#BUT I AM LOSING MY ENTIRE MIND ATM | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

its-your-mind · 2 years

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Help I’m late to the party re: cryptic Rusty Quill Magnus Archives news and don’t know how to catch up!

You have come to the right place! Here I will summarize The Bullshit™️ with time stamps where able. I will also update this post when new things come to light.

Let’s go one day at a time!

10 October

Rusty Quill Twitter and Instagrams post UNPROMPTED, UNEXPLAINED eyes

On the same day, RQ patrons got a code in the weekly Patreon round up

12 October

RQ Twitter posts a tweet with an image of a cassette tape with the same code as had been given to the patrons: U3RhdGVtZW50IFJlbWFpbnMK

Using base64, the code comes out to “Statement Remains”

The RQ insta also posted this image to their story:

Which, if you take the image as binary code, comes out to “Are you still listening?”

A new code was also posted to RQ patrons, and will be added here if/when it is publicly released.

EDIT: There were strings of text added to the episode description of Goodbye for Now in the TMA feed, which when translated through Base32 and then Base64 read: "this one was an accident. sorry -_-"

Amazing, 11/10 work, RQ

(ty to @official-infinitea for the update on the pod description codes!)

EDIT: also on-going is like… every person associated with RQ being VERY MEAN and dropping hints that we’re all gonna lose our shit whenever whatever this is drops

13 October

Apparently the Patreon code from yesterday led people wildly off-course, because they gave another hint today to solve it. Again, going to keep the specifics of that off this post bc patreon, but know that in the end, it leads to the same place as what is below.

Also, Fay Roberts, who played Daisy Tonner in TMA, tweeted

The QR code translates to: WHR'TS ECAHXJ TCLKHX U AC JV Y

It was solved the rough four layers of translation and encryption, to read: “your guess is as good as mine.” Thank you, Mx. Roberts. Where would we be without your clues leading us.

The RQ Twitter and Instagram also posted

New episode:

I'll let you listen to that one on your own 😉

Code in the description is

7V?UOEdDb7B-9W`H>[n7AhG3$ATAo0@V?lrB6JQG+F/-BB6%F(@<=^@$<L\[@3B5q/0IH*G%G<0EbBM;6?$RHDfTD?+F/!?Aft`(H$CHLDdmBm+EhBM

Which translates via ascii to

"Statement Remains. Are you still listening?

Join us, Thirtieth October, lets talk about it."

4pm BST tweet:

Using a polybus code box, the numbers translate to:

The Magnus Archives Two

THAT’S RIGHT BITCHES WE GETTIN MORE TMA

#tma #the magnus archives #rusty quill #statement remains #tma spoilers #LISTEN I KNOW THIS SOUNDS SO PUT TOGETHER #BUT I AM LOSING MY ENTIRE MIND ATM #FEEL FREE TO SCREAM AT ME #BC I AM SCREAMING

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sw1mmingfoolz · 2 years

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growth is feeling like u wanna unalive urself and full on ugly sobbing for like 15 mins before being like right anyway what options do i have rn

#sorry for personal posting on main but ah #i am losing my mind these days lol #i have no sleep schedule i just nap all the time n it kinda works but also i hate waking up at 2/3pm #but i just cannot stop #i don't actually have an official narcolepsy diagnosis yet in spite of my drs agreeing that's what it is #i did an mslt in February and was told I'd get my results in early march at the latest #it's may and I've heard nothing #called the number i was given and was transferred like 4 times before being told to just call my gp #who said they hadn't gotten any results so there was nothing they could tell me #i had to fight so hard to get an mslt in the first place because they just keep diagnosing me with depression #and yknow if i have depression it's BECAUSE of the sleep disorder lol like i cannot stay awake i fall asleep constantly #I can't sit down to write or watch a film or anything atm #i keep saying new bite me or gonna write another 500 drabble and then i'm out cold on and off til 3am #i'm exhausted all the time it rules my life i make plans around it and cancel any that are before noon #and if ik i have something important i have to be up early for i literally do not go to sleep bc ik I won't wake up #it's ruining my entire life lmao but i just get told i have depression or. have my mslt results lost?? ig??#was on the phone for over a half hour and just entirely broke down crying afterwards like i could not stop #eventually i just told myself to get a grip and started researching private clinics cuz i can save enough for private treatment if i try #and they listen more when you're paying them aha it's just narcolepsy is so rare most places don't even know of it #it's likely I'll have to travel to london and shell out a fortune to even try getting any answers but living like this is #just so unsustainable like i wanna do a degree and get a 'real job'#anyway sorry for the big tag ramble and personal posting i have had a rough morning but. I'll figure it out #i always do somehow #a/n #personal #probably delete later #i really said personal posting on main girl this is a sideblog what are u talking about

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hoeforhao · 9 months

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Chipmunk Cheeks 🍥🧁🍡🍧|| Joshua Oneshot ||

ꔫ pairing: husband!joshua × wife!reader

ꔫ summary: your arranged husband takes care of you in your period pain.

ꔫ genre: pure fluff,mentions of blood and pain, reader sort of has body dysmorphia

ꔫ series: svt as boyfriends

ꔫ author's note: walking into the traffic if i don't find myself a joshua hong cuz am dying from period cramps atm!!

Masterlist

Marriage was never on your book of life and wouldn't ever be your cup of ale. Did your parents know this since the very beginning? Yes! Yet they absolutely went out of their capacity to defy your choices and arrange your betrothal to none other than the Hong Joshua.

Mrs Hong was your mother's colleague, more specifically her best gossip buddy. They were literally known as the gadgets of their office. And when both the women saw that their little ones are getting old with no potential chance of finding their partners by themselves, they settled upon the dreaded agreement.

