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#HE'S A GOOD DUDE
onbearfeet · 2 months
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Oh, man. Ted's narrative voice is so gentle. I love him. Why don't people write more Ted POV?
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cloudyspider · 11 months
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Bang might be a goof but he did serve directly under Tenjou during the Ikaruga Civil War and almost certainly before that which would imply he's a high ranking individual in that role. That and he does seem to be the head honcho of the Ikaruga refugees in Kagatsuchi and takes part in making structure and stability good in their new home means for all his eccentricities he's a really good leader
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kravkalackin · 1 year
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“That Seems To Be A Poor fucking Decision!”
Safe Passage shouted from outside of the other Voice’s ship. He would have stomped right onto the deck and started banging on doors until he got their attention, but Poor Decision was fucking crazy. Everyone knew Poor Decision was fucking crazy, but it was only now starting to become apparently just how true that was.
Also, Calculated Risk had said something about some sort of giant undead killing machine, so it seemed like a good idea to stand at the side and shout and throw shit until he got their attention. He wasn’t going to stop until he did, because he needed some goddamn answers that weren’t coming from a high as all hell Calculated Risk.
“I swear to whatever forces hold this ram-shackled universe together I know you can hear me! Poor Decision!” he shouted again, and this time he could start to hear someone coming over to the side of the ship. There was definitely some relief when he could see that it was actually Poor Decision poking their head over the side of the ship. The Hulstrum had seemed fine, and the Felimiem hadn’t said much, but he did not want to have to deal with the Kii'tre again if he could help it, especially not alone.
“Is that really necessary? People are trying to sleep,” Poor Decision said, the frown on Safe Passage’s face somehow managing to get even deeper.
“It’s the middle of the day,” he said bluntly. He would have gotten here earlier, but Calculated Risk had convinced him that it would be best to blow off some steam before diving headfirst into even more crazy, and it had been a while since he’d gotten that messed up. The come down was worth it, but it took a little while before he could pull his brain back into his body and make his way over here.
“I don’t see how that’s relevant,” Poor Decision said, and Passage let out an irritated breath between clenched teeth. PD must’ve been able to see his frustration, not that he was trying to hide it at all, because they added on before he could start shouting again. “So, I’m guessing you talked to Risk?” they asked, all too big, fake smiles.
“That’s one word for it,” Passage muttered, and honestly his head still hurt whenever he thought about it. And also from the hangover.
“Great… have fun with that,” PD said, starting to quickly duck away from the edge of the ship.
“Nope! Poor Decision I will stand here shouting until Shel comes if you don't let me on your ship and explain what the fuck is going on,” Passage snapped, hearing a long groan from the other Voice in response.
“Uuuugh, fine. Sleep was not a part of the plan anyway,” Poor Decision grumbled, waving him on board. He was pretty sure they were doing something in their helmet as he made his way up, probably signaling off the millions of murder traps they had. It seemed like they’d only gotten more unhinged since the last time he saw them.
“Look, Risk wouldn’t tell me everything, so as much as I’d love to go the normal minimum twelve months before talking, this-” he started, only to be interrupted by the other Voice.
“Kraken! Give Safe Passage a hug!” they shouted, pointing straight at him. Immediately a large shape loomed forth on the deck, all dark, lumbering flesh and metal and teeth that came running towards him at speed.
“The fuck!”
He was back in his helm on his ship before at least three hundred pounds of death and decay and eyes smashed into him.
A few seconds of silence passed before Safe Passage realized what just happened.
“Shit.”
“Don’t. Say. Anything,” Safe Passage growled as he stomped back up the ramp about eight minutes later, having jogged over from the other side of the docs.
“Hug!” Poor Decision shouted, once again pointing that beast dead at him. This time, he frantically attempted to fly instead of teleporting on instinct. He wasn't able to get up high enough before this fucking monster crashed into him, knocking him to the deck before pinning him under a single boney claw.
“Why are you like this?” Safe Passage asked once he was sure that the weird fucker wasn’t about to eat him.
“It was this or he eats your face,” they said flippantly, and thankfully the undead abomination took a step back off of him. The Voice immediately scrambled to his feet, making a face as PD patted the thing’s head. “Good Kraken.”
“Yeah, yeah, he’s a gentleman and a scholar. Can you please either tell me what the fuck Risk was talking about or, much more preferably, explain this was all some incredibly disturbing prank and let me go throw a meteor in Calculated Risk’s face,” he snapped. For a moment, the best way Passage would have described PD’s face was ‘tempted.’ They ended up grimacing and sighing soon enough though.
