#I had been thinking about this and I'm very happy nasa sees it the same way ngl

[jaigalorad]

𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐀𝐋𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐀𝐋𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 happy new year y'all !! Allow be to begin by saying my deepest gratitude to the rp community here where each and every one of you have expressed the art and literature i crave for. Last year was filled with life changes that includes new research opporunities at the JPL labs at caltech ( A DREAM COME TRUE ) alongside my work at nasa so writing has become a luxury i hope to reclaim soon enough. I'm grateful for my friends and family that helped me with my journey, and so excited to see what's in store next !! Without further ado, ima shout - out you lovelies 💙 💙 💙

@vuulpecula : i don't think i really need to say, but imma say it anyway. I've had one of the largest growths writing with you. Your creativity makes my muse's heart jump around in ways I never thought possible in the last five years. Like, I really began to like writing again ? Ohhhhh my gosh starbuck you have a superpower and it's insane. Despite my writing pace, I crave our plots together, so thank you for being one of the best people this planet has been gifted by <3 I love you so much starbuck, please be aware of reply attacks soon

@galaxycrxss : AAAASH AIGHT SO there's just simply too much to say about you that I can't express in words. You single handedly saved my blog all those years ago with your amaing lil hiro. your clone boys and other amazing muses, each one just so purely written. We both know dave plagerized you smh. You keep tabs on me all the time, and this is a constant gesture I will always keep close to my heart, because I'm simply lucky to have you and my friend. Thank you for the great expereience, here's to more this year !!

@debelltio : alistair, ohhh where do I begin ? From headcanons to plot ideas you never cease to end the boundless creativity. I'm utterally entranced by your writing, I hope you know I'll always be your admirer, just as much as I am thankful that we've come across years ago &lt;3

@acharnemcnt : AME omg may I please scream about you ? The amount of passion I read from you sparks inspiration. The headcanons are so eloquently written I can't help but think what my muses think / do in similar senarios. You are a gift in the rpc and a gift to this planet. Thank you for writing with me, I can't wait for more shenanigans !!

𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐈'𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 & 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 : thank you so so much for being in the rpc. This community isn't the same without you. I hope to reach out to y'all very soon and very excited to scream together !!

@commandsir , @aniimvs , @ofpolitics , @alootus , @jedimessiah , @adversitybloomed , @sithsjedi , @lmperiums , @paramounticebound , @spokewar , @glorylead , @moonofiego , @mpiremoff , @techniiciian

#∦∦ ━━ •• 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐀 𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐘𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ( ooc. ) #( HELLLLOOOOOO ) #( me rn: caaan you feeeeeel the loooooove toniiiiight ) #( HAPPY NEW YEAR Y'ALL )

[elytrafemme]

i mightve sent smth like this already. can't remember tbh. but like. cough syrup is prolly the first fic i've read with a psychotic character who isn't just. written weirdly? like. idk how to explain it. cs!ranboo just seems. so human?? which was and still is really comforting. bc i read cough syrup a bit after i kinda. started coming to terms with the fact that i'm prolly. psychotic to some extent. and like. i'm just some lanky dude who shops off the hot topic clearance rack. and cs!ranboo's like that too. and. idk. where i was going with this. but yeah. thank u for cough syrup it makes me feel human

it was around chapter 8 or 9, i think, when i had talked to my therapist about some issues i was having and she told me it could have been stress induced illusions. that later snow-balled rapidly into depression-linked psychosis, and then into just psychosis, since y'know, i started writing cough syrup in the tail-end of my psychotic break early 2021. took me a lot longer to realize that's what that had been, though.

and y'know i had intended to make cs!ranboo struggle with psychosis at some capacity, since that just fit c!ranboo's character, but it became a lot more personal to me at that point. cs!ranboo was the only place i felt i could talk about these delusions and all this shit i was dealing with, and in all the times i was sobbing because i had lost so much to this perceived failure of my mind, i thought that maybe i could write this character who has the same issues as me, getting a chance to be happy. to find people that love him, who will stay by him, who he could find some kind of stabilizing and lasting peace with.

in a lot of ways, though i bitch now about having to write his chapters, cs!ranboo was my way of coping with a lot of things i was going through. and you know i was actually scared of posting it at a certain point, because it feels so fucking vulnerable. you don't really see a lot of psychotic characters in media that aren't stereotyped, oftentimes written by non psychotic people following a checklist and inevitably messing up somewhere because they're being careless and then find themselves creating this caricature. i don't ever claim that my writing is perfect or good or without flaws, but at the very least my portrayals are genuine in some sense, that i'm using experience and research and both combined to guide it.

i think one of the best things to ever come out of cough syrup is people finding comfort in the characters. so many people found solidarity with cs!tubbo from the beginning, and that grew into projecting things onto him that i'm happy to accept because hell they're not just my characters, they're characters i'm sharing with you all. but what gets me is how many people find comfort in cs!ranboo, like you, because i was so worried about casting that light on everything and am so glad now that i did it.

it's incredibly fucking important to me that the characters i write feel like people. cs!tubbo isn't just an addict, he's a teen who likes checking on NASA's annual halloween-themed posters and who only gets extremely competitive when playing Wii sports games and creates all these associations in his head and fucking sucks at making paper cranes but does them anyway as a love language. cs!tommy isn't just an abuse victim, he's a teen who's favorite color is red and half his clothes are like that and he knows all the cool parks and shops in town and he loves walking around and finding more places and he likes superheroes and animal crossing.

and cs!ranboo isn't just his psychosis, he's a teen that likes baking but hates having to bake cupcakes and will complain about that, and he likes taking photos of other people and hanging onto them for a while, and he likes the idea of falling in love but is a little clumsy with it, and he has a questionable fashion sense but it makes him feel comfortable, and he likes english class but hates chemistry

and all i hope to do is show that (1) these characters' lives are affected by their struggles, but it's not all they are as people (2) you are deserving of love and WILL be loved no matter what you struggle through (3) if you connect to any of the cast, hi i love you you're going to make it you're going to be happy.

sorry for the long tangent. i just - this ask made me feel really happy. because hearing this, that people can find some connection with cough syrup? it's all i've ever wanted. if i hear that then i have a reason to keep writing it, i have a reason to fight through annoying ass chapters and the whole lot of it.

wishing you the best anon. thank you for sharing this with me.

#nightmare.ask #nightmare.cough-syrup #nightmare.fave #i'm kind of rambling but i hope you get my idea #you know and even characters like cs!schlatt. i could have always improved my writing of him and i'm aware of that #but he's not just an addict. he had likes and dislikes and aspirations and ambitions #good days and bad days and there was a reason for his life #he's not some caricature of awfulness and neither is cs!dream #one of the things both cs!tubbo and cs!ranboo struggle with is loving those two people #and that's because they aren't just the people who abused them but they were other human beings #they don't deserve forgiveness or compassion or even love from the two of them #but i feel as if my writing would have been an abject failure if those two didn't feel those feelings to some extent #because shit is complicated and they aren't just blank faced caricatures of evil. again. they were people

[psycholojosh]

The Unwritten Part of Clinical Psych Training

Almost over two months ago, I went out spontaneously with my two good friends in MA - Mikka (she/her) and Magsi (he/him). We drove up to Antipolo one night and ate dinner with booze at Padi's Point while enjoying the lovely view overlooking Metro Manila under a clear night sky. It was spectacular! The last time we all got together in-person was before the pandemic. Since then, we just had online Zoom calls and our Telegram group chat. But, there we were in the flesh, happy to be in each other's company once again.

A significant part of one of our conversations was -- of course -- how we were all doing in our master's journey. Magsi, since the pandemic, had finally switched full-time in studying, whereas Mikka and I still had to work for a living. But all the same, we all felt like we were in the climax of our clinical training: Learning several tough pills to swallow.

