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erodasfishtacos · 1 year

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As It Was (You Know It’s Not The Same)

prompt: part II of the pornstar!au; what happens after the shoot

warnings: angst,smut, minors dni

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part one

YN is staring blankly into her bowl of chicken alfredo that Niall was kind enough to make after they got home from the shoot.

She had so many different emotions coursing through her that it felt like overload and it was making her numb as not one single thought could be construed properly in her head.

Niall let her process for a while as he chowed down on his own meal, eyeing his best friend regularly to try to get a gauge on her mental status.

It jars them both when Niall’s phone begins to ring, the obnoxious default music echoing through the apartment and interrupting the silence.

His phone was face down, in typical Niall fashion, he flips it quickly and answers, barely glancing at the unknown number on the screen.

“‘Ello?” He states through a mouthful, ever the gentleman, and as soon as the caller begins to talk, Niall’s eyebrows pinch downward and he drops his fork as he listens.

“She doesn’t owe you shit, mate,” Niall responds loudly and YN already knows who it is, knows that Harry has Niall’s number but not hers because she changed it a while back when a subscriber found it out and called incessantly.

“I’m not asking her whether she wants to talk or not. If she did, she obviously would have stuck around to do so. You don’t get to make demands when you were the one getting your dick wet elsewhere,” Niall was nearly shouting at this point where YN didn’t even need to hear Harry to know that he was keeping a deathly calm tone with a sharp edge to each word.

YN had only heard him yell once.

“You won’t let me explain!” Harry erupts angrily, YN had never heard him this loud ever as he stood in the entryway of their apartment, “You’re kicking me out and you won’t even fucking let me explain to you what’s been going on!”

“You had time to explain,” YN grits out, there were fat tears streaming down her cheeks and she could not catch her breath, “But when I asked you wh-what was going on you lied. You said n-nothing was sneak-sneaky.”

Harry’s eyes soften a bit as he tries to step forward with his arms outstretched, “Baby, you need to breathe. You’re going to pass out. Please, just let me help you first.”

“Don’t you dare,” YN manages to hiss between hiccups, taking a step back until she hits the wall behind her, “Don’t even think about touching me.”

Harry’s voice raises again, “You think that I would throw what we had away? For what? Sex? Are you that fuckin’ daft? When would I have time to get it anywhere when I’m trying to get with you every time I can? Our sex life is literally amazing.”

“You tell me,” She rebukes with a shake of her head, she just needs a minute to think and everything is going a mile a minute, “You tell me why.”

“You know what?” Harry scoffs with a clenched jaw, he looked more intimidating in this moment than he ever had as he spoke through his teeth, “The fact that you think I would ever cheat on you is disgusting. That you think so god damn little of me after I’ve spent the last five years proving my love and loyalty to you.”

YN’s bottom lip quivers at that, a fresh round of tears because this isn’t her fucking fault, and he is making her doubt herself right now.

“The fact that you’re willing to throw away this relationship because of something you suspect with nofucking proof. Just because of what you went through with your parents. That ready to get rid of me,” Harry’s volume lowers by the end, a watery edge of emotion to it, and YN watches him rub his eyes furiously to wash away the tears.

YN regrets what she says next because she knows they should have a conversation even if it’s not what she wants to hear.

However, she instead spits out, “Get the fuck out. I hope I never see your fucking face again. Go find the girl who was worth it and enjoy your life.”

And then she’s turning on her heel out of the room, the deafening sound of Harry slamming the front door shut as he leaves makes her ears ring and he had to have to splinter it.

YN has never collapsed to the ground before like she did right then, sliding down the wall in her kitchen and dropping her head to her knees - letting out the most earth-shattering wail as her soulmate walks out of her life.

“You can fuck off, mate,” Naill’s hard words interrupt her flashback as he pulls his phone away from his ear and presses the red ‘end’ button before setting his phone back down on the table, “Jesus. He wants your number.”

YN squeezes her eyes shut for a moment, shaking her head and taking in a deep inhale because it’s not that she doesn’t want to talk to him, she just knows that it’s not the best decision for her.

However, with the choices she made today to sleep with him, she wasn’t truly making great decisions anyways at this point.

It didn’t get him out of her system, if anything, it reminded her of how much her body craved him and how much her soul needed him - it reminded her of how broken she was without him.

“Thanks, Niall,” YN sighs as she pushes her full plate away, “I just…I just need some time to decompress. I’m probably just going to get a bath and head to bed. I’ll text you tomorrow. Thanks for everything today.”

Niall gives her a concerned look, not truly believing that she was okay enough to be alone but he nods, leaning over to kiss her forehead before telling her, “Call me if you need anything before then. Okay pet?”

YN agrees before walking him to the door, locking it behind him, and just standing there for a moment to gather herself - she hated that there were pinpricks of tears in her eyes because she missed Harry.

It didn’t help when she was undressing in her bathroom as her tub filled up, eyes tracing the bruises that Harry had left all over her skin - it was so unprofessional, actors knew that was in poor taste to leave marks.

Harry had proved once again how much he owned, controlled her body, even now with how tender the skin on her belly, hips, thighs were from his blunt teeth that nipped into her.

As she’s relaxing in the water, head resting against the basin as she watches a trashy reality television show on her phone, the dialogue pauses when there’s an incoming call on her phone from a number that wasn’t saved in her phone.

She can’t help but feel a twinge of annoyance at the interruption as she answers with a short, “Hello?”

“Hello,” It’s a voice that sends chills down her spine, she swears her nipples tighten at the mere single word uttered through the phone.

“How did you get my number?” YN demands, her heart already beating out of her chest as she sits further up in the bathtub.

“I have my ways,” Harry responds uselessly before he’s continuing on, “You ran from me today. You broke your promise.”

“Let’s not talk about broken promises, Harry,” YN snaps automatically, defensive and on-edge instantly with the conversation.

How dare he.

Harry let’s out a low chuckle that makes YN’s skin prickle in aggravation, like he’s in on a secret joke that she’s not privy to, “I promise you that the conversation I wanted to have with you would have benefited you. But that’s not why I’m calling.”

“Why else would you need to call me?” YN prompts because if she’s not aggressive like this, she’s going to cry, and she hates not feeling in control of her emotions, hasn’t felt like this in so long.

“I’m checking to see if you’re okay,” Harry’s bravado had softened now, like it did when he would really baby her, “I know today wasn’t easy. It wasn’t easy for me, at least.”

“You got your rocks off, how wasn’t it easy?” She replies sharply, YN knew that it wouldn’t be easy for him either but she wanted to hear it, she wanted to hear Harry say how hard it was for him - she knew that was wrong but in this moment, she didn’t care.

“YN,” He huffs in disapproval, he seems to debate his words before speaking carefully, “To have sex with you after not being able to for a year. To have sex with the woman that I thought that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. The only person I would have sex with for the rest of my life. It was fucking devastating.”

His voice cracks on the last sentence and he pulls away from the receiver to cough - he would always couch to hide emotion, it was a tell for him, always had been, and it makes her heart ache a bit.

“Well, you’re in the adult film industry now. I guess you gave up that idea,” YN hates how cold she sounds, her instinct is to comfort him, and assure him that she was struggling to - she couldn’t give in.

“No, not really,” Harry tells her, “Today would have been my first shot with another actor. All my other work has been solo. I haven’t slept with anyone since you. I feel like you showing up today was my sign that I don’t want to sleep with anyone else.”

YN realizes that she was digging her nails deeply into her palm, leaving marks, and she stops clenching her fist, resting it more delicately against her thigh, and she looks away from the lovebite that it lands on.

“I did two scenes,” YN mumbles under her breath, she knows she has no reason to feel guilty or bad about it, they were broken up, “One with a guy and I hated it so I did one with a girl and I didn’t like it either. I’ve been doing it solo since then.”

“I see,” Harry responds, his voice doesn’t give anything away.

“I-Does that make you mad?”” YN regrets asking instantly, she doesn’t know why she felt the need to fucking ask that - of course, she wants to know the answer but she needs a filter sometimes.

Harry pauses for a moment, thinking over his response carefully, “No. Just, it doesn’t feel good to hear, obviously, but I’m not upset with you, sweethea-.” He catches his pet name and rephrases, “Don’t act like you don’t remember what a possessive sod I was. It makes my skin crawl to imagine you with some else but it’s nothing that you did wrong.”

“Harry, baby,” YN giggles quietly as Harry’s mouth attacks her neck, sucking harsh bruises into the thin skin, biting at the crook of her neck as she knots her fingers into his curls to grip him, “S’okay, H.”

Harry’s hands curling into the waistband of her biker shorts, tugging them down her thighs along with her underwear, his hand finding her mound, and his fingers splitting through her plump lips to push up inside of her.

“S’mine, yeah? Tell me, pet,” Harry orders as he pulls back from her neck, only to bring their lips together as he crooks his two thick fingers forward to pet at the sponges spot inside her walls.

“Oo-oh fuck,” YN moans as softly as possible, her back hitting the stall door, and making a shuttering noise as he scissors his fingers to spread her open, thumb navigating to her clit to rub at it.

“I’m going to stop,” Harry bites out, acting like he’s about to pull out his fingers, and it makes YN let out the most spoiled whine which makes him drag his teeth against her jaw, “Tell me, whose this is? Tell me who owns this cute little cunt.”

“You, baby, you,” YN babbles quickly because she wants to come, she can feel herself dripping onto his palm, and it’s making the most filthy slick sound in the otherwise silent bathroom.

It was all because they were working out at the gym and while Harry stepped away to refill his water bottle, some guy took the opportunity to approach YN to ask if she needed help with weights, and lifting technique.

Harry did not miss the way the chiseled man’s eyes didn’t move from YN’s bum for more than a minute while she squatted and ignored his advances - acting like she couldn’t hear him through the music in her headphones.

“She’s good, mate,” Harry cuts in, his hand coming to rest possessively at the small of her back, fingers creeping towards her bum to let this guy know that he didn’t have a fucking chance, “Don’t fucking approach her again.”

Dude got the message quickly, scurrying back to a different bench press but Harry could still feel this creep’s gaze on his girl as she went about her workout and he didn’t miss the way other men at the gym stole glimpses too.

“Who am I? Say my name,” Harry goads as YN tries to clench her thighs together with her oncoming orgasm but he knees them even further apart, and with his free hand, he yanks down her sports bra until her tits spill out, ducking down to lick at the hard nubs.

“Harry, Harry,” YN chants as her thighs begin to quiver violently, her head knocking against the door as she lets her eyes close and let out a long mewl as the intense feelings rock through her.

“There’s my girl,” He hums approvingly, cheekily licking at his fingers before helping tug her leggings back up in the small gym bathroom, “All mine, yeah? Don’t I make you feel so good, yeah?”

“Always,” YN replies sweetly, leaning forward to give him an appreciative kiss and tug him into a hug which makes the tough man melt a little bit.

“Let’s get you home, shower you, and then I’ll give you a nice cuddle, hm?”

He was so fucking gone for her.

“I remember,” YN can’t help let the giggle spill from her lips at the memories of him.

“Don’t laugh at me,” Harry pouts but lets it dissolve into a laugh as well, “Fuck, I miss that sound.”

“Harry, why did you call?” YN sighs, bringing the conversation back to the now because YN felt herself melting into him like she always did and she couldn’t let herself do that.

“Like I said, I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Harry reiterates, “It was an emotional day and you bailed before I could check on you. I just wanted to make sure you were good.”

She wasn’t.

“I’m fine,” YN couldn’t even deny how much of a lie it sounded like.

“YN,” Harry grunts firmly because he knew, of course, he knew, “We need to talk. Seriously.”

And this is were YN backs out, cowardly, she doesn’t care because she can’t talk, she can’t get her heart broken again.

“I, uh,” YN sputters for a moment, wracking her brain for an excuse, “I forgot I have something in the oven. I have to go. Bye.”

With that she hangs up on him, she knows hes going to call back, and like clockwork, he does - phone lighting up again with the unsaved number, YN silences her phone and tosses it onto the plush rug - slipping back down into the tub and groaning at the shit storm she got herself into.

YN was a bit early, always was usually, especially to an important meeting like today.

It was with Warren at the production headquarters, all that she’s been told is that it’s good news, and that she shouldn’t worry about anything because at first she thought she might be in trouble over something.

They guide her into one of the fancy conference rooms with sleek gray colors and modern furniture - she’s dressed in a professional outfit, a tailored suit and her favorite pair of heels.

Anxiously, she plays on her phone as she waits for the others to arrive, and after a few minutes, people begin slowly pouring into the room - they come with tablets, computers, notepads that mean business.

Warren walks in like he owns the place as always, a tacky white suit on with his black hair slicked back with so much gel it looks greasy as he sits at the head of the table, “Just waiting on one more,” He announces as he fixes his gaudy gold watch on his wrist.

YN should not be shocked at this point when Harry enters the conference room last, in a tailored suit too but his button up was barely buttoned, revealing the butterfly right below his sternum and his sparrows on display.

She can tell that Harry was also not expecting her there by the surprise on his face when he scans the room and sees her sitting there, he regulates himself fast and his face goes back to emotionless as he sits down closer to Warren in the last available seat.

“Okay, now I know you two don’t know why we’ve called this meeting,” Warren begins and picks up a little remote, clicking on a projector screen as multiple graphs pop up on the wall, “But this is about the video you two made last week. It’s the most view, top rated, and most downloaded video that has ever been posted on our sight. THe demographic is evenly split between male and female viewers. The age demographic also ranging from eighteen to sixty. The advertisement revenue has brought in nearly five million dollars alone.”

If YN wasn’t working on controlling her facial expression, her eyes would have bugged out of her head at the announcement - she hadn’t been tracking how successful it had been but she did not expect that.

“Based on the majority of comments, female fans loved the intimacy and realistic interaction between you two. They reported that it reminded them of a real couple. Men commented that they enjoyed that dominance of the Harry and how responsive YN was to him.”

YN felt the heat rising to her cheeks as they discussed the topic, her eyes glued to her hands as she nervously picked at her nail beds until it hurt, she didn’t know where this conversation was going.

“We are offering both of you an opportunity,” Warren continues with excitement in his voice, “A series on the channel. The catch is that we will be asking you two to exclusively film with each other at this time. We are aiming for at least ten videos but possibly more based on the continued popularity which we do not see as being a problem.”

Oh god.

“The team has decided on a generous offer of two point five millions dollars for ten videos plus added bonuses contingent on the advertisement revenue,” Another businessman speaks up, he’s clicking around on his laptop as he talks, “Then there will be another offer if the series continues.”

Two point five million dollars.

Never.

Ever.

In YN’s wildest dreams would she think she would be offered that amount, right in front of her, let along to get to do the videos with the only person she’s every felt sexually compatible with.

She wouldn’t consider herself greedy but that amount of money would really really push her life in the right direction, she could find a better apartment in the city, she could do so much.

YN was willing to put up with the emotional sacrifice, fuck, she’d hire a therapist with that money if she had to but she couldn’t imagine turning that down all because it’s will Harry - she’d had sex with him for free anyways.

It’s a no brainer.

So it’s an absolute shock when YN gazes up at Harry, who’s sat back in his seat with his arms crossed and an annoyed look on his face with his lips pursed and his eyebrows furrowed.

Her heart drops into her stomach when he makes direct eye contact with her and tells the room, “Absolutely not. I decline the offer. I have no desire to participate in this.”

#pornstar!au #pornstar!harry #pornrry #harry styles writing #harry styles #harry styles masterlist #harry styles fic rec #harry styles x reader #harry styles fluff #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles smut #harry styles angst

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wonysugar · 4 months

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Heyyy this is my first time requesting something

Imagine gamergf! Sakura, who is always gaming and doesn’t gives attention to reader, so one day reader sneaks into sakura’s gaming room and kneels in front of her, kkura doesn’t even notices her presence until she feels how now her pussy is exposed, reader who starts to eat her out while she’s playing, begging reader to stop overstimulating her

cw: somnophilia, cnc (boundaries discussed beforehand ofc), bondage and overstimming (so begging!)

sakura was exhausted as fuck... originally just getting on her computer and playing geometry dash to pass the time but having it being quickly turned into an intense gaming session, as per usual, her eyes glued to the screen until like what.. two am at this point? btw doing allat while only wearing a tank top and panties because let her live anyways moving on

she just cannot for the life of her pass this godforsaken level and she's sick of it; being an incredibly competitive person, she couldn't bare backing down. she was gonna pass that level, even if it took the whole night.

you, on the other hand, have been trying to get her attention throughout the whole day. look, you loved your girlfriend, she was loving, caring, everything you could possibly want. but one thing you knew she wasn't good with; giving you attention whenever she was focused on something else. if you tried texting her, she wouldn't even see the notif. if you tried coming in her room and starting a conversation, she would give back short responses. it was difficult, if not impossible.

long story short, you were incredibly needy, and you were ready to do anything to get her to pay attention to you.

the discouraging words "attempt 1553" displaying on her screen as it lit up the dark room that she was in, her eyes fighting what felt like an invisible force that was desperately trying to close them shut. throwing her head back, she sighed exasperatedly, almost dozing off. a small break wouldn't hurt, she told herself.

yeah no, no matter how hard she tried fighting her own drowsiness, the chair was so comfy, she couldn't help but eventually give up and close her eyes. she was eepy, if you will.

and eep did she do!

what she didn't know, though, is that she was sooo incredibly tired that she didn't even notice you walking into her room and strapping her to her chair. poor bby was just sooo tired and unaware. :((

when she went to rub her eyes, she quickly realized that her hands were restrained, she noticed you under her desk and immediately looked lost, what were you doing there? suddenly, she felt the slight vibration in between her legs, already giving her sleepy brain somewhat of an idea "mmh.. love..? w-what are you doing—"

"i'm gonna untie one of your hands so you can play and win this level, okay? if you don't, i'm not letting you cum, as simple as that. also, i unplugged your headphones; i wanna make sure you won’t be lying when you'll say that you won."

"couldn't we have just— mmh— done this in bed..?" she asks, stumbling on her words as she tried to keep her eyes open.

you scoffed at her words, mocking her "do you really think i'd go to this length if you actually paid attention to me throughout the day? you seemed soo committed to passing this level, i can't just take that away from you, can i?"

she furrowed her eyebrows in guilt as she looked down at you, avoiding your gaze once her eyes started tearing up. was it the drowsiness, the sudden culpability she felt when she figured out why you were doing this, or the pleasure her clit was throbbing for?

she didn't know, she felt like she didn't know anything at that moment.

you took away the vibrator to pull down her only piece of lower clothing, her underwear. upon taking it off, you watched as the slick of her cunt stuck to the fabric of her panties, smirking at the sight. looking up at her and noticing her hard nipples through her thin tanktop. she was barely even awake and she was already this needy for you?

"slut." you spit out, making her whine in the process.

after untying one of her hands, the rest of the night turns into you pressing your favorite vibrator against her clit as you ate her out, hearing her desperate moans and cries of pleasure mixed with the, quite frankly, unserious geometry dash music coming from her speakers as she desperately tried winning. and whenever her noises got louder and her breathing got heavier? you simply took away all the sensation from her, denying her orgasm as you made her twitch with anticipation as she whined..

and the need to constantly remind her, "keep your eyes on the screen and hand on the keyboard, i'm not gonna keep repeating myself, sakura." whenever she pathetically begged you to let her cum, staring at you as tears fell from her eyes, she was just so desperate to cum :((

eventually, after like, 3 hours, she managed to pass the level. holding onto your promise, you untied her limbs and ate her out, licking all of her folds and sucking on her clit until she finished all over your tongue and lips, gripping your head and pushing you closer to her wet core. you were certain that your neighbors would have a word with you the next day the way she was screaming out your name, blabbering sleepy nonsense as she came undone under your touch :((

long story short, she slept incredibly well after you carried her to bed that night. <3

#anon asks #smut #anon #kpop gg #female reader #le sserafim smut #sakura miyawaki x female reader #sakura miyawaki #sakura smut #sakura le sserafim #sakura x female reader #sakura miyawaki smut

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luxora · 1 year

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The Glory -> You visit them in prison

Requested: No

Kdrama: The Glory

Genre: Angst. Fluff?

Warnings: Mentions of murder. Mentions of bullying. Mentions of death. No remorse. Swearing.

A/N: I absolutely do not condone anything that was presented in the kdrama. No one should ever bully others. This is all purely fiction.

Moon Dong-eun

Dongeun had never been one to truly care about fashion, mainly because she only purchased items of clothing that could conceal the horrid burn scars that were inflicted on her during high school. However, it did not mean that she approved of the prison uniform that was currently fitted to her body. While the colour itself did not bother her, nor that it was a prison uniform, but it was rather the short sleeves of the uniform that bothered her.

