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#I hope my government will respond responsibly to your suffering
abla-soso · 6 months
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So I have seen your Israel vs Palestine posts. I don't know much about the conflict so I have been doing some research on the history and watching some news coverage.
I admit that I am slightly biased for Israel but there is so much information that it is hard to tell truth from lies. Israel says they want to eliminate Hamas but I don't understand how bombing Palestine is supposed to do this. I mean I don't think the Nazis were defeated by just bombing German towns. That makes no sense.
I want your take on this:
What is your ideal solution to this conflict?
After the attacks on Israel, how you would have preferred Israel to respond?
What is your opinion on Hamas and how they got elected into power?
How would you respond to people who disapprove of Palestinians on the news not condemning Hamas' attacks?
@fanfic-lover-girl
Hello. Sorry it took me so long to answer, but I've been mentally and emotionally drained by what's happening in Gaza. I'm glad you're willing to learn the truth and I hope you commit to it no matter how difficult it is to unlearn years of propaganda. The fact that you're open-minded and decent enough to admit your ignorance and your biases is a positive sign for growth.
I hope you've read my latest Palestine posts because they pretty much answered all of your questions, but I will try to summarize them as best as I can:
This genocide was never about Hamas. It was always about ethnically cleansing the land from Palestinians and turning the legally recognized Palestinian territories into Israeli ones. Israeli officials have publically stated this. There is no Hamas in the West Bank, yet the Palestinians there are still been bombed. Israel has been slaughtering and ethnically cleansing the Palestinians since 1948. That's 40 years before Hamas ever existed. Hamas existed as a response to Israel's state terrorism. Israel is using "fighting Hamas" as an excuse to justify its war crimes.
The ideal solution is justice. Peace can not happen without justice. The apartheid of Israel must end. The brutal occupation and military dictatorship must end. The genocidally racist government and ethnostate of Israel must be dismantled. Palestinians should get back their basic human rights. Zionists - whether they were Jews or Arabs - must be kicked out, because the defeated colonizers can NOT peacefully co-exist with the newly freed population and they'll always be a danger. Non-zionist Jews are welcome to stay as full citizens and they're allowed to call freed Palestine their home.
Hamas - like any freedom fighters group aiming for liberation from brutal tyranny - is certainly flawed and some of its methods can be problematic. But it's not a religiously extremist group. It's not a terrorist group. They're not aiming to kill all Jews or whatever bullshit Israeli propaganda spews. Their only enemy is the armed zionists. Do they care about Israeli citizens? No, not really. Hamas as a group does not systematically aim to kill or torture Israeli civilians (their humane treatment of the Israeli hostages should be clear proof of that), but they don't care if some Hamas members lash out on their own. They don't view Israeli citizens as innocent civilians, and I can't blame them. Not when ALL of these "civilians" have worked in the Israeli military (because military service is mandatory in Israel) and are actively and directly supporting the genocide of Palestinians. Most of Hamas members are deeply traumatized orphans who suffer from unimaginable oppression every single day. I can't condemn them when they lash out. Just as I can't condemn Nelson Mendiola (who was labeled a terrorist for using armed resistance). Just as I can't condemn the Native Americans who raged many wars against their colonizers. Just as I can't condemn the freed slaves in Haiti who massacred their white slavers during the slave revolution. I can objectively find some of their actions unjustifiable (mainly if they deliberately targeted children) but no one has any right to condemn them.
I'd tell them it's pretty fucking shitty to focus on the oppressed when they lash out at their oppressors, and it's even more shitty to condemn them for not being passive victims. I'd ask them: Why is no pro-Israel person being asked to condemn Israel's war crimes on the news? Why are they equating the violence done by the oppressive colonizers with the violence done by the colonized who are trying to be free?
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hachama · 1 year
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Hi there!! Fellow Jew here (though largely unobservant), new follower. I love your blog and I’ve already saved your matzoh ball soup recipe (cuz my Bubbe’s is meant to feed like 20 people).
I know this is a heavy question so forgive me, but I’m so tired of feeling like sticking up for our people in any way is supporting Israel’s tyranny. What do we say??? What do we say to the people who want every Jew displaced from their home with nowhere to go? There is so much misinformation on the Palestine/Israel issue and I don’t even know where to start.
…unrelated but also do you have a good fried matzah recipe?
Thank you regardless of your ability to answer these questions. Depending on when you see this message, Shabbat Shalom!
I do not have a good fried matzo recipe, I'm afraid.
As for I/P... how you respond depends on what you're hoping to accomplish.
If you're trying to change someone's mind, who is already effectively calling for the expulsion or genocide of millions of Jews, there is nothing you can say. I don't want to say it's impossible. When you encounter someone who is committed to interpreting what you say in the worst possible light, the best thing to do is stop talking. No useful communication is going to take place.
If you're trying to find the words to explain your perspective to yourself or a loved one, that's a little easier. Palestinians are our cousins, and many of them have been lied to by people invested in keeping our peoples in conflict. Many have suffered because of the actions of the IDF or settlers. There's a lot of fear and anger from Israelis and Palestinians, and both groups have cause to be angry and afraid.
But acknowledging that millions of Jews in Israel would have nowhere else to go if Israel were dissolved shouldn't be controversial, and speaking against antisemitism in the rest of the world shouldn't be controversial. If people are demonstrating outside a synagogue because of their feelings regarding Israel, they're not helping Palestinians. They're just hurting Jews. An American (or Canadian, or British, or French, or...) Jew is not responsible for the actions of the Israeli government, or individual Israelis.
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madrasi · 8 months
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Hi I know you didn’t mean any ill intentions, but that otter “pet” is an example of exotic wildlife pets. Otters aren’t domesticated or anything so they suffer a lot when they’re taken from their natural environments and trapped in a house. There’s also a lot of illegal trade that goes on to support the demand of exotic pets, such as stealing baby animals from their home environment. They don’t thrive and often are mistreated, not fed the correct diet, and die young. I know it seems really cute and happy, and even exotic pets are legal in a lot of places, but the animals are not thriving and doing well. Sharing media of exotic pets being cute just proliferates the idea and encourages others to try and get one. They’re just as cute in their natural environment. There are other ways we can support these animals other than trapping them all alone in an unnatural environment like a house. I don’t mean to flood your inbox or police you, just want to spread some info. I hope you can understand my POV. Thank you for taking the time to read this!!!
Hi Anon. Thank you for taking the time to compose and send me this message. I respect and value your concerns, particularly since I share your love and admiration for animals of all kinds.
I acknowledge and thank that you don’t believe I’m being hateful with intention. But I wonder if reblogging an otter in my personal space is necessarily promoting any idea that exotic animals should be adopted without regard to their basic needs. It might be the simpler alternative: otters are cute. I shared this content with that intention- that too, on the only platform where I’m not posting to necessarily reach an audience, as opposed to someplace more direct, like instagram or Facebook.
I’ve been on this platform for more than ten years. In this time I have, and continue to notice, the violently racist, misogynistic, abusive, and otherwise prejudiced content that is reblogged and shared specifically to promote hateful ideals. I wonder if you take the time to call out every nazi or violently abusive porn blog that uses this platform to promote and share abuse and hate? Because there are a lot.
In that respect, your call-out is policing of a certain kind. Do you flag YouTube blogs where people openly adopt, film, or mistreat exotic animals? Did you report Tiger King when it was aflame on Netflix? Have you reached out to your government to better the laws in your country regarding the adoption and treatment of animals within your country- including for cases of hoarding of domestic pets? And, are you questioning the 33 thousand other users who reblogged this post?
I’m responding and posting this message because I want your background alongside my opinion on the matter to be displayed side-by-side. Again, I respect that you reached out about this because I share your ideals. However, I don’t believe your message fairly reflects my intentions, actions, or the audience intent if someone were to see that post on my blog.
I’d like to add that my tag of choice is “baby”, rather than “pets”- or anything else that implies collectibility, tokenism, or abuse. Because this space is for me to share in my respect and love. Please note that this post is also tagged “baby” so that anyone who may peruse this tag understands my opinions on these matters
I hope this response assuages you, and sets my intentions clearly.
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pikahlua · 2 years
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One thing about anon asks is a character limit. For the sake o brevity nuance suffers. Anon asking about killing Tomura may be biased, but is not wrong for asking that question. It could be that asks focuses on Izuku, Ochako and Shouto because they were the ones shown as discussing saving villains. At the same time - hadn't Nana's vestige suggest that her grandson is beyond saving? Don't these kids live in an universe where government assassins (Nagant) exist? Hawks didn't save Jin. 1/3
Neither you nor that previous anon hit the character limit, so I'm forced to assume at least they conveyed the message they intended to. (I hope your next two responses didn't get eaten by Tumblr, but it's been a while since you sent this so I'm guessing that's what happened. Sorry, but I can only respond to these points you've made so far.)
I don't think I ever said the anon was wrong for asking a question about whether the heroes want to kill Tomura? In fact I'm pretty sure I said they raised enough good points that I thought I was obligated to address them. I even afforded the anon the benefit of the doubt at the end of my post warning them that if this "trio" meaning was not their intention that their language unfortunately made it sound that way.
Nana's vestige suggests Tomura is beyond saving as a test of Izuku's resolve. She openly explains that by the end of the conversation. She seems pretty damn relieved that Izuku still wants to try to save Tenko after that, and the other vestiges offer Izuku their support for his resolve to save.
I grant you all the things you've said that are true. I just don't see any evidence in the text that these factors have swayed any of the students to distrust their mentors. None of those things change All Might's feelings or behavior as we've seen him represented, and, again, he's a major orchestrator of this plan. We've seen characters like Nagant and Hawks become convinced by the students' perspectives in fact. So, I don't see why Izuku or anyone else would go along with a plan to kill a villain when they expressly desire to save that villain instead. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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shammah8 · 27 days
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"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
James 1:27
JOY IN THE MORNING
God’s love compels us to feed the hungry, empower the poor, defend the weak and help those who are suffering. When we do these things, it includes encouraging and strengthening those persecuted for their faith in Christ. The Church has often led the way in education and medical services in developing countries until governments or other local agencies take over.
 
Brother Andrew says that giving humanitarian aid is a picture of Jesus knocking at the door of our hearts (our lives) in Revelation chapter three. The doors of many hearts in the Church are closed to acts of mercy and love in action. Therefore, Jesus stands knocking at the door of our hearts asking that we open that door and let Him in. His coming into our lives enables us to do acts of love. “They killed my husband before my very own eyes. As if that wasn’t enough, they destroyed everything by burning down our house including my dear husband’s workshop.” These were the words of Esther, the widow whose husband was killed by jihadists in Nigeria in January 2010.
 
For the mother of seven, life became unbearable. The house that her children called home no longer existed and the daunting absence of an income was an inevitable reality. To worsen their circumstances, the in-laws abandoned Esther and her children. Surrounded by walls of a room too small for eight people, depression threatened to overshadow her and Esther cried night and day, asking God for a way out.
