musicorum-femina

[musicorum-femina]

i was set up to be a perfectly normal kid but someone let me get a hold of franz kafka too early in my development and now I'm here

[musicorum-femina]

hello :)

hi!

[musicorum-femina]

I was able to persuade myself that there was nothing wrong with me

Nausea, Jean Paul Sartre

#nausea #sartre #jean-paul sartre #book #book quotes #dark academia #dark academic aesthetic #quotes #exsistential crisis #exsistentialism #gaslight #mental health

[musicorum-femina]

Yes, it is difficult to love, to give all your time, your effort, your energy, your attention. To do anything for someone, to be there for them no matter what. But people don’t talk about how hard it is to let someone love you. To let someone hold you, let them listen to your thoughts and feelings. Let someone in. To let them kiss the scars on your skin, on your soul. Let them heal your wounds. To let them adore you, admire you. Let them stare into your heart and love it for all its imperfections. To let them adore and admire you, and not feel bad. Not feel ashamed and guilty. To accept the love you were so eager to give back. To let someone love you.

#unconditional love #love #in love #healing #healthy relationships #relationship #love starved #hopless romantic #Helpless Romantic #cute #romantic #yearning #acceptance #love yourself #love your flaws #let others love you #random #alone

[musicorum-femina]

the moon is so pretty, the stars so bright, i feel the wind on my skin, i am alive.

#and i will make the most of it #beauty #poetry #idk #life #life is beautiful #it gets better

[musicorum-femina]

— Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals Of Sylvia Plath

[text ID: And so it seems I must always write you letters that I can never send.]

#my fav hobby #regret

[musicorum-femina]

I waited, as if the sea could make my decision for me.

– Sylvia Plath, from The Bell Jar

#why can i never decide #indecision #conflicted #i love sylvia plath

[musicorum-femina]

— Jean-Paul Sartre, from “Nausea.”

#burnt out #ive lost control of my life #ive lost meaning #why am i here

[musicorum-femina]

Jean-Paul Sartre, Nausea

[musicorum-femina]

you think you can fix me? glue back the shredded pieces, conceal the abyss? I don’t need someone to glue and stick me back together. I need someone to stich back together my scattered pieces, weld them so they stick. Cover the gaping holes with their own skin. A beautiful quilt. I need someone to cradle me gently, and blow my spirit back into me with tender whispers. For them to become one with me, body mind and soul. To kiss me until my skin knows nothing but their lips, to hold me till my body knows nothing but their arms, to be with me till my heart knows nothing but their love. To forget myself when I am without you. I need to pour my entire soul into them, every skewed, scarred part, and for them to return the favor. To be unified till I don’t know where i end and you begin. I want to own your heart, and you to own mine. You can’t fix me. But you can hold my hand as I burn.  

#love #love starved #you cant fix me #in love #relationship #i want to destroy myself #in loving you #vent #shitpost #i love you #one day i'll get there #random #im driving myself insane #all i want is you #love is beautiful #love is blind #love is fatal #the love I'll find #whats wrong with my brain #why can't i do that #why cant i be normal #why cant i love #why am i so scared #poetry

[musicorum-femina]

idk if its my fear or abandonment or lack of stability in my life or something else, but ive always dreamt of being in a completely utterly obsessive relationship. Where you can’t think about anything but your partner, can’t be without them without physical pain, gladly letting them consume your entire life. Be possessive, jealous, clingy, as long as you are absolutely obsessed with me, because lord knows ill do it back. I would do anything for my partner, walk through fire and ice. But i’m always so scared ill get left behind even after doing all of that. So now all i want is to be their one and only, their zest for life, just like they would be mine. Maybe its unhealthy, maybe its insane, but i know i would feel most loved in the intensity, burning passion, the love that would burn the whole world for eachother.

#or maybe im just crazy #love #love starved #obsessive #passion #all i want #i just want love #am i being insane? #idek if this makes sense

[musicorum-femina]

the older i get the more i want a cute pure wholesome relationship. I want to send handwritten love letters with wax seals tied with ribbon to each other, write small notes and surprise them with it, go stargaze together, go on a picnic and feed each other strawberries, hold hands. I my hair stroked as we read books together, long warm embraces, dancing in the rain and hot chocolate by the fire. I want to adore and cherish them, because if i ever dated someone i would give them my everything, my heart my mind my soul. I just want to love and be loved in return. 

#wish i wasnt like this #love #love starved #touch starved #stargazing #romantic #helpless romantic #i love you #maybe if i wasnt so destructive #is this too much to ask #relationship #daydreams

[musicorum-femina]

i want to be in love. Properly utterly fully in love. I want to love someone from the hair on their head to the tip of their toes and know that they treasure me just as much. I want to meld my mind, heart and soul with someone, become what makes each other whole.

#love #love starved #i wish i was a better person #i hate how i mess up every good chance i get #my crippling fear of hurting people and being abandoned will forever keep me isolated and stop me from the one thing i want #unconditional love #i have so much love to give #but im scared my destructive habits will ruin everything #i miss you #one day #i will get there #i will get better #because this is all i want in life. #vent #random thoughts

[musicorum-femina]

sometimes i wish the world would just pause. For just a moment. And perhaps i could finally just exist, simply exist.

#finally be myself full whole and true #no worries or cares #free to be a person free of everything is this crazy world #thoughts #rambling #wishes #im so bad at tags #exist #existential crisis #im so tired

[musicorum-femina]

OMFG THANK YOU, YOU’RE SO SWEET AHHHHH, YOU LITERALLY MADE MY DAY

if someone held my hand tenderly, looked into my eyes, and said “i’m proud of you” and then hug me I would start crying right there on the spot and never let them go. 

#we need more people like you in the world #this actually made me so happy #you're so pure and sweet omfg #im proud of you too

[musicorum-femina]

just finished Goodnight Punpun and holy shit im in shock

#i read it all in two night #its so good #i love it so much #its probably my favourite manga now #im not going to stop thinking about it for months #found my new hyperfixation #oyasumi punpun #goodnight punpun #punpun #asano inio #manga

[musicorum-femina]

if someone held my hand tenderly, looked into my eyes, and said “i’m proud of you” and then hug me I would start crying right there on the spot and never let them go. 

#one day please let this happen i need it #ive been trying for so long #im so tired #love starved #touch starved #love