The biggest 'pill' we talked about was about us. Part of the journey to become a psychologist is to do a lot of introspection and deep diving to get to know who you are as a person, before anything else. We have to know our strengths and weaknesses, and how we can improve ourselves in managing them. Paraphrasing Lori Gottlieb (a US-based psychotherapist and author), the essence of being a therapist is to lead clients in embracing vulnerability and accountability. And the amazing and scary part here is that there is no class for that -- at least, not in technicality. In fact, all classes integrate some form of reflective practice that makes us ask the difficult questions about ourselves. One of mine thus far, for example, was a question of my worth and intellect. While I did pride myself to be a nerd at best, I've had professors who taught me how to criticize that part of me and see when it serves its purpose and when it doesn't. I had many difficult conversations with myself, my loved ones, and even my professors about this. And ever since these discussions, I've noticed changes in the way I think, speak, act, or even feel.

But it goes without saying: Scrutinizing yourself is very painful. Sometimes, it can be emotionally excruciating because, well... we are our own worst therapists. We could be so harsh on ourselves that we forget that the real challenge is to not to devalue our dignity but to understand it in a realistic point of view. It's like you're breaking yourself into a million pieces to find the gems and coals underneath only to put everything back together. The good, bad, or neutral pieces of ourselves are what makes us humans after all. And to tell you the truth, I sincerely think I have only scratched the surface a couple centimeters.

There is courage in knowing things that you realize you dislike about yourself. In the past months being a working student, while juggling many responsibilities in my personal life and relationships, I found that I had so many emotional dysregulation, a lot of anxiety, and a lot of perfectionism. It wasn't healthy, to say the least. The sad part about all this, for me, is that I haven't had the time to seek professional help or guidance to sort things out. While I do think I can still manage, it would've been ideal for me to resume (yes, I've had cycles already before) my therapy.

But that takes a lot of courage too. When you subject yourself to the vulnerability that one feels when one wishes to change, it can get very uncomfortable. I can't remember how many times I've shed tears in my therapy sessions since 2016. But what I've discovered in those heartfelt moments is that I was opportunities for emotional growth and understanding. I can't really say I've perfectly mastered such a "skill", but I think I'm getting there albeit slowly.

When we hashed out these points, Magsi, Mikka, and I had this very satisfied look on our faces -- maybe because of the booze. It wasn't until Mikka's remark that everything sunk in. She said, "Ang hirap, ano? Nasa punto na tayo na tayo na yung nagbabago."

She was right. Kami na yung nagbabago.

But in our comforting smiles and sighs, we knew that we had our personal journeys at that point.

If there's any advice I could give to anyone out there -- regardless if you're in my field or not -- is that to embrace change and growth means to get uncomfortable. To transform is to bravely face the truth that you may leave behind some things that you found to be valuable to you, to discover what else must be carried in your personal journey towards growth. I know these sound so profound, but that's nonetheless true.

I think the magic about that conversation was that we were all sharing that sense of humanity. The three of us (and our friends and classmates) are figuring things out -- especially as "adults", whatever that means. The unspoken part about our road towards becoming clinical psychologists is that we are, after all, our first client. We are our first therapy. We are our first difficulty. But we can also be our first continuing success.

And I think that's something worth pushing forward for.

#rpmentries #filipino psychometrician #psychometrician #mental health #grad school #self care #studyblr #clinical psychology #grad student #gradblr

[watch-my-cosmic-death]

Hey hun<3

Ahh stop thank you for being so kind I can't tnejfjje

Ohmygosh yes!!! I love your brain!! Light beams are so ethereal and so damn pretty. I have watched so many videos of concerts and raves just to see the light shine through the smoke. I really want to see that in person one day!!

Oh no don't cry!!! You're too cute. You deserve every compliment and so many more. You're such a wonderful person and I'm so damn happy to get to talk with you so often<33

I swear it's only moths and like old people lmao

Ah!!! stop it you're making me blush!!!! I don't think I'm that special, I just have a tendency of overthinking things. But thank you<333:)))

Hfjwicjwkxkek ohmygosh stop you'll make me fall in love with you or something!!! You're so sweet thank you so much<3333:))

That's so sweet. Neptune is such an amazing planet and a wonderful choice!! I really like that about you, you always have such amazing options. Okay I know that he's just a chunk of ice and rock but he deserves his status back!!! And right?!? There's so much out there just floating!! it's weird to me that you can never see it in any of the pictures that NASA shows us, idk I've always thought that was strange. And like it being so much junk aside, theres so much of our history within it all! We have come so so far in the last 20 years!!!

Nebulas are so incredibly powerful and I'm in such awe of them. They're so beautiful and scary at the same time!! But no you haven't said too much I swear. I love hearing everything you care about! I enjoy reading things that are important to you<3 oh my gosh the thought of living on a whole other PLANET is such an amazing thing to think about. And although I would really like it to be in my lifetime as well, I kind of hope it isn't. Because that would be so scary!!

Getting super into a book is such a wonderful experience and I love it so much but once the book or series ends I am left with so much sadness. Like I've lost a close friend, y'know? It's sad and happy at the same time. Though I'm not reading anything right now. I've been trying to get into another book or series but I can't find anything that I've been taken by just yet. I've read a series called Clockwork Angel in the past and oh man they are three amazing books!! The ending made me cry so much though:'(

Rihanna is such a strong and wonderful woman!! I have so much respect for how much she has accomplished over the years!! And she's very attractive but that's for another conversation haha:) I think Sleep Token is a mix of Pop and Metal. Two of my faves of theirs is Granite and Alkaline. I really relate to those songs. I think they're really nice. What are some of your favourite songs and artists? Anything you're super into right now?:)

Thank you so much! You don't now just how much that means to me, you're so sweet<33

I'm sorry. That sounds really frustrating. I would say it's neat that they came to see you but if it was just sad then not so much. I'm sorry it wasn't better seeing them:( That's so cool that it snowed though! I love the snow!!! I love the quiet and clarity that comes with it:)

I hope your day has been better today!! Mine hasn't been too bad, it was my day off but my boss called me in to take a part of her shift because she had something that came up with her family. I haven't been sleeping very well, or at all, the last few days. But that's alright. Nothing caffeine can't fix haha

My name is Audrey though online I've started going by Ray/Razz. It's just a little more gender neutral and I really like that. And trust me, I don't think I could ever hate you hun! You're all good<3:)

Hiii :))))

'Hun' - Stop aajskhf- That's so cute! <3

You get it!!! I didn't even think about rave lights! I love those. When I got tired at parties, I'd lay on the chairs and watch all the lights. It's one of my favourite things!! They're so pretty! I think rave lights would look sick in person- especially with all the smoke machines, plus music. I hope you get to experience that one day!

It's not even funny how red my face is! You're truly lovely. But I can't handle blushing every other sentence. You're so sweet, thank you. My day honestly gets so much better after speaking with you. You're just that awesome. I'm really happy I get to speak with you often, too. <33

I reject the implication that you're "not that special." You most definitely are! Please, at this rate I'll end up falling in love with you first hun. <3

That was such a specific compliment about options- I'm actually holding on by a thread- Okay- We should start a petition to bring him back to the planet gang! We're technally part chunky ice and part rock! It's not fair. :( I feel like the images may be photoshopped beforehand. Not in- the earth is flat type of way - Never that, more in an enhanced colour correcting, making it look aesthetic way. Or they crop it out, could have just said that, but no I went the long way around. Again, your beautiful brain! I didn't think of the historical value of the machines we've built, but you're completely right! Years of building and history lost in a vast sea of nothing!

