#Dedus coming in with the self-burn

[glowingbadger]

Which of the Three Houses guys will watch their beloved go off on an enemy and have the reaction of "Well mark me down as scared AND horny", do you think?

Ahh, see my dear Friend Anon, this is a nuanced spectrum- but I'll do my best to break it down as I see it:

Scared and Horny:

Claude - has enough common sense to be scared, but definitely hot-blooded enough to be horny about it. A beautiful balance, frankly, though he may tease you about how wild you were.

Raphael - soooo close to qualifying for the "just horny" category, but he is a sweet boy and still wants to check to be sure you're alright (mentally, emotionally, physically) after the battle.

Ignatz - soooo close to qualifying for the "just scared" category lmao. However, as you all know, I see our boy Ignatz as very repressed and very kinky, and seeing you be so powerful and passionate definitely stirs some part of him.

Ferdinand - practically the poster-boy for "scared and horny" tbh; he feels sheepish about it, but he just can't help how your strength and force of will arouse him.

Seteth - also strangely close to the "just horny" category, not that he wants to admit it; seeing you like this really awakens something primal in him from far in his past. Still, his concern for you is ever-present and ultimately pushes aside how entrancing you look conquering your foes so thoroughly.

Sylvain - I almost don't know how to elaborate on this one because, I mean, of course, right? Of course Sylvain is worried, but also just burning inside watching you flushed in the face, damp with sweat, muscles tight, hair wild.......

Just Scared:

Lorenz - oscillating wildly between worried for you and worried for every person around you. Definitely impressed, don't get me wrong- he appreciates battle prowess. But if you're really going berserk, he's worried.

Dedue - while he's likely right there beside you in the fight, he worries about seeing you get particularly aggressive. He's seen what bloodlust has done to the other most valued person in his life, and never wants to see you go too far down that path.

Ashe - it's not as though he can't stomach violence, he just feels that there's a certain responsibility and necessity for rules of engagement when it comes to combat, hence his proclivity for chivalry. Seeing you completely lose yourself worries him, and he'll want to be with you and hold you and make sure you're okay as soon as he can.

Just Horny:

Hubert - I feel like this is more or less self explanatory lmao. Though he does still hope you'll be rational and not do anything unnecessarily risky while eviscerating your foes.

Caspar - again, an obvious choice. Honestly, I think Caspar wants to fuck after just about every battle you two come back from, provided neither of you is hurt too badly.

Jeritza - this is the most obvious one so far lol. Though, when he's more 'himself,' he does silently worry about you sharing in his bloodshed and provoking the Death Knight part of him.

Felix - honestly, it's probably even fiercer than Hubert or Caspar; the lust he feels for you in the heat of battle is both primal and nearly spiritual. This is about his whole life philosophy, after all. After a particularly tough and gruesome fight, he wants nothing more than to absolutely ravage you (and might need to be talked down if he has wounds to attend to first)

Outliers:

Linhardt - ideally, he is not present, as the sight of you "going off" on an enemy is likely to involve waaaaay more blood than he's comfy with. He'll definitely tend to you afterward, and wryly scold you for going overboard (secretly, he was super worried when he heard from your comrades of how ferocious you were out there)

Dimitri - he's in different categories depending on where he's at in his arc tbh. Feral Dimitri is obviously just horny about you diving into the bloodshed with him, while "redeemed" Dimitri has some measure of restraint about it

Yuri - it's more like "amused/impressed and horny," tbh. Though he never looses his head about it- he's still keeping a close eye on you to make sure nothing goes awry. But he won't deny that he enjoys watching, nonetheless.

#fire emblem #fe3h #few3h #not sfw #fire emblem thirst posting #fire emblem three houses #fire emblem x reader #fire emblem headcanons #fe3h x reader #lorenz hellman gloucester #claude von reigen #raphael kirsten #ignatz victor #hubert von vestra #ferdinand von aegir #caspar von bergliez #linhardt von hevring #jeritza von hrym #seteth #yuri leclerc #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #felix hugo fraldarius #sylvain jose gautier #ashe ubert

[isan0rt]

I saw your Dedue post you made recently and OMG THANK YOU SOMEONE HAD TO SAY IT. I’d love to message you further about your other 3houses opinions cause gd your mind.

Honestly like lmao I wasn't specifically trying to call anyone out in particular but it's so so so hard to find interpretations of Dedue that like. Actually consider that perhaps he has complex reasons for talking about himself like he does before the time skip, that rationally follow from his experiences and aren't just like, oh he's got such poor self esteem. Dedue's not Bernadetta, he's as assertive as it's safe for him to be given PEOPLE EXPLICITLY WANT TO KILL HIM for just fucking existing.

If Dimitri wasn't protecting him he would have gotten straight up murdered well before he learned to tank as hard as he tanks, and that's not even counting that first time Dimitri intervened in people actively trying to murder Dedue after successfully murdering his family for the crime of Existing While From Duscur. Like, hello!!!! He's been isolated from his community, from his language, from his culture, surrounded by people who hate him, but with nowhere else to go. Literally everyone else he knew died and his homeland was burned to the ground.

Dimitri is the only person in the WORLD who wants him to live. Of course he's neurotic as fuck about Dimitri. Dimitri is literally all he has left in the world to cling to, and people keep trying to kill Dimitri! It's 100% reasonable for Dedue before the timeskip to feel like he has fucking nothing if he doesn't have Dimitri. Objectively that's true!!!

Like, after the timeskip, he comes back having spent time back among his own people, seeing that his culture isn't gone and he does have something to fight to preserve. He survives because his community comes to save him. He comes back wearing VERY expensive full-body armor (like for real that's absurd amounts of steel and master craftsmanship) with Duscur's motif enameled on the pauldrons, wearing Duscur-woven clothing and accompanied by a whole group of his countrymen fighting alongside him to reach Dimitri. His post-timeskip design screams that he's been reintegrated into his home culture. Of course he's in a better place after that!

None of his emotional development happens in a vacuum! Dedue struggles with his self-worth when he's cut off from his community, and is able to self-actualize only after reconnecting with his community. Azure Moon has so many themes about community healing after trauma, and about relying on support in order to lift all boats together. All the Lions start the game fractured and damaged because of the breakdown of the social contract in Faerghus and improve through Azure Moon by banding together and healing the fractured relationships. Dedue can't be his best self when he's isolated from his roots. Ignoring that I feel like really misses the themes Dedue brings to the table.

#sorry i guess i still had a lot of thoughts about this #Dedue is so critical to understanding the themes of Azure Moon #and i just feel like he gets written off and there's a lack of diving in to his emotional landscape #like. WHY does he feel that way. it's not just for no reason!! #Dedue embodies the core themes of community healing and growth and roots #Very literally in some ways through his motif of tending a garden #cultivating new life from the seeds left behind in the ashes #the flowers are a metaphor!!! Carefully helping Duscur heal and bloom from new growth is his goal!! #you have to grapple with the way race impacts his character to understand him #he's a challenging and complex character and that's valuable actually #Dedue Molinaro #fe3h

[usaigi]

blurb from the upcoming chapter (go read it, modern dimileth royalty au). Byleth is not calling Felix a double colonizer, she's a sweet girl.

I, however

Also since I'm here, author's note/inside my brain time.

I did not come up with Wasian Felix, I've seen this headcanon around the fandom for a minute. But it's one of my favorite fandom hcs. It makes a lot of sense for him as a character and it also add diversity into the story which it really does need. I understand why a game that takes place in the 12th century fake Europe only has 6(?) (Dedue, Claude, Petra, Cyril, Shamir, Hapi) POC but it's fanfic, I can do whatever I want. I have never been part of an all white friend group and I'm not write about that in my self indulgent little fanfic.

Felix also just has biracial kid having an identity struggle™ energy. Hating your homeland is not exclusive to biracial/multicultural/immigrant kids but I do think it's different than when you're part of the majority ethnic group. Felix does not hate Faerghus, no matter what he says. I think he's been burned. As an immigrant kid I deeply relate to that. I don't hate the US, I'm just so very bitter. If I could, I'd tell it to go fuck itself and move somewhere sunny and fun (which I did) but it will always be home. Felix may hate and curse Faerghus, but he still very much cares.

I know other fanfic writers have that he's half Dagdan or Hoshidan to avoid using real world countries. I didn't do that because there's so many dudes I wanted to make POC and it's was honestly just easier for me to use our world.

Anyways. Usaigi AU canon. Rodrigue is half Japanese but grew up in England in the 70s/80s so adamant about being British. Married another Japanese-British women and had Glenn and Felix. And while they tried to stay connected to their Japanese heritage, it became especially difficult after Rodrigue's wife passed since he spend so much of his life trying to assimilate. Felix proceeds to grow up feeling like an outsider in high british society and in his own friend group. Sylvain tries to relate to him cuz he's also mix (half Argentinean) but he's still white. He doesn't get it. At least he has Glenn. And then Glenn dies. Then he has no one. The one person who should understand him says the worst thing ever and it just crushes him.

#he loves Yakiniku #fe3h #dimileth #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #byleth eisner #felix fraldarius #fire emblem three houses #three houses #fe16

[incorrect-hylics-quotes]

Dedusmuln: Wayne...you, your family, and us do not have “chaotic energy”. We are a bunch of young adults to middle-aged adults with mild boundary issues.

#incorrect quotes #incorrectquotes #incorrect hylics #hylics #hylics 2 #hylics2 #hylics game #hylicsgame #hylics meme #hylicsmeme #hylics memes #hylicsmemes #wayne #wayne hylics #waynehylics #hylics wayne #hylicswayne #dedusmuln #Waynes are only neurotypical from the perspective of their own species. #Dedus coming in with the self-burn

[fireemblems24]

Ao3 Ship Thoughts

To sate my desire to read Three Houses fan fiction and jump in on the shipping comments that have upticked recently, I decided to see what ships were the most popular on Ao3.

Some of it's exactly what I expected, and one in particular is just . . . what, why?

Ao3 is probably the closest you'll get to truly determining which ships are the most popular, or at least have the highest number of passionate fans. So I was curious to see who the top ships were. Here's the ones listed, in order:

Sylvain/Felix

Dimitri/Byleth

Edelgard/Byleth

Ferdinand/Hubert

Claude/Byleth

Dimitri/Felix

Dimitri/Claude

Felix/Annette

Caspar/Linhardt

Hilda/Marrianne

If I exclude the Byleth ships, Dimitri/Dedue, Byleth/Seteth, and Ingrid/Sylvain take up the three missing spots.

Byleth's Ships

I'm shocked. Really, truly shocked that Byleth/Lord is popular. Never wouldn't guessed. I am, of course, being sarcastic. If someone asked me to list who I think would show up in the top 10 most popular ships, the first three I'd list would be Byleth/Lord.

What I find more interesting is that Byleth/Seteth is the fourth option for Byleth. AO3 writers, I officially bow to your taste. It pleases me quite a bit that, if you're not going with one of the main lords, you all want Seteth. This I can agree with.

As for the Byleth/Lord ships, I feel kind of mixed on them. Every lord interacts with characters who have more depth than Byleth, but I still get the appeal. I'm going to deep dive into all of the lords relationships with Byleth later, but here's a quick summary.

Edelgard/Byleth is shoved down your throat so hard it's nearly impossible to ship Edelgard with someone else and even shortchanges her potential to have deep, non-romantic relationships because Edelgard puts Byleth on a pedestal that no one else can reach by her own dialogue.

Byleth's character arc works well alongside Dimitri's. While the relationship is pushed and fanservice-y scenes exist, the game leaves enough breathing room to see Byleth as a mentor/therapist/teacher figure, and Dimitri has no shortage of deep, meaningful relationships with others should you not want to do the whole self-insert thing. It's a good balance.

Claude and Byleth are the opposite of Edelgard and Byleth. They read almost more like friends than lovers. It's a breath of fresh air, honestly. Claude/Byleth seems like the healthiest possible romance for Byleth/lord because the lord in question here doesn't seem as dependent. That said, it lacks lacks romance and shipping fuel. I may complain about fanservice, but the Byleth/Claude dynamic does show why scenes of holding hands in the rain and teasing about badly drawn images might actually come in handy.

Edelgard's Ships

I'm not surprised, at all, that Edelgard has no popular ships outside of Byleth. Dialogue consistently shortchanges Edelgard's relationships with others by having her verbally, repeatedly put Byleth into a special "other" that no one else can reach for her.

Though, I guess I'm a bit surprised at the extreme lack of Edelgard/Hubert. I feel these two have a lot of shipping fuel and their supports left things unresolved. I've come across the sentiment in fandom many times that ship where things are tied off nicely with a bow leave less to explore and aren't as interesting, so I am bummed out no one seems interested in fleshing out Hubert/Edelgard more.

The outlook for Edelgard fanfic and me seems pretty limited. I don't like Edelgard/Byleth for various reasons beyond this scope of this post. I was kind of hoping there were some Edelgard/Hubert or Edelgard/Dorothea character study stuff that could help me get past how much Byleth gets in the way of Edelgard's character growth, but it seems fanfic writers only want to write about her and Byleth, which is a bummer.

On that note, I'm also surprised but also glad that Dimitri/Edelgard isn't a big thing. I thought it might be because tragedy of childhood friends turned enemies by events out of their control is popular. These two seem wildly incompatible though, so I'm glad people seem to agree.

Claude's Ships

Ok. Claude/Byleth. Expected. I'm feel positively towards the ship since they seem mostly good for each other even if it's not getting my heart all fluttering.

I'm surprised there's no Claude/Petra or Claude/Hilda. Those two are my personal favorites for him. I would've given Claude/Petra the edge given how they can uniquely relate to each other, but Hilda's scene in CF really gave Petra a run for her money. Even more so that Petra and Claude have obligations to two different nations and Hilda has no such complication.

But whattttt???? Claude/Dimitri? It's in the top 10?? More people ship Dimitri with Claude than Dedue?? I thought lord/lord might be popular, but I honestly thought Dimitri/Edelgard would take it, not Claude/Dimitri. They never really talk. So I'm a bit confused about this one. Though, intrigued by the idea.

