#Clay is a stoner | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

abstergo-industries-hr · 1 year

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Hi Abstergo….not family because this is my job

I’m on accident reports this week and….wow. Is having no sense of self-preservation a requirement to be at this company?

First, one of the ice machines is currently in service because, after losing the plastic scoop to get ice out, someone decided to use a glass instead. And broke the glass. Can you tell the difference between broken glass and bits of ice? No, you can’t, and that’s why it’s out of service.

Second…don’t do “adult” stuff in the conference room. You all know what I’m talking about, but I don’t want to trigger the IT filters. The furniture we have here is pretty damn cheap, and it’s going to break under you. I can’t say who is currently suffering from injuries….but believe me, I know. And I’m laughing.

Finally….look, I know meetings are boring. Even yours, Bree. But, seriously, don’t spike everyone’s food and drink to make it more interesting. It’s kind of illegal, and you’re guaranteed to not get the dosage right. No one likes a bad trip.

Anyway, I’m in paperwork hell this week. The only thing that’s keeping me going is a gift from a friend. Weed. It’s weed. Layla and I have “inherited” all of Becs’s weed now that she’s knocked up. I told her that maybe an occasional puff might mellow out any effects Hastings’s genes might have on the kid, and she threatened to give it all to Layla so….never mind. Here’s hoping for a very healthy baby that is 100% a clone of their mom.

- Clay, the “Intern.”

((Author’s Note: The broken glass incident actually happened at my IRL job several years ago. ))

#abstergo hr #from the desk of abstergo hr #parody account #assassin’s creed #abstergo #tw drugs #tw weed #clay kaczmarek #Clay is a stoner #so is Rebecca and Layla #except Rebecca is on a nine month break #or longer depending on how she feeds the baby #Clay and Shaun are the friends who trash each other but will defend the other if someone else trashes them

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doortotomorrow · 9 months

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RICHARD HARMON'S CHARACTERS - Clay (Margaux 2022)

#Margaux #Clay #Richard Harmon #richardharmonedit #laidback stoner!Richard is such an aesthetic

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graniteknight · 18 days

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Why not be introduced to the bold brave nexo knights of knighton! we have:

The potential stoner, (unclear 50/50 whether this is the case but he gives major stoner vibes)

The one who it’s a debate whether he is actually serious about his role as a knight.

The only one trustworthy of being in a kitchen, the others will make it explode.

The only sane member of the team who is the definition of major team leader. (because she’s the only one with a capable braincell)

Tne ACTUAL team leader, who is a tad bit mentally traumatised and also a possible stone monster? (it depends)

Please please PLEASE keep this one away from any sort of magical books, clouds or things that are a possible threat.

#nexo knights #the knights are no longer cisgener #nk anything shenanigans #lego nexo knights #clay moorington #nexo knights macy halbert #jestro #nexo knights axl #lance richmond #aaron fox #Man I think this is where I should just stop #yesterday it was bullying clay for being a straight white man.. today aaron is a stoner #what next? Lance being a raging fucking homo??

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graliceinwonderlandd · 2 years

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Kawaii Cake Style Computer Speakers!! 🍦🥞💖🍫🍰 now available on my site, you can choose the Kawaii character you’d like as well as the ‘drizzle’ flavour!

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satotorte · 3 months

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Ramen Ashtray / Trinket tray Appreciation :3 Now on Sale here

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zal-cryptid · 2 years

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If you are still drawing dc characters, may I suggest Odd Man?

DC characters - Odd Man

#dc characters #dc #dc comics #odd man #clay stoner #superhero #detective #clown #fan art #fanart #ask #dc heroes

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mydumbnamehere · 10 months

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Check 'em out. I painted them.

#clay #mushroom #cottagecore #stoner #autumn #cute #little #fun #craft

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evelikestoart · 1 year

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Ugh, I miss the days when I used to have an Etsy shop. I used to create handmade clay ashtrays, incense holders and sometimes even jewellery. But due to the pandemic and supplies becoming too expensive. I just couldn't keep up anymore. It broke my heart not to be able to live my dream of being a full-time artist but it was fun while it lasted. I hope maybe one day I will be able to do it again.