Since the day Dongeun had received the burn marks from Yeonjin and the others, she has always covered them with long clothing. Ranging from long-sleeve dressed to oversized jackets and sweaters, Dongeun always made sure to hide her scars from the public eye, hating the looks of horror that were immediately scorned her way, constantly bringing a wave of humiliation to her.

She never should have been forced into the position where she feels that she has to constantly hide herself. She shouldn’t be fearful over the fact that someone could possibly catch a glimpse of her bare forearms in case they notice the first burn scar which had marked her collection. She should not living her life for the sole purpose of revenge, and yet it was the only thing which had kept her alive so far.

Dongeun stared blankly at you from the other side of the plastic screen in the visitation ward, your own face filled with obvious sadness with tears streaming down your face while you stared at her from your side of the screen. While her heart pinched at the sight of your tears, she did not allow herself to show any concern. Between the two of you, she had to be the strongest. You were already the more emotionally one between the two of you, so that meant that she had to be the controlled one.

“Dongeun...” You uttered, your bottom lip trembling after her name left your mouth, the anguish obvious to even the prisoner guard who was monitoring Dongeun’s visit with you. “I’m so sorry.”

“I have already said that it is not your fault Y/N. This was a possible risk.”

Dongeun had expected for Yeonjin to try use her means of wealth and resources in an attempt to stop her journey of revenge; however, she didn’t quite anticipate that she would manage to spin a made up story which incriminated Dongeun for supposedly blackmailing students at her workplace for some benefits. While there was hardly any evidence to the story, there was apparently some constructed proof, no doubt courtesy to Mr Chu who had some sort of vindictive grudge towards Dongeun for some whatever reason.

And so Dongeun was serving time for a crime that she did not commit, although she did not plan to stay for long.

“Still, so much has happened to you and yet-”

“One thing to know about revenge Y/N is that you should expect the unexpected. I had expected this, but did not anticipate in it actually happening.”

“Why are you so calm?!” You suddenly screeched, slamming your hand hard on the table that it echoed in the room.

Dongeun felt the gaze of the prisoner guard behind her, no doubt attempting to diagnose the cause of your temper flare, but Dongeun did not react. She instead continued to gaze at you with a blank gaze.

“I see no point in losing my temper over something that is inevitable. Becoming lost in a rage is not going to change the fact that I am in here.”

“But you didn’t do it!” You exclaimed, staring at her desperately as tears continued to escape. “You don’t deserve to be in here! Out of all people, it is Yeonjin and her whole group of asshole friends!”

You were not someone who habitually cursed, although it became a different story when you lost your temper. Even though it was hardly appropriate, a small smile found itself gracing Dongeun’s lips, her eyes lighting up slightly as she gazed at your frazzled appearance. You immediately furrowed your eyebrows when you noticed the small.

“Why are you smiling?”

“...I don’t know.”

It was true.

She didn’t know why she was smiling, but she had found that since meeting you, smiles have become a more frequent in her life. After her high school experiences with Yeonjin and the others, Dongeun could hardly feel any sort of happiness during her years into adulthood. Dongeun had to work to survive and survival hardly had any room for emotions such as happiness. Possibly the only form of happiness she felt was when she marked the start of her revenge plot against Yeonjin. Her laborious thoughts of revenge slowly started to become true, and the pieces slipping into place brought a sense of twisted glee to Dongeun, who has been a victim for Yeonjin far beyond their high school days.

And yet somehow and somewhat, she has found herself feeling a different sort of glee when she was with you. Although perhaps the correct word to use was contentment. She became somewhat content in your presence. Something she was not used to.

“There has to be something that we can do.” You said, ducking your head as you sniffled as your tears began to blur your eyesight, making you miss the tilt of Dongeun’s head as she looked at you. Dongeun reached out and tapped the transparent screen, the sound prompting you to lift your head again. She leaned in so that she could talk to you in a lower tone.

“There is nothing that we can do but wait. You must remain home and continue with your everyday life. You do not need to worry about me.”

You looked at her in slight confusion for a few moments before your expression suddenly hardened, your eyes becoming sharp despite the moisture in them.

“If you think that I am going to just leave you like this-”

“You are not because I will not be here for much longer.” Dongeun interrupted, a small gleeful smile gracing her lips again as her eyes lit up with small determination. “I already have a plan for my release, but it will take some time so I need you to continue living normally without me. You will hear more about it from me soon.”

“Dongeun...what are you-”

“I can’t tell you now but I promise that I will soon. Trust me Y/N...I have a plan for something like this.”

While Dongeun did not anticipate for herself to be put into this situation, it did not mean that she did not plan for the possibility. She had already started the process of her eventual release, courtesy of a certain doctor who was determined to be her executioner. Although while he did play an important part, he could not compare to you, her warden.

Her warden who did whatever they could to protect her, as expected of a warden. You guarded and protected, be it Dongeun or her proof for revenge. She trusted you and she knew that you trusted her to keep to her word and eventually tell you her plan. Although not for the moment. It was not the right time. She will tell you when the time is right, when there is no possibility of derailment.

Joo Yeo-jeong

Despite the dark grey uniform that was clothing his body and the plastic screen that was separating him from you, Yeojeong couldn’t help but smile thoughtfully while you looked at him from the opposite seat, eyebrows furrowed at his expression.

“Why are you smiling?” You asked, your hand raised half in the air as you leaned back in your chair, fingers lazily moving against one another. His eyes brightened at your question.

“I’m happy.” He said, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

Although to Yeojeong, it was the most obvious answer in the world. He had finally done it. He had finally ended the life of his own tormentor. It took over two years but he eventually managed to see the light fade away from that animal that had ruined his entire life. He had so meticulous with his revenge. He at first started with the weekly medication that prisoners were entitled to have until eventually progressing to the food that he would eat. He maintained his professional facade the entire time, no one suspecting his true intentions.

He internally found delight in the wariness of the animal, cautiously stepping towards the counter to receive his medication, all while Yeojeong maintained his friendly demeanor. While he had smiled at tormentor, appearing friendly from the public eye, only he could recognize the iciness of the smile. Yeonjeong had promised him that he had to be careful when the two of them met again because then Yeojeong was going to mark the start of his revenge. He had promised that he was going to kill him and that nobody was going to suspect foul play because Yeojeong was a doctor.

It had worked for the whole two years. Yeojeong had made sure that the process was slow. He wanted to draw it out as much as he could because the animal did not deserve a quick death. He made sure that his father had choked on his blood, suffocating him and making his death panicked and painful with himself being the last thing that his father would ever see until he finally succumbed to his injuries. That was something that Yeojeong could never forgive. He could never forgive the monster who had created his father’s death, nor could he forgive that the betrayal he demonstrated by killing the doctor who had saved his life.

Yeojeong drew out his death deliciously, and when he finally stared down at the dying monster, he couldn’t help but smile. He had leaned down so that they were practically face-to-face, a calm smile on his face as he took in his moment of victory.

“Do you need me to give you something for the pain?”

The terror in his eyes were wonderful and nothing brought Yeojeong more delight than seeing the moment of death. He had finally completed his revenge. He avenged his father and his family. He managed to make the monster pay for all the pain he had caused Yeojeong and his family. He could finally move on with his life, with you and with his mother.

...Only he was eventually suspected of being the cause of the death.

It took some digging to eventually track down the proof that would give them the right to imprison Yeojeong. He did not even put up a fight when they had arrived with handcuffs. He did not feel any fear or sadness; however, he did feel a sense of guilt when he turned around to see you standing in the entryway of his home, having rushed from the table where the two of you were having dinner. He did make sure to utter an ‘I love you’ to you before he was hauled away, the officer reading out his rights as he was escorted out his home and towards the police vehicle which was waiting for him.

“...You are happy that you are in prison?” You asked, snapping him out of his thoughts as he began to recall his memory of his object of revenge finally becoming lost in the next realm, most likely to a fiery inferno. He smiled serenely at you.

“Not exactly.”

“...Then why are you happy?”

“I feel achieved.”

“I achieved?”

“Yes. I finally did it Y/N, I finally killed that monster. He’s dead and its all because of me. He feared for it. He feared for his death. He feared me. It was glorious.”

It was truly glorious. It was possibly the best entertainment that Yeojeong could ever have in his life. While it was expected for him to find a new means to entertain himself, nothing could ever compare to the two year game he had to play. It was wonderful.

Crack!

Yejeong suddenly jumped at the sound of your fist hitting the table, your facial features twisted harshly as you glared from your end of the screen, your jaw clenching tightly.

“Right. It was so glorious that you didn’t think of the possibility of getting caught, or even think about how this would affect me.” He furrowed his eyebrows at you, slightly confused. You scoffed at his expression. “Were you so obsessed with your idea of revenge that it didn’t even occur to you to even mention the fact that you were going on a whole revenge trip to kill a man?!”

Yeojeong felt his body tense defensively, his facial features hardening as he stared at you.

“It wasn’t just any man, he was the man that-”

“Yes I know that now Yeojeong, after I had to hear it from a detective! Don’t you think I had to right to know about your whole plan? Don’t you think that I had the right to know that you were trying to kill someone?!”

“...”

Yeojenong couldn’t help but stare at you with furrowed eyebrows, the suddenly posed question making him ponder to himself. Why hadn’t he told you about it? The two of you had steadily progressed in your relationship. You found him after Dongeun had suddenly vanished, and he found himself finding comfort and contentment in your presence, slowly but surely falling in love with you.

...But it did not occur to him to inform you of his plans.

He was unable to say anything because he didn’t know what he could say to placate you. It simply never did cross his mind, and you had been by his side for the past two years. Why didn’t he tell you?

His lack of an answer angered you and he couldn’t help but whip his head up at you as you stood up from your seat, shaking your head before sparing him with a final glance.

“Forget it Yeojeong.”

And then you left. Your shoes leaving an echoing sound in the room as you exited the through the door and slammed it shut, leaving Yeojeong behind in stunned silence.

Ha Do-yeong

Doyeong could not stand the look that you were giving him from your side of the screen, your eyes glossed over with pity and fear for him; although he did not blame you since neither of you knew when he would eventually be let out. He let out a sigh and threaded his fingers through his hair, it becoming longer than usual due to the past time in the prison. While he could have it done, he has chosen not to. He decided that it was going to be one of the first things he was going to do once he released.

“How is Yesol?” He asked, looking at you with tense eyes as he waited for an answer. You sighed and leaned back in your seat.

“She is sad but she is doing okay, much better than I had expected. But she missed you. She misses her daddy. She doesn’t understand why you are in here...and I don’t know what to tell her.”

“Did you tell her what we had agreed on?” He asked, anxiety shooting through him at the thought of his daughter finding out the truth. You nodded.

“Yes. As far as she knows, you were put in here by mistake. That you were put in here by some bad people. But Doyeong, she is a lot smarter than you think. She has started asking me questions that I don’t know how to answer. She is going to eventually figure out the truth.”

“Yes but lets prolong it for just a bit longer. She already has a mother who is a bully and a murderer...me being a crook is not something that she needs to deal with. I know better than anyone that at times ignorance is simply bliss.”

“But Doyeong...it wasn’t even your fault.”

“But it is in the eyes of the law.”

Doyeong has always prided himself on his natural instincts towards certain topics because they had never failed him. From his business school years to the strong, effective progression of his company, Doyeong had always managed to trust his instincts to guide him along the correct path.

And yet that had incorrectly guided him into the arms of a black widow, better known as Yeonjin, childhood bully and adult terror. Doyeong could not believe that he was so blind to her true nature, even though he had fallen for her during their whole courtship. She was beautiful, it was obvious, and perhaps that was why he was so attracted to her in the first place. He liked them pretty. She had a charm about her which could not be easily replicated, and like a moth to a flame, he was drawn in, not realizing that he was going to be burnt nearly a decade later.

His instincts had started working again when Moon Dongeun had entered Yeonjin’s life again, which inevitably caused the woman to enter his own. He could not believe the cruel capabilities of his wife, inflicting such cruel harm onto somebody simply because she could. While Doyeong would hardly say he was an innocent student during his high school years, he would have never done anything that Yeonjin and her friends had done to Moon Dongeun.

What they had done to the woman...it was inhuman.

Doyeong was disgusted that he had married a monster. He wouldn’t even be able to call her a human because no human would be cruel enough to inflict such pain onto another. Yeonjin could not be classified as a human. She was an animal. A monster. Anything but a human. The only way Yeonjin preserved any form of her humanity was through the birth and upbringing of Yesol.

Despite her not being his biological daughter, she was the purest thing in the world. While she had her mother’s beauty, she did not possess her twisted personality. She was innocent, sweet, and naturally curious. She was such a sweet girl who loved dolls and soccer. She enjoys making food for him and you, the two of you often bonding in the kitchen and sharing smiles and laughter which couldn’t stop a smile crawling along his own face.

The last bit of innocence that Yeonjin had before it died in school was reincarnated in Yesol, and Doyeong was going to do his best to protect it. He was not going to allow her to become like either of her biological parents. It was a vow that he had made to himself.

“I’m sure your lawyers will find something. You were not the reason for the whole scheme. You didn’t even know that it was a scheme in the first place.”

“But I am the one who had signed the papers Y/N. In the eyes of everyone and the law, I knew exactly what was happening. My signature on the documents says it all.”

His instincts had failed him for the first time with his marriage to Yeonjin, and they failed him for the second time for his entrapment in a money laundering scheme that had been discovered.”

He should have known better than to sign. He should have had his people investigate the company even more, but the business people had done their homework carefully and meticulously. Doyeong would almost be impressed if he was not the one who was had become the drop man, taking all the blame and burden once the scheme was discovered. Even though his hands were clean, they were not in the eyes of the law, hence why he was locked up in prison in a visiting ward with you.

“Don’t lose hope Doyeong. The truth will come out. I’m sure of it.” You said hopefully, a resolute look in your eyes.

Doyeong gazed at you for a few moments, almost thoughtful because he could not understand why you were so hopeful in a time which seemed hopeless to him. His lawyers would have found something by now to prove his innocence, but they have found nothing. As far as he knew, he was stuck here and there was a possibility that he was never going to get out.

“...Let us hope so.” Doyeong said, forcing a small smile on his face as he gazed at you, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table. “Please keep looking after Yesol for me.”

You flashed a small smile at him, shaking your head before leaning forward in return to be closer to him as best that you could.

“You don’t even need to ask me that Doyeong. Of course I will.”

Doyeong smiled in return, a more genuine one this time as he nodded gratefully to you, thankful to have someone like you in his life to man the ship outside the prison until he hopefully returns.

Park Yeon-jin

The silence was eating away at Yeonjin, burrowing her out from the inside while she trembled in her seat, her fingers incessantly picking at her cuticles as she waited for you to speak. You have already been here for twenty minutes and had yet to answer a single question that Yeonjin had asked. She had assumed that it was because it was still a shock to you to see her in such a horrible dressing clothes. Yeonjin was still in a state of disbelief herself that she was wearing the prison uniform, the garment doing nothing for her but torment her for all the things that have happened to her ever since the arrival of that bitch Moon Dongeun.

She should have just killed her years ago...just as she did with Sohee.

But there was hardly any time for her to think about those two pathetic beings. You were here in front of her, the only person who would visit her. Sara she knows is locked up somewhere for her stupid drug addiction, as well as stabbing that backstabber Hyejeong in the neck. Yeonjin sincerely hopes that she bled out or swallowed the whole pencil whole. And Jaejun hadn’t even bothered to show his face. But he was literally the last person she wanted to see her like this. It was humiliating enough for that damned Moon Dongeun to see her like this...that pathetic bitch deserved to die for everything that she has done to her.

Her perfect life was shattered the second that bitch had stepped foot back into that school hall.

Her nerves were already on the edge with being in this prison, the vilest of women residing in here that one could mistake them as the slugs on the garden wall that has been residing there for generations. They disgusted her and sharing her living quarters with them horrified her. There was no sense of elegance or luxury. She had no reason for being here. She did not deserve to be here. It was all because of that damned scarred bitch. She should be the one in this damn prison for ruining her life.

The only thing that could give her some sense of reprieve was you, but your silence was making her hell even more torturous. She hasn’t spoken to anyone since her arrival. They were not people who she could converse with, or even want to converse with. Tossing backwater in the dryers with Hyejeong would have been more enjoyable that interacting with those disgusting slug women. You were the only one in the prison who was worth her time and sanity, and yet you are not speaking to her.

She has sent you letters and yet you have not answered them. Yeonjin felt like she was going mad here. You were the only form of sanity that she had left in this hell. You were the only reminder of her previous utopia before she ended up in here. You were her past life. She wanted it back. She wanted you.

“Y/N...speak to me already.” She said, letting out a nervous laugh as she looked at you, expression tightened seriously as you stared at her. “Do you have news for me? Have my lawyers said anything? How is Yesol, is she-”

“You don’t have to worry about Yesol. Doyeong is taking care of her.” You suddenly interrupted, finally speaking your voice after the last twenty minutes. Yeonjin flinched at your hard voice, but she immediately fixed her attention on you.

“T-That’s good. Y/N I am telling you that this place is my living hell. You have to talk to my lawyers and get them to-”

“What lawyers Yeonjin? In case you had forgotten, the lawyers that were helping you out were hired by Doyeong. You don’t have a single cent to spend on a lawyer, not even a public one.” You snapped, your voice sharp as a knife as you glared at her from your side. Just the sound of your hard voice and glare immediately made Yeonjin tighten up defensively.

“What do you think you are saying to me? Y/N I swear-”

“What can you do Yeonjin? You are in there and I am out here. There is literally nothing that you can do to me. Nothing.”

Your sudden hiss took Yeonjin aback completely, her eyes widening at the harsh way that you were talking to her. You have never spoken to her in this manner before. You have always been more soft spoken , submissive to Yeonjin in a sense, but it was the way Yeonjin liked you because you always made her feel more powerful and worshiped. Your eyes were always filled with awe and adoration when you saw her...and yet the only thing she could see in them were ice.

“I don’t have time for this. So I’m just going to give it to you straight. I’m leaving.” You announced, checking your watch for good measure before glancing at Yeonjin again, showing no reaction to her stunned expression.

“...What? What do you mean?” Yeonjin questioned, her eyebrows furrowing as she sat frozen in her seat, a wave of anxiety slowly building up with her the longer she continued to stare at you. You sighed again.

“I got a job offering overseas. I’m going to take it.”

“You can’t.” Yeonjin immediately snapped, shaking her head as she stared at you with hard eyes, the wave getting bigger within her. “You can’t go anywhere.”

“Newsflash Yeonjin, it is not up to you. And even if it was, there is literally nothing you can do to stop me from leaving.” You snapped, leaning down to grab your bag. The sight of you gathering your belonging immediately made a snap of panic through Yeonjin’s body, making her leap out of her chair and completely pressed against the screen, her action making you startle as she pressed her palms against the plastic and dug her nails against the surface.

“What the hell do you think you are saying? You can’t leave! What about me? Did you fucking think about me?!” She screeched against the screen, her entire body trembling as she stood before you in a deranged state, the sight making your eyes widen for a second before hardening the next. You stood up from your seat.

“All this time I have thought about you and it led me to accepting the job. What did you expect Yeonjin? Did you expect me to come here everyday to see you when it is a known fact that you are never going to get out?”

“I am going to get out! I am going to-”

“Wake the fuck up Yeonjin! You are never getting out! You fucking killed people! You literally bullied people so badly that they much preferred death than spending another second living in the same world as you! And whats worse is that you don’t even feel remotely sorry for what you have done! It’s disgusting, and I can’t believe that I fell for you in the first place!”

Yeonjin could see it. Your lack for love for her. The previous affection and adoration you had for her before was completely vanquished from your body. All she was staring at was an ice cold individual who looked disgusted at the very sight of Yeonjin. She hated it. She detested it. It fucking terrified her. And it terrified her even more when you turned around and started to walk away from her.

“Yah! Where are you going?! Where the fuck are you going?! You can’t leave me here! You bitch, you can’t fucking leave me!”

Even when Yeonjin heard the shout of the prison guard behind her, she did not stop punching the plastic screen separating you and her from one another. You didn’t even turn back to look at her as she cursed and screeched at you. The sound of the door slamming as you exited the room was almost as lethal as a bullet to her heart. A bullet would have been less painful than the fact that you had presented her.

You were leaving.

And she had just been left behind.

Jeon Jae-jun

Prison did not suit him.

Jaejun has gone through literal hell being here, especially when it was discovered that he was a part of the higher society than the fucking animals that resided in these walls. The stunts that have pulled on him day and night, it was enough to make him to want to smash his fucking head against the concrete walls.

He was pissed over the fact he was in here in the first place. He paid a shit ton to his lawyer and men to make sure that all of his finances were clean, but its seemed like that asshole Myeong-oh purposefully left some documents laying around which allowed Jaejun to get arrested for tax evasion. He had been so fucking careful but the mess up by one asshole had brought him to a literal downfall.

