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#90’s ninja turtles show

olli-ii · 10 months

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It's an interesting choice making all this kids merchandise with characters from franchises that were popular in the 90's when the kids wearing it have no fucking clue who these characters are.

Like sure they're appealing to the parents, but as a kid that would suck!

And the franchises that they have merch for in stores for is so limited. Genuinely, it's pokemon, bluey, various Disney, fortnite and minecraft. There's so many shows and that's all they get

#all the other character merch is 90's themed cartoon network or Nickalodeon shows.#and transformers and ninja turtles #I guess those last 2 a least get new versions pretty frequently so the kids probably do know them #but a lot is purely nostagia bait for the parents

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childofaura · 1 year

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Uh… so that TMNT Mutant Mayhem trailer

I honestly can’t tell if I feel positively or negatively about it.

Pros I noted:

>Unique visual style I can appreciate. Pretty clear they’re trying to emulate Spider-verse, but hey, if it’s popular then use it.

>They’re leaning in more towards the younger teen range and honestly that works.

>Actual animation seems pretty solid at least.

>Voice acting seems to hold up.

Cons:

>This movie’s by Seth Rogen, AKA “I’ll blame the failure of my shitty productions on white supremacy instead of the fact that my writing sucks ass”. The “permanent teen” at the beginning is NOT encouraging.

>I’m really torn on the designs. They don’t look… great but they’re not the worst thing either. Maybe they’ll grow on me.

>The characterizations seem iffy, but I’ll wait until the movie comes out to fully judge that. Like I DO like that they’re goofy kids, but also how are you gonna make their characters stand out if they’re ALL like Mikey?

>Oh gosh, please don’t let that be April. Please tell me that’s an entirely new character who gets to be her OWN character. Look, if Secret of the Ooze can introduce Keno (who is NOT CASEY JONES), but also who was a stunt double in the first movie and so well-liked by the cast that he could be his own character (and who was positively received by audiences, myself included), then this girl can be her own brand new character.

Overall, mayyyybe I’ll check it out? It doesn’t look awful but it also doesn’t look super strong as a TMNT installment.

#Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #TMNT #This movie’s kind of giving me Rise vibes and as someone who just couldn’t really get into Rise that worries me a bit #I love the first two 90’s movies; I love the 2003 cartoon with the 4Kids actors; I love the 2007 movie; and I love the 2012 show #Hell even though it sucked ass I still kind of enjoyed the Michael Bay movies to an extent #But this one really screams hit or miss #Especially if Rogen’s name is on it

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animusrox · 2 months

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TOP 10

Past Lives

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

How to Blow Up a Pipeline

Poor Things

Oppenheimer

Barbie

BlackBerry

The Holdovers

The Iron Claw

Killers of the Flower Moon

MY LETTERBOXD Grade A 11. The Killer 12. Beau Is Afraid 13. Dream Scenario 14. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 15. Godzilla Minus One 16. American Fiction 17. They Cloned Tyrone 18. Evil Dead Rise 19. Eileen 20. The Artifice Girl 21. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem 22. Talk to Me 23. Reality 24. Leave the World Behind 25. A Thousand and One 26. Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One 27. Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. 28. Theater Camp 29. Carmen 30. Merry Little Batman 31. Priscilla 32. Society of the Snow 33. Infinity Pool 34. Enys Men 35. Sanctuary 36. Rye Lane 37. Skinamarink 38. Monster 39. Anatomy of a Fall 40. Landscape with Invisible Hand 41. Reptile 42. Sisu 43. Pinball: The Man Who Saved the Game 44. No One Will Save You 45. Tetris 46. May December 47. The Zone of Interest 48. V/H/S/85 49. Dumb Money 50. El Conde 51. Arnold 52. Maestro 53. Napoleon 54. 20 Days in Mariupol 55. Influencer 56. The Creator 57. Origin 58. Thanksgiving 59. Next Goal Wins 60. The Boy and the Heron 61. Bottoms 62. Wonka

[Press Keep Reading For The Full Graded List]

Grade B

63. God Is a Bullet 64. No Hard Feelings 65. Joy Ride 66. Fair Play 67. Cocaine Bear 68. NYAD 69. Asteroid City 70. Nowhere 71. The Angry Black Girl and Her Monster 72. Divinity 73. The Equalizer 3 74. The Last Voyage of the Demeter 75. Venus 76. Butcher’s Crossing 77. Somewhere in Queens 78. The Persian Version 79. Boston Strangler 80. Polite Society 81. Miguel Wants to Fight 82. The Color Purple 83. The Royal Hotel 84. Saw X 85. All of Us Strangers 86. Fallen Leaves 87. Ferrari 88. Elemental 89. Peter Pan & Wendy 90. Renfield 91. Cat Person 92. Scream VI 93. The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes 94. BS High 95. Blue Beetle 96. Huesera: The Bone Woman 97. When Evil Lurks 98. Dark Harvest 99. A Good Person 100. Final Cut 101. Knock at the Cabin 102. Quiz Lady 103. Leo 104. Air 105. The Super Mario Bros. Movie 106. Batman: The Doom That Came to Gotham 107. John Wick: Chapter 4 108. Beaten to Death 109. The Wrath of Becky 110. Passages 111. Transformers: Rise of the Beasts 112. Gran Turismo 113. 65 114. Sick 115. Sister Death 116. The Blackening 117. Please Don’t Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain 118. Flamin’ Hot 119. Nimona 120. Cobweb 121. Totally Killer 122. What’s Love Got to Do with It? 123. Sharper 124. Unseen 125. Dunki 126. Bird Box Barcelona 127. The Marvels 128. Shazam! Fury of the Gods

Grade C

129. Wildflower 130. Freelance 131. M3GAN 132. Strays 133. Sympathy for the Devil 134. Creed III 135. Chevalier 136. The Marsh King’s Daughter 137. A Haunting in Venice 138. The Little Mermaid 139. Silent Night 140. Master Gardener 141. The Flash 142. Fast X 143. The Pope’s Exorcist 144. Saltburn 145. Kandahar 146. Stand 147. Plane 148. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny 149. Fingernails 150. Quicksand 151. Fool’s Paradise 152. Migration 153. Rustin 154. The Covenant 155. Good Burger 2 156. The Pod Generation 157. Alice, Darling 158. Insidious: The Red Door 159. Missing 160. Shotgun Wedding 161. You Hurt My Feelings 162. The Boogeyman 163. Showing Up 164. Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom 165. Champions 166. Consecration 167. The Nun II 168. Biosphere 169. House Party 170. The Exorcist: Believer 171. Big George Foreman 172. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves 173. Children of the Corn 174. The Beanie Bubble 175. Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania

Grade F

176. Anyone But You 177. Marlowe 178. Paint 179. Extraction 2 180. It Lives Inside 181. Deliver Us 182. Trolls Band Together 183. Finestkind 184. Corner Office 185. Wish 186. Prisoner’s Daughter 187. Pain Hustlers 188. Foe 189. The Mother 190. Old Dads 191. Ghosted 192. Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken 193. Haunted Mansion 194. Mafia Mamma 195. Five Nights at Freddy’s 196. The Machine 197. Justice League: Warworld 198. We Have a Ghost 199. What Comes Around 200. Legion of Super-Heroes 201. The Boys in the Boat 202. Attachment 203. Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre 204. About My Father 205. You People 206. Meg 2: The Trench 207. Pathaan 208. Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire 209. Assassin 210. Dalíland 211. Vacation Friends 2

Bottom 10

212. Sound of Freedom 213. Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey 214. When You Finish Saving The World 215. Heart of Stone 216. Family Switch 217. Expend4bles 218. Sweetwater 219. Hypnotic 220. 80 for Brady 221. Spinning Gold

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snackugaki · 1 year

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.... i have been so normal about wanting to draw tactical!Venus and tactical!Jennika.

hey. HEY. y’all need to go check out @donathan ‘s artwork, and if you are the proper age, go throw some money into their patreon for some... some real, real good art. 👀👀👀 ...but do not if you are a minor, that shit ain’t for you.

some IDW TMNT comic spoilers... and.... I guess... Next Mutation ssspoilers? I know some of you kids haven’t turtled up and watched my beloved childhood iteration yet.

alright, so, y’know, completely normal expenditure of my energy and skillset, amirite? big big thanks to @/donathan for allowing me to play around in their AU’s aesthetic because I have severe, terminal VenusAndJennikaDeserveEverythingoccocal SoIWillManifestItMyselfitis.

and tbh, all y’all’s fics have been, mwah, chef’s kiss. but SOME of you put LORE. delicious, tasty, appetite-inducing lore.

and i am nothing but the littlest hoebag for lore.

okay so, quick rundown for those who both A) are immune to spoilers B) also do not know Venus or Jennika’s origins-- bulletpoint time~!

So Venus de Milo, the “girl turtle”, the “fifth turtle” (not counting April’s extremely brief stint as a white-bandana’d turtle in the Archie comics run) was introduced in 1997′s Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation

An episode of “The Toys That Made Us” touched upon Venus’ creation so idk it’ll cover what I won’t deign to acknowledge.

her backtory is interesting (just her show was a trashfire /affectionate)

Master Splinter’s frolicking around in the dreamscape where all the cool enlightened old people hang out away from teenagers, right?

but oh no! dragon lord, a bad dude with a widow’s peak to rival Vegeta Dragonball’s widow’s peak; is there too! stomping around, ruining shit!

Splinter’s dreamscape buddy Chung I warns Splinter to stay out of the dreamscape ‘cuz Dragon Lord’s around

And like in true old people fashion, just ignores his friend’s admonition and tries to investigate himself

bad choice, womp womp

Splinter gets trussed up and rendered “stuck” in the dreamscape

cue the catalyst for Venus to make the 10+ flight from China to the U.S

don’t worry about what the boys were doing, just literal surfing in sewer grey water, breaking their little turtle skulls on cinderblocks, and picking fights in warehouses with Foot clan goons

tl;dr Venus still has Sixth Ranger mode on, so naturally she whoops all of their asses in the dark, ties them up (like how some of y’all enjoy writing Leo does huhu nudgenudge winkwink)

venusistheoriginalshibarienthusiastandteadrinkerfightme

and then, y’know, it’s still the 90s and children’s television so blah blah the usual “oH My gOd a GiRL tURTle???/?? AWoooOOogaaa ga ga ga”

it’s.... I mean, i’m 38 so it no longer strikes me as bad as just really fucking embarrassing... for them. to be written saying. fuck, at least they didn’t make her bandana color pink.

so fast forward to Venus teaching them to dreamwalk so they can go rescue Splinter from Dragon Lord’s clutches in the dreamscape.

unfortunately, Dragon Lord offscreen murders Chung I so Venus is narratively anchorless post-rescue, so she’s invited to stay with them. thus ensues wacky hijinks with their new pal, Venus Boom Boom de Milo.

