#AND I'LL REMEMBER TO RIP IT THIS TIME BECAUSE APPARENTLY I DID NOT DO THAT WHEN I GOT IT

[bogkeep]

im the victim of a HORRIBLE TRAGEDY (couldn't find my CD with the promare OST in my big heavy box of CDs :((((((( )

#BUT WHERE IS IT IF NOT IN THERE #DID I HAVE CD OVERFLOW?? DID I PUT IN OTHER BOXES?? #most of my belongings are in a stack of boxes under the stairs in my parents' house and i do not have the strength to rifle through them #the soundtrack is not really available on spotify and youtube so i was like thats fine ill just FIND MY PHYSICAL COPY OF THE CD #AND I'LL REMEMBER TO RIP IT THIS TIME BECAUSE APPARENTLY I DID NOT DO THAT WHEN I GOT IT #AHHHHHHHHHHHH #(like the music is not 100% unavailable online it's not lost media or anything it's fine) #i DO however. have my promare dvd #which i STUPIDLY ORDERED FROM AMERICA. FORGETTING THAT DVDS ARE REGION LOCKED. IM STUPID!!!! STUPID #vlc media will play it though so it's not useless either im just. im trying so hard im trying so hard i love this movie so much #but i wish it was more available to enjoy without so much effort!!!! #i hope my laptop will live a long good time because i managed to get one with a CD tray still #(the laptop in question has already suffered two blue screen deaths in its lifetime) #when i was young and naive i thought maybe the next generation of laptops will be able to play blu-ray which was the hot new thing #but what happened instead was that they got rid of cd trays. evil! evil evil

[evieskiesss]

Can u plz write a dom bill smut? theres a lack of bill smut lately and its so devastating + i LOVE ur writing 😭❤️

QUIT YOUR JOB- BILL KAULITZ.

𝙎𝙊𝙁𝙏 𝘿𝙊𝙈 𝘽𝙄𝙇𝙇:)

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 𝙥 𝙞𝙣 𝙫, 𝙨𝙤𝙛𝙩𝙙𝙤𝙢!𝙗𝙞𝙡𝙡, 𝙨𝙪𝙗!𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧, 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙚𝙭 𝙩𝙤𝙮𝙨, 𝙥𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙨𝙚, 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙙𝙚𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣, 𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙚 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚, 𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙥𝙞𝙚, 𝙘𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜 (𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙖?):)

a/n: hiiii and YESSS OFCCCC. I DEFINITELY NOTICED THE LACK OF BILL SMUT SO INHAD TO FIX THAT RQ😘. AND OMG I LOVE ALLL THE REQUESTS IVE RECEIVED, i’m sooo glad that you guys are actually sending them in🥹. please give me some time as i’m super busy but i will definitely try to do everyone’s requests as soon as i can!!

-

    It was a tough day at work. A day full of bulky paperwork, long calls full of appointments and nasty complaints, as well as some harsh scolding's from your boss.

     Bill came out from the kitchen, a warm smile on his face. "you're home," he grinned, walking toward you to plant a sweet kiss to your lips. You kissed back softly, not having the energy to reciprocate as much passion.

      He pulled away , his eyebrows furrowed at your state. Your face was flat, eyes hollow with turned down lips. Your shoulders were slouched while your hands sluggishly undid the buttons on your white blouse.

    "bad day at work?" he asked, a hint of sadness in his tone. You nodded slowly, your expression not changing as you continued to undo the buttons. "yeah," you replied flatly, the weight of everything now suddenly becoming heavier.

    He frowned a little, pulling your arm to let you sit on a kitchen stool in front of the island. "tell me, what's wrong?" he asked, leaning forward as he was eager to hear what might've turned your day so sour.

    You sighed, rolling your eyes a little as you remembered everything. "so much fucking paperwork, did about 150 pages. i had to take so many calls today, so many of them were just pure bullshit. this one lady called complaining about our policy and began insulting me as if i was the one who fucking created it. my dumbass boss basically yelled at me in front of everyone because of an appointment I scheduled when he specifically told me to do it for that day! apparently he didn't want it anymore and just assumed I was a fucking psychic that reads minds- and i can't get this fucking button off!"

    Your tone becoming more frustrated and aggressive as you spoke, nearly shouting as you almost ripped the shirt apart. Bill shot up from his seat next to you, quickly pulling your arms apart from the blouse. "okay, okay- just relax," he said softly in a soothing tone.

    You let out a frustrated breath, your hand coming up to rub your face. Bill's fingers gently began undoing the buttons, careful enough to not tug on the fragile thread.

     It was silent until he was about half-way, "i think you should quit." You chuckled, almost scoffing, "i wish." You kept your hand over your eyes, trying to ease the now throbbing headache.

    Bill shrugged even though you couldn't see him. "i'm serious. i think you should quit," he replied, now a bit more serious. "and do what? become a stripper?" you joked. He laughed, the smile coming up on his face. 

    Even if when extremely tired and annoyed,

you kept your humor. "i cant quit, Bill. how else will i-"

    "me. i'll give you everything you need. you don't have to work, y'know," he said with a smile, undoing the last button. You chuckled at his silly idea, "i cant do that," you shook your head, now taking the blouse off.

    Bill gently pushed the fabric back, helping you slip the blouse off before setting it on the island, now leaving you in your bra and pants. "why not?"

   You chuckled again, a small smile coming from his selflessness. His hands came to rest on your hips as he stood in front of you, admiring you entirely.

     "Bill, i'm not going to let you do that," you tried, your hands now running up his arms.

    He cocked his head to the side slightly, his eyes narrowing slightly. "well, why not? i mean," he kissed you softly, "-we already live together," he kissed you again as he spoke against your lips.

    "and," kiss, "i don't work by making all this music for nothing," he tried to reason with you. He caught your lips in another kiss, his lips pressing against yours with love.

    You let out a small sigh through your nose, pulling away as you looked at him with an uneasy smile. "i don't know, Bill.. i don't want you to feel like i'm just with you for money or something-"

    "nonsense!" he cut you off. He gave you a slightly pleading look, "you've been with me for years now, even before all of the money & fame. i would never think that," he reassured you.

    You looked up at him, your face still uneasy. He pursed his lips slightly before sighing, "just think about it, baby!" His face came closer to you again, noses brushing.

    "no paperwork, no calls, no mean bosses," he started, kissing you softly. "no waking up early, no dumb complaints, no stupidly tight blousesss," his voice trailed off jokingly as you laughed lightly.

   He smiled, catching your lips in another kiss. "waking up late, going out whenever you want, you can lay in bed all day, go get your nails done, your hair, anything you want," his voice became a quieter the more he listed things.

    "i'll give you anything you want," he whispered, kissing you again. The kiss was slightly harder, slower. His grip on your thighs becoming tighter. You moaned softly into the kiss, Bill's tone of speaking now getting to you.

      You hummed, pulling away just enough for you to speak. "I need to think about it, billy," you whispered back, your fingers gently playing with his hair.

    He looked down at you, nodding softly as he took his lower lip between his teeth. "maybe you just need some more convincing," he suggested, his voice becoming lower.

     His hand moved your hair to one side, exposing your skin to him fully. "what d-do you mean?" you breathed out, feeling Bill's lips give open mouthed kisses to your neck.

      "you're going to quit," he mumbled, "let me convince you." You didn't have time to respond before his teeth gave your neck a quick nip, you winced at the sudden pain which somehow bled into pleasure.

     "you're okay," he whispered, continuing to kiss down your neck. His hands went up to your sides, rubbing them. You let out a soft moan as he sucked on your sweet spot, now leaving a dark hickey.

      "c'mon," he whispered before grabbing your legs, suddenly carrying you into your shared bedroom. You kissed his neck as he walked you there, his scent invading your nose in a calming manner.

        He closed the door the behind him, gently placing you down on the mattress with him on top of you. You let out a small moan, his hands now undoing your pants.

        He slipped them off with the help of your legs, discarding them somewhere before slamming his lips against yours again. Your hands found the hem of his shirt, pushing it up slightly to indicate you wanted it off.

     He followed with a chuckle, tossing his shirt off before leaning back down. His hands gripped your sides, pushing you more up on the bed so that your head lay comfortably against the pillows.

      You both breathed heavily, his lips finding yours again as he kissed you slower, but with passion. His hand slipped behind you, undoing your bra before discarding it. He quickly fondled your breast, his lips ghosting over your ear, "i'm gonna make you feel good, okay?"

     He caught your nipple in his mouth, sucking on it as he felt it harden. You let out soft moans, your hands tangling themselves in his air as you arched your back.

     He chuckled, now moving to the other nipple. His tongue swirled around it, gently taking it between his teeth to tug on. You let out a light hiss at the sting, before being soothed by his warm tongue running over it.

     You let out a small whine, your hands reaching the buttons on his pants to undo before he stopped you. "let me take care of you. i know you've had a hard day," he whispered, kissing your breast.

      You bit your lower lip gently, nodding as his fingers looped around your panties, dragging them down your legs and away to the ground. He spread your legs open, holding them apart by your thighs.

He let out a low groan as your area glistened, his thumb coming up to meet his tongue for saliva. His thumb pressed itself against your clit, causing you to jolt as he rubbed slow circles against it.

     You let out a low moan, loving the slow pleasure he gave you. His fingers came down between your folds, collecting some of your wetness before pushing in two fingers.

A silent groan came from your throat as he slowly stretched you out, his fingers pushing themselves in until they hit the knuckle. The tip of his fingers gently ghosting over your spongey spot.

He slowly pumped his fingers in & out, pushing up against your g-spot as he curled his fingers. You moaned as his thumb continued to rub your clit, his lips coming down to swallow your moans.

You let out small breaths as you felt his fingers go deeper, now curling harder. He kissed you again, making it hard for you to kiss back as you felt the knot in your abdomen grow tight.

“feels nice, doesn’t it?” he asked against your lips, his fingers perfectly hitting your g-spot. You whined, feeling your orgasm grow closer. He bit your lip rather harshly, causing you to hiss.

“i asked you a question,” he mumbled huskily, his fingers going faster & rubbing your clit harsher. “yes, yes!” you closed your eyes tightly, feeling your orgasm approach.

You let out a dragged out groan as your orgasm hit, cumming on his fingers as he slowed his pace. “good, so good,” he whispered as he pulled his fingers out.

He licked his fingers up, enjoying the taste of you. He came down to kiss you again, his lips tasting of you as his hands sweetly rubbed your thighs again. “think you can do another?” he asked.

You nodded, half-lidded. He smiled, pecking your nose as he turned over to grab some toys. When you fully opened your eyes, you were taken aback by the items.

A vibrator set next to your thigh, as well as a dildo. You were familiar with the vibrator, but not with the dildo. You looked up at him, slightly uneasy.

He chuckled at your expression, his fingers gently caressing your abdomen. “you trust me, right?” he asked. You nodded again, of course you did. He smiled, “then trust me. i’ll be gentle,” he whispered.

You felt a slight burn arise in your area again, you were nervous but excited. You two hadn’t experimented quite fully with toys, so it would be a different experience.

He situated himself on his knees, between your legs. Your legs were spread open for him, your cunt still wet from your previous orgasm. He grabbed the vibrator, turning it to a low setting before pressing it firmly on your clit.

Your hips jolted at the sudden sensation, his hand quickly coming to hold your hip down. “ah,” you breathed out as it vibrated against your bundle of nerves.

He slowly rubbed it up & down, your hips bucking up as the feeling bled into intense pleasure. You closed your eyes, loving it. Suddenly, you felt a cold object at your entrance.

You looked down to see the dildo, lathered in a thin layer of lube. Bill looked up at you with a warm smile, “relax,” he whispered. Your jaw hung low as he began to push it in you, your walls stretching as you felt yourself adjust to the foreign toy.

It wasn’t that big, obviously not as big as Bill’s cock, but the dildo was decorated with various thick faux veins. A whine left your lips as he pushed the rest in, letting you adjust before he began pumping it.

He maintained a slow pace, only pushing it out slightly before pumping it further in you. The short thrusts mixed perfectly with the vibrations.

Bills finger discreetly pushed on the button, leaving it at a higher setting. You whined again, Bill’s wrist now thrusting the dildo in a bit harsher.

He occasionally rotated the dildo in you, making you squirm as you felt your second orgasm approaching. You bucked your hips up, meeting the thrusts of the dildo as you felt your thighs slightly begin to shake.

“do you like that?” he asked, looking up at you through his lashes with a playful grin. You only managed to hum back before your orgasm came crashing down, your hips shuddering.

“good fucking girl, you listen so well,” he cooed.

You arched your back, feeling him now tone down his movements in an attempt to drag out your orgasm. You panted heavily as you recovered, wincing slightly as he gently pulled the dildo out.

The toy was covered in your juices, a smirk on his face as it glistened. “so fucking hot,” he mumbled, now setting the toys aside. You tried to regain your breath as you laid there, your body covered in sweat.

You were deep in your mind, not realizing the sounds coming from in front of you as Bill undressed himself. He took his pants off, along with his boxers as he kissed up your chest to your lips.

“one more for me, okay?” he whispered, pure lust flowing from his voice. Your eyes snapped open, one more? He chuckled , “c’mon, baby. you’ve been doing so good, last one, alright?” he reassured you, pecking your lips repeatedly.

You let out a shaky breath, nodding as you felt his body come on top of you. His hands on either side of your head, his chest against yours and the tip of his cock right at your entrance.

He pushed his hips forward, his cock stretching you out, more than the toy. You let out a small moan at the burn which bled into pleasure as he buried his cock further into you.

He groaned as he bottomed out into you, his face in the crook of your neck. His small breaths tickling your neck. His tip pressed firmly against your spongey spot, god was he big.

He pulled back slightly, snapping his hips forward before slowly pulling back again. He kept a slow pace, making sure to bury his cock as deep as he could into you.

His short thrusts made you writhe, the way his cock would just barely give you a break as he pulled back, only to shove himself deep into you again, making you feel incredibly full.

“so tight. just for me,” be breathed out. He moaned and licked at your neck, his teeth gently grazing your sensitive skin as he continued to fuck himself into you. Your hips bucking up to match his thrusts.

He groaned as you did this, making his tip ram into your spot harder. “fuck, just like that,” he sighed, a burn in his hips starting as he started to grow tired.

But the way your walls would clench around him, the soft sounds of him thrusting into you and your moans, there was no way he was going to stop.

Occasionally, he would take small breaks by shoving himself entirely in, rotating his hips for friction. You wailed at this, his entire body weight practically shoving his cock in deeper into you.

His finger trailed down your body, finding your swollen clit as he rubbed soft circles on it. “fuck! i’m gonna cum,” you hissed, throwing your head back.

He panted heavily, now thrusting himself harder. “me too, baby. fuck- so close,” he mewled before he felt you gasp, your legs suddenly shaking.

Your eyes rolled back, nails digging into the skin on his back as you cummed. Your walls tightly squeezing around him caused him to let out a deep groan, his cum squirting in you.

He let out strings of curses, his hips now slowing down. You whimpered as he continued, his head dropping slightly to watch his cock easily slide in & out of you.

His cum threatened to seep out, but didn’t as he grabbed your hips, angling them upward to keep it in. “B-bill,” you moaned out softly with a scrunched face, his eyes fixated on your cunt as he fucked his cum into you.

“just making sure it stays in,” he whispered back, laying back on top of you without pulling out. He wrapped his arms around you, kissing your forehead lovingly. “gonna stay inside for a bit longer.”

You chuckled, kissing his chin, nodding.

“i’m gonna quit my job.”

#bill kaulitz smut #bill kaulitz x reader #evieskiesss #georg listing #gustav schäfer #smut #tokio hotel #tokio hotel x reader #tom kaulitz smut #tom kaulitz x reader

[mintmatcha]

cw: implied mental illness/substance abuse references

Denki jams his tongue into his cheek as he types, folding his gum in half before popping it between his teeth. The action is repeated: squish, snap, squish, snap-- unmuted by his open mouth. The waves and all their static do nothing to cover the sound of it; the sand was abandoned long before sunset, but the ocean is never quiet.

Suddenly, Denki sits up, looking to you as if he just remembered you exist.

"Shit, you hate that sound, don't you?" He swallows hard and you know the piece of gum is gone, "My bad."

"It's okay."

"I'm just really trying to quit smoking."

"I know."

He stares at you for a long while, then sighs. He drags his finger through the sand, peeling away layers of dry to reveal the darker, wet below. Weight has filled out his cheeks and middle in ways that you know he hates, but it looks so much healthier than he's even been.

"Everyone hated when I smelled like cigarettes apparently," Denki says, trying to laugh, "It sucks that no one told me that I stunk all the time."

Everyone is code for the girl he keeps texting, one one that lights his screen up with pretty pink hearts and messages that make his eyes glimmer. She texts again, a soft yet unrelenting force.

"I liked it." The horizon is dotted with lights, blinking against the surf. They follow their own pattern, blinking arrhythmically with each other against the surf, "It just smelled like you to me."

"Do you..." Denki rubs the back of his neck, "I dunno, do you really miss all that?"

All that includes too much. The peaks, the lows. Before his medications were balanced and before he quit partying, when neither of you had any control over your lives.

"No," you say, and you mean it, "But I miss knowing things about you."

"You know me." Denki's phone buzzes again, "I'm still me."

"I know."

"I'm still your Kaminari."

"I know."

