— A FAIRYTALE BEGINNING | chapter 8
halcyonic mirage
pairing: Loki / f!half-Asgardian!Reader
word count: 4,436
summary: there is far more to the soulmate spell than your family has ever told you
in this chapter: the rest of the conflagration finally appears on page, more series lore, brief/non-descriptive discussion of blood magic and curses, Odin appearing briefly on page in the beginning, this chapter earns more points for the "idiots in love" tag, and so much hand-holding
author notes: hi! hello! how are all of my readers?
no this fic is not dead, nor am i. it's just been slowly roasting in the oven the last several months. i finished the first drafts of ch9 to ch22 back in November as part of NaNoWriMo, and have been slowly working my way through editing, rewriting, and finishing the rest of the fic since December. i picked up working on a few other wips along the way too, hence the long silence. my bad.
the good news: a few chapters are basically ready to go! i just have to finish working on some stuff with edits and rewrites for this, but for the most part a lot of this fic is written now.
( previous chapter | read on ao3 | series masterlist )
The feast is loud. Cheers, jeers, and the sounds of tankards being tossed to the floor ring across the entire Great Hall as Álfablót truly gets underway this evening.
You’re at a long table with friends and friendly faces, not far from where (hours ago now) the royal family sat to welcome the emissaries from Álfheimr. Now you’re sitting on top of the table, legs tossed over Loki’s lap as she traces shapeless lines on the palm of your hand she holds. You switch between jesting with the others in this mixed company, joking and telling tales with a few of your friends, and speaking quietly with only Loki.
As loud and exuberant as your friends are, and as boastful of their past and future deeds as Baldr and his friends are, you love this. You’re drunk on the bright atmosphere of celebration as you lay your head on Loki’s shoulder, and she continues to trace senseless patterns on your palm while the table laughs.
Somewhere out in the hall, your conflagration wanders and mingles with others. With Álfheimr’s emissaries, with visitors and ambassadors from various other realms, and with Æsir from all across this realm. The most glaring absence for visitors or ambassadors is the lack of Drekasál from Eldgard, Gymirsgard, or any other realm. There are only twelve dragons on Asgard, just as there’s been for as long as you can remember.
Near the head of the room, where the royal family sat, your father and uncle stand with the All-Father and the ambassador of Lakonía, one of the distant realms of Yggdrasil allied with Asgard. You have no idea what the four of them are discussing, nor do you care all that much. It’s likely politics or warfare related, knowing your father. You would rather focus on the revelry around you. On this celebration of Asgard’s peace treaty and alliance with Álfheimr.
That is, until you hear it.
There’s a sudden low hush that washes across the room in a quick wave. All the sounds of the feast suddenly drop in pitch. You hear the sudden drop-off of the skalds music, and that’s when your table finally turns its attention to the rest of the hall.
She strides through the hall without even a glance at those she passes. Like a goddess on a warpath. Dark in colour, the brightest points on her are the shining beads adorning her half-dozen braids and the bits of shining metal over dark leather. All eyes in the hall are on the stranger as she aims straight for the All-Father.
All three royal children rise slowly, Loki’s boots thudding softly on the bench seat as she drops your hand. The rest of your table tenses, readying for whatever signal they might give next. Your eyes flick quickly from Loki back to the woman, watching for whatever action your best friend chooses to take.
And then the stranger breaks free from the crowds, allowing you your first genuine look at her.
You notice the braids adorned in beads and the flashes of silver metal that protect her as she passes through the crowd. The combination isn’t remarkable. Most of the people here wear something similar, but then you spot the insignia emblazoned across her breastplate.
A down-pointed sword with the silhouette of two dragon-form Drekasál wrapped around the blade. An insignia that declares her to be a full-fledged himingarpr.
It says to you — and to others who know what it means for a Drekasál to become a himingarpr — this drekakona has a deep sense of loyalty to the Burning Crown, that she upholds the will of the Voiceless One, and that she has the desire to protect the lives of other Drekasál.
She is a dragon you can trust without reservation, just as you trust the himingarpar in your conflagration.
Even knowing what the insignia means, the sight of a new dragon in Asgard this evening shocks you. You can’t help but to reach out with your dragon-sense, checking what you’re already so sure of. Even from across the hall, you can feel that faint impression of her dragon. That distinct, irreplicable feeling you feel from every Drekasál in your conflagration. In your family.
