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1990jeevas · 3 years

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I know you posted it days ago but you said something about wanting to rant about either karl or his fanbase and its been itching at my brain. Ive no clue whats happening or what is happening at all cause no one seems to be making clear points?? Or explaining anything?

Obviously you do NOT have to talk about it im sure it might be a sore point to rant because people can get SO needlessly rude to others over it. But if you want to idk explain? Just rant? Im definetly curious what it was over or about.

The "you dont need to talk about this" is amplified by the fact i am DAYS late and you are probably over it by now.

okay hi yes im happy to talk about this but i think i should preface with two things:

1) even tho it may seem like im biased towards him or being very defensive of him im actually a super casual karl viewer and the only reason i am super defensive of him sometimes is bc we act a lot alike irl and that is mainly because of our neurodivegency. when i say a lot i mean we share traits like "annoying" stimming (jumping around, making loud noises, repeating the same phrases until everyone is sick of hearing them), the difficulty reading situations, the very obvious issues with volume control and not just bouncing from subject to subject to subject as we fucking please. basically anything you've seen karl do on stream that is Very Neurodivergent ive done the same in my own way which is why i get defensive when i see people calling him annoying or saying they dont like him, usually for these types of reasons. that being said, when i say im a very casual karl viewer, i fucking mean it. i usually only watch him when he's streaming with other ccs i like or when he's doing chill alt streams bc even with the annoying donos, he's pretty relaxing and comforting when he's just fucking around by himself and he isnt trying to get as hype as he would on a main channel stream. so yeah, it may seem like im biased and sure, i guess i am on some level, but it's not coming from a place of me hyperfixating on him or me even loving him as a cc, it's coming from me being a neurodivergent who likes him just enough to get upset when i see people basically being casually ableist towards him.

2) i dont have all the facts or even a great understanding on what the fuck has been happening recently with his "drama"...mostly bc he talked about it on his priv, which im not on, and people are gatekeeping the tweets, as they always do, and basically making you "dm to see them" (which is already a problem in and of itself bc apparently in these tweets he said he didnt want them being ss and shared, yet they are being shared thru dms over and over and over again like. at that point just stop withholding the information and post the fucking shit, you clearly dont care that he said "dont share"). additionally, most of the threads ive seen on this situation havent actually explained the initial issue, just talked about his apology (a lot of people have said "it's bad" but havent said why and with no screenshots ((i havent asked for someone to dm me them and i still havent seen them posted, which is mildly surprising, but incredibly frustrating at this point)), i only have a few basic details i can actually assess it on) or they talked about the initial issue in very vague details so um. excuse me trying to explain this now, but ill try and make it make sense with how little ive actually pieced together.

(oh, also, here's my first rant about the ableism in this fandom which is way more broad. this is a pretty different rant from that one, but they're both pretty big reasons why i hate this fandoms treatment of karl)

so basically the problems started with mr beast being apart of a charity stream that donated either to autism speaks or to a similar company, im unsure on that part. im also unsure on if the people participating in the stream actually knew of this or not bc, from what i remember, the money was being donated to a separate organization that was like. under the bad company or some shit like that, idk how stuff like that works and also i read about this shit months ago bc this originally happened months ago and just sorta came to a head recently.

anyways, i think karl was supposed to be apart of this stream but pulled out of it right before (that or these were two separate streams and karl was supposed to participate in the first but pulled out while mr beast did both?? idk. regardless karl did not actually participate, just mr beast). from there people started doing the guilt from association bullshit they always do, this was also doubled by the fact that the chris being racist stuff came out sometime around then and basically he got dragged all over twitter for "being ableist" and "supporting racists" and i cant remember if he actually apologized when this originally happened or not. i vaguely remember him apologizing about something back then but i genuinely dont know if it was this or something else.

basically that died down eventually, a good chunk of people unstanned him but him and honktwt didnt end up getting the lovely lil technotwt treatment and they still havent yet, surprisingly. good for them honestly ajsksk

but now we get to the past few weeks and apparently something happened with him "laughing at someone saying the r slur" (it was mizkif, i believe), specifically when it was directed at other people, which is a big yikes, obviously, but when karl was called out for this a lot of people kind of. made this into a situation that it wasnt bc um. basically karl didnt laugh at it, he gave a few nervous giggles, as people often do when in a situation like that (and karl specifically said he does this in the one part of his apology tweet which i did stumble upon, although it wasnt the important part of the apology thread bc why would it be) and people fucking crucified him for it. they quite literally dragged a neurodivergent man for supposedly "laughing at the r slur" when he can literally reclaim it and also he was just nervous laughing.

and this is where the situation just gets really bad because they. basically forced him to admit that he was autistic on his priv to apologize for this. i havent seen the screenshots of him saying this, but i saw people discussing it and i am frankly so fucking pissed about this because sure, it was a bad situation, and i understand people wanting an explanation, but an apology? for a neurodivergent man nervous laughing at a slur he can reclaim? and then forcing the man to admit something he literally said in that tweet he didnt want people to know which is why people were being so gatekeepy about it while also LOUDLY discussing the situation, as if that wouldnt drive MORE PEOPLE to look for screenshots and ways to get ahold of this information? and then people had the audacity to call it a "bad apology" when they had quite literally just violated his privacy by forcing him to admit something that he shouldnt have needed to share in the first place if he didnt want to, which he didnt.

and this is why im so pissed off. karl is already constantly picked at and made fun of and called annoying for his neurodivergent traits, things which he literally cant help, things which are generally harmless, and now he was forced into a situation where he can now be further picked at and made fun of and called annoying bc they forced him to admit something private instead of just understanding and accepting that he had been nervous laughing at someone using a slur he has definetly been called for his neurodivergency.

tldr of my thoughts: yes i think karl needed to address this situation, it definetly looked bad, but twitter stans have this sense of entitlement with their ccs and because of that, they consistently take it way too far and harm the people they claim to care about so dearly. we've seen it happen time and time again with dream, but this is the first time ive seen them basically force someone to out themselves to make their apology "valid" and most of them still seem to not want to accept it anyways, which just makes me feel bad for him bc now that info is out their and people are just disregarding it to continue "holding him accountable".

anyways, i think that's all i can really say on this topic rn tbh, if anyone else knows this situation better please feel free to lmk clarifications and ill add them in since, like i said, i know fuck all thanks to twitter being so goddamn hush hush about the important details while simultaneously being the loudest mfers about how much they hate karl now instead of just fucking unfollowing and moving on.

thanks for the ask and im sorry if this is confusing!! i just think this is one of those weird situations where like. i think karl deserved some criticism for what happened and how he handled it or at least he shouldve been asked to address it but that just. isnt what happened, at all. he was harrassed. karl got harrassed and because of that he handled this situation even more sloppily than he probably wouldve and exposed private info about himself that he didnt feel comfortable doing and it just. fucking sucks tbh.

#shit self #asks #karl jacobs #discourse #fandom critical #mcyt fandom critical #dsmp fandom critical #ask to tag #ableism #only reason im even saying what he said in those tweets is bc this situation literally makes no sense otherwise and basically everyone on #twt already fucking exposed this shit to people in and outside the fandom by bitching #long post #bangerz

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ravenousgf · 2 years

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Hello um I know why ppl don't like terfs I mean duh TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN but what exactly comes under radical feminism that you disagree with... genuinely curious.

hiii omg thanks for the q. hello.

a few reasons:

firstly its just most radfems are terfs. the radfem-to-terf pipeline is very real:/

radical feminism has some valid ideas about dismantling the need for women to be gender conforming + celebrating gnc women, i guess? i'll give you that

but they seem to view any and all performances of femininity as painful and confining, which is just reductive. this post is a good example of what im talking about. it has a bunch of radfems+terfs agreeing with op (easy blocklist right there) and it makes me want to throw up

radical feminism sees men as the enemy, sees feminism as men vs women when really its people vs sexism/misogyny. we all have to unlearn harmful shit the patriarchy has made us believe--women are not exempt from views like those

it leads to a lot of egregious biphobia toward bi women specifically, especially if they date a guy. self-explanatory. gotta say as a bi girl it hurts to see lesbians hate on us like!! wheres your allyship now ffs!!! bi women are not any less queer than lesbians oh my god

several radfem posts that i had the misfortune to come across see women as the "good gender" and men as the "bad gender" -- and its ridiculous because

a) theres more than two genders

b) it pushes any accountability off these women by framing them as mostly powerless victims, and

c) men are not inherently evil!!! saying that just sets low standards for men, tells women they shouldnt expect anything better. its the "woke" way of saying boys will be boys, i guess.

and i think any feminist woman that has to hear boys will be boys one more time deserves to deck anyone thats stupid enough to say that

remember when i mentioned the radfem-to-terf pipeline? yeah this leads straight to that. seeing men as evil means radfems' view of trans ppl is inherently warped. theres actually people talking about how "trans men betrayed their gender" like. fucks sake. not everything is political lol some people are just men

also since they hate men for being men they use it as an excuse to exclude trans women from their feminism/wlw positivity just bc trans women have/had penises. i dont have to talk abt why that way of seeing it is a lava lake of burned fish. we are sooo past a kettle of fish.

and isnt it funny. classing one's own gender as good, pious, empathetic, emotionally sensitive and another gender as innately bad. isnt it funny how that gives radfems a free pass to be absolutely awful people, and not allow for any self-reflection about their own choices

more often than not they either completely ignore non-binary ppl or see them as woman-lite. genderfluid, bigender ppl etc are also never really respected?? when someone thinks everyone but women is inherently awful im not sure how they'd feel about/treat anyone who isnt cis/doesnt fit into the gender binary

to summarize most of it is inherently gender essentialist bullshit

#thanks for the ask anon!! <3 #feminism #queer #bisexual #r*dfems and t*rfs dni obviously #mailboxing #ok to rb?? ig?#oh my god this got away from me i did nOt mean to write an essay about this but. *shrugs*#i do think the notallmen argument is pointless and stupid obviously #but the opposite is just as ridiculous and doesnt allow for nuance #raven talks

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nico-idc · 3 years

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random vent because i'm numb rn and feel like it

This is a vent post, ill probably talk about su!cide, self h*rm, eating disorders and depression. I’ll also cuss a lot, and things will not be censored. Also, this may seem insensitive to people experiencing any of this, sorry about that. Dont read this if youre triggered by that.

Also, this is my experience with mental health. Everyone deals with it differently.

So, If anyone doesnt know, I have depression and anxiety. And right now, I’m feeling numb as it’s often described by people with depression. But, numb isn’t a very good description. I can still feel. I’ll still smile if you tell me a joke, or if something funny is on a video. I’ll still cry if there’s something super sad. Emotion is just watered down. I feel it, but not as much as I should. Me and my boyfriend were talking, and i couldnt tell him I loved him. It’s not becuase I dont love him, but I just cant feel much of anything, so I dont want to tell him I loved him. Becuase If i did that, I felt as though I was lying. The funniest thing is, I randomly started crying. Still felt nothing, but hey, I had tears streaming down my face. Who fucking knows why.

