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absolutebl · 5 months

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This Week in BL - I'm All Over the Place, and so are the shows

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Nov 2023 Wk 5

Ongoing Series - Thai

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 4 of 12 - The Jasmine flirting thing was so darn cute, I can’t. I love these two so much.

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 2 of 10 - Oh it’s great. Flirting. Fighting. Fate. Murder. Eventually we’ll add fucking. A trifffecta. I could do with a bit less training but whatever. And we have learned our boys are laboring under a geis. NO SINGING. Otherwise this ep was actually pretty flipping great.

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) ep 6 of 8 - Ooo kidnapping and the sides are suffering betrayal. Also Tew kills again. I like that they don’t shy away from the fact that he’s a killer and Guy was genuinely scared. And then Tew had to break up with Guy to protect him in Noble Sacrifice (tm). How Cdrama of him. Rough ep all round.

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 1 of 10 - It’s not exactly good, but it’s better than I was expecting, and I tend to cut pulps a lot of slack out the gate. The plot is more interesting, Him is a sweetie (I like that in a seme) and our uke has both game and pluck. He’s a femme bitch, I LOVE that in a boy + we never get it femme in the lead. The acting is not great, sound all over the place, but there are no terrible sound effects, the soundtrack is okay, and our high heat came with a side of BJ + condoms, and no one has sung (yet), so I think I like it. It’s giving me Big Dragon vibes.

Linguistic moment:

Him used Him/ter for pronouns & ha. Very flirty. Nail used rao back a little bit of a challenge. (No pom and didn’t use his own name either.) Gauntlet thrown. Our baby ends up with rao/kao but I don’t think that’ll stick. Him is getting Phi out of him if it's the last thing he does.

Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 2 of 6 - The characters’ shared backstory is no surprise but I do like this show. Those little private smiles as they find family. Those lingering gazes as they find romance. Lovely. Also Shin wants to marry into Peach's family so bad, I’m reminded of Laurie in Little Women. All that said, it’s never the top of my list to watch for some reason.

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) 1 of 12 - How could I have forgotten how stunning Off is? Meanwhile… I love Gun’s character, he's so cute. But this show is a bit too comedic for me. I wish GMMTV were taking this script seriously. Sorry Neo et al I’m not sold on the sides. In general? I don’t love it. I don’t hate it either. In other news, I think I'll go make toast.

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 3 of 14 - I love the sides and unholy amount and in general it was fine this week probably because I decided to do a trash watch.

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 5 of 10 - I’m getting fatigued. Also holy random sex Batman. Where did these extra sides come from? I’m confused. Tonal pingpong going on, and not just in the shower.

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 4 of 8 - Finally a direct confession Jade can’t avoid. Will things get a bit more serious?

Absolute Zero (Weds iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - I don’t know why I watch this show, the acting is great, but it just makes me cry.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 3 of 14 eps - What a bonkers thing this is. Very kinky and also just odd. I do keep thinking about the pinks with it. Similarly, there doesn’t seem much glue holding this thing together, dried cum of course but not glue. And despite what some kinksters say, the one cannot replace the other.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Fake Love ep 15 of 24 - This is a weird installment. Too stalker and random blackmail for me. But not as bad as abuse and death, I guess?

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

A Breeze of Love (Korea iQIYI) eps 7-8fin - Not much of a love triangle in the end (you just found out he is actually gay and broken hearted = an opportunity not a tragedy). Meanwhile I like that the high school break up was just mr insomniac's fault. He got jealous and angry and petty. No miscommunication just an asshole kid. I did find this show a little slow, even though it was your standard length KBL. Odd that. They are very cute boyfriends tho.

All in all:

Tsundere insomniac grump reunited with his sunshine jock ex (human sleeping pill) who now hates him. Basketball is also involved. While the simplicity of a reunion plot makes this more cohesive than most KBLs, it is a tad stiff and slow, never managing to lift itself out of "pretty and pretty enjoyable" - I liked it but I don’t think I’m going to remember much about it. 8/10

VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - It has the feel of a one act, with such a limited cast and location, which reminds me of KBL. Still watching these two quietly fall in love and process affection through their own art forms is sweet. This is a very soft gentle show.

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) - Toki, a delinquent but pure-hearted kid falls in love with his handsome phys-ed teacher, Sahara. This is very much my trope but very manga campy, which I don’t love. I’m quite torn. Toki is an idiot but a lovable one. But do I like it?

It's Airing But...

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). He has dimples (My Ride) but I don't think even dimples can motivate me to watch. You can tell me how this goes if you can find it.

SHADOW (Thai Gaga) 14 eps - I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all) even one featuring Singto and Fluke. I'm holding off. If told it's good, I'll binge.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes, so I'm waiting to binge if told it's safe.

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed with ep 1. Waiting to be told if I should bother.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until it completes its run.

In case you missed it

One Room Angel (Japan Gaga) finished. Adaptation of Harada’s manga (which I did not like) about a clerk who (nearly) dies and ends up cohabitating with an angel. I was warned that the ending would not work for me so I decided not to bother.

My Biker BL short movie from Wayu supposedly premiered Nov 27 on their YouTube Channel for Members to watch. I couldn't find anything further. The MDL description makes me think it's not for me so I bother.

Next Week Looks Like This

Short list of the December offerings.

12/9 Cherry Magic (Thai remake) YouTube 10 eps

12/9 Behind the Shadows (Korea movie) ??

12/14 Dear Kitakyushu (Thai/Japan movie) ??

12/23 Dead Friend Forever (Thai horror) iQIYI

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED). With the end of the year upon us I'll do an "announced for 2023 but never happened list" soon.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I love these dudes so much, and make no mistake they def dudes. On point banter, my dudes. (Sign)

Yes they are cute but so far that's all this show has going for it. (Middleman's Love)

I'm a simple human, I just like seeing Off kneeing. (Cooking Crush)

(Last week)

#this week in bl #bl updates #A Breeze of Love reviewed #bl review #a breeze of love #korean bl #Last Twilight #Thai BL #My Dear Gangster Oppa #for him the series #gmmtv #cooking crush #offgun #off jumpol #Pit Babe the series #middleman's love #the sign the series

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tanglepelt · 1 year

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Dp x dc idea 3

In this phantom planet happened but they did not thank him they turned on him Dc and dp are in different dimension in this.

His parents managed to convince world leaders that phantom killed there boy and was just using Danny body. The world only agreed because they were terrified of his powers.

Jazz tried to convince them, they were wrong and he is Danny. Sam and tucker are trying to protect Danny and elli. I’d imagine all of Casper high backing Danny the a list did protect him when the whole gauntlet of reality happened.

When all is said and done the world took no prisoners. Danny, Ellie and vlad (he’s still hiding in space) are the worlds most wanted. Dani and Ellie were severely injured and hardly able to get away.

They wake up with frostbite and clockwork over them. The world is no longer safe but they can’t remain in the infinite realms they are half human. The obvious solution send them to a different dimension.

They were sent to dc and end up in Gotham. All they had was a thermos, Ellie took a lipstick laser gun, and some medical supplies from frostbite. Danny is pissed off and hurt he doesn’t want to hurt anyone but he only wants to protect his sister.

Danny was willing to steal enough money to get a shabby hotel room for a month or so to figure things out. He got to fake identity’s and a job at bat burger he may not like anyone but he doesn’t want to have to steal more then he has to.

Elli the little menace that she is still wants to help people. It’s her personal mission to annoy red hood until he puts up with her what’s he gonna do shoot a kid. She wants to avoid Batman both Danny and Ellie think he is a demon with bat powers. Danny cant stop Ellie so he just mother hens her. He would be ready for when they turned on them this time.

Red hood is just freaking out there is a child meta no older then 10 in Gotham just following him and beating up people. He’s not Bruce he doesn’t want to deal with this. Following this child calling herself spirit was harder to then he’d admit. She went from white hair to prime adoption bait and great she has an older brother no older then 15. How was he gonna keep the two pieces of adoption bait away from bruce and why did he feel calmer around them.

Besides worrying about Ellie Danny was doing just fine ignoring his problems. Working at bat burger was fine definitely not reminding him about the nasty burger explosion that lead to him abandoning humanity. There was a regular who would just stare at him like he was glowing.

Duke was freaking out.

By the time Jason got forced into a mandatory dinner the two adoption bait were there. He did get a warning from cass not to ask Danny about his past he was greatly hurt by whatever it is. Ellie immediately knew he was red hood the minute he walked in. He was definitely getting a lecture about not reporting meta children.

As time goes on Ellie gets more open and talks about her dimension, how it turned on them and talk about her hero phantom. She was just his clone how he saved her and she met Danny because of him . How he saved everyone in a town that hated him. How he saved the world and they turned on them. They were horrified but Bruce got two new kids and finally had one who wasn’t a vigilante who liked galas.

During a bad fight against a massive invasion were everyone was down. Danny was just watching from the bat cave as Ellie and his new family went down. Alfred just looks at him and hands him a mask asking if he was going to go help.

Danny does and takes names. He downs the threat in less then two minutes just grabs Ellie and Damian they were the most injured looked at Batman and said he was taking them. Then he starts to mother hen them at the batcave.