All your pleas about not wanting to get married to someone you have barely had three to four conversations with, someone whose entire personality, preferences literally everything was unknown to you, were completely left unheard by your parents. Apparently they wanted their daughter to have a "secured future". Literal BULLSHIT.

The most terrifying day of your life was just two weeks ago and here you lay whimpering in pain on the bed of someone you've barely spoken to or looked at since the wedding.

"What a nice time for you to pay your visit, you bastard" you internally curse at your periods.

Yes you're basically dying from period cramps. You didn't know where the nearby medical shop was around here neither did you've the energy to go downstairs and get yourself a hot pack. You were quite literally awaiting your death from organ crumbling pain in your ''husband's room". Too dramatic for just period cramps? Yes! But why react to anything normally when you've the option to absolutely lose your mind over it.

You were so damn lost in your nonsense rantings to the walls of your room, that you failed to register joshua being back from work already.

Finding the house engulfed in absolute silence made his nerves falter for a moment. Usually it would either be filled with loud tv noises of you watching cinnamoroll on the couch or clanking of the utensils as you baked yourself another new dessert recipe.

He quickly throws his coat over the armrest and hops towards your room with those little bunny legs of his ; only to find you completely curled up like a boba ball under the blankets as small painful moans echoed through the walls.

"Y/n, w-what's wrong?" you jolt up from your little coocon as Joshua's warm hands grazes against your forehead.

"Are you okay? You don't seem to have a fever. Did you've a bad day? Did anyone make you cry? Are you missing your parents? If so let's go to their place right now" he grabs your arm gently to pull you out of the bed.

"Would you let me answer or just assume things by yourself Josh!" you unwrap your hands from his while literally burning holes into his face.

"Y-yeah sorry. I was just wo- umm worried." his face hangs low from embarrassment or maybe even a bit of hurt? Not being able to understand what's bothering his wife.

"It's okay. I was j-just having really bad p-period cramps" your face now starts turning crimson, not because talking about periods with a man makes you uncomfortable but because it was h-him...your 'arranged husband'.

"Oh my god Y/n why didn't you call me!!!! I would've run back home from office immediately and brought you treats. Did you eat anything? Where is your hotbag!! Goddamn girl why aren't you taking care of yourself" you wonder if joshua participated in speed talking competitions earlier judging his ability to blurt out sentences without a single pause.

"Calm down Mr Bunny Teeth!!! It's nothing special. I've these every month. The pain will ease out gradually." you nod at him trying to reassure the man that you're infact, not dying.

"No no no way you can talk this so lightly!!! What if you burst from the pain huh! I can't clean up a bloody mess. Hell No" Joshua's last remarks ends up earning him a hard smack from you, making both you chuckle lightly. Dang your husband was even more dramatic than you!

"No seriously tho, you need to take care and pamper yourself during these days. Wait I'll get you some treats" he stands up from the end of your bed to leave towards the kitchen when your arms grabs his from the back.

"I-i don't e-eat sweets or rather I umm can't" your face droops low trying to fight the stray tear making its way onto your lap.

Joshua turns towards you in a swish and bends down to the floor, not caring about bruising his knees on the cold marble; both of his palms reaching to cup your cheeks.

"Why y/n?" a two word sentence was enough to make you break down into a crying mess.

"I - i was a-always told that I'm f-fat and s-so i stopped e-eating my favorite food w-which was s-sweets" you were talking like a five year old, words mixed up with your sobbing and face stained with snot and tears at the same time.

Joshua's firm hands gently grazed over your face as he wiped the mess off of it with his satin white shirt, while the other refused to leave your cheeks.

"You will eat as many sweets as you want love, as you buckets of ice cream you wanna feast on. And I'll be sitting right here infront of you so that each time you think about stopping yourself because of what the world thinks, your face will be planted with a kiss." you've turned completely red by the choice of his last word, the pain in your belly now mixed with a tingling sensation.

"You are perfect the way you're y/n! I can't even imagine a single milligram of you leaving this world. Like omg just think what a great loss will this universe face then!!! I want to see you eat to your heart's content, enjoy each and every meal. Do you even know how bright that smile of your glares when you munch on your food like a happy raccoon, cheeks stuffed up like a smol little chipmunk."

"S-shua you-"

"Sshh! No more words love. Sit here 'til I bring all the food from downstairs and then we'll sit together and watch sanrio, okay chipmunk?" Joshua's slender fingers draw against your lips, sending a flutter of butterflies all over your bones.

Sitting on the bed like an obedient wife you wait for him to arrange a literal feast of sweet treats infront of you, alongside tucking you into the duvet with the hot bag on your belly, making a literal cinnamon roll out of you ; wrapping his arms around your shoulders as your head now rests on his, taking in the sweet scent of his lilac cologne as you two draw yourselves into solace while watching tv together.

"Marriage isn't that scary afterall"

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parad-ice-lostandfound · 26 days

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Things that come in my head as I play through Diasomnia's chapter (chp 38-55):

[Potential spoilers below darlings, proceed with caution!]

Am I ready for this? Hell no. Do I know I will regret everything? Yes. Am I still gonna try to finish everything in one day? Yep. Let's go!

Ortho??? Calling from RSA??? Is this Idia's dream? Malleus?! Cute to see him taking care of Drago but like the tiny details showing that its actually a dream? And Idia's catching on! Slowly but hey, progress is still progress! It's also nice to see how things could be different if og Ortho was still around.

Where are we? Why are there terrifying ghost like things on the windows? Is this Ramshackle dorm before it became, well, Ramshackle as we know it now? I am so confused now lol– Wait we're in Mickey's room?! How'd we get on the other side of the mirror? We're all having an out of body experience... I dunno how to feel about that tbh.

Silver! My baby's here! And we get to see his UM!

