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hazbingirliexoxo · 2 months

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“The Archer” Angel Dust Analysis

A/n: ALRIGHT YALL❣️ it’s been a hot minute (literally a whole month lol rip☠️) but I have FINALLY written this and am ready to share it with everyone!🤩 So I’m a huge Swiftie and I absolutely love Angel😭💕 so listening to this song: “The Archer” instantly made me think of him. I think the lyrics really highlight how his experiences with love have shaped the complexities of his true feelings and while we still have so much more to discover about his and Husk’s developing relationship in the show, I truly think that this song just “screams” them. If you haven’t listened to the song before, I definitely recommend to!😊 Anyway, lez get into it!😎

Note: For reference, I primarily used this article: https://gwtimes.org/1625/music-books-movies/the-archer-taylor-swift-lyric-analysis/ to organize all of my thoughts and opinions on why this song suits Angel so well. I think this author did an excellent job at explaining the real message of the song in regards to Taylor’s life, but this analysis is solely based on my OWN interpretation of how Angel’s character fits this song. Just wanted to clarify. THANK YOU AND ENJOY!!!❤️❤️❤️

Combat, I’m ready for combat

I say I don’t want that, but what if I do?

Cause cruelty wins in the movies

I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you

Okay so, with these first few lines, we can think about how much Angel has been through, both in life and death. Like anyone else, he’s made mistakes and fought with many people he’s cared about before, whether that be with his birth family (ex: Arackniss, Molly) or his newfound family/friends he’s made at the hotel later on (ex: Charlie, Husk, Niffty, Sir Pentious, etc). But in terms of his actual familial background, Angel was born and raised in the mafia, meaning he’s used to seeing the indescribable horrors and violence associated with that lifestyle. He has no choice but to conjure up this metaphorical shield of “armor” in order to not only protect himself but also, survive. This ultimately makes it very difficult for Angel to form and develop good, healthy relationships, whether that’d be platonic or romantic, because as much as he craves genuine love and affection, isn’t that going against everything he’s known? To not care about what anyone thinks of him because at the end of the day, everyone leaves regardless? Angel Dust is a perfect example of being conditioned to this toxic, negative mindset he’s built for himself every day and we especially see more of this when it comes to his work with Valentino.

Now Angel is a celebrity, the most famous porn star in all of hell. Of course, due to his natural charisma and good looks, all eyes are drawn to him. He’s expected to essentially “put on a show” and show off what he’s “good for” because who could resist the seductive, charming Angel Dust? But that’s the cruel irony behind it all. Angel’s perception of his pornstar persona overshadows the reality of his true self, which makes it easy for him to push people away and not let anyone see the real him. He’s bred to allow people to chase after him, lust after him, because that’s the embodiment of who Angel Dust is, not who Anthony is. Angel Dust doesn’t care if people “leave” him because he knows that one way or another, there’s always someone else who will appreciate him for his “talents”, who will shower him with the desire and attention he so desperately seeks, despite it being superficial. But Anthony? No one knows who that is nor anyone would care to know who Anthony is in Angel’s mind, so rather than reveal his true thoughts, he decides to remain silent and keep them hidden from the public view as a way to protect himself.

Easy they come, easy they go

I jump from the train, I ride off alone

I never grew up, it’s getting so old

Help me hold on to you

Now, these second set of lyrics go a little more in-depth about Angel’s personal life and relationships. The first line expresses how easily he attracts people and yet still drives them away. The second one, however, can be explored through both a platonic and a romantic perspective. In a platonic lens, Angel struggles with making real, genuine friends (other than Cherri) because he’s afraid no one will be interested to get to know him. The same thing can be said in a romantic point of view. Angel loves to flirt, yes, but with his pornstar persona, he over-amplifies it and makes it seem like he’s “on board” in the beginning, but in the slightest sense of any seriousness or vulnerability, he “jumps off”, going his own way because he knows he’s unable to commit. This third line takes a look into how Angel is associated with being the “black sheep” of his family. Despite his somewhat childish nature, Angel’s always causing trouble and has never been the more focused, responsible type like his older brother: Arackniss. But due to these specific family dynamics, this shows how Angel feels like he’s never taken seriously with his true self. And because of that, he doesn’t understand how to grow and mature enough as a person to handle long-term relationships. The last line here can be portrayed as Angel’s inner thoughts and feelings towards his future love interest in the series: Husk. Angel is so used to giving up and running away from the idea of real love because of his own sexual abuse and trauma from Valentino. But throughout his whole afterlife, Husk is the only good man who respects and values Angel for who he truly is and despite how nice yet unfamiliar that feeling is, Angel’s terrified of losing it. Therefore, these lyrics can imply how he’s pleading for Husk to help him stay grounded and focus on exploring and pursuing this new relationship with him.

I’ve been the archer, I’ve been the prey

Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?

In the chorus, we can start to see the lyrics become even more personified towards Angel’s life. He’s been hurt by so many people, yet he’s also his own worst enemy because he’s done the same thing to those who he cares about too, ultimately straining or damaging the relationships as a whole. He wonders why no one would want to stay in his life, but deep down, he knows that he doesn’t make it easy for people to love him either. So in order to change that, he needs to believe in himself and trust that he can make a positive effort towards becoming better.

Dark side, I search for your dark side

But what if I’m all right, right, right, right here?

And I cut off my nose just to spite my face

Then hate my reflection, for years and years

Within the next verse, we can connect back to how Angel’s toxic mindset has made a profound impact on himself and his relationships. There’s a big part of him that’s always subconsciously searching for the negative aspects of letting people into his life, and that in itself, is what overpowers his psyche into not recognizing and acknowledging the positive facets as well. These next few lines can be referenced to how he strives to maintain his pornstar persona. The whole concept of Angel Dust is for him to be as appealing and desirable to everyone no matter what because that’s what the public likes to see. But unfortunately, what Angel doesn’t comprehend is that he doesn’t need to overemphasize this “mask” of his because the real, genuine people in his life (such as Molly, Charlie, Cherri, Husk, etc.) love and accept him for who he is internally rather than externally. This lack of understanding can also drive him to act impulsive with his emotions and lash out towards the people he deeply cares about, thereby causing him to feel hatred towards himself and regret the decisions he’s made later on.

I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost

The room is on fire, invisible smoke

And all of my heroes die all alone

Help me hold on to you

The metaphorical meaning behind these next lyrics can connect to how empty and restless Angel feels when he’s by himself. We know that he suffers intense nightmares and drug hallucinations from Valentino, but in this next line: “The room is on fire, invisible smoke”, this allows us to dive deeper into his inner troubles and the emotional turmoil and chaos he’s experiencing from it. He’s known to “burn bridges” and “start fires” with others because like I stated previously, he believes everyone will leave him eventually, so as a result, he shuts people out as a way to cope with this depression and loneliness, knowing that it’s still his fault.

I’ve been the archer, I’ve been the prey

Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?

Here we have the main chorus again, but what’s different is that the word “screaming” is used. This allows us to really see and feel the intensity behind Angel’s emotions. It can almost be viewed as if he’s “crying out for help” and begging for someone, ANYONE, to reach out and stay there with him.

Cause they see right through me

They see right through me

They see right through

Can you see right through me?

They see right through me (2x)

I see right through me (2x)

This next sequence of lyrics is pretty self-explanatory, especially regarding Angel’s famous reputation. Based upon his story arc so far, the internal struggles and hardships Angel has faced throughout life and death have definitely taken a toll on him. Even though he aims to portray this glamorous, charming pornstar personality, characters like Husk can see right through Angel pretty easily and have no issue in calling him out for how fake he’s being. This not only makes Angel very hyper-aware of his mask “slipping away”, but also adds on an extra layer of anxiety and panic he’s feeling from losing control of that facade.

All the king’s horses, all the king’s men

Couldn’t put me together again

‘Cause all of my enemies started out friends

Help me hold on to you

The first line here is a clear reference to the nursery rhyme, Humpty Dumpty, but the next few lines are what really emphasize Angel’s character even more. Angel is not an easy guy to get along with. He knows he can be an asshole and because of that, he’s made many enemies who could’ve potentially stayed as friends in his life if he didn’t push them away. But that doesn’t make him feel as if he’s alone right? After all, Angel Dust is fulfilled with receiving “love” from clients, fans, and Valentino all the time, so that has to mean something, right? This particular mindset is what fuels Angel to continue craving that form of infatuation and attention because it’s what he surrounds himself with every day. However, once that “high” dies down, who does he have waiting there for him at home? No one, because in reality, he IS alone and that terrifies him even more due to the fact that he’s the reason behind these self-destructive tendencies.

I’ve been the archer, I’ve been the prey

Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?

(I see right through me, I see right through me)

Who could stay? (4x)

You could stay

Combat, I’m ready for combat

These final lines of the song play a significant role in how Angel’s perspective on love can change for the future. Like I’ve said prior, Angel has never had anyone show real, genuine interest in him before, that is, until he met Husk. Husk has made it very clear in the beginning that he doesn’t like putting up with anyone’s bullshit. While his gruff, no-nonsense exterior may be off-putting to others, Angel is very attracted to how real Husk is in expressing how he feels and that is exactly the kind of person Angel needs in his life right now. Over some time throughout the series so far, we start to see a closer relationship develop between the two as well, how fond and comfortable they are of each other. This scares Angel because like all of his other relationships and his current predicament with Valentino, he’s afraid that Husk will voluntarily leave or be taken away from him forever. So in order to avoid that, Angel is determined to do everything he can to keep Husk a permanent part of his life.

Overall, Angel is well aware that he’s not an easy person to love, but with Husk, he feels as if he could be the one to truly understand and accept him for who he is. That maybe, and hopefully, Husk will be the one to stay for good❤️

A/n: yalll,, this is soo fucking long I’m so sorry😭 but I absolutely love these two with all my heart, literally on my hands and knees like this 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️ but anywaysss I really hoped you enjoyed it just as much as I loved writing it🥰 PLEASE give me all the feedback you have! I would love to hear everyone’s thoughts and opinions, it would really make my day🥹 Thanks for reading loves!!🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin angel dust #hazbin husk #angel dust #angel dust x husk #huskerdust #hazbin valentino #hazbin alastor #hazbin charlie #hazbin vaggie #nifty hazbin hotel #hazbin lucifer #hazbin vox #hazbin sir pentious #hazbin cherri bomb

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a-world-with0ut-dr34ms · 1 year

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A Graves x Reader x Ghost Love Triangle

As Shadow Company’s second in command, you’ve seen firsthand the kind of man Graves could be, including the kind of man he wanted to be for you. It was a game you two unknowingly played, one that would surely not end well. A quick distraction meant to tame your busy souls. Warm bodies to lie with. Anything other than that was pure fantasy, though you two couldn’t help dreaming...

Future NSFW 18+, Future Angst, Pre-MW2 Events, Fluff, Flirting, Teasing, First Kiss, Romance, Drama, Build-up, Implied FWB, Make-Out Session, Shadow Company!Reader

WC ~ 2k

AO3 Link | Masterlist

A/N (2024): Made a few minor grammatical fixes and touched up some of the sentences that weren't making sense. Hopefully, this reads a lot stronger now! ^.~

A/N: I have never posted on Tumblr like this before; I’m a grade A lurker. But I’m obsessed with this for whatever reason, so now you’re being subjected to my writing. This is chapter one to a longer story that’ll be posted on AO3. Sorry if the characters feel OOC, I’m trying my best with what we got. Please enjoy! (T^T)>

Phillip Graves was as much of an enigma as the rest of the men in Shadow Company.

He could be many things when asked: Confident and self-assured, charismatic and dependable, disciplined and cutthroat, remorseless … as cold and calculated as a well-trained attack dog, or as warm and inviting as a long-time friend. All these personas existed within the commander, ready to be switched on in a single order. A chameleon, true to his craft. He’s grown accustomed to making himself whoever the world needed him to be. Anything that gets the job done.

There was never any mistaking where Graves' thoughts lie, as more than often he'd just admit to them out loud. He accepts that others believe him to be an open book -- easy to read, with little complexity or depth beyond being a good soldier. Being lighthearted and obedient to the right people has worked wonders for him in the past, so he's mastered this façade and uses it well to his advantage. Proudly too.

But for a man so unafraid to be himself, Graves could be surprisingly secretive.

As his second in command, you've seen firsthand the many personas your commander wore, including ones he's worn for you. Most of his tricks and plays you recognized by now, even as you've yet to understand them. Though as of late you’ve watched these many faces of his waver into something unfamiliar. They chip away slowly, each time you surrender yourself to his needs, taking your place beside him in the black of night, when no one's around to see. There, he's created a new façade, for your eyes only.

One that only made things complicated.

When you first began spending your nights together, it was more of a means to an end. It had been months since either of you had the pleasure of someone else's full attention, and lately, you were starting to notice. Shadow Company had grown more acclaimed and busy this past year, making dating pretty impossible. And after a while, anyone starts to look like a good lay if they're not ugly. Unfortunately, it didn't leave you with many options, until you'd caught the starved eye of your very own commander.

You’d hardly been a part of Shadow Company for a month before you’d picked up on Graves' interest in you. He was surprisingly subtle with his flirting, if not predictable. It was the way his eyes lingered on you in quiet moments, his expression turned soft as his lips curved into a charming smile whenever you'd catch him. He could always spot you in a crowded room, always noticing when you were away for too long. He laughed just a little too hard at your jokes and always looked your way first after sharing one himself.

