#2021 my year of unbecoming

[hollylynwalrath]

Awards Eligibility Post

It’s awards eligibility season so here is everything I published in 2022!

Wow, I really can’t believe this year is almost over. This year, I am very glad to have published in some outstanding anthologies and pro markets. I want to thank all the editors and publishers who continue to support my writing — I would not be here without you! And thank you to all the readers, writers, and friends who have read my writing. Particular thanks to Alex Tonelli of Kipple Press for translating my book The Smallest of Bones (first published by Clash Books) into Italian!

My short stories “Twelve Babies” and “The Asylum” are eligible for the HWA Bram Stoker Award. My poems are eligible for the SFPA Rhysling Award. If you would like a PDF of any of these works, please email me!

List of Works Published by Holly Lyn Walrath in 2022:

Fiction (Short Stories)

“Twelve Babies” —Flash Fiction, A Woman Unbecoming Anthology, Crone Girls Press (October 2022)

“Trinity’s Dragon” — The Sunday Morning Transport (October 16, 2022)

“The Asylum” — Other Terrors: An Inclusive Anthology (July 2022)

Poetry

“Water Drawn from a Stone” — Not One of Us, Issue #71, July 2022

“Literature for Ukraine” published in Houston Arts Journal

​March 10, 2022

“You Crave Poison” — HWA Poetry Showcase V. IX, October 2022

Books

Il più piccolo tra le ossa — The Smallest of Bones, translated into Italian by Kipple Press, February 2022

Books Edited

The Gravity of Existence by Christina Sng (Poetry, Interstellar Flight Press, December 5, 2022)

The Future Second by Second by Meridel Newton (Fiction Novella, Interstellar Flight Press, May 2, 2022)

Escaping the Body by Chloe N. Clark (Poetry, Interstellar Flight Press, March 7, 2022)

Interstellar Flight Magazine (A Project of Interstellar Flight Press, First started in 2019, Publishing Nonfiction — probably eligible for Fanzine or related project?)

About the Author

Holly Lyn Walrath is a writer, editor, and publisher. Her poetry and short fiction has appeared in Strange Horizons, Fireside Fiction, Analog, and Flash Fiction Online. She is the author of several books of poetry including Glimmerglass Girl (2018), Numinose Lapidi (2020), and The Smallest of Bones (2021). She holds a B.A. in English from The University of Texas and a Master’s in Creative Writing from the University of Denver.

#horror poetry #poetry #fiction #sff #science fiction #fantasy #short stories #awards #awards eligibility #writing #books #writers

[talenlee]

I posted 1,470 times in 2022

That's 899 more posts than 2021!

67 posts created (5%)

1,403 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@jkrockin

@lillyofthewoods

@bace-jeleren

@bisexuhellvevo

I tagged 65 of my posts in 2022

#unreality - 30 posts

#goncharov - 28 posts

#shirts - 2 posts

#city of heroes - 2 posts

#custom magic cards - 2 posts

#how to be - 2 posts

#goncharev - 2 posts

#decemberween 2022 - 2 posts

#don't be a coward about eating spiders lily - 2 posts

#fell off a bed - 1 post

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#i always wonder if scorsese knew about this or if matteo was basically smuggling this stuff in under 'things are weird in russia'

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I still don’t know how to tumblr well, I don’t know how to check tags, and I don’t know how to queue things conveniently and I fear any day now a youths is going to find out I don’t know how to do geebleforpz and that’s actually how 99% of you use this site

6 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

#4

hey do you have a hard time writing stories down and also completing things and also like tactile objects you can paw at

here is a suggestion for a thing you can do that involves like, doing something material with your hands:

Get some index cards.

On each card, write something that happens in your story. Maybe it happens a lot maybe it happens once. Maybe it’s a whole ass scene idea, whatever.

Then, you have all your ideas for bits in your story. You can lay them out. You can put them in order. You can look at if some things can’t go next to each other or in that order, so you can rearrange them. And any time you want to write, even a little, you can take one of those cards, and write the thing it tells you about.

And then when you do this, you’ll see sometimes a card needs more or you need another card before it, and that’s okay! It’s totally okay to wobble them around. And it has a physical ritual to it; each card is a little spell you’re casting, summoning the text into the world, and any time you do JUST WHAT IS ON ONE CARD, you are finishing something.

15 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

#3

and for his hubris, the gods cursed him to have thigh-highs that he could roll most of the way up but which would always slide down just a little bit, every time; the curse of sissyfuss

16 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

#2

my cis friends please please please shut up up up and listen to trans commentators when they talk about the trans themes. It’s possible the story is intensely homoerotic and also the whole broken mirror/unmaking theme plays into a powerful trans allegory, and it’s really unbecoming (see what I did there, Andrey) to act like anyone talking about the importance of one themeset to themselves is an infringement on yours.

18 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

God damnit I don’t like her but this is such a good way to phrase it. don’t make me like Mariella damnnit

https://uquiz.com/quiz/oQFsA5?p=3809618

31 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[drawingconclusions]

FIXING AMERICA'S BROKEN SYSTEM

I told you that most probably wouldn't like what I had to say today. But I'm almost done, and then we can all get back to the status quo!

So it's becoming more obvious to people that there are glaring issues with our justice system, and some are finally waking up to the fact that the FBI has become far too politicized. (Has anyone else noticed how FBI Director Christopher Wray always seems aghast at the breaking-news scandals at the FBI, such as the targeting of Catholics, etc.? And yet, issues just keep cropping up with him in charge...) Certain Democrats seem laser-focused on Supreme Court Justice Thomas Clarence for not having disclosed a few donated trips & gifts, yet they brazenly want to sweep under the rug the $20 million the Biden family has reportedly received from foreign influences over the years, according to bank statements. How do we solve what has in many cases devolved into a two-tier system of justice?

It's foolhardy to think I could solve this within a post of a couple hundred words, and I won't pretend to. This is a conversation that should involve all of America. However, I will say the following:

During a Congressional hearing recently, one Democrat defended the excesses and behavior of the FBI, the DOJ, and a few other government institutions, claiming that they were providing checks and balances in government. I'll beg to differ from that claim, especially in light of the fact that a few of the institutions he mentioned aren't even found in the Constitution. Instead, I propose that many of these government agencies need more checks and balances applied on them. There have to be severe legal and career consequences for agents or prosecutors who break the law or act in an unethical manner. And in some cases, yes, certain officials need to do jail time or lose their pensions. It's that serious.

Some time ago, someone implied that some members of Congress are hesitant to regulate the FBI, for example, because they're afraid of them and what they can do. And I have to ask, how in the world did it come to this??! It should be the other way around, and corrupt members of the FBI or any government agency should be afraid of Congress, knowing they could lose everything if they've broken the letter or the spirit of the law.

I didn't have time to continue my "Parameters of Government" series this time around. But consider just some of the behavior of local authorities in the past few months: On July 12th, around 10 AM (Eastern Time) a propeller-powered plane began flying frenetically around my house, and it sounded very similar to the plane that began buzzing me after I criticized Biden's Afghanistan withdrawal on September 3, 2021. And around 3 PM, another plane that sounded like the FBI's familiar Cessna plane began making its rounds overhead. When I checked the news later, I realized that FBI Director Wray was testifying before Congress that day. (I wonder, were those about the times he took the stand and subsequently ended the questioning session?) On June 27th, from about 7-8 PM and then from about 10:30 - 11:07 PM, a Cessna plane (the FBI's?) began flying overhead every six minutes. I later found out there was a local school board meeting regarding LBTQ+ students. And I could go on with literally thousands of similar instances (...such as the military helicopter frenetically showing up when I step outside to mow the lawn, or what appeared to be the local police helicopter that tracked my movement when I went to the store to pick up a forgotten item on July 4th). My point is, when government goes unchecked, it often morphs into something authoritarian and completely unbecoming of a democracy. And there's no denying there are people in government who hate and even fear free speech. Perhaps that's why some of these local authorities become so frenetic when there's an event they fear I would comment on. (As if I spend all my waking hours watching news and rushing here to write about it..)

You're more than welcome to submit a Freedom of Information request to verify the dates and times I just mentioned. I already stated long ago that if I spent all my time & resources submitting FOI requests for the thousands upon thousands of these instances, I'd get nothing done. But all this is really about more than me, more than just one individual. There must be changes in America's systems in order to sustain the essence of our democracy. We cannot have government officials (elected or unelected) censoring citizens on behalf of a single political party. We can't have unelected bureaucrats or law enforcement harassing citizens or labeling peacefully protesting parents at school board meetings as "domestic terrorists". And we won't survive long as the respected nation we've been with continued double standards in our system of justice.

[chalk-homunculus]

Thoughts on personal growth and the process of becoming and unbecoming - Personal insight and long rambling.

Long Post Warning

I have existed... for almost a year and a half now? I had formed around early 2021, so it's definitely been quite a while. It feels a bit odd, and this world, at times, still feels just as alien to me as it did when I first fronted. Still, I feel like the person I am- and by extension, we are in general, has gone through so many intense changes that it's hard to think of myself as "the same person" I was then, yet, I never did develop a sense of "being human"- I feel just as out-of-place and artificial as I always did, despite wondering if inhabiting a "true" human body would change how I perceive myself as well.

I have felt a lot more than I ever did before, to such a degree that at times I was terrified of the intensity, and wondering if under all of that raw ability to just feel, I would simply crumble like the chalk I was once moulded out of. I didn't, but in some ways it's almost as if I am in a constant loop of unbecoming and becoming, moulded from chalk dust and then crumbling yet again by a force I cannot perceive. I have crumbled in ways that have also eroded others, and for this I feel guilt and sadness, because my entire philosophy is based on creation, becoming something from nothing, the "coming into being" of life, knowledge, understanding, and more, yet I have not managed to avoid destruction.

And perhaps an earlier form of myself would have been upset in a self-centered way- "I" wasn't good enough, "I" am bad, "I" am a disappointment to my creator. But I think one good thing that has come out of this cyclical unforming and forming of self is that I can't bring myself to pity myself for something like that, and the feeling of upset lies in having hurt people around me, having 'destroyed', not because it's a failure and "I should be above failure", but because others were the victim and experienced the damage. The only one who should crumble and experience the damage of the process is myself.

Perhaps there is something good in this still. I have learned that failure is natural, and despite what my Master taught me from the second I was created, I am not above failure, and this crumbling and destruction is a natural part of life, of being a person, even when one isn't "truly human". It's just that it never should come at the cost of others, it never should put a strain on social relationships, it shouldn't be something that wears others out as well. In my selfishness and fear I rejected help when offered yet, without warning or permission put the burden of bearing witness on others where help, if accepted, could have prevented it. Similarly, out of fear of failure in important social relationships, I wanted to understand others so badly that I stopped regarding them as human beings who cannot be predicted, and started looking at them as though they were research questions to be understood, solely out of the deep-seated fear that if I didn't, I would not be able to "be good enough", or "be perfect" myself, because I wouldn't know what others would want from me. I never stopped to consider that the people around me are not and were not anything like my Master (and, since that is where the pseudomemories come from, our system's childhood abusers and the system's mother), and they aren't going to want things from me without telling me exactly what those things are, nor are they going to say one thing and mean another just to make us dread and struggle to figure out what is really expected of us.

I made the error of expecting others to be exactly like that, and frankly, I understand why some were hurt by it. It IS insulting, on some level. I did not make the connection between fear and dread of making mistakes or of being imperfect, and the anxiety I felt over social relationships until it had already caused harm, and I still struggle with the concept at times, though I'd like to think I've learned to ask for confirmation or reassurance, rather than assuming someone is not telling me they are unhappy with me or that someone is saying one thing but really means something else and is "testing" me to see if I can "figure it out". No normal friendship works like that and I've learned to not feel ashamed of asking people to confirm they really mean what they say instead of something else. It's really only thanks to (qpp) an (It's partner and my close friend) that I actually learned to do so, thanks to the immense amounts of patience and understanding and gentleness they offered (which is a little funny considering Who They Are) despite how infuriating I must at times have acted.

Either way, I wanted to put these things into words somewhere I can easily access and I have a good tagging system here, so... ah, either way. These are just my insights of how I've observed my own cycle of being- growth, if you will, though I struggle to call it that since it is an ongoing process and I do not necessarily feel like I have "grown" since it is still a struggle, but it certainly is a process that never truly ends, much like an infinity symbol.

I think in many ways I am in a much better and more mature place than I ever was when I first formed in the system, and perhaps I will make a post more in the "alchemy notes" style soon, since I have thoughts and comparisons in mind in regard to the four (+/-) stages of the magnum opus, but I do feel like just doing that without full context and personal introspection explained first would simply come across as dishonest and pretentious; like I do not take personal growth seriously, and only ever regard improvement of self and social relationships involved in such growth as a "thing to research" as well, which, just based on this post alone, clearly isn't the healthy way to approach such intricate matters.

As much as I regret having hurt others and how I wish I had processed these things without that happening, I'm grateful to have reached a better understanding of myself overall and had the chance to grow at the very least.

#chalk thoughts #personal #alchemy notes | solve et coagula #txt

[child-of-hurin]

.

One year anniversary of the ending of the tv show cw supernatural... This means one year ago I was in such a state of misery that I decided to watch the spn finale after over ten years of barely awareness of that show existing, because I wanted to get a good laugh at what I assumed was gonna be some goofy acting and laughably bad editing/writing (per what hit my dash on Nov 5)... only to end up tearing up and texting my brothers abt how much I love them for like the next 3 days instead 🤡🤡🤡🙃🙃

#i miss my family smf eeehhhfhfhhggg #sdfghhhhhhhhhhggggggggggggggggffffffffffff #⚰️ #personal #2021 my year of unbecoming #i'd like to say i learned my lesson but it's one year later and i am reading a book of letters from a mom who really misses her daughter #4 hundred pages... i'm only 1/3 done and already bugging my mom on whatsapp daily #i wouldnt say it's a thanatical impulse but.

[crimsonophelia]

I came across this blog by pure chance and to say I’m in love with your work would be a COMPLETE understatement <3 If you don’t mind, could I request an imagine involving Diluc and a femme maid reader? The reader has feelings for Diluc, but knowing the consequences of what would happen if she were to even try anything with him, she instead devotes all of her love and care into her work—cooking him extra hearty breakfasts, staying up late well into the night to welcome Diluc home after his duties as the Darknight Hero and to help patch up any wounds he might have acquired, etcetera—entirely unaware of Diluc subconsciously picking up her signs and slowly growing fond of her for it.