I glossed over the urge to write a cumulative review of Next Mutation. Just, take my word as the target demographic of the show during the last gasps of 90s Turtlemania that TNM was a trashfire overall but... y’know... if you ever needed a palette cleanser after some grimdark or angsty TMNT content, give TNM a whirl. The slapstick was intentional and The Point in the show. Venus’ circumstances for coming was as serious as it would get.

... Also, yes, they made them not related in TNM, preteen snackugaki didn’t clock why because I watched a lot of wuxia as a kid so brotherhood is a term beyond blood ties to me (and if I’m being honest, martial brotherhood is fkkn metal) and later I heard tell that it was to lure more girls into the franchise with both a girl turtle and romance options. which idk whatevs man.

I also have to clear that, actually no, Donatello and Venus did not fight EVERY episode. Donatello, despite sprinkling a little too much barely disguised snobbery, did defer to Venus’ expertise in “the supernatural” when the situation called for it, and Venus would commend Donnie on his scientific ingenuity. They even teamed up skillsets to create surveillance drones! She essentially casted Calm Emotions on him while he tried to hack the controls of the Astro Megaship back for the In Space Rangers. They breached the divide between STEM and Humanities! They only had one “real fight" near the end of the season-- because Donnie was playing his containment breach elevator mid trash copyright strike immune proto-EDM too loud while she was trying to meditate. and that’s just being bad roommates tbh.

...christ I know it’s gonna come up too, but also NO, there was not constant advances made toward Venus during the show. At most was Mikey pulling his ol’ “I work out every day~!” schtick for like 2 episodes of the 5 spent to introduce Venus. And then after? A shipper’s desert, you’d have to dig and peer behind like 8 curtains for any viable fodder.

...OKAY NOW FOR JENNIKA’S ORIGINS: Jennika is an IDW character specifically so, naturally why she isn’t in (or would’ve been, AHEM) a lot of iterations yet (or at all, COUGH) (but to continue in honesty there’s a lot of legal tape to cut through since Jennika is IDW’s while TMNT overall is Nick’s) Introduced as a Foot Assassin, her place in the Foot Clan shifts when Splinter takes over from Shredder (Saki), eventually she forms actual bonds with both the turtles and Splinter to where it’s implied she also saw him as an important figure to her if not an outright surrogate father figure. And because TMNT is mess and drama the other 50% of the time, Karai takes over the Foot from Splinter and shenanigans compounded by Karai’s then-current machinations for the Foot-- results in Jennika getting shanked in the stomach by Karai during a clandestine meeting to resolve clan rivalry. She’s losing blood fast, Donnie works to save her and it’s Leo who volunteers for blood transfusion to keep her stable mid-transit.

SURPRISE!

Leo’s blood mutates Jennika into a mutant turtle. And then Casey ghosts/dumps her. My poor daughter. She has a real rough time of it before fully integrating with the boys. Raph falls in with Old Hob, gets hoodwinked, and now they live in Mutant Town. Jennika slowly finds herself again, as a mutant turtle, a Splinter clan ninja, a girlfriend, a guitarist in a band she started, a sister in a found family, and a constable to a very little town.

okay! we’re all marginally informed about my two wonderfull daughters, Venus and Jennika~!

so if I can indulge further, I’m going to use my cognizance and make it everyone’s problem because I have beem quietly foaming with ideas for bg lore for tactical!J&V, more bullet points!

ok so, donathan mentioned a bit about their tac! Leo and Donnie being the snipers, Mikey and Raph spotting for them while also being demolitions and heavy ordinance specialists respectively

I would think, then for Vee and Jen, they’d be classified as close quarters combat specialists, complicated extraction? compromised area? call them to clean up and clear out~

give or take “magic” being a thing used in donathan’s AU, or anyone’s AU of this AU, Vee would probably be a close combat specialist along with Jen.

Vee, I feel, would, barring a ...”tactical fan”, (even though in TNM it was just her fists and her little wizard components but her toy came with a fan so.) probably use batons, Jen in lieu of her tekagi-shuko would... most likely use tactical karambit. not that large of a leap really.

for my personal lulz, Vee and Jen are... accurate, height-wise. Raph gets to be the biggest brother since alligator snapping turtles are, in fact, the largest motherfucking freshwater turtles on the north american continent. no getting around it.

my Vee in all Rise AUs is a softshell since the messy hanzi used to write her first given name, Mei Pieh Chi (美鱉气) has the hanzi that’s most commonly translated as softshell turtle (鱉). eh ‘di wow talaga

snacku what do you mean ‘accurate’???? tl;dr female turtles are usually the larger ones in most species.

and listen, I love and I mean LOVE, how some of y’all have written the tac!boys, mwah; but god I’m a professional turtle bully. I need to see them get dunked on. for nutritional value. and if it comes to it, I will provide that food for myself. brb laughing at eventually drawing Venus just offhandedly tossing Donnie into the air to skeet shoot his ass for fun brings me the greatest joy.

they absolutely dote on Mikey, as is the natural order of things.

and even tho I stated TNM Donnie and Venus got along in the show, and depending on the existence of magic in this AU; I just really love dichotomous rivalries (in as much “science” and “magic” exist as a dichotomy, much less as “diametrically oppose” fields-- just, opposites man. i’m a simple girl with simple trope needs)

Vee’s arms (and legs) are absolutely covered in burns, scars, and missing flesh divots, just as close to swiss cheese limbs as you can be

Jen and Donnie debate tracks that go into their joint “On Our Way To Commit Murder” playlist

if Vee’s tactical look seem very familiar, and you’re wondering if-- yes, you’re correct. and you can “call her ms. de milo if ya nasty”

Vee was actually pretty calm and rational in TNM... but for this AU, she can be a little unhinged, as a well-deserved treat. (and ‘cuz that specific anime unhinged facial expression is fun as fuck to draw, which is my treat)

#giving me cognizance was a mistake #letting me learn to draw was another #I love Venus and Jennika #a HEALTHY amount I'd say #totally healthy & normal #:)#fuckin' turtles man #3 months into this new year #and it's turtles all the way back #this is why I trained for visdev #just chewing on things absently #and wondering how things would work In This World #figuring out how to fit something into an environment #a context #a situation #is my enrichment activity #not unlike #giving tigers huge slabs of meat in 3 feet of ice on a hot day #just sitting there gnawing away #until I get to the meat of it #both literally and figuratively #it's like a puzzle #that you can design the pieces themselves #but have I updated my visdev portfolio?#HAHAHA NO #TOO BUSY DRAWING FKKN TURTLES MAN #h elp #i listened to so many baddie playlists drawing this #i needa start a fight #get this extra energy out of my system

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whorbidmore · 21 days

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okay, so, I've fallen victim to the leon kennedy brainrot steadily overtaking me, following me from Tumblr to Pinterest, to Instagram and even the absolutely fucking dreaded application of TikTok. I don't even use it that often??? and the algorithm is just like 'wow, yeah, this little fuckers gay as hell send in the 40 year old meow meow!!' and having watched Death Island fairly recently, I'm gonna have my opinions on what this dude would be like. Cus my brain loves to rationalize shit and think ab 'what if this mf was someone real?' so... fuck it.

Leon Soft Kennedy Headcanons

SFW

accidentally bigoted. - im sorry but let's be so fucking real here. he's a 40 something year old man who spent the majority of his life in either the military, a police training academy in the 90's, or otherwise working under the U.S Federal System with minimal/no time between missions to unpack absolutely everything he's got going on... the guys gonna have some problematic tendencies. Obviously that doesn't mean he means any of that or is incapable of change, etc. etc., but I know for damn certain this dude would laugh a little at Bill Burr's borderline to blatantly misogynistic material and has probably chuckled unironically at the attack helicopter jokes. But, he's not a complete dick, and would definitely become more critical of those kinds of jokes if it's pointed out to him.

honest to God, Dad Without Kids™ - it's not simply enough for me to leave it at 'but it's the vibes!!' so, I'm gonna break this shit down. Leon is absolutely Gen X incarnate. I can fucking guarantee you that on his off days he accidentally ends up dressing as an undercover cop; I'm talking cargo shorts, light blue button up, those fucking standard issue boots cus "they're perfectly good shoes" and those stupid ass sunglasses... you know the ones I'm talking about. Let's say you're living with him, right? And you're... you, and you wanna watch something on TV. This dude would strain himself getting up like a turtle fallen backwards on its shell, stand up, walk right in front of the TV screen and stand there with his hands on his hips. It doesn't matter that he had to piss, he needs to get a better look of what's happening! Does those really loud, obnoxious coughs and sneezes, absolutely blows his back out doing one at least five times a year.

Only watches British Reality TV - Considering he's canonically a film buff, I'll say that this is purely for whatever he gravitates towards on general streaming services. I honestly don't see him being the type to regularly tune in to standard American cable TV, or only does so under specific circumstances like American Ninja Warrior or maybe Forged in Fire if there's absolutely nothing else. It's not something that's exclusive to Americans, — I'm from New Zealand and I do this too, — but Leon absolutely falls into the category of watching British Reality and Game shows purely because of the accents. I'm talking Jeremy Kyle, The Big Fat Quiz of Everything, Taskmaster, The Great British Bake Off and so on and so forth. It doesn't matter that baking isn't his forté or a passion of his, if Josephine curdles her buttercream by over mixing, his hands are in his hair in utter disappointment. 100% tries to mimic their accents too. We all do it, don't lie.

Has... very dated music tastes - I don't know if you could guess, but the last paragraph included me calling myself out and name dropping some shows I watch anyway or grew up watching, and I'm just saying that this is gonna be no different. If anything? This'll be worse! Since I'm very passionate about the music I listen to and have the inability to keep my interests separated from the other, of course my love of particular bands will bleed over into my interpretation of Leon's character! Anyway, all that for me to say that Leon fucking LOVES 90's grunge musicians, specifically Pearl Jam and Soundgarden, as well as early nu metal bands like Korn (their dubstep phase did not happen.), TOOL, and Rage Against the Machine — and no, he unfortunately doesn't see the irony of him being a fed and listening to Rage, — but would also have a soft spot for psych rock, post-punk and shoegaze. My man's definitely laid awake at night, sobbing without expression as he struggles to accept that Ada never really wanted him like he wanted her while listening to fucking Slowdive. My hottest take here is that he doesn't really listen to Deftones. Like he'll occasionally blast My Own Summer, Change, Bored or Rosemary, but anything outside of those? He just didn't listen to 'em. My second hottest take is that he does NOT like Slipknot, which kind of pains me 'cus I do, but I fucking bet you this dude would actually adopt one piece of "Gen Z lingo" or whatever just call them cringe. Though admittedly he would've been jamming the fuck out to Psychosocial and The Devil in I when they came out. Went off the deep end in Vendetta, obviously, and drunk-cried himself to sleep on the couch listening to Linkin Park.