Before long, you found yourself beginning to watch him back.

It was the little details you noticed first. The small cuts on his face from past firefights, how glossy and full of life his blue eyes looked in direct sunlight. Its rays would make a halo over his dirty blond hair, each strand looking clean enough to run your fingers through. He once caught you looking at him lick his lips, something he did often. When your eyes lifted from his mouth to see your superior officer looking dead at you, it shot a bolt of lightning through you. But you didn't look away, perhaps wanting him to see you looking. Taunting him.

Graves didn't say anything at first when he saw you ogling, but you knew he'd made a mental note of it just from the way he smirked afterward. "See something you like?"

"I see you, Commander," you'd said, hoping your glib nature would cover up the embarrassment you felt from getting caught. But Graves was like a shark in the water, and you'd just given him a taste of your blood.

"I see you too, Songbird."

It seems all he needed was that clue that you were interested in him, because it wasn't soon after this when he decided to make his move.

You and the Commander had just finished prepping your mission brief for the other Shadow Company members. By now it was getting late in the night, as the building you two were in was a small facility only authorized personnel could enter. You occupied one of the empty rooms converted into an office space for all the pencil pushers to work out of. They’d all clocked out for the day though, leaving you two alone; and the tension in the air between you had just reached a boiling point.

You stood up from one of the tables in the room, preparing to slip into your coat and call it a night, until you watched the Commander approach you suddenly. You assumed he was getting ready to leave as well, until you noticed his come-hither nature.

“So, you got any plans tonight?”

And just like that, the game was on. You knew right away where this would go and it had your heart already skipping a beat. But you didn't want to jump to conclusions, nor did you want to rush this either. The thrill of the pursuit provided you with a nice little rush.

Wicked as you were, you began to smile.

“Why?” you ask. “Did you have something in mind?”

“I can think of a few things,” he said, behaving purposefully coy, in hopes of getting a rile out of you. He always did enjoy your banter and had no problem doing a little teasing himself when presented with the opportunity.

“Is that right?” you say flirtatiously. “Will I like those “things”, Commander?”

Graves smirks, raising an eyebrow at your comment. Hearing his title roll from your tongue so provocatively brought a sudden twinkle to his eyes. At this point, he didn’t need to guess where your mind was, which only made him more bold.

He chuckles under his breath, taking a few small steps closer, until he’s only an arm's length away. His next play.

He wasn't the tallest man you met but he still managed to tower over you by a few inches, the light from the room casting a shadow over him. This close you could smell the aftershave and cologne he’d used this morning, watching the way his eyes took in every detail of you, pupils dilating, black over-compassing the deep blue of his irises. He leans against the wall and unconsciously licks his lips again.

It was like a switch flipped in him.

“You will.”

You scoff, laughing under your breath at his boldness. You were wondering when he would be. Still, you wanted to poke at him a little more, see how long you could keep him waiting, if not to see if he was being for real. “Cocky as always.”

“Would you like me some other way then?”

You play on his words from earlier. “I can think of a few ways.”

“And what might those ways be, Songbird?”

"You're a smart boy," you hum. "I think you can figure them out. My lips are sealed, otherwise."

Graves steps even closer. He lifts a hand and pushes a stray strand of hair behind your ear. His touch is gentle and surprisingly warm, gliding against you like feathers, his fingers trailing across your jawline and resting beneath your chin. Goosebumps formed where he touched, and you could tell from the doe-eyed look he had that it was doing something to him too, seeing you like this. He takes his hand beneath your chin and lifts your head, forcing you to lock eyes.

"And if I order you to say them?"

His voice was now much lower than before. Sultry. You could feel it in the air he was ready to come in closer, simply waiting for an opportunity to do so that felt right.

Butterflies shot through you like a thick swarm; you didn’t want to let on that his words had you like putty in his hands, though you feared your little lip quiver may have given it away. You instead look down at his lips again, your gaze sullied. You began thinking of all the ways you could close this space between you two and put an end to the tension. The thrill of it all had your adrenaline spiking in all the right ways, simply waiting to see where things go from this point. "Then I won’t listen," you purr.

"Insubordination is rather punishable," he said.

"So is fraternization."

"I can keep a secret." Graves brought his thumb to your lip, lightly running it across, as his eyes lowered to your mouth. He nearly says in a whisper, "Tell me what you’re thinking."

"Let me show you."

His lips slowly come down to yours, kissing you gently. When you pressed your lips back against his, he exhaled pleasurably, tongue grazing your bottom lip. He moves his hand from your chin and curls it to the back of your neck, holding you in place and continuing to tease you with short, velvety pecks. His lips danced against yours with the skill of a seasoned player, clearly experienced in his craft, but it wasn’t until he felt your hands glide against his hips and tug him closer that his kisses grew insatiable.

His grip on the back of your neck tightened, lips pressing harder against yours, feverishly. When the sudden aggression brings a low moan from you, it only makes him push harder, his other hand grabbing the small of your back and roughly pressing himself against you.

His weight causes you to shift backward until he has your back pressed against a wall. Unknowingly, your arm bumps against a nearby filing cabinet on the way there, knocking over a few papers that now littered the floor. Mere background noise to Graves, who only continues, his arms planted on other sides of the wall around you, as his lips trailed down your neck. His kisses reach your collarbone, the sensitive sensation causing you to gasp out a moan. “Graves!”

Hearing his name be moaned out sends him on a personal mission to hear you say it more. He takes his hands and slowly runs them down your body, feeling every bit of you he can through your uniform, before resting them on your thighs. In one swift motion, he then lifts you, taking your legs and straddling them around his waist, as he keeps your back against the wall. He presses himself to you and breathes heavily, rejoining his mouth with yours.

By now you could feel him through his pants, and you pushed yourself against him in response, the grinding motion bringing quiet moans from both of you. That’s when you two suddenly hear footsteps.

At the drop of a hat, you two freeze, going completely silent. The footsteps come from outside the room -- someone walking by in the hallway. A janitor maybe? God forbid it was anyone in the company. You held your breaths for only about a minute, listening to the steps pass by the room until you couldn’t hear them any longer.

The two of you let out a shared sigh, before looking back at one another. Graves had you still pinned to the wall, your legs tucked in his arms. He can’t help but chuckle.

“This probably ain’t the best place for this, darlin'," he spoke. "As much as I want to keep going."

“I don’t know,” you joke. “I like the vibe. It’s very risqué.”

Graves smiles at you. And then, he pauses for a moment. Suddenly his eyes can’t seem to pick a spot he wants to look at on your face. You see something in him change, gears turning in his mind. Thinking of what he might say to you now. Hiding away his vulnerabilities. It makes your own mind begin to ponder.

“See something you like?” you ask him.

“I see you.”

Graves leaned in and kissed you another time, softly. Like you’d been lovers your whole lives. That’s when you realized how truly dangerous your commander could be; for a minute there, you started daydreaming about what tomorrow could bring you both. You wanted to fall for his pretty words. But then you remembered where you were, and who you were with.

This was a game. A mutual distraction. As things stand, thinking that this could be anything else beyond a good lay was purely a fantasy. You almost just lost yourself in it.

And so it goes.

"Your place or mine?”

...Chapter Two Here!

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katapotato55 · 1 year

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how to write teenagers

disclaimer: i am in my 20's. it wasn't too long ago that i was a teenager, but admittingly i am not perfect and there might be errors.

Edit: yes i used psychonauts 2 as an example, this does not mean all examples apply to psychonauts 2. This is a GENERAL writing advice post for people who need help, and this is a collection of tropes that personally annoy me. I am playing psychonauts 2 for the first time (no spoilers not finished with the game yet ) i wont spoil anything but i will say this: the interns are fucking awful. which is bizzare because the child characters from the first game were still side characters, but had so much personality. so here is me ranting about badly written teen characters (In general media) in hopes to prevent this annoying trope

1- teenagers are not sociopathic monsters yes some teenagers are terrible. yes high school bullies are a thing. but guess what? people don't magically become horrible once they turn 13. most teens who put down and bully people have hard home lives. stop with this annoying "lol lets just bully a random stranger for no reason" trope. Its lazy. if you want a good bully character give them a deeper reason then "well teenagers are just awful!" (looking at YOU psychonauts 2)

2- actually talk to teenagers/ write for the era it takes place in while teens have simmular attitudes than previous generations, a lot of how kids in that age group think are dependent on trends. being a teenager is a very sponge-ey time in their lives. Its the part where you are old enough to understand deep topics, but not the nuance of it all. at that age, kids re often trying to learn about the world and... you guessed it, become adults. not all teenagers are rebellious "i am going to do this specifically cus i was told not to" types either. stop writing teenagers like how you saw them in the 80's. not every kid is gonna act like the cast of footloose. In my high school experience, a lot of kids my age were very chill and tended to themselves.

3- did you know that you actually retain your personality when you turn 13 ? and that not every kid is a tik tocker attention whore with a phone? who knew? did you know that SHY teenagers exist? that not all teenagers are insecure mentally insane fucks who have to bend their entire personality and thoughts JUST to get attention and to fit in? its almost as if teenagers are people with different interests and personality traits and not identical mannequins with a self image complex not every teenager is a hot topic dweller who does illegal and stupid shit for no reason. Like adults, teenagers are a tad deeper than that.

4- Teenagers are also naive and stupid sometimes. yes i know I just talked about how old people just write about the parts of teenagers they hate and nothing else, but bear with me. don't write your teen like a shorter adult. instead use this opportunity to grow the character ! this is such a malleable age for them to grow as people and i rarely see anyone utilize this! they are young and dumb and learning about the world! that is perfect breeding ground for writing! why don't people use this more?? good example of this: Homestuck. no i am not going to explan homestuck's plot. I dont have 5 years to write this post. Just know that the characters in that comic utilize the age of the characters well without making them stereotypical "ugh smartphones amirite fellow zoomers?"

5- the age of the kid MATTERS a 13 year old acting like an immature prick? yeah thats normal. people in that age tend to be edgy and annoying. 17 year old acting like an immature prick? that guy is well beyond "immature kid" age and is just a prick. The older the kid, the more impactful their actions are. A tween is more likely to grow out of traits more than a 17 year old. I roll my eyes when i see "bully teen group" trope in shows when the kids are seniors and then they expect me to forgive the kids at the end. NO. you kids are almost 18, that isn't teen angst you are all damn near adults. let me say this again: talk to teenagers if you are unsure how they act. there is a reason why its problematic for a 17 year old to date a 13 year old even though there is only a 4 year gap. teenagers develop QUICKLY as they age. a 13 year old and a 17 year old will have vastly different maturity level while a 30 yr old and a 35 year old will probably be the same level of maturity. age matters. and finally

6- stop being a condescending douche. yes. we get it. its cringe that the 14 year old kid thinks referencing death and depression is "deep" but also fuck off. this kid is growing and trying to become an adult. show some sympathy. yes. i know you think your kid's date isn't as important because said kid is going to grow out of it, but don't condescend your audience: they are at a developing age and while it doesn't matter to you, IT MATTERS TO THEM. I have always hated stuff like the hunger games and divergent. I think they are terrible series specifically made to pander to kids looking for an escapist fantasy. But you know what? these shows were not made for me, because i am not a teenager. let these kids have their fun. and if you are making a show/book/etc for teenagers, then you need to put your contempt for kids aside to actually write for them instead of acting like you are all high and mighty. (an example of this done wrong: every bad boomer comic in existence) and honestly ? if you are middle aged and you are putting down someone 1/4 your age for just exiting, it's not impressive. It's sad and pathetic and you need to rethink your life. and yes, i know people put down homestuck for being... homestuck, but homestuck has a wonderful portrayal of teenagers and how they really act. give it a read if you have literally all the freetime in the world. don't read beyond the epilogues tho. HS^2 is dead to me. thank you for reading my bullshit homies.

#writing advice #character writing #character building #teenagers #writing tips #writing #creative writing #writers #psychonauts 2 #writer on tumblr #how to write #writer tips #writing help #fanfic #fanfiction

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mamimiou · 2 months

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hi this is re: roier but too long for a reply !

ive been out of qsmp for awhile and don't pay attention anymore but i wanna just like . place this quietly into the conversation lmfao... when i was watching and seeing things fans posted, i noticed roier is routinely feminized (a combo of misogyny/homophobia + racism) he's placed as "the woman" in the spiderbit relationship constantly in fan art etc. roier as a person irl isn't particularly feminine, but bc he's expressive and openly queer and not white, he's placed as Less Than and under more scrutiny constantly . there's a lot of complex things happening but the usamerican portion of the qsmp world does a lot of heavy lifting in misconstruing roier's character (too flirty, bad parent, too cruel, too harsh, slutty, the wife, whatever else he's gotten that i haven't seen) . so. if he's the woman of the relationship, and Women Belong To Their Husbands, well. they couldn't possibly see roier with anyone else, and it's his fault if others make advances. it's very strange to witness

I feel like I have just received a new point of view right now, and it has blown my mind away to the point where I need this plastered over Twitter (which won’t happen since it is HELL out there).

I have never thought of it this way because I never saw him like that but you are so right now that I put more thought into it ;-;. They really do see him as the woman of the relationship, and I’m pretty sure that it’s something subconscious for all of them (but not all).