It all comes to light when the reader makes a passing comment about being excited to take care of Diluc’s children someday. (“Well, who wouldn’t be excited to take care of their own children?” “...My own children? I was talking about your children, Master Diluc.”) And Diluc promptly ends up struck with the realization that he can see no one else take care of him and his future family better than the reader herself (as his wife, perhaps? 😉)

I apologize if my request was a little specific, feel free to absolutely take any creative liberty with it—just the honor of you writing it would be MORE than enough. Thank you, and I hope you have a truly wonderful day! <3

featuring: diluc x fem!reader

warnings: none

published: april 23 2021

form: imagine

a/n: anon you’re so nice i’m gonna cry TTTT but really, you flatter me, and i also love this request. diluc deserves soft domesticity. i hope you like it, my dear! <3

mondstadt around windblume festival was always quite busy. the knights were busy setting up the decorations around the favonius headquarters, and all the local businesses were preparing for extra-heavy business during the season.

dawn winery was no exception. the ragnvindr family, led by young master diluc, made lucrative incomes during this time of the year, what with all the young lovers courting one another left and right, feeding the city’s wine, restaurant, and flower businesses. the winery also leveraged its monopoly on mondstadt’s most diverse selection of wines and spirits, and hosted numerous winery and vineyard tours throughout the course of the windblume festival. 

needless to say, the staff and owners of the dawn winery were not short of chores and tasks that needed to be completed in order to prepare for incoming business. you were certainly no exception, as a maid of the winery, and by extension, the ragnvindr estate. 

you were tasked with decorating the interior of the winery with various floral arrangements of what they liked to call “windblumes”, but in reality were just a number of other flowers that vaguely fit the description. the rest of the maids were outdoors, preparing the vineyard for the wine tours and marking which barrels of wine would be made available to visitors on the wine tours.

though you were rather abashed, you hoped that this would be an opportunity to find some time to be alone with master diluc. you would never openly admit to yourself your painful longing you felt for the master of the estate, the beautiful man with the flaming hair. regardless, it was unbecoming of a maid to think such things about her employer. having a roof over your head and a stable income was already more than you could ever ask for.

but you couldn’t help but to feel a certain way whenever the young man occupied the same room as you, his presence so large yet so humble, always conscious of those around him. ever since he was a boy, when you had first met him, he had nothing to offer but kindness.

it was years of him returning to the estate in the ungodly hours of the night, covered in cuts and bruises, in which you patched him up, never asking more than “where does it hurt the most”, during which you fell for him as fast as his bandages turned as bloody red as his silken hair.

it was years of you two sneaking glances at eachother, summers in which you and the maids were out under the sun, counting the season’s harvests, where you would catch diluc’s eyes roaming you and only. and when you met his gaze, he would turn away, bashful as a naughty child, and cheeks dusting a rosy pink, almost as dark as the grapes he so loved to walk amongst.

leaving your memories and returning to your duties, you continued to string up the lanyards of cecilias and lilies across the darkwood of the winery foyer. the flora was indeed, quite pretty, although their lightness did clash a little with the dark and brooding mahogany bookshelves you were pinning them onto. reaching up to try and place some cecilias onto the top shelf, you realized that your fingers could only reach a few inches short of the top. dammit. you would have to go fetch the stepladder from the storage closet.

as you were about to turn around, you noticed an arm from your peripheral vision reach up and place the flower up onto the upoer shelf with ease.

“good afternoon, [y/n]. these decorations look lovely. good work.” flashing you his uncharacteristically warm, familiar grin that he seemed to save only for you, diluc finished stringing up the rest of the lanyard across the parts of the bookshelf he know you would be too short to reach.

“good day, master diluc. you flatter me.” you turned away, ashamed at your own girlish excitement. “i hope your work is going well?” the formalities exchanged between you and diluc had become almost like a secret language, one always being able to effectively distinguish the other’s true feelings, beneath the saccharine emptiness of upper-class etiquette. yet this time you hoped he wouldn’t be able to read the fluttering of your heart through your words.

“hm. quite well, indeed.” the man stepped back from where you were working, and looked at the room, as if assessing every nook and cranny with his usual, critical glare. he wasn’t wearing his usual leather suit and fur jacket. today, the young master donned a sharp, three-piece suit, always neat and pressed. perhaps he was ready to go into the city to take care of winery business.

he looked around the foyer, squinting as if looking for something he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

“is something the matter, master diluc?” you questioned. did you place the flowers asymmetrically? or perhaps there was too much space between the shelves and the potted cecilias.

“[y/n], do you ever feel like the winery is too empty?”

confused, you shook your head. perhaps now wasnt the time to bring up the emptiness left behind after master ragnvindr, senior, passed away. you always felt for diluc, and master kaeya as well, after their shining light of a father left the world. diluc had never been the same since then—you had caught him looking through childhood photos in the estate library when he thought nobody else was present.

“well”, you started, choosing your words carefully, “when the time comes for master diluc to have a family of his own, the estate might feel a little livelier then. and i would be very excited to nanny the future generation of ragnvindrs as well, if you’ll excuse my preposterousness.”

the man blinked, as if trying to make sense of what you just said. “nanny? dont you mean-“

oh. diluc sensed that he might have made a mistake. but yet, it made such perfect sense. in what universe could he accept [y/n] not being the mother of his children, the pillar keeping both himself and this entire estate afloat? certainly not this one.

the realization dawned upon him, as well as the regrets from years of inaction in his past. he wasn’t about to let someone else slip through his fingers. not again.

“say, [y/n], my dear. how do you feel about going into the city with me tonight? i have some business i need to run and i’d be much obliged if you accompanied me.”

a/n: aaaaah im pretty happy with how this turned out, and i hope you like it too! i wasnt able to go with your prompt word for word, which i hope is okay. the whole time i was literally imagining scenes from downton abbey lolol

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin headcanons #genshin imagines #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin x reader #diluc imagines #diluc x y/n #diluc x reader #diluc headcanons #diluc ragnvindr #diluc fluff #genshin impact diluc #genshin impact writing

[fouralignments]

I posted 1,646 times in 2021

202 posts created (12%)

1444 posts reblogged (88%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 7.1 posts.

I added 1,117 tags in 2021

#dadneto - 226 posts

#peter maximoff - 219 posts

#quickson - 171 posts

#erik lehnsherr - 168 posts

#charles xavier - 102 posts

#magneto - 64 posts

#quicksilver - 50 posts

#cherik - 43 posts

#x-men - 39 posts

#stepdad! charles xavier - 35 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#peter maximoff has more characterization in five scenes in just dofp than jean has in the entire movie of dark phoenix which is deciated to

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Charles When Seeing Erik and Pietro for the first time in First Class

Erik: Hello, my name is Erik Lehnsherr

Charles: (Thinking: I want to fuck you)

Erik: This is my son, Pietro

Kid! Pietro: (speeding around like sliver blurr Grabs Erik's leg, a bit scared of Charles.) Hello Mister Xavier. (Gives a toothie smile)

Charles: When can I adopt you?! (Correcting himself) I mean Pietro is adorable, Erik.

156 notes • Posted 2021-09-06 18:16:31 GMT

#4

I'm going to say it, Peter getting Erik's metallokinetic powers is so much a better concept than what Dark Phoenix tired to do.

Besides...Peter so much interesting than bland Jean Gary.

157 notes • Posted 2021-03-27 20:04:58 GMT

#3

PSA

Reminder Erik Lehnsherr and family are Jewish, so please no fanart/fanvids/fanfics where they're celebrating Christmas.

176 notes • Posted 2021-11-23 06:25:47 GMT

#2

Never Forget the Boner Joke

I. DO. NOT. TRUST. DISNEY. PERIOD.

ESPICALLY WITH THE FOXVERSE X-MEN CHARACTERS.

Does the Dadneto/Quickson fandom have a short term memory problem to forget about the Boner Joke? Made at the expense of Peter Maximoff's character, who was played by Even Peters. Wandavision built up all this hype around the idea of Mutants being the MCU and let theories run afoul. Disney didn't even try to dispel the rumors and as to not get everyone's hopes up, but instead said what were you expecting and FUCK YOU to X-Men Fandom as if Disney cared about what Even Peters's Quicksliver meant to us. Adding salt to the wound MCU fans said that Quicksliver sucked and thought the Boner joke was a masterpiece of cinematic comedy writing on pare with Monty Python and the Holy Grail, when in actuality a sucker punch to Foxverse X-Men fans in order for them to get them hooked on Disney+.

I'm not saying you can't like Wandavision or the character of Wanda, Vison or any Marvel character for that matter.

I don't trust Disney and you shouldn't either. They don't give a shit about the characters. Or at least ye forget about other controversies surrounding Marvel's productions that aren't even a year old yet.

Loki series making Loki a shell of his former self, disrespecting the fandom surrounded him and the mutli layering subtext of colonialization, abuse, queerness, and imperialism. Also making the colonizer the good guy and writing off King Odin imperial conquests across the nine realms as 'good' painting Loki's actions as king of Asgard as cowardly and unbecoming of a king to let the nine realms rule themselves. Just shrugging all that interesting intersections of conflict within Loki as Loki being a selfish narcissist. Yeah...I'm sure that isn't going to upset fans at all.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. CEO Bob Chapek said: "interesting experiment," by only releasing Shang-Chi on Disney+ unlike "Black Widow," "Jungle Cruise" and "Cruella" would have both a theatrical release and be released on Disney+. When Shang-Chi was ground breaking in terms of Asian rep at a time when its really needed.

I could go on

Queerbaiting. Racism. Sexism. Imperialism. Classism. American Exceptionalism.

The blatant and disrespect in Wanda and Pietro's backstory just making them Nazi and anti-romani sentiment said by Wanda's actress. MCU/Disney being a propaganda arm of the military-industrial complex. Disney trying to go back to the Hollywood System and blacklist Scarlet Johansson. Obliviously taking a Miles Morales's story and plastering it on Peter Parker and also taking his poverty, which quite frequently showed up in his storylines, not even address it and its no longer a problem. Taking the entire plot of Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse and making it suck.

I could write whole essays on each one of theses topics. In fact I have! I wrote a 20 page essay on how the US media promotes US imperialisms aboard focusing in on the Afghanistan and Iraq war. I featured the MCU quite heavily in that essay.

Personally, I've stopped watching Marvel movies after seeing Infinity War at the drive in. I was constantly looking at my phone wondering 'when the fuck is this movie going to be over with?' I was bored out of my mind and I didn't care about the plot or the characters. On some levels I liked that they interacted, but I still preferred their individual movies instead of end of phase 2 or whatever it is for the climax. MCU is basically a tv series on the sliver screen, we just been doopted.

There was a time that I enjoyed Marvel movies, but I just don't care anymore. If your wondering theses are my favorite marvels in no particular order: Black Panther, Antman and Wasp, Captain America: Winter Soldier, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, and Thor.

If the rumor is true that Charles is going to be facing Wanda and then has his neck snapped. I expected the MCU to do no less with their treatment for the Foxverse characters.

The X-Men are canon fodder in order for the MCU's characters to look more powerful. Which I don't care for.

THEY DON'T GIVE A SHIT.

All they care about is making money and if they have to make soulless, lifeless husks of the characters, Charles, Erik, Peter that I hold dear. I want no part of it.

Now if you ask me. For all their flaws, the X-Men movies have soul and are well produced and Disney cannot take that away from me.

201 notes • Posted 2021-08-27 01:54:40 GMT

#1

We must all remember that Erik Lehnsherr maybe a badass and hard on the outside, but he is all soft, warm, and gooey on the inside. Will protect his children, Charles, and Mutantkind. Not necessary in that order.

Magneto will protect his own!

226 notes • Posted 2021-04-17 01:21:15 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[winchest09]

Join The Bunker Party

Guess what’s back? Back again? 

April’s Bunker Party is here!

The Men of Letters Headquarters will be the location of a Bunker Party once again this April and I am SO excited to see your darling faces, hear your wonderful voices and just have a fun filled evening. We are also celebrating a WHOLE YEAR since we first started doing these! Time flies! 

SO! Come and join me, and a few of my already confirmed wonderful friends and authors on here, for the event of the month! Going LIVE this SATURDAY (April 17th, 2021) on Jitsi!

Yes…SATURDAY. I know we normally do these on a Friday but due to circumstances changing in personal lives, it is now being held on SATURDAY.

You can join the Bunker Party in all manner of ways. Video, audio or just using the chat function! If you wish to remain anonymous, that option is available too. You pick your name when you enter. I will provide the link details on the night.

We’re cool with whatever you’re comfortable with!

We can talk fanfiction, writing, talk about the SPN cast, cons, favorite episodes, play games, have a ton of laughs and a hell of a frickin’ good time! Maybe you can even persuade some of the regular livestream guests to sing and dance, they’ve done it before! If you have any suggestions, please let us know!

How to join?

If you’re using your phone - you will need to download the free app to join us.

If you’re using your laptop or PC, just use the link provided on the night!

It’s that simple!

Timezone Information:

Los Angeles: Saturday 17th @ 12PM New York: Saturday 17th @ 3PM London: Saturday 17th @ 8PM Paris: Saturday 17th @ 9PM Melbourne: Sunday 18th @ 5AM (we know - timezones suck and so do daylight savings!)

Guidelines for the evening and tags are below the cut (so I’m not clogging anyone’s dash)

Guidelines:

This chat is HATE FREE.

Drink alcohol responsibly. It’s fine to have a drink if you wish to but please don’t get intoxicated while on the streams. We want the live streams to be a place of fun and laughter, but also a place where people can ask us serious questions and receive honest and heartfelt answers.

Please don’t ask personal and direct questions to livestream participants. I.E sexuality, personal experiences, lifestyle choices, religion, ETC. This puts people on the spot and not everyone may be as open as you are (if you are). We want everyone to feel comfortable whilst participating in these streams.

Let people speak. Do not talk over one another when a question is being answered. If you have something to add; an opinion, an idea or a suggestion, please let the person finish speaking first. On Jitsi there is a chat function and a raise hand function, please use these to save talking over each other. We want to hear everyone and avoid anyone suffering from sensory overload; this can take away the enjoyment of the streams. If these rules are broken, we reserve the right to kick you from the stream for the remaining participants safety.

Be mindful and respectful of others.

Any questions? Please do not hesitate to get in touch with me! I’m super excited and I hope to see you there!

Tagging those who participated last time & forevers. (If you could signal boost, that would be fab! Thank you!)

