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theteasetwrites · 3 years

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The Beginning Is the End Is the Beginning

Chapter 31: Before I Sleep

❧ Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader ❧ Era: Season 5 ❧ Pronouns: she/her ❧ Warnings: mild swearing, scary situation, kind of depressing in some parts tbh ❧ Word Count: 6k

❧ In This Chapter: Your group travels to Virginia in a last-ditch effort to find somewhere to stay. Daryl accompanies you for your own pilgrimage to your childhood home for closure. Broken and weak, your group finds shelter in an abandoned barn, and in the morning, you come to face to face with someone you've been missing for a long time.

❧ A/N: An all-around sad chapter, that gets really happy towards the very end...

The church was overrun.

Bob and Beth were dead.

Eugene lied about having a cure.

Washington was out.

Noah was taking you all to Richmond.

That was where you were now, all of you.

Noah seemed to be confident that his home was safe. You were skeptical, most of you were. Still, you needed to have the promise of a destination. That was what you lived on now, promises.

Promises you made to yourselves, promises others made to you. All promises that couldn’t be kept, but you fell for them anyway.

The only promises you trusted anymore were Daryl’s, and he couldn’t promise you anything in good conscience. There wasn’t much left to promise. All he had was his love, and that was fine for you.

A while after your group buried Beth, you agreed to take Noah to his home in Richmond so he could be with his family. It was as if fate was shining down on you when Rick announced your destination now was Richmond. Like Noah, you came from a suburb of Richmond, and you had a little voice in the back of your head for a while now saying you needed to return home.

You spoke to Rick and Daryl, asking them if you could take a detour to Tuckahoe, your hometown. Of course, you would meet back up with the group at Noah’s home, but you needed to make this personal journey.

Daryl agreed to go with you, though Rick wanted to send more people with you to make sure you were safe. After some convincing, you managed to get Rick to understand that you needed to do this on your own.

It wasn’t a long ways away from Noah’s house, just about twenty minutes by car. You expected the two of you would be back before sundown that day, so you split off from the rest of your group around noon.

Daryl set up a car and soon you were off to Tuckahoe, following closely behind your group’s caravan until you split off as you approached Richmond.

You couldn’t say you were excited. Nothing much excited you due to recent events. Still, there was a strange sense of homecoming within you. Even being within your home state again was somewhat comforting.

You loved Georgia, and passing through the Carolinas the past week or so was a nice change of scenery as well. Nevertheless, Virginia had a special place in your heart.

“We gettin’ close?” Daryl asked you, his one hand loose on the steering wheel and the other nervously picking at the dried skin on his lips. You had insisted on driving, but Daryl wouldn’t let you. You were, not shockingly, still in a lot of pain from being hit by a car a week earlier, so he hardly let you do anything.

You nodded. “It should be the next turn-off. Exit 181-A.”

After a while of giving Daryl directions, and bickering at each other like an old married couple, you finally made the turn onto the street you grew up on, Cedarbrooke Lane.

It was a long road, sprinkled with hundreds of trees and lined with countless charming one-story homes, all built uniformly enough to be attractive, yet uniquely enough to be interesting. Every home had either siding or brick, or a combination of both. Yours was the latter, with red brick broken up by a pale yellow siding.

All the houses were built between the 60s and 70s, but they were all kept up well—at least, before the turn.

Now, everything was overgrown and weathered looking. No one was keeping up appearances because there weren’t any people to appear for. The once lively neighborhood, where children played on the manicured lawns and their parents watched from their covered porches and sipped lemonade in the Virginia summer heat, was a ghost town. You didn’t expect it to be thriving, but it was eerie to see such a vibrant part of your childhood deteriorating at the hands of time.

“There,” you stretched your hand across Daryl to point to your childhood home. You hardly even recognized it. The once charming yellow paint had chipped away and faded to a solemn off-white. “There it is,” you muttered.

Daryl pulled into the driveway, feeling oddly anxious. It wasn’t like he was meeting your parents or anything, but that’s how it felt in a way. He found himself thinking of some kind of alternate universe in which he actually could meet your family. He would be sized up by your father, doted on by your mother, engaged in awkward conversation by your brother, hounded by the family dog, and stared at ambivalently by the family cat.

It wasn’t that he necessarily wanted that, but it was something he thought about. It was, after all, the way things used to be.

Now, you were lucky if any of your family were actually alive, and if they were alive, it was likely that they were half-dead.

You took a deep breath before unbuckling your seatbelt. Daryl looked over at you as you stared blankly at the dashboard. “You okay?” he asked quietly.

You flinched a bit at the sudden sound of his gruff voice cutting through the air. “Yeah,” you said, nodding your head and swallowing hard. “Just… nervous.” You laughed awkwardly. “Don’t know why. I know what’s in there.”

He tentatively rested his hand on your knee. “Whatever we find,” he said, “if we find anythin’ at all, you still have a family. And you ain’t alone.”

He wasn’t sure if he said the right thing, but he was trying. You looked up at him with tears in your eyes, and held his hand as it squeezed your knee. “I know,” you sniffled. “I’m ready.”

Approaching the steps leading up to the porch, you took a long gaze at the state of the place. The black window shutters were covered in overgrown ivy, and the window boxes where you and your father used to plant bright pink and purple petunias were dried up and cracking at the seams.

Approaching the door, Daryl raised his crossbow and planted himself in front of you. “I’ll go in first,” he said.

You shook your head and reached for your axe. “No, I want to do this.”

Daryl hesitated, looking between you and the door. “At least let me knock first.”

You sighed sharply. “Do what you have to do.”

He did just that, knocking on the door’s window and peering in to see if he could see anything. The window was too caked in dust from the inside, so he ended up just looking at his own reflection.

When no one came to answer the door, Daryl opened it for you and let you walk in first.

You walked slowly through the living room, trying to ignore the dark red stains on the wood floor that had long crusted over. You turned the corner to walk into the kitchen and dining area, which had been completely ransacked. Going down the hallway and into the first bedroom, which was once your brother’s but had belonged in recent years to your step-sister, you saw the rotting corpse of your mother.

Though she was decomposed beyond facial recognition, you knew it was her by the dress she was wearing. It was one of her favorites, and a hideous avocado green color no one else would be caught dead in.

Her skin was leathery and stretched across her bones in a way that made your own skin crawl. She was almost a skeleton, except for the flesh that was still clinging to something.

Stepping closer to her body, strewn out on the floor at the foot of the bed, you began to kneel down to see what happened to her.

There weren’t any visible bite marks, and the .44 Magnum in her near-skeletal hand and the matching hole in the side of her head told you it was self-inflicted.

You were silent for a while, and Daryl figured it was your mother, so he quietly began to search the rest of the modest three bedroom home.

You didn’t cry, at least not as much as you thought you should have. She was your mother, but you didn’t like her.

While she was cruel and insensitive to your brother, she dressed you up like a doll and paraded you around like some kind of trophy. It wasn’t that you had ever been especially gifted, but she wanted you to live up to something.

She wanted you to be like her, but to be the perfect version of her.

Even when you did something to make her angry, she would spout verbal abuse and express how disappointed she was in you.

If your father hadn’t been the saint he was, and if you didn’t have such wonderful grandparents, you were sure you would have ended up far worse than you did.

Though you never liked her much, you wished things had turned out differently. You weren’t at all surprised to find she had killed herself, and from the looks of it, she did it not long after the outbreak. If she had to go out, she was going to do it her own way. That’s how stubborn she was.

You supposed the two of you had that in common.

“The house is clear,” Daryl said to you quietly as he stood in the doorway.

You nodded, still looking down at your mother’s bony face, no longer possessing any muscles to display her last facial expression.

Rising to your feet, you walked past Daryl and into your old bedroom. Surprisingly, she had kept it in the same state you left it in when you went to college. The walls were painted the same periwinkle blue, and your antique wrought iron daybed was untouched, with your floral duvet still tucked in neatly and the decorative throw pillows still fluffed up as if waiting for you to rest your head on them.

All the books in your bookcase were covered in dust, but they were still in the alphabetized order you arranged them in meticulously.

The artwork was still there, too. You were sure your mother would have sold it. There were a few prints of Mucha and Rossetti paintings framed above your bed, and a slew of vintage postcards you collected and pasted on your wall, much to your mother’s chagrin.

The only change you saw was the minimal wooden cross nailed awkwardly above your paintings. It was there from the time you were an infant to the time when you stopped believing in God. She must have put it back up when you left.

“Could tell this was your room,” Daryl said from behind you. “No one else would have that bedspread.”

You turned and smirked at him, though your eyes betrayed a melancholy. “It’s vintage.”

He nodded, and the two of you were silent again. “You wanna bury her?”

You closed your eyes and sighed, raising your hand to your head and pressing it to your temple. “I guess I should.”

He shrugged. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“How about… we just cover her up. With a blanket or something,” you suggested.

Daryl nodded. “If that’s what ya want.”

“It is,” you said. “She was a bitch, but she at least deserves a blanket.”

You took one last long look at her before tossing an old quilt your grandmother had made over her. On your way out of the house, you stopped by the wall near the front door where your mother kept pictures of your family.

Most of the pictures were of her, your step-father, and his daughter, but there was one of you, your father, and your brother. It was actually taken at the quarry near Atlanta. Your dad had his arms around both of you. You were about six years old you guessed, and your brother was around twelve. All three of you were smiling so wide, and you looked closely to see that your brother was holding bunny ears behind your head.

That little shit.

“That you?” Daryl asked, pointing to the picture.

“Mhm, me, my dad, and my brother,” you pointed to each face respectively. “We were camping at the quarry. I remember that day. I accidentally brushed my teeth with sunscreen.”

His lips upturned just a bit before he returned to his usual serious expression. He was a lot more serious lately.

You reached forward to take off the picture frame and removed the back to take out the photo and folded it into your pocket.

“In case we ever have a place to hang it up in,” you said.

The ride back was quiet, but you used the time to gather your thoughts. Now that you knew what was left of your family, at least, part of it, you could rest just a little easier.

As the sign welcoming visitors to Tuckahoe, VA faded from view in the rear view mirror, you smiled ever so slightly. It wasn’t that you were happy, not at all. Rather, it was that you felt relief.

When you met up with the others outside of Noah’s suburb, you were shocked to find that Tyreese had been bit, and that he had died from blood loss.

To make matters worse, Noah’s family was dead, too. Now, there really wasn’t anywhere to go, or anything to look forward to. If Noah’s town wasn’t safe either, there was no way you could stay there.

Rick asked you about Tuckahoe, but the place was crawling with walkers, too. Even if you stayed back near your house where there were less of them, they would gain on you sooner or later.

Now your group was smaller again. You didn’t know Tyreese as well as you would have liked, but you knew he was a good man. Sasha was completely devastated, and you understood why.

Not only had she just lost her brother, she lost Bob, too, and they had just begun to share in some kind of romantic relationship.

Maggie was heartbroken, too. Seeing Beth in that state was too much for her to bear, so she shut herself away from you all.

Even though you had only lost three people in the last week, it was more like you lost five, and all of you lost parts of yourself.

With nowhere to go, your group decided to keep pushing towards Washington, D.C. Eugene had admitted to you all that there really was no cure that he knew of, and that he wasn’t a scientist at all. He just wanted someone to take him to D.C. because he thought it was his best bet for survival.

Any positive feelings you had towards him evaporated along with any hope of the world ever changing.

You weren’t sure how long you had been on the road since Tuckahoe, but you knew the van your group was traveling in was on its way out.

“We’re out,” Abraham said. “Just like the other one.”

“So we walk,” replied Rick.

Walking—it was ten times harder than it used to be. You were running on no food and barely any water, and there wasn’t any time to sleep either.

For all Daryl’s efforts, he couldn’t find anything in the surrounding woods, just worms and tree bark. So, that’s what you ate.

When Daryl sat down on a log with you and handed you a pile of squirming pink earthworms intermixed with flecks of mud, which he had tried to clean off as best as possible, you stared at it for a moment in disappointment. Have we really come to this?

“Eat,” he said, raising his hand higher to your face. “Ain’t much but it’s somethin’. Just don’t think about it.”

You took a deep, exasperated breath, then shakily picked the worm that moved the least and closed your eyes shut before tossing it into your mouth and chewing it as quickly as possible, hoping to bypass any gag reflex.

Swallowing hard, Daryl handed you his plastic water bottle, which only had a few sips left. You looked at him with concern. “We should save this,” you said.

He shook his head. “Drink, you need it. Ain’t seen ya drink all day. ‘Sides, it’ll wash down the worm.”

That worm didn’t exactly hit the spot, but it kept you going a bit longer.

The mid-afternoon sun beamed down on you all oppressively, causing your already weakening eyes to squint until you could hardly see a thing.

You were sure that you were all walking so slow you could easily be mistaken for walkers from a distance. Still, they seemed to follow you, probably detecting the scent of life, though it was becoming faint.

“We’re not at our strongest,” Rick said to Daryl as he looked back to check on the small herd that was gaining on you from an increasingly shorter distance. “We’ll get ‘em when it’s best. High ground, something like that.”

Daryl and Carol went off to find food soon after that, and your group waited there on the road for them. Soon, the walkers caught up with you. Death caught up with you, like it always did.