At this point, half my paragraphs are going to be about your comments towards me and my lack of functioning after reading them. But I do love how reassuring you are, it's really sweet of you. :) <3 Nebulas are quite literally fucking horrifying, and that's why I love them so much. :) To look at something like that and understand what's happening. Truly the stuff to create an existential crisis. Same with living on another planet. If you were truly there- societal breakdown. You have to carry everything over for it to be the same, morals, behaviours, beliefs. Kind of weird how much you'd have to take morally and functionally. That's if it's liveable. Just visiting. You gots to take respect and love. I have reached the point where I don't know what I'm saying.

I feel the same way about my tv shows! It's like mourning a friendship rather than a tv show or book. Bittersweet... I hope you find a series that you enjoy and get to flutter through and become apart of. I haven't heard of that series. What's it about? What's your favourite things about it? Which were your favourite characters?? - I'm sorry the ending made you cry. :( I bet it's a beautiful story to look back on? I always find if something coming to an end makes me cry, then it was worth it all and more.

She is extremely attractive, and we should definitely have that conversation because it's always relevant! My god, I love her. She's so cool as well, like how are you gonna be that attractive, that talented, with all that swag and on top of that! Perform whilst pregnant at the half-time show- What I'm saying is that women is a goddess and there should be a statue in every town of her. - I will put those on my Spotify and give them a listen tomorrow whilst I get my tattoo done. :) I have so many different top songs. Of all time, I'd say No Eyes by Claptone and JAW would be the one that is completely engraved in me. It's an extremely simple song, but it means a lot to me based on why and when I found it. I have many others, though. Artist hmm- Obviously, Rihanna, Lady Gaga, The 1975, The neighbourhood, the prodigy, etc. The list goes on and on. I can never sum myself up when speaking on music. But currently, I'm listening to a lot of soundtracks and 'dark academia' music. My mind's been loud, so- no lyrics currently.

It's just weird- I feel like every time I talk to them, they don't listen. Or the judge me. That was all. Maybe it was because I didn't eat until they left. I guess we'll never knowwww. But thank you. You're so nice. Again your mind. I love snow. That dampness in sound when it heavy falls, and the small specks of shine in an untouched layer. It's like a gentle blanket over the world. It's so calming. The Shinning is one of my favourite horrors, and those shots of just the snow and no music-phenomenal.

It's actually night now, I just stayed up to respond lmao. Kind sucky you got called in on your off day. Especially since you haven't been doing great. (I hope her family is alright, and that everything was ok.) I'm sorry you haven't been sleeping, I get how frustrating that can become. Have you tried any remedies?

Oh, thank god! I was worried for a minute. -That's what I did with Rj! My full name is Renée, but online it's Rj. Either's fine by me. Thank you for letting me know by the way :) - Again with the hun asfgsk <33:))

(I wrote this whilst tired. I'm sorry if there's any confusion at any point. I'm just as confused)

#im very tired #my response is not that great #but I wanted to answer #<3 #r #asksss

[ashorterurl]

NASA got a question about whether Perseverance will also sing itself happy birthday and why was there such a function for Curiosity and responded that yes, because it's lonely on Mars and maybe Curiosity and Perseverance will sing each other happy birthday and that's really all you need to know from this livestream

#I had been thinking about this and I'm very happy nasa sees it the same way ngl #nasa #perseverance rover #Mars 2021 #Mars 2020

[newtonsheffield]

does neddy ask anthony why kate used to say that his dad wouldn't want to see him ?

Hmmm I don't think he asks Anthony, but I think he would ask Kate. Because he'd been so nervous to meet his Dad I think he'd be a bit apprehensive.

"Mum... Why did you tell me Anthony might not want to meet me?" Edmund's brow was furrowed, his voice tiny. "He wants to come and play Nintendo with me tomorrow, maybe, if he has time."

Kate had been dreading this question, ever since she'd come home and said He wants to meet you tomorrow.

"Neddy, things with your Dad and I are really complicated, and I didn't think he would want to see me again." She doesn't really know how to tell him that he sent someone else to kick her out of his house, rather than do it himself, and she wouldn't want Edmund to think badly of his father so she settles on a half truth, "When we decided not to be together anymore, it was very final. And I just didn't want you to be disappointed."

Edmund slowly nods, his hands fiddling with his NASA sweatshirt, the one she found at a thrift store for him and his face lit up wth excitement.

"Did you like him?" She can't help but ask, wonder what's going on in his head, Anthony used to be just the same when he was thinking, the cogs slowly turning.

A bright smile on his face suddenly, "Yeah! He seems really cool, and he says he's going to take me to the museum, he says that the dinosaur exhibit is really cool, and also that we could maybe, if it's okay with you, go to the Science museum which is just down the street!"

And her heart leaps to see him this happy but suddenly he pauses, "I'm sorry that I took the Nintendo without asking if it was okay, I know it's a really expensive gift, and I shouldn't have- but I didn't know-"

"Neddy," She cuts him off tugging him against her chest, "I'm glad you liked your Dad, and of course I want you to have a good time with him, and I don't care how expensive his present was, if you like it, you can keep it."

His voice is quiet, "Do you think you could come with me to the museum with him? I just... I want to spend time with him, but I don't know him that well, and I'm really nervous."

And even though her chest is aching at the thought of going out, like a happy little family, she says, "I'll talk to him about it."

And finally Edmund says "I look like him, I think. But he's a lot taller. I googled him, and I found an article ranking him the hottest politician in England."

And Kate's chest aches, because he was even more handsome than she remembered, and her breath still caught when she looked at him but she forces herself to scoff and says, "You're much more handsome."

#a crumpled up piece of paper #kathony #anthony x kate #kate sharma #kate sheffield #anthony bridgerton #edmund bridgerton ii #molly's asks and answers

[planned-planethood]

A list of things to be excited about in space exploration

In space science and exploration, things tend to move slowly. That is, until they don't. It is easy to lose perspective on exactly what is possible when the right people are providing the right support for exploration initiatives.

With significant advances in rocket technology, ambitious programs from one administration being continued by the next (THANK YOU, finally!) and funding for NASA at an all time high there are some exciting things coming up not just in our lifetimes, but possibly in the next few years for some of these. Here is a list of things that could actually happen which will make your imagination go wild:

- The Artemis program: the Artemis program was started in 2017. For years there has been intense debate about whether or not we should be returning to the Moon or sending astronauts to Mars. This debate, it seems, has finally ended. When President Biden determined to continue to support the previous administration's goals to return Americans to the Moon, all remaining opposition evaporated as the space-science community wants to simply conduct human exploration missions again regardless of the destination. Now, with essentially unified support and bipartisan political capital, the Artemis program looks extremely likely to survive.

It's more than just a return to the Moon though. We will be building a new space station called the Lunar Gateway. Gateway will orbit around the Moon and provide NASA with a way station from which SpaceX rocket ships will ferry astronauts to the Lunar surface. At this point, what happens next becomes a little more nebulous. NASA is currently researching the feasibility of founding a permanent colony on the Moon on the South Pole (I also have some things to say about this landing site in the future that I can't talk about right now, but resources could be slightly more plentiful than is known currently).

The target year for human feet to stand on the Moon again is no farther than the year 2024. This timeline can and probably will slip, but it's currently unlikely to slip significantly. Before the year 2030, we're highly likely to be inhabiting the Moon again, this time, with no intention of leaving. The Artemis program will aim to develop a lunar economy as a way of incentivizing both more public and private investing in lunar exploration.

One thing that I'm personally happy about is that with with rockets finally becoming cheaper to use, and spacecraft working autonomously now most of the time, it is predicted that the number of astronauts required to be experimental aircraft pilots from the military will probably go down. Let's send some more geologists to the Moon!

