#{thing}lens

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

#actuallynpd #signal boost #actuallyautistic #mental health awareness #narcissistic personality disorder #people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias #(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar #mentally ill or otherwise ND) #the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there' #no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo #anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that #he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful #misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included #several personality disorders. one of which was NPD. #and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and #he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he #was glad he did #fun times #or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to #support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma #bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me #trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them. #again..... fun times

[staticsaturniid]

Won't you let them in? :(

#marble hornets fanart #marble hornets #mh skully #if youre cold theyre cold #that fisheye lens shot of them still is the funniest thing to me #my art

[cemeterything]

#🐉 #this is what i love about being involved in community spaces for fiction though tbh #everyone has different personalized interpretations of the source material and some of them align with my own or make me go 'oh huh i never #thought of that but yeah i can see it' while some of them just dont compute at all and make me wonder if we saw the same thing #which of course. we didnt. or rather we saw the same objective source material but we *saw* it completely differently through the lens of #our own experiences and worldview. #its so cool #however i will sometimes be a hypocritical little hater about it

[tiktaalic]

catching fire dash simulator

finnicksgirl Follow

my streams have been cutting all season omfg what is going on

caps4finnick Follow

cinnagirl3000 Follow

anybody heard from cinna lately?

plutarcheology Follow

Plutarch Heavensbee circa 2282

revolutionarykatniss

As if it’s not ENOUGH that yall wanna fuck the most morally bankrupt man alive who is more than complicit because he gets paid to live in luxury to ORCHESTRATE the deaths of innocents so that they’re a spectacle and don’t have the option to die even semi peacefully. as if that’s not enough. You wanna fuck him when he’s ugly?

caesarflickerwoman Follow

anyone else still thinking about how caesar and peeta were kinda ..

czrflckmn

Aren’t you the one who had the week long meltdown about peeta being overfamiliar with him

caesarflickerwoman

Well you see I’m gay and a man now

theeclove Follow

already tired of this fucking season of everlark -_- idgaf about the fucking fog

siblingvictors

DISTRICT ONE GONNA SEND THEM A CANCELLATION NOTICE!! #CASHMEREGLOSS4EVER

czrflkmn Follow

everyone looooooves to act like NOTABLE cishet peeta is so gay w caesar as if his gay cohost isn't right there.... slaying in a wig..... sending yearning glances caesar's way right before the camera cuts......

johannadykeson Follow

tbh she’s got the WORST taste in allies idek why i continue to stan. girl MAGS?

#my girl going to get slorn :/

katnissgirlsmakedo

She is choosing with her HEART she chose to save peeta in the games REMEMBERRRRRRRR she’s literally a lovergirl to the core

#lovecore #heartcore #truelove

lucygraydotcom Follow

Caesar flickerman kidn if a laughing gnome. Reblog

finnickforever Follow

I’ve supported finnick through a lot and defended them and I’ve always been proud they're from my district but honestly they went way too far by doing the salute during the interview. I can only hope that they just got caught up in the moment with everyone else doing it and obviously it’s a stressful situation but I don’t think I can continue endorsing them. I’ll be changing my url this week.

divorceekatniss Follow

hey guys i know times are tough for everyone and the capital has really cracked down but my mutual @divorceepeeta got flogged the other day and could really use some help. v3nmo here. anything helps #signalboost #mockingjay

disabledmags Follow

Tbh the baby is the saddest thing I've ever heard </3

peetaspride

Another citizen falling for capital propaganda. It's so glaringly apparent that this is made up to draw in views. The tributes undergo extensive medical examination prior to the games. They would NEVER let a pregnant woman compete.

disabledmags

As if killing children has ever stopped them before?