You all stood on the road frozen, unsure of what to do. You had your axe but no energy in you to lift it over your head, and no will, either. Not wanting to waste that limited energy, you all let the walkers come to you and pushed them away off the slope of the road when they got close enough.

It was agreed you wouldn’t actually kill any of them now, just slow them down so you could start walking again. But when Sasha decided to plunge her knife through a walker’s head, that seemed to rouse the walkers even more.

“Plan just got dicked,” said Abraham.

Now, you had to fight as they picked up their pace. You shakily raised your axe and landed it in the walker’s skull with all the strength you could muster. It wasn’t enough to penetrate its brain, and now your axe was stuck. It was desperate for a sharpening, but you didn’t have the means of doing that.

With the axe still in its head, the walker pushed you down and pinned you to the dirt road beneath you. With one fluid motion of Michonne’s katana, she sliced its head in two. “Thanks,” you sighed.

Daryl and Carol came back empty-handed, and he went out again a little later to try to find something, anything, but there was nothing.

Completely demoralized, your group sat on the road to rest. When a pack of hungry dogs came your way, Sasha didn’t hesitate to shoot them. Daryl did the dirty work and cooked them up over the small fire you made.

None of you looked at each other as you ate that evening. The dog meat was enough to satiate your shrunken stomachs, but they were starving, too, and didn’t have much nutrients to them.

The sun was close to setting when you continued on again, still only able to move your feet at an incredibly slow pace. Daryl went off again, and he told you to tell everyone he went looking for water. When you called out to him, trying to get him to stay with the group, he ignored you.

Ever since you lost Beth, he wanted to be alone more than he did before. You hoped that he wasn’t reverting back to his old ways, but you were sure it was just his way of grieving.

So you let him go off on his own, though not without worry.

Walking alongside the others, the road began to rise and revealed to you an odd sight—a stash of plastic water bottles.

You were the first one to reach it, your gait increasing to the fastest walk you had done in a while. Just looking at the clear liquid inside those bottles reminded you of how dry your throat was.

Stopping in your tracks, you noticed a piece of paper lying across the top of the stash. “From a friend,” it read. You looked over to your group who were following you behind, now picking up their pace, too.

Rick looked around suspiciously. “Someone must be watching us,” he said.

Well, at least you knew it wasn’t what was left of Terminus. Rick and the others had dealt with that problem back at Gabriel’s church while you and Daryl were in Atlanta.

Still, it could be poisoned or tampered with in some way. No matter how thirsty you were, you didn’t want to take the risk.

When Daryl returned, he looked at the water curiously before you presented him with the note. He immediately removed his crossbow and looked around defensively.

“What else are we gonna do?” Tara asked.

“Not this,” said Rick. “We don’t know who left it.”

“If that’s a trap,” said Eugene, “we already happen to be in it. But I, for one, would like to think it is indeed from a friend.”

“What if it isn’t?” asked Carol. “And they put something in it?”

Eugene didn’t waste anymore time contemplating the risks. He lunged forward to pick up a bottle and unscrew it.

“Eugene,” Rosita said sternly.

“What are you doing, dude?” asked Tara.

He brought the bottle to his mouth. “Quality assurance,” he said. Before he could take a sip, Abraham smacked it away from him.

“We can’t,” Rick insisted.

A distant rumble came from somewhere just then, though you couldn’t pinpoint the direction. You knew it was thunder. Your stomach had stopped growling days ago when it knew it wasn’t going to do any good.

You felt the first droplets begin to trickle down onto your face as you looked up to the cloudy sky. It’s a miracle.

You sighed heavily and closed your eyes to let yourself feel the cool, cleansing water rain down on you.

Laughing, you looked at Daryl as he stood next to you, also letting the rain trickle down his weary face. He wasn’t nearly as happy as you, and he couldn’t even look your way as he stared at the gravel beneath him.

You took his hand in yours, causing him to look at you with those blue, hooded eyes hidden behind strands of wet, dark hair. He looked exhausted, worried, ashamed. He put too much on himself, too much responsibility for everything that had happened. You knew that, but you wished he didn’t think that way, as if everything was his fault.

“We’re still alive,” you assured him, hoping it would be some consolation for the pain he felt that was so evident in his downcast eyes.

When the rest of your group’s state of euphoria died down, the torrential outpour was starting to remind you that you needed a place to stay for the night. If you stayed out in the rain, you would all get sick, and none of you were in the state to fight that off.

Daryl had seen a barn when he last separated from the group, so he led you all there to seek shelter for the night as the inclement weather raged on outside.

The barn was pretty dilapidated, but it was dry enough for your group to stay in. You wandered around a bit and found a big stack of books in the corner of the barn. Someone else must have been holed up there for a while before you came along, you guessed it was the lone walker Maggie killed when she and a few of the others were checking to see if it was safe.

“She had good taste,” you said to yourself under your breath. Rummaging through the stack, you uncovered a dusty compendium of American poems. You thought perhaps it would be as good a time as any to use the free time you had during the storm to read.

You were about to settle into the corner to be alone, in a kind of makeshift fort surrounded by books, but Daryl walked over to you before you could. “Come sit by the fire,” he said to you.

You sighed. “I was going to read.” You held the book up in your hands.

“You can read at the fire,” he replied. “You’ll freeze your ass off over here, and you’re soakin’ wet.”

True, plus there wasn’t much light at all where you were. “Okay.”

It was a small fire, but it was enough to warm you a little.

Sitting down with Daryl, he attempted to make the fire bigger by adding a piece of wood he picked up on his way over to you. He huffed and threw the thing down on the ground when it didn’t seem to even want to catch on fire.

“I’ll try,” said Glenn.

“No, too wet,” he replied.

There was an eerie silence lingering now, only interrupted by the harsh sound of the rain pounding against the roof of the barn, and the thunder bursting from somewhere in the distance.

“What you got?” Michonne asked, nudging her head towards the book in your shaky hands. You were colder than you thought.

You looked down at the dusty paperback and shrugged. “Just… some poetry book.”

More silence, and the feeling of several pairs of eyes on you. “Maybe you could read us something?” asked Carol. She knew you liked to read to Daryl, and that it calmed him down and took his mind off of things. She thought you could do that for the group, too.

You looked at her wide-eyed. “I don’t think anyone wants me to.”

Rick shook his head. “Nah, read us somethin’.”

You looked at Daryl. His eyes were fixated on the small fire before him, as if it was challenging him, ridiculing him.

“Go on,” said Glenn.

It all felt too serious to read a poem to them around the fire. Not even all of your group was there, the others were scattered about the barn. Carl was asleep, so your main audience would be Rick, Carol, Michonne, Glenn, and Daryl. Still, you supposed most of them wanted to hear it, except Daryl who didn’t say anything.

You took a deep breath, then thumbed through the pages to find something appropriate for the mood. It wouldn’t be the best idea to read about something particularly happy or romantic at a time like this, so you opted for a poem by Robert Frost that you remembered reading in high school.

It was a simple poem, but it was perfect.

You cleared your throat, then looked around again hesitantly to make sure they really did want to hear it. “It’s called ‘Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening’ by Robert Frost.”

You swallowed hard before beginning:

“Whose woods these are I think I know.

His house is in the village though;

He will not see me stopping here

To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer

To stop without a farmhouse near

Between the woods and frozen lake

The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake

To ask if there is some mistake.

The only other sound’s the sweep

Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.”

You looked up from the book and were met with the same faces, but with something different in their eyes. You shrugged. “I hope that was okay.”

Rick nodded at you. “It was beautiful,” he said. “Thank you.”

Daryl went out again for a while after that. You were worried sick of him being out in the dark, rainy night, but you figured he wanted his space. It was better than him lashing out at everyone like he used to do when he was upset.

When he came back, he was soaking wet, and you were laying down in the dark corner of the barn where you had found the books. It wasn’t comfortable on the ground, but there was that old familiarity in the faint smell of dusty books surrounding you.

You were half asleep when Daryl knelt down next to you and laid a bath towel over your body. He had seen a small shed earlier not too far away, and he went to scavenge it when he noticed you were cold earlier. “Daryl…” you muttered sleepily, your eyes still closed. “What is this?”

“Blanket,” he said simply. “You were shiverin’.”

You slowly opened your eyes. “Oh my god,” you said, taking in his soaked appearance. “You’re drenched.” His now almost shoulder-length hair was completely dripping, and his shirt would have been sticking to his skin more if it weren’t for his leather vest. Still, he was wet enough to kick in your worry mode. “Here,” you quickly peeled the towel off of you and wrapped it around his shoulders. “You need it more than I do.”

He pushed your hands away. “No,” he said. “You keep it.”

You tried wrapping him up in the towel again, but he rose to his feet. “Damnit, woman,” he said angrily, trying not to wake the others. “Told ya I’m fine.”

You frowned up at him. “Talk to me, Daryl.”

He scoffed. “About what?”

“About Beth.”

He looked at you silently. “There ain’t nothin’ to talk about.”

“Yes, there is. I know her death affected you.” You patted the ground next to you. “Sit with me.”

He hesitated for a while, so you broke out your innocent doe-eyes, the ones he simply couldn’t resist. He sat himself down and folded his legs in with his arms.

You rested your hand on his forearm and began rubbing it up and down, the droplets still fresh from the rain. It was a miracle he was able to keep the towel dry on the way back. “You know it wasn’t your fault, right?”

You knew Daryl. He had a tendency to blame himself for things that were out of his control, and he always put himself down. You were sure it was a side effect of being mentally abused for at least half of his life, and the thought of him, the man you admired most in the world, thinking that he was worthless broke your heart.

He looked down at his feet for a while before speaking. “Jus’… shoulda never let our guard down… back at the funeral home. She might be here.”

You tilted your head. “You can’t think like that. If you do, every little thing you do is going to be the cause of something else. That’s no way to live your life.” You brushed a strand of his wet hair back behind his ear. “The walkers would have come no matter what, and Beth would have had to run anyway.” You paused. “I… I regret not leaving with her, but I would also regret it if I hadn’t and you had died. Either way, I lose somehow.”

“Was tryin’ to protect ya both, get the walkers away.”

“I know,” you said reassuringly. “And you did protect us.”

He shook his head. “Nah, shoulda done somethin’ different. Never should have left either of you alone.”

You sighed. “I know it’s hard, but you can’t think like that.”

“Can’t help it,” he said. “I just keep thinkin’ about how…” He trailed off as he played with a piece of hay in his fingers.

“How what?”

He moved his head up to look at you, then swallowed hard. His face was still wet, but you were sure he was starting to cry, too. “How… how I couldn’t keep Beth safe…” He sniffled. “And I can’t keep you safe.”

Your eyebrows knit together when he hung his head in shame and let out a few whimpers and sobs that sent tiny pins and needles into your heart. “Oh, Daryl,” you said, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him close to you. “I’m right here, aren’t I?”

He didn’t say anything, just kept his head held down so it almost rested on his knees. You squeezed him tighter. “Daryl, look at me.” He wiped his face with his hand roughly before turning to look your way, your face just a few inches from his. “Am I here?”

He blinked his eyes, as if expecting you to disappear. “Y-yeah.”

You smiled. “Then you can keep me safe.” You unwrapped your arms from around him and brought your hands up to hold his face delicately. He was a strong, firm man, but you always handled him like a rose whose petals threatened to fall with even the slightest of movement. “It’s you and me till the end, whether you like it or not.”

He smirked, wiping away a few more tears. “Is that a promise?”

You nodded. “You bet your ass it is, and I intend on keeping it. Now let’s go to sleep.”

You wrapped the towel around the both of you. It couldn’t stretch enough for both of your bodies, but it kept you warm and helped Daryl get dry.

He laid with you for a while until you fell asleep, then quietly got up to take watch, making sure the towel covered you completely before he did.

Your slumber didn’t last long.

You were stirred awake by a cacophony of sounds, including the raging rain and thunder outside, Daryl’s grunts, and the snarls of walkers. You jolted up to see Daryl pushing against the barn doors where a herd of walkers was bombarding the thin wood slabs with all the force of a hungry mob.

Without hesitation, you bolted to the door and threw your weight against it with Daryl. Soon, others joined, and before long every single person in your group, except Judith, who was crying profusely, was pushing back against the walkers.

You grunted and groaned in pain as the wood splintered into your skin the more the walkers pushed back against you. Your heels dug into the dirt floor, your teeth clenched, and your entire body felt weightless against the force of at least a couple dozen walkers from the looks of it.

At some point, you lost track of the series of events. When you woke up with the sun that morning, leaning against the barn doors with Daryl at your side. Of course, he wasn’t asleep.

You yawned and leaned your head tentatively against his shoulder. “Good morning,” you said looking up at his dirty face.

“Mornin’.” He tried to smile at you a little, but the weight of the seemingly hopeless situation you were in cemented a dejected look onto his tired face.

In an effort to soothe him, you leaned up and kissed his cheek. “Hey,” you said quietly, barely above a whisper, “we’re alive.”