Oh and by the way, since I mentioned way stations earlier...

- Astronauts on Mars: This has been the holy grail-goal of space exploration since humanity has realized Mars was another planet. NASA's Artemis program is designed to not simply be a lunar program. The goal isn't just to create a lunar economy: the goal of the Artemis program is to create a sustainable lunar presence so that the Moon can be used as a way station for much deeper space exploration. The idea is that with easier access to the lunar surface, NASA will be able to rapidly run tests and develop technologies that we would need to embark on what could be the most treacherous and epic human exploration adventure in history. It would also be fantastic logistical support to a potential permanent or semi-permanent colony on Mars.

... and NASA may not even get there first.

SpaceX, eager to showcase their own Starship, is currently planning a human mission to Mars in 2026. Humans have never trod on another planet before. This event, whether done by SpaceX, NASA, or any other entity, would be one of the greatest accomplishments in human history. It would hopefully mark the dawning of a new era in human civilization, for the betterment of us all.

- Venus: It's been decades since NASA has sent a mission to Venus. The number of Venus experts has gradually dwindled, and now we are in danger of all of them retiring out of planetary science before their knowledge can actually be passed on. Thankfully, NASA just announced two separate missions to Venus to investigate basically everything you can possibly imagine. DAVINCI+ will send a lander to the surface and VERITAS will orbit the planet and map the surface in high resolution for the first time. We don't really know what sort of surprises this incredible world holds in store for us. It may be that we find a planet full of active volcanism, and evidence that long ago it was habitable for life as we know it.

Astrobiologists have recently begun paying even closer attention to this planet as there have been some interesting signs that, and I say this cautiously, Venus may have biosignatures. Ultimately, it's an entire planet, our neighbor, and we are going to see incredible images, and learn so much about planets, how they form, evolve, and improve our understanding of how easily a terrestrial world can become habitable. Both missions launch this decade.

- The Search for Life: There's been a veritable revolution in exoplanet hunting over the last decade. Missions like Kepler have provided us with mind-boggling amounts of data to go through, much of which has led to the discovery of so-called exoplanets, planets in other star systems. Right now we are closing in on approximately 5000 confirmed exoplanets.

It's almost impossible to mention exoplanets without immediately breaking into the subject of habitable zones. The fact of the matter is that we're well into the numbers game that one day, will turn up something stunning that will change humanity forever. In my opinion, it's a matter of time. With the rate of exoplanet detections growing rapidly, it seems like a matter of rapidly shrinking time before we come across a truth that, if it is out there, will reveal itself.

Scientists are currently studying a relativistic telescope concept which would make use of the light-bending properties of relativity, combined with the mass of the Sun, to warp light in such a way that it magnifies the image of whatever is in the warped light. Such a telescope could reveal surface details of an exoplanet: if there are oceans, we would be able to resolve them. Same to mountain ranges. City lights.

Whatever the truth is, it may be difficult to hide from the astronomers of Earth for much longer as our sight has officially pierced the interstellar veil and active searches for signs of life outside the Solar System have absolutely begun.

Breakthrough Starshot is a mission concept that would actually send a small spacecraft to our nearest stellar neighbor, Proxima Centauri. Around this star is an exoplanet: Proxima Centauri b. What would a flyby mission see on this mystery planet? Right now, we have no idea. Proxima Centauri b orbits in its star's habitable zone. Unfortunately, if this mission ultimately makes it off the ground, it would take in the range of 30 years to reach its destination and send its photographs back. Fortunately, that's within most of our naturally remaining lifetimes. I think it's worth the wait.

We won't be waiting idly however. Right here in our very Solar System, we are closing in on a number of ways in which the idea of a habitable zone can be played around with. Icy moons around places like Jupiter and Saturn have seriously reopened questions of where life-as-we-know-it could live. Queue the discovery of the ecosystems living around hydrothermal vents at the bottom of the lightless oceans of Earth. Diverse communities of never-before-seen creatures were living entirely without sunlight being involved at any point in their ecosystem.

Scientists now believe hydrothermal vents exist on moons like Europa and Enceladus, inside liquid water oceans, hidden under the ice. In a few years, NASA is launching a mission to fly around Europa. Perhaps it well get a chance to fly through one of the erupting geysers and take a look around. A mission to land on the surface is being designed as we speak to be proposed to NASA.

Never in human history, written and unwritten, have we realistically had to contend with the idea of knowing the Truth (as Mulder puts it). Well, contend away folks. We might not be wondering for a whole lot longer. Things might move slowly, until they don't.

Space exploration has never been boring, but we are without a doubt entering a golden age for space science and exploration.

(Image credit: Steve Jurvetson~NASA~NASA/JPL-Caltech~ESO/M. Kornmesser respectively)

#nasa #space #planetary science #artemis #astronaut #mars #moon #alien #extraterrestrial #science

[allsystemsarenotgo]

Missing Out

Two weeks ago, a (couple) friends came down from Iowa to hang out with us for 3 weekends in a row. Dad and I knew them through the internet, but we hadn't really talked much.

That changed 2 weeks ago when we met up in Tulsa. I helped them quite a bit and we talked some off and on. We didn't get to park near eachother, and there wasn't much down-time, so socializing was rather limited to the small bursts. On the other hand though, the lady of the couple and I did start messaging about various things (potpourri), some related to the event we were at, some not so much.

The messaging continued through the week, off and on. We talked about how we are both introverts, how we both have family issues, came from BFE and moved to big cities. Good conversation.

Last weekend we were near Dallas, and though we didn't park near eachother, there was alot more downtime, and we spent a fair bit of that downtime talking, either in person or through messenger. We all had a really good weekend there.

On Tuesday, she was getting bored of being stuck in their RV and not being able to get around. She jokingly asked if I could bring her lunch, but seeing as I was at work, I offered up the option of hanging out around Dinner and we could be tourists for an evening.

She wasn't sure how her husband would take the idea - but he had no problem with it. Considering she's not one that usually hangs out with others, and I have a history of jealous people controlling who I can be around, neither of us neccesarily expected to have permission/comfortability to hang out.

I picked her up after work, and showed her around the touristy parts of DFW. Places I don't even go, because I'm a homebody & have nobody to go places with, so in a way I was a tourist too.

We spent basically from 5PM to Midnight together - and it was wonderful. 7 hours of legitimate happiness and comfort - I think for both of us.

I got home at 1AM after dropping her off at their motorhome, and was up until 3:30 or so trying to calm my brain down. I couldn't focus on anything, not even writing. Eventually I passed out and got 4 hours of sleep before going back to work.

We all reunited for the third weekend in a row in Houston yesterday morning.

Since none of us had plans for the day, her husband suggested going to NASA, since he is a science buff (like me).

So we went to NASA as a group. As we were on the platform around the Shuttle, she intentionally bumped into me, arm to arm (the loving/caring kind of "Hey you" bump). It made me smile. Of course then she says "Why are you smiling" while she is too.

The rest of NASA was uneventful, and we all went out to dinner (also generally uneventful).

We haven't really gotten to hang out much today, it's been too rainy to do anything worthwhile.

I only have two in-person friends. I don't get to hang out with them very often. The whole "socializing" thing is foreign to me.

So to have somebody that understands that and is the same way - it's a huge relief.

We're both self-conscious introverts with minimal-to-no social circle that sometimes struggle to feel like we belong where we are.

I don't smile often.

I loosely brought up love languages. She said she can hug me more. (Such a foreign concept, most people I know are touch-aversioned or Haphephobia).

She even mentioned that she would hug me more, but doesn't know how others would take it.

I really don't care.

