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biasbuck · 2 days

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BiAsBuck’s ficrec Fridays

Happy Friday everyone! This is my first 911 ficrec post (I'm usually over here if ill-fated hunters and their angel husbands are your jam) but I've been DEEP in the Evan Buckley hyperfixation throughout April so come with me for what I've been reading!

This is a combination of Buddie and Bucktommy and buckeddietommy (aka buckeddie and meatballs, heh!)

26 April 2024

tell me about despair by @hattalove was the first fic I read, specifically because I wanted to get inside Eddie's head more as on first viewing I found him a little trickier to grasp...but yeah...that might just be because I am he and he am I. This fic was an wonderful way in to understanding his inner workings. His queer awakening and the associated traumas he has to work through were handled with such care, and the character voices were just gorgeous. "Eddie's not entirely sure he believes in getting help, at least not for himself. There's only so much healing to be had for a body torn apart by bullets, for a mind that's only half there, for a man who's been leaving pieces of himself behind all his life with nothing to take their place. Except, as it turns out, falling apart happens in increments, and healing does, too"

evan, elated and euphoric by @gayhoediaz 16500 words of bucktommy first time smut anyone?? "Buck likes it - not just being with Tommy, being with a man - that part is obvious, but he… likes that he likes it. He loves that he likes it. Truthfully, he doesn’t think that he has ever felt more at home in his own body than he does in this very moment." This is such a delightful exploration (through copious amounts of sizzling sex) in Buck feeling fully present and fully himself in his sexuality, and it's gloriously decadent as well as sweet and sexy as hell. I loved this characterisation of Tommy.

Both Bermuda and Golden (Lost but Doing Just Fine) by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels all hail the threesome fics! In which the correct answer is always - Both? Both is good! This one is gloriously kinky and sexy and I love the 'guiding hand' aspect and how both Buck and Eddie allow themselves to be led. "It's not that Buck's not happy with Eddie. It's just that being with Tommy taught him things about himself, things he wants, and he doesn't quite know how to ask Eddie for those things. He shouldn't have underestimated how well Eddie knows him, or how willing Tommy is to lend a helping, instructional hand."

Heart of Flowers / Heart of Gold by @elvensorceress is a gorgeously written allegorical tale with PEAK Buddie and Christopher family vibes set between S4&5. "In the aftermath of the sniper attack, Buck has to keep going without his partner while sorting through the layers of everything they are to each other, while Eddie fights for his life and through all his internalized trauma and regret for everything they never managed to say. aka After nearly losing each other, Buck and Eddie find their way to each other and their family’s happily ever after." My absolute favourite thing about this fic is the thread with the bedtime story that Christopher and Buck have created together. Just beautiful.

five ways to fall in love with the man in the mirror by @buckttommy is a bucktommy fic but crucially a Buck absolutely revelling in the poetry of getting to know your own identity. It also crucially gives me Jay Hulme vibes (iykyk) "Buck meets God at a gay club. He finds him in an oil-slick puddle on a damp night, neon lights reflecting off the kaleidoscopic liquid in the parking lot. or; Evan Buckley falls in love with himself."

and i know how i feel by @middyblue is a very sweet Buck coming out to Bobby fic, written I believe between 7x04 and 7x05. ALL the Dad!Bobby feels. "Buck stares off over the hills of Los Angeles, hugging his knees. He half wants to take out his phone and start playing Nine Simone (it’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me, and I’m feeling - ) and half can’t bear to drown out the thin peace of bird calls in the quiet blue of the morning. Footsteps scrape on gravel behind him and he turns, half-expecting another hiker, but it’s Bobby, carrying a coffee tray with two to-go cups and a paper bag."

Short and sweet fic:

For All Occasions by @storybelle FIREFAM FEELS! In which of course, as per tradition, Hen makes the 118 a cake. I neeeeeed Hen and Buck queer camaraderie show, I need it, and just like this!

Wedding Bell Blues by @klutzygirl - much needed supportive parents actually fic! "Margaret and Phillip meet their son's new boyfriend when they arrive in town for Maddie's wedding." it doesn't go how Buck would expect, in the best way.

PS - if you have any henren authors/fic recs I should check out PLEASE let me know! I'm new and I love them!

#biasbuck recs #911 fic #911 ficrec #911 abc #911 on abc #buddie #bucktommy #kinley #tevan #evan buck buckley #eddie diaz #tommy kinard

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remuswriting · 2 days

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MEET ME IN THE POURING RAIN; MIYA ATSUMU

Y/N decides to walk home, even though it's pouring. Atsumu and his truck save the day.

WORD COUNT: 1,950 words

TAGS: Feelings Realization; Friends to Lovers; Fluff; Post-Time Skip

NOTES: Do I write too much of Atsumu? I don't know and I don't care! Also, not beta-read. It's 2 AM as I post this so hopefully the amount of typos is not overwhelming

Read on AO3

The rain is relentless against the pavement and soaks Y/N down to the bone. The nice jacket his mother bought him for his birthday two years ago does nothing to keep him dry. It’s actually just weighing him down as the rest of his clothes stick to his body. He should find somewhere dry and wait for the rain to lighten up, but he just wants to be home already.

Y/N usually enjoys his walks home from his calculus lecture. Some days he listens to an audiobook or calls Atsumu to hear about what crazy things the MSBY Black Jackals have been up to. Although Atsumu may be annoying at times, he’s a phenomenal storyteller when he wants to be, and Y/N likes listening to stories after suffering through his three-hour calculus lecture. Atsumu also loves talking, so it works out well.

His phone buzzes inside his bag, signaling he’s gotten a text, but he refuses to pull it out. The rain will just ruin it, and he doesn’t have enough money to replace it. He imagines it’s Atsumu asking if Y/N is home yet or if he’s sound shelter to wait out the storm. Atsumu prefers calling over texting, says it’s easier to say what he needs to than type it out, but he waits until Y/N calls him because Y/N likes texting more.