“Hey,” Maggie’s voice called out to your group from outside the barn doors. You raised your head from Daryl’s shoulder and stood up with him. She peeked in through the door as she opened it cautiously. “Everyone…” You reached for your axe while Daryl moved in front of you with his crossbow as he saw a man following behind Maggie, and Sasha following him. You, however, couldn’t see anything, on account of Daryl’s broad shoulders blocking your view. “This is Aaron.”

Daryl moved swiftly to close the door behind Maggie, Sasha, and the newcomer as they came in. The others cocked their guns and pointed at him, but you just looked at him.

“We met him outside, he’s by himself,” Maggie said. “We took his weapons and we took his gear.”

You had been hit by a car before, so you know what it felt like. You had been shot, too. You had been punched and kicked and knocked the wind out of several times over, but nothing could prepare you for this.

You stood frozen, staring at him as Daryl aggressively patted him down, then looked back at you from over the man’s shoulder. In a reversal of roles, he couldn’t read your expression. If he had to guess, he’d say it was somewhere between bewilderment and ecstasy.

Your eyes wide and your mouth agape, you willed yourself to move your legs forward when the man gave you a knowing look, then a wide, joyous smile.

You lumbered forward slowly and dropped your axe to the ground with a puff pluming to surround your feet in a small cloud of dust and hay.

Daryl grunted at you, his way of telling you to stay back from the stranger. You inched closer, the others watching you out of the corner of their eyes as they steadied their sights on the man.

You stopped dead in your tracks when it hit you that you weren’t hallucinating, and that he was really there and not singing an old wartime song to you in your dying stupor.

You covered your mouth with both hands and sobbed. “Aaron!”

Thanks for reading! Likes, reblogs, and comments of any kind are always appreciated!

Series Masterlist Next Chapter ➳

✏ Taglist

#daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon #the walking dead #the walking dead fanfic #twd #twd fanfic #the beginning series

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hobisexually · 2 years

Note

Hey Amber, I wanted to ask you about Seasonal Affective Disorder. I remember you talked about it some time ago, and I wanted to ask if you have any advice on how to deal with it. I'm trying to figure out where I want to live, and as someone from the south of Europe with mild depression it makes me wary of moving up north, cause everytime it gets rainy/grey for like a week I feel the difference in my mental health. Do you have any advice/thoughts? Thank you, I hope you have a warm day!

Hiya babes!

Um, yeah, so. This is the whole reason Scandinavia isn’t on the list for me, hahah, I would Not be able to handle such few hours of daylight for such long periods of time. And I do have to admit that it gets hard here (or in the UK) sometimes as well, but it’s worth it for me because I do genuinely love where I live. It’s difficult, but you learn to deal with it.

So first I’d check with yourself where you see yourself living, and why, and then start thinking about what you can do regarding your seasonal affective disorder.

Then, first disclaimer: I didn’t get diagnosed, I didn’t see a doctor about this, I figured it out on my own. I cannot stress this enough: THAT IS A BAD IDEA. Go see a doctor, if you think you have it, and get your blood checked as well to see if you have a vitamin D deficiency, for example. Your doctor can help think of ways to make it easier to bear so you don’t have to figure it out all on your own or accidentally fuck up your rhythm.

That being said, there’s been a few game changers for me, once I admitted this was something I deal with:

What I found helps is to invest in a daylight lamp. An actual therapy lamp, not the sunset ones. Although if you can spare the money, get one of those as well: my alarm clock is a sunset lamp and it does make getting out of bed in winter slightly easier, because it gets progressively brighter the closer it gets to your alarm. I have one from Philips, it does do its job nicely, I am less groggy in the morning when I use it and wake up more gradually, so you feel slightly more refreshed when you get out of bed. I say slightly because I still am anything but a morning person and I do notice the difference vs: summer months, but it’s not as big a nightmare as it usually is in winter and every step is a win tbh.

As for the actual therapy lamp, it’s been a life saver for me. Check with a doctor or therapist how long you need to sit in front of it, but it’s best to start at the end of September and sit in front of it in the morning while you have breakfast or do your makeup or something. It is vital that you start in time — I often forget until November and by then I am already miserable and wondering what the fuck is up with me and why I feel so out of sorts. It takes two weeks to take effect, so if you start by the end of September then by the time it’s mid October and the days are getting shorter, you’ll already be stocked up on your vitamin levels! I tended to dissociate a lot when SAD had arrived (which, the abbreviation for that is very fitting, no? yikes) but when I use my therapy lamp, the dissociating spells are almost entirely gone. am I still sadder and more tired than usual? sure, but not NEARLY as bad as it used to be, it makes a world of difference for me.

Also, I take magnesium and vitamin D supplements especially in the winter months. If you’re from the south of Europe I’m assuming you also have darker skin than Northern Europeans and when you’re, well, not white, you get a vitamin D deficiency much quicker than the locals do. I take my vitamin D supplements year round because I’m apparently permanently suffering from a deficiency, and it does really help to keep me sane and a bit more energised. In the summer I slack a bit but I do immediately notice a difference!

This sounds dumb, maybe, but music. Songs that either lift my spirits and serotonin levels, OR let me wallow in my moodiness: they just make it all a bit easier to bear.

And if you need to sleep more during those days, that’s okay! That’s your body telling you what it needs, and apparently it needs more time to recharge.

Also: remember it’s not you. That monster in your head, that deep dark pit, or that grey cloud over your thoughts — it’s not you, and it also doesn’t last forever. The second the sun is out you’ll feel better, and the sun always, always returns in the end. That’s what I hold onto when I am in the thick of it.

Lastly, I hate to say it, but excercise and journaling are beneficial to stay in touch with what you really feel. Do I exercise? No msmsms but the short amount of time I did yoga after work in the winter months I did notice a difference, I instantly felt more clarity, especially because yoga forces you to tune in with your body. And writing out what you feel is good to get a grip on what it is exactly that’s going on in your brain, and also to differentiate between /you/ and the SAD. sometimes you have no idea why you’re feeling as low as you do, until you write it down and you’re like “oh, HANG ON, it’s winter! here SAD went again! shit!” rather than blaming yourself for feeling so low.

I hope some of that helped, though I know it’s expensive things to invest in or they’re a hassle to do, but they did really help for me. And I feel for you, it really is the worst, I always forget what it feels like during the summer because you can barely imagine, and then suddenly it hits you like a truck again.

I’m always here if you ever wanna talk about it some more!

#i sound like I do all these things but I forget a lot #the reality is that I lay in bed read fic and feel miserable after work #but when I remember to do these things: it genuinely helps #and also talk about it with your friends #so you feel less alone and more understood #sometimes that’s all that keeps you going sometimes and it relieves some of the pressure #I’d say to eat well but that would make me a condescending hypocrite because eating well is the first thing to go for me dmdmdmsm #seasonal affective disorder #seasonal depression #messages #anonymous #keep #as a reminder to myself too in a few months dndnddn

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noa-nightingale · 3 years

Text

Gay Oar!!! ✨💖 - second post

After I wrote my nerdy little text about the appearance of Oar Oar in the Mansa Musa PH ep (you can find that post here), I naturally also had to write one about Sword Oar appearing in the Smallpox ep.

I honestly should have expected him to show up sooner or later after his boyfriend already did but it still caught me off guard. ✨

I’ll use my beautiful “autisticwatcher” tag for this (and if you also have to say things about Watcher-related autism stuff or autism-related Watcher stuff, feel free to use it too). Here is an attempt to justify it even though this topic probably is not inherently autistic: a) I experience every part of life through an autistic lense and b) the ways I express joy are... let’s say, atypical.

Here’s what I mean by that (and don’t worry, this is going somewhere): I am not a very outwardly expressive person. My face is kind of neutral most of the time (you could call it resting bitch bastard face), I have a voice that is often monotonous, and I don’t like showing strong emotions.

And this is what I did when Sword Oar showed up: I sort of jerked back in my chair and clapped my hands once. Then continued watching the episode with the biggest autistic grin (i.e. with what probably looked like a mild smile from the outside). ✨

Let’s get into it! Once again, it brought me great happiness to write this, and - be warned - some of this stuff is pretty specific. And once again, I did not expect that I would spend my time writing about a sponsorship part. ^-^

Enjoy! 💖

“Okay, moving along! Oh-” - “Oar are we!” Never stop with the oar puns, please. I live for the oar puns.

I think I already talked about Oar Oar’s voice and how much I like it but Sowrd Oar’s voice is equally amazing (sometimes a bit hard to understand but I can live with that - I love that voice). I also enjoyed his soft little laugh in the beginning. It was sweet.

We get a little more info on the Professor who apparently smells like “rotten cotton candy mixed with expired vinegar” (also, the sound effect after that killed me lol). Oof. Didn’t have to expose him like that lmao. I like that Sword Oar says to the Professor “I like you but you are a smelly guy” - confirming that he indeed likes him (I have one or two headcanons about this but I am... not going to mention them here, for reasons I will write about below).

The sponsor for this episode is Scentbird, and Sword Oar starts talking about “smelling seasonally appropriate” which I like - we are transitioning into autumn, the leaves will change soon, it is almost Over the Garden Wall rewatch time (I usually start my annual rewatch in October), and I just like the autumn vibes, the thoughts of pumpkins and colorful leaves and little ghosts. It’s my favorite time of the year. 🍂

Here’s a quote from the episode: “put that light sexy summer fragrances on the shelf in exchange for a thick seductive scent for the colder months”.

Okay okay OKAY you... you can’t do this to me!! >:( I have Thoughts about this, okay? Again, I am not giving you any details here (see below) but I have one or two new ideas about Sword Oar’s and Oar Oar’s relationship, and all this talk about “sexy” and “seductive” is not helping.

Like... not to get too depressed in a post about anthropomorphic oars and a sponsorship but there was a time when it was not even legal to be gay (and that time was not that long ago) and there was a time when I did not see any happy queer representation in any media. (I had Brokeback Mountain and that movie is sad as all hell; it breaks my heart every time I watch it, it is incredibly tragic, and that was pretty much the only thing I saw happening to queer people in fiction when I was growing up - struggle, suffering and death. It does something to a queer teenager, is what I am saying. And you carry that pain into adulthood, even if things do get better.)

And then look at these oars - openly gay, openly in love and openly sexual with each other. Yes I am getting emotional about a goofy little quote in a friggin’ sponsorship part, goddamnit!! Even considering all the things that are better now, queer people still get hurt and harassed and harmed and sometimes killed for being queer, and queer sexuality is still stigmatized, and it means a lot to me to have these puppets who are just so unapologetically gay and talk openly about it.

Maybe all of this is an overreaction to a tiny little quote. But it makes me happy (and sad), and I want to talk about it. ❤️

Moving on! To more queer stuff (it is more lighthearted this time, don’t worry)! :D

He mentions not having arms or legs, and that’s the bane of my existence tbh. You probably know by now that I draw a lot of gay oars art, and I have complained before about the fact that these guys don’t have hands. Do you know how many gentle things I could draw if they had hands? You can’t lovingly hold someone’s face without hands, you can’t intertwine your fingers with them, you can’t hug them without arms. So. Yeah. The audacity! /lh

(Come to think of it, Maizey and Gebra don’t have hands either. Shane Madej, sir, I am begging you, please give your LGBTQ+ characters hands!)

Here is another quote: “Let me give you a rundown of some of the sweet sweet sniffs I’ve been dancing with thanks to Scentbird.” Ugh it sounds so charming. It’s just such a charming way to put it. 🌻

He then lists some fragrances and I especially want to mention Confessions of a Rebell - Morning After, and the quote “hot nights never smelled so good”.

I AM ASKING YOU AGAIN

WHY

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME

And again, I won’t go into all the new headcanons and ideas and thoughts I have about these oars and here is the reason - I don’t know how many minors are following me. Like, I don’t want to make this stuff sound too lewd or crass because I think that queer sexuality is already too often seen as something “dirty” instead of something perfectly okay and natural. Still, I will keep some of my thoughts to myself. Let’s just say, I am very fond of... all of this. 😊

Annnnyyyyways, Sword Oar lists a whole lot of other stuff, and I know that he has to talk about the sponsor, but what I am getting from this is, the guy really likes his scents.

He mentions amber+leather, he mentions lavender, and he mentions Gendarme - Sky which is a “complex and sultry blend of bergamot, cardamom and aged leather”, and I now have a few more ideas about what Oar Oar smells like. (Personally, I like “masculine” scents. Wood, leather and the like.)

Watcher has a code again (you can get 30% off). ✨

The last thing I want to mention is this: “you delicious thing, you”. I am not entirely sure if he is talking to the Professor or the audience but I am okay with both. Because a) I already have a headcanon about the oars and the Professor (which I will not talk about here because, again, there are probably some minors following me) and b) ... oh to be called a “delicious thing” by an anthropomorphic gay oar. 😘

That’s it for now. I spent the better part of three hours with this and hey, if you want to do me a favor, be kind to a queer person today (and if you are any flavor of LGBTQ+, please be kind to yourself - you are wonderful). 💖

I did not mean for this whole text to be this emotional and sometimes sad but I don’t mind it either.