He isn't. He no longer stops for a pack of cigarettes and a row of Hi-Chew every night. He no longer responds to your texts or reaches out first. It's been months since he last passed out on your bathroom floor, months since he asked you if you were alright.

His hair is shorter than he's ever liked it.

A horn goes off in the distance: a ship rolling into port.

"I don't know what to do with you," Denki sighs, "Did you not want me to get better? Because it feels like you didn't want me to."

He waits only a second for you before sighing again.

"Why did you ask me to come here?"

Because you missed him. Because you need a friend. Because you've always come when he's called.

All you even wanted was for him to be okay.

"I just didn't think getting better would mean I'd lose you."

"You didn't-" His phone goes off again, humming and buzzing harder. He scrambles to pick it up, pushing on to his feet. "Fuck, I really gotta take this."

"It's fine."

"I'll be right back."

"It's fine."

He answers and calls her baby with all the warmth and welcome he used to have for you. She's the one he goes to when the waters are calm and life is easy. You are the port in a storm, the one holding an umbrella until the rain passes.

You leave your sneakers there and walk the shore, the lace foam clinging to your socks and salt licking at your jeans. After fifteen minutes, he calls you once. You wait for a text or second try, but it doesn't come.

When you cry, it's from the bottom of the gut, ripping up like bile. The sound is swallowed by the sea.

[anangelwhodidntfall]

okay I love your tsu'tey stories, so could I request something with him and the human!reader where she is the only human he can stand, and maybe they've always flirted with each other but aren't in a committed courtship yet? But then something happens like maybe one of the Na'vi who hate humans attack her and he practically loses it on them? And he realizes that he can't wait any longer to make her his official?

Heart Wants What It Wants: Tsu'tey

Tsu'tey remembers the first time he saw you and how beautiful you were, he didn't care that you were a sky demon.  He never thought he would fall for someone again after Sylwanin but he couldn't deny that funny feeling he felt in his chest when you smiled at him or the first time you spoke to him.

"Hi, Tsu'tey. I'm y/n." You said softly looking up at him.

"Pretty name for an even prettier girl." He said placing a kiss on your knuckles as you smiled up at him.

From that day forward you and Tsu'tey were always together, which shocked everyone because he hated sky demons but not you apparently. He was constantly helping you and accompanying you with whatever you needed, and you were always willing to learn from him.

"So what are we doing today?" You asked Tsu'tey as you guys walked through the forest. 

"Well my flower, I figured that maybe we could go for a ride on my ikran? If you wanted." He asked you.

"Really? I would love to." You said to him with a huge smile which made him smile. 

 You guys made your way over to where his ikran rested and who was looking for you two as you walked over. Tsu'tey smiled as you gently petted his ikran while he got him saddled up for ya'ls ride. 

"Tsu'tey do you think I could give him a treat?" You asked him. 

"Sure thing, my flower, let me do it with you." He said grabbing a piece of meat and walking over towards you. 

"Alright just gently hold it out to him." He said guiding your hand outwards watching as his Ikran sniffed the food before eating it. 

"Did you see that? He took it from me?" You said excitedly making him smile. 

"He trusts you, just as I trust you." He said squeezing your hand with you a smile. 

You two climbed onto his Ikran with you in front of him so he could better hold you so you fall off while you two flew around. You wished you could have an avatar, and experience these things like Jake and everyone was able to and maybe have an actual chance with Tsu'tey. 

"Thank you for that." You said as he helped you off his Ikran. 

"Of course, I'm happy to take you for a flight anytime you want to." He said as you two started walking towards home tree. 

The next day you had been out picking flowers, preparing to make something for Tsu'tey when you saw him later. You were in your own world picking flowers, thinking about what you could make with Tsu'tey when you heard footsteps making you look up and see Enviso and his friends making your smile drop, they were the members of the clan who hated humans.

"Demon! What are you doing out here?" Enviso asked.

"Just getting some samples for Norm." You said looking at them. 

"You don't need to get any samples. You need to go back to where you came from and leave us alone." He said ripping the flowers out of your hands. 

"Okay, I'll just go back to the lab." You said not wanting to start anything with them. 

You went to leave but his friends stopped you as they started to circle around with a laugh every worst scenario ran through your head as they began to attack you from every angle until you felt your mask ripped off making you panic.

"Tsu'tey...." was the last thing that fell from your lips before everything faded to black.

Jake found you passed out in the woods all bloody and bruised with your mask smashed to pieces which made him panic as he picked you up and ran to you to the lab hoping it wasn't too late. Once he had you in Norm's and Max's care, he decided to tell Neytiri and Tsu'tey which he wasn't looking forward to because the second he told them Tsu'tey was seeing red. 

"Who did this?" Tsu'tey asked seeing your bloody and unconscious state.

"I don't know I found her passed in the woods by the pond with her mask smashed to a million pieces." Jake said showing it Tsu'tey. 

"Sounds like she attacked. Probably by those same people who had tried to attack Jake when he was first starting out here." Neytiri said as realization hit Tsu'tey. 

Tsu'tey decided to step outside and calm down and regain his thoughts as he hoped you would wake up. You started to stir around which made Jake and Neytiri let out a sigh of relief as they let Tsu'tey let you know you were waking up.

"Hey kid, how are you?" Jake asked. 

"I feel like shit. Where's Tsu'tey?" You asked making Jake and Neytiri smile. 

"I'm right here, my flower. How do you feel?" He asked taking a seat next to you as Jake and Neytiri gave you some privacy. 

"Everything hurts." You said making him frown. 

"I'm sorry, I can have Mo'at come look at you if you want, can you tell me what happened to you?" He asked. 

"I was in the forest picking some flowers when Enviso and his friends came up to me and started to harass me so I tried to leave but they wouldn't let so they started putting their hands on me like pushing and shoving me and then they yanked off my mask and wouldn't give it back, the last thing I remember was calling out for you before everything went back." You said as he shut his eyes trying to keep calm for you. 

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you." He said running a hand through your hair. 

"It's okay, you're here now." You said giving him a small smile.

You and Tsu'tey spent the rest of the evening together while you were looked after by Norm and Max. You two eventually fell asleep with his arm wrapped around you until sunrise started to shine through the lab. Tsu'tey gently got up planning on comforting Enviso and his little friends for their actions yesterday. He gently placed a kiss on your forehead before heading back towards Home Tree where he saw everyone gathering breakfast and then his eyes found enviso and his friends. 

"You dare put your hands on my mate!" Tsu'tey asked pushing Enviso. 

"Oh please Tsu'tey, that ugly little human isn't your mate." He said as Tsu'tey punched. 

"Yes, she is! And you and your little goons put your hands on her and almost killed her!" He shouted as everyone gathered around them. 

"Tsu'tey what is the meaning of this?" Mo'at asked as Jake pulled him off an unconscious Enviso. 

"Him and his little friends attacked my mate last night and nearly left her for dead, had it not been for Jake, she would be dead." He said. 

"Is this true?" Mo'at asked Envsio's friends. 

"We only wanted to scare her off from the village, the humans don't belong here, it's not right Mo'at." They said. 

"You are Tshink, therefore, you don't determine what is right, y/n is a valued member of this clan and has done a lot for us and not to mention Tsu'tey's mate. You will be punished for these crimes." She said. 

"So when did you and her mate?" Mo'at asked as she cleaned him up from the fight. 

"We haven't yet. I was going to ask her tonight, after nearly losing her it made me realize I don't want to wait any longer." He said making her smile. 

"Good, it's about time you two got together. Human or not she will be a great mate for you." Mo'at said making him smile. 

After getting cleaned up, he went back to the lab to go see you and would hopefully be returning with you as his official mate tomorrow. He walked into the lab and made his way toward the room that you usually stayed in while you were here. 

"My flower." He asked walking into the room and seeing you sitting on your bed. 

"Hi Tsu'tey, wait what happened to you?" You asked getting up and looking at his bruised face 

"It's alright my flower, this was handling enviso and his friends for what they did to you yesterday." He said pressing a kiss to your hand. 

"You what?" You asked shocked that he did it for you. 

"They deserved it, no one nearly kills my future mate and gets away with it." He said running a hand through your hair. 

"Future mate? Does that mean..?" You asked him making sure you were understanding the situation right. 

"Yes it does my flower, I would very much like to start courting you properly, and it's alright if you don't feel the same way I totally understand..." He started to say but you pressed a kiss on his lips.

"I would be honored to be your mate." You said with a smile. 

He smiled picking you and spinning you around making you giggle as he set you back on your bed and pressed a kiss on your lips. 

#tsu'tey x reader #tsu'tey #tsu'tey avatar #tsu'tey x you #tsu'tey x oc #tsu'tey x y/n #tsu'tey fluff #avatar x reader

[madnessandentropy]

I'd almost be willing to forgive people being so defensive of abusive romantic relationships if the abuse was more subtle, since a problem in mainstream media is that abuse is only portrayed as screaming yelling and causing physical harm + very vicious in your face insults and demeaning or shaming them and if it's not like that the victim is just over reacting.

And then I remember the abusive relationships they all desperately defend aren't subtle. In fact that abuse is painfully obvious, but the show and fans sweep it under the rug and try to blame it on trauma or forget about it completely and its never criticised or even acknowledged by the characters.

My main two examples are Stolas and Catra.

Let's see here

First Stolas. His isn't quite as in you face but it should be at least a little obvious. The way he demeans Blitz, treats him like a toy, always calls him his little imp (which is very yikes), and oh uh idk literally r*pes him by withholding something Blitz literally needs to get the money to survive and only gives it when Blitz has sex with him, which Blitz has been blatantly not willing to do and incredibly unhappy about.

I literally do not care what you say. If the deal is "you have sex with me and in return I'll give you the thing that will keep you alive" and the other person is extremely unwilling but is backed into a corner, it. Is. Rape.

That's honestly main problem with them.

But no. He's an a soft traumatised owl and Blitz is in the wrong for not giving him time of day or being open with him.

Now Catra.

Oooh Catra

"She's not abusive! She's a traumatised victim fighting in a war!"

Second part correct, first part not so much.

I have more to say here because her actions are much more in your face

Firstly she is often yelling/screaming at Adora, ripping apart her self esteem and calling her stupid (something which Adora comes to believe) and many other pretty shitty things you should not be saying to someone you've supposedly loved since the start. And she continues calling Adora stupid even during her confession.

Catra is constantly shaming and guilt tripping Adora. Repeating her "You left me!" jargon after Adora has given chance after chance, begging her to come with so they can stay together. And many times it is Catra doing the leaving. She has abandoned Adora in perilous situations multiple times.

Physical harm is everywhere. Yes they're on opposite sides of war. But notice how Adora is reluctant to fight Catra and when she does she tries to take her out in as non violent of a way as possible?

Catra does none of that. In fact, she treats Adora 10x worse than the enemies she barely knows, purposefully targeting Adora with her claws and attacking her, laughing in sheer joy as she tortures her in multiple different ways across the seasons. Even before Adora left the Horde, Catra is constantly manhandling her, yanking her around by the hair, tazing her and other actions like that.

Adora has scars on her back from Catra's claws.

Yes Catra had a redemption as poor as it was. Yes she loves Adora (apparently). Yes she had a traumatising upbringing.

But that does not make her actions okay.

No matter how many good reasons you have or how sorry you say you are, it doesn't make beating, torturing and tearing down the self esteem and mental health of your other half okay.

Even if Catra stopped (and she did not), Adora shouldn't have been painted as the one in the wrong in the series. Adora shouldn't have had to be the one to apologise (yes Catra apologised but only when she thought she was dying) and Adora shouldn't have gotten into a relationship with her abuser.

Spop had the perfect opportunity to show that, even if a person is traumatised and says they're sorry, its okay to walk away.

It's okay to care about your own wellbeing over theirs when they do nothing but treat you like trash.

You don't have to forgive them.

You don't have to return their feelings.

Sometimes it's better for the both of you to separate.

But they didn't.

Instead Catra can do no wrong. She's forgiven instantly. They never bring up the lives she's destroyed, the people she killed- including Glimmer's mother. She's just a soft baby who's actually not that bad and Adora is a terrible person for leaving the Horde after learning it was lying to them and committing mass genocide >:/... and an idiot for not noticing that the woman who tears her down and beats her is in love with her.

And I know HB is going to go down this route too, but with significantly worse storytelling

And that almost frightens me

How can I expect subtle abuse to be tackled in any way when in your face abuse like this is romanticised?

#hazbin hotel critical #helluva boss critical #vivziepop critical #spop critisism #spop critical #anti catradora #not very coherent but oh well #tw rape

[oneforthemunny]

sorry if youve answered this before, how did brie feel when older eddie and reader told her they were expecting

no need to apologize!

i really will be honest, i think there was a blurb on my other account that i haven't been able to find when it deleted :( it was like a whole thing rip.

but i'll do the quick kinda run down lol.

so brielle honestly was not happy when it happened. not in a mean malicious way, but more so in a "i'm being replaced" kinda way especially when she found out it was a girl.

before you guys start hating brielle, please remember- she was an accident baby, gina and eddie only got married and stayed together bc of her. unfortunately that was apparent to her as she got older. they were really young, which there's nothing wrong with, but gina and eddie kinda struggled at times financially because they weren't as established financially.

now, eddie's older, financially stable, marrying someone he really loves, and having a baby? it just makes her feel kinda insecure, like the back handed shit gina said her whole life about him was true.

so she kinda goes ghost. she won't talk to eddie, ignores his calls and is really kinda petty about it (she's gina's child too, do not forget). it really hurts eddies feelings, your feelings, everyone's really.

madeline kinda confronts her about it and they get in a little argument. brielle is stubborn to an absolute fault (both gina and eddie's trait) and digs her heels in more. she's burning bridges left and right, just being bitter and toxic (like her mother) and the guy she's dating kinda points that out. like "i get you're upset it's not what you had as a kid, but why are you taking it out on this kid? that's kinda fucked up to want someone else to be miserable just because you were." and she honestly gets read lol. someone needed to do it tbh, and she really realizes she's being super dumb and petulant.

comes to the baby shower with her tail tucked between her legs, apologizes to you and madeline and eddie. from then on, she's honestly so excited. absolutely loves delilah.

#oneforthemunny #munnytalks #older!dilf!eddie munson

[fuck-customers]

Pls tell me someone else has been through something similar.

TL;DR: Paid for a strangers groceries. Got asked out by him through his friend. Denied coz Idk why he did that & uh... he was deff not femme presenting so not my preference (& I still feel bad about it lmao). 🥲 #rip

○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

I don't hate this customer, but I constantly wonder if anyone has had a shared experience like this so if you have, PLEASE leave it in the comments (or reblogs).

(*Shared experience as in... a stranger/customer asking you out for something you did for them while on the clock or something you showed them at work that's a work perk.)

When I was a cashier at the american grocery store "English en Español", I was in a low income area. I constantly had cis men hitting on me for no valid reason, as I'm not the socially accepted aesthetic for "attractive" (probably because it was a small town so there wasn't much selection & I live in cities so I dressed/acted differently than most? Idk. I'm a transman, pre-t & pre-surgery, but present as femme for safety reasons, espec in small towns). I often didn't notice until coworkers told me after they had left or until the man, himself, told me straight up. It was common enough that we had a signal bc apparently I suck at picking up on people hitting on me. NO ONE working that night signaled for this one, despite several of my coworkers seeing this.

So needless to say, I did NOT see this coming.

There was a guy with two girls checking out their groceries at my register. It was late at night, close to closing. When it came to the guys portion of the groceries, he split things up to afford everything. (I feel that lol.) His card declined on the last part. He was maybe $25ish(?) short (idr exact amount). He asked to take off a few things & I was like "Wait, wait." & jumped around & slid my own card & paid for his stuff. At that time (about a decade ago) my finances were mostly stable. I was doing what I could for anyone who needed it. It wasn't abnormal for me to pay for people whose groceries got declined by under $50 if I had it that month. I was stuck at a grocery store all day & people quite literally need food. It's the *least* I could do while financially stable, yknow? He wasn't someone I singled out... just someone else I managed to have the privilege of helping.

But this guy looked like he was both a) about to cry & b) incredibly embarrassed. He barely whispered thank you to me before grabbing everything & RUNNING out the door. His two friends thanked me profusely & followed him out *normally*. Lol.

I didn't have anyone else to check out coz it was almost 10pm at that point, so I was just vibing at my register. Maybe 5 whole minutes later (yes, THAT LONG) one of the girls the guy was with comes back in & runs up to my register.

I didn't say anything coz I was confused. Why is everyone running? Why does everyone have so much energy? Jeeze. 💀

She said, quickly & excitedly, "Remember the guy you just saw that you paid for his groceries?"

Me: "👁👄👁... yeah?"

Her: "Well, he wanted to know if you wanted to go out with him. Like, on a date."

Me, confused, not knowing what to say, stalling: "Uhhhhhhm."

In my mind, I'm thinking: 'Why would he want that? Because I paid for his groceries? Does he think I'm one of those dommes that gives money to their subs? Oh no. I'm a sub, not a dom! Maybe he just thinks I'm nice? Oh god, he's gonna find out I'm NOT nice if we date... but I really only like femme presenting people. How tf do I say that in a small town where I don't want that to get out? I don't know what's happening here, but-"

Me, without hesitation: "Sorry, but ...I like women?"

Her: "👁👄👁... Was that a question?"