If that asshole Myeong-oh wasn’t already dead, he would have fucking killed him.

You have tried your best to help him get through this, visiting him nearly five times a week to keep him some sort of company, although it hardly did shit because in the end you were able to leave this hellhole while he had to stay behind and deal with the down dogs that he was sharing his living quarters with. It also didn’t fucking help that you brought along his lawyer, attempting to keep him updated with his bail process but it kept coming to a damn dead end.

“If you want me to be realistic...you have about a 20% chance on being granted bail.” His lawyer said, his matter-of-fact tone making Jaejun tighten his fists in anger as he stared across from you and him from his side of the visitation table. He noticed you flash his lawyer a disheartened look before it brightened into a hopeful expression as you turned to look at Jaejun.

“But that is still better than nothing. I’m sure a miracle can happen and-”

“I don’t believe in fucking miracles Y/N. You fucking know that.” Jaejun snapped, shifting his gaze at you with a sharp edge. You immediately flinched at his tone and look, making him sigh and shaking his head to try get a hold of himself. ‘Forget it.”

“Jaejun, I-”

“Get out.” Jaejun suddenly ordered, snapping his head up at attention.

He noticed your eyes widened at his sudden order, shock and fear evident in them before they eventually settled away when you realized that he was not talking to you but to his lawyer. His lawyer was startled by Jaejun’s sudden harsh look on him, making him shift uncomfortably in his chair.

“Listen Jaejun, I know it is tough, but I-”

“Are you fucking deaf? I said get out!” Jaejun screeched, kicking his legs out for good measure as he shared at his lawyer, who immediately shot from his seat and scurried out of the room, leaving you and Jaejun alone. Once he disappeared from sight, Jaejun slumped into his seat, exhaustion suddenly washing over him.

“...Jaejun?” You meekly called out, causing him to lift his head in question as he took in your small frame. He sighed again before repositioning himself and staring at you with a solemn expression.

“How is Yesol?” He asked, anticipating and anxiety building up in his stomach as he looked at you for answers.

That was probably the worst part about him being in prison. He was missing out on his time with being with Yesol. The little girl was nearly the spitting image of Yeonjin when they were kids, but she no doubt had his adorable looks. He was a cute kid back in the day, and it was a no brainer for his kid to be adorable, which Yesol has evidently proven because she is the cutest thing that he has ever seen in his life. He was making a plan for her to finally become his, for the two of them to finally become a family. He wasn’t going to be an uncle to her anymore, he was going to be his father.

And Meyong-oh fucked up his plans perfectly with this fucking stunt.

You seemed almost hesitant to answer, glancing around nervously before you cleared your throat and slowly grabbed your bag and dug through its contents before pulling out your phone. He watched you unlock it and slide your finger across the screen multiple times before finally turning it around to show him a picture of Yesol in her soccer uniform, a smile on her face as she kicked a ball. A smile immediately crawled along Jaejun’s face as he looked at the photo, a light feeling filling his chest the longer he looked at it.

“She is adorable.” He uttered, genuine happiness evident in his face as he continued to look at the photo. “You got any more?”

“I...no.” You confessed, tugging your phone back and clutching it to your chest. “I...I got caught by the security guard and he tossed me off the grounds.”

“...Why the fuck did he do that? What right does he have?!” Jaejun suddenly yelled, picturing a large, beefy man forcefully pulling you away from the soccer field and Yesol. You looked at him meekly.

“I...because I wasn’t a parent, and...it also doesn’t help that I...I...”

“...You what?” Jaejun said, narrowing his eyes at your sudden nervous stammer. You gulped at his glare and didn’t say anything for a few moments before finally speaking again.

“I...got a restraining order against me for Yesol.”

...

“WHAT?!”

This time Jaejun leapt up from his seat as he screamed, making the prisoner guards immediately rush at him to force him back but he shook them off, snapping that he was fine before taking a seat again. His breathing was suddenly very uneven due to the progressive boiling of his blood.

“Why the fuck is there a restraining order against you?!”

“I...people started noticing me take photos of Yesol...and...and they found it suspicious and told Doyeong. He is the one that issued it against me.”

“That fucking asshole!” Jaejun screeching, earning himself another scolding yell from the prisoner guards which made him turn around to glare at all of them before turning back to you. “Can you reverse it?”

“W-What?”

“I asked if you can fucking reverse it. Can you?”

“I...I don’t know.”

“Then you better fucking find out! I need you to keep an eye on Yesol for me while I’m in this fucking hellhole. You need to get it reversed!”

“...I just told you that I got a restraining order against me...and you are concerned about Yesol?”

The look you gave him was a mixture of shock and disbelief, something which did not stir right with Jaejun. He cursed and rubbed his face before looking back at you.

“Listen, I know its bad but I need you to keep watching Yesol for me. Talk to my lawyer and he can start the process with reversing it. Out of all of this, Yesol is the most important person here.”

“...Jaejun, I can’t just break a restraining order. I...I’ll get into real trouble if I do.”

“So what! It’s for Yesol!” Jaejun suddenly screamed, making you jumping in your seat. “She’s my fucking daughter. Why the fuck wouldn’t you break a stupid piece a paper for her?!”

“Because she is not mine!”

Jaejun froze when the words left your lips. You also froze the moment you realized what you had said, staring wide-eyed at Jaejun before scurrying out of your seat, bag and phone gripped tightly in your hands. You shook your head at him as you slowly began to back away.

“I’m sorry Jaejun...but I can’t do it.”

You flashed him a remorseful look before scurrying away, leaving him in stunned silence until his mind finally clicked with your words, causing him to lash out and deliver several sharp punches against the plastic screen until he was forcefully restrained by the prisoner guards, your name leaving his mouth as he shouted blue murder as he was dragged away from the visitation room.

Lee Sa-ra

Sara could not stop shivering. It was not because it was cold but because her body was yearning for the sustenance she has been relying on for nearly eighteen years. She couldn’t help but dig her fingers into her hair, tugging at the strands harshly, feeling her scalp burn from the intense amount of force she was using. It was not much but it was a small sense of relief, but it did not do the job like the real thing did.

The tremors wouldn’t stop and Sara felt like she was losing her grip on her sanity the longer she stayed cooped up in this hellhole with no form of entertainment, inspiration, or pleasure.

“...Sara?”

...There was perhaps only one form of pleasure that she found in this hellhole and that was when you decided to visit her.

Sara raised her head from its hiding place on the table surface, her arms creating a tent over her head to protect her from the daylight while her hair hung loose around her face, curtaining her from the offensive sunlight. Although even though her hair was in her eyes, it did not properly conceal her vision of you, your beautiful face staring at her with worried eyes as you sat from side of the screen. A crooked smile crawled along her face along with an empty cackle as she released her hair and sat up more straightly in her seat.

“You are so pretty.” She uttered, cackling afterwards before leaning her cheek against her palm as she gazed at you lovingly.

But you did not flush like you usually did when Sara commentated on your beauty, you instead look even more worried. You scanned her shivering body from what you could see from the barrier between the two of you before looking back at her, your hand gliding along the table surface towards the plastic screen.

“Sara...” You said softly, your eyes intensifying in their worry as your fingertips reached the plastic, tapping rhythmically against them as you continued to gaze at her. “Are you okay?”

“...Do I look okay?”

Instead of saying the words with a harsh bite, Sara instead lowered her arm and face to the table, resting her chin against her flat forearm with her eyes drifting towards your tapping arms.

tap. tap. tap. tap.

She started tapping her own fingers in time with yours, matching their beat. The action made you sigh before you looked at her sadly.

“...No, you do not look okay.”

“...”

Sara didn’t say anything. She instead kept her focus on the tapping beat between your and her fingers.

tap. tap. tap. tap.

“Is there not anything that the doctors can give you? A pill, a sedative, or something?” You asked, genuine concern in your voice.

...Laughter broke out of Sara’s mouth before she could say or do anything else. She simply couldn’t control it. She turned her head into the table and continued to laugh into it for a good few minutes before finally turning her head back to face you, your eyes wide in horror as Sara continued to cackle over your suggestion.

“Sorry baby...but who in the hell is going to give someone like me a drug for my nerves? They are the reason I am here in the first place.”

Sara had to admit that Moon Dongeun really did play her into her tricky little web despite their best efforts to not be caught by the damn black widow. When she had said that she had come for revenge, she was not joking and Sara was paying her apparent price for the stupid things they had done to her when they were in high school. The thought of the woman immediately made Sara’s smile disappear, the action not going unnoticed by you as you moved your hand to instead press it fully against the plastic screen, your palm pressed against it.

“Sara, I’m worried about you.”

“Aww...that’s sweet.” Sara teased, cackling again as she pressed her cheek against her forearm to gaze at you horizontally, her own hand moving to press against the plastic screen to cover yours.

So close and yet so far.

“Sara I’m serious.”

“So am I.”

“I can’t stand seeing you like this.” You finally confessed, moving your hand from the screen to instead press your fingers into the speaker wholes that were provided in the screen. Sara didn’t hesitate to move her own hand until her fingertips were finally touching yours.

Her tremors stopped for a small moment. Her body responding to the small hint of warmth that you provided to her, the only kind of relief that she could find in this prison.

“...If you hate seeing me like this, why do you come?”

“Because I miss you.” You said immediately, your finger tips tightening over the edges of the plastic holes in the screen.

Sara gazed at you intensely, her previous lighthearted staring evaporated as she critically analyzed you from where you sat until finally softening her feature. Her tremors were subsided for the first time in weeks since she had been in here. For one moment, her mind finally felt at peace, and her body warmed at the single touch that your fingertips gave hers.

“I miss you too.”

“You will get out soon Sara, I know it.”

“...I hope so.”

Choi Hye-jeong

The cut on her lip still stung when she spike, and her left eye was almost completely swollen shut, making it difficult for her to even see you as you sat in the visitors seat while she sat on the opposite end. You didn’t even try to mask the gasp that had left your lips the second you saw her enter the room, the sound of it already breaking what was left of her already broken heart, which has been stomped on, cut, and bruised during her whole situation her.

Hyejeong felt like she was going to die. Death was quite possibly the only way that she would be able to save herself from this hell.

That damn Moon Dongeun...she completely ruined her life. She should be married by now, she should be on her honeymoon, being lavished in money and luxury while she would eagerly be awaiting to return to the city to be able to spend the rest of her time with you. She had it perfectly planned in her head, it was almost achieved too, but then she found herself suddenly being handcuffed by the police and led to a police vehicle and taken to the station for intense police questioning.

Hyejeong literally thought that her whole word was grinding to the edge of the universe when the words ‘accessory to murder’ had left the detective’s lips, along with the name of Sohee, who has been dead for practically eighteen years. Hyejeong immediately denied everything, refusing to accept any responsibility that Yeonjin had created when she decided to end the life of the high school student. But apparently there was proof for Hyejeong’s participation in the murder...even though there was no possible way for her to be involved with it because she was not there.

It had then dawned on Hyejeong that she was being framed by none other Moon Dongeun, the promise of revenge by the woman immediately ringing true as Hyejeong found herself being transported to a cell for the night until she was eventually transported to the prison. By the time she was eventually given the opportunity to call you, she had already been shipped off to the prison had been exposed to the multiple initiations of the women's prison.

“Hyejeong...” You uttered her name in such an anguished voice, the sound of it sending a wave of hurt and humiliation over her body as she ducked her head to avoid looking at you. “W-Why...”

“Because the people here are sick.” Hyejeong answered, not bothering to look up at you as she did not want to see the full damage to her face so up close.

“Hyejeong...” She heard a tremor in your voice and she glanced up to see tears forming in your eyes, your bottom lip trembling as you stared at her with a heartbroken expression. You lifted your hand and pressed it against the screen, your palm face her, almost as if you were trying to reach out to her. “Hyejeong...I am so sorry.”

“Don’t look at me with those eyes.” Hyejeong snapped, not reacting to your reaching hand as she ducked her head even further, her own hands tightened into fists in her lap as humiliation and pain continued to wash over her despite her attempts to stop it. “I can’t stand it.”

“Hyejeong-”

“Stop pitying me.” Hyejeong ordered, lifting her head to glare at you but then quickly returning it to its previous position in order to continue hiding it from you. She heard you tap against the screen.

“I’m not pitying you.”

“Yes you are.”

“No I’m not Hyejeong. I’m heartbroken for you.”

“That isn’t any better.”

“Dammit Hyejeong, you don’t deserve this!”

Your raised voice made Hyejeong raise her head to gaze at you in surprise, not expecting you to raise your voice so suddenly. You were breathing heavily on your end, tears running down your cheeks with your bottom lip still trembling. With her eyes on you, you swallowed thickly before adjusting your hand on the plastic screen so it was not directly between the two of you. It was instead resting on the lower part of the screen where it met the table, your arm laying flat against its surface.

“Out of all five of you, you are not the one who deserves to be in bars. It is all four of the others who deserve to be here. Not you.”

Hyejeong knew that she did not deserve to be here. While she was a part of Yeonjin’s gang when they were in high school, she was not the one who had done all the stuff to Sohee, Dongeun and all the others. She was just watching. That is what she did best. She was not actually the one who had participated in all the stupid things they did when they were kids. She was not the one who killed someone, it was Yeonjin.So it was complete injustice to her to be locked up like some kind of animal, beaten down constantly while the rest of the others were outside living their lives.

None of them even bothered to see her, which clearly told her that she was no longer obligated to save them from the wrath of Dongeun anymore.

“...I hate them.” Hyejeong confessed, finally moving her hand to cover yours against the screen. Your expression grew dark as you nodded.

“I hate them too.”

“I hope Dongeun will bring hell on all four of them. In fact, she can take them to hell with her.”

“And I will get you out of here Hyejeong. If it is the last thing I’ll do, I will get you out of here.”

“...”

Hyejeong tensed her fingers as they pressed against yours against the screen, her own hand aching from her defensive attempts during her time here, her knuckles covered in bruises which you had not yet noticed.

“...Please take care of me.”

“I will Hyejeong, I will.” You promised, it being the only form of comfort that Hyejeong could take while she was trapped in this hellhole.

She hoped that Yeonjin and the others burned in hell for this...and from what she has learnt so far, Moon Dongeun was effective in her revenge so she could only imagine what she had in store for those other assholes. Guess she did have a small comfort to think of during her time here. Hopefully it was be as good in person as it is in her head. Guess she will have to wait to find out.

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tiredmoonslut · 2 years

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I just finished S1 of Heartstopper and dare I say it....dare I say it....

I'm gonna say it. This is the sweetest piece of queer media I've ever seen. I'm sure there's more out there, but by god I am floored. Alice Oseman, can I please give you a hug?

I've never seen a show weave so deftly between my expectations. I expected a cute love story, and I got it. But what I did not expect was for the story to be so...graceful.

I'll be honest, at first glance I had low expectations for this show. The growth of queer media since the release of Love, Simon (especially MLM media) is a fantastic thing, and I'm so happy it's happening, but part of becoming mainstream is that a lot of mediocrity will come to fill the gaps. Having no prior awareness that Heartstopper was a comic series (my bad), I'd shallowly judged it as such.

Holy fuck was I wrong oh my fucking god

This show is a gift. And what makes it amazing is, as I said, how gracefully executed it is.

This show writes itself. Two teens meet-cute and have a sweet forbidden love. We all know how that goes. We even know how the gay version of that goes. But Heartstopper? It said "we see you, and raise you this". It is two teens meet-cuting and having a sweet forbidden love. But the show takes one look at all the potential tropes inherent there, and says, "nah".

Case in point. Nick. Fucking. Nelson. You are a national treasure, and I will thank Alice Oseman eternally for bringing you to me, you sweet, sweet boy. Nick's story could have been very traditional, as far as gay stories go. Masc athlete discovers he likes guys and has a crisis. Cue the internalized disgust, angry outbursts, emotional victimization, and relationship toxicity, followed by a hasty resolution that "fixes" the relationship and offers only a mildly satisfying conclusion. But what Heartstopper did so, so beautifully, is make Nick Nelson kind.

It sounds so bare minimum when viewed that way, but that is the problem. Too often in queer stories, it is either A) about the suffering of being queer, or B) about the aftermath of the suffering. Neither is uplifting, optimistic, or even nice to see represented, all the time. We've all lived it. Seeing it told so callously on a screen isn't vindicating. It's rude. Nick Nelson flies in the face of that phenomenon, simply by being kind. He is a masculine athlete who finds out he likes guys and has a bit of a crisis. But he never lashes out at Charlie, never scoffs and says "I'm not gay!", never shouts Charlie down or shames him.

From moment ONE, Nick is completely self-aware. He knows his own confusion could do harm to Charlie, so he doesn't make it Charlie's responsibility. He's proactive. He talks to people. He gets honest with himself. Soul-searches. Opens up to his feelings. Why? Because he wants to be happy, and because he is committed to kindness.

Highlighting that turned Heartstopper from a predictable gay love story into something life-giving, and warm, and adorable, and so unapologetically queer. This was underscored by Elle's storylines. Seeing a black trans girl like myself fit so perfectly into the main cast of characters and be treated with the utmost respect the entire time added years to my lifespan. Seeing an interracial lesbian couple navigate their relationship with such grace was beautiful.

And seeing all of those unique perspectives blend so easily into a unified, unapologetically queer friend group was so accurate to my own experiences as a queer individual that I found myself tearing up as I watched. This is the gooey, dramatic, teeny-bopper queer love story every queer kid deserves to be able to watch, and I literally cannot wait to get my hands on the graphic novels and the next two seasons of the show. I love it so much.

#okay I'm shutting up now #I just am so happy #heartstopper #nick nelson #charlie spring #narlie #heartstopper netflix #joe locke #kit connor #alice oseman

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sparklepirate · 8 months

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Alright, final thoughts on Inheritance.

;-;

Eragon continues to be the guy of all time. I love him. He really displayed a maturity in this book that I think supersedes anything we've seen of him in all the previous books, and just like... His strength really is that he is compassionate and thoughtful towards everyone. Even Murtagh, now, too. He had the realization of how close he was to sharing his fate, sought to understand him, and that was ultimately what led him to realizing his true name had changed, tearing down Galbatorix's wards, etc etc. I don't know that I could properly articulate everything about him here, but Eragon definitely became the hero he needed to be by the end of the series, 100%. He is the only person who could've possibly thought of the final piece of magic to defeat Galbatorix. Even the dreams of starlings are equal to the worries of a king. Ahhh, it's so good. ❤️ I'm so proud of him.

On the other hand, Barst was some bullshit. Bro. Like, on the one hand, it was a very good climactic battle for Roran to participate in, and his triumph was the perfect culmination of his character- cunning in battle, cunning in strategy, the intelligence and charisma to sway everyone around him into cooperating and working together, sheer determination so intensely strong that he was able to crush and Eldunarí with his bare hands. His role was perfect! But Barst as a villain was kinda... Well, first of all, he came completely the fuck out of nowhere. He wasn't mentioned at all until they were already on their way to Uru'baen, and then he was only MENTIONED. They didn't hype him up enough before the actual battle in my opinion. And ONE human and one Eldunarí being enough to beat the QUEEN OF THE ELVES in hand to hand combat...? I mean, I guess that could work but... Ehhh... I dunno. It kind of felt like an excuse for Islanzadí to die, and Roran to triumph more than anything. It was cool, but it was probably the weakest part of the plot in my opinion.

That said though I think it's pretty safe to say this was my favorite book of the series. I'm having trouble recalling all the iconic shit (I took a pretty long break from reading about halfway through the book) but there was soooo much cool stuff in here. The Nasuada being kidnapped and being helped by Murtagh arc is GOLD, Vroengard was amazing, and all the battles were SO well written??? I need to study these books more closely just to learn how to write compelling fight scenes. Honestly, it's gripping stuff. I was on the edge of my seat, despite knowing how everything turns out.

Nasuada is amazing, Arya is amazing, Saphira is amazing, Roran is amazing, MURTAGH is amazing... I think I already liked basically every character in this series going in, but I somehow like them even more now that I've read it again. Everyone is so good, and interesting, and I want to be everyone's friend. I think the only character I liked less this go around was Orrin (sorry to my Orrin stan friend out there). That said, though, I don't dislike him, I think I just went from positive to neutral about him.

Orrin honestly just didn't get nearly as much screen time as I remembered? We only see him a handful of times throughout the book and each time the only thing he's doing is getting drunk and making an ass of himself, though... Idk, he also has a point? He has his own unique point of view, and his own unique experiences that lead him to his own ideas of how to conduct things, and it is definitely kind of true that like no one ever really listens to him or takes him seriously, despite being the King of Surda for w while at that point. I don't think there was a more graceful solution to the division of power/territory after Galbatorix was killed than what was decided upon, because like... Realistically, Orrin was never gonna be high king. He had good reason to assert for the throne, sure, but actually ascending to the throne? That is SUCH a far reach for power, unless the aim was to assimilate Surda in and have all of the humans under one crown. Nah, Nasuada giving up territory and ascending to the throne was the better choice, even if I do empathize with Orrin's point of view. It seems like Nasuada did as well, because even though she was persistent, she seemed to be gentle and sympathetic with him. He even had his line about like... "Why do you even want to do this?" "None of you would understand." Idk. Very interesting, but not tremendously notable compared to others, and he definitely was a bit of an asshole at times.