You have to seek happiness more than anything else. And if that means being a little selfish - then be selfish. Life is too short to not be chasing happiness. We aren't guaranteed tomorrow. That especially applies here because we don't know when we may see eachother again. As it is, we are lucky our paths have crossed as much as they have the last 3 weeks.

It's important that her husband understands and is comfortable, of course.

And I legitimately worry about if there is going to be a period of withdrawal because we have become so close and are so similar in some ways.

But I can't worry now. I have happiness to pursue.

What the last 3 weeks have taught me, though, is how much love I have missed out on because I haven't found the right person yet.

I know she is out there somewhere.

And I can only hope that she loves on me as much as this young lady does. She sent me this below meme earlier today, and it's exactly perfect.

[astrojmonaf1]

This isn't the F1 we love

History in the making, Unfair Rulings, and Big Disappointments

Formula One is a sport that many define as the closest thing to riding a rocket into outer space because of the downforce generated inside the 800 kg car which is more than the weight of the vehicle itself.

Every time the drivers get behind the wheel, they defy gravity which is very much compared to being inside a Space Shuttle and a modern F1 car can pull more G’s than a Space Shuttle launch. Think about that one for a minute.

This week, Falcon Heavy carried an extraordinary payload, a rocket full of satellites and between them a Solar Sail is known as LightSail 2 the size of a loaf of bread which is the second spacecraft of it's kind with nothing, not one engine but the energy of photons to propel it in orbit and promote space exploration.

Then, NASA on June 27th announced that we are going back to Saturn’s biggest Moon, Titan, to send a helicopter drone named “Dragonfly,” to uncover the fundamental blocks that gave way life to our planet.

That race is no easy feat.

The last time NASA accomplished this was during the Cassini-Huygens Mission, and until this day it remains the farthest aircraft to ever land in the outer Solar System.

Just like Cassini and Huygens, Formula One has a lot of things in common.

A lot of preparation and teams of two, but sometimes not both make it till the end.

This week we saw the youngest podium ever to win in Formula One history at the Austrian Grand Prix.

Amidst back grid positions, penalties for impending drivers and a theatrical ending, and why yes— even a fake document from a pesky fan, because you have to have it all in Formula One, FIA could not taken long to call on their investigation for this year’s winner.

Max Verstappen wheeled banged himself into Ferrari’s Charles Leclerc on lap 69 which cost the Monégasque his first win.

The Dutchman had earlier overtaken on Bottas from Mercedes right after saying his hybrid engine was losing power and as if a miracle, recovered.

The Finnish and teammate to Lewis Hamilton for Mercedes was having overheating issues, but kept the pace with the 21-year-old, said “made the most out of it. It was a bit more difficult than we expected, especially with the overheating of the engine, so couldn’t race properly – had to manage all.”

The FIA Regulations clearly state:

Article 27.4. : "At no time may a car be driven unnecessarily slowly, erratically, or in a manner which could be deemed potentially dangerous to another driver or any other person.”

It almost seems as if they were quick enough to deliver a penalty against Sebastian Vettel who had nowhere to go when Lewis Hamilton kicked him out of track in Canada, and it showed.

“I had nowhere to go,” Vettel said, to Lewis Hamilton when he was broadcasted through by Sky Sports after the race was over, “Seriously, I had nowhere to go.”

Sebastian Vettel, superpositioned the FINISH order of the signs once he caught up to the two drivers, Leclerc, and Hamilton in Canada.

Yes, stewards, you can fool yourselves but not a man behind the wheel!

The rules stand clear on this one.

And although this year's rules were changed to allow overtaking to increase by 50%, that oversight by the judges caused Vettel the race by 5 seconds which subsequently handed Hamilton first place.

That same discrepancy and too much power in the stewards allowed the Monégasque to lose the track not because he could not win it but because of incompetence from the governing body.

A dramatic end indeed which translates it to another week in Formula One, even if Verstappen was able to break the 1-2 Mercedes partnership, FIA, you had one job, just one, and you messed it up.

What does that mean for the greatest single seat racing sport in the world? The biggest stage in racing that is? It means that even if Honda Racing waited nearly 13 years, for their big break by Verstappen, and Congratulations— for it must feel excellent that you got something handed to you unfairly well, the real winners here are the Fédération.

It means there is a big problem going on with Formula One.

Their penalty process or lack thereof has become a substantiated mess.

FIA forwent their own rulebook when it comes to the violations but happily look away when it pleases their judges.

No wonder why fans have taken it upon themselves into forging fake documents.

They no longer have the ability to trust the governing body, there is no credibility left in the sport after they have blatantly showed to favor certain teams, especially after changing the rulebook to appease them.

Whatever credibility the fans used to have in this organization there is none left, and can you blame them?

The whole system is wrong. Do they know how it works? It is their system after all, but it is broken, and it needs a complete overhaul.

Two hundred and three thousand attendees turned up today in Spielberg, Austria, to celebrate the legend, Niki Lauda, where they saw a Turn named after him. Were he still with us today would he be proud?

This is a massive sport, with millions of fans visiting the circuits and audiences tuning in tandem online and through cable TV, cheering for their favorite teams, from Ferrari to McLaren, Red Bull, and Mercedes to name a few of the top favorites.

There are currently 20 male drivers in the series.

It isn't an easy feat to get licensed for Formula One; many think that the name helps, that it may be a ticket to get into Ferrari Driver Academy, but that is not true. You have to have talent.

And this year's alumni prove it; it isn't like any other group of drivers in the history of the Federation.

Without a shadow of a doubt, they are the youngest group Formula One has ever put behind the wheel and inside a helmet.

We saw Charles Leclerc, Max Verstappen, and Lando Norris set some impressive records in Austria this week.

The young British driver from McLaren was poking fun early about keeping the Aussie on check from DRS.

It was a beautiful thing when he was radio’d. ”Like, Forever?” he replied to his team.

Ferrari driver, Charles Leclerc, 21, winning pole position for the Austrian Grand Prix on Saturday, while Mercedes' Lewis Hamilton 5 time World Champion, was given a three-place grid penalty which forced start him in the fifth position on the grid for impending Alfa Romeo's Kimi Raikkonen.

He went as far as saying “We’ve been chipping away at it, but right from the get-go we noticed a bit of a deficit to the Ferraris,” Hamilton said.

“We definitely underestimated how fast they would be, I would say, and I think ultimately on the straights.”

“They really kill us on the straights.” because the Monégasque was leaving him in the dust by a margin.

Raikkonen gave a middle finger at the five-time world champion as Lewis overtook him. About the incident he said, "He blocked me, simple as that," Raikkonen said.

It is known that Hamilton can get tricky on those laps and get off the hook with penalties, FIA notwithstanding has looked the other way and handed them to other drivers like Sebastian Vettel, Ferrari's teammate to Charles Leclerc, who after the Canadian Grand Prix was given a five-second penalty, which ultimately cost him the race to Lewis Hamilton.

During the Austrian Grand Prix, his luck had not changed.

The air pressure line to the engine was acting up, and the mechanics had to shield his car from view while Leclerc had to leave him behind to go on the circuit. Vettel had to stay on the vehicle for as long as he could.

“The car was obviously broken so we couldn’t fire it up and go,” he said.

“We fairly quickly made the decision to change, but it’s not so easy to take the bodywork off.”

“We done everything we could be we couldn't get it done in time." he continued.

“There's nothing you can do inside the car. It's nobodies fault, but we need to understand what happened and make sure it doesn't happen again.”

“At that time it's nobodies fault, I knew most likely that if we fixed it, there would be one run, so I tried to focus solely on that.”

“As much of a pain it is, it's good to see that the other car came through and got pole.”

“I'm happy for the team, obviously not happy for my side. We'll have a good day and a good race tomorrow.”