The league and Batman were now freaking out.

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lena-in-a-red-dress · 13 days

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Fallout AU - Brotherhood of Steel

Kara is a vault dweller whose vault falls to raiders. Her parents send her to the surface to escape, but are killed before they can join her. She's left alone and lost in a harsh, cruel world. She's taken in by the brotherhood of steel just on the brink of death.

Kara is raised and trained and punished and made stronger, until one day she's selected to be anointed as a squire. She's seen knights before, and they've all been cruel and abusive with their power, all too willing to grind their heels into the backs of those beneath them.

So when she's assigned to Knight Crixus, she expects nothing different. When Crixus sears her brand into the back of Kara's neck, she braces herself for years of servitude under a cruel master... until she's granted knighthood herself.

After the anointing ceremony, five knights and their brand new squires are assigned the same mission-- locate and seize a fugitive in possession of a certain artifact. An artifact that would give control of the wastelands to whomever possesses it.

Kara hauls her lord's oversized gear bag into their assigned helicopter. Crixus mounts the transport easily in her heavy armor, leaving Kara to kip herself up on her own. Kara's expectations were right-- to a degree. She's assigned menial labor in the form of cooking, cleaning, and repairs. Meanwhile, Crixus never leaves his armor.

While searching a quadrant of their assigned grid, they discover an old hazardous waste site. There's something sinister about it, and Kara has heard enough tales of knights and their ill-fated squires to know she's expected to scout the cave before her master.

To her surprise, however, when Kara draws her sidearm and steps forward, he blocks her with a gauntleted arm.

"Wait here," he orders, the voice modulator turning it into a growl.

He levers his gatling from his back, settling it into his metal hands in a familiar grip. Then he stomps forward, his pneumatic tendons hissing with each step. Kara considers staying put, but her instincts pull her forward after her master.

They stalk into the cave, searching its corners for any sign of a threat. When they find none, Kara lowers her gun. Strange.

Only then does she notice the sudden, deathly stillness in the cave. Something was very, very wrong. She turns just as Crixus lunges for her, and catches sight of the enormous Abomination behind her before Crixus tackles her to one side. The swipe from the abomination catches steel instead of Kara's flesh.

Before Crixus can turn and ready his weapon, the abomination sinks its maw into the back of his neck and tears him away from Kara. Crixus goes flying, smacking into a tree that splinters from the impact. The abomination follows him, tackling Crixus before he can even get to his feet.

Kara scrambles up, but all she can is watch as the abomination paws and scrapes and gnaws at Crixus, as Crixus tries to punch the beast's great snout to release him. It doesn't, not until the armor suit gives a final hiss, Crixus goes still.

Only then does it turn back to Kara, stalking towards her with slow, predatory steps. Kara reaches for her sidearm, but her holster is empty. She doesn't dare cast a glance around for it, doesn't dare take her eyes from the abomination.

Heart pounding, Kara struggles to think, to come up with a plan that doesn't end with her dead. She doesn't have the time. The beast lunges, and Kara yells in panic.

In the next moment, the abomination slides to the cave floor at her feet, dead with the back of its skull missing. She finds it clenched in Crixus' fist, dripping with blood and brain matter. Then Crixus staggers, his armor smoking and whining in distress.

"Don't just stand there," Crixus growls. "Get me out of this fucking thing."

Kara can't quite reach the release, so she has to half help, half drag the knight towards the tree he'd been flung into, until he was able to slump against it. Kara quickly gets to work, all while Crixus mutters and grunts with curses.

The helmet is the first to spring open, but Kara doesn't stop to think until the rest of the suit follows. It's not until she's dragged her master from the suit and props him against the tree that she notices.... Crixus isn't a he.

"Fuck," her master says, bracing a broken arm against what can only be busted ribs. Ribs sitting below a chest that heaves for breath-- a chest that is decidedly not as male as Kara anticipated.

"Holy shit."

"Stim pack," Crixus gasps. He-- she-- nods towards the forgotten gear bag. "Stim pack, stim pack, stim pack..."

Kara shakes herself back into action. "Right! Um..."

She rifles through the gearbag until she finds the medkit, and wastes no further time in plunging the syringe into her master's neck. It takes only a few moments for the drugs to take effect, dulling the pain enough for Crixus to slump in exhaustion against the tree.

"You... you're--"

"No shit." Crixus rolls her eyes.

Kara blinks. "You saved my life."

She doesn't understand. The very concept of a knight risking anything for a squire is anathema to the Brotherhood. Knights were paramount in value-- squires were expendable. Less than expendable. There's always another page to be anointed and take her place.

"Why?"

Crixus glares at her. "You tell me, squire."

Collecting the other items from the medkit, Kara gathers a long branch and breaks it over her knee before kneeling beside the knight. She gingerly takes the woman's broken arm, and begins to fashion a splint around it.

"My name is Kara, Knight Crixus."

Green eyes regard her solemnly. Then she looks away. "Lena."

The revelation shocks Kara, that so soft a name could be ascribed to a knight so tough. She rolls it around in her mind for a short moment before her whole body jolts.

"Wait-- Lena? As in Elder Lex's sister?"

"Surprise."

#supercorp #fallout au #brotherhood of steel au #just one possible au i might run with #its the one thats burrowing in my brain anyway

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mamawasatesttube · 11 months

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ooo prompt time!! maybe “if we’re going down, i’m going with you.” or “if you insult them, you insult me.” with timkon?

"This doesn't look great," Kon observes.

Tim lowers his binoculars. The flotilla of invading spacecraft in the valley below are primed to attack the alien village on the other side of the hills within the hour, and help from offworld won't get here until dawn. Which is significantly more than an hour away. The village hardly has anything to call "defenses", and no troops to speak of other than farmers and their kids, untrained and armed with pitchforks.

"Yeah, not great," Tim agrees. It's a pretty apt summary of the situation. Fucking Slag conquerors. "I get the feeling they aren't gonna be interested in baseball this time, either."

Kon snorts. But the levity in his face is belied by the tension running through his body; his shoulders are tight, his jaw squared as he stares down the gentle slope from their hidden observation deck down to the ships. He looks remarkably like Clark when he's serious, when his eyes turn stormy and protective.

Then he turns his gaze to Tim, and an invisible touch ghosts over Tim's lower lip. Tim belatedly realizes he's been biting it so hard he's very close to drawing blood.

"Don't do that," Kon murmurs. The stormy look hasn't diminished, but it's warmer, when he looks at Tim.

"Right." Tim is hard-pressed, just for the most fleeting of moments, not to reach for him; he yearns, for an instant, but he doesn't, because there's work to be done. Like the alien death trap at the bottom of the hill. "Well. I might be able to disrupt their local lcommunications array, if I can just get my hands on one of their computers. That might buy us some time."

Kon nods. "And I can definitely wreck some shit to distract them while you do that."

A brief pause, as they survey the Slag ships. They've got heavy enough artillery that even with Kon's formidable powers, the odds are looking very... not great. A little flutter of anxiety thrums through Tim's stomach, not at the idea of dying here himself (though he doesn't love that either), but at the idea of losing Kon. If he takes it on himself to go out in a blaze of glory and hellfire, just to save one little farming village on a planet far from their own...

As if reading his mind, Kon clears his throat. "Look, Rob... I can just go in and break a lot of shit solo. That'll still probably buy enough time. You don't have to go in on such a risky one with me. I can drop you back at—"

Tim whaps him on the head. "Stop that. You know I'm not hiding and letting you go in alone."

Kon shrugs, a slight, rueful smile playing about his lips. "Hey, worth a shot. Since we're about to get shot at. A lot."

Rolling his eyes, Tim folds his binoculars and clips them back to his belt, then reaches over and takes Kon's hand. "Yeah, well, if you're going down, I'm going with you."

This time, Kon snorts. "And sugar, we're goin' down swingin'," he sings, squeezing Tim's hand.

Tim surprises himself by laughing. Honestly, it shouldn't be a surprise; Kon always makes him laugh, even when he least expects it. "I'll be your number one with a bullet," he sings back. "A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it."

As one, they turn to look back down at the flotilla below. The Slag ships sit ominously on the dark valley floor, a blot of light where none should be.

They better survive this, Tim thinks. It'd be really stupid to die now to a squadron of the same alien conquerors who they beat at baseball years ago.

"You know, I always thought that line was 'a load of god complex'," Kon admits, stroking his chin with his free hand. "Like, the whole thing was a dick joke and a gun thing, and also saying, like, hey, get a load of this guy and his god complex!"

Tim snorts again, unable to stop himself from grinning despite the gravity of it all. "Only you, Kon."

"Fall Out Boy is unintelligible!" Kon defends. His thumb strokes along the base of Tim's, rubbing a circle through his gauntlet, and Tim glances up at him briefly to see him smiling again, though the set of his jaw is no less resolute.

Tim loves him.

"You ready for this, clone boy?" he asks.

"With you at my back?" Kon returns. "Always."