Thank you so much for this, really. To me, this makes the most sense for this possessive behavior. Idk if you have read the comments in my last post but someone tweeted out this when talking about why they can’t see roier with someone else “SAME HERE but I have a theory! You know how you ship the character you relate to with the caracter you're attracted to? We probably relate to Cellbit so we ship him with everyone we like, and we're jealous of "our" partner being with others.... just a theory!” And to me that was already something, but this, this is something that I can totally see behind the reason for it all.

The amount of times that I had to read people blaming him for people flirting with him, just even receiving compliments really, but had to witness those same people laugh and make jokes about slime ACTIVELY going after cellbit, is insane.

I totally agree with you btw. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. As someone who watches him constantly I can agree with you, his character is actively feminine. It just stinks having your favorite character being seen like this, it makes me so upset sometimes I just want him to be FREE lol. I don’t think that people stop drawing him in this small, feminine way, until like purgatory maybe? Because well, he’s a strong character.

Everyone knows how flirty he is, but it was expected to go away as soon as he got married. And he never means harm :/ it’s just the way he is. It is very strange to watch people get possessive over him, and I feel like this will ultimately lead to the ship ending. Heartbreaking. If people actually knew his character, they’d know he hates betrayal so it makes no sense for them to get tilted over ships.

Sometimes you just want to have honest conversations about the characters, and Twitter isn’t the place because then they accuse you of hating the CCs which isn’t the case ☹️.

But wow, this explanation could actually be the reason behind it. Thank you for this, it like opened my third eye or something. I need this plastered on a build board for all to see.

#qsmp #qsmp roier #spiderbit

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deliciousdefendorinternet · 9 days

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Okay, this has honestly been in the back of my mind for years now, but I feel like I must ask. Did anyone else feel an immense feeling of anger/discomfort when Poppy brought the entire village into Branch's bunker? Because I did. When I first saw it, I felt uncomfortable. And to this day, I get the ick thinking about it. Like, I get why she did it, and I understand that it was the safest thing to do for the village, but like... I can't explain just how upsetting it was to me. Branch is a better person than I am, because if it were me, just... no. And she didn't even ask properly! And then had the audacity to say it was a solid burn returned like??? No? No it wasn't? That was a home invasion, not a snipe back at him, what? In what world is his comment on her life skills even remotely on the same level as her just letting the ENTIRE VILLAGE in his house? And they weren't even good houseguests either! They IMMEDIATELY started messing with his stuff, like, have these trolls never heard of proper guest etiquette? Look, I love Poppy, but she can seriously get on my nerves a lot. Especially since the movies made it so that in the end, she doesn't really learn much because her screw ups have a way of completely disappearing with little to no consequences.

To add to this, anyone else feel like when rewatching the first Trolls movie, that Branch was in the right, and that he was done so dirty by so many? Like, the ukulele scene. As a kid, I did think Branch was being rude, but now? Those 2 were literally out in the woods, with who knows what out there. Poppy literally got her friends kidnapped by a BERGEN literally the DAY BEFORE, and she's going back to singing loudly? Like, Poppy, babe, are you TRYING to die? Her whole song just shows how much plot armor Poppy has because, seriously? Not to mention, trolls are tiny, so her singing could genuinely put a target on them. I feel like the only reason Branch didn't up and say this is because it probably should be common knowledge, but apparently, pop trolls don't really have much common sense. I really wish they had Branch explain it though, because as a kid, I thought him to be a killjoy and unnecessarily bossy. But now? Yeah, I can see why singing in the forest when you're tiny might not be the best idea. Makes me wonder just how the pop trolls survived all this time?

I love Poppy, I really do. She's fun, nice, and is a complex protagonist (who is awesome and not a Mary Sue, though the same can't be said for TBGO/Trollstopia Poppy) whose character development is very visible. However, the writers really focus more on Branch's character development than hers and focus more on finding new ways to traumatize him than finding ways to make Poppy more mature, and that's what really bugs me about Poppy's character.

I really wanna start a petition for DreamWorks to lay off Branch for once and give Poppy more attention. I'm not asking to all out traumatize her (though the idea of DreamWorks giving her the Branch Treatment is funny in the mean way) but it would be nice if they gave her another journey where she has to learn and grow, and for there to be consequences that aren't easily waved away by a song and dance. TWT did a decent job at it (it could have been better, but it was a start), and I really need DreamWorks to do something like that (but better, obviously) again.

That being said, I do like how they handled Broppy. They went from rival/strangers to friends to lovers. It didn't happen instantly, and the progression of the relationship didn't feel rushed or forced. They both have an equal standing in the relationship and are supportive of each other. It's cute, and I'm glad DreamWorks at least got that right.

This should have probably been separate asks, but oh well. YOLO or whatever. I just really wanna know your thoughts.

I'm mostly of the same mind it angers me but I get why she did it I feel at the very least she should have told everyone to behave themselves and not act like they were teenagers throwing a house party while their parents were away for the night.

some people have said that maybe she did in on purpose to pressure Branch into going with her but I prefer to think that wasn't the case because in my opinion that would be straight up villainous.

a Royal abusing their power to put pressure on a civilian to Risk their life to rescue a group of your friends who are in danger due to your incompetent leadership.

not to mention a civilian who she knows is more terrified of the Bergens than anyone else in the village.

yeah that would make her an out and out villain imo so I prefer to think that wasn't her intention.

I don't feel its so bad it needs to be changed in the story overall but I would have liked it had Branch actually called her out on it.

basically just have him angrily point out to her after she acts like it wasn't a big deal because it was just a bunch of old Junk. that it wasn't just a place to him it was his home and that wasn't just a load of old Junk it was stuff he worked hard for years to make and it made him feel safer it was the only place he actually felt safe and like he could relax.

maybe prompting Poppy to actually give a more genuine apology as before she just thought of his home as him being over the top for the sake of it.

since she and the village just viewed him as a Drama queen and she didn't really realise his fears were actually so genuine that the Bunker actually mattered to him that deeply.

part of me thinks the intent by the writers was for her consequences in the first film to be being betrayed by Creek who she cared about but yeah that whole thing could have been handled better.

her and her dads leadership put him in danger and he literally said what he had to say in order to avoid being eaten alive he didn't really have any agency in the betrayal.

so Poppy's somber pleas for him to not go through with it kinda make me mad tbh like this whole situation is your fault yet my guy Creek is expected to die because of it.

so your incompetent dad can live? yeah no.

also if you made that Petition for Branch I'd totally sign it 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

and I agree Poppy deserves some more focus and development tho a touch of angst for her I think could maybe be a good thing in making her character stronger.

like I've said before maybe having Peppy die in a future film and her at first trying to ignore her grief by focusing on her queen duties and slapping on her usual smile worrying both Branch and Viva.

or having her mother turn up in the future like some fans have suggested only for her to be a selfish villain who couldn't care less about Poppy and Viva.

and this is the proper shock to Poppy's "" family is always great "" mentality as even with Bro zone they worked things out in the end making her think no family could be entirely broken.

but her mother literally doesn't give a shit if her children live or die and she maybe abandoned them both when Poppy was a baby.

drawing a little contrast with Branch only for the mother to have zero remorse since she didn't want children and maybe she was only with Peppy for status as royalty.

and Bro zone could be shown as being more remorseful over the past even a while after the events of TBT which contrasts with Poppy's mom kinda nicely.

anyway I'm getting off topic a bit lol but yeah I agree Poppy needs more focus and Branch's needs to be picked on less by the writers.

but I feel a touch of angst directed Poppy's way could give her some good development and make her a stronger character overall.

edit. also as someone who doesn't like Hugs Poppy's smug stunt with the Hug time Bracelets does make me a little mad like tell the Trolls to Respect people's Boundaries Girl.

#trolls #dreamworks trolls

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ya-killin-me-smalls · 5 months

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THANK YOU for acknowledging 2Bmos because they have been on my mind forever but no one seems to even look at them..? HRURJ,,,, as characters they're different in all the right ways and I think it brings great potential to the table.

it's so neglected like. I think it's possibly the least popular ship out of the main four?? content is scarce regardless but I have So Many Thoughts about these two it's wild

like I could see them starting out as a more fwb situation because a relationship just isn't something either thinks they have time to pursue and maintain. and at the beginning it's a comfortable dynamic. Doc isn't made responsible for someone else's emotional well-being and Deimos doesn't feel obligated to open up to anyone or give consistent attention on days when he's feeling cagey. and of course, there's the benefit of having a casual makeout buddy that can hold a conversation

over time both of them end up catching feelings but neither acts on it or says anything because they don't wanna ruin what they already have going on and cripplingly low self-esteem has them convinced the other wouldn't reciprocate

doesn't stop them from getting closer regardless, more affectionate, more attached. before they know it, they're full on dating but haven't addressed the elephant in the room, certain that this is normal fwb behavior and that it shouldn't be taken seriously. it doesn't mean anything. and if they aren't saying anything, then everyone else sure as hell isn't

they're incredibly domestic when they have the time, even if that time is long conversations over coffee together outside on the balcony at 2am on a tuesday. conversations range from adhd-fueled deep dives into complex topics, to quiet side-by-side time where neither really speaks, just enjoying being in the other's presence

Doc makes an effort to curb Deimos's smoking habits but not in the lecture-y "you shouldn't do that it's bad for you sorta way." he always offers caffeine when Deimos stops by his office and leaves a convenient selection of pens, a rubik's cube, and other things to fidget with if it so pleases him

you would think shacking up with the boss would earn him a negative rep with the rest of the SQ, but on more than one occasion Deimos has come back from a single day in the field painted red with blood, manic grin still in place. so even if there are opinions floating around about their situation, people know to keep it to themselves and not risk it getting back to Deimos

does the L-word ever leave either's lips? possibly not. they are possibly that stupid combined. doesn't matter though. it's an arrangement that makes them both happy and that's all they care about

#I think Doc is Deimos's gay awakening except he didn't wake up until someone pointed it out to him #like someone mentioned it and he was like ?? 'I'm not gay??' and they just. stared at him #because how can you say that with a straight (no pun intended) face #anon I'm glad I'm not alone on this stupid little boat because I adore them so much #madness combat #madcom #deimos #2bdamned #2bmos #headcanons #asks #my headcanons

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thyandrawrites · 1 year

Note

about the "Enji's atonement isn't genuine because he only changes after he becomes number one and not at literally any other point" thing..

I've seen a similar argument were some people will blame Touya for still wanting his dad's attention after the Shouto incident and Ray's hospitalisation. And that supposedly "proves" he didn't care about them!! (though this is probably just a result of hori fucking up the timeline of which incident happened first)

I'm not good with putting my feelings into words, I just know that I get a vague feeling of "the first one is right" and "the second is wrong" but I can't explain it beyond "Touya was a child"

So I wanted to see what your opinion is..

I don't think we can compare those two situations, because the circumstances are completely different.

Enji turns to family to soothe his wounded pride and his guilt, and thus to find a way out from the consequences of his actions. It's a selfish deflection from his responsibilities as a father and a husband, and it's ultimately catered towards making himself feel better. But the fact that he feels guilt tells he's aware that he wasn't acting in their best interest; he's aware that he made his family suffer for his egotistical ambitions. Yet, he, an adult man fully in control of his actions, abused them with intent and purpose for years, knowing it was wrong and doing it anyway, because their well-being came second to fulfilling his ambitions. Separating Shouto from his siblings wasn't an oopsie, it was a deliberate decision to isolate him from the jealousy of his siblings (mainly Touya's). Locking Rei away in a mental hospital wasn't an involuntary action; he signed papers, so it was a choice, and he even tells us on screen that he did it because his wife "damaged" his masterpiece. Heck, Enji even knew that having more children after Fuyumi would crush Touya (and Rei reminded him of it too) but he went with it anyway. No one made Endvr abuse his family for years—it was always Enji choosing to put his ambitions over anything else, even when he knew he should've stopped a long time ago.

How is that different from Touya?

Well, for one Touya was born into a dysfunctional family, and had no other choice but to live with the circumstances he was saddled with. He did not choose to be the heir of Enji's ambitions, nor did he choose to be brainwashed from birth into having no sense of self outside of the "worthiness" he could glean from having a strong and "suitable" quirk.

So, for one, saying that he didn't care about his family because he shows signs of dysfunctional relationships with them is an empty statement at best and a malicious misreading at worst. The entire Todoroki family is dysfunctional. Touya is not more responsible than anyone else simply because he abides by the broken dynamics and established patterns of behavior he sees in the house. It doesn't make sense to single him out like that unless someone is trying to attribute more faults on him alone and thus paint him as more callous than the others, which imho is just plain character bashing. The fact that Touya cares about family (and I'm saying family, not just Enji) is proven by chapter 350. When he wakes up from a three year long coma, his first thought is to go back home and apologize to everyone for the way they separated on bad terms. If he didn't care about them, he wouldn't be thinking of straightening things out. He wouldn't care about how much they must've been worrying for him in his absence. He would simply move forward and leave them behind. But he doesn't.

Secondly, the argument that Shouto's accident should've changed Touya's opinion of Enji imho is rooted in a misunderstanding of Touya's character. A lot of people seem to forget that Touya always had a love/hate relationship with his dad, and that the feelings he had towards the man were often contradictory, layered and complex. He was aware that Enji considered him a failure and avoided him, and he still made excuses ("he must've been busy") for him whenever Enji didn't show up. He lamented to Natsuo that Enji selfishly made "all these children he doesn't need" while also spending countless days training alone and collecting scars to earn the man's love. He blamed Enji and Rei for staging his birth to have a perfect chimera child to beat All Might, and still wanted to be that child who would crown his father's ambitions.