His phone buzzes again in his bag—several more times, actually. There’s the possibility that it may not be Atsumu texting him. It could be Osamu, asking the same questions as Atsumu while also probably questioning him if he still has enough to eat since he meal preps for Y/N.

“It amazes me ya’ve survived this long,” Osamu said one day when staring into Y/N’s bare fridge. Two days later, he brought a myriad of containers of food, all labeled of what they were and smiley faces next to the messy kanji.

Y/N has always been thankful for the meals Osamu makes him, because he knows it does take time out of Osamu’s day, (also Osamu will not let him pay him for the food—was actually insulted when Y/N mentioned it) but he’s really thankful for those meals right now. All he wants to do is shower, put on some warm clothes, and heat up some food before watching the newest J-Drama he’s found on Netflix. The rain hasn’t put him in a cozy mood, but a mood that requires a cozy atmosphere to fix.

Lightning strikes across the sky, and Y/N really should find somewhere dry, but he’s so close to his apartment. There’s no point in stopping now. In roughly five minutes, he’ll be walking up the most likely flooded steps to his apartment. That’s what he tells himself when thunder shakes the ground beneath his feet.

For the first time in 10 minutes, a truck drives by him. Well, the truck actually slows down and matches his pace. It’s really his luck that he’s going to be killed in the pouring rain. It’s probably karma from not stopping. It’d really help if he could make out what the truck looks like, but it’s raining too hard to get a clear look. However, he faintly hears the truck window roll down slightly.

“What the hell do ya think you’re doin’?” Atsumu’s familiar voice yells over the rain. Relief crashes over Y/N because that means he’s not going to be kidnapped or killed.

“Walking home,” Y/N yells back so Atsumu can hear him, and he wonders how Atsumu knew it was him. The rain is coming down too hard for Y/N to make out the faded red truck Atsumu refuses to give up. It doesn’t matter that it’s quickly becoming a piece of shit with how terrible of a driver he is, he’s attached to the damn thing. “What are you doing?”

“Lookin’ for ya, obviously,” Atsumu says, and Y/N’s heart races a little. It must be because lightning makes an appearance once again, lighting up the gray sky. “Ya’ve not been answerin’ anyone’s texts or calls.”

Y/N rolls his eyes, even though he doubts Atsumu can see him. “I’m being rained on. Why would I get my phone out?”

“Why are ya lettin’ yerself get rained on?” Atsumu asks, as if that’s the real question. “I would’ve come and gotten ya if ya just texted me.”

It’s not a confession of anything, because Atsumu tells him that all the time. He tells Y/N how he doesn’t need to be so independent and can rely on him whenever he needs to. Atsumu is just like that, though. He’s so dedicated to the people and things he cares about, and really, Y/N is amazed he’s part of the small list of people Atsumu likes enough to consider his friends.

“It’s not that far of a walk,” Y/N says, and it thunders again. A sense of reality washes over him because if he stays out in the rain much longer, he’s going to end up sick. Being sick will make Atsumu fret over him by trying to take care of him while insulting him at the same time. It wouldn’t be such a terrible thought if Atsumu wasn’t so terrible at taking care of sick people. “Or at least not far enough that I thought to bother you.”

Atsumu stops the truck, and Y/N stops as well. He could just keep walking, but he doesn’t know how Atsumu will respond to that. Maybe driving up on the sidewalk to actually stop Y/N from walking away.

“You’re such an idiot,” Atsumu snaps, and Y/N flinches a little. “Get in the damn truck so I can take ya home.”

“My clothes are soaked,” Y/N says, and he wishes he could see Atsumu. It’s hard to fully know what Atsumu is thinking when he can’t see him.

“And? Get in the truck.”

“I’m going to get your truck all wet if I get in,” Y/N says, but he’s walking up to the door now.

“It’s already gettin’ all wet with the window bein’ down, so hurry your ass up,” Atsumu says, and Y/N grabs the door handle. His grip on it isn’t great because of how wet his hands are, but he manages to open it without issue.

Atsumu is soaked as well, which explains why he doesn’t care about Y/N’s clothes being wet. He really looks like he was nearly drowned, as if he was out in the rain for a while, but Y/N doubts he looks any better.

“Why are you soaked?” Y/N asks as the door closes. Atsumu’s hair is plastered against his head, but he still runs his fingers through it, and excess water runs down his wrist.

“I had to get out to my truck somehow,” Atsumu says, and the rain comes down harder, making the truck shake a little. “Don’t worry about me. Worry about yourself, cause if ya get sick, I ain’t takin’ care of ya.”

It’s unsaid, but they both know Atsumu will take care of him as he always does. Y/N does the same when Atsumu isn’t feeling well—physically and emotionally. They’re just there for each other in a way that doesn’t translate across the board. Because Osamu may meal prep for Y/N and Y/N may help him out in the restaurant sometimes, but they wouldn’t do the things Y/N and Atsumu do for each other. Y/N wouldn’t go over to Osamu’s house when he’s sick to take care of him, sleeping in the living room so he’s not alone for too long.

(Although, Atsumu does have Osamu. He doesn’t really need Y/N, but that’s never been talked about. Osamu just lets Y/N in and says he has to go check on his restaurant before leaving Y/N to care for Atsumu. Really, it’s a strange thing, but it’s somehow understood without saying anything.)

“Worry about yourself,” Y/N says as he rolls his eyes. “You’re more likely to get sick out of the two of us.”

“Am not!” Atsumu says as he starts driving toward Y/N’s apartment. “I’m an athlete, which means I have the strongest immune system ever.”

Y/N chuckles because Atsumu is the one who gets sick more often out of the two of them. “I’m pretty sure Sakusa-kun is the one with the strongest immune system.”

“We ain’t talkin’ bout Omi-kun,” Atsumu says, and his accent is coming out just a little more. It always does when they have these small, meaningless arguments. He’s always been one to get worked up over small things, even when he says he’s not. “We’re talkin’ bout ya and how you’re terrible when you’re sick.”