Thanks for reading! ✨💕

❤️ 💛 💚 💙 💜

Also, here is some of my older art. Seemed appropriate. ^-^

#watcher #puppet history #gay oars #autisticwatcher #the professor #shane madej

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just-like-playing-tag · 3 years

Note

Why would the anime team do this? This is reminding of when I started watching Fullmetal Alchemist from 2003. I could understand why that anime was different from the manga because it was finished. The Promised Neverland has competed manga with so much material to work with. Why would the anime team not use any of it?

I know right? This is the question that most often came to my mind last week and especially yesterday. These are some hypothesis I came up with, but all of them are nothing more than suppositions.

Misogyny. Didn't want to spend time and money on a shonen with a female protagonist. I'm sorry but this is the first answer that comes to my mind. Would also explain why Emma has been so harshly disrespected, and why all the arcs where she had her chance to show how strong she was have been cut off. Maybe mild, naïve, useless Emma fits Japanese audience more? I don't think that's real at all, but I recognize there's a possibility that this is how the anime might perceive its audience. I don't know. It's 2021. I can't believe this shit is still real.

The story being to dark. I mean this is a possibility I've read around but? Tpn is dark? Get over it? The first season was already enough dark. There's a bunch of graphical stuff in the other arcs but... That's just how it is? I believe an adaptation should try to stay original to the core of its source material ://

Low budget. This is the most obvious answer: animating Goldy Pond fight scenes might cost a lot. Hiring so many voice actors for all the new characters has an high price as well. But... Is that really something the series can't afford? The Promised Neverland was the 7th best-selling media franchise in Japan for 2019 and the 10th for 2020 according to Oricon. I don't get why they would chose not to invest a lot on a series that is evidently loved in Japan. Usually when you're handling a franchise with that kind of good sellings you'd want to make it last as long as possible. Had it been Disney, tpn would have lasted 10 seasons lmao. Yet it looks like they wanted to cut it short. It doesn't make sense to me.

CloverWorks focusing on other projects. Again, weird. For the same reasons on the previous point, I can't understand why they would do that.

Tbh I find it highly unlikely for the anime to change the manga in order to try and "fix" what the fans disliked because: 1) they're not changing anything, they're just rearranging scenes; 2) they mostly look to the Japanese audience, whose response was different than the Western: as far as I'm concerned, the last arcs had a favorable response in Japan.

I don't know pal. I really don't know. I'm just very sad because even if another anime adaptation comes out, it won't have the same ost (Isabella's lullaby) and va cast. I love Ray's va so much. I'm so depressed with what's happening.

#Feel free to add if something else comes to your mind #I'm tired #tpn #the promised neverland #tpn s2 #tpn salt #mine #people asks me stuff

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tamiettitami · 3 years

Text

for this month's recommendations, i decided to go with the theme KISSES GALORE in honour of valentine's day. all of the below works have been posted in the month of february 2021 and hand selected by me <3

Sowing Discord by @chronologicalimplosion

A group of hyper-religious, homophobic protesters on campus ruins David's post-lunch good mood and he sends a half-joking message to the LGBTQ+ Discord server about staging a counterprotest. Constant lurker Patrick comes running.

Rated T for TEEN & UP AUDIENCES; 4,089 words; M/M; TAGGED for Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Original Characters, Alternative Universe, Alternative Universe - College/University, Homophobia, First Kiss, Epistolary, kind of

"This work features the inclusion of messages sent in Discord channels, a social media app I've never seen interrogated into a fanfiction piece before. The perfect balance of humour as well as tenderness makes this the ideal read to round out the month of love."

falling into place like dominos by @davidbrewer

Alexis spins the bottle and Stevie doesn’t know if she wants it to stop in front of her, or if she’s hoping it points literally anywhere else. She thinks she’ll figure it out when it stops moving, but… even with the neck of the bottle unmistakably pointing at her foot, she still can’t identify what the feeling is. Is that happiness or dread settling in the pit of her stomach? Since when do those completely different things feel exactly the same? If she’s being honest, though, it feels like a combination of things. It’s that feeling you get right before you do something you know you might regret later… like throwing back a jello shot (which she wishes she had done), calling an ex at 3am, or maybe jumping out of a plane.

David and Patrick hold a second housewarming party, this time at their newly-renovated cottage. For old times' sake, they decide to play spin the bottle. Meanwhile, Stevie has been wrestling with her feelings for Alexis since she left for New York... and it never occurred to her that those feelings could flow both ways.

Rated M for MATURE AUDIENCES; 4,897 words; F/F; TAGGED for Stevie Budd & Alexis Rose, Stevie Budd/Alexis Rose, Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Post-Canon, Lesbian Stevie Budd, First (Real) Kiss, Alcohol, Spin the Bottle, Queer Themes, Sexuality Crisis, (Although it's more of a frustrated confusing than a crisis tbh)

"The author's ability to voice every character (but specifically Alexis) will never fail to astound me; their inner voice for Stevie is the most notable in this work, however. Even the friendship/sibling dynamics between David and Alexis and as well as Stevie and Patrick are absolute perfection. One of the best 'Housewarming' codas I've ever endulged in and I can confidently says so."

Until I Lose My Breath by @the-kellephant

How could she have missed the fact that she was in love with Twyla?

Rated T for TEEN & UP AUDIENCES; 814 words; F/F; TAGGED for Stevie Budd/Twyla Sands, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Femslash February, Bisexual Stevie Budd, Lesbian Twyla Sands

"A lovely introspective piece about sapphic feelings and how they can often be blindsided by denial if not provided with the proper care or attention."

You can Stand Under my Umbrella by @agoodpersonrose

David thought the day couldn't possibly get any worse. But then it started to rain.

43. You both reach for the last umbrella in the store on a rainy day.

Rated T for TEEN & UP AUDIENCES; 2,721 words; M/M; TAGGED for Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Alternative Universe - Canon Divergence, Tumblr Prompt, Meet-Cute, First Kiss, First Meetings, Awkward Flirting, Kissing in the Rain, Umbrellas, Fluff and Humour, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Prompt Fill, One Shot

"I have nothing to say besides this is hands down the most cute way this prompt could've been filled and I applaud Becca for her ability to write such tender moments in a way underlined with laughs."

Ten Tender Kisses by @cheesecurdsgravyandfries

Ten drabbles featuring ten tender kisses.

Rated G for GENERAL AUDIENCES; 1,110 words; M/M; TAGGED for Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Fluff, tender kisses, Canon Compliant

"Reading this was pure joy. The happiness I felt from the first drabble continued to grow the longer I scrolled which is truly a beautiful feeling. Their banter is so perfectly in character and the dynamic the author has created between David and Patrick is a skill I envy."

I Didn't Know it was a Crush, David by squigmistress

David and Patrick arrive home after The Premiere and David wants to talk more about some of the wild stuff Patrick said when he was high on pain meds. What he doesn't expect is Patrick's big, gay feelings. But damn, does he love him for it. OR Patrick needs emotional safety to process some feelings and, of course, David is more than happy to hold him through it.

Rated T for TEEN & UP AUDIENCES; 1,548 words; M/M; TAGGED for Patrick Brewer/David Rose, david rose - Relationship, Queer Themes, Coming Out, Episode: s06e05 The Premiere, Coda, Feelings, Feelings Realisation, Gay, Canon Gay Character, Family Issues, Intimacy, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Anger

"Now, I've always been a sucker for introspective works, but this took it to a brand new level. It's such a fine needle to thread; however, the author does an astounding job at cataloguing the growth/development of Patrick's emotions."

Be your remedy by @jessx2231

Patrick closes his eyes and brings to mind all the times David has put on music while Patrick is engrossed in a book or his phone or even the occasional weekend work task. Eventually, David will slink into his space, just enough to rest his head in Patrick’s lap. He doesn’t always do so with the intent to fall asleep, but it’s usually not long before Patrick’s fingers involuntarily find their way into David’s hair — much like they are now — and David’s breath will even out for a while.

He can definitely make an abridged version of that happen.

Or, David can't sleep and Patrick helps.

Rated G for GENERAL AUDIENCES; Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings; 2,048 words; M/M; TAGGED for Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Fluff, Established Relationship, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Married Life, very mild descriptions of depressive symptoms, but really just some very soft sleepy boys

"A warm hug is the best way I can describe this. Also, I already knew I need a Patrick Brewer in my life, but this solidified that."

the paths that your eyes wander down by @anniemurphys apart of falling in love at a coffee shop by them, @thankstwy, and @landofsonlali

Written for the prompt: "Twyla and Alexis reunite in NYC."

Alexis finds Twyla at a tiny corner table.

Rated G for GENERAL AUDIENCES; 568 words; F/F; TAGGED for Alexis Rose/Twyla Sands, Post-Canon

"The absolute perfect romantic comedy moment paired with some of the most in-character Alexis dialogue I've seen in awhile, not to mention how beautifully the mutual pining is broken."

a sense of expectation hanging in the air by Anonymous (i'll add the author once reveals are out for the Season 7 collection !)

Stevie starts to realize she has feelings for Ruth. How long though, will it take for her to tell Ruth that?

Rated M for MATURE AUDIENCES; 6,548 words; F/F; TAGGED for Stevie Budd/Ruth Clancy, Stevie Budd & Alexis Rose & Twyla Sands, Stevie Budd & David Rose, Stevie Budd & Patrick Brewer, Alexis Rose/Twyla Sands, Post-Canon, Getting Together, Sharing a Bed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Making Out, Fluff, Texting, Female Friendship, Episode: s07e08 RMG, Workplace Relationship

"The support from Stevie's friends—Alexis, Twyla, David, and Patrick—is so incredibly lovely. Despite the secret crushes, Stevie and Ruth refuse to let anything get in the way of them getting together and it's such a wonderful thing to see them immediately all-in the relationship."

got a fistful of four leaf clovers by iphigenias

Two weeks before Christmas Alexis calls David.

“So I think I like someone,” she says.

Rated T for TEEN & UP AUDIENCES; 1,754 words; F/F; TAGGED for Post-Canon, Getting Together, Femslash February, home is a place AND a person!

"Alexis's slow burn of building feelings for Twyla melts my heart. That being said, the realistic depiction of the difficulties that come with change provides a certain depth to this story it needs."

#schitt's creek #schitts creek #david rose #patrick brewer #stevie budd #twyla sands #alexis rose #david x patrick #david & patrick #stevie x alexis #stevie & alexis #twyla x alexis #twyla & alexis #twylexis #fic recommendations #fanficiton #*lolrecs #schitt's creek fic #february roundup

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almaasi · 4 years

Text

yoooooooooo, I’m in need of a beta (or betas) for my Garak/Bashir fics since all my usual proofreaders are busy.

summaries/warnings for 4 completed fics are listed under the cut. total word count is 111k+. all are rated ‘explicit’ except for one ‘mature’.

my previous fics are here if you want to know how I write.

preferably I’m looking for someone who can beta all of them, and more fics that come after this, but anyone who can do a one-off is cool too. I definitely want someone who’s good at suggesting things in the name of intersectional feminism and reader sensitivity! or just questioning things and commenting in general. catching typos or confusing sentences would be a huge bonus but that’s not my priority~

please share this with people you think might be interested!!!

fics listed longest first, not necessarily the ideal posting order. some of these have been lightly or partially beta’d already.

1. The Wolf Who Cried Doctor

Elim Garak/Julian Bashir, Julian Bashir & Ezri Dax

55k, Explicit

Garak is certain: any day now, Julian will discover that the most frequent visitor to DS9’s Infirmary has been going out of his way to fake, cause, and invite harm unto himself in order to gain his dear doctor’s attention. Garak cheerfully tells his lies with just enough variation to remain interesting, but remains afraid that one day Julian won’t believe him when there’s really something wrong.

But Julian is already aware there’s a problem. And the best treatment for an acute case of touch-starved loneliness, he believes, is to provide Garak with as much physical affection and emotional care as possible. It’s not like Julian couldn’t do with some company himself, given how his relationship with Ezri has been fraying.

But neither Julian nor Garak envisioned what could come of it all. Neither of them ever prepared for bliss.

(A post-canon fic where Garak comes back to DS9 and feelings happen.)

Tags: non-endgame pairing:, Julian Bashir/Ezri Dax, side pairings: Ezri Dax/Kira Nerys, Kira Nerys/Keiko O'Brien/Miles O'Brien, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending, Angst, Self-Harm, Depression, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, (Julian and Garak), Lovers to Friends, (Julian and Ezri), Sharing a Bed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Massage, Holding Hands, First Kiss, Touch-Starved Elim Garak, Lonely Elim Garak, Jealous Elim Garak, Garak is the quadrant’s most melodramatic drama queen, Lonely Julian Bashir, Bisexual Julian Bashir, Julian’s Foot Fetish, Ezri Ships It, Supportive Ezri Dax, Matchmaker Ezri Dax, Love Triangle, except it’s a tangle of lines, Polyamory, Communication is Hard but Vital, Replicator Malfunctions, Space Station Antics, First Time, Bottom Julian Bashir, Top Elim Garak

Warnings: Garak self-harms (nothing gory or graphic - just hot tea + gravity, improper handling of sewing tools, baiting others to use brute force, purposefully ingesting questionable foodstuffs; scars from past cutting) - but for most of the story he doesn’t think his actions are troublesome, merely viewing self-harm as a means to an end to acquire the physical comfort and emotional attention that he craves from Julian. (Disclaimer: I’m aware this is not the only reason real people might self-harm, but it’s Garak’s reason.)