Have I ever told you guys how much I like Malleus' humming? Cause I like it very much. But anyways... we're in cyberspace now...? Oh Ortho! Ortho's awake! Poor baby's trying so hard to wake up his brother.

It's kinda scary seeing how powerful Malleus is. Like, to the point where he can force even Styx issued gear into shut down mode, he's seriously overpowered. Can't wait to see Idia continue the trend and become the hero in this tale, but there's a lot of heart ache we need to go through before we reach that point so, best of luck to all our poor hearts.

I wonder if there's any particular significance to the fact that the time is stopped at 9:18.

So we finally meet Idia's dad, huh? His helmet reminds me of Hades' Helm of Darkness. And we meet his mom as well. A lot of technical stuff and lore drop that went a bit over my head, but it's fine! We'll be fine!

Seems like eccentricity is the middle name of the Shroud family. Then again all geniuses are a bit eccentric. Poor idia, his mom definitely snooped through password protected folders. I would riot if my parents ever snooped through my laptop, so I can't wait for him to wake up and proceed to lose his shit over it lmao

Ortho's Cerberos gear and the two support droids are so cool! The little family moment is cute, but I hope this isn't a death flag for poor Ortho because I've seen too much of that trope– Now we're back with the Prefect! Ngl, Silver's kinda hot when he orders us around.

Dreams are a very tricky subject, so I don't blame Silver for not knowing much about how his UM works. That being said, I'm ready to learn a little more about Sebek, now that we're in his dream. I'm not his biggest fan atm, but... let's see. I'm hoping my perspective on him changes because he seems like a fun character to explore.

.... Something about the way he calls us human just pisses me off lmao. But we will be keeping an open mind. I will come to love you Sebek (yes it is a threat)

I feel terrible for Silver. Imagine looking at people you've known your entire life, two of them people you look up to and one you've trained alongside, and seeing strangers. Strangers who live in a fairy tale, who want you to join them and live happily ever after, sacrificing your freedom and responsibilities of the real world for an ideal ending. Who wouldn't want to take that chance? Making the choice to go against them, for their own good, is the most difficult thing to do in this situation. Raising your weapon against the one you trained your whole life to protect, fighting against someone who was once your comrade-in-arms.... it's terribly heartbreaking. But, hey, at least we got Sebek to wake up.

EHY IS MALLEUS SO FUCKING OP DIFVDHDGDJSVDVDJD B DHFDUSJDHS?!?!?!?!?

We... we're in Lilia's dream now.... brb, gotta get some tissues and get ready for emotional damage–

It's nice to see Silver taking the lead and being the dependable one. Also, General Lilia!! Been waiting for him since I got spoilers back when I was stuck in Ignihyde's book. I love how his hair transitions from being long and having red streaks to short and cute with pink streaks. Long hair is often associated, at least in my culture, with maturity and a sense of responsibility, while short hair is more fun and child-like. Similarly, red is an intense colour, while pink could technically be seen as a softer, gentler cousin to it. It shows Lilia's change from a warrior to caregiver and I think it's really neat. I just wish he could have seen him in a more adult-like form in the past.

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disruptivevoib · 5 months

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HI eleutheromania anon again

not sure how to word my thoughts fully but so normal about whole. actually just eleutheromania whole and soul's entire dynamic infested my brain for days

it's just!!! so well written!!!! and i'm so normal about the two of them. it was nice 2 see an au about them because they make me sick /pos

question wise.. i dunno. any facts u want to say or anythinf about the au is cool really.,.,...,..

ermm. yea ill sign off

-🫀

I am glad you enjoyed it! Its the first fic I've written in a long time (probably been about 8 years?) but I wrote the whole thing actually in the notes app on my phone then edited and rewrote it on the computer. So that is one fun silly fact.

But in regards to the au...

It came about due to me splitting the concept for one au into two! Eleutheromania specifically also wound up focusing on HMS+W in way of self-destruction and sabotage.

Maybe if I can convince myself to write Eleutherophobia, the version from Whole's perspective which goes a bit into the post Eleutheromania stuff.. I could get more of the story out to sort of build on that.

The base fic ATM showcases it, but not to the entire extent of which.. both Whole and Soul are horrible, sure, but neither is really evil to me! They're both the same guy and a reflection of that same person who hates himself so much he was willing to destroy (in Whole's case) the last part of himself that held out hope, or loved himself.

A willing self sabotage, due to know knowing how to become comfortable with the person you are or will be. While its derivative in a way from the CCCC source material I always like exploring mental health themes so.. boom!

There is a repeating pattern of this destruction too. Eleutheromania to phobia to... what.. well.. I don't know what I'll call the one with Heart and Mind, if I even write it. But that's where a more positive resolution lies if I can focus on having the time!

Whole and Soul swap places once Soul takes control and from there its an interesting dynamic that develops, even more so between Soul, Heart and Mind.. because Soul did all of this for them initially, but after some time convinced himself they weren't real. Something about saving yourself and trying hard but winding up leaving the people you care about behind and becoming someone else when you lose your way.

Not that Soul became anyone else, he just did the one thing he knew how to do, which was reflect Whole.

It is also a point to say that Heart and Mind do not need Soul to agree to make Whole here. Their loop typically went that Soul was missing, they blamed one another for him leaving. He would show up once Heart was in the pit and Mind was trying to manage control, Soul would threaten them, they'd make-up and the end. But it never really meant that Calliope (Soul) had a say in all of it.

Interestingly, I guess, he was as much of a puppet as Mind and Heart. The only difference is he remembers and that's it!

