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#Hydra🌟blogs
hydralostinherwords · 1 month
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"If the moon smiled, she would resemble you. You leave the same impression. Of something beautiful, but annihilating. Both of you are great light borrowers."
-Slyvia Plath
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cloudcountry · 1 year
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♡ AUBURN'S MUTUALS !! (there's more of you than i thought HELP)
@tinyletterz / 🍙 — my friend since forever ago, genuinely one of the kindest people i have ever met. she's so cute and she writes beautifully!!!! i highly HIGHLY recommend her flower language series GFGRGRGRGRFRFR
@identity-theft-101 / 🪓 — bonded over mushroom stayed for the eels tbh!! chaos incarnate BUT he has a cute bird named asa that said she loves me so i'm winning
@names-are-dumb / 🐚 — i'm so glad i got to introduce them to twisted wonderland. i am reliving my own experience through him rn. IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE OCTAVINELLE GRAHHH!!!!! one month later and we're married he's my husband and my angelfish that i write cringe ass sonnets too and i adore him <33 muah muah
@merotwst / 🧶 — LITERALLY SO SWEET OMG. she's so warm and welcoming its no wonder people just gravitate to her :C i adore her tbh she made me feel so welcomed even though i'm still scared of most twst writers LMAO
@shkrmpp / 🦐 — one of my first moots!!! personally i really love their hair dye headcanons GRAH they're so cute BUT!! they also draw C:< AND ITS A CUTE STYLE. plus their blog always looks MUAH
@siren-serenity / 🌙 — YOU'RE EVIL I STILL THINK ABOUT "i need you" WHY DID YOU WRITE THAT /lh no but actually you're so good at writing angst that rips my heart out like. if i want to sob i'm going for your azul angst (ITS A GOOD THING PROMISE)
@siphoklansan / ☔ — BEAUTIFUL ART. STUNNING. i love love love how much detail she puts into her pieces (yes i am thinking abt the floyd piece for the lipstick challenge ITS SO CUTE) AND SHE DREW STUFF BASED ON THE SONG HEART ATTACK AND I THINK ABOUT IT EVERY DAY.
@fukashiin / 💌 — silly little goofy deuce rambles and omg the leech twins. I REREAD THE STARING THINGY SHE WROTE OVER AND OVER AZULLLL AZUL'S PART IS SO %@$!%##@%!$#$%@!$#%@$!#%!@%#$!@#$%
@ryuubff / 🪼 — omg there is literally so much i could say about them. my first obey me mutual. the first person who was alike "omg let's create solomon content together." i love talking to them sm and honestly they deserves the best because they're so kind and creative C: WAHHHH
@hisui-dreamer / 🌟 — SO SWEET. i know i'm saying a lot but i have so many mutuals that made me feel so welcomed and rinna was one of them. every single piece of work you'll find on that blog is brewing with emotions and gentle care I LOVE.,,.., I LOVE!!!!!!
@officialdaydreamer00 / 🌠 — ?!?!?!?! ALSO INCREDIBLY KIND AND SO SO CREATIVE!!!! they draw me things all the time and it literally melts my heart :((( i love lov love talking to them about octavinelle and they're super easy to connect with :(((
@the-v-lociraptor / 💙 — we literally just became moots a little bit ago BUT i find a lot of good fanart through her!! she reblogs a lot of cool stuff :D !!!!!
@ceruleancattail / 🔷 — I FORGOT TOW RITE SMTH HELP EM anyways <33 ceru writes some cute ass shit that makes me kick my feet and squeal (AND ALL THE AZUL CONTENT I HAVENT BINGED YET....UGH IM SO EXCITED)
@i-like-forgs / 💪 — appreciator of sand cats and draws a lot!! the creator of my wedding venue with azul and enabler of so many of my ramble i am clinging to his ankle as he drags me around
@valerie-leech / 💚 — we just started talking but they're part of the auburn azul wedding squad!! :D im excited to interact with them <3
@twst-beam / 🎉 — we also haven't talked a lot yet but i can't wait to get to know her better C: !!