So. Considering how Touya knows his family is messed up, and how pain became such an everyday aspect of that fucked up reality for him that he's carefree in inflicting pain on himself to earn love… all in all, I don't see why anyone expects Touya to be the pinnacle of healthy and conflict-free relationships. It's almost like the fact that he was a traumatized teenager dealing with strong emotions he never learned to properly regulate goes completely over people's heads.

#Ali replies #Bnha #My post #Todoroki touya

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onglai · 3 months

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On Ali and self-worth

Ali is a character that I never thought I'd relate so much with. On first viewing all those years ago when the show came out, Ejen Ali was nothing more than a superhero cartoon show. While this wouldn't be the first time we've gotten a nuanced and complex characters in Malaysian animation history (Keluang Man, Anak-anak Sidek, Bola Kampung), Ejen Ali surprised me a lot when I went to rewatch it last year.

If you ask 16 year old me what kind of person Ali is, I'd describe him as a kindhearted and heroic kid who'll help anyone in need.

If you ask the current me, those are all still true... but in addition to that what I also see is a troubled kid who needs hugs. Lots of them.

This is going to be long.

Season 1

On the first few episodes, the show establishes Ali as a problem child. Right from the start, he is shown to be disorganized, lazy, and every undesirable quality you could imagine. His dad is distant, his mom is dead, and the only thing holding this miserable gremlin together is his sweet, sweet best and only friend Viktor.

And then comes this magical device that turns his life upside down and he lives happily ever after... not.

You know the phrase money doesn't corrupt but only amplifies what's already in someone's heart? Well, IRIS is the money in this case, and it amplifies Ali's inner insecurity. The first thing this little gremlin does after obtaining IRIS is to use it to get good marks and impress his classmates and teacher.

Being an emotionally neglected child he naturally craves attention, and nothing satisfies him more than when people give him exactly that no matter how. This ultimately reaches its climax when Ali uses his newfound fame during S1E10: Sensasi to farm his fans' adoration. He learns his lesson at the end of the episode, but this won't be the last time he goes out of his way to seek for others' approval.

This is why Rizwan is such an important figure in Ali's life. Regardless of the man's opinion towards him, Ali sees him as someone worth idolizing. The best agent in MATA, Charismatic to boot, the man is everything Ali wishes to be. And good for him, Rizwan is the perfect teacher.

Guy teaches Ali disciplines, doesn't put up with his childish sense of entitlement, and very much treats Ali like he'd do anyone. For the first time in Ali's life, someone actually sees him as his own person and doesn't demean nor overhype him.

Season 2

In this season, Ali meets the junior agents for the first time, and upon learning that they idolized him, he grows a bigger head. He starts pushing Alicia away, the only person who's looking out for his safety (her wanting to meet her dad's expectation is a discussion for another day).

Now, all this time Ali has actually been praised as an agent. He had his bad moments, but for the most part he believes himself to have contributed a lot to the agency, which isn't inaccurate. But this belief is what resulted in him doubling down in his insecurity when the mentors pointed out his flaws during his training with the other agents. He's already a nobody at school, and now comes another realization that he might also be a nobody compared to the other agents if not for IRIS.

This is where things take turn for the worse.

Again, Ali seeks to prove himself by disobeying the mentors and drags his new friends along as well. This turns out to be a bad idea when Ali watches Rizwan betray the agency and in his anguish starts attacking everyone after activating Override Mode. He later tries to deflect the blame towards IRIS which only makes the other agents hate him more.

Coupled with Rizwan's desertion and that he already burned his bridge with Alicia, he didn't have anyone to turn to anymore. In his pursuit for approval, he loses everything. This is the lowest point in his life.

Thankfully, Zain gets through to him and makes him see his worth beyond his skills, that he's helped a lot more people than anyone else has. This is a bandaid to the larger issue at hand, but it rekindles his spirit enough he can stand on two feet again.

On the flip side however, Alicia later choosing to stand by his side is likely the first time he receives (a form of) affection despite not doing anything to earn it. This is something that he'll finally learn later on during the movie.

Regardless, with Alicia's help, Ali began to take accountability for his actions and reformed his friendships with the other agents.

Movie

This movie is what happens when all of Ali issues accumulate to the point of no return.

This movie starts off with Ali realizing that he's no longer worth anything as an agent. Or rather, he's no longer the main character in the grand scheme of things. Feeling himself having been replaced by more experienced agents, this is where Ali adopts a new crutch to lean on... his mom's legacy.

On top of IRIS, a crutch that he's been holding onto to prove his worth, Ali is also burdened with Zain's expectation of him from the previous season. His excuse is that he wants to help people, which may be true to some extent, but it's obvious from the get-go that it's only one manifestation of his insecurity and self-worth issue. After all, if his MATA agent shtick doesn't have a point anymore, why not quit and start over.

Niki, whether she realizes it or not, capitalizes on this and convinces Ali to join her side. It doesn't help that the people from the slum see and appreciate what he's doing for them, which further incentivises him into staying. His growing resentment towards MATA and the likes of Dato' Othman pushes him further towards deserting the agency altogether. Alicia being his friend warned him of MATA's suspicion of him, but it's too late by then.

We've established before that for Ali, love and adoration always has to be earned before. In an ironic fashion, he runs away from Alicia, the one person who's stood by his side in his lowest point, to seek protection from someone he sees as a mother figure... who just so happens to only see him as a useful tool so long as he contributes to the slum. There is also a reverse-elitist undertone with how Niki treats him which is... yikes.

Niki betrays him and this slaps Ali hard in a lot of ways.

I wouldn't say Alicia's pep talk when they're trying to escape later is any better, cause god, ugh. Both of you need therapists. But for what it's worth, she teaches him one very valuable lesson; that he isn't alone. He has her, he has Bakar, he has so many people who care for him despite him being blind towards them.

Remember when Alicia stood by him in season 2? Well, she does it again and shows Ali that yes, love and loyalty doesn't need to be constantly earned. This is the turning point to Ali's worldview where he stops equating his worth to his usefulness.

At the end of the movie, Ali willingly gives up IRIS to make up for his mistake. But at the same time, we can see that he is much more confident in himself. He still has a need to prove himself, but starting from here, he does it in a much healthier way, as we can see in the following season.

Season 3

This is when Ali starts having a purpose. All this time, he's letting everyone else decide his worth, but after the events of the movie, he begins looking inward for acceptance of all that he is.

He knows he's weak, he knows he still has a lot to improve, so he focuses on that with his mother as his goal post.

Throughout the season, we can see Ali stumbling and standing up again. When he's caught in a hitch, he looks for help from others. This isn't something the old whiny Ali would've done. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, he picks himself up and strives to be a better version of himself.

From his new maturity, he also manages to resist peer pressure and doesn't antagonize the international agents like his friends do. It's no surprise that he ends up connecting with Sam the most, a direct reflection of his past insecurities. Of course he'd relate to a kindred spirit and help the guy climb out of the hell he's been through himself all his life.

When Ali loses IRIS to Alicia in the end, it is the best outcome anyone could've hoped for. Not because Alicia deserves it which she does, but because it symbolizes the end of Ali's dependency on cool shiny gadgets to make himself look like a somebody. Because he is already a somebody.

Conclusion

Ali's character growth throughout the series is simply phenomenal.

You know the Ali in season 1 and season 3 are the same characters but if you put them side by side you'll see that they're anything but. They're too different.

Ali's journey as a character may have been riddled with hiccups, but it's those exact hiccups that make us appreciate the person he's become.

Is he perfect? No. He's still flawed as any 12 year old is. He'll learn in time and that's okay.

#ejen ali #ali ghazali #character study

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anxious-witch · 6 months

Text

Inertia 3

Summary: Newton's first law expresses the principle of inertia: the natural behavior of a body is to move in a straight line at constant speed. In the absence of outside influences, a body's motion preserves the status quo.

Jan choose a direction of his life the moment he walked out of his parents house and cut all contact with them. He didn't want anything to do with them, or God anymore. Even his soulmark he wished he could leave behind. But when Nace Jordan joins the band, with a mark matching his own, can Jan keep going the same way he did? Or will the force make him change a direction?

Pairings: Jan Peteh/Nace Jordan

Warnings: Mentions of pretty severe insomnia, very heavy religious trauma, a character kind of having God complex during sex, smut, slight mentions of hallucinations caused by sleep deprivation, vomiting

Notes:

AO3 Link

I am still reeling from the last night's concert so y'all get an update a bit early. Beware that there is smut in this chapter, although not very detailed, but just to give heads up. Also check warnings in the end notes if religion is a sensitive topic. Anddd I'll have to add vomiting as a tag if anyone is sensitive to that. This one is pretty angsty

The corruption begins with the mouth, the tongue, the wanting.

The first poem in the world

is I want to eat.

Erica Jong, from "Where It Begins," Fruits & Vegetables: Poems By Erica Jong (Holt, 1971)

Jan tried to heed Kris' advice. He was polite to Nace, and made sure there was always, always another person there. He stopped himself from staring at him and avoided eye contact altogether.

Nace, for his part, didn't seem to push once he saw Jan was always keeping a barrier between them. Instead, he seemed to befriend everyone else.

Literally everyone else.

It started with Bojan. He was the easiest target, after all. Always so friendly and trusting. Nace paid attention to when Bojan felt insecure and anxious and simply did his best to encourage him. Or distract him. Jan could still taste his own bitterness at the prospect. They all did that for Bojan, of course, but it was primarily something Martin used to do. Who was Nace to try and replace him, not only as a bassist, but to try and fill out his spot in their friend group?

Bojan didn’t seem to mind it, though. He seemed thankful, if anything so Jan kept his mouth shut. Bojan tended to befriend everyone, anyway. Not that big of a deal.

Next was Jure.

Jan didn’t expect them to get along. Jure could be unpredictable, with ideas so chaotic even Jan would be horrified at. It often caused Kris headaches with multiples injuries Jure came to practice with. He really thought there was no chance of Nace being able to handle that. Jure couldn’t be stopped in his ideas, once he had them.

Except, Nace didn’t even try to do that. He simply let Jure have his crazy ideas, and simply helped him pick up the pieces. He was there to patch him up or offer to drive him home. He built Jure’s trust in him and as the rest of them, slowly uncovered a tamer side of him. When Jan saw Jure fall asleep on Nace’s shoulder after one practice, he knew Nace won him over.

Kris was the last one to fall under Nace’s spell. It took a bit more time than with the others. Kris was more reserved sort. That was part of the reason he and Jan got along so well. They both like to analyzed the situation and the person before making any decisions.

But Nace knew what he was doing. He knew it very well. He made sure to memorize their schedule and help Kris manage them when needed. Kris got stressed easily over it, especially when one was late-and truth to be told, Jan was aware that was usually him-so when he did, Nace gently took over to make a new schedule. Which Kris was certainly always grateful for.

The true turning point though, was after a long day of practice, where their producer ripped their new piece apart. It was necessary and they were all grateful, but it took a tool. Bojan was anxious over not writing a good enough song, Jure was crashing hard due to his lack of sugar, and Kris was out of his mind over how fixing everything will impact their schedule and if they had enough time for everything.

Jan was doing his best to walk Bojan through the breathing exercise that helped him with his anxiety. He tried not to fall under the stress like the rest of them did. If Bojan had a breakdown, they were all fucked. The rest, they could deal with.

Then Nace appeared. He gave Jure a chocolate bar, nodded at Bojan and Jan and told Bojan he would drive him home. The he handed Kris his correct coffee order and said they can go over schedule together tomorrow. Jan had never seen a look of such pure relief on Kris’ face as he did then. Nace gently smiled at him, and Kris smiled back.

In that moment, Jan knew for certain that he lost, once again. Nace gained Kris’ trust. Which left him alone in his suspicion. And he was more suspicious than ever. Why was Nace trying so hard to be liked? It was ridiculous notion. He had to have a reason for it. No one was that nice.

Jan refused to give in.

It all came to a head in late November. Streets were cold, Jan could see his breath as he walked to the studio. For Joker Out, there was no time busier than now.

They were in a competition to be Slovenian's Eurovision entry and the 8th of December was growing closer. They were under a lot of pressure. Especially Bojan.

But as the date grew closer, the rest of them began to feel it, too. Jan's terrible sleeping habits certainly got worse.

Having insomnia sucked enough under normal circumstances, but having it under stress, which caused headaches which made him unable to fall asleep even more. It drove him insane.

Others tried to help him. Kris bought all sorts of calming teas, Jure researched ways to help him sleep and installed an app with calming sounds on his phone. Bojan even went as far as to learn some scalp massage, which felt nice, but only helped him with an one hour nap.

Still, none of it solved an actual problem of Jan feeling like the nervous energy was cursing through him like electricity. Worse yet, not sleeping more than two or three hours a night started to affect him.

His brain felt fuzzy and slow. Like was trying to stretch out a gum. Even his movements were slower. It made him more irritable, too.

When Bojan put his legs in his lap and began talking mile an hour, Jan felt his temper rise. It wasn’t something he usually minded, but with how hard it was to concentrate on anything today, Bojan’s pointless chattering got on his nerves quickly.