I just wanted to share dis wif u so we could admire them together <3

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living-carto0n · 1 year

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Please enjoy these Christmas thingies I have created

#made a thing #clay art #tiny clay things #tiny santa #autistic artist #rudolph #Rudolph the stoner reindeer #only mature bc of the deer

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gallawitchxx · 2 years

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beecy oh my god 😭 the props department did our lil baby bffs SO dirty. i mean, is it in character and on brand for the two of them to smoke out of a resin-stained swamp bong? oh yes. absolutely. but COME ON!! they’re smoking weed, not sucking on the tailpipe of a Ford F-150!!! the injustices never end 😭

hold on-- i need a moment to recover from "resin-stained swamp bong"..... 😭😂😂😂

beecy they really did!!!! 😭 i totally buy that that bong has been used by more people & for more drugs than anyone truly knows. like.... it has fucking seen some things. poor lil chem beaker looking guy. BUT i also feel like ian might be someone that likes to keep his water clean???? at least later in life. buys that special 420 cleaner & soaks all of their pieces. mickey thinks he's cooking dinner & is VERY disappointed to see their pots just filled with glass & gunk 😤

we will get justice through headcanons & fill-in fics ⚖️🖤🖕🏼😎

#beecy ily 🖤#stoner witchy pals 👯‍♀️🌱✨#we mostly smoke joints these days but we did just get a new clay piece on vacation?#it's name is literally 'jake'#we were also with a jake when we bought it #it felt right #anywayyyyy #stoner gallavich forever #ask bee #answered

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little-star-bun · 11 months

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⋆｡‧˚ʚ 𝙇𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙧 𝙀𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙚 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙥𝙩｡ 𝟮 ɞ˚‧｡⋆

because you all liked the first one so much, i have more for you <;33

warnings: 18+ Lesbian fanfiction!! Men and Minors DNI!! masturbation, low-key stalking, Ellie is a bottom, mentions of drug use;;

enjoy angels ♡♡

I do not own Ellie or anything associated with TLOU.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌𓆩♡𓆪﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

✎ ;;

Loser! Ellie is a stoner. She has joint butts littering her car and her room. She smokes after school, before work, after work. Pray for her lungs please.

She wants to smoke with you. She low key fantasizes about getting you high for the first time, to watch your eyes turn red and your lips form around the blunt.

She made a playlist and fills it with songs that remind her of you. She's so stereotypically lesbian it hurts.

She has at least a dozen drawings of you in her journal. Sometimes she'll sit in her car, watching you talk with your friends while she doodles you. Sometimes using your social media as references. But it's so sweet the way she adored every feature of yours :((

Like I mentioned last time, she definitely whimpers and begs. I love top! Ellie, but let's be honest, she's a total bottom. She loves to think of you touching her, eating her wet cunt. She genuinely has so many perverted thoughts of you. She wants you to take control of her, make her do anything to give yourself pleasure. Use her face to masturbate, please.

Not just that, but she watches porn thinking about you. She can't help it, she's just so in love. Loves to rub her needy cunt to videos of girls scissoring and cumming, thinking of how she could try it with you.

One day you had asked her if she finished the homework. You were out and hadn't had time to do it. Poor girl could hardly speak, handing you the answers before you could even finish asking.

Your words had played in her head for three days straight. "You're a life saver, Ellie!"

Later that night you even texted her.

[Thanks again! Seriously, I owe you one.]

She stared at the message, heart racing. Come on Ellie, say something clever!!

[No problem, I'll take you up on that one day!]

Nice.

[You're cute. Goodnight, Ellie.]

She had stared at the conversation for hours. She couldn't believe you had been so grateful to her that you texted.

She was so flustered that of course she had gotten hot and bothered, touching herself through her boxers at the way you called her cute.

Shes a gamer, duh, preferring open world rpg shooters. She's tried every cringe game at least once. Fortnight, World of Warcraft, Valorant. She loves GTA and RDD. Her perfect night is just sitting in her room, smoking a joint, playing on her XBOX. (XBOX is superior idc)

She did get the Sims, making a sim of you and then a sim of her. She made you two have a dog (she didn't even know if you liked dogs). And she makes them woohoo. Alot.

Definitely plays with mods and cc. She has wicked whims and basemental. Loves looking at your Sims tits and making them get high together.

And the drawings I've mentioned before? Half of them, you're half or fully naked. She loves to sketch your boobs, your curves. Makes her mouth water. She has no shame, she masturbates to them when she's done.

Her major is defined the arts. She loves to paint and draw and sculpt. She may not seem like it, but she's such an artistic person. Sometimes you'll see her walking around with clay or paint on her hands. It's honestly adorable :(( Thinks of your body as a work of art fs.

