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#(okay maybe less about Joker but definitely Selina)
flubnuggetpurple · 2 days
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Dove Cameron’s Alchemical album is so fucking bat coded I feel like a conspiracy theorist.
(This went off the rails at one point, so WARNING: vague mentions of sexual assault and being drugged without consent)
First song: Lethal Woman.
Cass, all over, right? The bridge is “she walks like a saint, floats like an angel, sharp like a knife under the table”
c o m e o n
Second song: Still.
“Man on the screen, they only see whatever you want them to see” and “Supernova self-erasing, hourglass is always draining”
Could be either Tim or Bruce, but I lean toward Tim because of “how dare you, dare me to love you, if you jump I will too” because whenever Tim decides he loves someone, he’s the ride or die, ends of the earth type, even if they don’t even know who he is. A) how and why he became Robin in the first place, B) The Cloning Thing, C) an argument could be made for the Captain Boomerang thing (but now that I think of it, I think I’m mostly basing this off fanon oh well ontotgenextone).
Song Three: Breakfast.
I will admit out the gate that this one’s a reach, so I’m just going to leave Selina here.
Song Four: Sand.
For this I’m thinking Tim or Jason, for different reasons.
For Tim;
“I saw the end when we began, you couldn’t love the way I can, I tried to bargain with the stars, for more than half your heart but you have more pieces of me than the dessert has sand, and I have less pieces of you than I could hold in my hand” and “our love’s misaligned, ‘cause you’re on my mind every night, I stretch out the time, and now I know why.”
I’m just making it obvious I read the Red Robin run, aren’t I?
For Jason:
“What's worse, being wanted but not loved, or loved but not wanted? What's worse, hearing what you wanna hear, or hearing what's honest?” And “What hurts, is the one thing that you wanna do, is the one thing that you shouldn’t do”
Pre-death Jason, but like, right after the Garzonas thing.
Song five: White Glove.
Okay hear me out.
This is part one of the Dick Grayson saga; the persona he shows to the public. This is Richie Wayne. This is every honeypot mission he went on too young, every woman he’s had to seduce for information (it’s one hundred percent happened before don’t fight me) every source of sexual trauma (that one I’m ninety percent sure is canon) that keeps him up at night.
And this guy’s been a vigilante for over twenty years, he can absolutely recognize drugs by sight, smell, and how they feel when he’s too late to notice something slipped in his drink. He’s felt nearly every strain of fear toxin and every one of Ivy’s pollens. If anyone knows their drugs it’s pretty boy Richie Wayne and Robin.
Song six: God’s Game
This one I’m definitely taking some lines out of context, but for Jason, “Just a boy with a man's face, playin' God's game” is when he’s taking over Crime Alley, pit-mad and trigger happy. “I prepare with so much care, I was runnin', it was stunnin', I am desperate from delusions, not much of a solution, never knowin' what the truth is, oh, God” is when hid plans start to fall apart, when Bruce slits his throat with a batarang, when eventually the pit-madness eventually starts to wear off and he realizes what all he did to Tim, who was a child at the time, not to mention Robin.
He nearly became what the Joker was to him to the next Robin, and I feel like at some point that would occur to him.
Song seven: Boyfriend.
(…Admittedly, I don’t think this one has any grounding in canon and if it does, feel free to educate me.)
So, obviously I could mention Kate Kane at this point, but I know basically nothing about her, so instead I’m going to talk about Steph.
So Steph has definitely had some shitty experiences with guys, right? Like, her dad to begin with, but also the guy who got her pregnant (at like fourteen? Maybe I’m just sheltered, but I don’t think anything about that relationship was heathy—again, I haven’t read many of the comics, so correct me if I’m wrong), then Tim, which, I love him as a character, but didn’t he date her in the mask for like, months, and I have some vague recollections of some dickish things he said (i know i know i need to read more comics)—whatever. Men are shitty.
I have a scene in my head. Like, Steph’s in college, at a bar with friends or something, maybe it’s an under cover op, idk, and there’s this girl she’s been lowkey watching all night. She doesn’t quite know why, but she just keeps catching her eye, and okay, it’s not like she’s never questioned her sexuality, she knows Cass. There have been Extensive conversations with Babs on the subject.
Anyway, so at some point, there’s obviously some sort of argument between the girl and the guy she came with and the girl’s crying, and Steph just Can’t Handle That.
She goes up to her, comforts her, makes a new friend, listens to the whole story.
And at some point, she has the thought.
“I could be a better boyfriend than him.”
She doesn’t necessarily do anything about it that night, but now that she’s had the thought, it won’t leave her alone.
Yeah. So. Maybe I’ll write that story later.
Song eight (last song): FRAGILE THINGS.
Dick Grayson part two; So your mentor (dad) just died, leaving you an angry murder child, another one hanging on by a thread after losing eighty percent of his support system, a grieving butler (grandfather), and a mantle the size of the Most Dangerous City in America. Any direction you move is going to hurt someone, and one kid is more likely to snap and murder people than the other, and hey, if you have to be Batman anyway, might as well let your brilliant kid brother be Nightwing, right? Except, whoops, you forgot to mention that last part and now Timmy thinks you just replaced him without telling him and fuck you knew you were forgetting something and now there’s a goddamned imposter Bruce and—
“Love is like a house of fragile things, where hearts can be broken as easy as antiques, and now there’s glass all shattered at my feet, what we built together, you left in smithereens.”
Anyway. This got kind of incoherent (or maybe it was from the start?)
I accidentally added a poll at the bottom and can’t figure out how to remove it, so.
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blupenguinz · 6 months
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Is it bad that I’m un-ironically shipping BatCatJokes now?
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ecoamerica · 25 days
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alto-tenure · 9 months
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okay. let's re-establish our characters:
main bat-cast:
TIM DRAKE as BATMAN
STEPHANIE BROWN as ROBIN
BARBARA GORDON as ORACLE
CASSANDRA CAIN as HERSELF
DUKE THOMAS as THE SIGNAL
other people that are in Gotham:
JASON TODD as RED HOOD
ROSE WILSON as HERSELF? (possibly Ravager. uncertain)
KATE KANE as BATWOMAN
BERNARD DOWD as HIMSELF
DARCY THOMAS as SPARROW
characters who are Not In Gotham for at least part of the story but are still fairly important somewhere:
DAMIAN WAYNE as NIGHTWING
DICK GRAYSON as ???
HELENA BERTINELLI as HUNTRESS
BRUCE WAYNE as BATMAN
TEAM SECTION
NOT-SO-YOUNG JUSTICE (less a team and more a friend group):
CASSIE SANDSMARK as SANDSTORM
KON-EL as SUPERNOVA
BART ALLEN as IMPULSE
CISSIE KING-JONES as HERSELF
ANITA FITE as EMPRESS
GRETA and SLOBO may or may not be around too
THE BIRDS OF PREY:
as mentioned earlier, HELENA and BABS
DINAH LANCE as BLACK CANARY
um. I do not know the Birds of Prey well enough to say who might be on a team with these three approximately five years after the current state of canon. Steph and/or Cass would probably go here if not for Extenuating Circumstances. Would Rose be invited to the team, given that she’s on better terms with some of the other vigilantes? No clue.