“I think you’re getting me confused with you,” Y/N says as he presses the back of his head against the headrest. A shiver runs up his spine, and he realizes Atsumu has the air on. “Why the fuck do you have the air on? Do you want us to get a cold?

Atsumu glares at him as he turns the air off. “Is it to yer likin’ now?”

Y/N hums. “Yes, thank you.”

His apartment appears in the window, and excitement rushes through him. All he can think about are the things that motivated him to even walk in the rain, and Atsumu is an added bonus. Atsumu can take a shower too since he has clothes at Y/N’s apartment, and they’ll watch that J-Drama and eat some food together.

Atsumu’s sudden silence has Y/N look over at him, and Atsumu’s gripping the steering wheel so tightly it’s concerning. Y/N just stares at him for a moment, trying to figure out what’s suddenly brought on this behavior. Atsumu has always been someone who just says what he’s thinking or feeling, and when he doesn’t, it still shows. He doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve; he wears it proudly on his chest for everyone to see. Y/N just catches on better than most.

“Do you want to come in? I still have meals Osamu-kun made,” Y/N says, and Atsumu’s grip on the steering wheel loosens.

“Really?” Atsumu asks, and he sounds like an excited child.

Y/N chuckles. “Yes, really.”

Atsumu’s smile is bright and warm as they pull into the parking lot. Y/N smiles with him, and the familiar warmth he associates with Atsumu blooms in his chest. When Atsumu looks at him, it only grows to burn a little. It’s when Atsumu unbuckles his seatbelt Y/N realizes that part of him would’ve been crushed if Atsumu had said no. He would’ve understood, but having Atsumu with him will improve his mood better than any J-Drama will.

They look each other in the eyes, and Y/N gently tilts his head a little. “You didn’t get soaked just running out to your truck, did you?”

Atsumu’s smile falters slightly, as if he’s been caught, and his cheeks turn a gentle pink. Y/N nearly laughs, but he holds it in, just like he holds in the urge to run his fingers through Atsumu’s soaked hair. The brassiness in it has Y/N making a mental note to buy Atsumu more purple shampoo. After a moment, Atsumu chuckles a little.

“No, I didn’t,” Atsumu confesses before unbuckling his seat belt. “I didn’t realize the math buildin’ was so big.”

Y/N actually laughs this time. “Yeah, but next time I’ll make it easier to find me.”

Atsumu’s blush only grows to cover his entire face. “Ya better.”

#haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu x reader #miya atsumu x reader #miya atsumu x male reader #haikyuu #atsumu x reader #atsumu x male reader

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sciderman · 12 hours

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ARE WE AFFIRMING YOUR GENDER?! IS THAT WHAT WE’RE DOING?!

Sci, first of all, I’m so sorry your dad said that listing your pronouns is embarrassing. It’s 2024. What’s embarrassing is being a parent who cares more about what other people think of them than what their child thinks of them. People don’t have to understand you, they don’t even have to agree with you, but if someone says they love you, the least they can do is make the attempt to show you they respect your identity as an individual person. I know this is particularly difficult for parents sometimes but it’s not impossible. I sincerely hope that someday your dad realizes how spectacular you are and how lucky he is to have the opportunity of knowing and loving someone as truly kind, funny, and generous as you are.

Second of all, LET’S GIVE ANOTHER SHOUT OUT TO THOSE PRONOUNS. Oooo I like the way you wear he/him. It’s loud, it’s rebellious, it’s confident, it’s authentic! It’s everything those angry white boys with podcasts WISH they were! You are entering your “boys will be boys” era and it’s covered in bright colors, zany patterns, sequins, and ATTITUDE.

I am so fucking proud of you for taking this big scary step into being your true self and laying it bare before the world. Just last night I was thinking about how one of the reasons I was so miserable in my 20s was because when I was around 21/22 I went back into the closet to make myself “more palatable” for the people around me. Less confusing for them. Less work for them. And I’ll never actually know what experiences I lost when I lost myself. I’ll never know what I could have done, the opportunities and stories and memories I missed out on because I was only living as half a person. I’m back on track now though, and the good news for you is: now that you’ve taken this step you never have to ask that question again.

I’ve gotta say, Sci, announcing your true pronouns is definitely one of the sexiest things you could ever do. And Wade agrees. <3

hooougghh bless you @nobutforrealthough - you're so cool and sexy and ough...

i feel so very exhausted in the head lately about identity things. i think a lot of people thought i was some kind of gender icon when really i'm just piecing things together as best as i can. i feel a little exhausted that people thought so much of me and i'm not delivering on it. (but i've felt that way all the time, all my life, from pretty much everybody.)

i guess it's difficult to do all this alone, without anyone in your corner. i think writing wade and peter, they sort of felt like friends to help me through it, because i don't really have anyone else out there to help me through and speak to me on my level. so – i kind of had to invent voices to give me courage. and it helps. but i worry that it's a little sad, too. sorry. i'm feeling very frank and bare this morning.

it's a lonely old world when you still haven't figured out where you fit in it. and maybe you're not meant to fit. but you kind of do need to fit, for your sanity. for your survival. so you contort and compromise and squeeze yourself into weird shapes and bug your head. and it's all so, so exhausting for me. and i think my body's finally telling me it's time to retire. my body is so, so tired...

#sci speaks #i want to be loved for me.#not for who i can pretend to be.#not for what i can “pull off”.#i want sad little lazy tired me to be treasured too. for being weak. for being lazy. for just wanting to sit around in my undies and cry.#tired of having to be a hero . for having to be an example . for having to put on a good show #ohhgh i'm so tired...#i love sad little lazy me. i love when i love sad little lazy me. sad little lazy me deserves to be loved #just as much as restless gender icon me #sighs. i wish you guys really Knew me. not just all of this text on the internet.

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annot8 · 2 days

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Top 20 RotE characters!

My final piece of ranking for this series!

There will be some spoilers in this!

