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javierpena-inatacvest · 1 month

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Haircut

Summary: Javi thinks that he's way past due for a haircut. You like his hair long for reasons other than his good looks.

Word Count: 2.1K (I sprinted to write this after I saw this picture)

Pairing: Husband!Javi x Wife!Reader (no use of y/n, reader's nickname is Osita)

Warnings: SMUT (18+) Oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, praise kink, (lovingly?) possessive Javi, Javi's back at again with his filthy mouth, hair pulling, Javi is hungry and the man is gonna EAT, allsions to more smut, Jonas Brother's references ( bc Javi is our girl dad king and his daughters love them LMAO)

A/N: Y'ALL REALLY THOUGHT THIS PICTURE OF PEDRO WAS SURFACE RIGHT HERE ON TUMBLR DOT COM AND I WASN'T GONNA DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT?!? WRONG. I legit have 3 WIPS I started in the past 24 hours based on this picture alone. Pedro really did this one for the Javier Peña girlies (gn) and I will forever be in debt to him for that. You cannot tell me that this is Dad!Javi when his kids are a little bit older bc HOLY SHIT?! This really may the nail in the coffin for @notjustjavierpena and I bc really fear this is the dilfiest Husband Javi has ever looked 😩😵‍💫 anyways, never getting over this!!!!

Series Masterlist Never Too Late Masterlist

“God, I can’t even remember the last time my hair has been this long. Lucy keeps saying I look like a Jonas Brother. Am I supposed to know who they are? Is that supposed to be a good thing?” Javi sighed, playing with his dark brown curls in the bathroom mirror as you snuck up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist, peeking out to watch your husband’s longer than usual locks twist between his fingers.

“They’re the goofy looking boy band on Disney Channel that the girls are obsessed with. Like the Backstreet Boys, except cooler, apparently.” You laughed, planting a soft kiss into the fabric of Javi��s worn t-shirt covering his broad back before stepping next to him, leaning your hip against the bathroom counter to admire your husband as he fiddled with his hair.

“Jesus Christ, those guys? God, I really do need a haircut before I start looking like the poster what’s-his-face hanging on Lucy and Elliot’s walls.” Javi chuckled, running his hand through his hair once more before mirroring you, his hip resting against the counter, leaning his weight on his palm splayed flat along the granite surface.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think he’s supposed to be the best looking one.” You teased, giving Javi a playful shrug. “Besides, I like your hair long.”

“Seriously?” Javi asked, raising an eyebrow at you, crossing his arms over his chest in protest. “It looks like a mop right now.”

“A very sexy mop.” You smirked, nudging Javi before stepping closer into him, reaching up to run your hand through his curls, slowly twisting the ends with your fingers. “It reminds me of that trip we took to Jamaica a few years ago. Your hair was almost this long, remember? You looked so hot in those stupid floral button downs you insisted on buying, and hanging out shirtless by the pool all day while you played with the girls.”

“Fuck, I forgot about that. I’m surprised we didn’t end up with a fourth kid after that trip.” Javi chuckled, slowly shifting the palm that had been holding him up towards your waist, letting his fingers gently toy with the waistband of your pajamas. “You really like my long hair that much?”

“Mhmmmm.” You cooed, continuing to close the gap between your bodies, your free hand resting on Javi’s chest as the other continued to stroke his curls. You could feel a low groan rumbling in Javi’s throat as your fingers weaved back and forth through his hair, the other creeping up to cradle his jaw, thumb tracing back and forth across the stubble on his cheek.

“Yeah? What else do you like about it?” Javi groaned, his hand slipping under the elastic waistband of your pants to grab a fistfull of your ass, kneading the soft flesh in his hand.

“I like…” You paused, bringing your lips to Javi’s, pressing a tender kiss on his lips, “I like that it gives me something extra to hold on to.”

“Hold on to?” Javi asked, cocking his head in slight confusion.

“Hold on to when you go down on me. I love being able to run my hands through your hair when you eat me out, especially when it’s long like this.” You smirked, watching Javi’s eyes go wide in delight, a devilish grin spreading across his face as he bit down on his lip.

Before you could say anything else, Javi’s hands were gripping around your waist and hosting you up to sit on the counter, caging his body against yours, hands planted around the outside of your hips while his lips crashed into yours, your mouths becoming a tangled mess of tongue and teeth.

“Fuck…” Javi whispered to himself, pulling away from your lips to pepper kisses down your jaw and neck, running his hands over your thighs. “I love it when you play with my hair, Hermosa. Love feeling you pull on it when you’re close. Makes me lose my fucking mind every time. Fuck, I’d stay burried between your legs forever if I fucking could.”

Javi began to let his kisses trail down your body, past your chest and across your stomach before he was dropping to his knees in front of you, draping your legs across the width of his shoulders. Pulling at your waistband, you lifted your hips off the counter so your pajamas and underwear could fall to the floor, revealing the wetness that had been pooling between your thighs since you had walked into the bathroom a few minutes ago.

“Jesus Christ…” Javi whispered, further parting your legs to see the arousal already dripping through your folds, staring up at you with a boyish grin on his face, “So fucking wet for me, Hermosa. Didn’t realize you liked my hair that much.”

“Oh shut up you goof, you know I- o-oh fuck-” You whimpered, Javi cutting off the rest of your sentence as the flat of his tongue dragged across your cunt, the suddent sensation making you gasp in delight, already playing in to Javi’s plan as your hand shot down to his head, digging your fingers into his messy hair.

“Better hold on tight, querida. There’s a lot more where that came from.” Javi smirked, pulling away just enough to see the smug smile between his cheeks, peppering a few wet kisses on the inside of your thighs before his head was back between your legs, placing a soft kiss on your clit, already aching and throbbing for more of what you had just been promised.

“Do your worst, Peña.”

That one sent a low growl of approval humming through his chest, laughing to himself as his hands gripped tighter around your thighs, fingertips digging into the soft flesh of your skin before another slow, broad stroke of his tongue was traveling through your folds.

While you were truly convinced there wasn’t another man who loved going down on their wife more than your husband did, you could always tell when Javi wanted nothing more than to stay buried between your thighs, making you cum over and over until you were begging him to stop, lapping up every last drop of you until there was nothing left to give, and right now, you already knew Javi meant what he said when you were about to have to hold on for dear life.

The hand buried in the dark waves of Javi’s hair only began to tug tighter as his tongue began to work meticulously across your cunt, pressing just enough pressure against your sensitive bundle of nerves to already have you a squirming, whimpering mess, but painstakingly slow enough to have you begging for more.

“Javi… Oh, shit. Fuck, more baby, please. P-please.” You moaned, looking down at Javi with what you were already sure was a wrecked expression painted across your face.

You could practically feel Javi’s smug smirk pressed against your cunt as he eased one, then two fingers into your aching core, curling them to bump against the spongy spot inside you that already had you fisting at the edge of the bathroom counter to try and keep your composure, and better yet, your voice down.

“Oh my god, f-fuck. You feel so good, baby.” You moaned, feeling the strong arch of Javi’s nose bumping against your clit, placing a soft kiss there before the flat of his tongue licked another long, broad stroke across your cunt, putting just the right amount of pressure on your sensitive bundle of nerves as his fingers worked in tandem to send the sweet tingling sensation to start building in your spine.

“Fuck, I love this perfect pussy so much. I still can’t believe she’s all fucking mine. My perfect fucking wife. Tell me, Hermosa, whose pussy is this?” Javi asked, pulling away for you to see your slick covering his mustache and the lustful look pooling in the dark brown of his eyes, the quiet possessiveness of his tone making your cunt clench even tighter around his fingers as they continued to pulse in and out of you.

“It’s y-yours, Javi, It’s all- fuck- It’s all yours.” You whined, your breath hitching in your throat as you spoke.

“And who’s the only one who makes you feel like this, huh?” Javi tutted, sliding a third finger into your heat, the sweet stretch and sting making you let out a ragged whimper as you threw your head back in pleasure.

“Y-you- Jesus- Y-you are, Javi.”

“And who’s gonna be a good girl and soak my face when she cums for me?”

“M-me.”

“That’s fucking right, you are.” Javi growled before diving back between your legs, working his tongue relentlessly against your clit, circling and flicking in fast and firm motions as his fingers curled deeper into your core, eating you up like a man starved, desperate to make you fall apart.

You could already feel the coil in your stomach beginning to tighten from the way Javi was working so relentlessly to make you come undone, drinking every ounce of you up as his lips latched around your sensitive bundle of nerves, making your back arch and mind go blank while that all too familiar tingle began to creep through your core, cunt beginning to clench tighter and tighter around him.

At this point, your fingers were tugging so tightly around the soft, brown curls of his locks to try and hold yourself together, that you were convinced that you were close to pulling his hair out of his skull, but with the way you were on the brink of collapse from the way Javi’s mouth was working against your cunt, you almost didn’t have a choice.

“Fuck, Javi. Oh shit- Baby, I’m so close. Don’t stop.”

“I won’t stop, mi amor. Won’t stop until this pretty pussy fucking soaks me.” Javi mewled, peeking his head out from under you just enough so that his sweet, brown eyes were locked with yours, the hot words of his breath dancing against your pussy as his fingers continued to rock in and out of you. “I’ve got you, Osita. Promento. Damelo, bebita. (I promise. Give it to me, baby).”

Before you could respond, your jaw dropped open and face scrunched in pleasure as Javi dove back in, burying his face in your cunt as each press of his tongue became more firm and precise than the last, feeling your pussy begin to flutter as you clutched tighter around the edge of the counter, trying to keep from screaming out in pleasure and raise any suspicion. But as your legs began to tremble and your heart race, teetering on the brink of collapse, it was taking every ounce of willpower you had left to make that happen.

“Fuck, Javi. Fuck, I- fuck- I’m gonna, I’m gonna-ahhhhhh.” You whimpered, feeling your orgasm crash through you, pleasure radiating in your veins as you fell apart, losing all inhibitions to keep yourself quiet as you threw your head back in all consuming bliss. With his fingers still buried in your cunt, gently working you through your high, Javi shot back up, his mouth engulfing yours in an electric kiss to try and capture your ragged moans that had been coating the walls of the bathroom, the tangy taste of you still lingering on his lips.

Your heartbeat finally began to slow, your chest heaving in long, heavy breaths as you slumped into Javi, your head resting on his shoulder as your hands stayed buried deep in his hair, grasping onto his now sweat-dampened ends to try and pull yourself back down to reality.

After a few moments of letting you come to, Javi gently pulled out his fingers, all three drenched and glistening with your slick, pulling them out and bringing them to his mouth, sucking them clean with a devilish smirk of satisfaction on his face.

“God, you taste so fucking sweet. You really weren’t kidding about the hair, huh Hermosa?” Javi chuckled, cupping your jaw to cradle your cheek with his broad palm, forcing your gaze up at him.

“I told you.” You giggled softly, still trying to catch your breath as you smiled at him, pulling him in for another long, tender kiss. “Hottest looking Jonas Brother I’ve ever seen.”