#info dumps about my au to you #asks #voidthoughts #eleutheromania au #I think I dunno its probably my au with the most symbolism?#Sun Down I love a lot though still #And other aus do have a lot of symbolism to em but stuff like Swap and Sun Down aren't inherently built for it #call them more self indulgent with a lot of symbolism pertaining to the characters and much less whole or how the album does it

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ge · 6 months

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There's something I'm conflicted about about Tang Bo, because I learned about him through fanarts, but the ones I saw at the time were ones where he looked so feminine that I actually thought he was a woman, and I was happy about it because I like badass ladies (the two we have are nice, but it hits differently when the character is more like an equal).

And though I love Tang Bo as he is, I'm kind of disappointed that we didn't get more female characters, which led me to start writing my own fic out of spite with a female Tang Bo and try to explore the implications of him being a woman while being... Well, a dark saint.

But since changing Tang Bo's sex is a controversial take, and my intention is to explore the character of being a woman in the Tang family and the restrictions that came with it, so I tried to write them out of a hetero normative dynamic.

Now I have this mix of an asexual but demiromantic-in-denial Chung Myung and an androgynous/lady Oscar-like Tang Bo (usually passing as a man) who sees marriage as something entirely political but loves Chung Myung so deeply while they're trying to figure out what weird thing they have between them during the end of the war against the demonic cult. Mostly doing some character study and world-building.

But I'm dealing with a massive writer's block, and I felt like asking if it's a concept worth exploring or maybe moving to a different type of story and scrapping the female Tang Bo concept.

Ugh, perhaps I should try to write the one shot with the aphrodisiac plot. Or if you have some plot ideas, I would write them. I just want to write, but I'm losing motivation because I'm unable to make any real progress.

Anyway, I'm sorry to bother you with this, but you're like the TangChung main account, so I thought I could have some insight about this ship that's been consuming my mind and care.

hmm its an interesting concept i suppose and i understand the want for more interesting and equal in terms of power/strength female characters but i wont lie when i say im probably not the best person to ask about this concept specifically since im biased and dont like genderbending a gay couple to make them straight, no matter how subversive you are with the tropes u use in their now cis hetero relationship.. if ur really interested in pursuing writing this idea and want my opinion on it, i dont have anything else to say about it unfortunately

as for any other fic topic, the aphrodisiac idea was funny and would make for a humourous fic id definitely read..! i am unfortunately sacked out on any other fic ideas LOL i put my cards all in w tang bo returns/lives aus and i cant really think of anything else that might be rattling around in my head atm hmmm..

tang bo lives/returns aus are pretty versatile so im sure something new and unique could be pulled from there & theres also a huge lack of chung mun & chung jin return aus which could be soooo interesting id love to read a fic where chung myung gets his brother(s) back, im also really into those fics where the disciples go back in time to a hundred years previous and meet geomjon chung myung and they become his disciples in that era.. maybe a gen fic of chung myung bonding w the kids or with tang gunak and the other alliance leaders.. etc etc

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kingprinceleo · 2 years

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Ok be honest, how is your mental health?

HAHAHSJDNENSHDBBDNDHD THIS IS THE SECOND TIME SOMEONE HAS ASKED ME THIS TODAY&----- WHAT ARE YALL SEEING /lh

But completely honestly!!!! It's kinda shite!!! my home environment sucks and everyday feels like I'm exhausted and my mind is disconnected from my body, I'm getting triggered from trauma stuff way more easily and frequently and paranoia and distrust of other people is at an all time high!! And the worst part of it all is losing the motivation to draw, like I really want to be drawing and I have ideas, but it takes so much strength and will to actually get myself to do it and it's kinda miserable, I don't have nearly enough steam power for comics atm and it's stressing me out so bad, because when I can't draw it feels like I lose who I am entirely

So yeah heehoo, we ain't feeling too hot and I'm really not sure how to fix any of it or where to start!

#cw vent

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hopeful-hugz · 11 months

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knowing your partner well can potentially make writing a lot easier, repost, do not reblog. meet the mun.

— basics

name: Egg, Riley or Rookie pronouns: She/Them reference of communication: IMs here or Discord (Or Texts if you have my cell #) single/taken: Single atm

— three facts

I have a little brother who goes by Pegg online. He’s the light of my life and adore him to bits; I could go on for hours about him.

I’m selectively mute.

I recently started my personal mental health journey; it’s got mixed results so far.

— experience

Overall I’ve been RPing from around 13 - 15 years at this point. This year (or next idr) is going to be my 10-year anniversary on Tumblr in specific though.

— sub-genres

I’ll do p much anything sub-genre wise. Though romantic, sexual and heavily dark themes (torture, death etc) need plotting.

— plots vs memes

Improv is always my go-to on Tumblr but I’m no stranger to plotting either. I don’t do it much nowadays unless it’s something that significantly impacts a character. But that’s because most times I try to plot it’s me presenting an idea and my partners just going along with it or accepting it as fact, rather than trying to bounce off the idea and improve it. My plotting style is very much that; taking ideas and building off of them. If I’m the only one building on them, chances are I’ll lose interest quickly and just stick to improv and memes. Since that partner seems more content to just go along with whatever comes along. That being said- When I do reblog memes it’s usually cause I desperately want people to send stuff in (ESPECIALLY when I’m begging in the tags), so don’t be afraid to reach out. Every ask I get makes my life a little easier to cope with.

— long or short replies

It depends on the context and how much I have to work with. It’s not about post length, but the potential in the reply and the context for it. You can have something wordy and filled with exposition on your character’s thoughts and feelings, but if they aren’t physically interacting with the other muses they are writing with then there’s not a lot of room for my muses to do anything in return. My muses can be pretty intuitive sometimes with people they connect with, but they aren’t mind readers. If you give them little to think about or work with physically, typically my replies will be shorter.

— best time to write

Entirely depends on the day. I struggle with a lot of chronic illnesses (to the point where going outside is a legitimate danger for me) and am starting my own mental health journey. Not to mention my folks like to spring stuff on the family last minute a lot of the time, or my father in particular will tear down my mood. Usually if I’m on, I’m on; usually either doing opens or memes while chipping away at drafts in the background.