20. Nettle

- If there’s one thing I love, it’s difficult women. Nettle is as harsh as her name suggests. I love young Nettle with her dream magic and how completely kind she is to Thick. And I love older Nettle, who doesn’t mind hurting Fitz’s feeling for Bee’s benefit. She is unforgiving and always strives to do what she thinks is best - even if she doesn’t always know what’s best.

19. Thymara

- Definitely my favourite Rain Wild character. She had my favourite POV in those books as well. I liked how her story paralleled Sintara’s, with her dragon features becoming more beautiful, getting her wings, and her determination to be her own woman. I didn’t love that she ended up with Tats and ended up having a kid with him, but again, it mirrored Sintara’s mating with Mercor.

18. Starling Birdsong

- are we seeing a theme? Starling is so great because she simply does not care if people like her personality. She’s beautiful, she’s talented, and she got her song. The way she destroyed Fitz in Golden Fool was a peak moment in this series. And something i love so much is that no matter how much Fitz complains about her or thinks she’s annoying, he can’t help but like her.

17. Chade Fallstar

- I hate him, I love him, he’s the worst, he’s the best. I’ve said this before - I have complicated feelings about Chade but regardless, they are strong feelings. Ngl, I misjudged his age and thought he was about 80 in the first book so when he made it to the last book?? Incredible. His death got me in a way that I really didn’t expect it to.

16. Dutiful Farseer

- My boy! He had some great development from the most fifteen year old boy ever, to a genuinely good king. I loved his dynamic with Fitz in Fool's Errand. It was really on sight with those two and it was entertaining the entire time.

15. Selden Vestrit

- I saw someone say once that Selden felt like a random npc who managed to get a nat20 on charisma. He's great in Ship of Destiny, and fantastic in the Rain Wild Chronicles. His bond with Chassim was unexpected but so so lovely.

14. Molly Chandler

- I understand why people don't like her. Her character gets in the way of Fitzloved. Soz guys, but I've seen too many female characters get hate because fans were rooting for a mlm ship. Don't get me wrong, its frustrating but Molly never inserts herself in Fitz's life. It the other way around. I think people don't like her less because of who she is and more because of what she represents. She's a simple life, and is the face of Fitz's delusion. But I love her. She's down to earth, she's rough around the edges, she's a simple gal who wants a simple life.

13. Etta

- Etta!!! From a Divvytown prostitute to Queen of the Pirate Isles??? Insane, incredible, showstopping. One thing that I absolutely love about her that I think is overlooked is that, despite how much Kennit was pushing for it and how much Wintrow was pining for her, it did not even cross her mind to get with this 15 year old boy. Kennit is all like 'teach the boys your… skills.' and she's like, ah yes, I will teach him how to use knives. Queen behaviour.

12. Paragon

- Everyone's favourite murderous boat! His dynamic with Amber is great, and his friendship with Brashen is really underrated! He goes from being a grumpy old man to a bratty little boy in seconds (hmmm maybe the similarities between he and Fitz go past the face). He's unpredictable and he will kill again!

11. Althea Vestrit

- I fell in love with her immediately. She's rude to Kyle and then spends the next two weeks sleeping on the floor so she can be closer to Vivacia. She had my heart from the get go. Her ending will always leave a bitter taste in my mouth but none of it is her fault. She starts off a little immature and really grows into a woman worthy of captaining her own ship.

10. Wintrow Haven

- Ship of Magic!Wintrow has my entire heart. He frustrates me to no end with how he treats Vivacia but his arc is insane. He's generally an honourable guy. He frees the slaves and aids in the overthrowing of his father. He becomes a competent sailor and always shows Etta kindness. And despite his corruption by Kennit, he retains his moral compass and grows to be a good guy. I choose to ignore him in Ship of Destiny (just like Robin Hobb oops-) because I don't know who that man is :)

9. Malta Vestrit

- Without a doubt the best Liveships character. She has some of the best development I've ever seen. She's really the Amy March of Bingtown. She's self-centred, annoying, and that girlllllll. I love her so much. She's so clever and achieves so much.

8. Verity Farseer

- MY KING! treated Fitz like a human being which, in this book, is a step up from how most people treat him - especially when he's a boy. He's always a friendly face, even when he's so bogged down by defending the entirety of the Six Duchies with no thanks. He loved very honestly and had great respect for people who deserved it. And in the end, he made the ultimate sacrifice for his people for his folk.

7. Bee Farseer

- She's just as much my daughter as she is Molly's, Fitz's, Nighteyes', and Beloved's. She won me over so quickly, and just when I thought I couldn't love her more, she started biting. I hope one day we see more of her!

6. LadyPatience

- You should have been mine???????? Such a fun, unapologetic character. She is so herself. I feel so seen by her constant, ever-changing hobbies and messy room. She and Lacey are the duo of the century.

5. Burrich

- When I read a book and I fancy a character, I tend to stay loyal to that character. I can love all of the characters, but I only love one. I took one look at Burrich and knew i'd found my man. His parenting skills were questionable at time, but he was doing what he thought was right. He gave up his life to raise Chivalry's son. He stepped up and took care of Molly with no expectations. He raised Nettle like she was his own. Just a solid, good man.

4. Nighteyes

- The best parent in this whole series. He's sarcastic, he's clever, and he's got such an entertaining dry sense of humour. He's a great influence on Fitz and he isn't afraid to call him out. The Wit is such a fantastic aspect of this series and the wit-bond that Fitz and Nighteyes share is so so beautiful.

3. Kettricken

My Queen. I haven't felt this strongly about a character in a long time. Always a beacon of honour in a story of political intrigue, secrets, and betrayal. They really lucked out with this arranged marriage. Not a single person in this story deserved her.

2. Beloved

- Fool, Amber, Lord Golden, Beloved. What a character. every facet of this character is so interesting and deep and beautiful. Amber was THE character in Liveships, the Fool was THE character in Farseer, Beloved with THE character in Tawny Man. THE CHARACTER OF ALL TIME.