#We all saw him fall to protect her stomach before they even started the victory tour #Is it that ridiculous to believe two newlyweds fresh out of a life or death situation would celebrate a little carelessly?

peetaspride

If you think even the marriage is real you're stupider than I thought. Peeta spends every interview begging us to see his truth. The capital is shamelessly silencing him and "the baby" is a distraction.

peetasbabymama Follow

URL CHANGE!! faggotpeeta->peetasbabymama

cupcakeeverlark

this isnt funny. peeta's a real person with real feelings. it will never be funny to call someone a f***** as a joke. how would you feel if my url was f*****peetasbabymama?

peetasbabymama

ok

district420

isnt cupcakeeverlark literally prez snow's 12 yr old granddaughter lol

tendinghiswounds

OOMF IS 12???????????

everlarklovechild

the age is the problem here?

marriedeverlark Follow

Canon url 🎉🎊💅😁🥰♥️

beeteemp3 Follow

New content of my favorite tribute 😁😁😁

3ffietrinket

Girl there’s a 96% chance they die ?

peenick Follow

getting reports from the presidential banquet that Peeta looks gay as fuck

3v3rlark Follow

ik peeniss has been flagging w the rehearsed speeches but did anyone else see the way they looked at each other in the censored district 11 speech

rues-song

you’re STUPID she’s a capital pawn AND i fucked your mom while you were busy looking for illegal streams

senecacraneofficial Follow

rip seneca you were so babygirl </3

plutarchbaby69

so now you think we can’t fuck old men?

#this fandom is so ageist #this is prob what I get for blogging about thg tbh since # it’s literally about kids. Some of you ppl need to grow up

#etxt #the hunger games #making a post with han is pretty much the most classic thing Len can do

[secretmellowblog]

Another reason I dislike Les Mis adaptations that make Jean Valjean constantly openly angry/violent is because they miss that Jean Valjean is not allowed to be angry. The fact he is forbidden from expressing anger is, I argue, actually a very important part of his character in the novel!

One of the subtler political messages of the story is that some people are given freedom to express anger, while others are forced to be excessively meek and conciliatory in order to survive.

Wealthy conservatives like Monsieur Gillenormand can “fly into rages” every five minutes and have it treated as an endearing quirk. Poor characters like Fantine or Jean Valjean must be constantly polite and ingratiating to “their superiors” at all times, even in the face of mockery and violence, or else they will be subjected to punishment. If Gillenormand beats his child with a stick, it’s a silly quirk; if Fantine beats a man harassing her, she is sentenced to months in prison.

(Thenardier and Javert are interesting examples of this too. Thenardier acts superficially polite and ingratiating to his wealthy “superiors” while insulting them behind their backs. Javert, meanwhile, is completely earnest in his mindless bootlicking. But I could write an entire other post on this.)

The point is that….Jean Valjean has to be submissive and self-effacing, or he puts himself in danger. He can’t afford to be angry and make scenes, or he will be punished. The only barrier between himself and prison is his ability to be so “courteous” that no one bothers to pry into his past.

Jean Valjean is excessively polite to people, in the way that you’re excessively polite to an armed cop who pulls you over for speeding when you secretly have a few illegal grams of marijuana in the your car trunk. XD It’s politeness built on fear, is what I mean. It’s politeness built on a desperation to make a powerful person avoid looking too closely at you.

It’s politeness at gunpoint.

Jean Valjean has also spent nineteen years living in an environment where any expression of anger could be punished with severe violence. That trauma is reflected in the overly cautious reserved way he often speaks with people (even people who are kind and would never actually hurt him.)

So adaptations that have Jean Valjean boldly having shouting matches with people in public and beating cops half to death without worrying about the repercussions just make go like “???”

Because that’s part of what’s fascinating about Jean Valjean to me? On one hand, he is a genuinely kind compassionate person, who cares deeply about other people and behaves kindly out of altruism. But on the other hand, he was also “beaten into submission” by prison, and forced into adopting conciliatory bootlicking behaviors in order to survive. And it can sometimes be hard to tell when he is being kind vs. when he is being “polite” — when he is speaking and acting out of earnest compassion vs. when he is speaking and acting out of fear.