The two of you burst out into laughter, practically snorting at your comment, taking a second to compose yourselves as Javi crossed his arms over his chest, rolling his eyes at you.

“If that’s the fucking case, I’m getting out the clippers tonight.”

“Not until you take me to bed and do this all again, you aren’t.”

taglist:

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mysticmikalla · 5 months

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Stardew Valley Bachelors Cuddling Headcanons

thinkin' about cuddly bachelors to Cope

Harvey

Harvey is one of those people who only lay in bed when he is ready to go to sleep, so cuddling is usually a pre-sleep activity, an added treat at the end of his long day

I think he likes being both the little and big spoon, but prefers being held just a liiiitle bit more

He likes to lay with you after a shower, a shave and his teeth are brushed, because once he lays down with you.... only the shrill sound of his alarm going off in the morning will be enough to get him back up

Harvey is one of those people who hate a rushed routine and take punctuality very seriously

But because waking up in your arms just feels too darn good sometimes, he sets an alarm a little earlier than his usual one, just so he can be awake enough to enjoy the first minutes of the morning being held by you

Shane

I believe Shane likes to be horizontal more than he likes to be vertical on a good day, anyway

But after you? Oh boy

There is no feeling like coming home and being able to sink into the mattress, his body heavy with the weight of the day

And now on top of that he then gets to have the person he loves laying on his chest? Tracing his skin with your fingers absentmindedly? Massaging his scalp with the pads on your fingers?

It’s his favorite thing in the world, actually

He'll cling on to you especially tight after a rough day, only reluctantly letting you go if you absolutely must

Sam

Although Sam loves it when it’s just you and him and his bed in your own little world, this man cannot sit still for too long

If you’re just laying together and talking, he needs to be playing with your fingers, with your hair, playfully biting your arm, a tickle attack or two

He also likes to lay on you. Like, fully - body completely on top of yours as he scrolls on his phone or rambles about something while you run your hands through his blond hair

Maybe he has too much energy, or maybe it's the ADHD I headcanon him to have, or maybe he's just really excited to finally get some alone time with you

… Sam just wants to be all over you, all at once

Unless he’s super exhausted or it’s before going to sleep, cuddling with Sam is not usually a bonding relaxing experience, but rather bonding over a playful one

Sebastian

Because of how he is and how he prefers to show and receive affection, Sebastian has always been kind of touch-starved, tbh

Especially in the beginning of the relationship

I think it’s no secret that he isn’t a very touchy person in general, but...

Sebastian liked cuddling a lot more than he was willing to admit or ask for at first

But back when you two first started dating, you would waste days away in his bed, talking about nothing and everything for hours, sleeping together, playing together, getting high, having sex, repeat

Just… you and him and him and you in your own world, limbs comfortably tangled with each other

Especially during the winter when you didn’t have as much farm work, you two would only pull away from each other for bare necessities

After you’re married and he’s moved in, he likes that the bed is bigger and sometimes you two can lay together and do your own thing in your own space

But in the end he’ll always gravitate back towards you

Elliot

Cuddling with Elliot is peaceful

His voice takes on another melody when it’s just you and him in the comfort of his bed

The lights are dim but bright enough so that he can softly read you to sleep

He plays with your hair, his touches soft and gentle along the exposed skin of your arms

And he smells so good, and it's all around you as you lay in the comfort of his arms

Elliot likes it when you’re draped on him and he gets to wrap his arms around you and envelop you fully

Any position that allows him to be so close to you is his favorite

It’s…. safe. And Elliot likes safe

Alex

I firmly believe Alex prefers being the little spoon the majority of the time

Sometimes muscly jocks just want to be held, you know?

He likes to feel your body pressed against his from behind, and he’ll pull on your arms, tightening them around him, as if he’s letting you know how much he doesn’t want you to let go quite yet

He'll kiss the top of your hair, then bury his face on your neck and place kisses there too, sometimes innocent, sometimes not

Although not as bad as Sam, Alex doesn’t like to sit still for too long, either, so cuddling sessions are either before bed or a brief but welcome break during the day

#stardew valley #sdv #stardew valley headcanons #sdv headcanons #sdv harvey #sdv shane #sdv sam #sdv sebastian #sdv elliott #sdv alex #idk man im having cramps today and i just want to be held

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kausstar · 5 months

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ᯓ ✶ KISS ME HARDER ◞ elliot.

headcanons + ask tags female! reader. nsfw + sfw content. black reader in mind but anyone can read. swearing. speaking of drug usage (smoking). kissing. brief mention of dom-sub dynamic. praise kink.

⟢ elliot as a general boyfriend would be fun. he’s very funny, other worldly conservative, loving, blunt, sarcastic and sweet.

a pure gentleman without trying. holds doors for you, ties your shoes, holds your bags, etc…

does literally everything and anything for you. even if he complains and groans a little, he will do it with a grin.

a flirt, even when you too are in a relationship. just loves messing with you and laughing to himself.

enjoys you and your company. even if you’re sitting in silence, he just loves it.

compliments you a lot. no matter if it’s in the morning or late at night he’s telling you how pretty you look.

favorite place to kiss you is definitely your face. will be so aggravated with it too. kissing you on your eye lids and cheeks.

extremely clingy when high. lays down directly on you just to torment you.

loves being held close to your chest and getting his hair played with. adores falling asleep with you like that.

isn’t really the jealous type and i mean that in he will be, just sometimes. it’s rare if he does because he’s barely paying attention to anything but you if you’re there.

thinks you’re the best thing that has happen to him in a long time and he adores you.

will bring you little trinkets that are absolutely useless but will smile so big about them it will make you want to keep it forever.

takes a lot of pictures with you. you’re his homescreen for sure. it’s probably a really bad picture of you too. he laughs or smiles at it every time he opens his phone.

will call you weird nicknames in weird situations. like if he’s getting something for you he’ll be like “here you are, madam” in a weird accent too.

loves to ramble and laugh when he’s high. will start a argument about which music genre is the best and if aliens are real.

likes silence too. especially when he’s going at his guitar or thinking deep about something.

if you don’t smoke or don’t like it, he’s not tripping at all. he tries his best to keep it away from you or not do it around you at all.

will stare at you for a long period of time, just admiring you and will blame it on the weed.

feels for you so if you get upset, he’s there right away trying to make you feel better. but if you’re mad at him, he’d hate it but he’ll distance himself to give you time to yourself.

loves if you spend the night at his. sexual or not he just loves spending time with you.

if he really misses you, he’ll take a trip to yours and sneak in or just go through the front door.

you buy him an astray and he’s never using it. doesn’t want it to get dirty with ashes aka for what it’s used for.

he would lean against his pillow and watch as rue came into the room, joint in hand, eyes searching for an astray. she spots one on his desk and goes to tap the end of the joint on it to let the ashes fall from the lit tip but he’s quick to say something. “don’t use that one.” rue would be confused but does as he says. “why?” she questions. “she bought it for me,” elliot would reply and rue would grin. “oh!” she’d drown it on. “i will not put my filthy ashes in your beautiful ashtray,” she’d say sarcastically.

started calling you ma’am as a joke but then it started to be a almost everyday thing and now it’s not a joke.

⟢ at school or out in public, he’s just the same but he tries his best to be on his best behavior.

loves to kiss you out in public at random times to see how you react.

likes having a hand on you. it’s not much of a protective thing but of a casual thing. maybe like around your shoulders or around your waist.

will dismiss himself from class early to be at your classroom to walk you to class.

greets you with a hand around your waist and a kiss to your cheek, lips or forehead.

⟢ around friends, there’s a out of teasing and laughing.

rue calls him “lover boy” all the time. almost always in front of you because he loves hates it.

talks about you highly and i know it. especially if you’ve known each other for some years.

loves making out with you in front of rue and jules for a good laugh. seeing them roll their eyes and laugh right along with the two of you is funny all on it’s own.

makes sex jokes about the two of you all the time. brags about how good he fucks you and even goes as far as laying out the scene for whoever is listening.

⟢ when you’re getting down in bed, he’s very light hearted. takes it seriously but doesn’t at the same time.

100% a “for fun” panty stealer. will slip them into his pocket after taken them off of you and will just chuckle to himself.

doesn’t hold his tongue at all. if he wants to fuck you in a random moment he’s definitely telling you in your ear.

eats cunt like a fucking fat kid eats cake. his eyes are closed and he’s in it. makes little jokes here and there but nothing too crazy.

isn’t afraid to hold eye contact when he’s in it. actually prefers for you to look at him more than anything.

will ask you random questions to mess with you when he’s fucking you or eating you out.

“you know,” he’d start, words soft as he pulls away from your cunt. fingers still working into of you. “this reminds me, i really want ice cream,” he’d say, licking his lips of your wetness while watching your chest rise and fall, moans spilling from your mouth. “wanna get ice cream later?” he continued to ramble even after putting his mouth back on you. mouth full of your clit, sucking and licking at it. “elliot, stop— aah— fucking talking, please. you’re gonna make me cum.” he would only grin. “yes, ma’am.”

vocal. a lot of “fuck, baby” and “let me see you”’s.

moans, moans, moans. i just know for a fact he isn’t afraid to let em slip and he knows you like it.

a people pleaser but just for you— so a you pleaser. wants to please you to his best ability.

i think he would enjoy missionary but also doggy. missionary because he would like seeing you and holding eye contact while he would like doggy because he can whisper his weird questions directly into your ear and it’s better to keep up quiet if he’s cousin’s home.

he wouldn’t think of sex as a dom-sub dynamic. don’t think he have any extreme kinks either.

likes when you’re needy though. thinks it’s really cute and he gets to tease you about it later.

takes you anywhere private. a laundry room * wink wink *, in the school bathroom, in someone’s bathroom at a party, doesn’t matter as long as it’s private.

 2023 kausstar.

got a ask for a elliot version soooo here ya go! also got a good drabble idea that will be posted today 😌.

#⋆ 𐙚 ₊ ˚ star #+ it was raining while i was finishing 😌.#+ i love the rain.#elliot imagine #elliot x reader #elliot #elliot euphoria #euphoria smut #euphoria imagine #euphoria #euphoria x reader #dominic fike #dominic fike x reader

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heyimdove · 9 months

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More on why Persuasion is the real Jane Austen parallel to Aziracrow, and why Pride and Prejudice is not, because I can’t stop dwelling.

There’s a lot here so I’ll try to structure this in a way that makes sense. Wish me luck.

I’ve seen so many people equate Aziraphale to Lizzie and Crowley to Darcy, but these comparisons don’t make sense. Character-wise, they are far more like Anne Elliot and Frederick Wentworth, respectively.

We’ll start with Elizabeth Bennet, who I love with all my heart and is one of those characters I feel like I know (I’m delusional, it’s fine). Elizabeth is wonderfully intelligent, but she isn’t “accomplished” and isn’t a perfect specimen of Regency womanhood. Instead she’s sharp and headstrong. She wants to live how she wants and with someone she loves for a partner. She rejects a match that is, on paper, perfect and would solve all her family’s problems, because she won’t settle for unhappiness. You know who that doesn’t sound like?