Taken from @justiceburst (Love you Dusty) so feel free to take it from me <3

#Games and Watch || Dash Games #Breakfast in Space || OOC

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mari-lair · 1 year

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☀️, for the ask game

☀️ Has anyone ever left you a comment that made your day? What did it say?

I had a few, but recently only yours come to mind! You went into so many details, and paid so much attention, it got me writing proudly like Nene with her diary.

I worked on the chapter as if I was speedrunning the day I got it, even finished that week! And i still re-read it when I need motivation. I'm determined to make the next chapter long!

And here is what the comment said:

[so, uh, i may or may not have forgotten to comment on this for half a month… well, to compensate for my lateness i’ve decided to write my thoughts on this chapter in excruciating detail because i’m actually very normal (i swear)

1. THEY SHAKED HANDS… OH MY GOD… look it may not seem like much but when you think about it hand shaking is pretty much just hand holding with extra steps, so basically they just held hands (good for them!!!)

2. aka’s relationship with mirai is. so much to me. AND DRAWING PARALLELS TO TERU AND TIARA’S RELATIONSHIP… LITERALLY RATTLING MY CAGE BARS SO HARD AT THIS!!! also them agreeing that teru’s a piece of crap is so iconic fr

3. aka offering for teru to braid his hair is so damn telling of how theyre slowly but surely getting closer and starting to trust each other a bit and i just. AAAHHDJFJFJFJFJFJFFJAJSKDKKD. THIS IS DRIVING ME INSANE /POS

4. omg i remember when i was looking at one of the wips and i was like ‘wait op isn’t gonna pull a chapter 26 right…’ and i am SO GLAD that i dodged apollo’s dodgeball there because i’d probably cry if that happened

5. ‘wiggling around like a pathetic worm’ is such a Sentence™ and now it’ll be forever ingrained in my mind, i bet ten dollars i’m gonna end up quoting that like five times in a row while knowing damn well that nobody’s gonna fully understand me

6. aka’s reaction to teru being taller than him is so comically paradigmatic of their relationship like damn, i’m gonna go sit in a corner and think about that for a while gimme a few okay (and by ‘a few’ i mean the next few YEARS)

7. the part where teru ruffles aka’s hair and notices how cold it is OH MY GOD AJSKJDKDKFKF???? i think i’ll have to change that from a few years to a few decades… may or may not have led me down a rabbit hole of thoughts on aka’s lack of humanity ngl 😳😳😳 i’m like 2 seconds away from writing a small essay about it someone needs to either stop me or encourage me right now

8. ‘it was as if growing up made teru lose his survival instincts’… HEY, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN 😀 is it because he eventually falls in love with aka… i know what you are, teru 🤨📸 BUT ALSO WHAT IF IT’S SOMETHING ELSE okay i don’t know what else it could be atm but whatever it is i have a feeling it would not be good

9. tbh… i’m becoming a rita stan (i said, not even having the faintest idea of what she looks like because i can’t imagine people for the life of me) wait actually. you should draw her /nf… if you don’t do it first then i’ll just have to draw her myself ig

10. TERU CALLING AKA BY HIS NAME. TERU GETTING GENUINELY WORRIED FOR AKA. i am going to lock myself in my dryer and never come out omg i’m going to cry this is so important to me i’m never gonna dance again because of this

11. the way he’s starting to care about aka… i’m literally going to cry… god the way you write character dynamics and development is literally going to make me rip my eyes out IT’S SO GOOD AJKDDJKDKDFK. and the way he was denying it so hard too 😭😭 it’s like, he’s trying so much to convince himself that he doesn’t care about aka and i just,,, IT’S SO. YK

12. this is like. stage one: Denial™, yk. like he says and does all these things to try and distract from how he actually feels, HE OVERCOMPENSATES SO MUCH LMAO, idk how to articulate it but this is going to be the death of me, i was just waiting for him to realize just how much he cares deep down yk… actually this entire fic is just killing me to death tbh

13. AND THEN WHEN HE FINALLY ADMITS IT TO HIMSELF OH MY GOD. I’M GOING TO SLAM HIM INTO A MICROWAVE THIS LITERALLY MEANS EVERYTHING I’M USING EVERY FIBRE OF MY BEING TO NOT SCREAM AND SHOUT RN

14. and then of course he tries to pin the blame on aka, like he’s just doing everything in his power to deny his feelings lmaoo, that’s literally so in character for him… like who’s gonna tell him about friendship /j, btw this fic is stabbing me cesear-style rn

15. AND THEN THE ENDING OH MY GOD… NOW THAT’S HOW YOU END A CHAPTER FR!! i am currently going to explode with anticipation for the next chapter, i’m actually never going to shut up about this fic tbh

i don’t really know a good way to finish this small essay of a comment off, so i’ll just quote something i texted to a friend while in the middle of writing this: ‘i fink that fic may have ruined me tbh but it’s too radballs for me to go back now’. i think that adequately summarizes my thoughts on this tbh

so uh yeah!!! thanks for reading exactly 895 words of me incoherently rambling about this fic, next time i’m going to make a google slides presentation /j but seriously i love this fic so much and i can’t wait to see where it goes next!]