The TL;DR is that I think it’s important that even though Jean Valjean is very (justifiably) angry about the injustice that was inflicted on him, his anger is harshly policed at all times— by other people, and by himself. He has been told his anger is wrong/selfish so often that he believes it. His anger takes weirder more unhealthy forms because he has no safe outlet for it. His rage at society becomes a possessiveness towards Cosette and silent hatred of Marius, but primarily it becomes useless self-destructive constant hatred of himself. And while I might be phrasing this wrong, I think that’s what’s interesting about Jean Valjean’s relationship with anger— the way his justified fury at his own mistreatment gets warped into more and more unhealthy forms by the way he’s forced to constantly repress it.

#les mis #les mis letters #jean valjean #don’t mind me just Valjeanposting #you know I’m doing okay when I’m Valjeanposting #but yeah I can’t remember the first person who started talking about this concept with me #(it was years ago) #but now I think about it constantly #when you read the book looking through that lens #of certain charcaters being forced to act conciliatory and polite ‘under threat of violence’ #you notice it constantly #it’s such a running Thing #and you could write tons of posts about it on www.tumblr.com

[hamartia-grander]

Just so y'all know, if you as a fanfic writer come up with something, and another fanfic writer coincidentally comes up with the same thing... That is not plagiarism. That is a hive mind, and it happens a lot. A lot. And you do not have the right to make someone "credit you" for an idea that they came up with, just because it's similar to yours. By the way.

#I've seen this a lot #Like knock it off. You didn't invent the gay lens you didn't invent having naturally occurring thoughts from the SAME MEDIA. #So funny seeing this with Reed900 of all things. You cannot claim someone stole your idea in the Stolen Idea Ship. #This isn't just ab r9 tho just in general #Fanfic #Fanfiction

[ir-dr]

Day 3599 - 18 February 2024

🫧They will be washed alhamdulillah🫧

🫧You can get one here!🫧

.//projectTiGER

#projecttiger #vocaloid #kagamine rin #kagamine len #merch things

[patdevilles]

Toni Collette and Monica Bellucci | Mafia Mamma (2023)

#mafia mamma #monica bellucci #toni collette #myedit #filmgif #filmedit #ms bellucci i am proposing #this is deranged i need to chew on some cardboard #two things: their glass is DIRTY. that lens flare is the bane of my existence. #a third thing: #queerbaiting is okay sometimes #(its not but lbr if this were actually gay no one would survive. there would be casualties.)

[fentoaster]

Ectoberhaunt Day 18: Unravel

Jack sat at his dining table, feeling pleased with his new invention. He scanned the room, waving around his prototype Fenton Ghoul-Glass, searching for spectral activity (albeit not expecting much.)

Danny walked into the kitchen, sending his dad a questioning glance. Jack beamed at him, launching right into an explanation.

As he pointed the glass to look at Danny, though, the words died in his throat.

For where his son should have been, stood the Phantom of Amity Park.

#unraveling secrets? get it? haha ok ill see myself out #danny phantom #ectoberhaunt23 #ectoberhaunt #eh science #day 18 unravel #danny fenton #danny #phantom #jack #for anyone wondering this concept was based on the lens of truth from ocarina of time/majoras mask #with a dp spin on it #my art #ALSO IF ANYONE WANTS TO USE THIS IDEA YOU HAVE FREE REIN TO DO SO #my fav thing about the dp fandom is everyone playing w each others ideas. such a fun sandbox

[thecryptidzenith]

Thinking about. Rizbert. Erizabeth. Rizwalda. Riz has to be short for something because... because why? Is he 'too good' for a short name? (a goblin name?) Isn't he surrounded by non-goblins who cannot think outside their cultural perceptions of what a name is supposed to be? Riz both as a name and as a person seems short & lesser but don't worry, he's really something greater, something larger and longer than can be expressed with his native name. As if something small cannot be powerful and important without secretly being large. As if there is only one way to be great. It's like Sklonda said, his name is Riz. Just Riz, as if there's anything 'just' about it.