Unspecific suicidal ideation (Julian tells Garak off and Garak’s like “welp! guess I’ll die now”). Both Garak and Julian are wildly depressed and lonely - and I swear that Ezri, the O’Briens, and I are trying our darnedest to rescue them, but they both have a tendency to spiral into a vortex of doom without talking to anyone about it, so it’s not the easiest thing to do. >:|

Foot fetish is mild but... y’know, present. (Oh, Julian.)

Regarding polyamory/love triangle tags (spoilers ahead!): Julian loves Ezri A LOT but doesn’t realise it’s in a platonic friendship way, and privately ties himself in knots over not being sexually or romantically attracted to her anymore (if he ever was to begin with). Much panicking about unintentional cheating happens, because he’s accidentally in love with Garak while dating Ezri - except (more spoilers) Ezri is trying to set him up with Garak anyway. Ezri is totally poly and way more chill than 99% of people would be in her position. Past Kira/Keiko/Miles.

Special note I mentioned to current betas: you should probably know that i feel some sort of divided way about how ezri is SO accepting of julian's disaster sexuality, because a) i've never once seen any character react like that, ever, in anything fictional or real (potentially bc of lack of bi and poly rep), and b) her reactions are based on how i would react in her place??? (note that i'm aro, ace, and bi, (well that's simplified) so if i was in a relationship with julian it would definitely be platonic but me being madly attracted to him despite that) so it's like... really personal but also i'm worried nobody would relate and would say i made her a pushover. so any pointers you have there would be lovely <3

2. Runabout Rollabout

Elim Garak/Julian Bashir

23.5k, Explicit

Julian Bashir, Elim Garak, Keiko O’Brien, Kasidy Yates, Kira Nerys, Ezri Dax (mentioned)

Eight months after the war ends, Julian invites Garak on a pollen-harvesting trip to Bajor. Distracted by the delight of seeing his friend after so long, Garak gets himself blasted with hormone-altering pollen, and is forced to ride out the repercussions on the runabout journey back to DS9. Symptoms include mood swings, unusual food cravings, and an urgent need for emotional assurance and physical contact. Julian is glad to offer relief, in whatever manner Garak requires. Even in the most intimate of ways...

Secretly, they both hope their brief affair in the runabout’s bottom bunk will lead to something more. But how could it, when duty forever trumps desire?

Tags: Post-Canon, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Porn With Plot, Mutual Pining, Sex Pollen, Mood Swings, Hormones, Cuddling & Snuggling, Public Display of Affection, Smut, Explicit Consent, First Kiss, Caring Julian Bashir, Hormonal Elim Garak, Horny Elim Garak, First Time, Anal Sex, Top Elim Garak, Bottom Julian Bashir, but they do switch briefly, Post-Canon Bajor, Post-Canon Cardassia, Illustrated

Notes: FYI, Julian and Ezri are no longer a couple. How that happened is discussed late in the fic, but Garak thinks they’re still dating when he and Julian sleep together for medical reasons. (Julian is NOT cheating, but Garak guiltily believes he is.)

This one’s probably an easy edit tbh. But I’m still questioning that ^ Garak-thinks-Julian-seeing-Ezri thing, so anyone who can tell me if it feels right, if I need to edit it, or if I should take it out, would be great.

3. Tail Over Heels

Elim Garak/Julian Bashir

Julian Bashir, Elim Garak, Amsha Bashir, Benjamin Sisko, Ezri Dax, Miles O’Brien, Kira Nerys, and everyone else

19.9k, Mature

Despite every attempt to deter her, Julian’s mother is coming to DS9. Here’s the problem: Julian told her he was married, and he’s not. Here’s the solution: Garak stands in as Julian’s husband. She’s meant to hate him. But Garak is just too damn likable - and a liiiittle too convincing in the role of Julian’s lover. Not only does his mother believe the lie, but so does everyone else on the station. Even Julian himself is starting to wonder...

Tags: Romance, Fluff, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Mistaken For A Couple, Moving In Together, Roommates, Sharing a Bed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Holding Hands, Eavesdropping, Bickering, Cardassian Flirting, First Kiss, First Time, Garak has a tail, Slightly Alternate Canon, set mid season 7, or an alternate post-canon where nobody leaves

Note: This one’s the oldest and closest to being publishable, and already illustrated and lightly beta’d, so this will likely post first, before the end of March 2020. But it definitely needs another going-over.

4. Code for Consent

Elim Garak/Julian Bashir

13k, Explicit

Julian Bashir, Elim Garak, Miles O’Brien, Keiko O’Brien

With Miles away, Julian needs someone else to play the evil villain in his secret agent holosuite program. Garak steps up. But tying Julian to a bedpost and fake-torturing him turns out to be an accidental turn-on for both of them. Julian doesn’t want to break character, so allows Garak to escalate his erotic domination towards the point of no return - yet Garak won’t go any further with their roleplay without clear consent. Now Julian has to figure out a way to show Garak he wants him without saying it outright. (But then again, maybe saying it matters.)

Tags: Smut, Romance, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Holodecks/Holosuites, Roleplay, Cardassian Flirting, Accidental Stimulation, Light Bondage, Choking, Light Knifeplay, Consensual Non-Consent, Rape Roleplay, (foreplay only) - soon followed by:, Explicit Consent, Holding Hands, Making Love, Schmoop, Top Elim Garak, Bottom Julian Bashir, set late season 6

Note: Nobody’s read this yet so idk how it comes across to other people, which worries me. Something about it doesn’t sit right with me but I can’t figure it out and need help with that :/

If you’re interested in helping, please submit me a tumblr message at https://almaasi.tumblr.com/submit with your name, pronouns, a statement of your interest and email address (gmail preferred) so I can add you to google docs if I pick you c:

(also maybe a timeframe of when you’d be able to beta. starting any time in the next couple of weeks is fine.)

(disclaimer to people with anxiety: I welcome anyone <3 if you want to say hi, PLEASE DO. I reserve the right not to pick you for any number of secret reasons, and I might not reply quickly, or at all, because I have chronic fatigue and messages are A Lot for me, but it doesn’t mean I don’t like you or you did something wrong!! promise.)

#ds9 #garashir #deep space nine #star trek: deep space nine #Elmie writes things #post of postiness #betaing #The Wolf Who Cried Doctor #Runabout Rollabout #Tail Over Heels #Code for Consent

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maxgrayarchived · 5 years

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20,000 Words Nano Update

I know, I’m way behind

ABOUT THE PROJECT

For whoever might not know, my nano project this year is a fanfic for the Sanders Sides fandom called Superkids.

When Virgil is granted the power to control shadows, he decides to use it to protect kids being abused like him. His dad and over enthusiastic boyfriend, Remus, have other ideas. As Virgil slowly finds himself becoming a supervillain and diving deeper into his own anger, Patton, Roman, and Logan make it their responsibilities to stop him.

Trigger warnings for abuse, violence, gaslighting, manipulation, misgendering, and mild transphobia from unsympathetic characters

WHAT’S BEEN HARD

The fight scenes. Definitely the fight scenes. I’ve never written a fight scene before, so... It’s really hard xD And they’re all coming out quite shit. But I’m seeing myself improving in all of them.

I’ve also just been struggling on motivation lately. Things have been hard at work and my sister and I have been struggling with money, and the depression of it is leaking into my writing. Not to mention, I totally forgot that seasonal depression was a thing, and I feel like this Winter is going to be really hard for me. So it’s been hard scrounging up energy and motivation to write.

The pov has been a struggle, too, specifically because of pronouns. Logan is nonbinary in this au and Virgil is a transguy who doesn’t pass very well. Logan is the only one who knows Virgil’s pronouns are he/him, so if it’s in anybody else’s pov, for now, I’ve been using she/her. This seems well and fine, except I head-hop a lot because it’s important, especially in fight scenes, to know what everyone is thinking and seeing and noticing. That makes pronouns really confusing.

I’ve decided to just shit all over the page and fix it later, tbh. My problem was that I never made a decision on how the pov would work, because I figured it would just come to me like it always does. A little bit of a mistake.

MY FAVOURITE PARTS

Just writing again, honestly. As daunting as it is... I’ve missed working on a big project. I’ve been enjoying short stories a lot lately but I wouldn’t be happy just doing that, I need to be writing novels. I’m so grateful I was able to finish my outline in time because I don’t remember the last time I finished an outline for a big project.

Writing Roman and Patton’s friendship has been really nice, too. They love each other so much and it’s just revealing to write, since on Virgil’s end, he’s dealing with so much hatred and anger. For the same reason, I love writing Roman’s mom, and Patton’s dad. They both love their kids so much and it’s such a nice contrast from Derek (Virgil’s dad).

Oh! And Logan and Roman’s banter. I’m doing an enemies to friends to lovers situation with them there, so it’s just so freaking exciting knowing where it goes.

Also, Roman and Patton as superheroes are honestly... So cute? Virgil and Logan are both pretty chill, Logan focuses on the mission and he has his costume, but it’s very simple and mostly about utility. Virgil is legit in jeans, a t shirt, a hoodie, and a mask he grabbed last minute. But Roman and Patton are so dedicated to the performance, it’s so much fun to write.

[Logan] crossed [their] arms over [their] chest. “What even are you?”

They both posed a little, Patton bringing her hands up in little paws and Roman puffing his chest out. “I’m Ditto!” He declared.

“And I’m… Catastrophe!”

[Logan] looked between them. “...Why?”

HOW I PLAN TO IMPROVE

As soon as I either get ahead or maybe even after nano, I’m going to go through every fight scene and plan out the maneuvers the same way I write all the dialogue first. I think it’ll make fight scenes a lot easier to write. My main problem is that I don’t really know where I’m going- I mean, I have a vague idea, but going from A to Z is really hard when you know nothing else. So I end up going round and round in circles until I finally get there.

I’m going to continue writing the dialogue for conversations before actually writing the scene. It seriously makes things so much easier and flow so much better, I’m a little mad at myself for being lazy about it before.

I’m going to stop focusing on word count so much. I did so well the first five or so days of nano because I was focusing on the actual scene I was writing, and I knew I wanted to stop after a certain scene was finished. Then I fell behind, and I started worrying. I’m going to focus on the scene, not the words.

I’ll be back at 30,000 or maybe 40,000 words. Thanks for reading!

Writing updates tag list:

@impossiblelibrary

#maxgraybooks #writeblr #nanowrimo #amwriting

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espship18 · 5 years

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Kpop ship for sowonkiblr

Hello everyone! I am back with a ship, and I have a ship for @sowonkiblr ! Are you ready? I’m ready~ let’s go!

Based off your request, I used these traits to help me ship you:

You’re quiet at first with some trust issues

You’re nice and polite

Can be hyper and a little 4D

You’re studying psychology and music therapy

A homebody but enjoys traveling and adventures

Would like to travel the world with your S/o

Enjoys reading, late night drives, astrology, and volunteering at animal shelters

You also have depression

Lastly, you love cuddles and skin ship

Then in your request, you asked to be shipped with Got7, KNK, NCT, and Pentagon! (this is my first ever KNK ship, I’m so ready!!)

Got7: Jaebum

So I think I found myself another match made in heaven! tbh I think all these ships are matches in heaven, but I know I use this term a lot, but you and Jae would be a wild and mild type of couple. You two are super aesthetic as well, but don’t worry, there is sweetness all around. You two have so many animals and plants btw, like, you got Jae’s cats and you’d adopt more animals together- it’s a zoo- but a great zoo. And I feel like you two would have some of your best memories at your shared apartment. Don’t get me wrong, you two would go out a lot, but you’re so much more comfortable at home, which there’s nothing wrong with that!. You two can be your true selves at home, and you can be goofy one hour, then logical the next hour- talk about dynamic. Jae would LOVE to sing to you, it’s so sweet. Whether it’s a love song or a song about the struggles of life, Jae enjoys singing to you. And sometimes you enjoy to play along with him, it’s good practice to you, and Jae would like to challenge you. You two also enjoy to have long ang logical talks- talking about the mind itself or about how life takes you through loops and turns. It’s Jaebum we’re talking about, the conversation can go so many different ways. You two are also super soft and sweet when you go out or you go exploring a part of town. You two are always having smiles on your face, and so much hand holding, I’ll touch more on that here in a bit. And this is a completely random thought, but the aesthetic fits it well- if I’m thinking of you and Jae, autumn would be the best season for you two. Ugh, I love. Moving right along, Jaebum would be such a good boyfriend. Jae is that type of boyfriend that is always being thoughtful in ways you could never imagine, and he would go far and beyond to make you happy. He’s the best at setting up dates tbh. Summer nights with a movie outside, like the cute little projection on the wall and blankets on the ground sort of date. Fairy lights and candles, with a picnic and wine. The movie would be one of your favorites, of course. He is also your personal cheerleader and is always there for you when the going gets tough. He loves to listen to you when you’re hurting and help you feel better. He also loves to hear about your clinicals for music therapy. And he also surprises you at work! Jaebum is big on skin ship- specifically for you. He love keeping you close, holding your hands or holding your waist, he just loves knowing you’re close around him. A lot of hand kisses to, those are his specialty!