Murtagh my beloved my BELOVED I'm honestly just gonna make a whole separate essay post about him because his shit is Complicated™️ but one little note it was such a small detail at the end but I love that he said to Eragon "Hey check in on Arya about killing Shruikan. It couldn't have been easy for an elf to kill a dragon." And Eragon hadn't even THOUGHT of that and Arya probably would've been the last thing on his mind but he still was just so thoughtful. He is thoughtful like his brother and he cares so deeply and AHHH!!! And actually I want to see him and Arya be buds. I think they would have a cool dynamic. And also I love that he never once hesitated to acknowledge Eragon as his brother and just wanted to be with him and finally Eragon also acknowledged him as a brother too that last scene with them was just so good 🥹

Also I love how Thorn's like only spoken line in the whole series (until November) is to boop Eragon on the forehead and say "Hi. Thank you for not killing my rider. :)" and Murtagh is just like "Yeah thanks for that. 😒"

Love how quick Saphira and Fírnen hit it off lol. They really played tag and wrestled for like five minutes and then were like "Alright we're gonna go fuck like now see y'all later ✌️" And Eragon's like "Is this??? Okay???" And Saphira's like "Pfft dragon's don't mate for life 🤷‍♀️" Their little romance was so cute.

CAN WE FUCKING TALK ABOUT QUEEN AND RIDER ARYA??? That shit is by FAR the wildest endgame decision Chris made because like. That. That's so fucking. Oh my god??? Like, one, poor Arya!! She just wanted to be a rider and have adventures! She probably would've either spent her time happy herrying eggs across Alegaësia, or she would've gone with Eragon to Mount Arngor, but you can NOT convince me that she would be particularly happy as queen. She's grieving the loss of her mother that she barely had a relationship with, and denied the other eleven leaders for a full week before they convinced her to do it!!! Girlie!!! You deserve to be happy!!! And, two, the obvious point of holy shit that is such an enormous power imbalance in favor of the elves. Like, there is a REASON the riders were separate in the first place!! And, you know, Galbatorix JUST died and now there is another rider/monarch and it's the ELVES who have historically been both the most powerful race, and the race with the best relationship with the dragons. And Arya is the ONLY RIDER LEFT IN ALEGAËSIA!!! Because Eragon is gone (and stubbornly convinced that He Shall Never Again Return Oh Woe Is Him) and Murtagh is... Also gone to an extent. He at the very least holds no political power. Basically everyone hates him, and those that don't can't do more than, like, pardon him, for whatever that's worth. I just can't see this not rubbing people the wrong way, and not coming to an eventual head. Nasuada and Arya are both great, but I just get the feeling there is going to eventually be some sort of conflict between them, no matter how much neither of them want it. I do think Arya is perhaps the least corruptible person, other than maybe Eragon but... I don't knowwww maaaan it's complicated!!

Also I regret to inform everyone that rereading the last little bit did make me ship Eragon and Arya a teensy tinsy itty little bit. Just a liiiiittle bit. Like idk the last fairth and the telling each other their true names and calling each other their true names and Eragon's grief at leaving and his vow to love her forever and her insinuation of maybe one day just got to me alright???

There were a lot of cool magic things in this book! Like the pocket space that the Eldunarí were kept in? Cuaroc's body? More shit that I'm forgetting? God I would just love, like, a magical encyclopedia or something idk. Lots of cool shit. And artifacts!! I want to learn about more magical artifacts.

Also at my Galbatorix stan mutual? I'm a certified Murtagh Girlie™️ and therefore obligated to hold a grudge but like. I do get it. He is a... Very competent villain.

Alright I think that's it for now but. Wow. Man oh man. There is a reason I love this series. I'll probably think of some more things to talk about later, and I'm gonna be participating in the Big Bang, and I'll probably post about The Fork, The Witch, and The Worm as I reread that but yeah!!! Can't wait for November!!

#can't WAIT for November!!!#ashna reads the inheritance cycle #inheritance cycle #eragon #inheritence #murtagh morzansson #saphira #murtagh thornsrider #nasuada #roran stronghammer

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lostinwoso · 2 years

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My Birthday is on Friday, would you write a jessie fleming one where the Team finds out their dating. Maybe reader moves clubs so they can spend more time together.

Only if you would like, no worries 🤍

Finally Together (Jessie Fleming x Reader)

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you have an amazing day! (Save me a drink)

When Jessie and you started dating, you two agreed to keep it quiet between you both, wanting to figure out if this would work out before other people get included.

It didn't take long for you two to find out that the relationship between you both works out great, but you still never got to the point of informing your respective teammates around you about it.

And for you, it seems like you won't even get to that. A call from your agent earlier informed you that Chelsea is interested in signing you, and that your club already seemed to have agreed to let you leave if you want to go.

Jessie and you often talked about how nice it would be if you two would be at the same club or at least one closer to one another, so when you got the call, it was a no-brainer for you to agree to play for Chelsea.

You decided to break the news to your girlfriend at one of your daily FaceTime calls.

"I got some news.", you tell her, after you both informed each other about your day.

You can see Jessie raise her eyebrows on the little screen, "Good news?", she wonders.

"I would say so, yea.", you reply shrugging your shoulders, "Then let's hear it.".

"I'm leaving my club.", you tell her, and you can see the confusion on her face, you always seemed happy at your club, so why would you consider leaving it as good news?

"I thought you liked playing there, how is that good news?".

"I'm leaving for a club in the WSL.", your words seem to take a moment for Jessie to wrap her head around, "You what? We finally will be in the same country?", she rushes excited out after a moment.

Nodding your head in answer, a grin spreads on her face, "That's amazing, wait, what club tho?", she asks, wanting to know how close exactly you two would be to one another.

You just send her a grin, confusing her for a moment before she understands, "No way! No damn way!", she almost yells out.

"Yes way!", you laugh out, "You are going to join me here at Chelsea?", the emotions in her words are clear, it almost sounds too good to be true.

Nodding your head again, you reply, "Yes, we will be together at Chelsea.", tears of happiness building in both your eyes, not believing that you would finally be close to each other.

___

The next day, when Jessie walked into the training facility, everyone was able to tell that something was going on, because the girl couldn't stop smiling the entire day and seemed more chatty than usual.

"What is up with you today? I have never seen you this happy before.", Magda asks the Canadian, who in return shrugs her shoulders, "It's just a really nice day today.", her smile not faltering once, while she packs her training bag up after a successful session.

Magda shares a look with Pernille when the young midfielder walks out of the locker room to go home, yelling, "Goodbye!", over her shoulder before disappearing from their sight, "That was weird.", the defender mutters to herself before packing her own stuff up.

___

The weeks leading up to where the transfer would finally be confirmed were spent with Jessie telling you about all the plans she already made for the both of you and what places you have to see.

A few days later you were now in London, getting a tour from one of the Chelsea training stuff before it was time to get introduced to the team as their new teammate.

When it was time for that, the team got called together after the end of the training session, Jessie of course knew what was about to happen and due to not being able to meet up before you would be introduced she could barely contain her excitement to finally see you again.

Magda puts her arm around her shoulder, "Calm down, you seem like you are about to take off, what's going on, you already were like that a few weeks ago?", she questions, again curious about what could cause the out of character behavior from Jessie.

Before she can receive any answers, you walk out onto the field, Jessie's smile getting even bigger. Magda notices this and shares a questioning look between you two, catching the smile you send the Canadian.

"Everyone this is Y/N, she will be joining us here, please make her feel welcomed.", the trainer introduces you, quickly getting swarmed by your new teammates after who are eager to meet you.

Saving Jessie for last, you pull her into a big hug, but making sure not to stay too long before it could cause speculations among the team. But Magda already has her eyes on the both of you, wondering if there could be something between you two with the way the midfielder behaved.

___

A few weeks pass and Jessie and you seemed to be attached to each other, where one you were, the other wouldn't be far either, causing some teasing and questioning from your teammates, which you two would always try to ignore.

It's not that you two weren't ready to tell them that you were dating, you just didn't know how and when.

However, it seems like that you wouldn't even need to tell them after a slip up from you two.

It was team movie night, and it was Jessie's and yours turn to host said evening. Since the team had a busy week, you two almost forgot about that until one of the girls, send a text saying they will be there at 6.

In panic, you two realize that there wouldn't be enough snacks and drinks for everyone, so you decided to go out and buy some more while Jessie cleaned the apartment up a little.

Thanks to the traffic, it takes you a little longer to get to the store and back home but when you do arrive you set your keys down with a sigh, "I'm back love!".

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion when you don't receive an answer, walking into the living room, you are surprised by the sight of all your teammates already sitting there. Glancing at the clock on the wall, you realize that it's already past 6, "Oh.".

Locking eyes with Jessie, you send her an apologetic look, before chaos broke out.

"Love?"

"You two are dating?" . - "Are you really surprised?", "I mean no but.."

"Knew it! Pay up Niamh!", turning to look at Sam you send her a look, "Really, you bet on us?", the forward shrugs her shoulder, deadpanning, "Yea, it was obvious.".

Seeing that some of your teammates were ready to continuing the questions, you speak up, "Yes, Jessie and are dating, can we all calm down again now?".

"For how long?", Pernille asks, curious about how long you two have kept this a secret for.

Jessie decides to answer that one, "Almost two years.", "You managed to keep this a secret for two years? -Damn."

"Any more questions or can we finally start the movie?", you ask into the round, and almost immediately hands shot up, wanting to ask more about. Sighing, you realize that it might now take a while before you could actually start the movie night.

___

After a few more questions, you actually did watch a movie, which ended moments ago, so everyone is getting ready to leave, when Magda speaks up, "I knew you were behaving weird, you two are cute together though.", causing Jessie to blush as you were not there to hear the words, muttering a, "Thank you.", when they hug before everyone leaves.

Closing the door, you turn to Jessie, "I'm sorry, I thought it wasn't that late yet.", your girlfriend sends you a smile, pulling you into her, "It's okay, it was hilarious seeing their reactions, actually.", she admits.

Laughing quietly when you remember their expressions when you walked in, you agree, "It was funny, I still can't believe Sam bet on us.", "It's Sam what did you expect?", she asks you, causing you to shrug your shoulders.

"I don't know but what I do know is that I need some sleep after that interrogation earlier.", you yawn, "Alright let's get to bed then.", Jessie says, pulling you towards your shared bedroom.

#jessie fleming x reader #jessie fleming imagines #jessie fleming imagine #woso x reader #woso imagines #woso imagine

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youhideastar · 7 months

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Fit for Purpose Deleted Scenes V: Jiang Cheng

Today's deleted scenes from Fit for Purpose deal with Jiang Cheng - a topic I know a lot of commenters were curious about. Other deleted scenes posts are linked in the masterpost. I hope you enjoy!

Jiang Cheng haunts Fit for Purpose like a ghost. He barely shows up “on screen”—his only significant appearances are in the Xuanwu Cave scene and subsequent rescue—but his expectations of WWX and WWX’s desire to meet them are a driving force of the story. A big reason WWX can’t accept LWJ’s love at first is that WWX feels he needs his family’s permission to have a life of his own, and he’s sure as hell not going to get it from JC; even if, ultimately, JC might be willing to accept WWX having that life, he’s not going to say it. In the end, WWX gets that permission from the only other surviving member of the family he was raised to serve: Jin Ling. But part of the reason Jin Ling’s permission “works” is that, when he speaks, JC is speaking through him:

“Idiot,” Jin Ling says again, rolling his eyes. It’s so familiar.

Wei Wuxian smiles. His vision is blurry with tears, and he doesn’t care. “Jin Ling?”

“What?” Jin Ling scowls as he says it; that, too, is so familiar it makes Wei Wuxian’s chest ache.

Only once WWX has been “released” from his duties as a beta (as he sees them) by JL and, by proxy, JC, can he accept the happiness he’s being offered by LWJ. (Btw, the discovery that I could get around JC’s emotional constipation by having JL say things that JC wouldn’t was life-changing. 🤣 I’m definitely using my newfound power for evil in future fics haha.)

Ultimately, I’m really happy with the way that JC looms over the story, discernable mostly secondhand or in glimpses, not seen or heard directly except once. But there was a period where I felt like that was a bug, not a feature.

There came a point where, to preserve the structure of the story (alternating present day with flashbacks) I needed to come up with one last flashback scene, which would be the final flashback chronologically (the JYL flashback, which is the final one, is the only one out of chronological order – it had to be that way). I convinced myself that that missing flashback scene needed to have to do with JC, precisely because he shows up so little. Plus, I knew readers would be very curious about what JC’s take on all the beta stuff was (and comments confirm this!) I rewatched the entire post-resurrection arc, trying to find a scene that I could use. Ultimately, I realized trying to feature JC was a mistake, and I went with the Episode 50 NHS scene instead, where WWX thinks about how NHS brought him back to life in order to use him. But I wasted a week of drafting trying to get JC to talk about his feelings, and here’s how it went:

First, a take on the scene where WWX and LWJ bow in the Jiang family shrine. Because this follows the “I do not want to be to Wei Ying what others have been”/So then what do you want to be to me? scene, I liked the idea of WWX very blatantly discounting the idea that he could possibly be marrying LWJ.

As they complete their bows in the Jiang family shrine and sit back on their heels, Wei Wuxian half-laughs under his breath as something occurs to him: three bows, in front of his—well, the fact that Jiang-shushu and Yu-furen aren’t his parents is only one of a long list of things that separates these three bows from a wedding, starting with the fact that Wei Wuxian isn’t qualified.

“Wei Ying.”

He turns. Lan Zhan is watching him patiently.

“It’s nothing,” he says, shaking his head. He’d been so cavalier about that when they were kids – messing with Lan Zhan’s forehead ribbon, trying to touch it all the time. He knows better now.

He wants to be careful with Lan Zhan, now.

JIANG CHENG SHOWS UP.

“Bad enough you go wandering around Lotus Pier like it belongs to you,” A-Cheng snarls, as Wei Wuxian scrambles to his feet. “But you come to disturb my parents, my sister, with this… this farce?”

Jiang Cheng, on the other hand, understands perfectly that this is meant to be a wedding.

“A-Cheng—”

“Don’t. You. Dare.”

WWX calling JC and JYL “A-Cheng” and “Jiejie” is one of the subtle but extremely key worldbuilding motifs. He gets that extra piece of intimacy, compared to canon… but oh, the price he pays for it.

“Jiang Cheng. Lan Zhan and I just came to pay our respects—”

“Is that what you call it?” A-Cheng looks away. “You always had to be so extreme. It’s not enough for you to abandon Yunmeng Jiang Sect and our family – you have to do it right in front of my parents, and expect them to bless this—this—”

“I’m not asking Yu-furen and Jiang-shushu to bless anything. We just came to light incense.”

“That’s not what I saw. You never had any shame. But you, Lan-er-gongzi – everyone says you’re so upright.”

JC thinks of WWX marrying mostly in terms of him leaving the sect (although he also calls a wedding involving a beta a “farce”). Hypocritical, since WWX has very much already been kicked out and made unwelcome! But a JC who was of only one mind about whether he wants WWX to come back would be, frankly, totally unrecognizable. The ambivalence is baked-in.

Ultimately, that scene was not contributing to the arc of the story for a number of reasons, starting with the fact that it was way too long, and it pulled the focus away too much from LWJ and WWX. JC has a way of taking over scenes that he’s in. 🤣 He’s so loud!

So then I’m like, okay, let’s do the climactic convo in Guanyin Temple. One advantage: it’s so salient to fans that I barely need to do any setup to establish where and when we are.

“Wei Wuxian.” The flickering light of hundreds of candles plays over A-Cheng’s face, taut with rage. A drop of blood falls from the wound on his chest onto the temple floor. “Do you want me to bow down in thanks for your selflessness? Should I put my face to the floor and apologize for not acknowledging your noble sacrifice—”

“It wasn’t any of those things,” Wei Wuxian says. His hands ache, clenched in his lap. “It wasn’t noble, or selfless, I didn’t do it to be acknowledged, I—it was my duty, A-Cheng, that’s all it w—”

“I don’t want your duty!” A-Cheng screams, his face a mask of pain. “I want—”

He chokes. Coughs. Blood trickles over his lower lip.

Before he can finish wiping it away, Jin Guangyao returns. There’s no time, then, for A-Cheng to finish what he meant to say.

It doesn’t make sense, Wei Wuxian thinks, remembering it later. What was the whole promise of the Twin Heroes of Yunmeng about, if not about duty?

I was pretty sure that it would be clear to readers that JC is saying he doesn’t want WWX’s duty, he wants WWX’s love. If I could have gotten this scene to write, it would have been a really nice complement to the final Jin Ling scenes – showing that WWX’s inability to understand that he is loved unconditionally ultimately sabotages his family relationships as well as his relationship with LWJ.

But the scene would not write, partly because JC is wrong. Yes, he wants WWX’s love, and wants WWX to stay with him and serve him out of love. But he also wants WWX’s duty. He wants WWX to keep his promises. He wants WWX to fill the role that society has ordained for him, just the way JC himself feels constrained to do, for all his life. Again: the ambivalence is baked-in.

And I trusted readers would know that – that they would have the same question WWX has at the end of this scene. But having WWX flag it both felt clumsy and failed to provide closure to the scene. And not flagging it at all, letting JC’s statement to unchallenged, would have damaged my credibility with readers who might think they were expected to take JC’s statement at face value.

Undeterred, I took another swing at Guanyin Temple.

“Wei Wuxian!” In Guanyin Temple, the flickering light of hundreds of candles plays over A-Cheng’s face, taut with anguish. “Do you want me to bow down in thanks for your selflessness? Should I put my face to the floor and apologize for not acknowledging your noble sacrifice?”

“A-Cheng. Stop,” says Wei Wuxian. He’s so tired. He wishes they’d never come here. “That wasn’t—it wasn’t noble. It was just… what I owed to Yunmeng Jiang—”

“What you owed? What you owed us was to stay!” A-Cheng snarls, eyes wet. His clenched hands rise to his chest. “That’s what it means to have a beta, they stay – A-Jie got married and left, we knew she would get married and leave, but you—we were supposed to be everything to you. You promised… we’d be everything to you.”

He looks so young, for a moment; breakable. Wei Wuxian aches.

Then the lines of age and pain carve themselves into his brother’s face again. “Your home, your family… that’s enough for every other beta. But not for the great Wei Wuxian,” A-Cheng finishes bitterly, as he turns away.

Wei Wuxian aches. “You were enough, A-Cheng—”

“No,” A-Cheng spits, low. “You had to have your heroics. You had to have him.” He jerks his head at Lan Zhan, who looks coldly back. “The great Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Laozu, could never have been just a sect leader’s subordinate. Every other sect has betas who act like a beta should act. Who know their place. I’ll never know what Yunmeng Jiang did to deserve you.”

I think this scene is on the right track, actually. But it raises issues that just cannot be resolved in a little half-page vignette. You can see me trying to bring the focus back to Wangxian at the end of this bit, but it’s not enough – JC is yet again taking up all the air in the room, bless his heart. And it would have been a distraction.

It was at this point that I realized that I didn’t need to shove more JC into the story, because he’s already so present, even if only by implication. And if readers were curious about his role, it wouldn’t do the story any harm to let them come to their own conclusions.

For what it’s worth, my take is that JC has no problem with the way that society treats betas – and why should he? He’s been raised to believe that this is all totally normal. And don’t forget, WWX’s sexual availability is framed by alphas and omegas as a benefit to WWX, something they’re jealous of, “oh, how lucky for you that you can have sex with whoever you want instead of just your spouse!” It’s not that he sees WWX being taken advantage of and is okay with it—he does not perceive WWX to be taken advantage of in the first place. And that makes sense, because neither does WWX! But, at the same time, JC loves WWX very much, and he demonstrates with his actions again and again that he doesn’t buy the idea that WWX’s life is worth less than his, or that it’s WWX’s purpose to sacrifice himself for JC. To me, that’s peak JC: do not expect him to challenge structural oppression, but by God, he will walk to hell and back on bare feet for the people he loves.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! Tomorrow's batch of deleted scenes specifically focus on Wangxian.