OTHER CHARACTERS THAT SHOULD MAYBE, PROBABLY AT LEAST CAMEO:
Clark, Diana, other characters that are theoretically Bruce's friends and would be sad if he died
idk a few of the Gotham rogues. Scarecrow? Selina? Ivy? Harley? The Penguin? I'm not including the Joker I don't like him enough for that
OTHER CHARACTERS I CAN'T FIGURE OUT BUT WANT TO INCLUDE:
GHOSTMAKER
yeah that's it
some explanations under the cut
there are definitely more characters operating from Gotham. I brought up some in some of my earlier posts about this AU. I just don't think Batman matters enough to them to justify their inclusion (Xanthe) or I don't know enough about them to say accurately what they would be doing (Claire Clover).
I don't think Sandstorm is a terrible name for Cassie. Yes Bart plays Darude a lot. There are some regrets. It is still too cool to give up.
Supernova!Kon is just cool. There are already two Supermen. We can chill. Kon should get a new identity to himself.
Anita is back in the vigilante business because at this point the kids are...definitely old enough to be in school full-time. It is still pretty chaotic. Greta I know has made a recent ish appearance. Slobo is still stuck in comics limbo I think? But the whole squad is here. YJ is primarily there to be Tim’s friends, so their hero selves don't matter as much, but they (esp the other core 4 members) are who Tim calls for backup first outside the Bats because it simply would not occur to him to call Bruce's friends when he needs help. He has his own friends.
I really want Khoa to be in this because the personality clashes between him and Tim would be insane. Alas I can't find a way to fit him in. I don't think Batman Inc is sustainable especially with Khoa as the leader...Khoa is not a teamup guy. This is like. The basis of his personality clashes with Tim. But I think the future of Batman Inc should be that Khoa pisses off everyone on his team to the point where he's left alone.
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androxys · 1 year
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Ranking my WIPs based on how likely they are to ever get finished (ft. what they're actually called in my Drive)
Very Likely:
Ghost Dragon: VERY likely. Is actually likely to be a chapter or two longer than I thought, because I just keep writing it.
Firecrackers: I only have one vignette left for this story, but it's the hardest one so far. Still, I don't foresee myself not finishing it.
Hello Baby, Hello World: My love letter to Stephanie Brown, taking the world tour though her life. I can't wait to get to this one.
Ken and Barbie: The sequel to Can't Prove it. I know how it starts, and I know how it ends, and I even know some of the twists and turns in the meantime. I just need to flesh out the middle.
Morality Bug: Jean-Paul Valley vs. the Religion of Crime on a boat. Need I say more?
Oracle Year One: My love letter to Barbara Gordon. I plotted out her first year recovering and becoming Oracle, and am folding in a blend of Earth-One, New Earth, and Infinite Frontier elements.
The Word as Heard: A reworking of Final Crisis to make it less... like that. Now with more New Gods!
Timber Rename: The explicit third part of Couldn't Look Away (Even If I Wanted). Tim and Bernard's first time having sex together. Still trying to work out a good title.
Tim and Dick Puberty Fic: Tim goes to Dick as his "trusted adult" after health class. Dick does not feel like an adult, nor should he be Tim's trusted one. Brother acquisition ensues.
Okay this got long so the less certain WIPs are all under the cut
Maybe Someday:
0 For More Options: I'd like to get back to this one, honestly, but don't know when. This was an OC-centric fic about a guy who works for an emergency assistance fund in Gotham, based on my own experience working in nonprofits.
Cui Bono: A Checkmate story! I'd like to get back into this one, honestly. Sasha and the gang goes up against a meta whose power is to open any lock. I would say I'm probably going to write it someday, I just need more practice drafting political thrillers.
Bodyodyodyody: This title was not final. A Timber date.
Educations from Cinema: Another Timber date fic. Probably won't return to this one either--there was no plot, just them being cute. This one and Body were both very important to the process of learning how to write What Does the Fourth of July Mean to You, to be fair.
JLA Year One: My take on a JLA Year One story, combining some of my favorite elements from the different Years One.
Shaggy Dogs: I don't write Joker stories. I haven't figured out how to do one that seems interesting to me. This was Bruce and Robin!Dick when a woman is killed with all the trademarks of the Joker... but the man himself is in Arkham. As I review it now, I realize how Devil's Advocate it is.
Stupid Games, Stupid Prizes: A DickBabs fic where Barbara goes toe to toe with the City Council. Focused on civilian heroics and the power of local government.
Sweater Weather: Bernard finds out about Tim. Tim takes it badly and flees to the beach. Bernard follows. I can definitely see how working on this primed me for Fourth of July. I may go back if I want to practice more angsty style writing.
Tim's Day Off: I'd like to return here, but I don't know what to make him do. Maybe the plot will be people forcing him to actually take it easy on his day off. Or things keep coming up.
JLA Charity Gala: My Met Gala for the Justice League. I want to write gala shenanigans. I want to write a paragraph long description of a dress. I just don't know when I'll have time.
Graveyard Darlings:
(Cat)Walking Wayne Manor: On the other hand, very unlikely, unless I post just an excerpt. This one was supposed to be my architecture tour of Wayne Manor with a Selina POV, but it kept not working. On the plus side, though, it helped me refine my Manor floorplan.
April is the Cruelest Month: This one needs to go to the graveyard--it was an attempt for me to write 100 words for every day in April, with a Dick POV. I definitely didn't do that, but the idea behind this fic found its way into the DNA for my Oracle Year One WIP
Christmas in June: This fic taught me that I'm not meant for angst fic as a genre. This one was supposed to be about the first dinner party Barbara throws after getting out of the hospital, but Bruce not coming because he's too caught up trying to stop DitF. It just didn't come together, and won't.
Coffee Shop AU: This one was just Steph being a college student. Never going to write more than the one paragraph, but it was good practice for Steph's voice.
Delphi on Rooftops: This was the last conversation Dick and Barbara had before Dick moved to New York and Barbara retired Batgirl. I couldn't make it long enough to feel like it went anywhere, but it may find life as a flashback sequence in another, longer fic.
Mark the Spot: A Red X vs. the Titans fic. I have a specific headcanon of Red X as a sort of mantle passed down thief to thief, because I wanted Dick and Tim to go up against two generations of Red X with their respective generations of Titans. This idea may still come back, but not from this fic.
Red and Redder: See above. Same deal, Red X fic, wasn't working.
Grief: A fic about Tim after Bruce's not-funeral. Would potentially tie into the Lazarus Civil War idea I had, but I didn't get more than a sentence into it.
Water Lilies: Tim and Barbara go swimming, talk about life. Was set just before War Games, but I couldn't get any of it to feel natural.