“And then Jure jumped over the stream and almost fell in. I was laughing so hard I almost fell in the stream and-“

“Bojan, just be fucking quiet for once.”

There was a stunned silence after Jan snapped at him. Bojan bit his lip and slowly pulled his legs from Jan’s lap. Jan massaged his temples.

“Sorry,” Bojan mumbled before leaving.

Jan felt more than he saw Kris glaring at him before he went after Bojan, probably to comfort him. Jan really couldn’t bring himself to care. His head was pounding and all he wanted was to be able to fall asleep. He could apologize and make amends once he felt like a human being again.

They continued the practice soon after. Unfortunately, the lack of sleep also made Jan more prone to mistakes. Which in turn irritated him more. In the end, Bojan ended the practice early, which was rare these days, due to busy schedule.

"Okay, let's stop here for the day. Jan, please try to get some sleep. We really need to perfect this bit by the end of the week."

Jan cursed and hastily put his guitar down before storming to the bathroom. He cupped his hands and poured water over them. Then took a deep breath and simply shoved his face in the ice-cold water.

He completely let himself feel the cold water on his burning face. He held his breath underwater for as long as he could stand and then opened his mouth to let out a silent scream into the water. Stupid insomnia. Stupid, useless body unable to even give him proper amount of sleep.

He waited for long enough to assume the others probably left. Gave them a chance to escape. It was clear he wasn’t in a good mood and as much as they were aware of how he got when he had insomnia…it was always an unpleasant surprise when he got this bad.

It was best to stay away from him in those moments.

Unfortunately, when he came back to properly put his guitar and equipment away, Nace was there. Jan really, really wasn't in the mood to be polite.

"What the fuck are you still doing here?"

To Nace's credit, he barely flinched at his harsh tone. He eyed him carefully and held up his hands.

"You seemed unwell, I...I just wanted to see if I can help in any way. You probably shouldn't drive."

Jan's laugh was sharp and humorless. Help in any way? He could have helped by fucking leaving.

"No. You can't help. And fuck you, I can drive."

He tried to push past him, but Nace grabbed his shoulder. Jan felt a tingle go up his spine, so he did the only thing he could think of in that moment.

He pushed back, hard enough to fully pin Nace against the wall. Their faces were few inches away. Jan could see emotions flashing over Nace's face. Surprise, shock, fear, anger. Then finally settling on a calm, patient mask he always wore.

Jan seethed.

"What the fuck," he hissed, "do you think you are doing?"

Nace calmly met his gaze. Something about his perfect calm made Jan want to punch him. Rip him apart until he got something than that perfect niceness and calmness.

"I told you. I want to help you. Let me help you.”

Jan didn't have enough brain power to unpack that statement. Why would he want to help him at all, after the past several weeks? What even made him think Jan wanted him to help?

Nace’s eyes briefly flickered from his eyes to his lips and then back. Finally, things clicked for Jan. Nace wasn’t trying to help him. He wanted to fuck him.

He stared at Nace blankly for a second, considering his options. In truth, he didn't want to go home in another futile attempt to sleep.

And as much as knew this was a bad idea...he didn't see a good enough reason to resist. Nace wasn't going to find out about the soulmark and Jan wasn't going to give him any fake hopes this would be anything but a one night stand.

He stepped forward and grabbed Nace by his lapels, pinning him hard to the wall. Nace's lips began to form a question, but Jan kissed him before he could utter it.

He kissed him hard enough to bruise. Enough to hurt. And yet Nace groaned into his mouth and kissed him back. That dispelled any worries Jan might have had about reading the situation wrong.

Nace gripped Jan's shoulders and pulled him closer. The kiss was electric. Jan kept kissing him like he was trying to devour him.

His anger and aggression shifted and changed into lust so quickly, like a predator sinking it’s teeth into the prey. This was one time he'd allow himself to have this. The closest he'd ever allow himself to feel that soulmate pull, so he might as well make the most of it.

Nace opened so nicely for him. Let him rearrange him as he pleased, only slightly pushing away to catch his breath.

His pupils were blown wide, almost swallowing the brown of his irises. Jan began kissing down his jaw, to his neck and Nace shivered.

"Jan-wait, what are we do-"

"Fucking, preferably. Unless you changed your mind?"

He briefly pulled back, watching Nace's reaction carefully. Despite his manhandling, there was a line he wouldn't cross. Nace shook his head.

"No. No, I didn't change my mind but maybe we could just, um. Move this somewhere else?"

He supposed that was a good point. They didn't have a couch in the studio for no reason. He tugged Nace to it wordlessly, and tried not to trip over all the cables that were all over the floor.

Jan wasn't sure how they both manage to fit on the couch, more or less horizontally. All he knew was that he found himself on top of Nace, with his hands underneath the older’s shirt and his knee in between Nace’s legs. When he tried to pullhis shirt off, though, Nace grabbed his wrist to stop him.

“No?”

“No,” Nace said and pulled him down for another kiss. Which was an end to that conversation.

Jan wasn’t deterred, though. He stroked Nace’s chest by pulling his hands underneath his shirt. The way Nace moaned his name at that made something hot and possessive curl around Jan's chest. He traced his lips and teeth down his throat, wanting to hear him make that sound over and over again.

His hand slipped under Nace's waistband and the groan Nace made when he touched him echoed through Jan. Fuck, he was so hot. The older man practically trembled under his touch and Jan felt powerful.

Powerful like a God. What was a soulmate pull in comparison to the power he held over Nace now? He was unaware of it and yet he went with this so willingly. Despite all of Jan’s rudeness and hostility, Nace still wanted him, still gave in like this to him.

Jan felt drunk with power, with knowledge of this. He bit at the junction between Nace’s neck and shoulder. Nace’s entire body shuddered.

“Fuck, Jan, please…”

As much as Jan wanted to take him apart and do much more than this, he wasn't exactly carrying condoms and lube in his pockets. Perhaps they should make merch condoms for these situations.

Which left him with limited options. But judging by Nace expression, it wouldn't take much to take him over the edge.

"Look at me," Jan said.

His voice came out much rougher than he expected. Nace immediately opened his eyes and Jan felt like he was soaring through the depths in his eyes. Like a God, deciding mortal’s fate. He sped up movements of his hand and that pulled another broken moan from the man under him. Jan didn’t look away for a moment and soon Nace’s expression scrunched up in pleasure and he came, going boneless in Jan’s grasp.

Jan took the opportunity to just stare at him for a few moments longer while he was still allowed. The way Nace's face was both flustered and relaxed. His lips were bruised and Jan wondered if his own were just as bad.

He did not think about any words like beautiful, or holy. That would give him way too much power.

He reached for the napkins to wipe off his hand and Nace, as much as he could. Nace choose that moment to come down from his high. He stared back at Jan and there was an odd sort of tension between them. Jan should probably say something, but before he could, Nace got an oddly determined look to his eyes. He reached out to grasp Jan’s waist and flipped them over.

It was Jan's turn to be blindsided. He knew Nace was strong in theory, but in practice, it was terrifying to be manhandled like that. He immediately pushed back, but to no avail.

"What are you-"

"You didn't come. So I am fixing that."

Jan wanted to protest and say it was alright, but Nace kissed him before he could. He stroked Jan over his pants and-fuck, okay maybe he shouldn't have concentrated solely on Nace. Because now, he was left with Nace's full attention on him.

The sense of power got flipped, too and Jan found himself powerless all of a sudden. Nace held the power that was his only moments ago and Jan wasn’t sure how to regain it.

He couldn't quite hold back a moan when Nace pulls his pants and underwear down and began stroking him. All Jan could do was pull away from the kiss and bite his lip so hard he tasted blood. He wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he affected him.

This was why he preferred picking up people he didn't know for one night stands and fucking them in a way that they'd barely get to touch him.

He hated this. He hated the way Nace gently kissed his neck and touched him in a way Jan had no control over.

Not that it didn't feel good, but Jan felt his thoughts spiraling. Every sound that got ripped out of him spoke of vulnerability he didn't want to give anyone, let alone Nace. In that moment he hated him more than he hated anyone. For taking away his power once again. For expecting Jan to like it.

He was so tangled in his conflicting thoughts pleasure caught up with him unexpectedly and he finally came with a gasp, burying his face in the couch cushion. He did his best to get his breathing under control and to fight against how his body felt like lead all of a sudden.

For once, he thought he was winning, but of course Nace had to go and take that too. He just kept taking and taking until there was nothing left that was only Jan’s. Not music, not his friends, not even control.

Nace took the napkin to clean him up, but Jan snatched it from him and did it himself. He wouldn’t give him a second more of his vulnerability. Jan hated him so fiercely he wanted to hit him in that moment. Instead, he began putting his clothes back on.

He grabbed his shirt at the same time Nace grabbed his elbow. Jan turned to give him his best glare. Nace, for all his shyness, didn't drop his gaze.

"Seriously? We just had sex and-"

"It's just sex, Jordan, calm down. And it won't happen again, I can promise you that."

Nace's face fell. Jan simply stared at him coldly. He felt no sympathy, no anything. He wouldn’t let him win this, too. He deserved to feel used.

He put his shirt on and only when he began lacing up his boots did Nace speak again.

"I hope you feel better now, at least.”

His tone was cutting, completely different to his usual tone. Jan did his best not to flinch. He did not look back at him as he answer.

“Yeah. It was fine. Whatever.”

Then he turned and left. He got all the way to the car and then simply sat inside, staring at nothing. He felt nothing. He forced himself to start the engine and drive home before his thoughts could catch up to him.

He made it to his apartment, but as soon as he closed the door behind him, he slid down to the floor. His mark burned. And he felt like his chest was caving in all of a sudden. Like he couldn't breathe in enough air.

It didn’t make any sense. Why was this happening? He hated him. So why was he feeling like this.

Didn’t I tell you could never feel complete without your soulmate? His father’s voice mocked, You will never be free.

Jan barely made it to the bathroom before he threw up. His ears were ringing, and he could swear he heard church bells in the distance. Was it a hallucination or did he never notice he could hear them from his apartment before?

He unconsciously reached for the necklace and only grasped air. It took him a moment to realize his mistake. He hadn’t been wearing a cross for years now. Why would he?

Was this what it felt like to be cursed? Perhaps it wasn’t Kris who was cursed but him. Was it for rejecting his soulmate or for not rejecting him? Tears of frustration built and then spilled down his cheeks.

He felt lost. Stranded. Like he was left in complete darkness with no light to guide him.

He heard a distant meow, and Igor came trotting to the bathroom. He brushed against Jan’s leg and Jan shakily scratched behind his ear. Igor looked at him for a moment before curling next to him. His small, warm body gave him a bit of comfort.

Enough to drag him out of utter despair.

There was no God that he believed in that could help him. But one thing Jan still had was a brother. He reached for his phone and press call.

“Hello?”

His brother’s voice sounded hesitant. They were in contact, but they still didn’t talk often. They certainly didn’t do random phone calls unless it was an emergency. Jan supposed this technically way one.

“Matej. I need your help. Do you remember how you told me about your friend who got rid of her soulmark and how it essentially broke the connection she had with her ex?”

There was a deep breath on the other side of the line. A pause, and then-

“Yes. But you do know you can only use that as a last resort.”

“I do. And I need you to tell me where she got it done.”

Another pause.

“I’ll ask her. But Jan…please think this through. You can’t undo this once it’s done.”

He couldn’t undo walking out of his parents’ house and choosing a life for himself. He won’t let Nace Jordan ruin it for him.

“I know. Text me when you have the contact.”

He hung up before Matej could say anything else. Could try to reason with him. Jan made a decision. His soulmark burned and he felt worse than he did in years.

It was all Nace’s fault. Jan would not let him ruin his life on account of destiny, or God or whatever it was that tied them together.

So Jan would end it before it even began.

#jance #my writing #jan peteh #nace jordan #joker out #inertia

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oxkikixo · 2 years

Text

Number One Fan!