Can I take a wild guess this partly stems from Claude having no real other viable M/M ships outside of M!Byleth and fics that plays up the chapter I'm about to play in AM (Dimitri saving Claude) or "what ifs" VW routes where Dimitri doesn't . . . you know.

I am really curious about this dynamic though. Because I like Claude - a lot. He's a character I want to get attached to. From experience, the fastest way for me to like a character is to give them a significant relationship I enjoy with a character I already love and the new character gets absorbed by proxy. So, fans, please, tell me more about this Dimitri/Claude. I am curious.

Dimitri's Ships

I am as unsurprised by Dimitri's being one of the biggest repeat offenders on here as I am by Edelgard being Byleth or bust. If Edelgard is written to fanservice the player by making the self-insert her one and only, Dimitri is fanservicing the player by being a shipping magnet. The writers knew what they were doing and who they were trying to appeal to with these two characters.

Dimitri/Byleth is a given. The game plays up the romance angle, but it's not at the expense of Dimitri's other relationships.

What I'm more interested in, though, is Felix/Dimitri. Between angsty CF stories, post-AM slow-burns, or fleshing out missing scenes from their shared childhood, there's just a lot to work with and a rich context to use their relationship - spun romantically - to explore each character. Felix and Dimitri's relationship is layered, complicated, heart breaking, and potentially healing. The fact they're two incredibly attractive guys doesn't hurt its popularity either, I'm sure. I'm not surprised it ranked that highly.

Claude/Dimitri surprises me. If two lords were going to get on this list together, I would've put bets on Edelgard/Dimitri. Since Claude and Dimitri's relationship is fairly unexplored, I'm really interested to see more about what exactly this is about. Don't get me wrong. I figured people would pair two main characters who are that good looking together, I just didn't think it would rank that high.

I am, slightly sad, that Dimitri/Dedue isn't a bit higher, but happy it seems to have some steam. I get it though. Dedue's not as flashy as some of the others on the shipping list and their relationship is so full of fluff by their A support it lacks the angst Felix/Dimitri and Dimitri/Byleth can draw out nor is as much of a play around with "what ifs" as Claude/Dimitri is.

Non-Lords/Main Characters Ships:

This list, more than anything else, shows AO3's penchant for writing M/M and F/F works for better or worse. Whether this phenomena stems from lack of representation, fetishizing by the fanbase, deeply ingrained gender roles making fictional M/F ships either less appealing to many fanfic writers, or M/F romances often getting assumed leading to less substantial writing compared to friendships - I don't know. Probably all of it.

There are a few surprises here for me. Felix/Sylvain is that popular? I figured they'd make the top 10, but #1 is surprising. Though, looking through the first page of the tag, it's true Felix/Sylvain have fics just for them, but it also seems like a common pairing in Dimitri/Byleth and Dimitri/Claude fics. It's the same story with Caspar/Linhardt, who I honestly didn't expect to see. They had a fair number of their own fics, but it seems many CF fics put them together rather than focus solely on them. Felix/Annette also balances being the main focus and an adjunct pairing. Marianne/Hilda seemed to have less fics where they took center stage and more they were one of many ships listed.

Ferdinand/Hubert having a lot of fics isn't surprising. I don't really care too much for it personally, but I can see the appeal of it.

I'm surprised Catherin/Shamir is nowhere in sight. Likewise, Rhea is absolutely nowhere. Kind of sad by the lack of adult characters in general. Especially Rhea. I think it's a pretty big sign of how the writing's treated her that such an important character is totally absent in this list.

Not surprised at all to see Felix also get so many ships. He, like Dimitri, seems designed on purpose to ship with many characters. I do really wish Dorothea and Seteth would get more attention though.

What do you guys think? Anything that surprised you? How do you feel about any of these ships and there popularity or lack thereof? Are there characters/pairings you wish got more attention? Any popular ships you despise (spill that tea)?

#fire emblem three houses #fe3h #fe16 #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #claude von reigen #tagged them because I want to get people who ship Claude and Dimitri to see this and talk to me about that

[kendrixtermina]

It REALLY annoys me when ppl single out Edelgard as the one who ‘needs the MC’.

Edelgard carries through her plan wether Byleth is there or not; She’s just less lonely, can do more stuff like she actually wants to, and may escape without dying in the process, but she was fine with being an unsung hero/dying for her goals & her goals are at least partially  accomplished (slitherers & Rhea removed from positions of power, more competent ruler); If she wanted to escape alive Dimitri & Claude would probably have let her go. But she got what she wanted & went out on her own terms.

 Likewise, Claude can survive everything and even  ‘win’ in both AM and CF. (what he wants is a more stable Fodlan, a ruler interested in peace with Almyra and to get the Alliance out as unscathed as possible, & he mostly gets that. Slightly less so in Silver Snow.) It’s just that in VW he is much more successful, he gets all the answers he wanted & was able to grow a bit less cynical. 

The one who really crashes & burns without Byleth there is Dimitri. He’s not really acting out of values or a plan but just reacting to his emotions & misguided sense of duty & only in Azure Moon does he get to a point where he is doing deliberate action that actually produce the results he wants/truly cares about. 

And don’t get me wrong: That is in part ‘cause the deck is really stacked against him both through the chaos in his country & his personal situation, and like, I get that it’s part of the appeal; AM is supposed to be an underdog story & a lot of the catharsis comes from finally giving the poor guy a break. (and Dedue, too! ...and Gilbert I guess but he’s not typically the one ppl are excited about) 

And i mean, needing/accepting help is only human. 

But like, maybe Edelgard has a few moments where she’s really glad to have someone to tell her doubts to,  and because she’s very self-critical once you get to know her & has kind of been in doubt about her own humanity since the procedures she’ll underestimate what she might’ve done on her own. 

But... have you even SEEN Claude’s support chain? It’s ALL gushing. In Dimitri’s case it’s more in the plot cutscenes, and veeery blushy too (as Dude!Byleth/Dimitri shippers correctly point out all the time) I’d say that Claude’s mindset is actually changed very profoundly. In Edelgard’s case she tries to convince/recruit you the whole time & you need to explicitly choose to join/back her (twice!) to even unlock her route. There isn’t actually a single scene where Edelgard wants to do some drastic thing & Byleth talks her down from it (unlike in Azure Moon which is filled to the brim with such scenes)... instead you get the A support where they’re both mutually jelly at each other’s stronger points. Besides in the dialogue there’s all this emphasis on how she’s finally found someone who measures up to her as an equal, they’re evenly matched in the SS reunion cutscene, she’d designed as an obvious foil/rival with similar powers/background & basic personality as Byleth etc... whereas with Dimitri you stay in the ‘mentor’ role the whole time.Uunless you marry him but then you’re defs the Big Spoon despite the actual sizes. (Claude meanwhile is explicitly the mastermind post timeskip; Byleth works for him & he’s trying to subtly bring them around to his more enlightened way of thinking & tip them off about Rhea)

So why is Edelgard singled out? Could it be... tits... XX chromosomes... nah, these days everyone knows that Gender is actually in your hypothalamus. Or is it just that phenomenon where ppl don’t want to see ppl they think of as enemy carricatures doing normal human things? Imma be charitable and assume it’s that. 

Corollary: Claude gets sort of the reverse treatment with ppl pidgeonholing him as “the always chill one” who “does fine on his own” & downplaying his arc in Verdant Wind. Granted, he’s the one who has living parents that were ostensibly positive influences, but he had a super fucked up life too & it affected him deeply as well. The man probably sleeps with a knife under his pillow, ppl. Like he plays a lot more defensively & opportunistic on the other routes, & laments not cracking the mysteries. He always had that hidden side to him that’s actually idealistic dreamy & even romantic but he doesn’t let that out until he grows to have more faith in VW. 

#fe3h #fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #fire emblem: three houses #three houses #claude von riegan #khalid of almyra #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #edelgard von hresvelg

[butwhatifidothis]

Sacrifice for the Three Lords

So. Got curious about something.

Curious thing got long lol, under the cut

The word sacrifice has a very loaded, very intentional feel to it. For something to be sacrificed, it must be considered less than whatever it is being sacrificed for, whether in the moment or in the long term - it’s the logical conclusion to the act itself. Even if regret for that choice can come later, at the time you are sacrificing whatever is being sacrificed, it is considered less (for example, spending an hour of your time for a stupid meme post you spent too much time on, for a light-hearted start. In hindsight you might think it was stupid or not worth it, but at the time of bungling around in photoshop you considered the time lost as a worthwhile sacrifice to your end product).

With that in mind, how do the three lords view sacrifice? When is it mentioned in their routes? When do they themselves mention it, and what are they pertaining to when they do? I want to focus on the word “sacrifice” specifically, due to the already mentioned connotations and meaning attached to this word in particular

We’ll start with Claude, with his route’s first mention of the word sacrifice being, and I’m not kidding, post ts, at Ailell

What is being sacrificed here is Claude’s independence from Judith. He is expressing a want to not rely on Judith’s help once again but needing to give up that want in order to move on with his goals of winning the war. This is something that he alone is sacrificing with no involvement or need of sacrifice from anyone else - he is the only one losing something from this sacrifice.

The next mention is from Hubert’s letter

The sacrifice being mentioned belongs to Edelgard. Hubert is stating that Edelgard has made sacrifices that must be honored, heavily implying that they were necessary for her goals if they hold such importance as to keep that importance beyond the grave to be passed by those who have defeated her. Claude himself is not sacrificing anything, nor does he state any agreeance to the phrasing used here, but he has said earlier that her methods use too much bloodshed for people to rally behind, implying a disagreeance. 

This is the last time the word sacrifice is used in direct relation to Claude. When it comes to all that has happened to others, Claude specifically does not refer to it as something like a sacrifice that he is making.

Though that does not the word is not used further in VW. Dorothea, in VW:

The sacrifice being made here is deliberate and willing on the part of Count Bergliez. He is making the consenting, thoughtful decision to sacrifice himself because he views his men’s lives as more important than his own, and it is implied that his doing so achieved the desired outcome (the safety of his men). He came to this decision by himself, with no outside force making him do this (outside of the circumstances that prompted it - no one person made him do this). The act of sacrificing yourself for the lives of others is portrayed in a explicitly “positive” light coated in tragedy and even then only if it achieved its goal 

Lastly, for unique mentions on VW, Annette:

Forced sacrifice is seen as something painful. The making of circumstances where sacrifices must be made outside of the will of those making it is portrayed in a explicitly negative light that is sought to be rid of. 

In VW, Claude himself never refers to the loss of life as a sacrifice, and only ever refers to something as a sacrifice when it is him making it in a way that does not affect others. Sacrifice of life is only referred to as “positive” when either 1) Hubert, an amoral character who cannot be part of VW, makes mention of it, or 2) it is the singular sacrifice of one person’s life that they made of their own volition in order to save others, and even then it is portrayed in its context and in later contexts as a tragic event nonetheless

Next: AM

The first mention of the word sacrifice for AM - or in this case, BL - is after Lonato: 

The word sacrifice is not brought up by Dimitri. Byleth says that the loss of life must be accepted, the result of which is explicit denial from Dimitri of the supposed importance of sacrificing civilians. Sacrifice of life -and the direct phrasing of it as a sacrifice - is explicitly portrayed as bad in the eyes of Dimitri; he does not believe that life ought to be sacrificed to achieve one’s goals

Next time, post ts:

The sacrifice of lives is directly, verbatim described as needless. The concept of the idea of lives being less worthy than a cause is explicitly called wrong. Human life is given more value than any goal.

Note how this is a direct reference to his behavior in VW, where he sacrifices his life as well as those around him - save for Dedue, whom Dimitri not sacrificing is what allows VW’s story to continue (due to Dedue providing the blueprints to the throne room for the Alliance army to navigate through). Dimitri’s choice to deliberately not have Dedue sacrifice his life is a positive to the overarching story of VW, while his indifference to the now explicitly needless sacrifice others’ make of their own lives for his personal cause is portrayed in a negative light

And while we’re talking of Gronder (note, this also appears in VW and thus also applies to VW):

Ignatz’s further implies that the sacrifice made at Gronder does not mean anything - it is senseless, and without purpose. It must be given meaning after the fact; it holds nothing in and of itself, as it did not bring about its desired outcome

Next, Catherine:

Sacrifice of the self is seen in an understanding light while simultaneously being seen as something that ought to be avoided. It is also something that is shown to be something that must be up to the individual to decide for themselves, though is regardless seen as something that likely should be talked out of doing

Last for AM, Felix:

The voluntary, willing sacrifice of one’s own life, for the betterment of others, is portrayed as something “positive” that must be repaid by those which the sacrifice was made for. It is not something that can be morally justified in forgetting after the fact - the repayment needs to be made in order for the sacrifice to be “positive.” The intended outcome of the sacrifice must be fulfilled in order for it to be seen as good.

In AM, sacrifice is continuously referred to negatively. Dimitri outright denies the possibility of necessary sacrifices, and the only way sacrifices are seen in a “positive” is if they are 1) willing made by the person sacrificing themselves and/or 2) the desired outcome of the sacrifice is definitively achieved, with the latter stipulation still having caveats that prevent it from ever truly being seen as positive (Count Rowe)

Lastly: CF

Edelgard mention the word sacrifice the same time as Dimitri first does, after Lonato:

Sacrifice of life is seen as a necessity. Edelgard views sacrifice as something that cannot be avoided, and as such, she has no qualms in sacrificing her people’s lives to achieve her goals. She views her cause as having an inherit superiority over the lives of the people. 

Next, during the invasion of Garreg Mach (once you’ve settled on CF as a route):

Sacrifice of human life is once again seen as a necessity for Edelgard to achieve her goals. She states that she will not stop no matter how much blood she spills for her cause. The sacrifice of life is involuntary to those making the sacrifice, and yet it is seen as something that will lead to a positive outcome. The cause is given greater importance over human life.

Next, post ts, before Claude is fought:

The want to not sacrifice own’s life for their cause is seen as a negative. The idea of attempting to save one’s own life at the prospect of certain defeat is questioned in its rationality. There is a lack of understanding in the idea of not sacrificing one’s self to the cause - this is further shown in Edelgard’s death in all other routes, which is caused directly due to her unwillingness to give up her greater cause. She views her own human life as having less importance than her goals, which is consistent with her ideology of sacrificing everything for the greater good.