Me: "...No?"

Her: "... 👁👄👁 ...Okay, I'll tell him. Thanks!"

Again, with the running. Running out the door. To the car. They looked about the same age as me. Early 20s. Like... where are they getting this ENERGY??? 😭

He NEVER came into the location I worked at again while I was there for 3 years lmao. The two girls did. Ik he lived in the area. This was before the time of grocery delivery. So uh... I feel awful lol.

I also feel awful because I never really say no to anyone in that context or break up with anyone. I always force *them* to say no or break up with me so that I don't have to do it. 😅 I'd never in a million years lead anyone on coz that's completely unfair, but I really just need the other person to do it & I couldn't in that situation so it still sits in the back of my mind like, "oh my god what have I done" kind of catastrophic thoughts spiraling from there. Meanwhile, he probably doesn't even remember I exist. 💀

So rip to me, I guess.

Please tell me someone else has had some kind of interaction where a stranger/customer has asked you out or tried to get with you based on something you did (or did for them) on the clock or a work perk you showed them/they saw. 😭 Pls make me feel less alone in this lmao.

Also make sure to give the follow up tea! Did you go out? Did it work? Are you married? ☕️ 🦊

When I was 19 I gave a lady a coupon for money off (I'm 50 I forget how much it was for.) and this lady tried to hook me up with her 13yo daughter. I dunno if that counts.

-Rodney

[thebiscuiteternal]

Okokok, finally getting at least one "Things I'll Probably Never Write" post finished, and it's the one that goes in the file drawer of "Huaisang Is Accidentally Or Intentionally Given The Wrong Impression About The Circumstances Of His Brother's Sickness And/Or Death, Blames And Ruins Himself Trying To Prevent It/Bring Da-ge Back"

(whew, god)

SO.

One night in the time period between the bonfire incident and the would-have-been-fatal qi deviation, something... weird happens at the Unclean Realms in the middle of the night. The guards who were awake at the time it happened registered it as if (to rip off a description from an early aughts webcomic) the whole world magnified with a loud "whump" noise before everything went back to normal.

While most of them don't see it as a big deal since nothing dangerous seems to have happened, a couple of guards go to wake Nie Mingjue because their sect leader would be very annoyed to only hear about it in the morning and his anger has been uuuuuuhhhhh little bit touchy ever since that last fight with his brother.

Despite the odd hour, when Nie Mingjue rolls out of bed to take the report, he feels... fine. Great even. He can't remember the last time his head was so clear and the humming bond between him and Baxia was so vibrant.

Except Baxia is also practically pacing around the inside of his skull in distress about something that she can't seem to put in words, and none of this can possibly be coincidence.

So he scatters the guards to try and find the source of the disturbance, he finds himself at Nie Huaisang's door.

They haven't spoken in weeks and Huaisang has pretty much been avoiding him and while even thinking about his little brother would piss him off just the day before, now that he's suddenly healthy again, his feelings are a lot more complicated.

He'll deal with that later though, for now, Huaisang should at least be warned of what's going on-

The door's locked. Not just locked, bolted.

Nie Mingjue's just getting ready to knock and call out when he registers the smell of blood.

A lot of it.

(rest is going under a cut for injury description and also someone writing themselves a suicidal pep talk)

Nie Mingjue and one of the guards who comes running at his shout wind up breaking down the door to Nie Huaisang's room.

Aside from the biggest/heaviest pieces of furniture, it's still pretty starkly empty since Huaisang hadn't gotten around to replacing any of the burnt stuff, which only makes the huge array on the floor and the horrible mess of a body lying on it stand out even more.

Nie Mingjue barely recognizes his own brother under all the blood from what was clearly an induced qi deviation.

By some miracle, Huaisang is still breathing when the healers arrive, but he's in such bad shape that they have to restart his heart twice before finally managing to get him into a stable coma.

If a coincidence was unlikely before, it's impossible now. Nie Mingjue knows that whatever his baby brother did to himself is the reason he now feels so healthy.

As he was lying on the floor, Huaisang was clutching a bundle of bloody papers and scrolls to his chest, so Mingjue gets what archivists they have out of bed to begin cleaning them up in the hopes of deciphering what they had to do with what Huaisang had done.

Though not everything is still legible, they gradually piece together an extremely difficult ritual that had been buried in the deepest darkest shelves of the inner family library, an early attempt at dealing with the threat the strongest sabers posed to their own wielders.

They also find a page in Huaisang's writing, also spattered in his own blood, but partially legible.

---

-udied it backwards and fo- -at least twelve times. If Da-g the current and previous Nie Zongzhu ever saw- -apparent why they never attempted it.

-a core like mine- -good as dead. Not even sure if I have enough- -instead of just a few more years.

Thinking about- -comments back in Gusu on splitting- With more people, there'd be less threat to all-

No... No, it wouldn't work.

-only if they love Nie-zongzhu more than they hate me, and even then- -keep someone from telling- -as soon as he finds out, I can already hear- -a selfish coward for asking such a thing of the sect.

And then- -right back where I started.

Doing this alone.

Better to just- -one brave thing in my life.

Besides, if it does work as outlined, then this would be the best possible outcome. Nie-zongzhu and Baxia will be themselves again, Er-g Zewu-jun and Lianfang-zun will get their sworn brother back, and the sect gets to keep the leader they actually like. And no one will ever have to tolerate me again.

Everybody wins.

---

When Nie Huaisang first hears that his brother is ill, and has been for some time, of course he immediately remembers what happened with their father. The shouting, the insults, the bruises... the feeling of hands crushing his throat.

For the briefest moment, he wonders if this means maybe his brother doesn't hate him, that it's just the sickness like it was for their father, but listening in more makes it clear that the speakers believe qi sickness mostly exacerbates problems the sufferer already had.

Which... oh.

Okay.

He gets it now.

Clearly, it means his father and brother both hated him and just managed to hide it until he, stupid selfish pain in the ass that he is, aggravated their sickness enough that it came out in the open.

And for the whole sect to have just gone along with the rages... For everyone to have been hiding this from him...

Well, then.

So when he winds up digging up an opportunity to take on all of his brother's qi poisoning, which comes with a very high possibility of killing him immediately because of the weakness of his core, comes up, he doesn't hesitate.

#mdzs #nie sect #nie mingjue #nie huaisang #whump #mostly #very slim chance of a happier ending??? perhaps??? #ideas

[evilkaeya]

Steve and Robin are out having fun and see homophobic posters and boards surrounding the church. They look at each other with something I mind.

They take apart everything and leave it trashed with a victorious grin but not without being caught by a wondering metal head, Eddie, who just stood shocked and they turned to him with a nervous smile as they filed away.

"Cool." He muttered. "Didnt know you two were- a friend of Dorothy's?" He questions easily. Steve was confused but Robin felt tension release.

"Who's Dorothy?" The confused bisexual prodded.

"It's a- it's a mutual friend," Robin said quickly and threw a light punch on Eddie’s shoulder who laughed and took it, "didn't know you knew her as well, Eddie."

Steve stood there baffled. He was, well, he was still awestruck by Eddie, wearing a loose crop top and ripped jeans and hair tied up in a bun and maybe, maybe Steve was having a little crisis processing his thoughts here.

He’d met Eddie only a handful times before while picking up the kids from their dnd club. Eddie was a pretty chill dude, that’s all he knew. (And pretty fucking hot too but Steve didn’t need to admit that)

"Oh, thought it was pretty obvious Buckley," Eddie replied, looking sheepishly at Steve and then back at Robin, "he isn’t?"

Robin looked back at him for a moment. Steve must look like a deer in headlights right now because she giggled before saying, "he is, but I don't think he remembers her."

"I don't? Wait, I know her? And you two know each other?" Steve asked, running his brain at full speed down the memory lane to find out who the fuck Dorothy was.

"Yeah, band kids and all that. And you know Dorothy too silly," she said, "maybe you forgot. I'll reintroduce you to her later."

Steve nodded, feeling a little confused and defeated still. Whatever. Their job here was done. 

He didn’t really care or think about this Dorothy until a few days later.

It turned out Dorothy was a deity of friendship apparently, because Eddie started visiting Family Video almost everyday to talk to him. and Robin. Mostly Robin.

One mutual connection was all it took for them to be best friends now? Steve would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little jealous. Eddie being the absolutely sweetest person and sending Steve cute smiles did not help with the situation.

He decided to bring it up one day while sitting in a diner with Robin and Nancy.

“Hey Rob, when will I get to meet you and Eddie’s friend Dorothy? It’s been a month, introduce us already,” he said and Nancy choked on her juice for some reason. She looked at Robin and then back at Steve.

“Dorothy?” she asked.

“Yeah it’s a, it’s a friend,” Robin looked pale all of a sudden, like the floor was collapsing. Did he ask something wrong? “Uh, Steve, Dorothy’s out of the town now-”

“Me too,” Nancy interrupted and both of them turned to look at her, “I’m, I’m a friend of Dorothy too.”

What the fuck.

“You are?” Robin’s voice was shaky as she asked and Nancy nodded, “you aren’t joking?”

“No Robin,” she smiled, “what do you say we invite Dorothy to mine tonight? We can do some catch up.”

“What? I thought Dorothy was out of town?” Steve chimed in.

“She, uh, came back few days ago actually,” Nancy said, “and it’s gonna be girls sleepover Steve. You can meet her later.”

Steve was still confused as hell to why Robin looked like her ass was gonna fall off but didn’t prod on the matter. He shrugged instead, letting the topic drop.

2 days later he was on his way to work when he spotted Jonathan and Argyle at local park, sprawled on the grass together. Argyle was laying on Jonathan’s lap, talking about something as Jonathan lazily played with a strand of his hair.

They were like a pair of cats, Steve noticed. Inseparable. Always snuggled together. Always living in their little bubble. It was cute.

“Hey,” Steve greeted as he jogged over to them.

“Hey Steve,” Jonathan said.

“Wassup dude,” Argyle said and then arched an eyebrow, “what time is it?”

Steve looked at his wristwatch, “uh- 8:30?”

“It’s time,” he said and stood up, heading towards were his van was parked.

“Time for what?”

“Time for us to escape reality,” Jonathan answered for him, “you wanna join?”

“Nah, I have work. Maybe later,” he replied and Jonathan nodded, laying back on the grass again.

Did Jonathan know about Dorothy too? He wondered. Maybe he did. Maybe everybody in the town knew about her except him.

“You friends with Dorothy too or something?” He asked without much thought.

Jonathan sat up immediately, looking rather- offended. Pissed. Was Dorothy one of his ex girlfriend?

“Steve,” he said, “I thought you changed.”

“What?”

“You-” he stood up this time, dragging his hand down his face, “didn’t think you were still- homophobic.”

“What- what are talking about?” Steve exclaimed, “I’m not! What does that have to do with anything I said?”

“But you asked if I was friends with Dorothy and you asked like, like you were bothered by it.”

“It’s because all of my friends seem to know this girl except me! Thought you’d know too,” he said, “I swear I don’t know anyone by that name but apparently everyone else does-”

Jonathan was staring at him like Steve was growing a cactus out of his head. Steve wasn’t sure what to say.

And then he started laughing, hand clenching his stomach and all. Steve was dumbfounded by the reaction, was this guy already high? He briefly considered leaving Jonathan and asking Argyle instead. He came to Hawkins 3 months ago but maybe he knew Dorothy as well. He won’t be surprised if he did.

“You-” Jonathan said then, “you really don’t know do you?”

“What?”

He placed a hand on Steve’s shoulder, “asking that basically means asking someone if they’re gay, Steve. Dorothy is uh- Dorothy? From the wizard of Oz?” he explained, “it’s like a secret code. To ask if someone is gay without saying it directly.”

Oh

Oh

“Oh,” Steve said, “I’m gonna kill Robin.”

“Maybe don’t,” Jonathan suggested, laughing, “Are you?”

“What?” He’s been saying ‘what’ a lot lately, he realized.

“Are you a friend of Dorothy, Steve?”

“Yeah man, yeah I am, I guess,” he nodded, “I- I like both.”

“Okay,” he smiled and patted his arm, “go get him tiger.”

“How the fuck do you know who I like?”

“I have eyes, Steve,” he waved a hand, “now shoo, go.”

Steve didn’t need to be told again. He turned around and ran. He needed to tell Eddie now, it felt like an urgency eating him up from inside.

He reached Eddie’s trailer ten minutes later, panting and out of breath. He knocked and Eddie opened the door seconds later, his hair a mess. He was wearing a  They stared at each other for a moment.

“I wanna say ‘what a pleasant surprise’ but I can’t. It’s eight in the fucking morning Stevie, and it’s Sunday! What are you doing-”

“I’m, also friends with Dorothy,” he said. Fuck, he’d said it.

Eddie was silent. Too silent and his expression was unreadable. This was not the reaction Steve was hoping for here. 

What was he hoping anyway? 

Fuck, maybe he should leave. Maybe he should just tell him to forget about it and head to work-

Eddie grabbed his chin and made him look up, into his eyes. “You came here running to tell me that?”

“Yeah, it felt- it felt urgent.”

“Oh yeah?” he raised an eyebrow, “why?”

“You know why, Eddie.”

“I wanna hear you say it.”

Fuck it. He’d come this far, he wasn’t going to turn back now.

“I like you,” he said, “I like you so much I feel like I’m gonna explode whenever I look at you. I can’t keep my eyes off you, Eddie, I- I want to hold you and kiss you and- be with you,” he finished softly, his voice betrayed him at the end, “there, I said it, you asshole.”

Eddie smiled. “Come’re sweetheart,” and he closed the distance between them.

The kiss was everything Steve hoped for and more. He let Eddie pull him inside and close the door behind him, let him press his back against the wall and kiss him senseless. Ectasy clouded his mind as he kissed Eddie back like his life depended on it. He thinks he won’t mind kissing Eddie forever if he could. Won’t mind feeling Eddie’s smiles against his lips for the rest of his life if he was allowed to. It was perfect.

He’ll have to thank Dorothy later.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #ronance #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #jargyle #fruity six #stranger things #steve x eddie #asks #I ended up writing a mini fic wow #I call this 'Steve Harrington's journey of finding Dorothy'

[johnnyraine]

Next to Me - Ch. 5

Ch. 1, Ch. 2, Ch. 3, Ch. 4, Ch. 6

Words: 1,336

18th of January, 2023

A.N.: Sorry, it took so long. At first, it was general laziness; then there was a flood and I had to leave; then I was depressed; I got back and it was general laziness again & cleanup; I finished a fic, but no one cared for it, so depressed again; then I finally finished this chapter.

~~~~~

"We can do whatever we want he-"

You stop listening to your "partner." Apparently, there isn't really much that the Militia "does." The patrol you're currently on was your idea, and even then, you only mentioned it. As if it's what they do.

It's not. And your partner decided to continuously remind you.

"Why would you tell Aguni that? Why did he listen to you anyway?" He complains.

'I honestly don't know,' You think, regretting this.

You still remember Aguni's empty stare before he split you up into pairs. Luckily, Niragi was put with someone else.

'I might've just beat him if we were together.'

An hour passes with your partner complaining, taking swigs from a bottle, or just harassing fellow Beach members.

"Okay," You say.

After the latest, now uncomfortable, Beach members turn a corner, you grab "Ken-something," and throw him against the wall.

"He- Ack!" He chokes out, dropping his bottle and grabbing at the arm on his throat.

Pushing against his throat, you point directly in his face.

"If I hear another word, I will rip your fucking tongue out. Okay?" He nods, eyes wide. "If you touch, grab, or even say some shit to any other Beach members, I'll break your arm."

"Got it?"

He chokes out a yes and you let him go.

"Come on, we still have some time left."

The rest of your patrol passes in silence.

Your next partner, Daisuke, is much better. He took to your idea of patrols with some determination. There's no drinking, complaining, at least not about the patrol, or harassing others.

He seems like a fine person.

"Another one," He says, seeing another couple being "busy" down the hall.

"You'd hope they'd find a room instead," You say, moving on.

"Preferably Hatter's. See if he likes a free sex show."

You chuckle, "He probably would."

Back and forth your conversation goes, enjoying the other's company. You believe by the end of your patrol, Daisuke will likely be one of the few people you can tolerate here.

There's a pause in the conversation as you're in your last thirty minutes with him. As you believe it'll end in silence, Daisuke asks you something.

"Why did you hit Niragi?"

You should've known he'd say something about that, but it doesn't stop you from making a face anyway.

Coming to a stop, you face him, "Because he deserved it. Simple as that."

It's Daisuke's turn to make a face, though you can't tell if it's approval or not.

He motions to continue walking, "Do not get me wrong, I think Niragi deserved it. Many in the Militia do. But…"

He stops and turns to you.

"You could have died, W/l/n. You are fortunate that you know each other."

"Why's that?"

He raises an eyebrow, "How long have you been here?"

You think about it for a minute.

"Maybe a week or so."

"And you have not seen the Militia's more violent members or their violent tendencies?"

"No, I've been hiding," You answer, beginning to lose your patience.

"Niragi is known for being one of, if not, the most violent member. I have seen him beat a man with his gun for annoying him. With no hesitation, he killed an entire group of "traitors" who simply tried to leave."

You look like you ate a lemon, anger fills your entire being.

"Yet," He says. "When Aguni pulled a gun on you, Niragi tried to stop him. With him also calling out your name, it is evident you two know each other."

"Hatter stopped Aguni," You grit out.

"But Niragi tried to stop him before Hatter showed up."

You stare at him for a few moments, refusing to answer some unasked question. Daisuke gives in first and your patrol ends sometime later.

'Well, he left an impression,' You think.

"Y/n."

You startle and look at Aguni with some of the Militia.

'Even when he speaks normally, it sounds like barking.'

Or perhaps you were just distracted, thinking about the new information you have about your old friend.

"You two are together. Go."

He dismisses you and you look at your next partner.

"Why would I work with him?' He asks incredulously.

Your eyes catch your partner. Niragi sneers at you before looking at Aguni. The man simply blinks, looking at Niragi until he looks away.

And so it begins.

However long passes with you two in tense silence. Honestly, you expected Niragi to have said something by now. But, he's silent. You don't know why. For you, you haven't spoken because you think you might punch him.

'Calm yourself, Y/n. Calm yourself.' You take deep breaths.

"What's wrong with you?" Niragi asks with an attitude.

"What the fuck's wrong with you?"

'Fuck,' You think.

You just blurted it out, not even thinking.

"What?" 

He gets in your face and you grab his shirt.

"I said what the fuck's wrong with you, Niragi?!  I don't see you in years and the first thing I see, is you attempting to abduct someone for your fucking boss."

Throwing him for a second, he recovers in a rage. Shoving you into a wall, he didn't plan on your grip being so strong.

Your back hits the wall and Niragi is knocked off balance. You headbutt each other.

You curse, letting him go.

"Are you seriously still such an idiot?!" He yells, clutching his forehead.

You bristle at that. Just barely, you withhold your anger. Taking a moment to collect yourself, when you open your eyes, Niragi's gone.

"Fu-" You hiss, taking another deep breath.

Aguni later rips you a new one. Even though he didn't raise his voice, you feel cowed. You don't know if you can take him. You may not be that smart, but you certainly aren't that dumb.

The next time you see Niragi is on a car ride to a game. You are unfortunately in the same group.

It's an awkward ride.

The others must sense the tension because no one says anything. Leaving you all in a long silence. The driver glances at you in the mirror, but quickly looks away from your gaze.

'I'm making a face, aren't I?' You rub your face.

You arrive at the venue; it's diamonds.

You sigh, dropping your head.