Very confusing spending habits - On one hand, we all understand that Leon came from money, — he was implied to have been born into a mob family from my understanding? And I doubt he'd ever really had to worry about being fully, irrevocably broke, — but I'm sure that growing up in the U.S Foster Care System made him at least a little more cautious of where his money comes from, where it's going, what he's spending it on, etc. So, on the one hand, he's apprehensive to spend recklessly, particularly on perishables. But also, if he can drop over $100,000USD on a motorcycle that got absolutely fucking cheese grated into the road, and spend a perceived, metric fuck ton of money on designer leather jackets and massive watches, it's gonna be hard for me to call him 'financially conscious'. On one hand, he gets apprehensive on spending more money than he needs to on food since he's "just gonna shit it out later", but if he sees a cool watch or a nice suit in a shop window? Money's suddenly not an issue! Not because he's materialistic, but because the one thing he really maintains a sense of control over in his life are his possessions and the way he dresses. The D.S.O can call him in for another months long mission whenever they please, and all he can realistically do is allow the government to tug on his leash and put him where he's needed. He may as well spend their money on things he wants!

Gets out... enough? But also, not really? - So, personally I've pegged Leon as more of an introverted person, — amateurly typed his MBTI as possibly ISFJ? — so he doesn't really feel the need to go out and meet new people or really hang out with anyone. If somebody invites him out? Sure, he'll go. Otherwise, it rarely occurs to him to meet up with friends or colleagues at a cafe or anywhere. I think he'd prefer to just go there alone, mostly for the sake of having somebody else cook for him as opposed to actively seeking out the atmosphere. It's pure convience in his mind. And remember when I said in the beginning about him accidentally being at least a little misogynistic? Yeah, that was me trying to say that he regularly tries to hit on younger waitresses. Not because he actually wants anything to do with them, but simply because it's an ego boost. He likes that he can make girls half his age blush or offer him their numbers, because it tells him that he's still desirable, and ultimately, that gives him the power to reject them politely and go about the rest of his day. If they don't reject him first, of course. Admittedly, Leon's audacity towards women peaked during Infinite Darkness.

Since I'm planning on posting more NSFW headcanons for this guy, — and more NSFW kinds of posts, — here is the obligatory Minors DNI attachment. For your own safety, I don't care if what I have to say is tame so far, you can hold it off I promise.

#leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #leon kennedy fanfic #resident evil #resident evil leon #leon kennedy headcanons #babyfangs.txt #fangsfic #idk man im literally talking out my ass on all this 💀

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artoatsblog · 4 months

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What your favorite Nick toon says about you but it's EVERY Nick toon

Doug- When you were asked what you wanted for Christmas, you said "plan white bread."

Rugrats- You're a "90's kid" who wants the modern cartoon enjoyers to get off your lawn.

Hey Arnold-Same as Rugrats, but 5 time worse.

Rugrats (2021)- You only said this one to piss off the above two.

Ren & Stimpy- You're a gay man and all you OCs are ugly men who you need to kiss each other or else you'll die (This isn't an insult, you're the strongest member of our society.)

Rocko's modern life- You relate to at least one character way more than you would like to admit to others.

CatDog- Weird furry.

The angry beavers- Weird furry with taste.

Aaahh!!! Real monsters- You like the idea of Tim Burton's movies but your too cool to actually enjoy them, also your probably non-binary.

Kablam- As a kid you wanted to make something with this exact energy and now, you're a youtuber.

Oh Yeah! Cartoons- same as Kablam but you really miss Cosmo's old voice.

The wild Thornberry's- You worship the ground Tim Curry's walks on SO BAD.

Rocket power- Honest 90's kid.

SpongeBob SquarePants seasons 1-4- You're annoying about seasons 5+.

SpongeBob SquarePants seasons 5+- You know better than me about those people being annoying about seasons 5+.

As told by ginger- You were going to say Hey Arnold, but you didn't want to be lumped in with certain other people.

Action league now- You made at least five short films that look exactly like this.

Chalkzone- Your playlist for working out has the theme song for this show looped for five hours and nothing else.

The fairly oddparents- Your trans, and you hate no other person more than Elmer Hartman.

Invader Zim- You were a vary emo kid/teenager in the late 2000's (same, no shade)

Jimmy Neutron- you're really glad that that you picked the show in "Jimmy Timmy power hour" that wasn't made by an asshole.

All grown up- Come on guys "As told by ginger" is right there.

Avatar: the last airbender- I don't want to hear the lore of the fantasy book you wrote.

Avatar: the legend of Korra- Same as atla but You also made a LOT of shipping fanfics.

My life as a teenage robot- Transfem.

The X's- You don't exist, if you're going to go into the comments and say this is your favorite Nicktoon, you're lying.

El Tigre- This is just the good version of Danny Phantom.

Danny Phantom- That was a Joke don't yell at me.

Mr. meaty- You want this odd but cool type of puppetry to come back (if you thought I was going to make fun of this one your wrong.)

Tak and the power of Juju- Your enjoyment of this show is based entirely on the fact that you liked the games.

Back at the barnyard- Shitposter.

Fanboy and Chum Chum- Shitposter but awesome.

Catscratch- Yeah, I think Wayne Knight's voice is hot too.

The mighty B- Gay.

The penguins of Madagascar- I don't have a joke for this one I just think you have impactable taste.

Planet Sheen- You always wanted Jimmy Neutron to have more "Rawr XD" swag.

T.U.F.F puppy- You ether are Jerry Trainor, or you have a Jerry Trainor stan account.

Kung fu panda: legends of awesomeness- You have a three-hour lore video on this franchise, and I hope it does well.

Winx club- You wanted to help them get free from Netflix.

Robot and Monster- It may just be me, but I think you might enjoy Dan vs.

Teenage mutant ninja turtles (2012)- You don't like rise of the tmnt.

Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles- You don't like tmnt (2012).

Sanjay and Craig- You used to freak other kids out with your scabs.

Monsters vs aliens- You can deny Coverton's rizz (sorry).

Breadwinners- Your about to go into every cartoon reviewers house with a shit ton of water balloons.

Harvey Beaks- In the middle/late 2000's you were more of a cartoon network kid, you loved Cowder.

Pig, Goat, Banana, Cricket- Same as Harvey Beaks but with Flapjack instead of Cowder.

Bunsen is a beast- Your Elmer Hartman.

Welcome to the Wayne- You wrote at least one fanfic for the ending of this show.

The adventures of kid danger- We don't talk about this one.

Middle school Moguls- it's ok monster high is about to come to Nick for real.

The loud house- Your ether a sapphic girl or a straight guy with a DeviantArt account who needs to be punished.

The Casagrandes- Same as the loud house but with the added advantages, because if you have a DeviantArt account in this one you're more likely to have a normal relationship with your family.

It's pony- You don't hate the British as much as the rest of us.

Middlemost post- John trabbic III is such a bad ass name though, wait this show has Del the funky homosapien and Tony Hawk as guest stars, I might need to which this.

Star trek: prodigy- You really like Netflix original animated shows don't you.

Big Nate- You haven't read the books.

Monster high- You the perfect in-between of goth and prep.

Transformers: earthspark- Why does this show have better non-binary rep than most other shows...I mean they are called Transformers for a reason.

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dodgeballstuckonthegymceiling · 9 months

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Hello!

So I started watching ROTTMNT a few weeks ago despite my only exposure to the Ninja Turtles being a single scene of a 90's live-action movie when I was maybe 5 because the turtles started repeatedly appearing in my dreams, and my brother informed me this was the universe telling me I need to watch the turtles.

In any case, I have now become hyperfixated. Could I request platonic ROTTMNT turtle boys with a reader who is a biting insect magnet? It doesn't matter if the bug usually feeds on humans or not, the reader's blood is, for whatever reason, sweet, sweet nectar to all manner of biting insects, to the point that even max strength bug repellant doesn't always work to keep the bugs away; so reader is always getting bitten up by all nearby biting insects. To make matters worse, reader is mildly allergic to the itch juice bugs inject when they bite, and gets huge, swollen, itchy rashes from bug bites that itch for several weeks. (Reader is also an avid herper—someone who enjoys catching and releasing wild reptiles and amphibians, a passtime that involves being out and about where bugs are going to be at the times they are most active.)

My first experience with tmnt was the 2012 series when it first came out, I was like 7ish. Didn't Really get into the fandom though untill recently!

Raphael, Leonardo, Donatello and Michaelangelo x reader who's catches lizards and is allergic to bug bites

Raph

★ Whoo boy. He is so scared that you are going to get bitten by a oozesquitoe. It's not even funny. Anytime you're remotely near one he's pulling out Donnie's emergency hazmat suit (More on that later)

★ He urges you to where long sleeves and pants when you go out. Actually really likes the lizards that you catch. His favorite lizard native to New York is the coal skink because it looks a little red in the right lighting.

★ Raph's worried about your health, but that's just how he is. He will always be a bit worried about your health. Its actually pretty sweet. But please put a bandaid over the bigger bites so that he doesn't fret.

Leo

★ Leo, being the ever so intelligent person he is, decides that you're the perfect bait to catch oozesquitoes. Fortunately he is quickly shut down by his brothers the moment he voices his clearly perfect idea.

★ He keeps more than a few bottles of benadryl around the lair. Allergic reactions to bug bites wasn't something he knew about before meeting you. He's well stocked for whenever you get attacked by bugs.

★ Yes, he tried to cut a mosquito in half with his ōdachi. No, it didn't work. His weapon got stuck in a log because he put to much force into the swing.

★ He might get a little jealous over the lizards. Especially if you start talking to them. "look at you, handsome little guy!" And "oh, you have beautiful coloration" all prompt his jealousy. "Why don't you talk to me like that :'("

Donnie

★ Your blood seems to be irresistible to blood-eating insects, bug spray or not. His quite perplexed by the whole situation. Are you sure you used bug spray and not sunscreen?

★ His fear over you getting bitten by an oozesquitoe mixed with his tendency to plan things out in advanced led him to make a emergency hazmat suit for you in the turtle tank.

★ The amount of times he's had to put calamine lotion on you because you had gotten bit by bugs is way too high. To be blunt, he thinks you should stop trying to catch random lizards. Or at the very least cut down on it.

★ But then again, the look on your face when you catch a lizard and show him it is really cute. Especially when you explain to him what species it is and where it likes to hide during the day.

Mikey

★ Knows next to nothing about lizards, which is surprising because he's a reptile. If you have any books on wildlife he would like to borrow them to read up on New York's reptile population.