#timkon #sorry im just soooooo thinking about battle couple. they. wah #tim #kon #crimzoncrow #rimi writes

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droptoeholdyourhorses · 6 months

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The Best Friends Deserve Bester

Chuck Taylor and Trent Beretta have been teaming together as The Best Friends since August 2013. In January 2014, they won PWG's Dynamite Duumvirate Tag Team Title Tournament, becoming number one contenders to the PWG World Tag Team Championship. They lost their subsequent challenge against The Young Bucks at Mystery Vortex II. The only other time Chuck and Trent have competed for those titles was at 2019's Hand of Doom where they lost to The Rascalz. What that means is that out of seven teams who won the PWG DDT4 between 2007 and 2015, The Best Friends are the only ones to have never held the PWG World Tag Team Championship.

Alright, well maybe they had better luck in NJPW. Trent's a four-time IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champion with Rocky Romero. If Roppongi Vice can succeed, then I'm sure The Best Friends can... come fourth in the B Block in the 2017 World Tag League and finish eighth overall in the 2018 League.

No, that make sense. Best Friends as a team have always been predominantly American based. What about their ROH run in 2017? I know they had a few title matches there.

Loss vs. The Young Bucks in ROH World Tag Team Championship tornado three way match at Best in the World 2017 (also featured War Machine)

Loss vs. Kenny Omega & The Young Bucks in ROH Six Man Tag Team Championship match at Global Wars 2017 Day 3 (teamed with Flip Gordon)

Loss vs. Kenny Omega & The Young Bucks in ROH Six Man Tag Team Championship match on ROH Wrestling Episode #326 (teamed with Rocky Romero)

Loss vs. Motor City Machine Guns in ROH World Tag Team Championship match at Final Battle 2017

Ok, enough messing around. Let's get into the AEW run. Orange Cassidy has done a great job as International Champion. Kris Statlander is enjoying a good reign as TBS Champion. How have Chuck and Trent done?

Win vs. SCU and Private Party at Fyter Fest 2019 to advance to All Out for an opportunity at a first round bye in the AEW World Tag Team Championship tournament (good start)

Loss vs. Dark Order at All Out 2019 (who needs a first round bye anyway?)

Loss vs. SCU in first round of AEW World Tag Team Championship tournament (ah, that bye would have been handy)

Loss vs. Kenny Omega & Adam Page in a Number One Contender's Fatal Four Way (also featured The Young Bucks and Proud & Powerful) (got four-and-a-half stars from Dave Meltzer)

Loss to The Young Bucks in a Number One Contender's Battle Royal (not gonna list all the other teams)

Win vs. Private Party in a Number One Contender's match at Double Or Nothing 2020 (that's more like it)

Win vs. Chris Jericho & Sammy Guevara to remain number one contenders (yes, go on lads!)

Loss vs. Kenny Omega & Adam Page in AEW World Tag Team Championship match on Dynamite: Fyter Fest 2020 Day 1 (ah, damn it)

Loss to FTR in Number One Contender's Gauntlet match (again, not gonna list all the other teams)

Win vs. Proud & Powerful in a Parking Lot Fight (FIVE STARS BAYBEE!)

Loss to reDRagon in a Number One Contender's Battle Royal (AEW love them some battle royals)

Loss to The Young Bucks in a Number One Contender's Casino Tag Team Royale (this was literally the week after the previous battle royal)

Win w/Orange Cassidy vs. The Trustbusters in first round of AEW Trios Championship tournament (ooo, promising)

Loss w/Orange Cassidy vs. Adam Page & Dark Order in semi-final of AEW Trios Championship tournament (never mind, I guess)

Loss w/Orange Cassidy vs. Death Triangle for vacant AEW Trios Championship (can't tell me they shouldn't have won this one given PAC was already All-Atlantic Champion at the time)

Loss w/Orange Cassidy vs. Death Triangle in AEW Trios Championship match (one day lads, one day)

Loss w/Orange Cassidy to AR Fox & Top Flight in $300,000 Three Kings Christmas Casino Trios Battle Royal (we're really taking the piss now with these battle royals)

Loss to Jay Lethal & Jeff Jarrett in Revolution Tag Team Battle Royal (they were literally the runners up in this one, come on)

Loss w/Orange Cassidy vs. House of Black in AEW Trios Championship match (stop teasing me)

Loss vs. Aussie Open in IWGP Tag Team Championship match (they could have had a Japan run after all)

Loss w/Bandido vs. House of Black in AEW Trios Championship match (Bandido's cool but surely it's gotta be Orange for the eventual trios run)

Loss vs. Aussie Open in ROH World Tag Team Championship Fatal Four Way at ROH Death Before Dishonor 2023 (also featured Lucha Bros and The Kingdom) (another big win coming any day now)

Loss vs. Jon Moxley & Claudio Castagnoli in Parking Lot Brawl (four-and-a-half stars for the Parking Lot sequel)

Win w/Orange Cassidy, Eddie Kingston & Penta vs. Jon Moxley, Claudio Castagnoli, Wheeler Yuta, and Proud & Powerful in Stadium Stampede at All In 2023 (the biggest of big wins, another four-and-a-half stars)

Loss to Dark Order in ROH Number One Contender's Battle Royal (great way to follow up that momentum after All In)

Loss to The Righteous in ROH Number One Contender's Fatal Four Way (also featured The Hardys and The Kingdom) (again, great follow up)

Obviously there's been more matches in between the ones I highlighted. The Best Friends have had some good moments here and there but overall, it feels like there's been missed opportunities. No follow up after the initial Parking Lot Brawl. No Trios Championship run. Lost in the shuffle again following All In.

The Best Friends deserve bester.

#aew best friends #chuck taylor #trent beretta

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therobotmonster · 27 days

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In honor of he who died and rose after three days in the grave and now grants life ever lasting to his followers I thought it only right I got into the spirit once. So Dracula, this one's for you:

Just look at it.

You have what appears to be (and is) an accountant being menaced by boobalicious vampire women twice his size, so he's got Ethan Winters beaten to the punch by 34 years. But don't be fooled. One glance into his 30-yard stare and its obvious why only Mr. Weems can stop these sinister She-Vampires:

Weems is dead on the inside yet still living, where the she-vampires are animated from within with life, while dead.

He is their antithesis.

So yeah, a pile of jank with a fun name crossed my path, and now you all have to hear about it. If you're not hitting 'J', you have no one to blame but yourself.

Released on a scad of systems, but mostly the ZX Spectrum and the C64, The Astonishing Adventures of Mr. Weems & the She-Vampires is a sort of 'Gauntroidvania'. It's also trying to push the limits of how titillating a pre-NES era game could be, though the C64 port's interface missed that memo.

The hacked c64 version was the one I played, but giantbomb had a lot of gifs from the ZX verison that I've upscaled for demonstration purposes.

The only bit of story is from the back package. Weems wants to feel something, so he's decided to take on the Great She-Vampire or die in her buxom grasp. Fair.

This game is not recommended for people with epilepsy, dignity, or in general.

Mr. Weems has a garlic gun to defend his ever-dropping blood supply (vampire hunter is an odd professon with anemia) and destroy the baddies...

All three of them, which are all introduced on the first screen!

You've got bats, they pop out of pots and attack you.

The manual says these guys are Frankenstein's' monsters, but they're clearly the giant from Twin Peaks trying to warn you that you've bought a dud.

On the C64, the lesser she-vampires are clearly based on Dracula's brides, whereas on the ZX, they're more like ghosts with big naturals.

Which means that to get both kinds of vampire babe from the secondary cover, you'd have to buy a cassette for your c64, and and for your ZX. And I don't mean a cartridge, I mean a, Cassette tape.

If you manage to stalk your way all the way to the end and find the gear you need to destroy her, the Great She-Vampire awaits:

There's no boss fight, but there is a 1 pixel nip, at least on the ZX spectrum.

From there you book it back the way you came, only every screen now has a she-vampire chasing you in a murderous rage. Make it out, and you win. Or maybe you didn't, because just like the Dungeon of Fear and Hunger, you can never really escape Mr. Weems & the She-Vampires.

Only Weems increases the immersion by truamatizing you, the player. Mr. Weems is fine. You don't have to worry about the Weems.

So...

Is it a good game?

Not remotely, but that isn't the point in the slightest.

It's temping to say this is the Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies of video games, but that's not quite right. Weems has promise and ISCWSLaBMUZ doesn't make promises. It issues threats.

Mr. Weems has the charm of a concept that's all potential and zero execution. A dead-eyed accountant gunning his way in a Gauntlet-esq blitz through a vampire-babe infested castle is a fun idea, more-so with all the secret passages and 'gather items and backtrack to the boss' aspect. It's just everything else that goes wrong.

I mean, who doesn't want to hunt the Great She-Vampire to her penthouse for a good staking, I ask you?

#the astonishing adventures of mr. weems #retrogaming #zx spectrum #commodore 64 #Mr. Weems #she-vampires #vampires #bad games #80s #twin peaks #dracula #transylvania 6-5000 #geena davis #weird obsessions #jank #so bad its good #I swear I'm not fucking with you #this time

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sculptorofcrimson · 9 days

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Genderbent Thunder Warriors when?

A/N: Some funny crack. Genderbent Ushotan.