Fitz

- You get it.

#rote spoilers #fitz and the fool spoilers #realm of the elderlings #rote

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poetryandfluffycats · 3 days

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Poker face

A/N: i wanna write a death note fic....

Pairing: Husband!Fyodor Dostoevsky x fem!reader

Content: You husband, Fyodor, doesn't tell you much about himself. He says that his stories will just bore you, but that couldn't be further from the truth.

Warnings: toxic relationships, mentions of murder, fyodor is a warning in itself😭

Words: 521

Oneshot under cut!

Fyodors eyes met mine from across the table, his cold gaze never leaving me even as he reached for his glass of wine and took a long sip. I watched his adams apple bob up and down with each swallow, the red liquid slowly disappearing from the glass. Our staring contest continued as he placed the glass down, leaning back in his chair resting his hands comfortably in his lap.

"How was your day, dear?" There was a smirk in his voice, even if it didn't show on his face. He didn't need to ask, he knew. He always knew.

"Fine" I blinked, keeping my face as neutral as possible. If I showed any cracks in my facade, he would have the upper hand. He would win. "Yours?"

"A bore" Fyodor sighed, moving his chess piece forward on the board. "Don't worry yourself, a worried wife is a useless one"

His words used to hurt me, burrowing like maggots into my brain and rotting away. Now I understood that I shouldn't take it to heart. That our marriage was a loveless one to begin with. That there was no reason to care for insults from a husband who only married me to use me as a tool in his game.

"Same for a worried husband, no?" I quipped back, moving my own piece. "Checkmate"

"You're learning" He chuckled, the corners of his lips curling into the slightest smile. He didn't smile much, or at least, not a genuine smile. Whether this one was real or not, I had no idea. It looked more out of mockery than anything. "Shall we go to bed, or do you have more snarky comments for me?"

"It's only 9pm" I tilted my head to the side, eying up the old grandfather clock in the corner of the room.

"Is that an issue?"

"For a man who stays up all night working on something he won't tell me about, yes. Why so tired now?"

Fyodor sighed again, shaking his head and sending me a sharp glare. "Don't ask me questions you don't want the answer too"

A classic response. A warning, more like. Fuck around and find out, poke the bear and get eaten, or which ever cliché phrase you wanted to use. It was true, however. I didn't want to know what he got up too at his work-which he had told me was an office job that would 'simply bore me to death'.

But I had seen him leave late in the night, seen him return covered in blood, seen the headlines the next morning and heard the gossip from the woman in town.

A terrorist organization, the Rats they called it, revoking havoc all over the country. The leader had been spotted too many times to count, a sicky Russian man with a piercing purple gaze.

I wasn't stupid.

But I wouldn't pry, either. I had all the information I was going to get. Because if there was one thing Fyodor was best at, it was his poker face.

"Fine. Bed it is"

"That's a good girl, tuck me in, will you?"

#oneshot #bsd #bsd x reader #bsd fyodor #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #fyodor dostoyevsky x reader #bungo stray dogs fyodor #fyodor x reader #decay of angels #writers on tumblr

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foxes-that-run · 2 days

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But Daddy I Love Him

Daddy I love him is an Ariel quote, when Ariel gives up her voice for love. Taylor has given up love for her voice (career), but also not spoken up for what she wants most. But Daddy I Love Him is a continuation of a theme of how fame and fandoms have affected Taylor's personal life. What I love about this song is it sounds like an older Taylor Swift song, she embraces a country sound and speaks her mind.

While the parallels to the reaction to a relationship in May 2023 can be seen, this overlooks much of her experience with this behaviour. I don't mean to say it is not an element, but it is far from a complete story to say it is about ending a 3 week relationship with someone about whom she also said "And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive" on the same record.

In her NYU Graduation address in May 2022 Taylor had part of the concept in this already swirling in her mind, a full year before she dated Matty Healy:

Having journalists write in-depth, oftentimes critical, pieces about who they perceive me to be made me feel like I was living in some weird simulation, but it also made me look inward to learn about who I actually am. Having the world treat my love life like a spectator sport in which I lose every single game was not a great way to date in my teens and twenties, but it taught me to protect my private life fiercely. Being publicly humiliated over and over again at a young age was excruciatingly painful but it forced me to devalue the ridiculous notion of minute by minute, ever fluctuating social relevance and likability.

What Taylor is referring to is the treatment by the media and fandoms throughout her career, but this was never more of an issue than 2012-2014. Nothing is a terrifying as a teenager on fledgeling social media. This TikTok creator describes it perfectly:

From tabloids, twitter, tumblr, even people who looked like Taylor were abused.

So yes, Harry has had and worn t-Shirt with the song title for years, and yes they have both dressed up as Ariel. But that is not all that makes this song about Taylor loosing her love over fan behaviour... it's because she did. She lost the love she wrote 1989 including "This love left a permanent mark / This love is glowing in the dark" about. And it continues today, there are a lot of people who still call Harry's partners vile names and think it is OK to treat others poorly because they suggest he could care for someone. I think anyone who's read this far knows exactly what I mean, probably first hand.

This affected Taylor the point the Clean Speeches on the 1989 Tour were on this topic, every night she talked about bullying, self worth and holding onto love.

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The 'Daddy' is not just the fans and media, but probably her team also. I think the varied shapes in the CDs are to show this comes in many forms and roles, not just one experience. As Taylor said to Rolling Stone in 2014 before 1989 was released:

Lyrics

[Verse 1] I forget how the West was won I forget if this was ever fun I just learned these people only raise you To cage you Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best Clutching their pearls, sighing, “What a mess” I just learned these people try and save you ‘Cause they hate you

For the international fans like myself 'How the West was Won' is a 1960's film about American colonisation. I think the opening 2 lines do 2 things, place us in a country setting and also tell us Taylor cares more about speaking her mind than what may be higher bigger goals.