★ When you get bad allergic reactions he brings you to Leo. He would carry you but he probably can't because he is smol. Mikey loves animals but he doesn't love mosquitoes because of the effect they have on you.

★ He joins you whenever you try to catch lizards. Mikey loves to give the lizards you catch different names. Whenever you go out he brings a jar of dehydrated mealworms for whatever creature you catch.

#rottmnt #rottmnt imagines #rottmnt x reader #rottmnt headcanons #tmnt #tmnt x reader #Raphael #raph x reader #leonardo x reader #Leonardo #Donatello #donatello x reader #michelangelo x reader #Michelangelo #raphael #michelangelo headcanon #Raphael headcannon #Leonardo headcannon #Donatello headcanons

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hermit-searching · 1 month

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TMNTposting Raphael edition (Part 2):

Part one can be found here. I really wanted to talk about my favourite little guy but I didn't feel like I had enough space to get all my thoughts down in the last post. So technically the entirety of part 2 is dedicated to 87 Raphael.

When asked who my favourite version of Raphael is, my answer is always a tie between 03 and 87 Raphael. I'm probably biased because they're the versions of Raph I grew up with, well 90s movies Raph is also in there but I really don't remember enough about the movies besides the Ninja Rap scene and I haven't rewatched it yet. The point being, 03 Raph tickles that itch for "more traditional Raphael" while 87 Raphael...I kinda just vibe with the little guy.

At face value he seems about as much of a traditional 'hot head' Raphael as Rise. Neither of them really fit into the "explosive temper" territory as 03, 12, 07 or the original Mirage comic Raph. He's a silly little dude. He likes playing dress-up, stand up comedy, and acting. Of all the versions of Raphael, he's definitely the most 'kid-like'. He's childish, he'll heckle his buddies for laughs, he even tells Shredder to go suck a lemon in the first episode. He's hilarious! But that type of comedy usually ends up getting him, and the other 87 turtles lets be real, into crossovers that horribly mischaracterize the poor kid.

As much as I loved TMNT 03, Turtles Forever is such a disservice to what TMNT 87 was, and who the 87 turtles are. 2012's second crossover with 87 also follows the TMNT 87 hate train, and it's so frustrating as a fan of most TMNT media. I get that the OG cartoon was super silly and tame compared to the others at face value, but every time someone says this I need to remind them it's 1) a cartoon from the 80s, and 2) lowkey really dark the more you think about it.

Such as:

-every time slavery is brought up and a plot for some other planet

-the entirety of the Red Sky seasons

-the humans of TMNT 87 always threatening to eat and or shoot the turtles because they're mutants

-the whole mutant hate sentiment being an allegory for the civil rights movement

But this is a post about Raphael. He's definitely still a funny little dude. But a lot of his humor stems from sarcasm and his cynicism towards the world. Raphael, is well aware humans are not fans of him or his compadres, and often sides with Donatello whenever he and Leonardo get into arguments about helping the humans. Their human friendship circle pretty much just ends with April and that's a dubious friendship at best since they're more or less a bridge towards her next scoop. None of them are really fans of Irma, Casey rarely appears, and the other human characters in the show are usually trying to turn them into kebabs until Dirk Savage the Mutant Hunter which already kind of says enough for itself.

This poor kid is honestly the bravest little dude. More often than not he'd rather run from a fight, or push Michelangelo into one for him. He's scared a lot, really giving off those youngest sibling vibes that are rare for Raphael. He's such a little scaredy cat that he his voice will sometimes sound like a squeaky toy. If Turtles Forever was correct about anything, it would be that Raphael would absolutely burst into tears meeting his Mirage counterpart.

But despite this all, Raphael is still probably the bravest version of Raphael they've ever created. Even though he'd rather scram, and read comics or watch TV. Despite knowing humans have it out for him, and will never accept him into their society. Even though he knows every time he saves them it will be a thankless job, Raphael will fight until his last breath. Like every other Raphael, he will protect the people and city he loves because that's who he is!

One of my favourite episodes in TMNT history has to be Raphael vs the Volcano because it really shows who 87 Raphael is as a person. There have already been a few posts about it recently who have all been far more coherant than I ever will be but let's do it anyways.

Raphael vs the Volcano:

-Donatello's latest invention, a health machine, malfunctions leading Raphael to believe he's unhealthy

-after panicking in the sewers a little bit, he goes back to the lair, only to overhear Michelangelo and Donatello lamenting over the loss of their dear friend.

-assuming they're talking about him, and that he only has a day to live, Raphael runs off, deciding that despite the fact the world sucks he's going to use his last day to make the world a better place

-he does a bunch of good deeds, increasing in danger, wearing a musketeer costume while the other turtles and April try to catch him

-some botanist is mad that a rich lady is taking credit for his discovery so he decides to eliminate all organic life on earth...not really important for Raphael's character except the fact he catches wind of this and takes this as his last deed before croaking.

-Raphael literally jumps into a live volcano to get the canister of anti-life juice, only escaping seconds before it erupts because the turtles arrive in time.

-the lesson of the day? don't jump into live volcanoes.

There's so much to unpack about this episode, but it'd mostly be reiterating the same things I said earlier about him. With a time limit on his life Raphael, despite the way he's been treated by the world will let go of his cynicism and crankiness to help people if it benefits everyone else. The kid shakes the moment he realizes it's been a huge misunderstanding and he's perfectly fine. Throughout the episode he's even saying things like "yeah too bad this is gonna be my last day". Like...he is CONVINCED he isn't making it to adulthood. If you think about it, it's basically what the other Raphs are as well, without the super explosive tempers. They're all just good-natured kids who have circumstances weighted against them, but they'll do whatever they can for the safety of their friends and family.

Please PLEASE give the 87 TMNT cartoon a chance if you've never seen it before. I promise it's actually good, and it has some extremely funny episodes.

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #theotxt #87 raphael #he means so much to me your honor #tmnt 12 #tmnt 03 #rottmnt #tmnt 1987

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xxlea-nardoxx · 7 months

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I love still seeing people appreciate the TMNT 2012 boys like I do, i really like your work.

Idk if you answered this before, but I was wondering what are your opinions on the other turtles like 2003,2007, the newest turtles, and etc?

Ah hello! :>

I have indeed answered something like this before! You can find it here:

But to make it short:

Mutant Mayhem is my second favorite version, right after 2012 now..

I really like the Bay-movies [2014 & 2016] A LOT. They're so enjoyable to me, no matter what anyone says.

2003 and 2007 are really nice, despite not having watched too much of 2003, but I really like these dumbasses.

Never really saw anything of the 1987! Turtles, but I love how squishy and silly they are.😭

I watched Rise before (the movie and the show), and that version is mostly carried by Leo and Mikey. They're the two characters I truly care about, but the show is enjoyable to watch anyway.

Never watched the 90's movies and I'm actually not planning to just yet, so I don't have an opinion on it.

But generally I am not picky when it comes to the Ninja Turtles. If I'm at someones house and they ask me if we wanna watch Tmnt 2003 or 1987, I will definitely say yes. As long as it's the ninja turtles, I'm happy. :>

Though when it comes to talking about them, the 2012 version, Mutant Mayhem and 2003 (to some degree) are my favorites. It's the versions I feel most confident talking about!

#tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2007 #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2003 #xxlea nardoxx asks #tmnt mutant mayhem

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tmnt-tychou · 2 years

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Was thinking about head canons and wrote down a list of random thoughts.

Bayverse Random Quirky Head Canons:

Mikey

-Likes to watch cooking shows. Every now and then he gets it in his head he's going to be the world's first turtle chef and starts whipping up things in the kitchen. Most of it is edible.

-Picks up different languages really easily. Fluent in Spanish and can have basic conversations in several other languages.

-Has a weird obsession with the original Space Jam soundtrack. Can sing all the lyrics to “Hit 'em High.” (Okay, all four of them can.)

-Likes a lot of 90′s music in general.

-Knows a lot of drag queens after he foiled a shooting at a drag bar. He is always welcome whenever he comes by. The girls call him “Mitch” or sometimes “Michelle.” You can tell when he's been spending time there as he'll mimic their mannerisms or call his brothers “gurl.”

-He has been IN a pride parade. Leo was pissed when he found out. Mikey made him go to Pride the next year. Leo was propositioned several times. (But he had a blast.)

-April makes Mikey wear an elastic band on his wrist that the brothers can snap when he's running his mouth. (Mostly saying lewd things to/about women.) It was intended to break him of this bad habit so if he ever did meet a girl who likes what he's selling, he doesn't chase her off with his mouth. (It's tough love from April's view point.) This seems to have backfired as Mikey will run his mouth and then ninja away while his brothers chase him. It's now his favorite game as he tries to say the most inappropriate and offensive things at the worst times.

-No, he won't take the band off himself until April says he can.

Raph

-Feels the most unseen of his brothers. Leo is the favorite son, Donnie is the genius middle child and Mikey is the rambunctious baby. The only times Raphael could get any attention from his father is when he started fights. But around age 10 he accidentally broke Mikey's arm in a fight and felt so bad about it, that he began teaching himself to hold back and stopped getting into full out brawls with his brothers. Arguments and a few arm punches yes, but no using his full strength on his brothers in a fit of rage. As such, his one avenue for attention was closed and Raphael has become used to doing his own thing and gets the attention he craves from his brothers and not his father.

-Raph and Casey bond over their anger management journeys.

-He and April are super tight.

-Is the most self aware of the four and the most likely to self-correct if he’s made a mistake.

-Mikey is the brother he is closest to, but Raph absolutely loves spending time with Donatello. When his brother has time for him. If he's having a particularly frustrating day, he will go and sit in the lab to chill out. Because Donnie is zen when he's deep in a project and Raph eats up those calm vibes. The two can and often bond by sitting in a room together not talking, but just being near one another.

-Really values time spent with Leo when they're just chilling and there aren't any arguments.

Donnie

-One of the chillest people (turtles) you will ever meet. Rarely has a temper, though has a short attention span for his brothers (Mikey's) nonsense.

-Very few things phase him. Jump out of an airplane with no parachute? No problem.

-Kills spiders for Raph.

-Introvert. Can go weeks without interacting with another person.

-Cranks the raunchiest rap music you have ever heard while he's working on his projects. (If you peek in, you might catch him dancing to it, too.)

-Raph and Mikey sometimes call him the “Savage” and quote Megan Thee Stallion's song of the same name at him. “Donnie's that bitch. Been that bitch, still that bitch.”

-There's a reason for that nickname. It takes a lot to get under Donnie's skin, but if you cross him looking to start something, he IS going to finish it. Like Batman taking out the whole Justice League, Donnie knows everyone's weakness and he will use it all against them.