“God, that would be so much easier,” they complained, glancing back towards the stairs leading below deck. “But no, turns out Voices are fucking weird.”
“We all know Voices are fucking weird! That’s all anyone knows about Voices” Safe Passage snapped back.
"Okay but now there's more and it's all just as weird" PD insisted, Safe Passage letting out a suffering groan. "Ugh, listen okay fine, Risk said they were going to tell you, against my advice by the way, and now I'm gonna have to make you take the same promise as Risk and not ever tell anyone where you heard this, alright? I'm not letting her steal another thing off my ship."
"I don't know what you're talking about and I don't have any fucks to care. I won't tell anyone before Risk does," he said, a frown finally hiding Poor Decision's sharp teeth.
"You won't tell anyone," they repeated, and Safe Passage nodded.
"Before Risk does," he added. Poor Decision seemed to stare at him from behind the dark glass of their helmet before shrugging.
"Fair enough,” they said, pausing for a moment before continuing, “barring the fact that he already told you, right?”
“Of course,” he agreed, because honestly, he didn’t want to talk to anyone about this anyway. He was still mostly hoping that it was some terrible joke, even as PD started leading him down into their ship. For what little credit they deserved, it did actually seem like everyone was asleep as he moved through to the hold.
“Let me handle it to start, introductions and all that,” PD said before opening the door. The smell that hit was not what Safe Passage was expecting from a ship hold. It smelled almost identical to a petting zoo.
“Fuck Decision did he take your nose along with your eyes? Clean your fucking ship,” he snapped, and it wasn’t like he hadn’t noticed the strange covering of Zicotal that seemed to be just about everywhere.
“It’s the krabbits! They’re important,” Poor Decision insisted, and he could see the pen of animals that actually took up a good portion of the hold. He started to open his mouth, but PD continued before he could get a word out. “Don’t worry about it. Anyway, hey Archive?” they called, stepping further into the room.
As Safe Passage followed them in, he could see something starting up. Or at least, that’s what he was pretty sure was what happened. A stone he hadn’t noticed immediately started glowing, and then a beam of light congealed into some sort of crazy Voice hologram.
“Here, the ‘trashy news-rag’ we got that info from,” Poor Decision said, gesturing towards the hologram as if he would have somehow missed it. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting it to do, but Safe Passage was pretty sure the answer wasn’t ‘make a perplexed and offended face at the term ‘trashy news-rag.’’
“PD what the actual fuck?”
"I didn't expect anyone else to come quite this soon," the hologram said, and surely it had to be some sort of program or something, right? PD went full Kiii'tre levels of crazy and started programming people. Istmun won the betting pool. Out forty gold, but that was fine. Everything was still fine.
“Yeah, but he kept yelling,” Poor Decision said, not sounding all that bothered one way or the other. Safe Passage was pretty sure the hologram was judging him.
“You still haven’t told me what the fuck I’m looking at here,” he insisted after a moment. He was probably pretty lucky that PD didn’t have eyes to roll. They were all lucky about that.
“You can ask her. She’s not actually that trashy,” PD said, and yeah, the hologram Voice was definitely frowning.
“Look, you didn’t give me a lot to go on!” he snapped, before sighing heavily and turning to face the hologram. “But fine, I’ll bite. Are you something real or did PD go insane and create you? I honestly can’t trust the answer because they could have programmed you to lie, but what else can I do at this point?” he asked. The glowing blue vision of a Voice looked almost uncertain of how to take that, before speaking again.
“I am Optimal Archive Storage Unit. No, That Seems To Be A Poor Decision did not create me, I can safely assume that I’ve existed for far longer than either of you. Proving my authenticity may be slightly more challenging, but also manageable,” the hologram said, and that explained why PD had called her Archive earlier.
“This Might Be A Safe Passage,” he said, because even if she wasn’t real it felt kinda rude not to introduce himself. Which yeah, not usually his top priority, but these kinda felt like extenuating circumstances.
“We found her on a rogue planet,” PD cut in, obviously excited to share that little fact, and Passage whipped his heads around to look at them.
“Bullshit,” he called instinctively, before groaning as a memory came back to him. “Fuck! Risk did say you found a rogue planet.” PD nodded, all grins again.
“Dude, I swear for once I’m not actually fucking with you. Well, I’m fucking with you, but in this case that means telling the truth,” they said, and it was with a feeling of horror that Safe Passage was starting to actually believe them. PD honestly wasn’t that great of a liar, despite their everything.