~~~~~

Dragging yourself to your room, you disregard the thought of hiding and sleeping elsewhere.

The game wasn't nearly as hard as you believed it would be. That doesn't mean it was particularly easy.

There were six of you: two from the militia; two regular Beach members, and you and Niragi. By the end, there are four.

The only part you care about is that no one had to die. You are certain of it. The last Militia member even knows it.

"That fucker!" You growl.

Niragi was on some fucking high. Though only a suspicion, you believe he knew how to solve the game, but chose to say nothing. When one person died, it was an unfortunate incident.

You weren't paying attention to anyone in particular.

When a Militia member died, he was in hysteria. Apparently, he knew the previous person.

When he died, you saw Niragi smirk. As if enjoying it!

You paid attention when someone else was likely going to die. However long ago it was, you could still tell Niragi was hiding something.

It's only because it's still only a suspicion that you feel somewhat bad.

You "handled" him. Hitting and shaking him to and fro, screaming at him to "fucking help, damn it!"

If the timer wasn't running low, you know he would have fought back harder. He reluctantly helped to win the game, after which he simmered in the car ride back "home."

You know it wasn't just because of what you did, but because others saw.

But you can't care much more about it. Two people are unnecessarily dead.

Collapsing into your bed, you don't even block the door.

"I wish, he'd try something," You mumble into the sheets, just hoping he'd give you a reason to beat his ass.

In no time, you fall asleep, awaiting the next day and its problems.

← Chapter 4 - Chapter 6 →

#suguru niragi x male reader #niragi x male reader #alice in borderland x male reader #comeback and rewrite #x male reader

[underforeversgrace]

the walls you hide behind (I saw the truth inside the real you) - 9

title: the walls you hide behind (I saw the truth inside the real you)

words: 5,072

Story Summary: Jazz is tired of the ghosts, tired of her parents not doing enough, tired of Phantom's recklessness and her brother's persistent exhaustion. When she yells all of her frustration at her parents after nearly getting killed by a ghost, she gets sent to Vlad's mansion in Wisconsin for the weekend - where she's offered a chance. She could have the ability to fight back, protect her brother and her town. Jazz leaps at the prospect. When she returns to Amity Park at the end of the weekend, it's with abilities and strength of her own, and she's fueled by anger and disdain. And she's got her eyes, first, on Danny Phantom.