Notice the other two mentions of the word sacrifice in CF

Linhardt, at the final chapter (which appears in all routes, mind, but since he does default as a BE I feel it pertinent to include within the CF section):

Sacrifice is seen as a sign of desperation. The idea of sacrificing human lives for a greater cause is no longer comforting or a good enough justification. It being described as “depend[ent] on a throw of the dice” directly implies no control from the one(s) sacrificing their lives. 

And the last mention is from Rhea, during the last battle, referring to Rhea burning down Fhirdiad:

Sacrifice is being actively questioned. Edelgard’s reaction to Rhea forcibly sacrificing lives showcases the act as negative. Rhea, in all other routes, is one of Edelgard’s sacrifices she makes for her cause, and now Rhea’s mirroring of sacrificing the people’s lives for what she believes is right is being shown in a explicitly negative light. This is not Edelgard growing to realize that sacrificing human life is wrong as she does not reflect on her own doing so when she criticizes Rhea for the same thing.

In CF, when it is Edelgard speaking of sacrifice, it is always seen as a necessity - something that must be done in order to achieve change. Edelgard actively forces sacrifice on the people due to her believing that her desired outcome cannot be made without it, and so she makes little effort to mitigate this involuntary, large-scale sacrifice. 

But, when similar ideals of the value of human life against one’s own cause is applied to those which oppose her, she no longer sees it as morally justifiable to sacrifice the lives of the people, despite her own willingness to do the same. When sacrifice is seen through the lens of someone other than Edelgard, the idea of sacrificing lives for the greater cause is no longer enough to justify it. 

In contrast to Claude and Dimitri, who do not view such sacrifice as a necessity and thus do not attempt to justify it/force it upon others (except when Dimitri explicitly is doing something wrong, as directly stated by the game), Edelgard cannot fathom the possibility of being unable to sacrifice human life and achieving her goals at the same time. In contrast to Claude and Dimitri, who hold human life above their goals (except when Dimitri explicitly is in the wrong), Edelgard holds her goals above human life. Human life - including her own - has less worth than her goals, thus making it acceptable to sacrifice.

And, well. Considering that people are still being killed in most of Hubert’s endings due to all of the revolts and rebellions against Edelgard’s abrupt, violent, bloody rule rising up, the commonfolk are still not able to receive titles/military credits unless they marry into families which already have that (save for one character, who was previously noble already), and that freedom of choice is not guaranteed as shown by Bernadetta’s endings, along with the slew of other problematic elements in CF’s endings (especially when compared to VW and AM, whose endings portray a far more peaceful Fodlan)... yeah, the sacrifices absolutely did not achieve their stated desired outcome. And that’s when they were voluntary

#anti edelgard #Anti-edelgard #Edelgard discourse #Edelgard critical #just to be safe #and to be clear - Dimitri did not force sacrifice on his men on Gronder #but more that he only explicitly tries to save Dedue by telling only him to retreat if he's in danger (falls in battle) #he - in that moment and in specifically VW which is his lowest point character wise - has little care for the safety of his friends #Dimitri states that it's him sacrificing his friends when it's more accurate to say he was indifferent to their safety (barring Dedue) #hence the phrasing in that part #but uh like #overall #ignore my ass if this seems too reachy lmao #i just thought it was interesting to look into how each lord uses the word sacrifice specifically #since it holds such a dramatic and intense feeling to it #but i can see how it can sound kinda meh as a premise for analysis lmaooo #feel free to tear it to shreds lol

[legendsoffodlan]

Fairy Tale Au’s: The Beauty and the Blue Lion

Once upon a time, in a far away land, there was a young Prince who was filled with light and joy. He was kind and gentle, and had many friends all around him. But one tragic day, his father: the good king, was betrayed and murdered before the Prince’s very eyes.

Begrieved and enraged, the Prince declared war on his enemies, and the light in his heart became a terrible fire, burning all in its path. He Carved a wave of destruction through his foes, even as the screams of the damned echoed in his ears.

As he lay to waste the kingdom of his foes, the last queen of his enemies laid a terrible curse upon him. He would become a beast, for he rampaged and murdered as one. And because his knights and vassals were as obedient as tools, that too was what they would become. And so it was, he became a creature out of nightmare.

Ashamed of who he was and what he had become, the Prince shut himself away in his castle, his friends and vassals all around him. The only way to break the curse, would be to find one who could love him and show him the way back to the light. But the Prince despaired... for who could ever love a beast such as he.

As the years passed, hope seemed gone from the Prince... until one fateful day...

-

Cast

Prince Dimitri: Condemned to be in the cursed for of a lion-like creature, Dimitri is foul tempered and lonely, filled with bitter self-loathing and shame. He is the center of the curse that has befallen fair Faerghus, and all the land shall be held under it till the curse be broken.

Byleth: A strange young girl born to a family of pariahs in the village of Remire. She is a quiet and reserved, some say emotionless girl, but in truth she has the kindest heart of any in her home. She finds herself sucked into Dimitri’s world after she flees her village to escape her father’s enemies.

Dedue: Formerly the Prince’s most loyal vassal and right hand man, Dedue is now cursed to the form of a teapot. Even as he is he remains a steadfast guardian of the Prince, and seeks to help him by being there as a friend and reliant.

Felix: Once the Prince’s best friend and now consigned to the form of a cuckoo clock, Felix was the most verbally against his Prince’s rampage before their curse. Bitter and sarcastic, Felix believe the curse will never be broken because, deep down, the Prince revels in who he truly is. Whether he is right, remains to be seen.

Annette: Cursed into the form of a wardrobe, Annette does her best to keep spirits up among the denizens of the castle and sometimes even succeeds. Jovial and hard working, Annette is the first to open her arms to Byleth when she comes to the castle.

Mercedes: Trapped in the form of a duster, Mercedes cares for and every member of her household. Keeping them clean or in good repair is paramount for her, and she often joins Annette in trying to keep everyone looking on the bright side.

Sylvain: Once a charmer and a loveable rogue, Sylvain has become something of a leader among the servants, despite being trapped in the form of a candlestick. He is more optimistic than Felix in believing the curse will be broken, but hope is hard to hold onto these days.

Ingrid: Once the most steadfast of Dimitri’s knights, Ingrid has been cursed to the form of a coat hanger. she somewhat blames Dedue for the state of things for enabling her King’s war crimes, but does her best to continue to defend Dimitri and his home.

Ashe: Cursed to the form of a teacup, Ashe does what he can to entertain the others to keep them from falling into apathy and despair. He works closely with Dedue to keep the Prince sane.

#Legends of Fodlan #Fire Emblem #Three Houses #Fire Emblem Three Houses #AU #Fairy Tale #Fairy Tale AU #Beauty and the Beast #Beauty and the Blue Lion #Byleth #Dimitri #Dedue #Ingrid #Sylvain #Felix #Mercedes #Ashe #Annette #Byleth Eisner #Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd #Sylvain Jose Gautier #Felix Hugo Fraldarius #Ingrid Galatea #Mercedes von Martritz #Annette Fantine Dominic #Ashe Duran #Dimileth #Dimitri x Byleth

[frozenartscapes]

Just reading through the NPC live or die list @kendrixtermina made up here

And mentioned in that list was the thing about Dedue and what he does to Edelgard’s body in VW/SS (which is...frankly horrific but also tragic) and then what would happen if he hadn’t done that

And how fucking depressing would it be if TWSITD got their hands on her body instead? Like, maybe that could have been an alternate ending for VW so that El gets a different death in every route - you think it’s over in Enbarr but then either during the raid on Shambhala or the fight with Nemesis...she comes back.

Actually, yes, I’m now proposing this as a possible ending. Because it would give a little more insight into how TWS viewed her in another route aside from her own. In everything other than CF, she’s seen as their ally. Someone actively choosing to work with them to win the war and who seemingly has no issues with doing so. It’s partially why so many people seem so thoroughly convinced she’s pure evil - she chose to side with them despite all the terrible things they did, some things even to her, so she must not have any morals at all.

But if the above scenario is framed as a tragedy...

Zombie!Edelgard doesn’t act like herself. Much like the Hegemon, she misses a lot of her hits. She doesn’t speak much, but when she does it’s not the confident, self-assured woman she was when she was alive. Maybe her battle stance has her using Aymr as a support, or she looks visibly weak despite having high stamina and health. Maybe when she does speak - especially once she has low health - all she talks about is “finishing it” or “please make it end.”

It would show us that she wasn’t exactly an ally of TWSITD. She was a pawn. Perhaps an actively participating pawn - one that somehow managed to get to the end of the board to become a Queen. But she was still moving under their will. She could only do so much on her own. She was their weapon. And her coming back like Nemesis does would reveal that they regard her as such: just like one would mend a sword or axe if broken, they buffed out her scratches, put her back together, and sent her back into their war.

Edelgard regards her life as a path: either she gets to the end and achieves her goals, or she’s killed somewhere along the way. And she accepts either option, because both are satisfactory. If she wins, then she fulfills her vow to her dead siblings. If she loses, then she dies and she’s finally free from her miserable existence. She’s not going down without a fight, but if she goes down, then at least she can finally rest without nightmares.

But what if TWS drag her back to life after death? She wakes up after a brief moment in non-existence, once again under their horrid knives only this time she’s in some sort of...device. She’s alive, but she’s not. Her brain isn’t working the way it used to. Her body hurts - there’s just a constant, unending pain that reminds her with every breath that she shouldn’t exist.

She realizes that even death won’t provide an escape. If she dies they’ll just bring her back. Again and again. Stitch up whatever mortal blow she took and send her back out. It won’t end until they either are destroyed in entirety, or her body burns.

Honestly, though, this would work for either VW or SS. SS might actually hurt just a little more since Byleth would have had more chances to get to know her before the war started. Actually, maybe this could be the final boss of SS rather than having Rhea just...go crazy? It could be framed in a bittersweet sort of light, where because TWS are gone, killing El this time around means she’s finally, finally free. And maybe Rhea even realizes the shit that went down and changes her mind on how she sees Edelgard. Like, she’s still a traitor to the Church, but... It’s not black and white anymore. And she wishes she had seen it before it was too late.

Eh, I’m rambling about something that will never happen. But what if...

#edelgard #edelgard von hresvelg #au idea #other game ending ideas #what if #like this would be so horrific #but would provide a much more satisfying ending to SS especially

[pastelsapphy]

Why does Sylvian hates himself?

(This ended up being really long whoops)

*cracks knuckles* time to talk about my boy

[All quotes taken from the Fire Emblem Fandom Wiki, so there may be some slight inaccuracies]

Okay so first off Sylvain grew up in a shitty environment, to say the absolute least, and that fucks with your head.

First: his brother. He attempted to kill Sylvain on multiple occasions as kids because Sylvain had a Crest. And Sylvain just like, accepts that??? You can see that a lot in his A support with Byleth. He talked about being shoved in a well and being left on a mountain in winter by his brother, and almost immediately followed up with “I have no right to complain” because he, in theory, got lucky: he got the Crest.

And you figure, he would’ve grown up apologizing and made to feel guilty just for existing. You can see in his dialogue against Miklan, in chapter five:

Miklan: Hmph! Hurry up and die already. If not for you… If it hadn’t been for you…

Sylvain: Shut up! I’m so tired of hearing that. You’ve always blamed me for something that isn’t my fault.

He’s definitely been saying that since they were kids. That kinda stuff really fucks with your sense of self-worth after a while.

Then we have the rest of his family. We don’t hear anything about his mother, or much about his father, but we can infer some things about the latter: Margrave Gautier disowned, abandoned, and cast aside his first son in favor of the one with a Crest. Considering the dialogue about “everything being taken away” from Miklan, it’s possible that he was being raised to be the next Margrave, because someone had to inherit–with Crests becoming less common, who knows how long it would’ve taken to get a kid with one, if they got one at all? They needed a backup plan. And then Sylvain came along, with the minor Crest of Gautier, and suddenly Miklan didn’t exist. That’s fucked up, and it shows how little Margrave Gautier cared about his kids. I honestly doubt he showed Sylvain any kind of affection or attention growing up, and probably only interacted with him for inheritance- and Crest-related reasons. To him, Sylvain was a walking Crest, not a person (Sylvain’s fear of people only ever wanting him for his Crest, and not as a person in any respect, had to come from somewhere).

(And, if I can add a bit of an aside, I feel like this is the root of his philandering. Makes me think of the whole “even negative attention is better than nothing” kinda thing. You figure, Little Sylvain would have been incredibly touch-starved and desperate for attention. Humans are a social species and we literally need attention and affection to live well. I mean, he flirted with Ingrid’s grandmother when he was eight. I can only imagine what he said/did if Ingrid remembered it, considering she would have been five or six at the time. And kids that young don’t really know any better yet. Poor kid probably just wanted attention.)

(Additional aside that came to mind while writing this: I wonder if seeing the arrangement between Ingrid and Glenn affected this at all? Like yeah marriages in that kind of setting were purely political and such, but Ingrid was engaged to Glenn because (a) House Fraldarius was a powerful, well-to-do noble family and House Galatea really needed the resources, and (b) Ingrid was desirable as a wife because she had a Crest. Of course, we don’t know the exact circumstances of the arrangement, but we can infer from her other prospects. Sylvain still would have essentially seen Ingrid being used for leverage because of her Crest.)

So long before the events of the game, Sylvain is already pretty fucked up, emotionally. Trauma does that to you, especially when you have an “everyone else has it worse and I, actually, got lucky, so it doesn’t count and I’m not allowed to feel bad about it” complex. Survivor’s guilt is a hell of a drug lemme tell you. Sylvain has already internalized that,

He’s only good for his Crest

Any negative feelings about his Crest don’t matter, because those without have it worse.

No one will ever truly see him as a person–he’s just a Crest.

Already, that’s a pretty fucked up view of oneself.