Relationships: You'll see :3

The Cast: Valdor(mentioned), Ushotan(genderbent), Kandawire

~~~~

She saw the warriors emerge through the night-blown snow, standing motionless against the dark. For a moment, she thought they were Custodians, though their stature was not quite the same, and their armour not of the same quality. Up closer, and you could see the great differences – the plate was cruder, heavier, more bronze than gold. Much of it was heavily damaged, and individual plates had been replaced with cruder hammered steel. They still wore their crimson plumes, though, and still donned their thick crimson cloaks, all of it sodden in the freezing deluge. They carried their old weapons, the ones that had once been used in the Unity propaganda vids. She remembered seeing the first cuts of those, years ago, and laughing at the absurdity of them. No one was laughing now. They looked as savage as she had ever seen them, bereft of their old chains of command and now fighting out of bitter, wounded pride. Every movement they made brought a snarl of badly maintained servos, and you could smell the stink of atrophying flesh even through the storm’s lash. They did not have long, whatever the outcome here

They said nothing to her. Some, she recognised, were already deep into their pre-combat mania, and were working hard to maintain control of their faculties. Others were merely morose, or fixated on what was to come. Danger hung over them like a fog, creeping out into the frigid night. They had always been designed to cause terror, and that capacity at least had not yet eroded.

As she walked among them, she could sense a strange sense of…amusement, almost pooling off from their veins. As if they knew something she did not. One leered at her as she passed. She held his gaze, just long enough, before turning away.

She saw their master last, just as was appropriate. Armor colored a bronze so dark it might have been iron, lined with blood-red lacquer and covered in battle-honours, the finest ornaments encrusted with dust and ash. The Thunder Warrior’s helm was encrusted with heavy decoration, the vox-grille formed into a permanent grimace. A titanic broadsword swung in one gauntlet, a projectile gun in the other. A tabard, scaled like a fish’s flanks, hung from a curved and intricately decorated breast-plate, and the Primarch’s blunt greaves scored with the lightning strikes of the Legio.

Valdor was taller, it was true, but there was something absolutely brutal about the Primarch before her – a kind of amplified viciousness that made her eyes sting.

The High Lord came closer, staring up at the giant. Her lips parted, jaw dropping slowly in a silent gesture of surprise.

‘Lord Primarch Ushotan,’ she said, respectfully, her voice stunned with surprise and shock. ‘It is good to finally meet you.’ she finally managed.

Amusement glinted behind that helmet. The Primarch of the IVth legion tossed back her ridged helm and laughed. Her laugh was sharp and guttural.

‘You, too,’ she said, chuckling. The Primarch of the IVth legion steps closer, and Kandawire could see the Primarch’s breath pluming out past her rebreathers.

Her voice was horrific. What had once been raucous laughter had been turned into a corroded scrape, dragging up from strained vocal cords and strangled by a damaged vox-unit. She laughed again, her chuckles growling and guttural like a wolf unrestrained, but still just about in control. Almost sane. ‘Didn’t know if you had the spine to see this through. Pleased to have my faith confirmed.’

The Primarch of the Iron Lords. The victor of Maulland Sen. Warrior, Primarch, captain, commander, mistress. Ushotan noted her surprised gaze, returning with a chuckle of her own.

‘You look surprised. I don’t blame you.’

‘I meant no offense, Lord…Lady Primarch.’ Kandawire said, looking up at the giantess with what felt like a daze.

‘There was none taken. Captain-General did not speak much of me, did he?’

Kandawire thought for a moment, then replied. ‘No. He certainly did not.’

‘Serves that bastard right.’ Ushotan huffed, her well-decorated chestplate rising and falling as she growled at the air, hands clenching and unclenching around the pommel of her sword. ‘I’ll kill him either way. Slowly.’

‘I never wanted things to come to this.’ Kandawire did not know how long she had before the Primarch’s attention faded from her.

‘None of us did.’ Ushotan looks away. Her ridged helm hid her grimace. She instead shakes her head.

‘I wish to remind you – no more bloodshed than is needed. No anarchy. We are restoring, not destroying.’

Ushotan came closer. Her helm was frosted with ice, her hair a knotted mess that had been hastily cropped so only its ends hung limply from her helmet. Plumes of ragged breaths were vented from the outlets on her rebreather. She remembered how Valdor had described her, up in Maulland Sen at the extremity of the world.

Like the ghost of all murders.

Ushotan was close enough to glare down at her now. The giantess’ eyes were mirthless, her hidden smile a crooked path amid a visage twisted by madness. In a surprisingly graceful motion, she abruptly drops to a kneel before Kandawire, lowering herself until they were nearly eye to eye. Her breath fogged over Kandawire’s face. She smelled blood, the scent of ancient metal and the sterile fumes of combat stims, mixed with what vaguely resembles a scent of old oil.

‘You want to know.’ Ushotan mused, looking her dead in the eye. ‘It does not matter, but you still want to know.’

‘Yes.’

‘You haven’t earned it.’ Ushotan doesn’t laugh again, but she makes a chuffing noise, forcing a sound out of her ruined throat. ‘But I’ll tell you anyways.’

Still kneeling in the snow, Ushotan laughs again, and begins.

‘Constantin. You should’ve seen him then, so glorious in his invincibility. He was the first the Emperor created, and this, you already know. But he was also terrible to behold. The Emperor’s Spear, His finest weapon, and there was none after him, and certainly none before him. The process He used for the first Custodes was never replicated again.’ Ushotan shrugs. ‘He alone, he was unique. The first of the Custodes, greater than the rest of them all. But enough about Constantin. I’m sure you’ve already seen his brothers and sisters, much to your surprise. But you’ve never seen me. The propaganda vids made you think the Cataegis process would only work on males, eh?’

‘I suppose so, Lady Primarch.’ Even now, Kandawire was still unsure how to address her. ‘I had not expected…’

‘They lied.’ Ushotan replied bluntly. Almost unconsciously, Ushotan touches her throat, her gorget ringing as the Thunder Warrior digs her fingers into the ruined steel. ‘They lied. It worked on women, certainly, but not…well. The results were horrendous. It was like forcing a creation into what will never be. Even the Custodes struggled sometimes with their candidates, much less speaking of the Thunder Warriors. But the King was desperate. The Imperium took whatever recruits it had, in its earliest years. I was one of the poor bastards chosen, and by some freak of fate, I was one of those that lived. But they weren’t stable, no, even for a Thunder Warrior. They were fanatics. Screaming about the Emperor as their God.’ She chuckled again, mirtlessly.

‘Their god?’ Kandawire had believed it preposterous. The Emperor was a man. A great man, but a man nonetheless.

Ushotan smiled underneath that mask. She does not laugh, however.

‘Their god.’

‘That’s preposterous.’

‘It is not.’ Ushotan shrugged her massive shoulders. ‘Didn’t affect their combat any. or all their augments, for all their madness, they were still sisters in battle, more or less. Doesn’t matter, does it? Worship never razed a city. Constantin himself never cared much, and it no longer matters. His treachery is all that matters. Whatever we had then, it didn’t matter anymore after Ararat.’

It could, thought Kandawire. Worship absolutely could, in fact, raze a city. But it didn’t matter, of course, the Primarch was already dusting herself off, and preparing to leave.

‘And why are you telling me this? About…Constantin.’ Valdor’s first name tasted foreign on her tongue.

‘Why?’ Ushotan almost looks surprised, turning around before she left.

Kandawire swallowed, and gave the giantess a hesitant nod. ‘About Constantin. You and him.’

‘You really don’t know do you?’ Ushotan had stopped turning away. She was looking at her very intensely now, with a scrutinizing quality not unlike interrogation. Or rage.

Then a smile, as slow as the rumbling of glaciers, breaks across that jagged expanse of a face, and she keels over, as if struck, her broad frame echoing with spasms. Kandawire, surprised, almost unconsciously takes a step back, before realizing the Thunder Warrior Primarch was laughing.

She was laughing.

Ushotan howls her ragged laugh, and the chorus was taken up by her men in a horrible, amused symphony. They laughed, like corpses waiting to be put back to their grave, their combined voices not so unlike the rumble of ancient beasts spurred for war, they laughed in some kind of collective, amusing joke that Kandawire was not privy to.

‘He didn’t tell you, did she?’

‘No, Lord Primarch…I’m afraid not.’

‘He didn’t tell you we were lovers, eh?’

#sculptor of crimson #warhammer 40k #wh40k #constantin valdor #adeptus custodes #warhammer #wh40k writing prompts #thunder warriors #ushotan #genderbend #ushotan x valdor #ushotan/valdor #i forgot the tag

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goldcrabstudios · 2 months

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Just 2 more days until Great Gun Gauntlet enters Early Access on Steam! Here's a few more recent screenshots we took while testing.

#Great Gun Gauntlet #GreatGunGauntlet #GGG #GoldenCrab #GoldenCrab Studios #game #games #gaming #indiegames #indiedev #indiegame #videogame #video game #steam #earlyaccess #arcade #screenshots

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howlingday · 3 months

Note

Mmm, the Inquisition is making their demands. I daresay some would have issues with that. Tales and stories of Remnant has already spread by now. Orks like this world because of the Grimm but I imagine there's another Chapter of Marines that like the fight of the Grimm.

A chapter that's...angry.

A chapter that won't tolerate the Inquisition.