Following Vettel’s comments Mattia Binotto, Ferrari F1 team boss said "It is an engine problem, "We had miscombustion on one cylinder, but it's yet to be understood.” which indicates they will be taking Vettel’s engine back to Maranello, Italy ahead of the Chinese Grand Prix.

This is Charles Leclerc's second career pole position after qualifying in Bahrain Grand Prix back in March, but missed out due to a cylinder malfunction where he allowed Mercedes AMG F1 Team took a 1-2 victory, Hamilton-Bottas from the overtook him in his last ten laps.

The Monégasque, who was repeatedly proving his driving credentials with speed, in Spielberg, started his driving career, karting at a very young age.

This time, however, was a different story, qualifying to leave the Mercedes in the dust by a margin, with Max Verstappen from Red Bull right behind him following his karting days from 2012.

This time seems as if “Chal Lelerc,“ as he joked on Twitter earlier in the day to the @F1 page when they @ mentioned him “Lelerc“ on a Tweet, was testing a rocket, because he broke the circuits record by 1.03.003 mins in which he evidently pushed himself to the limit, broken the year prior by Alfa Romeo's Kimi Räikkönnen by 1:06.957 mins.

“The car felt amazing actually,” said Leclerc during the FIA conference. “In FP1 I struggled a little bit, but then we did some changes, and from FP2 it was quite good and a big pleasure to drive this car on the limit. It just felt great, and I'm very happy to bring the pole position back home - but tomorrow we need to finish the job.”

Not in vain, he calls this his favorite circuit since in 2017 he won his first cup while he raced for Prema Racing in F2. It's safe to assume that after this loss and the stewards unfairly ruling he will continue to push to get that #1 Championship Title he deserves.

No offense to the winner, Max Verstappen but that ruling was uncalled and the stewards got it wrong.

FIA did give an opening for Ferrari to appeal but Mattia Binotto, Ferrari's Team Boss rejected it “to support the sport.”

“What's Ferrari's opinion and position - we still believe this is a wrong decision, that's our own opinion, we believe that Charles left the entire space, he had no fault, a collision has happened, and he has been pushed and forced off the track,” Binotto continued

“We believe these are clear rules, which we may appreciate or not, and these are exactly the same rules which have been applied in past races.”

“Having said that, we respect fully the decision of the stewards, they are the judge and we need to recognize that, and more than that I think that as a Ferrari fan - and I'm an ultimate Ferrari fan - I think it's time for F1 to turn the page and to look ahead.”

“As we often said, we should leave the drivers free to battle, so we may not be happy of the decision, we are not supporting the decision, but somehow we understand the fact that we need to move forward, and overall I think that's good for the sport and good for F1.”

Binotto may be looking to move forward from this one, but the fans won’t and if by 2021, FIA has not devolved from how their rulebook has immiserated fans worldwide, then, RIP Formula One.

Verstappen won the Austrian Grand Prix by 2.724 seconds, leading Charles Leclerc in Second Place, and Valteri Bottas in Third.

Congratulations on your big win.

By: Jennyffer McCulley June 30th, 2019

📸 : Reuters / Getty / AFP

#charles leclerc #scuderia ferrari #charles 16 #essere ferrari #max verstappen #Honda racing #red bull racing #red bull #leclerc #verstappen #Austrian GP 2019 #Austrian GP #motorsport #prema racing #fia formula 2 #fia formula 1 #karting #f1 history #formula one #Michael schumacher #niki lauda #sebastian vettel #kimi raikkonen #lewis hamilton #valteri bottas #lando norris #FIA #seb5 #Mercedes #mclaren

[thisturbulentspecies]

Blog entry 2 / 01.23.19

From The Cradle To The Grave

______________________________

Collapse and dismantlement: On form and dramaturgy in Liszt’S late symphonic poem From the Cradle to the Grave

"The symphonic poem From the Cradle to the Grave deserves a special status among Liszt’s symphonic works because he wrote it after a long break as part of his series of symphonic poems from his Weimar period. The composition was inspired by a drawing by the Hungarian painter Mihály Zichy. Many aspects of Liszt’s musical response to this drawing contrast with his older symphonic works. Liszt chooses a simple three-part structure, in which each movement is dedicated to one of the stages of life. The final movement functions as a thematic recapitulation and synthesis, which, however, is no longer staged as an emphatic breakthrough, as in earlier works, but rather as a process of dismantlement preceded by a dramatic collapse at the end of the second movement. The demonstrative break with the concept of a final apotheosis relates back not only to the source of inspiration for the work, but also to a transformation in the composer’s aesthetic viewpoint."

______________________________

This is my story. It belongs to me. Those other people were present. They are not part of this story. Also, their stories are not important to me. For, this is my story.

1:00 am, October 10, 1999. My Dad was dying. He was never going to recover. He would not get better. I do not believe in miracles. Even if I did, his body was broken. It couldn't be repaired by god or man. In the early hours of a Sunday, Priests we're busy doing whatever priests do. Reverends were busy preparing sermons and preparing to save souls. One million prayers could not change anything. Dad's doctors were resigned to the fact that a a terribly ill man was quickly dying. His body, like our bodies, is a machine made of water and flesh and muscle and blood and bone. His machine, was broken.

I sat in a small waiting room maybe 45 feet from the the holding cell for my Dad's soul. Those other people were in in the room. Hours passed and those people made small talk and prayed and drank coffee. Others sped from cities miles away to make small talk and pray and drink coffee with those other people.

My father was, in one form or the other, in very poor health since the late 1970's. All of my siblings were older and were oblivious to how bad it was back home. Dad's back injury forced to him retire. He had no choice but to watch his greenhouse, his second love, destroyed in front of him by the company that bought his land. Before we could move to our new house his greenhouse was burnt to the ground.

I had no choice but watch my parents marriage crash and burn. Mom got angry and Dad got depressed. I watched as they wept over the death of my brother. Soon followed by a quick divorce. I had a front row seat for all of this. Mom was crushed. Dad soon remarried a very mentally ill woman. Simply put, the last 18 years of my Dad's life had been difficult. Certainly not what he signed up for, especially in his early 70's.

My Dad will be remembered as a happy and gregarious man. He was a man of faith and integrity. He always wore a smile. He played acoustic guitar, like 3 chords, just enough to write and play heartfelt songs. Dad wept in private. Sometimes I heard him. He had lost his livelihood, his business, 2 sons and a marriage. A series of heartbreaks.

Dad was going to die soon. He suffered from diabetes, pneumonia and chronic pain. He was now going to die in the last room he would ever be in. Death would mean freedom for his soul. Wherever he was headed, it was better than that room.

The waiting room was in the ICU at Rockford Memorial Hospital. This room had chair's, a small couch, lamps, a coffee table, coffee maker and half a dozen inspirational pictures on the beige walls. Those other people we're in the room. Talking and wringing their hands and praying for him to pull through. To pull through. To pull through? For what? More misery? More pain? We were allowed to go back two at a time. I guess those other people did. I walked back alone.

As I approached the room, I heard the beeps and drones and whines of the equipment. There he was, in a what they call a coma, he was unresponsive and kept alive via life support.

He was almost naked, spare the hospital gown over his genitals. The wires and tubes and leads and IV's and tape and made it clear about what would happen, sooner than later. I wanted to speak but all I did was weep. After a few minutes, I summoned the strength to hold his hand and move my lips very close to his ear. I recall my words pretty vividly.

" Dad, it's your time to go. You have done your work here on this Earth. You did the best you could in this life. Don't hold on. There's no need to wait out this misery any longer. I love you. Many people love you. Somewhere out there, your loved ones are waiting. Your sons are waiting. Go Dad. Just go. This is your permission". I could barely get those words out between my sobs, but I managed to do so.