By the time he gets to Garreg Mach, he has a carefully crafted persona set up: He’s an asshole, a liar, a serial flirt and cheater, dumb as a box of rocks, and a self-proclaimed “good-for-nothing.” In his B support with Dedue, you hear that people describe him as “indefensibly worthless,” which is followed by,

Sylvain: Indefensibly? Heh, that’s a bit harsh.

Dedue: I already knew your reputation concerning women. But these new rumors deprive you of all redemption. I did try to correct them. But I doubt I was believed.

Sylvain: Well, thank you all the same. Listen. You don’t need to worry what people think about me. As you well know, it’s not easy to correct misunderstandings or change people’s minds. And if I’m going to behave so badly, it seems misunderstandings are inevitable.

He doesn’t even argue, just kinda brushes it off and accepts that’s just How He Is (listen, Sylvain can definitely be an asshole at times, but I have to agree with that being harsh). He doesn’t want people to expect anything from him (well, not anything good). In his supports with Annette, he’s shown to be pretty smart, but admits he hides it because the pressure it puts on him is suffocating. He kinda goes out of his way to hide his more redeeming qualities like that. Also on that point, we have this bit from his B support with Ashe,

Sylvain: […] My advice on the whole thing is just to follow your instincts. That’s what I do. If someone’s in trouble, I help them. You don’t need to be a valiant knight to know that. Doesn’t matter if the person is an ugly old man or the cutest girl you’ve ever seen, you help ‘em.

Ashe: So, you’re saying…

Sylvain: Everybody’s the same, deep down. It’s our job to help anyone who needs it.

Ashe: Ah!

Sylvain: What? You’re looking at me funny. Did I say something wrong?

Ashe: No! No. I’m just surprised, that’s all. You’re actually a much better person than I thought.

“You’re actually a much better person than I thought.” Several of his supports have some variation of this line. Usually after he does something kind. And I mean, Sylvain is a kind person, under the philandering. Most of his supports involve him helping others out somehow.

He helps Dimitri with the girl situation (he kinda got him into it in the first place but I digress)

His whole C with Dedue is pretty much “racism is stupid and I’m going to be your friend, fuck what everyone else says.”

In his supports with Felix and Ashe, he helps them out in battle, at a detriment to himself (You can also throw Byleth in here, during their A support, but he was a jerk in their C and B).

In his Annette supports, she calls him out for going easy on her during training. He admits he was, but only because he didn’t want her to feel bad because she puts so much effort into her work while he “sorta gets by on [his] wits”

Okay I need to say how much I love his supports with Bernadetta???? He does genuinely try to compliment her work, and when he sees speaking to Bernie face-to-face won’t work, he goes out of his way to write a nice and well-worded review (a fairly lengthy one, according to Bernie) and compliment of her work–which Bernadetta takes to much better than she did talking in person. And this is one of the few supports where he doesn’t try to flirt. He’s just trying to give her genuine compliments on her writing and goes out of his way to do it without upsetting her.

His support with Hilda could go a few ways, but he did return the books for her and he did apparently get yelled at for something he didn’t do and didn’t even try to deflect that. And it seems that’s not even why he confronts her later: it’s because of how her actions were detrimental to other people (”And those books you left in your room for so long? Teachers and classmates needed those. So stop lying, and maybe stop being quite as selfish too.”). It’s not until she asks if the librarian said anything that he’s like “Oh, yeah, they yelled at me.”

And a fair amount of people still see him as “indefensibly worthless.” Sylvain often goes out of his way to help people, but he tends to brush it off and keep it lowkey.

I got a little off track here, but my point for this is Sylvain projects an outward appearance of being a really shitty, deplorable person. Almost everyone he has supports with is GENUINELY surprised when they realize that no, he’s not as bad as all the rumors about him imply. Sylvain just doesn’t really want people to know. And, as much as he plays it off like he doesn’t care, that kind thing gets to you after a while. So everyone except a handful of close friends seeing him in such a negative light? It filters in eventually, even if you’re not already emotionally fucked up.

Another thing I want to point out: A lot of times, it seems like Sylvain does not give a shit about what happens to him. A few of his support conversations involve him taking a blow in battle to protect someone else (and his attitude afterward is “better me than them”). Reading his A+ with Felix, “…protecting me like that. You’re so weak and yet you always… always…” this is definitely something Sylvain has a habit of doing. Additionally, we have one of his goal requests: “The best way to impress people is to save them by diving into harm’s way. That’s what a Great Knight does, yeah?” In true Sylvain style he covers it with “I just want to impress people” but he’s still devoting his training to being the guy who jumps in front of everyone else to tank the hit. Fully committing to that kind of thing takes more than just a shallow want to “impress people.” Then there’s his Monastery line to Byleth, toward the end of Verdant Wind I believe?, where he says he fights like he wants to die. Which…. yeah.

Another line of his that sticks with me: “burn until we meet again,” after defeating an enemy post-time skip. A friend of mine pointed out it might just be dramatic, but I think about that a lot. Does he think he’s going to the 3h equivalent of hell??? Does he think he’s that terrible of a person??

Uh this turned out to be a lot longer than i thought. So I guess to sum up:

Sylvain grew up internalizing the idea that he doesn’t have any worth as a person. Everything he is and has is related to his Crest. Everything that people feel towards him is related to his Crest and not who he is as a person.

He internalized the idea that because he has a Crest, that he’s not allowed to be upset about any of this, because he got lucky.

Growing up with Miklan’s abuse, he was definitely made to feel guilty about simply daring to exist. So he grows up hating himself.

He developed an outward persona that only reinforced these ideas–he makes and lets people believe he’s a piece of shit.

His attitude in battle shows how little he seems to care about himself.

tl;dr: Sylvain grew up without any love or affection, and was severely emotionally fucked up by his family, which complicated his relationships with other people and his view of himself as a person and his worth. He purposely projected an image of himself to support this, letting people believe he’s a shit person and doesn’t argue back because he feels it’s well-deserved. He doesn’t seem to think he’s actually worth anything. Sylvain, of course, like all people, has negative traits–that’s just part of being human. But his sense of self has been so warped and twisted over the years that he can’t seem to do anything but hate himself.

#fire emblem three houses #sylvain jose gautier #sylvain gautier #fe sylvain #fire emblem sylvain #three houses #fire emblem three houses spoilers #fe16 spoilers #three houses spoilers #fe16 #feth #fe three houses #asks #anon #mine #long post #i have a lot of feelings about sylvain okay #abuse mention #abuse mention cw

[thepandapopo]

A Step Through Time - Chapter 1: Visitor

Me: Don’t do it

Brain: 

Me: Don’t do it.

Brain:

Me: We haven’t even finished the other one yet-

Brain: HERE’S A SYLVIX IDEA THAT YOU NEED TO WRITE SINCE IT’S PREVENTED YOU FROM DOING ANY MEANINGFUL WORK ALL DAY.

Me: FUCK.

Pairings: Sylvain x Felix ; minor Claude x F!Byleth

Warnings: mentions of masturbation/sex; typical Felix swearing.

Synopsis:

When Felix agreed to go back into the past to make sure certain events during the war actually happen, he expected that he would be the only time traveler at the monastery for those three moons. What he did not expect was for his 6 year old daughter to send herself to the past 4 weeks after himself because she missed him.

or

The one where the post time-skip gang meets an older Felix Fraldarius from the future who tells them he’s there to help for a few battles for reasons he can’t explain and everyone’s dying to figure out who the hell he’s married to - wait, what the fuck he has a daughter?

Some notes:

Verdant Wind / Azure Moon route mash up. Basically the Golden Deer Route but then at the Battle of Gronder (Ch: Blood of the Eagle and Lion), Dimitri joins up with Claude.

Dedue is back. Dimitri isn’t crazy anymore. Rodrigue is unfortunately dead.

All characters are recruited (including Black Eagle students)

Next Chapter (coming soon!)

XxXxXxXxXxX

It takes roughly two weeks for the Resistance Army to fully wrap their heads around the fact that there are not one, but two Felix Hugo Fraldarius’s at the monastery.

It takes them another week on top of that to come to terms that the newest Felix to join their army is from the future. 12 years, to be exact.

The day that Future Felix - that’s what they’ve dubbed him and he thinks it’s ridiculous; who has time to say that mouthful? - arrives knocking on the monastery gates, the entire place goes into an uproar. Claude and Byleth aren’t entirely sure whether or not this is just some dark magicks that the Empire has cooked up in a sad attempt at espionage, or if something has gone so horribly wrong in the future that they send their prickliest general back in time to whip them into shape.

Claude insists on tying him up which Felix grudgingly accepts, because of course this all seems a little far fetched - no one has ever heard of time travel magic...at this point in time anyways. And like everything else Felix does, it just makes them even more suspicious of him because the Felix they know would be hissing and spitting at them with all the fury of an angry wyvern if they even tried to touch him, much less restrain him.

Funnily enough, it’s his past self that manages to convince them that he’s the real deal.

“This is the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard.” Younger Felix crosses his arms and glares at his future self, as if his stare alone could dispel any illusionary magic with its withering intensity.

It’s a bit weird to be on the listening end of his scathing remarks rather than saying them. But technically he is saying them... or at least the past him is, so really is it any different?

“Well, unless you have a better idea, I think this is the best we’ve got for now.” Claude shrugs and runs a hand through his tousled hair for the millionth time that day. “If he really is you, then he should know a secret you’ve never told anyone, and you can confirm it.”

Byleth nods from her place next to the Alliance leader, “We can’t wait until Lysithea and the others find an answer in the library. It could take weeks before they can confirm that any of this is possible through magic.”

More like years, Felix thinks to himself. In his timeline, time travel magic is still a completely new thing. In fact, the only people who know anything about it are a select few that Dimitri, Byleth, Claude and Linheartd trust with their lives. The only reason he’s here now is because the green haired mage had somehow stumbled upon a rift in the flow of time while conducting some experiments. Fearing that this small bump could have dire repercussions to the past, it was decided that they would send someone back to Harpstring moon of that year to help along the events that were yet to unfold.

Between the people who knew and who were available, it ended up coming down to Felix or Sylvain. 

Unanimously, they all voted for Felix. (”Hey! I’m totally trustworthy!” “We know that, Sylvain, but with your reputation for having a silver tongue, none of them will believe you.”)

And now here he was 12 years in the past, tied up to a chair in the Knights hall in front of the fireplace, patience running dangerously thin at the bickering that has been going on for hours.

“Fine,” his younger self grouses with a scowl fierce enough to make a grown man cower. “But he’s writing it down and none of you are allowed to stand close enough to read it.”

It’s a smart idea, really. And if Felix knows himself, then he knows that the quickest way to get to the end of this whole fiasco is to write down a secret his younger counterpart is too embarrassed to admit out loud.

Thankfully, Felix has plenty of those from that time.

From before things become official with Sylvain.

From before he becomes Felix Hugo Fraldarius-Gautier.

A mercifully short moment later, his hands are free and he’s rubbing at the tender muscles where the rope bit into his skin.

A small inkwell, quill, and piece of parchment are placed in front of him by a silent but wary Dedue and Felix nods in thanks before his younger self more or less shoves everyone back a good distance so they cannot read his secrets.

It is silent other than the occasional pop and crackle from the low fire. Hard, piercing Amber meets warm liquid Amber, neither willing to look away, one gaze filled with distrust and jaded bitterness, while the other watches with silent empathy and understanding.

Blame it on his husband’s bad influence, but Felix can’t help the growing desire to tease his younger self. (Which he knows is absolutely hypocritical because he hates being teased but Sylvain was right when he said it is just so easy.)

“How much do you want me to reveal?” Felix dips the tip of the quill in ink and pauses, the tip hovering over the parchment ready to spill secrets only the two of them know.

“...I’ll tell you when to stop.”

It’s a free pass to go wild, is what Felix hears.

There are so many things that he could write. Ranging from the priceless family heirloom he accidentally broke and hid when he was child all the way to some of his more embarrassing training mishaps - one of which involved him falling and stabbing himself on his own goddamn sword -  but despite all of the memories that flash through his head, one in particular stands out the most.

For the second time that day, Felix curses his husband and his perverse influence before scrawling out:

Bedside table. Second drawer. Third notch - press hard to release the fake bottom.

Images of a very familiar flask of oil that has seen many restless nights flash across Felix’s mind. And if the red flush on his younger self’s face is anything to go by, he would bet everything he owned that he was also thinking the same thing.

A beat of silence. “Not enough?”

Felix is honestly a little impressed. He was sure that his secret sex drawer would be enough to mortify his younger self into believing him.

Fine then. He could bring out the heavy artillery.

The first time we realize we are in love with Sylvain is when we are 15 and figure out that the burning rage we feel every time he talks about his latest girlfriend is actually jealousy.

He pauses for a moment to look up at younger Felix. Receiving no response, he continues writing.

The first time we realize how absolutely fucked we are is the morning after the training session where Sylvain takes off his shirt and we dream about -

Ink splatters on the table and over his gloves as the parchment is unceremoniously wrenched away from him and immediately tossed into the fire.

“He’s real” are the only words the new Duke of Fraldarius manages to sputter out between the fingers hiding his burning face. The poor boy looks like he wants to spontaneously combust and also let the floor swallow him whole.

Felix almost feels bad. Almost.

----

The days following can only be described as incredibly odd as Felix wanders the familiar - yet different - grounds of Garreg Mach. He helps where he can with the chores and spends the remaining time either at the Training Grounds like usual, or just simply chatting with his friends of old.

A few times a week he will accompany the troops and assist them in their various missions eliminating bandits or Demonic beasts that have wandered too close to their base. Though he is older now, Felix has never slacked off in his training regimen, not even after the war ends, and his current skill and mastery of swords and Reason are more than enough to deal with these minor nuisances.

All in all, Felix is enjoying himself.

...Except for how much everyone keeps pestering him to reveal things about the future.

“Ooooh, do Claude and the professor finally hook up?” Hilda is leaning across the dining hall table with the biggest shit eating grin on her face, the sausage breakfast in front of her completely forgotten in favor of even juicier gossip.

Felix sighs for the umpteenth time that morning and cuts into his own plate with a bit more force than intended. “Hilda. For the last time, I can’t tell you anything specific in case it fucks up the future.”