KNK: Jihun

Okay here we go, the money maker, my first KNK ship, I’m so excited! Jihun is the sweet babe who brings you out of your shell. Jihun also gives you the world and more. Jihun’s world isn’t happy unless you’re happy. When it comes to going out, you and Jihun would go out more compared to Jaebum. You two have so much fun though! Jihun is really good at encouraging your to come out of your shell and be free. If you want to go on adventures, they’re on your call, or if you want to go to a specific restaurant or want date night a certain way, it’s on you. You two joke so much too! Whether it’s jokes or teasing each other, you two always joke around- keeps life lively. Something that I think would be cute, would be that you would be his little psychologist. This would actually be great for school btw. If Jihunie ever needs advice or needs some sort of help or assistance, you get to be there for him. Jihun is always coming to you, more like you two talk about it before you go to sleep lol. Then if you were to need some kind of experience or reference for a project or class discussion, you get to use Jihun as that reference! And sometimes, you could even help Jihun’s fellow members if they ever need the pick me up! More experience! And omg, this boy is an actual goof. Since you’re into astrology, Jihun would always want to come to you so you could tell him what to expect in the coming months. The goof part that comes in, is the surprise that you get when home. So, one night when you get home, there are blankets in the shape of a fort and he’d got a basketball set up in the middle to look like a ‘crystal ball’. Since you two are goofs, you easily follow along, and you have a makeshift astrology telling. Jihun also enjoys looking up to those little posts where it’s like ‘your sign would do this and this’ and he would send them to you. Moving right along, date night is an accommodation for being busy bodies. Jihun goes extra sweet and soft with date night, and date night is almost always at home(you time). Omg listen here. Karaoke night is a favorite, but you two are slow dancing to some songs by the end of the night! Ahh!!! Jihun also never misses the opportunity to tell you how much he loves you. He’s proud his heart out to you very easy, so like, be prepared to be told you’re loved, a LOT. *cough* pillow talk *cough* PDA and skin ship. We’re gonna go a little ham. You and Jihun would be very needy for each other and Jihun can get whiny if you are separated for a while. High quality pillows and blankets for perfect snuggle time. Jihun is also a bit possessive with public PDA. Back hugs and kisses and Jihun showing the height difference is his fav.

NCT: Ten

When I think of you and Ten, I think of a variety couple. I know that sounds weird, but hear me out. When I say that you two are a variety couple, I mean that you and Ten are very dynamic when it comes to your interests and personalities. You and Ten also love to try new things as a couple, and you love making memories along the way! You and Ten would be that best friend sort of couple. You two can be yourselves around each other, and you don't have to bend over backwards to make yourselves perfect for each other. You love each other for your flaws and your perfections. It’s super sweet! You two also like to be free spirits so having the best friend type of love works out the best! When it comes to your and Ten’s relationship, you two would do the most traveling. Your favorite thing to do is travel with Ten when he goes overseas. When he goes overseas, you two get to be in a whole new area, and you can move around and go to cute little tourist spots. And I think it would be super sweet if Ten would take you to Thailand whenever he would get the chance. When the time would be right, of course, Ten would take you to meet his family, I think that would be super sweet. I also think it would a cute and sweet precedent that you and Ten making music together. You are learning music, Ten makes music, it just works. Ten would also like to participate and help you in any way he can when it would come to your music therapy studies. Ten has first hand experience on how music can be therapy, so he loves to help you. Date nights are very spontaneous and not a lot of planning goes into it. You two like to wait til the last moment, it’s more fun that way. Some nights you go out, some nights you stay home, depends on your moods. But no matter what, the nights always end up with soft cuddles and hand holding- it’s soft. Then sometimes when you’re quieter than usual, normally on bad days, Ten takes extra care of you. He always wants to take care of you and help you feel special, and he’ll turn your frown upside down. He’ll be extra goofy to help you smile, don’t you worry about that. He also doesn't care to tell you how much he loves you. His main goal: he wants you to feel wanted. When it comes to PDA, Ten is such a king. He has special ways of holding you. He loves to have you in his lap, he’ll have one arm around your torso and one holding your legs up. He loves keeping you close and he loves to give you little pecks on your lips and he’ll give you a soft smile and an ‘I love you’. So sweet!

Pentagon: Shinwon

When it comes to this ship, I feel like you two would be an opposite attract sort of couple. No one would’ve seen you two coming, but Shinwon would snatch you up happily. You two would take your time with your relationship, you wouldn’t want to jump too fast, and you’d want to completely trust Shinwon if you were going to give him your heart. But you would finally trust Shinwon, things are smooth sailing. Shinwon would be so comfortable around you, it would shock you tbh. Of course, Shin would’ve known he wanted to be with you for a while, but of course our babe is patient. When you would be together, there would be a comfortable silence, and Shin would always be the first to make the first move. Like if you two would be sitting at home together, Shin would nudge you if he wanted to eat or even bring up a conversation. Moving right along, Shinwon would really like to take interest in the things you like. Now here me out here, you taking Shinwon to an animal shelter. Now, I know that Shin is afraid of animals, but you would convince him to go to the local animal shelter. Just this once, and if he didn’t like it, you wouldn’t force him to go back. And omg would it be hilarious. So Shin would be perfectly okay and fine, nothing wrong. Then when one of your co-workers would set a puppy on Shinwon’s lap, he would stiff up like a board! His facial expression would be priceless, and he’d try his best not to freak out, but you and your co-workers would do nothing but laugh. Then, you’d want to take it one time further. After making sure that Shin wouldn’t freak the f out, you’d set a kitten on Shin’s shoulder, like a little pirate. The little kitten would love Shin, and of course, Shin is slightly freaking out. The kitten would start licking Shinwon’s ear, and omg he’d have the best reaction! Your co-workers would be laughing so hard, they’d have to leave the room- it was so worth it! I also feel like you two would stay in more. Of course, I think you two would go out, but you’d like to stay home more bc it would be more comfortable for you. You would also get to show more of your hyper side to Shinwon when you’d be home alone. Autumn and winter days are the best because you love to snuggle up to him with a book. Then if you fall asleep on his shoulder, omg it’s so sweet! PDA wise, I feel like one of you is always clingy for affection, so you two are always snuggling. Shin would love to hug you and keep you close, he also can get a little too clingy, and he’ll hold you and not let you go. You don't entirely mind though. hehe.

~STA

#sowonkiblr x idol ship #kpop #kpop writing #kpop ships #shipping blog #kpop reactions #got7 #knk #NCT #pentagon #got7 ships #knk ships #nct ships #pentagon ships #jaebum #jihun #ten #shinwon

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inazumafocus · 5 years

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Tagged by the sweet sweet @shawn-and-aiden-frost-9 thank you dear❤️

Nickname: Nene! I’m Nene everywhere, even in real life, because my brother started calling me that when he was little and it’s usually the nick for the name Irene

Height: *deep sigh* 1.56cm yeah I am 22 and very smol, yeah, they usually think I’m 14 and I know I should be happy but IM NOT WHEN I WANT TO WATCH UNDERAGE MOVIES AND THE ASK IF I’M ABOVE 14!!

Time: 01:20

Favourite song/band: gosh mmhh well one song that is forever in my fave list is “Amsterdam” by Imagine Dragons and rn I love the Måneskin, go check them out they’re italian but sing in english too and DAMN THEY’RE GOOD! But my fave artist EVER is Adam Lambert❤️

Song stuck in my head: “Royal Doulton Music Hall” from Mary Poppins Returns. That movie was sssso good and the songs were amazing and so damn catchy yo! Plus “Zero” by Imagine Dragons from the new Wreck It Ralph movie!

Last movie I watched: well when I started this test it was SPIDERMAN INTO THE SPIDERVERSE! (GO. WATCH IT. NOW. A masterpiece of animation, a diverse cast, a really good plot and awesome characters! Gogogo) but rn is the new Wreck It Ralph which is also super amazing with a RAD DESIGN AND REALLY DELICATE THEMES TREATED FUCKING WELL CHECK THAT OUT TOO MAN!

Last thing I googled: “blue screen of death 85” because I needed THAT as a reaction gif LMAO

Other blogs: ugh I have so many but I’m gonna tag my ask blogs @asktheb4andafuro @askinazumastuckanddigizuma and my aesthetic one @extranaestheticinjection (pls go check that one out if you want/have time🙏🏻💕)

Do I get asks: mmmhh yeah I have some affectionate but only when I do an “ask thingy” I don’t really get asks outside of it and it’s a bit of a bummer because I LOVE to talk!

Why did I choose this url: because, as I mentioned before, I love to talk and I wanted a blog to do that but everything would’ve been about Inazuma. Therefore Inazuma (theme) + focus (as in “a focus only on Inazuma). Plus a funny thing: my bro runs a secondary blog about a video game and its called @fablefocus so I just went and said “yo what if I made a focus blog just like you!” But I’m not serious like her, I love to create memes and shitposts and those are a focus on Inazuma as well ahahaha

Following: ...58. Look I’m kinda picky but I love everyone really

Dream trips: Japan, Oregon (and other places in America as well) and Cornwall but I really just want to travel ALLLL over the world, it’s my big dream

Favourite food: everything that has fish in it. Gods do I love fish mmmm- plus donuts!!

Instruments: uuhh kinda did piano when I was a kid but never stuck to it 🤷🏻‍♀️ so none

Hair colour: original was a dark blonde(?) but I dye it black bc I love it

Languages: italian and english!

Most iconic songs: mh for me? This is kinda dumb but the one song that really always makes me sing and dance is the Digimon Adventure Opening, the italian one ahahah, it will forever be part of me since it’s mu childhood

Random fact: I tend to get more depressed during winter, that’s why I don’t fancy those cold cold months...

Zodiac: Virgo (but I have so few things in common with my Sun ugh, I feel much more alike to my Moon in Scorpio)

Nationality: Iiiitaaaaliiiaaaannnnn, from Rome to be even more specific~

Favourite fruit: apricot and melon, gotta love those sweet summer delights

Seasons: SUMMER FOR THE REASON UNDER “random fact” also then I can wear shorts and CROP TOPS ARE MY L I F E plus vacation and the sea and summer nights and HHHHHH I LOVE

Scent: rain, any body of water, the air before and after the rain, delicate vanilla, delicate cinnamon, books (they really have to be mild scents or my nose will die! I can’t even pass by the detergents’ sector at the supermarket or entering a Home Decore shop and Lush is just an agony when I need a bathbomb ;u;)

Colour: black, purple, used blue jeans(?), ALL THE PASTELS, ALL OF ‘EM, but also neon lime and neon fucsia bc I’m a walking paradox

Animal: uuhm dogs and really all the animals? But not insects. Never the bugs. Only bumble bees are cute.

Coffee, tea or hot cocoa: ehm none- I don’t really drink many stuff, just water, coke and some fruit juice heh

Average hours of sleep: ...five at best? Six at times, eight/ten only on vacations- listen I have a fucked up sleep schedule

Favourite fictional characters: AAAAAAAAAAAA SO MANY!! Kidou Yuuto, Fudou Akio, Kaemaru Ichirouta and Afuro Terumi from Inazuma Eleven; Agon, Rui, Jumonji and Hiruma from Eyeshield21; Nabiki Tendo from Ranma 1/2; Nico di Angelo and Reina from Percy Jackson; Monoma Neito and Iida Tenya from BNHA; Yamato, Sora, Taichi and Ken from Digimon AAAAA LETS STOP I LOVE AND ADOPT TOO MANY KIDS I DONT WANT TO CHOOSE

Year in which this blog was created: few months ago tbh, 2018 :’)

Hogwarts house: Slytherin, the real kind not the stereotype thank you very much. I’m kind and friendly but sneaky as well and I’d kill for my friends FUCK STEREOTYPES

Favourite artists: uuhhhh too many tbh, just gonna tag some I’m friends with hejdkdkwlsk bc I don’t wanna annoy anybody @reaversgloriousmanbutt-art @ygreczed @zibiremu-ert @xxlovelyrose95xxartbook PLUS I LOVE VAN GOGH AND BOLDINI

aaand taaggiiing @reaversgloriousmanbutt @zibiremu @miyabinopenguin @midorikawawas @funips @des-det-fo if yall want ofc <3

#nene tag game #inazuma eleven #personal

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monsieur-de-paris · 5 years

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REALLY LONG CHARACTER SURVEY. RULES. repost , don’t reblog ! good luck !