#the untamed #my writing #deleted scene #fit for purpose #cql fic #wangxian

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steddio · 1 year

Text

steddie vegas au part 6

part 1; part 2; part 3; part 4; part 5; ao3

After a sleepless night, Steve barely manages to get himself into work on time. He’d spent the entire morning in bed instead of going to his yoga class, unable to motivate to do anything except think about Eddie and have a sad wank with his face buried in the shirt he’d worn to the concert. He feels pathetic, because most of him remembers that helping guests is his job, and last night meant nothing. But a stupid, persistent part of him can’t help but be overjoyed that in his moment of need, Eddie had called him.

He’s so sleep-deprived, he doesn’t notice the giant vase of roses on the concierge desk until Tammy points them out to him with a wink and a joke about his “secret admirer.” They’re beautiful, a rich, red color that starkly contrasts with the hotel florist’s tendency toward white. He waits until he’s alone before tearing into the card. It’s empty except for a scribbled heart and the letter E.

Steve’s heart jumps into his throat. He was a married man, he knows there’s only one reason to send red roses. Before he can talk himself out of it, he dials Eddie’s room. It rings four times before someone picks up, and Steve’s ready to burst out of his skin with anticipation. He hears a brusque “hello” and recognizes Chrissy’s voice.

“Chrissy, hi, it’s Steve. Is Eddie there?” There’s nothing but silence on the other end. Finally she asks coldly, “What do you want?”

And shit. He’d been so elated by the flowers he’d forgotten his gargantuan fuck-up. “I just want to talk to him again. I got his flowers. And– and after last night, I just want to see if he’s okay. To tell him I’m sorry, I should never have left that morning, and I’ve been trying to talk to him all week, and I think if I could just see him, it would be okay.” He’s pleading now, and he can hear the desperation in his own voice but refuses to feel embarrassed. Not about this.

“Why didn’t you just text him?” Chrissy sounds exasperated.

“Text.. him? How could I…?” And fuck, Steve is an even bigger idiot than he thought. He hadn’t even thought to text Eddie, had forgotten that he had Eddie’s number from when he’d sent Steve the tickets. Instead he’d been waiting patiently at the desk like a dog, sending forlorn glances in Eddie’s direction, begging to be noticed.

“Shit, Chrissy. I didn’t even think–. I forgot I had his number.”

He hears a slow exhale, and then Chrissy must take pity on him and all his idiocy. “Okay, Steve. Okay. So what do you want me to do about this?”

“Please just. Can you tell him thank you for me?” And then, staring at those red roses, Steve decides to go out on a limb. “And, um, tell him that if he wants to see me, I’d love to show him my favorite part of Vegas. I can text him details.”

There’s a brief moment of silence in which Steve thinks Chrissy will tell him to go to hell, and then there’s a syrupy voice on the line.

“Hi Steve-o.”

Steve almost drops the phone and scrambles to put it back to his ear.

“I’m glad you got my flowers. I’d love to see Vegas through your eyes. Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” Steve tells him breathlessly. He starts to say more, but Eddie has already hung up.

Frantically he grabs his phone and scrolls through his message app until he sees the unsaved number that sent him the tickets. He only takes a brief moment to mentally berate himself before he starts typing.

Steve: Eddie, thank you, I’m sorry, and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow to tell you that in person. 1 pm at Lone Mountain Trailhead?

It takes all of Steve’s willpower to not stare at the screen until Eddie responds, but he forces himself to put his phone in a desk drawer and start actually working. When he checks later, he sees a small thumbs up on his sent message.

–

“Robin, how can I possibly make it up to him? I messed up so bad! It was one thing to leave, but another to completely forget that I had his number. He must think I’m such an asshole for not texting him!”

He’d called Robin in a panic after work, and even though she complained (loudly and gratuitously) about already being in her pajamas and settled into bed, she’d driven over to his apartment to talk him down off a ledge.

“I’m not gonna lie to you, it’s pretty bad,” she tells him, chewing thoughtfully on a gummy worm. “But, he sent you flowers. So he’s definitely open to being apologized to. You just have to squirm a little.”

“I’m definitely squirming, Robs,” Steve says dejectedly and shoves a handful of jelly beans in his mouth. This situation had called for an even better coping mechanism than skinny girl margarita. “I just feel like such a fuck-up.”

Suddenly Robin lets out a squeak and claps one hand over her mouth. “Holy shit, Steve. Oh no. Oh no no no. I think I messed up.”

“Robin, I love you, but can we not make it about you right now?” Steve gets up to grab himself a fresh bag of jelly beans.

“No, dingus, this is still about you. I may have, kind of, said something to Chrissy.”

Steve turns toward her and gestures for her to hurry up and spit it out. Robin continues, “I was totally freaking out, okay, about the photo, and I want to emphasize that this was just a moment of panic and did not actually turn out to be the case, but I may have said…”

Steve wants to shake her but eventually Robin gets out in a rush, “ImayhaveimpliedthathookingupwithEddiewasafuckup.”

“What?” Steve tries to comprehend. “Why would you say that?”

Robin is hedging, but he hits her with the dad glare and she caves. “I just, you know how you were so worried that the photo would cause problems with your family? And of course they were totally fine, Nancy and Max love you so much, you didn’t need to worry at all, but I’d had the same thought. And since you’d told me what had happened years ago, I was worried for you, and I may have… implied… that you couldn’t afford another mistake.”

“And Chrissy heard this?” Steve can’t make his spinning mind settle on a coherent train of thought. “Which means, Eddie heard this? Eddie thinks I think he was a mistake?”

“I don’t know,” Robin practically wails. “Probably! I’m so sorry, Steve, I was just so panicked for you–”

Steve cuts her off with a hug. He can’t blame her. He’d had the same thought, at his lowest moment, that he’d fucked up again. “It’s okay, Robs.” He kisses the top of her head. “It’s okay, I’ll fix it. I can fix this. I just have to convince Eddie that he wasn’t a mistake, that he’s the best thing to happen to me in a long time.”

–

Eddie stares out the window of his uber as the flashy lights of the strip fade into brown suburbs and then even browner desert. He’s running 20 minutes late because he hadn’t known what to wear (what do people wear to do athletic-y things while also trying to re-seduce a DILF? He still has no idea) and he’d almost bailed at the last minute. The soothing sound of Steve’s voice and the familiar rhythm of the AA meeting had pushed him back into quiet acceptance last night, no longer riding the edge of self destruction. But he still feels rattled, fragile.

The flowers had been a moment of weakness, or so he thought at the time. And then while hearing Steve groveling on the phone to Chrissy, he’d had a malicious thought that they may have been a stroke of evil genius. But now he thinks they were actually so much more. A way of putting his heart on his sleeve, an olive branch, and a siren song. Because after everything, he still wants Steve. Hasn’t been able to stop thinking about him. And he so badly wants to let himself believe that Steve didn’t abandon him on purpose. Wants both badly enough to haul his decidedly-not-an-outdoor-person self out to a trailhead.

When his uber pulls into the parking lot, he sees Steve slumped dejectedly against the trunk of his car, head in his hands. He’s wearing ungodly short running shorts that show the golden length of his legs, and his hair is pulled back under a baseball cap. Eddie just sits there staring until his driver coughs politely and he picks his jaw off the floor and gets out. Steve looks up at the sound of the car door closing and Eddie watches as his emotions flow from surprise to relief to apprehension to joy. He waves awkwardly as Steve jogs over, grinning.

“Eddie, you made it! I’m so glad to see you, I didn’t know if you’d come.” Steve starts to go in for a hug and then pulls back with a pained look.

“Here I am,” Eddie shrugs. He has a million questions, so much he wants to say to Steve, but he settles for, “shall we?”

“Yeah, totally, let’s go,” Steve gives him a sideways smile and they walk side by side to where the trail starts.

“This hike has one of the best views of the city,” Steve explains, “and I promise it’s short and not too steep.”

“How dare you think I can’t handle a steep hike,” Eddie says with a straight face, only to crack into laughter at Steve’s panicked expression. After a moment, Steve laughs too, and Eddie thinks he’s never heard a more beautiful sound.

They walk in silence for a few minutes, Eddie trying and failing to understand how Steve isn’t sweating profusely but instead almost glistening in the heat. When Steve starts to talk, Eddie almost doesn’t catch what he’s saying, he’s so distracted by the way Steve’s hair is curling against his neck.

“Eddie, I–. I want you to know that I’m so, so sorry. For leaving, for not texting you, for everything. If it’s okay with you, I want to share something. That doesn’t excuse my behavior, but might explain it.”

Steve looks so cautiously earnest that Eddie is tempted to tell him there’s no need, that he’s already forgiven, that he was forgiven the moment he called Eddie sweetheart and saved him from himself. But he can tell Steve wants to tell him, and he wants to know. He nods, and Steve takes a deep breath.

“You know I was married. My daughter, Max, her mom Nancy and I were high school sweethearts. We married young because Nancy got pregnant, and it was hard, for years, but Nancy and I were always a team.”

Steve pauses and Eddie tries not to be jealous of Steve’s ex-wife, to focus on controlling his breathing as they make their way uphill.

Steve continues, “I’d always known I liked men. But I liked women, too, and I loved Nancy. And for a while, it was enough. But when Max started school, I began to feel like something was missing. I was restless. Nancy caught on, we’d always told each other everything, and we decided to open our marriage.”

Eddie is selfishly glad that Steve is looking down at his feet and can’t see the way his jaw very unattractively dropped at that. He tries to shove the mental images of Steve hooking up with nameless men aside and tune back into what Steve’s saying.

“The thing is, it worked.” Steve sounds shocked at this. “For a few years, it worked. And things were so good. Being a dad was the best, I loved watching Max grow up. I coached little league and swim team and was on the PTA.”

Eddie’s heart warms at the idea of Steve standing on the side of the pool, yelling about proper stroke technique.

“Except…” Steve trails off and swallows hard. Eddie can see him struggling for words and wants to reach out and comfort him. He realizes that nothing is stopping him from doing so and lightly touches Steve’s forearm. Steve startles, and then looks at Eddie gratefully.

“Hawkins, Indiana is not an accepting place for men who like men. One day, I wasn’t careful enough. I fucked up and let a date drive me home and someone took a photograph of us kissing in the car and posted it online. And everyone in the neighborhood saw it.” Eddie’s stomach drops in realization.

“I ended up basically being exiled. We tried to smooth everything over, but things were getting hard for Max at school, you know how cruel kids can be. And the options were either to uproot Max’s whole life or…”

“Or you leave,” Eddie says softly, heart breaking for this selfless man.

“So I left. I came out here to Vegas, to Sin City,” Steve gives a self-deprecating laugh. “That way Nancy and Max are safe and I can’t… can’t hurt them.”

“So the photo,” Eddie wonders aloud.

Steve nods. “Robin texted me the photo and I saw it and panicked. It was like it was happening all over again and I went into a dark place. Robin did too, actually, and I’m so sorry for that. But Eddie,” Steve stops short and grabs at Eddie’s arm. “Eddie, you have to know, I never, ever thought of you, or that night, as a mistake. You were, are, wonderful, so much more than I deserve. I’m so…” Steve’s eyes are pleading, huge and wet. “I’m so stupid, because for a brief moment I was so lucky, and I threw it away.”

Eddie reaches out to gently wipe a tear off Steve’s cheek. “Oh sugar, you didn’t though.” Steve glances up with a look of stricken hope. Eddie cups his jaw, tracing over the stubble there with his thumb, and continues, “You haven’t thrown it away. Not yet anyway,” he smirks. “But you will if you don’t kiss me right now.”

Steve doesn’t hesitate, just presses their lips together. And it’s so different from their first kiss, all gentle touches and softness, warmth instead of blazing heat. But Eddie thinks this one might be better, full of promise as it is.

They break apart, smiling shyly, and Steve takes Eddie’s hand and pulls him up the last bit of the trail. As they crest the top, Vegas stretches before them, glittering in the late afternoon sun.

“From up here, all my problems seem so small,” Steve says softly. “Vegas is just a weird, shining speck in the middle of all this desert.”

Eddie murmurs in agreement, wrapping his arms around Steve’s waist and resting his chin on Steve’s shoulder. They stand together, and Eddie can’t help but think that this weird shining speck is starting to feel like home.

continue to part 7.

read on ao3.

tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed! and sorry as always if tumblr eats your tag): @knightofthieves @exhibit-no-restraint @zerokrox-blog @nelotegreitic @samthemissfit @impeachy @mentallyundone @n0-1-important @xxbottlecapx @ameliajwho1993 @abstractnaturaldisaster @hellomynameismoo @epiclazershark @dogswithforks @i-less-than-three-you @aveys6 @anaibis @sofadofax @sunswathe @paperbackribs @questionablequeeries @scarletzgo @mad-h-w @sherrylyn628 @the-redthread @harringrovefansblog @wearelosersyoudumbfuck @throwbackthrowaway @oxidantdreamboat @grtwdsmwhr @jamieweasley13 @bleach-the-kitten @estrellami-1 @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @introvert-even-on-the-internet @awkwardgravity1 @mads-clarkson @huskysarelife @beckkthewreck @trikigirl271 @bejeweledbaby @imfinereallyy @messrs-weasley @raisedbylibrarians

#steddie #stranger things #steddie vegas au #one more part then a lil epilogue #i hope you enjoy!#A writes

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jxtina-86 · 11 months

Text

We'll Be Okay

So many decisions, so little time. I thought I had my mind made up, but now I'm not so sure. RomanReigns/Alexia. See here for the rest of the series/order to read.

Warning: Language/Hints of smut

Rating: MA

Italics = flashback

I flick through a magazine, barely noticing the photos or articles as they all blur into one. Glancing up at the clock on the wall, I realise I've still got another ten minutes till my appointment. Ten more painfully slow minutes.

Fumbling in my bag, I tug out my phone and stare at the time again, as if the clock on the wall is lying to me. It isn't. Unlocking it, I head straight for my messages even though I know there are none. The same goes for missed calls and emails. I chew my lip, dropping the phone back into my purse before crossing my arms over my now obviously swollen belly.

A small smile tugs at my lips as I stare down at the round bump protruding from my lower half. My shirt is snug, a reminder that I need to start purchasing some proper maternity clothes before I start to bust the buttons in my shirts and pants. My weekends are currently spent in stretchy pants and one of Roman's shirts, the cuffs rolled up to my elbows as I spend a few hours running errands and the rest of the time sparked out on the couch, exhaustion now a consistent factor in my life.

But I wouldn't change it for the world. No way. My hand sneaks down, resting on my bump as I re-call the shiny-eyed smile that broke across Roman's face when I told him. I could relive that memory a thousand times and not get bored. In fact, I do relive it, every time he comes home or wakes up next to me or just walks from the kitchen to the lounge to find me. That smile is a permanent fixture and every time I see it, my heart threatens to burst with love.

Love for him.

Love for Pumpkin.

When I found out, I was in shock. Mainly because I didn't want to believe it after what had happened before. I couldn't put myself or Roman through that again. I was so cautious, refusing to believe the test until Dr Ash confirmed it herself. Telling Roman made it all so real. Before that point, it still felt like a figment of my imagination. And to be honest, even when I watched him caress my stomach and we joked about a nickname for my then non-existent bump, it still felt too good to be true.

The first scan changed all of that. I can remember how tightly his hand squeezed mine as my breath caught in my throat as the sound of our baby's heart echoed out of the speakers. And there, on the screen, the fuzzy outline of what we'd made. There was no denying it anymore, no need to think that one day I would wake up and find out it was all a dream. I remember looking over at Roman, my eyes stinging as I saw the unshed tears in his eyes, his hand still tight around mine as he drew a shaky breath and the doctor made her excuses to give us a moment.

“You okay?” I murmur as the door clicks shut, my eyes still on him as I watch him stare, transfixed.

“Yeah.” His voice is soft, barely a whisper.

I squeeze his hand and his gaze drops down, to stare at our intertwined fingers. And then glistening dark brown orbs meet mine and I'm tugging him towards me, my fingers releasing his so I can raise both hands to brush away the tears that start to slide down his cheeks.

“Hey,” I choke, my own emotions taking hold. “This is supposed to be a happy moment.” I try to grin, but my own tears are now spilling free.

“Then why are you crying?” he shoots back as he cups my face and presses his forehead against mine.

“Because I'm happy.”

“And so am I,” he tells me, his lips brushing over mine again and again. “Thank you.”

I stroke the back of his neck, my face twisting from his to stare back at the frozen image on the screen.

“Thank you,” I breathe, but I'm not sure who I'm thanking. Roman for giving me Pumpkin, or Pumpkin for giving us something we never realised we wanted so much. Maybe both, who knows. All I know is that I am beyond grateful for this moment and for all future moments to come.

We took multiple copies of the scan photo, one for each set of parents and family and two for ourselves. Mine is carefully placed in the folds of my diary, the white edge always peeking at me, begging to be looked at every time I pull the book from my purse and every time I give in, a jolt of excitement passing through me as I run my finger over the image.

Roman's is wedged into his wallet and I couldn't help but grin when I caught sight of it one day and noted how worn the edges were, how the white had started to lose its colour. My heart swelled at the thought of him tugging it loose and staring at the image of his child in countless cars, airports, arenas and hotels.

So I decided to add to that one image. A selfie of Pumpkin and I each week, my face pulled into variety of comical expressions as I clutch my forever growing belly. I started to snap them on a Monday night, something for him to find on his phone after RAW, along with a little note about how proud we both are of him and more recently, about the small fluttering sensation I've been feeling in my stomach when his voice echoes through the TV.

He called me the first time I mentioned the latter. I could hear the raw emotion in his voice as he asked me to tell him exactly what happened and then there was a short gasp of silence and I heard him sniff and all I wanted to do was reach out through the phone and pull him back to me, close to me. I wonder sometimes if I'm doing the right thing, if telling him all of these things and sending him photos is doing more harm than good. All I want is for him to feel like he's right here with me, living every moment of this incredible journey we're both on. But at the same time, I realise how difficult it must be for him to watch from afar. And this is only the beginning and I worry, fuck, I worry so damn much about what it'll be like when Pumpkin is born and the changes in development will be coming thick and fast and Roman will miss most of them.

It's something that I've been meaning to talk to him for a while now, but I can never seem to find the right time. When he's home, we're too preoccupied in catching up with each other, rather than delving into anything too deep and scary such as how he'll rarely be home to see his son or daughter grow up. But I know it's a conversation we need to have. He's promised me a thousand times that nothing will change between us, but what we have is something that we have worked at tirelessly for years now; I have no doubt about our strength as a couple. Yet it doesn't stop the nagging fear about the strength of the bond between him and our baby. There is no doubt in my mind that Roman will be the best father any child could ask for, but I'm terrified that the long periods away from home will somehow have an adverse affect on him or her, that Roman will become some secondary figure in their life. And that is the last thing I want to happen.

I want our baby to know that their father loves them so fucking much, that they are the best thing that could ever happen in his life, that his life is complete now that they are in it. I want our baby to know how hard their father works to make sure they never go without, that he's fortunate enough to do something he loves in order to support all three of us. I want our baby to be as proud of Roman as I am, to know he does everything in his power to make sure we're happy, even if he's on the other side of the country.

Something bumps against my leg and I blink to see a blonde-haired boy staring up at me. His eyes are a piercing blue, a curious look playing on his face as he studies my own features before his gaze drops down to my belly. With a tentative hand, he reaches out and pats my bump and I can't help but let out a giggle as he frowns.

“Nathan!”

I glance up to see a heavily pregnant woman approaching.

“What did I tell you about running off like that?” she scolds, reaching for his hand. “I'm so sorry,” she tells me with an apologetic smile. “His little sister has been kicking up a storm recently when he touches my bump, but he can't understand why the same doesn't happen when he touches strangers bumps.”

She turns to Nathan, whose face is still scrunched up in confusion. “What did we talk about, huh? You can't go touching other ladies bellies, it's not polite, is it? And your sister is in here,” she points at her own incredible bump. “Nowhere else, right?”

She takes a seat opposite me, heaving Nathan up onto the chair next to her. Her eyes flicker down to my bump. “How far along are you?”

“22 weeks,” I reply with a smile.

“Your first?”

I nod.

“Boy or girl?” she asks and then she grins. “Or are you here to find out?”

“Perhaps. I'm not sure.” I rub my hand over my bump.

“What about your husband?”

“He's not sure either,” I chuckle and she smiles widely in response.

“Isn't he here?”

“He travels a lot. I had to cancel my last appointment as he got called away at short notice.” I have no idea why I'm spilling all this detail to a stranger in a waiting room, but it feels good to talk to someone who doesn't know mine and Roman's situation. “But his flight today has been delayed, so I'm not sure if he'll make it in time.”

She smiles sympathetically. “Mine missed the birth of this one,” she reaches out and ruffles Nathan's hair. “By minutes too. He was stuck in traffic and crashed through the door just as they were cleaning him up.”

“How far along are you with your second?” I ask as Nathan's hand creeps onto his mother's stomach. She grins down at him and I watch incredulously as her belly moves, her baby jolting into action.