Seeing the insignia and feeling her dragon, you relax. You take Loki’s hand, tugging lightly to catch her attention. When she looks down, you say loud enough that your entire table can hear, “She’s a himingarpr. She has the insignia, and I can tell from here she’s a Drekasál.”
At your words, the entire table relaxes, though they’re all still wary. It makes sense they are. For you, the drekakona’s arrival is little more than a curiosity; for them, she’s an unknown, even if she’s not a threat. She’s likely a last-minute ambassador from Eldgard, though you have no idea who she is. Asgard hasn’t seen a visiting Drekasál since the war between Asgard and Jǫtunheimr, so the arrival of an Eldgardian ambassador this year is a surprise.
When the drekakona stops several feet shy of the All-Father, he turns his lone eye on her, his horn of ale raised as if he was about to take a drink. Placing her left fist over her heart and lowering her head, she speaks loudly and clearly enough for her voice to be carried across the Great Hall.
“Hávi, it is an honour to stand before you. I am Helga, daughter of Tryggvi, who is the son of Thýri. I come to your realm this evening to continue my search for my soulmate. With your leave, I would like to begin my search in this hall before searching the city and then the rest of your realm in my quest to find them.”
Curiosity and excitement spark through you at her words. She’s not an ambassador, but (in your opinion) the truth of why she’s here is far more exciting.
Helga Tryggvadóttir has come to Asgard on her Soul Quest, a quest all Drekasál go upon to find their soulmate once they’ve come of age. It could take hours, or it could take centuries. Some might even put the quest on pause for other events in their life, but no dragon truly stops searching until they’ve found their soulmate.
Lady Tryggvadóttir looks up, dropping her hand back to her side. Her words were blunt, carrying all the grace of a dragon on the hunt. You wonder if you will be like that in a decade, when you are wandering Yggdrasil in search of your soulmate.
The silence that grabbed hold of the hall continues to ring through the air, and it feels as if it grows heavier the longer it goes on. You can’t remember a time when any feast has ever been this quiet for quite this long. A few seconds when something interesting catches the attention of the entire hall, but never longer than that.
You hear a goblet being dropped deep from the other side of the Great Hall. Then, finally, the All-Father dips his head at the drekakona and holds his hand out to her.
“Welcome to Asgard, Lady Tryggvadóttir. May your search in my realm be a short but fruitful one,” he says. Lady Tryggvadóttir places her hand in the old god’s, allowing him to give it a partial lift before the touch is broken. When he introduces her to your father, your uncle, and then to the Lakonían ambassador, you know that he’s not the soulmate she’s seeking. Such an occurrence would be subject to far more fanfare, especially considering who he is.
A quick touch of palms quickly establishes that neither your father nor the Lakonían ambassador is her soulmate, and after a few brief minutes of conversation, she excuses herself and slips back into the crowds to continue her search. The sounds of the feast had picked up after the initial introduction, but the volume level rises farther now that she’s slipped away from the spotlight.
Loki sits back down, her hand tucked between yours once more as the conversation at your table picks back up. You find yourself distracted, unable to keep your attention on the conversations around you. Your gaze keeps floating back out to the hall, continuously searching for glimpses of the drekakona as she weaves her way around groups. You watch as, time and again, Lady Tryggvadóttir stops to introduce herself and speak to various beings. She never lingers for more than a few minutes once she’s sure none of them is the soulmate she is seeking.
It fascinates you how so many watch her, even after she excuses herself from their presence. You wish she would drift closer to your table, so you might meet her, but you watch how steadfastly she moves in the opposite direction. She’d locked eyes with you just minutes ago, and you’d straightened up, hoping she would come over so you might meet her. Instead, she had excused herself from the noblewoman she spoke with to move away from your table.
Some part of you wonders if she’s avoiding you, though you can’t fathom why she might. You only want to meet her, to learn about her.
Lady Tryggvadóttir fascinates you in a way no other Drekasál has before. Daughter to a dragon you don’t know the name of, a himingarpr of no renown, and seemingly with no other purpose in visiting the Realm Eternal than to seek out her soulmate. The combination is what fascinates you about her. If she had come from a dragon of great renown or had made a name for herself, you would be far less interested in her. Yet here she is, an unknown dragon wandering the hall and conversing with so many who already have made a name for themselves.