I havent been doing to great for a while now, but this is the worst i’ve ever gotten. Ive never felt numb before. I mean, I’ve felt myself starting to go through the motions, but i’ve never gone completely numb before. And before this i’ve had a few mental breakdowns. Hell, I’ve sat in a corner twice in the past month or so doing nothing but sobbing and begging myself not to move so I dont grab something sharp and cut myself. (I did not relapse, don’t worry). and recently I completely broke down over simply eating a cereal bar, got through it, ate it. I’m good now.

Figures. That does seem to be my experience. Oh no, big bad issue one time, then magically I just talk myself out of my bullshit, and im fixed. Ha ha, yet I act like I have all these issues. I mean, I didnt even attempt to starve myself, just thought “oh, friends and family wont let me” and didnt. Had a breakdown about a year later, been fine since. Cut for a few months, went to therapy for a few months, stopped cutting. had a few breakdowns about a year or two later, then was fine. was suicidal for a while, went to therapy for a bit, was happy for months. Had breakdowns every now and then, fine now.

ha ha, first time I say alot of this is online. Figures. I’ve done that a lot too. My boyfriend has found out a bit about my depression through this site. Becuase I cant talk to my boyfriend about my shit, but hey random people on the internet! hear about my problems.

So on another note, I recently found a song that describes part of depression pretty well. It’s called “i’m not dead” by boyinaband. it’s linked below, I’ll copy paste the lyrics, and explain how I relate, and what the lyrics mean to me, becuase why not? (lyrics will be in bold)

undefined

youtube

I'm not dead

I'm not fixed, but I'm not giving up yet

Basically, this means that im still here, im still depressed, but I’m still trying to fight depression.

I'm sick of saying that I still don't have anything done

I hate telling friends I'm trying something just to give it up

I never commit to anything, I just say I’ll do something, then decide I dont want to.

I'm still unsure of my emotional state

I'm still incapable of focusing lately

I don't feel like creating

I'm tired of asking Google how to find motivation

I’ve been on break from writing for months now. tried to get back to it, lost concentration. I think this is self explanatory.

I don't think I've ever made

Something that's as good as I'm capable of

Ha, I dont put in enough effort and commitment to make something as good as possible.

I hate not having a reason to look my best

I only ever take care of myself with the intent to show the internet

I mean, I dont try to show the internet, but I only take care of myself when other people will see me.

If what made me successful was an imposed sense of stress then

I am so so glad that I hated myself

The only thing that makes me do things is extreme stress.

I didn't luck into this position

I struggle with decisions

I mean, im not in any high position, but I do struggle with decisions.

I wouldn't be my own friend

I'm too inconsistent

I’m inconsistent as hell. I’m in like 10 group chats, don't talk in any of them for months, then just show up like “hi, havent talked to you all in ages, but hi”.

Without immense pressure nothing ever gets finished

If these words make it to your ears it'll be a fucking miracle.

Yep. I went on whole rant about this on wattpad. Without pressure to do something, I don’t do it.

I'm fortunate to know more good people than most do

I wish I had more friends I could be physically close to

I dont personally have a lot of friends that dont live in my city, so the last line isnt an issue, but I do know a lot of good people”

I'm pretty good at like 20 different skill sets

At the expense of never being great at any one of them

I’m good at quite a few things. Drawing, math, even writing. But im not great at it. I’m average.

I wish this beat hit harder

I wish more syllables rhymed

I know 99 percent of people really don't mind

I dont personally relate to this, seeing as I dont make music.

I think collaborating forced me to finish things

'Cause I was terrified of wasting famous people's time

Oh yeah. Group projects would not get done if i wasnt scared of wasting my partner’s time.

I wish I could focus on what I define priority

I wish I was as grateful as I want to be

Dont really relate to these things

I wish I knew more people who were mentally stable

But if I did,

I wouldn't let them waste their time on me while I'm disabled

Oh yeah. Id love to have a friend who isnt depressed, but I wouldnt let them see that im fucked up becuase i dont wanna drag them down.

I feel alone

I know I'm not

I have a lot of friends, but I still fell alone in this world

I used to talk to lots of people.

Lately I've stopped

They didn't deserve it,

I've been a terrible friend.

But I couldn't bear to let myself become boring to them

I ignore group chats all the time. no reason. Probably shouldnt.

I don't let myself get my hopes up.

I love people who do.

Something good happens? what could go wrong? that is my thought precess.

I never know if what I say I feel is the truth

I have no damn Idea what I think, so its so hard to know what the truth in my head is.

I wish I didn't instinctively try to be less specific

So more people could relate, when they read along with the lyrics.

Not lyrics, but if i write/explain something, I immediately generalize things so its relateable.

I can be happy in the moment

I am not when I reflect

I smile watching youtube, but then I look back and think about how I wasted time.

I distract myself with gaming, waiting to get better

I hate it

Youtube will cure depression right? /s

I wanna do the most good, and prevent the most hurt

But I've gotta put on my own oxygen mask first

This is just an important phrase I try to remember when I’m down. for people who dont do well with metaphors, he’s saying that if you want to help people, you need to help yourself first.

I can't predict what I'll do.

I can never be sure

I am terrified of making promises any more

I can't face my work,

I feel sick from the word

I genuinely believe I'm capable of changing the world

Don’t relate much here, except for the more positive, upbeat tone the song takes on, and i feel that this part, the part above and everything below is dave fighting his depression.

I still think I can get better

I’m holding onto hope.

I still think I can create and get pleasure from it

I hope so, I want my art and writing to improve.

I'll keep aiming to make my emotion and my logic agree

The eternal stuggle. I always try to get the two to line up, it rarely works. I try to use logic more often though.

And become the best version of me

Always trying to improve myself.

I don't want to stop!

There’s alot this could mean. I dont want to stop creating. I dont want to stop fighting. I dont want to stop getting better. I dont want to stop living. I relate to all these things.

I’ll expand on this more later, it’s too late now for me to continue this

#cussing tw #swearing tw #tw suicide mention #tw self harm #tw eating disorder #vent post

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prismed-tears · 3 years

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imagine the dr surviving cast watching a mystery movie. they would be the WORST

trigger happy havoc

there's kirigiri who figures it out from the set-up (please. its chock full of cliches.) you don't know when byakuya figures it out, but he's just smirking at random close-ups and snorting snidely. (while he has a good idea, he's definitely just waving his dick around to keep up appearances too). makoto is the absolute worst. he's muttering the entire thing through, practically spoiling the entire movie as they go along.

there's asahina she makes for good audience, she's just vibing and gasping dramatically, giving the right reactions at the right moments. she's also practically strangling makoto lmao. there's hagakure, who makes bizarre and random guesses (conspiracy theorist) that happen to be right like.. twice (actual functioning clairvoyant, surprisingly). he also tries to fall asleep, but makoto is so damn loud. makoto and hagakure are a two-man class trial, them disproving and arguing both of their theories. touko's just there because it's teeeeechnically a date with her beloved white knight, but you bet your ass that she can enjoy good storytelling and plot devices. she's basically cinema sins as she mutters "huh. narration. cheap tactic." kirigiri is silently nodding along, and eventually, they're both discussing the cliches and the utter bullshit in it, lmao. touko doesn't quite figure out the mystery, but she's pointing out plot holes as they go.

makoto eavesdrops and uses it as truth bullets in the makeshift class trial. eventually byakuya joins in, by the halfway point, they're all drowning out the movie completely. asahina's just bummed out and wondering how did they think this was a good idea. kirigiri hasn't officially joined, but she's basically dropping hints to makoto as they go along. touko does the same thing to byakuya. hagakure cries out that it's unfair, he doesn't have a sidekick. kirigiri tries to pry out touko's knowledge of cliches, touko cries out that kirigiri's a traitor for betraying her trust by using their earlier discussion, etc etc.

by the end, asahina's just happy that the characters got what they deserve. kirigiri's right, of course, but hagakure predicts an unforeseen plot twist that's just bad writing in the movie, touko is practically ranting how the fuck did that happen, there were so many plot holes for the twist to happen, but he's right nonetheless. makoto gets it wrong, actual investigation skills doesnt work in a movie, he keeps attempting the movie to apply real life logic. and as for byakuya? he's just smirking and laughing all the way through. is he correct? is he just waving his dick around? that's the real mystery.

goodbye despair

(technically they're all surviving, but i'm just counting the awakened ones at the end of the game, because... that's a lot of people lmao.)

(+ nagito and chiaki because we need actual detectives in here, and they're barely detectives as it is.)

let's start this off with— chiaki is asleep. she's down for the count. hajime keeps trying to wake her up but she's out. that leaves nagito and hajime. hajime is just eyeing/glaring at nagito, nagito knows, he's just 💞😄🖐🍿 as for the actual mystery, hajime actually knows how to keep his mouth shut... for the most part. he's muttering out half-formed syllables at random times, or shaking his head. sometimes, nagito asks him to elaborate, and hajime reluctantly does. when nagito isn't doing that, he's watching the movie, going "huh? but..." which makes hajime go crazy. elaborate. what do you mean. but WHAT. sometimes nagito laughs at random times and hajime's practically boring his eyes into nagito's skull, wondering what the fuck he's thinking. chiaki wakes up at random times, points out random things, hajime's shaking her, what does she mean he didn't quite catch it, but she's already gone. hajime obsesses over the slurred syllable that he heard.

and then there's kazuichi, who... isn't quite following? that's the detective dude, right? what do you mean that it's a common trope in movies? that doesn't make sense, he's working for the police, why is he trying to get arrested— and there's akane, who's just cackling at the dead bodies and hollering at the crime scenes as she wolfs down her popcorn. why aren't you freaked out, fuyuhiko asks. you aren't acting like this in the game, fuyuhiko says. of course akane knows how to differentiate fiction from reality. fuyuhiko understands the sentiment, both of them go apeshit at the crime scenes, fuyuhiko wants the detective to lose because he doesn't like the police much, mafia and all. meanwhile, there's sonia, who already watched 70 other movies with practically the exact same plotline, but she's basically freaking out at every turn. she's ooohing and aaaahing at every plot twist and kazuichi is like. oh PLEASE, he already saw that coming. he stretches his arms very unsubtly, sonia primly stands up and moves ten seats away. you're right, miss sonia, this is a better spot. kazuichi says, appearing out of nowhere. sonia moves away. this is a vicious cycle.

she finds her way eventually to hajime, who's five seconds away from an aneurysm. he's trying to pick the brains of two people while trying to figure out the plot of the movie. nagito looks very strangely pleased. sonia is unfazed, randomly saying that "oh, you know x is actually stole x, right? but that's only one facet of the grand plan, which is currently in motion." hajime's about to cry. thank fuck. an actual conversational partner. they calmly swap theories, kazuichi desperately trying to join in the conversation but he really isn't keeping up. fuyuhiko barges in, basically going what the fuck are you all on, are you saying that this movie is gonna have a happy ending? hell no, it doesn't work like that, fuyuhiko should know. this is what would actually happen—

it's an actual class trial now, akane dropping in and all. she asks for clarifications every once in a while, but she doesn't really care. kazuichi is practically kissing her feet. nagito has gone 💞😄🖐🍿🧏🏼‍♂️👀💞 at this point. fuyuhiko is very much concerned. hajime doesn't see jack shit. what does hajime see, you ask? hajime sees that nagito isn't opening his mouth to share his thoughts. hajime asks him properly. nagito answers with his own question. hajime is about to pop a vein. why does he even bother. sonia calmly says that y is dying. chiaki wakes up. red bracelet. passes out again. hajime shakes her shoulders to no avail. hajime hinata is about to cry. kazuichi, out of all people, tries to calm him down. this makes him feel worse.