Aziraphale, were he a Regency Era woman, would be considered very accomplished for the time; well-read, polite, even a music tutor. But he’s more unlike Elizabeth because he desires to “do what’s best for the family”. In other words, if Elizabeth Bennet was more like Aziraphale, she’d be married to Mr. Collins. She would’ve considered it her duty to marry him because it would protect her loved ones (see Aziraphale accepting the Metatron). For Aziraphale, his duty to protect trumps his personal desire.

So does that make Crowley our Lizzie? No, that doesn’t fit either, and not only because Aziraphale makes a terrible Darcy. Sure, Aziraphale’s status as an angel might be considered comparable to Darcy’s elevated status as a rich person, but Crowley has never hated Aziraphale, never even considered it, and wouldn’t hate him even after the rejection. Lizzie’s hatred is what spurs Darcy to grow. Darcy needed to be completely despised by her to decide to put in the work to be worthy of her.

Okay, so then is Crowley Darcy? Perhaps we could shoehorn that in somewhere because Darcy doesn’t seem good but actually is, or is considered grouchy, but it’s such a loose connection, it barely works-

-Especially when you consider how much better the two fit as the protagonists of Persuasion.

(And yes, shut up, I liked the Dakota Johnson one and I will be using the gifs.)

Where Pride and Prejudice is about two different people gradually seeing the value in the other, Persuasion is the story of two different people seeing the value in the other right from the start, but who then repeatedly make mistakes that keep them separate and in agony.

Aziraphale is *so* much like Anne. First, Anne is the only reasonable (read: likable) member of her high-born family, who believe people in other societal castes to not only be inferior, but disgusting.

Anne sees this is not true, and falls madly in love with the low-born Wentworth- only to be persuaded by outside input not to marry him. Station and familial duty play a part in this decision, and she regrets it for years. She is completely unable to move on.

Like Aziraphale, Anne is certainly more accomplished, for one thing, and she plays by the rules of women of her time and status. BUT her sense of mortality breaks often from that of her family. When she tries to impart her good morals upon them, they are dismissive and insulting, reacting as if Anne is the one who “doesn’t get it”.

She spends eight years with a family she barely belongs to, wondering why she ever thought the company of people like this was worth the loss of Wentworth.

For all of Anne’s kindness, she is a pushover. She’s rarely confident in herself. When she needs to speak up, or just have a direct conversation with Wentworth, she doesn’t. She can’t. She repeatedly makes Wentworth come to her.

Wentworth, meanwhile, is a far better match for Crowley than Darcy is. Wentworth will never be an aristocrat like the Elliots, but he carves out a life he considers valuable using new rules. Sound familiar?

Are Wentworth’s and Crowley’s morals obviously a bit different? Yes, of course. Crowley is a DEMON, after all. But Crowley conducts himself in such a way that he’s literally cast out of Heaven and removed from Hell- in other words, he’s twice been given “the rules” for how to act and has twice decided, nah, that’s not for me. Wentworth was given the rules for what he could have as a low-born man and became a wealthy, high-ranking naval officer. And Wentworth didn’t do that for love, either. He found the consideration of one’s wealth in determining whether they should be loved abhorrent. Wentworth did it for himself initially (bitterly too, maybe), just like Crowley saves the goats and the kids for himself.

And, of course, Crowley’s confession parallels Wentworth’s position in relation to Anne far more than Darcy’s position to Lizzie. Crowley says “if they (two apparent opposites) can do it, so can we,” because he knows he and Aziraphale love each other. At the start of Persuasion, Wentworth asks Anne to be his wife despite their differing societal rank because he knows they love each other. At the end of Persuasion, he asks again because he knows they have both been in agony, that they both love each other as much as they ever did.

Darcy, meanwhile, does not know if Lizzie loves him, but arrogantly believes she will accept on the basis that what he can offer her monetarily is better than what anyone else can, not knowing what she actually values. She demolishes him.

On that note, that’s really the only parallel between Aziracrow and Darcy/Lizzie, only Aziraphale is Darcy. Aziraphale believed Crowley would accept his offer because he believed Crowley would want to be an angel again. Crowley believed Aziraphale would accept his offer because he knew they loved each other.

These are all very different characters, but ultimately, I think we were gunning for Pride and Prejudice and wound up with Persuasion; the slowest, most agonizing burn with the most beautiful reunion. So we didn’t get “you have bewitched me, body and soul,” in S2. We got the events leading up to Persuasion, and will have S3 to watch them play out. Neil knows that Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship is the most compelling part of the story, so I doubt they’ll be separated for long. But everything is so messy, isn’t it? So it makes sense to keep them, like Anne and Wentworth, in close proximity, in mutual, bitter, unspoken pining, but still not together. It will be absolutely delicious to watch. Isn’t that what we loved the most from S1?

Because we know they love each other. And whatever catalyzing event forces them to say it out loud will be all the better if every moment they don’t say it hurts. I don’t want a “you have bewitched me” moment, I want “I’m half agony, half hope.”

#good omens #jane austen #meta #ineffable divorce #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #pride and prejudice #persuasion #im in pain #im in so much pain

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junicult · 1 year

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First of all, love you work!!! Secondly, for the bachelors asking farmer if they can try something new in the bedroom and what do you think the new kink they want to try would be?

!! the bachelors & their kinks

contains ; smut! nsfw. fem!farmer. much suggestive content. kinkplay (obvi). light bondage. fem!masturbation. fingering. slight edging. orgasm control / denial. overstim. squirting. mirror sex. oral (f!receiving). very brief mention of an insecure!reader (elliot’s.)

note ; i got another ask like this about just their fav kinks, so i’m combining them both here.

harvey.

- now, to some of you, this man may scream vanilla.

- which, okay, isn’t untrue.

- he loves those nights when you’re just needy and desperate, you just need him to be with you, no extra stuff.

- missionary, holding hands, moaning into your mouth while whispering abt how much you love each other—yeah, that’s his favorite.

- but, are we just gonna sit here and pretend like he’s not literally an overthinker?????

- OFC THIS MAN IS KINKY!!!!!

- but he’d much rather live in ignorant bliss then know you’d be turned off by his kinks.

- so yes. he’s got some pretty closeted fantasies, things he’s always wanted to try but has been wayy too scared to even mention.

- even if you’re like, “oh c’mon, you’re telling me there’s nothing you want to try?” practically BEGGING for him to confess,

- he’s just gonna swallow and shake his head.

- the thing about harvey, tho, is that during sex (even though he enjoys it very much), his main goal is to make sure you’re feeling good.

- it’s all about you, and whatever you want to try.

- you’ve definitely told him your biggest kinks, and can i just say you’ve definitely tried them all.

- that’s just bc he wants to do that for you.

- he was excited to help you fulfill those fantasies, especially since it made you feel so good.

- and depending on what a few of them were, he definitely tries to incorporate them into every night sex.

- anyways—

- it (annoyingly) takes a while to finally get him to open up.

- but once he finally tells you, ohhh boyyy.

- firstly, he’s into bondage. i said it.

- light, but still enough that you’re restrained at least somehow.

- whether it’s using his tie to pull your hands back, or a full on rope tying your limbs to the bedposts—i swear.

- he’s super gentle, tho. tying each knot and asking a quiet, “is it too tight?” every time.

- but fucckkkkk

- he’s gonna be so criminally slow.

- i wanna say he’s a switch. a big fan of letting you take the lead somedays, and him some others.

- so being able to tie you up is like his own leverage this time.

- he gets to see you squirming underneath him, body scorching and you’re just so desperate for him to fuck you,

- but he won’t. not yet, cus you just look so so pretty and, well, if this is his biggest fantasy, then he’s gonna take his time.

- secondly…roleplay.

- 🫡

- now, this may not be an everyday fantasy, but it’s definitely something he’d want to try at least once.

- and if we’re being literal, the only roleplay i can see him really wanting to try is some sort of doctor play.

- this man would NEVER (ignoring the fact that ur technically one of his patients so really not never) visualize his patients in such a way. he takes serious pride in being a doctor, and his professionalism.

- but hear me out—he’d die to have you on his table, you’re just so fucking horny and he’s kinda stressed, so he just fucks u right there in his office.

- lab coat still on, stethoscope hanging around his neck still. he’s literally in his entire work uniform.

- that’s just his biggest fantasy, tho.

- realistically, he’d never do that.

- it’d be a serious violation of anyone found out, and he’d lose his job (and likely much worse.)

- not to mention, extremely unsanitary. as much as he’d love to, he’d literally never.

- so, approaching this kink wouldn’t be easy.

- you’d probably get him to tell you, and he’d finish it with, “i’d much rather keep my job then throw it away by doing something reckless,” and you understand that, but it’s super exciting to see his face get all red and his eyes avoid contact.

- that doesn’t stop the thought from invading your mind every time you pop into the clinic to say hi to him.

- dropping him off a warm cup of coffee, and if he isn’t busy, you may even lean across the counter to give him a chaste kiss.

- except you’re sliding your hand around the back of his neck, feathering your fingers through his short brown hair and pulling him in, sorta taking him by surprise cus that’s hardly a kiss for a greeting.

- and you’re smiling when you pull away, a little devilish twinkle in your eye when you say, “i’ll see you at home, doctor,” just before waltzing out the door.

- hah. yeah.

- it’s gonna be a looonngg shift.

sam.

- he’s an open book.

- it didn’t take any prying at all, but the topic probably didn’t come up for a while.

- not until you guys were just sitting together one day, just talking like you usually do.

- and out of curiosity he asks, “is there anything you’d ever wanna try in bed? sexually?”

- so you tell him, and then proceed to ask the same question.

- he pretends to think for a moment.

- but really, he already knows what he wants to say.

- and he probably has a whole story to follow it up LMFAO

- “like, a long time ago i was, y’know…watching porn or whatever, like you do,” he’s looking down at his hands, twiddling his thumbs, “and i saw this one thing once. thought it was pretty cool.”

- “…which was?”

- he clears his throat. “just like…a dominatrix…”

- yeah.

- this man wants to be dominated 🤷‍♀️

- he probably went as far as to make a vow to himself that he’d try it once.

- don’t get me wrong, he’s definitely a switch as well. he likes being in control, and even a healthy dose of letting you be in control,

- but i’m talking DOMINATED.

- like, talk down on him, be a little rough, use him like he’s a toy.

- he’ll go fucking crazy.

- he genuinely doesn’t care what you do, just as long as you’re getting so much out of this, just using him however you please.

- i think i’ve said this a million times,

- but once he gets going, this man won’t shut the fuck up. he’s just talking and talking, spewing nothing but porn from his lips,

- and the moment you stuff ur panties in his mouth to shush him…

- yeah, that’s it. he’s done. he’s fulfilled his biggest dream.

- and he’s so glad you did it for him.

- another kink i feel like he’d have is you using him somehow to get yourself off, without touching his dick or something.