Chapter 9 of 10: I Can't See, But I'll Follow You

AO3

Tumblr Chapter One

Tumblr Chapter Ten Will Be Here

Beta by: @probably-dead

(Also, check out the AO3 link for some really awesome art by @englandamericaitaly!)

~~~

Weeks bled into months as Jazz slowly integrated with ‘Team Phantom,’ as Tucker kept calling them. She learned her way around their parents’ equipment so she could ‘help’ fight ghosts.

The more time passed, the more guilt she felt at not fessing up about being the Trapper, but also the more she realized she simply couldn’t. Too long had passed with her lying to them, too many more lies by omission and outright dishonesty had occurred in the months since the incident with Dan.

Her parents’ weapons were easier to learn than she’d anticipated, at least, largely due to the fact that, apparently, Vlad had entirely ripped off their designs in her own weapons. She knew how to work them because they were exactly the same as what she used as the Trapper. She wished she could say that was the biggest surprise when it came to Vlad. Unfortunately, a few days after the entire CAT incident, Plasmius had shown up to fight Phantom and Jazz had gotten the entire story about Vlad while bandaging up burns littering Danny’s body.

The next time he’d shown up, the Trapper had had a lot of fun beating the hell out of the vampiric ghost. She wasn’t sure why Plasmius had taken it easy on her during their scuffle, but she knew he had. Her best guess was he didn’t want to risk hurting his ‘pawn,’ which she did know was how he saw her.

Vlad had known her brother was Phantom when he’d made Jazz into a weapon and pointed her at Danny like a loaded gun, when he’d cleverly stoked her stubbornness and made her suffer. It was a poetic irony, she supposed. She’d learned more about Danny’s accident, knew he had felt agony just like she had. Her pain had lasted longer, she’d surmised, but his torment had been worse, his had killed him.

Maybe that was why she had to continue to suffer - why karma had declared her an enemy. He had died and she hadn’t. Everytime she came close to confessing, something would come up, some shame she had would be remembered. She had only been hunting him for a few months, but those handful were enough to leave a lifetime of shame in their wake. Jazz wondered, sometimes, how her parents would finally react when they learned the truth - she wasn’t a fool, she knew they’d learn eventually - but the longer it took them to figure it out, the more scars they gave their son.

Jazz was tired. She was tired of the ghosts, tired of the pain, tired of the lies, the bandages she gave to Danny and, in hiding, gave to herself. She was just tired. She honestly wasn’t sure anymore who was more exhausted - herself or her brother. Both of them still fought, still protected the city, but Jazz did so by herself. Danny had his friends and Jazz to fall back on.

Jazz had no one, because of her own fear of confessing to her brother. Yet still, the Trapper appeared whenever she could, desperately still trying to keep Danny out of as many fights as possible, even though he could more than hold his own.

It came as a surprise, then, when Mrs. Tetslaff cornered her one day after gym.

“I need to talk to you about your brother,” she said gruffly and Jazz forced down a sigh.

“Yes?” She answered, resigned. Jazz had never disliked a teacher until all of this began - how blind were they, to miss the bruises and scrapes littering her and her brother?

“He’s failing gym. The President’s test is coming up and he needs a gym buddy to whip his scrawny butt into shape so he doesn’t fail.”

Jazz crinkled her nose in irritation. Danny was a verifiable badass - he may not be able to bench press a bus when he was human, but he could still juggle bowling balls like they weighed nothing, and that didn’t even mention his stamina or speed. “Really?”

Tetslaff snorted. “You seen your brother, kid? Boy’s a twig who could get knocked over by a soft breeze.”

Jazz had to bite back her laugh - between herself and Danny, they were the two most dangerous people in this school, by a large margin. She may not be as super powered as him, but she was no regular human. “I see what you mean,” she lied. “What do you need from me?”

“Well, on account of your whole… family thing… I just don’t feel comfortable assigning another student to be his gym buddy, too much chance of ending up at FentonWorks.”

Jazz leaned her head back, unable to stop the groan that escaped her. “But since I live there, I’m a great choice, right?”

Tetslaff shrugged. “You’re fit enough, especially when compared to your brother.”

Again, Jazz wanted to remind this lady that the two of them had the power to level this school, but she didn’t. It was petty, anyway. “I’ll work with him this evening.”

The gym teacher did something with her face that roughly approximated a grin and handed Jazz a piece of paper going over what all would be tested. Pull ups, push ups, running a mile, crunches, and squats. Jazz managed to hide her eye roll until after she’d turned and walked away.

“How are you failing gym?” Jazz asked, exasperated, as soon as she found Danny after the final bell, hanging out with Sam and Tucker as usual, isolated off in a corner of Casper’s grounds.

Danny shrugged. “I can’t really explain suddenly becoming an Olympic level athlete, can I?”

“Especially not when he’s been a fitness failure for fourteen years up until then,” Tucker added, grinning. His grin was quickly replaced by a yelp when Danny volleyed a small ectoblast at his friend, who leaped out of the way.

“You’re failing too, Tucker,” Sam added, rolling her eyes.

“How?” Jazz asked. “You people fight ghosts! And you,” she added, poking at Danny with her finger to drive home her point, “aren’t human! You can easily at least get a C in this class!”

Danny flinched slightly at her words and Jazz looked at him in confusion. She’d heard him say dozens of times by now how he wasn’t human, said it with humor. “That’s the problem, isn’t it?” Danny said.

“What?”

“You don’t know what it’s like, Jazz. To suddenly not be human anymore, to have abilities you don’t understand and can’t control,” Danny explained. I know more about that than you think I do, she thought grimly, remembering how she had to learn to stop jumping on accident when she walked after her own transformation. “I don’t have… I don’t know, control? The ability to tell what’s enough and what’s too much? So I don’t give any.”

“You don’t know at what point it stops looking human and starts looking ghostly?” She asked, understanding.

Danny nodded. “I don’t know where the limit is. So I do the absolute bare minimum.”

“Then we have a problem,” Jazz said, pulling the President’s Test guidelines from her pocket and handing it to him. “You have to pass this or you’re going to fail. Tetslaff stopped me earlier and made me your designated fitness buddy.”

Danny and Tucker groaned, but Sam cackled. “I told you there was no way Tucker would get a buddy and you wouldn’t, Danny!”

“But I can’t!” Danny protested, scowling as he read the sheet Jazz gave him. “I’m not that good an actor. I don’t know how to try to hold myself back while acting like I don’t know what I’m doing!”

“C’mon, little brother,” Jazz said with a sigh. “We’ll work on your acting skills and try to establish a baseline of how to pretend to be normal.”

“Wanna fly home?” He asked, grinning, his earlier low mood gone.

“Of course,” she answered with a smile. She’d been right when she guessed Danny’s favorite ability was flight. They double checked the coast was clear before he triggered his transformation, Sam and Tucker waving farewell as Danny reached out for Jazz and she took his hand. She shivered as he shared his power with her, lifting the two of them with ease far into the sky.

“I’m sorry about how I reacted to the human comment,” he said suddenly, when they were high above the ground.

“It’s fine,” Jazz said, waving it away. “I didn’t know it still bugged you, I’m sorry for bringing it up.”

“I didn’t think it still bugged me either,” Danny admitted, the two of them drifting leisurely through the sky. “I thought I got over it. It’s been a year, y’know? You’re supposed to get used to things after some time has passed.”

“Danny, you’re allowed to still be emotional about a traumatic event.”

“It wasn’t that bad…”

“Danny.” Jazz said sternly.

He sighed. “Okay, it was awful. An eleven on a scale out of ten. But I survived and it made me superhuman. I’m supposed to be fine by now.”

Jazz looked at him sadly as he lowered them to the ground in an alley near the house. “Trauma with a happy ending is still trauma, Danny. Please, at least with me, don’t bottle it up? I understand more than you think I do.”

Danny just shrugged, flickering back to his human half and shoving his hands into his pockets. “I appreciate the pep talk Jazz, but you can never understand what I’ve gone through, what I’ve had to do to survive. The lying, the secret identity, the missed classes and skipped sleep… the pain,” his voice broke at the word, “you just can’t understand.”

You mean all the things I’ve grown familiar with, too? The struggle of hiding yourself, of forming lie after lie? The pain as you heal from injuries, the pain of feeling like you’re being ripped apart from the inside because you made a stupid choice? I’ve got twice as much, now - hiding my own secrets along with yours.

“Even if I can’t fully understand it, let me be your safety net, okay? I know there are some things you just can’t tell Sam or Tucker, ever, but I want you to feel safe telling anything to me,” Jazz said, patting his shoulder reassuringly. And hope you still feel safe around me if you learn what I am.

Danny shrugged again, forcing her hand away. “I don’t want to talk about this right now. We have gym stuff to work on. Do you have any bright ideas on how I can pretend to be human?”

“First, by remembering you are human,” she said, unlocking the gate to the back yard with Danny following behind. “Then we’ll get an idea of the upper limit of your abilities as a human and figure out what a C minus student’s limits would actually be.”

“C minus?”

“Would pre-accident you do any better than that?”

“Shut up.”

Jazz laughed as she pulled the grading sheet from her pocket, smoothing it out. “Okay, so, first I think we should look at running, because -“

“Get down!” Danny yelled, grabbing her arms and granting her his intangibility as concussive blasts sounded around them, her ears ringing as the shockwaves settled. Danny pushed her behind him, transforming back into Phantom as she stumbled and fell, a crater now formed in the ground.

“That ghost sense of yours really is nearly useless, isn’t it?” Jazz asked, clutching her head even as she swore internally. She had trained herself to ignore the signals screaming Ghost! at her the more time she’d spent around Danny.

“I’m busy, Skulker,” Danny said, squatting into a protective stance, firmly between Jazz and the hunter.

“You’re never too busy for me, ghost child,” Skulker proudly declared.

“Yeah, I can be. Actually, just assume I always am,” he said, shooting at Skulker with an ectoblast.

“Aw, I’m injured, whelp,” Skulker mock-whined, dodging the blast and lobbying one of his own in return, grinning wickedly at Jazz. Danny swore as he realized Skulker hadn’t aimed at him, jumping in front of Jazz and throwing up a shield.

Skulker opened his mouth to say something but with a flash of light he was suddenly gone without a trace. Danny lowered the shield, turning and reaching out to help Jazz up.

“What was -" Jazz started, accepting the offered hand, only to be yet again cut off as the same white light suddenly enveloped her and Danny. “- that?” She finished, rubbing the blind spots from her eyes, only to suddenly find herself in some sort of jungle, surrounded by green that reached so high above her it nearly blotted out the blue of the sky high above.

“If I had an allowance, I’d be willing to bet all of it on ‘another Fenton invention’ being the culprit,” Danny said.

“Did they teleport us?” Jazz asked, still trying to blink the dark spots from her vision.

“No, but I think we just got a guest role on the next Honey, I Shrunk the Kids movie,” Danny said, pointing straight upwards. Jazz had to squint through the fading blackness until she finally realized she was still beside the house, the bright orange blob in the sky being her father leaning out the Ops Center window. “Dad had said something a few nights ago about working on an invention to shrink ghosts in size.”

“I hope it has a reverse button,” Jazz grumbled, wiping dirt from her pants.

“So do I.”

“So now we have to get all the way up there. Can you fly us?” she asked, eyeing the wall of the house - it may as well be miles away.

“‘Course I can,” Danny said. Jazz grabbed his hand and he lifted them, but almost immediately he began straining to catch his breath. He sat her down on top of a blade of grass, taller than any tree Jazz had ever seen. He collapsed to his knees on the blade next to her, a sheen of sweat across his face. “Uh. Maybe not. My powers. Something feels wrong. My core -” Danny clutched at his chest, visibly fighting to breathe.

Jazz managed to not panic, though just barely. Danny didn’t have to breathe as much as a normal human - she didn’t think she’d seen him fight for air since his accident, even punches to the stomach that knocked the wind out of her didn’t phase him. “Are you okay?” Danny glared at her and she held her hands up in mock surrender. “Sorry. Standard question.”

“We’re gonna have to go the long way,” Danny decided. Jazz briefly considered outing her secret and flying them up herself, but decided that admitting she was her brother’s ‘enemy’ while he was so weak he could barely fly wasn’t the best idea. Danny flew back over to her and had them halfway back down when gravity suddenly grabbed at them both, sending them tumbling to the ground.

Jazz landed on her shoulder and she bit her tongue painfully to keep from crying out. The nanobots stirred angrily below her flesh, a swarm of ants demanding to be released in response to her pain and rising adrenaline. “Are you okay?” She managed, forcing herself to her feet and going to Danny’s side. He was curled into a ball, again grabbing at his chest.

“No,” Danny groaned, visibly having to force himself to sit up. “My core. Using my powers hurts.”

“C’mon,” Jazz said, helping Danny to his feet, even as he leaned heavily against her injured shoulder. She winced but Danny thankfully didn’t notice, too absorbed in his own problems. “We have to get to the Ops Center and reverse this.”

She helped him forward for several staggering steps until he pulled his weight off of her. “I think I’m okay, the pain’s gone away. So long as I avoid using my powers, maybe I’ll be alright,” Danny said.

In typical Fenton’s Luck fashion, as soon as the words were out of his mouth, a flash of white briefly obscured his feet. Both of them covered their eyes from the sudden bright light.

“Well. That can’t be good,” Danny said, looking at his red tennis shoes.

“Has this ever happened before? A partial transformation?” Jazz asked, the sight of Phantom’s suit and Fenton’s shoes somehow unnerving. The two continued to the door as they talked.

“Only once - the first time I used my Ghostly Wail, it was really draining. But this feels… different? Like my core is… I don’t know, diminishing?”

“The weapon that shrunk us. Could it shrink your core out of existence?” Jazz asked, frowning. 

Danny paled, the possibility seemingly aging him far beyond his fourteen years. “That would kill me.”

“What?” Jazz asked, stopping and grabbing his arm, forcing him to turn to face her. “What do you mean?”

“It… it was something future Vlad told me. I killed - uh, Phantom killed me, I mean, Fenton. You know what I mean. But my human body didn’t decay right. I - he - future human me - resembled a charred corpse within hours of his - my? - murder.”

“Ancients,” Jazz muttered, horrified. “That’s how dark Phantom killed, uh, him?”

Danny shook his head. “No. It’s how the portal killed me. Apparently, my human side’s death was quick and didn’t leave visible injuries. No, the body began burning to a crisp after the death.”

“Wait. Are you telling me that without your ghost half…?”

“My core is what keeps me alive. As gross as it is, Vlad did tests on future me’s corpse to see why it… did that. I don’t know the science of how he figured that out - I don’t think I want to know what happened to my body - but without my core, I’m a goner. If my core is fading… The only reason Vlad lived is because he isn’t fully half and half, like I am.”

“Then we need to hurry,” Jazz said, her heart dropping as she gazed up, realizing what she had to do - her secret versus her brother’s life? His life won, every time. “Danny, I -”

Their conversation was again interrupted by blasts, but Danny wasn’t able to protect her this time. Jazz screamed when the blasts sent her flying and she slammed into a boulder-sized pebble head first, gasping for air as pain flooded her senses, dimming the rest of the world and scattering coherence to the wind.

“Jazz!” Someone yelled, her brain too fuzzy to recognize the distorted voice, though it was familiar.

She struggled to her feet, hearing nearby sounds of fighting as though she had cotton in her ears. Groaning, she touched where the pain was the worst, on the back of her head. Jazz stared at her hand and knew she should be more concerned by the red paint on it… but she had something else to do. What was it? She couldn’t remember. There was something screaming in her head, there was a pull in her chest.

“Jazz!” The familiar-but-unable-to-be-placed voice said as a weight forced her to the ground and heat rushed around her. Oh, the person had tackled her. Why? Her entire body hurt already, and that didn’t help. Rude. “Jazz, come on! Damn it Skulker, if you’ve hurt her, it will be your head on my wall!”

What an odd name - Skulker. Did he skulk a lot? Maybe a friend of Sam’s… “Jazz, please!” Danny said, shaking her shoulders. When had she stood up? Oh! The voice was Danny!

“Danny? You sound weird…” Jazz said. Or, at least, she thinks she said it? She had gotten distracted remembering that time Danny had inhaled helium at a birthday party for one of the neighbor’s kids. What was that kid’s name…?

A robotic laugh grated against her aching skull and her entire body tensed on instinct. This voice was familiar too, but it carried a sense of danger, entirely different than Danny’s comfortable familiarity had been. “As if you could beat me, whelp.”

Jazz turned her head to look at the figure the uncomfortable voice came from, squinting. Her vision was still blurred, she could make out a lot of silvery gray and blue, backlit by a light she couldn’t find the source of.

Something shuddered beneath her skin - not painful, but not pleasurable either. She scratched at her arm, expecting to see a bug or a bite or something that caused the feeling, and was surprised to find nothing, just unblemished skin.

“How many times have I beaten you by now? A rusty trash can puts up more of a fight!” Danny said.

Jazz stared at him. Had her brother always had white hair? Was hers white too? She pulled her braid forward, confirming it was red and not white. That white… there was something important about that white.

“You’re powerless, ghost child. You’re nothing against me without death’s gifts.”

Death? Ghosts? Was Skulker going to hurt Danny? The thought triggered a surge of energy, still in her skin, and she forced it down. She didn’t know why she did that - there was a sense of… fear?

She groaned and closed her eyes, her thoughts were so muddled. Her aches and pains had aches and pains, she felt like there was something inside her skin that shouldn’t be there, something was wrong but she couldn’t figure out what, and, damn it, why was everything still so blurry?

“I don’t need my powers to beat you into a pulp,” Danny growled, placing himself between Jazz and Skulker. Wait, that’s wrong, isn’t she supposed to protect him? She’s the older sister! She began to protest when a white flash around Danny’s legs interrupted her. She stared at his legs in confusion, realizing he was now in jeans instead of the black jumpsuit he’d had on. How’d he change so fast? Why was he in that ridiculous jumpsuit anyway?

“Let’s find out if that’s true, then.” Skulker said with a smirk, raising his arm and aiming at Danny’s chest, numerous weapons erupting from the suit. She heard them whir right before they fired.

“No!” Jazz yelled, rushing forward and pushing Danny to the ground, bracing to take the blasts, that she had no doubt would be fatal to her, might even still kill Danny, too. The power within her screamed, begging her to let it out. She gave in, disregarding the fear, not knowing what would happen. Warmth rushed down her entire body and fabric suddenly covered every inch of her. She heard the shots explode, but she was uninjured?

Jazz looked up, seeing the world was slightly tinted around her. At first she thought it was because of the mask she now wore - how had that happened? - but realized that wasn’t it. A sheer, purple bubble wrapped about the two of them, Skulker beyond it.

“Jazz?” Danny whispered beneath her, terror lacing his words.

Right! Ghost! He was scared of the ghost! Why else would he be scared?

She stood up slowly, still slightly wobbly, her entire body aching. Whatever power she’d summoned seemed to be soothing the injuries to a manageable level, at least. Or she was in shock.

…She hoped it was the magical healing suit option and not shock.

The shield wobbled as she did, lasting just another moment before evaporating. Mirroring Danny’s earlier actions, she planted herself firmly between him and the ghost.

“Trapper,” Skulker growled, disdain twisting his features before being replaced by humor. “Of course you’re the Violet Trapper.” Skulker tilted his head to the side, trying to talk past her, to Danny. “There is not a single person in your family who doesn’t hate the ghost child, is there?”

“Leave my brother alone,” Jazz said, finally giving herself over entirely to instinct, not trying to think about what she was doing or how she was doing it. Her body knew which way it wanted to move - she just had to let it.

She held her arms out to either side and shuddered as heat rushed down them. She closed her hands around the knife and gun as they formed. She didn’t study the small, pistol-like weapon that formed - she knew where the trigger was, even if she wasn’t sure how she knew.

Jazz fired and the fight was on. Somehow, she quickly gained the upper hand and she managed to get into close combat. She realized hand-to-hand (or knife-to-suit, at times) was where she excelled. She fought through the pain, through the confusion, through the muddled thoughts.

Skulker’s hand came flying towards her face and she turned, trying to duck around him, realizing too late she’d fallen for a ploy. His other hand, clenched into a fist, met her face with a crunch and was thrown backwards again. She was back on her feet before she registered the pain.

“Maybe I should take your pelt, too,” Skulker mused, stalking towards her. “A matching set can be just as valuable as a one of a kind trophy. I think I’ll - No!” His words were cut off as his form began to shudder, dissolving into a swirling blue light that had appeared.

She watched in fascination as he disappeared into a device in Danny’s hand, cursing and protesting the whole time, until Danny slapped a lid onto the… was that a thermos?

“Oh thank God, you’re alright!” She hurried forward, arms thrown out as she tried to hug her brother.

He flinched and evaded her hug. He remained just out of arm's reach, his face blank. “You. It’s you.”

Oh, had he not realized she had transformed or whatever it was she did? She concentrated on pulling the mask back and grinned when she felt it disappear. “It’s me!” She said, frowning when she felt a metallic taste in her mouth. She lifted her hand - still holding the knife - and wiped her mouth against the back of it. “Oh, ew,” she grumbled at the streak of red that stood out starkly from the purple of her glove.