sonia is practically a clairvoyant as she predicts what's going to happen 5 seconds before it does. nagito goes 💞😄🖐🍿🧏🏼‍♂️👀💞 😄🖐🍿🧏🏼‍♂️👀💞 does nobody else see this, fuyuhiko says. i do, kazuichi says. they are both unable to do anything. for the very first time in a long while, hajime is blindsided in this mystery, and sonia was about to figure it out before he did. his mind is working on 5x speed now. he knows he shouldnt be competitive. its just a movie. he cant help himself. he find a red bracelet on the assistant detective. sonia doesn't say anything about it. hajime is now unlocking 50% of his brain (not literally. no kamukura in this post lmao, im not gonna put my hands in THAT).

final fight scene as the assistant tries to escape. fuyuhiko is on the top of his lungs, pointing out the many different ways he could knock out the detective. akane's joining with him. kazuichi's just joining in the fun at this point. the mystery gets solved. hajime fucking called it. sonia is genuinely caught off-guard, she was too used to movie tropes, but it's a pleasant surprise. fuyuhiko's just pissed that the detective won. "i didn't see that coming :)!" nagito says. what the fuck are you talking about, hajime says, and all traces of victory are gone. nagito says that he isn't a fan of the mystery genre. hajime's eye is twitching. he knows, deep down, nagito is truthful, but also, why does it feel like bullshit. i called it too miss sonia, kazuichi says. everyone knows that he's lying. sonia suddenly lost the ability to hear. chiaki wakes up. summarizes the case. how the fuck do you know that, you were out cold, hajime says. i was spoiled by a redditor, chiaki says as she blinks the sleep out of her eyes. hajime doesn't feel victorious at all. kazuichi, once again, sympathizes. right before hajime can storm off altogether, fuyuhiko joins in the pity pile, and hajime actually finds the hope to live again. what a hopeful sight, nagito says. no hope here, hajime realizes, just despair. akane is sitting beside 5 empty tubs of popcorn. hajime is half-tempted to shove his head in one.

(sidenote: nagito can probably solve the mystery if he tried but he really doesnt care that much + it was fun to rile hajime up lmao)

#cant believe im about to shove another nagito essay in the hashtags #dont worry im gonna put in byakuya too #antag essay really #i havent watched the danganronpa anime yet so i might be wrong #but in dr 1 there are more detectives than dr 2 #obvi theres kirigiri but im also talking about the antags #there's byakuya whos nearly as perceptive as kirigiri #and then theres nagito... who happens to be lucky enough to stumble on key facets of the case #dont get me wrong nagito is as smart as byakuya #but byakuya is clever and perceptive while nagito is cunning and resourceful #nagito and byakuyas key difference is #byakuya messed with the after of a crime scene #while nagito conducted his own crime scene even twice #sure nagito knows things from the case that hajime doesnt... but note that hajime tends to overestimate nagito and we're stuck in his head #also note that nagito saw different facets of the case than hajime #like making the crime scene in the first place then seeing mikans true nature in the hospital/seeing the movie then the final dead room #nagito had unfair advantages every time #meanwhile byakuya had the same amount of evidence as makoto excluding case two #byakuya can make use of what he sees while nagito finds ways to find more evidence #that's why i think byakuya would act exactly the same when watching a movie #because its basically just evaluating the evidence presented to you much like class trials #while nagito couldnt find a way to find more evidence or look for a workaround #is he still hella smart? not detective smart like kirigiri or byakuya #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #trigger happy havoc #super danganronpa goodbye despair #trigger happy havoc fic #goodbye despair fic #danganronpa fic #excluding his tendency to play mind games hes about the same level or barely above hajime as a detective

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breaniebree · 4 years

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A Second Chance Chapter 219

I received an amazing number of reviews on this chapter and I wanted to share them/address some of them here to show my immense appreciation for those who take the time to drop me a line or two for what I write.

Some of you have decided after this chapter you can no longer follow my story and while it saddens me, I expected it. I write first for myself and I know where I want this story to go and while I hope you all keep reading it -- I know that not everyone will continue it.

Devereaux13: I can’t. You really just did that to us? Started this story with a oh! Sirius is gonna live! But NOO u had to frick us all over. Oh my god. I love you for this story but hate you for this story. I cried more this time than the cannon one. Goddamn

Lightningscar: Huh, well, judging from the reviews, this chapter is getting you a lot of heat... personally, I though it was great in many ways, both in action, description of thoughts/feelings and great descriptions of what was going on. My biggest beef, though, gotta be this: *Ginny grabbed Luna's hand and the two of them climbed onto the wolverine's back* Ehm, it is likely it was explained in previous chapters, and if memory serves, Animagi are generally slightly larger than their natural counterparts, but... a wolverine is generally about the same size as a medium dog, shoulder height being around 30-45 cm (12-18 inches), 65–107 cm (26–42 in) long (not counting the tail). Basically, Ginny and Luna are crawling on top of a Spaniel or a Golden Retriever (on the small size) Yes, wolverines are ridiculously strong compared to their size, capable of carrying prey many times its own size... carrying dragging it. One big difference between carrying something in its powerful jaws, compared to carrying something heavy on its back. A few other minor beefs Ehm, why did Voldemort pull a Jafar on the cat (Lady G, was it?) and not outright kill it? So they got giants wandering down mid London without anyone being the wiser? I'm sure you have thought of the logistics about it :) Well, all in all, great chapter. Things have advanced rapidly compared to canon, for better (less Horcruxes) and worse (Ministry bye-bye)... though, in the latter case, it can be interpreted somewhat ambigious. Fallen as in the place (which was a given, seemed to be completely overrun suddenly... makes one wonder where all of the defence forces went, guess we will find out sooner) or if it has fallen as an orginazation like they did in canon. Curious to see what happens next. Yours sincerely, Lightningscar

Menna Taha: Ok let me just say.. Sirius was going into battle with the intent to save his son, knowing that his Fiancée who he was very much in love with was pregnant with TWINS. I mean you’d think he would be more careful than in the books where he was reckless, lonely, rusty and under house arrest in a place he hated. Also the ministry fell! Just like that! After all the preparation and the relations with the french, Bulgarian and Russian ministries AND the fae and the army they made AND the warning they recieved! What were they fucking sleeping! I love you please don’t hate me.

They were not sleeping, but they weren’t prepared like they should have been. It’s a problem that will be addressed.

HGRHfan35: Well...shit... This was a really bad idea: to read this in bed. How the blazes do you expect me to sleep, now?!

Daddy: WTF! Why end it here. WHY!

Wade Bradford: Noooooooooooooooo!

AZfangirl: i cant believe you killed sirius. this one really hurts

Ofglitterandgiggles: I’m broken

axelvaz: Started this about a week ago and I’m finally all caught up! But oh my gosh! What a cliffhanger! Sirius!

Emeralds and Rubies: I thought we might get off easy when Pettigrew fell through the veil, butI’m heartbroken for Harry and Zee, but you definitely did this whole plot point justice.

maximusrexmundi: Eeeeeehhhhh so I was with you until the very end. I just can't imagine a Voldy who is objectively in a weaker position (than in the books) being able to muster a force that could attack and defeat a FULLY prepared ministry who both knew he was coming AND had international allies

Runningtwiceasfast: I have to say I am incredibly impressed with this chapter. I am obviously sad as I was in canon when Sirius died but due to the more uplifting tone of your work overall that you would shy away from a turn like this. Sirius' death is so important in canon a it really is a turning point in the story. Obviously when Cedric died it was sad but Sirius' death made everything all the more real. Your Harry has gotten so much more of a life and childhood than canon Harry but he too is now faced with the reality of life without Sirius. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Joanne: Wow! I’m so sad. I’ve been listening to Led Zeppelin in honour of Siri. I had hoped that this part of canon would be ignored but alas. War is war. Amazing storytelling: you made us feel this loss and that takes talent. I both dread and look forward the next chapter. Will Harry take Ginny with him? Will the breakup occur? Did Remus and Tonks make it out? Will there be a funeral? So many questions! Enjoy your birthday and rest while we all grieve.

Ahugefun: I need you to undo sirius death. Im not joking He shouldnt Not with zee pregnant and harry so attached to him Its not fair to us the readers who enjoyed your story so much andddd already mourned sirius a little bit when he was kissed before you changed that.. Im hoping that you wont kill remus and tonks in the end of the war. U are your own story and if somthing happen in jkr world doesnt mean it should here!

Everything that happens in JKR’s world is what inspired me to write my story so of course it affects it. Some will be the same, some will not -- includes character death. Not everyone will die who did in canon, but some will, and some who survived in canon, will die here.

jakegarrett94: nooooooo not sirius

Leaf Ranger: ...I'm sorry...but this...this is exactly why I called fucking bullshit in the last chapter. Because of all this. This. My problem isn't the pacing of your story. My problem is all this death and carnage and bullshit happened...not because of something realistic...but because the Grey lady, for no reason, was a cryptic dumbass. That is my problem. While it'd be hard to swallow, I'd have accepted most of what happened in this chapter if there was an ACTUAL reason, in the story, as to why they weren't able to be told where the diadem was. but there wasn't. The only reason was solely because YOU wanted it that way. And it's your story, fine, but at the very least, there should be a damn good reason WHY, in the story itself, things happen the way they do. It should never...EVER be just because you, the author, want it to happen that way. because then it breaks the immersion of the reader, if something happens solely for the sake of you, the author, having it happen that way. *sighs* To be honest? I'm sorry, but this, this just is too much. You killed off Sirius and had the Ministry fall DESPITE the preparations they had already made, despite the warnings they had. That just...no. I'm sorry, but no. I'm done. Thanks for what was a pretty entertaining story up to this point, but after this? Just nope. It's not worth it. It really isn't.

Sorry to hear that, but again, it is obvious to us the readers where the diadem is, but not to them. The Grey Lady can be cryptic if she wants as she’s dead and has nothing to lose, it’s up to our heroes to find the answer. Sorry you feel it’s not worth it, thanks for reading as long as you did.

Redplayer1998: Please tell me it's a trick sirius can't be dead not after 200 chapters of building his character please no

Dutchie: Oh man Sirius died, bummer! Still a great story.

Whiton: Hey I’m a bit late but I wanted to say happy belated birthday. I love this story it’s fun it’s sad it’s thought provoking and is just a wonderful thing to read. Hope this finds you well and hope you keep writing.