A chapter that's ALWAYS ANGRY!!! ALL THE TIME!!!

Behold! THE ANGRY MARINES!!!

A special thank you to @warmastercain55 for providing me the link to the wiki regarding this famous/infamous homebrew blend of Space Marines. More and more, I learn about the Warhammer community, and more and more I am amused and terrified of what lies within. That said, here is the sequel to my prior post regarding the Ordo Hereticus.

..............................................................

Jaune shivered with tears in his eyes as he watched his friends being loaded into strange device. He openly sobbed as he watched Pyrrha being hauled in, unconscious and unceremoniously dumped inside like a sack of flour. He never considered himself lucky, not in the slightest when compared to the other students with years of training already under their belts. Sadly, that training proved ineffective against the totalitarian regime that was the "Empire of Mankind," and it was only by his own natural luck that he escaped their claiming of these "psykers" that were his friends with unlocked semblances.

Suddenly, there was a loud scream, louder than anything Remnant had heard before. Suddenly, the grounds of Beacon were bombarded and cratered in by huge metal eggs from the sky. Suddenly, there was shouts of untempered rage echoing across the grounds.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Roared the Inquisitor. "We did not call for assistance from the Astartes!"

"No, but I did." Headmaster Ozpin replied. "We will not permit invaders who think they can bully their way into Remnant."

"You..." The Inquistor shook with rage. "You here-" He choked on his words as the headmaster smashed his cane into the Inquistor's throat.

"You are the heretics here!" Ozpin roared, loud enough for everyone to hear.

"WHO'S A FUCKING HERETIC?!" A booming voice, accompanied by the terrified screams of students awaiting to be taken away. A gilded giant stomped his way into Ozpin's direction. "WHO'S THE FUCKING DEAD MOTHERFUCKER WHO THINKS THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH HERESY?!"

The woman in black armor stepped in between. "It is these insubordinates falsely accusing our inquisition of-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SPEAK PLAINLY, YOU GODDAMN WHITE HAIRED COCKSUCKING WHORE!"

"They're heretics." Ozpin pointed plainly at the Inquisitor, who was still grasping his throat.

"FUCKING HERETIC!" Pulling free his warhammer, the gold and red titan roared his battle cry. "ALWAYS ANGRY, ALL THE TIME!"

The Sister of Battle tried to silence his rage with gunfire, her anger influenced by the space marine. Her aggression was met with even greater aggression as his hammer swung with great ferocity, reducing her head to red mulch.

Leaving nothing to chance, Jaune ran through the crowd and into the machine that was about to leave. A shrieking woman reached for him, but Jaune pulled loose his sword and struck the woman. Lacking aura, her face was easily sliced open, and her blood spilled from her cheek. This only fueled her anger as she reached for her gun but found her weapon too heavy to life. Behind her, Jaune could make out the all-too-familiar red hair of Pyrrha, his partner.

However, before he could make another attempt at the woman, she was pulled from the aircraft by a golden gauntlet, inscribed with the words, "FUCK YOU". Jaune looked to his friends and called for them all to leave. As he left with Pyrrha, they shared the view of pure chaos roaring across the once peaceful grounds of Beacon Academy. Professor Goodwitch called for students to hurry inside, while Professor Ozpin was busy fending off the Inquisitor. The situation was hell, and there was no way for this to get any worse.

"OI!" Jaune heard a booming shout, then turned to the distance where there was a heap of metal that shook and shuddered as a large green creature called from the inside. "YOU LOT HAVIN' A SCRAP?!"

#rwby #warhammer 40k #ordo hereticus #orks #adeptus sororitas #angry marines #jaune arc #pyrrha nikos #glynda goodwitch #my answer #my answers

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wen-kexing-apologist · 7 months

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Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

For those who are not aware, I have decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s Queer Cinema Syllabus and have officially started Unit 2: Race, Disability, and Class. The films in Unit 2 are: The Way He Looks (2014), Being 17 (2016), Naz and Maalik (2015), The Obituary of Tunde Johnson (2019), Margarita With a Straw (2014), My Beautiful Laundrette (1985), Brother to Brother (2004), and Beautiful Thing (1996)

Today I will be writing about

Naz and Maalik (2015) dir. Jay Dockendorf

[Available on Amazon, Run Time- 1:24, Language: English]

Summary: Two closeted Muslim teens hawk goods across Brooklyn and struggle to come clean about their sexuality, as their secretive behavior leads them unknowingly into the cross-hairs of the War on Terror.

Cast: Kerwin Johnson Jr. as Naz Curtiss Cook Jr. as Maalik

Another great film down, and plenty more to go. I very deeply appreciate the authenticity of this film in the way it highlights religion and the shittiness of cops.

I like that there is a kind of war against the older ways and the newer ways between Naz and Maaling. Naz appears to be much more religious than Maalik, he wears a kufi, he gives alms, he tries to pray five times a day. Not to say that Maalik isn’t religious, but he isn’t as hung up on what is and is not haram, he’s more comfortable in his sexuality, more willing to engage in PDA, but he’s less idealistic about the world.

I love the hustle and grind we see from these boys, but even more so I love when they spend time alone together. I love how much time we get to see them goofing off, touching shoulders, flirting, racing, just having fun. I love how much time this film dedicates to showing how Naz and Maalik’s relationship works. How it could work. I love that in New York City they have so many shots dedicated to just the two of them, to the peace and quiet and light that follows them when they are together.

I love even more that they fight, that they are messy and complicated, and how much of that is driven not by themselves, but everyone else around them. This film takes place post 9/11, during the War on Terror. For those who are not aware, the War on Terror is/was a global counterterrorism military campaign following 9/11. And like I said, this film does some pretty decent realism, especially when it comes to the portrayal of the FBI agents that spend all day tailing Naz and Maalik because they have been #profiled.

One of the main conflicts kicks off when an undercover cop tries to sell Naz and Maalik a gun. Maalik, trying to be funny, haggles for the weapon but does not end up buying it. But engaging in a joke like that is enough for this FBI agent to decide they should be followed. At which point, these two FBI agents essentially end up acting as voyeurs to Naz and Maalik’s secret love life.

The FBI waits until each boy is alone and isolated to question them, and Maalik is completely honest while Naz, scared about his parents finding out about his sexuality, lies about where he had been the night before. Once again, I loved the portrayal of this, of two eighteen-year olds trying to navigate the system that was built to punish them. Not because I’m thrilled they are being harassed, but because I am appreciative of not being subject to propaganda about law enforcement and how “good” they are.

I liked seeing the dichotomy between Naz and Maalik’s handling of the FBI agent, versus an older Black man handling questioning. How he’s trying his best not to give her any information, how he cites his right to not say anything to her without an attorney present. And in response he is treated with suspicion, the FBI agent tries pressing and pushing for more information, because that’s what cops do.

And I remain unsurprised when the FBI agent pulls a gun on Naz when he reaches in to his bag. I think there are statements being made when the FBI agent is pissed at Naz and Maalik for “wasting her time” and that the boys are compelled to apologize for the inconvenience, despite the fact they were literally just existing as Black muslims and the FBI agent decided that not buying a gun was enough of a reason to tail them all day.

But it is those outside pressures, the concern that they will be outed, that they will be disowned, that they will lose everything that starts driving a wedge between Naz and Maalik. That Naz’s sister finds out and Naz is scared she’ll tell their parents. Those all start when the FBI starts questioning them, though there are multiple other forces at play.

Now. I think I wrote up a post after I watched Love of Siam, and how fucking furious I was that they ended that film on a separation. But that does not mean I hate separation narratives in queer cinema (I hated the one in LoS because I felt tricked). But Naz and Maalik separating at the end makes sense given their circumstances. There is no winning here. Naz is too kind to slaughter a chicken, Maalik feels compelled to show that he can do it, and Maalik ends up wounded and the chicken ends up dead without either of them laying a hand on it. There are repercussions here, a car accident, an injured person that could have been spared by just killing the chicken. I like that despite the fact that Naz and Maalik do have multiple fights in the film, it is not a fight that breaks them up.

They both knew this was an inevitability, there aren’t hard feelings about it. It’s sad for both of them, but it happens almost casually. TI did find the ending of the movie very interesting. Because they chose to end it before Naz arrives home. Naz gets on the subway, sad about his separation with Maalik, scared about what is waiting for him at home, and he is stopped by the very same cop that tried to sell him a gun the other day. He is ticketed for riding his bike in the subway, and one of the last lines Naz has in the movie is something like “don’t I know you from somewhere?”

Because no matter what, he’ll just never catch a fucking break.