Def shops at Spencer's and Hot Topic. She's so fucking emo and cringe. Reddit user vibes.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌𓆩♡𓆪﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

My requests and asks are open!! I'm so bored, please send some!!

૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

#ellie smut #little-star-bun #loser Ellie #Ellie Williams #Ellie Williams is so cute i wish she was real #Tlou Headcanons #Ellie is my girlfriend actually #Lesbian Ellie #Lesbians #Wlw smut

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am3ricanh0rrorwh0re · 22 days

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MASTERLIST

FICS

AHS:

Tate Langdon - To Hell And Back

Kit Walker - coming soon

Kyle Spencer - Living Dead Boy

Jimmy Darling - none

James Patrick March - coming soon

Rory Monahan - none

Edward Phillipe Mott - none

Kai Anderson - Excommunication

Jeff Pfister - Model

Malcolm Gallant - none

Austin Sommers - coming soon

OTHERS:

Alex (adult world) - Stoner Thoughts

Peter Maximoff - Break Up and Make Out , Bitch , Overstimulated

Warren Lipka - Don’t Be A Prude

Cooper Day - Scar Tissue

Stan Bowes - coming soon

Charles Decker - coming soon

Colin Zabel - none

Clay Wilson - none

Todd Haynes - none

Max Cooperman - none

Seth Wosmer - none

Luke Cooper - coming soon

Dwight Chapin - none

Oliver McDaniel - none

HEADCANONS

Tate Langdon Headcanons Tate’s Student Headcanons

Cult Leader Kai Headcanons

Frat Kyle Headcanons

Peter Maximoff Headcanons 1 & 2

Jeff Pfister Headcanons

(i’ll update as i go !! all characters under 18 will be sfw fics/headcanons)

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roryzlittles1ut · 4 months

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CLAY MOTHER FUCKING ROACH HEAD CANONS! (I’m sorry..I need him so bad. I love my little junkie)

SFW:

Smokes weed with you. Because Clay is a junkie and a stoner, he has a lot of weed. When I say a lot, I mean a LOT. He’ll have a whole bucket of bags of weed. Usually he doesn’t want you smoking too much, just enough to get you a little stoned.

He loves wearing oversized sweaters. (Idk I just thought this was relatable-)

A huge snuggle boy. Yall could just lay in bed all day, smoke some weed, and cuddle. Thats it.

ADULT CARTOONS. Clay loves watching adult cartoons with you, he’ll even chuckle a bit if something funny happens.

“Hm, he got stabbed in the dick. Ha, loser.”

Randomly talks about things. You and Clay could be talking about something random, and he’ll just say something out of the blue. He mostly does this when he’s stoned.

“I wonder if weed can be turned into paper.” (IDFK ITS RANDOM OKAY?)

I feel like he would be that type of boyfriend to have a random picture of you in his pocket every day.

NSFW:

Clay loves watching you ride his cock, listening to your moans as his cock disappears in and out of you. He thinks it’s so hot when you do that.

“Oh god..yes! Fucking ride my cock like a slut!”

High sex. Like I said, Clay doesn’t like you getting too out of there, so he mostly gets the most high. He’ll fuck you the longest when he’s high, he won’t stop after a few orgasms.

He would grunt. There.

9 inches. I’m telling you when you would be shocked, you will be shocked. He might be a stoner, but he’s definitely packing.

Fem! Let this man eat you out. Lemme tell you, you’re gonna be in heaven if you do. He’s an expert at it.

Male! Clay might have a bit of a problem sucking your cock, but he’ll get the hang of it in no time. He’s a fast learner.

When he’s about to cum, he’ll groan and grunt. He won’t even let out any moans, trust me.

“F-fuck..I’m gonna cum. Let me cum inside of you, please.”

#rory culkin #clay roach #he’s so pookie #pls give me a chance #i love him sm.

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moralorelconfessions · 1 year

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Wonder what would have happened where instead of Clay being an alcoholic, he was just a stoner

#moral orel confessions #moral orel #clay puppington

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graliceinwonderlandd · 1 year

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The cutest herb grinder you’ll ever buy and it’s fully customisable too 🥹😭💖

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satotorte · 2 years

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Kawaii Grinders 💖!

#kawaii #stoner #soft stoner #stoner art #grinder #girls who smoke #Steven universe #pastel aesthetic #frog cake #frog core #cottage core #kawaii core #polymer clay #decoden #ashtray art #kush babe

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