AkashiyaHyrule: What the... this can't be it. What's the point of creating all that military platoons, and gathering allies-if the Ministry are just going to fall so fast? This feels waaay to early for this story plot to occur. But that's just my opinion. Hopefully you got a plan that works, and it's believable. It's also in my opinion that if Sirius Black's "death" is true (hope it's not), Zacharias should not be with anyone else or find someone else to replace him. I suspect you might do something of that nature. You haven't shy away from all the random romances that occurs, even in minor characters. Don't think I haven't notice your tendencies to ship characters! Anyways, it would be annoying, weird, not the same, awkward, and off-putting. I hope that will never happen. But then again, this your AU, so you have the final say on what you want to implement. I invested a lot of my time in this piece of fanfic, so I don't wish for it be ruined by very disagreeable choices (it's all subjective, of course). I mean no disrespect, as I know writing is a tough pastime, and you deserve to be commended for the amount of time you put into your AU. So, good luck. You deserve your break, and hopefully things will be explained Chapter 220! P.S: He's really dead, isn't he? I guess I would have to expect the death of Remus, Tonks, Fred Weasley, Colin Creevey, Lavender Brown (at least in the movies), Dumbledore, Snape, Moody, Dobby, etc, etc. P.S. Why the hell am I just naming character deaths?

Guest: There . Are . No . Words. Saz J

Guest: I, like so many other readers here, have absolutely loved the changes you have made to the story of Harry & Sirius - it has been a wonderful story that we have looked forward to reading every week. However, as much as I love your story, I am upset and disappointed that you had this last chapter play out the way it did. You have, for 218 chapters, written about great changes and strengths for Harry, all the others, and especially Sirius. To have this last chapter happen almost like the original version (book & movie) is a bit of a let-down to your earlier chapters. I will still look forward to reading your story, but maybe without the enthusiasm I have had this past year.

KittenWithAnAx: damn it! I'm crying! Why do I always hope that Sirius survive? even when I watch the movie I hope he don't die! I hate and I love you! yes A break is need! let us mourn in peace! my baby died! and I know that in two weeks I will be back! because I'm too curious and I love how you write! I will still mourning Sirius but I will be back... anyway I will go cry in the shower! have a nice two week break! (and Happy Birthday!)

Blitz90: Hello Breannie ! First of all, I wanna say that your story is awesome ! I really like many of the change that you bring to the HP world! Congrats on that ! Now, about chapter 219, nice chapter all around but I felt that the training they got change nothing but maybe because of the stress to fitgh Death Eater explain it to... maybe you can show me the light on this ? Second, the death of Sirius... I must say that I am disapointed about that. I know that you said in the beginning that it will be ultimately a Hinny story but for me, Sirius was the heart and soul of you fiction. Lets hope that he is just in shock or king of a coma !

Qarz: You put a lot of effort into this, writing so many words is nothing to sneeze at and it shows dedication. However, you don't seem to understand that actions have reactions. If you make changes in Canon then the whole story has to change to make any modicum of sense. You didn't do that and the more than 1.5m words are a waste since it led to the same place and somehow things are even worse than in said Canon. I truly pity those who read this huge story just to be disappointed.

nesciamema: Kinda disappointed by Harry's shoddy fighting since they've all been training for a while, the only one who seemed to be thinking strategically was Ginny before she was taken out. Hoping Zee doesn't miscarry and fights for the babies rights as heir to the Blacks. No way in hell should any Malfoy hold the title with what just happened.

goldenone: thank you for posting this on my birthday it was a great gift but also HOW COULD YOU IMA CRY

aj613: ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod I was hoping Sirius would be spared holy shit oh my god whyyy? Amazingly written as always, BUT WHY?! THEY WERE GONNA GET MARRIED AND HAVE BABIES AND HARRY CALLED HIM DAD I—

Rufus777: I understand why you had to kill Sirius. But it still makes me sad. Well written as always. I've been a fan since chapter one. I had forgotten about the Dursley stuff. Good on you to remind everyone of those memories. Keep up the awesome -rufus

kyle.grimm90: I am so sad that Sirius died again... I was really hoping he would survive this time. I love you story is so addictive but I wish that would have gone different. I was so excited he didn’t go through the veil I was jumping for joy and then wammm he died. I won’t stop reading but it killed me when he died.

Haillie: WHAT! OH COME ON!

yunkol76: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Thanks for the present! Now time to enjoy another GREAT chapter

coloredwords: First things first. A very happy birthday to you. I hope you have (had) a wonderful day. Second I wish you no riot reviews for your birthday. As much as I want to know what happens next, I respect you too much to shout and riot. But what a chapter! Damn. When Peter fell through the curtain I thought for a second Sirius would be safe. But alas. My last hope lies within some time turner or time room miracle. And all of a sudden we skipped right to the beginning of DH. I'm so curious to see what happens next. Have fun writing and enjoy your two weeks off. I will be here, waiting patiently.

Fruitcake49: I would rather this entire chapter be a nightmare. Why do Sirius and Harry always get the short dirty end of the stick? Such terrible childhoods and Sirius has to die leaving Harry alone. I gotta tell you if anyone other than a character in a story were put under this much pain and unhappiness they would crack and cease to function. As much as I like this story, Harry needs Sirius. I'm tired of people killing him off.

Steelcode: NO NO NO NO NO! HE WAS GOING TO GET MARRIED...HE HAS KIDS! WHAT ABOUT HARRY'S KIDS! WHAT ABOUT SIRIUS' FUTURE! PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS ANOTHER JOKE PLEASE!

X.pix.X: Happy birthday, and great chapter

Undead Gothic Princess: you are mean and a god all at once! I was on the edge of my seat the whole time reading this, then took a sigh of relief when pettigrew died cuz I thought "hey, Sirius will be fine now, he survived!" then wham! I dont think he's really dead dead though. they'll either be a way so that it was polyjuice or maybe they use a time turner. something better happen so that he just appears through the front door/hospital wing and is like "whys everyone so down when my hansome face is here?!" please let it be true, otherwise I dont think I can go on in this cruel world xxx

HarryPotterLover2422: Such an amazing chapter! I have enjoyed reading this story for quite some time now and look forward to each new chapter. I am so sad with what happened to Sirius, but I am looking forward to what’s to come! I loved the Lucius called Theo his son that was amazing! I think one of my favorite things about this story, other than how amazing it is, is how you humanize especially the Malfoy family in terms of Draco and Theo. Amazing as always! Happy belated birthday! Can’t wait for more! ️

Leo: Happy Birthday! I was so excited to see that you have written this chapter, until I read it, I can't believe you've hit us with the double whammy. This chapter both made me cry and amazed at your incredible writing skills. I hope you carry on and finish this story. However, most importantly, please, please please, please, puppy eyes please can you post the chapter. I know you said you won't but imagine puppy eyes, you know you can't say no to that. Keep us the brilliant work.

I am imagining puppy eyes, but no, I’m sorry.

GoldenPotterFan: Chapter 219 and the first time I am commenting. Started reading this story between Christmas and New Year 2018 and read all chapters up to then by the time I went back to work. Since then I have waited for updates every week. Somehow, I don't believe that Sirius is dead. Just a feeling I have. I also think Lucius might be working against Voldemort while still not quite working for the Order. I would not be surprised if he saves Sirius somehow. I cannot wait for another update. PS Happy Birthday, I hope you had a great day :)

devonleney27: HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! Thank you for the gift of this chapter, sorry I didnt get you anything!

DoodleBug78: OMFG cannot believe that! Really?!

witchyromy: mmmm i would have thought that with the time living in the magical world, and all the extra training harry has done, with sirius and remus and mischa and the rest of the group as well in the extra defense lessons that this would have gone better, they almost only used stupify and some 1st year spells. The whole thing is 80% the same as the original... i have to say i am a bit disappointed.

Sorry to hear that, but I kept what I needed to keep in there for a reason and I hope you will stick around to see that, but if not, well thanks for reading.

Guest: Welp, I’m crying. I’ve been following this story for a while, and honestly didn’t expect to be so upset about Sirius’ death, again. You’ve done wonderful work at recreating this moment. There are so many tiny complexities in this rendition and I can’t wait to see what comes next. Hoping zee’s fall didn’t hurt those babies. Thank you for your work. ️

snowball0709: Happy birthday! Hope you have a great day:) Now to the story.. HOW COULD YOU KILL SIRIUS? This story is all about his second chance! And the wedding, the twins... come on, siriusly! I really hope you have something up your sleeve and that he miraculously lives somehow. Can't wait to read the next chapter!

Lolikiano: I'm so excited you posted early! I can live with the cliffhanger as an exchange! Your stories have inspired me to write my own fanfiction and I can't thank you enough for that! I'm looking forward to your next update in two weeks! P.S. I love the "Surprise" pregnancy (which i TOTALLY called when Zee got ill!) I can't wait to read Harry's reaction!

Maggie1874: I'm so sad and disappointed that Sirius died. I was really hoping he'd live in your story.

Krazyasibe: Happy birthday! But why would you do that! I love Sirius!

alix33: No need for anyone to shoot Nott senior in his undersized wanker, Ginny will just have bat bogeys coming out of it rather painfully (and satisfactorily for us readers) in a jiffy. Dumbles had sweet fanny adams to do with the six being able to turn into animaguses. I like Lady Godiva's way of dealing with Death Eaters far better than I do any of the light side's humans' only effective for a couple of seconds stupefying. That vile bitch Bellatrix killed Sirius! I wonder which charm was used on the statue which made it keep Harry away from Dumbles and Tom Riddle junior.

wheezing-reader: Happy Birthday! Your story is probably one of my all-time favorite fics! Saying that WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK! No. This is not okay. I'm not okay with this.

Josh: Can't believe you killed Sirius! Hope something miraculous is going to happen. This is supposed to be about "A Second Chance" for him, so he needs to be alive!

Menna Taha: Happy birthday! But still how fucking dare you

jmdaz44: I know Sirius canon-ly dies in the fifth book but I was hoping you’d spare us somehow, especially after the proposal and pregnancy. Instead you were just fattening us up to be slaughtered. You’re cruel. I love the story and your writing but it hurts. It hurts. I truly hate your Bella. I should have waited to read this until this evening because now I feel like my whole day is ruined and it is just starting. I hope you’ve got something feel-good planned because I’m pretty down on this right now. I guess that parallels where we are in the story; things are getting real and nothing is for certain anymore. Hope is a dangerous thing.

alyson3il: First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you have a wonderful day, and short hiatus to get everything straight! Second of all, WHHHHYYYYYY?! WHY? Why? Y? y? WHHYYYY! I thought Sirius would be SAFE, you lured us into security with Peter, but then it just HAD to happen. I got my hopes up that it wouldn't be him, he had Zee, he had the twins on the way, HE WAS GONNA GET MARRIED! I get that things happen, BUT THIS THING DIDNT NEED TO HAPPEN, or maybe it did. You're the author, you have a plan in place, and you know what you're doing. I'll just be hurt for the next two weeks.

Miss Elyon: 1) Happy birthday dear ! All good for you! 2) Thad Nott - It was too late! (I loved that Lucy killed this son of a troll) And Wormtail ... I'm sure you will be very well received in hell! 3) Bella ... fucking crazy bitch ... something will come to you and it won't be pretty! 4) More importantly - You made me cry so fucking hard with Sirius. I went into depression until you post again. I truly love your story (although it makes me cry like a baby!). The pain at his death was more brutal than the book. I know you have something planned (I hope) and I will be reading (with a sniffling nose) the next chapter! To cure this chapter I'll read the whole story again and cry all over again ... I think I like to suffer ... kkkk See you in the next chapter ;)

chefke: o.m.f.g. omfg. I'm freaking out

xcherry91x: OMG NOOOOOO! I was hoping that Sirius wouldn’t die. I cried when I read that. The babies! They gots no daddy

SuperBossy: Not happy at all.

rolly21: I can’t believe you killed Sirius. I was really hoping that you wouldn’t.