-You will never know when it's coming. This bitch can hold a grudge forever, waiting until the right time to drop the bomb on you.

-Cryptid enthusiast. Considers his family to be New York Crypids and entertains the theory that other cryptids could be mutants of some kind.

-Likes to watch true crime shows with Leo.

Leo

-Turns into an old man whenever he has to interact with technology.

-Never texts unless he has to. “Forgets” his phone a lot so he doesn't have to deal with it.

- A little OCD.

-Can get over stimulated when there's too much noise and will need quiet time to decompress. This was difficult growing up as all three of his brothers enjoy constant music and chatter. It's one of the main reasons he gets cranky if his brothers have been smothering him all day. (They all want his attention and sometimes they're exhausting and he has to go find a place to hide.)

-If he's feeling social, he likes to de-stress with Mikey. Mikey is nearly insufferable when they're all together, but when they have one on one time, Mikey's more chill and will talk in lower tones when he isn't trying to talk above the other brothers.

-Leo will plop down next to him and just say “I need a laugh.” Mikey will spin all sorts ofjokes and dumb stories about Raph to make Leo snort. Then he'll share any new music he's found. (Played on low for Leo's sake, and also so the others don't find them because Mikey treasures one on one time with Leo.)

-Many songs on Leo's playlist have come from Mikey. (The one thing he does use his phone for.) He will sometimes listen to them while he trains.

-Donnie and Mikey quote Mean Girls at Leo all the time. “Stop trying to make fetch happen, Leo.” Leonardo had no idea what they were talking about for the longest time. Which confused them because he was in the room when they were watching the movie. He finally realized when they were quoting and watched it again.

-He once said “Boo, you whores” to his brothers and they all LOST THEIR SHIT.

#tmnt #ninja turtles #tmnt bayverse #tmnt 2016 #headcanon #head canon

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the90sweekbyweek · 1 year

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Episode 2 of “The 90’s: Week by Week” is now up on Podcast, Spotify, Audible and all other major audio streaming services! Join us as we take a look at the week of January 7 - January 13” in the year 1990.

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/grubbys-private-bar/id1598471774?i=1000597996318

Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/B0BTWCL14Z?source_code=ASSORAP0511160006&share_location=podcast_episode_detail

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0EP6958F0J5wFlY9A8Y9ll?si=N21fhXSUQ4-ZFy5aPJhNpg&dd=1

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hauntedshells · 10 months

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it would be so so so RAD if we managed to get rottmnt unpaused while mutant mayhem is going, I mean, out of the 5 tmnt shows we’ve had 3 of them have their wanted seasons canceled, the bayverse sequel flopped, and the most hyped tmnt show as far as I’ve seen is 2012 which isn’t an amazing look considering some of the concerning writing decisions in that show. a new wave of turtle mania over 30 years after the first wave? a new wave that doesn’t rely on the shredder coming back more than william afton and focuses more on mutants and their communities? with the turtles looking distinct from each other and the shows themselves being stylized and fun? with a black april and a crew that genuinely shows a lot of love for the franchise it’s building on while creating their own world and lore and really having fun? two versions that bring the fun and silliness of the 87 cartoon and the 90’s movies while also having the dark, gritty, emotional, and horror inspired elements that have been baked into the franchise for years? to have rise and mutant mayhem exist at the same time would be INCREDIBLE my autistic self would EXPLODE to see this rejuvenation. all the people complaining about the new versions who are claiming to be fans are ridiculous because mutant mayhem and rise are love letters to the teenage mutant ninja turtles legacy and I am so excited for the direction this franchise is going

#heavy on mutant mayhem being a love letter there is so much passion I have seen in it even the art style and marketing just #shows how much care and passion the crew has been putting into it #the nostalgia while also having fun creating new things #it’s beautiful it really is #and rise I mean so much of the crew of rise worked on past versions and even though it stands out a lot from different versions if you #really look there is SO MUCH basis and inspiration from past versions and it’s so sad that it didn’t get the marketing mutant mayhem got #I mean have you SEEN those rottmnt action figures???#just downright offensive #you don’t get it you don’t understand #I’m on the verge of tears LISTEN TO ME #this isn’t 2012 slander btw it had some great pieces to it but #but as successful as tmnt is it’s had some messy parts and I just #I’m really excited for the future #tmntmm #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt mutant mayhem #tmnt #mutant mayhem #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #unpause rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #this post in of itself kind of became a love letter #I just #I love tmnt so much #I think I put too much in the tags

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popculturebuffet · 9 months

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem Review and Analysis: This Films What Makes Me Feel Alright

Hello all you happy turtles! It's time to grab some pizza and party sized cool ranch doritos and pull your old high school sketchbooks out of some ancient backback in your closet, it's time to talk TMNT: Mutant Mayhem. As a massive TMNT nerd who was beyond hyped for this film coming from the powerhouses of both Point Grey Pictures and one jeff rowe, how did the film stack up? How did it spin kick on it's own? And why did they think Bebop nipple piercings were a good idea? All this and more under the cut, with FULL SPOILERS so if you haven't seen the film, you've been warned.

A New Coat of Ooze: Mutant Mayhem's story of how it came to be is oddly familiar: a massive movie company who has an iconic IP has no idea how to use said IP on it's own, and taps creators who have had some recent noticable and well loved succeses to make them a hit.

If that sounds familiar.. it really should as it was sony's creative desperation to get something spider-man centric only they would get profit from out that lead to Into the Spider verse and i'ts sequel. So it's funny and endearing to me that a film that wouldn't of gotten away with it's utterly unique and grungy art style without spider-verse.. happened for pretty much the exact same reasons.

Like with spidey, Paramount.. really didn't know what to do with TMNT for a while. And it's weird because when they first aquired the heroes in a halfshell from mirage, they had a pretty solid plan: the 2012 show, while messy as it went on, started out really promising and was a huge hit. The IDW comics prior to it were a massive hit for the company and are STILL around today, having outlasted other long term idw liscenses like transformers and having kept a consistent continuity for a decade while also leaving room for crossovers with ghostbusters, the mighty morphin power rangers, the goddamn batman and now street fighter.

So what went wrong? Simple.. they tried WAY too hard to mimic the transformers formula with their theatrical film, Ninja Turtles, not only not getting that audiences were tired of "Micheal Bay makes a weirdly sexual comedy about your childhood and it may have robots", but what really made the franchise work. The sequel from what i hear is slightly better but it just wasn't enoguh. Not helping is they quickly lost their shit on the tv front, as after the 2012 series concluded, they launched the creative, hilarious, and gorgeous Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.. which proceded to last only two seasons because it wasn't an instant hit, aka the same issue most nick shows fell into, not helped by the fact that Nick also seemed to pick up Cartoon Network's bad habit of hating action shows. We DID at least get a really good Rise film that gave the series a nice epilogue, but it's still sad it sputtered out so fast.

So Paramount turned to something they really weren't using.. their film animatoin department.

Paramount Pictures Animation is neat to look into as it had a steep rise.. then fell right off a cliff. It was a bit spottier at first, producing two of the charlie brown films, Bon Voyage Charlie Brown (And don't come back) and my beloved Race for Your Life Charlie Brown... mostly for this theme song.. okay ENTIRELY for the theme song.

youtube

And scattered experiments like Cool World, which was so good Ralph Bakshi punched a man over what they'd done to his idea, Bebe's Kids, and Beavis and Butthead Do America.

It wasn't till the late 90's and the nick boom they really started seeing success with the rugrats movies, jimmy neutron, spongebob and even the failures like Hey Arnold and Wild Thronberries were still neat. And yes i'd like to talk about any and all of these films at some point, they made up my childhood etc etc.

Eventually they got a cushy partneriship with dreamworks, still releasing the ocasional original effort like Rango, Barnyard and TinTin (The last of which I WILL be covering next august, I simply didnt' have room in pirate month this year. Once dreamworks left.. it seemed like Paramount genuinely had no clue what to do with the animation divsion. We had things like Sherlock Gnomes or Wonder Park, and the ocasoinal spongebob movies but it's clear that with Nick constantly cutting itself off at the knees they had no idea what to do. The closest they got was the turdtastic loud house movie and the totally awesome Rise of the TMNT films on netflix, but they just had no idea what they were doing. I mean it's telling that their trying to get extra paw patrol tickets by promiting a double feature with saw X. I.. I wish that was just some stupid joke I made as it's comedy gold. Eventually they came across an idea: Stay the course in focusiong on ips they own.. but bring in someone who knows what their doing to create something truly jawdropping.

So for Mayhem Parmount brought in two proven successes. The first were producers Point Grey Pictures, helmed by friends, writing partners and permenant teenagers Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg. Rogen has made quite the name for himself as a producer. While Point Grey started as mainly a way for Rogen to produce comedies starring himself and a pre-outing as a sex monster james franco, over time Rogen has proven to be REALLY good at making adaptations, with point grey having had a hand in both the Boys, which I haven't seen but seems to be a MASSIVE improvment over the original comics , which isn't hard but it's still nice they tried, and Invincible, one of the best superhero shows PERIOD and a fantastic adaptation that changes what needed it, moves around pieces and ultimatley creates something really special. So tapping him to adapt a big property like this was a no brainer. He even had animation experince thanks to Sony Pictures Sauage party and while this was Point Grey's first family production, it's clear it wasn't too hard for Rogen to adapt. As for their director they picked a hell of one: Jeff Rowe. For those not familar with him Rowe helmed the Mitchells vs the Machines, sony's first post spider-verse success and the film that helped codify the 2d on 3d style that spider-verse made popular and peanuts pioneered. And it was clearly just ont hes trength of word of mouth alone as Rowe went right from machines to mayhem and only got better. From interviews, the two worked really well together: Rogen was hands on but didn't make the mistakes lord did of being way TOO hands on, simply pitching neat ideas, adding to the film and clearly being heavily involved, while still letting Rowe steer the ship. Rowe in turn learned to have a good work life ballance and give his employees one, preventing the kind of nightmarish working conditions present on other flims such as, sadly, Across the Spider-Verse.