As an aside, I love how frequently homeless people are included in this film and how they are never regarded as scary or terrifying. One guy is mostly quiet and he either stares or sleeps. Another man is loud, rambunctious, and fucking funny. Naz and Maalik talk to a homeless woman, talk to some boys begging for money for medical treatment. I just love when homeless people are humanized, and I am glad that Naz and Maalik spends time focusing their lens on the people society often refuses to look at.

By/For/About Queers

Naz and Maalik is loosely based on an interview director Jay Dockendorf did with a closeted Muslim man that he sublet a room from. Dockendorf used this man’s life story as a jumping off point for his film. And it certainly feels like a film that is made for queer people, the way that it is structured. So ultimately, I think this is a gay trifecta.

Favorite Moment

My favorite moment is near the end of the film. Naz and Maalik have just made out and Naz has rejected the offer to take things further. Naz and Maalik lay in bed together, in just their boxers, and they read each other these shitty little poems that are attached to beanie babies that Naz acquired earlier in the film. I just love gay boys and their plushies, I’m a simple person. And once again considering that Ben created this syllabus to be a wind up to BLs, I think the plushie moment is worth noting because boys and their plushies is a recurring theme in a number of BLs. Teh and Oh have matching monster plushies in I Told Sunset About You. Bai Lang’s entire apartment is covered in plushies in My Tooth Your Love. Chinzilla keeps a plushie of a chinchilla on an alter in the music room in My School President. etc. etc.

And I love plushies every time because I love seeing moments of softness portrayed on screen.

Favorite Line

“Barack Obama*. It’s crazy. It makes white men smell like black men, so white women will like black men more.”

*fake name of a scented oil

I mean…come on. It’s perfect.

Score

8.5/10

I think the story was pretty good, and there are these incredible bright spots of powerful acting. But the director allowed space for a lot of improv, which in some capacities I think is good. However, it does often result in awkward line deliveries, that tend to take me out of the story because the acting fluctuates so much between brilliant and smooth, to conscious and stilted.

#bengiyo queer cinema syllabus #queer cinema syllabus #naz and maalik #naz & maalik #jay dockendorf #the way he looks #being 17 #the obituary of tunde johnson #margarita with a straw #my beautiful laundrette #brother to brother #beautiful thing

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teecupangel · 6 months

Note

I know we had a few Fire Emblem posts, but as I was playing Engage last night, I had a great idea; what if Desmond wound up being a ring and spirit in game? Alear and company would be so confused by him and Desmond would be so done with everything.

Alright, first of all:

The AC AU idea based on the Engage ring system

1 FE Three Hopes x AC crossover idea + 1 AC AU idea that uses a lot of Fire Emblem tropes

FE Fates x AC crossover idea where Desmond becomes Hoshidan royalty

“Is that… a bracelet?” Alear asked.

“It looks more like a gauntlet, Divine One.” Alfred commented as he rubbed his chin before asking Yunaka, “You say you heard it call to you?”

“That’s right!” Yunaka answered cheerfully, “I was just taking a stroll when I heard a man’s voice say…”

Yunaka cleared her throat before changing her voice into a deeper tone and said…

“Hey! Hey, you, yeah, you with that… uuhhh… colorful hair, I guess? Anyway, can you hear me?”

Yunaka’s voice returned to usual as she continued, “After I picked this up, he stopped talking. Do you think this could be another Emblem bracelet, Divine One?”

“I’m not sure.” Alear frowned at the ‘bracelet’ in Yunaka’s hands, “The other bracelets were from that world but we never saw something like this. Not to mention… Alfred is right, this looks more like a gauntlet than a bracelet.”

Alear reached out, their fingers grazing the stylized A embedded on the gauntlet.

Alear’s eyes widened and glowed a golden color, surprising Alfred and Yunaka, “Divine One?!”

The words left Alear as the gauntlet began to glow, “Pierce through the lies, Emblem of Creed!”

The gauntlet shone brightly before…

An Emblem spirit appeared before them, clad in clothes they had never seen before.

He opened his eyes and…

His eyes were gold.

Not the purple hues of the Emblems.

They were gold.

“Uuuhhh… where am I?”

Unorganized Notes:

They all agree Desmond is from another world which does not have rings.

If you want to make this a bit meta, Desmond could have played Fire Emblem before he got kidnapped. Of course, he only knows about the pre-2012 Fire Emblem that were localized in the US.

You guessed it, his Emblem Bracelet is a Hidden Blade.

From a gameplay perspective, he gives bonus stats on speed, dodge and attack. The skills he give are beneficial to the Thief class line.

His Engage form has his ‘user’ don the Assassin white robes that seemed to be a mix of Altaïr, Ezio and Ratonhnhaké:ton. His Engage weapon is primarily the Sword of Altaïr but he also has a Hidden Gun (Ezio) and a tomahawk (Ratonhnhaké:ton). His ‘ultimate’ though is done using the Hidden Blade that only appears whenever his user is Emblem Engaged. (Strangely enough, enemies seemed to become… dazed… when he’s near… Desmond believes that some kind of POE shit is happening but he can’t be sure)

In terms of story, he’d most definitely be closest to Yunaka because they understand each other. To be more exact, Desmond noticed early on that Yunaka is pretending to be cheerful all the time and he had guessed her past. Yunaka is the only one who realized that Desmond is an Assassin as most of them assumed he was some kind of ‘warrior’ like the other Emblems.

No one knows why Desmond’s eyes are not purple. Even as an Emblem, he’s a strange one.

Alear promised to help him find his way back to his world in exchange for helping them with their journey. Desmond doesn’t mind because he thinks they need all the help they can get. The fact that most of them are younger than him worries him to no end.

#i don’t necessarily like the chant used to awaken desmond #if you can think of anything better #let me know XD #ask and answer #assassin's creed #desmond miles #fic idea: assassin's creed #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: fire emblem #fic idea: crossover #fe alear #alear fire emblem #alfred fire emblem #yunaka #yunaka fire emblem #fire emblem engage

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five-rivers · 9 months

Text

Life's Great Lie 19

Getting closer to the end!

AO3

Tony gave Romanov a boost to get out past the stuck blast shutter. The room had tipped sideways – the fight below them had taken out at least one important support pillar, and although several of the builders had complained that Tony and Pepper had overengineered the building, everything had limits. Hopefully some of that ‘overengineering’ would keep the floor from falling out of the building entirely, but Tony didn’t feel like risking it, and neither did Romanov.

The problem was, that not all of the safety features had been installed or tested yet. Normally, there would have been an emergency release switch for the shutters, but as it was, it hadn’t been wired in. Tony would be complaining about that to the contractors, by the way. The wiring on this floor was supposed to be done.

Tony, in turn, activated the repulsors on his boots – one of the few armor pieces he had after Danny had more or less disassembled him – and grabbed the top of the shutter before swinging himself over. He did it with a lot less grace than Natasha and clipped his knee on the way over.

“Ow!” He stabilized himself. “Well. Let’s get going! Can’t get the scepter, might as well do the shields!”

Of course, Romanov was already way ahead of him. They jogged out into the corridor, and immediately ran into half a dozen men with guns.

So. This is where Loki’s mooks wound up. He’d been wondering.

Romanov threw the back of shield generators back at him. Which – first off, he could hold his own in a fight without armor, so, rude, secondly—

Romanov had already taken out three of the six men. The fifth gasped and passed out apropos of nothing. Tony punched the sixth and final one in the face, hard, with his still-gauntleted hand.

“Stark, Gray, you hearing me?”

“Bit busy!” screamed Valerie Gray in his ear.

“Uh, yeah, what’s up? Thought you were staying out of this fight, Fury.”

“We have a missile headed straight for the city.”

“I’m sorry, it sounded like you just said we had a missile headed for the city, but I know, I know you couldn’t have—”

“It’s nuclear and Phase Two, no more than ten minutes out, taking the storm into account.”

“A nuke? A nuke?”

“I don’t—JARVIS--?”

“Sorry, sir, the Mark VI is still not operational.”

“I don’t have a useable suit. Valerie, can your suit push a missile off course?”

“Wh—No! I can’t even carry three extra people on my board. I-- Holy crap!”

“I’m sorry,” said Danny Fenton, “did you say nuke?”

“It’s nuclear and Phase Two, no more than ten minutes out, taking the storm into account.”

“He did say nuke, didn’t he?” asked Sam as the conversation continued.

“Yep,” said Jazz. “Maybe if we take off, we could-- Could we ram it?”

“What would that do? Set it off early? Maybe my jetpack—”

“Wh—No! I can’t even carry three extra people on my board. I-- Holy crap!”

“I’m sorry,” said Danny, “did you say nuke?”

In the middle of evacuating the subway, Steve froze. This fight had been going on for less than half an hour. Who the hell had decided to use nukes?

He thumbed the control on his comm, intending to demand a repeat, but someone else beat him to it.

“I’m sorry,” said Danny Fenton, “did you say nuke?”

“A bit busy!” shouted Valerie, apropos of apparently nothing in the middle of the tag-team between them and Tucker.

She must have some form of communicator. A Fenton Phone, maybe? Or something built into her suit? It didn’t matter to Danny, honestly, he was busy, too. Tucker kept trying to use the mind control aspect of his staff on him, and although Danny was handily shrugging it off with his newfound passionate dislike of mind control and intense awareness of the magic mind control staff he was holding, it was still distracting.

“A nuke? A nuke?”