LilyBlack18: I was so not expecting that. I was sure Sirius wouldn't die . My god, reading his death again was pure torture. At least Harry still have Zee, Remus, etc. I'm so sad, though... I really thought you wouldn't keep that part of the story, and you gave me false hope when Peter died x)

greg.is.wilson: You are evil.

Mutt N. Feathers: Yes my dear, I do trust authors. Needless pain is never inflicted by them. I made readers think I killed Sirius too, but instead had other plans. You love him too much. I live in hope. Mutt

supersandman86: Oh man! Not Sirius! He just got his life to perfection. Loving son, a fiance and a child on the way. Nice to see Wormtail redeem himself by shoving zee out of the way and Thaddeus got what he deserved. Now we just need to give Crouch and Bellend Lestrange pain that even they can't endure. This was always the dark point in the whole franchise in my opinion, where Harry felt the most hopeless. Let's see how it goes.

Sirius black411: You are so cruel...so so soooo cruel. They were going to get married...have twins and raise them.. How could you?! I can't imagine what Zee must be going through but she is still there for Harry. She will be a great mother.

Wodril: This Sirius didn't really seem like the guy to be done in while taunting. Not being hit by the killing spell, and the whole "he'll writhe in pain as he dies" spiel makes it a bit more uncertain. I never really appreciated him coming back to life after the dementors, and kinda hope, for the sake of the story, he'll stay dead this time. He will probably show up as an inferi anyway?

Jewels46: Omg... I’m crying! You’ve reduced me to tears. I know it was a very real possibility, but I hoped it wouldn’t actually come to fruition even though I understand the significance. I do really like how you wrote his death though, a much more fitting end. The bit you added with Peter had led me into a false sense of security that the lovable mutt would be safe. I just can’t even right now. Wonderful chapter. I’m going to cry some more and eagerly await the next one

Dianne: Yes I need atleast 2 weeks to emotionally reconstruct myself after this bombshell of a chapter. Deep breaths in and out. Curious about how you've brought a 7th year canon event now itself. I'm not sure I even took in everything coz I was crying so hard and couldn't read clearly, was reading this at clg and I surprised everyone by suddenly crying out loud and sobbing :'( and everyone was baffled when I said one of my most favourite characters just died painfully and I was crying for that, but they don't understand the power of reading or the power of HP thankyou for an early update and kudos you're an amazing writer!

purplevictory: That wasn't nice. I mean, happy birthday and everything, but did your present to yourself really have to be the torture of your fans? I know Sirius will be fine, I just don't know how you're planning to get there. Thank you for the early chapter. But, when your birthday celebrations are over you really ought to write "I will stop being mean to my readers" 50 times. You don't have to use a blood quill.

Write lines as punishment? I don’t have time for that, I need to write the next chapters.

xXMizz Alec VolturiXx: Noooooo I can’t believe that after all this you still killed Sirius! When his life was finally all good with babies on the way!

eternal king of fire: wow this chapter was a tear jerkier poor sirus and zee

speedsONEandONLY: No. Nope. No. I refuse to see this as a real chapter. None of this happened. I mean what was the point of letting them be happy, of getting rid of the Horcrux early. Only to fucking destroy them. To make him want to sacrafice, kill himself anyway. This chapter didn't happen. This is a "what couldve been" I doesn't make any fucking sense. Nor does it for the narrative. So, No. I refuse to think, Believe, You could be so heartless to characters/people you love. That you made us love. I don't see anyway how the story Could really go on, if this chapter actually happened. It reads more like the last Twilight movie from when Aro rips off Carlisles head. Sorry, but no.

Sorry, I guess I’m heartless. Comparing me to Twilight though, that’s heartless.

Ari Black-18: I know that this is a war, but please let Sirius escape death again, don't do this please, please make this better, tell me that Remus and Tonks somehow save him, tell me that even tho he is in bad condition he's still alive, don't leave his twins and Harry without a father, don't live Zee without her love, don't rip away Remus's brother from him, give him a second chance from the original story, let him be there with Harry at the end, the world it's already too shitty for it even to suck in a fanfic. Call me naive or delusional, but I actually believe that this is not over, I trust you enough to know that you wouldn't do this, your story it's to damn good to lose such a character just like that, so I know you are going to fix it, you're going to pull a surprise under your sleeve and make us love it so much. I believe in you, I mean you wouldn't just kill Sirius like that, not this Sirius, your Sirius. I trust you, I know you wouldn't do this. Please enjoy your break, chill, eat a lot of snacks, maybe even party a little, and then, please, bring our uncle Siri back.

Seriuslypadfoot: Hey Breanie, very well written as per usual. I hope Sirius isn’t actually dead, as this story is one of the few Sirius and Harry fics that I have thoroughly enjoyed and don’t want his character to end this way. Powerful moment with Malfoy in this chapter, but I wish he showed more backbone and fully went against the death eaters like his family wants. Again, hope Sirius doesn’t end here, the death will really hurt the story in my opinion. But this is your story so write it how you will. Thanks for your hard work!

Thank you! Malfoy doesn’t have much of a backbone, but I do have a plan for him. I’m sorry you feel that Sirius’ death hurt the story, I think it’s important for what’s next.

DetroitNate: A review? I hated this chapter. Oh the writing is great as usual, but what happened in it? I hated, loathed, detested it. I hope justice comes and comes quicker than Hinny did in this story cause it is getting too difficult to read of how these vicious bastards seem to get away with anything they want. JKR did two things I can't stand in canon kill off Sirius and Fred and now I'm wondering if this story will follow her on that pattern... I hope not, I really do.

Thank you and I promise, justice will come quicker than Hinny -- as in it won't take another 197 chapters, maybe 196, just kidding!

Paola1991: So is this death for real or is he coming back? I mean you tricked us once. I guess i kind of assumed you’d never kill him off because it was kind of a sirius fix it story? Where he gets a better life? This took me by surprise. Its primarily why i hate book 5. I thought someone else was gonna die instead. Hes the one character i would never kill i guess. Especially with zee having his kids! Not sure how i feel.

Guest: can i honestly beg something? can you please bring back sirius alive? please? i know u wont do it.. u have a plan with ur story... but as a big big fan of ur story im really really begging will u please?

Queen Raja: Wow. And I thought the book’s death was heartbreaking! Seriously, bravo. I don’t cry easily, and this chapter made me UGLY cry! Waiting until two weeks will be very hard, but I’m glad you’re able to take some much deserved time for yourself and Dusk. Happy Birthday, Breanie!

Maisie: how and why could you do this to mee im cryinggg please say its looking better in the next chapter

midnitewanderer: Dumbass went and reread it. Not gonna lie, it was a brilliant chapter but I am still this close to hunting your ass down and forcing to rewrite Sirius back in. Where’s my angry emoji when I need it. I can’t help but feel that you wrote Zee the way you have specifically for this chapter. Not only does she come into their lives and becomes the best pseudo mom ever written in any HP fanfic, she basically adopts Harry into her entire family. Sure there’s stories out there with the Weasley’s treating him as one of their own but not like this. ZEE’S ENTIRE FAMILY ADOPTS HARRY. Your sneaky ass has been prepping us from the beginning of her intro! He calls them all Grandad/Grandpa, Grandmama/Grandma, etc. so that eventually he sees that he’s never truly alone. Then enter the Weasleys, McGonagall, Rem&Tonks, Andi&Ted, Dumbles, Nev, Lu, Mione, he’s surrounded by so much love. I just know the next chapter is going to be hard for me seeing as I’m a crybaby but damn it to hell, I can’t wait. 2 whole weeks. What am I gonna do?

Thank you. I guess I was kind of sneaky like that, wasn’t I?

Zacnelson0628: Breanie... I kinda had a feeling that was going to happen. Still really sad though. I hope you kill of bellatrix in a spectacular manner.

I will do my best -- I do know exactly how it will happen and who will do it.

notthatchhavi: Oh, wow! I don't know what to say! This was a extremely well-written chapter When Lucius said that Theo was his son...it was such a moment I went ooooooohhh Well other then that..I cried I literally cried when Sirius died and yes I am still in denial I hope atleast Remus and Tonks will be okay.. Harry needs some support from one father When Sirius died.. it broke my heart.. Harry calling Sirius Dad.. and Sirius saying that Harry was the best thing ever happened to him I feel that he was not saying that just to Harry.. it was to James too because the Potters were the best thing which happened to Sirius I feel really bad for Zee...being pregnant with your fiancée's children and then him dying is not an easy thing to go through But the most importantly...this chapter made me cry I have read many fanfictions.. but i have never cried.. they might have been super good.. but has never made me cry I think the ability for a writer to make the reader both and laugh and cry is extremely important and difficult...I think by this story you have proven yourself as a damn good writer

Having Harry call him dad was vital and every time I tried to change it, I came back to it.

josht1987: Just know, that I am very mad at you you right now. We'll see what happens after the next one. An extremely well written chapter, but... You know what you did.

Daerwin45: not Sirus oh please he is so important it was going so good im sorry i am just a fan and it has been such a great story i did not mean to question your reason. i just was enjoying harrys and Sirus' relationship.

PotterBlondie: Oh my god, I wasn’t expecting Sirius to die! Or for anything to go this badly in one chapter! I hope he gets to escape death again? Pretty please? I hope you had a wonderful Birthday!

midnitewanderer: Nope. I’m done. I’m done. I AM FUCKING DONE! I will have no more toilet tissue by the end of the night. My chicken is currently burning on the stovetop. My emotions are freaking fried right now. Not only was he... UGH! I can’t. I literally can’t right now. I know this is fiction and whatnot, but my heart is hurting. How in the hell did I get so emotionally invested in this damned story?! Now, I’m going to remove my burning chicken and cry in a corner.

scrappy8: OMG what a chapter Poor Sirius is gone

Covley Hatake: Please let Sirius some how had lived. I like cheered when Pettigrew went in the veil instead and then that. You like ripped my heart out with Sirius. Like come on. Still good story but wanted Sirius to be there for the happy ending. I picture Harry though being the best big brother to those babies and protecting the hell out of Zee and the babies. Betting she tells Harry soon as well. Also question if he is dead what does that mean for them claim the Black title? With out him to claim them they would be seen as illegitimate and as the deal with Malfoy was made he could take it? curious on that one.

akshutalankar: well this is a really bad chapter to be posted on birthday... plz give us next soon... make Sirius alive pretty please

shooter124: O my god, I am crying. Please don’t take Sirius from us, Zee needs him and so does Harry! However that death scene was crazy good. I’m hoping that you have this elaborate plan as to why Sirius had to fake his death or something. Please please please say he is still alive, Sirius and Zee have not finished their story yet and Remus needs his best friend. This is my favourite story I have read on FF, you are a fantastic writer and I get excited every time you post!