- and he definitely didn’t know he had this kink until once when you were just making out, you were so desperate that you subconsciously started rubbing against his thigh,

- and he didn’t realize what you were doing until you just cut yourself off moaning, head hanging and eyes lidded.

- he just placed his hands on your hips, watching you, how your hips moved against his clothed thigh and how your eyebrows pinched,

- you weren’t actively touching him or anything. but he got so hard that he started to feel like you literally were.

- he lets you use him to ride out your high, hardly paying attention to the way you’re panting, “‘m sorry, jus’ couldn’t—i’m sorry—“

- he’s already cutting you off,

- “do that again, fuck, do that again please.”

shane.

- he’s so kinky lol.

- the real question is what isn’t one of his kinks?

- no cus honestly, i feel like he’d be down to try anything at least once. just to see if he liked it, and to see what he didn’t.

- for the most part, he kinda likes everything.

- within reason, of course.

- so i feel like getting him to open up about it wasn’t hard at all. especially if you’re already really close and connected with one another.

- as for his kinks, like the ones he prefers over everything else, well…i feel like they’re surprisingly underwhelming.

- his absolute favorite will forever be handcuffs.

- cuffing you to the bedpost, arms up high and out of reach so he can tease you all he wants.

- and he loves when you just get so flushed and embarrassed, but you can’t use your hands to cover your face.

- it’s so rare he’d ever be the one cuffed. he likes it much more when you are.

- plus, i feel like you tried once, and you got way too cocky that he just ripped through them and fucked you stupid.

- so yeah. cuffs are appreciated.

- another one of his kinks would be watching you masturbate.

- or even guiding you through masturbation.

- it’s just so hot when he has you laying in front of him, legs propped and spread apart, with your hand teasing your cunt however you like.

- kinda, sorta degrades u while praising you at the same time.

- “you’re not gonna cum yet, are you? i thought you were better then that.” “it’s up to you, baby. you wanna cum now, or let me give it to you later?”

- he’s gonna make you edge yourself.

- but really, it’s your call if you wanna cum without his permission or not.

- if u do, that’s fine. he’ll bask in the sight of you trembling and whining from your own doing.

- however, just so you know, he’s not gonna fuck you for the next few days.

- so why’re you all clingy now, desperate and whiny?

- after all, it seems like you don’t even need him.

sebastian.

- hmmm.

- he’s absolutely not an open book.

- it took him a while to even have sex with you first, anyways. obviously he’s not gonna bust out every position or activity he’s ever wanted to try right away.

- he’s probably not going to be able to talk about it unless he’s already horny, and his pride is out the window.

- now, this man has long, thin fingers.

- yeah, he’s always liked the idea of fingering u.

- that’s not necessarily a kink, so let me take it one step further.

- his fingers can reach really deep inside of you, and in some ways, his fingers feel a little better then his actual cock.

- after years of practice with you, he’s gotten very good at learning what you like, and what you don’t like. he’s super vigilant.

- he knows just where to curve his fingers inside of you, just how quickly to pump them in and out of you to the point where you’re nothing but stuttered gasps and choked out moans.

- and because he has such long fingers, he knows exactly where that small, rough spot is inside of you.

- and he knows what can happen if he focuses specifically on just that one spot.

- see where i’m going w this?

- every single time he fingers you, he always has one end goal.

- to make you squirt.

- whether you realize that’s what he’s trying to do or not, he’s obsessed with the possibility of feeling your arousal all over his hand, making a mess out of your sheets and even his clothes if he can try hard enough (gn.)

- it wasn’t until one day when he was finally able to do it—i swear he thought he was a dead man.

- he literally came in his pants just from the sight alone 😇

- your body shaking, mind so foggy you don’t even realize what you’ve done until your breaths finally even out minutes later.

- it’s even cuter when you finally do, and you grow all embarrassed.

- “holy shit, did i just…?”

- but when you look at his flushed face, and down at the growing stain in his pants,

- let’s just say ur no longer the one who’s embarrassed.

alex.

- when it comes to sex, he’s pretty vanilla.

- he likes fucking you until you both cum, he’s not really one to edge or overstimulate you.

- but as it turns out, his kinks are pretty specific.

- i feel the need to mention that immediately, as soon as i got this ask, i just knew i had to talk about this.

- don’t get me wrong, i love alex so much. he’s so adorable.

- and this probably doesn’t count as a kink, but please hear me out when i say,

- he’ll definitely give u his jersey to wear when he fucks u stupid one day.

- i’m sorry.

- some may say narcissistic, he says confident!

- just the way his jersey engulfs your frame, his last name written in large letters above his number makes him…nghh.

- like, he was unpacking to move into the farm, found his old jersey in one of his boxes and he excitedly showed it to you.

- he was so cute about it, reminiscing on that time in his life before you offhandedly asked him to try it on.

- and he was all, “oh, no way. it wouldn’t fit me anymore.” so instead, you tried it on.

- and it just clicked on his mind.

- like a literal switch that just immediately gave him a hard on.

- he couldn’t help but kiss all down your neck, and eventually have you bent over one of the cabinets, your hair wrapped in his loose fist so he could see the jersey properly while fucking you from behind.

- ur moaning so loud, panting and whining, and he can’t help but love the fact that you’re all his.

- he’s just obsessed. ur definitely doing that again.

- this next one kinda ties into his slight narcissism, too.

- and this one also isn’t really a kink, but with how badly he wants to try it, it may as well be.

- alex likes anything that proves how strong he is.

- fucking you against the wall, holding you up entirely, literally anything that shows off his strength.

- so it shouldn’t have been a surprise when he turned to you one evening, and was just like, “you should sit on my face.”

- when you agree to it, he knows you well enough to know you’re just gonna hover.

- and he’s not having that.

- “don’t be shy, actually sit on it. c’mon, you think you could hurt me?”

- “what if you stop breathing?”

- he almost wants to roll his eyes. “then it’d be a rightful way to die.”

- “alex!”

- “baby, just sit! i’m gonna be fine, i promise. please. for me.” he’ll use puppy dog eyes, even stick out his bottom lip of he has to.

- finally, when you do, he feels like he’s ascending to heaven.

- wraps his arms around your thighs to tug you down further, and he’s looking up at you moaning like crazy while he eats you out like he’s starving.

- there was no easing into it, he’s immediately diving in.

- cus once again, if there’s one honorable way to die, then it’s buried between your thighs.

elliot.

- it’s a given he’s extremely romantic.

- he’s the type to surprise you with candlelight dinners at home, or a fancy, all expenses paid (by him) evening in zuzu city.

- all of his romance, deep love and affection for you of course translates to sex.

- he’s written a lot of novels, he’s read a lot of romances.

- but, i feel like he likes to keep it simple in bed.

- much like harvey, he prefers when you’re just in the moment together, holding each other, finishing together.

- he probably wouldn’t be against trying many things just to try them out, or if you really enjoyed them,

- but when it comes to his own kinks? they’re super tame.

- for one, he absolutely loves when he gets to put you in front of a mirror, completely naked slotted between his thighs, with either your or his fingers rubbing against your cunt.

- you just roll your head back into his shoulder, panting while he whispers words of praise into your ear.

- it’s like, he’s showering you with endless levels of pleasure, all of which you’re too short-circuited to focus on any.

- he mostly loves this position after you offhandedly, or subtly mention something poor about how you look.

- so he uses that opportunity to let you see yourself the way he sees you.

- “my pretty baby, i don’t believe you could even think so poorly of yourself.” kissing your cheek in whispering in your ear.

- he won’t edge you. he couldn’t deprive himself of waiting to see you finish.

- so another one of his kinks that he’ll never fail to forget is overstimulation.

- he’s not done until you’re practically stupid, nearly drooling.

- when all you can speak are incoherent babbles, breath staggering in your chest.

- that’s when he knows he can finally finish, bc that’s another thing,

- he’s not cumming until you’re entirely fucked out.

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just-another-author-i-guess · 1 year

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Ppppft!!! Elliot casually entering in Judd's room at the worst possible moments, yes please!! I like to think that Judd put all those signs in his door mainly because of his dad 🤣 Elliot and Diane embarrassing Judd is everything i need in this life, hopefully in front of his crush lol 😈

This has been stuck in my head literally the whole week— it’s too good not to write seriously 🤭

Tags: fem! Reader, mentions of sex? Like a lot of mentions, also masturbation, also cockblocking lol, but as I keep saying this is big mouth fanfic what do you expect, Nick and Jessi being jealous boggles my brain, it’s too funny, Elliot Birch is an actual menace, he also has no regards for privacy, it’s his house so he can enter whatever room he wants ig, author had way too much fun writing this

I based this on my first big mouth story, read it HERE

Author’s note: I’m cackling. I loved writing this so much omg— why is it funny tormenting the characters so much 🧍🏻‍♀️anyways, I did my best with Diane and Elliot’s dialogue,, but it’s hard lol. I hope you find it as funny to read as I did to write, and also, ig I kinda lied bc the third and fourth reason technically doesn’t have anything to do with people barging into Judd’s room. But he does get embarrassed, and I needed a good title, sue me. No but seriously, I hope you like this haha

Four (4) reasons why Judd has ‘keep out’ signs on his door

Word count; 4,7K

Reason one (1)

The air in Judd’s room was warm, and humid, and seemed to have stilled once the two of you collapsed on the bed, worn out from an intense round of fucking.

He barely bothered covering himself, instead he threw you a somewhat sweaty shirt he had been wearing beforehand and pulled the covers up enough to just barely cover his hips. You accepted it with shaky hands and a worn out smile, almost purring as you slipped into the garment and burrowed yourself under his covers as well.

Between your legs, now resided a slowly cooling and increasingly sticky mess, still leaking from you as you turned in the bed. However, your boyfriend never made a move to get up and fetch a towel. He did reach out an inviting arm, though, urging you to scoot closer to him. You did so with a hazy look on your face, nuzzling into his neck and inhaling.

You listened to his heart beat wildly, his blood bump and felt so, so content. You heard him relax as well, a deep, low, grunt of a sigh as he settled in, clearly as ready for a nap as you were.

With the humidity and the stillness of everything, it was too easy to close your eyes and bask in the feeling of sleepiness. You were right there, on the sweet, blurry edge between sleep and consciousness when a series of rapid knocks broke through the silence.

Judd groaned, clearly on the cusp of sleep himself— voice even raspier than usual. Besides mumbling a few threatening words under his breath, he didn’t move to open the door or even care to call out to whoever was knocking. It would most likely be Nick, anyway, coming to bother you and he would set the world aflame before he let his stinky little brother see his girlfriend half naked.

None of you even had time to register it, before the door rattled, opened and a much too cheery Dr. Birch stepped through.

You froze— wide eyes searching Judd as the crease between his eyebrows became deeper and a murderous expression overtook his sleepy face.

“Dad.” He rasped. “Get the hell out.” He was quick to tuck the covers around you, especially your still very wet crotch and ass, completely disregarding the fact that he was butt naked himself. You shrieked as he suddenly rolled you in the sheets— grateful nonetheless as you came to face Elliot Birch, the man completely indifferent to the two of you and your nakedness.