“Shit, okay, so the shit with the Dyson sphere that Risk was ranting about, true or not?” he asked, already rubbing the sides of his head. He swore their goddamn helmet goggles somehow managed to glint with excitement and incredulousness at the mention.
“She has so. Much. information.” they insisted, and well, at least Safe Passage could figure that his initial instinct to immediately be terrified of Optimal Archive Storage Unit had been accurate.
“About Voices?” he asked, because honestly for some reason that was the hardest part to imagine.
“Yes. And other stuff, but the Voice shit is weird,” they said. There was a moment where Safe Passage couldn’t do anything but stare as he tried to process that. There were so many things, so many directions that it felt like choice paralysis had overtaken him.
“...what the fuck happened then?” he finally managed. Archive’s expression went from a quiet and inscrutable assessment of him to a deep frown. He wouldn’t say she looked sad so much as she looked discontented.
"Unfortunately, before Poor Decision and the crew of this ship happened upon my planet out of orbit, I had not encountered anyone for approximately 6.7 billion years, so that is one thing I do not yet know," Archive said, and Passage felt a little bit like his eyes were going to go the way of PD if he opened them any wider.
"Was that with a fucking B?" He asked, because surely that wasn't accurate. Well, he could believe it if it was actually a rogue planet, but the rest of it. Nope. Did not compute.
"We live longer as rocks, apparently," PD helpfully chimed in, and Passage glanced down at the glowing blue gem the form of light was projecting from. It just looked like some sort of weird extra chunky crystal drive or something.
"You are near about subscribing your soul to eternity if you do, so a rather committed stance to take, and as such not a very common lifestyle choice," Archive said.
"Okay that'll be in my brain forever. Whatever, I'll contemplate eternity later since apparently I'll have some time. I just- the hell are we supposed to do with this?" he managed after a moment, and it still felt like his brain couldn't make up its mind, looking at an ever expanding menu.
"With what, exactly?" Archive asked, a suspicious edge to her voice clearly indicating that she believed he was talking about her. Passage started shaking his head at that, explaining immediately.
"With the knowledge that apparently Voices used to be some sort of mighty empire or shit according to Risk, and now we're just like, maybe fifty assholes in this entire arm of the galaxy?" he said, and god, somehow it sounded even weirder saying it out loud. Hell, even saying ‘we’ when talking about Voices as some sort of collective felt almost wrong. Disjointed.
“Man, how the hell am I supposed to know?” PD asked, and honestly Safe Passage couldn’t even blame them. Still, he’d been more so talking to the apparently ancient person… tech… thing in front of him that had decided to dump all of this on them in the first place. Thankfully Archive seemed sharp enough to pick up on that.
“I for one would quite like to find out the cause of our decline,” she said, which again, seemed pretty damn reasonable to him.
“Yeah, we’re working on that, I think? Yeah no for sure, we’re getting to that,” PD said, not sounding as sure of themself as everyone else would probably like for them to be.
“When are you heading out?” Safe Passage asked, the question seeming to surprise Poor Decision a bit. It was kind of a jump in topic, he would grant them that.
“Dunno, a couple of days more, at least,” they said, and Safe Passage mentally filed that away for now.
“And Shel’s got one of your tokens, right?”
“Riiight?” PD asked more than answered, but he didn’t really need to check with them, since it was clear that they had a way of contacting Shel when they needed to.
“Alright. Alright. I’m going to go and process some things. I’m going to write a list. Shel’s got one of my tokens too, I check in pretty regularly when I’m not on base. If you ever need anything just have her pass on a message, alright?” Safe Passage said, and it was pretty clear that this was not the reaction Poor Decision expected. Which, yeah, it was weird, but everything about this was fucking weird.
“Unlikely, but sure,” they said, which was about what Passage expected. He just nodded, turning back towards Archive.
“I’m going to be back with a fucking list,” he insisted, because if he just started asking questions right now it would never end. The hologram seemed a little bit perplexed, but nodded all the same.
“I look forward to it,” she said, and it was hard to tell if she was being sarcastic or not. It didn’t really matter one way or the other if she wanted him to or not; he was coming back as soon as he had a brain about him. That might be like, another day or so at least, but that didn’t matter.
“Later Decision,” he said, not bothering with any other goodbye as he intentionally teleported back to his ship this time. It was easier than walking and meant that PD wouldn’t have the chance to sick that hellbeast on him again.
Heading to the helm, Safe Passage quickly pulled up a private server and started writing down his list of questions.
The first 57 of which were just ‘what the fuck?’ written over and over again in any and every language he knew, but he’d get to the rest of them eventually.