Wolf's scream: Nice set of Bat-Bogeys, Miss Weasley! Yeah, a ticked-off wolverine is NOT something I'd prefer to cross. Greengrass is there? That's ... something I was not expecting. Yeah, Theo's advice to smash the Prophecy seems pretty sound to me. (With the possible caveat that certain DEs might lose whatever semblance of control that they have...) Seriously, Hermione? That's not a "baby." And in any case, Petrification is not intrinsically harmful: it merely decreases the probability that the Petrified one will pose a danger to himself or others. Sheesh. Somebody needs to get her priorities sorted. :-) I'm a little surprised that the DEs that trapped the teenagers in the Brain Room were using less-than-lethal spells. Granted, I'm rather glad that they did, but I don't understand whys. Well..! Lucy IS good for something, I guess... It's rather a pity that Harry hadn't smashed the Prophecy and grabbed another as a decoy. :-} Oh! What would happen if Harry were to chuck the Prophecy through the arch...? Ah - excellent move, Lady G! :-) Remus was dueling Dolohov? But Harry had Petrified Dolohov just a bit ago... maybe another DE released him, or the spell wore off? So - the Rat did something useful before departing... BTW, a fairly effective dueling technique might be to blast the floor/ground out from under one's opponent. Or merely make it incapable of supporting the opponent's weight. Especially if one is in a structure and not on the bottom floor. Well, at least there's no ambiguity at all regarding Sirius's fate. :-/ Well, laughing at Bella is a pretty good way to ensure that she's even more off-balance, yeah. It's good that Dumbledore addresses Tom by his given name (vs. the nom de guerre that he made up)

Guest: You cant do this Sirius can't be dead! Please let him live! P.S. happy Birthday Seriously though bring Sirius back.

dhnysports88: for the love of god tell me they planned to fake his death, DON'T DO THIS TO US

minerdude: Wow this is a great story, even if you killed Sirius, although with the next chapter I hope we discover thinking he was dead was part of the fog of war. If Sirius is dead it was truly well written to get our guard down by sending Peter though the veil

Old-fashionedAnglophile: What. The. ACTUAL. HELL?! Are you trying to destroy us? And you're making us wait for it? Damn your excellent and captivating writing. I'll be waiting for the next chapter with bated breath.

Thank you (I think).

littlehughesy: WHY? Why must you keep killing off characters that I love!? It's like Game of Thrones all over again! I get that it is canon for Sirius to die at the Ministry, but for fuck's sake can't Harry just have a little less suffering for once? For the love of God, if you kill Remus and Tonks in this story, I am done. Just done. I cannot handle my emotions right now. Okay, venting over. As much as I don't like it, your story is still fantastic. And hey, cheers for the early update and happy birthday!

Atea1793: You... are... absolutely... evil... YOU KILLED SIRIUS, KILLED DEADALUS DIGGLE, LEFT ZAHIRA A PREGNANT WIDOW BEFORE SHE EVEN GOT MARRIED, MAY HAVE LEFT HARRY AN ORPHAN AGAIN, AND HAD THE MINISTRY FALL A WHOLE YEAR EARLIER THAN IN CANON?! I'M STARTING TO THINK YOU'RE AS SICK IN THE HEAD AS VOLDEMORT IS! Excuse me while I spend these next two weeks gathering a mob to go after your twisted ass. The Death Eaters will seem like playground bullies when we come for you...

Guest: Omg. Omg. You actually killed Sirius. I cried. I honestly would have rather see Remus die, but maybe that’s what makes this story stronger and more intense. I definitely need 2 weeks to process this. Poor Zee and poor Harry.

lcwintersoldier: Goddamit how could you kill Sirius :'(

LifeonEarth: Oh come on you hand to bring Marauder into this. This hurts.

I’m sorry, but I thought Marauder deserved to be in Harry’s thoughts.

White Squirrel: Why does everyone feel the need to kill off Sirius even when there's good reason for events to play out differently? Honestly, this whole section felt like it wasn't up to your usual standards. You copied so much from the book, even when they had different people there and a different plan. It would have made more sense and wouldn't have been that hard to choreograph a different battle sequence.

I felt that it was important to keep it similar which I will explain later on, but of course you’re entitled to your opinion.

love reading20613: Oh god no please no

alistark94: What an ending! I gotta say I'm suprised you still killed off Sirius. Great story by the way!

Anixara: Wow, I find this story just in time for the latest chapter to be THAT. God damn it. Now I have to figure out if waiting for the next chapter is even worth it with how much that fucked with my emotions.

Breaniefan: This was so unrepresentative of your characters to just shove them back into JK's exact plot. This Harry would never have been so impulsive, Ginny and Theo would have escaped, the well trained Order would have been quicker on the mark and more effective. This was just lazy writing, taking so much of the original story and just shoehorning it in - I'm so disappointed! Also why the fuck would you kill Sirius? The whole point of fanfic is to FIX those stupid character deaths from the original, not go and do it again. I've followed this story from the start and loved it, but if Sirius is still dead next chapter... You've lost a reader.

I’m sorry that I’ve lost a reader over this, but as I said, I knew he would die from the first chapter. Harry would be that impulsive because Ginny was kidnapped and there's no way he wouldn't try to save her. She and Theo may have been able to escape but not unscathed. I don’t believe that fan fiction is made to “fix” stupid character deaths because the original story is amazing and I’m getting the chance to play with the characters we all love so much and Sirius had a second chance on life and he lived it.

Adelite: AAAAH. aaAAAH. I came here for a BETTER WORLD and you killed SIRIUS BLACK of ALL PEOPLE and just when HE LEARNED HE IS HAVING TWINS?!?? I swear to god AaaaaahahahAH the original didn’t hurt this bad I read 219 chapters in 2 weeks just to be welcomed with this I am absolutely gonna riot and also what happened to Tonks? P.S if you kill Rem, Tonks and Fred in the battle of Hogwarts I will personally pee your pants

Pegg7: I can not believe it!!It has been chapter that i'm saying something bad was about to happen, but not this bad!!!!!The only think i can do now is wait and speculate: you had wormtail die through the veil and not Padfoot, so, maybe, there is a chance, i have hope! By the way, the chapter itselff is good, nothing less to say... I'm going to have a lot of speculation as how the thing are going to be next, so i'll dread this 2 next weeks Love you (a little less) as always

lovelyellie: that really hurt my feelings damn

phoenixmaiden13 (Lady Phoenix): I so hate this chapter, yet it was so good. Still can't believe you killed off Sirius, I thought he was safe for a minute but I guess not. At least they will have a body to bury. I'm going to go cry now.

They will have a body to bury and I hope that chapter makes you all feel the emotion as much as I did writing it.

MrToddWilkins: But he is still alive! The blood-Harry’s right!

Bosma18: Happy birthday but why did you have to kill Sirius he was one of my most favorite characters he and zee where supposed to marry and live happily ever after I wanted Sirius to die of old age while being surrounded by his grand children

Jmcglynn522: You killed him.... you killed him... he just found out that Zee was preggers, with twins(FYI: Taking antibiotic potions and birth control potions = Twins. Mine just turned 20.).And there’s no do over this time....no time turner.... just... you killed Sirius Black.I love your story, I’m bawling hysterically right now, but I don’t like you very much at the moment.... you killed him....why??? (Happy parts: Ginny preforming the “bat bogey hex” on Thaddeus’s dick for Theo! Lucius killing Thaddeus for hurting Theo, “his son!”. Ron touching “Uranus”. Lady G not dying. Zee not dying. And Pettigrew’s death was to kind.) And Happy Birthday!!!(Even though I may be traumatized for life.)

Pettigrew’s death may have been too kind but I think it was an important turning point for him in that he saved Zee for Sirius.

LordSmidgeon: I'm hoping so much all this was pushed in his head by Voldemort after the brain room to mess with his psyche. I'm hoping he comes to and they are just getting him away from the veil. Or it was all what he saw in the veil. Like honestly, if you have to have someone die please dont kill Sirius (at least not yet).

Siriuslover: Im in denial. He’s not dead. How could you kill Sirius!! He was the main reason I’ve loved reading this!! Ugh please take it back I’m so sad

kellykat1889: Your evil.

RiverFord: I think I’m going to need two weeks just to recover from this. I’ve absolutely loved this story so far but you literally just killed off my favorite character and I can’t even...

archiveScrapper: Happy birthday! I'm a long time reader and first time reviewer, but I finally felt like I had something to say (plus wishing you a happy birthday is important). I'm actually weirdly... proud? of you for keeping Sirius's death at this point in the story. In the books it's kind of the point at which Harry has to officially grow up, and realize that even though he's a kid, he's the center of a really vicious war where his actions have very real consequences. And he has no one left to fully protect him either. Even in a fic where Sirius matters a whole lot more, and Harry is gonna be a thousand times more hurt by his death, that moment of change, and of Harry accepting his inevitable place in this fight is really important? So I just wanted to say that as much as I'm really sad about Sirius being gone, because I really did enjoy him getting to be happy for once, i think it's an important moment for the story and I'm really happy that it's one that you kept even in a version of this story that's a lot happier than the original story ever was. I've been wondering how you were gonna handle this moment for a long time now, and although I'm definitely gonna go cry about Sirius's death now, I'm really happy with what you decided to do.

xXQueenOfDragonsXx: NONONONONONONOSIRIUS! I WANT TO HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW BUT I CANT ‘T

TheOneWithWritersBlock: Please tell me this is a dream. Please tell me that Sirius didn't actually die. Please tell me that the ministry hasn't actually fallen. Please tell me it's all one big giant nightmare.

leflemmeenrose: Happy birthday!A break is definitely needed. I'm gonna spend it crying until you upload the next chapter haha. Take your time.

Zerius: Yay! Pettigrew's dead!I am struggling so hard not to say I hate you. I don't actually, but why did you feel the need to kill off Sirius?! He was Harry's family, he had Zee, he was in love, he had such an amazing life and now... Now he's never going to see Harry and Ginny get married, he won't see his children grow up... And Dedalus Diggle? What was the meaning of his death? Why did he have to die? And so cruelly... I love the new battle though. I've got a love/hate relationship with this chapter. Great job, can't wait to see what happens next. Please heal Sirius! Maybe he's not actually dead? Maybe there's a cure? Please say there's a cure! Again, amazing job! Update soon! I love it!

LaureWithAnE: I don’t really like you at the moment. But, happy birthday! How is it, after 17 years, the death of Sirius Black still makes me cry?

PurpleLotus (Person of Earth): Why did you have to kill Sirius? I just can't even process everything that happened. You made me cry and my heart is broken for Harry and Zee and the twins. I don't know what is going to happen and it's killing me. The ministry fallen already...I have no words for the desolation I feel. You have emotionally annihilated me, so congratulations. I understand the need for a break, I will be waiting impatiently for the next update. Happy Birthday and Happy Writing!

#a second chance #breanie #a second chance spoilers #harry potter fanfiction #fanfiction review

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mare-sanguis · 5 years

Text

Winston x Monty, Part VII

Clay and his friend met up at Monets. He wanted to inform them about what happened- unaware that Charlie and Tyler were involved in it too.

The tension was undeniable heavy between them all. All this was finally over but they still had this weird feeling that maybe one day the truth would come out. So they all were extremely careful.

"So why are we here? And whats up with this dark bad mood?" Zach said, side-eying Alex.

"Justin and I have to tell you guys something." Clay answered.

"What?"

"Well... Justin and I got a visit from somebody yesterday."

"Who?" Everyone in the round asked.

Justin sighed.

"Montys ex-lover. Winston."