@iseethatimicy / 💎 — a fellow azul kisser!! i finally found another one!! :D has an unholy amount of azul memes i do not know where they come from (probably pinterest) but they are Fascinating
@acornwinter / 💫 — sends random shit in my inbox because they started talking about their dreams once and i decided Yes!! and now they draw my ocs and its super cute and i love their little tiny ppl drawings C:
@totallymem3 / 🥀 — we just started talking but!! very sweet <33 her art style is just MMMMUAH CHEFS KISS!!!!!!!!! i love it. it reminds me of spring.
@z3llous / 🐸 — draws azul SOOOOO good i love lovelovlevoevloev his art!!! its so scrumptious i eat it all up for breakfast lunch dinner ON NOMNOM
@cecilebutcher / 🪩 — has a bunch of really cool ocs!!! igor my belobed /p they have such a creative mind and its a pleasure to listen to them ramble about the characters they created!!! :D
@ang33333333l / 🙏 — another azul kisser!! we haven't talked much but i can tell doll is a very sweet person <33
@axvwriter / 👻 — SHE HAS AZUL'S DORM UNIFORM AND IM SO JEALOUS. LITERALLY SO UNFAIR.
@soru-ya / 🍞 — THEY WROTE AROACE CONTENT FOR ME :((((( CRYING RN they're such a good writer please go check them out PLEASE im begging you
@rains-asleep / 🐝 — ANOTHE RGOOD WRITER WHAWHWAHWHAHWA <33333 we had such a deep conversation about caramel once it was enlightening.
@shinysparklesapphires / 🎀 — floods my inbox with precure stuff and now its next on my watch list. started the laura and azul siblings conspiracy :O !!!!!
@twistedchatterboxed / 🌊 — The jade kisser ever. we have a lot of mutual moots (hehe say that ten times fast) so i'm excited to get to know her better!! :D
@keii01 / 🍡 — she's so sweet i want to put her in my pocket and carry her around everywhere i go!! she draws a lot of cute stuff too (there is no such thing as too many ribbons <3)
@tsun0tar0u / 🐉 — showed me a genshin glitch once and i have never been the same. also i would die for kafka btw. normal about rollo btw. So Normal.
@non-binary-lil-shit / 🍄 — enables my marine bio and mycology rambling!! also i am very concerned for you C:
@queen-shiba / 🦁 — your profile theme is literally so pretty i am eating it right now (IDK I JUST LOVE ORANGE) also the leona blender post made me so confused but also i laughed really hard HELP
@vioisgoinginsane / 💜 — she likes some vampire game i think LMAO but the twst content? YUMMY. a writer once in a blue moon and apparently best known for the BITING ROOK HUNT post. GET IT!!!
@moonlit-midnight / 🌸 — hannah is such a good writer :(( WRITES PLATONIC FICS DID YOU HEAR THAT EVERYONE!!! PLATONIC FICS!!!!!!! they're all so adorable and make me want to curl up under a blanket with a mug of hot chocolate <3
@ryker-writes / 🦚 — asked about to deep sea and LET ME TELL YOU i got so excited about it and im still writing it hehe. ryker writes a lot of familial angst so its that your thing go for it!!
@datboredpencil / 💀♦️ — GORGEUYS ART ABSOLUTELY SCRUMPTIOUS YUMY UMY UM AN ENTIRE BUFFET!!!! theres a lot of idia x cater content too if thats youre thing!!! :D
@twistwonderlanddevotee / 🪷 — we havent talked a lot but im still happy to have you here!! :D
@beeirdos-buzzing-bogaloo / 🐥 — apparently very normal about sebek. the Most normal. we havent talked a lot but hes silly :D
@dove-da-birb / 🪿 — literally so funny. putting you in my pocket right now!! ALSO I LOVE YOUR BRAINROTTING HELP
@loser-jpg / 😬 — YOUR BEWILDERMENT AT MY DASH SPAMMING WAS REALLY FUNNY i hope you get used to it </3
@ashipiko / 🌺 — THE #1 ACE KISSER EVER???? her art is so munchy and yummy i want to eat it :(( HER STYLE IS SO CUTE SRSLY IF YOU HAVENT SEEN HER ART YET PLEASE CHECK IT OUT
@shyhaya / you should pick an emoji!! — wrote the most fantastic delicious delightful heart wrenching thing for azul and tagged ME in it :(((( AAAAAA IM SO SORRY I DIDNT SEE IT SOONER. IF YOU EVER WRITE FOR AZUL AGAIN PLEASE TAG ME I'D LOVE TO SEE IT.