 
She truly needed a shoulder to lean on. A friend told us her story and from there Open Doors provided financial support for this family. As a result the family was able to move into an apartment in a Christian area, with enough room for everyone. The new home lent enough space for Esther to even start working from home. She is a tailor by profession and hopes to rent a shop in the near future.
 
Esther thought it wise to take some of the money and start a vegetable garden on a small scale. The idea is to feed her family and at the same time generate an income from it. She is confident that her vegetable business will grow to the point where she will be able to send the children to school.
 
“If Open Doors had not come to my aid,” Esther concluded with tears, “what would have become of me and my children? For all I know, we all would have been dead, either by the hands of Jihadists or hunger. As for my husband’s killers—though it’s been difficult—through your prayers and encouragement I’ve been able to forgive them.”
Response
Today I will live in awareness of those around me needing help and respond appropriately.
Prayer
Lord, give me Your compassion for people in need. May I be an agent of Your love today.
© 2013 Open Doors International. Used by permission.
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duaneburnett · 1 year
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WATER - The time is now! It will come as no surprise that everyone I talk to wants more water available this summer – it remains at the top of their list of priorities.
We are fortunate that there is lots of water available up and down the Coast. But how do we get it?
I’m pleased to provide my personal view of the actions we need to take to meet our immediate needs and to provide water for decades to come.
THE SHORT TERM SOLUTIONS First, we must drill a well on District of Sechelt land on Dusty Road in East Porpoise Bay, immediately. Such a well is affordable and it could produce significantly more volume of water than the SCRD hopes to get from the soon-to-be completed Church Road well near Grantham’s Landing.
Second, I understand that our shíshálh friends and neighbours are considering providing some water from wells located on their Lehigh mine site to the SCRD. I hope they will be able to do so as we can never have enough water. Also, it’s a great example of our communities working together to benefit everyone!
For the Dusty Road well, I ask - what are we waiting for? The SCRD studied this about three years ago but chose to not proceed, for reasons that I, and many experts, feel are flawed. For example, test drilling was stopped at 275 feet despite plans to drill deeper. Concerns were raised about contamination risks and about the potential for future industrial developments in the area.
It is my contention that any such risks are miniscule and entirely manageable – especially when compared to the very real costs to our community from suffering through water shortages in the future. Also, if the well is impacted by developments in the decades to come, we can simply shut it down at that time. What matters is that we will have had water between now and then (by which time, we must have implemented the long-term solutions.)
To me, this is an emergency and we must act immediately. I know drillers who are ready to go. I plan to meet with the BC minister responsible for water management in the coming weeks to confirm that we will be proceeding with this plan and to seek his cooperation so we can get the Dusty Road Well into operation within six months.
THE LONG TERM SOLUTIONS For decades, we have heard ideas and possible solutions, yet here we are, still, without a long-term plan.
Whether it is sourcing water from Clowhom or Sakinaw Lakes, increasing the height of the dam at Chapman Lake, connecting to Pender Harbour’s water system, building reservoirs, drilling more wells, or reducing the environmental flow needs (EFN) in Chapman Creek, solutions abound.
Sourcing water is something done around the world by experts. So, let’s invite the world to bring their expertise and recommendations to us! Let’s get the most innovative and sustainable solution possible – it’s the right thing to do.
I believe the best way to proceed is for us to have a Water Supply Solutions Team comprised of volunteers, experts and local government staff. We are fortunate to have industry experts who live here on the Coast, in addition to our very capable staff. This Team will be charged with outlining our needs and opportunities and reaching out to qualified companies to provide us with their proposed solutions. I believe it is reasonable for the Team to complete this work in the first half of this year, then give industry the second half of the year to respond. This means we could be in a position to assess and select the best solutions before the end of 2023!
I am honoured that you elected me to be your Mayor, giving me the opportunity to deliver solutions and get things done. I want to assure you, that I take this responsibility very seriously. My view is that Stage 4 – and even Stage 3 – restrictions are unacceptable. These have done real harm to our residents, businesses and visitors in recent years.
Of course, I realize that this is an aggressive approach - but the fact is, this is an emergency. We don’t need studies, we don’t need surveys, we don’t need approvals. We need water and we need it now.
In the coming two weeks, I will present the above to the SCRD Board and to the District of Sechelt Council for their consideration. My hope is that everyone will embrace the opportunity to get into action, without delay.
Sincerely John R. Henderson, Mayor, District of Sechelt.
Questions? Suggestions? Send them to me at [email protected]
John Henderson for Sechelt
POSTED to Sunshine Coast BC Canada 🇨🇦 Facebook Page
sechelt #water #sunshinecoastcanada #sunshinecoast #sunshinecoastbc #mayor #johnhenderson #SCRD
— in Sechelt, British Columbia.
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gtinvestukraineblog · 2 years
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Congratulations on the Independence Day of Ukraine From a Friend GT Invest
Today, August 24, Ukraine celebrates the 31st anniversary of its independence. David Soley sent congratulations to Ukraine and our nation. Reprinted verbatim with the permission of the author
To Ukraine and the World, August 24, 2022, Independence Day
Written by David Soley
Ukrainians you are showing the world your greatness, courageous compassion, and desire for victory, peace, and freedom. What other nation and its people in today’s world would rise up within hours waiting in long lines for days with great desire, to serve their country. Actors, athletes, business directors, global soldiers, factory workers, secretaries, retail workers, doctors and care staff, truck drivers, warehouse professionals, technology people, bartenders, hair stylists, and so many others rose up and are serving Ukraine and servicing world democracy. Due to great leadership Ukrainians are accomplishing great triumphs on the battlefield. They are also experiencing tragedies every day; they are also suffering war’s hell.
Yet the surprise Ukrainian attack and their effective response to such a malicious attack on them has captured the hearts and minds of the world. Ukraine is showing the world it is a great nation and defender of democracy. In response World Leaders must increase their respond by providing significant material support, so this war quickly ends. On August 24, 2022, as one of many hundreds of millions of people around the world, I express my deep desire each Ukrainian experiences a blessed Independence Day. The world desires a complete Ukrainian victory.
It is with special honor and respect as an ordinary American citizen and a very small voice from the world, I acknowledge to all Ukrainians my support and love to each of you on August 24, 2022. To each of you this year’s Independence Day is especially special and important. Ukrainians are defending freedom on August 24, 2022.
As an outsider and just a world citizen I respectfully hope that each of you are able to celebrate Ukrainian Independence Day in safe protection experiencing the goodness of family, friends, work associates, and people you know with God providing favor. Show careful judgment on Independence Day. Each of you is providing a special and vital role, helping Ukraine secure freedom and build a sustainable democracy.
Ukrainian freedom is important not only to Ukraine, they protecting democratic free will and self– determination for every free nation. Therefore World Leaders, Rise Up.....increase your support with increased armaments and material and financial provisions. European Leaders, increasing your support you are defending your people and their sovereignty.
Freedom must be cherished, and the human rights associated with freedom cannot not be violated. Any nation inflicting their will on another nation causing or creating harm on innocent citizens and property must be dealt with a harsh and destructive response. Countries inflicting
To Ukraine and the World, August 24, 2022, Independence Day David Soley Copyright © 2022 1
such evil must suffer the severe consequences. Their leaders must be brought to court and judged by Ukraine and the world, severely punished for their actions.
To quickly end this awful war, World Leaders push your other agendas aside, Rise Up and serve Ukraine. World Leaders, Ukrainians are serving on the front lines sacrificing their blood. Ukrainian citizens are serving in government, helping in hospitals, cities, communities, in business, factories, or in social service servicing their country and home front while their soldiers fight a war. Rise Up, increase your support for Ukraine. Supporting Ukraine, you are possibly preventing future harm on your own people and property. Rise Up, support Ukraine, allow freedom to shift from vison to final outcome.
Unfortunately, sadness lingers; Ukrainians continue to suffer. Ukrainians have lost family members, friends, homes, possessions, and their workplaces. I cannot begin to imagine and think of such terrible loss. All I can say is I give my love and heartfelt thoughts and prayers to each of you. I am sorry......I am really sorry. Nations who fight for their freedom regrettably pay for their freedom in blood, anguish, painful personal events, and property loss. Yet the cost must be made so Ukraine’s government is preserved, and its people remain free. World Leaders support Ukraine, the Ukrainian people have lost so much in just a short time.
In helping each Ukrainian adjust and live their best lives I like to share a personal core value I created as an afterthought following a near death experience a year and half ago. It is called Rule Number 5. Rule Number 5 should be everyone’s intended purpose in life.
I came up with this idea from watching NCIS, one of the best TV shows in America. NCIS, Naval Criminal Investigative Service is a 1–Hour criminal–oriented TV show. In the show, Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs (Mark Harmon a great actor and in real life a solid American) leads a group of colorful personalities in investigating crimes--ranging from murder and espionage to terrorism--that have evidence connected to Navy and Marine Corps personnel and national security. (NCIS overview found on Google Search)
In each hour–long series Gibbs (everyone is referred to by their last name) introduces particular rules such as Rule Number 10. Each rule is aligned or related to a specific action required for a certain kind of situation. The rule helps everyone stay focused on accomplishing particular tasks or honoring those who are solving a crime or improving one’s life experience.
This show had an impact on one of my personal life experiences. I nearly died one and half years ago. During this timeframe I had a serious uncommon illness (non-cancer, not COVID, or heart issue). In a matter of weeks my internal system was shutting down. I was given about a 12% to 15% chance of surviving, my doctor said I was a medical freak for being alive at the most serious time of my illness. Fortunately, I quickly got better. As I reflected back at my life following this illness, I realized I had to rearrange my life priorities. I came up with Rule Number 5. Rule Number 5 is as follows:
1. God and Country are Number 1. We honor and serve God. Country can be your country or a country where the call for defense of freedom or human need requires immediate response. 2. Family and their best long–term interests is Number 2 in priority.
To Ukraine and the World, August 24, 2022, Independence Day David Soley Copyright © 2022 2
3. People who serve you in the community as well as friends and people in your workplace as well as their best interests are Number 3 4. People you do not know or never see are Number 4. However, they become Number 2 when they are threatened or endangered. 5. You are Number 5. Your personal agendas can be served as long as they do not violate the first four rules.
Rule Number 5 enables any individual to help and serve others. In times of need with any life circumstance, Rule Number 5 is the difference maker in solving any life issue. At the core level heart–to–heart connections are being made generating goodness for all. Recognizing and responding to someone or a group of people’s personal anguish or issue with heart–to– heart comfort reduces the pain. The healing and restoration process begins. More important Rule Number 5 begins the relationship development process between individuals, groups of people, or nations.
Unfortunately, the Ukrainian war is creating many kinds of suffering for may Ukrainians. Opportunities to help and be a caring partner must be made to those who have need and those who will always need assistance. Yet at the same time efforts must be made to uplift those who have experienced war’s hell. They also want to have personal independence. A welcoming and sincere presence must be made to each individual and groups affected by the war. It is at these moments love from heart–to–heart connections have the greatest impact for both individuals and groups. The best way to start is creating a friendly presence and just saying hi. The best way for all of us to respond is to serve and provide our best to Ukraine. It is time for the world to help Ukraine’s people experience Ukrainian Freedom.