All went silent. Alex whispered something along the line that this doesnt mean anything good.

Charlie nervously looked around, as well as Tyler.

"Guess you two arent the only one. He visited us too yesterday."

"What the heck?" Alex looked around.

"Why would he visit you guys?" Jessica asked, out of curiosity.

Clay shrugged. "I dont know- Justin doesnt know and I bet these two dont know either."

"But what did he tell you Charlie?"

"I dont know exactly. It was all a little cryptic. He said something along the line that its wrong to frame a dead person... he not literally said I should feel bad for it but it sounded like it. He implied it."

"Oh sounds like hes seeking for revenge? What about you Tyler?"

"Winston told me that he wanted to turn himself in. Because he realised that what he did was wrong."

Justin was silent this whole conversation. His mind drifted away. Away to what Winston had told him about Monty. So he didnt pay any attention to his friends.

"Justin- hey are you listening ?" Clays voice brought him out of his daydreams.

"Yeah- no- what?"

"You didnt told me what he told you. You just said he talked to you."

Justin shook his head.

"Nothingwe dont know already. That he had a pretty bad childhood."

Clay wasnt buying it, Justin knew.

Charlie took a deep breath.

"Hey uhm... theres something I wantedto show you. Winston gave it to me. This..." he placed an envelope on the table. "Its... its just weird."

Behind them, they could hear the door open up.

"Might if I join the loser club ? Clay invited me too and I thought I shouldnt miss the opportunity to see my old friends."

Scott said, pointing out the word "friends" as if it was something toxic. He than sat down on the empty chair at the end of the table.

Alex already looked pissed.

"What up with the mood over here? Somebody died again? As far as I can count all losers are together." He smiled, obviously joking around.

"No. Cut it with your bad jokes. We were in the middle of something." Alex said annoyed.

"Well. Continue. I wont interrupt." He shrugged and leaned back.

"Its not funny." Alex said again.

"Do I look like I want to joke around?"

They stared at each other for some seconds.

"Yeah well I know what youre thinking."

"Guys come on... stop this bullshit. We're here for something else." Clay raised his voice like the good mom he was.

Charlie opened up the envelope and pulled out one single uno reverse card.

"Oh? What'cha got there Charlie? This game doesnt work with just one card."

Scott scoffed- he just thought that this whole situation was kinda funny.

"Scott damn- shut the fuck up."

"Sorry." He shut up and started to analyze everyones reaction. Wow how he enjoyed seeing them confused like this.

"This was the only thing he gave me."

Scott just shook his head. Funny how they didnt know the one who gave Winston this card was sitting in front of them. No other than himself. Funny that this whole table was full of hypocrites. Luckily he never saw himself as one of their friends so he wasnt snitching on their back. He chuckled, a bit to loud. It didnt get unnoticed.

"Whats so funny huh?" Zach sounded like he was about to pick up a fight. Just because Alex was annoyed by Scotts presence.

"Maybe all of you are overreacting. Maybe hes just making fun of you."

"Scott... why the fuck are you even involved in this?" This was the first time Tony said something.

"Because Clay told me."

"Oh wow. Great." Jessica rolled her eyes.

"Dont treat me like one of your enemies- I did stupid things too but I'm sorry. I told you already. I tried to help to find the polaroid. I dont tell anyone."

"What ever."

"I wonder..." Justin started. "Did he visited you too?"

"Winston? No. Why would he?"

"Because it seems like hes hunting everyone down who was involed in the drama surrounding Bryce or friends with Monty. And you two were pretty close."

"No. As I said. I doubt that he even knows about me."

Alex smiled for some brief seconds.

"How does it feel knowing hes dead?"

Scott looked straight at him.

"Wow Alex- chill." Zach laid a hand on his shoulder.

"No. I want to know- how does it feel to know he did something like that? Still being in contact with him after all. How does it feel knowing hes dead?"

Scott, still wearing a poker face leaned forward.

"I dont know why the fuck your so salty at me but... how does it feel to have blood on your hands? Knowing that you killed someone? Pinning it on someone else just because you dont want to pay the price?"

Now it was Clays turn to put a hand on Scotts shoulder.

"Ssshhh calm down. Both. For gods sake please."

"You know I thought you guys were decent human beings. What a waste of time- get your shit together." He stood up.

"Monty was a friend. And what he did was wrong. But that doesnt mean I cant be mad."

He then left the cafe.

"Will he shut up?" Alex sounded concerned.

"Yeah. He will" Clay just simply said.

___

It was late afternoon as they left Monets and went separate ways.

"Theres something you didnt tell me. You're hiding something."

"About what?"

"About what Winston told you."

"I already said everything."

"Didnt we swore not to have any secrets?"

Justin sighed.

"Look. We dragged someone who was already dead into something he never did and probably never could have done. Yes- I... together with Ani- planned this whole thing but know... I think it was wrong. But I wont turn anyone in."

"You didnt answer my question. What was it he told you?"

"Why are you so desperate to find out?"

"Because I'm trying to understand."

Justin sighed again.

"Winston is fucking mad at us for pinning the murdern on Monty. Thats why he does it. He loved him."

"Yeah but why would he love him? After all he did?"

"Clay how the hell should I know? I cant look into Winstons head but I guess he saw something in Monty we never did."

"Cant imagine that."

"Yeah and just because you cant means that no one else can? Winston told me about Montys childhood. That his father had a pretty creepy friend- this friend knew about Montys little secret. And took advantage of it. Winston told me that Monty was sexually abused too. After the assembly you damn well know that this is a touchy subject for me."

Clay just looked at him- he knew that Justin wasnt finished.

"I mean... it was wrong doing this to Tyler.... but wasnt it also wrong for a father to treat his son like this just because hes different and not living up his expectations? Is it ok for a kid to endure this all? That his father never cared? Monty was his own greatest enemy. Like Winston said he was much more weaker than me. I turned to drugs, eating up my pain. He let his anger free. So that everyone around him suffered to. It doesnt excuse his shitty behavior towards us all and the attack on Tyler... I just wonder if he would have beem able to change? With a better surrounding, better friends. A supporting family. You cant compare him to Bryce... or me. It doesnt work like that."

"Justin... you regret covering up what Jess and Alex did?"

"I dont know - I'm torn in two... I feel bad. Kinda. You understand?"

"I do..."

They went home together.

While Scott and Winston met at the police station.

Scott greeted Winston.

"You made it."

"Well sure- its imporant to tell the truth." Winston said.

"You know Clay invited me over to a meet up. I went. And I sae whom you gave the card to. Why Charlie?"

"... He deserved it. He snitched behind his back. And he was the last on my list anyway. He needed to see that everything comes back with a little bit more backfire."

Scott chuckled.

"What is this list even about?"

"I visited everyone who stood near him- more or less. Clay knew about Montys and my thing. Justin was friends with him. Charlie was the only person je trusted, Tyler his victim. And I visited Deputy Standall too. Just to clarify some things. Thought about visiting Alex and Jessica too but then I realised that they're going to be in trouble soon enough."

They walked towards the door.

"When we're finished there... Theres another thing I have to tell you..." Winston whispered.

#winston williams #monty de la cruz #scott reed #13 reasons why #13rw #13 reasons why season 3 #13rw s3 #13rw season 3 #13rw season 3 spoiler #13rw s3 spoiler #13 reasons why season 3 spoiler #one shot #fanfiction

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badluckbadger · 5 years

Text

Just some thoughts id like to share with anyone who may need to hear it.

1. People who claim nothing is their fault are much more frequently at fault than theyd let anyone believe. They want you to feel bad for them so they can justify shitty behaviors with how they were treated before.

2. People who believe kindness "gets you nowhere" are simply people who believe treating others with the bare minimum amount of respect is enough reason for them to be loved/respected by whoever theyre after. The whole "good guys finish last" bullshit where people think they deserve a cookie for being decent to someone else. Being nice is the standard. You should love someone for more reasons than the fact that theyre good to you. And they shouldnt expect you to love them only because theyre decent to you.

3. People who claim to need things to happen in order to work on aspects of themselves have no genuine intention of doing so. If you need to work on yourself, youll do it regardless of whether or not you get the "perfect" circumstances. Because the truth is is that there are no perfect circumstances. You want to be better for yourself or you dont. Circumstances only change the size of your steps, not whether you move at all.

4. Its not possible to "fix" anyone. Don't try. Even if they think you can or want you to do so. Thats not how it works. You can help someone if they want your help and thats about it. Its never on you to make someone different than who they are, and its never on you to bear the full weight of their transitions either.

5. Someone who is good for you, either as a friend or a partner, is someone who will make the effort to learn from their mistakes and do better for the both of you when things arent right. This doesnt mean they should ever bend over backwards for you- it just means that they genuinely listen and address your concerns. If youre dealing with the same issue a year or five or ten later, chances are shit isnt gonna get better, no matter how much you want it to.

6. Youre never obligated to accept poor treatment from someone because theyve done nice things for you in the past. A nice gesture is not payment in exchange for abusive/manipulative/toxic behavior. Shitty people frequently use grand gestures to attempt to lure you back in when they feel like theyre losing you. Alternatively, they can try to make you feel like you should be grateful for totally mundane behavior.

7. You havent wasted your life by being around the wrong person/people. Yes it feels that way. Yes it sucks to give up something that you have invested in so heavily. But you will be better off without them and youll move on, equipped with new knowledge. Dont let the duration of your commitment to something deter you from breaking away from it.

8. Whatever it is thats making you feel scared to try another route is just a temporary feeling. Youre just getting in your own head. You know youre not happy with where you are, so dont stay there. It may not be easy to find a new path, but stumbling along a new experience is far better than laying helplessly in a bad one.

9. Reach out. People can offer you perspective on your situation that you may not see. Sometimes you agree with their perspective but need convincing to keep going. Do what you have to do. Dont keep your struggle to yourself. You arent as selfish or as sensitive as youve been convinced you are.

10. Theres better people out there. Even if youve met a million awful pieces of shit that make you wish the world would end, theres still good people. Even if they dont restore your faith in humanity, even just having one good person to hang out with makes everything a little better.

#just a conversation that prompted some thoughts #things i wish i understood and knew years ago #but it is what it is

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zombeamik · 5 years

Text

OKAY LIVE REACTION TO RIKAS BACKSTORY DLC HERE WE GO

okay so spoilers again lol

okay so i thought when you played the scret ending 1? riaks backstory was free? e-e

HAHA NVM WAS JUST THE FIRST EPISODE time to go buy 330 hour glasses ANYWAYS

okay seriosuly thing for people who dont like Rika, for what she did. You should honestly play her backstory.. it really could clear some things up for you, and it may chnage your mind, just abit hopefully.

you shouldnt just say no to story, just because you don’t like her.

Of course, if you really dont want to read it fine, but it can probably really help.

Episode 1

this god lady sounds like Jaehee tbh SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OH Mina is Rikas real name :3 How cute already liking this. WONT BE ABLE TO AFFORD THE RETS OF IT THOUGH

Mina/Rika, they really didnt deserve what happened to them.