#I re read your aka tags when i need motivation too #you really are easily Aka's biggest fan #thank you for the ask!#and all the love you've given my clock boy

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blacktinnedpeaches · 2 years

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been didn't sleep much so he's staying home, although he says he doesn't feel bad so much as just tired

anyway I do ofc feel very very bad 💀I did make some progress and drifted off for a few hours (woke up every half hour anyway) and then woke up at 7am, at which point I became too terrified to go back to sleep, thanks for that one, brain

at least I see Tina tonight, last time this happened she was off the week I went insane lol

tasks are just to not stop eating until he goes back to work and try to not go fully insane lol.. really not happy. you can tell I feel like shit BC I've actually got a bottle of water voluntarily which I literally only drink when I feel too ill to drink coke lol 🥲

using my noise cancelling headphones to try and stay less insane, but it's so hard to sleep with the fuckers on and I always get quite worried about the damage I'm doing to my ears long term but otherwise I just wouldn't sleep at all so I really don't know what's worse

cat is here with me tho which is nice. although she is gonna start yelling soon for breakfast

god lads why am I so defective 🥲🥲🥲🥲 I'm aware how selfish this entire post comes across as well like Ben feels Mildly Ill well time to make that about me 🤩🤩🤩 he is testing negative for COVID still but given the wave ATM I'm honestly not convinced yet, we'll see

buckle up for another round of Cham losing her mind until she suddenly snaps out of it again 👏

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chronicowboy · 2 years

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1, 18, 22, 39 for the writers ask thingy!! <3

What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting? i used to be a calibri truther (in that i could never be bothered to change it) and a tnr hater but now i could make out with times new roman for the rest of my life Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage. The heroes have died. Because the heroes always die. The heroes die a thousand times over. Killed by villainy, killed by misfortune masquerading as fate, killed by love, killed by their own damn selves. And they're killed a thousand different times. Their minds go first, melting slowly into a choppy sea of guilt and fear and loss, so much fucking loss, then their hearts harden into husks, turning into crumbling stone and falling through the chasms of their chests for hours until it hits rock bottom and tumbles into oblivion where it just keeps falling, then the souls crack and shatter and skid across the earth with a screech of something once good and now gone, and the body's the last to go, the one thing keeping them walking through that burning inferno of life, the hurricane of hurt and happiness and saving and scorning and losing and losing and losing, the body goes last, the bones breaking one by one in a cacophony of silent agony, screams muffled by choked desires for death, so close, so close, too far, and the blood pours out in streams, scarlet has never looked prettier than when it's painting a sidewalk or the wound of a sacrificial lamb raised for slaughter, a stroke of deep red exactly where it's supposed to be on the canvas, and the pain means nothing, the pain means nothing but an end, because the pain is just a prelude to their peace, their final, well-deserved peace. this is the first paragraph of the epilogue to the first ever story i finished and idk i just love it. because the epilogue is a pretty happy ending but the story's really dark and the characters have been through so much so i wanted this final bit of happiness offset by the obvious pain of the character narrating it. at first it was a lot shorter and consisted of only the main points but i just wanted her anger and frustration to tumble through so i dragged the sentences out to ridiculous lengths and filled them with all the bad i could and idk i just love that this is the beginning of a happy ending. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud? i have literally never not once been organised about my writing my whole entire life <3 no but um every now and then when im trying to procratinate writing i'll give my onenotes a little organise and that's like my main one for writing actual chunks of floaty prose i have no idea what they're for, google keep is for tiny little ideas and sometimes ill scribble bullshit down on scraps of paper in the middle of the night when i dont want to turn my screens on and then i'll either 1) not be able to find it in the morning or 2) not be able to read my own handwriting What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up? oof god idek bc i am fighting for my life against the worst writers block ive ever had atm, normally my block consists of zero ideas but ive got so many my brain just will not put out words anymore. but i guess just the fact that even when its frustrating i know that my writing is like the biggest part of me and what i would define myself by because its just always been there and its what i want to do, although i dont know if I've ever actually wanted to give up. its more me being angry that i cant do it today so just counting down the seconds until i can again.

#sami answers #thank you so much for asking #the passage one was so fun to do but it took me so long to choose lol

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eusuntgratie · 2 years

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4, 10, 13, 17, 18, 25, 27, 36 sorry they're good and stuff.

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

hahahaha i know this isn't the intent of the question but y'all already know it's baby. got hit with that first baby in a buddie wip i'm reading and felt myself physically swoon.

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

um. i feel like there's definitely things i'm not thinking of but the your blue eyed boys series and its sequel series. god. i think about it all the time. i used to re-read the whole thing every year but i haven't in awhile. something about steve's complete and utter dedication to bucky, his tenacity in figuring out a way to help him despite having no fucking clue where to start just does something to me. the things they carried kind of collectively fucked up my entire friend group in high school. this is me trying haunts me. tiny houses. oof. there are definitely more not-fic examples but i can't think of them atm bc i barely read anything besides fic lately.

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

maybe grief. i have a hard time putting the small quiet moments of loving someone into words. things that resonate with me personally are sometimes easier to write and sometimes harder, it just depends how i'm doing and what i'm writing.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

okay i'm gonna talk about shadow even though i'm not really actively writing it right now bc i've been thinking about it for REASONS and bc its my beefiest wip. its one of the million fics spawned by a buddie playlist you made me (MWAH!) inspired by one particular song on there. a very specific scene of baby eddie at a college party with his sister meeting a very out and very queer and slightly older buck and just losing his whole ass mind came to me on my work commute.

so basically the fic started with this mental image of buck in a crop top and glitter - you can see him here lovingly drawn by @demonlandline 😍😍😍 like the image was SO clear in my head and still is and i still can't believe i get to look at him eep

but then its sort of spiralled out into this much larger story of eddie exploring his queerness and facing the ideas of who he was supposed to be and i think i'm probably gonna project a lot of my catholic bullshit and thoughts about my own queerness and all the other reasons i am obsess about eddie into the story. and i think it will be a beast to write, because there will be some fun scenes and i'm planning for a lot of smut but there will be a lot of heavy shit too. so it'll be awhile before i can focus on it but. i'm excited about it.