May August 24, 2022, be a day of honor and remembrance for those who have fallen and represent leadership in motion toward a victorious outcome. Lord God as the fighting continues, increases the level of understanding within the Ukrainian military. Guide Ukrainian military leaders in uncovering new pathways and defining proper movements. Allow new movements to create imbalances within the enemy ranks.
Ukrainians desire the sound of silence and the gentle winds of peace to be felt by all. In time happiness will be felt as families and their children share their laughter and love to one another. Loving connections and generous gifts of goodness among Ukrainians and world citizens occur across valleys and slops of Ukraine. The world will cherish each of these living moments. World Leaders continue your material support for Ukraine
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Glory to Ukraine! Glory to Heroes!
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carolap53 · 2 years
Text
JOY IN THE MORNING Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27
God’s love compels us to feed the hungry, empower the poor, defend the weak and help those who are suffering. When we do these things, it includes encouraging and strengthening those persecuted for their faith in Christ. The Church has often led the way in education and medical services in developing countries until governments or other local agencies take over.
Brother Andrew says that giving humanitarian aid is a picture of Jesus knocking at the door of our hearts (our lives) in Revelation chapter three. The doors of many hearts in the church are closed to acts of mercy and love in action. Therefore, Jesus stands knocking at the door of our hearts asking that we open that door and let Him in. His coming into our lives enables us to do acts of love.
“They killed my husband before my very own eyes. As if that wasn’t enough, they destroyed everything by burning down our house including my dear husband’s workshop.” These were the words of Esther, the widow whose husband was killed by jihadists in Nigeria in January 2010.
For the mother of seven, life became unbearable. The house that her children called home no longer existed and the daunting absence of an income was an inevitable reality. To worsen their circumstances, the in-laws abandoned Esther and her children. Surrounded by walls of a room too small for eight people, depression threatened to overshadow her and Esther cried night and day, asking God for a way out.
She truly needed a shoulder to lean on. A friend told us her story and from there Open Doors provided financial support for this family. As a result the family was able to move into an apartment in a Christian area, with enough room for everyone. The new home lent enough space for Esther to even start working from home. She is a tailor by profession and hopes to rent a shop in the near future.
Esther thought it wise to take some of the money and start a vegetable garden on a small scale. The idea is to feed her family and at the same time generate an income from it. She is confident that her vegetable business will grow to the point where she will be able to send the children to school.
“If Open Doors had not come to my aid,” Esther concluded with tears, “what would have become of me and my children? For all I know, we all would have been dead, either by the hands of Jihadists or hunger. As for my husband’s killers—though it’s been difficult—through your prayers and encouragement I’ve been able to forgive them.”
RESPONSE: Today I will live in awareness of those around me needing help and respond appropriately.
PRAYER: Lord, give me Your compassion for people in need. May I be an agent of Your love today.
Open Doors Ministry
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fannish-karmiya · 2 years
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The sects are all essentially independent governments. They have a responsibility to investigate for themselves before entering into a war on the say-so of an ally like Lanling Jin or Yunmeng Jiang. Would we accept it if a modern government didn't do their own damn intelligence work and just trusted a foreign power to do it for them?
Furthermore, it's extremely clear in canon that Lan Xichen knew things were off, and he just didn't care.
He's right here in Koi Tower when Wei Wuxian tells us how the Wens are being treated and states that Wen Qing's branch are innocent:
Wei WuXian, “Fine. I don’t mind explaining it in greater detail. You couldn’t catch the bat king and happened to run into a few of the Wen Sect’s disciples who were there to investigate the same thing. And so, you threatened them to carry spirit-attraction flags to be your bait. They didn’t dare do it. One person stepped out and tried to reason with you. That’s the Wen Ning I’m talking about. After some delay, the bat king got away. You beat up the Wen cultivators, took them away by force, and the group disappeared. Do I need to say any more details? They still haven’t returned yet. Apart from you, I don’t know who in the world I could possibly ask.”
[...]
Wei WuXian nodded, “Sect Leader Jin, it was never my intention to disturb your private banquet. My apologies. However, the whereabouts of the people whom Young Master Jin took are still unclear. Just a moment of delay, and it might be too late. One of the group had once saved me before. I will definitely not sit back and watch. Please do not feel pressured. I will make amends for this at a later date.”
[...]
Wei WuXian, “Did I say something wrong? Forcing living people to be bait and beating them up whenever they refused to obey—is this any different from what the QishanWen Sect does?”
[...]
Wei WuXian, “Take revenge on the ones who bite you. Wen Ning’s branch doesn’t have much blood on their hands. Don’t tell me that you find them guilty by association?”
(Chapter 72, Exiled Rebels translation)
Lan Xichen doesn't seem to find any of this concerning at all. He certainly never acts on any of these allegations. And he even says himself that Wen Qing's branch is innocent later in the meeting in Koi Tower after the liberation of Qiongqi Path!
Lan XiChen responded a moment later, “I have heard of Wen Qing’s name a few of times. I do not remember her having participated in any of the Sunshot Campaign’s crimes.”
Nie MingJue, “But she’s never stopped them either.”
Lan XiChen, “Wen Qing was one of Wen RuoHan’s most trusted people. How could she have stopped them?”
Nie MingJue spoke coldly, “If she responded with only silence and not opposition when the Wen Sect was causing mayhem, it’s the same as indifference. She shouldn’t have been so disillusioned as to hope that she could be treated with respect when the Wen Sect was doing evil and be unwilling to suffer the consequences and pay the price when the Wen Sect was wiped out.”
Lan XiChen knew that because of what happened to his father, Nie MingJue abhorred Wen-dogs more than anything, especially with how intolerable he was toward evil. Lan XiChen didn’t say anything else.
(Chapter 73, Exiled Rebels translation)
He just doesn't care enough to make more than a few token protests. Placating Nie Mingjue is more important to him than the lives of the Wens. His friend's feelings are more important to him than innocent lives. You can't say that he's just placating him for now to be diplomatic; he never pursues any of these allegations of abuse against the Wens, and later allows his sect to attend the pledge conference at Nightless City where all the sects gather swearing to massacre Wei Wuxian and the Wens.
Would people be making these excuses in a real life case of ethnic cleansing or genocide? I would hope not, but based on fandom's behaviour...well, I find it raises a very dark mirror to human nature.
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Alright I'm not *entirely* sure I know where I'm going with this but I'm gonna vaguely pull on my previous thought that the Loki series portrays Loki as other people see him to make sense of episode 4
I know some people were upset about how it seemed like the series was agreeing that Loki was a narcissist, so let's explore that, because I don't really think that's the case. In the Sif time loop scene, we see Loki say,
Please, please, no more. Please, I beg you. I'm a horrible person. I get it. I really am. I cut off your hair because I thought it'd be funny. And it's not. Uh... I crave attention... because I'm... (Sighs) I'm a... I'm a narcissist. And I suppose it's... It's because I'm scared of being alone.
He's clearly exhausted and wants the beating to stop. He also knows what Sif thinks of him (helpful that she's been repeating it), so he says what he knows she wants to hear--but here, as with Mobius in episode one, although he is being strategic with what he says, he's also being genuine, at least mostly. He's too drained to do anything else, and he knows it wouldn't work anyway.
Loki absolutely is scared of being alone. That's the core fear he has, which is why he wanted to be Thor's equal--he didn't want to be abandoned or forgotten about (which, coincidentally, is exactly the punishment Odin gives him in TDW...). That's why it's the last thing he says, why he stutters and pauses so much before getting there--and it also happens to be the thing that Sif keeps throwing back at him. By putting it last, he's hoping he won't have to hear it again. Beating her to the punch, per se. (I also think it's interesting that he says he "never thought about it again" after this event happened, but yet it is the one Mobius puts on a loop in order to "soften him up". Clearly, Loki did remember this as a very painful memory--probably because it hits on his deepest fear--and it's effective in exhausting him emotionally, just like the footage of his life was. It's interrogation prep so that he's already vulnerable when he gets to Mobius. But anyways.)
I think he somewhat believes the other things he says, but only because it's been beaten into him so many times. Loki wouldn't think he's a horrible person, but he knows Sif does, and Thor, and Odin, and the Avengers, and Mobius--so maybe he is? This self-doubt is particularly clear with the "narcissist" line. It's framed like an admission, and I think it's because he's started to believe it. But that's not because it's true, and we're not supposed to believe it either.
Loki has always adapted himself to meet other people's expectations, and that's exactly what he does in this interaction as in so many others. He doesn't really know who he is, just who other people think he is, and that person is a horrible one, so that's what he says about himself. And other characters certainly aren't disagreeing. Mobius throws the same kind of lines at him when interrogating him in episode 1:
Look at that smile! You're enjoying that!
(LOKI: I know what I am.) A murderer?
You're really good at doing awful things, and then just getting away.
You were born to cause pain and suffering and death.
And by the end of the episode, Loki is emotionally exhausted. He calls himself weak. And when Mobius says, "You do know yourself!" Loki responds with, "A villain?" All of Mobius' attacks on Loki's identity were effective enough that Loki supplies him with another negative identifier--playing into what he wants to hear, just like he does with Sif, to make the attacks stop.
But it's different in episode 4. Mobius tries the same tactic again, using a word Loki had just used to describe himself:
What a incredible seismic narcissist. You fell for yourself!
This comes after he tried to convince Loki that Sylvie was dead (thus leaving him alone), and it's very much structured to further play on that fear--the only person he could ever be close to (in any way) is himself. He is alone. And it's that thought that's juxtaposed with the narcissist barb. Mobius is defining Loki as a narcissist, not because it's true, but because he's trying to break Loki down.
In reality, Loki isn't narcissistic at all--wanting attention does not a narcissist make. The very fact that he can say "I'm a narcissist because I'm scared of being alone" shows that he isn't one; you aren't a narcissist "because" of something, you just are one! And he's just been told he is one so many times, by people strategically attacking him, he starts to internalize that thought. It reminds me a lot of how people would call Tony narcissistic (even in his Avengers file) and how despite that being untrue, he began associating self-preservation with narcissism and instead took on the responsibility of protecting the whole team at cost to himself. Tony wasn't narcissistic--he used attention-seeking as a cry for help. It's the same with Loki. He wants to be noticed because he doesn't want to be alone.
And it's that desire that's being attacked. Mobius calls him a narcissist for finding companionship in Sylvie, the only person who's even tried to genuinely get to know him. Mobius is trying to keep Loki isolated and emotionally distraught, since Loki is less formidable that way. But Loki holds his own, even getting in the final line. Because of Sylvie, those barbs don't have the same effect as they did before. In episode 1, Mobius says:
It's funny, for someone born to rule, you sure do lose a lot. You might even say it's in your nature.
But look at what Loki says in episode 4.