HOLY FCUK I HONESTLY THOUGHT MIKA WAS FUCKING RIKA BUT IT WAS THE OTHER WAY AROUND OKAY OR AM I GETTING TI MIXED UP?

okay gotta buy 330 hours glasses but THEN ILL CONTINUE MY REACTION

OKAY IM BACK TO REACT AND TO CRY OKAY COOL

the game didnt like me buying more hourglasses o it decided to messwith mu audio.

okay had to restart my phone THANKS ANOTHER SETBACK

Episode 2

okay so, i like Mika back here. BUT WHAT I SAW IN THE V ROUTE, thats not cool Mika. you were kinda okay? you were already a little manipulative to a three year old. “My little sister, should always have short hair” how about you shut up. Twins? All she ever wated was to be loved and not taken away from her “Twin”, Maybe thats why she cared so much for Saeran and Saeyoung before she ddi what she did. Mika no, no. You’re the one who put those awful things in Minas/Rikas mind ugh okay i go back to not liking her, that was very fast.

Okay grown up Rika/Mina, okay rika i like you when you arent doing ur creepy eyes. UGH honestly im so mad at Mika, honestly the fuck. CUTE PICTURES OF V AND RIKA YES okay i know, i like V and all but tbh they were cute together.

excuse me V you shouldve said THATS WHY I ADORE UR SUN BC THATS ALL SHE NEEDED TO HEAR, she didnt want to hear that you loved her because of her darkness. She wnated someone to love her, or show her a tiny bit of warmth so she could find the light inside her. So, so far, Mika is the one who introducded her to this “darkness” SO UNLESS RIKAS BACKSTORY CAN GIVE ME A REASON TO NOT DISLIKE MIKA AND FORGIVE HER I WILL GLADLY TAKE IT.

Episode 3

THATS THE FIRST THING I OPEN UP TO?

UR SO CREEPY, WHY DID GOD SEND YOU? THE FUCK WHAT KIND OF ASSHOLE ADOPTIVE PARENTS ARE YOU

sorry what?

Mina, Serena

Im glad she went with Rika, I like Mina, but Rika ive gotten used to it. Maybe she’ll go back to Mina one day?

Oh. Okay i dont like Rika/Mina/Serena’s Mother. and the pastor, no wonder she started a cult, i mena look at his outfit. WHAT KIND OF SHITTY PASTOR ARE YOU

NO WONDER SHE STARTED A FUCKING CULT, YOU ARE ALL DOUCHEBAGSSSSSSSS

“NEEDS ALOT OF PRAYERS” how about you shut up, man, Pastor my fucking ass, Devil worshipper is more fucking likely.

excuse me pastor, your voice in my ears IS FUCKING CREEPY DO YOU MIND

UR LIKE A PERVERT

“ your body has grown, is it satan?” HOW ABOUT YOU MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND LEAVE HER ALONE

yep, i fully understamd now why she created a cult. okay im only on 3 of 8 but still

EXCUSE ME LADY, YOUR DAUGHTER CLEARLY SAID NOT O GOING WITH THE PASTOR LEARN SOME FUCKING MANNERS AND DONT BE A RUDE BITCH

I THOUGHT WE WERE LOOKING FOR HER FATHER?

WHY DID WE FIND MIKA IM SO CONFUSED

oh, her dads the head of the hospital, okay. all good.

YEAH YOU TELL HIM MIKA

YEAH THANK YOU NURSE KICK HIM OUT P[LEASE

WEEE THANKS NURSE

she just wnated to be free from hatred?

BUT NOBODY WOULD ALLOW HER, THEY KEPT PUSHING HER FURTHER INTO THE DARKNESS

okay gone back to not liking Mika just abit

oh.

now i dont know?

Episode 4

THATS NOT WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR EITHER

Mika had cacner in her eyes.

Mika lived a while though, so her dad must have paid the bills.

MIKA LIED ABOUT THE PHONE NUMBER AND THE ADRESS THE FCUK

Did she really grow up at the orphange? PROBABLY FUCKING NOT

I was just feeling sad for her, but then she did that.

WAIT RIKA HONEY NO ITS NOT YOUR FAULT OF WHAT HAPPENED.

Oh.

so she made V blind because of that?

PUPPY

okay no, no new puppy then.

MS. HEAD OF THE RFA

no v, shes brainwashed him.

THE BOTANICAL GARDEN

No V you should focus on saeyoung because ive turned saeran into somebody i regret now.

Rika no.

you didnt have to shut everyone out,

he asked you to leave?

Ugh im so confused?

WELL MIKA WAS RIGHT TEACHER THEY WERE BAD PARENTS

GROSS PASTOR PLEASE DONT SAY LITTLE LABM AROUND MINA, THATS CREEPY

Oh.

right yeah, she only separated saeran and saeyoung because of their parents.

Mika, why.

she didnt have to lie about the orphanage, and then why you said you made Rika think it was all her fault, and then ugh

A FUCKING PUPPY

WAIT SALLY

SHUT UP MOTHER, ITS A CUTE DOG AND WE BOTH LOVE IT

YEAH SALLY YOU GROWL AT HER

Oh.

I KNEW IT

the pastor is a creep, a pervert, child molester

EXCUSE ME MOTHER?

THATS THE FUCKING RITUAL TO GET SATAN OUT OF HER?

EXCUSE ME THAT IS FUCKING ILLEGAL PASTOR OR NOT

dont fucking freak out, you told her to leave because you didnt want sally in the house and now your like THE FUCK YOU GOING SERENA HUH? ugh

Rika no, that isnt the right choice.

EXCUS ME MIKA DIED?

THEN WHO THE FUCK WAS THERE WHEN RIKA WAS OLDER

DID MIKA LIE ABOUT DYING?

SALLY UR SO CUTE

oh bad momesnt to mention sally being cute.

listen, all rika every wanted was to love someone.

defo a cult, Believer’s? This some sort of god cult.

WAIT NO SALLY DONT CRY

oh she was 16.

oh dear.

well that was a roller coaster

Episode 5

great she started working a church, and became a nun. even more fantastic

OH SWEET HER NAME IS FINALLY RIKA

I do like the names Mina and Serena but still Rika.

well wjat she thought she was doing was okay. Not wanting anyone to be abandoned?

she just uh turned it into something alot bigger than helping out at a church

She only treated people the way she did was because she didnt know how loving parents acted, so what she thought she was doing was right to her, since she didnt know anything else.

okay so shes 18.

and she wnated to shoe people her light instesd fo her darkness

AN THEN SHE MEETS V

OH THE CLOUD PHOTO, man when she looked at it she said Mother, because thats the first thing that came to mind.

SHE JUST WNATED TO BE A SUN BUT DIDNT KNOW HOW

SAEYOUNG

WHY DOES TINY SAEYOUNG SOUND LIKE BIG SAEYOUNG

yeah she thought that of she didnt protect saeyoung he’d rot just like Mika.

heh

Oh.

she could see her and mIka in him so she grew attached

she onyl wanted to do good

Rika the Angel but she thought of herself as Rika the Devil ok

Episode 6

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSUNG

okay so she didnt want yoosung to find out about her darkness

Rika honey, its okay. he still would ahve loved you.

Okay so Oh got it okay.

Yoosung is the son of rikas mothers sister,

SHE WAS SO WORRIED HE’D BE RUINED IF HE STAYED CLOSE

RIKA NO DONT OUT YOURSELF DOWN

YOU’RE EQUAL TO YOOSUNG D:

REUSING PHOTOS ARENT YOU CHERITZ OK

BUT HYE V

she couldnt feel anything? well V is both light and dark rika.

man v still doesnt know rikas real name BUT WE DOOOOO

episode 7

Man v ur kinda smooth with words but at the same time like you just met.

V MAKE UP UR FUCKING MIND

okay so she modelled for V and then when she was doing that they didnt talk much? man V atleast tell her she did good. how rude.

ZENNNN

v the fuck you didnt even say goodbye, just IM GONNA GO GRAB MY CAMERA AND THEN FCUKING WALK OFF

V no.

you didnt even compliment her or anything, you just said heres lets take pictures but we aint gonna talk and thn when your done, i aint gonna say you did well or anything like that.

V you kinda an asshole.

NO SALLY

okay shes fine.

V was just curious about me because im not like the rest”

kinda sounds like it,

YES RIKA YOU DO DESERVE THE SUN HONEY

YOU ARE THE SUN I THOUGHT WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THIS

oh so it was Mina that wanted to be loved.

well shes still a prt of you rika, so that measn you wanted to be loved aswell.

okay so she stopped visiting V

V came to visit her

make up your fuckingmind V

“Heathen Cult”

well yeah basically.

JUMIN

V WHAT THE FUCK

“ can you show me how dark you are?”

HOW ABOUT A FUCKING NO

SHE CLEARLYT SAID NO V

YOU BETTER NOT FUCKING PUSH HER TO SHOW YOU

okay all good

she told V everything

and she scared she;ll end up like Mika.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ANOTHER V AND RIKA PHOTO

HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGS

WAIT HONEY DONT CRY

MINA YEEE

LAST EPISODE

wow thats fast.

okay so saeyoung went abroad and then she stopped disagreeing when saeren was saved

then she met Jumin a year later, sweet.

HAPPY ENDING

WELL YOU HAVE ONE NOW RIKA UR HAPPY AND YEEE

okay so then she got her aparement

and then she dint know if things to turn to the worst or the best

well id say the worst but you did save alot of people.

you may have brainwashed them but they would ahve probably died without her help.

MIKA UR STILL ALIVE

UR BLIND THO

YUP OKAY GOT IT

MIKA DIDNT TURST V SO RIKA WAS LIKE OK YEAH I DONT EITHER BC UR ALWAYSSSSSS RIGHT

right.

Mina believed her.

so she agreed.

SO CUTE

WHAT

MIKA NO

USE SAERAN AND YRUN HIM INTO A HACKER

HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT UP MIKA

IM BACK TO NOT LIKING YOU

MINA

YOU

YOU MANIPULATED MINA INTO DOING YOUR DIRTY WORK

SHE TRUSTED AND YOU

AND YOU USED HER

“I must not use that boy. I must save him”

WELL THANK YOU RIKA

what kind of bullshit is that.

WELL YOU SHOULD DEFIENTLY TELL V BUT WHEN MIKA SAY NO YOU GOTTA AGREE BECAUSE MINA TRUSTS HER

EXCUS EME RIKA

MINA WAS THE LIGHT

mika is the dark

mika just please shut up.

okay she died. thats sad but like

NOT AFTER WHAT YOU DID

CUTE PHOTO OF RIKA YES

Thoughts

thst was um

one crazy ride

AND I WAS THERE FOR IT

so glad i read it.

even if you dont like rika at all

please do

its worth it.

as you can see my thoughts were jumbled in the actual live reaction

but it makes alot of sense kind aof?

im to lazy to write a review so thats the best you’re gonna get.

Its really good, to actually understand why Rika/Mina/Serena turned out the way she was.

i mena i already forgave her in the V ending

but even though she did those bad things, if someone just loved her and didnt feeed her with horrible views of the world, she was still a caring girl even though the darkness took a hold of her,

Im not glad of what happened to her, but if it didnt we would have never even met anyone. so as mucha s i hate to say it, im glad of what happened, and 100% glad we could help her through with it.

Okay, well that was fun.

#mystic messenger #rika dlc #rika #V #saeran #saeyoung #spoilers

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