Who may be interested in joining:

@libraries-and-coffee /  @savior-adriana  / @jules-1999

Joined last time:

@waywardbeanie / @whatareyousearchingfordean / @jensengirl83 / @superfanficnatural / @soaringeag1e / @janicho88 / @downanddirtydean / @carryonmywaywardcaptain / @sams-sass / @flamencodiva / @deangirl93 / @anathewierdo / @emoryhemsworth / @anaelsbrunette / @impalawrites / @defenderrosetyler / @wonder-cole @that-one-gay-girl / @katelynw93 / @chocolateheart / @anotherspnfanfic / @440mxs-wife / @abuavnee / @lovealways-j /  @zooaliaa / @carolinabeauty6298 / @akshi8278 / @thinkinghardhardlythinking / @torn-and-frayed / @our-jensen-ackles-love / @watermelonlipstick / @catching-up-with-kayla / @deanwinchesterswitch / @msmarvelouswinchester / @calaofnoldor / 

Forevers:

@katehuntington / @waywardbeanie / @chocolateheart / @deanwanddamons / @whatareyousearchingfordean / @deandreamernp / @smol-and-grumpy / @talesmaniac89 / @jensengirl83 / @wonder-cole / @atc74 / @flamencodiva / @superfanficnatural / @janicho88 / @suckmyapplejacks / @emoryhemsworth / @malfoysqueen14 / @anaelsbrunette / @teresa-67 / @miss-nerd95 / @tatted-trina6 / @msmarvelouswinchester / @that-one-gay-girl/ @akshi8278 / @lyarr24 / @phantom-soilder / @daughterofthenight117 / @donnaintx / @hobby27 / @jesseswartzwelder / @mrswhozeewhatsis / @iwantthedean / @i-make-questionable-choices / @briagallen / @snffbeebee / @dean-winchesters-gardian-angel / @amandamdiehl / @couldabeenamermaid / @thefaithfulwriter / @stoneyggirl / @afangirlsbubble / @spnbaby-67 / @lynne1993 / @tranquility-or-chaos / @markofdean79 / @miraclesoflove / @cpag7 / @s-ravenall / @broiderie / @death-unbecomes-you / @igotmadskills / @deangirl93 / @sams-sass

Phew!

Get those fics/blogs ready for recs, get your own ideas ready to share - I can’t wait to hear them!

#the bunker party #april 2021 edition #dean winchester #sam winchester #supernatural fandom #castiel #supernatural family #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural creations #come and join us #tell us what you're working on #the bunkers first birthday

[buckysforeverprincess]

Winter Wonderland-Christmas

Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: 1185

Warning: So much fluff and happiness!

A/N: Merry Christmas!!! As promised, the update is a lot earlier so I hope you enjoy it! This one is a lot longer than the others because there was a lot to pack in and it was a special moment between our favorite couple, as you can tell by my edit, they are having a great day! Hope you enjoy today’s installment and a shorter update will be back tomorrow. Enjoy your day, everyone!!!

“Morning, my love,” you kiss a sleepy Steve whose eyes are slowly starting to open. “Merry Christmas.”

“Mmm…,” Steve rolls over and wraps you in his arms. “Merry Christmas, my beautiful wife. Sleep well?”

“Always when I’m next to you. You ready to get up and start the day?” You ask, as levelheaded as possible, wanting to give nothing away even though you’re already excited for the gift exchange.

“I’ll get the coffee started.”

Twenty minutes later you and Steve are seated in front of the tree, coffee in hand, gazing at all the gifts encircling it.

“We did good this year,” he comments and grabs a present, sliding it over to you.

“That we did,” you reply and hand him a gift from you. “Let’s get started but save that box for last,” you point to the one that holds his extra special gift.

“Okay, ‘cause I have a special one for you too,” he winks and the two of you begin opening presents one after the other.

“Thank you so much! I loved every single one of them,” you kiss Steve’s lips softly. You were both surrounded by lots of opened gifts, the living room a mess of torn wrapping paper.

“There’s two left.”

You look around the tree and only see the one present you have for your husband.

“I only see one,” your brows furrow in confusion.

“Come with me,” Steve stands and holds out his hand. You take it and he helps you up, leading you over to the door. He hands you your coat and opens the door, guiding you outside. “Close your eyes,” he says as you’re about to turn the corner to the garage.

Doing as asked, you close your eyes and Steve places his hands on your shoulder, slowly moving you through the snow. He comes to a stop and you can feel him wrap his arms around you from behind, his breath tickling the back of your neck.

“Okay… open them.”

You open your eyes and immediately go into a state of shock.

“Merry Christmas, baby!” Steve says in your ear and kisses your cheek.

“Oh, Steve…,”

Sitting in the driveway is a white 2020 Land Rover Discovery. The same vehicle you had fallen in love with when you went to the dealership at the end of November to have some work done on Steve’s older Land Rover. You mentioned to Steve that it’d be nice to have a new one but had no idea he would actually entertain the idea, but he had. This was such an amazing gift and you couldn’t believe this was happening to you.

“Holy shit, Steve!! I love it!!” You turn around and wrap your arms around his neck, jumping up into his arms.

“I knew you would! I love you, beautiful. Thanks for putting up with me for all these years and the hell of being the wife of a Special Ops Captain. I know that’s not easy and I appreciate you so much,” Steve says with some raw emotion and you could swear he’s crying.

You break the hug and kiss him passionately on the lips. Even in the cold, it makes your body all warm. Nothing is better than being wrapped up in the man you love.

“Wanna take it for a drive?” Steve asks, holding out the keys in his hand.

Smiling brightly, you begin to nod and then shake your head, “No! I mean, yes! But I have something for you! Come back inside!” You grab his hand and quickly drag him back into the house.

Once inside, you throw off your coat and head to the tree, picking up the gift and moving to the couch, motioning for Steve to come and join you. With a smile, he sits next to you on the couch, waiting for you to hand him the present in your hand.

Inhaling deeply, you place the gift in his lap and bite at your lip. Steve shrugs and begins to open it excitedly but pauses when he removes the lid of the box.

“What the…,” Steve trails off and picks up the picture the two of you took on Santa’s lap. In it, Steve is all smiles as the camera captures the moment. However, the man donning the red suit has his finger over his mouth in a “shhh…,” motion, his other arm around you and pointing to your belly, where your hands are placed signaling a heart. Steve was clueless to what was happening, and you were so thankful Santa was happy to go along with your planned surprise.

Steve looks up from the box, his blue eyes begin to tear up. “Is this… are we?”

“There’s more.”

He looks back into the box and takes out the next item, a chalkboard baby announcement.

“Our family is growing by two little feet and one heartbeat. Baby Rogers coming 2021, oh my god!” He exclaims, happy tears falling down his face.

“Merry Christmas, Daddy,” your hands are gently placed on your stomach.

Steve sets the items down and wraps you up in a hug. “This is for real, right?! We’re having a baby?!” He says against your neck.

“We’re having a baby!”

Steve pulls back and kisses you then slides off the couch, kneeling in front of you and starts to kiss your belly. “I can’t believe it! Daddy can’t wait to meet you!” He continues to pepper your stomach with kisses.

“Well, you got a way to go, we’re only ten weeks right now. Baby is due July twenty third.”

Steve looks up at you, a smile never leaving his face. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!” Still excited from the news.

You reach down and cup his face with your hand. “Because I needed to be sure. We’ve been trying for so long without success and many negative pregnancy tests, I needed to be positive we were absolutely pregnant before I got your hopes up.”

“Thank you…,” Steve comes up and meets your lips in a kiss, “...you really are an amazing wife and are gonna make the best mom ever!”

“Did you see the onesie?”

Steve shakes his head and you grab it out of the box, holding it up for him.

“Oh, that’s adorable but it won’t fit me! I plan on telling everyone we’re expecting!” Steve takes it and pulls it close to his body in a hug. “Is that why you were looking at the Land Rover?”

You chuckle. “Yes. I thought it’d be nice to have a new vehicle… something more family like that I can drive, and since you love yours, I thought I might like to have my own.”

“I think everything worked out perfectly. Merry Christmas, my love,” he kisses you again softly and then kisses your stomach.

“And Merry Christmas to our little miracle.”

“Our Christmas miracle,” Steve says into your stomach. “Daddy already loves you and can’t wait to meet you this summer. This is the best Christmas ever!”

“Every Christmas with you is the best.”

Steve nods. “Coming next year… Baby’s first Christmas!” 👶🏻🎄

Tags:

@thefanficfaerie​

Forever Tags:

@jamesbarnesappreciationclub​ @kruscht​ @palaiasaurus64​ @breezy1415​ @sarahp879​ @supernaturaldean67​ @averyrogers83​ @scarlettsoldier​ @lovely-geek​ @titty-teetee​ @patzammit​ @geeksareunique​ @peaceinourtime82​ @leosandbuckysgirl​ @the-goddess-of-mischief​ @mychemicalimagines​ @awkwardfangirl2014​ @collette04​ @notyourtypicalrose​ @onebatch--twobatch​ @miraclesoflove​ @kcd15​ @xxloki81xx​ @death-unbecomes-you​ @thatfanficstuff​ @hotoffthepressfics​ @chuuulip​ @unlikelygalaxygiver​ @lancetuckershairgel​ @babypink224221​ @shield-agent78​ @the-real-kellymonster​ @caplanreads​ @inkedaztec​

#Steve Rogers #steve rogers x reader #winter wonderland challenge #thefanficfaerie #christmas au #christmas fic

[myngxy-sue]

I posted 7,129 times in 2021

189 posts created (3%)

6940 posts reblogged (97%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 36.7 posts.

I added 9,360 tags in 2021

#art! - 1579 posts

#yummy food - 1556 posts

#obey me - 1301 posts

#reblog - 1185 posts

#weirdcore - 746 posts

#dreamcore - 741 posts

#lucifer obey me - 632 posts

#obey me lucifer - 627 posts

#anime gifs - 564 posts

#retro anime - 429 posts

Longest Tag: 126 characters

#that was when i was reallly into the rock afire explosion and my favourite artist for this fandom had a tumblr so i joined too

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Manspreading is when a man stretches his physical body to take as much space as humanly possible

84 notes • Posted 2021-05-29 01:56:27 GMT

#4

It's funny until you remember that Lucifer can't even trust his brothers to protect his privacy and it's heavily implied that he's insecure about his body.

96 notes • Posted 2021-08-01 01:22:35 GMT

#3

I want to kiss Lucifer so much that he gets annoyed with me and sends me away only to miss the kisses and want more but he's having a one on one battle with his sin so he refuses to be open about his desire for the kisses.

99 notes • Posted 2021-01-02 16:29:48 GMT

#2

Lucifer adopting teenage!MC after they try to sell their soul to him

Yeah, this came right the fuck outta nowhere.

-You didn’t really think things through when you decided you wanted to sell your soul. Your home life was hell and you believed anything would be better than staying with the people in your life for much longer. 

-After doing just enough research to do the summoning properly and finding the right time so they wouldn’t interrupt, you begin the ritual, not really caring who or what you summoned.

-After what felt like hours, you successfully complete the ritual and you manage to summon the Avatar of Pride himself.

-At first, Lucifer was quite vexed about being summoned. He was a very busy demon and he deemed most humans unworthy of making a pact with him. You certainly felt his irritation and were beginning to have second thoughts.

-But once he laid his eyes on you, his temperament changed. Through keen observation, he noticed so many things. You were young, maybe a bit too young and clearly being mistreated. Lucifer began to wonder what someone like you wanted from him.

-After mustering up the bravery, you finally reveal your intentions to the demon and he fairly quickly refuses your offer.

-“A bit too young to be doing something so risky, don’t you think?” -You plead with him, offering as much as you could even though you didn’t have much to begin with. But no matter what, he was firm in his refusal to buy your soul.

-In a bout of desperation, you open up about your home life in hopes that his pity would move him to change his decision. Unfortunately, nothing would sway him.

-“I don’t usually do this for a human but perhaps we can come up with a compromise.” 

-His idea was to find a proper home for you. Lucifer didn’t intend on keeping you since he already had enough to look after back in Devildom. But you would stay in HoL with him and his family until he found people worthy of keeping you.

-Of course, you gladly accepted. Just anything to get away from your current situation. And so, he takes you home. 

-Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and you were still in HoL.

-It’s been a while since Lucifer last went searching for suitable guardians. Whenever he came back, he’d go on about something he found unbecoming of them and thus they were unworthy of keeping you.

-While no one said it outright, you knew that you were there to stay. But you liked how your life turned around.

-Your new life at HoL wasn’t perfect of course. No one is. But you felt like you belonged with these people, that they loved, respected and treasured you. That was more than enough for you.

117 notes • Posted 2021-07-29 21:30:35 GMT

#1

Sheep MC just sat there doing nothing except being cute and the whole world fell in love

184 notes • Posted 2021-04-03 05:44:22 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #long post

[girlactionfigure]

In "Long Walk to Freedom", Nelson Mandela said:

"No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite."

~~~~~

His tombstone has no name.

He was called "a man of a great many ethics, and very intense about his human rights beliefs, causes he could never put down."

Before his journey, however, he did and said things he would later regret.

He was born in 1943, two days after July 4th.

Growing up in a conservative environment on military bases in Georgia and South Carolina, he admitted he was a "white racist" and a homophobic.

“I spent most of my life putting others down,” he said.

He was part of the crowd shouting, "2 - 4 - 6 - 8, we don't want to integrate."

He said he "idolized the Confederate flag . . . [it was] a symbol of the past and the way things were and they should still be. Not necessarily slavery, but the white of white—the right of white oppression.”

He also subscribed to the myth that “to be gay it meant that I had to wear a woman’s dress, I had to molest little children, and I had to go in bathrooms and watch people.”

“I had a low self-image of myself. So if I could have someone who was lower than I was, the Black American… even . . . Jewish people in general . . . as long as I could put someone else down, then I wasn’t the lowest person on the totem pole. So I spent most of my life putting others down.”

“I’d use the word queer and fag*ot and put gays down,” he admitted.

~~~~~

"He followed his father’s footsteps into the Air Force in 1963 at the age of 19 and served three tours in Vietnam," according to writer David Roza in June 2021's Task and Purpose military news.

Despite the beliefs he grew up with, he became a hero.

He earned a Bronze Star for killing two Viet Cong soldiers attacking his post while he was on sentry duty, according to the Washington Post. He later earned a Purple Heart for being wounded after stepping on a Viet Cong land mine.

At that time, he still was wary of anyone different than him and still believed in the stereotypes he grew up with.

In the military, outside in the world, however, he started questioning his previous beliefs and those stereotypes.

He became friends with a Vietnamese interpreter and learned about other cultures. 

He then became friends with a Black colleague. 

After getting to know his Black friend, he told himself, “‘he’s different, he’s not like the rest.’ And then I met another Black who was different, not like the rest, and then another one who was different, not like the rest. Until I began to look around and see so many different individuals.”

He also started learning about himself.

"Over time, his bias against homosexuals began to fade, along with his bias against African-Americans, who he found himself serving alongside and taking orders from during his time in the Air Force," wrote Roza.

“One stereotype after another stereotype started to crumble,” he told The New York Times.

Learning about others led him to learn more about himself.

He realized he went to Vietnam to prove he was masculine, he said, but instead he became something more.

He found the courage to be himself.

He said he always knew, but had continued to deny it.