The second half of this verse goes on to set out that it is fans who are approaching her love lost as trauma porn, and I am here for it.

I also note the cage reference, Taylor (and Harry) have a long theme of being caged or trapped by fame, she has a literal cage in her Nashville apartment, he has a cage tattoo and they have used cage, glass boxes, fishbowls, snowglobe imagery. Here she points out the fans are not really there for her, they are seeking to control her.

[Pre-Chorus 1] Too high a horse for a simple girl To rise above it They slammed the door on my whole world The one thing I wanted

The pre-chorus furthers that the final straw has been broken, she's been cornered by fans to give up something she cares for.

Vigante Shit "Ladies always rise above / Ladies know what people want / Someone sweet and kind and fun /The lady simply had enough"

Is It Over Now? "I was hoping you’d be there and say the one thing I’ve been wanting, but no"

That is the only time Taylor has sung about ‘wanting one thing' before. This also reminds me of the Delicate Behind the Scenes, where she said she got a note from a lover and wants to be with him but realises 'it can never be him'

[Chorus] Now I’m running with my dress unbuttoned Scrеaming, “But, Daddy, I love him I’m having his baby” No, I’m not, but you should see your faces I’m telling him to floor it through thе fences No, I’m not coming to my senses I know he’s crazy, but he’s the one I want

In the chorus Taylor acts out a churlish child yelling at a father. The 'daddy' is many roles, her actual parents, fans, media and probably record company and PR people who told her she could be with the one she loved, throughout her life. She says the matching line to Harry's Kiwi, which has the same meaning.

Taylor 'floors it through the fences, fed up and unwilling to listen. This is great imagery, to break through fences, and also as metaphorical fences that have been placed around what considered acceptable for her. Cars are also a Haylor theme, including Run below and often used as a metaphor for their love escaping as it is here. (All I know is that you drove us off the road / Let’s get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds)

Is It Over Now?: Was it over when he unbuttoned my blouse?

Run: And my so-called friends, they don’t know I’d drive away before I let you go

In Kiwi Harry yells a tabloid line followed with it's none of your business. In his Harry's House ONO complete with pointing at the camera and crowd. Taylor also referenced these same tabloids headlines in the Reputation magazine.

Kiwi "I'm having your baby / It's none of your business"

[Verse 2] Dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid Tendrils tucked into a woven braid Growing up precocious sometimes means Not growing up at all He was chaos, he was revelry Bedroom eyes like a remedy Soon enough, the elders had convened Down at the city hall

In the second verse Taylor establishes that she has gone everything asked of her:

Style - "I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt"

Style - "So it goes, he can’t keep his wild eyes on the road"

Yet is denied freedom and the elders decree the match is unsuitable. I think the elders are her team. She describes the muse as chaos and revelry. This is very reminiscent of the I Knew You Were Trouble introduction poem, but while in 2012 Taylor was contrite and said it was too much she now revels in the revelry:

"And the crazy thing is I don't know if I'm ever gonna feel that way again, but I don't know if I should. I knew his world moved too fast and burned too bright, but I just thought, how can the devil be pulling you toward someone who looks so much like an angel when he smiles at you? Maybe he knew that when he saw me. I guess I just lost my balance. I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing him it was losing me"

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[Pre-Chorus 2] “Stay away from her” The saboteurs protested too much Lord knows the words we never heard Just screeching tires and true love

The 'daddy' has now forbidden the love, this is reminiscent of Love Story: "And my daddy said, “Stay away from Juliet”

[Chorus] And I’m running with my dress unbuttoned Screaming, “But, Daddy, I love him I’m having his baby” No, I’m not, but you should see your faces I’m telling him to floor it through the fences No, I’m not coming to my senses I know he’s crazy, but he’s the one I want

'Crazy' and Madness are a Haylor theme, particularly in the Blank Space music video, and these lyrics

Wonderland "And in the end, in Wonderland, we both went mad"

Kiwi "She's driving me crazy, but I'm into it (Oh) and "It's getting crazy, I think I'm losing it, I think I'm losing it"

But many more songs:

[Post-Chorus 1] I’ll tell you something right now I’d rather burn my whole life down Than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning I’ll tell you something ’bout my good name It’s mine alone to disgrace I don’t cater to all these vipers dressed in empath’s clothing

I love the last line, vipers dressed in empaths clothing, that is exactly what they are.

[Bridge] God save the most judgmental creeps Who say they want what’s best for me Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I’ll never see Thinking it can change the beat Of my heart when he touches me And counteract the chemistry And undo the destiny You ain’t gotta pray for me Me and my wild boy and all of this wild joy If all you want is gray for me Then it’s just white noise, and it’s just my choice

The only time Taylor has described someone as wild in lyrics is in Style "So it goes, he can’t keep his wild eyes on the road"

Afterglow "Chemistry until it blows up"

I love the end of the bridge, elsewhere on the record Taylor describes her long term relationship as grey, staid and boring. For many years some fans have shoehorned this person into lyrics because they want to see themselves in her, as they settle down they want her too. From my point of view some rather loud warning signs in songs were overlooked, or seen as 'she's remembering the past/when they first got together' to avoid accepting she was unhappy and wanted out.

Out of the Woods "The rest of the world was black and white But we were in screaming color"

[Verse 3] There’s a lot of people in town that I Bestow upon my fakest smiles Scandal does funny things to pride, but brings lovers closer We came back when the heat died down Went to my parents and they came around All the wine moms are still holding out But fuck ’em, it’s over

This verse is where I think it becomes clear than the 2023 lens is at best reminding Taylor of a past love, because that relationship never came back. Matty has said they never dated in 2014, there was no controversy around her attending concerts then. They dated for a few weeks then stopped talking, and of story.