“You’re the Violet Trapper. It’s you,” he repeated, voice breaking as tears began to fall from his eyes.

“Is that what this suit is? I can’t… my head…” Jazz closed her eyes, the throbbing in her head (and the rest of her body) beginning to climb as the adrenaline faded.

“Do you remember how to fly?”

She blinked at him a few times. She was human - humans can’t fly! She nearly said as much, but that same instinct she’d fought with held her tongue.

Fly.

It felt silly, ordering her body to do something impossible. She knew it would obey, though. A hoverboard appeared below her feet, lifting her several inches from the ground.

“I think so,” she said, adjusting her feet until the balance felt better. Danny cautiously moved closer. Jazz offered her hand to help him up but he just flinched again. She let her hand drop, the ache in her chest having nothing to do with physical injury. Why was he acting like this around her? She loved him, didn’t he know that? He did finally step up, though he went behind her.

She adjusted her feet again but the motion made her dizzy and she pitched forward slightly, sudden motion sickness bringing nausea with it. Danny’s cold arms wrapped around her waist - since when was he taller than her? - and held her steady.

“Fly us to the Ops Center. Pass out after. It helps to focus on the task, push the pain and exhaustion down even though it’s all you can feel right now. Just focus on getting to the next step and knowing rest will be there after,” Danny explained.

“You sound like you’re speaking from experience,” she mumbled, though she obeyed. Danny helped her navigate, she couldn’t look down. She’d never been one for vertigo, why was she now?

Oh, wait. That hadn’t been red paint on the back of her head, had it?

They flew into the open window and Danny pointed at a weapon on a table. “I think that’s it. Set us down next to it.”

Jazz managed to sit them down next to the device, though she quickly found herself on her knees, clutching her stomach as she dry heaved, pain like a knife in her head.

“Jazz? Jazz!”

She looked up, coming face to face with Danny. Worry burned on his face and in his eyes- she got the feeling he’d been calling her name for several seconds before she heard it.

“I’ve got the weapon set to reverse what it did and get us back to normal size, okay? I need you to press a button. I’ll help you as soon as I’m big, okay? We just can’t risk you passing out if we use it on you first. Can you do this for me?”

The words didn’t make a lot of sense but she understood ‘push a button.’ She held her arm up, still clad in the purple suit, and Danny helped her to her feet after a moment’s hesitation.

“C’mon, the adrenaline fade is causing you to crash and feel that head wound. Stay with me, Jazz. Stay with me.” A voice said at her side. Who…? Oh yeah, Danny! And Danny was… someone important.

A whimper escaped her as she tried to think, which only made her head hurt more.

“I’ve got you, Jazz. You’re okay. Damn it, she’s crashing hard.” The last sentence was mumbled and she barely heard it. Jazz. She was Jazz, right? He wrapped an arm around her waist and propped her against his side. She leaned her entire weight against him. She was struggling to remember him - and herself - but he was safe. She couldn’t remember his name right now, but she knew his presence meant she was safe.

He stopped in front of… something. A wall, maybe? He helped her lean against it, making sure her legs didn’t collapse beneath her. “Okay, I’m going to stand over there. When I say so, push the button, okay?”

“‘Kay,” she mumbled, struggling to hold on to his words. Push button. Wait for him, then push button. Button. Button. Button.

“Now!”

Button! Right, button! She pressed as hard as she could on the button. She felt the click of the mechanism and was briefly aware of a flash of light, but froze when she saw her brother, now a giant.

Now with black hair.

Memories rushed back and darkness consumed her, even as she saw that same flash of light heading for her.

#grace writes #danny phantom #danny fenton #jazz fenton

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay-adjacent Visuals: Jack's Lament

Can you feel me practically vibrating out of my skin???

On one hand, I'm a little sad because this is the last video I'll probably be making a post about for a while (though by the time you see this, Geoff might have uploaded a new video that I can actually talk about the visuals for (EDIT from future me: he did!), and if so, you'll be seeing a post for that one tomorrow), but on the other hand, this is my third (though in no particular order/ranking) favourite Geoff video on his channel so far, and I am so excited to finally be able to make a post for it!

Geoff's cover of Jack's Lament debuted on the 8th of October, 2023, though I didn't see it pop up in my YouTube recommended until the 29th (if you remember from my Hellfire post, I wasn't initially subscribed to Geoff or Voiceplay, and both channels somehow ended up dropping off my radar for a while. Jack's Lament was the first from either channel that I had seen in at least a year, and as soon as I saw that thumbnail, I knew it was going to be amazing, but oh my GOD it was even better (and with me stumbling upon Hellfire the very next day, well let's just say I was pulled even deeper down the Geoff/Voiceplay rabbithole than I had been the first time around 😅).

Anyway, I'm not sure if I'll hit image limit on this one, or how much actual commentary I may have, but regardless, let's freaking go!

One hell of an opening shot, not gonna lie. Geoff's very-skeletal-looking hands playing the piano (in a beautiful way, might I add), immediately sets a very spooky/eerie vibe!

And this is one hell of an establishing shot! I mean goddamn there is a lot to take in here! Though one thing I will point out (that I actually only just noticed myself ^^;) is the Haunted Mansion headstone on the left, memorialising Madame Leota!

(Also shoutout to Pattycake Production Studios where this was filmed!)

I of course have to give a MASSIVE shoutout and kudos to Rick Underwood for the makeup job in this one, like holy christ he really outdid himself here! (and I can't thank him enough)

Ngl, if I don't come up with any other ideas between now and October, then I kinda wanna dress as "Jack Skellington Geoff" (Geoff Caskellington? 🤔), makeup and all (or just attempt the face makeup at least)

And seriously take a look at his hands! If it weren't for the super-high-definition closeup of his hands on the piano at the start, you'd be forgiven for thinking those are just really well-fitting gloves, but nope! An amazing airbrush job from Mr Underwood!

Also, if you look at his neck and chest in both this image and the previous one, you'll notice that he's got airbrushing going on there too, highlighting (or more accurately, shading) his ribs and other bones!

Finally, on the subject of the body paint job, if you've been paying attention to some of my other Geoff posts (and some of my Voiceplay posts), you might notice what's missing...

No necklace, and no rings! Had to remove them for costume/makeup/character purposes, rip. Must have felt a bit weird without them, but all that paint must have felt weird too, so maybe the weird feelings cancelled each other out? 😅

(His acting in this is of course 10/10 👌)

This video is one that I do actually know involved Geoff deliberately colouring his hair to make it grey, and it still looks as lovely as ever!

(Also this picture is a better one to check out the airbrushed detailing on his chest! (if you're gonna leave a couple of shirt buttons undone and your chest exposed, might as well take advantage of it! 😁))

The "moon" in this video is apparently just some big spotlight with a moon cover on it or something? Apparently you can fairly easily find them online or something, and you can in fact see the pole it's attached to underneath in this image here, but you likely wouldn't notice the pole if you weren't looking for it, and the usage of the moon is 100% perfect! (I've seen/heard one or two people wishing the moon was yellow like in the movie, but eh, it probably wouldn't have fitted the overall colour scheme of the video as much)

I had to include the "jumpscare" of course I had to! 😁

Also I can't get any good screencaps of it, but the way Geoff shifts from sombre on "a longing that I've never known," to more theatric/dramatic on "I'm a master of fright, and a demon of light" is so good, and the acting/choreography is absolute chefs kiss

"Bonjour!"

(For those of you not familiar with the original, the line "and I'm know throughout England and France" is part of the original song, but the "bonjour!" bit is not 😆)

A Geoff head not connected to the body! It's happened again! 😂

Also it's cool the way Geoff is quickly jumping/flashing from one point to another, reminds me of his Headless Horseman video

"No animal, nor man, can SCREAM like I can!"

What can I say, it's a very cool effect! Really ups the "oomph" factor of the little belt moment!

Tiny pumpkins/jack-o-lanterns in his eyes!!

"But who here, would ever understand..."

(I'm not even at half the maximum image limit yet, so I'm 100% just throwing in an extra screencap (or two) just because 😁)

Geoff pats the side of his leg to call for Zero the ghost dog, just in in the scene in the movie! (Also shoutout to Kathy, who I believe helped with puppeteering for this bit?)

"...that the pumpkin king, with the skeleton grin,"

(Freaking obsessed with this video, I tell ya!)

"The fame and praise, come year after year, does nothing for these empty tears"

This is the last shot before we see the gramophone logo (a very gorgeous shot btw), but there's a little bit of a bonus bit for those who stick around for the Patron credits!!

It starts to snow! Like at the end of the movie! It's a sign of hope and good things to come! <3

The original song is good for the movie, sure, but Geoff's cover feels like it has so much more depth (in more ways than one!) and emotion! And his vocal range is ugh god absolutely stunning and mindblowing! I cannot get enough, can never get enough!

But anyway, I hope you've been enjoying my Voiceplay/Voiceplay-adjacent posts! If there are any videos I've skipped over that you actually would like me to make a post on, please let me know! (And don't worry, I am planning to do all the 2017-onwards Christmas videos for both channels eventually - maybe as a Christmas In July thing?) I'm typing this on the 22nd of February, and if Voiceplay uploads a video in March that I wanna make a post on (nope), well you reading this will have already seen that post, and if Geoff uploads something in March that I wanna talk about (he did), then you'll see that post tomorrow (you will!). But otherwise, thanks for reading!

#geoff castellucci #jack's lament #jacks lament #acaplaya analysis #voiceplay-adjacent visuals

[hel-phoenyx]

Desire, Nru, Universe and Kal @corneille-but-not-the-author 's characters

She's a weird little lady, that one. All in pink and skin subtly revealed, her tiny stature barely reaching my neck, she's looking at me with the interested eyes of a predator that just found his prey.

I don't like those eyes, but they're giving me a damn good hint on her nature. Usually people take me for the predator. Especially right now, with both magic and anger seeping through every hole in my body.

People that can die never consider me their prey, nor their inferior.

It's a goddess. I can hardly guess her nature nor her motive, but I suppose it will be revealed soon enough.

I squint my eyes, look towards her, take advantage of our height difference to try and assert dominance.

She doesn't even flinch.

"Alright. What the fuck am I doing here? And adding to that, WHERE is "here"."

A smile rips through her lips.

"Do you mind not screaming? I have sensitive ears."

Well talk about a first impression. I roll my eyes, crossing my arms on my chest. I'm not even screaming, godsdamnit, I just have a very strong voice. The kind that beams through battlefields.

"Just fucking answer that question."

She laughs, hand in front of her face, her smile still not disappearing.

"What a filthy mouth you have there, Mairù Claro. Did you ever teach yourself politeness?"

"Abyss nope, and certainly not toward goddesses. Can I have a fucking answer now?"

Her eyes gleam with victory.

"They weren't lying, you are a smart one."

Her arms held behind her, she salutes me with a reverence people reserve for their equals.

"I am Desire of Lazzaro, current Queen of Lazzarian principality. And coincidentally, that's where you are. Happy coincidences, ain't it?"

"Principalities are ruled by queens now?"

"Let's just say I had to.... Reinstate old titles."

Not reassuring. And the fact I don't even know that country is not helping. Is it a part of the Paper continent? I thought we were good with Faloi. And worst of all, her tone when she's telling me that is somehow heavier than it needs to be. What old titles? Fuck is happening here?

Like I'd know. I only just got back from a several year long exile, just in time to witness the most disgustingly bucolic scene my eyes have ever seen. Anger fills my heart at the thought, and I restrain a hiss with all my willpower; sadly, it didn't get past her.

"As for what you're doing here... I think you have some sort of idea. Kal'Dithryon was about to kill you. I couldn't let that happen."

Right. I remember now. I was right in the middle of something important and my asshole of a former boss kinda threw some creationnist spells at me. Apparently he's now keen on starting duels on royal grounds, that's damn interesting. Oh how I wanted so badly to thrust a tentacle or two into his sorry ass. Or bones. Whatever.

But killing the queen's new counselor would have earned me the death penalty for sure, and that is in admittance I'd have won. Kal is far from a newbie in magic, and we play on the same field. A duel would make my victory more uncertain than you'd think.

That still doesn't answer my question.

"And you wanted me alive for what?"

Because I'm not stupid, people and especially gods don't save lives with no hidden intentions. There has to be something.

Desire is still smiling, albeit a bit more... Hungrily.

"You are indeed a smart one. I didn't save you from the goodness of my heart, despite how cute you are..."

I grumble at the use of the word I stopped believing a long time ago but she carries on, unfazed.

"... I just need you for several things. First one is easy, just be a mole for me. Spy on your queen, bring me intel, I don't ask for much, I know you're not the Mandate's favorite person..."

She winks, and I shiver. I'm not used to feel terror, but that little woman is making me feel really uneasy.

"The second thing is more important. When the moment comes, and you will recognize it, I'll need you by my side. Sadly I can't say much, a law of the cosmic kind is stopping me, but I will tell you as much as I can, in due time."

Not sure I'll believe it, but eh, loyalty to a kingdom's never been my forte. And I have a... Certain resentment towards the Mandate. So betrayal is not something unforgivable, if only...

"Sounds like you wanna make me your little pocket dog until then, sweetie. And I'm not keen on being kept on a leash."

"Pleaaaase.... I only give leashes to consenting partners, and I wouldn't dare force one on you."

I smile. Magic crepitates between my teeth, ready to strike.

"Cool. Wouldn't want you to discover what it exactly feels like to have a goddess put down."

"Sweettalker. Don't worry, I will not only give you your life in exchange. What about a little deal?"

Deal? She speaks more of my language. I did not usually receive deals in my life. Either I take what I want, or people take what they want from me. Come to think of it, the last person I made a deal with is Kal.

The expression on her face tells me there are things I'd better leave uncovered, but for now, I decide to dare the devil and keep looking that girl in the eyes.

She's still smiling.

"A deal, huh. Like what?"

"Well I am goddess of Desire. As such, of course I know what is the Desire of your heart..."

"Is that supposed to be a pun? Spare me that, please," I grunt, "and get to the point."

"You're a fun breaker. What if I serve you your beloved on a plate, with the deaths of Kal'Dithryon, and Kage and Nru Frosilæn as a bonus? Would that be of interest?"

Well that's getting to the point. I let myself smile, pushing away the very tempting idea; Deals with that kind of entity are often more binding that they appear to be and I don't want to give myself a reason to fight a goddess yet.

"And how would you do that in a way I can't?"

Again she winks. Abyss, she's creeping me out. My body's not supposed to react like that to anyone. I am not supposed to feel fear. Where did all those years of conditioning go?

"Stealthily for starters. No offense to you but you're not exactly sleek in what you want. And how do you think Asura would react if you killed her wife in such an obvious way?"

Good point.

I always was a fast thinker, but now I don't even take the time to reflect before extending my hand.

"Deal. But you let me take care of Kal. Old resentments."

And I'd rather be the one who ends his life. Letting him die without having my part in it would be... Dissatisfying.

She takes my hand and smiles even wider.

"Deal. I'm sure we'll get along smoothly."

I never less believed a lie.

****

She's squirming on the floor of my laboratory, hands and feet tied, a look of pure hatred and terror on her face. But I ignore her easily enough. I have waited enough to see Nru Frosilaen at my mercy for being afraid now.

Why would I be anyway ? All daughter of Death she is, I am a better fighter than her and she knows it. I won't hesitate to kill her and the split second she would take to try and kill me would be far, far more than enough.

Desire is smiling, towering over Nru with a foot on her back. She doesn't even pay attention to the first daughter of the Frosilaen trying so desperately to escape.

"And there she is, the girl in the flesh ! Or bones, I don't know. Daughters of death have a tendency to become lichs. Have I ever told you about the Collector-"

"I don't want to hear a history lesson, sweetheart, I have things to do."

Desire winks at me.

"And an owl to pluck, of course of course! I wouldn't want to slow you down... But no offense to you, it's hard to believe you're motivated if you keep calling me petnames, Mairù, my dear. I'm gonna start to believe I did everything for naught..."

Really ? Goddesses and their tendency to joke around, really I'd never understand that species.

"Don't take this personally, everyone get petnames. They just get meaner if you're being a bitch and I'm seriously considering it."

"Aw, and here I thought we had something special. But what are you gonna do with the owl ?"

I lower my eyes towards said owl, even if she's currently in her human form, disgustingly human features and damning jet black hair that looks so much like Lina's. But while I adored her hair, that feature on Nru only inspires me with sheer hatred.

How dare you look so much like her and take everything when your sister gave me all ?

I'll make you pay. For taking my place, tossing me aside a time too much, and continuing to look at me with those eyes full of fear even after all those months.

I'm sick of people looking at me like a monster. So if they're not gonna change their minds about me, at least I'll give them the show they'll expect.

"None of your business."

"Thought as much. Too bad, I wanted to see that hatred of her face become fear. That would have been simply delicious."

"Whoa there! I'm a monster, not a torturer. I'll be quick, that's all you need to know."

Nru is still squirming, putting in question my resolution to act quickly. If not painlessly. Well, I didn't intend to give her a painless death anyway. I'm not good at that and certainly don't wanna learn.

"What do you have against Nru anyway ?"

Desire shrugs.

"Nothing in particular, but Death and I have history of some sorts. And, well, I do enjoy thorns in my side being pulled off. A daughter of death is a real danger for my current plans."

"Fair enough. Can you go now so I can get down to business ?"

She smiles again, and for a split second I feel my nerves straighten.

"Of course. Good evisceration, dear."

****

I don't remember anything before the point I woke up in the remains of my former confrery building, destroyed Gods know how. But one thing for sure, my body remember that woman.

Not in a weird way. more like in a "I'm not supposed to feel frightened" way. The way people that can kill me are making me feel like.

Fear is not in the natural order of things. I was always more powerful than other people around me. Only exception being Kal. And now, that woman.

And since people can't all be creationnist magicians reputed to be messiahs of a god nobody believes in anymore, I take it this one is a goddess.

She is waiting from me in what looks like a used torture room. Standing on a chair covered in blood, holding a wedding ring in her finger.

"Rings are powerful tools of love, are they not ? This one was made in honor of the love between queen Frosilaen's predecessors. A beauty of a couple, and people killed too soon. But you don't remember that, don't you ?"

I roll my eyes.

"I certainly remember not liking people that talk in riddles."

A laugh escapes from her throat, and she jumps from the chair with a huge, happy smile, taking my hand to guide me towards the inside of the torture room. I don't like that, blood is making me uneasy, tugging at the strings of my broken brain like something I should, or shouldn't, remember.

"Still the same as ever, Mairù ! I'm glad memory loss didn't take that from you."

"You know about my memory loss ?"

She climbs the chair, up now at my eye level.

"Of course I know. How could you forget about me, you... Oh wait, of course you did, since someone took your memories! Silly me!"

Again I hear her laugh, but far, far away in my head where other words she made sound so trivial resonate so harshly.

Took my memories.

So my memory loss WAS artificial.

I don't know many mages able to erase a memory entirely. It could be Kage, with a powerful space-time spell, I know those people mastered that fucking craft. Or Kal. Kal, who described himself as my friend, an old friend, of course he would hide from me that someone took my memory.

And why the actual fuck did people tamper with my brain, godsdamnit ? Can't a guy have autonomy around here ? It's disturbing enough to see people looking at you weird without knowing why !

Something is boiling in me.

I think it's anger.

I hope it's anger.

"... Memories taken away, huh."

"Yeaaaaah. And you didn't even reach the goal I promised you, I feel so guilty for that failure ! And here I thought everything was perfect..."

Her words once again call for an echo in my mind. A goal. I had a goal. Something I desired more than anything in the world...

I remember now.

She's Desire. Goddess of Desire.

And this is definitely not our first meeting.

Probably seeing the light of comprehension in my face, Desire smiles almost wickedly. For a split second, I feel a shiver run down what's left of my spine. That girl could gobble me up so easily. Just a split second...

I shake my head. No time for fear, I may be in front of one of the biggest opportunities in my dump of a life.

"And I guess you can do something about that, sweetheart ?"

She laughs again.

"Oh dear, I haven't heard petnames in so long! And I can do anything people Desire enough..."

"I almost wanted to forget your tendency to do puns around your name."

"You wound me. Do you want your memories back or not ?"

I don't hesitate. Never intended to.