Not so distracting that he couldn’t hear that, though. Surely, no one was aiming a nuke at the city now. Right? Because that would be crazy. The portal was closed. Heck, both of the portals were closed, even if the GIW had a nuke (which in itself would be nuts, those guys were incredibly incompetent).

Crazy enough that even Tucker stopped what he was doing and turned to Valerie, slack-jawed.

Which made a great opening for Danny to yank the staff out of his hands. Tucker wobbled for a second, still wide-eyed, then his eyes rolled back in his head, and he crumpled. Danny caught him before he could fall off the platform he’d been standing on. Stark’s roof was a mess, and the sand sifting down out of the sky was only making it worse.

He put Tucker in the recovery position and made sure he was still breathing – he was – then turned his attention to Valerie. In his experience, overshadowing-related fatigue rarely killed people, so hopefully past-life-takeover fatigue wouldn’t either. Nukes were another story.

“Wh—No! I can’t even carry three extra people on my board. I—” Valerie startled badly, having failed to notice Danny getting closer. “Holy crap!”

“I’m sorry,” said Danny, trying to be polite, “did you say nuke?” He looked up at Valerie. “Can you turn that to speaker or something?”

Valerie retracted her helmet, and pulled a Fenton Phone from her ear, turning the volume all the way up.

“Danny, is that you?” asked Jazz.

“I’m not under mind control anymore. Is there really a nuke coming?”

“You and Thor are our only fliers, kid.” Danny wasn’t sure if that was Tony Stark or Captain America. “Can you move it?”

“I—Probably?” He could bench a school bus, and a nuke would probably be launched from a sub or a plane, neither of which were going to be lugging around school-bus-sized armaments. “But where would I put it? How long do I have to move it? Will it only go off with impact, or--?”

“Less than ten minutes.”

Oh.

“Maybe Tucker—”

“Wha?” asked Tucker, sitting up. He made an attempt to stand up, then sat right back down.

“Could you get rid of a nuke?” asked Danny, vaguely aware of a parallel conversation (“Has anyone spoken to Thor?” – “I think he burned out his comm.”) going on through the Fenton Phones. “If I gave you back the staff.” He even held it out to Tucker, as inadvisable as that was.

Tucker reached out, touched it with the very tip of his finger, and pulled back, the motion violently sharp. His nose started bleeding.

“No,” he said. “Out of power. I’m.” He waved at himself. “Notice how I wasn’t doing stuff like in Amity? A sandstorm was all… A nuke? What if you made it intangible?”

“I don’t know. That isn’t exactly something I’ve tested.” He waved his hands. “I’ve got to be touching the thing to make intangible. Explosions, explosions aren’t all one thing.” He knew that from experience.

“Maybe you could make the city intangible,” suggested Valerie, “and the blast would just miss.”

“Val,” said Danny, strained, “I don’t think I could even make this building intangible all at once.”

“The shields,” said his mother, breathlessly. “You could trap it in a shield. One of the modified ones.”

“It’s one of their original uses!” added his father. “Radiation barriers! Of course, we were worried about spectral radiation, but it wouldn’t be a Fentonworks product if we didn’t go above and beyond!”

“Okay,” said Danny. “Okay.” He duplicated himself. Once. Twice. Three times. Eight wasn’t a stable number for him, but he wasn’t going to try to fight. “I’m getting the ghosts.” If all else failed, maybe their natural shields could contain the nuke. “What do we need to set up the shields?”

“Romanov and I have the shields. We’re trying to get up to where you are, but—”

“Say no more.” A duplicate angled downwards, back through the building.

“You’ll need to get the missile in the right location as well. Right over Stark Tower, as close to where the portal was as possible,” said Mom. “That’s what our calculations are for, and we don’t have time to rerun them.”

“Okay, and other setup?”

“We need Selvig,” said Tucker, pointing back toward the penthouse. “I think he shut himself in a closet—”

“I’ll get him,” said Valerie.

“What else?” Danny asked Tucker.

Thor and Skulker, flying just outside the tower, obviously looking for Loki, were the first ones he found.

“Where is Lo—” started Thor.

“Later. For now, I need you to help me steer a nuke.”

“Pardon?” said Thor.

“Why is there a nuke?” asked Skulker.

“I’ll explain on the way.” Well. He’d try. He was as clueless about why there was a nuke as they were.

Black Widow and Tony Stark weren’t too far away from the lab they’d fought in.

“Ready to go up?” he asked, not waiting for a response before grabbing their elbows and flying straight up through the floor.

“Oh, that’s weird,” said Stark, stumbling a little when Danny set him down next to Tucker. He got right to work, taking the bag from Black Widow and pulling out a set of shield generators.

Danny’s duplicate was kneeling between Tucker and Selvig, helping him with splicing in cables, and Stark and Widow both did a very obvious double take when they noticed.

“Nice trick,” muttered Tony.

“Yeah,” said the other duplicate, as it fused with the other one to be more stable, but kept the extra arms. “I can’t do it while I’m human, though.”

Black Widow leaned back on her left leg. “Lucky us.”

“Great One!” exclaimed Frostbite, waving enthusiastically as he pulled a wicked spear out of the body of a space whale. “You’ve thrown off your compulsion!”

“Yep! But someone lobbed a superweapon at us and it’ll hit in five minutes!” He gestured in the general direction the nuke was coming from. “Help?”

Frostbite’s smile fell off his face entirely. So did those of all the other nearby yetis. “They what?”

Jazz felt useless. She wasn’t fighting the aliens, or evacuating people, or working on the shields. All she could do from here was direct communications. She knew that was important, vitally important, but it sort of felt pale and weak knowing that a nuclear bomb was racing straight towards Stark Tower.

Which was where her little brother was.

And Tucker.

And Valerie.

And about half of the ‘Avengers.’

And none of that even mattered, really, because all of Manhattan, if not all of New York City could be flattened by this thing. She was sure the Ops Center was in range, anyway.

“Jazz,” said Sam. “Look!”

She jerked her head up, looking away from the controls and out the main window. The day had started out bright and sunny, but between the smoke, the sandstorm, and possibly whatever Thor had done, the city now looked quite dark. Against that dark background moved dozens of motes of light, converging on Stark Tower, rising up from shadowy streets or corpses of defeated alien whales.

And, like a burning arrow, the missile knifed across the sky.

“We’re not going to get it done fast enough,” said Selvig.

“Don’t say that,” said Tucker. “Don’t say that.”

Tony hated to admit it, but Selvig was probably right. They’d only managed to complete the wiring and setting changes on one of the generators, and the missile was—

“Please,” said Loki.

Black Widow aimed an incredibly vicious kick directly at his crotch, but it passed through him, like he was smoke.

Another Loki leaned over Danny, reaching towards the unfinished portal generators. The portal generators shimmered and changed, becoming identical to the one they’d modified.

“An illusion—” started Tucker.

“The best lies are those you can make true.” Loki’s grin was sharp. “They will last only for a few minutes. I have no intention of trying my might against this nuclear missile of yours.” He raised his hand, showing off a Fenton Phone. So. That’s where Thor’s had gotten to. “You can trust me on this, at least.”

Thor saw the tower, and dropped his hand, letting Mjolnir pull him away from the weapon. He had done his part, pushing it up, to where the portal had once been. Now it was the ghosts’ task to take it the rest of the way.

Steve stopped and looked up, shading his eyes against the sky with one hand while the other snapped out to catch his shield. The missile was clear and visible, leaving a distinct trail of exhaust.

He closed his eyes and started reciting a prayer.

(It wasn’t as if the Hulk could be killed by something like a nuclear bomb, anyway. Still, something made him look up. Something made him hold the girl he’d just saved from a chitauri warrior just a little bit closer.)

“Now!” screamed Maddie.

Tucker flipped the switch.

Loki was at his limits, magically, but if he couldn’t push himself now, when could he? He raised his hand, and a thin layer of ice grew over them. A thin barrier, if he understood the nature of this weapon correctly, but a barrier nonetheless.

Above and around Stark Tower, the ghosts raised their hands. Shields formed, layers upon layers of them, intricate and interlocking; some ghosts floated outside them, others were wedged between layers, unable to be too far from the shields they were making without losing them. The innermost ghosts were six of Danny’s duplicates, orbiting the missile, which, for a split second, hung suspended in the perfect center of the shield.

Then it hit the other side.

Everything went white.

Danny pried his eyes open. The sky was blurry and greenish, and, for a moment, he panicked, convinced that he’d died all the way and was now in the Ghost Zone. But his vision cleared, and it soon became obvious he was looking at a sky that was blue, if very smoky and full of green… things. Shiny little motes of ectoplasm.

He was also lying in a very uncomfortable position. There was stuff on him. And under him. All around him, actually.

He sat up, pushing the remains of a couple shield generators and what looked like a good half of Loki’s portal device off himself.

This was… a good sign. If the shields hadn’t worked, all this stuff would’ve been vaporized. Probably. Danny supposed that it could’ve just stopped the blast, but not the radiation.

… Danny didn’t feel irradiated, but he was probably not the best judge for that kind of thing. He wondered who would be a good judge. The Hulk, maybe?

Dr. Selvig was on the ground next to him, unconscious and bruised but alive. Danny picked some of the debris off him, but otherwise left him there. He didn’t want to hurt him more if it turned out he had a broken neck or something like that.