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someguyiguess · 2 years
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okay so I didn't come into the movie with high hopes for two reasons:
1. the trailer made it look like the movie was going to have a very prevalent romance between batman and selina
2. it also was very clearly going in a very dark direction and I'm usually not super into very dark movies
but I came out of it having very high opinions of it.
here are some highlights in the order I think of them: (I tried to avoid too much spoilers)
even calling the romance a subplot is generous it was pretty much all subtext and very easy to ignore and with zero effect on the movie. it wouldn't be a huge stretch to say that bats is not in love with selena. thank god for that. give me more movies with less prevalent romance please and thank you
the plot was good and had good twists
a lot of it was focused on the detective aspect of batman which was great I mean I love the superhero stuff too but the detective work is integral to who batman is and they made that clear
the plot had a lot to do with weeding out corruption which is great and awesome
the cinematography was very good especially the lighting. great work from the camera crews.
while the movie was definitely dark it made me like it which is pretty cool
the acting all around seemed pretty good to me
I'm sure there's lots more that I talked about with my friends after the movie that I'm leaving out. I liked it a lot.
The score was really good I loved it
I loved that the riddler was the villain because a) I'm tired of the joker and b) I like puzzles and riddles.
it was very much not pro-cop propaganda (one of the main points was how corrupt the police force was)
it showed that even good people can make mistakes. love me some nuance.
it showed that there is more to most stories and that reacting immediately without weighing the whole story is not a great plan
my one gripe was that the portrayal of the riddler near the end of the movie seemed to me to be kind of ableist.
other notes:
the movie definitely contains scenes of flashing lights so I would not recommend viewing if you are prone to photosensitivity.
the movie is about 3 hours long so plan accordingly
very good movie but please maybe wait until after opening weekend to see it? it's gonna be rough for us theater workers this weekend.
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organabanana · 3 years
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Leaves of three, let it be [1/?] || harlivy
Chapters: 1/?
Fandom: DCU (Comics)DCUHarley Quinn (Comics)Harley Quinn (Cartoon 2019)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence
Relationships: Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel
Characters: Pamela Isley, Harleen Quinzel, Selina Kyle
Additional Tags: Mentions of alcohol, mentions of batman fucking bats, most of this is straight up idiocy tbh, i just finished watching the cartoon so everyone swears like a sailor i'm sorry, rated for (ahem) happenings later on, ivy/harley/catwoman frenemies
Series: Part 1 of the Cliché a Week 2021 series
Summary:
Aided by a terrible hangover and a severe lack of impulse control, Harley accidentally drinks an unknown substance at Ivy's apartment and suddenly remembers why Ivy goes by Poison Ivy in her professional life. Luckily for Harley, she's immune to Ivy's toxins. Unluckily for Harley, she may not be immune to her love pheromones, and turning into a human-plant hybrid is not her idea of a good time.
Telling Ivy so she can give her an antidote may seem like the obvious course of action, but there are very few things Harley hates more than disappointing Ivy with her poor decision-making skills. Besides, like Selina said, if she'd drunk pheromones she'd be in love with Ivy by now, right?
And Harley Quinn is absolutely not in love with her best friend.
Notes:
This was (loosely) inspired by Prompt #1104 by @promptsforthestrugglingauthor: “Hey, do you know if potions expire?” “I think it depends on the potion. Why?” “Well, I was really hungover this morning and grabbed the wrong glass and I feel super weird right now.” And "Everyone knows they’re dating except them” from the Cliché A Week Challenge by @montocalypse. The plan is for this to be 4-5 chapters at most BUT I'm not ready to commit to a number just yet so we'll see how that goes!
[ao3 link]
Harley wakes up with a pounding headache that makes her wonder if someone stole her bat and tried to crack her skull with it last night. 
"Ughhh..." she groans, squeezing her eyes shut. Her mouth feels like sandpaper. Her throat feels like... like sandpaper. Listen: she's not in any kind of mood for elaborate, imaginative similes right now. Everything is pain and/or sandpaper. Deal with it.
"Fuck me." It comes out in a whiny, pathetic little voice, and Harley is almost more pissed off about that than about the hangover itself. Where is she, anyway? She forces herself to sort of... perceive  the world around her without moving a muscle or opening her eyes, which may not be the best approach but it works anyway because she totally knows Ive's apartment by smell.
As friends do.
Once that's settled, and she knows she's in fact safe (how could she not be? She's at Ivy's!) Harley moves her right hand and feels around for the bedside table, but apparently she didn't climb into her usual side of the bed (friends have sides of their friends' beds, obviously) because what she feels on her right side is soft and warm and definitely not a bedside table.
"Sorry." She mumbles, affectionately patting Ivy's ass before turning over to the other side and trying again. She does find a table this time, and she nearly cries in relief when she finds a little water bottle waiting for her parched lips to drink.
Score.
It's only when she's downed the whole thing that she realizes two things:
One, that did not  taste like water.
And two, there is a reason Pam goes professionally by Poison  Ivy.
"Shit," Harley stage-whispers, blue eyes now wide open as she stares at the empty bottle in her hand, "shit, shit, shit."
Harley knows she's not dying. She knows she's immune to toxins, and she's cuddled the fuck out of Ivy (as friends do) on enough occasions to know she doesn't break out in hives at Ivy's touch. But the thing about Ivy is, she's kind of an overachiever. There aren't just toxins to worry about. Harley could be about to turn into a fern or something, and nobody could do anything to prevent it.
Well, except Pam.
But you know what? Considering the kind of mood Ivy gets in when Harley makes a less than stellar choice, she's gonna risk turning into a plant rather than waking her up.
"Morning, sunshine." Selina walks -- nay, prances  -- into the bedroom looking flawless as always, which is pretty fucking unfair considering her presence at Ivy's can only mean she was there for whatever hangover-causing shenanigans they all happened to get into last night. But of course, Selina Kyle is above looking like shit while hungover. 
" Selina ," Harley all but hisses (which is fitting, considering Selina's... you know), showing her the empty bottle, "I fucked up."
"When do you not  fuck up, Harley?" It comes off as both smug and somehow charming, which is, again, pretty fucking unfair. "What did you do this time?"
Harley shows her the empty bottle once again, shaking it slightly like she cannot  believe Selina isn't getting the gravity of the situation right away.
"What? I don't get it-- ohh ." Selina lets out a quiet chuckle that sounds almost like a purr. "Yeah, you fucked up."
"Dammit, Selina! What if I turn into a fucking succulent?"
"Oh come on, don't be dramatic. What color was it?"
Harley stares at her. "Don't you think I'd have known not to drink it if I'd looked at it?"
"I mean, I tend to assume people look at things  before putting them in their mouth. But you did  fuck Joker, so..."
"Hurtful." A beat. "Fair, yes, but still. Hurtful."
