the darkness move closer towards me. As it touched my skin, I was reminded of the silky feeling of Alucard’s hair when I’d run my hands through it. I could only let out a sigh.

“Am I relieved of duty, Sir Integra?” Alucard had already disappeared but I at least wanted to be discharged properly. 

Integra dismissed me with a flick of her cigarette and a smirk on her face. Only then did I let myself be pulled back into the depths of the Hellsing estate and to the welcoming arms of my beloved monster. 

xx

#Hellsing x Reader #Hellsing Imagine #reader insert #Alucard x reader

[ahomeformystories]

A Stolen Moment

A short Hellsing Ultimate drabble (with a reader insert)

- Set before all hell breaks lose during the war. The reader can be considered Alucard’s partner and needs a moment to take in everything that’s happening. 

- Written a bit differently from the way imagines are usually written. Instead of seeing Y/N or written in third person, it’s written in a first person POV instead

Word Count: Around 700

(This is also one of the first fics I’m going to be posting. Please be kind /) A (\ Feedback and reviews are always appreciated!)

~~~ 

It was unusual to have everyone together for a meeting when orders were usually given and reports were as casual as an update thrown over one’s shoulder. But here we all were, seated at a round table and discussing our assets should anything happen to us during this upcoming war. If any of us made it out alive. It didn't matter that almost half of the table compromised of vampires, we all needed to sort this out. 

Seras went first, deciding that she probably had the least number of assets to declare. Bernadotte went next, easily delegating it to his group of fellow mercenaries. I went next. Technically, I didn’t owe them anything -- information about myself or what I owned, even service -- but as long as Alucard was here then here I would stay. 

“Is this where I declare if I have a hidden bank account overseas or a house in another country or something?” I half-joked. 

“If you want it to be taken care of, then yes. Now would be the time” The lawyer answered patiently. I looked at everyone seated at the table, one by one. I wasn't as young as Seras when it came to being a vampire so I had been able to amass some belongings over my few lifetimes. With a sign, I gave them a list of properties, bank accounts and charities. I also said my own representative would be in touch and that the necessary details would follow. Alucard named only one thing, his coffin -- everything else he didn’t need or would probably be taken care of by Integra. 

Walter came next and I could say I was pleasantly surprised by the assets he owned outside of Hellsing. Integra, of course, didn’t have to answer to any of us so it took just about 3 hours to finish everything. The night was still young. 

Everyone left the table after that but I chose to remain in my seat for a while longer. There was so much going to happen and only now had I begun to realize what was at stake. The previous missions were difficult but sometimes felt like a game, sending Alucard in and knowing whoever he faced wouldn't survive. But this war...was there actually a chance that he wouldn't survive? 

I must have been so deep in thought that Alucard needed to gently take hold of my chin and turn me to face him in order to pull me out of it. 

“What is it?” was all he asked. 

He was slouching a bit, long arms and torso bent in order to meet me at eye-level. His face, although close was still a good measure away from mine.  I had no answer. Or perhaps I simply did not want to vocalize it just yet. So instead of answering I stood up. I stepped in front of him and when he let me, I took a step to stand in between his legs. My hands thread themselves into the thick black hair at the base of his neck. His hair, for some reason, always appeared to be flowing or pushed around by the endless number of shadows he held within him. I looked down at him, the red eyes that eyed me curiously, the curve of his mouth that seemed to be caught in smirk. I let one hand move from the base of his skull and go through the length of his hair. It was always soft to touch. When I reached the tips, one of his hands caught mine and placed it on the side of his face. 

“Are you afraid?” He finally asked me. 

Was I? For myself? Or for him? 

I finally decided to answer when the door opened and Seras exclaimed  “Master! I --” but stopped dead when she saw the position we were in. 

I suppressed a smile but did not move.

“What is it?” Alucard tore his eyes away from mine and leaned his head on my chest as he turned to face her. I dropped my hands and let them hang loosely on top his shoulders as I turned my attention to the glowing moon while they talked. 

“N..Nothing. I..I..” Her embarrassment was obvious but neither of us made a move to separate. She tried again.  “It’s nothing important. I’ll look for Walter or Sir Integra instead” and with that, the door shut and she was gone. 

I turned my attention back to Alucard, an amused smile playing on my lips. 

“Let’s go outside”

I felt, more than heard the answering hum Alucard gave me. He stood, our eyes locked onto one another again as the shadows moved and engulfed the both of us. 

Part 2 here! 

xx

#hellsing #hellsing imagines #alucard x reader #reader insert #reader imagines #hellsing ultimate

[ahomeformystories]

To the one that made me dream

Everything we had wasn’t real. Those made up stories and scenarios that played endlessly in my mind -- the smiles, confusion, the feelings were all only possibilities. 

Isn't it wonderful I remember thinking a long time ago, that a person can make you so unbelievably happy and not even know it. 

Isn’t that beautiful? 

My heart would swell, beat so much faster and tumbled in so many directions but you’ll never know. No one had ever made me dream this way before. At least no one real. 

The first person that made me realise that this is what it’s like to see something in a person and want it, want them. To be a part of their world some way, some how. I shouldn’t distract myself though by wanting your approval or praise because I doubt you even think of me that much. 

I’ll try not to be too much but for once my excitement wants to come out and be made real. It wants to make these words, images and dreams I’ve built come to life in a world outside my own mind.

I am restless.

But I need to be still. Be still my erratic heart and wild imagination or at least be still enough for me to still see you as you are. Flawed but still beautiful. Real and present but not mine. 

You may never know the stamp you left on me and my heart but thank you for filling it with so much joy. I will always remember you as the first real person who made me dream. Who made me believe that love, adventures and mystery can be found in the world and not just in my dreams.

#love #love letter #sort of #feelings #letting go #lettingyougo