TAGGED. @kigakurutta thanks ^-^ TAGGING. @bourreau-de-roi @princely-alucard @thesarcasticviclet @devilsmark @xxsacrificiumxx @farnese-ojousama

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Charles-Henri Sanson de Longval

NICKNAME: Charles or Charlot (lolol)

AGE: Verse-dependent, between 14 and 54

BIRTHDAY: February 15th

ETHNIC GROUP: White

NATIONALITY: French

LANGUAGE(S): French, a word or two in English and German

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Bisexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Biromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Verse-dependent, gets married at the age of 27

CLASS: As in social class - 3rd estate (commoner)

HOMETOWN / AREA: Paris

CURRENT HOME: Paris

PROFESSION: Executioner & doctor

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Black, very long, straight or later wavy, thick, silky

EYES: Doe-eyed, gray/black of colour

NOSE: Straight, long, narrow

FACE: Diamond-shaped and long, not so defined cheekbones

LIPS: Plump and soft, red

COMPLEXION: Pale

BLEMISHES: None

SCARS: None

TATTOOS: None

HEIGHT: 195 cm ( 6'5'' )

WEIGHT: unknown

BUILD: Tall and skinny, well-trained

FEATURES: Soft enough to be able to dress like a lady and not attract attention

ALLERGIES: None

USUAL HAIRSTYLE: The parting changes over time (it’s either parted on the right side or combed back), but always open

USUAL FACE LOOK: Distressed lmao

USUAL CLOTHING: 18th century clothes

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR(S): People’s cruelty, having to execute the ones he cares for, generally having to kill people, he hates his occupation a lot ;O;

ASPIRATION(S) : To abolish executions, later: to make executions more humane

POSITIVE TRAITS: Kind, polite, open-minded, accepting, loving, caring, a strong sense of responsibility

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Naive, anxious, unassertive, easily led, manipulable

ZODIAC: Aquarius

TEMPERAMENT: Emotionally volatile, cries a lot

SOUL TYPE(S): Helper

ANIMALS: Dogs, horses

VICE HABIT(S): None (crying?)

FAITH: He is religious, yes

GHOSTS?: I bet he believes in them

AFTERLIFE?: Yes

REINCARNATION?: No

ALIENS?: No

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: Lawful Good

ECONOMIC PREFERENCE: No idea (what is economic preference?)

SOCIOPOLITICAL POSITION: He supports His Majesty wholeheartedly

EDUCATION LEVEL: Mostly home-schooled, very good medical skills

FAMILY.

FATHER: Charles-Jean-Baptiste Sanson

MOTHER: Madeleine Sanson

SIBLINGS: (Oh gosh, here we go with the list) Marie-Joseph Sanson, Louis-Charles-Martin Sanson, Nicholas-Charles-Gabriel Sanson, Louis-Cyr-Charlemagne Sanson, Madeleine-Claude-Gabrielle Sanson, there was later a baby too, called Pierre-Shanks Sanson, but I think it vanished (?)

EXTENDED FAMILY: His grandmother Anne-Marthe Sanson, his stepmother Jeanne-Gabrielle Sanson, his wife Marie-Anne Sanson, his two sons Henri Sanson and Gabriel Sanson, his uncle Nicholas-Gabriel Sanson, his cousin AND brother-in-law Jean-Louis Sanson, like 500+ other cousins, I think the Sanson family is rather large (and I need a drink after listing so many)

NAME MEANING(S): Apparently,Charles means “man” and Henri means “home ruler” lmao

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: He was actually the royal executioner of France? He is based on a real person

FAVORITES.

BOOK: The bible prolly, also the memoirs of the first Sanson. He used to be very interested in science and philosophy, but I think his occupation sorta sucked the life, and the hunger for knowledge, out of him

MOVIE: None

5 SONGS: He enjoys Bach

DEITY: The Christian God

HOLIDAY: Christmas and Easter, like the good boy he is

MONTH: April

SEASON: Spring

PLACE: Anywhere he can be left alone by his grandmother and father (lmao), I think generally among nature

WEATHER: Sunny

SOUND: His violin <3

SCENT(S): Roses

TASTE(S): Wine, fruit, mild tastes

FEEL(S): Satin on the skin, but also pain

ANIMAL(S): I already answered this

NUMBER: 3

COLORS: Black, red, blue

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Riding, very good with a blade, very good medical skills, I guess singing too since he does it a lot

BAD AT: Killing, asserting his will

TURN ONS: Pain (he won’t admit though, but because of the torture he had to undergo, his body got accustomed to pain a lot)

TURN OFFS: Irrationality, cruelty, chaos

HOBBIES: Playing his violin

TROPES: Fragile Flower xD

AESTHETIC TAGS: Roses, Skulls, Black Hair, Edgy, Goth, Death, BDSM, Emo Quotes, Sad, Depressing, Velvet, Thorns, Blood

GPOY QUOTES: I can’t think of any rn

FC INFO.

MAIN FC(S): None, unfortunately

ALT FC(S): None

OLDER FC(S): None

YOUNGER FC(S): None

VOICE CLAIM(S): None

GENDERBENT FC(S): None

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1: if you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?: I wouldn’t. I can’t picture Innocent as a movie, I can’t even picture it as an anime, because its beauty and style would just get lost, I feel.

Q2: what would their soundtrack / score sound like?: Something sad and gloomy

Q3: why did you start writing this character?: Well, I really love him ;_; I loved him from the moment I picked Innocent, but his development was nothing I expected - it actually made sense, unlike with many other characters, whose developments only make sense in a fictional, trope-driven setting. But Charles-Henri “matured” in a way a real person would, and even his character traits, which I would possibly hate on every other character aside from him, like his kindness and his gullibility, were somehow lovable to me, because they felt real and genuine, and not like the traits you give a character only to make them likeable. And then a good friend of mine picked him as a muse, we wrote together for sometime, and he just stole my heart completely.

Q4: what first attracted you to this character?: His hair. Also his face, I had seen pictures of him before and I always thought his face looked very unique, because I’ve never seen anyone with a similar drawing style.

Q5: describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse: I dislike, that he changed so much, even if it made sense. I just miss the old Charles a lot ;_;

Q6: what do you have in common with your muse?: I think I have a lot in common with him...except for his kindness and his patience with people. I do share many of his negative traits though, I also act on impulse a lot.

Q7: how does your muse feel about you?: He is angry, because I contribute to his torment lolol

Q8: what characters does your muse have interesting interactions with?: All his interactions are interesting, those which aren’t usually get dropped :o

Q9: what gives you inspiration to write your muse?: Books. Oh, and my love for him and for writing in general, I don’t think I could just stop writing. And also, he is very easy for interactions. He is very timid and not the most extroverted person in the world, but he would give everyone a chance, so having him meet other characters and actually show interest in them isn’t difficult (*cough* unlike Griffith *cough*)

Q10: how long did this take you to complete?: Tbh, I think ca. 2-3 hours.

#☙ ⁽ 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 ⁾ ❧ : 𝑇𝑎𝑔 𝑀𝑒𝑚𝑒

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nastynibblesreturns · 5 years

Text

Themes in recent RWBY Volumes

Yeah yeah, boring title, whatever. I have thoughts and feelings about this show and by god I am sharing them even if Monty Oum himself smites me from the heavens. I’m not an analyst, this won’t be succinct or neat, it will literally be me throwing up my thoughts like yesterday’s stew and hoping it all makes it into the toilet.

TL;DR the relics choose the theme for the upcoming volumes and also really like to screw over the protagonists because why tf not.

So I was thinking about how the general tone of RWBY has shifted so much since that first episode, and sure, it could be put down to growth and stuff, and that definitely explains parts of it, but there was such an abject shift that I can’t help but feel like there’s more to it than that?

If we work in reverse order. In the volume 5 finale, Mistral’s school was breached and the spring maiden and subsequent relic (Of Knowledge) was found. That bracketed bit is important. Because volume 6 has, to date, been heavily focused on knowledge. The sharing of it, the lack of it, the consequences for knowing and not knowing certain details...

Ozpin, who had been idolised before, lost so much of his trust that his allies are more inclined to listen to a mild-mannered farmer boy than him. This is due to an unwillingness to share knowledge.

Blake and Yang struggled a lot in the beginning of the volume, because they were not communicating. Neither knew what the other was thinking, and while they obviously cared for each other, they kept saying and doing the wrong things as a result of that miscommunication. Thankfully, that seems to be solved as of now (at last. This was one of my earliest ships and I never thought for a minute that it would become canon but hell I’ve sure been shown) and they are finally in sync as a result of trying to respect and understand the other. Take that, Taurus.

Weiss still hasn’t told the others about her family situation (neither the abuse nor the whole “you are no longer the heiress” thing) or why she was so unwilling to return. I can’t help but feel that this will come back to bite her in the butt next volume.

The only character that seems to have been pretty open about everything is Maria Calavera (who, can I just say, I love dearly), and she seems to be living a pretty good life now that she is no longer hiding her eyes or identity. Good on her.

Now. working further back to the finale of season 3 and the dramatic shift in tone that brought.

The focus of that finale was on the “Fall Maiden” and her relic, the relic of choice. I can’t help but note, prior to that season, with the exception of ruby, every character who mentioned why they were doing something phrased it like they had no choice. Weiss “there was no question of where my life would lead” Schnee. Blake “I have to do what’s right” Belladonna. Even Yang explained her happy-go-lucky lifestyle as “it seemed the logical choice”. Pyrrha kept bringing up fate and destiny, and only shortly before her death did she expand that perhaps destiny was just an end goal you work towards and you make the choices.

After that, for the next two volumes, the tone shifted. It became darker and the consequences more pronounced. Suddenly it wasn’t a “oh, everyone has plot armour and no one will get seriously punished for mistakes” kind of show. We learnt about the two gods and their gift to humanity was the gift of choosing between the two paths.

Ruby chose to use her freedom and partner up with JN_R and headed off to Mistral. Yang chose to stay behind in her PTSD-induced depressive slump (don’t blame her, tbh), until she managed to pull herself out of it and chose to actively reinvolve herself in the fight. She also chose between her mother and her sibling, answers and trust, old bonds and new. Blake chose to run to protect those she loved, and then chose to retake the white fang and remodel it in the fashion of the old faunus rights movement. Weiss didn’t choose to be taken back to atlas, but she did choose to escape and go back to being a huntress.

So basically what I’m trying and failing to say here is that every time a [maiden/place where a relic is hiding] is found, the subsequent volumes seem to tie in and deal with that theme! Which makes me thing the next three volumes will be dealing with... I’m gonna say Creation, as they’re going to Atlas where the winter relic is kept. And then I think the last volumes are going to deal heavily with Destruction, and that will be where everything comes to a head and will probably bring the pain back with it.

Thanks for reading my rambling, guys! If you did. I wouldn’t blame you if you skipped this giant wall of text.

#rwby #bumbleby #oh my god I can't believe this volume happened

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deathbyhysteria · 6 years

Text

57 facts tag !!

i was tagged by @serensims - thank you for tagging me even though i took so long because it gave me a migraine lol

i tag @gemgeminox @maplestreetsims @justkeeponsimming @all-harlows-eve @daisydezem and anyone else who wants to have a go.

facts are under the cut!

1. i just turned 21 years old

2. i am studying law in london

3. when i finish i may go and do a postgrad somewhere abroad! we’ll see

4. i have literally no hobbies now

5. when i was younger i used to do ballet, viola, piano, guitar, yoga, drama, dance, singing and ballroom dancing - not all at the same time (i.e. i was much more well rounded than i am now)

6. i have one younger sister

7. i always wanted to have an older sibling, especially an older brother

8. i used to be a big reader but i stopped. but over the summer i’ve been reading more again, especially crime books by Harlan Coben

9. some shows i’ve been watching a lot of over the summer: bojack horseman, 3%, the flash

10. s5 of bojack horseman actually came out on my birthday and i tried to rewatch all 4 seasons before then but i failed. however i just started the new season today!

11. i was admitted to hospital twice over the summer, once while i was abroad i’m holiday which SUCKED

12. i love travelling and some of the places i’ve been to are: italy, cyprus, various places in the usa, jamaica, mexico, nigeria, greece, spain, switzerland.

13. my dream destination is japan... i would love to visit so badly

14. speaking of japan, my favourite cuisine is actually japanese food, and i also really enjoy chinese and what little i have tried of vietnamese food too

15. i have only one (two?) piercings and that’s my ear lobes. but i would love to get a second set of piercing on my lobes and i’m hoping to do it in the near future

16. i’d love to get a tattoo one day but i’m not sure what i’d get and also i don’t like pain

17. i’m in and out of hospital kinda frequently because of a medical condition i have (without going into specifics, you could say i’m a little like a spoonie)

18. the only surgery i’ve had was when i was about 6 years old and i had my tonsils removed

19. i really like makeup and i can get quite creative with it, but i don’t tend to wear anything outside of mascara, my go to lipstick (which is touch by mac) and possibly eyeliner on a daily basis

20. i’m 5ft 7in (and a half)

21. i know basic french and a little more than basic spanish, and i’m a native english speaker

22. this year i’m learning yoruba, and i’m also hoping to pick up some basic german too

23. i rarely cry at movies but the only ones which did manage to make me cry were: titanic (i’m sure i was too young to be watching it at the time), princess and the pea, boy in the striped pyjamas... oh and avengers: infinity war which made me bawl like my puppy had died

24. i’m a really big fan of the mcu and i always go to watch the new releases in the cinema with my sister and my dad

25. i’ve never see the incredible hulk so idk maybe that makes me a fake fan

26. i had to wear braces for 6-7 years? but afterwards i stopped wearing my retainers so some of the gaps opened up in my teeth again 🤷‍♀️ what can you do

27. i love music and i always try to give every genre a go... the only one i can’t deal with is country music

28. my favourite thing is getting to see live music and i’ve gotten to see: one direction (my first concert!), 5 seconds of summer, little mix, twenty one pilots, hey violet and most recently taylor swift

29. i’m still taking driving lessons over a year after i first started but my driving test is booked for next friday so idk maybe i’ll have an official license soon if i don’t flop

30. i had 4 really close friends in high school but after that we kinda grew apart and i got pretty lonely and pretty bad (read: ridiculously awful) at making friends

31. i did struggle with depression and mild anxiety in the past

32. if you have mental health issues - please try and talk to someone about it. keep trying until you find someone you can trust. it took me a long time to admit i needed help and even longer to find someone i felt comfortable confiding in, but it was the best thing i ever did.