#is this a joke. yes #but jokes are indicative of wider social things in the (fictional) world #and i find this a useful lens #also Sklonda literally says 'i don't like that your friends call you that. Your name is Riz' #clearly this is something the text touches on #and there's definitely a racialized aspect to it #plus the importance of names is kinda a running theme in FH #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fantasy high junior year #riz gukgak #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #d20 fhjy #dimension 20 fhjy #d20 #dimension 20

[kenobihater]

reblog for a bigger sample size of former angry, creative, and/or highly dramatic children

#len asks #strangling tw #choking tw #drowning tw #<- ik followers and moots need those tagged but lmk if there's any more you want me to add #polls #personally i mostly hung my toys up. not in like a morbid way but i thought it was fun to swing them from trees #DEF threw them off structures in a morbid way. and melted their faces off in a morbid way. and gave them swirlies in a morbid way #i usually only did that to free mcdonalds toys and i don't think i ever did any of this to my expensive toys but i did like a bit of #violence here and there. it was an interesting outlet for sure. i basically always did it with a friend as well. bonding <3 #OH and we put out sparklers on an action figure once before tying blackcats to him and throwing him off a bridge. fun times! #oh and the freezer. i think that's it tho and i honestly only did most of these things once bc the novelty wore off #gonna periodically rb this for a bigger sample size. i will be HIGHLY disappointed in y'all if 'none' sweeps

[cloudyydraws]

More Weeg

#mario fanart is breaking me out of artblock thank you luigi #figuring out how to draw them has been very fun i get to do neat things #also kagamine mario bros as a different piece this time bc i liked the last one sm #but maybe expect more mario fanart bc its been kinda fun #luigi #mario #super mario bros #vocaloid #? i guess #kagamine rin #kagamine len #mario bros #super mario fanart #cloudy draws #my art #art #fanart #super mario bros fanart #prince peasley #luisley #smb #smb luigi #smb fanart

[forbiddennhoney]

im gonna be so real - a lot of sapphics claim to love confident women esp confident femmes but when that confidence comes from femmes of color, fat femmes, disabled femmes, gnc &/or trans(masc or fem) femmes, or really just anyone who's not a thin cis white able bodied feminine person it's either outright ignored or treated with hostility and its kind of extremely ugly of y'all

#personal #not @ anyone just like #a trend ive noticed a bit #we're all called presumptuous or full of ourselves or literally outright ignored even in group settings #like ik its cause we live in an antiblack society that will always put whiteness (and things associated w/ white “purity”) on a pedestal #also ofc this isnt special to sapphics im just talking abt this from this lens bc im a lesbian and primarily move in these spaces

[erin-gilberts]

I have a firm belief that the only way Yellowjackets can end is with the death of each of the remaining survivors and [redacted] was just the first (second, really) of what will be all of them in time. "The wilderness" will reclaim them one by one because they weren't supposed to leave. But also they will be swallowed up by their own darkness in their refusal to acknowledge it and that will be the great tragedy of it. All of their deaths will be preventable, but inevitable in light of the cycles they keep on repeating.

#erin is talking #yellowjackets #whichever one has the role of the storyteller is going to be the last #I think this could be Shauna (the writer) or Misty (the lens through which the others are framed - see: elevating Nat to the queen) #the historian is going to live to bear witness to each end #Lottie however is going to have to close the loop and die #think about it: Lottie has had so many instances of basically asking to be allowed to die and the others denying her that #Laura Lee kicked her out of the afterlife; Van did not allow her to be on the table for their first hunt #The thing about your Jesus figure is that eventually (s)he does have to die #Whether she wanted that role or not she has to close the loop that began with her

[rileyclaw]

i just think the idea that optometry in the boiling isles is magic-based is VERY funny

#i saw willows dark frames in the S3 promo and went lol i can make a joke out of this #shout out to all the homies who don’t know their lens prescriptions (it’s me I’m homies) #the owl house #toh fanart #comic #my art #willow park #camila noceda #i needed to make this today ive had this joke in my head since i saw that damn poster #like fr gus has an optometrist machine in his room its considered a human thing #so the isles must have like.. magical optometry. maybe a healing coven thing where they can be like YUP heres glasses for your eyes!! #specifically for Your Eyes #toh

[jim-jam-gem]

Welcome to Crowley-vision.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #david tennant #michael sheen #good omens s2 #fan art #digital painting #as always I'm stopping now otherwise I'll keep adding bits #I was going to add several images to the right lens but I hate painting small things ha