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So I just found out the founder of Tumblr, David Carp, is a really cool dude. After he left Tumblr he just quietly does activism
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ariquar · 2 years
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Actually i have a lot of feelings about Alvie participating in the Markarth storyline because he was good friends with Verandis during the events of Rivenspire. They'd never met before that particular story but Alvie immediately took a liking to Verandis and was definitely upset when he was lost
And having known Fenn as a kid, he's just happy to see him doing good and relatively safe. Last he knew was Laurent was upset because Fenn had gone missing and then like, a month later Alvie was out of High Rock being a pirate
I don't know if I've ever gotten into how Alvie winds up helping with the Rivenspire questline, but it's his first excursion out of Glenumbra after basically being on a really tight leash from Emeric — Alvie had broken a ton of laws, stolen a ship, gotten really deep into piracy. He looks at his friendship with Verandis as a turning point for his life bc it was the first time he'd been trusted with something so important after getting caught and punished for all the numerous crimes he'd committed
He gets sent out to help Gwendis with things because he's one of the few non-Ravenwatch she'll trust with information about Verandis, and the prologue is. a rollercoaster for him, to say the least
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Michael has a hard time retelling FNAF sister location
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ciralincixx · 19 days
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i am right
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bluegiragi · 5 months
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cockatrice (part 2)
early access + nsfw on patreon
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werewolf lore drop ahead!!
although werewolves are classified as a shifter-type monster (same as Horangi or the cockatrice) they're actually unique in a hidden way. Horangi is a hybrid whose lineology originates from the first pureblood haetaes, which had zero human in them. In comparison, werewolves originated AS a human-wolf monster, which results in an interesting relationship between the human and shifted 'full-wolf' form.
While Horangi is the same in his human and haetae form, Soap juggles two souls in one body - one belonging to human side, and the other to his wolf. They are both still implicitly him - the souls run parallel with one another throughout his life - but being a werewolf is very much like maintaining a life-long partnership. Soap and his wolf are a great example of a success story, but some werewolves have difficult relationships with their wolf, resulting in only transforming during full moons when they have to.
In some ways, Soap is perfect in the military's eyes as he has a strong connection with his wolf, and happens to come from a long line of larger-than-average specimens (even though he doesn't care too much about his genealogy, preferring to call himself a mongrel breed). In other ways, he's also a nightmare, because his wolf exemplifies the worst in his rebellious streak, featuring recklessness, fickleness towards authority and an extremely low tolerance for boredom.
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radiance1 · 3 months
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The Justice League have a problem, one that needs some level of knowledge and expertise of a being from the Infinite Realms to give them a better chance of actually solving this problem.
However.
Every ghost they have summoned, without fail, took one look at Constantine. Squinted (yes, squinted). Then decided to go back to where they came without a word.
This. Would have been useful, nice even. If it was a situation where they needed the summoned being of a cult to head back to where they came without a fight.
But alas, that is not what is happening.
The Justice League, obviously, ask him why the ghosts keep fleeing back to their Realm at the sight of him, but Constantine can't answer because he genuinely has no idea why they keep leaving when getting a proper look at him.
So they keep trying and they do find some success in it. They summoned a boy, most likely older than he physically looks yet it still puts some of them off because of, well.
You know.
A boy with white hair and toxic green eyes. The boy stops short, as if not expecting to be randomly transported to somewhere else, takes a look around the room, then the Justice League. His eyes settle on one person.
Constantine, in particular.
He squints (Why do all of them squint? Nobody knows) and then a sudden looking of realization passes on his face. Different from the looks of vague fear and genuinely want to not involve themselves any further, his face held slight disgust and a heavy amount of disappointment.
Thankfully, he didn't leave immediately after that.
Constantine asks what's with the look on the ghost boy's face, the ghost boy in question squints even further. Stares at Constantine for a moment or two, buries his face in his hands and brings his knees to his hand and groans out.
"He could've done so much better."
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machinedramon · 1 month
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the MOST knife cat energy coming off of this laios face this dude KNOWS his sister is gonna think he's SO COOL (and he's RIGHT)
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actually-nagito · 4 months
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i don’t care. I don’t care. you are all SLEEPING on David tennant’s Shakespeare career. i don’t think you understand how passionate I am about this. not the “oh he quoted hamlet once haha” no I’m talking about THE YEARS AND YEARS HE SPENT DOING THEATRE, PERFORMING SHAKESPEARE, AND BEING ONE OF THE BEST THEATRICAL ACTORS EVER I don’t care I don’t care I don’t care DO YOU REALIZE HOW IMPORTANT SHAKESPEARE HAS BEEN FOR THE ARTS AND FOR THEATRE DO YOU REALIZE HOW ID DIE JUST TO WATCH HIM PERFORM IN AS YOU LIKE IT OR THE SCOTTISH PLAY ?? OR ANY SHAKESPEARE PIECE PERIOD HE COULD EVEN STAND ON STAGE AND READ HIS SONNETS AND ID BE HAPPY. don’t sleep on his Shakespeare career please I am begging you I have such a love for theatre
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lucdoodle · 8 months
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Oh man the Buggy wink scene!! I had to draw it!