As if on cue, Ivy rolls over in her sleep, draping her arm across Harley's lap. Harley smiles, momentarily forgetting the bottle and its contents and the potential result of her having drunk them, because Ivy is just such a good friend. Protecting her from Selina's... well. Selina-ness even in her sleep.
"You guys need some privacy?"
Harley doesn't stop gently tracing the vines on the back of Ivy's hand, but she does look away from soft green skin to shoot Selina a teasing look. "Aw, does someone need scritches? Here, pussy pussy..."
Selina rolls her eyes. "Fine. Turn into a fucking sequoia for all I care. At least you'll be good for climbing."
The soft movements of Harley's fingers stop as Selina's words fully sink in. "Wh- what?" Harley's voice sounds a bit deflated, like one of those sad clown balloons after a sad balloon fart.
"I'm just saying. Pheromones and chill forever as a human-tree abomination? Kind of her signature move."
Harley just stares at Selina, horrified at the prospect of spending the rest of her life as a brain-dead tree and trying (and failing) to come up with a plausible reason why there is no way Ivy's pheromones were in that bottle.
"Anyway!" Selina sighs, stretching her arms up over her head. "I should get going. I have cats to feed."
"Wait. Wait!" Harley stage-whispers, and she's suddenly extremely thankful for Ivy sleeping like a log.
Heh. Like a log .
"You can't leave me, Selina! What if you're right?"
"Oh, come on, kitten," Selina says over her shoulder, already on the way to the door, "if it was pheromones you'd be in love with her by now."
The sound of the door slamming shut behind Selina is enough to finally wake Ivy, and Harley feels her best friend's arms tighten around her as Ivy stretches awake.
"Mmmhey, Harls." Ivy mumbles, voice rough and heavy with sleep as she moves even closer to Harley. 
Normally, Harley would've just sunk back into the most comfortable bed ever (there's a reason she rarely sleeps in her own!) and gone in for a round of lazy morning cuddles. She'd have basked in the smell of Ivy in the morning (freshly cut grass sparkling with dew drops) which is so different from the floral notes of Ivy at any other time of the day. She'd have pressed a kiss or two to Ivy's warm skin, felt her lips tingle with the sweet taste of a poison she's very much immune to, and maybe even fallen back to sleep listening to Ivy's heartbeat and the soft rhythm of her breaths.
You know. As friends do.
But today, thanks to Selina (the fact that nobody forced Harley to drink that stupid bottle is irrelevant, of course), Harley can't relax. She stiffens, even, becoming virtually un-snuggable and making Ivy fully open her eyes to give her a questioning look.
"You okay?"
"Yeah. Yeah, of course, Ive!" The enthusiasm is as fake as her smile, and the way Ivy's eyes narrow tells her it's been very much noticed. "Bit hungover, that's all."
It takes a couple of seconds for Ivy to speak. Like she's pondering whether to mention there's never been a hangover bad enough to keep Harley from getting her cuddle on or to just let it go for now. Harley's delighted to see the second option win in the end.
"Want me to give you something for the headache?"
"Nope!" Harley's on her feet in two seconds flat, practically jumping away from Ivy's warm body and her warm eyes and the warm offer of some nice natural drugs. "Thanks, though. You're sweet as pie, butter...fly."
"Butterfly." Ivy deadpans from the bed, looking more and more like she's mere seconds away from researching actual mental health facilities in Gotham (Arkham does not  count).
"Buttercup doesn't rhyme with pie. Listen, I should go. I have so much to do. There are-- well, you know! Havoc won't wreak itself, right? Gotham needs me."
"To... wreak havoc."
" Pre cisely. Gonna wreak it real good. You know me! Won't settle for a half-wroken havoc." 
"Wro... ken?"
"Oh, for sure, for sure!" What is she even saying? Harley grabs her bat and swings it a little like she's holding a purse and not a weapon, but thankfully she doesn't break anything in Ivy's room, which is great. "Text ya later, yeah?"
Ivy looks like she's struggling to even begin to process everything that's happened in the five minutes she's been awake. And honestly, Harley's grateful for it. She hasn't noticed the missing bottle, and she's not forcing Harley to stay and answer questions, so it's a win/win/win situation if you ask her. You know... other than the potential mutant tree issue.
"Okay!" Harley grins. "Good talk. Bye, Red. Love ya!"
Shit . 
Harley freezes for a moment. She's told Ivy she loves her before. Of course she has! She loves Ive, and Ivy loves her. They're pretty vocal about that. But today isn't just any other day. She always loves Ivy as a friend, of course. As her best friend she adores and would absolutely kill and die for. The most important person in her life. The one person who's ever made Harley feel safe and loved and appreciated unconditionally. She loves Ivy in a way that makes her feel like her heart is a bit too big for her ribcage and sometimes it gets so crowded in there she's afraid she may pop a rib out of its socket or something, but then Ivy holds her and everything settles again.
You know. A friendly kind of love.
But does she love  Ivy? Harley looks at her hands like she's expecting a few leaves to have sprouted there already. 
"Harley. Seriously, are you okay?"
Ivy's voice snaps her out of her funk, and Harley knows she needs to get out before she's forced into a whole conversation about this thing. 
"Peachy keen, Pam-a-lamb." Harley forces herself to walk towards the door without looking back, just in case. Just in case suddenly Ivy's surrounded by a pink fog of love, or whatever the fuck people see when they look at her while under the influence of her pheromones. I mean, she can't look even more  beautiful than she does normally, right? That's not even possible. So it must be like... a heart emoji filter or something. She really  doesn't want to find out. "Talk later!"
***
Harley looks at the melting cheese on her third egg sandwich like she's expecting it to hold the meaning of life. Or, at the very least, an answer to today's big conundrum. Is she or is she not turning into a tree?
And sure. Sure! She could ask Pam. This would be solved immediately, she knows. She could just ask Pam what was in the bottle and confess she's drunk it and just... put up with her mood for a while. No big deal! Except she really fucking hates disappointing Ivy, you know? When she gets all... cold and detached, and feels more like lettuce than lush tropical foliage. 
Listen, trust her, okay? Sad salad buffet lettuce Ivy is just the fucking worst.
So she takes a bite of her sandwich and tells herself whatever she drank can't have been anything too dangerous. It's been a couple hours now, so she should've felt some kind of effect, right? She should be feeling a bit plant-y, at the very least. Maybe a bit nauseous or something. But she feels fine. 
Well-- not fine , fine. She's still kinda rattled, but that's Selina's fault.
She's fine.
***
"Are you sure you're up for this?"
Ivy lets Selina handle the entry point (you'd think Gotham millionaires would've given up on skylights by now) and looks at Harley with a mixture of concern and distrust in her eyes. She clearly hasn't forgotten about their conversation in the morning.
"I'm fine!" Harley swings her bat around just to loosen up her bat-swinging muscles. She's fine. Not a plant, not in a love fog, not in any way dying. Totally fine. And , most importantly, not dealing with limp lettuce Ive. "It was just a hangover."