For the direction of the film Rowe was a fan of the franchise as a kid, specifically the toys. He recalled a really sweet story about he and his dad spent a saturday trying to find Tokka and Rahzar and really loved the toys designs and uniquely grungy astetic. As such Rowe really didn't lean into or heavily research the rest of the franchise. Which set off my alarm bells when I read it in a review close to release: after all a LOT of bad adaptations come out of the person adapting it not giving one iota of a shit about the source material. Eventually though I realized I was .. over panicking. What jeff meant was more "I don't want to be overly reverent to the material and see what we can do on our own with the basic concept' rather than "THE TURTLES ARE GOD YOU FOOLS GODS. GODS I SAY!". There are still little nods in there and bits taken from other series; There's a mention of the turtles taking in a knicks game (something that happened in out of the shadows), April's design borrows heavily from her design from Rise while still being unique, Donnie has glasses like the bay movies, there apparently was a miyamoto usagi sticker on a notebook (thanks tv tropes for noticing), and there's a TON of refrences to the 87 continuity as it's clearly the one rowe knew best. And while I do get a LITTLE tired of that being the one continuity most creators seem to lean on the most, I don't hate it and plan to binge the whole giant thing soon I just feel there's a LOT more turtles to pull from, paticuarlly the idw comics, the nods are neat stuff like them having their belts form that series, the various obscure mutants. The Ninja Rap even shows up. Rowe and Rogen clearly love them some turtles.. they just wanted to do something new with it and I completely love and respect that. The biggest swing and the one that's paid off the most was leaning on the teenage aspect. Rowe and Rogan were baffled that no other version of the franchise had done the obvious: Have actual teens voice the turtles. There are reasons for that: For the various tv shows it's simply easier to know the va's wont' age out of the roll, and to the 2012 and rise series credits, they both still tried to make the turtles feel younger and had va's that still made them sound sorta like teens, paticuarlly rise... but it's not at all a bad concept and i'm shocked it took this long for someone to try it.

Another aspect was having the boys all record in one booth. Rogen had the idea.. but Rowe had to explain that it'd be a sound mixing nightmare.. but eventually agreed to it when they tested it out and he saw how much having the four actors playing the turtles riffed off each other and just how much material they got out of the boys adlibs. It adds a natural feeling to the boys conversations: it feels like four teens riffing who just happen to be turtles. It was indeed an audio nightmare.. but the nightmare was worth it and Rowe was greatful and apologetic to his sound crew.

The final bit was simply taking from teen movies, the film even outright has the boys watch Feris Buller's Day Off, which gives me one of my faviorite lines in the film, courtesy of Raph: "Being in high school means you can hyjack a parade whenever you want. "

There's more to get into as we go but with the film opening decently and paramount being so confident in the film pre-release they announced a two season tv show and a sequel, the future looks bright for the green machines. So now we've seen how the pizza gets made let's see how it came out

Perfectly Sketchy: Rogen and Rowe's "Teenage Energy" philosphy went into the design. Rowe wanted to find a unique look for the film, but it was a bit of a puzzler at first: There's SO many incarnations of the tmnt, which one do you pick for this? Do you go with the mirage comics, the 87 cartoon? 2003? the next mutation if you huffed some paint? In the end Rowe decided

Instead he made a brilliant decision: if the film was going to feel teenagery, then why not have it look like the sketches teenagers make in their notebooks? It's an idea that just oozes brilliance and still fits the franchises history like a razor decked claw glove. Part of what made the early comics stand out was it's sketchy, frank miller-esque style, and the toys stood out for largely echoing that as much as you could in three dimensions at the time. So it still fit.. but did something entirley new with it. As as a result the film has a look that simply nothing else has: porportions on most things are off, the backgrounds arne't hugely detailed , did you when you were a teen?, but still pop gloriously, and the characters all have SOMETHING that would be off model anywhere else. One of the thugs in the turtles first act of vigilnate justice, for instanc,e has a weirdly crooked head with indents. It's a look that's perfectly stylitic, fits the series history, and it's a kind of weird that perfectly complintes a series that was already having our heroes fight space dinosaurs by the third issue. I especially love how the shurikens are not even yet still throw perfectly and Mikey's hey arnold head. It's a look that pops with creativity and the crew really took to playing with. It's a style that will, much like spider-verse lead to this, undoubtly lead to more unique swings and I cannot wait to see what people come up with as a result

Protecting a World that Hates and Fears Them

The film's core comes from a rather genius decision to simply pick apart a key part of the franchise... the fact Splinter keeps the boys isolated from humanity for most of their lives and encourages them to stay hidden. Now credit where it's due some continuties justify it well enough: sometimes splinters hiding from shredder, or already had a sweet rent free sewer apartment he set up for no reason, trying to find his lost son and complete his family while avoiding a mutated alley cat or simply was waiting till the boys could defend themselves. They often have a lot of enemies... but even that shouldn't mean they can't get an education or have friends. April and Casey stick by them no matter what. They should be able to at least try for a normal life or the idea of them WANTING more than hidnig all the time should really come up more. The only ones that have really tapped into this are the IDW continuity which is just now having the boys integrate post armageddong game, out of the shadows which from what i've read has a throughly intresting subplot about the boys wanting to become human and leos' resistance to the idea (which also makes him come off as a bit of a jackass honestly as it's not his choice and "We're turtles end of story" is not an excuse). We've had the turtles say move into an apartment but this is the first to just flat out ask: why CANT the boys at least try to live with humanity instead of under them? And if so why did splinter keep them apart?

It's part of what really grounds the boys in this incarnation and makes them feel so damn real. The other of course was the decision to have actual teens play them and riff off each other. We get them making unteiotnally douchey digs at each other, such as the other three mocking Leo attempting a batman voice, casually talk about how they'd like to meet drake or have brunch with tom brady, which leo no you can do better man, or do some goofy shit while april marvels at their stupidity.. and then double down when told it might make people like them less. By making the biggest attempt so far to make the turtles FEEL like teens instead of young adults, an evolution the franchise has been undergoing since the 2012 cartoon and honestly reaches it's apex here, it makes us feel for them that much more; These are just kids who simply want to be loved and accepted, like any teenager. That awkwardness, wanting to fit in, wanting to simply belong.. it's one of the most painful parts of a teen and transplanting that to the tutles wa sa brilliant move. One of the earliest scenes is what sells this the most: the boys going to see Ferris Buller's Day off.. and just wondering what it'd be like to be normal. That lost shot of them sadly returning to the sewer... looking on screen at something they only wish they could have... it's so heartbreakingly beautiful.

The reasons WHY Splitner restricts their time in the outside world and refers to humans as "the demon scum of the earth. They lust to destroy that which is diffrent than them"

Giving Splinter a deep fear of humans is a brilliant move. It's something that really coudln't be done in most incarnations as he's been the pet of a martial arts master who treated him well, said martial arts master living in a sweet sewer apartment after being clumsily blamed for murder, got reincarnated as a rat after dying in ancient japan, a martial arts master who turned his back on his heritage because his clan let his family die, became a movie star, fucked a spider lady, had said spider lady put him in gladatorial games, then got depressed after becoming a rat but gladly adopted his sons. Here they strip that away and we're left with a splinter who was just a rat who was yelled at by other animals, shooed by humans just for trying to survivie and whose only friend was a cockroach.. who he ended up eating after humanity killed the poor guy. Finding the boys also abandoned in the sewers and covered in ooze, as oozual, not only made him into a rat man.. but also gave him the one thing he never had: a family. We also get a REALLY adorable montage set to de la soul's eye know that makes me REALLY glad the copy right hurdles around them are gone so we don't have another spider-man no way home situation because the song both slaps and has a nice soothing tone that really fits. We'll get more into the music on i'ts own later, I just really love this montage.

It also makes what follows..

We see that Splinter GENUINELY tried to go out into the world.. and the result was humanity throwing things at him despite carrying 4 small children and said children nearly being hit by a car. It's a really unsettling sequence. While yeah everyone going "rat man" and throwing things is a bit on the nose... given how a LOT of humanity acts to LBGTIQ+ persons, People of color, diffrent religions I could go on but i'm depressed enough as is, it's not really that much of a stretch that they'd throw things at a rat just trying to show his sons the world. It reminds me a LOT of the x-men and it's honestly weird to me that the othe rbiggest mutant franchise int he world HADN'T taken a page from them sooner.

It gives the film nuance: Splinter IS objectively prejudiced, leo even says so directly, but you can see how those prejudices formed and why he's so terrified for his own kids. He's worried a world that hates and fears them will also hate and milk them.. a runner that while awkwardly phrased, I don't think Seth or Jeff have heard of the term milking before, is hilarious, especially the usual refrain of "we don't even have nipples. " He just wants them safe and happy and you can tell he really does love them. He taught them the martial arts to protect them.. and the how is also really clever and a really fun idae: instead of "I learned it from a book" Or "I happened to be owned by a ninja master" or "I was reincarnated" we instead get him teaching them.. via martial arts films, instuctional videos, and the ocasional youtube thing. I love it because it honestly makes way more sense than it should as shown in the animation: splinter watched the films, learned the movements himself and then taught the boys. It's also a nice bit of meta text as Jackie Chan himself is a practicing martial artist who makes martial arts films and did his own stunts. One of his films is apparently even in the montage. It's one of my faaviorite takes of the film.

One of my faviorite scenes is Splinter's biggest pet the dog moment: the pizzza party. Splinter brings in a bunch of pizza hut pizzas

It's neat because it both clearly misses the point, Splinter really dosen't seem to get that simply bringing down a bunch of pizzas to have a human style prom and having kelvin captain kirk cutout won't fill the void inside. I mean I could think of a lot of uses for a chris pine cutout, i'm not saying it's a bad gift and it's sweet he's trying SO HARD to get his boys to open up and Jackie Chan just nails the dad energy on this one. It's just clear that they don't want to stay there there whole lives as safe as that is.

What brings it to it's head is one of the films more brilliant decisions. Originally, while I haven't found many specifics the film had other antagonists: Baxter Stockman was originally the boys teacher (they went to school during the course of this film in this draft) and became the fly again, while Shredder was TCRI"s heavy in earlier drafts. Both were nixed, the former likely due to abandoing the school plot and the latter for the entirely on the mark decision that it was just too much. Shredder.. is THE arch enemy to the turtles. The one constant in every universe. So it makes way more sense to save him for a sequel and let someone else take the reigns. As Rowe has teased Shredder's going to be a bit of a wakeup call: just as the boys think they have it figured out .. in comes shredder to kick their asses. Which really has happened A LOT across the franchise, with it being a regular tradition that the shredder beats the shit out of the turtles the first time they fight. Even in IDW where they do rally and turn the fight on it's head.. he still easily handles them all one on one before they rally as a team. It makes sense to save their ultimate test for a sequel while still giving them one hell of a trial by fire

Instead we got Superfly, who better fit into the fantastic racisim narritive. If the boys want to get love and acceptance by fighting for a world that hates and fears them x-men style.. it only makes sense they have a magneto on that other end.

Like Magneto Superfly has a tragic backstory behind his hatred of mankind.. Superfly was the creation of Baxter Stockman and what they did with Baxter both completely floored me.. and drove me to tears. Instead of what he is normally, either a put upon target coerced into villany who strikes back at both the turtles and those who wronged him, or a narcsitic monster who will gladly do whatever he wants and kill anyone in his way, here... Baxter is just a deeply lonely old man who just wants a family. At worst he steals from TCRI.. but given we see their a horrifying company who wants the mutants as weapons and will gladly torture teenagers for a buck, it's not hard to side with him. It's really nice ot see a heroic baxter.. and sad to see him go so quickly.