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

i was really really nervous to write Q, because I'd never really fleshed out an OC before but mostly because they're nonbinary and i'm cis and i just didn't want to fuck up.

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice…what do you Know?

sex?! hah. there's a reason i'm so comfortable writing smut. 🤷🏻‍♀️ parenting. healthy communication and healthy romantic relationships. i guess i could write more about gardening or sewing or taking care of an iguana or cooking or any of my other weird/random experiences/interests but i don't think i've really worked any of that into my writing yet. i definitely know way too much about higher education in the us but i have no interest at all in writing about that :)

okay i skipped two bc this is hella long and i'm afraid tumblr will eat it before i can post

weird writer asks | ask me

#weird writer asks #ask grace #grace writes #shadow #poe tag

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otherportraits · 2 months

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Yikes!

I just read Alien Daughters Walk into the Sun by Jackie Wang and it made me so happy to see posts from Tumblr put into a book. Like it's something that I've always thought worthy of doing, but to actually see it done and popped up in the windows of my local bookshops is another thing. I think the immediacy of writing for Tumblr is something that we're told as writers to avoid. That is, you should instead take time to dwell and edit and construct a text. And yes, I know that largely this is how good novels and collections are made, but sometimes I think my best work comes from just dumping my thoughts all out onto a page. Because that's what I think. That's who I am. For me, that exactly summarises how I think. I'm tryna write some kind of novella/story atm and I am struggling. So maybe that's why I'm now like y'know what FUCK intention what comes out is what comes out. There has always been this thought that exists inside of me that is like I'll never be able to construct a piece of writing that I've planned. I'll never be able to plan what I write. I'll never be able to properly finish a piece of writing because before halfway I'll be like this is hot rubbish. Or I'll literally just start thinking I'm not gonna finish this and I won't. That is the practise though, pushing through despite every outward and inward signal telling you to stop and do something else. Which is also why I'm here, writing this down in the first place because I'm avoiding what I'm actually meant to working on. Yikes!

Plummeting down the text box though is a different feeling in entirety. This sudden, immediate writing fuels me, makes me feel unstoppable that I can just spill myself out here without knowing what the result will be. Looking back at the end of the paragraph being like these are the things that are actually on my mind. Sometimes Conor can pick up on a mood and ask what's up and I literally don't know how to say it because I don't know what it is. Sometimes my thoughts just float around my head and I try and try to grasp onto them, to turn them into something tangible that I can work with or ask others to help with, but I can never. They leave and I'm left with a head full of nothing, embarrassed that I'm so low without a way to communicate this without sounding like I'm turning into my Mother. Because that's where I've seen this vacant behaviour before, in my Mother as I'm talking to her in the passenger seat while she drives me to school, and she's nodding at the correct times but she's miles and miles away. She'll eventually admit she's thinking about something else. But more importantly there's incidents where she's in the middle of talking and will lose it, will lose the thought and it's impossible to get back. There's a few seconds of an attempt to remember, an embarrassed shake of the head, then finally an immediate task to distract herself from the idea that she's lost that thought. She'll usually go back to folding washing or reading a cookbook or leave the room entirely. It happens to me too, and it happens to my Mother, and it happened to her Mother. My Nana so bright and full of love but without her thoughts. I don't remember much of her when she was my Mother's age, but towards the end of her life she was without them entirely. What do dementia patients think about when they're alone? Do they reflect on their own lives or somebody else's? Do their thoughts become more external than internal? I worry my Mother is headed for this, and I worry that I am too.

So these posts are important because they are how I think. They document my thoughts, and I look back each time a couple of years later and go oh, I guess I did feel that way, because sometimes I genuinely do not remember. And without this form of writing, I would not remember. I'll have moved through it all without knowing how, without knowing where it is I have moved from, without remembering how to connect the dots.

#26-30

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lasnalgas · 2 months

Text

Yikes!

I just read Alien Daughters Walk into the Sun by Jackie Wang and it made me so happy to see posts from Tumblr put into a book. Like it's something that I've always thought worthy of doing, but to actually see it done and popped up in the windows of my local bookshops is another thing. I think the immediacy of writing for Tumblr is something that we're told as writers to avoid. That is, you should instead take time to dwell and edit and construct a text. And yes, I know that largely this is how good novels and collections are made, but sometimes I think my best work comes from just dumping my thoughts all out onto a page. Because that's what I think. That's who I am. For me, that exactly summarises how I think. I'm tryna write some kind of novella/story atm and I am struggling. So maybe that's why I'm now like y'know what FUCK intention what comes out is what comes out. There has always been this thought that exists inside of me that is like I'll never be able to construct a piece of writing that I've planned. I'll never be able to plan what I write. I'll never be able to properly finish a piece of writing because before halfway I'll be like this is hot rubbish. Or I'll literally just start thinking I'm not gonna finish this and I won't. That is the practise though, pushing through despite every outward and inward signal telling you to stop and do something else. Which is also why I'm here, writing this down in the first place because I'm avoiding what I'm actually meant to working on. Yikes!

Plummeting down the text box though is a different feeling in entirety. This sudden, immediate writing fuels me, makes me feel unstoppable that I can just spill myself out here without knowing what the result will be. Looking back at the end of the paragraph being like these are the things that are actually on my mind. Sometimes Conor can pick up on a mood and ask what's up and I literally don't know how to say it because I don't know what it is. Sometimes my thoughts just float around my head and I try and try to grasp onto them, to turn them into something tangible that I can work with or ask others to help with, but I can never. They leave and I'm left with a head full of nothing, embarrassed that I'm so low without a way to communicate this without sounding like I'm turning into my Mother. Because that's where I've seen this vacant behaviour before, in my Mother as I'm talking to her in the passenger seat while she drives me to school, and she's nodding at the correct times but she's miles and miles away. She'll eventually admit she's thinking about something else. But more importantly there's incidents where she's in the middle of talking and will lose it, will lose the thought and it's impossible to get back. There's a few seconds of an attempt to remember, an embarrassed shake of the head, then finally an immediate task to distract herself from the idea that she's lost that thought. She'll usually go back to folding washing or reading a cookbook or leave the room entirely. It happens to me too, and it happens to my Mother, and it happened to her Mother. My Nana so bright and full of love but without her thoughts. I don't remember much of her when she was my Mother's age, but towards the end of her life she was without them entirely. What do dementia patients think about when they're alone? Do they reflect on their own lives or somebody else's? Do their thoughts become more external than internal? I worry my Mother is headed for this, and I worry that I am too.