There was a clatter, and Danny jumped, ready to fight again, but it was just Cujo in puppy form, carrying both stupid mind control staffs. Staves? He pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed his eyes. Why were there two of these things?

“Good boy,” said Danny, taking the… scepters. There. That was one with an unambiguous plural. “I’ll have to play a real game of fetch with you sometime soon, okay?”

Cujo wagged his tail and Danny petted him.

“Where’s everyone else, though?” It was possible they’d gotten blasted over the edge, which Danny didn’t really want to think about, but there was also a lot of trash on the roof – remnants of Stark’s landing pad and armor system, the portal and shield equipment, random chitauri junk, things from the penthouse – so they could just be hidden.

Cujo yipped and bounced over to where the warped panels of Stark’s landing platform jutted up from the roof and, yep, there was some red hair. Black Widow was still alive. Valerie wasn’t far off. Still in her suit, she blended into Stark’s décor. He couldn’t tell how hurt she was – he didn’t want to take off her suit or even her helmet for the same reason he didn’t want to move Dr. Selvig or Black Widow and couldn’t phase through it.

Which left Tucker and Tony Stark.

And Loki.

“Danny.”

Well, think of the devil… “Loki,” said Danny, suddenly hyperaware of the scepters he was carrying.

Loki, leaning against the side of the portal device casing, looked rather worse for wear. His clothing was singed, and strange blue splotches marred his skin along with massive bags under his eyes.

“Were you using an illusion to make yourself look better before?” he asked.

Loki waved a lazy hand. “Others do as much with paints and powders. Why should I not use my natural gifts to do the same? Stark and the boy are over there, by the by.”

He pointed toward the penthouse with his chin, and Danny hurried over. They were resting just inside where the big, full-length windows should have been. It looked like Stark had thrown himself over Tucker to shield him… Or maybe that was just the blast. Either way, he had a lot of painful-looking burns on his back, and the remaining parts of his armor looked scorched. Maybe he’d been hit by whatever had singed Loki?

After a few minutes of dithering, he did move Stark, because he was lying right on top of Tucker, who seemed to be having some trouble breathing. He also pulled Tucker’s Fenton Phone out of his ear, but it was broken. Whether that was because of something he did while he was Duulaman, or if escaping radiation – the electromagnetic pulse – from the nuke wiped it out, Danny couldn’t tell, but the inside was all burnt.

But everyone was alive. At least, everyone who was up here was alive. Alive-ish, in his personal case. He walked back out, and, oh, the green motes in the sky—All of those shields must have put enough ectoplasm into the air that it was condensing out as blob ghosts. All the death today (enough that Danny could feel it on his skin) probably was helping with that, too. New York was going to have a complicated ghost problem in the near future.

He should probably feel guilty about that, but he’d tried to keep this fight out of New York, tried to put it somewhere unpopulated, but…

“So,” he said, sitting down next to Loki. The Tesseract cube sat unprotected on the ground only a meter or so from his feet. It still reminded him of a blue raspberry ice pop, and he still had that weird impulse to lick it, but yeah. No. He wasn’t touching that at all. “Looks like you and Barton were wrong about them not shooting a nuclear missile at a big city.” He’d been wrong, too, but again, he’d been trying to put the portal somewhere else.

“I am not responsible for the foolish decisions of someone else’s government, only my own.”

“And how responsible for your own decisions have you been, lately?” asked Danny.

Loki didn’t answer, instead choosing to look up at the sky. Danny followed his gaze. There were some ghosts there that weren’t blobs. He thought he recognized Pandora coming closer, although she was a long way off.

Danny sighed. “How’d you get up here so fast, anyway?”

“Well. We did our very best to forget it, but this building does have more than one set of elevators.”

That was—Well, it was true, wasn’t it? There was more than one elevator and—Danny tried to swallow his laughter. It didn’t work. Honestly, it wasn’t even that funny, but he couldn’t stop laughing.

“A nuclear bomb was about to drop on us,” he gasped, “and you took the elevator?”

“Would you have preferred that I took the stairs?”

Danny laughed harder.

#danny phantom #dp/mcu #op!danny/marvel #dp/marvel #life's great lie

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sydsaint · 1 month

Text

I'll always have your back my pookie <3

Summary: The reader is a member of The Judgment Day and goes out with JD to have his back during his gauntlet match on Raw.

A black SUV rolls into the loading bay for Raw. It comes to a stop and the passenger side door swings open. JD steps out of the back and offers his hand to you. You gladly take it and hop out of the SUV as well.

"Thank you, Jordan." You smile at him.

"Course, doll." Jordan nods.

Damian and Finn both climb out of the front of the SUV and everyone heads down to the locker room for the night. Damian has a match scheduled against R-Truth tonight, and Jordan has the gauntlet match. But besides that, The Judgment Day is out of action for the week. Rhea is busy dealing with Liv and Becky fighting over her, and Dominick is off somewhere enjoying his honeymoon.

"Have they told you when you're supposed to be out for the gauntlet match, Jordan?" You ask JD once everyone is settled in the locker room.

"First, of course." Jordan groans. "So it looks like I'm going to have the run the whole thing." He frowns and plops down into a seat.

You sink down into the seat next to him and set your head gently on his shoulder. "You'll do great, Jordan." You assure him. "You've got me looking after you, right?" You remind him.

Jordan chuckles and nods, intertwining his hand with yours. "Can't argue with that logic." He grins at you. "I can't lose now I guess." He jokes.

"That's the spirit, sweetie." You turn your head and kiss his cheek.

Jordan wanders off to get ready for his gauntlet match so you head off to find what Rhea's up to. The two of you mess around with Liv and Becky during their match before you both head back to the locker room.

Damian's match with Truth is scheduled next so you accompany him down to the ring for support. DIY shows up to support Truth so Finn and JD come out from the locker room to help out.

"Look's like you could use some help pretty lady." Jordan comes to your aid when Ciampa attempts to run you off.

"My knight in shining armor." You giggle and step to the side to let Jordan handle business for you.

Jordan chases Ciampa off and gets a few shots in before returning back to your side. You hang off his side with a laugh and kiss his cheek. "Nice work babe." You praise Jordan. "You all hyped up and ready for your gauntlet match?" You ask him. "I heard that you've got Sami Zayn first."

"That loser?" Jordan laughs. "Easy money." He insists with an air of confidence about him.

"I love it when you get all confident." You giggle and head up the ramp with him.

Everyone files back into the locker room and hangs out until the gauntlet match. When time comes for the match you and Jordan head out while everyone else sticks in the locker room.

Jordan does his entrance and you trail behind him so he's got the spotlight. Sami is already in the ring so you stop at the stairs and offer Jordan one last vote of confidence.

"Kick his ass, baby." You plant a chaste kiss on Jordan's lips. "I'll be over at the commentary table bothering Pat." You wink at him before walking off.

You head over to the commentary table and Pat is quick to pull a chair out for you. You take a seat in the chair provided and listen to Pat and Michael trade quips for a while. Jordan beats on Sami for a while before pinning him. The bell rings and another opponent comes barreling down the ramp. Bronson Reed.

"Oh god, already?" You frown as Reed comes gunning down the ramp like a man on a mission.

"Something to add, YN?" Pat shifts in his chair and turns toward you. "Not a fan of Bronson Reed?" He asks you.

You scoff and roll your eyes. "No, I'm not." You reply plainly. "I find him a bit overrated to be honest with you Pat." You add.

It takes some effort on Jordan's part, but he eventually manages to roll Bronson up and pin him for the three-count he needs to win. The bell rings again and Jordan's third opponent for the night heads down to the ring, Ricochet.

"JD is looking impressive tonight," Pat comments on Jordan's performance thus far. "But does he have what it takes to keep up with Ricochet's high-flying skills?" He turns to you for an answer.

"Ricochets been out of action for months." You scoff. "He's washed up. Jordan's been in action every week for months. This'll be an easy win for him." You insist.

Pat nods, taking note of your confidence in your man. "I suppose we'll see." He turns his attention back to the ring.

Ricochet and Jordan go at it in the ring for a while. But Jordan's momentum starts to slow down significantly. Ricochet's freshness coupled with the fact that Jordan's already faced two other opponents end up getting the better of Jordan.

"Crap. Come on, Jordan!" You slip away from the Commentary table to cheer JD on. "You've got this babe!" You cheer for him.

Jordan puts up the fight of a lifetime. He gives it his all but Ricochet's energy is too much for him. You try and help Jordan by distracting the referee, but it doesn't seem to help. Ricochet hits JD with a picture-perfect frog splash and pins him for three.

"Shit." You curse the air and pull Jordan out of the ring by his leg. Jordan rolls to the floor and you help him to his feet. "Sorry baby." You frown. "You tried your best."

"Rheas gonna be pissed." Jordan groans in pain.

You roll your eyes and rub his back with your free hand as you help him up the ramp. "You looked great out there. It's not your fault that they made you come out first." You try and cheer him up. "And if Rhea has anything to say about it, she can answer to me." You kiss his cheek.

"Thanks, love." Jordan cracks a small smile at you.

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