Ivy's eyes narrow just enough to make it crystal clear how little she trusts Harley right now, but for once Selina Kyle makes Harley's life easier instead of harder when she speaks.
"Ladies. This is a truly riveting conversation, but I have shit to do.”
“Like fucking a bat-fucking bat?” It may be a cheap shot, but it makes Ivy stiffle a laugh, and Harley kinda thinks that makes it the best joke ever.
But Selina simply cocks an eyebrow at Harley. “Are you sure you want to discuss regrettable sexual partners?”
Ouch. “Fair enough,” Harley concedes, already jumping through the hole Selina’s cut in the glass, “come on, we have an oil tycoon to kill.”
“Not an oil tycoon, Harls.” Ivy glides down on a vine, looking all majestic like some kind of forest nymph, and Harley simply has to stare and smile because how can she not? Look at her friend! “He’s been using an experimental fuel that causes—“
“Does it matter?” Selina sighs like even interrupting Ivy is exhausting, plucking a shiny gold ornament from a nearby table and making Harley wonder (honestly, not for the first time) if she just keeps shiny trinkets hidden in her catsuit like a magician to make it seem like she’s finding them everywhere. “Guy’s loaded.”
“It matters to me, Selina. Not all of us have the moral compass of a magpie.”
Harley giggles at Ivy’s joke. You know what? It may not even have been a real joke, because Ivy’s sense of humor is not exactly her best quality. But it was funny anyway.
“And if it matters to Ive, it matters to moi .” Harley points at herself with her bat and winks at her best friend, and honestly, who the hell cares what this guy does, exactly? Maybe he’s single-handedly destroying the Amazon, or maybe he just happens to walk through the grass instead of using the little paths when making his way across the park. Whatever it is, it’s important to Ivy. And if it’s important to Ivy, it’s important to Harley. And if it’s important to Ivy in a way that makes her smile like she does when Harley winks at her? Well, then this is absolutely Harley’s top fucking priority.
Things get interesting as soon as they turn a corner and step onto the plush carpet of the experimental fuel (hey, she actually listens when Ivy speaks) tycoon's private wing. And you know what? Harley's delighted to hear the alarms go off and a bunch of goons crawl out from their hidey holes like buff armed cockroaches. She knows Ivy and Selina prefer the whole... well, you know. In and out, clean and easy kind of approach to murder and robbery, respectively. But Harley's an action gal. She has the energy to burn and a bat to swing, and most of all, she has shit to not think about.
So she's delighted when this guy's goons happen to be relatively okayish at fighting, which is much more than can be said for most men she fights in this city. 
"I'll go deal with him before he can escape," Ivy says, already walking towards the door to his office. "You guys all right out here?" 
"We're great ." Selina says in that tone she has where she pretends she's annoyed but you can tell she's having a blast. 
Honestly. Who wouldn't  be having a blast? It's like whack-a-goon!
"So," Selina says as soon as Ivy's out of earshot, which Harley can appreciate as an act of friendship, "no pheromones, I take it?"
"Nope!" Harley punctuates the word by slamming her bat into some guy's face. "None at all."
"Huh."
"What?" She's distracted enough by Selina's reply that she actually takes a punch to the face, which only manages to piss her off. She turns to look at the guy who delivered the blow just so he can see the look in her eyes before she completely obliterates his face. "Holy shit, dude. Can't you see we're having a fucking CONVERSATION !?"
For the next few minutes, Harley focuses on getting rid of the last few men around them so they can finish talking. Sure, beating up idiots is fun, but that little 'huh' was just mysterious enough to grab Harley's interest. What could possibly be so huh-worthy about her being fine? 
By the time they're done, there are a number of unconscious goons scattered all over the place. Harley pants, using her hand to wipe blood (mostly not hers) and sweat (mostly hers) off her face as she catches her breath.
"Whew. That was fun, right?"
Selina, as usual, manages to look spotless even if Harley saw her deal with several men with her own two eyes. Is Selina Kyle secretly magic? 
Could be.
"I've had better." Selina uses one of her claws to unlock an ornate little box and gather the jewels inside. Can she smell  expensive stuff? "Come on, let's go get Ivy."
"No, no, wait." Harley lowers her voice like she's scared Ivy may hear them somehow. "What did you mean earlier?"
"What do you mean, what did I mean?"
"You know," Harley motions in the general direction of the spot where Selina was when they were talking before, "with the huh."
"The what ." 
"The huh, Selina! The huh!" Dark olive eyes narrow in confusion (and annoyance), and Harley groans because she can't believe Selina Kyle is being this thick. "I said no pheromones. And you said huh."
"Oh, that." Selina uses a polished silver platter as a mirror to reapply a lipstick Harley is frankly not sure where one would even carry in a skin-tight leather jumpsuit. The more time she spends with Selina, the more convinced she is she just doesn't abide by the laws of physics. 
And the more time she waits for Selina to elaborate, the more Harley realizes she just... isn't going to, apparently.
"Uughhh!" Harley groans and uses her bat to smash a nearby sculpture. "You're killing me, Selina! What the fuck did you mean!?"
Selina cocks one perfectly manicured eyebrow (Harley can tell it's happening under the mask) and gives Harley a look like she can't believe she'd have the audacity to speak to her in that tone. 
"I meant," Selina's tone is a warning, like she wants to make it clear she could have made Harley suffer more if she wanted, but she's choosing not to, "I found it surprising. You looked a bit loved up to me."
"What? Pffft." Harley lets out a chuckle and nudges one of the pieces of the sculpture with her foot. "Cut back on the catnip, Selina."
Loved up. Ridiculous. Does she love Ivy? Of course. Is she loved up? Of course not . There's no heart emoji fog. None at all.
"If you say so." Selina gives her A Look. The kind of look says she doesn't believe Harley, and she wants Harley to know that even if she won't engage in an argument about it right now. Selina Kyle can say a lot with one look. 
For a moment, Harley considers pushing the issue. She could insist. She could give her a list of reasons why she's absolutely not loved up at all whatsoever. She could tell Selina how what she shares with Ivy is actually true friendship, and Selina would know if she was capable of bonding with anything other than cats and jewelry. She could tell her how there's nothing even remotely mind-foggy about her feelings for Ive (she could bring up she's seen that mind fog in action the many times Ive's put Batman under her spell, even). Harley could tell Selina how her brain always feels a bit foggy in a vague kind of way -- just foggy enough to keep Harleen quiet and let Harley take the wheel -- but being with Ivy makes her feel more lucid, more real , than anything else in the world. How when Ive says she loves her Harley feels it right in her bones, in the very marrow of them, in the deepest, darkest, longest-forgotten parts of her brain where no other feeling can ever reach.
She could tell her how wildly different all that is from a silly potion-induced love fog. But she doesn't think Selina would understand their friendship even if Harley actually spelled it out. So she doesn't.
Instead, she silently follows Selina towards the office where Pam's been doing her thing. Where Pam's still doing her thing, actually, and Harley can't help but smile and lean against the doorframe to watch her best friend doing what she loves most (after Harley) in the world: eco-conscious murder.