In truth, it’s not her lack of prestige that fascinates you, but why she is here. She’s looking for her soulmate. Most of the Drekasál on Asgard don’t have a soulmate, but none of them ever leave to search for theirs either. They won’t tell you why, and you’d hoped maybe this new dragon would maybe be able to answer you since your conflagration refuses to.
Perhaps after tonight’s feast, you’ll be able to track her down and speak with her before she leaves the city. You have so many other questions for her as well. Your conflagration has lived in Asgard for so long now. What are the other realms like now compared to what your conflagration remembers?
Eventually, you lose sight of her as she wanders farther and farther from your table. You let yourself get lost in the conversations, trying not to dwell on the visiting drekakona. At least, not for the evening. You’ll enlist whoever you can to help find her tomorrow.
You’re finishing off another goblet of the sweet berry juice you’re so fond of when Loki tugs your hand to get your attention. When you look away from Gauti, and one of the young Einherjar trainees you’ve forgotten the name of, she’s looking at you with wide, gentle eyes, and a soft smile.
“Come dance with me?” Loki asks, tilting her head towards where other feast-goers have started line dancing.
The music has changed from general revelry to songs for dancing. Now that you’re paying attention to the melody, you can feel the urge to clap and dance with those already dancing. And yet, when Loki stands up and holds a hand out to you, you hesitate, goblet at your lips as you stare at her.
That half-second hesitation seems to be a bit much for Thor.
"Go dance with my sister, Firefly!" Thor says, gently — but with plenty of force — pushing against your back. That large, exuberant smile he's known for is on his face, encouraging you on. Gauti and the Einherjar trainees are quick to encourage you to leave and dance with Loki too. You can feel warmth blazing across your face, surprised at the sudden insistence from everyone that you dance with your best friend.
At the other end of the table, Baldr lifts his goblet into the air.
"Here here! Go dance, little dragon! Show my sister what a great dancer you are!" Baldr cheers. Baldr’s friends are quick to joining the cheer.
You laugh, a bit nervous from suddenly having the entire table cheering you on. Still, after a few more moments you place your hand in Loki's and stand from your seat atop the table. A roar of cheers from the table go up, and several tankards and goblets are tossed to the floor. You can't help but smile a bit sheepishly as Loki helps you down.
Your goblet clatters onto the table as Loki pulls you away from it, leading you towards the group of people dancing.
The line dance is one you both know well, so it’s easy for both of you to slip in at the end and join them. With every turn, every clap, every jump, it seems like the world grows brighter. Loki’s face is lit up with a wide grin as the two of you mirror the other dancers. Her joy is contagious as she takes your hands, twirling you around her as she leads the both of you through the steps. So much so that it envelopes your heart, making the room shine ever brighter. Soon enough, you’re laughing too as she spins you away from her, hopping into the air as you twirl around before returning to her side.
In perfect harmony with Loki and the other dancers, you step, twirl, and clap in time to the music. The more the tempo picks up, the more it all blends together. The movements, the sights, the sounds. It’s a moment of freedom, of sheer joy as you dance with Loki, never wanting to look away or let your hands leave hers even when they have to.
There is a sudden jump in noise from the crowd, one that you don’t pay attention to. You’ve been to enough of these feasts that you’ve learnt something will always cause a scandal, and you’d rather enjoy this dance than pay attention to whatever the cause of gossip is tonight. You’ll hear about it tomorrow, you always do.
It’s only when the music slows — and then stops mid-dance — that you take a moment to listen, and realise what everyone is talking about.
Lady Tryggvadóttir has found her soulmate.
Her soulmate is Lord Ivarr, Lady Katla’s heartmate.
You dart off into the crowd without waiting to hear more, pushing your way past and dashing between groups to where you know the conflagration usually gathers during these events. A flurry of words dances in and out of your ears from every group you pass, none of them sticking long enough for you to understand what’s being said. When you finally reach where their table is, you stop.
Lady Katla is sitting alone, looking lost in thought as she stares towards the far doors that lead out of the hall. While Lord Tórbjǫrn stands only a few feet away, he’s speaking with Lady Ásta, though his eyes keep darting back to his sister as he does. Lord Hákon is sitting on the table, much as you were earlier, while your mother, uncle, and Lady Brynja form a half-circle around him. Lord Félagi is nowhere to be seen (though this doesn’t surprise you too much, considering what you know about the drekamaðr). Lord Ivarr and Lady Tryggvadóttir are also absent, which both confuses and surprises you.