"Yes."

Her eyes burn with a newfound victory.

"Come a bit closer."

Her tone is far more commending than it was before. I'm not one to follow orders, but to my biggest shame I am not in any way able to disobey, and I walk the two, three steps that separate me from the chair she's standing on. From where I am, she's now higher than eye level, and that's highly disturbing : But I don't move, and wait for the next seconds to pass.

She takes my head between her hands. Her eyes didn't leave my face.

"Look at me."

My eyes are riveted on her. I couldn't look away even if I wanted to. Even if all my nerves are screaming to run away, run away before she bites my head off, before that face that is very much too close reaches her goal-

Her voice holds me in place, almost too sultry.

"You don't mind me, do you ? I'll need a bit of... Closure to achieve my goal."

I feel something on my mouth, hot and soft, right after I had the time to nod, and my mind blanks on the only thought that can reach through my brain at the moment.

Did she just give me tongue that little-

I can't finish that sentence. Because at the exact moment her tongue brushes mine something explodes in my brain and it's now only flashes and flashes of pain and screaming.

I see that face I now remember I loathed bringing me to the training grounds. I can feel the spells, my body changing, morphing, despite all my attempts to block it, I feel the magic pulsing in my veins, destroying what's left of the fight. I feel all that magic getting out, hitting the innocent face of a five-year-old I never wanted to hurt. I feel the looks on my face, so full of fear and disgust, so little people wanting to be near me. I feel her kisses and I hear her laugh, right before in my head resonates a "we can't continue like this."

And in the middle of that maelstrom of pain, I see her. Red-headed, beautifully authoritarian, holding my neck like I was naught but a naughty cat in need of a little scolding. I see her in my laboratory while we're sharing a laugh on a reagent that exploded while I didn't want it to, and my face is now covered in bubbles. I see her looking towards me while I explain exactly what pain I'm feeling, those looks I hoped to be understanding but discovered to be longing far too late, and when I realized it, how I wanted so badly to give her back those looks.

I remember the training, even harsher than the first one but this time of my own volition. I remember wanting so hard to become useful to her, to be a man nobody could fear anymore, that she would be proud to love. How I wanted so badly to come back to her and say sorry for everything I failed her for.

I remember coming home far too late.

I remember the black-haired bitch.

I remember the blood on my eyes.

I remember my most precious friend taking my face into his hands.

I remember everything.

The hands around my cheeks are not Kal's. They're Desire, who's stroking my head with an almost worried expression.

It hurts.

It hurts so much.

Please make the pain stop.

Please.

Anything.

Anyone...

"Shhhhht. It's okay. Take your time."

The first voice I hear isn't the one I desire the most. It's the one of the goddess that incarnates that desire. She's not here. Of course she's not here. She is in her arms, frolicking, doing gods know what, casting me aside like I was nothing but a fleeting comfort.

Again I am nothing but a fling.

There is only me and Desire in that room.

Whatever that means.

I rip myself off her hands, and lean on the nearest wall, trying to stabilize my breath. I didn't even notice I was breathing like a rabid dog. Godsdamnit, should it always hurt so bad to recover memories ?

Well, considering the nature of the memories, I guess that couldn't be avoided.

It takes a little while to finally regain control of my brain, but when it is finally clearer, Desire is still sitting on the chair, a huge ass smile on her lips. She looks almost too happy.

"Well ? What do we say to our favorite goddess ?"

I laugh almost sincerely.

"Thank you, Desire."

"Good boy. Now what do you intend to do ?"

Thinking doesn't take me long, as usual. I am currently under the biggest cover I can have, and not a lot of people can realize I recovered my memory. Either Kage, but Kage's never here, or Kal. But I know several ways to shut Kal up.

Best take advantage of it.

"Keep a low profile, of course! I am currently innocent like the newborn lamb for them, and I contribute to society! Why would I ruin that?"

"As always, you always choose the smartest move, my dear!"

It's not the most enjoyable one, but well, I know it will pay.

I don't mind playing the long game.

****

It's been a long time since my fucking trial, and Lina's coronation. Twenty years, if I recall. It's a lot, but for Travellers it goes like a second. Especially when you're at the head of a kingdom that needs rebuilding to the core.

Not like I care anyway. But contrary to Lina, who still looks as young as ever while having reached her forties, I feel my end approaching very, very quickly. I'm already at the high average of my species' life expectancy. I don't have much time to spare.

So I'm waiting for the right moment quite expectantly. Even more since Asura married. The pain I felt that day almost broke my vow of laying low, but I held my grounds. In a big part thanks to Desire and the tiny little button-like device now at the back of my head, that strangely helped regulate my emotions easier than I ever did myself.

She promised me only ten years of waiting. We're close to the deadline, and I still haven't heard a peep of that great project, besides the occasional mind conversation. We had a lot of things to do in ten years. For starters, I finally found something about Aelie's disease. I think I can create a vaccine, but I'm not quite sure. The virus is almost godlike, and gods don't like me meddling in their business.

Except Desire, apparently.

Since she's now sat on my fucking chair.

I should be happy to see her, really, I should. But the only thing I can think of is what the fuck girl I litteraly just woke up ???

"Wha- The hell are you doing in my room ???"

She lifts her head from the book she was reading, my research about the vaccine it seems.

"Oh hey Mairù ! Well, I'm trying to understand what you wrote there, but sadly I am no scientist."

"That- That wasn't my fucking question ?"

I say while realising in a split second that like the usual I'm fucking naked. Because of course I sleep naked, clothes are giving me a sensory nightmare. And I usually don't mind it except right now there's a fucking girl in my fucking room and she's the fucking goddess of fucking desire !

"fucking" being the appropriate word considering the look she just gave me. I'm under the feeling she just saw a very yummy plate of ribs that looks a little too eatable to my tastes. Intrigue the First, are goddesses always that horny ???

I blush, and pull back my covers on my chest. Not right now, not for you, and no don't smile more it's only creeping me out!

"Shy, are we ?"

"Can't a man have a right to damn privacy ? Let me put something on, at least, Intrigue the first be sent to Abyss!"

"Of course, of course, go ahead!"

And she

She doesn't move an inch.

Obviously.

I roll my eyes again, trying to not use a flashbang to get my damn privacy. Because that would be hostile, and plus, I'm not sure it works on gods.

"Desire, sweetheart, I meant LOOK SOMEWHERE ELSE !!!"

I can't miss her look of disappointment.

"Ohhh, right. Tell me when you're ready, would you ?"

Finally she turns around. I leap out of my bed, keeping my eyes on her, and hurriedly put on underwear and something to become at least a little more decent. Finally, when I've got my blouse on me, I signal Desire I'm now dressed, and she turns around a bit fast for my tastes.

"There you go! Now I can finally give you things to do!"

"Bossing me around, huh ? Never been a fan of that, hon."

"I would never. Except in bed."

My blasé look is, I think, enough of an answer. She laughs a little bit, before standing up.

"But more seriously the plan is almost in place. I just need some elements to make it more believable. Would you be willing to help me ?"

"Depends. On what?"

"Oh, nothing much. Now that I have my best mole implanted on the field, I need him in action. Soon enough a very special event will take place. I need someone that will blow the alarm whistle on it, and it needs to be from the Divine Mandate. Otherwise, they won't be able to participate."

I raise my eyebrow in surprise.

"And you can't tell them ?"

"Nope ! Cosmic law, remember ? It needs to be a Mandatian that discovers the info on their own terms for it to be broken."

Of course it always needs to be convoluted. But I know cosmic bindings quite well. I have studied the case of the Enlightened One in much of my free time because Asura loved that part of history. So I am familiar with promises that bind you by the very law of the universe.

"I see, I see. And you can't drop the documents I'm certainly gonna need on anyone, of course."

"Well, I could, but there is a slight chance it won't work. Nru tried to spill the beans earlier in history but almost died, you know ? She is from Ink, maybe it played a role."

"Not like it would have bothered me."

Desire has a small laugh.

"Of course. Point is, I'm putting every last chance on my side. Your species is Mandatian to the core, you know ? Your kind is only born in that territory, and we never could figure out why. If there is someone that can break that cosmic binding, it's you."

And then again with being a prophet... Well, can't say I'm not used to it. And at least it would be useful for my very own personal goal.

"All right. Where do I need to go to find the precious information I'm supposed to break a cosmic binding around ?"

Desire smiles brightly and jumps towards me.

"Perfect ! Nothing far, don't worry, only in Love's cathedral."

"In where now ?"

My face must be very funny because Desire bursts into laughing almost immediately.

"Don't look so surprised ! Adam kept quite a lot of documents during his reign, on all of the kingdoms including yours. Love's cathedral is the best place to start genuine research."

"Okay, fair enough, but Love's cathedral is where, sweetie ? In PAPER CONTINENT. You think I'm allowed to go there alone ???"

My concerns are brushed aside in a movement of the hand and a shrug.

"Just find someone to accompany you, pretend a breakthrough for the vaccine, there's many pretexts ! It will be even more impactful that way !"

If you say so. I suppose it will be better than to stay in that unbearable status quo. And I'll finally get to see that infamous Love cathedral where lied the first Frosilaen brother.

****

I’m back from Paper continent with a shitload of new intel and even more questions, starting with those three countries I finally remember, or discovered, the existence of. Now I know what Principality of Lazzaro is referencing, and it doesn’t exactly please me. A cosmic binding can’t be enough to hide both three countries and a giant fuckass tournament to decide which one is governing the other.

Worst, in my opinion, is that Lazzaro won the last one. But the Mandate is still autonomous and going strong. So what the fuck happened ?

I’m sat in my room after giving the news, and watching Lina’s face shrivel in terror. I think there are other implications to this tournament I don’t follow. She already asked me to participate. How funny it is that she needs me exactly when the country is in dire need of power.

And not at any other moment.

Oh, the irony. Did she ever see me as something else than a tool to satisfy her needs ?

Did everyone ever that was in love saw the other as something other than the satisfaction of their needs anyway ?

My visit to Love’s cathedral convinced me otherwise. Love there was only people kissing, noises of face meeting and absolutely no conversation. I’m starting to believe these people speak another language that needs their tongues joined together, and I am definitely not fluent. I would accuse Adam of twisting the meaning of Love, but even his death didn’t change anything.

Being the son of Love, Adam must have known what she wanted. What the word meant.

And if it’s only that… Have I ever been in love ?

A cough is heard right behind me. Desire, popping in my room for the second time in a week. This time, fortunately, I am not naked.

“Congrats for completing the task. And now that you know what I meant by “being by my side”...”

“You want me to participate in the tournament.”

I cut her in the middle of her sentence, but she doesn’t look too outraged. Only nods, eyes still riveted on me.

“Exactly. Sorry for having to be clear now about what our agreement was, but cosmic bindings make so. I mean, I would like to participate, but sovereigns are not allowed to, and that means giving up the crown, even only for a moment…”

“Eh, I’m better at fighting than ruling or naming over successors.”

“You were once Thaumargeikhon for the Heirs, tho.”

“Don’t remind me.”

Dark period of my life. Even though Kal had to twist a little the true meaning of that ancestral place at the Heir government, I never loathed more my place in politics. And I was only here to snarl at those corrupted fuckers wanting to be no better than the one genociding them. And I meant the term. Racism goes both ways even when there is one part of the people that is systematically discriminated against.

Desire doesn’t push the subject. She just shrugs.

“Fine, as you wish. I’m also gonna need to recruit Kage and Kal, since they’re not out of my hair.”

“Why them ? I am enough of a powerhouse already.”

She smiles, sitting on my bed. Great, now I can’t go lie down, it’ll just be weird.

“You are. But if they’re not with us, they’re against us. Lina will recruit them to her team, especially if you’re not there, and you and Kal are of equal strength. I can’t afford uncertainty. I need to win.”

 “Why ?”

“For the exact reason it will be easy to convince Kage and Kal.”

She shuts up. Probably not wanting to say more. But there is something in her voice, something that tells me that the matter is all more personal than simply taking over a kingdom and reclaiming a victory the Mandate did not accept.

I would have pushed the subject, in another time. Or maybe just asked more questions. But my mind is occupied enough as it is.

Probably she noticed my silence, since she turned her head towards me.

“Something on your mind ?”

“A lot of things, really. I’m still thinking about Love’s cathedral. You’re really hated there, by the way.”

Desire sneers.

“Of course. They think love and desire don’t meddle easily, only create suffering. For them, love should only be submission. I find that completely stupid.”

“Heh. And here I thought you would tell me something about how love and sex are intertwined.”

I didn’t intend to do anything about that sour look on her face, only tease a little about all those times people told me to love someone, you must fuck them. Including some of the idiots in Love’s cathedral thinking sex is something you give, something you endure out of love. I always thought it was stupid, because then I’d never have been in love; but who would be listened to between the Love priest and the monster people love to hate ?

But to my surprise, she bursts out laughing, all traces of sourness gone from her face.

“Echiapolis, no! I’m not that stupid and especially not that inconstant. Sex is a matter of desire for pleasure, yours or the other’s, it has nothing to do with love. Can be linked, yes, but ain’t everything ?”

She lays down on my bed -great, there goes my nap- and sighs heavily.

“You know, sometimes I think I should have been one of the first goddesses. Because Desire, for everything, is what drives life forward. I have power some of those idiot Twelve can’t even imagine, including Love herself. But law says I am only a minor god with no counterpart, because Creator or whatever knows why. And Love is taken for everything I am while reducing what she is so, so much.”

“And what is love, then, if not what I saw at the cathedral ?”

Another sigh.

“You’re asking me a difficult question.”

“Who is the older-than-thou goddess that just told me Love isn’t what she appears to be ?”

She laughs, and pokes my non-existent ribs with a teasing smile.

“Smartass.”

“Should have thought of that before making a deal with me, sweetheart.”

Desire smirks and pinches the skin under what’s left of my torso.

“Oh, I’m more than happy to get the whole package, if you know what I mean.”

And if I had any doubts, the wink she just gave me is proof that yes, I know what she meant. Ew. Horny little shit. You’re not even sure I have something down there, for all you know magic could have destroyed that part of me. I did not check if it was still functional anyway, and I don’t see any future where it would be.

“You still didn’t answer my question.”

Apparently she didn’t expect me to come back to the subject, but she doesn’t have any ways to escape anymore. She sighs, and lay down again, looking at the ceiling with pensive eyes.

“Love is… Well, more than kissing, for starters. It’s the Desire to be close to someone, to hear their heart beat for you, to live for them. It’s shared interest or wanting to hear all about what they like, because it’s them and whatever they enjoy must be worth it. It’s wanting to stay with the person forever. It's so much more than just surrendering to someone.”

“You’re putting a lot of “want” in there.”

“Love is a bit selfish. It’s the selfishness to be selfless.”

“Wow. Deep,” I say with all the sarcasm I say. “You guys have something with a word and its opposite ?”

“Hey, you asked me to answer.”

“Fair.”

I think for a brief moment, before turning my head towards her.

“Have you ever been in love ?”

I probably shouldn’t have asked that question. Because her eyes are now lost behind a veil of mist, and the sadness in her expression is making me another kind of uneasy. I think it’s regret. Is it regret ?

Her face taints with every kind of sorrow.

“I have, yes.”

I stop pushing the subject.

***

My head hurts.

It hurts so much.

Why does it hurt that much ?

I should be happy.

Nru just died and it wasn’t my fault.

Yes, I did kill people during that tournament, but for her I stayed put. Like Desire told me to. and it paid. She's dead. Not by me.

I should be happy.

Why does it hurt ?

Was it Asura’s tears ? Everyone’s looks of sorrow ? Or my death approaching with the feeling I’ll never get those tears ?

I don’t know.

It hurts.

I have to fight Srodek tomorrow, and this time I don’t think I’ll be able to manage with the same bravado. Even though I swiped the Mandate’s team with ease, it took a big part of my energy and I had to get Kal to help me against Alba. Damn Byleth. Why did Desire expect me to fight an Aspect and win ? I barely obtained a victory and it was because he surrendered.

I feel so tired. My end is growing near. I could reach my forties but I know I won’t live past fifty. Every happiness I’ll obtain starting from now won’t last.

It hurts.

Desire is standing in front of a painting. Old, judging by the state of the paint. A woman is represented lying down on pillows, wearing a chiton whiter than snow. she would look perfectly normal if not for her skin, swirling and tracing a pattern of galaxy.

I don’t know who that woman is, but Desire looks at her with enough resentment for me to hate her.

I don’t know why.

“Mairù ?”

I sigh. Of course she would spot me. The amplification device tells her wherever I am, in whatever state. I didn’t expect her to worry about me.

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“Come closer.”

I obey, too tired to protest.

It hurts.

“How are you feeling ?”

I sigh.

“Bad.”

“Nru’s dead, tho. Shouldn’t that make you happy ?”

“I’m too close to death to be happy about anything right now.”

Something shifts in her expression, subtle, almost soft, before she finally stops looking at the painting to turn towards me.

“You won’t live that long, will you ?”

“Probably not. I’m already on borrowed time, and going full power for so long isn’t helping.”

“So any of the happiness I promised you wouldn’t last long anyway.”

“Afraid so. Hey, not your fault, alright ?” I smile, seeing some kind of shift in her face. “You upheld your part. The fact that I’m not eternal is my problem.”

It still hurts.

Desire bites her lower lip. Her eyes shift, from the painting to me to the painting again. One moment, I think she wants to say something, the other she just closes her eyes and steps a bit closer.

Her hands run over what’s left of the skin on my left arm.

“Nothing of this is fair.”

“Life ? Fair ? If it was, I wouldn’t be here with you, and I wouldn’t have any reason to accept your deal. Should be happy life fucked me over, sweetheart.”

Even the petname doesn’t make her laugh.

“I should not have to.”

It hurts a little less.

***

My brain is empty.

I do not know why I didn’t die.

I should have died.

I am close to death. And now the only thing keeping me alive threw my last chance of a fleeting happiness in the face.

Is it my fault ?

It’s probably my fault.

I don’t know what I’ve done. Only that it’s bad.

Only that Chiara is the only one who stopped in front of me.

“Desire seeks you,” she said. “You can still do something,” she said. But what ?

What good am I ?

Going on the battlefield at this time would kill me. My magic is too unstable, blood and death would be my end. At least I should time up that death to wipe out a maximum of enemies. But are they even my enemies ?

Some of them are the people Kal and I commanded. Heirs brainwashed by what took Love’s place to fight, to believe there is a future to that victory. But there won’t be a victory for anyone. Only for that eldritch beast that eats gods.

Is the something I can still do my death ?

Will I die as a tool after living as a monster ?

I can’t think.

I only walk, deep in the underground where Desire seeks me.

She’s there, protected by the H.A.R.D.I.. In front of her burns a purple flame, almost extinct, she’s looking at it with tired eyes.

She doesn’t even look my way.

“You’re here.”

The H.A.R.D.I. are looking at me with hateful eyes. Don’t know why. Too tired to care. I only know that now that I’m next to Desire, the pain is subsiding at least for a little while.

“Hey.”

“Guys, she ordered without even giving me an answer. Do me a favor and get out. I need pristine concentration.”

H.A.R.D.I. grunt like a sole man, but obey without any question. Ivan pushes me aside like I’m nothing but an obstacle in his way, without even sparing a look in my direction. I only roll my eyes. Whatever goes through those meatheads, I want nothing in it.

I sit down on the floor, waiting. What good can I still do, here, with a goddess and a weird flame ?

“Do you know what that is ?”

She asked, like she has nothing better to do. I squint my eyes.

“The Soul of all Souls, I recall. Artefact hidden in the chambers that helps give the royals their powers. What is responsible for Lina’s ability to cast powerful creationnist spells, and what’s left of the creationnist energy of the kingdom.”

“Yes… And no. Creation was consumed with the death of the royal lineage, who were also the last of their species, only maintained alive by that flame. With them gone, there is no one able to channel their power enough to keep creationnist energy like you knew it. This flame is not a remainder. It’s a catalyst.”

“Huh.”

There is something she’s not telling me, again, in her tone of voice. some sort of fear, some sort of longing. But I’m too tired to go deeper. I only want to sleep, sleep and hope I won’t wake up in this life.

Even though eternal punishment would be waiting for me at the end it would always be better than her eyes burning with hatred.

Desire is still standing in front of the flame.

“Do you know what I’m trying to do ?”

