Potentially hot take but I find the mandatory disclosure of pronouns increasingly prevalent in academic and some professional settings to be dystopic as hell, not cause "pronouns cringe" but because the mandatory reporting of your personal gender identity to a group of total strangers over and over again is fucking weird and invasive
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*takes you on a museum date and proceeds to explain the most disgusting and bizarre facts to you with unveiled excitement*
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Bradley Whitford as Dr. Jonathan Crane and Ike Barinholtz as Harvey Dent/Two-Face in Batman: The Audio Adventures
Audio transcript under cut
JONATHAN CRANE: Session two. We meet again, for the very first time. So, why don’t you introduce yourselves.
HARVEY DENT: My name is Harvey Dent.
TWO-FACE: And I’m the senior partner!
CRANE: Oh, senior partner? But Harvey was here first wasn’t he?
TWO-FACE: Wrong… Wrong! I was here first
DENT: He was. He’s always been here.
TWO-FACE: I’m Harvey’s blood, ya get it? Y’know the sticky red stuff. Before College Boy learned his own name, I was what he knew.
CRANE: Listen-
TWO-FACE: I’m all you need to know.
DENT: He’s what we all are, Doctor. Before the civilizing influences.
TWO-FACE: (Laughs) Ah, civilize this short pants!
CRANE: Fascinating. It’s a very, very interesting story. But I heard a different one. It’s a horror story. It takes place in a courtroom - stars you, Harvey. A jet of pressurized acid and a hideous disfigurement.
TWO-FACE: Best day of our life.
CRANE: Is that so?
TWO-FACE: That day set me free, like it was in the beginning.
CRANE: I don’t think the acid set you free. I think it found you in your hiding place.
TWO-FACE: What?
CRANE: I think you were hiding, because you were afraid. I think you’re still afraid. Afraid of what you would do without Harvey.
TWO-FACE: Ha! Like fun.
CRANE: Do you ever wonder… what if that acid had taken more than half your face that terrible day? What then? What if when the acid had done it’s business there wasn’t enough Harvey left to do the serious work?
TWO-FACE: Ha! Oh, it never crossed our mind.
CRANE: You won’t let it. Because it frightens you, doesn’t it? The thought of being alone. Let’s try something. Bear with me. (Desk drawer opening) Guess what I have here in this jug. (Jug being uncapped) Oof! What fumes! Let’s just pour a splash or two into the glass. (Liquid pouring)
DENT: Wh-What is that? What are you doing?
CRANE: It’s a 97% solution of muriatic acid, Harvey. I believe that’s your brand.
TWO-FACE: What- What are you gonna do with that?
CRANE: What are you afraid I’m gonna do with it, hmm? Tell me as I wave it around carelessly (Liquid splashes out of the cup) Oops! As the vapors burn your nostrils, tell me about the fear.
TWO-FACE: (Laughs) Fear? You couldn’t be more wrong, Doc. You think we got some deep trauma about what happened that day? We’re twice the man we were before. What we became isn’t some broken thing to be fixed. It’s something to be cleaned and oiled and reloaded. So sorry, Doc. Your acid doesn’t scare us. It made us. You wanna finish the job on our face? We dare ya!
CRANE: Your face? Oh, I am sorry. You misunderstand. I don’t think you fear for your face, I think you fear for the other handicap you acquired that day.
TWO-FACE: What?
CRANE: And all it would take to reduce you to a puddle of quivering terror would be for me to take your coin off the table like this, and…
TWO-FACE: Wait, wait, wait, what are you-
CRANE: Oops! Into the drink. Oh my! Look at it dissolve. That’s muriatic acid for you.
TWO-FACE: What did you-
CRANE: It’s called agressive intervention. And why don’t we stop there for this session? Good progress. I think we made a breakthrough.
TWO-FACE: What did you do?!
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