“But you’ve already told Annette that she goes on to teach at the School of Sorcery and Mercedes opens up an orphanage!”

“Yes, and that’s because I want to make sure those things actually happen.”

“So what, you don’t want Mr. Leader Man and the Professor to finally knock boots?!”

To his right, Dimitri chokes on his toast at the mental image Hilda conjures.

Much to his relief (or dismay), Dorothea chooses this time to slide into the seat to his left along with Petra.

“Are we interrogating Future Felix again?” The Songstress doesn’t even bother hiding her mischievous glee as she eyes Felix the same way a predator would prey.

“No, we are not.” He glares at the former opera star, cursing the fact that his friends have already figured out that the years have more or less mellowed out his bark and that he has a LOT more patience before he actually bites.

“Aww, come on. It’s basically a breakfast tradition now! Nothing like a side of future gossip with my tea to get me going in the mornings.” Dorothea winks at him before a flash of flaming red near the food line catches both her and Felix’s attention.

“Hey Sylvain! Felix! Come sit with us.” She waves them over and nudges Petra to scoot over to make room.

“Is there anything you guys want to know about the future?” the pink haired Great Knight asks as soon as the pair are seated.

“Oh tons,” Sylvain winks as he picks up his fork and twirls it loosely in his hands. “But the real question is if Future Fe over there will actually answer them.”

Felix lets out a humorless snort. As if he would.

He makes a point to actively avoid his younger self as much as possible because he isn’t sure if it will affect his timeline in any way. Unfortunately, that also means that he has to avoid Sylvain.

Seriously, how did he never realize that they were basically joined at the hip? Where one went, the other was never very far.

It was a fucking miracle that no one had figured out his lifelong crush on Sylvain considering how much time they spent in each other’s company.

But then again, considering everyone’s surprise at how many of them ended up paired off after the war... maybe they were all just that blind. Or stupid.

Thank the Goddess they were all blind and stupid.

Felix manages to fend off most of their prying inquiries, snapping only a few times at Hilda and Dorothea who don’t know when to stop, but everything truly goes to hell in a handbasket when Mercedes comes by asking the group if there is any equipment or armor that needs cleaning since she’s on duty this week.

“Oh, yes actually.” Felix seizes this opportunity and begins pulling off his gloves to hand to the Bishop. “I need the ink stains removed from my gloves. I never managed to find time to properly clean them since the first night I arrived.” 

He isn’t aware that he has done anything wrong until the table goes silent and everyone is staring at him, or rather his hand, with a mixture of disbelief, shock, pleasant smugness, and overall general bewilderment.

“What are you all...” His question trails off when he realizes that his wedding ring - the one that he always wears under his gloves - is now out in the open, the plain obsidian band glittering innocently in the morning sunlight filtering through the windows.

“You’re... married?!”

Oh fuck.

----

“So who’s the lucky girl?”

You like Annie. Don’t murder Annie.

Felix swings his training sword against the practice dummy and lands a clean diagonal hit.

“Ohhh, I bet it’s some noble girl from the Kingdom.”

You like Thea’s opera shows. If you kill her now, you won’t be able to see them after the war.

Stab. Feint. Slash.

“No, Felix doesn’t care for dainty noble girls who don’t know how to fight...”

Thank the Goddess Ingrid is still reliable as ever.

“Maybe it’s a guy?”

Nevermind. Ingrid is the devil.

Duck. Side step into a zig zag pattern approach. Upwards slash.

“It’s... forgive me if I am overstepping, but I am happy that you have found happiness in the future, Felix.”

Don’t kill your king. Regicide is a crime.

Retreat backwards. Dash in for the final blow.

“Yeah! Congrats Felix on finally getting laid!”

It’s only when Felix snaps his training sword in half at the blue haired warrior’s comment that his sword training session turns into a brawl training session.

----

The Fraldarius Duke has never been more relieved to receive a call to action than when Byleth rushes in not long after Future Felix gives Caspar a shiny new black eye.

“Bandits. In the sealed forest. Civilian involved. Gates, now.” is all the warning they get before she is sweeping out the training room doors, no doubt going to retrieve her own equipment.

After 5 years of being at war, they are all seasoned soldiers and as such, it doesn’t take them very long before they are rushing towards the site of the battle.

They have foregone the usual battalions in favor of only deploying their former classmates, allowing them to move much quicker through the dense vegetation.

Up ahead, they can hear low voices talking and what sounds like muffled sobbing. Byleth signals them to slow down and get into position - it’s one of their usual strategies: approach undetected, surround the enemy, and then close in to eliminate.

It isn't until they get close enough to hear the sobbing more clearly that Felix feels his heart leap up his throat.

He knows that sound. He’s heard it a million times over the past 6 years at all times of the day.

Please Goddess, he prays as he creeps closer with more urgency, ignoring Claude’s alarmed look, let me be wrong.

Of course he isn’t.

Raw panic seizes his chest as he recognizes the little girl with an ornate sword strapped to her back cornered under the jagged overhang of a large rock, her long wavy hair a crimson beacon amongst a sea of green and brown, and Felix is running before he can even formulate a plan.

“Come on, little girl... just give us the sword and we’ll let you go,”

“N-no! Papa gave m-me this sword!”

“Well then I hope you’re ready to die-”

Electricity crackles through the air and his body falls to the ground before he can finish his threat.

“Sophie!”

Large, watery honey gold eyes lock onto his and suddenly the battlefield narrows. For one agonizingly long heartbeat, Felix watches the little delicate, red nose he loves so much scrunch up, and he can already hear the tearful wail that comes next.

“PAPA!”

Then, all hell breaks loose.

---

There were very few of them that could say they had the privilege of watching the Felix from the future fight prior to the current battle. Felix - the younger Felix of this timeline - is not one of them.

However, as he watches his older self weave through the bandits like liquid steel, mercilessly cutting them down with cold rage, he cannot help but compare it to his current skill level.

He wonders how many more battles he will have to go through before he reaches that level of deadly grace.

“Watch your left!” Sylvain shouts at him from somewhere to his right and Felix grunts as he parries a hard downward strike of an axe.

His feet flow through footwork long ingrained in his mind and in the next moment, he has slipped past the bandit’s strike range and shoves his sword through his chest.

A clean, quick kill.

Felix is actually rather grateful for the distraction of a battle. But despite the battle cries and sounds of metal on metal clashing around him, he still cannot silence the one thought he’s sure is going through everyone’s mind.

He has a daughter.

He has a daughter in the future. A freaking daughter.

A little girl whose hair is unmistakably the same obnoxiously beautiful colour as those of the Gautier lineage.

Who in the actual fuck does he marry?!

The question rings in his head over and over again as he fells enemy after enemy, and by the end of the battle, he still has not found reprieve from the shock that he is grappling with in his mind.

Felix is not aware that he is unconsciously searching for familiar golden brown eyes before the knot in his chest dissolves when he spots Sylvain cleaning his lance off to the side.

But just as quickly as that knot disappears, another one takes its place.

Because as much as he loves Sylvain with all his heart, there’s no way that even if by some miracle they get married in the future that they can have a child together.

Which means that either Felix has married a distant cousin of Sylvain’s or Sylvain has a daughter that Felix somehow ends up taking care of.

And since Felix knows that he would never be able to love or marry anyone other than his childhood best friend...

...that leaves him with a very bitter pill to swallow.

----

“Papa!”

Sophie is wearing her favourite teal dress with the little swords embroidered on the hem, and even though it is now caked entirely in mud, Felix cannot bring himself to care as he falls to his knees and cradles his daughter tightly to his chest.

“Are you hurt? Did they hurt you?” Calloused fingers fruitlessly brush away the steady stream of tears on Sophie’s blotchy cheeks, the salt water clearing some of the mud away as Felix scans for any injuries.

She shakes her head twice and continues to sob into his chest and he continues to hold her while stroking her hair gently in gentle, calming caresses. Even after this whole fiasco, Sophie’s long waves somehow look as beautiful as ever and a distant part of Felix’s brain wonders if it’s just some inherited Gautier genetic to always looks good no matter what.

“Felix! Goddess, who is that? Is she okay?” Ashe runs up to him, Mercedes and Ingrid not far behind him with equal looks of concern in their expressions.

Felix shakes his head, “I’ll answer questions later. Mercie, can you take a look over her right now and make sure she has no injuries? she says she’s okay but she’s probably still high on adrenaline.”

It is the first time in Mercedes’ life that she has seen Felix look this concerned for another person’s well being and she’s already reaching out with warm white magic even as she nods, but as soon as her hand makes contact, Sophie flinches further into Felix as if burned.

“Sophie. Sophie, it’s alright. You’re safe now. I’ve got you. I won’t let anyone hurt you.” 

It takes a little bit more coaxing before she pulls away far enough to look at him.

“Hey,” Felix nudges her temple gently with his nose. “It’s alright. You remember Auntie Mercie, don’t you? Auntie Mercie would never hurt you. She just wants to make sure you’re not hurt, okay?”

If Mercedes has any reaction to being called Auntie, Felix is thankful that she does not outwardly show it.

“It’s okay, Sophie.” The healer flashes her a soft smile. “I promise this won’t hurt a bit!”

It’s only when Mercedes manages to start her healing spell that Felix lets the tension and fear seep out of his body.

There are so many questions clamoring around in his head, like how in the world is she here in the past and where the hell is his husband who is supposed to be watching her in his absence, but all of that will have to wait until they return to the monastery.

And, if the matching strangled, heart-broken looks on his younger self and Sylvain are anything to go off of, he’s also going to have to reveal a little more than planned if he wants to make sure that he still gets to marry the love of his life.

XxXxXxXxXxX

Sorry that the ending seems a bit rushed. I’ve been working on this for 5 hours now and I just want to post it and go to bed (it’s 3AM). I promise I’ll come back to make some edits later!

Next Chapter

Masterlist

#sylvain jose gautier #felix hugo fraldarius #SylVix #felix x sylvain #fire emblem 3 houses #fire emblem three houses #fire emblem #byleth eisner #dimitri blaiddyd #blue lions #golden deer #azure moon #verdant wind #AU #alternate universe #alternate timeline #time travel #future felix #original character

[md3artjournal]

version 009

DMCL FIC

DIMITRI MEETS CLAUDE-MANDRAKE

5:15 PM 9/24/2021

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3:05 PM 9/24/2021

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1:45 PM 9/24/2021

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1:34 PM 9/24/2021

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11:08 AM 9/24/2021

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11:02 AM 9/24/2021

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6:33 PM 9/22/2021

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1:28 PM 9/21/2021 & 1:25 PM 9/21/2021

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Dimitri craddled the yellow flowers between his fingertips. "Is this it?" He checked the carefully folded paper of Dedue's notes. "'Three leaves, two flowers...Also an aphrodesiac---'" He squinted at the latter's change in handwriting. "Sylvain...!" Dimitri shoved the paper back into his pocket.

He got started pulling the plant up by the roots. Then he paused. Maybe the legends were true, some childish voice warned him. Maybe pulling up a mandrake would kill him. He shook his blond head. No. He was an adult now. He knew that was just a myth. The reality was that mandrake were good for curing maladies and brewing sleep tonics, and he desperately needed sleep, away from his haunting ghosts. He set to pulling the plant at its base. With more fervor this time.

"OW!"

Dimitri let the plant go and looked around him. Nothing but rolling foothills, covered in grasses, shrubs, and flowers. "H-hello?" He called out nonetheless. "Is anyone there?" He stood up, scanning across the landscape. "If you're hurt, I'll help you!"

"That's something, coming from the guy who hurt me." Someone muttered.

"Where---?" Dimitri almost jumped back.

The plant was moving by itself. Stems and leaves shaking from its base, the plant gradually rose up, with something like a human head beneath it, emerging from the soil. An arm sprung up from beside the plant and immediately began rubbing its stem base. "That really hurt, y'know?" The young man lifting himself halfway out of the ground, rubbed at the plant on his head.

"Y-y-you...?!?"

"Yes, yes. I'm a mandrake." the green eyed man with tan skin rested his elbows on the ground. "So? Are you planning to cut me up and grate me? Or drown me in vinegar?"

"You seem exceedingly calm for such prospects." Dimitri was still frozen in place.

"Yeah, well," the mandrake rubbed his head again, "There's not much I can do if a human decides to kill me. Except talk my way out of it or get them to lower their guard."

"Lower their---?"

A sudden yank immediately pulled Dimitri's legs out from under him. He fell backards into the ground, almost slamming his head on a large rock.

The mandrake released his ankles, quickly struggled out of the soil, and began running.

Or rather, he tried to run. As it turned out, mandrakes do not have too much experience in running. Especially on steep, sloped hills and bumpy terrain. He immediately lost his footing and began barreling into a fatal tumble down the elevated hillside.

Until Dimitri caught him.

The mandrake's green eyes, that had been winced closed, slowly opened, realizing he didn't have to brace for a painful fall. "Oh." He looked up into the blond's blue eye.

"Are you all right?" Dimitri asked. The concern was almost frantic on his face.

"Yes, I'm alight," he answered from the cradle of Dimitri's arms. "Um, thanks."

"I'm sorry." Dimitri balanced them on a flatter patch of the hillside. "I had no notion of mandrakes being sentient beings."

They sat down across from each other.

"We're just plants?"

"That is what I had heard. But now that I know you are a conscious being, I would not dare hurt you." Dimitri suddenly realized the man sitting before him was compeltely naked. His face burned red and he quickly turned away.

The mandrake could not stifle a laugh. "I forgot! You humans are so weird about nakedness, huh?"

"Please," Dimitri undid his cloak's clasp. "Take this." He held out the weighty blue fabric towads the vague direction of the mandrake. He could hear the mandrake covering another fit of laughter behind his hand.

"No, you know what? You owe me a lot more than a cloak."

Dimitri couldn't make sense of his playful tone. "I'm sorry?" He didn't look back until he felt the cloak snatched from his hand.

"You owe me a tour!" The mandrake stood up in Dimitri's billowing blue.

Dimitri, still on the ground, could only once again watch with bewilderment on his face. "You want a tour? Of what?"