“37 weeks. Weekly check-up time.”

I'm about to respond, when my name is called out.

“That's me,” I say as I get to my feet and grab my purse. “Good luck with the next few weeks,” I tell her, smiling at Nathan.

“Thank you. You too.” Her eyes flicker to behind me. “Is that your husband?”

My head instantly whips around, my heart pounding as my mind fights to keep my cool, to not believe it until I see him with my own eyes. But there he is, towering in the doorway as he waits for a young couple to exit. He flashes them his trademark smile before manoeuvring himself and his bags through the door. Casting his gaze around the room, his face breaks into a far more genuine smile when he spots me.

“Damn, your baby's gonna be super cute,” my new acquaitance pipes up.

I glance back at her with a shy grin. “Thanks.”

She winks at me with a knowing smile, her eyes darting to behind me and I look around to see he's in arms length. It takes all the strength I have not to fling myself at him. It's been a shorter stint apart than usual, but it doesn't change how much I miss being curled up in those arms of his.

“Alexia Reigns?” The nurse is calling again.

“Just in time,” I tell Roman as he wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close, his lips instantly finding my forehead.

“Baby girl,” he breathes. “I'm so sorry.”

“What for?” I smile up at him as we pick our way towards where the waiting nurse stands, ready to show us the way to the consulting room. “Like I said, you're just in time.”

“I know. The taxi queue was insane at the airport and then the traffic...”

I reach up and squeeze his hand that rests on my shoulder.

“And I just wanted to be here to wait with you. We didn't get a chance to–” he starts, but the nurse soon interrupts me to tell me to get comfortable on the examination table and to roll up my shirt ready for the scan.

“The doctor will be in shortly,” she tells us with a brief smile before leaving us alone.

Roman takes my purse, placing it on top his bags as I ease myself onto the table and start to unbutton the bottom of my shirt.

“How you feeling?” His fingers brush against my arm.

“Good. Although I don't think you're gonna appreciate my new sleeping position.”

He chuckles. “You hogging all the pillows now?”

I nod. “One under the bump, one between my legs, one against my chest and the usual two under my head. I mean, I tried that one your mom got me, but it honestly just wasn't as comfortable.”

Cool air hits my skin as I ease up the tank top under my shirt, before fumbling with the waistband of my pants, pushing them down to rest just under my bump. I smile as Roman's hand carefully caresses the exposed skin, watching how his face seems to shift into an expression that only appears when his attention is purely devoted to Pumpkin. The first time I saw this look in his eye, of pure unconditional love, I knew that this worth all the agony and waiting. I never quite realised how different a love for a baby could be. I love Roman with all my heart and I would do anything for him, but that's a love that we've worked for and nurtured for years now. We haven't even met our baby and yet, we are already both head over heels in love and that love is only going to become stronger as time goes on.

“Lex,” he murmurs, his eyes flickering back up to meet mine. “I was thinking... Does it matter if we find out now or in a few months time?”

It's the question we've been asking ourselves since the beginning. Do we want to know or not? Does it matter if we're having a boy or a girl? Whilst we joke about the supposed benefits of each sex, when it comes down to it, we'd be happy, more than happy, either way. But we've both admitted the overwhelming urge to find out now, to be able to announce it to our families and friends, to help us make decisions on nursery colours and to buy toys and clothes in preparation for his or her arrival, along with the most important decision of all – a name.

For a while, I've secretly wondered if Roman wanted to know so he could prepare himself for how he should be as a father. A boy would naturally instigated a passing on of not only a family name, but of responsibility when he was older, becoming the man of the house so to speak in Roman's absence. Yet a girl would call for a more protective stance and I wondered if that's what he wanted to prepare for, the thought of leaving his girls every week and a fear that a girl would align herself with me more, creating that snag in the bond between him and her.

He has never vocalised these concerns, but the questioning look in his eye does little to ease my own worry.

“It's up to you,” I tell him softly, my hand reaching for his. “I don't mind if we find out now or later.”

“No way,” he says with a wry smile. “You can't put this all on me.”

“I honestly don't mind.”

He narrows his eyes as he studies my face. “Yes, you do.”

I roll my eyes. “Fine. I don't want to know. I'm quite looking forward to finding out when Pumpkin finally arrives and the doctor announces the sex. I want that to spur me on in those painful moments that I have to do this, because not only am I going to meet my baby, but I'm going to find out if I've been given a boy or a girl.”

“But you said yourself it would make loads of decision a lot easier to make if we found out today.”

“Sure, but then I saw this cute idea online of a yellow and grey nursery...”

Roman chuckles, his hand pulling mine up to his lips. “And names?”

“It's not like we're any closer to choosing any for either sex. I think finding out would make it a lot harder.”

His mouth opens to respond, but the door is suddenly pushed open and Dr Ash enters with my file in hand.

“Alexia, good to see you again. And Roman, I see you made it in time,” she greets, reaching out to shake our hands.

“Just about,” Roman grins in response.

“Good...” she takes a seat next to the table, switching on the sonogram machine. “So, Alexia, are you still having trouble sleeping?”

“It's getting better,” I tell her. “Still a little uncomfortable, but I'm working on it.”

“Good... And the nausea has completely gone now?”

“Yes, at last.”

“Any changes since I last saw you, aside from the obvious?” She smile as she nods at my bump.

Roman almost manages to muffle his snort of laughter and I scowl. “My hormones are a bit up and down.”

“Understatement of the year,” he mutters under his breath and I squeeze his hand hard in response.

Dr Ash nods. “That's completely normal, Alexia. Your body is changing in more ways than one, it's natural for your emotions to change as well. And I'm afraid it's probably going to continue this way right up until the birth.”

“Great...” I mumble. “So completely natural to go from crying to horny in a matter of minutes.”

Dr Ash raises her eyes to meet mine, with a small smile. “Sounds strange, but yes.” She makes a note in the file and then reaches for a bottle of ultrasound gel. “I apologise if this is a bit cold.”

She squirts the gel onto my stomach, the coolness making me flinch slightly.

“So, I'll take some measurements, make sure growth is on track and check the heartbeat. Now, depending on position, I might also be able to tell you if you're having a boy or girl.”

“Yeah, about that...” I glance up at Roman.

The doctor pauses. “Is this something you're yet to discuss?”

“No, we've discussed it,” Roman starts.

“Many times,” I chime in. “We're in two minds.”

“It's not a problem. Lots of couples find it hard to decide.” She smiles as she adjusts the monitor, moving closer to place the scanner on my stomach. “I can always make a note of it and if you want to find out later, you can give me a call?”

Roman catches my eye. “Lex?”

“I guess...”

“I once wrote it down and sealed it in an envelope for one couple who weren't sure either,” she comments as she studies the screen. “They eventually decided to find out, but gave it to a cake-maker and told them to make an iced cake with either blue or pink sponge inside.”

I'm about to respond when I see a familiar blurry outline appear on screen. My breath instantly catches in my throat, just as it did the first time I saw this very same image. Only this time, it's bigger, more defined than 10 weeks ago. The outline is more distinctive, more recognisable as a baby. Roman's hand squeezes mine again as the doctor makes more notes in my file.

“Baby looks good, growth is on track. Heartbeat is normal too, so progress is as expected.” She turns back to us. “So, I have to have a closer look and this is the point where it's going to be obvious if you are having a boy or girl. If you're still unsure, I suggest averting your eyes for the next few minutes.”

I look up at Roman. “Hey, no peeking. We either find out together or we both wait, right?”

“Right.” He tears his eyes away from the screen and looks down at me, his gaze steady. “So grey and yellow, huh?”

I smile. “I picked out a cot and some other furniture too. Although I don't know how much of it I can put together-”

“Don't even suggest it,” he frowns. “I'll do it.”

I raise an eyebrow. “First off, when? And secondly, I remember very clearly the fiasco when it came to putting together our wardrobes.”

“That was all Dean and Seth.”

“They did a far better job than you did,” I remind him.

“I was distracted,” he winks and I feel my cheeks flushing, my skin prickling with heat as his eyes glow at the memory. Fucking hormones.

“Excuses, excuses,” I manage to muster up, desperate to look away but I can't. If I look away, I'll see the screen, but if I hold his gaze, I'll give myself away. Although judging by the smirk that's gracing his lips, I already have.

He leans down until his mouth is next to my ear, his voice a low whisper. “Nah, baby girl. Just the truth. And you still know damn well that was your intention all along.”

“I ain't that kinda girl,” I murmur haughtily, my eyes flickering closed as I feel his breath on my earlobe.

He chuckles as he stands tall again, his fingers gently pushing back a strand of hair. I watch as his tongue wets his lips.

“Right, all done.”

My eyes flicker back to the doctor and the screen, my heart sinking as I note the blank screen.

“I'm pleased to say that your baby is looking very healthy indeed. No need for any additional check-ups, but when we see you next time, we can re-assess if anything changes. And of course, if you notice any changes that don't seem to be in line with what we have already discussed, please let me know.” Dr Ash closes the file and hands me a tissue to wipe the leftover gel from my belly. “Any questions?”

I shake my head as I roll the waistband of my pants back up and start to move my tank top and shirt back into place.

“You said you could write it, the sex I mean, down for us,” Roman blurts out. “In an envelope?”

Dr Ash gives me a brief look. “Alexia?”

“I...” I look up at Roman.

“We don't have to decide right now whether to open it or not. I just want to know that if we decide to find out, we can find out right then and there, rather than waiting to make a call.” He holds out his hand to me as I ease myself down from the table. “I'm not gonna find out without you wanting too as well. I just think we need to talk about it more and having the envelope with us there and then, well it means we can do it before we change our minds again.”

I bite my lip. The thought is tempting, the small and ever so fickle part of my brain is softly nudging my more rational headspace, willing it to accept the envelope, promising to listen to all arguments for and against finding out.

“Lex, I'm not going to pressure you into finding out if you don't want to. I'll accept if that's what you want to do, I promise.”

I turn my gaze back to Dr Ash. “Can you write it down, please?”

She smiles. “Of course.” She reaches behind her for a notepad, rustling through a desk drawer for an envelope.

“Thank you,” Roman murmurs, his arm wrapping around me.

And strangely, it's not only his hand that's shaking when he reaches for the sealed envelope a second or so later. Mine is trembling too.

“You said you wanted to talk,” I mumble against Roman's chest as we curl against each other on the couch.

His hand trails down my back, lazy and soft. “We've got plenty of time for that, baby girl. No rush, remember? We can find out whenever we want.”

The envelope is propped up on the mantlepiece, 'Baby Reigns' scrawled across the front, a constant reminder of what we could be minutes, seconds even, away from finding out should the mood take us. It's been almost 24 hours since we left the doctor's and we are yet to have a proper conversation about the possibilities that lie before us. My eyes have been constantly drawn towards the envelope, but every time, I force myself to look away, to remember what I so adamantly stated yesterday. I want the surprise. I want the unknown.

My eyes haven't been the only ones that have been playing an endless game of cat and mouse with said envelope. I've noticed Roman's eyes linger on the mantlepiece more than once and each time, I held my breath, waiting for him to commence his opening statement as to why we should tear it open and see what lies inside. But he's said nothing, not a word. Not even when we were lying in bed last night, his fingers drawing endless circles across my belly as he nuzzled into my neck. Not even this morning as he wrapped his arms around me whilst I waited for the kettle to boil or when he joined me in the shower for a few brief moments, his kiss long and sultry, almost convincing me to call in sick just so we could finish what we started.

“You're back on the road tomorrow,” I point out softly. “And you know that we'll never get a chance to talk for long enough about this until you get back.”

“I thought you had your mind made up?”

“I do. But that doesn't mean that I'm not willing to hear you out. We have to decide together, right?”

“Right,” he agrees, his hand slides over my shoulder, squeezing comfortingly. “My previous point still stands though. What difference does it make if we find out now or later? It's still going to be either a boy or a girl, no matter when we find out.”

“Not true,” I look up at him. “What if Dr Ash got it wrong?”

“What the are the chances of that happening?”

“Not likely, but it can happen. What if the envelope reveals it's a girl, but it turns out that our son was just feeling shy yesterday? Or if it says it's a boy, but it just so happened our daughter's hand was scratching an itch?”

“We don't have to tell anyone else, Lex. It can just stay between us if you want.” His fingers brush against my cheek. “And we can still pick out names for both, just in case, still decorate the nursery in neutral colours if that's what you want. Nothing has to change.”

“But it will. Pumpkin will become a he or a she. I kind of like that I could be speaking to either.”

He chuckles. “You speak to Pumpkin?”

I blush. “Yeah... The pregnancy books suggested it.”

“What do you talk about?”

I shake my head. “I see what you're doing, you're changing the subject.”

He chuckles, ducking his head down to brush his lips across my forehead. “Never. I'm interested.”

Glancing down at my bump, I smile softly. “I talk about you.”

“Lex...”

“I talk about how much their Daddy loves his work, how he has to be away a lot but that doesn't mean he doesn't love them any less. I talk about how much he already cares for them, how he can't wait to meet them.” I raise my head again, my voice threatening to crack when I catch Roman's eye. “I talk about how proud I am of you, how much I love you, how much you love me too, how happy you make me, Ro.”

I reach up to stroke his cheek, cupping his face and pulling him down to me. Our lips brush against each other, tentatively at first, tender kisses ensuing until he wraps his arms around me and holds me to him, sucking firmly on my bottom lip before delving back for more. I gasp for breath as he lets me go for a second, only to moan into his mouth as he tugs me back for more, fingers in my hair, anchoring me to him. Not that I want to move away. No way. I want to stay here forever as he shows me how much he loves me in the way he holds and caresses me. There's no need for words, only actions, only the warmth of his mouth and the strength of his soul.

“Lex,” he breathes as he pulls back. “You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I don't want to spoil that by doing something stupid.”

I shake my head. “You would never–”

“But I am,” he continues, cutting me off. “I'm being selfish. I should be thinking like you, about how exciting it will be to not only meet our baby but to find out then and there if it's a boy or a girl.”

“Ro... You're not being selfish. You could argue that I'm the selfish one for not wanting to know.” I close my eyes and pray that I'm not about to realise my worst fears. “Why do you want to know? Tell me. Please.”

“I...” he stammers, falling into a brief silence before my heart starts to sink. “I want to know how to feel.”

I look up and fuck... His face is full of trepidation, his eyes aglow with something that looks like... Fear.

“You know I love you and you know I love Pumpkin,” he places a large hand over mine on my belly. “I'd do anything for either of you, I swear. But at the same time, I haven't got a fucking clue what I'm doing.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, but I think I already know the answer.

“Lex, I have no idea if I'm the right person to be a father.”

Even though my worst suspicions have just been confirmed, it doesn't stop his words from stunning me.

“I've seen first hand what this industry does to families, it can tear them apart. It means that I'm going to end up spending more time away from my family, from you, from Pumpkin than I will here with the both of you. How the hell am I supposed to be a father when I'm never here?” He draws a shaky breath. “What if by not being here, our baby grows up resenting that? Resenting me...”

He trails off and I stumble over myself to correct him.

“That's never going to happen,” I tell him firmly. “We both know that you do what you do to provide us, to make sure we never go without, to ensure that we will always have a roof over our heads. Those are things that already make you a great dad, Ro. No child of yours is ever going to resent you for providing for them.”

“I spent a good few years as a teenager mad at my dad,” he murmurs, his hand still on my bump, his eyes down and avoiding my gaze. “He was never around when I needed him. My mom had to play both roles in my life and it was tough. I used to hate how he'd just come back after being on the road and expect everything to fall back into place, as if it was as simple as that. I watched my mom work to keep us all in check and for a while, it felt like he did nothing to contribute to that.”

“That's only natural,” I comfort. “You were a kid, you only saw one side of things. And you appreciate what your dad did for all of you now.”

“Of course. But I didn't see it then. It took me a long time to see it that way and sometimes I look back and realise that perhaps the only reason I changed my view on his decisions was because I'm where I am now. When I started on the road, I realised what he was putting himself through to provide for us.” He pauses. “What if our son never sees it like that?”

“And what about our daughter?” I challenge. “You don't think she'll see it like that? My mom raised me and my brother single-handedly. I sure as hell had a whole arson full of resentment for my dad.”

He frowns. “That's not what I mean.”

“I know,” I soften. “I do, honestly, Ro. But what I'm trying to say that if that's your reason for wanting to find out, I don't think those feelings are exclusive to just boys.”

“I just want to know how I'm supposed to react.”

I cup his cheek, my fingers brushing against his temple. “I'm scared too. I can read all the books I like, but nothing is going to prepare me for when they hand me our baby for the first time. I have no idea how I'm going to feel then. I hope I feel the same love I feel right now, but who knows? I'm petrified that I'm in love with an idea of what it's going to be like, rather than the reality. I'm terrified that I'm going to be a bad mother, that I'm going to do everything that I'm not supposed to.” I shift further up on the couch so that I can press my forehead against his. “You're not alone in this, Ro. I'm right there with you.”

“You make it look so easy,” he tells me. “You're a natural at this, Lex. Some days I still can't get my head around the fact that you're pregnant, yet you take it all in your stride.”

“I cried when I first realised my bump was visible,” I confess and his eyes widen. “It all felt too real and I didn't know how to handle it.”

“Baby girl...”

“And then,” I continue with a smile. “You came home a few days later and you were in such awe of it, touching it, kissing it. All the anxiety and insecurities that I was feeling just vanished in an instant. You made me feel proud of how my body was changing, excited for all the changes to come.”

His lips brush against mine briefly.

“You make me realise I can do this, Ro. You make me stronger by doing and saying things that make me feel a thousand times better, no matter what baby-related, fear-inducing moment or thought I've just had. And I want to do the same for you. I want to make you realise that you can do this too.” I pause. “Because I can't do this without you. I really can't. And that doesn't mean you always being in the same city or even the same house as me. You do plenty to make me feel like I'm not alone when you're on the road. And I just need to know that's not going to change.”

“Never, I promise.” He holds my gaze steadily, his thumb stroking my cheek gently before he cups the back of my head. “I got you, you got me.”

“Exactly,” I smile. “And I totally got you, Ro. Boy or girl, you can do this. I know you'll love whatever we have, I know you'll always do what's right for our family, whether you're here or in a city on the other side of the country, because that's what you've always done for me and I know that's what you'll do for Pumpkin.”

I rest my hand over his and then we both freeze.

“Was that...?” Roman starts, trailing off as there's another, barely there kick.

“Yes,” I giggle.

“Have you ever felt that before?”

“No,” I whisper, staring down at our hands before raising my eyes to meet his.

“Shit,” Roman murmurs. “That felt–”

“Weird,” I grin. “That was definitely not a flutter like I've felt before.”

We're both quiet for a few minutes, our hands still on my bump waiting for more, but it seems that the show is over.

“Looks like that was reserved just for you,” I tell him as I slowly start to get off the couch, a yawn taking hold of me as I notice how late it is. I hold out my hand to Roman. “You staying up or coming to bed?”

But he doesn't answer me, instead he captures my hand and tugs me to him, until I'm stood between his legs as he stares up at me. I watch with a small smile as he brings his face closer, his lips brushing against my swollen belly.

“I love you,” he murmurs, his eyes flickering closed as he wraps his arms around my waist and holds me to him. I can feel his lips moving, the soft vibration of his voice, but the words are lost against my shirt.

But I don't need to hear them to know what he's saying. My hand runs over his head, softly tugging at his hair until he raises his eyes to meet mine.

“We'll be okay, Ro. You'll be okay.”

Warm breath on my neck stirs me awake, a hand sliding over my hip, fingers teasing my inner thigh. I stretch, my back arching, my ass hitting something hard.

“Lexi...” Roman's voice is thick and gravelly. His hand moves back to my hip, gripping firmly as he holds me in place, slowly grinding his obvious arousal against my backside.

My fingers scrape against the pillow as I bite back a moan, my body awakening at a faster pace than my mind as I press back against him. He growls his approval, his hand slipping back to my thigh, his fingers teasing once again and my head rocks back, my eyes slowly opening.

Deep brown eyes greet me, full of a beautiful combination of sleep and lust. Gone is the timid nature that he used to approach me with in the early days of pregnancy, when he'd fight to handle me like precious china until I begged him to give me what I wanted. Now I don't have to ask, I don't have to plead. My wonderful, handsome, sex-on-fucking-legs husband is back, showing me exactly what he wants right now as he grinds purposefully, a wicked glint in his eye.

His fingers pluck at my panties in frustration and I'm right there with him, wondering why I made such a stupid decision when getting ready for bed last night. Roman, on the other hand, made the wise choice to wear nothing to bed as usual and I can feel the full length of his dick nestling against my ass cheeks, slipping back and forth with every movement. I grunt impatiently as his fingers slide inside the waistband of my panties for a split second and then retreat to tease me through them instead.