I shrug. Something that has to do with awakening a power bigger than the gods to end that fucking thing. And the war that is starting in the fields in front of Wake’li. A war I can’t partake in, because it would be too early for me to die that stupidly.

“Vaguely.”

“Do you think I can do it ?”

I roll my eyes.

“You’re asking a scientist to give a result on something that has never in all life been tested. Sure, I can think, but what good would it prove, anyway ?”

“I underestimated your pragmatism, it seems. You’re not keen on encouragement, are you?”

“Never has been, never will be. Did you ask for support or facts ?”

“Good point.”

She laughs a little bit, before looking again at the flame.

“Do you know what I’ll be able to do if I do it ?”

“Not quite. Kill that bastard of a giant critter over there ?”

“I mean, yeah, but not only.”

She is still back turned on me, still standing, still immobile. Her hand is, I notice it now, right in the middle of the flames. It doesn’t consume her, apparently, her skin and flesh stay pristine. But she doesn’t get her hand out.

“I will be able to wield a power big enough to mold the world like I want to. I could give you what you wanted for good. What would you wish for, if I could give you all ?”

That’s a difficult question. What would I wish for when every last one of my reasons to live disappeared with no chance of coming back ? I have only some days to live and even then, I wouldn’t have anything to live with. Anything to live for.

What then ? Do I ask for life and live the bland existence of the one that always will be alone ? Or worse, of the one you call only when you need him ? The one you run away from ? Or do I ask for death and leave behind me nothing but a meaningless existence ? What do I want from life that doesn’t need a sacrifice ?

My lack of answer is apparently not of Desire’s taste, because she grits her teeth.

“Her again ?”

A painful smile grows on my lips.

“What for ? She hates me, and loving me would take everything I cherished away from her. Even if you could grant me life, Desire, it would only be meaningless.”

“What, then ?”

“What could I wish for ? I had illusions all my life, but the truth is I led an existence as nothing more than a tool or a monster.”

And tools or monsters cant wish 

for 

anything at all.

Silence falls on the basement. The flame burns brighter. And for minutes I thought I won’t have any answers, before she turns around, and I see something I’d never thought I see in the corner of her eye.

“I do not see you as either a tool or a monster.”

And strangely I want to believe her.

Because in all the years I knew her and looked at her face never have I seen a single tear.

***

Universe is looking at what’s left of the Worm, godless and exploded out of creation leaving only behind dust and the traces of its existence. Everything is now over, and even though I hear faint crying on the battlefield, there is no sounds of battle.

We won.

And I’m still alive.

I spent three days in that room, slipping Desire some magic, helping her control hers. It helped me regain a bit of control over my brain, enough to not explode yet, but what really saved me is one single word out of the mouth of that strange goddess now possessing my… 

Huh. I don’t know what word to use. Partner in crime, perhaps ?

Anyway. The First God, or whatever she is, is still possessing her. I won’t say a word, because we kinda needed her to win at that point, but I really don’t like that situation. Is Desire going to stay like that forever ? I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all.

Lina, next to me, is grunting.

“Okay. Now that we got worm dust and an army running away from my castle, can someone explains to me what the fuck is going on ?”

Desire, or rather, Universe, turns towards her purple eyes.

“Nothing, Lina Frosilaen. Just my awakening.”

“You’re not making any fucking sense.”

“Am I? Maybe I should smite you for that disrespect.”

And Lina, for once in her life, shuts up. Maybe because she finally realized that Desire’s voice is not Desire, or maybe it’s because her body is now squirming, trying to fight that amount of power.

Universe rolls her eyes.

“Can you stay put, Desire ? I won’t be there for long, you’re the one restraining me.”

“Let’s see if I got that properly," interjected Asura with a wary expression. “You are not Desire, but rather the power she tried to awaken during those last four days. And now you want to gain… Or regain autonomy but she’s stopping you. On what grounds ? You don’t look like a power a mere goddess can control.”

I would be insulted for the use of “mere” goddess if I didn’t witness Universe break an enemy we took so long to fight in only one word. But I’m still surprised by her precedent affirmation. Why is Desire restraining her ? The fight proved the power of her mother is not something you can control. If she continues, she may end up hurt in the process.

I don’t want that.

I don’t want to ever see her agonize.

Universe crosses Desire’s arms, a bored expression on her face. It doesn’t suit her at all.

“You’re right on many points. I don’t intend to stay any longer under the yoke of that pest, and nor do I intend to hurt you. I just want to spend some time with my daughter, see what I missed in this word. But she wants to… extort from me a last service before I leave.”

“That is ?”

She sighs, before turning her head towards me.

“Well, she wants me to definitively stabilize the sovereign of magic. In a physical, mental, magical, and… Sexual way, apparently.”

wh.

wait.

wHAT ????

I’m not the only one surprised, apparently. Lina looks like she just swallowed a big chunk of Heir viscera. And I won't talk about Asura whose jaw is somewhere on the floor, stupefied by whatever just got out of Universe’s mouth. She turns her head towards me, and I feel her eyes piercing me, in a mix of disgust and astonishment.

My cheeks are probably completely blue with embarrassment, but I still have the energy to shout.

“Hey, don’t fucking look at me like that! I have no damn idea what she’s talking about!”

“Mairù Claro and women, once again striking, she sneers, putting a hand on her forehead. You really have no idea ?”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean ?!”

Worst is, I hear from what’s left of the infirmary a double laugh that I know damn well whose it is. And I’m getting fucking tired of this shit. Now is the moment you choose to be little siblings ??

“Eat your damn shit, Baku, Akira ! I didn’t ask for your mockery!”

Of course, the laughs don’t stop. And Universe is still looking at me, quite expectantly. I think she’s waiting for something.

“What do you think about all that ?”

What, me ? She’s asking for MY input ? It’s even more surprising than Desire admitting she wants to fuck me. Because well I’m not gonna lie, now I think I should have seen that coming.

Trying to hide the embarrassment, I cross my arms and stare at her right in those damn purple eyes.

“You think I would spit on an opportunity to finally live my life without pain and the risk of exploding at every damn moment ?”

“Funny. I would have thought you’d rather die.”

I.

Well.

That is kinda true.

I did want to die. Moments before. days before. I don’t know.

But now when I think about the possibility of me dying it’s just. That would be such a waste. I didn’t die during that giant ass battle, why would I die now ? And if I don’t die, I will take the opportunity to live. And live however I want to.

However I want to…

“Yeah, well, suicidal phase over. People would be too happy I’d disappear anyway.”

And I’m certainly not gonna let that happen. If I have to live, I will annoy everyone that thought I would die soon in a way they won’t forget.

If I can live, I'd rather live a life for people who believed I could. Like the little woman restraining the mother of all life with all her body and might just to give me that chance.

Universe smiles. Then open her mouth. And the litany of words that gets out of it sends all of us into a deep, deep sleep.

***

“You still think life is unfair now ?”

I have woken up from one of my first full nights of sleep in ages, and Desire is on top of me, her transparent dress not covering anything. I can still see the marks I gave her earlier in the day, everywhere on her chest and prominent belly, where my child is preparing to be born. I’m sure I’m in a worse state. Gods, apparently, mark as well as sovereign of magic when both of them want to, and I desperately want to keep a trace of her on me.

I laugh, kiss her right next to that cute smirk, and bring her closer.

“Abyss yes. How is a man supposed to get immortality, full power with no repercussions and a woman that perfect without thinking how life is unfair to the poor saps that won’t get the same chance ?”

“Sweettalker.”

“Always for you, sweetheart.”

Her laugh joins mine while she lays down on me, her pregnant belly weighing against my stomach. She’s heavy, but I would admit that for nothing, because that means she would move, and I don’t want her to move.

“Up to do something today ? We could go to the castle and annoy Lina, or just stay here for a little while to do some… Sport.”

“We were at it for five DAYS.”

“And I’m still a goddess, my dear. Plus, from what I’ve seen, your body is reacting very well to your newfound infinite endurance.”

“I’m beginning to think I’m nothing but a sex toy to you, love. A very useful, extremely multitasking and always willing sex toy.”

Her laugh rings in my ear, the sound of it rippling through my body.

“You wound me. Alright mister, no sex for you!”

“You’ll yield before me, you cute little horndog.”

“Then no hugs.”

She looks at me with a victorious smile while I burst out laughing.

“Please, no! My heart won’t handle it !”

“Liar! You don’t have any heart !”

“And the fact you asked for my dick to be regenerated rather than my heart is saying a lot about you, honey!”

She hits me playfully with the back of her hand, or tries to anyway, since I catch her right in the act and make her roll on the bed. We spend a little time like this, just playfully fighting, ignoring the sheets and pillows going everywhere in the room. There’s no one to hear us anyway, this far in Liovelnis’s desert.

Finally I yield, and she climbs once again on top of me, just plopping on my chest. Intrigue the first she’s adorable when she pouts like that.

But because I’d rather see her smile, I stroke her hair gently, and bring her closer. I have no heart for her to hear beating, it’s true, but it’s for her nonetheless.

I let her put her head in the curve of my shoulder and smile.

“I love you.”

She kisses my collarbone with the exact same smile.

“I love you too.”

#hel is talking #hel ocs #lysara ibruael #lysara #hel stories #hel writing #I kindaaa intended for this to be short but I spent two days writing it and Docs is telling me it's 30 pages sooooooo #sorry if you find that long #but they're cute anyway #even for a manipulative goddess that like her men being murderous scientist rats #and said murderous scientist rat

[misc-obeyme]

to <3 anon, I was gonna say definitely play the event since you have the cheat cards, but playing through the battles can be time consuming the first time around if your team isn't built. Since you'd have to play everything one by one at least once (I'm so used to skipping the battles ajsjd). Once you get through everything once with an A or S rank (can't remember which), you can quick clear (and then you can collect AP/joker cards/other things to save up for when you're ready). You could also skip the story parts if you're worried about spoilers?

I am someone who plays both, and I can tell you it's wild. I'm stuck on OG around lesson 60, I need to build my cards more, but I'm completely caught up in NB and have full teams that are all 98+ level wise. I log in on both apps to do daily tasks every day

I do both events simultaneously, log in to collect the AP at both times (NB is priority because it loads faster), but I just quick clear the battles every night to get the prizes. NB is the one where I'll try to use up all my AP before work so that when I get home, it's fully replenished.

I love OG to death, present Mammon would have to be ripped from my hands, and I love how much more of his character we get to see in NB. But it is a little frustrating and discouraging when I can't get past battles in OG. I've been playing NB since day one, even without finishing OG, all because I didn't want to get "left behind". I've got so much uhh fomo (?) from past Mammon cards that I never had a chance to get in OG. Which has now turned into me having every single Mammon card in NB... 💀 Even memory cards that feature him (except HDD .5 charge mission memory card, I was broke at the time)

I am dedicated to this man 😭 anyway sorry that got kinda sad at the end. I have my reasons for loving both games, and OM Mammon will always have a chokehold on me. I'm gonna be old one day and using a cane that's probably yellow because it reminds me of him 💀 It's silly things like that that get me through the day, I even have a photo card of him in my wallet 😗

also apparently my store made 10k over predicted sales on Sunday. I don't know what the prediction was originally, but jesus 😭 there's been lots of wild customers and things going wrong, but I am still kicking. I run solely on caffeine and spite !!

i don't know if I rambled about it before, but I have ideas for what my mc would work as in the devildom. and I'm thinking about the dinner rotation in the HoL, but that's for another day's ask lol OKAY BYEE

- ✨ anon

Oh gosh, I am used to skipping the battles, too lol. It does depend on what your goals are, I think! I personally play through every event... though sometimes it's almost painful because the stories are often not great. (This one was especially underwhelming.) But I read them because sometimes you get good one liners lol. And I only grind for stuff if I want the cards, but if you wanted to use up your AP you might as well use it on events! Then you'll get rewards, even if you don't get the cards.

Yeah, OG is messed up when it comes to getting through all the lessons and NB is shaping up to be no better. But there are a lot more lessons in OG, so it takes longer. Back when I first started playing, I got through like the first two seasons and then didn't play the main story for months while I leveled my cards. Then the same thing happened between season three and season four lol. Then they were like NB is happening! And I was like oh hell no I am gonna finish season four if it kills me.

Yeah you got it with FOMO! Fear of missing out! I had that, too, with past cards that are just... lost to me forever. I did a similar thing, but with Barb. Every NB Barb card is belong to me! I've been spending my time getting some of the older ones from Lonely Devil in OG, too. And just unlocking everything like chats and what not.

LOL I'm loving the idea of little old you out there with a yellow cane 'cause of Mams, that's adorable!!

I have a few lil bits of merch and it absolutely brings me joy. Plus when you're old, you'll be free to do whatever you want. I feel like people tend to write it off as oh old people are so silly!

Caffeine and spite, ✨ anon, I swear I am concerned about you! I hope things calm down for you so you can take a nice break!

Hmmm I don't think I remember what your MC's job might be? But if you already told me, please feel free to tell me again!

#I am very forgetful in general #but I try to remember tidbits about MCs and such! #obey me #obey me nightbringer #✨ anon #misc answers

[icy-watch]

Good lord, Icy. What have you been drinking and where can I get some?? I mean, when you start analyzing the wood?? Hello??? And you mention the Underworld??? 😭 Okay those meanings are kind of insane, maybe hold onto them. Interpretive freedom and all. Is it too late to convince you this has nothing to do with Wukong (as if all of LMK hasn't already had to do with him) and is just a reference to the opening theme lyrics Familiar Tales, New Adventures? XD I referenced it before because I knew it was sneaky enough heh. Last episode, Mac dragged in the Not-Mayor like your street cat bringing dead things into the house, this episode he is the house cat caught 10 seconds before disaster tied up in a ball of yarn. Kidding kidding, but true as well. Remember the "tied up in his own shadows and chains?" Yeah, weird. So apparently (and keep in mind, sometimes flashbacks can be biased!) that bit really did happen and Wukong was there to see it. It's not just everyone they've fought against, it seems to be...a memory almost, wouldn't you say, Icy? Macaque tied up like that, the tear/blood drop I promised you? The especially evident "Monkey, no violence!" you hear after? Tripitaka and the fillet??? Also Wukong's face when seeing his friend <3 <3 <3 and his instinctive yell when hearing Tripitaka OOOH 👀 omg. I'm all over that. Does it still bother him? I mean with how often the headband dug into his head, how much it hurt, oh he's got lasting issues. Rip </3 your turn to get trauma triggered. Oh yeah, also the translation. Mac here says, "You're nothing!" Like, I think I said it reflected what he told MK in The Winning Side. As a theory for what he told Wukong. "Your staff's gone, your power and freedom's gone. You're not the Monkey King, you're nothing!" if he found him with the pilgrims. But his line and Nezha's are taken from previous episodes, so are they meant to be parallels of the further/not recent past or, just chosen from there? We're pretty split on how Mac reacted tbh, and the Chinese dub has him say "You abandoned me!" which changes the meaning entirely. And falls in line with Shadow Play. The new characters' lines are pretty solidly from the past so eh. Maybe both. I talk a lot about the monkeys (and I'll probably refer to them as shadowpeach for convenience's sake when speaking of their scenes together despite it being a ship name, their duo name is eclipse/sundial duo but we're all just too used to the former.) anyways, this is meant to say that this season, for the sake of a certain someone in your note's favorite antagonist, I will be rewatching s4 to sort them out :P I think its worth the effort, what with fandom repeatedly being extra weird with your fav, I get it, so may as well explain what the heck might be going on.

Little teenage Icy went thru a witch phase to try and curse people. I learned about different woods and stuff. My tarot knowledge came out of this time in my life too.

Miiiiiiight be a little too late lol.

Oh, that's interesting. Memories. Hmmmm...

#thanks for asking! #qua #nonnie

[jonmyblaze]

Uncle Wilson theTerminator.

Slade Wilson wasn't even looking for the girl, he was just on a kill mission but NoOoo...

apparently this little teenage blue haired twerp just TELEPORTED right in front of him after he sliced up another one of his targets.

Crap and now she's crying to.

And Christ the lungs on her. Not even Joey had that's strong of a lung

Oh look a whole minute. And now she's taking a breath.

----

Lian Harper remembered the Pain, she hated the teleportation, the heartache of being ripped away from her family

oh she fucking hated it it took her years but she hated it. She had finally gotten a chance to hug her father(see Green arrow 2023 #1)

But now she was ripped away again. Fuck.

Not even 10 minutes not even 10 fucking minutes that she could have with her own fucking dad without disappearing to God knows where, with blood and death and it looks like a meat grinder went off and killed everything in its path.

Her life was hell.

She just wanted to be with her family dad Uncle dick Donna! Ollie Wally conner. Anybody

Even mom. Fuck she forgot to tell Mom. Shit she dropped the mask.

She was alone. And Mom couldn't even find her. all because she wanted to hug her father.

------slade

It took the girl 10 minutes to finally calm down from crying. But still she knew how to wipe off the blood in less than a minute. That was strange. She even made sure to have none of the blood on her clothing.

"Who are you kid"

Slade wanted to know, no normal teenager would just teleport directly in front of his Carnage without some reason of being here.

"My name is l-Lian. " The girl with blue hair answered, almost unsure that was her own name.

"Well Where the hell did you come from Lian." That ignited something defensive in her it seemed.

"what's it to you? What, are you a cop? "

"So that I could send you back. To wherever the fuck you came from"

"Why the hell would you do that? Are you Fed? Black ops? cop? "

Because I don't want to deal with extra terrestrial bullshit. "

slade Wilson knew that if some random teenager teleported in front of you it's better to deal with their issues and then forget about that entire adventure it was best for his own sanity.

" Ha! Good luck with that." She smiled a bitter smile." I'm cursed"

Cursed kid? Sheesh

Kid I deal with the supernatural and mortal realm, I think you're exaggerating things

No! I'm not ! every time I'm with in my family I just get teleported to another part of the fucking Earth. I can't even hug my own damn father without being violently thrown across the planet."she was breaking again, she was going to cry slade did not want that.

He already had dealt with her for 10 fucking minutes of crying, pathetic ugly subs.

he did not want to be in that position again.

""I I just wanted to be with my family. Just want my dad. I'll take Mom even."

It was said on that day, The mercenary's heart grew three sizes that day. Or shrunk six sizes and just wanted to deal with the child and get her out of his hair. Depends on how you look at it.

Deathstroke removed his mask

+------

Lian looked at the man, he was grizzled old and with gray hair, wearing an eye patch.

A grizzled old pirate assassin? Just her fucking luckz, can't get a good education because teleporting can't be with Dad because teleporting, can't be with Grandpa Ollie because he's fucking dead, can't go to Dinah can't go to Connor Lian was fucked and all she has was this damn fucking old assumingly assassin.

Why in all that is holy was she cursed to have such a life of pain and misery what did she do?, At least she could fucking remember what her dad looks like. At least he remembered her name now.

Something's going on with the timelines she did not know but this was her fucking life, and if she has to use some grizzled asshole to get uncursed or find Mom she would use them.

Turning Real tears and fake tears into bargaining power against mercenaries was one of Lian's top skills. Even if that was only against mother.

-----

"I'll make you a deal child,

You give me information on your family names, addresses and stuff like that that I could use to hunt them down and then once we get this whole teleporter situation under wraps then you could be with your family happily ever after..

You'll be safe alive with your family in no time."

-----

Lian was desperate where was she to go, this wasn't Gotham this wasn't any other cities she was used to,

It was some kind of bunker in the middle of nowhere, she already looked around the premises and everything like Mom would have wanted her to. Like Dad would have wanted her to. And there was nothing.

If this will get her home this would be the only chance she has

------

*"You mean it?"she asked with a false innocence. She had to get home she couldn't take it anymore. No more teleporting no more bullshit.

"I promise I'll do everything in my power to ensure that you return home to your family"

Slade Wilson thought this would be easy.

Oh how he wished it was easy

#Jade Roy #lian harper #roy harper #dc fanart #dcu comics #dc comic #dick grayson #new teen titans #deathstroke #slade wilson #shoes harper #lian #jade nyugen #jade nguyen #yj #dc #teen titans #green arrow #green arrow2023 #ollie queen #oliver queen #dinah lance #Deathstroke #deathstroke the terminator #just let this girl be with her family #cheshire #redcat #speedy