SYLVIE: Do you think that what makes a Loki a Loki is the fact that we're destined to lose?
LOKI: No. We may lose. Sometimes painfully. But we don't die. We survive. I mean, you did. You were just a child when the TVA took you, but you nearly took down the organization that claims to govern the order of time. You did it on your own. You ran rings around them. You're amazing!
And that's what starts the Nexus event. Loki directly goes against the definition and expectation of what a Loki is supposed to be. He finally defines himself, thanks to and through Sylvie, as someone who survives, someone who is independent, someone who can do anything, someone who "can be whoever and whatever he wants to be"--and the universe breaks.
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allmightluver · 2 years
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I simply do not understand what people are doing on your ALLMIGHT CENTER BLOG commenting on how he's a fictional character and you're a moral egoist for applying critical analysis to the fandom's respond to his character.
I mean, 1. All fans apply some level of analysis to characters they like and fandom reactions to them, that's what fandom spaces are for, so it makes no sense to come on a fan blog and be upset about that, 2. You're absolutely correct, it is weird that so many bnha fans think Allmight has outlived his purpose when he's now a canonically disabled character.
I get that a lot of people are stuck on their perceptions of him being this golden idol that fulfilled his character purpose during his fight with AFO and passed the torch off, so to speak. But bnha isn't a basic Superhero comic (if any truly exist). Bnha, at it's core, is about the societal ramifications of mutant abilities and trying to find what is right and good in a world full of problems. It focuses on power and culture and class and governing systems and many many more social/cultural/economic issues that can be applied to our own world.
So I think the fact that so many fans completely ignore both the plot relevance and the cultural relevance of a canonically disabled main character (who is a retired crime fighter that single handedly defined the "golden age" of heroes in his country and now has to live with the fallout of his decisions as they impacted the world around him and his health as it impacts his entire personal and professional life) is just a really sad failure on this fandom's part.
I just think Allmight's story has a lot of relevance both as a plot device for a story centered around a Superhero society and the lesser thought about ramifications of that and as a cultural icon for disabled characters in anime and manga. There's a lot more we can learn from his character, flaws and all, aside from him just being Izuku's childhood hero.
(Sorry for the long ask btw)
I 100% agree with this, thank you!
People tend to think that his character is washed up, that there's nothing left for him to be doing. But the fact of it is that, aside from the fact that he's an amazing representation for so many people to the public's eye, as a character Toshinori's story isn't over yet. Which is actually so relieving to hear after what this poor man's been through.
He never took time for himself throughout the years, and he's suffering consequences now for it. I believe he had a challenging time being genuinely happy for a long, long time. Of course he was happiest when he could help someone, but when you're at the top and expected to take care of everything without taking care of yourself, and then receiving hardly if any help in return, it's an exhausting and depressing existence. Expected to be everyone's everything because he's the best, but in return other heroes fought as a child who could run to their big brother for help if things got too scary. Of course there were plenty of heroes that gave their all, and many that still do. But it was made pretty obvious that they all had a big wakeup call when the realization that All Might wouldn't be there to call on any more fully sank in. Expectations, responsibilities, opinions; too much was unfairly placed on Toshinori's shoulders. Now the world can see just how much he did, how much he protected them from. He was the shield keeping out the evil, worries, and fears from the world so they could continue to live their lives in the false peace they knew beneath his own bleeding body. Toshinori did his best to save everyone from that.
It was made canon that All Might literally worked until he dropped of exhaustion in Vigilantes. I highly doubt this was a one-time instance knowing Toshinori, and Nighteye was concerned in the moment, but not shocked as if this was an out of the norm event.
My hope for Toshinori is that he can finally be truly happy. That the regrets he carries no longer weigh him down and bury his head beneath the surface. I want him to finally be able to sit back and rest, like he deserves, knowing that he doesn't need to worry constantly.
And please give this man a therapy dog for goodness sake.
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thran-duils · 3 years
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Use All of Me (P.13)
Title: Use All Of Me (Part Thirteen) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark Mob!Steve Rogers. The Avengers are heroes saving the world but in this AU, they are also permitted by the powers in charge to have less than favorable business underneath their guise of mere superheroes. Steve and Tony are at the helm, keeping their empire’s wealth in check, both devious and perilous if crossed. Steve takes a liking to the reader at a party and it may be her undoing to her autonomy choosing to go home with him. Words: 3,575 Warnings: Dark AF, angst, emotional/mental abuse, smut, breeding, death
Part Twelve || Part Fourteen || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost
A branch snapped out in the woods and you turned quickly towards the noise. It was dark outside still, the sun just starting to rise. You had been unable to sleep since 3:30am and instead of tossing and turning that could wake Yua up, you had come out onto the upper balcony with a book and a blanket.
The only sound you heard now was your heart pounding in your ears, worried that you were going to see a shadow step out from behind the trees in the shape of Steve’s broad shoulders.
But the woods were quiet, no looming figures. Slowly, you relaxed, the tension leaving your muscles. You could not see anything, so you nestled back down, opening the book again. After a few minutes, the sound was forgotten, and you were immersed in your book.
When you finally came back inside, Yua was up by then. You walked quietly by Natalie’s still sleeping form and made your way down the stairs carefully. Yua was already at the sink making herself some coffee. She eyed you as you walked into the kitchen.
“God, look how big you are,” Yua said groggily, eyeing your stomach.
“Good morning to you too. And yes, I can feel it,” you jested. “26 weeks.”
She laughed, “I mean honestly. Since this all started out… it’s like you swallowed a volleyball. It just hits me sometimes, still catches me off guard.”
“Soon to be a basketball, I’m sure.”
“Or bigger.”
“Probably bigger,” you admitted, grabbing a glass to get yourself some water.
“Well, you’re not that size yet. So, where is my breakfast? Cause you look like you’ve been up for a while. Why isn’t it ready?” Yua joked.
Yawning, you said, “Well, ma’am, I was actually going to go back to bed after I got something to drink. I’ve been up since 3:30. I couldn’t sleep. And now it’s catching all up to me. But if you would like, I could make you eggs.”
She waved you off, “I was just kidding. Go back to sleep. It’s still early enough! Do you want me to put a plate of food in the fridge for you for whenever you do wake up?”
“That would be nice,” you said before taking a large gulp of the water. You placed the half empty water glass back on the counter and said, “I’ll have that later too. Don’t want to drink too much at one time. The babies have declared a competition on who can kick my bladder the hardest.”
<><><>
Back in New York, Clint looked way too proud of himself as he strode into the room, but it caught Steve’s attention because that could mean only one thing. And that thing was going to bode well for him.
He was halfway out of his seat as Clint approached, a wide grin tearing at the sides of his mouth.
“I think I got it,” he said, throwing the few pictures he had printed out upstairs on the desk in front of Steve. Steve sat back down, pulling the photos towards him eagerly. “I saw that one of Natalie’s cousins had some photos up in the woods. I couldn’t get a location on them because I wasn’t friends with him. So, I got Shuri to make up a hack for me to gain access to an account. I chose one of the aunts, disguising it as a money scheme – she fell for it, clicked on the link. I was able to gain access to her account and was able to access more of the photos on his page. He’s got a cabin in New Hampshire.”
Steve was looking at the photos of the family outside their cabin.
“If she isn’t on the trains,” Clint said, excitedly. “Where are we now with the cameras? The west coast? We should have seen her by now if she was on the Amtrak.” He pointed eagerly at the pictures and said, “This might be it. It wouldn’t cost them anything to stay in and it’s probably secluded. It’s not too far but it’s far enough out of state.”
<><><>
Wanda was leaning back on the couch, flipping through a magazine. She had been watching the cameras for most of the early morning, but Tony had arrived around 6:30am, wanting to try different locations so she got up and left, giving him the space he needed.
The phone on the desk rang nearby, drawing her attention instantly, and she sat up, craning her neck to look at it. The phone was the number they had given out on the ads to call if anyone had any information on Y/N’s whereabouts. Tony’s gaze was locked on it too and before he could react, she was there, picking it up.
“Hello?”
“Hi, I’m calling about the missing persons ad.”
Wanda’s breath caught for a moment before she breathed, “Yes?”
“For Y/N Y/L/N.”
“Yes,” Wanda said more impatiently.
“Saw a woman like the photo at one of the cabins up here as I was on a walk real early this morning, right as the sun was coming up. She was sitting on the porch, very pregnant. I didn’t get a great look at her, didn’t want to gawk, you know. Plus, I think I was on their property, so I was probably trespassing, but I was following a doe—”
“Where was it at?” Wanda asked, cutting him off in the politest voice she could muster.
<><><>
“Steve!” Wanda called, taking the stairs by two. Steve called from the community room and she walked briskly, practically breaking into a jog. When she entered the room, she saw Clint, Sam, and him were looking at some photos on the table. Tearing her attention away from that, she said in a rush, “We maybe got something. A man named Will called about it, saying he thinks he saw Y/N.”
“In New Hampshire?”
“Y-Yes?” Wanda said completely confused at how he knew that.
Clint looked beside himself and Steve demanded, “Where at? Did you get a location?”
Wanda told him the address and Steve pulled his phone out, typing it into the maps app. He slammed his hand down on the desk in triumph, standing quickly. He thrust the phone into Clint’s hands. Sam was trying to peer over Clint’s shoulders to get a look too.
“That’s the same damn cabin,” Steve exclaimed, hardly able to contain his excitement. Wanda took notice of the pictures now, leaning over the table to look at them herself.
“Are we going now?” Sam asked just as Steve breezed past him. His eyes swept to Clint and said, “I guess so then.”
“Ha, teamwork,” Clint smiled, squeezing Wanda on the shoulder encouragingly as he walked by, rushing to follow Steve.
<><><>
The team was quick in their assemble upon arrival, Bucky and Natasha having to travel to get there which set Steve on edge because he had been ready immediately in his black suit, anxiousness coursing through him. He was pacing in front of the facility, having a hard time containing the hope blooming. His eyes were set on the tree line, wanting to just get into the car and drive to the address, scoop Y/N up and bring her back home.
He was not going to make the same mistakes he had that had let her slip through his fingers. If he could help it, she would never step foot off that property without him again. He would make sure she learned that lesson as soon as he got her home.
Tony met him at the edge of the entrance patio, not suited up. He was staying behind to monitor from there and he surprised Steve with a small drone, holding it out to him.
“You should not go in there guns blazing before you get sights on her or something to be absolutely sure. Use this. You don’t need to be barging into some random pregnant person’s cabin. Not a good look, not good press. Especially since you’ve got it out there now that you are looking for her. This drone is quiet, but it’s not silent so don’t fly too close or they’ll hear it and it’ll blow your whole covert cover.”
“You mean hovering above the place in a plane isn’t going to do that?”
“You’re not taking a plane, jackass,” Tony retorted, and Steve smirked in response. “Park down the road. You can go in on foot.” Steve thanked him, taking the drone. Tony ran his eyes up and down Steve and asked, “Was it really necessary to get up in the suit?”