"I fucking swear ," Ivy hasn't realized they're there, so she must be talking to what Harley can only assume is the tycoon himself even though only one of his legs can be seen outside the enormous mouth of a very happy-looking carnivorous plant, "how hard is it to not print out e-mails? Look at all this shit. Do you know how many trees had to be killed so you could print out your shitty... whatever the fuck this is?" 
Ivy groans like she's frustrated she can't use her powers to just will all the papers scattered everywhere to turn back into trees. There are vines everywhere -- like nature reclaiming the furniture and the walls and the floors and really every surface of his office. There's a strange beauty to it, Harley thinks. Haunting, like those pictures of abandoned buildings covered in grass and moss and weeds. Even when she's angry -- and oh, she's angry  right now -- Ivy really can't help but make the world a more beautiful place, can she?
Even when she was on the other side of the reinforced glass, wearing her glasses and her white coat, Harley never fully understood why Poison Ivy was lumped in with the rest of the psychos in Gotham.
Harley doesn't know how long she stays there. Selina's happily working on the safe next to the carnivorous plant, and Harley's more than content to just watch Ivy in her element for a while.
And then, it happens. 
Ivy's going on a rant about a bunch of single-use coffee cups she's found in the trashcan by the desk when she suddenly stops in her tracks. Harley can't see what she's looking at until Ivy turns around with a small flower pot in her hand, a sad-looking, mostly dry plant limply hanging off its side.
"Fuck him."
Ivy touches the plant and her brow furrows, and Harley knows she's feeling the thirst and the pain in the little plant as if it was her own. "You're okay now," Ivy says as the plant starts to recover, and her voice is so soft -- so full of love for a dry, nearly dead plant -- that Harley swears she feels her heart grow at least a couple sizes. She watches her best friend breathe life into a little plant, watches it turn from brown to green, brighter and taller, watches it sprout new leaves that make it look like it's stretching after a long sleep. And then she watches a bright yellow flower bloom, and when Harley finally manages to tear her eyes away from the flower to look at Ivy instead, she swears she feels her heart stop dead in its tracks.
Ive's always beautiful. Always, without fail, no matter what time of day or night, lounging at home or brooding in an Arkham cell. Pam is beautiful always. But Harley doesn't think she's ever seen her look more beautiful than she does right now, with her hair slightly disheveled after a fight and some blood (not at all hers) splattered on her face and clothes. It's the way she's smiling at that little plant. The way her smile grows and softens when she notices Harley looking at her. Harley's so enthralled by Ivy that she doesn't realize what she's thinking until it's been running through her mind for a while.
God , Harley's in love with her.
And that's when she realizes. That's when she hears the proverbial record scratch in her brain and her eyes widen in horror because there it is. There's the pink fog before the botanical mutation, right? I mean she can't exactly see a literal pink fog, but she may as well. She can feel her heartbeat all over the place. The butterflies in her stomach. The nearly all-consuming need to grab Ivy and kiss her until neither of them can breathe. 
"Shit. Shit, Red, shit, shitshit shit ."
Ivy's no longer smiling. At all.
"Oh God, Pammy. I fucked up." Harley feels her eyes well up with tears as she rushes towards her best friend because this is no longer a hypothetical: this is happening. She did  drink something dangerous. And suddenly keeping Ivy from finding out and getting mad at her feels less important than fucking surviving. "I fucked up, Ive, I drank a potion and now I'm turning into a fucking plant, please  tell me you have an antidote."
"Harley. Harl, look at me." Ivy looks so genuinely concerned Harley's sure the ridiculous amount of love she can see in green eyes must be part of the potion's effects. She's hallucinating, isn't she? "What potion? You're immune, Harley, you know that. Calm down."
"No, no! Not poison, I mean--" Harley shakes her head but has to stop when Ivy places her hands on Harley's cheeks to hold her head steady and look into her eyes like she's wondering if Harley's on drugs or something. "I mean a love potion, Ive! Shit, I thought it was water and I just drank the whole thing and I thought maybe it was nothing because I felt fine but now I know for sure  I fucked up because I'm so in love with you like-- just feel this!" Harley grabs one of Ivy's hands and moves it from her cheek down to her chest, pressing it right where her heart is still skipping all over itself. "Right?"
"I-- I don't-- Harl, what potion ? You're immune to all of my--"
"The pheromones! I don't know what it was! God I'm such a fucking fuck-up and now I'm just-- shit I hope I at least turn into a rhododendron bush or something because I don't want to be a succulent, Ive. Don't let me turn into a succulent." Harley's really crying now, black mascara running down her cheeks and staining Pam's hand as she struggles to breathe through her words. "I know I should've told you but I didn't want you to be disappointed and now I'm in love and it's just-- Selina, you tell her!"
"Selina?" Ivy turns around like she's just realized Selina is still in the mansion, let alone in the room with them. "What's going on?"
Harley was expecting Selina to tell Ivy exactly what happened that morning. She was expecting Selina to tell Ivy all about Harley being an idiot who drinks things without looking first, about the pheromones and chill, about Harley's refusal to tell Ivy right away. Instead, Selina looks... almost like she's the one who's been caught in a lie.
"Selina, what the fuck did you do?" Ivy's voice sounds like she's mere seconds away from feeding Selina to the plant, too. Harley can feel the anger like tingles where Ivy's hands are still pressed against her skin. "What did you give her?"
Selina lets out a sigh. "Margarita mix."
"What?" Harley feels a lightbulb go off inside her brain. That  was the weird taste when she drank whatever was in that bottle. Fucking margarita mix. But just.. "Why? What the fuck, Selina? Why would you let me think it was pheromones? I know Batman doesn't actually fuck bats, probably. Come on, it was a joke! Mostly!" 
"Will you relax?" Selina sounds like she can't believe Harley may be a bit agitated after spending a whole day thinking she's going to die and/or mutate into a plant. "I'm sick of watching you two idiots pretend that ," she points in the general direction of Harley and Ivy, "is just a couple of gals being pals. Figured I'd help you out."
"Help!?" Harley could just-- God , she could just smash Selina's face in with her bat. But she suddenly realizes there's a much more pressing issue to handle before revenge can even begin to be considered. "Shit, Red," Harley takes one step back to look at Ivy, and for the first time ever she's surprised to see she can't read the look in her eyes, "I didn't mean-- you know I didn't mean any of it, right?" For a split second Harley swears something like pain flashes behind green eyes, but it's gone as quickly as it appeared. "I was just worried and I-- I got in my head about it. But you know I didn't mean it. You know , right? Pammy?"
It takes Ivy a few seconds to answer, and when she does she sounds... different. "Yeah. Yeah, I know."
For some reason, it doesn't sound as reassuring as Harley though it would.
"Come on, Ive--" Selina tries to keep talking, but Ivy cuts her off.