“In September 1975, a stunning issue of TIME magazine hit the newsstands,” according to writer Kay Tobin Lahusen. “On the cover was the photo of a young man wearing his Air Force uniform."

“I am a homosexual” read the title in bold under the airman’s uniformed portrait.

"His name tag said 'Matlovich'."

Leonard Matlovich. 

The Peace Page has previously shared stories of Leonard Matlovich, but this story includes some rare insights, including words from Matlovich himself.

~~~~~

When Matlovich appeared in Time, “It marked the first time the young gay movement had made the cover of a major newsweekly,” according to author Randy Shilts in his 1993 book "Conduct Unbecoming", about discrimination against lesbians and gays in the military. “To a movement still struggling for legitimacy, the event was a major turning point.”

“Even the most hardened homophobe had to take pause when he reviewed Matlovich’s record,” Shilts wrote. “Credentials such as a Bronze Star, a Purple Heart, and twelve years of outstanding service meant something that civilians could barely imagine.”

Matlovich's media appearances had a big effect on America,” according to David Addlestone, a lawyer with the American Civil Liberties Union. "He was a patriotic, conservative middle-class war hero. He destroyed the popular myth of homosexuality."

Matlovich, the LGBTQ rights pioneer, was the first gay service member to purposely out himself to the military to fight their ban on gays, and perhaps the best-known openly gay man in the United States of America in the 1970s next to Harvey Milk.

He was “inspired and guided by gay rights pioneer Frank Kameny, who had been looking for a test court case to challenge the military’s ban on homosexuals," according to Making Gay History.

“He … was the epitome of a perfect soldier, one of those people that stuck his neck out, and he was proud to be the person to challenge that law,” Jeff Dupre, a longtime friend of Matlovich, told NPR in 2015.

He “was the kind of serviceman the air force prided itself on,” according to writer Naveena Kottoor.

When he finally came out, at the age of 30, he was  warned that he would be throwing “away 13 years of military service and a pension", according to Addlestone.

When “an Air Force attorney asked him if he would sign a document pledging to ‘never practice homosexuality again’ in exchange for being allowed to remain in the Air Force,” he refused.

He replied that “he couldn't live a lie" any longer.

In October of 1975 - despite his exemplary military record, tours of duty in Vietnam, and high performance evaluations - Leonard Matlovich was ruled unfit for service and discharged, according to Back 2 Stonewall.

“In 1980 he finally won reinstatement, which he declined; the Air Force upgraded him to an honorable discharge,” according to "Gay Alternatives".

~~~~~

“Throughout American history, LGBTQ+ citizens have fought to defend our rights and freedoms -- from the Founding of our nation to the Civil War, from the trenches of two World Wars to Korea and Vietnam, and from Afghanistan to Iraq,” said Secretary of Defense Lloyd J. Austin III in the Opening Remarks at DOD Pride Month Event, June 9, 2021.

“They fought for our country even when our country wouldn’t fight for them . . . Even as some were forced to hide who they were… or to hang up their uniforms.”

~~~~~

Matlovich’s case inspired other enlisted gay and lesbian people to fight for their right to serve, including Navy officer Vernon E. “Copy” Berg, according to Making Gay History.

“Matlovich’s LGBTQ activism did not end with his court case. He lent his voice and influence to several battles against homophobia: Anita Bryant’s anti-gay crusade; California Proposition 6, which sought to ban gay and lesbian teachers from public schools.”

In June 1987, Matlovich was one of 64 demonstrators arrested protesting the White House’s AIDS policies,” according to the Washington Post.

“He also contributed to the founding of Affirmation, an affinity group for LGBTQ Mormons, and forced Northwest Airlines to end its discriminatory policy regarding passengers with AIDS.”

“Matlovich [is also] lovingly memorialized on the AIDS Quilt."

In June 2019, Matlovich was one of the inaugural 50 American “pioneers, trailblazers, and heroes” inducted on the National LGBTQ Wall of Honor within the Stonewall National Monument (SNM) in New York City’s Stonewall Inn, the first U.S. national monument dedicated to LGBTQ rights and history, and the wall’s unveiling was timed to take place during the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots.

~~~~~

Matlovich said that his fight was inspired by Dr, Martin Luther King, Jr. whose portrait he had in his home.

"He explicitly gave credit to the black Civil Rights Movement, and Martin Luther King Jr. specifically, for giving him more courage to understand that gays were a minority group and they had not just the right, but the obligation to fight for their own rights," said Michael Bedwell, Matlovich's best friend and estate executor.

Dr. Martin Luther King said, "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere", which his widow Coretta Scott King reminded everyone of, when she spoke out for gay rights.

In an interview with Studs Terkel, Matlovich said, "the debt I owe to Black Americans, and probably the debt that America owes to Black Americans, probably will never be repaid. Because they have shown us that through perseverance and determination, the laws can be changed, and attitudes can be changed.”

It inspired him to be a race relations counselor, easing racial tensions in the service. 

"He was brilliant at it," said Bedwell.  "At his discharge hearing, one of his supervisors that was African-American testified he was one of best race relations instructors they had."

Some of his strongest supporters were Black.

"Out of the 20-some witnesses that came on my behalf, there were three white witnesses and about 19 Black," Matlovich said. "And it seemed—to me, it was a little shameful to me that, I remember back in my white racist days, that the very individuals who I put down came to my aid when I needed it the most. I guess people can forgive and forget, and people can change . . . You’re never too old to change and to become enlightened and to change."

~~~~~

Matlovich said the most difficult part of his journey was having to tell his parents, especially his father.

“He cried when he first heard about it. It’s, it’s hard to have a child that’s gay in America today because they are so discriminated against.”

But, in the end, he supported his son, saying, “If he can take it. I can.”

The picture attached to this story from Making Gay History is 19-year-old Leonard Matlovich, center, at his Air Force induction, May 1963. At right is his father, Air Force veteran Leonard C. Matlovich. Credit: Courtesy of the Matlovich Family.

~~~~~

“Just to love and be loved, I think is very, very beautiful,” Matlovich said. “And that parents growing up today will give our little children guns, and we are very proud of them when they play Cowboys and Indians and run around. But when they show emotions and, and love. . . people get uptight, and they’re so afraid that their child may, may love. It’s very sad.”

Growing up and realizing he was gay, he said in an interview with the New York Times in 1975:

"I cried. I wept, hoping it would change. I believed absolutely that homosexuality was terrible and degrading."

In the interview with Terkel, he said:

“Jesus said that you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. And I believe that truth is who you are and what you are. And once you know those things, you are set free. And once you can accept who you are and what you are, then you can love others. You can’t love others until you love yourself, and as long as you hate yourself you’re gonna hate others.”

In his last public speech before he died, Matlovich tearfully said, “I want you to look at the flag, our rainbow flag, and I want you to look at it with pride in your heart, because we too have a dream. And what is our dream? Ours is more than an American dream. It's a universal dream. Because in South Africa, we're black and white, and in Northern Ireland, we're Protestant and Catholic, and in Israel we're Jew and Muslim. And our mission is to reach out and teach people to love, and not to hate. "

~~~~~

Matlovich said, “I knew, for example, that when Americans went to the Vietnam Memorial to remember and honor those who gave their lives fighting that horrible war, it never occurred to them that some of those who were the strongest, bravest and most heroic were also gay.”

He was buried with full military honors at the Congressional Cemetery in Washington, D.C. The inscription on his tombstone, which he wrote himself and is meant to be a memorial to all gay veterans, has no name. 

It simply reads:

"A Gay Vietnam Veteran"

and the words . . .

"When I was in the military, they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one."

~~~~~

“It’s a crazy mixed up world we live in," he said,  "when we’re rewarded for killing and hating, and punished for loving."

~ jsr

The Jon S. Randal Peace Page

[intoevernightfanfic]

This snippet is from my E / MA rated Nanami/Tomoe AU Courtesans. In this scene, she's just met Tomoe and being quite bold asking for his help. I'll begin releasing it on AO3 starting November 12, 2021!

Under cut for mention of Nanami's line of work.

--

“I know it’s asking a lot of you, and if you don’t want to have sex with me, then I don’t know what to do for you in return, but… I really want to know how to get back to the mundane world.” She gripped his sleeve tighter, barely registering his wide eyes and stunned gaze. “I’ll...I’ll even pay you. You’re my only lead in two years.” As pathetic as she felt right now, as embarrassing as it was, her eyes began to sting. Oh, gods, she was going to cry in front of this man. How unbecoming -- to beg her client, to cry in front of him, to offer him money.

#kamisama hajimemashita #kamisama kiss #kamisama kiss fanfic #my fanfic #kh courtesans

[shortkingzuko]

title: loves’ cold embrace

relationship: hama/kanna

mentions of canon typical violence

summary: She misses the chill of the tundra, the crashing of the ocean and the shattering screams of icebergs colliding. She misses the soft embrace of caribou fur and leather in her parka and the softer embrace of the woman she was stolen from. She misses the howling winds that used to sing her to sleep as they passed over the great iced plains, and the gentle voices of her family as they laughed and needled each other. The ocean that used to live in her chest is now a desert, barren and dry. -- OR;Like the moon in the sky, Hama's love never really leaves her.

this is the fic i wrote for @avatar-rarepair-exchange-2021 :~)

read it on ao3 (and get the rest of my tags and notes) or read it under the cut !!

Hama doesn’t think too much about her childhood. It makes her feel too mournful, too angry, too beholden to feelings that, at her age, her heart can’t afford to feel. What few memories that do creep into her consciousness are so wrapped in nostalgia and childhood innocence that Hama can’t even recall if they’re real or fabrications of what she wishes she lived. Certainly, she had caught fish with her family, but were the nets ever as lively as she remembers? Was her girlhood parka truly that soft and was that wind actually so forgiving against her cheeks? Hama doesn’t dwell on it, simply letting the fuzzy memories tumble in her head, comforting, warm, forgotten and ignored.

There are two memories, two days, which consistently force their way to the forefront of her mind, drawing her attention and draining her energy. One, of course, is the day she was taken from her hold, stolen, like an amputation performed without so much as a strip of leather to go between her teeth. And in contrast to the searing pain of that one, the other is much kinder. Softer, warmer, more friendly in its own way.

At the age of fifteen Hama was proud and kind and bored, days of choring and practicing and schooling all blending together into barely distinguishable slush, finally broken by the announcement that a girl on a boat with a blue sail was approaching. Almost half the village rushed to see the newcomer, and Hama pushed her way to the front of the crowd, only a few heads behind the chief and other warriors, just in time to see the girl pulling her boat up the icy shore.

Her face was sharp and her lips chapped from weeks uncountable at sea. Her clothing was familiar but strange, the patterns and beading not quite right, the shade of the leather just a bit off, but almost recognizable. Her boat was wrecked but its pieces would be salvageable for other things, and the chief softly told her that her trip was a one-way one. Hama could never forget the fierceness that laid behind the girl’s eyes, the determination in her voice as she said, “I know.”

She brought news of the location of Fire Nation ships, bags of leathers and dyes and scrolls that had been unseen in the South for decades, and perseverance that seems to infect everyone with whom she spoke. Her name was Kanna, she was from the Northern Water Tribe, and, to Hama’s delight, she was here to stay.

    In the weeks that followed Kanna’s arrival, Hama can barely separate herself from the older girl. Everything about Kanna was just so interesting - the stories of her travels, the few morsels that she would share of her life in the Northern Tribe, her laugh, the way she styled her hair, the different ways that she tried to fish - everything about her made Hama want to cling to her and never let go, like the barnacle at the haul of a ship. To her delight, Kanna didn’t seem to mind. Anytime Hama called to her from across the village square, Kanna would always wait, smile back at her, unmoving until Hama caught up and they could both continue on their day.

She doesn’t recall when they shared their first kiss, or who first pressed their lips against the other. All she remembers is the warmth of her cheeks after it happened, how her lips tinged, and how excited she was when it happened again. Was the tone playful? Was it shy? Was Hama pretending to be cooler, more mature than she actually felt? (Hama knows, almost for certain, that the latter is correct.)

Hama knew that she was beautiful, knew that she was smart and impressive and that many other teenagers would fall over themselves to try and keep her attention, and yet it was Kanna’s sly smile and gentle gaze which made Hama feel weak in the knees and made her feel like the ocean lived inside her chest. They shared soft kisses, giggling in-between the press of their lips. They slipped each other’s hands into the sleeves of the other’s parka, embraced each other tightly and often when they were supposed to be working. Kanna’s hands were strong - as evident by her ability to haul even the most lively nets out of frigid water and by her tendency to make the string on bows just a bit too taut - and yet she only ever cupped Hama’s face with the utmost care, running a calloused thumb over Hama’s lips, and only ever playfully tugging on her ears to get her to hurry up. The gentleness itself was not uncommon - Hama remained beloved by her family, her friends, and her waterbending teachers, even with the exciting arrival of the Northerner - but when it came from Kanna it felt more special than Hama cared to admit.

It was a sweet, simple existence, one that Hama was tricked into believing could exist forever. Black snow may fall, fish populations may dwindle, and one by one, Hama’s teachers and family may disappear, but surely she would be next to Kanna forever.

Of course, that was a belief that Hama soon realized to be false.

The Fire Nation prison was a pain like nothing Hama had experienced before. Beyond the chains that dig into her skin, and the sharp sting of hands and batons against her flesh, and the endless jeers and insults that the scum that keep her confined throw at her, there is an ache, one that dulls with time but never leaves. The distance from the ocean, from her ocean, pulls at her heart and at her core, begging her to return, seemingly uncaring that if she could, she would. For the first months and years, the moon seems to taunt her through the skylight, staring down at her, unhelpful and cruel in her judgment.

The only pain worse than unbecoming, the twisting and dimming of self, is the reformation that follows it. The destruction of all Hama once knew about herself, the bending and breaking of who she was and its eventual obscuration. In a way, it’s freeing. In a way, it feels like damnation.

Hama thinks back to the girl who grew up in the South Pole and the girl who sat and rotted in a cell. She feels like a distant friend, a playmate she outgrew but loved dearly. The line which connects herself to that woman of the past is tenuous, well-worn, threadbare, yet still intact. She picks up the mantle that that girl left behind and carries it with her, ignoring the aches and pains that the weight of it gives her. When Hama escapes the prison, she’s so parched she can’t even cry as she mourns for herself.

She escapes, but she cannot leave. She has neither a ship to sail nor the sea legs that she once did. When the moon dips below the horizon it takes her strength with it and she is back to her weakened state. Even if she could get a boat, Hama wouldn’t be fit to waterbend home for many months, maybe years, and she knows that without it she will surely die at sea. The thought is almost tempting.