However Harry and Taylor did sing about a hidden relationship for years. In fact Taylor wasn't connected to anyone else in a serious way for three years. In particular

Wildest Dreams: I said, “No one has to know what we do”

This Love "This love came back to me, oh, oh, oh"

I know places : "Somethin' happens when everybody finds out / See the vultures circling, dark clouds" and "we're bulletproof I know places (Hide) and you know for me, it's always you"

…Ready For It?: "Island breeze and lights down low, no one has to know"

I Know Places TV's lyric video for got a very TTPD themed look.

[Final Chorus] Now I’m dancing in my dress in the sun and Even my daddy just loves him I’m his lady And, oh, my God, you should see your faces Time, doesn’t it give some perspective? And, no, you can’t come to the wedding I know it’s crazy, but he’s the one I want

Taylor is asking her fans, parents, media if they have grown up, from when they were teenagers playing with her real life, do they have perspective and willing to accept that she loves someone of her choosing?

And no, they can't come to the wedding, but I bet they have Eras Tour tickets....

#Youtube #but daddy i love him #haylor #Taylor Swift #ttpd #the tortured poets department #bdilh

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gracefuldisasters · 2 days

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What is your process in making your comic? :o I'm trying to make one myself and would like some tips!

Sure thing! I'm assuming you're talking about this one Hope you're okay with a long answer

I'd say first, you figure out what is the most important goal for you, and base the process around it. Is it trying a new style? Focusing on backgrounds?

For me, there was two main technical things. 1. I wanted to make absolute sure that I WILL finish it. 2. I realized how much I missed having physical pieces of art. (I also wanted to use the story to get a feel for writing these characters... but. that doesn't affect the process. not for me at least)

First, I have the story mostly mapped out in my head. It's not super long, it's more of an introduction to the world. So my "scripts" are really just dialogue and a thumbnail scribbled beside it. I'll plan maybe 5 pages and then immediately start drawing it. It's fast, and keeps me on my toes.

I sketch and ink everything on Bristol paper, except for the very first page. It took hours to do the inks for that one, which is when I realized that it was taking way too long and ultimately switched to paper. Infinite use of Ctrl+Z is not always a good thing. I'm not clean whatsoever with my inking. Most people would be more careful, but I just use it as a way to ignore my mistakes and keep pushing forward. (I do have a white paint marker for the big messes though.)

I scan the pages, and adjust the levels so it's purely black and white. I might also fix obvious mistakes here and there, but I'm not picky about it.

Then I color! I'm still figuring out what looks good. Though I really like having either monochromatic panels, or two complimentary colors directly opposing each other. I also overlay it with a grainy texture.

I use CSP for everything, and they have really good text tools, especially for comics. I like to color the text bubbles to match the color palette of the panels they're in. Just a personal preference.

I think that's it? But feel free to ask other questions if you're interested!

#ask #under the sun #I hope this helps?

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blood-teeth · 1 month

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on the real, im trying to throw myself back into the IF/writing space because it really was the singular thing that had helped me heal the first time around.

im playing with the idea of another IF, and really just taking my time with it and letting myself not be so pressured by forcing myself to update or churn out chapter a ton - that’s where a lot of my angst came from with FTMB and when TMITAWH was an IF

also! I’ve been absent from the space long enough that im not sure im reading everything from my friends or if there’s been some really good stuff coming out lately.

If you have any recs, I’d love to read them!

#idk idk just thoughts #I get a lot of anxiety about traditionally publishing TMITAWH because it’s such a #it’s such a book #publishing is hell and that’s even if I get an agent and even then the book still may not EVER be published #so like what do I do with the story then #do I come back to IF with it and just make it literally you click through the story because it’s not gonna change #or do I self pub #OR do I just throw it up somewhere online #I care about this story SO much it’s like a piece of me #so idk #but also coming back to creating IF is different too because I’m scared about immediate feedback like that and what if people don’t like it #yada yada yada #but it may be like a fun thing for me to get my mind off things #momma (me) (derogatory) cannot go back to therapy #anyway #let me know some recs please love you bunches ♥️♥️♥️#twine #IF #interactive fiction

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skrunksthatwunk · 3 months

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thinking about how eiji's a pole vaulter and how ash talks about eiji "flying" and how eiji's associated with bird imagery and how eiji's free (unlike ash) and how eiji comes in on a plane and leaves on a plane and how ash cannot fly, ash cannot be free, how nyc is ash's prison, and how ash is the leopard who dies climbing the mountain, unable to live at such elevation, how he was trying to reach the sky and be free but was always stuck to the earth, how he chose to die instead of climbing back down, how he chose to die where he could see the sky and hope and freedom almost like a bird with eiji's letter right in front of him rather than letting everything go wrong and ruin it once again, how eiji's a failed pole vaulter anyway, how a bad fall ruined his career and grounded him (physically and emotionally), how it took flying to america and meeting ash and needing to save him and skip for him to try flying again, how he landed hard and harsh and still the thought of that escape compelled ash to protect eiji at all costs because if he could fly that means something to him, even if he doesn't think he can fly, how eiji is the manifestation of his hope and how when he breaks and asks eiji to stay with him a while he folds himself over his legs and weighs him down and traps him and grounds him, how ash fights like hell to keep eiji alive not because he thinks he can be like him (hopeful, flying, innocent), but because he makes him forget the gravity of his situation, and so he can see eiji fly again. how he wants to see him escape. how eiji is a bird and ash is a wildcat and how ash never once saw eiji as prey. how eiji never saw ash as a predator. how it is eiji's naivete that first endears ash to him, how it is his freedom and flight and removal from darkness and his ability to leave that darkness that really roots eiji in ash's blood as something essential to him keeping on living in this hell of nyc. how it is that distance from the violence and that hope for the future that ash chooses to surround himself in as he dies. how ash dies in a dream because he feels more than anything that he can't fly like eiji, that he can never leave. how his violence is a part of him and will be forever, how it weighs him down. how he wants to enjoy the view from the mountainside rather than looking up from the ground below. as if they can both fly. as if he is with him up there and not grounded. eye-to-eye with what he can't have, seeing eiji's homeland: the sky. how he dies trying to reach the top because he couldn't take retreating and trying again. how ash, tired and tired and tired and convinced it will go on forever if he crawls back down the mountain, chooses to close his life deluged in eiji, in eiji's insistence that they can fly together, in eiji's hope for him and for them, in eiji's beautiful dream. how ash dies without trying to realize that dream. how ash, in dying, destroys it.