Gauti comes from your right, moving right past you and heading towards his mother, Lady Ásta. Loki appears on your left, stopping beside you.
“Where are they?” She asks in a whisper. Like you, she’s looking around, trying to see if she can spot the newly bonded pair.
You can’t help but wonder if you would care as much about who Lady Tryggvadóttir bonded to if it hadn’t been Lord Ivarr. If her soulmate wasn't a beloved part of your family.
“I don’t know. They weren’t here.”
You take Loki’s hand, the two of you closing in the half-circle around Lord Hákon. The four dragons look at Loki, assessing her in a way that (for reasons you can’t put a name to, but that you can feel) annoys you. You glare at them, though Lord Hákon lets out a brief chuckle at your glare.
“Suppose you’re wondering where they are, little dragon?” Lord Hákon asks with a smile.
“We heard, well, everyone talking about it,” you tell him, glare disappearing. You’re wondering if you misunderstood their looks at Loki because of the drekamaðr’s rather relaxed attitude when he speaks.
“Firefly wanted to meet Lady Tryggvadóttir, so we came over to see her now that she’s bonded to Lord Gunnarsson. Where have they gone?” Loki’s voice is firm, with not an ounce of give in her words as she looks around. You can’t help but look at her with a bit of awe at how she stares four dragons down with steel in her spine. Even Thor and Baldr give a little when the conflagration turns their eyes to them, but Loki doesn’t seem bothered at all by having so many dragons staring at her.
“Gone, for the evening at the least,” Lord Hákon tells her with a shrug of his shoulder. “We won’t see them until they’re ready. Could be tomorrow. Could be a week from tonight. All up to them.”
You turn to your mother and uncle, the question on the tip of your tongue. Your mother answers it before you’ve even said a word.
“Newly bonded pairs spend time alone until they’re both ready to be seen together again. This is normal, little starlight.”
“How long was it before you and Uncle Sveinn were seen again?”
“Three and a half days. That’s close to average. Part of the time is spent learning about each other, especially if you don’t know each other before the bond shows itself.” She places a gentle hand on your cheek, smiling at you. “You’ll see, some day.”
You frown, disappointed that you won’t see either dragon for several days at least. Still, if no one else is concerned…
Your eyes look past the other dragons, to Lady Katla. She’s still sitting there, alone and looking almost like she’s longing to be anywhere else but this hall. Is she concerned? Is she worried about Lord Ivarr? He’s one of her heartmates after all; you can’t imagine Lady Katla not being worried for him with all that Lord Ivarr means to her.
Letting go of Loki’s hand, you walk away from the others to where Lady Katla sits. When you stop next to her, she looks up at you, blinking almost like she’s in a mild daze. Something inside you softens, saddens. You sit down next to her, neither of you speaking for several long moments.
“You just looked lonely,” you tell her, softly enough so only she can hear you. “I thought you might want a friend.”
Her eyes widen, and she blinks a few times before she gives a slight smile.
“You are an odd drekabarn, little firefly.”
You can’t help the smile you give her as you say, “I know, Lady Katla.”
“Katla,” she says as she looks away once more. “Just Katla.”
◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦
“… and that is how the High Lady Auðhild discovered that, in certain cases, blood magic can be used to craft a tracking spell,” Frigga concludes, shutting the tome in her lap. “Are there any questions?”
You look up from your holotablet, where you’ve been taking notes and doodling along the way. You’re relaxed against a few of the myriad of pillows decorating the almost black-looking divan. There’s a thick chill in the air on this early winter morning, even with the warming spell that Frigga has placed on the room for the duration of winter. The cold makes itself at home in the room as the three of you finish up your last blood magic lesson. A large, warm blanket lays across your lap, stretched across the length of the divan to cover Loki as well. Loki’s legs are intertwined with yours at an angle, their weight warm and comforting.
You shake your head, shutting off the screen of your holotablet as you lay it in your lap. The lesson itself had been rather straightforward in how limited tracking spells with blood magic are, even if they’re the most accurate of any tracking spell branch. Item-essence tracking spells (tracking spells used on items owned by a person long enough that they’ve left an imprint on the item) are far more common for a reason, despite having a lower location accuracy and less reliability.
“I have a question,” Loki says, leaning forward and tossing her holotablet next to her legs. When Frigga looks over at her daughter, Loki says, “The Drekasál call it a soulmate spell, but that doesn't quite make sense when looking at it as a whole. So I wondered, is it actually a blood curse?”