“Patience,” he mumbles, ducking down to capture my lips as he rubs his thumb in soft circles across my clit and then dips a finger further south, tracing my entrance through the material. I can already feel my skin prickling with heat as his tongue pushes languidly into my mouth and I greet it with the same ease.

“Please...” I gasp as he release me, his thumb continuing to tease, his fingers still exploring at a slow and steady pace.

He eventually gives in and I help to push my panties down my legs. I reach for him, pulling him back to me, but he shakes his head. Nudging the sheets away, he reaches for the pillows which have cocooned me for most of the night, but now lay strewn across the bed. He tugs one towards us, easing it under my side.

“Comfortable?” he asks, his hand stroking my hair, sending shivers up and down my spine. I nod, desperate to feel him against me again, but grateful for the way that he continues to make sure I'm okay. He smiles as he settles back behind me once again, gently rocking me so that my belly rests against the pillow, allowing me to move my upper leg higher on the bed.

Mornings have always been my time and pregnancy has just added to that. Even when he's not here, I wake up horny as hell, my mind having to do all the work to transport Roman back to our bed, whilst my fingers touch and tease until I'm screaming his name into my pillow. But today, I don't need to imagine.

He pushes my hair up, blowing warm air on the back of my neck as his fingers run from the top of my spine to the bottom, over as my ass and back between my legs. I hum in approval as one finger slides against my entrance and his corresponding groan tells me everything I need to know. I can feel it too, an intense warmth slowly brewing in the pit of my stomach, my thighs starting to ache as he swipes his finger back and forth.

“Damn, baby girl... You get wetter every time...”

His words make me swallow hard, my head starting to spin as his finger dips inside me for a brief second.

“Ro...”

“That's it, Lexi... Fuck...”

His finger lingers this time, curling inside me until I cry out and he chuckles in satisfaction.

“More?” he questions with a groan and I nod jerkily as his thumb circles my clit. “Slow? Hard? Tell me, Lexi. Tell me what you want.”

“You,” I gasp. “Slow...”

He nuzzles my neck, my head rocking back again so he can kiss me again, swallowing my inevitable moan as his finger pushes back inside me and he starts to side in and out at a glacial pace. I can hear how wet I am, the sounds of my slick pussy filling the room along with my muffled moans and gasps for breath.

His other arm curls around me, his hand seeking out a breast, cupping it softly at first. His thumb takes a gentle swipe at my nipple and I flinch at how sensitive they've become.

“No,” I groan as he lets go instantly. “Just... Gentle...”

I need him, I need him like I've always needed him. I want to crash and burn in his arms. I want to scream out his name and feel him pull me close, holding me until I can catch my breath and open my eyes again. I want to feel him take my body and conduct it in the way only he knows how. His instincts always set me on fire, his hands, his mind, his whole being knows me inside and out and I never want to lose that.

“More,” I hiss and he obliges, two fingers pushing back inside me and I automatically clench them tightly. He growls, his dick jerking against my ass still and I feel light-headed at how full I'm going to feel when he's buried deep inside me.

“More?” he asks again, his thumb soft and slow on my clit.

I nod, my own hands clutching at his arms, afraid that he's going to drag this out. I can't take it. I can't take the teasing. I can feel my chest tightening, my eyes squeezing shut as I grind down on his fingers, hissing as they slide deeper inside me. My breath comes in short, rapid gasps as he pushes me closer and closer, his mouth at my ear.

“Fuck, Lex... Ride my fingers, baby girl. Squeeze 'em... That's it... Harder...”

I'm unravelling quicker than I ever imagined, my body shutting down, numbness creeping from my toes up my legs, taking hold of my entire being. All I can focus on are his fingers, between my legs, inside me, on my nipple, tugging it gently as I whimper and then howl, my lungs burning with the effort as my orgasm slams into me.

Roman's fingers slip from me and I watch in a daze as he licks them clean with a grin.

“Better every time,” he tells me, kissing me softly and letting me taste myself on his tongue.

And then I'm rolling, eased onto my stomach, pillows bundled beneath me as he tugs my hips up. I turn my head to the side, smiling as he reaches down to push the hair from my face.

“You okay, baby girl?” He asks, his voice rough with desire as he fists his dick with one hand, the other sliding over my back, down to my ass where he squeezes firmly.

“Yeah... Ro...” I lick my lips, watching his dick slide back and forth in his hand. “Please...”

He grins. “Ssh, you know I got you.” Leaning forward, he presses the tip against my entrance, slipping back and forth and then pulling back so I can see his dick shining with my juices. “How'd you want it? Slow? Fast?”

I shrug. “I just want it.”

He chuckles. “That's my girl.”

My hand reaches forward to grasp at the sheets, to hold myself steady but I still lose my balance as he pushes inside me. He's quick to correct me, his hands on my hips as he pushes further in, slow and steady, fighting to keep himself in check. He feels bigger than ever, my walls tight around him and I can tell from his muttered curse that he can feel that too.

He stills for a second, but I rock back, groaning as I feel my ass press against his pelvis.

“Please,” I choke out, my final plea before he gives me what I want.

His fingers dig in painfully hard as he struggles to keep it slow. But I don't want it slow. I want him to take what he needs as well. I need him to lose a little control, because when he comes undone, when he lets himself get taken over by his animalistic tendencies, that's when my own body lets go too. And I need that. I want to let go.

“Harder.”

He grunts, his hips rocking a little faster, a little rougher. But it's not enough. I twist my head back to face him, my hand moving to brush over his wrist.

“Harder,” I tell him through gritted teeth as I feel a hand slide over the base of my bump and sink south. “Aw, Ro... Fuck...”

His thumb rubs soft circles around my clit, moving closer and closer until I'm panting and begging. And then his arms are scooping under me, pulling me up right and I crash back against his chest.

“Fuck my dick, Lex,” he growls in my ear, a hand on my thigh, gripping firmly as the other seeks out my breast, finger and thumb working at my nipple until I'm fighting back the urge to cry from the onslaught he's currently inflicting on my body.

“Yes,” I manage to squeak out as he grabs my hand and pushes it between my legs. I let my fingers dip down, groaning as I feel his hard, slick length moving in and out of me at a fascinating speed. My back is sticking to his chest, sweat starting to cover my body in a thin sheen as he lets go of my breast and grabs roughly at my hair, pulling my head back so he can attack my neck.

It's fast and furious as we push and pull each other closer and closer. Words slip from his lips, spurring me on as he groans his appreciation for my pussy, my ass, my breasts. His hand slides over mine, pushing my fingers hard against my clit as I cry out, so fucking close to the edge.

And then I'm falling, tumbling into oblivion, my body freezing as another howl rips through me. He keeps thrusting hard, grunting against my neck, his teeth scraping against my skin as he holds me just so, until he starts to pulse inside me.

Still.

A hand on my bump. His lips on my shoulders. His hand dancing over mine, pulling it from my legs and up to his mouth where he kisses the tips of my fingers.

He grumbles softly when I finally pull away, turning to face him so I can kiss away his frown. But he lets me go, sighing as he sees the time and watches me rise on shaky legs and make my way to the bathroom.

When I return, the bed is empty, his shorts from last night gone from the floor as well. I dress and wind my hair up out of the way for the moment before heading downstairs. I can hear the low hum from the radio in the kitchen as I make my way through the lounge to grab my phone from my purse.

I pause at the mantlepiece, fighting the urge to look at the envelope. I take a step forward and then pause again, this time turning until my eyes are fixed on the scrawling handwriting.

Am I being selfish?

Is Roman right?

Would it make this easier if we knew?

I pull my eyes away, head for my purse, pull out my phone.

“Lex?” Roman calls out. “I made you pancakes.”

I grin, heading back past the mantlepiece.

It's only when I'm standing in the doorway of the kitchen that I realise that I'm holding the envelope in my hand.

“Lex?”

I look up, Roman's gaze flickering from my face to my hands.

“We... We don't tell anyone.”

His eyes widen. “No, Lex. You wanted to wait, you wanted–”

“We don't tell anyone,” I repeat, stepping forward, holding out the envelope. “Not Shiv, not Seth, not Becca, not Dean. Not even our parents. No-one.”

I press the envelope into his hands and he grasps it tightly.

“Lex–”

“Open it.”

“Are you–”

“I'm sure.”

His fingers tremble as he tears at the envelope. He holds my gaze as he draws out the slip of paper before lowering his eyes, a wide grin cracking his face in two.

“Boy or girl?” I whisper, but he doesn't answer me. He just hands me the slip of paper.

I stare at it, my brain barely recognising the letters that form the word. But slowly, it clicks into place and I can feel my own face breaking into a smile.

I look up and Roman is staring back at me, his eyes shining.

“Lex,” he breathes. “It's–”

“I know,” I tell him, as he pulls me into his arms. “I know.”

Fin x

#roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns #roman reigns imagine #roman reigns smut #romanreigns #wwe fic #wwe fanfiction

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cobiehaven · 1 year

Text

Heartbreaker — Kim Sunwoo

SYNOPSIS; sunwoo broke your heart but why does he still act like nothing happened? you dared to ask him but you knew you were going to have to find out the truth at some point, right?

PARING; persistent!sunwoo x heartbroken!reader, ft. changmin !!

GENRE; just angst. only angst. all angst.

WORD COUNT; 2.1k

TAGS/WARNINGS; persistent!sunwoo, heartbroken!reader, depressed!reader, bestie!changmin, caring!changmin, changmin works for door dash LMFAOOO, mention of suicide, reader has a love hate relationship with sunwoo, story with no valid conclusion.

AUTHORS NOTE; i’m not gonna lie- i teared up thinking about how sad this was. im sorry if i didn’t execute it the way that i thought it in my head. i hope you all see the kinds of feelings that im feeling through this story, a lot of them were based on how i felt in my own personal experiences.

you don’t know how long it has been.

how long its been since you looked at your phone or how long its been since you’ve gotten out of bed.

when was the last time you took a shower or made yourself a proper meal? the most you’ve done is probably get up to pee.

but with the lack of nutrition, it was even hard to do that sometimes.

depression was not something to take lightly. everyone knew that. especially if it was mixed in with heartbreak.

it could really mess up somebody.

and that was exactly what you were experiencing.

the same kind of messing up.

to sum up the unfortunate story of your disgusting break up, it was an understatement to say you hated your ex-boyfriend. three weeks ago, he cheated on you. and that was something you were not going to tolerate with when you and him had been in a long-lasting relationship of 2 years. you had gotten sent a picture by someone who had went to the same party as sunwoo, that night. in the picture, he was kissing another girl. you don’t know why you were so surprised, he’s always had people around him all the time. both girls and boys were attracted to him wether it was platonic or not.

you suppose the reason why you feel so broken, is the fact that he always gave you a reason to believe that he would never do such a thing to hurt you.

there was never a time that you felt unloved when you were with him. he always made sure to make time for you even when he, himself, was at his worst. he knew you like you knew the back of your own hand. he knew exactly what you order at all of your favorite restaurants, he knew what your favorite comfort food was when you finished watching a sad movie, he knew just what to do when you stayed home in bed because of how bad your cramps were. he knew what the size of your clothes were and always made sure to get them one size bigger so the both of you could wear them back to back. he always made sure to leave his cologne out on the bedside table so you could give yourself a little spritz of it whenever you missed him more than anyone else. and he always made sure to be there for you when you were having a rough time.

the day you found out he cheated on you, you cried for as long as your exhaustion could take you. when he came home that night, you didn’t have the strength to say much to him. he asked you over and over what was wrong, what he could have possibly done to make you sob to the point of bloodshot eyes.

you told him to get out with no explanation. he knew what he did yet you still don’t know why he acted like he was still innocent.

you dare to ask him about it, though.

once he packed all of his things with you watching from afar, he gave you one last saddened look before locking the door behind him.

those eyes stuck with you. you couldn’t forget the amount of worry and sorrow that was behind them. but even so, you weren’t even sure if you could look at him the same anymore. no matter what he did to try and make up his mistake to you. you could barely even look at your phone without drowning in the anxiety of seeing his face pop up on your lock screen.

suddenly, your thoughts were interrupted when you felt a strong vibration come from your phone, across the bed. you knew exactly who it was and you didn’t dare to look at your phone. but no matter how strong your will was, you gave in to the pure curiosity of what he had to say this time.

sunwoo:

y/n, i know you’re reading these.

please

just respond? let me know how you are

i’m worried.

it’s been weeks

none of your friends have seen you either

i keep asking every day but they know as little as i do

i know i’m the last person you want to talk to and we don’t have to talk about what happened, but please at least say something to let me know you haven’t completely given up.

i know you better than anyone else

you stared at the messages. you contemplated wether to text back or not. although you were curious as to what he had to say, it didn’t delve deep enough for you to bring up the courage to respond.

thank god your read receipts weren’t on.

putting down your phone again, you sighed and rolled over. you had forgotten to check the time but you were certain it was at least mid-day by now. everyday around this time, you battled with yourself to get up and do something productive. but your lack of motivation won every time.

luckily, today didn’t feel as bad as the others. usually you would be swimming in exhaustion.

you silently dragged yourself out of bed, using the little strength you had to rake through your heavily knotted hair and brush your teeth. you desperately needed a shower but you weren’t sure if you were up for that. the longest you’ve gone without one was probably 5 days. you were thankful that your hair didn’t get greasy easily.

the next thing you did was order food. door dash was probably the closest to being your best friend nowadays. you were certain that most of the groceries in the fridge had gone bad by now, as the last time you went shopping was with sunwoo a week or two before the whole incident. even if there was something good in the kitchen to make, you probably wouldn’t even be up for that either. you were also thankful that sunwoo left some of his backed up money behind because without it, you’d probably be hospitalized by now.

gosh, you loved being the emotionally broken one.

maybe this was a sign to start going to therapy? you sighed. it would be a nice thought if you didn’t hate the idea of talking about your problems to a random stranger.

you flinched when you heard your phone buzz violently on your bedside table, looking over at the device and rolling your eyes when it was sunwoo. again.

sunwoo:

please answer..

okay, maybe you did feel bad for ghosting him. something told you that this message was much more meaningful than the other ones. that maybe he was actually sorry.

you sighed for probably the millionth time that day, trying to build up the courage to actually send a message back.

you:

you sure have a lot to say

sunwoo:

oh my god.

you answered!

you:

im not dead if that’s what you thought was going on.

i wouldn’t give up that easily.

you definitely thought about it.

sunwoo:

how have you been?

why haven’t you come to school?

why haven’t you been talking to your friends?

why was he so persistent? he knows you don’t want to talk to him. it gave you a headache. you were really starting to wonder why you were still heartbroken over this man.

putting your phone down after leaving him on delivered, which seemed to be a common occurrence for you now, you were happy to see that your food arrived peacefully. what you weren’t happy to see was the person who delivered it.

it was one of your school friends, changmin. one of the ones who would definitely have been curious to know how you have been for the past few weeks. since when did he start delivering food?

“y/n? how long has it been? i’ve been texting you!”

you were going to be honest.. you haven’t even been looking at any of your messages unless they were from your parents or sunwoo.

which you only responded to your parents.

“aren’t you here to give me my food?”

“right,” he quickly took the money you had in your hand and shoved it into his pocket, handing you the bag. “uhm.. i know you might not want to hear this but people are really looking forward to seeing you back at school. we’re all worried about you and sunwoo.” this spiked your interest.

“has sunwoo not been at school?”

“he has. it’s just…”

“what? it’s just what?”

“he’s been with another girl everyday since you’ve been gone.”

you should have expected to hear that. it was the whole reason you were upset at him in the first place. the whole reason you couldn’t bare to even step outside anymore. it was probably the same girl he kissed in the photo.. you were angry. furious at him for cheating on you, asking you if you were okay, texting you every day all while he was still seeing someone else. granted, you both have broken up but still.. it hurt.

you fought to hold back tears at the thought of him loving up on someone else behind your back even though he wasn’t yours anymore.

but you failed.

changmin dropped to your side as you cried into his shoulder. your knuckles turning white from how hard you were gripping onto his thin shirt. you wanted nothing more than the ground to open up and swallow you whole. the same common feeling you felt for the past 3 weeks.

you cried for a while, your friend not making any effort to move or get back to his job. his only way of comfort was dropping whatever he had left in his hands and hugging your frail body. he frowned at how thin your body had gotten since he last time he saw you.

“can i stay for a while?”

“don’t you have a job?”

“you were my last delivery.”

somehow you didn’t believe that but you nodded anyways. feeling much more comfortable with him now that he knew exactly what your situation was. he comforted you enough to try and move you to the couch, taking the food with him.

“i’m not hungry anymore..” your appetite was ruined now. “you and i both know that you need to get something into your system.”

well, you couldn’t argue with that.

you both sat in whimpering silence as he helped you with your food, being with you the entire step of the way from feeding you to going back to laying down in the comfort of your bed. “y/n, i think that maybe you should actually have a talk with sunwoo,” changmin frowned at your tired state. “i don’t even think i could handle listening to his lame excuses,” you spat with rising anger.

“i know you have a lot of negative feelings about the whole thing but i really think it would help you to get over it if you just made things clear with him.”

“he doesn’t deserve my time.”

“but i think you deserve his.”

you didn’t want to think too hard about whatever kind of point changmin was trying to get across to you, but the more he said something about how your life is literally turning out to be the worse for yourself without confirmation from sunwoo, the more you started to realize that maybe he was right.

but still, you just couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe. just maybe. you could find it in yourself to get over him without an explanation as to why he cheated on you.

“i’ll think about it.”

he nodded, tucking you into bed and doing all of the basic needs for you like plugging in your phone and turning the lights off before finishing throwing away all of the trash and dirty dishes you had laying around the room.

“will you think about coming to school tomorrow?” he asked on his way out of the bedroom.

“will you be there?” you asked, lifting up your head from your pillow to stare at him in the doorway. “only if you are,” he smiled, to which you faintly gave him one back.

he gave you one last look before closing the door behind him to leave you in peace.

almost just like before, those eyes seemed to stick with you the entire night.

THE CONCLUSION

sunwoo:

the picture you received that night wasn’t real.

it was fake.

i’m so sorry that was that had been bothering you all of this time.

if i had known sooner, i would have made it clear that i would never cheat on you with someone else!

the girl i am with now, i swear it’s not what it looks like. i know you have heard things about her and i.

but my relationship with her it’s only platonic! i promise.

she wants me but i want you..

i still think about you

i still worry for you

i still care for you

and ill still do whatever i can to make it seem that way

i love you.

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veeluvss · 11 months

Text

My Girl, Lily Prentiss (5)

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Emily read the letter out to the team, keeping her face straight. On the table in front of the team were piles upon piles of letters, pictures, drawings - everything. There were drawings of Emily, the team, and Lily. Pictures too, of Emily and the team. There were letters she'd written to Emily over the years, all found under her mattress. "Garcia, I want a list of all of Harold's properties throughout the US. If it takes her four days to call me then there must be a reason why. Tara and Reid, look through these letters for any hints. The rest of you-" Prentiss sighed. She hated this. "Do what you need to do." She walked out, holding back her tears.

"You can't hurt her!" Emily found herself shouting at Harold. "And what are you going to do about it?" He shouted back at her, kicking her in the ribs as she tried to crawl towards the young girl. Lily was being held away by her hair, her already matted and falling-out hair. "Emmy!" Lily screamed as Prentiss toppled over, clutching her stomach and groaning in pain. Three days of continued torture. All because she tried to escape. She hated that her stupid actions were getting the girl hurt like this but she had to try, there wasn't going to be a better opportunity. Yet, the opportunity still wasn't good enough. Emily heard Lily crying, begging for help and weakly she lifted her head back. She couldn't bare the sight but she did it anyway. Punishing herself for letting the little girl be hurt so badly. She wanted to scream, kick and abuse Harold til he was a bleeding plump on the floor but she had no strength. Not anymore.

Garcia typed away on her computer when there was a soft knock at the door. She was checking out Harold's properties, to say he was in prison, he had quite a few. "Come in," she said softly, not feeling like herself. JJ walked through the door and shut it quietly behind her. "Hey, just wondering if you needed another set of eyes," she said, coming in and sitting beside Penelope. "Thank you. How are you doing?" Garcia asked, flatly. JJ sighed, it hurt her to see Emily hurting so badly. "I'm okay." "I wish we could do something for her," Garcia said gently. "We are doing something, we're looking for her," JJ told her, putting a supportive hand on her shoulder. "What do you think will happen?" "What do you mean? " "Is she alive?" JJ paused, not knowing. "What if she never even made it where she was expecting to go?" "I think she's alive, we have to have faith. Until we're proven otherwise," JJ said gently then turned to the screen.