“Oh, my sweet Judd!” Mr. Birch exclaimed, ignoring how you both looked very much like you wanted him to leave. “How magnificent is it, that you feel comfortable sharing your nude self with me and Y/n?”

He clasped both hands over his heart, dramatically, and Judd somehow turned even paler than he already was. He muttered something that sounded suspiciously like; “I am going to fucking murder you.” And darted for the floor where he had thrown his jeans.

“Oh noo! No need to feel ashamed, Judd, I’ll take my pants off too!—“

“— no!” A choked out yell escaped you too quickly. Your face felt hot, and you didn’t have to look in a mirror to know that you were beat red by now. You did not need to see Judd’s dads bare ass after already already being embarrassed beyond belief.

Dr. Birch chuckled and smiled warmly at you. “Setting your boundaries, I see. I’m so proud of you Y/n— my son has such a strong willed girlfriend!”

Your cheeks burned. “Uh, right. Thank you, Dr. Birch,”

“Call me Elliot!”

Judd scoffed behind you, finally getting his pantless situation under control. “Fuck off, dad. Now. I mean it.” Even he was a bit too stunned to come up with a proper threat.

Elliot sighed, smiling. “Oh, I will, I will! I’ll leave you two lovers alone in just a minute! I do have a little favour to ask you first, though, Juddy,”

“What.” Judd deadpanned, the tips of his ears colouring slightly at the horrific nickname.

“I have this tag still on the back of my shirt, you see, I would have taken it off before trying the shirt on, but now I appreciate it so much I didn’t want to take it off myself— Ah, it holds such good memories of this morning!”

This morning in particular, Nick tried to hit on you and Judd threw a milk carton at him.

Judd sighed, deeply, and looked a bit like a feral bull. “You are such a fucking pussy, dad.” He growled, but still walked towards his dad with intend to help.

“Thank you! That is such a beautiful organ,” You kinda wanted to snicker, at the absurdity of the whole situation, but kept your mouth shut. Judd worked quickly, ripping out the tag and throwing it at his dad.

“Why the hell didn’t you ask Nick?” Judd grit out, coming to sit on the edge of his bed by your feet. He put a protective, soothing hand on your leg under the covers.

Dr. Birch laughed. “Because you’re so strong! And I love you, son,”

Judd visibly clenched his jaw, you had no doubt that if this continued a vein would pop on his forehead. “I hate you.” He countered.

“And I validate that feeling! You have such a way with words, you should think about being a writer, don’t you think so too, Y/n?”

“Get the fuck out.” Judd snarled before you had to respond— thankfully. You smiled awkwardly at Mr. Birch, as if trying to confirm Judd’s words but in a much politer way.

He smiled. “Alright, alright! Have fun, you two, and be safe!” He said over his shoulder, as if it wasn’t obvious that the two of you had just very much had your fun, and sauntered towards the door, closing it gently behind him.

Reason two (2)

Unfortunately for Judd, he didn’t have his own bathroom in the house, having to share two between his family.

Around the shower, was carefully placed a plethora of different pastel coloured shampoo and body washes— all of which belonged to Leah and smelled like a candy crush fever dream. Judd sorted through them roughly, pushing most of them over in his search to find the all-in-one and shampoo for dyed hair he usually used.

As he showered, working the shampoo into his hair and revelling in the warm, steamy water spray, Maury appeared; ‘You’re taking a shower for Y/n, huh?’ The hormone monster drawled. He was bored; checking his nails as he made himself comfortable on the toilet outside the shower.

Judd grunted. It was true, you would be over in a bit and he didn’t want to smell like the raccoons. “Why are you here?” He demanded.

The monster chuckled and held up his hands in defence. ‘It’s not my fault you can’t stop thinking about Y/n.. Ahh, remember last week when she sucked you off in the shower? Why’s she not doing that right now? Let’s call her,’ Suddenly Maury had Judd’s phone, and was waving it around.

“Fuck you. Let me shower.”

‘No, let’s fuck Y/n!’ Maury countered enthusiastically. ‘And besides, y’know that’s not how it works,’ He grinned mirthfully, slithering around the glass wall of the shower to point a long, clawed finger at Judd’s cock— sure enough it was rising to attention. ‘You gotta jerk off. C’mon, give me a good show!’

Judd could have punched Maury— and he had actually tried that before, just for the monster to disappear and reappear behind him with a smug look. So instead of drop kicking his hormone monster, he promptly ignored him and turned around to face the water spray.

‘Nuh-uh,’ Maury grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him around— he shook the monster off with a deep growl. ‘Think about Y/n’s nice, biiig tits, ah~’ Maury shuddered, but continued. ‘Remember how they looked all wet, uhhh I bet she’d let you blow your load all over them next time,’ Maury was unrelenting, an increasingly deepening blush spread over Judd’s face and ears and he let out a strangled groan.

“Shit, fine!” He hissed and the monster whooped in victory.

Judd was quick to tip his head back and grab his dick with a closed fist. He sighed through gritted teeth as he got to work— swiftly and quite roughly pumping himself as Maury cheered him on. He closed his eyes and let his jaw go slack, imagining it was your hand around him and recalling the alluring noises you made whenever he was pleasuring you.

His release build steadily, hand movements getting more frantic and his breath sped up. The spray of water only seemed to get hotter, and the steam in the room became more dense. He leaned forward— spreading his hand out on the wall in front of him to get a better angle, and keep his balance. Now his head hung low, and he panted open-mouthed as he tightened the grip around his cock and sped up his movements again. He was so close, just a few more pumps and—

The bathroom door flew open and Judd all but jumped out of his own skin. He had locked the door when he first entered, right?

‘Nooo..! Elliot, get the hell out!’ Maury yowled— appearing on the other side of the shower and trying to push out the intruder, who unfortunately was Judd’s dad. Elliot could neither see nor hear or feel the monster, so Maury’s punching and shaking left him completely unfazed as he continued further into the room.

Judd’s eyes shot open, slack mouth turning into a frightening scowl as he heard his dad sing to himself. Elliot sauntered about the bathroom— humming a song about lotion and browsing through the cabinets.

“Don’t mind me, Juddy!” He yelled over the water, as if it was a most normal occurrence to walk in on your 18-year-old son taking a shower.

Maury slithered back into the shower. ‘Let’s kill him. Now. And then we can tend to your little.. problem after,’ He suggested, glaring at Elliot’s shadow through the shower window. Luckily, it was steamy enough to only show silhouettes, so Judd could at least maintain a bit of dignity.

Judd grunted and nodded in agreement, turning off the shower. “Get the fuck out,” He rumbled, low and threatening.

“I can’t find my lotion anywhere! It makes my skin so soft— just the way your mother likes it,” Elliot tutted, completely ignoring Judd’s orders.

“I’ll fucking skin you alive. Get out.” Judd repeated, this time raspier, raising his voice. The steam from the warm water was slowly dissolving— leaving the glass in the shower clear enough to reveal most of Elliot to Judd and vice versa.

Elliot chuckled warmly. “You have such a poetic soul, son. It’s such a shame you don’t write more,”

A cross between a deep growl and sigh escaped Elliot’s oldest son. “What the hell are you talking about.” Judd said, and though it sounded like a question he didn’t actually want to know the answer.

Dr. Birch turned to his oldest, now fully visible behind the shower glass and said; “Your creative potential! Ohhh! You should write Y/n a love letter, she would love it—“

“— Fuck no.”

Elliot’s eyebrows creased, and his facial expression turned earnest. “I know you’re very good at pleasing Y/n with your body—“

“—Dad, shut up—” Now Judd was really embarrassed, he had both hands covering his privates, but was still very much butt naked in front of his dad, a reality that didn’t fail to make a blush creep over his ears and cheeks. The fact that he was also still rock hard, didn’t help at all.

“— But!” Elliot continued, pointedly ignoring Judd. “You should do something romantic for her! Something with your heart! You should always show a woman how much you love her, Judd,” He reminded, a gentle smile on his face as he watched his son grow increasingly embarrassed.

“Okay. I don’t care. Get the fuck out.” Judd deadpanned. He had let his facade slip for just a brief moment— before covering his appalled expression up with a vicious glare.

“Oh, but I still need my lotion—“

“— I’ll gut you and fill you with your fucking lotion if you don’t get out.” He snarled, strained and deep and his look made it clear it was definitely not up for debate.

‘Boo! Get the fuck out, Elliot!’ Maury added in the background, throwing a shampoo bottle at the man.

All he did was chuckle at the threat— shrugging his shoulders. “Alright, Juddy, I respect your boundaries. It’s important to acknowledge such things,” He smiled and relented his search for lotion. He continued humming obnoxiously, however, as he left and softly closed the door behind him.

Reason three (3)

You gasped, puffy lips parting to make way for the eager sound. Judd had roughly thrown you on the couch, slotting himself between your legs and ferociously attacked your neck as soon as you had walked in the door.

Finally, finally, the two of you were alone— in fact, you had the whole house to yourself. Leah was out, Mr and Mrs Birch had taken Nick out for dinner which left you and Judd the perfect opportunity to fuck on the living room couch. And you barely got a saying (not that you minded) before Judd was putting that plan into action.

Scrambling to put your hands under his shirt, you clumsily felt him up— lightly scratching at his abs just how you knew he liked it. He growled, heavy and husky and bit hard on your neck in retaliation.

A strangled whine escaped you and you pulled at his shirt— you needed it off. You felt him grin against your throat, just the slightest twist of his mouth as he scraped his teeth against you.

“Use your words, baby,” He breathed, cruelly dragging his teeth so slowly against your sensitive neck and grinding into you— so you could properly feel him.

It was so unfair, he knew you’d have no chance of responding when he started palming at your tits, squeezing one in each hand.

You tugged harder, pulling Judd closer to you in the process. “Off.” Was the only thing you were able to whine.

He licked a long stripe up your neck— tasting you to the best of his ability before he obeyed you. He sat on his knees between your legs, and you watched him with a flushed face as he pulled his shirt over his head and discarded it on the floor somewhere.

Connie, who previously had been banned to the floor where she sat and watched the two of you intensely, stood up— her mouth dropped cartoonishly, hanging on the floor as her tongue lolled out.

‘Sweet mother of jeebus! Look at those strong, delicious abs..! Lick them— c’mon lick them, hurry! Lick them till he’s all you can taste, sugarplum!’ She cried, and it wasn’t a question, it was a demand.

You couldn’t help but oblige. You sat up, the way your legs were placed allowing you to straddle him and push him backwards on the couch. To your utter bamboozlement he let you, allowing you control for just a moment as a self-satisfied eyebrow-raise came to his face.

Half sitting up, he now had the perfect position to ground up into you and you immediately lost what little control you had. Two large hands enclosed around your hips in a lock tight hold—starting a rhythm in which he could press your hips down on his.