“Can’t exactly show up in slacks. Just in case things get squirrelly,” Steve responded.
“’Squirrelly’,” Tony chortled. “Y/N will hardly be able to run.” Steve’s only response to that with a slight smile of acknowledgement. Tony stepped closer and said, “I got something else too. Of course, they say it doesn’t exist because the general public already has an issue with frothing at the mouth with conspiracy theories of the government tracking them. People honestly suffer from grandiosity in this country.” He noticed the impatient look on Steve’s face and apologized, “Sorry. Soap box. How do you feel about a GPS chip?” Steve’s eyes widened in surprise and Tony back tracked quickly. “Right. We can talk about that when she gets back home, safe and sound. I’ve just wanted to try out the new model and she seems like the perfect candidate, perfect circumstance. We’ll chat when you’re back. Don’t forget.”
Tony clapped Steve on the shoulder before walking back towards the door to the elevator.
<><><>
The trip up north was taking longer than Steve wanted it to, his fingers drumming impatiently on his thigh as he watched the trees go by. The thought that Y/N would somehow get tipped off and bolt before he got there was eating away at him. He was watching his phone anxiously, seeing them get closer and closer to where the cabin should be.
When Clint pulled off on the highway at what should be the end of the road that would lead to the cabin, Steve threw the door open and stepped outside. He was ready to let the drone go, flying it towards the direction of where the cabin was in a matter of a few moments, the only pause in the effort being from the drone having to start up. Steve was watching the viewing screen of the drone with intensity as it hovered over the trees, keeping an eye peeled as he followed the gravel road. The rest of the team was waiting around the SUV. Bucky leaned against the side, tapping his foot, trying to expel some of the pent-up adrenaline that everyone was garnering, knowing this needed to be executed without injury or incident.
The cabin was there at the end and Steve leaned forward in anticipation seeing the car.
“That looks like the car model,” Tony said over his earpiece. He was able to access the drone’s camera was well back at the facility. “Zoom in a bit to the license plate.” Steve did as he asked and Tony breathed, “Bingo.”
“Alright,” Steve said far more calmly than he felt. “That’s good enough for me.” He walked back towards the open back door of the SUV, walking up and placing the screen just inside. “The cabin is about half a mile away. Clint, stay here with the car and be ready to come up when we are ready to go. I don’t want Y/N to have to walk back down the driveway. Nat, Sam… you’re with me at the front. Buck, take the back of the cabin. Don’t shoot anyone unless I tell you to.”
“Taking the fun out of things,” Bucky halfheartedly joked.
<><><>
Stretching out on the bed, your toes curled. A sigh of contentment left your lips as your eyes opened, blinking away your sleep. When your vision focused, you saw the clock said it was almost 11:00am. You had managed to fall back asleep around 7:00am and you felt better now that you had gotten some more sleep. You could barely detect Yua and Natalie speaking in low tones, more than likely trying to avoid waking you up.
The serenity was shattered at the loud bang from on the first floor and you heard Yua scream in alarm. You sat up with difficulty just as the door from the balcony burst open. You jolted to the side, holding your stomach protectively.
Your heart rate slowed only for a moment upon recognizing the man who burst in was Bucky. When his cerulean eyes landed on you, gun pointed in your direction, your heart rate blew past normal, your breath quick.
“Bucky?” you got out in a gasp.
He relaxed ever so slightly, his eyes softening at the sight of you. His gun was no longer pointed at you, hanging at his side now. You did not miss the uptick of his lips, satisfaction flooding his face. But he still stayed on alert, ready to raise his weapon again if needed.
You sat up straight slowly, despite the commotion downstairs, keeping eye contact with him. Getting to your feet you tried to drown out the sounds of shouting downstairs, focusing only on him. His eyes flicked to your stomach, causing your hands to clench tighter around it and he made eye contact with you again.
“You can let me leave,” you said to him, your voice shaking.
Bucky’s laugh was humorless. “Y/N. Sweetheart, c’mon.” He was chastising you for even suggesting it with that tone.
“Buck?”
The sound of his voice rolling up the stairs made you freeze to the spot.
“I’ve got your doll in my scope. She looks good, Steve,” Bucky called back down towards the ground floor.
The sound of his foot on the bottom stair made you flinch. His footfalls were heavy, each step putting another nail in the coffin of your freedom. Your eyes flicked towards the open door and Bucky gave you a disappointed look, taking a step back towards it. He shook his head and you tore your eyes away from him, eyes fixated on the stairs.
He came into view quick, his height surpassing the staircase railing long before Yua or Natalie’s would. The same time elation flew through his features upon seeing you, you felt dread course through your veins. He was geared up, like he was going into a fight. Apparently, he did not underestimate the three of you.
Steve was a foot from you now, his gaze piercing and you were too afraid to take your eyes off him. There were a few moments of silence before he said quietly, “I admit, you have some loyal friends down there. They remind me of Buck.” You said nothing and he asked harshly now, “What did you think this was going to accomplish though, really, Y/N?”
You sucked in your bottom lip, unable to form a sentence in your frightened state about what he was there to do besides take you back.
“Answer me.”
Stammering, you said, “I… I just…” You were embarrassed he was shaking you up so bad. You had been in such a haze, hoping beyond reason that the three of you would eventually be able to settle down and it would blow over. The longer you had stayed away, the more the doubt it could work had been overshadowed by that terrible misleading feeling of hope.
Steve’s expression softened seeing you tripping over your words. He stepped closer and you instinctively stepped back. His lips formed into a thin line, stopping his advancement. “Y/N, doll, please. I want what is best for you. All I want is to take care of you. You worried me, doll. You worried me a lot. Do you know what it felt like to not know where you were? If you were safe? If the children were safe? Can you imagine how utterly upset you made me? How betrayed I felt when I realized you were gone? I leave to let you have a party with your friends, to give you space with them.” You almost flinched at the phrasing, like he had taken the words right out of your mouth. If he noticed, he did not show it. He continued on, “I leave a gift behind for you to find, something I built for you and the babies, and how do you repay me? You left. Without a word. Like I didn’t matter. Did you even see the gift?”
“No,” you whispered.
“Of course you didn’t. You didn’t care enough to look. You were only concerned with yourself. Out of everyone in the world, I didn’t think it would be you that would betray me like this. You told me you loved me.”
Heat rose to your cheeks as your eyes glistened with tears. He sounded deeply hurt, wounded. You could see it in his eyes.
“I can forgive you, Y/N. Trusting you is something else entirely. I don’t think that’s an option right now. But… I can forgive you. You just have to come back and be good.”
You averted your gaze, your chest tightening at his order.
Steve closed the space between you, and you did not move away this time. He hooked his fingers underneath your chin, tipping your head up. “It’s me…” Steve told you as his eyes hardened, and he warned gravely, “Or nobody.”
You did not have to imagine all the guns pointed at your friends downstairs. You either left with them both dead and back with Steve. Or left with them both alive and with Steve. Either way, he had you enveloped back to him. The degree of guilt is what you were choosing, that’s what he was giving you.
You were taking too long to answer.
Steve looked over his shoulder, making eye contact with Bucky. Bucky started walking towards the staircase where he could look down on the living room.
“Steve, don’t—” you choked out.
“I want to hear you say it.”
“You’re scaring me.”
“Good.”
You let out a strangled noise before you got out in between tears, “I won’t ever try to leave you again, I swear. I’ll stay home for you. I’ll take care of the twins. I’ll do what you ask, I’ll listen, like I promised. I’ll be happy.”
“Were you ever?” He asked coldly.
“I w-was,” you said shakily, nodding. Nodding to convince yourself, remind yourself that you had been. “I was, really.”
“And what changed that, hmm?”
“You… you locked me away in the house.”
His lips twitched at the accusation and you feared you had made a misstep, fearing for Yua and Natalie. He did not make a move though except to say, “And why did I do that?”
He wanted you to say what he believed. He wanted you to believe it too. The tears were fat rolling down your cheeks as you whispered, “Because… you wanted to keep me safe.”
“That’s right, doll,” Steve breathed easier, smiling. His fingers caressed your face. “That’s exactly what I was doing. And you pulling this little stunt proved my gut instinct was right, didn’t it? You need protection, especially from yourself. You are impulsive and don’t think about the long-term repercussions of your actions.” His hand came to rest on your abdomen, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I don’t want you to be afraid of me, doll. I want you to just come home and let me take care of you. That’s what’s going to happen. Right?”
“Yes,” a voice that sounded like yours said; it was like you were outside your body. “Yes, I want that.”
“That’s what I thought,” Steve said, leaning forward and giving you a long kiss on your forehead.
“My friends?” you choked out.
Steve pulled away from you and smirked at you. “Hmm, maybe you can be concerned with more than yourself. Maybe I was too harsh there for a moment… what about your friends?”
“Please don’t hurt them. Please let them leave and go back home unharmed.”
He exhaled heavily and asked seriously, “And why should I do that?”
“Bucky would help you if you asked.” Bucky turned his head towards the pair of you and you tried to pretend like you did not notice his gaze. “It’s not their fault. I asked for help. It’s my fault. They shouldn’t be punished for my mistake. Please don’t make them pay for my behavior.”
Steve looked contemplative and you waited with bated breath, hoping he would react positively to your display of holding yourself liable. He wanted you to beg and you were giving it to him.
Over his shoulder, he finally ordered, “Let the ladies grab their things and get out of here. They’re safe… as long as Y/N continues to behave.” You opened your mouth to protest but he cut you off by pressing a button on his earpiece. “Barton, we’re ready. Come on up.”
He grasped your arm and you tried to yank your arm away from him. He was far too strong and jolted you to him. “Don’t go messing this up now, Y/N. You were doing so well. Don’t make this harder for me than it has to be to get you in the damn car. You got what you wanted with your friends; you just need to uphold your side of the bargain.”
~~~
Tags: @imsonick , @alexakeyloveloki, @kvzctam, @ironlady1993, @taintedgenre, @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @roxyfan14-blog @mrsnegan25 @coconutqueen21
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curious-kat · 3 years
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hey, i saw the post you reblogged about 9/11 and just wanted to say: it's definitely true that 9/11 has been used on a national level to justify some really egregious shit, but. it's also true that my mother was working on wall street when the planes hit, and was traumatized by the experience in ways that forever affected our entire family. like, your bio says you're from iowa, so i get that something which happened in NYC decades ago probably feels pretty abstract, but... (1/2)
(2/2) locals who did in fact live through it can see your reblog, you know? and it's possible, and important, to refuse to accept the weird ways 9/11 has been used to justify american jingoism without characterizing real people's suffering and death (ongoing in the case of first responders) as "funny" -- ironic that the OP complains about the government's 'sociopathic disregard for human life' in a post that opens with such remarkable callousness! anyway, thanks for hearing me out on this.
This ask is in response to this post.
hey thanks for your thoughts! Obviously 9/11 is an immensely fraught topic, for everyone but especially for those in New York and the families of those from all over the country who were on the planes.