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thcwidow · 1 year
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so i was watching into the badlands at work today because i had nothing better to do and just... gaius being like “aw yeah we’re gonna parents, heck yes!” and moon being like “yo you should just get rid of it because it’s just gonna die someday anyway” and all i could think was wow poor girl, these dudes just trying to tell her what to do  😂
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plistommy · 17 days
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Steve’s known to be very good at charming girls.
He’s used to making them blush and giggle at his sweet words. Used to them giving him the bedroom eyes as their delicate hands slowly moved up his arm, squeezing the muscle there while begging for him to take them to his room and fuck them.
He never left them unsatisfied.
So, it wasn’t any different when he used the same technique on Eddie.
They had been sitting on his couch, a movie playing in the background when Steve had finally made the first move after months of them tiptoeing around each other and their feelings.
He’d made the older boy laugh at his dumb jokes before he had scooted closer, slowly moving his arm to rest on the back of the couch, very close to the Eddie’s shoulder and then… he had leaned in.
And Eddie had responded so well.
He kissed Steve back with the same type of desperation, arms finding their way around Steve’s waist and Steve felt like he was buzzing with excitement as he deepened the kiss, softly caressing the back of Eddie’s neck.
”Let’s go upstairs,” He had said, voice deep and low and it had made Eddie moan.
When they got to his room, Steve was all but ready to push Eddie to his bed and make him stay there looking all pretty while Steve did all the work.
But instead, he felt Eddie pushing him towards the bed and soon he was the one laying there, big brown eyes looking up as Eddie came to lay between his spread legs with a wide grin. He grinded down on him, making their clothed dicks brush against each other and Steve let out a soft moan out of surprise.
It was a total switch up from the nervous Eddie from earlier and it had made Steve feel many, many things as older boy started to kiss his neck.
Steve had to bite back a moan when he had licked his pulse, but Eddie wasn’t having any of that, apparently.
”C’mon, let me hear the real you, sweetheart.”
Steve hadn’t known what he had meant by that. Wasn’t this the real him?
When he has had sex before, he’d always focus on his partner and their pleasure over his as he’d try to make them as loud as possible when they cum. That’s what he does and what he loves.
But once Eddie was cock deep inside Steve’s tight heat, holding onto him and praising him of being such a good boy and the most gorgeous creature he’s ever laid his eyes on, Steve couldn’t help the way he whined.
Couldn’t help how he moaned with every thrust his lover was giving him. How he begged for more as he held onto Eddie’s shoulders and cried when Eddie answered to his pleas and fucked him harder.
How he came untouched for the very first time.
After that, when they were laying in his bed, both sweaty and panting from the sex, Steve realized he’d been so so wrong about himself and the sex he loved.
It made him a little irritated how much he had held back his own pleasure.
So, it hadn’t taken long until he was already up for a second round, riding Eddie with earnestness as he took control of the pace this time, listening to his own body and the things it liked. The things it needed.
Which was the way Eddie’s dick felt inside him. How full it made him feel and how it always hit that spot inside him that made his whole body tingle.
Yeah.
Steve was never coming back from this.
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noideawhatidobutfit · 18 days
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the zoro-being-good-at-math-while-luffy-barely-knows-what-two-plus-two-equals-to trope is actually canon yall
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steddielations · 10 months
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once again thinking about how Eddie’s realization that Steve’s actually a good dude probably has to do with how Steve kept making sure he was in the loop (girl with superpowers) and placating his worries without making it seem silly (Dustin’s not cursed, just mental) and never once making Eddie feel dumb for trying to keep up and going blank under stress (not saying ‘you should already know’ when explaining the hive mind) I know we love how Eddie doesn’t make Steve feel dumb about the Ozzy reference, but Steve was also doing that for Eddie too for most of the season
Just thinking, with Eddie having failed grades and clearly struggled in school and not being seen as “traditionally” smart, he’s definitely been treated like he’s stupid before. Both him and Steve know what it’s like to feel dumb and they made such a point not to treat each other that way and it’s so!!!
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