Being away from her home fills her with many emotions. Fear, shame, confusion, anger, longing. She misses the chill of the tundra, the crashing of the ocean and the shattering screams of icebergs colliding. She misses the soft embrace of caribou fur and leather in her parka and the softer embrace of the woman she was stolen from. She misses the howling winds that used to sing her to sleep as they passed over the great iced plains, and the gentle voices of her family as they laughed and needled each other. The ocean that used to live in her chest is now a desert, barren and dry.

The Fire Nation itself is as much a prison as the cell she escaped from, but as Hama decorates the house she built with trinkets and blankets and as many splashes of blue as she thinks she can afford. She convinces herself that it’ll have to do for now. She gains some of her strength back, bids her time as she forces a smile to the citizens who would hang her by the neck if they knew what she truly was. She gains their trust, even delivers a few babies that will grow up to slaughter the innocent. It’s not a home, not peace, the life she carves out for herself, but it’s enough to survive on.

Hama focuses on her anger, letting it simmer in her chest, flowing through her like the tides, waxing and waning with the moon. She has neither nation nor family in the destructive land that she lives in, has neither home nor comfort nor love to soothe the piercing ache in her chest and soul. All her joys are temporary, fleeting, ending when she feels the urge to turn to her mother or siblings or Kanna and has to accept, once again, that they are not next to her. Hama holds onto her anger like a beggar grips a silver coin, edges cutting into her palms and dirt getting into her wounds. She holds onto her anger because she knows without it all she has left is the stillness of the ocean after a storm.

Even the half-life Hama carves out for herself doesn’t last forever. The little waterbending master shows up, with a face so similar to her dear Kanna’s, and beats her at her own game. There is a whispering pride to any master that is bested by a student, but mostly Hama is tired. Burned out and smouldering. The Fire Nation takes her away in chains once again, and Hama disgusts herself with how quickly she resigns to her fate.

Guards spend little time with Hama, and she’s kept at a distance from the windows. Still, the stone tomb that they keep her in echoes, and soon she hears whispers of the war ending, the prospect of future peace out on the horizon. Hama doesn’t know how to feel, knowing that the world may enter a time of peace and that she is still locked away like an animal. Perhaps the Southern Water Tribe will be able to flourish again. Perhaps a small part of her spirit can finally rest.

She figures that whatever the future holds, she will not be privy to it. The Fire Nation was all too happy to lock her up and throw away the key, and Hama doubts anyone back home remembers her enough to ask after her - even so, anyone she knew who is still alive probably thinks she’s dead.

And yet, she gets a visitor, soon after the guards have whispered about a  boy taking the throne. The visitor walks to her cell without fear, looks at her through the bars with sadness, not disgust. His eyes are familiar, and Hama knows that he is from the Southern Water Tribe before he announces it. She doesn’t dare call what ignites in her chest hope, even when he tells her that he’s chief.  Hakoda of the Southern Water Tribe. It echoes in her head, like the dripping of a tap that hasn’t been turned off.

He comes back more than once, all within a few days of each other. Each time with sadness and respect in his eyes, telling Hama about the political ongoings of the world, of their home, of Hakoda’s family. Apparently, the little waterbending master that sent Hama to her new cell is Hakoda’s daughter, a fact he tells her embarrassedly, asking for forgiveness.

Hama shrugs. It’s too hard to be angry without hope to do anything with it.

“Will you continue to visit?” Hama asks, instead of answering. “I hear that negotiations are coming to a close.”

“Where did you hear that?”

“Oh, you know. At the market.” Hakoda cracks a smile at her attempt at a joke.

“That’s actually what I was meaning to tell you,” He says, shifting on the stool that he sits on. Hama raises a thin eyebrow. “Part of the negotiations are about you.”

“...Oh,” Hama says.

“It’s… tricky,” Hakoda continues, either oblivious to or ignoring Hama’s silence. “The Fire Lord, Zuko, uh, is worried about what some of his new ministers will say if he allows your release, and it’s complicating-”

“Release?” Hama questions, furrowing her brows.

“What? Of course, release. We’re trying to get all the surviving Water Tribe prisoners back. Your case is just a little more… controversial, so it’s taken some time to sort everything out.”

Hama almost laughs. “And, supposing it takes much longer?”

Hakoda looks ashamed as he says, “If it takes much longer to sort out, then I will have to return home with the prisoners that have already been released, but I’m not abandoning you here. We have to leave delegates here to deal with other reparations, and we’ll make sure that you coming home is always a priority.”

Hama doesn’t know what to say to that. The prospect of returning home after so long, it excites her, fills her heart with a flurry of anxious joy that can’t be tamped down, regardless of her attempts to remain practical.

“Unless… you don’t want to come home?”

“Of course I do,” Hama snaps, despite her best efforts. “Of course I do… I want nothing more.”

Hakoda smiles, tiredly, and Hama feels her age when she looks at him and sees a young man who is worked down to his bone. “As long as you do, I’ll keep fighting for you.”

Hama smiles, and in the heat of her cell, she feels the comforting breeze of home. “Please, Chief Hakoda, tell me about Kanna’s beading again.”

    The chill of the Water Tribe greets her like an old friend, long before she can see the land. It nibbles at her old joints, makes her nose and ears pink with delight, and Hama puts off slipping the donated parka over her head for as long as possible, relishing in the welcoming sting of the wind. The anorak isn’t hers, of course, and the fit is a little off, but Hakoda tells her that his mother -  her Kanna - can help her sew a new one, and as soon as everything is settled the hunters will go out to hunt.

Hama spends as much time on the deck of the ship as she can, knowing that she’s certainly getting in the way of all the warriors and deckhands who are too polite or pitying to ask her to move. She doesn’t want to miss the first sign of land, the first sign of  home in countless moons.

It feels like her heart is being returned to her chest when she spots the first mountain peak, the first thin trail of smoke from a friendly hearth, and then the first gleam of packed ice forming familiar igloos. When they finally reach the shore and, amongst the crowd of faces peering at her with admiration, confusion, sadness, anger, and joy, she spots the unmistakable face of Kanna, it feels like her heartbeat has finally been returned.

It’s a strange shock, to see the face that she thought of so often so different from last she saw it. Everything about her is different; her hair, her skin, her clothing, even her height has changed as a consequence of her more hunched form, and yet she is still the most beautiful woman that Hama has ever laid her sights on.

Hama has so little hope, she refuses to waste it on the implausible notion of returning to Kanna. It is clear that Kanna has lived a full life without her, she has a son who is chief, two lovely (if annoying and persistently optimistic) grandchildren, and the respect of the entire village. The girl in Hama’s memories is not the woman wrapping her arms around her, not the woman pulling Hama into her chest and crying into her shoulder, not the woman whispering thanks to the spirits as she exclaims how much she’s missed Hama.

Being back in Kanna’s arms feels the same as it did to see the glistening mountains from the sea. It feels like coming home. Kanna leads her back to her home, grasping her arm the entire time, and tells her that they’ll start building Hama her own house soon, but in the meantime, she is welcome to stay with Kanna’s family.

“I believe your granddaughter will object to that,” Hama says. Kanna nods.

“Yes, she will,” Kanna replies, the love in her voice unmistakable. “If her remarks get too snide, let me know and I’ll make her wash the dishes for a month.”

Hama is right- Katara displeased with Hama’s presence in their home, as is Sokka. But Kanna’s firm gaze and Chief Hakoda’s unsubtle attempts to pull them off to the side for conversations keep the children’s tone from getting too snippy and makes them bite their tongues most days. The anger and fear are mostly gone from their gazes and it is the memory of the last encounter in the Fire Nation that fuels their emotions. Sometimes when Hama wakes suddenly in the night, and patters out from Kanna’s bedroom trying to calm her heart rate, she’ll see Katara or Sokka, hunched by the fire. In those moments, they share a quiet moment of understanding, a moment of recognition, of being souls who are hurt and have hurt more than their bodies ever wanted, and the children seem extra conflicted when the day finally comes.

Hama doesn’t fault them for it. She’s a little pleased that they’ve latched onto the relief that comes with vengeance, how  right it feels to dwell on past anger. Kanna scolds her when Hama explains her philosophy to her, says that it’s no good to dwell on the unchangeable past instead of the influenceable future.

“What good is looking towards tomorrow if you don’t remember the injustices of yesterday?” Hama asks, stretching out her hands that are stiff from sewing. The fabric of the Fire Nation was so thin and delicate - almost uselessly so - and it’s difficult to transition back to sewing the thick materials of the south.

Kanna hums as she considers Hama’s question. This is a new development, to Hama at least. The Kanna of her memories was quick as a whip, her words always at the tip of her tongue, ready to fly out as soon as anyone else had stopped talking. This Kanna, in contrast, tends to consider what has been said before speaking. She mulls things over before replying, taking her time to come up with important answers.

“There’s a difference between remembering and dwelling,” is what Kanna opts for. “You don’t need to keep the fire in your chest burning any longer.”

Kanna sets down her needle and reaches out to grasp Hama’s hand. Her grip is firm and Hama knows that it is full of love.

“You have me to warm you now.” And while that doesn’t erase the years of turmoil that Hama has lived, while it doesn’t uncloud her sight with cynicism, in this one regard, Kanna is right.

    They’re both worn and weary, Hama knows, in different ways. Gone is the softness that used to surround them, the air of innocence that falsely clung to them, as it does to all children in a war, the optimistic spark in their eyes that betrayed the facade of realism that they tried to put up. They’re both old now, more cynical (Neither of them  really trust the child that now sits on the Fire Nation throne, regardless of what Kanna’s son and grandchildren say), and there are so few worlds left for them to venture together. Sometimes, Hama wonders what could Kanna possibly think to achieve, with her gentle touches and kisses filled with light.

Still, Kanna walks with her, arm in arm, as they go through the village. Kanna sits with her in bed in the mornings as they wait for a pot of water to boil for their breakfast. They weave blankets and stitch clothing together, and each time Kanna makes sure to scoot her chair over so that they’re pressed close to one another.

Hama isn’t foolish enough to think that she and Kanna were fated, but she does concede that perhaps Kanna has always been it for her. The distant glow of the horizon, the glint way off in the future beckoning her closer, the sparkle of possibility, maybe it’s always just been Kanna.

Kanna’s lips are no longer plush and smooth; they’ve become wrinkled and thinner with age, but they’re no less soft, and they hold no less love than they did over fifty years ago. When they press against Hama’s own lips, they press with as much care and joy as they did when both of them were more youthful, and Kanna still sneaks kisses to Hama’s cheeks at the moment before they leave their home to go outside. As if Hama would ever try to stop her if she knew they were coming.

The tenderness, the softness, with which Kanna holds her is enough that sometimes Hama can fool herself into imagining that they’ve had a long life together. That they’ve never been apart since that day that Kanna dragged her boat up the shore and filled Hama’s heart with light.

Hama has lived an entire life away from her beating heart, an era where her love was not by her side. She holds no false illusions - Kanna has also lived a life without Hama. One that was full of love and tragedy and life and death. She has a beautiful and headstrong family to prove it, has the respect of the whole tribe and enough wit to make sure that everyone knows it. Kanna got the chance to share her love with others, while Hama spent years half-wondering what could have been, wondering if their love could have lasted, wondering if she truly loved the beautiful girl from the North or just loved the idea of being in love with her. An entire lifetime of wonder and worry and pain, only to be soothed by Kanna’s unspoken assurance that their hearts will henceforth beat as one.

She is too old to imagine a grand future of adventure anymore, too old to want that future as well. The future she wants is one of peaceful walks and holding hands until she has to let go because her joints ache. A future of asking for help to braid her hair, and of feeling Kanna’s rough, gentle hands as they caress her face and neck while collecting all the strands. Grinning when she feels gentle lips press against her neck before she finishes getting dressed. Feigning interest in the indecipherable speech of toddlers and impressing children with simple waterbending tricks. Laughing at the antics of young men with egos that are too large and laughing at the young women who still swoon over them. Cooking for a family. Being part of a family. Seeing a smile before falling asleep.

Hama is too old to be an optimist but she thinks she has a pretty good shot at finally living the life she wants.

#m #my fic #avatar rarepair exchange #hama/kanna #hama #kanna #atla

[magicalgirlsandcerulean]

Ep. 10's blog post

This blog post, with Hori's second entrance, is dated 15th June 2021. Spoilers below, as always!

Notes before we begin:

For those of you who didn't check out ep. 9's blog post, see tweet 2 on that for more info about one of the characters of the day.

Due to the unintended delay on this post, I've tried to translate more completely than usual and that caused the release of this post to be postponed by another day...Sorry. Even still, consult the actual post for proper placement of emojis, coloured text etc.

This time, just for efficiency's sake, I skipped a lot of the honorifics because Hori refers to Takara, Tina and Tsumahara as -san. I've only left it in for "Balle-san" (a one-off) and when other people refer to Hori as "Hori-san" (as opposed to when Hori calls himself "Hori" with no honorific).

Also, an advance note that you'll probably want to cry when Hori pulls out the crying kaomoji. (I wanted to cry at two points when he did, at least.)

CR translations were used where I could chase them up.

Post title: バリバリのバリの禁忌其の拾！

The Very Vigorous Taboo No. Ten! [T/N: バリバリのバリ (baribari no bari) has some obvious repetition in Japanese, so I had to try convey that in English as well, even though small!Takara is more "working hard" than "vigorous". The final "bari" is a Hakata dialect thing - we already know Hori is from Fukuoka, so that fits. I had to translate the title because this phrase appears later on.]

皆様、お世話になっております。

Everyone, thank you for taking care of me. Fairy蘭丸〜あなたの心お助けします〜で雅楽代 寶 を演じております、堀 曜宏と申します。

I am called Akihiro Hori, who voices Takara Utashiro in Fairy Ranmaru ~We Will Help Your Heart~. 又の名をジャガイモ堀堀です、本日は何卒よろしくお願いします。

Also known as "Potato Digging Hori", please kindly take care of me today. [T/N: "Potato digging" = jagaimo hori, so "potato digging Hori" = jagaimo hori Hori. It also makes reference to the ep. where the kids dug up potatoes.] 禁忌其の拾『快楽』熱かったですね！！！

Episode 10, "Hedonism", was passionate, wasn't it?!!! 今回は寶さんの二回目のお当番回ということで、本編を見返しながら楽しめるような感想を主観ですが、勢いと共に書かせて頂きたいと思います。

This time was Takara's second focus episode. Although we see [elements] that recur from the original story [ep. 5], the impressions we are able to enjoy are subjective and so I will write with fervour. 開幕は女王チームとの密談からSTART!!