First of all, I apologize for having inadvertently brought up the topic out of the blue on you. I know it's not in line with the overall tone of my blog, which is why I did try to tag with a bunch of the tags I use for more serious content, like "us politics" as well as the "9/11" tag.
Now for my perspective on the issue at hand: I don't remember 9/11. I was just barely old enough to, but my mom deliberately kept me away from the news broadcasts. The date happens to be her birthday, in fact. I grew up with the hard-to-reconcile dichotomy of celebrating her birthday on September 11th and the reality that everyone older than me talked about "Nine Eleven" in the grimmest tones.
Contrast this with the pandemic. I work in healthcare, I have been exposed to the virus multiple times, I deal with covid deniers at work daily, while on the personal side friends and family members of mine have died of it, one just recently. I've witnessed the federal, and state, and local governments mismanage this crisis so egregiously that many more people have died than ever should have.
As many people as died on 9/11 are dying of covid in this country every day and have been for months, and my state governor quite obviously does not give a shit. Nor have there been meaningful memorials for those we’ve lost so far. In fact, when I tell people to wear masks, I often get a look like “what are you on about? that’s all over now, we’ve moved on!” So OP's post resonated with me more than a little bit.
That being said, if I'd been writing it I would probably have phrased some things differently, starting with not calling 9/11 funny. I don't think anything about it is funny, particularly. More weird, hypocritical in the worst way, tragedy twisted into a dark form of patriotism that's gone sour.
But for those who were directly affected? All these metaphorical representations of the event that the rest of us are dealing with don't apply to you, because for you it's a personal tragedy first.
thanks for sending me your thoughts! I hope this goes some way towards addressing them.
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kylorengarbagedump · 3 years
Text
Defy Your Authority: Chapter 2
Read on AO3. Part 1 here. Part 3 here.
Summary: So, like, what's the big deal, buddy?
Words: 3800
Warnings: None. Yet.
Characters: Kylo Ren x Reader
A/N: Hello!! Firstly, thank you so much to @bastila-ren​ and @elmidol​ for listening to me talk so much about this fic, for reading the first two chapters, and helping me with their generous feedback.
Secondly, I want to thank all of you for your EXTREMELY generous response to this fic. I admit I was very nervous to post this, and still am very nervous to write it, but I can't explain how helpful it is to know that people still enjoy the story and want to read more. It's definitely a story I want to write!
Y’all have truly been too kind to me. I don't have a posting schedule, just yet--I'm hoping every week or every other week. :) Love y'all SOOOOO MUCH.
Like the smarmy bastard he was, Hux fought off a smirk. But Allegiant General Pryde gazed at you with what some might refer to as sheer, indignant horror.
Kylo Ren stopped feet from the throne, his gaze wandering your grungy hair, dirtied uniform, the cell filth on your face.
“Hm,” he said. “That’s one way to greet your Supreme Leader.”
Embers tickled your cheeks. Your Supreme Leader.
You looked at the two other men. What was on your tongue: Would you prefer I get on my knees instead?
What you ended up saying: “Uh, sorry. Sir.”
“I believe the Supreme Leader requires an apology a little more comprehensive than uh, sorry.”  Pryde stepped forward, as if to explain. “Sir, this woman was brought aboard by General Hux without prior approval.”
Kylo glanced between the older men, stare drifting to you, the darkness in his eyes reviving an animal within you that had been placed on life support. 
“Yes,” he replied. “I don’t recall providing authorization for this.”
“Supreme Leader,” Hux said, “we both know your TIE has been out of commission for several cycles. I thought it prudent to--”
“You thought it prudent to ask a manager of a remote outpost to come aboard the flagship of the First Order. I assume that’s what you’re about to say.” Pryde paused, waiting for Hux’s contrition--but none came. He turned to Kylo. “Sir, again, please forgive me. Had I known he’d be bringing aboard a rim-dweller who would defy your authority, I would’ve denied his request, entirely.”
“Defiance.” Kylo’s gaze drilled you. Much like you had dreamt of something else of his drilling you. “I hadn’t noticed.”
Pryde balked. “Well, I hardly find it appropriate to address the Supreme Leader of the First Order as dude, for starters.” He spat the word onto the floor like poison. “Really, General, you and her both should be begging for his pardon.”
You swallowed, attention on Kylo, trying to hide your glee. “Please, please forgive me,” you murmured. “Supreme Leader.”
Hux cleared his throat. “My apologies as well, sir.”
“Hm.” If he’d understood your tease, he didn’t acknowledge it. You frowned. Kylo looked to the cloaked mercenaries behind you. “Escort her back to Orinda.”
Disbelief smacked you across the face. “I’m sorry, what?”
Sputtering, Hux stepped forward. “Supreme Leader--”
“You don’t belong on this vessel,” Kylo said, glimpsing you, then the cloaked figures again. “Report is postponed. Prepare the Buzzard for departure.” 
Like droids, they activated and brushed past you, stalking toward the turbolift. The Supreme Dickhead gazed at you expectantly.
“They’re not patient.”
You shook your head, crossing your arms. “If you think I’m leaving--”
“Supreme Leader,” Hux said again. For once, you felt like both of you were stuck in the same flabbergasted pod. “Repairing your fighter has already wasted the time of numerous engineers, we don’t need to add--”
“Perhaps every engineer aboard deserves to have their time equally wasted, General.”
Hux’s jaw tensed. “If you wish, sir,” he replied. “But we could resolve the issue now.”
“We won’t.”
For whatever reason, Kylo Ren seemed dedicated to preventing you from working on this ship, as if he didn’t know your skill level. As if he believed other engineers deserved a shot at it over you. Ignoring the furious trembling of your fingers, you dug them into your sleeves. 
“What, you don’t think I’m capable?” you asked, frowning.
Pryde sighed. “Supreme Leader, the Council--”
Kylo pivoted to you. “No.” There was no hint of mockery or deception in his tone. “You’re capable.”
You swallowed, shrugged your shoulder. Tried not to sound hurt. “Then why won’t you let me try?”
Hazel eyes lingered, held you in silence for deafening seconds. There was something very, very tired inside of them. 
“Sir,” Pryde said, “as much as I love the rousing debate over whether or not this rimrat should be deemed worthy of working on your starfighter, the Supreme Council meeting is in minutes.” He turned to you. “I believe you’ve been directed to leave.”
You furrowed your brow, but miraculously managed to say nothing. The muscle under Kylo’s nose twitched. 
“You’ll get two hours.” He didn’t seem excited about the idea. “After that, you will return to Orinda.”
“Yeah, sure. Whatever,” you sighed. “Sir.”
A huff escaped him. “The Supreme Council meeting.” He turned, strode to the exit. “Come.”
Pryde frowned. “Sir, shouldn’t Hux return her to the hangar?”
“No.” Kylo’s voice ricocheted in the chamber. “She’s coming.”
Something like joy sparkled in your heart. Hux jutted out his chin, smirking at Pryde, who frowned and looked to you. You resisted the urge to stick your tongue out at him. There was a puzzle in his mind regarding your identity, a puzzle he was struggling to put together without the missing pieces. You weren’t interested in offering them. 
The three of you followed Kylo into the turbolift. Out of irritation, you stood as far away from him as possible. Awkward quiet settled in the air, and you grit your teeth, ignoring the sting of humiliation at your cheeks. Sure, it was nice he was inviting you to his little meeting, but that hardly compensated for the fact that it had been four entire months since you’d seen him and he was intent on booting you without so much as a parting fuck. 
Not that you wanted to fuck him after that stunt. 
Mostly.
The lift descended. Kylo hadn’t even looked at you, despite your best attempts at petty distancing. Hundreds of words hung on your tongue, and so few of them were appropriate for the ears of Hux and Pryde. Luckily for you, you could think them, instead.
Jackass.
The blast door slid open, and Kylo exited without response, the two generals on his heels. You lagged behind them, glare boring into the broad-shouldered bastard with the flowing cape.
Can’t believe this asshole was here the entire time, knowing everything, with all of the power in the galaxy, just doing bantha-shit about it.
Stormtroopers passed in formation, nodding in deference to the men in front of you as you turned a corner. The clomping of boots was the only sound for meters.
Leaving you for four months, horny as hell, lonely as hell, all while he was here doing what? Jerking off? As if he hadn’t begged you to stay. Please.
At the end of the hall, a set of blast doors parted, and you trailed the group inside, greeted by a massive, jet-black table with a hologram projector buried in the center. The occupants of about a dozen chairs turned, their eyes stuck to you, assessing you. Kylo crossed to the head of the table, Hux and Pryde taking spaces near him. The only open seats were at the back, relegated for only the most irrelevant attendees. You slunk over to one, sinking into it.
Apparently you’re not relevant to anyone in this room, anyway.
“Who’s this?” A balding officer of high-rank stared at you. “Supreme Leader?”
Pryde leaned forward. “She’s the Chief--”
“Who she is,” Kylo drawled, “is none of your concern.” 
Blood heated your face. The room rumbled with uncertainty, but only for seconds. 
“Sir,” said an older woman with slick blonde hair, “Multiple locations on Kamino refused entry to officers seeking out junior recruits. Our entry-level ranks are suffering. Requesting additional--”
Kylo glanced at her. “Yes.”
She nodded. “Thank you, sir.”
“Supreme Leader,” said an older, white-haired man. “Surveillance indicates that a fuel depot located in the Inner Rim has received communications from Resistance starships.”
“Have they responded?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Eliminate them.”
“Yes, sir.”
Another, dark-skinned woman inched to the edge of her seat. “Supreme Leader, ground troops found no evidence of Resistance sympathizers on the most recent patrol of Aeos Prime.”
“And the infrastructure.”
“Seems salvageable, sir.”
Kylo blinked, as if the answer hadn’t even mattered. “Move to the next outpost in the system.”
“Of course, Supreme Leader.”
Yet another man cleared his throat. “Supreme Leader, if I may…”
Swallowing, you stared into the gleaming tabletop, tracing the rivets of white light bordering the projector. Voices rose, offering status updates and seeking approval of the man at the head of the room. Obviously, there was nothing attractive about how competent and powerful Kylo Ren appeared in this setting. And this definitely did not tingle pride in your belly watching every single person in this room vie for his favor, knowing that out of all of them, the one he’d fucked was you.
Then again, maybe that was the very crux of the issue. His time and attention was desired and demanded and split between thousands--he directed and delegated an entire, galaxy-wide government. He commanded armies. Strategized operations. Balanced every need, tangible and intangible, with only two hands.
You spent your days bathing in ion dust.
The Allegiant Asshole cleared his throat, breaking you from your pity party. “General Hux,” he said, “didn’t you have your pet project to present?”
All eyes turned to Hux, his face dull with irritation. Lips pursing, he straightened his spine, fingers whizzing over the data screen at his seat. One swipe, a quick field entry, and the projector hummed to life, shooting a blue hologram of a TIE fighter above the table. It flickered, rotating like a display.