A few hours later, Garcia and JJ presented their findings to the team. Reid had done a geographic profile, based on his own parameters, Tara and Derek had scoured through the endless papers and all they really had were drawings and a few letters. They called Emily into the room, knowing they were one step closer. "So we're thinking that wherever they've taken Lily has a hutch, she said near a lake but all of her drawings show a similar kind of theme. We think she has been there before," Derek began. "Harold owns four properties near lakes all in different parts of the country completely," Garcia told everyone. "Based on the geographic profile, they have to be between these lines," Reid said, pointing at his fancy map. "So that takes us down to three properties," Garcia sighed, crossing one off her list. "I think it's closer than that," Emily said, speaking up. "Some nights, I managed to sneak out of the room. I would always hear the boys talking about the farm. Maybe it's some sort of farm property?" "That cuts us down to two," Garcia said, smiling. "Where?" "One in Ohio, the other in South Carolina," JJ sighed. "Ohio is 53.54% farmland, however, South Carolina has a lower population," Reid said. "Do you have an address for both properties? We can't fly to both of them," Derek asked. "I have their addresses, all their history, I can tell you how many bricks are in each other them," Garcia said. "Send local PD to them both, looking for signs of life. Garcia collects phone numbers of neighbours, we'll ask around and go to the one with the most pointers," Emily said and left the room. They were closer, so much closer.

in ohio

"Lily! What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Richard screamed at his sister, tearing the phone from her hands. Lily shook with fear, looking at her brother with tears in her eyes. "I don't want to be here anymore Rich," she whimpered. "You don't?" slap. "No?" slap again. "Get over it." Three more slaps. Lily tried her hardest not to show emotions. "You think you can escape me? Like you and that bitch tried to escape years ago? I don't fucking think so." Rich screamed. "We're a family and we belong together." "Rich, Rich," Tommy said, coming into the small room. "What? Are you going to let her leave?" Rich raised his hand to Tommy. "Hit me, I'll only hit you harder Rich. Go take a breather, Lily needs to rest," Tommy sighed, surprisingly calm. Rich let his arm drop, and he sent his sister one kick before walking out of the room. Tommy helped her up, being cautious of her bruises. "Thank you," she whispered to him, clutching his arms for support. Her ankle was severely swollen and bruised, she was convinced it was broken but Rich wasn't letting her go anywhere. "You need to start being good, Lily," Tommy warned her, setting her on the sofa. She gasped a little, looking at him. "You're only going to make him hurt you more if you keep being naughty." His voice was so condescending. "Why don't you get some rest now? We're going tomorrow," Tommy told his little sister. He pulled back the cover on the bed and encouraged her to lie down, she did. He tucked the thin blanket under her chin before kissing her head gently. "I'll be back later for my present," he whispered in her ear before shutting out the light.

Lily shivered in the dark, she couldn't sleep. She knew Tommy would come back soon, yet she didn't know how long it had been since he left. In every position she got herself into, she was uncomfortable and in pain. Her ankle throbbed, sending shooting pains up her leg she couldn't even think about. The only thing keeping her going was the mere thought of Emily. It had been years since Lily had felt the warmth, the love and the belonging she had with Emily and now, she needed it more than ever. She had always wanted to reach out to her but was so scared of the consequences. She knew it wasn't allowed and she despised getting in trouble, particularly with strangers. She could still remember Emily's smell, the way her fingertips dug into her back during one of her tight cuddles, the way Emily would sing her the same song every night to help her sleep. She craved that love, the attention - even just for a day. She needed Emily but she had no idea how to get her here. She prayed that Emily had found the letter, understanding and was on her way - particularly if they were leaving tomorrow. There was little time left.

#criminal minds #criminal minds evolution #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau head canons #emily prentiss head canons #jennifer jareau x reader #emily prentiss x reader #jennifer jareau imagine #emily #lily prentiss #my girl lily prentiss

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channieandhisgoonsquad · 10 months

Text

Unplanned Events (Part 8)

Word Count:~4K (4069 😳)

Warnings: Smut 🩻, Swearing, Nakedness, Unholy Size

Comment: @lyramundana is once again planning my murder so I’m back with an update. 👀

Summary: I hope you don’t need this at this point!!

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8

He scooted himself under the warm duvet and leaned against the headboard with his pillows supporting his lower back. You watched him get comfortable in the most formal way possible, not even looking over to you.

The movie began in the background but you were still fixated on the man to your side. He had placed his body dead center on his side of the bed but you had told him you wanted to snuggle. So, you took charge of the moment and grabbed his arm to pull him closer.

He saw your actions and smiled at your neediness to have him closer. Of course he obliged the lady and resituated himself in a more sloped angle in the middle of the entire bed. Content, you wrapped one arm onto his chest, head on his pec, and wrapped a leg over his own to cuddle into him like a giant teddy bear.

He threw his arm over your shoulder to pull you flush to him, trying his best to ignore the fact that your legs were, indeed, bare. He groaned softly at that small detail because he forgot that you were literally on his lung and could hear his noises.

“What’s up, buttercup?” You said nonchalantly as you kept your eyes on the screen.

“This is all new to me.”

“Which part?”

“Snuggling someone that I want more than a friend.”

You turned to face him, resting your chin on your own arm that was still languidly placed across his chest. “You’ve never snuggled a crush?”.

He was obviously embarrassed by his sudden confession, but continued nonetheless, “I haven’t had time for a crush since High School. It’s been go go go since training began.”

Your frown made him sad and he wished he hadn’t brought it up.

“But I’m fine! Seriously. I just don’t know how to do this part.” He motioned to the general vicinity of you two.

“Well, we don’t have to rush anything. If you’re nervous about any of this just tell me. If the idea of sex-“

“No, actually, that’s the only part I’m confident in. I’ve slept with people numerous times, but it was just to get our rocks off and then we never did anything again. We never kissed though. It didn’t seem right to me.”

“Well you’re a great kisser. They were missing out.” You reached out to rub your thumb across his lips again. He really was so good with his mouth it made you crave it everywhere all at once. He kissed the pad of your thumb and just smiled.

“I just want it to be right. And now that I’m finally away from my studio and meeting all these people I’ve just felt ready to actually meet someone. I didn’t realize that specific someone would be the person I tried to help that was crying alone in a park today.”

You shoved him playfully at his comment but knew he meant it with all the sincerity he could. Even if his words were kind of silly.

“I didn’t think I was going to run into you EVER. Let alone that you were going to invite me to join you on your adventure today! I was so confused and thought I was actually dreaming this up.”

Something in his mind told him he had to approach her back at the park. He couldn’t leave her alone when he saw her like that. Especially when Han found out she knew who he was, but he didn’t expect her to have such a hold on his heart. Not this quickly. It’s both terrifying and so exciting.

“I’m glad you said yes.”

“Stop I’m gonna cry!” You whined at the cheesy way he was looking at you and you turned your head back down to the movie to keep him from seeing any tears fall. He just laughed silently and allowed you to get comfortable again. He played with your hair while the music started.

After ten minutes or so he felt you shuffle closer to him. Wrapping your leg higher between the two of you and he couldn’t stop himself picturing you on his lap like you just were.

Your hand that had been on his chest roamed lower to hold his waist. Your fingers dipped against his abs and he wiggled from the tickling sensation. He felt you laugh against him more than hearing it due to your small vibrations in your chest. You both looked and felt so cozy like this that Han was afraid to move at all.

Since he wasn’t moving, you continued the party yourself. The roaming hand lightly traced its way down his stomach and felt his belly button, but continued its venture down south. Han was hissing lightly at your motions but kept his eyes on the movie scene. He imitated Howl’s motions in the movie trying to act unaffected.

You returned your thumb to the lining of his boxer briefs like you had before. Allowing it to graze side to side but not reach any further inside. “Tell me to stop if you want me to, Hannie.”

“I'm not stopping my beautiful girl from whatever she wants.”

“Whatever I want, aye?” He kind of regrets the remark, but he knows you couldn’t and wouldn’t do anything wrong by him.

You reach more of your fingers under the hem and continue tracing the contours of his v line. The small wisps of his pubic hair told you you were so close to your prize.

You reached in and grasped his cock that was quickly hardening at the contact. He grunted and huffed at the cold but sweet touch of your small hand finally grasping him.

You reached the tip for some lubricant but quickly decided it wasn’t enough. You relinquish your hold to get more. He looked down to see you take your thumb into your mouth to clean off the precum it had accumulated.

“You can’t do that, baby. I’m gonna explode just watching you.” You just look up at him and smirk after getting the rest of your hand all slobbered up and returning to the tent under the covers.

“Wow, you taste so different.”

“Is that good?”

“It’s so good, Jisung.”

Boy were you in for some trouble, the man was fully hard now and you were in awe. “How on earth do you hide this monster?” You groaned as you tried to wrap your hand around his shaft, coming short by a few centimeters it felt like. “Oh Hanji, you’re so big.”

He looked surprised at your comment and you were shocked he didn’t know, “Has no one told you? Oh man you are a treat just to hold, hun.” You yanked the covers all back to get a look at him.

He got shy, but let you continue because he wanted to see what you were talking about. He’s never gotten a hand job when the lights were on. They were almost always in a dark studio or a closet.

“Show me.” He demanded, you felt some tingling from your nether region, and you were more than happy to follow his command and you helped him finally remove his shorts and underwear. He was so heavy that his erection fell against his chest. A solid seven inches if you had to guess and just so blushed and pretty for you.

“Look at how perfect you are.” You sat on the side of him on your knees and grabbed it with both hands this time. Showing him how your hands were barely covering him. “I don’t know how you couldn’t know.”

“No one was ever vocal about it. Just one and done.” That broke your heart to hear him being used like that. How many times did he have one-offs with people? How could they only get one time with him? He’s so sweet and cute. Did word get around how amazing his dick was?

“You deserve all the praise, hun. You are a perfect man in and out and I can’t believe I get to be the first person to tell you all of this.” You spit on the tip and spread it around. Watching him shiver at the sensation while he remained focused on your movements.

“You’re so hot. Oh my god. I don’t deserve you.” He reached to stroke your cheek and pull you up to passionately make out while you continued to tug at him. He continued his solo vocal act as he moaned into your mouth and fought for dominance.

You pulled away for a second to just smile at the god-sculpted man you were with. His shirt you wore hung wide open at the collar and he saw right down the shirt. The view allowed him to see you indeed were not wearing pants, let alone underwear and he took note of that fact for later.

After you allowed his tongue to win the battle you decided to take the fight somewhere else and fled back to his lower half. You licked a strip on the bottom of his shaft along the prominent vein and he fully groaned as he threw one arm over his eyes to cover his embarrassed response. His voice was slowly growing deeper the more turned on he became.

You pulled the tip in and began your assault from the side. You knew you wouldn’t be able to fit him all since your gag reflex was still a thing, so you used your hand to stroke the rest.

He had the perfect view, but what really caught his attention was the way you were arching your back and how it exposed your ass. He gave it a good slap and you hummed over him and the response affected you both greatly. You were so surprised that you accidentally took in more than you could handle and came off of him gagging.

He was shocked at how fast you pulled back that he shuffled closer to check, “Are you okay?? Oh man, I’m sorry, love, your ass just looked so slappable and I HAD to do it!”

You were coughing a little, but also laughing at him and his big mouth. He smiled back knowing you were okay enough to laugh.

“Sir, I was focusing so hard on not choking. But apparently you're into that?” His blush was covering his entire face and even his upper chest.

“I mean… I’m not opposed to the idea.” You rolled your eyes at the man that’s pupils were already blown out.

“Han Jisung. Let me have my fun and you’ll have yours in due time. We’ve got months together.”

“Months.” He echoed softly as he thought only of her. Her face was red and had saliva slipping down her chin and he still thought she was the most beautiful creature he laid eyes on.

You returned to your previous task at hand. Before allowing your lips to suck him in, you lapped up the precum that had trickled out in the last few seconds and played with his slit. Small kitten licks on his tip turned him back into the same moaning mess and he arched off the bed. You watched in wonder at how a man could be so handsome and cute at the same time.

The tension and arch caused him to press the tip into your lips and you left butterfly kisses while he tried his best to relax his body for you.

You hollowed your cheeks and took the tip back in. Already feeling like too much for you, but you knew you could handle more and that this god deserved whatever you could offer and more. Your right hand grasped his base and started applying pressure as you stroked it. While your left was rubbing his inner thigh muscle with your nails to mess with him.

Watching him flex and squirm under your watchful eyes was so exhilarating. You could feel the tension in your tummy already adding to the heat and pool dripping down your thighs.

He grasped your ass cheek in his big hand and held on for dear life. Wanting to guide you to the speed he wanted, but also just really wanting to feel you. You hummed on his dick in response to his touch and he happily reached over more to apply pressure to your clit.

You relinquished your lips from him with a sigh, “H- Han. Oh fuck I didn’t expect that. Keep going.” And you returned to your work. But moved your left hand to massage his balls.

“Well, considering how wet you already are, I had to. I saw it dripping.” He took his two fingers from your trigger to slide up through your folds. You hoped they would slip inside but he continued his exploration further up until he was feeling around the rim of you asshole. “Has anyone ever explored here?”

You clenched at the question, but didn’t relinquish your lips around him as you hummed harder. He twitched in your warmth and you could tell he was getting closer.

He took the digits to his mouth to taste you before he even saw you. “God, you taste better than I ever thought. I can’t wait to have you fully.” He went back to grabbing your ass cheek. “Be a good girl and take a little more, please?” He started pushing you down a little and you obliged. Then he slapped harshly.

When you started moaning loudly he started rubbing the spot he just smacked to soothe it. But it didn’t help the way he was feeling. He felt so close and you could tell. “Y/n, babe, I’m so close pull off I don’t-“

You started humming in response and tugging fast. You wanted to milk him and whatever he was going to say was not going to stop you from getting what you wanted. You pulled off to give his tip kisses and more slow licks. You made eye contact as you returned to swallowing him as much as possible.

He sat up with his weight on his elbow as he rubbed your back, “you don’t have to. Y/n, if you don’t stop I’m gonna-“ he groaned as he rubbed your back. You were actively gagging on him and he watched your eyes water and keep your hold on him.

He couldn’t make any more words. He was trying to keep himself calm, but he was gasping for air as he felt the closeness of his release. The humming and the gagging you did along with the eye contact finally sent him.

“God, y/n. I’m gonna- y/n, please. Oh my god, y/n, I love y-“ Han grunted before he released fully down your throat. He grabbed your hair with his free hand and tugged so hard that you continued to moan through his orgasm. His head fell back and he let go the sexiest moan. Each breath in was high pitched but each groan out was slowly getting deeper as he came down.

You made sure to clean up any of his release from his member with your still eager tongue as he was coming down, sometimes coming in contact with his sensitive time and getting him to twitch under your tongue. While the clean up crew was at work, you admired his sweaty form. He fell back onto the bed in such a dramatic fashion you would’ve thought he had just ran a marathon.

“I- I- I did not expect that, y/n. Oh my god you are heaven sent I swear. An angel. The most beautiful human being I’ve ever met. That was the second best feeling I’ve ever felt.” He heaved on the bed completely naked. His heavy dick laid out against his abs that were fully contracted most of the time.

You got off the bed to grab some water. You moved and massaged your tired jaw while he talked. Your jaw was so worn out from not having done that in a while, let alone never having to take someone of his size. Thinking about it, nor had you ever swallowed anything so sweet. It wasn’t really sweet but his cum was something different. You could do that again no problem.

He looked over at your still dressed figure in a blissed out haze. His oversized shirt hung past your ass but he already knew there was nothing beyond his shirt. Thinking about having you in his shirt sent all his blood rushing back to his penis.

“Second?!” You shockingly replied after gulping half of the water bottle. You underhand threw it over to him; hitting him on the leg in the process. He sat up slowly to grab it and drink some too.

After he got a quick sip he realized how his words sounded and pulled the bottle away to fix it, “Oh. Don’t get mad, babe.” He threw his legs over the edge of the bed and reached for your arms. The softy he was, he pulled you to stand in between his legs and snuck his arms under the back of your shirt. He held you by your lower back as he rubbed down over your ass. “Your butt is fantastic by the way.”

You rolled your eyes waiting for him to answer. But he seemed distracted by your ass that he tried to hold in his hands even though it didn’t fully fit. He kept rubbing it and you couldn’t deny it felt like a great massage and made you weak to your knees. You tapped his shoulder to pull him out of his haze.

He looked up to you with all the love he could muster. He wanted to tell you that he loved you. He wasn’t sure if it was the after-glow though and didn’t want to confuse you. “Y/n. That was the best blow job I have ever received. And I know it’s not just because you know how to use every part of you to your advantage, but because you are such an amazing person that makes me feel like a king.” He paused to kiss your arm that was still on his shoulder.

You released his shoulder to grab his cheek. He saw the way your face lit up with a gentle kiss. He gave your wrist a second one. You hummed a little and he took it upon himself to continue slow sensual kisses up your arm. “You are the best thing that’s happened. This. What we are right now. Is something I never expected.” He was still inching his way up to your elbow while he spoke. Reaching your shoulder at the finishing point and coming to stand in front of you. He pulled the collar down to gain access to your collarbone and you fully turned your neck to give him complete control.

“But, the best feeling I’ve felt was when you agreed to come with me on the tour and kissed me that first time.” He was running his nose along your neck breathing ever so lightly while he spoke those words into existence.

You knew then that this was meant to be. Whatever this is and whatever it will be is what it was supposed to be. You couldn’t come up with a response because you were trying to hold back the tears that were trying to escape.

He finally reached your face after his first of many explorations of your body. He saw the tears trying to force their way out and he took his thumb under your eye to help it massage their way out. You should let your emotions out, regardless of what it was.

Your smile was so sweet and he knew you were happy. Happy tears were the most acceptable. Jisung didn’t want to mess this up. He had to keep telling himself that. But he had always known that it’s best to express how he feels rather than hide it. He grabbed your face with both hands, completely forgetting that he was standing there naked and hard, “If you keep being this amazing person you are, I feel like I’m going to fall in love.”

And you gasped quietly as you looked into his eyes, “Han…”

“You don’t need to say anything. I’m just letting you know how deeply and honestly, scarily, I feel for you.”

And here you were crying harder now. You felt so silly crying after giving the man of your dreams a blow job, but that’s life. “Well, I’ve always loved you.” You whispered.

“Say it again.”

“You heard me…” you whimpered into his hand as you started laying pecks to his palms and fingers.

“But I’m not sure I believe what my ears heard.” He whispered back nervously with a breathy giggle slipping out in between

“I’ve always loved you…”

“Oh… y/n. You’re so precious… Not to ruin the moment, but if you don’t kiss me again I think I’m going to start crying too.” You howled amidst your tears and finally met his face with your own. These kisses were not slow or soft. They were passionate, needy. You needed this man to touch you.

His hands were like a flame and you were drawn to their touch. Your body was the gasoline that ignited him into this roaring fire and he couldn’t get enough. You were on him immediately pushing him to sit on the edge of the bed. You straddled his sweaty form and held on for dear life.

His hands kneaded your ass as he helped you rub your aching core against his throbbing cock. He felt so good rubbing against you that you couldn’t imagine anything better. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you hopped into my bed without underwear. You gave me full view before I even touched you.” He grunted through the sensation.

His teeth grazed your chin while you whimpered at the friction where you needed him. He went feral when you started rolling your hips on your own. His dick angled up against his stomach and your clit so you could use that vein on the bottom to rub your trigger against.

“So dirty of you to make me think we’d watch a movie when you were sitting there ready for me.” The pleasure you felt was rolling off you in waves and he just watched you use him like that dildo you hid in your closet back home. He was so turned on watching you work yourself up that he reached for the hem of your shirt to pull it up and off.

The distraction caused you to lose your groove, but it was an easy return when he latched himself to one nipple and his hand tweaked the other. There was so much stimulus that you felt involuntary jerks from his movements.

Your breathing was far from steady as he kept switching his ministries from tongue to teeth. But you fought back for control over the situation as you continued rubbing up on him.

He huffed and stopped everything for a millisecond to scoop your ass in his hands and flip you onto your back. The gasp you released when he basically threw you around made him release his own deep guttural chuckle.

After you caught on to the new location and position you looked to the foot of the bed. You saw Han standing there, staring at you with so much desire and lust while he stroked himself shamelessly at the view. You were finally bare and he was able to take in what he had been wanting to see since you were up in the sky with him.

He had felt your soft curves in his arms, your torso between his legs, and smelled your scent back then. Immediately horny at the thought of being able to squeeze, hold, and grope all of you. But it made his blood rush straight to his dick imagining what all of this looked like underneath the clothes.

And here you were, sweaty and needy. So completely vulnerable to his wanton needs and roaming eyes. He took in how your cheeks were rosy. The way your breast hung slightly to the sides due to their weight. The heaving of your breath. The glistening of your puffy cunt.

He was more than ready to give you everything. Everything you want. Everything he wants.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8

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