33. i did really really well in my gcse’s but since then i’ve just gotten dumber i guess because all my grades have been nothing short of average, sometimes even significantly below average

34. tumblr is basically the only social media i use now. i stopped using facebook, twitter and instagram, and i only keep the snapchat app around so i can take cute selfies, but i don’t ever post

35. it’s 2am as i type this and i’m running out of things to say

36. i used to get really painful periods, to the point where i was basically bedridden and the pain was enough to make me physically throw up. luckily they aren’t as bad anymore

37. i love the summer and i really need that vitamin d in my life

38. i really love winter clothes and big loose comfy sweaters are literally my favourite thing

39. i drink a lot of tea, especially green tea with lots of honey

40. i’m mildly lactose intolerant and yesterday i drank a chocolate milk which had some adverse effects... it wasn’t worth it tbh it tasted kinda nasty

41. i used to really love bratz and i watched all the movies and even bought some of their albums

42. i can’t really walk in heels but i’m trying... platform heels are not so bad but then i get people telling me i’m tall already so i don’t need to wear heels (as if i don’t just wear them because i like them)

43. i love lush bath bombs and i always have a few hanging around my bathroom

44. my dress size is like a 10 but sometimes i have to go up a size because of my big bust, which i hate

45. i actually really enjoy playing the papa’s pizzeria franchise online and they’re like my go to games when i’m really bored

46. speaking of games i also really love phoenix wright, i’m playing the trilogy on the app now as i had only played ace attorney before

47. i love getting manicures and idk why but i always tend to paint my nails dark blue... there’s this shade this one shade and no matter which nail bar you send me to, if they have it i’ll always pick it out without even realising it

48. i play sims on my macbook air which probably isn’t a great pc for gaming bc it always makes the fan go absolutely crazy, although my game never lags even back when i used alpha cc

49. i played the og sims but i never played sims 2 or 3 and i also never bought any expansion packs even though i was desperate to

50. i wear a lot of black, not intentionally but probably because it’s just a safe colour that you can’t go wrong with

51. i actually really enjoy getting socks as a gift but no one buys me them because i think it’s a universally accepted fact that socks are a rubbish gift

52. i don’t own any trousers that aren’t jeans and i think that’s probably a little odd but i’m not sure

53. i don’t have a great track record of keeping my mobile safe and i’ve ruined a lot of good phones by cracking the screen, dropping them in the toilet, dropping them into my cereal, or just plain losing them

54. speaking of which i currently have an iphone 6s in rose gold and i love it and don’t care all that much to upgrade it. but it only has 16gb of space and i’m desperate for more

55. i also really enjoy getting new pyjamas. and my favourite pyjamas are the ones that aren’t pyjamas at all i.e. just give me a t-shirt in size xxxl and i’m good to go

56. i wear glasses because i have a lazy eye and i’m also long sighted (which is an absolute recipe for disaster when you’re trying to apply eyeliner, let me tell you)

57. i’m genuinely surprised that i managed to list 57 facts about me!

#tags #57 facts tag #non sims

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lickstynine · 6 years

Note

I know it’s a lot, but could you do all the whump questions for Wren and Kit?

well this took about a thousand years. you better like it, you big nerd

~Physical~

1. Do they have any sort of physical condition or mark that impacts their daily life? (chronic disease, deep scar, disability)Kit has CVID, so he’s pretty perpetually sickly. He also has untreated depression that’s part of the cause of his awful drinking habits.Wren has anxiety, asthma, and IBS-D, all of which pretty well hinder his attempts to keep up with and interact with his peers. He can’t really run around and play, and he gets scared super easily, which just makes his IBS worse.

2. What is their pain tolerance? Do they close their eyes and block it out, or go into a full blown panic?Kit can tolerate a fair amount. For the most part, he’s very used to tattoo/piercing pain, but long sessions of linework can overwhelm him. Pain from illness, however, like sore throat/stomachache/headache tends to hurt more and make him more irritable.Wren doesn’t have the best pain tolerance. Pain tends to make him nervous, cause chest pain = asthma attack, and stomach pain = IBS attack. Which (ironically) both often lead to panic attacks.

3. How long do they typically take to recover from illness or injury compared to average?They’re both quite frail and sickly, but Kit especially takes ages to recover.

4. What are the most telltale signs that they’re sick or injured?Kit gets extra bitchy. Like more genuinely mean instead of lighthearted mocking.Wren will be more fussy and sensitive than usual. If he’s around family, he’ll let them know he’s feeling bad, but if he’s at school, he’ll try to tough it out rather than draw attention to himself.

5. What is their response to their friends or loved ones in pain?Depending on the severity, Kit will either tease them, or try (and usually fail) to be helpful.Wren will offer help and comfort as best he can.

~Emotional~

6. How easily do they cry? Is it different alone vs in public?Kit cries more easily than he’d care to admit, but it’d take something serious for him to sob in public. Normally he tries to keep himself together until he can go home and bawl into a bottle of whiskey.Wren is very sensitive, but will do his best not to cry in public. He’ll run off to somewhere like a bathroom or an empty hallway and then just sob. If he’s at home, he’ll seek out Jace or his mom for comfort.

7. Is there any emotion they find difficult to control (anger, sorrow, anxiety)?Kit struggles a lot to keep a handle on his depression. He also still has trouble with the grief from losing his mom.Wren has major issues with his anxiety.

8. Is there a place, name, object, etc. that holds painful memories for them?For Kit, it’s anything to do with his mother, her name, her picture, her old belongings. He also has issues with funerals/cemeteries, because hers was the first funeral he ever attended.Wren is completely terrified of school. He’s had issues with bullying his whole life, and just being surrounded by tons of people and academic pressure all day is awful for him.

9. In a dire situation, are they fight, flight or freeze?Kit would try to fight, but he’s so weak, it really wouldn’t do much. He usually tries to talk his way out of things before they escalate to a physical confrontation.Wren just flees. Or he tries to anyway. He can’t like run super far, cause asthma, but he definitely tries to just gtfo if he sees signs of danger.

10. How stable do they consider themselves? How stable are they really?Kit is a weird one. Most of the time, he considers himself to be pretty decent, but on low days, he’s all too aware of just how much he doesn’t have his shit together. He’s horribly unstable.Wren has, at best, a very tenuous and fragile stability. A gentle sneeze could throw it off. He’s aware that he’s pretty unstable.

~Social~

11. Within their group, where do they fall during emergencies? The leader, the support, the cause of the emergency, etc.?Kit is usually the cause of the emergency. He’s a mess. He does have the finances to help deal with said emergencies, though, which is nice.Wren just tries to help, but isn’t very useful.

12. Do they have someone they trust during their own time of need, or do they prefer to handle it alone?Kit will clam up initially, but if prodded, he’ll accept help. And he definitely needs it.Wren needs so much help. He’ll run right to Jace or Serafina with a problem.

13. Is there a character who often finds themselves worried about your OC?Alistair is always worrying about Kit, though I can’t say I blame him.Jace and Serafina both worry about Wren a lot.

14. What kind of image would they like to portray to their group? How does the group really see them, good and bad?Kit tries to be the suave intellectual. Julius totally sees him that way. Alistair does think he’s smart, but he also knows that Kit is way less chill than he lets on. His less-close friends fall for the ruse completely.Wren doesn’t really have a ‘group,’ the only people he voluntarily interacts with are family, and they know him inside and out.

15. Is there an antagonist or someone who would like to see/make your OC suffer?Violet is still a bit of an issue for Kit, cause they have a lot of the same upper-class acquaintances, who she’s been talking shit about him to. His real problem, though, is his father, who is an actual physical threat with way less decency and restraint than Violet.Wren has lots of issues with people at school. His schoolmates fall into two categories - those that ignore him, and those that actively bully him.

~Spiritual~

16. Do they have any regrets in their life?Kit regrets most of his existence tbh. He feels like he should’ve done something to protect his mother (even though she (probably) died of natural causes, and he was too young to have helped either way. He feels like an idiot and a failure academically because he just kinda gave up on school when he started having memories issues. He thinks he’s too dependent on his father (he definitely is), and should’ve tried to move out and get used to being a functioning adult (he should’ve), but is in no state to do it now. Wren doesn’t really regret much, save for the occasional ill-advised snack that fucks up his tummy. Most of his problems are outside his control, so he’s just kinda trying to cope with them.

17. What is something they dislike about either themselves or the world?Kit hates how spoiled and dependant he is.Wren wishes he weren’t so nervous and awkward.

18. Is there a situation that might make it impossible for them to relax?Kit is always on full alert when his father’s around. He has trouble sleeping sometimes when he knows Reggie is home.Wren cannot handle being out in public. Crowds and strangers freak him out.

19. Are they honest to themselves, or do they ignore feeling hurt or sad?Kit tries to drown all his bad feelings in liquor.Wren is aware of his bad feelings, but doesn’t know how to deal with them.

20. Do they like to be alone with themselves often or surrounded by friends?Kit likes to have people around. Being by himself for too long tends to send him into a depressive spiral.Wren is very introverted, and prefers to spend most of his free time alone.

~Environmental~

21. Does the weather in your setting ever affect their health?Kit is very sensitive to temperature, both heat and cold, so pretty much any weather that isn’t a mild, cloudy day is unpleasant for him.Wren sometimes overheats, because southern California is hot as balls. He also sunburns really easily. He likes gardening in theory, but can’t handle the weather enough to actually get into it.

22. Is their community unsafe for them in any way (violence, pollution, etc.)?Kit’s community is rather toxic socially, what with all the snobbery and shit.Wren’s school community is just awful to him, but he lives in a nice community with nice people.

23. How do they feel about hospital environments?Kit is pretty used to them by now, cause he’s perpetually sickly. He still doesn’t enjoy it.Wren is very nervous around doctors and hospitals.

24. In what season do they typically get sick?Kit gets sick constantly, no matter the season.Wren is worst in the fall and winter, but spring and the pollen fucks with his asthma.

25. How easily do they catch any bug going around?Kit will catch every one. He’d get them twice if it was possible.Wren is fairly sickly too, but not as bad as Kit.

~Occupational~

26. Are there any risks for illness or injury specific to their job?Kit doesn’t work, so no.Wren doesn’t have a job, but he goes to school, and there’s obviously lots of awful kid germs there, as well as violent bullies.

27. Have they overworked themselves into sickness or collapse before?Kit does occasionally. He’s sick so often that he’ll try to brush it off it it’s not serious, but then they’ll get worse cause he’s not taking care of himself.Wren is pretty good about just staying home if he doesn’t feel well in the morning, but if symptoms come on during the day, he’ll try to power through and that never goes well.

28. How sympathetic is their boss when they have to take a day off? Is this a source of comfort or stress for them?Neither of them have a boss, but Wren’s teachers tend to be understanding, since he has a doctor’s note explaining that he’s a sickly fucker.

29. When they do come into work sick, do they strive to remain professional or let everyone know how miserable they are?Kit is a complainer.Wren stays quiet, he doesn’t want the attention.

30. Who do they go to with their problems at work, if anyone?Kit

~Intellectual~

31. What’s one skill or aspect of themselves that they feel self-conscious of?Kit is really displeased with his failing memory. It especially upsets him when he forgets important things like Alistair’s birthday, or what his mother sounded like.

32. Do they push themselves too hard/give up when minor things get difficult? Kit tends to just avoid things he’s not good at. He’s a giver-upper / problem dodger.Wren will try his best no matter what.

33. Have they worried before about never meeting anyone’s expectations, or always having to meet them?Kit has been told he’s inadequate since like the day he popped out of the womb looking frail and feminine. He tries to ignore his father’s expectations, but he’s lowkey pretty insecure.Wren wishes he could fit into the social standards his peers hold him to. (not that their opinions actually matter worth shit)

34. Do they have an interest skill they excel at but are embarrassed of?Kit is very good at the piano, but rarely plays after all his forced childhood recitals. These days, he only really uses the talent to get him laid.Wren is a good singer/pianist, but he’s too shy to ever show anyone.

35. How do they respond to being criticized for their shortcomings? Kit will try to defend himself most of the time, unless he’s hit right in the insecurities. Then he’ll just kinda try not to cry.Wren will just sorta humbly agree until the person goes away and then feel bad.

#whump #illness #injury #angst #whump asks #oc asks #kit #raycraft #wren #astor #tw abuse #tw mental health #tw alchoholism #god idk how to tag this shit #dont-look-so-good

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