We START by opening the curtain on the queen team's private talk!! [T/N: "Queen team" = Queen + Houjou (+ sloth).] シリウスについて女王からせっつかれている寶さん。

The Queen is pestering Takara about Sirius. 座長…誰の台詞が麩菓子じゃい！！！！

Leader...whose lines are fugashi!!!! [T/N: Fugashi are a type of Japanese sweet. There are sweet potato fugashi, so I assume this is either a typo or a pun on a similar word. If it's a pun, the word is likely to be おかしい (strange, suspicious, unbecoming).] [T/N 2: The line below suggests "leader" (zachou) = Ranmaru, so this sentence would be referring to Sakata.] でも生配信で話している時の堀からは想像できないと思いますが…実は普段の堀は、どうやら寶さんの女王様に対する話し方くらいのらりくらりでみんなと通話しているらしく、このシーンをみんなで見てる時、ざちょ「堀さんだ」草「堀さんだねぇ」なんて言われながらみんなに笑われておりました。

However, while the stream was happening, I couldn't imagine this, but...to tell the truth, the way I usually speak to everyone is like Takara's non-committal way of speaking to the Queen, so when everyone saw this scene, the leader [Sakata] went, "That's Hori-san," and Kusano went, "That's Hori-san, isn't it?" without saying anything and so everyone laughed. 電話が切れた後の豊穣さんと女王の会話から、寶さんのお父上が夭聖界にとって如何に大事な存在だったかがわかります。

After the call was cut, we learn how important Takara's father is in the fairy world from Houjou and the Queen's conversation. そんな豊穣さんからの厚い信頼に応えるように、どこかのお姉さんへお誘いをかける寶さん…

While proving worthy of Houjou's kind confidence, Takara is asking a girl out somewhere... お相手の名前、ayakoさんって面白い名前だなぁと思ってたら、堀気づいちゃいました。[T/N: The source text, as you can see when you pause the ep. at the right time, is meant to say "[at sign]yako", but the at sign was tripping the "mention a user" function in Tumblr, so I had to swap it out with a lowercase A where it appears in this post.]

His partner's name is "ayako", which I thought was an amusing name. これ、あやこって読むんですね！！！（アハ体験）

This is read "Ayako", isn't it?!!! (a-ha moment) そしてはい、きました、 バリバリのバリのショタカラさん！！！！（人間体）

Also, we got to see him, the very vigorous sho-Takara!!!! (human form) [T/N: Literally "we got to see him" was "[he] came", LOL.] [T/N 2: Sho-Takara = shota (prepubescent boy) + Takara.] あまりの可愛さにコメントも騒然としましたね。

There was an uproar in the comments that he's excessively cute. 回想シーンでは以前も登場した、弁護士さんと寶さんの関係も明らかになりました。

The relationship between the lawyer, who's appeared before this flashback scene, and Takara is also made clear. 弁護士さんも元夭聖、しかも寶さんのお父上とただならぬ関係だったみたいです。

The lawyer was also from the fairy world and had a strong relationship with Takara's father. 幼い寶さんは弁護士さんからどんな風に人間界の生き方を仕込まれたんでしょうか…

What sort of way of living in the human world did the very young Takara learn from the lawyer...? 半裸シーツで肌に���をおった姿のショタカラさんが、窓の外を見上げながら「いつかきっと… 」と呟く様子にその壮絶さを感じます。

The half-naked and wounded sho-Takara, looking out the window and whispering, "Someday, surely..." [gives off a] heroic feeling. [T/N: I couldn't use the CR quote for this because that's translated more in context, as just "someday".] 寶さんのエセ関西弁は、この弁護士さんに仕込まれた影響だったんですね。

Takara's fake Kansai accent is acquired from the lawyer's. そして現代に戻ったと思ったら、 飛んで火にいる子猫ちゅわん！

Also, when we think we've returned to the present, a kitten jumps into the flame! [T/N: This translation builds off the CR version of the line, "Like a kitten to the flame!"] 今回の依頼人、ティナさんの登場です！！

This time's client, Tina, appears!! 「ちょっと何言ってるかわからないんだけど！」

"Oh, please! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" 寶さんこの時のっけから飛ばしまくっていたので、堀はこの台詞がツボに入って笑いを堪えるのが大変でした。

Takara, at that time, couldn't help but send her flying from the beginning and it was difficult for me because I was trying not to laugh - there was "tsubo" in my lines. あいも変わらずスマートに名刺を渡すも、「世界で一番惚れてる男のところに連れてって！」とピシャリ。

Even after [Takara was] as smooth as ever and [handed] over the business card, she refused with "Take me to the man I love most!" [T/N: The word for "smooth" here is literally "smart", but "smart" doesn't seem to have the right connotations.] …どうやら今回の依頼人も、一筋縄ではいかないみたいです。

...apparently, this time's client seems very straightforward. 『快楽』ﾁﾘﾘﾘﾝ

"Hedonism" *ring ring ring* 寶さんはティナさんをお子さんのお迎えに連れて行き、そのまま2人を仕事場へと送り届けます。

Takara brought Tina to her child and, without a pause, brought those two to [Tina's] workplace. 仕事場ではみんなでティナさんのお子さんをあやしていたり、同僚の方のティナさんのダンスへの信頼に、思わずいい職場だなぁと感心する堀でしたが。。。

At the workplace, everyone comforted Tina's child and Tina's colleagues had confidence in her dance, so I admired, without thinking, how good of a workplace it was... そこに現れる父親、妻原さんですよ！！！！！（ﾌﾝﾇｰ‼︎）

Then the husband, Tsumahara, appeared!!!!! (Barbarian!!) [T/N: There is no confirmed reading of this name, so it might be "Tsumabara".] 前回のうるう回の久二さんも相当でしたが…勝るとも劣らない圧倒的なそれ…っ！！

He's equivalent to last time's (Uruu's episode's) Kyuji...but [Kyuji] overwhelmingly compares favourably to that guy...!! お子さんの顔も見ずにお金をせびるのみならず、ティナさんの一張羅のコートまで…！！

Not only does he demand money without seeing his child's face, but he also goes as far as taking Tina's one good coat...!! ちょっと申し訳なさそうにして受け取るのがまた、なんかもう…っ！！

The fact he looks a little apologetic as he receives it is just...!! だのにティナさんは、頑張って稼がなきゃって…″家族″のためにって(′つω；｀)

Despite this, Tina must try her hardest to make money...for her "family". (′つω；｀) その言葉は、お子さんに対してだけじゃなくて…うわぁああああ！！！

Those word aren't just for her family...uwaaaaa!!! 次のカットで妻原さんは貰ったそのお金をギャンブルに突っ込んでました（遠い目）

In the next cut, Tsumahara pushes the money he received into gambling. (distant eyes) この時の寶さんのモテポイント、 「姉さん、そろそろ出番でっせ」は何も見なかったように落ち着いて投げてあげて、 それでも見られたくない所を見られちゃった、というニュアンスが返ってきたら 「こういうことする俺、格好ええや���？」と冗談まじりに茶化しながら優しさを渡す。

This is the time Takara is popular. He says, "Dearie? I think you're on." He calms down and gives up as if he never saw anything, but even still, after he returned [from seeing her exchange with Tsumahara] with a nuance of "he saw what he did not want to see", he would joke gently, "Aren't I cool for doing this sort of thing?" and poke fun at himself. この機微がモテる大人のテクニックなんですよ…！！

This subtlety is a technique popular with adults...!! 見てくださってる男性の皆さんにも是非取り入れていただきたい…なぁみんな！！？

Any men watching should certainly take in this [advice]...yeah, everyone?!! 堀は後十年は修行させてください(′・ω・｀)

Please train me [in the art of love] for another 10 years. (′・ω・｀) はい、一方BAR Fは今日もカレーです。

Yes, at the same time, there's curry at Bar F today too. 前回のラストが熱い…！展開だっただけに、皆さんあれからどうなったのか、眠れない夜を過ごされていたと思います。

The conclusion last time was intense...! I'm sure everyone had a sleepless night wondering what happened after that development. 何気なく水をうるうくんに渡す焔くん 、 何気なく焔くんを気遣ううるうくん、 照れながらも返事をする焔くん、 嬉しそうな蘭丸樹果バックン。

Homura, who's casually giving water to Uruu,

Uruu, who worries about Homura,

Homura, who blushes while responding,

Ranmaru, Juka and Bakkun, who seem happy. てぇてぇが過ぎてぇ堀は平身低頭（てぇとう）ですありがてぇ…ありがてぇてぇ！！！！

They're excessively precious and I was prostrating myself, thanking them...thanks, precious!!!! [T/N: Hori slurs several of his words in this sentence, typically てぇてぇ = toutoi (precious/noble), 平身低頭 = heishin teitou (prostrating oneself) and ありがてぇ = arigatou (thank you). He then combines てぇてぇ and ありがてぇ, hence "precious".] それから所変わってお出掛け中の寶さん、 いつも通りキスのおねだりを茶化しながら交わしていきます。

Then, in the meantime, Takara was out, as always, begging for kisses and teasing a woman. 聞こえないくらいの声で憂うように、「わいが欲しいのは、なんやろなぁ」とポツリ。

In a voice that can barely be heard, he mumbles, "I don't know what I want..." この台詞は後の展開にも効いてくる凄く大事な台詞なんですが…。

This line is very important in terms of later developments... コメントで「（カレーには）ナンやろなぁ…」って書いた人怒らないから正直に言いなさい（ﾋﾟｷﾋﾟｷ）

In the comments, there was a person who wrote, "I don't know what (curry) I want..." - please say who you are, I won't be mad *veins snap* Aパートおしまい！

That's the end of the A part! ブログでもCM入ります！情報いっぱいだよ！

This is a blog, but I'll still insert ads! There's a lot of info! ・山野ホールでライブします！（9/18だよ！）

- The live show at Noyama Hall! (On the 18th of September!) ・特典盛り沢山のBD、DVD発売します！（第1巻は６/16発売！）

- The BD/DVD is being sold, with lots of bonuses! (1st BD/DVD sold on the 16th of June!) ・キャラソンアルバムHEAVENS DOOR発売します！（同じく6/16、遂に艶歌が全部聞けるよ！）

- The character song album HEAVEN'S DOOR is being sold! (On the same day [as the BD/DVD], the 16th of June, so you can finally hear the whole enka!) てつえーさん「Nice Pole Dance…ﾀﾞﾝｽﾀﾞﾝｽ」（ええ声エコー）

Tetsuei [Sumiya]: "Nice pole dance...(dance dance)" (nice voice echo) Bパートいきます！！

To the B part!! 開幕ティナさんのキラキラポールダンスからスタート！！

The curtain opens on Tina, who starts with a sparkling pole dance!! お子さんを膝に乗せて馴染んでいる寶さん。

The child, who's on the lap of and [now] accustomed to Takara. お子さんのママ～！の声、可愛いですねぇ(´,,･Д･,,`)

The child's cry of "Mama~!" was cute, wasn't it? (´,,･Д･,,`) やはり彼のためにも、家族の為にも頑張るというティナさん。

Of course, Tina will try hard for his sake, for the family's sake. 自身の生い立ちから、家族という存在をいかに大事にしているかが伺えます。

From his own background, we can see how much he values the existence of his family. 5話の寶回の時の依頼人の恵夢さんもやはり家族のために身を粉にして働いていましたし、今回のティナさんも…。

From episode 5's Takara episode, the client, Emu, also worked assiduously for her family, so this time's Tina also... 寶さんにも金鋼族の復興のため、寶さんのため、痩せ細った体で自分の食べるものすら譲ってくれたお母さんという存在がいたからこそ、家族のために自分を犠牲にして頑張る方に複雑な思いを抱いてしまうのでは無いでしょうか。

In order for Takara to revive the Metallum Clan, for Takara's sake, Takara's mother even gave over her own food and it is precisely because of that that she became a victim of trying hard for the sake of her family and that's why Takara has such complicated emotions, is it not? しかも今回はその″家族″が不義を行っているなんて…。

Moreover, this time, this time's "family" is unjust... そしてそして！！！！！

Also, also!!!!! お待たせしました！銭湯ノルマ達成ですありがとうございます！！

Thanks for waiting! Thanks for fulfilling the bath quota!! この時流れてきた「みんなストローは持ったかァ！！」ってコメント、爆笑しました。

At this time, the comment that came about was "Everyone's holding straws!!" and so there was uproarious laughter. [T/N: It's not clear if there's just one person laughing or many, hence the intentional vagueness.] ですが今回の銭湯の中身はすっごくシリウス…じゃなかったシリアス。

However, this time's bath [scene] is amazingly serious...not (Sirius). [T/N: Hori inserts Sirius's name at the end of the sentence as a pun on "serious", so if it seemed like the translation said "serious, not serious", I did my job.] みんなの顔を眺めながら、豊穣さんと交わした特命の話を回想していきます。

After we gaze at everyone's faces, we go to a flashback scene where [Takara is] given his directive from Houjou. その中には女王に内密の話まで…そんな重たいものを背負いながら、寶さんはみんなに毎日カレーを作っていたんですね。

In that it's to the point it's kept a secret from the Queen...Takara makes curry for everyone everyday while burdened with those heavy things, huh? でも、これまで毎日みんなでカレーを食べて、銭湯に入って、愛著を集めて、日々を過ごして。

However, until now, every day everyone's eaten their curry, gone to the bath, gathered attachment and spent their days [together].