You whip your head to your left to look at your friend, eyes widening at her question. A blood curse? Does Loki truly think that the soulmate spell might be a blood curse? On an entire species?
You can barely comprehend how many components a spell like that would need. You only know a fraction of what comes with the soulmate spell. The bits and pieces that you’ve seen or been told about. There are parts that you don’t know anything about, parts that you barely know anything about from the others who have brushed over them when speaking of their bond. The recent bonding of Lord Ivarr and Lady Tryggvadóttir has reminded you of how much you still have to learn before you come of age.
The true breadth and complexity that the soulmate spell might encapsulate begins to overwhelm you as you remember all that you know of it already. You feel a little light-headed the more you think about it.
Frigga is quiet as she rubs her thumb against the palm of her other hand. You know that gesture well. It’s a nervous, anxious gesture Frigga makes sometimes, one that Loki has picked up from her mother. Frigga is collecting the words necessary to answer Loki’s question. The sight of the gesture makes you uneasy because it means that Loki is on the right track. Loki has put together pieces you hadn’t thought of, hadn’t even seen until she pointed it out.
“The true origin of the soulmate spell is as shrouded today as it was the day it was cast. Both of you know this. Even I am in the dark about its truth,” Frigga confesses. You know that she has some capacity for clairvoyance, but it also doesn’t surprise you that the seiðkona doesn’t know the spell’s origin.
Whoever cast the spell, they cast it long before Frigga was born. The spell was studied intensely in the first decades after it was cast, and then practically discarded after a few centuries passed with no genuine answer as to its cause. Even with her ability, Frigga wouldn’t have been able to see who had cast it or why.
Frigga tilts her head, folding her hands in her lap as she casts her eyes towards her garden. “From what I know about the spell, it’s known that blood magic was a component of the larger spell that was cast. Whether that component was a blood curse or a blood spell is harder to determine.”
“What do you know about it?” you ask. “About its origin and how it works?”
“I know a little more about the spell’s origin than our scholars and archivists, and only because I understand seiðr and magic in a way most do not,” Frigga begins. She gets more comfortable on her divan by tucking her feet in and readjusting her blanket. It’s a signal to both of you that she expects this to be a longer discussion, and to get more comfortable if you’re not already.
You sit up, tucking your legs close so that they face away from Loki. You tuck the blanket around your shoulders, laying your hands across your lap beneath the blanket to keep them warm. Loki stretches her legs over the divan’s edge, legs tangled up in the blanket while she leans against you. Once the three of you are situated and comfortable, Frigga continues speaking.
“I’ve taught you that mixing the different branches of magic can be difficult, if not dangerous. Few branches mix well with others,” she says. Her words are measured and careful, emphasising a lesson that she’s repeated time and again over your training. Never mix magic branches unless you know they’re compatible, or risk the high probability of weaving together a hazardous spell. “We don’t know the origin of the spell, and we only have guesses on many of the components used to cast such a massive spell. But anyone well-trained in seiðr and magic can tell you this: the spell was cast combining blood magic and soul magic.”
An uneasy, almost fearful feeling skitters down your spine, raising the hairs on your neck and leaving goosebumps down your arms.
Blood and soul. Two branches of magic that mesh so well but whose mixtures can result in the most horrific of outcomes if done wrong. Your mind begs you to wonder if what happened to your people was an accident, or if it was the desired outcome. Both are possibilities, and both are equally chilling.
“Only Drekasál were affected by the spell. No other group was. Like they were the only ones the caster targeted,” Loki says softly. You can practically see her mind running the combinations and probabilities as she tries to shred apart the facts in her mind in search of the truth. “It affected all of them. Young and old, born and unborn, full-blooded dragon or not. Every Drekasál in Yggdrasil and beyond was affected. Even now, everyone with Drekasál blood is cursed.”
Cursed.
Before today, you’d never heard the word be applied to the spell that leaves your world in monochrome. It fits perfectly, though, for it to be called a curse instead of a spell. To be cursed is to be afflicted by something; monochromacy afflicts all Drekasál until they’ve reached maturity and touched the skin of their soulmate.
Your view of the universe shifts ever so slightly as you realise this. Even this slight shift is nothing short of violent and jarring. Your people — you yourself — were not simply bespelled accidentally by some ancient magic that was cast.
All of you were cursed.
( next chapter )
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