There layed the man, who in his heyday was a tall strong man. He was hilarious, hard working and dedicated. Now he looked like a cyborg in a lab. I had the opportunity to share what was in my heart with him. I did my best to give him hope and comfort. As awful as this sounds, I wanted him to pass. Fuck this room Dad, I thought to myself, get out of here, just go.

I returned to the room with those other people, still talking and crying and drinking coffee. He needed to go, I screamed in my mind, to leave this mortal coil forever.

Dad expired around 15 minutes later. I didn't shed a single tear. I was secretly elated. He was finally free. Those other people cried. 'There's your miracle', I thought to myself.

From the cradle to the grave. The painting above is an ode to the symphony of the same name. ( see text above). We are born and we die. Some die far too early. Some, on the battlefield. Others in times of darkness and violence. Some during childbirth. Some in the ICU on a Sunday morning.

Dad grew up DIRT poor. I don't think he had a proper cradle. Three days later, he would have a proper grave. As I walked outside to smoke, I heard a lullaby playing on the hospital intercom, which is played when a baby is born. I secretly hoped those other people didn't hear it. It was my lullaby, and this is my story, and it belongs to me and nobody else.

My hope was that that the lullaby baby had a proper cradle. That he is loved, has grown up healthy and happy. Hopefully this baby wouldn't lose two sons, his health, his livelihood, three marriages and wouldn't die hooked up to more machinery than NASA needs to launch a satellite into orbit.

Lullaby baby is almost 20 now. My father has been gone almost 20 years. Do I think my whispers in Dad's ear granted him permission to go? I know he heard me, I'm positive he did. I don't know much about what they call a coma, but in my heart I know he heard every word. I'm not sure if those other people wanted him to pass, but I did. From the cradle to the grave, it's really all we're promised, the cradle and the grave. It is my sincere belief that the grave can sometimes be as much of a precious gift as the cradle.

This is my story and mine alone. Those other people were present but this is not their story. Also, their stories are not important to me. This was my story until today. But today this becomes our story, and ours alone.

***EE***

[reyskyber]

isla i'm so excited to read all the fluff you write from these! you're an amazing writer and these are all adorable and most of all i hope you have fun with it ♥ could you write one for 13 please?? maybe with 45? can i ask for combos or is that just greedy lol

Lindsay thank you so much for sending this, I was so close to flinging my laptop out of the window because nothing was flowing properly.  But then I started writing this and everything felt right again, so I really hope you enjoy reading it because I enjoyed writing it!

As always, this ran away with me so enjoy ~2.5k of bellarke being dorks.

13. “Keep it.”45. “If I kiss you right now, I won’t be able to stop.”

Clarke stepped into Grounders,the only good nightclub Arkadia had, and she was immediately greeted with warmair hitting her face.  Thankfully, she’dprepared for the club to be hot (like it always was on a Friday night) andshe’d dressed in a light tank top and jeans. She scoped the club and broke into a grin as she saw her friends.

The music thumped around her andpeople thrashed on the dancefloor.  Sheswerved to avoid being hit in the face by someone’s arms a few times, buteventually made her way safely across the dancefloor to the booth that herfriends were occupying.  

“So, are we celebrating ordrowning our sorrows?”  Clarke askedRaven when she reached them.

“Celebrating!”  Raven shouted over the music as she liftedanother shot up.  She didn’t wait foranyone else to join her before she threw it back.  Clarke shook her head and laughed at herfriend.

After university, many of herfriends had gone straight into jobs.  Butnot Raven, she’d gone on to a masters and then a PhD.  So at the ripe old age of twenty-five, shewas only just applying for post-graduate jobs. She’d had her last job interview that morning and she’d already gotoffers from all of them.  Clarke wasn’teven worried that Raven wouldn’t get a job; she was awesome.

Cheers erupted around the tableas her friends joined in on the row of shots. Clarke smiled as she watched Monty wince at the tequila and she sawJasper clap Miller on the back as they put the shot glasses down.

Bellamy caught her attention(when didn’t he?) and he moved over so she could sit next to him at the end ofthe booth.  

“I thought you hated ithere?”  She asked, raising a brow at himas she squeezed into the booth.

“No, Clarke,” he said, turning toface her with a smirk.  “I hate working here.”  Clarke rolled her eyes at him.  He let his arm rest over the back of thebooth and Clarke was forced to press herself against his side so she didn’tfall off the edge of the booth (not that she minded).

Clarke wasn’t sure when sherealised her crush on Bellamy was more than a dumb crush.  They’d been part of the same friendship groupfor over five years after they all got paired together for a social studiesgroup project in senior year of college. Clarke and Bellamy had argued like hell during the project, both of themwanting to lead the team and having very different views on how to go about it(“Whatever the hell we want is not astable basis for a governing body, Bellamy!”). Somehow, they’d worked things out and come to a compromise in time forthe project deadline – much to the entire group’s relief.  Afterwards, they’d all agreed to go forcelebratory drinks and that was the start of their mismatched friendship group.

Somewhere between drinks five andsix on that first night, Clarke and Bellamy put aside their differences anddecided they’d try being friends.  Turnsout, without the stress of a project worth 40% of their final grade loomingover their heads, they actually agreed on a lot of stuff.  

And things were great.  Clarke had a wonderful set of friends and shegraduated alongside them and got a great job that she loved.  And then her heart got in the way and ruinedit; at some point she’d gotten a crush on Bellamy Blake.  She was so angry at herself, Bellamy was oneof her best friends and she didn’t want to mess it up by admitting she’ddeveloped feelings for him.  She couldn’teven call it a crush anymore, it was way past that.  

She shook her head and shovedthose thoughts away, she was here to celebrate Raven getting a job, not wallowin the fact she was half-way in love with her best friend.

Her best friend whose side shewas currently pressed up against.  

“You really should talk Gina intogetting bigger booths,” she said, leaning up to shout in Bellamy’s ear over themusic.  He snapped his gaze to hers andburst out laughing.  She gave him aquizzical look.  She realised what itsounded like she’d said and felt herself got red.

“Booths!”  She said with a laugh.

“Oh,” Bellamy said, stilllaughing.  After they calmed down theysettled into a comfortable silence. Raven was telling them all how the interview went for the third time andClarke smiled over at how happy and carefree her friend was.  Raven dealt well with the stress of doing aPhD, but it still got to her, especially with her chronic leg and backpain.  Clarke felt her heart swell withpride for her friend as she recounted the look on the interviewer’s face whenthey found out she’d worked with NASA when she was just sixteen.

“Come on,” Bellamy said right inher ear, causing her to jump and a shiver to run down her spine.  “Let’s get a drink.”

Clarke hummed in agreement andmade her way out of the booth.  

She gestured to Raven that theywere heading to the bar and she gave them a wink and a thumbs up., beforeturning back to their other friends.  Clarkerolled her eyes.  She may have vented to Raven about herfeelings for Bellamy a couple of months ago, and now Raven was being insufferableabout the whole thing; always sending her knowing looks and winking wheneverClarke and Bellamy were together.

Bellamy slid out of the booth andshe gestured for him to lead the way; he was taller and less likely to getelbowed in the face by people dancing.

The bass was thumping heavily asthey made their way to the bar.  At onepoint, Bellamy held his hand out for her as the crowd got thicker.  She took it without hesitation and tried notthink about how well their hands fit together. Bellamy didn’t drop her hand as they emerged from the throng of peopleand Clarke couldn’t stop herself from smiling.

They reached the bar, stillholding hands, and Bellamy gestured for one of the bar staff.  Since he worked here while he saved up forhis PhD, Bellamy knew all the bar staff pretty well, and so it didn’t take longfor one of them to make their way over.  