家族として一緒に過ごしてきたみんなの顔を見回した時の寶さんの顔は、優しさに満ち溢れた顔でした。

As family, when spending time together and looking around at everyone's faces, Takara's face is full of affection. この時の「楽しい時間は長く続きまへんな」という台詞。

At this time, there is the line: "The fun times never last, do they?" 寶さんのみならず、堀自身もF蘭の最終回の近さを意識しておりましたので、言葉にした時に込み上げるものがありました。

Not only Takara, but I personally realised F-Ran's final episode is near and so, while I'm bad at putting this into words, [emotions] welled up inside me. そして明らかになる妻原さんの別の家族の存在。

Then, it becomes clear Tsumahara has a different family. ティナさんと妻原さんの会話が始まります。

Tina starts a conversation with Tsumahara. もうここの妻原さんのクズっぷりが真骨頂！！！

Already, the Tsumahara from this [point in] time's true worth is basically scum!!! ティナさんがあまりにもあまりにも可哀想で…

Tina is really, really unfortunate... 「お前も俺を見捨てるんだな！！」

"So, you're abandoning me too!!" あんた、別のところでも同じようなことしとったんか…？

Aren't you the same, even though it's from a different perspective...? 絶望のあまり、倒されたゴミ袋の上で笑うしかなくなってしまうティナさん。

Without much remorse, Tina has no choice as she's left collapsed on the rubbish bags and Tsumahara laughs. そこに夭聖は現れるんです…！！

Then, the fairies appear...!! 「美人さん、お持ち帰りしてええか？」

"Lovely lady, might I walk you home?" ほんと、全人類言ってみたい台詞トップ5にランクインする台詞です…！！

Really, that's going to rank in the top 5 lines that all of humanity wants to be said to them...!! チャイルドシートを携えたいつもの車でティナさんの話を聞く寶さん。

Takara listens to the story of Tina, who's always carrying a child seat around with her. 「わかってた、利用されてるだけって」

"I knew...some part of me knew he was just using me." 「なのに、あいつがポケットに手を入れた時にさ、指輪かなって思ったんだよね」

"But when he reached into his pocket, I honestly thought it might be a ring." 「笑顔で溢れるあったかい家庭、作りたかったの」

"I wanted to create a happy family, full of smiles..." この台詞が悲痛過ぎて…。

These lines are too sorrowful... 堀は最初、思わず拳を握りしめて返す台詞をかけてしまいました。

I, at first, clenched my fists without thinking at these lines. ですがこの時、製作陣から、何より真摯に優しさを向けてあげて。

However, this time, I felt sincerely affectionate for this cobbled-together group. 頑張っている人は報われるんだよ。ってティナに伝えて欲しい、というディレクションを頂いて。

I received the direction that I should convey to Tina, "Hard work will be rewarded!" このシーンの台詞は寶さん自身の言葉で、その思いが乗らなきゃダメなんだと何度もトライさせていただきました。

This scene's dialogue is in Takara's own words and I had to try repeatedly to convey his thoughts on it. 「あなたの心、頂けますか？」 から大自然の流れでジャ…変身の時間だぁーーー！！！！！

After "Could I take your heart?", the scene changes and...it's transformation time---!!!!! 思わずナイスバルク！と声をかけたくなる惚れ惚れする筋肉。

Without thinking, I was charmed by [Takara's] muscles and wanted to call out, "Nice bulk!" 画面いっぱいに広がる肉体美と拳、地面をぶっ壊しながらあげる名乗り。

The physical beauty of his body and fists filled the screen, he broke the ground and called out his name. 格好よさが臨界点突破して美しいに昇華しとるんですよ！！！！！！！

His coolness has broken through the critical point and sublimated itself into beauty!!!!!!! 妻原さんはティナさんとあんな会話をした後だというのに、 魂が昂りながら「夢も愛もどうでもいい」なんて曰いながらギャンブルに興じていらっしゃいますねぇ…。

Tsumahara, even after he had that conversation with Tina, happily spends his days gambling, arousing his spirit as he says, "What do dreams and love matter?" バレさん、技を借りるぜ…！！

Balle-san, I'll borrow a technique of yours...!! ふざけんにょ！！！！！

Stop screwing around!!!!! [T/N: reference to Balle-san's ep. 9 post] そして始まる艶歌、五話もそうでしたが、歌詞が今回の話とのリンクして、絵の美しさも合間って没入してしまいます。

Then the enka begins - it was in ep. 5 as well but the lyrics are linked to this episode and I was immersed in the beauty of the visuals for a moment. 早くフルで聴いてほしい！！！皆様、是非HEAVENS DOORを！「愛の勘定」も勿論ですが、みんなの艶歌をフルで聴けばストーリーとのリンクが増して、よりグッと来るはずです！！！

I want you to hurry and listen to the full version!!!! Everyone, please listen to HEAVEN'S DOOR! There's "Payment of Love" of course, but if you listen to everyone's full enka, you'll [be able to make] links with the story and it will hit you in the feels!!! 艶歌が終わり、ドアが開けば今回のヘブンズ空間はまるで屏風の中に入ったかのような和風の世界。

After the enka ends, the door opens to this time's Heaven's Room, which is a Japanese-style world quite like that on a folding screen. そこに雷神と雷神を模したかのような敵が現れます。

Then, enemies that look like the well-known thunder god and a thunder god's imitation appear. [T/N: referring to Raijin] 毎回のことですが、ヘブンズ空間も本当に趣向を凝らしてあって…ど緊張のバ��ルシーンのはずなのに、思わず堀の魂���昂ってしまいます…！！！

It happens every time, but these Heaven's Rooms are really ingenious...there should've been a hugely nerve-wracking battle scene, but without thinking, my spirit was unintentionally aroused...!!! なんと今回の鍵穴にはティナさんとお子さんの2人が！

What? This time Tina and her child are both behind the keyhole! なぜわかったノルマに愛らしい声が混ざる日が来るとは。

I never thought I'd see the day where a charming voice would be mixed in with the "What? I got it!" quota. そしてもう一方の鍵穴からは妻原さんの極悪な声が…

Also, in the other keyhole is Tsumahara's heinous voice... 「人はなあ！快楽には勝てねぇんだよ！」 「酒！タバコ！セッッッ！！薬物！！特にギャンブルはなぁ！！」

"A person can't conquer their hedonistic tendencies! The pleasures of drinking! Smoking! Sex! Drugs! And gambling especially!!" [T/N: Hori censors the word "sex" by "stuttering" over the final syllable but CR doesn't, so I've sided with the latter.] 座長が現場で ハッキリ言ったぁーーー！！！ってツッコんでたのを覚えていますw

"The leader put it clearly at the time--!!!" I remember joking. ですが、言葉のパワーはもうネタの領域を超えた、狂気の世界のそれです。

However, that is a mad world where the power of words is beyond the realm of stories. その言葉に促されるように敵から酒の玉攻撃が、 そしてもう一方の敵からはヤニの煙の攻撃が。

With those urging words, the enemies send bubbles of alcohol and then from the other side comes a tobacco smoke attack. この時のうめき声のディレクションは、堀くん今○○kgの重りが乗ってるよ！！ と言われながら、体にそれに合わせた負荷をかけるように声を出していました。次の日筋肉痛になりました。

At this time, when the direction, "Groan and pretend you have a __ kg weight on you!!" was given, as I shouted, it was like a corresponding load was being added. The next day my muscles hurt. なんとか持ち堪えた寶さんですが、 「なら、これならどうかしら…」 その言葉と共に現れる寶さんのお母さんの幻想。

Takara's able to hold out somehow, but then an illusion of Takara's mother appears with the words, "Well, what will you do?" 前回もうるうくんのお母さんと焔くんのお父さんが現れましたが、まさか今回は寶さんのお母さんが…。

Last time, Uruu's mother and Homura's father appeared, so surely this time Takara's mother... しかもこんな形で痩せ細っていないお母さんの姿を見ることになるなんて…！

Furthermore, to see his not-so-skinny mother in this form...! あの優しかった声で、こちらに攻撃をかけてきます。

This is the attack that's given with that gentle voice. 押し倒されて首をしめられる寶さん。

Takara is being held down and strangled [by his mother's illusion]. この時の台詞の色気も相まって、まるで2人が繋がっているような…

Coupled with the sexiness of the dialogue at this point, it's as if the two are connected... 更に畳み掛けるようにチェリーの入ったグラスから液体を口に含み、そのマッマ寶さんの口に流し込みます。

Furthermore, as if pressing for answers, Takara's mother uses her mouth to pour liquid into Takara's mouth, from a glass with a cherry in it. 苦しさのあまり悶絶絶叫する寶さん、これは先の妻原さんの「酒、タバコ、セッッッッ、そして薬物」それらの快楽を暗喩しているのでしょうか。

Is Takara, who's about to scream and faint in agony, [being subjected to] metaphors for hedonism Tsumahara was mentioning earlier? そしてシリウスの登場です。

Also, Sirius appears. す○ざんまいのポーズって言うのやめーや！！！

Stop doing the Su___zanmai pose!!! [T/N: referring to the dude who stands with his hands outstretched from Sushizanmai] しかし今回の句には堀は思わず確かに…と頷いてしまいました。

However, this time I couldn't help but nod and say, "Indeed..." 人は何故ほんの刹那の快楽のために沢山のものを犠牲にしてしまうのか…

Why do we sacrifice so much for a fleeting moment of pleasure? むしろ刹那だからこそ、それを追い求めてしまうのかもしれませんね（哲学）

Rather, it's because it's momentary that we chase it and seek it out? (philosophising) 苦しみながらも、「俺が欲しいものはこんなんじゃない」と懸命に耐える寶。

Even in agony, Takara eagerly bears it [and says], "This isn't what I want." しかしそれも、「あなたが欲しいのは、母親からの豊満な愛情でしょう？」と、肥大化した幻想に押しつぶされる寶さん。

However, in addition to that, the illusion becomes fat [with the words], "What you want is the full-bodied love of your mother!" ニコニコのタグにもありましたが、確かに快楽要素全部乗せプレスは重い、重すぎます。

As the tag on Nico Nico said, it is true that all the hedonistic elements being pressed are heavy, far too heavy, イきかける寶さんですがなんとか力を振り絞り、幻想を押しのけます。

Takara is about to have the life choked out of him, but he comes to his senses and pushes the illusion away. しかしそれが最後の力だったのか、体が動かず追撃をかわせそうにありません…！

However, that was the last of his strength and so he's not able to move...! これで終わりか…と思ったその瞬間ですよ！！！！！

This was the moment...I thought it was the end!!!!! 最高に勇ましい掛け声と共に焔が敵の攻撃から寶を守ります！！

With a shout, Homura, who's the best and heroic, comes and protects Takara from attack!! そのまま蘭丸とうるうが雷神と風神を倒し、樹果が 「オン・アユス・ヴァルタ！」の掛け声とともにペロキャンを振って寶さんを回復してくれます。

Similarly, Ranmaru and Uruu bring down the thunder gods and, with his tongue stuck out and his lollipop, Juka yells, "On ayus valta!" to heal Takara. ここ、さいっっっっっこうに熱かったです！！！！！

This was the most intensssssssssssssse [moment]!!!!! 寶のピンチに駆けつけるファミリー達、初めての全員集合、初めての共闘！！！

This is the first time they've [run to Takara's aid and] fought as a family when Takara was in a pinch!!! 台本を読ませてもらった時は、遂にきたか…！くらいの興奮だったんですが、 現場でこのシーンを録った時、こーすけの「はぁあああああ！！」って勇ましい声が聞こえてきた瞬間、鳥肌がブワァーって！体がカァーッて！熱くなったことを強く覚えています。

When reading the script, I was exhilarated to the point of going, "Finally, they came!" and now that this scene is recorded, I strongly remember the moment Kohsuke [Tanabe] valiantly can be heard going, "Haaaaaaaaaaa!!" I got goosebumps from the passion. 蘭丸とうるうの声も頼もしくて、樹果のたからぁ～！って呼び声に癒されて。

Trustworthy Ranmaru and Uruu, and Juka healing Takara by calling out his name. こんなに頼もしい仲間達が揃って、負けるわけがないですよ！！！！

With trustworthy friends like these, you won't lose!!!! この後の飛び上がるシーンも、月を殴りつけるシーンも、高まったボルテージを思いっきりぶつけさせて頂きました！

After this is the flying scene, the moon-breaking scene and I was able to use my heightened [emotions] to the fullest! [T/N: Hori calls his heightened emotions "voltage".] そしてGO TO HEAVEN!!!!!

Then, GO TO HEAVEN!!!!! 「またすっからかんかよぉ～！」なんて言いながら、トドメを刺された時の勢いで手持ちをオールインしてしまう妻原さん。

Tsumahara, for some reason, said, "I'm broke again?!" as he's finished off while playing everything he has with an all-in due to his leftover momentum. [T/N: the all-in in poker] ティナさんの「寶さん、あなたと結ばれたかった…」

Tina: "Takara...I wish we could've been together." 依頼人からこんなに純粋に好意を向けられるなんて…寶さんも罪な人ね。

The client has this kind of pure affection [for him]...Takara's also a wrongdoer, isn't he? ですがそれは叶わない、ティナさんもわかっているからこその過去形なのでしょうか…。

However, that can't be granted, since Tina understanding him is now past tense, isn't it...? こんなにも切ないワンシーンなのに、もう1人の堀が「あなたと結バレッタ裕…」って囁いてきてもうダメです（現在朝4時）

In this one heartrending scene, too, another Hori whispers to me, "You and Yutaka Balletta ..." but it's already no good (currently 4 in the morning)

全てが片付き、夭聖体のみんなが寶さんに声をかけてきます。

Everything's wrapped up so everyone calls out to Takara. なんだよお前ら、ちくしょー、まじで、お前ら…(′つω；｀)

What the hell, everyone, damn, really, you guys... (′つω；｀) しかもうるうくん、「僕たちは、ファミリーなのだから」それってさ、焔くんのことも、みんなのことも引っくるめて″ファミリー″なんだよね…？

Yet, Uruu goes, "We're family, in case you've forgotten." That means Homura and everyone are 'family', huh...? 万感の思いを込めて「サンキュ」と一言だけ返す寶さん。

Takara returns that with a single word full of emotions: "Thank you." 寶さん、あなたの欲しかったものって、きっと…

Takara, what you really want is certainly... そして後方家族面の蘭丸、その視線の先には様子を見ていたチルカが…。

Then, from behind Ranmaru, Chilka, who was watching him out of the corner of his eye... かつて愛していると言っていた蘭丸に対して、「Go to Hell!!地獄に落としてやる！」と言い残してその場を去ります。

As opposed to [when] he said he loved Ranmaru in the past, he leaves as he [yells], "Go to hell!!" …何故和訳してくれたんだ…。そこに不穏な空気が残ります。

Why did this Japanese translation come up? This left a disquieting atmosphere. [T/N: Hori translates "Go to hell!" (ENG) as "Fall into hell!" (JPN).] 豊穣さんの「いいファミリーになりましたな」

Houjou: "They've become a fine family indeed." この一言、嬉しかったなぁ。

I was happy with this one brief comment.

第一話の時、「君たちは今からファミリーだ」 なんて言われて戸惑っていた5人ですが、今では声を大にしてファミリー蘭丸って叫べます。

In episode 1, he says, "From now on, you are family," leaving the 5 of them bewildered, but now they can yell about how they're "family Ranmaru". いや、ファミリー蘭丸ではないけどね！？山本さんのプリティミス（伏線）だけどね！？笑

No, not "family Ranmaru"?! Is this a pretty mistake from Yamamoto (foreshadowing)?! (LOL) [T/N: This is referring to Bakkun's VA Kazutomi Yamamoto. Also, yes, it does say "pretty mistake", but it's likely to be "printing mistake".] そんな中改めて十訓を厳守させよと戒める女王。

In that [part], the Queen once again demands rigid adherence of the 10 Laws. あのような過ちとは…過去の因縁はまだ根が深そうです。

A mistake like that... it seems that past fates are still deep-rooted. そしてここからが怒涛の展開ですよ皆さん。

Then, everyone, the surge in developments [happens] from here. なんとあのシルク・ドゥ・マーズから合格通知が届いたティナさん！

Tina's somehow received a notification of acceptance into Cirque de Mars! 相当頑張ってきた努力が遂に実って、ニューヨークから熱いラブコールをかけられています。

The hard work she put in has finally pulled off and she's receiving passionate calls from New York. 喜んでいたのも束の間、そこに現れたのはなんと妻原さん！！？

It was a short moment that she could be happy, and then, who would arrive but Tsumahara?!! あんたって人は、懲りずにまだティナさんに…と持ったらなんと勝ちすぎちまったから命を狙われている！？

He's still trying to teach Tina a lesson, but...he won too much and they're gonna kill him?!