It puts Superfly's hatred in perspective: like splinter he saw just what huamanity does and how his kind is treated and grew up having to raise his younger siblings. Like Splinter he seems to really love them. And like splinter his attempt to take his siblings topside.. went horribly wrong with them being chased by an angry mob for just..c oming to a snack bar. But it's right after that we get the clear diffrence: Splinter just ran in fear and while he trained the boys ot protect themselves, he just wants a line between himself and humanity. Superfly.. wants them all to pay. He wants to mutate the world that killed his dad and drove him and his siblings into hiding. The only way they can be accepted.. is if humanity is mostly gone and what's left are enslaved.

IT's that sadistic streak that ultimately defines him as a villian: the turtles just want to be accepted, splinter just wants to be loved, the rest of the mutant "cousins" just want a home and have been indocrinated and browbeaten into thinking there isn't another way. Superfly.. wants things his way: he wants blood, he wants revenge and if anyone stands in his way no matter their age or being his family he will kill them. It's that anger inside that makes him a true monster.

And that extends to his own family. Superfly's an abusive parent to Splinters flawed but loving one: The rest of the mutants turn stone quiet when he subtly/notsubtly threatens the turtles if they happen to disagree, and during the chase not only are they all desperate to get the thing back but Wingnut in paticular gets the most telling line

Wingnut: Superfly's almost here and he's not going to be as nice about this! Leo: You're not being nice! Wingnut: He'll be less nice!!

While the other mutants SEEM jazzed during the bowling alley scene, it's very clear later none of them were that enthused about the idea. Both sets are afraid to speak to their parental figure.. but the diffrence is clear in motion: the boys hide from splinter because they know he'll say no, it's a standard teenage thing and as seen with the pizza party when Splinter finds the various knick knacks they've picked up on their heroic journey, his response is to try to bring the surface to the sewer. It's awkward as hell and dosen't remotely work.. but it's still a sweet gesture and you still feel bad for him when the boys quickly leave to finish their half assed plan. Splinter ultimately wants what's best for his kids and even if he's not always right in carrying that out, I never doubted he actually loved his children.

This all brillantly comes to a head towards the end: While Splinter plans to just.. isolate the turtles after their nearly milked, the one time he seems GENUINELY angry the whole film, he still wants to save April, the one good human, who warned him the boys were in danger in the first place.

This leads to a touching bit in itself: the boys COULD fight the other mutants, their trying to do a genocide after all.. but instead the boys.. just talk them down. I mean i'm used to this kinda thing by now, most animation these days is about forgivness, but it still works: earlier when meeting each other the turtles gladly bonded with their cousins, who i'll talk about in more detail later: Mondo and Mikey were both chill, raph finally found some people who liked to hit stuff, presumibly while blasting Limp Bisikit, it was really sweet. THeir relutance to stop them added a nice dimension to things: they UNDOUBTLY want to stop superfly's plan.. but they genuinely like their cousins and see them as good people in a bad situation. Likewise the cousins are utterly destraught at the fight afterwords and miss the turtles. These are simply at the end of the day teens 20 somethings and whatever scumbug is who just wanted to not be chased iwth torches.

So it's utterly heartwarming when the turtles and splinter simply offer their home. They may not have humanity.. but they'd have each other. It's also YET ANOTHER idea that seems obvious in retrospect but most turtle series never really thought of: why.. can't other mutants stay with them? They usually order suplies and stuff descretley anyway or in this case take them out of nescsity, if they can afford pizza for 5 people reguarly, why NOT let other smove in. I mean I get it meta wise, you dont' want to overcrowd things. But it's a nice thought i'm glad gets realized: that the boys aren't alone and now have a whole new family to lean on.

And of course Superfly can't take that. To him there's only one way to go: never stop making them pay. I'll also say I like just how poweful superfly is: he's got strength inunerablity, and super smarts, which I thought was a nice touch. I assumed he woudln't have baxter's intellegence and I'm glad to be wrong. He's only stopped and only then breifly by sheer numbers.

What follows is a LITTLE on the nose, with superfly just.... saying outight he and splinter aren't so diffrent, down to both having said "You'll be safe if you just LISTEN TO ME".

That part.. dosen't quite work for me. What does work is the animation on splinter during the struggle between everyone else and superfly.. the dawning realization of what he is as Superfly states the obvious and his determination as soon as Superfly says "the diffrence is i'm not a punk". Superfly just wants to get revenge on a world that hates and fears him.. Splinter just wants his sons to be happy. And he finally realizes that even if there's a lot of risk involved, they DESERVE to live out there with everyone else. There is something better than hiding or murder.

I also like how Superfly.. drops the pretense: once his plans done he just goes on a massive kaiju attack: I also like how fucking horrific his form is: the whale part's a bit goofy at first.. but then you see how much STRENGTH that gives him as he destroys it. Even if we get the ocasional joke (I didn't need that horse is gold), for the finale Superfly is just a nightmarish, imposing threat that threatnes to run our heroes lives and also maybe end them. The glee he takes in crushing the boys alive... it's fucking terrifying.

I also love the bit of the boys panning... seeing all the destruction.. and seeing the media blame them too. Their trying to HELP people.. and get blamed. I'd suggest moving to krakoa but a lo tof shit has went down and living with one old man full of fear and regret is what started this whole caper. And the boys.. fight on anyway because it's the right thing to do. Despite all the hate... someone has to stop superfly. And in doing so.. April makes sure they get the glory and praise they deserve anyway.

Finally I love splinter's turnaround right before the final fight... where he admits he was wrong.. but hasn't FULLY turned around on humans. He's simply realized he can't let his baggage with humanity weigh down his sons. And it pays off brilliantly during the time square fight, as when Splinter is downed.. someone helps him up. And what I love is that while it COULD just be someone who saw April's newscast clearing the turtles and other mutants.. it's left ambgious. As far as we know it was just a nice guy and gal helping an old man up regardless of if he was a giant rat or not. It dosen't paper over all the films flaws with the rat man mob scene but it does help quite a bit.

The film brillantly tackles prejudice and I like how unlike most films.. there's no easy answers. Our boys have to do something big and loud to get accepted and it's not guaranteed to shield them, as seen with the stingers. THey find friends , activites and get what they want.. but it's likely not the end.. but that's okay. The important thing is for the first time the turtles are out of the shadows and into the sun. And it suits them. Seriously this last twist was brilliant and i'm shocked it took a tmnt this long to just.. let them be public since 87, and since media has evolved, it means when we get to the series we can actually explore what that means: how will they adapt? will everyone accept them? will april realize Leo is into her and it wasn't just a friend thing? there's a lot of questions I can't wait to be answered.

Change is Constant

I didn't have a good segway so.. CHARACTERS! MY WHEELHOUSE. LET'S GO.

Starting with the boys, their more of a package deal here. They still have unique deisgns, takes on the cores of their personalities, all you'd expect from a good tmnt adaptation.

What changes it up a bit is the recording together: while most sets of turtles have great chemistry, this one.. really feels like their brothers thanks to the shared recording: they talk over one another, dunk on each other and goof around. This has always been a thing, and part of the franchises charm, but how they do it here feels more real, helped by the fact they clearly took some adlibs in. Both the BTS bit where they try to comfort Donnie only to both mangle the lyrics and writhe in pain and the bit with the new york accents both sound like the boys just started riffing on the prompt given, didn't stop and they rolled with it because it was comedy gold. It also means a LOT more pop culture refrences.. but it works. It dosen't feel like too much

Admitely I don't know how current the refrences are to ACTUAL teens, but they work well enough and don't feel like their horribly date the film. Plus it'd be.. weird to have a turtles work that didn't reflect it's era in some way, as all 4 cartoons and most films and comics reflect their time either in writing or in the general vibe.

The downside to this is the turtles indvidual personalities, while present.. get kinda underplayed. Leo and Raph make it out fine enough: After the radience that was Rise Leo and ben schwartz being at his peak slacker doofus (while also still being badass), we're back to Leo being Teachers Pet. But thankfully like the 2012 film they play with it: like that Leo his brother's don't really respect him as a leader, but rather than the usual raph snarling at him like wolverine, here it's more just their his brothers, they woudln't respect him anyway and benig their dad's mouthpiece just makes them ignore him harder. He's the dutiful son but he's simply outnumbered. Raph dosen't get a ton of spotlight, but gets enough to be a fun little murder baby and probably my faviorite of the 4. Instead of the usual brooding loner, sometimes ultra violent sometimes just sassy, often both, here he's more an obnoxious older brother who picks on leo the most, is happy to do dangerous stunts and badly needs therapy. He's essentially Reese from malcom in the middle as a ninja turtle. He still loves his brothers and loves a good scrap, but he's got some issues to adress.

Mikey and Donnie likewise aren't bad but kinda one note: Mikey gets it the worst: he's a bit goofy.. but since they ALL are this incarnation it dosen't stand out as much. He gets some nice bits and one hell of a impariment shot, but not much else.

Donnie fairs better, but suffers from the unintended consequences of a good choice. As part of grounding things a bit, Donnie isn't a super genius. He's just a snarky little otaku who does really like tech, but on the resonable level of a teenage boy. As a result he dosen't get as much to do as most donnies as he's not hotwiring shit as often or making super lasers. It works for me, it's intresting to have a donnie whose just a normal kid who happens to be really nerdy, but it means plotwise he dosen't have as much to do as Raph as the ringleader to the boys mischief or Leo as the leader of the band during hero stuff. I get why: they only had a hundred minutes and it's remarkable they crammed as much in as they did, but it's something I really hope the series can course correct. I don't mind the boys riffing and hope it continues, but I also hope we get them more as their own people too.

As a final note I love Leo's crush on April. IT feels like a better realized version of the Donnie one from 2012. Instead of waffling over wether april notices or just dosen't want to turn him down which..