@musicalhistorical / 👹 — omg hi quotev person you've been putting up w my bullshit since forever ITS SO FUNNY TO SEE YOU HERE LMAO
@thehollowwriter / 🎶 — ITS LITERALLY A CRIME I HAVENT FOUND YORU WRITING SOONER??? WHY HAVENT I SEEN IT??? IM GOING TO BINGE YOUR AZUL FICS RIGHT NOW EVERYONE SHUT UP I AM SHAKING YOU AROUND QUINN
♡ AUBURN'S ANONS!!
magical girl anon
seahorse anon
❤️ anon
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rlxtechoff · 2 days
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etes-secrecy-post · 1 year
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Hi, before I explain my post, I want to say something important.
• What you see my blog has become a major overhaul. And despite the changes, I decided that my 2nd account will be now my artwork blog with a secret twist.
⚠️NEW RULE! (W/ BIGGER TEXT!)⚠️
⚠️ SO PLEASE DO NOT SHARE MY 2nd ACCOUNT TO EVERYONE! THIS SECRECY BLOG OF MINE IS FOR CLOSES FRIENDS ONLY!⚠️
• AND FOR MY CLOSES FRIENDS, DON’T REBLOG IT. INSTEAD, JUST COPY MY LINK AND PASTE IT ON YOUR TUMBLR POST! JUST BE SURE THE IMAGE WILL BE REMOVED AND THE ONLY LEFT WAS THE TEXT.
⚠️ SHARING LINKS, LIKE POSTS, REBLOG POSTS, STEALING MY SNAPSHOT PHOTOS/RECORDED VIDEOS/ARTWORKS (a.k.a. ART THIEVES) OR PLAGIARIZING FROM UNKNOWN TUMBLR STRANGERS WILL IMMEDIATELY BE BLOCKED, RIGHT AWAY!⚠️
😡 WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT EVER LIKED & REBLOG MY SECRET POST! THIS IS FOR MY SECRET FRIENDS ONLY, NOT YOU! 😡
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Okay? Capiche? Make sense? Good, now back to the post…↓
My GTA V Online: Festivity Holidays 2022 - Snowmen Collectibles (Part 5 - Final) [Dec 24th, 2022]
HO! HO! HO! Hello, it’s me! And welcome back to another GTA V Online moment, the Festivity Holidays 2022 edition! 😄🎄❄️
Here’s final part (Part 5) series of my “Snowmen Collectibles” experience. ☃️✋
If you haven’t seen my Part 4, then please [CLICK ME!]. (and also these: Part 1 → [CLICK ME!], Part 2 → [CLICK ME!], Part 3 → [CLICK ME!])
• Finally, we're down to 5 snowmen left before I unlock something. Once again, I'm using different kinds of weapons from my inventory, as well as other vehicles (mainly weaponized both land & air). 🚗✈️🔫💥
• So again, what did I get after this? An awesome-looking snowman outfit! And I looked good wearing it! ☃️ 👕👖🧤🧣🎩😁 (Plus, an extra GTA$ cash, which is nice for us! 💵🙂🤌)
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1st to 3rd Snapshot Image(s): ↑
BTW: I took some picture on that last snowman (location: Chiliad Mountain State Wilderness, Blaine County, S.A.) before I ended up with my Hydra plane's dual cannons (which is far better than a boring mounted machine guns on any attack planes/choppers). So, here are my last three snapmatic photos. 🖼️📲😁☃️
Overall:
• Is collecting snowmen worth it? Well, yeah. Better than the wasted time collecting 200 (FREAKING) Halloween Jack-O-Lanterns this year. 🙂👍 But, mind you, collecting Jack-O-Lanterns was fun & experience, but still... I think collecting 25 snowmen in GTA V Online was fun, better, and not a wasted playtime. Here's hoping that this limited trope will be coming in the next year's holiday. 😊❄️
Well, that’s all for now & 🎄🌟 Happy holidays! 🎁🎅
And If you want to see my previous car prize, and more, then please → [CLICK ME!]. 😉
(Where do all the links go you may ask? I made a post about all GTA V Online-related links. This will prevent error save drafts, in my future post. Plus, I'm always updating my link post.)