Echo came to their end of the barand shot them both a smile.  Clarkesmiled back politely.  She liked Echo (shedid), but she couldn’t help the pang of jealousy that went through her when shesaw Echo flirting with Bellamy when they were together.

“What do you want?”  Bellamy said in her ear.  She jumped slightly, not realising they’dbeen stood that close.  Somehow, she’dended up squeezed between Bellamy and the bar, with him pressed up behindher.  She tried, and failed, to stop herface from heating up but it was difficult when all her senses were flooded withBellamy and his voice sounded gruff in her ear – it all made her head spin alittle.

“Uh,” Clarke cleared her throat,she turned so she could see his face. “Surprise me,” she said with a grin.  Bellamy raised an eyebrow as a silentquestion.  She shrugged in return, shewas feeling adventurous.

“What can I get you?”  Echo asked after she’d served the people nextto them.

“Can I get two cherry bombsplease?”  Bellamy said politely, she feltthe vibrations of his chest on her back and she subconsciously shivered againsthim.  God,she was so screwed, she thought with a slight grimace.

Echo nodded and got to workmaking the drinks.  She placed them bothon the bar and Clarke started to take her purse out.

“I’ve got these,” Bellamysaid.  Clarke opened her mouth to arguebut Bellamy gave her a stern look over her shoulder.  She closed her mouth, knowing it was a lostcause.  Bellamy handed the cash over toEcho.

“Fine,” she replied.  “But I’m getting the next round.”  Bellamy grinned and picked up their twodrinks, handing one to Clarke.

“Thank you,” she replied, takinga sip.  It was a burst of frozen cherrywith just the right amount of vodka.

“Oh wow,” Clarke exclaimed.  “This is amazing!”

“I’m always right, Clarke,”Bellamy said, flashing a grin at her before taking a sip of his own drink.  Clarke rolled her eyes and shoved himslightly.  She bit her lip to stop hersmile from spreading.

“Come on.”  Bellamy grabbed her hand again and started tolead her back towards their friends.

“Bellamy!”  Echo called after them.  “Your change?”

“Keep it!”  He called back over his shoulder.  He led Clarke back towards the booth wheretheir friends had somehow got more shots ordered to the table.

A few drinks later, and Clarkewas feeling the buzz of the shots and cocktails flow around her body.  She was practically leaning on Bellamy, buthe didn’t seem to mind.  She let herselfenjoy it and she’d be mad at herself tomorrow.

“Where did Raven go?”  Monty asked as he came back from the bar.

“Dancing.”  Bellamy and Clarke answered in unison.  Monty looked towards the dancefloor andnodded before sliding back into his seat next to Miller.  Clarke thought they were looking very cosy,but didn’t comment given how close her and Bellamy were sat at the moment.

Bellamy shifted and Clarke movedto sit up on her own, leaning back into the leather booth rather than onBellamy.

“You know what?”  Bellamy said, Clarke shot him a quizzicallook.  “We need to dance.”

Clarke stifled a laugh, Bellamyonly ever wanted to dance when he was fairly tipsy and it was one of herfavourite things about their group outings.

“Okay,” Clarke agreed, getting upout of the booth.  She swayed slightly asthe alcohol rushed to her head.  Bellamystood next to her and placed his hands on her waist to steady her.

“You okay?”  He asked, concern crossing his features.

“Yeah,” Clarke managed to get out,and if her face went slightly red it was only because the room was making her verywarm.  Bellamy smiled at her and sherealised just how close they were standing. She cleared her throat and stepped out of his arms before she didsomething stupid like kiss him.

Clarke led the way to thedancefloor and they soon found the others. Jasper was simultaneously chatting and dancing with Maya andHarper.  Raven on the other hand, wasgetting very close with one of the other regulars, Clarke tried to remember hisname, Zeke maybe?  Clarke blushed andlooked away as Raven pulled him down for a kiss, she was really happy for herfriend, Zeke seemed really nice and it was great to see Raven let loose.

Bellamy led Clarke away fromtheir friends and further into the crowds of dancing people.  They started dancing to the music.  It was quite a fast song and Clarke couldn’thelp but laugh out loud as Bellamy swayed trying to keep in time with thebeat.  He held out his hand and twirledher around until she was dizzy, like she was a kid again, and Clarke felt herstomach muscles hurts from laughing so much.

She’d not felt this happy in solong.  Out on the dancefloor, it was easyto forget all the stress of work and her mother, and everything else.  With Bellamy, everything else fell away andit was just them enjoying the moment.

A body shoved into her frombehind and she fell forwards.  Luckily,Bellamy was coordinated enough to catch her before she fell.  The drunk guy that had pushed her mumbled aslurred apology and Clarke waved him off.

“Are you alright?”  Bellamy asked, his eyes scanning her.  He reached a hand up to tuck a strand of herhair behind her ear that had fallen out of her ponytail.

“I’m fine,” she told him with asmile.  His features softened instantly.  She felt his warm breath fan her face and sherealised just how close they were standing for the second time that evening.

The music continued to blast andpeople were still bustling around them, but Clarke couldn’t even begin to careabout that.  Everything else fell awayand all she could see was Bellamy.

His tongue darted out to wet hislips and her gaze dropped as he did so. She felt a blush crawl up her cheeks as her gaze slowly made its wayback up to his brown eyes, worried he’d noticed her staring.  

(He had.)

He was staring at her veryintensely and Clarke felt herself grow warm all over.  Her lips parted and she realised he waslooking at her with need.

“If I kiss you right now, I won’tbe able to stop,” he told her and she felt her mouth go dry.

Throwing caution to the wind, shereached up and grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him down towards herand capturing his lips with hers.

Bellamy snapped into actionalmost immediately, pulling her closer with one arm, while his hand caressedher face.  Clarke leant into him and feltherself sigh contently.  She let herhands wind around his neck to thread her fingers in his hair, it was slightlydamp with sweat from dancing, but Clarke couldn’t care less.

“I’ve wanted to do that forages,” he admitted after they broke apart, foreheads pressed together.

“How long?”  Clarke asked, biting her lip.

“Probably, since we met,” Bellamyadmitted with a shrug and Clarke felt herself laugh.

Bellamy grinned before capturingher lips again.  The kiss was messy, bothof them smiling too much, but it was perfect all the same.

           Jasper Jordan had added you to the group “GUYSSSSS!!!”

Jasper:GUYYYYSSSS!!!

Raven:Jaaper, wtf???PS soz am druuunk

Jasper:It’s okay, Raven.But guyyyys!!!!!

Nathan Miller has left the group.

Monty:Jasper, it’s nearly 2AM, wtf?

                 Jasper Jordan added NathanMiller to the group.

Jasper:Miller!  This is important.

Harper:Jasper, come on.We all want to go to bed, what’s so important?

Jasper:Well, I’ve gathered you all here…

Raven:JASOER, I SWEAAR TI GOD!

                                       Nathan Miller left the group.

                        Jasper Jordan added NathanMiller to the group.

Jasper:Miller please!!! This isimportant!!

Miller:Ugh, what?!

Jasper:[one image attached]

Raven:Is that?!

Jasper:YES!!!!!!

Miller:So they finally pulled theirheads out of their asses.

Jasper:Bellarke is canon!!!

Raven:Rlly wish u’d stop callin themtht

Monty:Can we go to bed now?

Raven:“We”????

Monty:*blushing emoji*

                                  Monty Green has left the group.

                                  Nathan Miller has left the group.

Jasper:I KNEW IT!!!

#bellarke #fanfic #the 100 #the 100 fanfic #mywriting #prompt fills #drunk raven was insp by my terrible typing at all time #at one point i didn't even try to mispell anything and that happened soooo #hope you liked it <3 #the-most-beautiful-broom #asks