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴; Kurt Kunkle x Streamer! Reader

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲; this is my first time posting something onto tumblr! So if something is messed up, i’m sorry ;( this was a drabble in my notes and i just pasted it into here and spacing got all wonky on me. i apologize you guys!!

~~~

The soft illumination of Kurt’s screen shone onto his face as he sat in his car, his back hunched as he leaned over his phone, your smiling face pointed towards the camera as you softly laughed at what one of your viewers said. A small ping when off and a animated version of you popped up dancing, a robotic voice playing, “@DaddyLongLegs donated $50!” the small message he left started playing shortly after, “Hi Y/n! Been watching you since day 1 and it’s great to see how far you’ve gotten!”

You placed a hand over your heart and puffed out your bottom lip, “Awe~ that’s so sweet! Thank you so much, for the donation and for always watching my streams. It means so, so, so much to me!” you cooed, adjusting in your plush pink seat so you can face the camera more.

“I always love hearing from you guys—“ your blabbing was ignored as Kurt just stared at his phone, his dark brows squishing close as he thought about what that guy said. No way he’s been watching since day one, cause Kurt has been watching from day one and has never seen this @DaddyLongLegs before! He must be lying. No way anyone is more of a number one fan than Kurt. He even bought your merch! He was a shirt and hat that you sold. Of course he has other little nick-naks, but the shirt and hat are limited addition! So he was definitely the first person to snatch those up before anyone else. In-a-matter-of-fact, Kurt is wearing one of your t-shirts, right now! Sure, he should be wearing his own merch, but he likes the shirt he bought from your shop. The light pastel pink with the graphic design of your character on it is cute! Kurt truly is your number one fan; wearing your merch on his streams basically proves it.

“Well, that’ll be all for tonight’s stream. Thank you all for joining,” you smiled, your glossy lips reflecting the bright light you had on you, “See you guys next week. Love ya’!” and with a small wave and blow of a kiss, the stream was over.

Kurt shuffled around in his seat and straightened his back. He placed his phone in a small, plastic phone holder that was attached to his dashboard as he started up his own stream. He waved to the camera with as much love as he can muster. He learned to be more “loving” to his audience, because of you! You always say “love ya’!” and wave so Kurt started doing that! You’re such an inspiration to him, you have no clue how much you mean to him.

“Hey, guys! So, we’re just waiting on Patrick to get here and then we’ll start—“ a knock on the window behind the passengers seat made Kurt flinch but he quickly unlocked the doors.

The back door flung open and blonde haired man climbed in. He huffed and slammed the car door shut, the grey vehicle shaking slightly.

“Hey, Patrick! You’re heading to Saint Mary’s Apartment Complex, right?” Kurt queried, looking into the rearview mirror, the corners of his lips twisting up.

Patrick looked up at Kurt from under his dark lashes, “Yeah, whatever.” the jock looking man grumbled, looking down at his phone.

“Okay!” Kurt mumbled, turning the radio up and starting the car.

The ping that came from Kurts phone got his attention immediately, his gut squeezing in hopes of a new follower. The notification from Spree made his gut sadly flatten, though. ‘Y/n L/n has requested a ride from you! Accept?’

Kurts foot slammed on the break and Patrick flung forward, a string of curses leaving his lips. Kurt quickly grabbed his phone and hit accept, the map showing where you were popping up.

“Hey, man, I got to go pick someone else up. Her destination is close to yours so it’s all good,” Kurt stated, placing his foot onto the gas and flipping a bitch around a corner.

Patrick groaned but shrugged, looking back down to his phone.

Kurt couldn’t believe it. His heart was racing, his blood ringing in his ears. He didn’t know you were in LA! This is great news! Kurt can finally talk to you in person. Will you notice that he’s wearing your merch? Will you follow him back? Will you even talk to him? So many questions littered Kurts mind as he drove to the hotel you were at. He’s going to see you. Talk to you. Maybe even get you to follow him!

As Kurt drove through the hotel parking lot, the brunette could feel his palms begin to grow sweaty and sticky against the steering wheel. He pulse fastened and his heart thumped against his boney ribcage.

The moment he saw you standing by the entrance of the hotel, your arms wrapped around your waist as your waited, Kurt knew this was the greatest moment of his life.

Patrick seemed to notice, too. Since he jumped out of his skin, basically. “Holy shit! You’re picking up Y/n L/n? That’s fucking sick!” the blonde exclaimed. Kurt grimaced at the passengers reaction. So, he was a fan, too? Well, Patrick better not take Kurts spotlight away.

You walked up to the car, opening the door behind the passenger seat and slipping in. “Hi, is this Kurt Krunkles car?” you asked, your voice dripping like honey right into Kurt’s mouth.

Kurt looked over his shoulder, smiling, “Yep! I’m guessing you’re Y/n L/n?” Kurt grinned as you softly nodded your head. God, you were so much better in person then on Kurts phone.

“Ohmygodhi! iwatchallyourstreams! impatrickandimyourenumberonefan!!” Patrick spoke quickly as he cupped your hands in his, his squeezing your hands.

You looked the blonde up and down with a concerned and uncomfortable look on your face. Kurt watched as you tried to pull your hands away from Patrick’s but the male had a tight grip. “Uhm, can you please let go?” you whimpered, “You’re hurting my hands, Patrick!”

Kurt stopped the car and angrily looked over his shoulder, his piercing brown eyes stabbing into Patrick, “If you don’t let her go, you’re getting kicked out of my car!” Kurt spoke sternly, his sudden confidence surprising him.

Patrick let you go as he turned to face Kurt, “You’re just gonna kick one of your passengers out? You’ll lose money.” Patrick spoke in a snobby tone, acting as if he owns the world.

Kurt squinted his eyes, “Yes, I would and I will. Touch her again and you’re out!”.

Patrick grumbled curses under his breath and pushed open the door next to him, “Fuck this! Fuck you!” Patrick cursed, flipping a middle finger towards Kurt before turning to you, your shaky figure pushed up against the opposite door of the car, “I’m unfollowing you AND blocking your ass!” he yelled, slamming the door shut and rushing away from the car.

Kurt huffed out a angered breath as he turned to you, his face softening and his body starting to feel fuzzy, “I’m so sorry, about him.” Kurt said, his eyes starting into yours. You awkwardly looked around and your gaze fell to Kurts shirt, your face flushing, “It’s fine. Thank you, for doing that.”

Kurt smiled and looked down to his shirt, “You like my shirt? It’s my favorite streamer.” Kurt happily spoke, acting as if you weren’t his favorite streamer. “She so cool, honestly. She inspires me a lot, actually. That’s why i started streaming! So i can get her attention.” Kurt said, turning forward and starting to drive again.

You looked around the car, all cameras pointed towards you, “So, that explains the cameras.” you said under your breath. Kurt happily agreed, “Yep! My streams are about…driving and giving lessons. @KurtsWorld96; follow for a follow!” he softly laughed, “I’m actually streaming, right now!” he looked to the camera closest to him, giving it a small wave, “Hi, everyone!”

You smiled, waving to the camera nearest to you. “You know…” you started off, your fingers twiddling in your laps, “That’s actually my shirt, that you’re wearing.” you finished, your face becoming a soft pink. Kurt looked on the rearview mirror in shock, “Oh my God, really?!” he gasped, “I can’t believe it’s actually you! i’m like you’re biggest fan!”

“That’s so good to hear. I’m happy i inspire you,” you two shared a laugh as you pulled out your phone, “Your called KurtsWorld96, right?” you asked, looking up at the greasy haired brunette.

He smiled and vigorously shook his head, “Yes, yes! That’s me.” his face became a hard red as he heard you type around on your phone. “Cool! I just followed you.” you stated, looking up to Kurt.

The grey car pulled up to your destination and Kurt looked back at you, “Thank you, so much, Y/n.” his voice was soft and caring. He truly meant it. If the world would end right now, he’ll die happy knowing that you followed him.

You smiled back, your glossy lips catching Kurts attention, “Yes, of course! It was great to meet you, Kurt.” you said, opening the car door and stepping out. You two exchanged awkward waves before you walked off.

Soon, a ding on Kurt’s phone excited him as he read it. ‘@Y/nOfficial_ added you in their post! Check it out?’ Kurts pale finger tapped on the banner, his phone showing him your recent post.

“Just met the most sweetest fan ever!!! @KurtsWorld96! Turns out, I inspire him to stream! So, check him out. Thank you, for a great Spree Ride, Kurt!”

Kurts heart melted. He knew you two were meant to be! He liked the post and then set his phone back into the holder. You two are destined to be together. You guys can be America’s newest and greatest power-couple, ever!

#slashers #joe keery #kurt kunkle

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brdpch · 1 year

Text

{6} a game of cats, mice and hearts like ice

desktop: previous ✧ next mobile: previous ✧ next

synopsis: in the world of deadly games and their lives at risk, a very smart sociopath meets a very cunning stripper who claims his life as hers.

warnings: canon-typical violence, graphic descriptions of violence, sexual abuse, substance abuse, niragi, literally everything, you name it.

formatting: it's a glued-together dynamic roleplay between me and @bvrdel-mama, so the replies are separated by ♠♥♦♣, and the dialogues are written like — This. — yes, the symbols look horrible on mobile, we know.

statistics: 2,509 words 13,625 characters.

author's note: it's a mix of manga!chishiya with show!chishiya. also! what's worth noticing - in this rp there are dice involved. the mechanic is called a d20 mechanic, and it's based on dungeons and dragons 5th edition. we also use other dice rolls for other outcomes, so future events might surprise both me and my roleplaying partner. enjoy!

He was… something else. He didn't try to pull out, but instead - laughed at her, genuinely. Unmei was taken aback just a little bit, before she let go, shaking her head and smirking.

— You will never get me out of your head. — she said before Shuntarō sprinted away, not caring if he heard her or not.

The thought crossed her mind - was she wrong and was he actually a psychopath, and not a sociopath?

Chishiya wasn't an esper, as they said in japan, so he couldn't predict the future. Tagger's attention was now on Unmei, but it was okay, she already planned how she could use it to her advantage. Such a silly boy, thinking he could put her in any danger?

— Tagger is well prepared for a fight! — she shouted towards others, on her knees, getting to the stairs she seen Chishiya for the last time. — Tackle him and look out for a second or third „it”! — she added, before inhaling. — The safe zone is on the fourth floor, apartment 478! Tagger prevented anyone from coming closer, that's the location! I'm trapped here, but I'm counting on you!

What she said last could really motivate the rest of the players. It gave sense of being a team, of fighting together, of protecting that fragile little figure they all saw in the lobby.

Shaggy picked up quickly, Hawaii and Beach members one and two already teaming up against the horse-head. Unmei took her military knife out of her belt, and swung it open in one swift move, before she took careful steps down the stairs. If tagger chose them instead of the elevator, she'd be able to run up again.

three minutes remaining.

She smiled.

She really liked Chishiya.

♠♥♦♣

Chishiya laughed again, hearing the last words of Unmei to him before he disappeared down the staircase. She's a very funny girl, he thought.

His hair was falling out of the neat bun he made, so he had to re-do it. He got it just right as Unmei's voice echoed throughout the complex. She shouted the location of the safe zone, playing on the heartstrings and good will of other participants - very risky as people, normally egoistic, under pressure turn into even more self-centered caricatures of themselves. On the other hand, her lost foreigner persona was really convincing and may work.

Shuntarō grabbed his stun gun and bumped the tempo up when rushing through the floors until he got onto the 4th one. Here, he tried his best to keep himself crouched and unnoticed. It seemed that the bait worked on horse-heads, because apparently there could be more than one tagger - all of them should be focused on Unmei. Or at least at the player who just shouted the solution to everyone. He turned the corner and he saw the apartment number he was looking for. The marathon girl was pretty close too, climbing on the walls and jumping around like a rabbit caught in a net.

♠♥♦♣

His logic was good, yet a bit flawed. Unmei already knew other players were going to cooperate. Shaggy and his friend offered help in the first place.

As Chishiya made his way to the door, Shaggy and Unmei did too. She's heard gunshots in the distance, and to her liking, a pretty far one. So Beach members and Hawaii really tried to take the horseman down.

Good.

She kept herself alert anyway, thinking that with an unlimited amount of players could come an unlimited amount of taggers.

one minute remaining.

She made a run for it, feeling as if her lungs were burning. Oh, how she hated physical effort - running in particular.

Shuntarō could hear Unmei's steps somewhere behind him.

— [english] You really are my type. — she exclaimed. — Clock's ticking, though! Hurry!

♠♥♦♣

The lanky basement dweller came to the door at the same time as him, they exchanged glances and opened the door, but Chishiya stopped when he heard the barefoot footsteps running up to him.

His gaze snapped when he heard Unmei's voice behind him - there was a brief shadow of smirk on his face, but then his eyes widened. One of the horsemen with a machete just turned the corner from one of the staircases, and was running up directly towards Unmei.

Chishiya grabbed his stun gun in his left hand, he then took Unmei by her right shoulder and pulled her into the room, switching places with her just as the horseman swung their blade directly over his head. Chishiya dodged the sharp edge of the machete by inches - it made a tear in his favorite hoodie - but then managed to jab the stun gun directly into the attacker's torso. The horseman stood there for a second, convulsing in place, their weapon held high above their head ready for another attack. When the pulse of energy stopped coursing through their body, they let go of it.

The next two sounds that echoed through the apartment complex were clink of the blade and the thud of the attackers body. A smell of burned flesh started to fill the air around them.

— Now... we're... even... — said Chishiya to Unmei, breathing heavily, walking into the room once again.

♠♥♦♣

As Unmei felt Shuntarō's sudden pull, her eyes opened wide, still ablaze - but this time, something about the fire inside them was different. Was she perhaps enjoying this, too?

She panted heavily, letting Shaggy and Sporty into the room, free to press buttons to stop the bombs in the building. And then, Unmei just in case, did something pretty unexpected - she crouched on top of tagger, lifted their head and - tearing off their mask - slit their throat with little to no effort.