Tagged: @bryan360, @carmenramcat, @leapant
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wkemeup · 5 years
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🌟 updated: Feb 6 2023
✨ an update on this blog
+ fics are ordered oldest to newest in each category  » supernatural masterlist ⇢ like my work? check out my ko-fi
✶ smut ❀ over 3k notes ➴ over 5k notes ❆ over 10k notes ✪ kas’ favorites
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Series
The Witness (Master list) ✶ ❀ Owner of a bar full of criminals, maybe you shouldn’t be surprised when you’re the sole witness to a hydra hit. Detective!Bucky AU
Guiding Light (Master list) ✶ ✪ ➴ It was supposed to be a simple mission. Get the intel and go home. Until everything goes wrong and you’re taken captive by Hydra and Bucky can’t breathe without you. Not until he brings you home. If he even can.
I’m With You (Master list)  When two strangers meet on a layover in the Charlotte Airport, they are sent on a whirlwind weekend filled with cancelled flights, an ex-boyfriend’s wedding, and a confrontational graduation. Modern AU
By Any Other Name (Master list) ✶ ✪ ❀ When Agent Barnes is assigned undercover within Hydra, he finds himself drawn to the woman who doesn’t seem to belong in this world of violence, the wife to the head of Hydra… you. FBI!Bucky AU
Sunrise (Master list) ✶ ❀ After an explosion takes his arm and his only sense of belonging, Bucky is content to live out the rest of his days in the hollow comfort of the dark. This is, until Sam drags him down to the local VA and he meets you. Modern AU
Delicate Edges (Master list) ✶ ❀ Trapped under a mountain of debt to the Hydra club, it’s only in moments when Bucky Barnes walks into your shop that you can forget the cruelty of the biker clubs of this town. But a war is brewing. And Bucky will stop at nothing to keep you safe. Biker AU
Sky Full of Song (Master list) ✶ Despite the bitter resentment of the crew, you found a home on Captain Barnes’ ship. But when course is plotted for a legendary island, the secret that has kept you alive for years is threatened to be revealed. Pirate/Siren AU
Two-Parts
Brooklyn ✶ & Moscow ✶  Two moments in time. One where control is rejected, another where it's craved.
Play Pretend ❆ ✶ & Part II ➴ ✶ When Bucky is injected with a substance that leaves him desperate for release, you offer your help. But once that line is crossed, Bucky's not sure he can ever go back. (sex pollen)
Flight Risk ❀ & No Control Bucky becomes a flight risk after a failed mission and is put in lockup under Steve’s orders. You camp outside the door to his cell so he knows he isn’t alone.
Graveyard ➴ ✪ & Sacrifice Your gift of healing comes at a heavy price. When Bucky asks you to do the impossible, he’ll discover why your gift is called a sacrifice, too.
One-Shots
Soldat ➴ The winter soldier is triggered and nearly kills you. Bucky doesn’t know how to let go of the guilt. Not without your help. 
Drunk on You ❀ A drunken kiss doesn’t mean anything, right?
The Safest Place in New York A stranger comes to your rescue when you find yourself held at knifepoint, alone in an alleyway, by a man demanding your money 
The Bad Days ✶ You and Bucky weren’t supposed to be together, not according to the cruel voice in the back of your mind or the agents you overhear mocking your relationship
Fireworks Bucky Barnes doesn’t do crowds. He certainly doesn’t do fireworks. But he’d follow you just about anywhere. 