“The First Order has regularly demonstrated deficient performance during naval engagements, despite our superior numbers and resources,” Hux said. “After gathering data, we discovered that during our most recent missions, the TIE fighter is regularly out-piloted by Resistance sympathizers.” He tapped the screen, and the hologram split into a cross-section. “Thorough research indicates the TIE model is obsolete.”
The room crackled with whispers, officers turning to each other and looking to Hux, their faces twisted in disbelief. Kylo Ren sat, saying nothing, trained on the display. 
Sighing, you gazed at your hands and cleaned your nails. To you, this was obvious. Of course the basic TIE models--the TIE/fo models--were obsolete. The ships were highly inflexible, carried little firepower for their unwieldy construction, and had no hyperdrive application. In comparison to the model used by the Special Forces, the TIE/fo was practically useless. 
It was less obvious why these high-ranking strangers seemed unable to handle the truth.
“General,” said a dark-skinned man. “Are you proposing we abandon the TIE corps?”
Hux pressed the screen again, and it zoomed in on an exposed ion engine. “At the very least, the most basic TIE corps is woefully unequipped in comparison to Resistance fighters.”
“That’s ridiculous,” he replied, “our pilots are extensively trained.”
Pryde sneered. “Admiral Griss is correct,” he said. “Our elite troops don’t demonstrate any issue with crushing Resistance burrows.”
“Elite troops are never the ones defending a new occupation.” Hux gestured to the engine blueprint. “We sacrifice our progress because of this antiquated construction.”
“And what’s so antiquated about it?” Pryde sneered. “The construction is based on the Imperial TIE. These ships were a well-known symbol of naval superiority.”
“Updated for modern needs,” added Griss. 
Hux’s voice rose a decibel. “Not modern enough, given how frequently a single X-wing will decimate an entire unit.”
You wanted to groan. Against your will, you had to admit Hux was right. Orinda regularly saw straggling, crippled TIEs smash into the valley outside the hangar in attempts to land for repair. Mirna had pulled more pilots than you could count out of blazing wreckage.
“Do you suggest we change the basic TIE unit, then?” Griss asked.
“Perhaps,” Hux replied, “or we move to a different construction entirely.”
The other officers chuckled, murmurs rippling through the ranks again. 
“Supreme Leader,” Pryde said, “what he’s suggesting is absurd. Sienar-Jaemus manufactures perfectly appropriate and functional fighters at an affordable price to the First Order. It’s been done this way since the Empire.”
Rolling your eyes, you sat back in your chair. For a General of a government allegedly interested in innovation and progress, Pryde seemed to love sucking the Empire’s dick. The fact that they were refusing to even entertain Hux’s idea was, well…
“Perhaps we should place a double order for the basic fighters, sir,” Pryde continued. “To demonstrate their capability.”
You snorted. “Now that’s absurd.”
Every voice in the room died. Leather squelched, and you glanced up from your nails in time to see a dozen bodies shifting in their seats to turn and look at you. Inwardly, you cursed--you hadn’t had to practice volume control in months. 
At the head of the table, Kylo Ren stared. His expression, even to you, was indiscernible. But even if he was mad, you wouldn’t have cared. Not as long as he still intended on kicking you off the Steadfast without another word.
Shrugging, you said, “General Hux is right. The original TIE model is flawed. They lose out one-on-one almost every time.” Kylo still said nothing, the rest of the room too confused to interrupt you. “I guarantee there’s more credits spent on replacement models than it would cost to invest in something more versatile.”
Griss’s nose wrinkled, and he looked between you and Kylo. “I…” When Kylo offered no response, Griss settled on you. “I’m not sure what brought you here, ah… Lieutenant, but regardless of your purpose, you’re surrounded by superiors of the First Order. Don’t speak out of turn.”
“Right,” you said, “I do apologize, sir.  But you have to admit that this all is a little absurd. I see busted up basic TIEs all the time. They’re a failure.”
“Yes,” he replied, “and you are?”
“Chief of Operations on Orinda.”
“An outpost?” The room echoed with laughter, and you bristled. Griss gestured to you. “Supreme Leader, please, why is this woman here?”
Pryde nodded. “I know you have your reasons, sir, but surely she doesn’t belong in this room.”
“Maybe this woman knows what she’s talking about,” you mumbled.
“Excuse me?” Griss whipped around, leering at you. “Mind repeating yourself, Lieutenant?”
Volume control. Really needed to get better with that. 
Gathering a breath, you swallowed your ire. You could not spend all two hours on the Steadfast immediately making enemies with the military leaders of the First Order. Given Kylo’s state, you doubted he’d encourage your attitude. 
“My apologies,” you said, bowing your head, “I’m just. Nervous. Being on this ship for the first time.”
“Perhaps you’ve spent too much time on Orinda,” said Griss. “You’ve forgotten the hierarchy.”
“She needs re-education,” said the balding man.
The dark-skinned woman huffed. “Or a demotion.”
“Some form of discipline, surely.”
“Yes,” said Pryde with a glare. “Perhaps that should be arranged.”
Your heart skipped.
“Enough.”
Every person in the room spun, attention on Kylo Ren.
He was still inscrutable. Still gazing directly at you. 
A shiver spilled over your spine. Like instinct, your thighs pressed together. 
“General Hux,” he said. “Prepare a plan for the replacement of the basic TIE model.” A pause. No one spoke a word. “Dismissed.”
You remained in your seat as the other officers rose, their lips sealed as they filed out of the room. Hux scowled at you--ungrateful prick--and acknowledged Kylo’s order before leaving. Pryde scrutinized you, his focus flipping between you and his Supreme Leader as he stood from the table. 
“It’s time to leave, Lieutenant,” he said.
“I need a moment,” you replied, glancing at him. “Sir.”
Pryde turned to Kylo. “Sir?”
Kylo’s face was blank. “Dismissed, General.”
Whatever Pryde was thinking, he didn’t say. He offered deference to the Supreme Leader before strutting out, the blast door shutting behind him.
The moment it closed, the room thickened with heat, like stars vaporized the air. Sweat beaded your hairline, your tongue drying to paper. Every movement you thought to make was paused, paralyzed by confusion. Had it been four months ago, you’d be getting railed on top of the table or in his chair, you were sure of it. But Kylo seemed almost indifferent now. It neutered every response that came to mind.
Here you were, alone with Kylo Ren for the first time since you’d left. He was only meters away from you. And you had absolutely no idea what to do.
“Your time is limited, Lieutenant.”
A reminder he wanted you gone. You shook your head, chewing the inside of your lip. 
“The silencer is free to be inspected.”
Indignance tightened your chest. Your face was on fire.
“Or perhaps,” Kylo said, “you’d rather travel directly to Orinda.”
You whirled on him. “So you knew I was on Orinda the entire time?” Your frustration was unfettered. “You knew and just didn’t do anything about it? For four months?”
His stare didn’t yield. “Yes.”
“Yes?” you said. “That’s it? That’s all you have to say for yourself? How do you expect me to respond to that?” More heat gripped your neck. He was still. “Why do you want me gone so badly? You act like you don’t even want me around.”
“I don’t.”
The words were switchblades to your chest. You shook your head, gulped your pain.
“Uh. Okay. Wow.” Sighing, you continued, “But don’t you--I mean. You pleaded with me to stay.”
He said nothing.
“You... I know how you feel. You can’t hide that from me. Do you…” Your throat was tight. “Did something change?”
For four months, you had wondered what had been going on in Kylo Ren’s mind. Seeing him draped in the responsibility of the Supreme Leader of the First Order, hesitation crept into your gut. Within his gaze, perhaps only apparent to you, there was a black, terrible emptiness, like shadows reined in by his rage. Exhaustion hung in dark circles under his eyes and at his cheeks. His presence was as breathtaking as it ever had been, only haunted with the weight of the galaxy. 
For four months, you had wondered. You didn’t know, now, if you wanted the answer.
“You don’t belong here.” Kylo paused, then stood, moving toward the door. “Your presence is not warranted.”
“Warranted? That’s not what this is about.” You shot to your feet, intercepting his path. “You knew where I was, and you never once came to me! You left me there! Alone!” He side-stepped you, and you followed him, keeping your eyes chained to his. “Didn’t you miss me?” you asked. “Didn’t you think about me?”
He stalled. Exhaling through his nose, he spoke through his teeth. “Yes.”
“Then why didn’t you find me?” you said. “You promised!” 
Kylo stood, trapped in your stare, his fingers furling into fists.
“I know how you feel about me.” You advanced on him. “I know it.” 
You were so near you could feel his breath, count the individual strands of his hair, bask in the warmth of his body. A short inhale, and memory slammed you like gravity--the scent of his skin, his palms gripping your waist, his lips brushing your ear. The ache in your hands at night when they were not full of him, the bedtime yearning in your limbs when they were not wound around his. You had known him, known him, as if his blood ran in your veins.  
This was the closest you’d been to Kylo Ren in weeks upon weeks. Somehow, you only felt further away.
“Why?” you asked. “Why didn’t you find me?” After all of it, he only stared. It lit you with rage, and you bumped your chest with his. “Say something!”
The muscle in his jaw tightened. His shoulders rolled. But he was silent. 
A peal of bitter laughter escaped you. Whatever issues he had didn’t mater. You deserved more than what he was offering.
“Wow. Okay.” You shrugged, stepping back. “I don’t know who I was thinking about for these past four months, but it definitely wasn’t you.” Shaking your head, you turned toward the door. “Whatever, dude. Fuck you.”
You took a single step, and Kylo snatched your wrist, whipped you against his body. 
“You say that,” he breathed, “as if you haven’t been thinking about getting fucked since you arrived.”
Oxygen fled your lungs. Every blood cell in your body piled onto your cheeks and between your legs. In seconds, you were a throbbing, pent-up, swell of lust. 
You swallowed. “Oh, please,” you muttered. “You can’t distract me that easily. You know I need answers.”
“Hm.” Kylo scanned your figure. “So you say.”
“You’re such an asshole.” You tried to peel your wrist free. “Why didn’t you do this weeks ago, huh?”
His face darkened, his hold on you tightened. 
“You ask questions that have no answers.”
“Ugh. Get off.” Grunting, you shouldered him, body buffeting his like a flaccid wave. It would’ve been arousing, his strength, how utterly solid he was, if he wasn’t making you miserable in this moment. “You’re so full of it, man. Let me go. I’ll go repair your dumbass ship and you can send me back to Orinda, like you so clearly want.”
“You presume to understand what I want.” His voice was severe, a dull blade. “You will not stay here.” The ghost of a smirk fled his face. “But you won’t escape punishment when you’re gone.”
You shuddered, stuck out your chin. “Your punishments don’t scare me.”
Kylo growled. “Really.” A leather palm cupped the back of your neck, tugged you close. “Such confidence.”
You couldn’t help it. A tiny, excited whimper left you. Kylo shifted, his hand squeezed--
The projector in the table beeped. An incoming transmission. The both of you froze, staring at the blinking request on the interface.  You coughed, patted his chest as a signal to answer it. The knot in his throat bobbed, and he released you, crossing to the console and accepting the message.