And then having it go from cute to "spiraling obessive dickhole", here April notices something's weird, but is clearly more intrested in the "giant talking turtles who can help my rep" thing and thus dosen't really pry. It only REALLY crosses into that at the end when he transparently asks her out.. and she waits till prom to ask "wait this is a friend thing right". But that could be nerves or her being just as scared of her feelings as he is with his. It also helps that while he's intrested in april romantically the two do bond: out of the four he' sthe most empathetic at her barf reputation, priortizes her not out of his crush but because she asked for their help and later works with her at her club. It's still somethign the series could work on, but for "a way to both mine jokes and get leo to go against his dad's wise council" it works fine. It's better than "how dare you ruin my ship you bastards" and "Mikey stop being a sex creep. "

So moving on to April herself, I mostly like this version. She's the third time this franchise has gone with a teen april and the third to have her POC. I've liked the turn to teen april as instead of being a big sister to the turtles, and essentially another authority figure when they already have their dad, she's on their level and it opens up fresh possiblities. Mayhem is the first with this take on april to have her be a reporter again, and it's honestly nice to see that work at a school level, having her TRIED to be on their equivleant of channel one.. and end up puking. And i'm not a barf joke man but walking back into the theater after a bathroom break to see her ralphing to "UnwritteN" may be one of my faviorite cinema moments of 2023, up there with walking back into Barbie to find she and ken now had cowboy outfits they'd apparently stolen.

I also love how it gives her a personal stake: she just wants to be loved same as the turtles and like them realizes this isn't WHY to do this. She also provides a nicely needed straight man to the goofier brothers without being reduced to the old sterotype of "Joy killing female foil. ", something her fellow teen aprils and most aprils in general have thankfully achieved. April is just a person and reacts with annoyance to the boys because their going on a 4 minute tangent saying new york sterotypes while mike does a rumpshaker.

We do have to unpack that mostly though and that comes from April being kind of a dick at time's. She's pressuery when the boys are undercover with SUperfly's gang.. even though she can HEAR what their saying.. and thus hear that he's clearly indocrinated the others and that the boys may not want to harm THEM. I get her not wanting Superfly to succeed, his plan is fucking horrible, but even for a teen it's weird she dosen't see the nuance. She can also be a bhit short with them, though the latter I acknolwedge in hindsight as being like the boys: she's a teenager and teens aren't perfect. This is still a great april and continues Ayo's streak this year of great voice acting roles.

The other mutants are great. I was worried: While the cast for them is fucking stacked and Seth called in a lot of his rolodex to fill it out, and himself as credit where it's due he tends to show up in shit he produces and bring his absolute best rather than showing up because he can, i've seen plenty of films fall flat because they tried to add too many characters from the source. Just this year I felt one of the biggest issues with Transformers; Rise of the Beasts is that they tried to jam so many autobots and maximals in, a total of 10 but didn't bother to give any of them but optimus, bee and mirage an actual character.

Here while the characters are one note, they have charming designs and work more as a unit like the boys, but are still friendly and likeable enough that your fond of them like the turtles and happy when they join the family. The breakout is easily natasha dimoscu's wingnut. I already loved wingnut, but this is easily the best verison: she's cheery kind and gets some great subtle jokes, the wifi one is fucking great as is her swiping Donni'es akira voices. All of them are pretty charming though. The only one to not really feel like a character is Hannibal frog, a sad waste of hannibal burgess, but everyone else gets something fun to do: Bebop and Rocksteady are rageholic morons who then get a sweet character arc as they realize their rage is because Superfly ENCOURAGED them to be constantly angry, and it's fun to see a version of them that's genuinely heroic. Not so fun is Bebop's pierced nipples.

I am genuinely baffled by this design choice. I don't doubt Bebop would get pierced nips, it' sin character. But why Seth thought anyone would want to see that, why he made HIS CHARACTER HAVE THEM, OR WHY HE MAKES IT SO PROMINENT will be a question that will haunt me for years to come. Or until we get creators commentary to explain why he hates viewers eyes. For the record I have nothing against nipple piercings, I just question why anyone thought giving them to Bebop was a good idea. OR their so large or

I also like Scumbug and i'm happy to see Splinter in his first relationship where his partner hasn't died horribly or put him in gladiator games. I did not need to see them make out with clone high level tounge. I"ll let this discord conversation with my good friend @kammieceleek handle the heavy lifting.

I mean their a cute couple but please, NEVER AGAIN. NEVER AGAIN. NEVER AGAIN. NEVER AGAIN. NEVER AGAIN. NEVER AGAIN. NEVER AGAIN NEVER

Anyways capping us off we have TCRI, who are decent enough. I like remaking them as this sort of paramilitary goon squad that shows the worst of humanity. Cynthia herself.. is fucking great. I like that to anyone familiar with Krang, it's DAMN obvious who she either is, or is a stand in for, with the name, apperance and Maya Rudolph somehow doing the Pat Fraley krang voice and tics while also doing a thick german accent. She's a brillaint combo of over the top hammy.. and an utterly sadstic monster, shocking the boys just for speaking, not carring that they don't really belong to her, and willing to kill them just to get her super weapons. She's what a remade krang should be: still over the top.. but also dead seriously terrifying. My only complaint is she's a bit OBVIOUS as a sequel hook. Like Rowe was really banking on that sequel and i'm never a fan of when films do this when they don't KNOW this story will continue. It is clearly, with the film slowly picking up more and more money and more than enough in merch, but he coudln't of known that.

So with that we just have one bit of buisness to wrap up

Yo Jeff Drop the Verse

The soundtrack for this flim is liquid gold. It's so good to my ears and full of such nice cuts. Guardians cemented my love of needle drops in film in tv: If you can pull it off well do it. And this film does it so damn good. The film skews to hip hop, likely due to wanting a "Tony Hawk Pro Skater" vibe, which really does fit teendom well. I will admit it's also pretty explicit here and there, so kids may be disapointed to find they can't stream these songs, but it's still a stacked selectoin

So before I break it down track by track, something I regret failing to do with spider-verse as like this reveiw it was massively behind, I whipped up a playlist as Parmount's own leaves out several tracks. While I get the what's going on bit being left out as that bit is a good suprise why it has'nt been added weeks out from the film I don't know. You can find it here

Ante Up is a song i've heard maybe once or two here, but is a perfect gag for the opening grocery run, while still showing off just what our boys can do.. even if their doing it for some party sized cool ranch doritos. Which is still a great reward.

Danke Scheon shows up in the clip of feris buller. This dosen't really count but I do think the film is a perfect fit, since John Hughes was an inspiration for this film, and it's an idealized version of the freedom the boys desperately want. Not a John Hughes film I was ever a huge fan of, but it works and that "You can hyjack parades whenever you want" joke is so damn good.

Now we come to a track I wasn't familiar with but is easily my faviorite now: Eye Know. I"m glad more films are using De La Soul's music, mostly because it makes ME want to know them better as I haven't heard much and even after really enjoying three is the number, thanks to the weird rights limbo it wasn't avaliable to stream ad nauseum when No Way Home came out. Thankfully just a few short months ago, the whole De La Soul catalogue is up. This song is a really gentle, really fun love song with one heck of a chorus, and it nicely meshes with Splitner raising his adorable little children. It's one of my faviorite scenes of the movie.

The next track is another perfect selection but for something more hilarious and badass: While Push It To the Limit verges on a parody of training montage music it works for one where we find out the turtles and splinter learned ninjitsu from movies,, instructional tapes and whatever they could scrounge up. HOw their learning is awesomely rediculous, so it needs backing that's cheestastic.

Love is an Illusion by Ronnie Walker was nice for Leo falling for APril. It's a really crisp, dreamy love song so it fits.

Okay look i'ts only there for a second, but I can't tell you how much I love Ninja Rap making a cameo on this soundtrack. The soundtrack is cheesy good and one of the more iconic ninja turtle songs for a reason. It's not as good as say Pizza Power or the various awesome theme songs, but it's goofy fun that fit the film it was in. It's also one of Vanilla Ice's better songs, though that isn't huge compettion especially since he made a weird as fuck sequel I still can't comprehend that was also compeltely ninja turtle free for some reason.

Cavern By LIquid Liquid is fun, a nice chill beat to meet turtles to.

Dance by ESG is already a fun song and fits the boys going full blast on their plan well. THat's.. about it. THankfully I have more for unwritten. I'm not a fan of Vomit humor most of the time unless you have a paticuarlly inspired twist like say. a mad scientest making everyone in the room vomit at a bar as a thought experiment leading to an image like this

That's just beautiful. But i'm just not a gross out guy, so this gag working for me was a lot... setting the most embarassing moment of April's life to FUCKING UNWRITTEN, a song I heard 998 times over the course of the 2000's as every fucking movie and tv show overused the hell out of this throughly mid song, it was transedeant. First and only good use of unwritten. Well done.

Now we come to what's easily the best musical bit of the movie. And it has some steep competition from Eye Know and another song we all know is coming, but the No Diggity Scene is just one of those sequences that once you see it you know "This shit is iconic". This is a scene that's now etched in tmnt lore and for damn good reason. It's also a brilliant way to get up to the chain to superfly and have a few weeks of sluthing and our heroes getting better pass as our heroes easily blaze through some goons and those shots of EACH turtle getting to burst in and lead the assault?

And look I admit this montage hits a sweet spot that was also started by guardians: setting an action montage to music that somehow fits despite having no right to. In this case a mellow smooth as hell jam perfectly complmenting some frantic action. So fucking smooth.

Wake Up in the Sky grew on me as let's face it, a song that has bruno mars saying fly a dozen times nad saying he's super fly works. I just don't like it a lot because trap is'nt something that fits me musically. I prefer more intricate beats or at least a really solid one thorugh the whole thing. The more relaxed beatwork here isn't for me, but I can't deny it fits Superfly's big debut well.

Fitting me much better is the use of Shimmy Shimmy Yay for the bowling scene. It's fucking great, a song that's never not awesome and that's also a bit low key while being way more my speed.

The use of BOTH major versions of What's Up? .. is an easy close second for best use of music int he film and one of the most brilliant masterstrokes. And this all comes to Seth Rogen. When the chase scene wasn't quite working, he suggested the slackcircus version of he man. It's also awsome in that the song's themes of isolation PERFECTLY fit what the mutants are going through. So not only did they manage to stick one of the best meme songs in human history in a feature film.. but they did so with it being ENTIRELY relevant. The switch from the 4 non blondes version to slackcircus is fucking genius and the song adds nice manic energy. It'll also hopefully give this song a rightful ressurgence as the heman cover is , while hilarious, also GENUINELY good. The original ain't too shabby either.

The boys version of butter is hilarious and got me to listen to the original which is alright. Mr. Lonely isn't a bad song, and perfectly fits Splinter's mope session.

Finally we have can I kcik it, an objectively awesome song. It fit the trailer perfectly and it fits our ending as our heroes are finally allowed to mingle with the surface adn get their happy ending beauitfully. A beautiful ending to a beautiful film.

So overall mutant mayhem is fucking awesome. If you haven't seen it after all this go see it, support the hard workers who made this film possible by supporting the ongoing strike and thanks for reading.

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt mutant mayhem #mutant mayhem #leonardo #donetello #raphael #michalangelo #april 0'neil #screwloose #superfly #bebop #rocksteady #jeff rowe #seth rogen #nickelodeon #scumbug

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