Lavender  ➴ ✪ Not every nightmare is the same and Bucky doesn’t always wake up as the man you know. 
Feel Again ❀ Captivated by the ‘frequent flyer in the ED’, Bucky can’t help but fall for Y/n, relishing every moment he can spend with her. Until, he learns the real reason behind her injuries. Doctor!Bucky AU
Obsession ➴ ✪ Targeted after your complicated relationship with Bucky ends up on every news channel in the city, your stalker takes things into his own hands to ensure that you belong to him, and him alone.
A New Start  Woken from a nightmare plagued with memories from his time in Hydra, Bucky finds himself standing at a mirror at 3am holding a pair of scissors, determined to cut away the strongest connection he has left to that time. His hair. 
In the Embers  Bucky finds his burdens weigh a little less when he’s with you
Cold, Cold Water ✶ While on a stakeout in the heart of Russia, Bucky learns that touch can bring something more than pain and he will willingly give himself over to the ice if it means keeping you alive.
The Other Side of the Door Bucky would do anything to keep you safe. Even if it meant sacrificing himself. Even if it took him to the bottom of the ocean.
Operation Mistletoe  Mistletoe starts appearing around the compound and Bucky Barnes is responsible. 
A Twice Broken Man ✶ Knowing what will happen if Hydra ever captures him again, Bucky asks the impossible of you. 
Going Backwards  Bucky struggles to let go of his past and you’re there to help ease him back to the light
Double Blind ❀ Set up on what might be the worst blind date you’d ever been on, you find yourself captivated by the mysterious bartender instead
Little Lion Man ➴ ✪ Sent on an assignment back to 1943, you encounter a drastically different version of the man you know
Take My Hand (Take My Whole Life, Too)  Bucky waits at the end of the aisle for the love of his life (heavily inspired by that scene in Crazy Rich Asians) 
Heal Me, Baby ❀ Bucky Barnes can’t seem to keep away from your med tent no matter how many times you fix him up
Honey and Chamomile Four cups of tea, four distinct moments in time, and each pulls you in closer beyond the walls surrounding Bucky’s heart
Sleeping With a Friend ✶ ❀ You wake up in Bucky’s bed after a night you’re certain will only break your heart. 
Crawl Home to Her  Stranded without coms, alone, and bleeding out in the middle of a Russian snow storm, Bucky is content to let nature take its course. Only you won’t seem to let him go. 
Back to Bourbon Street ❀ When you’re badly injured on a mission, Bucky works desperately to keep you alive. Only, it might not be enough. 
Eclipse  When a mission leaves you empty and broken, Bucky is determined to heal the wounds that linger deeper than the cuts on the surface. 
The Only Kindness ✪ In the early days of Bucky’s captivity, the only comfort he knows is the kindhearted doctor assigned to mend his wounds. At least when he’s with her, he knows he isn’t alone.
The Offer Zemo offers to sell the Winter Soldier in exchange for information. Based on the Madripoor scene in TFATWS and Zemo’s suggestion of “he will do anything you want.”
Suburbia ❀ Posing as husband and wife, you and Bucky infiltrate a suburban neighborhood in search of a Hydra hacker. Perhaps if he hadn’t broken your heart, the act of pretending wouldn’t hurt so much.
Purgatory ➴ While on a mission, Bucky becomes dissociated into the Winter Soldier. But instead of becoming a threat, his instinct is to protect.
Behind the Storm On a mission, you’re hit with a spell that takes away your ability to see. Bucky does what he can to make you feel safe.
Understudy ❀ Bucky knew after he’d ended things, you’d eventually move on. But when he’s confronted with the reality of it, he’s certain it will tear him apart
In Shades of Purple While on a mission, you uncover footage of the Winter Soldier Project, exposing just how much torture Bucky had endured.
Canyons and Valleys When Bucky is forced to put his scars on display, he’s certain you’ll take one look at him and run.
Dreamscape ✪ When Bucky falls under the spell of a Djinn, the line between fantasy and reality blurs. In order to survive, he must fight his way back to the real world - even if it costs him everything he’s ever wanted.