She knew exactly where to cut, and that old military knife wasn't just a prop, apparently. Chishiya's perceptive eyes noticed „Stalker II” on the handle, suggesting there's another one with „Stalker I”. It was hand-crafted into the wood inside said handle.

congratulations.

game clear.

Unmei was about to let go of - apparently - woman's head, when the collar on horse-head's neck exploded, leaving the girl covered in blood, pieces of skin and flesh. Unmei stood there in silence, stunned.

♠♥♦♣

Chishiya backed away as Unmei tore the horseman's mask off to reveal an unconscious woman hiding inside. And stood there - hands in his pockets, leaning on the doorframe with his chin upwards and his gaze following every movement of the knife. „Stalker” - an interesting name, he thought. He completely ignored the pair who rushed into the room and clicked the buttons in a matter of seconds before the building was about to explode.

He heard the woman choke on her own blood before a slight beeping sound could be heard, coming from her collar; he instinctively ducked behind the corner and when he came back Unmei was standing there by the woman - a red bloody mess covered in flesh and brain matter. Chishiya looked at her and sneered but then furrowed his brows for a second, noticing a piece of paper sticking out from the horsewoman's jacket pocket.

— You should wash up before we take off, it's tough to find a good car cleaner in the city these days. — he said, before crouching and pretending to examine the woman's body, and then discretely snatching the piece of paper just to put it into his hoodie pocket.

♠♥♦♣

Unmei blinked a few times, wiping her blade on horsehead's clothes, and then shook some of their blood off her hands.

— I have bad news, doctor. She's dead. — she said with a cold and sarcastic tone of voice, her face back to having barely any emotions visible. She sighed at the sight of Chishiya examining a dead woman's body.

— If you want to be useful, check out her equipment and her clothes. — she added, before she took off Niragi's shirt, turned it to the other side and wiped her face.

♠♥♦♣

Shuntarō knew Unmei gave absolutely no fucks that he was there to supervise her, and he didn't give a fuck that she talked to him this way - ordering him around - but if it was someone else - like Aguni for example - she would had her throat slit. Chishiya chuckled lightly at her comment - she really was funny when she didn't pretend to be stupid.

He then pretended to pat down the woman before raising the machete in the air, turning to Unmei, still crouched.

— An „I'm-sorry-I-ruined-your-shirt” gift for your boyfriend, hm? — he asked sarcastically.

♠♥♦♣

Unmei rolled her eyes, crouching near the dead body, searching through various pockets - padding the legs, arms, torso.

— Niragi is a long distance shooter. I, on the other hand, am not a fan of weapons. Especially deceptive ones. — she answered. — By the way, I hope you'll be a dear and share your shoes, hm? Or should I tell Niragi that you tried to kill me?~ — she hummed, but her face was as uninterested as ever.

♠♥♦♣

Shuntarō forcefully exhaled through his nose, smirking. He then stood up and leaned on the doorframe again, crossing his hands.

— Kill you? I simply tried to test you, see how well you work under ever-changing circumstances - a principal attribute of every executive. Besides you wanted me out of your way and got what you wished for. — he shrugged, then nodded to the corpse. — Try hers, she might be willing to part with her shoes. — he mirrored Unmei's tone.

♠♥♦♣

— Behind the façade and complicated sentences with unnecessarily well matched words you just spat out, lies a lie. — she murmured. — Let me quote you, then, refresh that unreliable memory of yours.

Unmei cleared her throat, wiping her hands and thighs from the blood. She slowly made her way towards the elevator, but continued speaking.

— „I am here to simply observe passively and help you as a last resort”. — she stated, and then turned her head back, looking at him behind her arm. — You didn't lie then, there wasn't that glimmer in your eyes, the same one as you laughed before sprinting away. Borderline personality disorder? — she then questioned, raising a brow.

♠♥♦♣

Unmei noticed the same glimmer in his eye, again. Chishiya chuckled quietly, passing the girl, walking in front towards the elevator.

— No, just a whole lot of sarcasm you didn't get, and an ASPD. — he said over his shoulder. — You have my permission to tell Niragi, by the way. — he hummed while walking into the elevator and pushing the bottom floor button not waiting for her to catch up.

♠♥♦♣

— I don't need any permission, kitten. — she stated matter-of-factly, getting into the elevator right behind him. She needed some rest, some peace and quiet, a foot massage and a shower. Not exactly in that order.

— Although, it would be boring if someone blew a hole through your head. I just prevented that once.

♠♥♦♣

— Of course you don't. — he said coldly, shrugging. His head was pounding and his heartbeat still fast, the leftover emotions leaving his body as he felt the adrenaline course through his veins. His hands were slightly shaking, so he put them in the pockets of his hoodie, checking if the paper was still in there.

— And I returned the favor, didn't I? — he said leaning on the elevator wall, his chin upwards looking directly into Unmei's eyes.

♠♥♦♣

— Ah, I meant precisely shooting you. My actions would go to waste if Niragi took you out. And also… — she didn't avert his gaze, getting a few steps closer. — I can't wait to play with you again.

♠♥♦♣

Shuntarō chuckled again and tilted his head at the woman. He could hear her heartbeat, as fast as his. The way she said these words made his own sped up again, and he shivered slightly at the thought of the thrill he felt today.

— Likewise. — he nodded and smirked.

There were a few seconds of silence broken by Chishiya this time.

— So, what's your real name, Fate? — he inquired, looking at her curiously this time.

♠♥♦♣

Unmei took one more step, being as close as possible, their chests pressed against each other. She stood on her tiptoes, and Shuntarō could feel her hot breath against his ear.

— It's Irma Stalker-Schrödinger. — she whispered, something playful in her tone.

♠♥♦♣

Their hearts beaten in unison now, and if she could see Chishiya's eyes, she would notice that they got a bit wider than usual.

— Hm, that's a mouthful. — he said not moving an inch or shifting, his voice lower now. — Irma. — he rolled it on his tongue.

♠♥♦♣

— Eer-mah. — she corrected him, with a German accent now, as she was taking a step back. She breathed out her name right on his neck.

♠♥♦♣

Shuntarō crossed arms on his chest, a slight shiver running down his spine.

— You're a long way from home, Irma. - he said, smirking. — Why the fake name? — he asked. — No one's here to deport you, you know.

♠♥♦♣

As Unmei stepped back, she almost immediately turned to the door, like she tried to hide something. Maybe it was the way the fire flickered in her icy eyes, or maybe it was because she was out of breath. Or maybe because it was cold and her shirt was wet from blood.

She embraced herself once again.

— Well, how do you know where I'm from? — she asked, a bit cynically, yet full of curiosity.

♠♥♦♣

Chishiya stood there in the same position, analyzing her body language. Closed now, she won't answer his question. That's fine, he was trying to pass the time in the quiet ride down towards the bottom anyway.

— I assumed. — he shrugged. — The accent, the name, just the general appearance of someone who doesn't belong in this part of the globe. — he added matter-of-factly.

♠♥♦♣

— Germany is close to where I was born. — she assured, as he was really close to the truth.

♠♥♦♣

— Austria then. — he said, though there was no question mark at the end.

♠♥♦♣

— No~ — she sang, clearly amused.

♠♥♦♣

Ding.

The elevator was all the way down now, and as the door opened Shuntarō went up to the door but stopped for a second.

— Fine, I like to solve riddles too. It's mercy, by the way. — he said, meeting Irma's gaze and smirking, before walking out towards where they left the car.

♠♥♦♣

She just smiled and nodded, still pretty much amused. She shivered from the cold and walked slowly, watching her steps carefully, so as to not injure her feet.

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mousiefrotting · 3 months

Text

here is my first ever TWST ocpost! recently i realized that as much as i love this world and all its characters, that i'd love to add some personal flair to it. for both kink reasons and explorative ones. so here you have it:

this is Aloysius De'Liverance, twisted from Sarah Sanderson of Hocus Pocus. honestly, i'm not too sure what i intend to do with him yet, but i've always loved the idea of siren song, both as an ability and in stories in general.

Aloysius, as a person, is someone with a desperate craving for attention. he's small and cute in stature, with a sweet voice and a strange sort of misplaced innocence. like a child, he dreams and pines for a fantastical happy ending, one where he's whisked away to a life of love and affection, sweet whispers and undying devotion by the perfect prince. but---his standards for love are unreasonably high, and much like how he lives life- anything that he no longer finds fun, he grows tired of and becomes sour. this applies to people as well.

generally, despite his cute demeanor, he's got a very difficult personality. he's cruel and patronizing, with a heaping dose of an inferiority complex. he does his best to act like he's above everyone else, and often seeks out situations where he can feel superior to someone else. he uses his own vulnerability and hurt against others, manipulating those that he sees as "toys" into his whims, and bullying anyone that he wants to bring down and can make upset without consequence.

even with his rudeness and more than often genuine malice, he's still very charming. as mean as he is, he's both charismatic and flirtatious, and he often uses his voice to get his way, with his song able to bewitch and control a victim into anything he pleases, where he leaves them with an emotional void and painful longing for whatever there was once the spell fades away.

anyone that shows him positive attention will receive his truest affections, until they "betray" whatever expectations he's laid out for them. still, he can be genuinely sweet when he wants to be, and is a valuable asset to anyone that has his respect.

kink-wise, Aloysius would find the idea of surrendering to someone better than himself more enthralling than he could or would ever admit. if it's someone he really does "like", in more ways than one, he would get flustered and excited beyond belief at the very thought of becoming one with someone that he adores so much.

i don't believe he COULD swallow a person whole, no matter how much he might like to, unless if it were a macro/micro situation, where there was someone even smaller than him.

in that case? well, he'd be downright evil. >D

(i had so much fun making this horrible witch-boy. PLEASE ask me about him, i'm just dying to write more)

#tw.st #twisted wonderland #oc post #🩰#aloysius de'liverance #implied vore #twst

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ronanzng · 6 months

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☆ — 𝙍𝙊𝙉𝘼𝙉 𝙕𝙀𝙉𝙂.

highlights & keywords; eccentric, a touch of elitism, his end would come through hubris, lacked the parental affection, demanding attention, acting only on impulse, excelling, always second, dramatic, believed he was better than people, a god complex

is that RONAN ZENG ? a SOPHOMORE originally from MANHATTAN, they decided to come to ogden college to study DRAMA. they’re THE HUBRISTIC on campus, but even they could get blamed for greer’s disappearance.

FULL NAME: ronan zeng

SEXUALITY & PRONOUNS: bisexual, he/him

ROMANTIC STATUS: single

BIRTHDAY: october 30th, 2003

HEIGHT: 6″2

BIG SIX: scorpio sun, aquarius moon, scorpio rising, leo venus, aries mercury, scorpio mars

HOMETOWN: manhattan, new york

OCCUPATION: full-time student

EXTRACURRICULARS: captain of the swim team, debate team member, SAE frat member

SIBLINGS: an older sister, by one year

TATTOOS & PIERCINGS: a nose ring & eyebrow piercing, and five small-medium tattoos scattered across his body — 1 on his left arm, 2 on his right arm, 1 on his chest and 1 at his ankle.

MUSE INSPO: tristan dugray (gilmore girls), max wolfe (gossip girl reboot), lumpy space princess (adventure time), sharpay evans (high school musical)

AESTHETICS: old money, messy hotel rooms, an apathy built by money, a lana del rey song, crashed vintage cars, body glitter, the chaos of unnecessary drama, an echo in an empty theatre, a god complex,

THREE POSITIVE TRAITS: eccentric, quick-witted, fun

THREE NEGATIVE TRAITS: impulsive, hedonistic, arrogant

THREE SKILLS: acting, piano, competitive swimming

RELATIONSHIP TO GREER: a family friend. ronan has always been closer to eddie than anyone else in that family, but he knew them all pretty well — the good, the bad, and the ugly. greer was part of that.

HOW THEY EMBODY THEIR CHARACTER TROPE. arrogance, pride, a touch of elitism (when he’s not trying his best to pretend he isn’t) and feeling like you deserve a lot more than what you’ve been given — if ronan lived in a greek myth or a greek tragedy, his end would come through hubris and nothing else..

EXTRACURRICULARS: captain of the swim team, debate team member, SAE frat member

☆ — 𝘽𝘼𝘾𝙆𝙂𝙍𝙊𝙐𝙉𝘿

ronan zeng was born into money, wealth, and luxury. his father was a ceo of a software company that generated an obscene amount of money for him, and his mother had her own small side businesses that she owned and visited often. she could have easily slipped into the rich house wife lifestyle, but what was admirable about his mother was that she chose not to. but as admirable as that was, it also meant that both parents were quite absent and focused on work for most of his life, if not all of it, to pay any real attention to him and his sister.

naturally, that caused a ripple effect — they lacked the parental affection and attention that children crave, so they grew up to become people demanding the attention that he thought he deserved. for ronan, this came in becoming more eccentric, causing a little more trouble, saying out of pocket things just to get a reaction, and acting only on impulse. this desire to be seen didn't only come in the form of a wild streak — it also came in excelling at the piano, and swimming, joining the debate club and being the loudest most obnoxious fuck in there, and current day, joining a fraternity on campus. still, it seemed to get him nothing more than a hair ruffle, or a nod of approval, or a few words of affirmation that felt scripted from both his parents. it wasn't like he doubted that his parents loved him — at least, he never doubted his mother. they just didn't really put him above their careers, always second. this is why ronan wanted to be the first and the best at everything he did.

as far back as he could remember, ronan grew up alongside the morrisons. they were like a second family — full of the good, and the bad side of a family. he was the closest to edward, as they were the same age, and did pretty much everything together. for a second, he thought that he and eddie would be close friends until they grew old. but now, that hasn't been the case, after their most recent fight that they haven't been able to come back from.

☆ — 𝙋𝙀𝙍𝙎𝙊𝙉𝘼𝙇𝙄𝙏𝙔

eccentric, dramatic, and absolutely loves being the center of attention. he demands it, and tries to get it in every single room he's in. ronan grew up learning how to grab people's attention, so it was effortless at this point, but never quite enough