He kissed you then, a tingling feeling erupting in your lower stomach as you tasted the Jack Daniel’s on his tongue. He licked into your mouth with newfound fever, swallowing your desperate yelps and moans— one hand wandering from your hip to your shoulder where he started to push the strap of your tank-top down.

You arched your back, pressing into him, and he took the opportunity to roughly squeeze your ass. In retaliation, you reached a hand down— roughly squeezing his cock through his jeans.

He groaned, a throaty, baritone sound. “You bitch..!” He cursed and then he was pulling your hair— suddenly pulling you back from his mouth with a harsh tug so he could position you in a way that allowed him to abuse your neck some more.

He bit you so hard it was sure to leave marks, red and swollen bite marks that would sit on your neck for weeks like an obnoxious neon sign. You sighed and started working his belt—fighting to get it off so you could get your price quicker.

However, just as you were done popping the button on his jeans, the front door clicked and swung open.

“No, dad! You’re embarrassing me—“

“— You used to love your father’s hugs, Nick, what’s wrong?”

“Nothings wrong, mom, but I’m a man now. I don’t want hugs.”

“Awww, please, Nicky. Let me give my little man a hug,”

“No, dad, leave me a— Judd?” Nick walked further into the room, in an attempt to escape being coddled by his dad— but came face to face with you on top of his older brother instead.

Judd’s grip on your hair immediately loosened, Connie cursed and tried to close the front door before Elliot and Diane could enter— you sat up, mortified and corrected the strap of your top back to your shoulder.

“Nick.” Judd stated, barely bothering lifting his head to look at his brother. You, however, stared the tween down wide-eyed. “Fuck off, we’re busy.” He grunted. The very same sentence he said whenever Nick would brother the two of you in his room.

You watched as Nick’s fists clenched, his face going through multiple shades of red till it landed on an angry glare directed at his brother. “Judd, you're such a slut!” He yelled, voice crack audible and was that.. tears in his eyes?

“Are you going to cry, you little prick?” Judd cackled— sitting upright all the way so his chest was pressed to yours.

“Now, Nicky, what are you slut-shaming your brother for?” Dr. Birch waltzed through the front door along with his wife— as if this moment couldn’t get any worse. You moved to get off Judd, but when he grunted and held your hips down, you noticed he was indeed still incredibly hard and you would need to sit still, so as to not expose his boner to his family.

You felt hot, too clammy as red colour spread from your chest all the way to your ears— like a kettle heating.

‘Yeah, fuck this. Sorry, sweetheart, but I cannot deal with this today! You’re on your own!’ Connie patted your head, slowly backing away and into a portal that would take her to god-knows-where and throwing you a ‘peace out’ sign. Wow. Such support.

“Look at what he’s doing to Y/n!” Nick accused, waving his arms at the two of you.

You didn’t know it was possible, but Dr. Birch frowned, looking down at his son. “Now, Nicky, it’s never okay to slut-shame someone, especially not when you’re witnessing such a beautiful moment! Judd is just sharing an intimate moment with Y/n, nothing to be ashamed off,”

Judd stiffened under you, he was tense, you were tense, both of you embarrassed beyond belief. Your ears burned bright red, horrified.

Your boyfriend let out a warning growl. “Shut the hell up, dad—“

“— Oh, Y/n! It’s so good to see you!” Then it was Diane talking, she walked towards the two of you on the couch with a warm smile. You couldn’t bear to look her in the eyes— not when you were literally sitting on Judd’s boner, so instead you buried your head in his shoulder.

“Good to see you, too, Mrs. Birch..” You muttered, feeling Judd’s hands tighten around you.

Diane tutted. “Oh, Y/n, no need to be embarrassed. I’m glad you both feel comfortable having sex under our roof, and you are more than welcome to,”

It was an attempt to soothe you, yet it sounded so warped coming from your boyfriend's mom’s mouth.

Judd heaved a long sigh. “We have.. shit to do. Leave.” He said, sounding equally as mortified as you felt.

Mrs. Birch chuckled lightly. “We’ll be upstairs, Juddy. You two just enjoy yourself, and Y/n, please stay for dinner!” She hummed— you wanted to cry.

You kept your head burrowed into Judd, listening as Mr and Mrs. Birch’s footsteps resounded towards the stairs, yet one pair of feet remained.

“Get the fuck out, shitface.” Judd deadpanned.

“I’m allowed to be here, it’s my house too!” Nick was defiant, pouting at his brother.

Judd’s jaw clenched— Nick would definitely come to regret this later. “You have a second to leave before I come over there and rip your beady eyes out, you fucking creep.” His voice was low and carnal and it was clear he meant business— that was no empty threat.

Nick paled slightly, but before he could even begin to find the right response, Diane called from upstairs; “Nicholas Birch! Go to your room and leave your brother alone, now!”

At that, Nick complied immediately, secretly relieved to get a free ticket out of the situation before Judd would beat him to a pulp as he flew up the stairs.

Reason four (4)

You were sprawled out on Judd’s bed, a raccoon curled on your lap and Connie laying on her back by your feet. She was watching Judd intensely as he worked out— occasionally commenting on his grunts or groans as he lifted the heavy weights.

You didn’t bother entertaining her, gently stroking the raccoon while scrolling on your phone. The animal chatted to you, small hands wavering about as it chittered. You thoroughly enjoyed moments like this, when you and your boyfriend could co-exist quietly and in peace. Judd was lying on the floor somewhere, having moved on from the weights to instead practise his pushups. The two of you would probably go out later, after the rather excruciating last few interactions you had with Judd’s parents, the two of you decided to skip dinner with them for the time being.

Your phone was hooked to Judd’s speaker, as he had graciously allowed you to play music for him while he worked out. The raccoon in your lap seemed to enjoy your taste in music as well- tail swaying softly to the baseline.

Catching your hormone monster from the corner of your eye, you saw how she stiffened and suddenly sat up. Her hairs stood up, ears turning down as she surveyed the room— she turned to say something to you, but right before the sounds escaped her, three shy knocks came to the door.

Judd, who was now doing crunches, sat up fully to fix you a blank stare. He gestured towards the door with his head and raised eyebrows, you pouted but got up. The raccoon in your lap protested as you softly shooed it off— it scurried off under the bed to hide from whoever came to disturb you. Connie followed closely behind you, slinking after you like a shadow as you approached the door.

Opening the door, you were already quite ready to fight off Nick or Mr. Birch, but what you didn’t expect, however, was your sister standing there and wringing her hands with a nervous expression.

“Uh, Jessi?” You didn’t even know she was here, actually you hadn’t seen her since yesterday evening when Judd picked you up from your dad’s.

Connie raised a hand to her face and pinched the bridge of her nose. ‘Oh sweet child..’ She muttered, studying your sister from over your shoulder.

Jessi took a step back, startled, when instead of her crush she came face to face with you in pyjama shorts and one of Judd’s shirts. You bend over a little, to be more on level with her. “What are you doing here? Do you need a lift home, or something?”

She gaped at you, clearly losing track of whatever she was going to say. You watched, a bit concerned, as gears turned in her head. Then, you felt something, someone, else at your side. You wrinkled your nose as Judd came up besides you— his sweaty palm enclosing around your waist as he pulled you to him.

You wanted to comment on it— tell him to shower before he got his sweat all over you, but he beat you to it; “Hey Y/n’s sister Jessi.” He grumbled, granting the tween a downwards glance.

Jessi looked positively constipated, and also a bit like she was going to puke. You freed yourself from Judd— dropping to your knees and gently holding Jessi’s shoulder. “Jessi-bear, are you sick?”

Connie followed you closely again, this time appearing behind your sister, clutching her closely and spreading a palm over her forehead to feel her temperature. ‘She’s down with a baaad case of Judd fever!’ The monster exclaimed, slightly shaking Jessi, whose blush had now risen from her neck all the way to her ears— colouring her face completely red.

You sighed as your sister seemed to boot up again from her temporary lockdown. She quickly stepped back from you, and you realised she was holding something behind her hands. Connie noticed it too; ‘Aw Jessi.. So cute, but sad. Very, very sad. Actually kinda pathetic, you better let her down easy, Y/n, sugar.’

“I am not Jessi-bear! And I’m not sick! Just.. Just regular, old, fun, Jessi..” She waved you off, and you stood back up— slightly surprised by her outburst.

You tried, and failed, to hide your grin. Apparently, Judd thought your sister's awkward demeanour was funny as well. “Okay, regular, old, fun Jessi. What do you want?” He said, raising a brow at the flustered tween.

She swallowed thickly, and you fixed Judd a glance that meant ‘don’t be mean’. He retaliated by shrugging and wrapping his arm around you again. Jessi’s blush somehow grew more vivid— she looked a bit like a cat on edge as she dared a glance up at your boyfriend.

“I was just, y’know, strolling by–” Connie clasped a large paw over her mouth, shaking her again. ‘–Stop talking, baby! Stop talking!’ She howled, though Jessi didn’t seem to hear or even feel her.

“This hallway has such interesting architecture, did you notice that?” She finished off, fiddling with whatever she had behind her back and making a point of staring at the ceiling instead of Judd. Your boyfriend in question only grunted, keeping his intense glare on Jessi.

Sighing, you said; “It doesn’t. It’s a hallway. Look, if you need a lift home I’ll be ready in fifteen minutes, but shouldn’t you hang out with your friends or something instead? I’m sure Nick is looking for you,” You hinted, but all you got from Jessi was a vivid glare.

“Yeah. Actually, you’re right. I was just dropping by, but I’m actually really, really busy, so..” She shifted on her feet, turning to leave and accidentally exposing you to the thing she had been holding.

Judd’s eyebrows drew closer together, in a full on scowl. “Is that my shirt?”

You snorted. “Oh my god!” You stared at your sister in bewilderment, trying to decide whether it was funny, gross or awkward beyond belief; You settled on a good mix of both.

Immediately, the garment slipped from Jessi’s hands and she paled. “I-I-I found it like this! I just wanted to return it!” She could have puked, breathing speeding up as she fought off the hyperventilation and stared at the two of you with a horrified look that meant you had definitely caught her red-handed.

“Are you stealing Judd’s shirts? I knew I had a bunch of them, did you seriously take them?” You asked, now mortified. Judd let out a series of low, cackling laughs as you watched your sister tear up. She opened and closed her mouth, fighting to say something but ultimately gave up— running off down the hall as you watched her retreating form with bewilderment.

You’ve reached the bottom🧍🏻‍♀️thank you for reading this far, haha, I hope you enjoyed it. The last one was heavily inspired by that scene in the new season were Jessie walk in on Judd and his girlfriend(?), I just saw that and needed to write something similar

I’m now on my winter break, and I’ve got a lots of idea for Judd content for y’all this week so look out for that!