"Where you come from!" The mandrake turned towards the town at the base of the foothills and spread both arms wide. "The human town! I haven't been in so long! And I could never get close enough to really see anything before! But now I have a guide for cover." He leaned down to Dimitri, with a finger waggle. "And you owe me retribution for scaring me half to death."

Dimitri blinked, nodded his head, and slowly stood up. "Very well."

The mandrake almost spun with glee.

Dimitri extended a hand. "But I'm afraid I didn't necessarily come from the town."

~ ~ ~

"Welcome home, Your Highness." Dedue met Dimitri's horse, at the castle gates. He paused to eye the person who rode in tandem on Dimitri's mare. An unknown man wearing Dimitri's cloak, his hood pulled over his head. "And you are?"

"He is a guest." Dimitri dismounted his horse, handing the reigns to Dedue.

"Very pleased to meet you." The man smiled, slipping off the horse.

Dedue took the reigns and nodded to their guest. He turned to Dimitri. "Your Highness, were you able to find the plant this time?"

He jolted strangely, but hid it. "Yes, Dedue. Your notes were very helpful. Thank you."

"I do wish you would allow me to accompany you."

"That is not necessary." Dimitri paused, and the mandrake glanced back and forth between them. "I'm sorry, I mean that I don't wish to put you out, and I do sometimes...need the time alone."

The larger man was silent a moment. "Very well, Your Highness."

Dedue walked the horse back to the stables.

"What was that?" the mandrake asked Dimitri as they walked the gardens towards the palace proper.

"That was my retainer, Dedue. We've known each other since I was young."

"No, I mean, why is he worried about you being alone?" He glanced at Dimitri from the side. Dimitri was clearly built for battle and his musculature felt strong against his back during their ride to the castle. The horse's saddle and his belt were both equally equipped with tools for self-defense. "And why are you reluctant to tell him?"

Dimitri looked away as they walked. "I'm sorry. I...I was in exile for several years, until recently, when my father was able to re-take the throne. It's still a little," he clenched, unclenched, and fidgeted with his hands, "still a little odd to have returned."

"Hmmm." The mandrake gave Dimitri a thoughtful look. When it wasn't returned, he pretended to be more interested in the sky. "Sounds familiar."

"Oh?"

"Oh, hey! What's that scent?" The mandrake ran in the direction of the kitchens.

"I'm sure the kitchens are preparing the evening meals. Do mandrakes...eat human food?"

"When we're not in the ground." He grabbed Dimitri's arm. "C'mon, let's get a snack. You're hungry too, right?"

"I really shouldn't bother them between meals."

"Oh, they won't notice! We'll be in and out!" The mandrake began dashing against the winds.

When his cloak began flapping upward, reminding him of the mandrake's nudity underneath, Dimitri blushed and turned away. He pulled them to a stop, with the mandrake's hand still hooked around his arm. "I'll ask the servants to bring something to my room. For now, I think I should lend you some clothes."

"Oh? You're still worried about this?" The mandrake picked up the sides of his cloak and began waving the fabric up and down.

"P-Please stop that!"

The mandraked laughed for a bit, but obliged. "Ok. But make sure to ask them to bring us a little bit of everything."

~ ~ ~

"Are you decent?" Dimitri wheeled a cart of food towards his inner chamber, after thanking the servant that had brought it to his door.

"Never!" The mandrake laughed again from behind the door to the inner chamber.

Dimitri began lifting the dome covers on the plates. "What should I call you?" He called out. "I feel terribly rude not referring to you by name."

"What? Oh. Uh, Claude!" The muffled voice responded. Then the inner chamber door burst open. "How do I look?" Claude splayed out both arms and spun a little turn in Dimitri's spare white tunic and tan pants, the flowers and leaves on his head, bobbing up and down.

"Quite nice." Dimitri nodded.

"Ooh! Is that the food?" Claude went directly for the cart. He found a small plate on the side and began piling it up with a bit of everything, just as he had said. "There were a lot of these white and gold embroidered clothes in your closet. So why aren't you wearing any of them? Ooh! Strawberry!"

Dimitri glanced down at his dark and minimally embellished tunic. "Our advisors chose most of my wardrobe. They are prescribing a certain image for our family."

"Sounds stifling."

"Oh, no! It will reassure the people to see their prince fit an idealized role!"

Claude put down the dome lid he held and just stared at Dimitri.

"What's the matter?"

Claude shrugged and returned to exploring the plates under each lid. "If you really didn't see any problems with that, you'd be wearing these clothes already. Just a thought."

Dimitri looked away.

"Hey, here." Claude brought him a plate. "Try this."

Against his better judgement, Dimitri took a bite of the strawberry Claude held between his fingers.

"It's really sweet, right?" An expectant smile danced across Claude's face.

Dimitri couldn't disagree. "Yes. Yes, it is."

"Here. I picked out some other stuff you should try."

"Claude, I have tried all of these foods before."

"Well, not with me. Now eat!" Claude took another morsel from the plate for himself, before gesturing the platter towards Dimitri.

The prince found himself sharing a meal with a mandrake.

~ ~ ~

-------------------------------------------

4:08 PM 9/24/2021

https://medium.com/@trashcansunlimitedoutreach/the-history-of-the-trash-can-and-all-its-dirty-secrets-b12c6853e81b

"

The garbage of the ancients was very different from today’s trash. In early human history, waste was mostly ash from fires, wood, bones, and vegetable waste. The edible portions of it were used to feed animals, and what remained was put in the ground to decompose. The excavation of ancient rubbish dumps by archeologists reveals miniscule amounts of ash, broken tools, and pottery, meaning early civilizations reused and repaired what they could, rather than dumping it.

Other strategies were employed to dispose of waste. Large dump sites were used to deal with excessive garbage that couldn’t be reused or given to animals. On the Mediterranean island of Crete, citizens dug large pits and threw waste in them. Such dump sites were the norm for a long time, and burning trash was an equally popular solution. Sometimes, people opted for the most convenient, though most unsanitary, idea to rid themselves of garbage: throwing it out of their doors and windows, where it piled on the street.

200 AD. To cope with a growing population’s garbage, the Romans devised the first sanitation force. This consisted of teams of two men walking along streets to pick up and toss garbage into a wagon that transported it to a remote site.

Middle Ages

A common practice during the Middle Ages in Europe was throwing trash into the streets. When it piled up, this garbage caused a terrible stench, harbored rats and other pests, contaminated water supplies, and facilitated the spread of diseases like the infamous black plague.

Circa 1350. Recognizing the dire need to prevent such unsanitary conditions, Britain passed a law that mandated clean front yards. Unfortunately, this law was not upheld with any real effort and most garbage continued to be either burned outside in fires or left near houses and in streets.

1354. King Edward III ordered English rakers to rake all refuse from streets and alleys and remove it once a week. These men were early versions of today’s garbagemen. With the waste they collected, the rakers often drove their cartloads to the Thames or Fleet Rivers to dump them.

Wagons and carts like those of the rakers soon became common for carrying trash out to bury in large holes and unload into rivers and oceans.

1388. The English Parliament banned dumping waste in public waterways and ditches.

Circa 1407. Britain passed a law declaring that waste must be stored inside until rakers remove it.

Early America and the Industrial Revolution

"

---------------------------

4:10 PM 9/24/2021

Well, I guess I can't use this in my fic:

Dimitri offered his hankerchief, after he had finished, tossing the empty skewer into the vendor's rubbish barrel.

I mean, it's my fantasy so if I want Dimitri's royal family decree that waste/trash be disposed of in barrels to be carted away once a week, like this article describes, then why not?

But also, it doesn't make sense, if Dimitri is supposed to be worried enough for Claude's feel to go buy him some shoes.

I know this scene is supposed to be some amusing fluffy interactions and showcase Claude's excitment at experiencing the town. But is it necessary? Maybe I should skip to going to the castle? Dimitri could give Claude a full set of clothes and shoes more easily there.

And why did I suddenly write that Claude's mother was human? I know it wasn't just to upkeep Claude's cannonical FE3H biracial background. Because I didnt' think of integrating that into this story. I just wanted an excuse for Claude to have had meat skewers before becasue his mom was able to sneak them to him, since she could easily go to the town, by being human. Is that a good enough reason for this plot background? Sure, it foreshadows that humans can have relations with mandrakes, but do I need to do that?

What even is this story about? Maybe I should figure that out and focus on that. Or at least, focus on the scenes that I originally wanted to write. I wanted to play on the idea of difficulty in caring for delicate plants. But this story is also implying I should tackle how mandrakes are covetted and maybe Claude will later be in danger when people discover what he is. But I want to get to those scnees I didn't even write notes for yet: tragic separation, but I should find a solution to solve that problem. Maybe I should concentrate more on making this a bunch of disjointed vignettes and a SHORT story.

--------------------------------

5:58 PM 9/24/2021

And now suddenly this DMCL mandrake story has turned into an indirect way to talk about my isolation for the past 10 years and how hard it is for me to return to connecting/interacting with people, even the ones that truly care about me. ...Because I know I'll say or do something horrible, or I faulter to open up fast enough or eloquently enough, to be understood. How everything is a memory that haunts me...Everything is a risk to repeat another similar mistake that will haunt me forever...How I'm so afraid to do anything.

Maybe that's why i love Claude's Strength. His fearlessness to move forward. Or at least, his abilty to get past those fears. I know he understand similar struggles, but he got past them. And by himself. Because no one else would stand by him. Maybe Dimitri could stand by him.

----------------------------

7:20 PM 9/24/2021

Is this really going to be a story of Dimitri afraid to open up/connect with people, while Claude is desperate to make connections with anyone? That sounds kind of empty and simplistic. But hey, it's a short story; simple is okay.

But the thing I like about DMCL is that Claude has had to hold onto faith in humanity and the capacity for the world to get better...He's had to hold onto that belief in the best in people/world, all by himself, all while the world was showing him its worst: Everyone who should have been his family, betraying him and shunning him. But Claude had to believe he could make things, the world, and relationships between people, all better than they currently were. He had to hold onto tenous Hope. Constantly clawing for it. Or else his whole world would crumble under Hopelessness. Then suddenly comes Dimitri who proves that Claude's belief in the best in people can all be true. Dimtiri is a genuinely good, selfless, compassionate person. Even when he was at his worst, his feral state, it was not only still rooted in selflessness for others' sakes (even if those others were the dead), but Dimitri was able to come out of his worst state. That alone proves Claude's belief that people can become better, they can return to being as good as you believed in them to be. They just need time and understanding between peoples. Dimitri justifies Claude's Hope in the world.

It's pretty similar to some aspects of the AkiRyu dynamic: Akira was about ready to give up all his hope---Actually, Hope is my ideal theme. Akira was going to give up on his ideals about feeling justified to get invovled in matters to help people in trouble. He was going to resign himself to being beaten down and not invovle himself in helping anyone anymore. But then Akira met Ryuji who continually put hiself on the line to help others and stand against injustice. And even after it cost Ryuji so much, he still kept at it. Ryuji being Ryuji proved that Akira wasn't wrong and that he shouldn't give up on ideals/values at the core of his being. He shouldn't kill his core self.

8:07 PM 9/24/2021

Plus also, Dimitri is super sincere. He's a resting place for someone like Claude who has previously had to constantly guard against other's schemes. But Dimitri is truthful, loyal, benign, and even at his worst/feral, he's still reliably sincere about it.

Maybe it's time I wrote this fic from Claude's perspective.

#work in progress #writing #fanfic

[fire-emblem-drabbles]

Match Up Commission: kingcritical

Match up commission for the wonderful and patient @kingcritical ! Sorry it took me so long to get to this, my depression has been getting the best of me. Still, I hope you enjoy who I decided to pair you up with!

My Match ups are not open. I only take them by commission.

I’m a hetero Aquarius female in my early 20s. My hobbies include baking, learning new things, gardening, cooking, and playing games. I have quite the green thumb and can grow anything. Acquaintances describe me as smart, friendly, and nice but those who really know me (which takes about 1-2 years for me to truly be myself around them) describe me as determined, witty, sassy (quite the sassy pants actually), and overall fun to be around. Regardless of what they fall under, I’m always willing to lend an ear and help as much as I can!  I’m a bit of a jokester too and I love to make people laugh and smile! On the other hand, I can be cold hearted at times and have a strong lack of self confidence due to a rough upbringing. I used to be very athletic, but illness got the best of me. Needless to say, 2020 has done a number on me...I’m hoping to be back in my feet by this spring! I am extremely family-oriented and always put them first before anything. I would do just about anything for my close friends too. I sometimes get referred to as the “mom” of the group haha! Egotistical, manipulative, selfish people irritate me to no end, especially when they take advantage of others. Sloppiness drives me crazy too; I’m a complete neat freak.

For Radiant Dawn, I’m pairing you with Muarim!

So I may be a little biased, since he’s my absolute fav from por/rd but hear me out. He’s been through... so much. Too much, in fact. He needs someone... even, someone calm like him that he can rely on. I really think the two of you would compliment one another well. It’s hard to describe (but that’s why I’m here lol) but I just... feel like the two of you are similar.

Though he’s been free for quite a while, Muarim still can’t help his initial distaste of Beorc. Of course, he quickly gets over it quickly-- at his core, he wants to trust in others and with how open and bright you are, its hard for him not to like you. I feel like a romance between the two of you would be a real slow burn; neither of you sure where you stand with you other and not wanting to ruin what you already have.

That said, he appreciates how open you can be. Often, it can be hard to find people who are a kind and friendly you are, while also being able to lay down the truth in any scenario. He’s also amazed at how well you can garden. Often, he finds that he’s one talent is weapon maintenance-- and as a talent that was rather forced upon him, he finds it nice to see someone doing something that can not only help those around them but that they also can find joy in at the same time. You might find that your joys become his, too; beyond Tormod, Muarim has had little time to really think what he, himself enjoys.

Speaking of Tormod, it probably helps how much he looks up to you, too. The two of them are a pair after all! It probably all clicks in for Muarim when he sees how you interact with Tormod. Needless to say, being the ‘mom’ friend around Tormod helps him put two and two together... that maybe Muarim likes you more than just a friend. Maybe...