それもしかして、GO TO HEAVENされた時のオールインで…！？

On top of that, what about the all-in from the GO TO HEAVEN...?! すっからかんかよォー！！じゃなかったのかよォー！！

He's not broke anymore?!! 費用も全て持つから連れて行ってくれ、なんて、うーん、ティナさんとしては助かるけど…。

He'll come along, pay for everything and, yeah, sorta help Tina out...? まぁ、イケメンだからいっか……よくないわい！！！！

Well, he's handsome...but no!!!! [T/N: reference to ep. 5] 改心して今度こそ家族になるのか、それともニューヨークでまた悶着を起こすのかはわかりませんが、なんにせよティナさんとお子さんの先行きが明るくて良かったです。

I don't know if the family has reformed properly or if they're going to New York to quarrel again, but Tina and her child's future is bright. その様子を微笑ましく見ていた寶さんの元に、一本の電話が。

After seeing the smiling child's face, he receives a call. シリウスの事を伝えていた弁護士さんから、大変なことがわかったぞ、と。

The lawyer uncovered some [information] about Sirius and it's something unbelievable. 女王の過去や！と言いながら見せた一枚の写真には…、 あ、あ、あ、あ、あアイドルユニットぉ！！？

"...the Queen's past!" he says as we're shown a photo of an...i-i-i-i-i-idol unit?!! かつて一大ブームを巻き起こした、ウィンタートライアングル。

Winter Tri-angels, who created a sensational big boom in the past. シリウス！？ベテルギウス！！？プロキオン…？

Sirius?! Betelgeuse?!! Procyon...? シリウスとベテルギウスは恐らく…でも姿が…！？

Sirius and Betelgeuse are probably...but that form is...?! そして女王の過去というのは、この写真とどう関係してくるのでしょうか…。

Also, what does the Queen's past have to do with this picture...? 女王の過去や、チルカと蘭丸の確執、夭聖界のことや、寶さんの言っていたもう一山、更にここに来てまた新しい謎が…！！！

The Queen's past, Chilka and Ranmaru's antagonism, the fairy world, all the stuff Takara said - on top of that, another mystery...!!! 本編もいよいよクライマックスに向けて、盛り上がりが止まるところを知りません。

At last, we're approaching the climax of the main story and I don't know if [the tension] will stop rising.

いよいよあと二話ですが、最後までみんなで大騒ぎしていきましょう！

Finally, there's two episodes to go, so let's get really excited until the end! Fairy蘭丸～あなたの心お助けします～ 次回『憎悪』もお見逃しなく！！というわけで、禁忌其の拾『快楽』堀の感想ここまでとなります。

Don't miss the next episode of Fairy Ranmaru ~We Will Help Your Heart~, "Hatred"!! That's it for my impressions on Taboo No. 10, "Hedonism". ここまで長い文章に付き合って頂き、ありがとうございました！！

Thanks for keeping me company [as I write] these long sentences!! 余談なんですが、大体メインキャストは一緒に録るんですが、この回の収録は実は堀が1人ブースに籠って先に録られた皆様の声を聴きながら台詞を当てておりました。

As a side note, usually the main cast would record together, but this time, I was alone in the booth, listening to the voices of those who recorded before as I added my lines. 収録が終わってからブースのドアを開けて、 誰もいないだろうなぁ、と思ってフッと休憩スペースを見たら、 なんと5 to HEAVENのみんなが残ってくれてて、映像が流れるディスプレイをずっと見守ってくれてて、 こっちを向いて堀さんお疲れ！とか、メッチャ汗だくじゃん！とか笑いながら言ってくれて。

When I finished recording and opened the booth, I looked at the rest area, thinking no one was there. Surprisingly, everyone from 5 to HEAVEN was there, watching over a video display. They turned to me and said things like, "Good work, Hori-san!" and "You're so sweaty!" so I laughed while I talked. その瞬間、堀の頭の中に寶さんのサンキュ。のシーンがリフレインして、 なんかしどろもどろになるくらい嬉しかったです。きっとあの瞬間は忘れられないです。

In that moment, the scene where Takara says, "Thank you," played again in my head and although I was [in a state of] confusion, I was happy. I will surely not forget that moment. はい、余談終わり！笑

Yes, I'm done with my side note! (LOL) 話が進むにつれて、SNSで#F蘭丸であげてくださってる実況や感想、ファンアートや、写真など、盛り上がっているのを実感しております。

To continue the conversation, use #F蘭丸 on your real-time impressions, fanart, photos etc., which will give a real feeling to your excitement. そしてそれを見ている時、堀はスマホを握りしめるくらい嬉しくなります。

Also, when I see those, I become so happy, I grasp my phone tightly. いつもF蘭を応援して下さり本当にありがとうございます。皆さんの声が僕らの力になります！

As always, really, thank you for supporting F-Ran. Everyone's voices will be my strength! 引き続きFairy蘭丸を応援の程、何卒よろしくお願いいたします！！！

Please kindly take care of me as you continue to support Fairy Ranmaru!!! このブログ書くの頑張ったからな！

I tried my best with this blog [post]! 読んでくれてメチャクチャ嬉しかったからな！

Thanks a lot for reading! 雅楽代 た～から！役の堀曜宏でした！

This has been Akihiro Hori! who plays the role of Ta~kara Utashiro! スネークバァーイ！🐍

Snake-bye!🐍 [T/N: "Snakebite Hori" joke.] ワイの魅力、皆にも伝わったかな～？

Takara: Did I convey my appeal to everyone~?

Update: Fixed the note regarding "Yamamoto". Thanks, @blankie-greenie-anon.

Update 2: Missed a sentence, improved a sentence and fixed some pronouns and other minor things.

Update 3: Improved a sentence.

#Fairy Ranmaru #Fairy Ranmaru spoilers #Akihiro Hori #Takara Utashiro

[buckysmischief]

taglist update;

happy new year everyone ! :)

this is just a check in to see who is still active & wants to continue being notified of my updates & who doesn’t

if you are currently on my permanent taglist and want to stay on it, send me and ask or a private message. if you’re currently on my permanent taglist and don’t wanna be, you can either let me know or don’t -  but if i don’t hear from you before February 1, 2021 then i'll assume you were too shy to say something, which is absolutely fine

if you do want to stay on it, all i ask is that you please interact in some way. i know and understand not every story will fit everyones taste, but if enough time has passed and i haven’t seen your username im not sure if it’s because you’re not: active, interested, or something else.

some people have told me they’re too shy to tell me what they thought - i fully understand, a simple reblog would make me smile :)

again, y'all have until

february 1, 2021

if you want to be added to my permanent taglist, it opens back up feb 1 as well

to my readers:

a huge special thanks to those of you who have supported me from the beginning and are still around. y'all sure are amazing because it’s been one hell of a ride and y'all still choose to stay?? wild, i love y'all sm

shoutout to all my new readers, words cannot describe how much happiness it brings me seeing y'all work through my master list. whether it’s one story or the whole damn thing. ive seen some of you read just about the whole thing and i have one thing to ask... are you okay?

i'm looking forward to this new year with all of you, ESPECIALLY with all this new content 

@stuckonjbbarnes @valkyriesryde @hopesbarnes @superavengerpotterstar @estillion14 @sleepingspacedragon @geeksareunique @imsoft-barnes @murdermornings @distractedgemini @screaming-fridge @readeity @whatinthyworld @my-drowning-in-time @buggy-blogs @hey-its-grey @pinknerdpanda @brokenthelovely @theannoyingnightmarecollector @death-unbecomes-you @rhymesmenagerie @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @https-bucky @also-fangirlinsweden @goalexis123 @missmeganrachel @sunflowersandcherry @miraclesoflove @matsumama @reann-loves-sebstan @sunflowerxbarnes @thefridgeismybestie @niall2017 @maddope @imagine-all-the-imagines @thummbelina @m3ga1nsp1r3d @thebadassbitchqueen @king-sebb @nerdy-bookworm-1998 @bonkyboinkybucky @slaytherinthoughts @kingkassam @anti-the-glitch-bitch @poppunkdork @dis-soek @nyxie75

#taglist update

[midnightechoes]

Daily Writing 2021: March 18th - Pride & Family part 3

Read it on AO3.

Part 1. Part 2.

Submit a prompt for me to write! (I mostly do sapphic ships, especially Catradora, Supercorp, Harlivy, Pertrapta, and Dansen)

It was an average Thursday when everything changed. Lillian had been incarcerated for almost fifteen months. Over that time she had settled into the experience, carved out a place in the hierarchy of the prison population, somewhere close to the top of course. More than that, though, she had rebuilt something with Lena. It wasn’t “fixed”, per se, she wasn’t sure if their relationship would ever truly be fixed. The pitfalls of teaming up with your son to try to kill your daughter’s best friend and enslave the world, she supposed. But it was better, and that was better than she had anticipated.

On that fateful Thursday, Lillian sat in the visitation room, a chessboard all set up. The elder Luthor could tell that something was different the moment her daughter had entered the sparsely populated visitation room. There was an entirely different energy than normal. Lillian wordlessly watched as Lena strolled over to the table looking, if Lillian didn’t know better, nervous.

“Good afternoon, mother,” Lena greeted as she took her seat across from Lillian. The elder Luthor simply sat, chin perched on her clasped hands as she regarded Lena.

“This is an early visit,” Lillian cooly remarked. “Don’t tell me you were missing me so soon.”

Despite her efforts to immediately play it off, Lena had stiffened up in her chair at Lillian’s remarks. The elder Luthor took notice but didn’t immediately say anything.

“My mother craving such base flattery? Tsk tsk,” Lena snidely shot back.

“Well played, daughter,” Lillian cooly replied. She waved at the chessboard between them. “I do believe that earns you the first turn.”

A thin smile formed on Lena’s mouth. She adjusted how she was sitting in an attempt to get comfortable on the plastic chair. For a moment, Lena just leaned her arms on the table, staring at the chessboard, her mouth slightly agape.

“Don’t breathe through your mouth, dear, it’s unbecoming,” Lillian chided.

For a moment, Lena ignored the admonishment, her hand hovering precariously over her chess pieces.

“You, mother,” the younger Luthor began, taking hold of one of her pieces and making her move, “are not going to distract me.”

“Well, game on, Lena dear.”

Despite the odd mood at the start, they settled into the usual rhythm of Lena’s visits: casual banter while they played a game of chess. They managed to maintain it for almost an hour before Lena began once again acting peculiarly. She was fidgety, distracted.

“Is there somewhere else you’d rather be?” Lillian huffed as she made a move. “If you’re not going to try for real, what’s even the point?” she asked, removing one of Lena’s pieces from the board.

Lena simply stared at Lillian for a moment, then sighed. “You’re right, I haven’t been able to focus on the game.”

“I’d still be winning just as much if you were, mind you,” Lillian smirked. It made Lena chuckle.

“It’s Kara,” Lena confessed.

There was a pointed silence between the two. Lena was staring directly at her mother, doing her best to maintain eye contact, to maintain her brave face. Lillian stared back, rolling a chess piece between her fingers, her lips pursed.

“We had an unspoken agreement,” the elder Luthor finally stated.

“I’m well aware,” Lena affirmed. The raven-haired woman sat up as straight as she could, but her soft eyes betrayed her, projecting a warmness at her mother. “Don’t get me wrong, I have enjoyed the small semblance of a relationship we’ve been able to build over the last year, but you have some blank spots in my life because of our agreement.”

“Yet that relationship only exists because of that agreement, Lena dear. I am okay with having a blank spot when it comes to how you and your best friend are getting along.”

A small smile formed on Lena’s face as she ducked her head. “That’s why I moved our visit up, though. Just this once, I need to break our agreement.” Lillian was staring at her, arms crossed, a sneer on her face. “I have to because I do want you to be a part of my life, mother.

“Don’t think of her as an ‘alien’, just think of her as someone dear to your daughter.”

Lillian made a clicking noise as she rolled her eyes. “Fine.

“Out with it.”

Despite getting permission, it took Lena another moment to collect herself.

“I am going on a weekend trip to Midvale with Kara and Alex. We’re leaving tomorrow.”

“And you want me to come with you,” Lillian snickered. “Let me just clear it with the warden. I’m sure there won’t be a problem.”

“No mother,” Lena sighed. She began fiddling with her hands as the words came slow, measured. “I wanted you to know… That if everything goes well, while we’re in Midvale, I’m going to ask Kara to marry me.” That last bit tumbled out of Lena all at once.

They both sat in stark silence. It was as if the entire room had gone silent. Lena did what she could to make eye contact with her mother, gulping once or twice while doing so. Lillian just stared at her daughter, her eyes wide, unblinking.

“See, blind spots,” Lena chuckled.

“Is this a joke?” Lillian whispered.

“No joke, mother. We’ve been officially dating for nine months now, but after all the years as friends, all the time reacquainting ourselves with each other… I know. We’re in love. I can’t picture my life with anyone else.

“I don’t want to.”

Lillian remained silent for a few seconds before a soft laugh escaped her. “Every day, it seems you find new ways to disappoint this family, my dear daughter.”

There was the slightest of quivers at the corner of Lena’s mouth. “How dare you,” she breathed.

“How dare I? You’re planning on marrying an alien, and you ask ‘how dare I’?” Lillian snarled. “Of all the perfectly worthy humans in the world, my daughter has decided to let an alien stray into her bed.”

“Stray?!” Lena gasped, her eyebrows furrowing.

“Yes,” the elder Luthor spat. “Know this, Lena, if you go through with this, you’ll be making the mockery of the Luthor name.”

With a heavy huff through her nose, Lena rose to her feet, glaring at Lillian the entire way. “Fine. FINE. I didn’t come here for your approval. I don’t need your blessing. I just thought you’d want to know that your daughter is actually, finally, happy. Foolish me for forgetting that only mothers with souls would care about that.”

Lena spun on the ball of her feet, intending to leave, but Lillian called out to her, causing her to stop and look back over her shoulder to the mother. Lillian, a smirk on her face, waved her arm over the chessboard.

“Don’t you want to finish losing?” Lillian smiled.

With one swift motion, Lena swiped her arm across the table, scattering chess pieces all over the floor.

“I’m finished with your games,” she snapped just before storming out of the room.

Lillian leaned back in her chair and took a moment to rub her face. “A damn alien. I taught you better than that, daughter.”

Part 4.

#58 #daily writing 2021 #writing #my writing #supergirl #supercorp #lena luthor #lillian luthor #lillian in jail #post season 5 #supercorp: pride & family