With this story, I literally need to add this meme; reblogged to me by @raccoon66

Thank you so much lol, it’s literally the best thing ever 🙏🙏

Tags: @dlfvrr , @bxbyyyjocelyn

#big mouth #judd birch x reader #judd birch #judd birch smut #big mouth x reader

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vampirevatican · 6 months

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can we talk about judd? i just wanna talk about judd. visiting the birch house for your boyfriend and/or friend?? yes.

he does scare you but it's not intentional. you'd show up to the birch household because leah invited you or you are miraculously friends with him and after all of the pleasantries you hear his voice echoing from somewhere

on occasion you can pinpoint where his voice is coming from and you just either look up at a vent or knock on that specific wall

riding in his van? you'd think it's a death wish but he actually makes you put on your seatbelt before he takes off. probably even puts his arm out infront of you when he makes a hard stop

with that said there's so much more to him than just a man that wants to watch the world burn, not like he doesn't want that but there's more.

he's a whole lot sweeter to you because I mean, you're his "bitch" and yes he'd call you names and you do the same back

the relationship is very chill and playful but on occasion he's a true romantic

his love language is quality time and physical touch, high-key physical touch though he can NOT keep his hands off of you, especially infront of anyone who makes him a bit jealous

carrying the torch and going off canon, nick and his friends, or the kids of the cast? you practically treat missy, jessie and lola like they're your own daughters as for nick, andrew and jay? it'd be a cold day in hell before Judd just leaves you with those weirdos.

granted jay is kinda taken under his wing at vocational school so he trusts his werid little bro code bs but as for that perv andrew and his jackass brother? he has eyes and ears everywhere.

nick: your girlfriend is coming over?

andrew: judd has a girlfriend?

judd: yes, and you shitheads better not do anything to make her uncomfortable.

jay: rule #1 of the bro code, never eye another bros girl.

judd: yeah, whatever

ofc he doesn't think that you like them, or see them as competition. he just doesn't want you to be uncomfortable

however you find this adorable and sometimes creepy, it's why he looks out for you when they're at the house

nick? adorable, you know he has a crush on you but he's literally a child and a baby so you pick on him.

you: little baby man.

judd: ha, you're a little baby.

nick: no im not!

you: baby baby baby man.

andrew... gross, iconic and silly at times but just straight up weird, what you respect though is his self awareness

on occasion you try to help the duo be normal and get girls in their age range but it's rly difficult with nick because he's such a cocky asshole

his parents? so nice and welcoming, there was a few times that elliot walked in on you two hanging out and of course judd was urging him to, "get the fuck out."

ngl though diane and elliot see how much light you bring into judd's life and they couldn't be more grateful

#judd birch x reader #judd birch #more coming very soon...#he is.. the only thing on my mind.

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bethanydelleman · 6 months

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Writing Villains (Advice from Jane Austen)

One of the reasons that I find Jane Austen's novels so wonderful is that they have amazingly realistic villains, some that are fully fleshed out characters. Austen's biggest strength is that she gives her villains clear, logical motives. In fact, for many of her villainous characters you can turn the entire story around and see a rational story from the other side.

For example, Lucy Steele. She doesn't attack Elinor out of mindless evil, but because Edward Ferrars is her golden ticket to wealth and she knows that Edward loves Elinor. Lucy might twist the knife a little on Elinor out of sadism, but generally she attacks Elinor in an attempt to secure Edward. When it comes to other characters, Lucy is overly sweet if she wants something from them, otherwise she acts normally. As an example, she leaves Marianne alone because Marianne is not competing for Edward and also can't do anything for Lucy. Anne, Lucy's sister, likes her. Lucy has friends and family she stays with, she's a fairly well-rounded person.

You can put yourself in Lucy's shoes, you can turn the entire narrative on it's head and play it out from her perspective and it would make complete sense. You could even make Lucy sympathetic! She probably sees herself as a hardworking underdog, trying to wrest her one chance at prosperity away from the conniving Elinor Dashwood. I'm sure she thinks the pain she causes Elinor is justified.

If you can't do that with your villains, then there is a good chance they are just evil for evil's sake. I picked Lucy Steele on purpose because I hate when the entire motivation for a antagonist female character is "bitches be crazy". Bitches may be mean, but almost always for a good reason.

Even Mrs. Norris, who is probably the most cruel of Austen's female villains, can be perspective switched. Her life is about being useful to the Bertram family so she can feel important because her married status/wealth is lower than she wished. As she must always be deferential towards the Bertrams, she takes out her negative emotions on those below her, the servants and Fanny, while also showing off how good she is at "managing" those people. (And yes, she is your childhood bully)

We often hear her perspective and she clearly sees herself as a useful part of the family and a defender of Sir Thomas's wealth. She thinks she's a good person! Which is also an important point: most people doing wrong do not believe that they are doing wrong. That is what really makes a villain scary. Mrs. Norris thinks she's helping Fanny in a very twisted way by teaching Fanny her station in life. If you asked her, she'd give you a self-justified answer and she'd probably actually believe it.

Another way to do a good villain is to just make a person very selfish. Henry Crawford doesn't sit around all day laughing about how much pain he causes women, he doesn't think about it. He only thinks about the fun of flirting for himself, not the harm to others. The glimpses we get into her perspective are not cruel at all. It's the same with Willougby, he thinks only of his own pleasure and tries very hard to ignore that he has crushed Marianne and destroyed Eliza Williams. When he is forced to accept that people were hurt, he blames everyone but himself.

Wickham thinks that he's a victim, Caroline Bingley is ambitious and doesn't care who she steps on to get to the top, Mr. Elton is insulted that Emma could even dream he's a match with Harriet but he can't touch Emma so he punches down at Harriet. They all make sense, they all probably believe that their actions are justified.

Also, imagine taking the heroine/hero right out of the story, would the villain still act the same way? If Anne didn't exist, Mr. Elliot would still try to bring himself into the Elliot family because he was afraid of losing the title. If Elizabeth didn't exist, Wickham would have had another favourite in Meryton. If Fanny didn't exist, Mrs. Norris would have found some other puppy to kick. The villains don't just appear for the plot of the main characters, they have their own reasons for moving around and messing shit up.

Lastly, explaining but not excusing (though unfortunately some people will excuse anyway but that's not your fault). Mary Crawford is mercenary and doesn't seem to believe that love is even a real thing. It's pointed out several times in the novel that her defects have to do with being raised in an immoral environment and a broken home. She was taught by her aunt to marry for wealth and disregard love. Austen doesn't excuse Mary, she doesn't give her a happy ending, but she does explain how she came to be. She's not just greedy, she has been taught that wealth is the best recipe for happiness. As an adult now, it is her responsibility to question that maxim or remain a villain.

Austen wrote amazing morally grey characters and "villains" (a term I used a little liberally here, some of them probably only count as antagonists, not full blown villains). I love how real and human she made her characters, it's something I aspire to myself!

Linking my Caroline rant because it's related, people remove her motives so often and flatten her into a "bitches be crazy".

#jane austen #villains #avoiding “bitches be crazy”#Lucy steele #mrs. norris #mansfield park #sense and sensibility #henry crawford #mary crawford

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javierpena-inatacvest · 3 months

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Lunch

Summary: Javi's rough start to the work week is turned around when he finds a surprise from his daughters in his lunch

Word Count: 3.1K (oops)

Paring: Dad!Javier Peña x Wife!reader (no use of y/n, reader's nickname is Osita)

Warnings: Literally nothing but sweet, sickening fluff, Javi being so in love with his family, Javi being the ultimate girl dad, a lot of glitter (?)

A/N: Our favorite family is back! I am a firm believer that Girl Dad!Javi keeps every single piece of artwork his daughters give to him and has a wall at his office dedicated to all of their drawings and crafts because he refuses to get rid of any of them 😭 I love them so much, they make me sick, your honor 🫡 unbeata bc that's just who I am, apologies in advance for the mistakes

Series Masterlist. Never Too Late Masterlist

4 hours into Monday and Javier Peña was already counting down the hours until Friday. It seemed like this week was going to have no problem giving Javi a swift kick in the ass back to reality after another blissful weekend with you and the girls, a grumpy frown falling upon his face, wishing he could rewind back just a few hours to when the biggest problems he was trying solved revolved around which book his daughters were picking out for bedtime, rather than strategy meetings on how to solve the better half of the southern drug trade still ranging in Mexico.

Rubbing his hands over his face and pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers, Javi let out a sigh, grumbling low in his chest before running his hands through the dark curls of his hair, praying that the closed door of his office was enough to give his co-workers at the Laredo Sheriff's Department enough of a clue to let him at least try to enjoy his lunch in silence.

Shuffling and stacking a few stray papers left out on his desk, Javi cleared a space for the brown paper sack he mindlessly pulled out of his work bag, plopping it in front of him without a second look. He shuffled through the pocket he knew he had an extra fork in somewhere, considering he was at the point of eating his lunch with nothing but his hands before venturing out to the common kitchen where the rest of his co-workers were, ready to disrupt the sacred silence and peace that was his lunch time.

“Of course I forgot a fucking fork…” Javi grumbled to himself, abandoning his search in his bag after a few minutes, letting out another disappointed huff, leaning back in his chair and staring up at the speckled tiles of the ceiling. Javi was just about to get up, bracing himself for the perilous journey for a plastic fork he was about to embark on, when the corner of the lunch bag perched on his desk caught his eye.

Was that… glitter?

As his gaze shifted down the rest of his bag, Javi’s impatient and bothered demeanor had quickly shifted, a soft smile growing between his cheeks, picking up the lunch sack that had very clearly been given a makeover by his daughters before disappearing into his work bag this morning.

What was once a plain brown paper bag had somehow been turned into a hodgepodge of arts and crafts- glitter, pink and purple hearts, several stickers from separate collections of puppies, Star Wars, and unicorns, doodles and drawings from each of the girls, and a stray Batman band-aid that Harper must have added, considering the 17 she had covered herself in last night for fun.

Quietly laughing to himself at his girl’s creation, Javi spent a few moments thoroughly examining all sides of the bag, his heart melting to read “Daddy’s Lunch- From Lucy, Elliot, Harper and Mommy” scribbled across the front.

Carefully, Javi opened the top of the crinkly brown paper, revealing a plethora of surprising goodies inside, the first being a tiny stuffed cow and a fruit-by-the-foot that he obviously had no recollection of packing for himself last night. Setting the things down on his desk, Javi shuffled through the next added layer, this one consisting of another fruit-by-the-foot and a half eaten granola bar, which one of the girls clearly had gotten into before his lunch had departed from home.

The last thing hiding lunch was a piece of paper that had been folded several times to fit inside the bag, Javi gently removing it with the rest of his surprise treasures. As he unfolded the now somewhat crumpled paper, the grin on his face began to grow wider and wider, seeing the colorful crayon creations doodled on the page. Before him, sat a paper with drawings of each of the girls done by themselves, perfectly embodying their tiny personalities. Lucy’s was neatly sketched and colored, and then outlined in a darker color to make the inside colors pop, Elliot’s had crazy scribbled hair and was holding a hockey stick in not one, but both hands, and Harpers was done in every color that the Crayola crayon box had to offer.

As if their adorable self-portraits weren’t enough to have him in a puddle, in the middle of their artwork was a drawing of Javi standing between them with the words “We love you Daddy!” etched in big, pink bubble letters above them.