Despite this relationship being slow to start I still think it would be a really strong and stable one! The two of you know your boundaries and what to expect out a relationship.

For Fates, I’m pairing you with Benny!

Of the three I choose, I actually think Benny would be the best fit for you!

Compared to how open and sassy you are, Benny is reserved and super shy. He scares easy too, so I like to think you’d be there to comfort him. Benny would probably do his best to do the same for you. With him, there will be a lot of sweet talk and cuddle sessions, where the two of you just... bask in one anothers company when the weight of the world gets to you. There’s no doubt in my mind he gives the best cuddles!

I also see him loving to garden and bake with you. That’s probably how the two of you originally met and bonded-- gathering crops together and taking them to the cafeteria to make dinner that night. Benny couldn’t help but open up to you, what with all the silly jokes you made and how obvious it was you wanted to help him. It was nearly love at first sight for him!

Benny also loves to dote on you-- logical, he knows how capable you are. He’s seen it with his own two eyes how much you can get done when you put your mind to it. However, he can’t help the urge to want to take care of you! He’ll be right there with you when you’re ready to get back on your feet. With his help, surely you’ll be better than ever before!

Knowing that your so family oriented will put Benny at ease too. He loves Ignatius to pieces, but the two often have a hard time talking with one another, just because they’re both so timid. However, with you there and being as outgoing as you are, family time has never been better! The three of you may seem like an odd family... but you’re happy with each other and really, what more is there too it?

For Three Houses, I’m pairing you with Dedue!

The list of characters you gave me no to pair you with from this game was kinda big but luckily, after reading the information you gave me I knew Dedue would be the one for you!

When it comes to hobbies, the two of you really are the most alike. Gardening together at the monastery, an teaching one another different cooking and baking recipes... how cute! Your desire to learn more is also nice, since Dedue is often a willing teacher for many subjects. Its when you ask more about Duscur that he’s like “oh know I think I love her” because well... it took you asking about Duscur to realize your interest was actually him, and being with him, the entire time.

You’re so... alive to him. Open and free, speaking your mind and not caring about the consequences. Not that he couldn’t, of course, but Dedue just isn’t that type of person; when he sees you doing it though, he can’t help but respect it. It makes him feel comfortable around you, knowing that you don’t care about whatever stigma may come from being around him. And knowing that you’re strong enough to deal with whatever backlash may come of it is helpful as well. Of course, at the end of it all, he’ll just be apologizing. Just take it in stride and remind him that none of this is his fault and that you love him.

I think that the two of you would often be in competition with one another in a “who can take care of the other more” kind of way. You’ll be tempted to overdo it, though, so make sure to remind yourself and Dedue that it’s okay to take breaks! Take the time to just... enjoy one another, without thinking about what could be, or needs to be done. I think you’ll find it just as rewarding!

And... in the future, when Fodlan is once again at peace... I think you’ll find Dedue is more than willing to start a family with you. I just hope you’re ready for a big one! Dedue is just as family oriented as you... he may have lost those he care for but with you, he’ll have the strength he needs to build his own family.

#commssions #commision #match up #path of radiance #radiant dawn #fire emblem #fe #fe muarim #fe benny #fe dedue #dedue molinaro #this drained me ngl #I'm so sorry it took so long I've just been #like #actually dead

[gascon-en-exil]

Mercilessly Judging the Men of Fòdlan: The Kingdom

It’s been a long time coming, over eight months in fact, but now that it may be assumed that the last of the DLC has been released and the fandom as a whole has settled comfortably into its various camps I think there’s no better time than now to answer that burning question: how raunchily, outrageously gay can the male cast of Three Houses possibly be? For those unfamiliar with this fun little series of mine, I’ve been applying my extensive knowledge and experience of gay male sex and hookup culture to the men of Fire Emblem, originally as a way of reckoning with the refusal of the games themselves to provide me with any worthwhile self-insert M/M content. I stand by that premise for FE16 - you all know how absolutely nothing appeals to me about m!Byleth or his prospects on that score - but in the years since my first outing of merciless judgment with Awakening that idea has expanded into something broader, an imaginative modern AU of sorts where all these guys are into men (if not always exclusively) and willing to put themselves out there in the lewd and semi-anonymous world of hookup apps in search of their preferred carnal delights.

A note on organization before we begin, as this material is too long to cram into one post. Excluding Byleth (as Avatars and their spawn always are for this project) there are twenty-one playable male characters in Three Houses. This makes for an even threeway division to preserve the eponymous conceit of the game, but not a particularly neat one. Aligned with the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus I therefore have below the male Lions, Kingdom knight and Azure Moon-exclusive Gilbert, and Faerghus-based underworld kingpin Yuri. As with all things concerning M/M outside of Byleth and his awkward S rank monologues, the Lions have it the most clear-cut.

The Empire

The Alliance

Dimitri

It’s rare that you can get a feeling for someone’s whole life story entirely from watching their presence in hookup spaces over time, but he’s an exception. Once a sweet, wide-eyed collegiate who looked eager to get dicked down by any reasonably polite and attractive top/vers, hard years have turned him grim and sad and just barely put together enough to be presentable for a clothed face pic, much less anything more revealing...and still eager to get dicked down. He’s been dealing with a lot lately, and even though he’s still game for a quickie from time to time (especially with muscle guys, a shallow weakness of his he’d blush to admit to out loud) a single roll in the sheets isn’t going to make him emotionally available. Apparently he’s already well-covered on that front as it is; with his charisma and open-minded way of looking at the world he’s made many friends and fuck buddies and companions who seem half like boyfriends and half like something indescribably beyond that, and a new trick would be hard-pressed to compete with that and likely wouldn’t want to if it means engaging with his demons. Still an enviable hookup partner though, with a full pert ass and a whole assortment of friends who love to play with him and anyone else who lands an invitation to his bed. His cock has left many a bottom drooling, but unfortunately he’s haunted by the memory of the time when he went too hard and nearly caused a medical emergency. Now he just takes it and doesn’t even let anyone ride him, but there are just as many men who aren’t complaining about that in the slightest. Has a very high chance of winding up in a tender and fulfilling poly marriage that’s still open on all sides - he’s got a lot of hot, sweaty love to give.

Favored erotic tea time subjects: body worship, muscle bears, group sex

Favored gift: a body pillow, on the infrequent occasions where he has to sleep alone with no one to cuddle

Dedue

One of those shy larger men who will never initiate conversation, because he’s been blown off one too many times for shallow reasons and isn’t expecting that to ever change. It doesn’t bother him greatly though, because as his profile states he’s in a relationship and he and his partner only play together so unless you’re only looking for friends - not impossible, as he’s got quite the array of engaging hobbies on display in his pics - you’ll have to accept that this bear has a cub...or something like that anyway. Bad at small talk and even a little embarrassed to talk about his expertise in the kitchen or the garden, it’s a completely different story when the lights are off where he’ll give cocky power bottoms and scoffing total tops exactly what they deserve. Sub bottoms on the other hand bring out his softer, cuddly side, and he’s more likely to be using his considerable weight to lovingly press them into the mattress as he opens them up with his tongue and eventually his dick. Is utterly devoted to his partner but enjoys watching him playing around with third parties, even if he’s almost never allowed to sit on the sidelines for the entire night. To the shock of everyone he’s actually a total vers, even if he leaves most tops stammering excuses and bending over for him anyway. He’s usually polite enough to stick to oral in those cases. He’ll never be the most sociable man, but he’s a real catch regardless in every other aspect and is no doubt looking forward to his inevitable wedding and only sometimes X-rated married life. Still fondly recalls the first time someone introduced him to the idea of sex while cooking, and now he takes it as a challenge (only when he’s cooking just for himself and his sexual partners, of course; he doesn’t want to be unsanitary).

Favored erotic tea time subjects: twunks, voyeurism, cum swapping

Favored gift: a chef’s apron short enough to let his junk hang free

Felix

Has a biting retort for every unsolicited nude and “looking?” ever sent to him, and he gets a lot of both when his pic is just enticing enough and his profile is full of enough acerbic wit to provoke the kinds of guys who actually read those things. Claims he’s vers, gets pissed whenever anyone tells him that’s just code for bottom, gets even more pissed after hookups when his partner points out that that’s totally true in his case. Prefers oral to conversation, both giving and getting, and he’s got a remarkable talent for handjobs that surprisingly doesn’t seem to be born from excessive masturbation. Not so great with fetishes - he punched the first guy to pull his hair while he was giving head, and passes made at him during his workouts leave him more annoyed at the interruption than aroused. Disarmed by anything too soft and cutesy so he’s not great with fems, but it’s unclear if this has anything to do with his lingering daddy issues that he’s not working out in the bedroom because they’re (probably) not like that. Not sentimental at all, but he’s probably got that one longtime slow burn affair he doesn’t bring up with his tricks. If anything ever comes of that he’ll vanish immediately from the app space, but until then he’s up for a 69 followed by a good long pounding - much longer than you’d expect from someone of his frame. Good thing too, because he loves making his partners cut loose and give it to him raw and hard.

Favored erotic tea time subjects: “straight” guys, dildos, pig sluts 

Favored gift: high-quality lube. and lots of it

Ashe

Everyone’s BFF, sweet and affable and able to bounce from friend group to friend group even without always having to take his clothes off. Usually finds himself as the token twink surrounded by men who are very much not that, because they value his friendship and reliability (and also his ass, as expected). Did not have the best home life and has probably had to do a few shady things to get by, but with all that mostly behind him anyone would be happy to date him or even just to take a walk with him, as he’s quite outdoorsy when he’s not taking care of relatives or less responsible friends. A bottom by expectation because there’s not much else one can infer when he shows up to bars and house parties alike in the company of guys twice his size who aren’t shy about being casually handsy with him. Still, has learned to be quite deft when the need arises and knows how to stimulate on multiple fronts, whether for one partner or several. His weakness for muscles is genuine too, and he loves a firm chest as much as taking some guy’s thick meat. Paradoxically doesn’t have a lot of patience for dumb jocks, but since he knows just about everyone worth knowing (and sleeping with) in his area and works the freckled fresh-faced young cutie angle with an artlessness that surprises some of his less gifted peers he’s bound to wind up in a comfortable relationship of some kind or another. Prefers to have sex with the lights on, and if given the option will cuddle for a long time afterward to avoid turning them off. His ass has freckles too, but he rolls his eyes when he gets asked that.

Favored erotic tea time subjects: gym sex, spit roasting, breaking in new bottoms

Favored gift: a sensible jockstrap, for workouts and for dates

Sylvain

Everyone you know has slept with him, but almost never more than once. You might have even met him in person long before you encounter his minimalist profile with its headless abs pic hitting you up with a shot of his erection measured against a beer can followed by an address. Gets a lot of action on that pic alone, but repeats are few and far between when he pulls out his phone right after pulling out of his guy of the hour and starts browsing through what’s on offer again and slow jerking. Not a big fan of FWBs met through hookups since he always feels like they’re being too clingy even if they just happened to get horny for him again a few weeks later. Does not like to talk, especially about his family, and he almost never extends an invitation to spend the night. Still, as callous as he is that cock is impressive and he knows how to put it to work. Good with his mouth too, and true to his cultivated total top persona he’d sooner rim than blow. He’s also successful and likeable enough in his personal life to have buddies who’ll play around with him, and he might even have some kind of nebulous long term thing going with one or two of them that they strictly don’t discuss. Bottoms only as a challenge, but he’s not great at it and doesn’t have the stamina to last very long while riding. Is on PreP and uses condoms religiously so he’s got that going for him, but testing after sex with him is still recommended because there’s really no telling how many other holes he’s filled that week. Likes twinks and twunks, but loudly refuses to ever be a sugar daddy no matter how desperate he might get in his later years assuming he doesn’t die of untreated syphilis or something equally appropriate and ridiculous.

Favored erotic tea time subjects: marathon fucking, double penetration, open relationships

Favored gift: a fleshlight molded into the shape of his favorite fuck buddy’s hole, for sentimentality

Gilbert

His pics are neither very current nor very flattering, and he doesn’t excel at small talk although he’s evidently been around long enough to know how to get an open-minded hookup over to his place from time to time. Encounters are fast and fumbling and drawn out more by his waning libido than anything else, and half the time he’ll settle for watching a guy play with himself in front of him while he makes an effort to get into it. It would be inaccurate to say that he’s not a romantic man; rather, it’s as though all his passion has been left behind in a difficult former life that he only reveals some of in long wistful moments over multiple encounters. Doesn’t get many repeats however on account of the lackluster performances, and also because his stubbornness bordering on self-righteousness about certain topics becomes very grating very quickly. Based on the stories he tells and the few pictures he has to show he was quite a catch in his earlier days, but circumstances and being closeted until much later in life kept him from exploring as much as he wanted. Has the potential to end up in a loving if not particularly sexual relationship with someone provided they’re extremely patient as he works through and/or learns to set aside his numerous hangups. There are worse fates...but never, ever call him daddy. It brings up a lot of bad memories, plus he just thinks it’s weird. Kink is something he left behind decades ago when he resigned himself to the knowledge that he wasn’t going to be getting much vanilla action, much less anything more exotic.

Favored erotic tea time subjects: mutual masturbation, actual straight guys, spooning

Favored gift: the balls to get some closure

Yuri

A consummate professional, albeit one whose marketing strategy carefully conceals that fact and also leaves no room for the kind of casual bigotry that flourishes on hookup apps - having a problem with “no fems” is expected from the build and the guyliner, but he’s all for equal opportunity sex even on top of that. Accustomed to the usual array of lonely and horny men who hit him up for pics and dirty chat and the occasional good time, and skilled enough in a variety of roles to perform whatever’s being asked of him. It’s not entirely clear where his own tastes lie; even the muscled closet cases who show up in his messages on the DL don’t seem to do all that much for him if they’re not paying. A former career in the arts has left him with an entertainer’s flair for pleasuring his clients both in and out of the bedroom along with an eclectic skill set that always finds a way to get put to work during sex. He can grind his hips, swirl his tongue, arch his back, and moan in the just the right ways to drive his partners wild, and all that experience also lends itself to his ability to patiently tutor even the clumsiest of lovers into something resembling competence, enough for them to get off if not himself. Bottoms more often than he tops, but he’s vers enough in skill and in preference to pivot when necessary and will probably have little trouble keeping this gig of his going later in life as well. He may not ever end in a proper relationship, but he’ll still do well for himself in an unorthodox way in keeping with the curiously world-weary optimism he sometimes espouses during pillow talk with guys who actually interest him enough for conversation.