Waiting Waiting Waiting When Bucky’s recklessness in the field starts to add up in bruises on his body, you take it upon yourself to keep him safe - since he clearly won’t do it himself.
Ease My Mind When Bucky is drugged into a coma plagued with nightmares and his heart rate has risen to dangerous levels within his sleep, you must enter his mind to wake him; enter… his nightmares.
After The morning after confessions and years of self-imposed unrequited love, you and Bucky are finally together. Happy. Until a woman from Bucky’s past shows up and threatens everything. 
In Every Lifetime ➴ When Bucky’s first love from the 1940′s is found alive in cyro, he begins to question whether you’d turn from him in fear or disgust. 
The Bet ❀ The agents at SHIELD have not taken well to Bucky’s pardon. When he’s injured on a mission under suspicious circumstances, you take matters into your own hands.  
The Casket When a mission goes wrong, you’re helpless but to watch as Bucky is forced into the object of his nightmares – Hydra’s cryochamber.  
Drabbles
You Shook Me All Night Long
Bad Day Comfort
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Two-Parts
Start Again ✶ & Part II ✶ A chemical spill, uncontrollable desires rushed to the surface, an unbridled need, and the consequences in the aftermath (sex pollen)
One-Shots
Gorgeous Steve Rogers is really pretty and it’s hard to think straight when you look at his face; Based on the song Gorgeous by Taylor Swift
The Garden Months after you disappeared on a mission and are presumed dead, Steve is still struggling to hold himself together. But when he confronts a dangerous target on a mission in Lisbon, Steve’s world is turned upside down. 
I Am Not My Own Following the Battle of New York, Steve begins to lose himself to the mantle of Captain America. Torn with guilt over the loss of his friend and struggling in a time that does not belong to him, Steve takes comfort in his only solace. 
Drabbles
Night Terrors
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4k Celebration Writing Challenge Masterlist
9K Open Ended Writing Challenge Masterlist
Drabble Night July 2021
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hydralostinherwords · 1 month
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I hate the clean girl aesthetic
Yes there it is. I hate it so much so much I cannot stand seeing teenage girls be fooled by "adults" who all have their perfect side of life showing.
I want my hair to be messy, I don't want perfect curls. I want messy curls with flowers in. I don't want to wear natural makeup. I want bold eyeliner, flowers on my eyelids, glitter all over. I don't want natural highlights in my hair. I want to light blue with dark blue roots. I don't want to dress maturely. I want to wear that strawberry top withy my burgundy tights and a white skirt. I want bows in my hair, not a slicked look.
I don't want "clean girl" aesthetic I want "messy witch" aesthetic
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hydralostinherwords · 1 month
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Yalnızlığımı sayfalara doldurdum
Kaçıyordum her şeyden Yalnızlığımdan, İsteklerimden, Hayalleriminden, Eleştirilerden, Bakışlarından, En çokta o acı gerçeklerden; Hayatımı her gün zehreden, Beni mutsuzluk dolu bir geleceğe iten, Hayallerimin karşısında nutkunun tutulduğu, Bunaltıcı sorularımın üzücü cevaplarını benliğinde saklayan o gerçekler
Neden hayallerim yetmedi? Niçin uzaklaşamadım onlardan? Sadece uzaklaşıp mutlu olmak istedim Kabullendim de, denedim Acısa da denedim Ama… her kabullenişim sadece yastığımın duyduğu hıkçırıklarla bitti
-Hydra Lowe
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hydralostinherwords · 1 month
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Franz Kafka
I have heard a new saying "Go read some Kafka" shockingly in a bad way. It was said to someone after their comment on reading which is word to word "It is meaningless" said so unapologetically during a heated argument about "The Sorrows of Young Werther" I was about to dismiss and persisting on proving my point. My friend ,whom I known for over four years, says "Go read some Kafka, you can only understand him"