#banana fish spoilers #I'M HAVING A FUCKING MOMENT #mutual reblogged exactly one (1) piece of ash fanart and sent me on A Multiple Hour Long Thing and now im rewatching it lol #yes i am only on episode 2 yes i am still going to write big long analysis posts ANYWAY #whatever hope this makes sense. anyway #banana fish #okumura eiji #ash lynx #asheiji #hhhhh i can't believe i've only watched this twice in like what 5.5 years?? sheesh #anywayyyyyyy i care about them a lot ok. god #and yes i DO kinda have beef with the decision to kill ash off at the end but it really does say so much About his character #that he chose to die in the way that he did even though he's been throwing his life away since episode 1 #dying in peace in comfort in solitude rather than in some chaotic battlefield.... ough...... in the peace eiji alone could give him.....#anywayss i relate to ash a little more than i should so. this one's for us cool guy bottoms up #edit i uh.... i forgot it was a leopard.... in the story..... but whatever it doesn't really affect the symbolic meaning it's just embarras #ing that i forgot >;/

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sovonight · 5 days

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why is so much of sewing just tracing and cutting and tracing again q_q i see why people get projectors and use adobe illustrator now

#drawing up a design that i can easily pattern from my sloper: 😊#actually having to make the pattern by tracing and cutting ad infinitum: 😰#piecing together printer paper to get a big enough sheet of paper and doing this ten million times: 🥲😭#not to mention the IRONING.... prewashing the fabric and having to iron 8 yards of fabric???? excuse me????#and then distorting it as i iron bc it has a slight stretch and i got so tired i stopped being careful 2 yards in #and the way that you're supposed to press every seam... excuse me... am i just supposed to have my iron heated and on standby at all times #AND THE STEAM??? i just got stay tape the other day and thought it'd be a neat alternative to stay stitching #BUT IT NEEDS STEAM TO ACTIVATE (which okay makes sense) BUT long story short i'm too afraid to use the steam function #on my iron because none of us are sure if water should go back into a tank that's been in disuse for 30+ years #so instead i get this water spray pen and delicately spray down the length of each piece of stay tape #before i cover it with a piece of gauze and iron it. and then i have to iron it extra so all the water actually evaporates #oh and the spray pen holds as much water as half a pen so i have to walk to the kitchen every 10 sprays to refill it #and i have to do this for every curved edge on my pattern pieces #i mean the alternative is just stay stitching but then i would have to calibrate my settings for a single layer of fabric instead of double #which means i have to switch my needle out more and i'm still new enough that sometimes i install a needles wrong despite going through #all the same exact motions that i usually would. i'm LITERALLY suffering out here. anyway can't wait to sew or whatever #oh and did i mention i went to a sewing meetup recently? yeah...#everyone there bought like $30-$100/yard fabric and i was there awkwardly knowing i only buy like $12/yard fabric #honestly though i have the opposite problem people usually joke about. i find it So hard to find fabric i actually like #it needs to be the right fiber + right color + right pattern/texture + right weight + i have to know exactly what i'm going to make with it

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millenniumringg · 6 months

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How far would you go to protect the kingdom you love?

#blood #if anyone needs additional tagging let me know it’s very open for interpretation #I’ve been having dark thoughts about the ending of in shining armor #don’t worry I won’t do it #publicly #NFJSNDJSNDJ #anyways. I care about him so much.#I was thinking of this piece as sort of like a tapestry or as a fucked up coat of arms….#and if you’re familiar with the story it would absolutely be Bakura’s coat of arms CRYING SOBBING SHAKING HEAD IN MY HANDS #anyways. knight Ryou #he is everything to me #in shining armor #ryou bakura #millenniumringg art

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sleepyseals · 2 years

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[Image Description: A digital painting depicting Feldspar standing to the right of a campfire, facing away from the viewer and upwards. They are holding an arm outstretched above them and the other gesticulates as if they were telling a story. Several fireflies surround them and their shadow falls to their right. Wreathed in the smoke of the campfire is a scene of their campsite in Dark Bramble. Three large twisting brambles, the anglerfish fossil’s teeth, and three pine trees are suspended upside down, stretching downwards toward Feldspar and the campfire. A plume of stylized curling smoke stretches across the top of the scene from Feldspar’s ship in the top right corner. The ship is sparking with electrical failure. End Image Description.]

my piece for the @travelers-encore-zine !!! I think this came out a bit more conceptual than I wanted but I still like it!

Thank you to the mods for making this happen, putting everything together and being an amazing support team!!! Thank you to my fellow contributors for being so lovely and making such amazing things and sharing this project with me, I'm really happy I got to be a part of it!!

#I'm so late to posting this omg sorry!! I got stressed abt writing the caption bc its hard getting the words out of my brain sometimes #but its already been a few days since the zine came out I can't believe it #expect some sort of process video or post for this maybe!! as soon as I figure out how I want to do that haha #idk I put a lot of work into this that I don't want to leave unseen but I don't know how I would even go about formatting smth like that #I dont know how to feel abt this piece lol I definitely got very tired of looking at it by the end but I think I'm still happy with it #there's so much going on for me atm but I'm happy! I'm so happy I have things to be passionate about #crazy how life is messy as ever but so much more manageable when you have something you care a lot about #videos game. <3 <3 <3 #I’m interested to hear people’s thoughts on what this means like symbolically ::]#both lonely and claustrophobic #Stories are the basis of so much in game but give feldspar room to breathe god damn it #I have to go to class and stop rambling in the tags now #outer wilds #feldspar #dark bramble #my art #outer wilds spoilers #ow spoilers #how did i forget spoiler tags... smh my head XD

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