Javi had been so enamored by the art his daughters had made him, taking in every stroke and scribble on the page, he hadn’t noticed the smaller note that had fallen to his desk, your neat and careful handwriting etched across the paper.

Jav,

3 little munchkins were very insistent on re-making Daddy’s lunch last night, and even more insistent on decorating your very boring brown bag. They told me that they were adding a few surprises to your lunch, so this is me apologizing in advance for any half eaten snacks or stuffed animals that may have ended up in there. I hope you have a great day, we all miss you lots and can’t wait to see you later.

Love you lots,

Osita

Even though it was nothing but a few words scribbled down on a piece of paper and a drawing similar to one he had seen a thousand times before, it never failed to surprise Javi how something so small really did mean everything to him.

Years ago, still working for the DEA, in the midst of chaos and corruption in Colombia, one of his former agents had always insisted on carrying his “lucky” drawing from his son in his back pocket on every mission he was sent on. Back then, the idea of carrying a colored, crumpled piece of paper in his jeans for good luck seemed like a somewhat ridiculous notion, but now, as Javi stared up at the bulletin board next to his desk, overflowing with drawings, paintings, and projects from his 3 daughters, he couldn’t imagine a world where he didn’t hold any gift from his girls so near and dear to his heart that he ever dared to let it go.

Overlapping his newest artwork over the most recent crafts given to him to hang in his office, Javi hung today’s drawing at the front and center of the board, your note nestled next to it, beaming with pride at the love and and joy at how full his heart felt from a few simple pieces of paper.

Admiring just a little longer before reaching over to the phone at the corner of his desk, Javi began to punch the familiar pattern of your home phone number on the receiver, patiently tapping his fingers as the line rang, the other hand grabbing his actual lunch food out of the flamboyantly decorated bag.

“Hello?”

“Hey baby, it’s me.”

“Hi. Is everything okay?” You questioned cautiously, somewhat surprised by his mid-day work call.

“No, everything is-” He paused, smiling back his lunch bag, “everything is great. I just had some time during lunch and wanted to see if the 3 stooges are around so I can say thank you for my lunch.”

“Oh God, I almost forgot that was last night’s surprise project. How bad was it? I was only there to supervise lunch bag decorating because they were adamant they were more than capable than packing extra snacks for you.” You snickered, Javi practically almost able to see the hysterical look plastering your face through the phone, laughing right along with you at the adorable gifts they had left behind for him.

“Well, I got…” Javi stopped, reaching back over in his pile of goodies, “two fruit-by-the-foots, a stuffed purple cow, and a half eaten granola bar that has Elliot written all over it.”

“Is that Daddy? Did he get our lunch?! Did he like it?!” A chorus of little voices squealed in the background.

“Why don’t you ask him yourself.” You snickered, the muffled and muted sounds of the phone being passed off to the girls rustling through the other end of the line as Javi nestled his phone between his ear and shoulder, beginning to open up his food as he waited for a response from his daughters.

“Hi Daddy!” The 3 shouted through the phone in unison.

“Hola, pollitas! (Hi, little chickens) Thank you so much for my lunch today!”

“Did you like the bag, Daddy? It was my idea to make it look pretty because the brown is so boring.” Lucy boasted, in her lovingly know-it-all tone, making sure her dad knew she was without a doubt, the ringleader of the lunchtime antics.

“I added the extra snacks!” Elliot chimed in, making sure her voice was well pronounced through the phone ensuring that Javi could her her contributions.

“I helped-ed too!” Harper interrupted, trying to butt in over her sisters.

“Well, Mommy helped a little bit too, but it was mostly us!”

“Was it a surprise, Daddy?”

“Best surprise I’ve had in a very long time. I already put your drawing up on my board so everyone can see your beautiful artwork. I think everyone at work is gonna start thinking I have professional artists that live in my house.” Javi’s cheeks were already sore from the goofy grin that was only getting wider every second he listened to his daughter’s sweet little voices on the phone, the girls erupting in a fit of giggles at his compliment. “Los amos mucho, morritas (I love you so much, kiddos).”

“Hey Boss, you gotta second, I-” Agent Carter half knocked, opening Javi’s office door, stopping in his tracks as he met Javi’s cheerful grin turned death glare upon his arrival, slowly retracting his steps while Javi let out a scornful sigh, holding his hand out to get Carter to at least let him wrap up before dealing with whatever bullshit was coming his way.

“Hey pollitas? Daddy has to get back to work, but I’ll see you in a little bit when I get home, okay? I love you so much. Can you pass the phone back to Mom?”

“Okay, bye Daddy! Mommy! Mommy, Daddy wants to say goodbye!”

“The gremlins said you wanted to say goodbye?” You laughed over the clatter of the phone being handed haphazardly back to you.

“Yeah baby, I gotta go back to work, but I just wanted to say I love you and thanks for helping them with lunch, it was really fucking cute. I’ll see you later, okay?”

“The cutest 3 stinkers that I’ve ever met. I love you too, Jav. Bye, babe.”

“Love you, bye.”

As the dial tone went silent, Javi hung up the phone, taking in a deep exhale, still holding his hand out at his co-worker to preemptively prevent whatever what stupid remark was about to come out of his mouth.

“I wasn’t gonna say anything!” Carter winced, holding up his hands in defense at Javi’s death glare, trying his best to hide the sly smirk spreading between his lips. “…. I just never really struck you for a rainbow glitter type of guy.”

“Fuck off, Carter. Give me 10 more minutes to try and eat my lunch in fucking peace.” Javi groaned, trying to shoo him back out the door he had barged in from.

“Okay, okay, message received! I will say…I do think the glitter really does capture your bright and sparkly personality though, the unicorn stickers are really a nice-”

“Carter…”

“Sorry, sorry, I’m leaving! “

As the door clicked shut, Javi let his annoyance slip back to content, letting the colorful sparkle of his lunch back serve as his beacon of hope for the rest of the work day, thankful for the extra piece of home he got to keep with him until he got to see his girls again.

“Hey, I’m home!” Javi’s familiar voice rang through the hallway, barely 3 steps through the front door before the girls were rushing through the house, barrelling towards their dad to attack him with the biggest bear hugs their little bodies could muster.

“Daddy!” They screeched, wrapping around every free inch of Javi’s body that they could reach, giggling as he crouched down to greet them, peppering them with ticklish kisses all over their faces.

“Hola, Pollitas! Oh, I missed you guys! Did you guys have a good day today?” Javi grinned, now letting the bags he was holding in his hands drop to the floor, collecting his daughters in his grasp, wrapping them up in the tightest hug he could manage through their excited squirms and wiggles.

“Yeah, we went to the park with Mommy and then we came home and played soccer and then ran through the sprinkler!” Lucy beamed, her sisters nodding in happy agreement, excited to tell their dad about today’s shenanigans while he was at work.

“I scored two goals on Mommy!” Elliot added, her face lighting up with pride at her accomplishment.

“No way! Nice stuff, Ellie Bellie!” Javi grinned, holding his hand out for a ferocious high-five from Elliot, pretending to shake his hand in pain at her strength, making the girls snicker at their dad’s overdramatics. “Hey, can you tell me where Momma is, I gotta go say hi to her too and then you can tell me all about the rest of your day, okay?”

“She’s in the kitchen making dinner!” Lucy replied, giggling as Javi pressed a long kiss into the top of her head, nestled between her messy hair.

“Mommy’s makin’ ‘pisgetti!” Harper cooed, Lucy and Elliot trying their best to keep from laughing at their youngest sister’s inability to pronounce spaghetti.

“Thanks, lindas (cuties). Why don’t you guys go clean up your stuff and then we can help Mom with the rest of dinner?”

“Okay!” The three agreed, dashing back through the house and disappearing down the hallways, Javi laughing to himself as he kicked off his shoes and picked up his bags, heading into the kitchen to find you at the stove, happily humming and swaying your hips to the radio playing in the background as you cooked, so wrapped up in what you were doing that you hadn’t realized your husband’s presence.

Quietly setting down his bags on the counter, Javi rested his hip against the stone ledge, arms crossed over his chest as he watched you work, wondering to himself if he would ever get over how even the simplest things like watching you make dinner made him fall more and more in love with you, the familiar warmth of home and you creeping through his cheeks in a soft smile.

“Hi, Momma.” He smirked, making you squeal in surprise as he snuck behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing a soft kiss into your shoulder, rocking you back and forth in his grasp. “I missed you guys today.”

“Hi, handsome. We missed you, too. The girls haven’t stopped asking when you were going to be home since you called at lunch time. They were so excited you liked your lunch. Sorry if it was a little obnoxious. I tried to tell ‘em to go easy on the glitter, so hopefully none ended up in your food.” You chuckled, shaking your head at the image of the finished lunch bag that had made its way to work with Javi this morning. You turned around to face Javi, his hands still resting on your hips as you draped your arms over his shoulders, pressing up on your tiptoes to let your lips meet his, his mouth lingering just a little longer than usual as you felt his smile growing amidst his kiss. “What was that for?” You blushed, butterflies swirling in your stomach as his lips gently pulled away from yours, his thumbs rubbing soft circles on your skin in the space where your t-shirt and shorts parted.

“I love you so much. You and the girls, I just- I’m just so thankful for all of you.” Javi grinned, the soft brown of his eyes sparkling in the kitchen light, looking you up and down as if in awe of the fact that you were the woman he got to hold in his grasp at the end of each day for the rest of his life.

“I love you too, you goof.”

Before your lips could meet again, the happy giggles of your girls flooded through the kitchen, their little pitters and patters of their feet tumbling the hallway to greet the both of you again. Peeking over Javi’s shoulder, you cocked your head in confusion at the plastic bag your girls were now rummaging through on the counter, wondering what Javi had been shopping for on his way home.

“What’s in the bag, Jav?”

“Well…” He paused, making his way over to the kitchen counter with the girls, picking up the bag and tipping it over, shaking its contents out in front of them, “I figured, since the munchkins did such a good job with today’s lunch bag-”

“STICKERS!”

“GLITTER PENS?!”

“PUFFY PAINT!”

The girls shrieked, picking up the various brightly colored craft items Javi had brought home with him, along with a pack of brown paper bags, making the reason for his pit stop abundantly clear, and making you smile even wider than you already were.

“...I figured, I still have 4 days of lunches left, and you guys did such a good job with my lunch today, that you could decorate the rest of my lunch bags for the week.”

“Really?!” The girls squealed, their faces lighting up in excitement.

“Really, really.” Javi beamed, reaching his arms around the girls to pick them up, the 3 laughing and squirming in pure joy, your heart bursting at the seams watching just how much Javi loved his little girls and the silliest, smallest things he would do just to make them smile.

“Mommy, can we start right now!? Please, please, pleaseeeeee?” Lucy begged, Elliot and Harper joining in with their silent plea of sweet puppy eyes.

“Let’s help Mommy with dinner and then we can-”

“It’s okay, I think spaghetti can wait a little longer.”

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