Hydra: "Why Kafka?" Lynx: "Because he is lost; in life, philosophy, feelings. He always have been lost, therefore many people think he is overrated and easy to understand" Hydra: "That is why lost people read him. You have the same ideas, you speak the same words. You know if you hadn't read Kafka you wouldn't be making these comments. He is lost therefore hard to understand if you're not." Lynx: "And? My points stands." Hydra: "Yes and No, because he is lost yes but he is nowhere easy to understand. If you can understand what he means so easily then why did we argue Gregor for hours? I explained to you why it was a cockroach, why Letters to Milena was a sickening love story, never to be romanticized. If you still have the same opinion then you should reconsider the at he never wanted to publish them. He wanted Max Brod to burn them. He burned an estimated 90 percent of his total work due to his persistent struggles with self-doubt. So if anyone says he is lost it shouldn't be you, you read all of his works. Also what is bad with being lost? Who knows anything these days? Almost no one does. We are the unforgotten kids of history, missed feelings and unspoken words, the fast changes in our lives. We are all lost. Yes for people who lived before us Kafka might've been easy to understand but not anymore. He unwontedly holds up a mirror from the past with his words that he wanted to keep to himself." Lynx: "He really is lost, thank you for accepting it. Also you're right he is not easy to understand. I don't know why I said that?" Hydra: "Because you understand him easily. You read so much of his works it became your second language. Also thank you for accepting that he is not easy to read"
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hydralostinherwords · 1 month
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Where are you?
You were everywhere All over my mind, soul and heart.
The shining sky, The warmth of my coffee, The melody of the ocean, The blankets whom used comfort me, It all feels foreign.
Even my words, making me a fool. My pen falling from my hands, It was not the moon, sky, ocean or even my books; my legacy. It was you, my muse.
In the radiating gleam of the moon, There you stand breathtakingly. Occupying my mind, Blurring my thoughts.
-Hydra Lowe
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hydralostinherwords · 28 days
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Unfair
There is a sharp edge between healing patients when it comes to mental health and physical health. If you're recovering from a physical illness people will go easy on you, try to comfort you, even when it comes to strangers they will see you, understand your pain and they will try to be there for you. Only because they can see your scars. If you are recovering from a mental illness almost no one will understand you or be there for you. They will question you, doubt and blame you because it's your fault for thinking that way, why didn't you try to talk to someone? Why didn't you give yourself time? Why don't you just stop thinking that way? They will only ask questions and even call you names because it's not true Sometimes even the people closest to you will judge you and ask god what did they do wrong to have a "abnormal child" Because your scars are not on the surface
It is coming from someone who lived both of those hells. I stayed in a hospital for three months. When my peers were going to school, I was in bed talking to nurses or walking down the lifeless hallways. When I started school again I never once felt left out.
But when it was my mental health no one bat an eye, including my most loved ones, no one cared.
Is it fair? No, but no one cares.
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hydralostinherwords · 1 month
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Yalnızlık
Çok yalnızım, mutsuzum
Göründüğüm gibi değilim aslında
Karanlıklarda kaybolmuşum
Bir ışık arıyorum, bir umut arıyorum uzun zamandır
Aradıkça batıyorum karanlık kuyulara
Kimse duymuyor çığlıklarımı
Duyan aldırış etmiyor çekip kurtarmak istemiyor
Bense insanların bu ilgisizliği karşısında ilgiye susamışım
Ümidimi yitirmişim
Biliyorum bir gün dayanamayacak küçük kalbim
Arkamı dönüp inandığım ve güvendiğim her şeye
Veda edeceğim.
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hydralostinherwords · 1 month
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I don't know how to feel
Trigger Warning Suicide
I am writing a slasher book and currently working on the squeal. One of my close friends pushed me to writing again so I added another character, she dies. Yes but she is not a place holder, she talks to the main character in such a way "just like my friend" the main character keeps on fighting and trying to find the killer.
After I wrote it, I immediately sent it to my friend only to receive a long message from her mother telling me she killed herself. I didn't know what to say as I received the picture of her letter. I am not going to add it since it is personal but I don't know what to do.
I can't cry, I can't even tear up or smile at our memories. I look at the books we argued about and how much we've grown together.
I do not know how to feel or how to write since she was my main reason after a depressing break.
I can't take a break because I know she will haunt me.
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