he really hates to be seen as some elitist rich trust fund baby, so he likes to pretend that he isn't... but deep down, it's how he grew up, and it was all he grew up around. he's always been privileged, and it shows in those rare moments when he isn't able to catch himself from letting his trust fund baby show. he truly believed that he was better than people, whether he wanted to shout that out loud or not.

ngl guys this is all i got so far, this is a new muse for me and im still figuring him out.... i will let u know if i add more shit lmfaoo please plot with me.

#ogdenintro

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shifthours · 2 years

Text

OK why I think byler would help Mike's character let's go

SO we all know Mike was a great friend (tho a bit of a hothead) in s1 and s2 but then suddenly in s3 and s4 he's kind of an asshole (conviently when he starts dating el)

So right there it's alr a clear connection that milkvan isn't good 4 him bcs?? A relationship isn't healthy if u feel the need 2 detach from all your friends and give nobody else attention except each other...

BUT ANYWAYD I think byler s5 would change SO MANY THINGS 4 mike LIKE 1. HES WELL KNOWN 2 BE NOT THAT GOOD AT FIGHTING RIGHT okay well hear me out will is good at fighting and they have a moment where he teaches him (kind of like that jancy moment where Jon and nancy swapped the gun and bat 2 find out which 1 was better 4 them) and WE KNOW that will brings the bravery out of him (ex he litr goes 2 all means 2 save will despite knowing there's monsters and ppl dying and things) a bravery that was sort of snuffed out in the fact that Mike didn't really have 2 do anything after they found el, he just kind of was like 🤯 el use ur powers and she did so he doesn't rly have 2 do any of that anymore BUT WITH ELEVEN GROWING INTO INDEPENDENCE I think it wld be so nice 2 see a scene of him also learning 2 take care of himself and I think the best one 2 teach him that wld be will (showing him how 2 load a gun nd aim nd shit)

2. He wld finally be able 2 open up abt how he was feeling more often

In the show we've seen like.MANY many times that Mike opens up 2 will more often and more genuinely than he does 2 any1 else (including el)

If byler ends up being real I think it wld be so much more healthy for Mike bcs he would be lying all the time which is like the main msg of their group (friends don't lie!!!!)

3. Again I think we would get better insight 2 mike as a person for the first time since s2, his thoguhts his wants, needs, motivations, everything. Again when has he ever had a truly honest dialogue with eleven about how he feels (and don't tell me the stupid superhero speech bcs that was trash), he never has not really. He never tells el the complexities of his emotions but rather dumbs it down 2 😟 sowwy I was angy and that's it

But with will they really deeply talk abt things and admit things 2 each other that they don't talk 2 any1 else abt and having a connection like that be one of the main focuses in the show wld totally let us see into mikes thoughts and therefore him as a character so much better

4. HE CLD INTERACT W HIS FRIENDS IN A NORMAL WAY AGAIN one thing that irked me so bad w milkvan is they are insanely clingy 2 thr point of being unhealthy

Even though Mike and will have one or two moments in s4, this like?? Unhealthy obsessed attitude is still present (in mike at least, el seems 2 be getting over it), all he talks abt is el, he hardly even mentions anyone else at all despite seeing will for the first time in a year (u think he wld talk abt the party more?? b4 el got kidnapped I mean)

BUT ANYWASY yeah s3 was also rly bad w that where he wld just abandon his friends 4 her ALL THE TIME and there's a point where like.you really aren't a good friend if all u do is ditch them 24/7 and they all call him out 4 it.

BUT when el's out of the picture he seems to have no problem hanging out w the party (ex. When hopper told mike 2 stay away from el or else, and mike immediately starting hanging out w lucas and will again?? Yeah)

so I think byler wld make him a better friend as well

OK I think that is all the points I wanted 2 hit I feel like I'm missing one but ill just come back later and add on if I rmbr 😟??? BUT ANAYWAYS YEAH byler real

#st4 #stranger things 4 #byler #will byers #mike wheeler #st5

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jeonstellate · 2 years

Text

no more tomorrow

jisung, a procrastinator by nature, always finds comfort in the existence of tomorrow.

๑彡 han jisung x gender neutral!reader

๑彡 slice of life!au — character death — angst

๑彡 paragraph format — 1.9K words

masterlist

[gif’s full credit belongs solely to its owner]

๑彡 title is taken from tablo’s tomorrow (ft. taeyang of bigbang).

Han Jisung is a procrastinator. It is something everyone knows — including his peers, his friends, his family, even his dog. He is not ashamed of it, though, partly because his "bad" work ethic never affects the quality of his work. His procrastination does not affect his ability to finish and submit projects on time, either, so it has never been a hindrance for him or whatsoever.

Still, it does not mean he has been safe from any jokes his friends and family make about his work ethic.

"Don’t tell me you’ll procrastinate on your love life too?" As Changbin teased him once.

Jisung merely laughed it off that time, but, unbeknownst to his friends, his thoughts had drifted towards you.

You are Jisung’s . . . friend, for the lack of a better word. You are not his crush, simply because his affections for you are well past the borders for that. You are not the love of his life, either, because the scope of such title is beyond the definition of his feelings. Jisung likes you, but it is a little more complex than that. Thus, to avoid any confusion and complexities, he merely regards your relation to him as a "friend."

However, despite the platonic feel of the label, it does not automatically mean Jisung is content for it to stay that way. Albeit he cannot guarantee that his feelings are reciprocated, at the very least, he still wants to let you know.

The first time Han Jisung thought to confess, it was a random weekday.

That day, you two were set to revisit Chan in the records shop he works at with Hyunjin, Yongbok, and Seungmin. However, since your classes ended much earlier than theirs, you two went to the library to get some work done. (After all, you both knew the chances of you getting any work done later was definitely much lower than it currently was.)

Jisung suggested that you take the last two-sitter table by the window, out of consideration for larger groups that would come in later. Truthfully, he had no hidden intention for the privacy his suggestion entailed, other than not including unused chairs in his conscience. However, when he looked up from his work two hours later, he saw you. (Of course he did, you were seating across him, after all, he would have needed to be blind not to. Still, he found himself surprised in seeing you.)

The sunlight passed through the window in an angle that perfectly accented your face. It was not too much where the refracted light literally made it too blinding to look at you, but, to Jisung, it might as well did. He could not pinpoint what else was there with the light, all he knew was his heart swelled upon seeing you under it.

You were beautiful. Much more beautiful than you normally were physically, but exactly how Jisung saw you since the beginning.

He was not attracted to you solely because of your physical appearance. Rather, it was a combination of a lot of things. Amongst all else, he liked you because you were always there whenever he — whether knowingly or unknowingly — needed someone to be with.

Specifically, you were someone who, in his darkest nights, would always remind him that tomorrow exist.

Jisung had the sudden urge to blurt out his feelings then. All of a sudden, he did not care about anyone that were not you. He could not care any less about anyone else that were about to overhear, all that mattered was you would.

"[First name]," Jisung called your attention. His next words were ready to echo out, I like you, but they got stuck in his throat when you caught his stare. When the seconds stretched with no success, he quickly thought of an excuse before the silence became unbearable. "Let’s wait for them somewhere else, I’m hungry."

You later held out your hand to him before you journeyed to the nearest corndog stall, none the wiser about what just transpired in his head minutes ago.

Maybe tomorrow, then, Jisung thought as he interlocked his fingers with yours.

The second time Han Jisung thought to confess, many tomorrows had already passed since his first — failed — attempt.

It was a weekend then and he was set to binge watch a web drama with you and Jeongin. At that point, your respective midterms week just passed and you all were determined to ignore your responsibilities for a bit before going back to the grind en route to finals. Unfortunately, Jeongin was running late — which only left you and Jisung to prepare the food stash for your marathon.

Although it was Jeongin who refused the idea of just having knick knacks to munch on during your binge watch, he was the one who ended up not contributing to the dishes he wanted cooked. With you as the main chef and Jisung as your assistant (solely because he would rather chop ingredients than be responsible for the taste), you two managed to cook everything without a hitch. By the time you were boiling ramen noodles, aka the last dish on the menu, Jeongin was — thankfully — already on his way.

Jisung did not know what prompted his brain to recall his unsuccessful attempt in confessing. He was just watching you stir the noodles, then all of a sudden he thought about not minding seeing you like that for the rest of his life.

He knew that kind of thought was threading too close to the borderline between like and love, but unpacking such thought was not his main concern. Rather, his first concern was the obvious: he would only have a shot at making that specific thought a reality if he confessed.

"[First name]," your name was already out of his lips before he could even process what just happened. As it seemed, his body was quicker in reacting than his mind was.

"What?" You responded, head snapping towards him before turning back to the pot once more. "Just wait a bit more, it’s almost done."

Before he could rebut, a distinct sound of a doorbell suddenly rung. And akin to a spell being broken, Jisung immediately lost his urge to come clean about feelings then. "That’s probably Jeongin-ie."

On his way to answer the door and let his friend in, all he could think about was: Maybe tomorrow, I’d actually say it.

The third time Han Jisung thought to confess, an unaccountable number of tomorrows had already passed since his second — still unsuccessful — attempt.

His newest attempt happened during Minho’s dance showcase, where you both attended with a bunch of your shared friends. Strangely, despite showing up with a number of people, he still ended up watching the concert next to you.

Just like his previous two tries, his next one was still a result of spontaneity and of the moment. It was only by chance he looked your way during some intense dance break, so his inability to tune back in was unplanned. He could not even fathom why he could not move his eyes away from you — especially since the pulse of the music was enough to let him know he was missing some epic dance routines.

Truthfully, it was dark in the auditorium then — save for the stage, with all the lights on and pointed at it. Except for the LEDs on the steps, the dimness in the audience area was attributed to the fact that the performers were supposed to be the only attraction that night. (And they were — just not to Jisung.)

Yet, even in darkness, Jisung had no trouble seeing you. All of a sudden, it seemed to him like one of the lights meant for the stage strayed and landed on you instead, shining on you like a spotlight.

Just then, by some twisted coincidence, Jisung remembered the exact moment he realized he harbored feelings for you.

It was during one of Chan’s DJ gigs and he had been jamming and dancing with you then. When the pulsating party lights switched onto a different color, he began seeing you in a different light (both literally and figuratively). Suddenly, he realized his feelings for you were not all, hundred-percent platonic — and were actually eighty-five percent platonic, fifteen percent romantic instead.

That night, during Minho’s dance showcase, he noticed how his feelings had drastically changed since then.

What? You mouthed to him after he nudged you gently with his arm.

Unfortunately, just like always, the words that he had prepared before making his move suddenly vanished as soon as he saw your eyes directed at him. Accident, he mouthed back quickly, knowing full well he would not be able to force out the actual words he wanted to say, sorry!

When you merely smiled at him in return, he instantly regretted lying to you once more.

Tomorrow, he sweared, I’ll tell you the truth tomorrow, I promise.

Despite promising to himself that he would confess to you the day after Minho’s dance showcase, Jisung was not ready to fulfill his oath until a few days later.

In contrast to his earlier attempts, Jisung planned out his fourth. He factored his sudden lack of words to the nature they were thought: they were of in the moment, so they naturally disappear whenever the moment passed. Thus, to avoid such thing happening once more, he prepared a guiding script — meant to be used in case his mind blank out.

As it seemed, Han Jisung was determined to let you know about his feelings before the day ends. No matter what happens.

Even if he suddenly had to visit a hospital.

"I’m here," he announced his presence as soon as he spotted Chan and Changbin amidst the chaos in the emergency ward. "What happened?"

When he received a call from Changbin asking him to come to the nearest hospital as soon as he could, the worry laced in his friend’s voice was enough to make him drop everything and run. He did not even remember inquiring why he wanted him to go there, partly because he did not want to waste any time.

A part of Jisung thought he might have had overreacted a little, but after witnessing Chan and Changbin’s dark and solemn faces, he instantly knew his reaction was not overboard.

"I think it’d be best if you sit down first, Jisung-ah," Chan gestured for him to sit.

A cold suddenly run down his spine, but he tried his best to ignore it. "No, that’s okay. I’ll stand," he declined. "Now tell me why you called me here."

His friends shared a quick look he could not quite understand before Changbin answered, "It’s [first name]."

The cold on his spine instantly entered his blood vessels upon hearing your name. He was sure he would have unconsciously stood up had he accepted the offer to sit. "Wha— what happened to [first name]? Are they okay? W—"

"—[First name]’s gone," his friend did not let his nervous rambling finish before laying the reality on him. "They— they flatlined just after I called you."

Jisung could not hear anything else properly after that. He did catch bits and pieces of what Chan and Changbin were saying, but nothing really made sense to him. His mind registered that they were trying to fill him in with what happened and were simultaneously trying to comfort him, but each word only weighted heavy on him.

A folded piece of paper, full of his words, suddenly felt uncomfortable in his pocket.

A tear escaped from his left eye before his knees gave out and cued his tearful breakdown.

If only I had told you I love you yesterday, then I wouldn’t be so desperate for a tomorrow with you to still come.

#han jisung x reader #han x reader #stray kids x reader #han jisung imagines #han imagines #stray kids imagines #han jisung scenarios #han scenarios #stray kids scenarios #han jisung oneshots #han oneshots #stray kids oneshots #slice of life!au #han jisung #han #stray kids

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