So these posts are important because they are how I think. They document my thoughts, and I look back each time a couple of years later and go oh, I guess I did feel that way, because sometimes I genuinely do not remember. And without this form of writing, I would not remember. I'll have moved through it all without knowing how, without knowing where it is I have moved from, without remembering how to connect the dots.

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captainmullin · 9 months

Note

Speak to me that good

Lore

HI ANON you dont understand I was awake at like 1 am thinking about the main story [insert the 'wants to infodump so bad' image]

spoilers for the newest msq chapters (165-172) and cw for blood/body horror (msq screenshots)

does anyone understand how insane i feel. there's SO much buildup for the main story, even way back in the nalhegrande arc - the Great Wall comes back and its revealed that it was supposed to stop the Otherworld invasion??? Tau'luk sacrifices himself and EVERYONE FORGETS HIM IMMEDIATELY AFTER. That's CRAZY to me (then of course the Mikaboshi and Tau'luk parallels)

The entire purpose of the Otherworlders is to rewrite reality to maintain their presence - they want to be freed from their curse (remember, they're Old As Balls /ref) and SOMEHOW THE CAPTAIN HAS THE SOUL? CORE? OF THE FIRST GOD IN THEM???

my guess is that all the Otherworlders want is to be returned back to their normal state as villagers - but how many years has it been? Can they even go back? Or do they just want revenge on the god that cursed them? ALSO HOW DID THE CAPTAIN GET THIS IN THEM.

Maxwell mentions that Lyria and Vyrn are the ones letting the Captain have the ability to be the Singularity, but if the soul of the 'first god' is within them, then wouldn't that render Lyria and Vyrn useless - granted, Lyria is literally keeping the Captain alive via their soul bond, but what if that never happened? - and Vyrn is just a tiny dragon atm

(I've forgotten what the specifics of the girl in blue/red dragon prophecy thing mentions, but there's SO MANY QUESTIONS I HAVE)

I REALLY want to make a gbf timeline, including the events because ARGHFRGGHFGF WHAT DOES IT MEAN CYGAMES

also i absolutely feel like more people need to read the main story. it makes me lose my mind and gives us so much more context as to why this is happening to us (if you're coming from reading the events, specifically like. the anniversary events) [dadmom i miss you]

anyway i had more thoughts but rn all i can think of is WHERE HELMSMAN. WHERE DID YOU HIDE HIM

#《 captain speaking! 》#《 anonymous 》#long post #im very sorry i have too many questions and not enough answers #I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER YEAR

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book-and-music-lover · 1 year

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12. do you ever have trouble focusing on writing? how do you get around that?

16. where is your favorite place to write?

17. what is your favorite line you’ve ever written?

37. when creating characters, what comes first: appearance, backstory, motivation, personality, something else?

38. how many stories do you work on at one time?

12. do you ever have trouble focusing on writing? how do you get around that?

HA boy do I. I’ve found something that works regularly for me is to have a bit of a habit when I sit down to write. And lately that habit is either instrumental music, or having the great British baking show playing in the background on low volume while I do 15 minute writing sprints. The sprints especially, are what force me to just sit down and have those dedicated writing minutes. But it’s a fickle thing, so it’s hard to stay focused all the time!

16. Where is your favorite place to write?

At home in my desk nook, looking out my window :) there’s a tree right in front of it so there’s always birds, and deer regularly come wandering just past the tree across my yard.

17. What is your favorite line you’ve ever written?

OOOOH okay the first one that came to mind is this but of dialogue: “We’ll fight them, you and I. And when the sun rises again, so will we.”

But it’s tied pretty evenly with this bit of dialogue: “I want to make you laugh when you’re wakin’ up first thing in the morning. I want to make you laugh just before you fall asleep, and every minute in between. And you know why? Because when you laugh, I know more flowers are growing in the cracks of your soul. And when I’m done with you, there’ll be nothing left but flowers where ashes once were.”

Both from completely different fics, mind. Different fandoms too. Which one is your favorite?

37. when creating characters, what comes first. appearance, backstory, motivation, personality, something else?

Oh motivation first, then backstory! But also, the character is pretty much already there, I just get to tweak bits of it until it fits the story I’m writing, especially if it’s an AU. Like I think of what I want to accomplish with the character, how I want them to change. That gives me their motivations, and then I create a backstory out of that!

38. How many stories do you work on at one time?

This really really depends. For the last year, I’ve been consistently writing a longfic. While I was writing that, I would take breaks whenever I began to get tired of it (like anywhere from a week to over a month), or wasn’t inspired for that particular story, and work on another side project (ie, a new idea that came to my head for a one shot that can be written in three days and published straight after). But like now, I’m not writing any long fics atm, and am only focused on this Avatrice beekeeper AU! It’s the only current thing I’m working on, even though there’s a bout a million other WIP’s sitting in the back gathering dust lol. I find that if I try to focus on too many at a time, I lose steam to write anything at all. My writing is better if I just focus entirely on one work at a time.

#these really make me think #thank you lol #ask games #answered asks

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