Favored erotic tea time subjects: flip fucking, big top/small bottom, religious kink

Favored gift: creative restraints, for when he’s feeling acrobatic

#Fire Emblem #FE16 #Fire Emblem Three Houses

[wardencommanderrodimiss]

Who wants some more Three (Frat) Houses AU shitposting. Nobody asked for it but I give you: a scene from the Blaiddyd-von Hresvleg stepsiblings’ apartment at Garreg Mach Academy, in regards to a two certain someones’ subversive activities.

-

“They’re going to find out, El! They’re either going to catch you lugging around ten pounds of spraypaint when you don’t even take any art classes, or they’re going to trace all of the hacking Hubert is doing back to--”

“No, they won’t,” says Hubert.

“What, because you’re behind eighteen proxy servers or whatever the fuck bullshit words you string together like it means something,” says Dimitri, who has been banned from doing any tech troubleshooting because his only technique is ‘turn it off and on again and then thump it’ and he’s broken too many electronics by thumping them. “I’m changing the wifi password. I’m not letting you do your hacking from my wifi anymore.”

“Your wifi?” Edelgard demands. “It’s our wifi! We both pay rent here!”

“I thought your parents paid for this apartment,” says Dedue, who is aware that this statement does not really back up Dimitri but he kind of wants to see how this plays out for a little while longer before he’ll like, consider trying to deescalate the situation.

“Then it’s still our wifi,” Edelgard says. “It’s not your wifi, Dimitri.”

“As though changing the password will stop me for more than fifteen minutes,” says Hubert, who would never consider deescalating this situation and just wants to see shit burn.

“Then I’ll take a fucking baseball bat to the router!” Dimitri shouts. “I don’t give a fuck!”

“Really now,” says Edelgard. “That just hurts you, too. I don’t understand your thread of logic here. If you have confidence in the administration’s capabilities, then you needn’t worry that you and Dedue will get in trouble. And if you’re so sure that the administration will blame you and Dedue despite not being involved, then it’s quite obvious that they’re corrupt and incompetent, and you understand my reason for protesting them, do you not?”

“I do not care about the church or campus administration,” says Dimitri, as he more strongly than ever feels the urge to grab Edelgard’s self-defense baseball bat and crack open the router. “I do not care, at all, about your self-righteous cause. What I care about is that if Dedue gets caught up in your stupid games, then he will lose his scholarship, lose his ability to attend, lose his student visa, and get deported!”

“He’s not going to get deported,” says Edelgard, with all the assured confidence of someone leading a graffiti crusade against the expensive private school her parents forced her and her stepbrother to attend, which is a very niche kind of confidence, but she has it in droves. “Hubert can just hack the government and correct any records that need correcting in order to let him stay. Right, Hubert?”

“That is....far from that simple,” says Hubert, who knows by now that Edelgard, much like Dimitri does not understand technology and thinks that Hubert does something like actual magic. “But yes, should it come to that, I will do everything in my power in order to rectify such a situation.”

“You intend to solve, by hacking, a problem which you have created by hacking,” Dedue says, mostly just trying to get a grip on where this conversation is.

“See?” Edelgard says, entirely missing the quiet disbelief that Dedue is expressing. “There won’t be a problem, Dimitri. Besides, our family is rich. I’m sure we can beg our parents to pull some strings if we truly must. There’s no need for the both of you to worry.”

“Get out of here,” says Dimitri, pointing to the door.

“Excuse me? This is my apartment as much as--”

“Get out. Both of you,” says Dimitri. “Right now, start packing. Or I will literally throw both of you and all of your possessions out this door.”

“Really, you will,” says Edelgard, who has watched Dimitri not follow through on numerous threats, and ignores the small subset that he has most unfortunately followed through on, the latest of which required replacing the apartment coffee-maker. “I’d like to see it.”

Dimitri picks up the coffee table, dumping off of it Edelgard’s notes, his own notes, and seven empty energy drink cans that Hubert has consumed within the past sixteen hours. “Dedue, please open the window,” he says.

“I thought you said you would throw us out the door,” says Hubert, who now really wants to see shit burn and will throw as much metaphorical tinder onto the sparks as it takes to get something to happen.

Dedue opens the window and glances down. “The street is clear,” he says, and Dimitri stumbles backwards to the window, glancing briefly over his shoulder to confirm Dedue’s assessment before he hefts the coffee table through the open window. 

“What next?” Dimitri says, after there is a moment of silence for them to all take in the splintering sound as the coffee table hit the sidewalk. “Something else of yours, El? Or does Hubert have a suggestion of his own?”

Any answer is forestalled by a scream from down on the street. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING UP THERE, YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER?”

Dimitri blanches. “Oh, Goddess,” he says.

“Is that...Felix?” Edelgard asks.

“THE FRAT SENT ME TO DO A WELLNESS CHECK BUT DIMITRI IF YOU ARE ALIVE AND UP THERE I SWEAR TO FUCK I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF.”

“That is indeed Felix,” Dedue says. “I wonder where he was standing to be out of our sights.”

Dimitri pales even further, as the situation fully hits him the way the coffee table did not in fact hit Felix, as does the phrase ‘wellness check’ registers with him that he let his phone die two days ago and hasn’t turned it back on since he has been so busy fretting about the Edelgard situation, and that this radio silence was indeed legitimate reason for his friends to worry, and in return he nearly dropped a coffee table on Felix’s head.

“Good luck,” Hubert says smugly, cracking his knuckles and unfolding himself from where he sat on the couch hunched like some sort of goth gargoyle. “I presently intend to begin packing, but do say hello to Felix for me.”

“There’s no reason to start packing just yet,” Edelgard says. “If Felix kills him then he can’t throw us out of our apartment.”

“I will fucking haunt you,” Dimitri says.

#i started thinking about this au again and now that i'm doing the blue lions route #i feel like i can better write about what the FUCK is going on in this household #also: the comedy inherent in having dedue edelgard and hubert all speak in a manner more like canon #while dimitri and felix swear up a shitstorm. that is COMEDY and i stand by it. #three frat houses au

[msbluebell]

Dimitri doesn’t know how to be cared for anymore. 

He’s spent the last five years on the run, with only Imperial Soldiers hunting him down and the voices of the dead for company. He’s not used to being cared for anymore. He isn’t used to soft touches, or warm food, or beds, or sleep, or even a full stomach. He hasn’t really relaxed since before the war started and he doesn’t even remember how to anymore if he’s honest.

So once he’s decided to atone for his...less than ideal ways...he’s somewhat at a loss for what to say to anyone.

Tactical meetings are easy. They’re information sharing, planning, making moves and decisions that will give them the best advantage, pulling in money and resources, things he knows well, things he was trained for, things he figured out in the wild.

It’s what comes after the meetings that he struggles with; when everyone breaks up and starts chattering about their plans for today, or something interesting they’ve seen. He can only watch then, not used to seeing that anymore. He knows he used to be one of them, that he used to join in on the conversations, but he’s not that Dimitri anymore, and he’s forgotten how to. 

No one approaches him first, and that’s fine, he understands why. He hasn’t been a good man in years, hasn’t even really acted like any decent human should. Felix isn’t wrong, he was a beast. He doesn’t blame anyone at all for not approaching him after his attitude during those four months. 

He can’t even remember much of those months, or if anyone tried to speak to him. He remembers some. Byleth check on him every day, and sometimes Felix would stand there with his hand on his sword, probably ready to strike. But he doesn’t really remember if anyone else ever tried of if Byleth warned them off early on. He doesn’t burden them with his company, and they leave him be, and it’s fine. It’s fine, he understands. He’s learned how to be lonely a long time ago.

Except that’s not alone anymore.

Dedue came back seemingly from the dead with words of apology and scars lining his face. He raced right back into Dimitri’s life like he never left, resuming the duties he’d taken upon himself years ago with nothing more than repeated apologies that it had taken so long for him to return. Dimitri is at a loss. He isn’t used to looking over his shoulder and finding a friend there. He isn’t used to someone taking an interest in his rest, or his hunger, or his comfort. It...surprises him. He remembers being younger, when Dedue did this often and he wished his friend would take a moment to himself, stop acting like a vassal. Now. Well, now he doesn’t even understand why Dedue would do this anymore. He doesn’t need it, he’s trained his body to run on no sleep or food for long periods, especially during winter.

Dedue despairs about that fact. He doesn’t say it to Dimitri, but he hates that his highness has had to endure those five years like that. Dimitri was bad before, but now his highness doesn’t sleep at all. He seems to forget he even needs to most days. It’s not even too much time studying or training like it once was. His highness just seems to forget sleep is something the body needs every night. He’ll sit himself down on a pew, or chair, or he’ll lean against a wall and watch every wall, every exit, until Dedue has to remind him that it’s time to sleep. And even then Dimitri has to be coaxed towards his room, towards a bed, because Dimitri is content to hold a lance in his hand and sleep upright and with his back in a corner. He hates the sight. His highness should be sleeping in the finest beds with blue blankets; safe and warm and comfortable. Dedue is trapped between his desire to get Dimitri to a proper bed and his desire not to wake him because it’s so difficult to get him to sleep already. And even gentle touches seem to startle Dimitri these days, like they burn, so Dedue is hesitant to reach carry him.

Food is also something Dimitri won’t touch often.

It’s not because Dimitri thinks it’s gross, he hasn’t tasted since Duscar. No, he’s just not used to food anymore either. He did eat, sometimes, when his body just couldn’t go on anymore without a stolen radish or bits of hunted boar. But food never came every single day, and he’s learned to ration out of habit. He would eat every three or four days, and drink to make up for it. He’d try to eat ore often if he could, but three meals every day isn’t something he’s had in years. Dedue and Byleth both have to remind him to eat. And even then he has to eat slow, get used to having food in his stomach all the time.

When he’s invited to tea with Byleth he has to fall back on instinct. The last time he had a cup was with the very same professor, with this very same tea set. It’s warm, almost too warm, and it almost burns his tongue. Royal training so old and drilled into him comes back to the surface, and that’s how he saves face. Still, the tea is almost...calming...he’d forgotten calm at some point. He’d forgotten what it was like to sit and not expect a knife in the back. He keeps thinking someone will attack any moment, but it never comes.

His behavior is concerning for Dedue and Byleth, but no else one really realized there was a PROBLEM. It’s up to them to make sure Dimitri remembers to eat and sleep most days. Compared to how he was, it just seemed so much better than before, more healthy. But it’s not good, and he needs a schedule until he can remember on his own. And it doesn’t help he keeps expecting them to disappear sometimes.

He forgets, sometimes, that they’re not ghost. He doesn’t do it often, but he does sometimes if he goes long enough without food or sleep. Sometimes he’ll wake up and flee from his room, heavy footfalls waking up Dedue, and he has to be reminded that he’s safe, that they’re alive, that he’s not in the woods.

Mercedes notices after a while. She’s the first to really approach him and try to talk after his declaration of atonement. Her heart is soft, maybe, because she forgave him right away. She just wants her old friend back. She was giving him some space, but now she wants to try and connect again. So she approaches with a soft smile and decides to start where they left off. She asks him if he’d been working on his sewing.

Dimitri is confused at first, before answering that he hadn’t worn clothe besides his cloak for a very long time, and it never seemed to rip. He’s been in armor for a long time now. He walks, fights, and sleeps in it. The only time it’s off is when he bathes and he cleans it. It’s easier that way, because you never know when an assassin will try to catch you while you sleep, or while you’re hunting. He hunted an animal to add to his cloak for warmth one winter, but that’s it. (Dedue tries to coax him out of the armor, but he still...he still can’t...)

A horrified Mercedes can only stare.

He understands, objectively, why she would be concerned. But he’s so used to the armor that it doesn’t seem like an issue to him. But no matter how much he tries to reassure her that it’s fine, she doesn’t seem to be comforted.

Annette is the next to reach out. Mercy had told her that something was wrong, but she already knew that. Still, she needs to talk to Dimitri anyway, and if he’s ready than she’s been waiting a long, long, time for this chance. He’s her sorta-big brother and she wants to make him feel better. Cooking good food should make him feel better, right?

Does he like sweets? She can’t remember.

Asking him is exactly like talking to family she hasn’t seen in a while, and she would know. But he seems...confused...that she wants to make him feel better, that she wants to help him. And he shouldn’t, because she already told him how she felt a long time ago. They’re basically family.

He doesn’t seem to get that though, so she had to remind him. She has to keep reminding him.

The thing is, Dimitri doesn’t seem to understand that she would still care about him after all that bad stuff. She doesn’t get why, you don’t stop loving people because they were bad for a little while, she would know. He assures Annette that he’s alright, and she doesn’t need to worry, he’s fine. It doesn’t say that she’s wasting his time on him, or that food is odd to him.

Dimitri, he’s too used to the dead telling him he’d failed. He knows that he shouldn’t listen to them anymore, but five years worth of words don’t just fade away over night. He just can’t recognize that he’s deserving of care anymore, and somewhere along the way he forgot how to take care of himself, and then convinced himself that he didn’t deserve to be taken care of anyway.

It’s almost like whiplash whenever someone tries to show him they care. Flayn hugs him one day, assuring him that no matter what bad things he’s done that he can come back from them. All he could do was tense up and freeze, her arms burning like hot brands around him. He doesn’t dare move, or ask her to stop, caught somewhere between not wanting to hurt her and not wanting this to end and thinking it burns because he’s being punished anyway.

Recovery is slow. It takes time to get used to things like self-care and affection again. He has to take baby steps with them. It takes longer to recognize that his friends, for the most part, still CARE about him too.

But he gets there, baked sweet and one sewn shirt at a time.

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