"Listen, we're done here. So I'm just gonna..." Ivy shakes her head like she's trying to physically clear it of thoughts and feelings and general clutter, "I'm just gonna go home."
Harley feels like she's stuck to the floor. She just stands there, silent and frozen in place as she watches Ivy leave. She knows this isn't right. She knows something  just happened -- something she can't quite wrap her brain around right now. All she knows is Ivy's leaving, and she wants her to stay but she doesn't know how to make her body move or make any noises until her gaze drops to the desk and she sees the little plant right there.
"Ive!" Harley grabs the pot and runs out just in time to see Ivy's vines lifting her up through the same skyline they used to get in. "Ivy, you forgot the plant!"
But Ivy doesn't come back.
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b-rainlet · 3 years
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Gotham for the fandom ask thingy.
(I ran here so fuckin fast you have no clue)
Hello anon! :D I will answer this now, so you don't have to wait any longer but also....this would be very nice to answer through gifsets...(maybe when I am feeling up for it).
For now, have this:
(It's not proof read because I just sat at this for several hours and I don't wanna look at it anymore).
Favourite Male Character
You mean...besides the obvious answers?? :D
Ngl, it's S2 Jerome. I love that little twink with his parental issues and his tragic backstory and I wanna see him happy. There's a reason I have a bunch of AUs where he ends up having a family (mostly in the form of Lee as his Mother) and gets some actual help instead of being ostracized for being a mentally ill person snapping after years of abuse.
(This also ties into my very strong feelings regarding the fact that nobody actually helps the people at Arkham. And I don't mean the main villains there, I mean all the inmates who get treated like shit and are left behind on the regurlar (remember in S2 when Arkham was about to explode and nobody was talking about evacuating the inmates???? I do).
Other than that, one of my faves is also Jonathan. Which may be a little surprising because I barely talk about him but he was my favourite character throughout the show and he had way too little scenes.
(Kinda telling that the characters I latched onto are both helpless teens who were fucked over by the people who were supposed to protect them and can both trace their villain origin story back to Jim Gordon not caring enough about them lmao).
But the cast is big and varied enough that I actually like everyone? Butch, Zsazs, Penguin, S1 and 2 Ed, Jervis, Harvey, Jim......I like them all!!
(Special shoutout to 514A too, he was soft and baby and I wanted to keep him safe and sound really desperately).
(Another special shoutout to Barnes!! I didn't expect to like him when I first saw him, given he looked like he was gonna be mean and stoic and all, but I ended up really liking him and his story!)
Favourite Female Character
Let's just pretend Ecco doesn't exist for this answer ajdkaskaslj.
I fell in love immediately upon seeing Ecco but all! the women! are so!!! good!!!!
I especially have a soft spot for the side characters. I mean, upon first watching I got attached to Alice (even though she only features in two episodes lmao), and also Kristen Kringle - who isn't talked about much within Fandom, but she was pretty and her and Ed were actually quite cute but then she had to die for him to become the Riddler which was...pretty much telling us from the beginnning 'The woman here die to advance the men's plots'.
Barbara was also a big surprise to me because I figured she'd be the female love interest and nothing more but!! her and Jerome were the best thing in S2 and also the most entertaining thing about the Maniax Plot. (In several ways, I think I had the most fun watching this show during S2 , it was just. Good).
Also upon being in this Fandom and thinking about certain characters a bit longer I also really like Vicky Vale. And Montoya. And I wish they had kept both around for longer.
(I also wish they wouldn't have made Vicky a love interest for Jim. Or Sofia. No love interests for Jim except Lee and Barbara please).
Also Selina!! I love both Selina and Tabitha with all my heart - which may also be surprising because I barely ever talk about Tabby but I contain multitudes aklskddsm, and while I like sharing my horny thoughts about Ecco, I also love to think about Tabby and daydream about her being happy and exploring her (and Selina's) issues with showing weakness and affection and their strong loyalty regarding people that they trust.
I just.....women. Women good.
(Women also deserve to have more character than just being somebody's love interests and I have enough wips that completely sideline the guys to focus on the woman instead lmao).
Least Favourite Character
I don't have many characters that I hate??
I generally tend to instantly love everybody unless they are specifically made to be unlikeable. (I also spite-like characters who are hated for petty reasons, I just have a lot of love in my heart and not much energy for hate lmao).
But there were characters who annoyed me while I was watching.
For one, I think Gotham has a variety of super entertaining villains, but the main villains of each season tend to be....boring.
Safe for Strange they all kinda fell flat for me. Theo. Kathryn. Ra's Al Ghul. His Daughter. Mostly because their plotlines were less exciting than stuff like Jerome's carnival or Mother and Orphan's Hotel of Horrors.
Or their motives seemed a lot less understandable than the ones of the other Batman villains who pretty much always come from a place of suffering and abuse and break/snap under the pressure that's put on them (continuing this take of Gotham creating its own villains by leaving behind - mentally ill - people that need help, which I think is very true to most - if not all - Batman villains).
And then you have some characters that simply suffer from the fact that the show was cut short - which is pretty much any and every S5 character that had way too little screentime, but in this specific case means Jeremiah.
Because I disliked Jeremiah a lot while watching.
Without wanting to step on anybody's toes, him and Nygma are probably the two characters on this show I ended up disliking the most.
Mostly because Miah felt like a very cheap copy of Jerome and to this day I think it was a bad idea to replace Jerome with him, since Jeremiah - to me - seems like a super flat character.
Maybe if we had gotten him without meeting Jerome first, just having a Joker character introduced in S4, maybe I would've adored him, who knows.
But in comparison to Jerome...no. Just no.
(I will spare you from any longer rambles, but I think if you follow me, I talked about the ways Miah is lacking for me before).
My made up version of Miah though? I love him.
With Nygma it's even worse because I adored him. I instantly liked him. I was 100% behind him right up until the godawful Isabella plot happened and then it just all went to shit so quickly, I couldn't stand seeing him on screen anymore.
It's surprising that I didn't stop liking Oswald but to me, Oswald pretty much stayed the same while Ed became all bitter and hard and I just miss dorky S2 Ed you know?
It actually got so bad, I completely turned my back on Nygm/obblepot as a ship because I was so severly disappointed and I barely talk about Ed because I just can't stand what they did with him.
(Another victim of bad writing).
Favourite Ship
I'm just gonna stick to canon ships because I don't ever shut up about my Fanon ships so you probably know which ones I love the most :D
There isn't much romance going on within Gotham if I think about it - apart from Jim - which I definitely prefer. You wouldnt guess it from my blog, but I am not a fan of too shippy stuff because in most cases it just means sex scenes and I can live without those. I want action! Blood! Dead People! Not a two minute make-out session between two bland characters!
I gotta admit that Ed and Lee have some cute scenes and I would definitely ship them if I didn't dislike S4 Ed so much (S2 EdLee tho?? Yes).
Also I thought Jim and Lee was okay and Baby Batcat was quite cute at times but mostly I don't care about the canon ships.
I do ship Barbara and Jim though :D
I remember right before they hooked up in S5 I was like: 'I wouldn't mind if they got back together' and then went 'yay!' when they did and I wouldn't have minded a little more 'Will they?? Won't they??' between those two and them just having the mother of unhealthy relationships on this show.
(Also Jim/Barbara/Lee poly relationship but we can't have everything).
Favourite Friendship
So many good relationships on this show!
I need to rewatch the show soon because I probably already forgot about most of them but from the top of my head: Oswald/Butch and Oswald/Zsazs
Which were both then done dirty lmao. One by having Oswald be overly petty (one of the few times I was like...Pengy...wtf...) and the other by passing up the obvious opportunity to have Zsazs find out who really killed Falcone and just...letting Oswald and Victor never interact again. 
Then of course Ivy and Selina which also gloriously fell apart. Just like Ivy and Oswald. 
(Gotham isn’t the best when it comes to maintaining friendships). 
And the biggest and most grandious friendship of them all: J Squad. 
(Who have too little scenes together honestly and then also simply fell apart after Jerome died. Consistency who?)
Favourite Quote
I don’t know, I don’t have many quotes in my head from the show. Me and my niece mostly reference: “Yeah, that’s a spoon.” - “IT IS ALSO A FORK!!1!!!”
Also: “Gotta Go! Gotta Go! They’re after me and the Scarecrow!”
(There are some dialogue blurps I have written down somewhere because they are inspriration for gifsets but in order to be able to just recite some of them from Memory, I would have to watch this show way more obsessively). 
Worst Character Death
I don’t even gotta say anything do I? :D
But I think the character death that actually made me cry was Jerome’s first death. I clearly remember crying because...he just wanted recognition! And praise! And instead he was used as a pawn and betrayed by someone he idolized and he was only 18! My poor little meow-meow!
Seriously, the only things that make me cry on this show: Jerome’s first death, any and all mention of Bruce as a baby - told by an emotional Alfred, any and all Bruce/Alfred interaction at all and Solomon Grundy. 
This made me so happy you have no idea Moment
I seriously need to rewatch this show, it’s been so long :D
But I remember being pretty excited for the J Squad Team Up - because I was like ‘If I were Jerome I would definitely work with Tetch and Scarecrow since they’re also in Arkham atm’ and then he did!!
And I also distinctly remember in S3 that I was close to falling asleep right when they scene came on where Oswald realizes his feelings for Nygma and let me tell you - it caught me so off guard, I was awake instantly lmao. 
(I knew that people shipped them but I was so used to mlm ships being popular when they only have a handful of scenes and are platonic friends that I didn’t expect them to actually have a possibility of being canon). 
From then on I was super pumped for them to deliver on that ship but well....we all knew what happened asnksnndk. 
Saddest Moment
Aside from the already mentioned scenes in the character death column, the scene where Bruce leaves and Selina runs to the airport. I always liked Selina but she wasn’t a priority character of mine (much like Bruce isn’t) but then that scene happened and in an instant, I felt super protective over her. 
She is now my baby. My daughter. My beloved wife. She deserves everything and most importantly she deserves better than Bruce Wayne. 
(Coincidentally that was also the scene where I decided I don’t care much about Bruce asldjkjlj. I absolutely adore early seasons Bruce though). 
Favourite Location
There are so many different locations, I don’t think I can adequately answer this with my spotty memory :D
But I always loved the few episodes where Alice features, because I love how her scenes are shot so probably the little carnival Jervis prepares for her.
Also!! Jeremiah's church!
Or Commissioner Loeb's secret house (Especially the Attic).
There are a lot of cool locations, I gotta gif some of them soon :D
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tessatechaitea · 7 years
Text
Batman #18
This is more erotic than Batman's rooftop humpfest with Selina.
Looks like Bane's back on the dope! Plus we're finally getting a story about Mommy Issues! About fucking time, DC. I've had it up to my prostate with Daddy Issues.
King gives us a little back story on Bane and Bruce to set up the conflict. After they both lost their mothers tragically (which totally makes them the same person who experienced the same trauma and thus are the same except for the next difference that I'll be getting to outside of this parenthetical reference), Bruce was sent to live in a mansion with a butler where he could become a responsible, strong, obsessive man with a death wish while Bane was shoved in an oubliette that flooded daily where he could become a psychotic drug user with a Mexican wrestling fetish. See? They'd be samesies if it weren't for Bruce's privilege. I hope he acknowledges it in his encounter with Bane so everything will then be okay and they can become friends. Although I assume Bane will just say something like "So what? Now you deserve an ally cookie?!" or maybe just break Batman's face. Both young Bruce and Bane are really fucking into their mothers. It's creepy. Or is it normal? Is that how kids react when they lose their mother? I would have thought there would be more drinking and piñatas.
No, you're a drug addict in a luchador mask. Your past is no more compelling than any of the other people you're currently denigrating and writing off.
So Batman's entire plan to distract Bane for five days is to get his ass beaten by him? For five days straight? This is going to go well. You know what might have been a good idea? Instead of asking Superman to babysit the Robins while they're in cryogenic stasis, maybe get Superman to put Bane in stasis for five days. No? I suppose there's less chance of a lawsuit kidnapping and restraining your children than doing that to a convicted criminal threatening you with death. Bane says he's also not some rich boy playing dress-up. So I guess he does know Batman's secret identity and thus the location of the Bat-cave. I can't keep straight who knows and who doesn't know. Why should Batman even care at this point? Enough people know that the information is probably all over the Internet in hilarious meme form. Bane beats the shit out of Batman but Batman refuses to give Psycho Pirate back to Bane. So Bane tells Room Service to kill the hostages. Uh oh! Batman better have a back-up plan! Like how he could have had that Superman back-up plan I mentioned earlier. Oh come on! Who didn't think he had a back-up plan? Show of hands? See? No hands! I mean, I couldn't see them even if there were any but I'm certain their weren't any. Mostly because even if some of you thought he didn't have a back-up plan and this series was about to end, you'd probably be too embarrassed to admit it.
Get it?! Cats beat birds! Duh! It's evologic! That's a combination of evolution and logic, in case you're one of those dum-dums who occasionally and accidentally read one of my reviews.
Catwoman has strung up Room Service, Housekeeping, and Night Clerk back in Bane's safehouse and clawed "I am cat" into their chests. Then Batman heads into Arkham and Bane follows him. Good for Bane! He never even stops to say that stupid thing about it probably being a trap and then going in anyway. He just kicks the motherfucking door down and gets on with it. The Ranking! No change! I almost gave it a +1 because it ended so well with Catwoman's flexing line that I was all positive and upbeat about it. But then I remembered all the flashback sequences with Bruce and Bane saying, "Mommy this!" and "Mother that!" Fuck that shit. It was annoying. P.S. I just noticed I didn't complain about David Finch's inability to draw the mouth of a man this issue. So, um, good job, Dave? I guess?
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