Hux appeared in hologram form. “Supreme Leader,” he said, voice even more snivelly through the broadcast. “We received a distress signal from Orinda. Multiple Resistance fighters have been detected on radar. Requests for response from the officers stationed there have gone unanswered.”
The joints in your body locked. Your mouth opened, but nothing came out.
“Permission to dispatch TIE units, sir,” Hux said.
Kylo was still. “Dispatch.”
“Yes, sir.”
The hologram winked out. Before you could process, your feet were moving you toward the door.
“I gotta go.” Your pulse pounded in your temple. The entirety of your crew was down there. By themselves. “I gotta go there. I gotta get there. I’m sorry, I know I said I would repair your ship but--”
“Stop.” 
“--it’s probably for the best anyway, I just gotta find some way there, I--”
He spoke your name like a command. You stopped. Stared into his tired, empty eyes. 
His chest fell in a small sigh. “We’ll take the Buzzard,” he said. “Come.”
Kylo Ren tread past you, through the blast doors, into the hallway. The tatters of your bewildered heart weren’t a priority right now. You followed him--your Supreme Leader.
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xo-cuteplosion-xo · 3 years
Text
A god's key to victory | Fyodor x Reader |
I got this idea whilst talking with another Fyodor simp. May mercy be spared on me for this piece.
A god's key to victory | Fyodor x reality-warping reader |
Disclaimers/ Warnings: Definitely a ton of mental manipulation. Obsessive themes. Depictions of abuse, controlling actions, violence, dystopia.
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The moon shone elegantly, glimmering through the glass pane of your room. Off in the distance, there was life. Outside the glimmering stone walls of this cell-like room. The golden ring on your finger brought nothing but torment. At one point this choice had been easy. He’d finally broken you into submission. Even as the world submitted to his views, there lay a single person who could undo everything. If he touched you with a single finger, all of this would be gone. Fyodor had no room for the human emotion of love. Even though he did love you in his twisted way. He gave you everything, from jewels to fine silks. He teaches you his language and lets you see his rare moments of compassion.
This world was perfect, yet here you were broken. When had it happened? When had he stripped you of your free will? Your joy? Your liveliness? The smile he had no explanation for loving? The fight that made him fall evermore for you? He was a god now, a true god who dictated the crime and the punishment of this city. That had been it, hadn't it? The moment you used your ability so widely. The day he stripped this world of its filth. The day you became the goddess by his side. He had strained you too far. You seemed so numb now. Yet, it didn’t stop him from holding you on his lap and leaving pecks around your neck. You were all he needed in this world. If somebody touched you, he'd simply kill them. There were moments where your light returned, moments where he saw that glimmer of fight and joy.
It had started years ago, when you were naive and worked alongside the scum of this world. He’d met you in a cafe. He found the meeting rather... cliche. You had to work multiple jobs to pay for your place and support your life. He’d watched the way you avoided eye-contact with others. The way you so easily switched between personalities dependent on whom you were serving. You read through people so easily it was interesting to him. Nobody else seemed to notice that it wasn’t the real you. When you get to his table your eyes fell cold and distant. He had given you a mere smirk. You only needed one look to know how to warp his view. Your ability allowed you to push what you wanted onto anybody else. It warped the very fabric of the space you were around. He understood that within moments. He was after all a highly intelligent man.
When you begin to act smug and cold just how he was, he could only chuckle. You amused him. That alone was a dangerous feat; Gaining the interest of a man who thought of himself as a god. From then on he became a regular. He memorized what days you worked and the time. He’d sit there until your shift ended. With each of those passing days, he would find a way to talk to you. He observed the way you acted. Your eyes were the giveaway to it all. To almost everybody, you could pass for anybody. Yet, when he looked into your eyes, he found the light of a scared and naive child. He found it a fun game to change what he wanted each day. The confusion that passed your face, even if it only lasted a tenth of a second, filled his pride. You stumbled over what facade to act on.
It took a month for him to completely figure you out. When that happened you were doomed. He would begin his manipulation. He wanted you on his side. The things your ability could do for him were too enticing to pass up. He whispered soft words filled with false emotions. At least, that was what he called them at first. He never admitted it to himself, and so that’s what it was. It was all just a facade to gain your trust and snatch you away. To him, you were not a sinner like the others. You were something pure and unaware of the world's terror.
When he found you worked with the very agency that continued to stunt his plans, he became agitated. It was a minor setback. The one person he knows rivals his intelligence sat among that agency. His name was Dazai and to his luck, the two of you seemed rather… close. He would joke around with you a lot. That pink tint he had grown accustomed to forcing onto your cheeks would pass at his words. It grew an emotion he hated. This emotion wanted you for himself.
So, the next time he saw you, he began to ask you about your views on this world. Just as he had predicted you were nothing but innocent. You never noticed how you showed the real version of yourself to him. Laughing after work hours. He had started as a stranger, but now you trusted him enough to go drinking. You held up a glass with a rather bright smile. Still, unaware of his complex. He’d watch you drink and memorize your reactions to every little movement he made. “What do you think about the world?” he would need this sliver of information before he began his little game of cat and mouse. How far would he have to change your views to align with his?
“My views? Huh, I guess I haven't thought about it before.” you would laugh looking over to him. It was the first time you made real eye-contact. It felt so warm despite how cold his eyes looked. It sent an unfamiliar shiver down your spine. It shouted he was dangerous, yet you didn’t look away and continued to answer him. “I guess, I see the world as a scale. A world with evil and good? I think as the world is now. The scale is tipped in the darkness.” Fyodor would nod as if he were agreeing with you. Even if he didn’t, he wanted to make you feel safe and comfortable in his arms.
People are easier to control when they trust the person who is trying to gain control. If you opened up, he could sway and twist your own words to fit his own needs. “Then what is your ideal world?” he would often ask this question.
You would think for a moment before smiling with a hopeful glint in your eyes. “A world without suffering and pain! A world that’s just a bit less violent. It would be even on the scale. Enough evil to keep order but enough good to keep the peace. Things like the seven sins would be needed but, things like violence would be less frequent. People would feel safe walking in the night. Murders would be 1 in a million of chance. I want a peaceful world.” you would answer him honestly, and he’d hide his smirk. It would be so easy to twist your thoughts. The Armed Detective Agency stood in his way though. You believed being there would help the world; Even though that agency was filled with vile scum.
He’d begun to show you the truth, his truth. At first, he’d only suggest it. The suggestion that this violence was brought on by ability users. At first, you'd stick your tongue out and point out how you were one. When he made the assumption it was too early to begin that part of his mind game, he set his sights on bringing you closer. He wanted a step up from friends. He wanted to be able to touch you. So he slowly began to make his role in your life more prominent. “Your work, do you have a thing for anybody?” he would not be subtle with this.
When you told him you appreciate your friends there but, found you could never really love them because nobody else knew this you. He had thought you acted like this around your co-workers. Dazai could see through your ability, but it appeared that was not enough. You didn’t need an ability to pretend. That pulled his interest more. By now there was no going back. He had you in his grasp, and he would never let you go. “I don’t like anybody in that way.” when those words left your lips he would wrap his arms around you and lift your chin with a smug smirk. He’d let go immediately to watch your confusion. He would leave the bar to make sure that the moment kept its hold on you.
Just as he predicted you were distracted at work. And within the next two months, you began to trust him. Your co-workers knew nothing about this man. He had asked you to keep him from people he didn’t know. He lied about what he did for a living. He told you his work involved the government and telling anybody you knew him put himself and you in danger. So you were vague when your friends called you out on daydreaming or letting your attention drift. They asked, but you shrugged it off. When it got too much you simply came out with it. “I think I fell in love.” These words shocked even yourself. The faces of your coworkers were distant as you smiled to yourself.
He would only smirk, waiting for you that night at the bar, as if he knew nothing. He’d tease you. His body growing too close for comfort. He’d wrap strands of your hair in his fingers. Whisper little things that made you question yourself and your relationship with him. It took two months before he noticed even the smallest eye-contact would turn your face into that beautiful shade of rose. He’d lean down and finally give you what you had been wishing for. A soft peck on the lips. When you squealed in response he would snicker. “Something wrong, little mouse?” he would ask you the question waiting for your reaction. When you grew more embarrassed and attempted to hide your face, his dominance slipped from the facade he had been using around you. The glow of his eyes shaking you to your core. “It’s only natural to be so… adoring over a god.” That was the first time you had heard Fyodor call himself a god. If he did that in the start you'd have completely tossed him aside. Yet it was hypnotizing now that you had already fallen into his grasps. He always got what he wanted. Right now that was you and your ability.
The next step began in hints and murmurs. He would bring up your ideal world and put the question into your head. “What do you think makes that scale tip into evil?” when you respond with violence he’d nod and act like he was thinking. He was tricking you with terrifying ease. “This violence? Who causes it?” you would tilt your head before the answer peeked in. The one time he had mentioned abilities being at fault consuming your reason. You would argue in your mind until the answer you normally went for came to you.
“Violence is made from suffering.” you would smile and shift in your seat. You never initiated contact with him. You were too nervous too. He would hold back his agitation and nod understandingly. His hand cupping your chin to pull you to his lips. He was always rough with you; He knew how it affected you.
You kept it a secret from the agency for a while. Dazai eventually figured it out and asked if you were seeing somebody. You had only nodded and walked out to leave for the night.
It took a handful of weeks, but he did crack your mind eventually. It took some nudges, but he got you to start taking in his views. He would run a thumb over your hand and whisper things about the mafia. Like how if they didn’t have the powerful ability users they had, the crimes they committed would be punished. It would drive you to rethink your views. “So without abilities violence would be less? No, violence would be punished easier? That would lead to a decrease in crime from fear of being caught.” you would mumble your thoughts aloud unknowingly. He got pleasure from seeing you drift towards what he believed.
The next obstacle came ripping you from your current living style. You hadn’t noticed how your every free hour was spent by him. He did his work with you so sneakily, you didn’t see how you no longer had control of your life. He could get you to stay from work with a simple strand of words. He pulled you to his home one night. It was rather large compared to what you had thought. He began to show you sides of himself you haven't noticed. The sides that would have repulsed you now dragged you into him. Once you made a permanent residence in his home he began to talk about his views. You took them in and listened. Your chats were normally short. You took care of him. He smirked at how your dependence on him began to grow. You came home exhausted, and he’d plant you on his lap. His hand massaging your tired muscles.
He had to work rather hard to get you to leave the agency, but it happened. Now that you viewed ability users in the same light he did, all he had to do was show you the darker sides of your friends. Dazai’s past seemed to shatter you. You were betrayed and hurt. Fyodor did not waste a moment, he rebuilt your shattered heart around himself. He whispered how you only needed him and nobody else. You fell, trapped in that web.
At some point, you began to see him as your savior. He was the only person you trusted and didn't feel revolted by. You had stopped interacting with the outside world. There were times when you got annoyed with him and would scold him for forgetting to take meds, or stay warm. You found yourself smiling and laughing at his side. He showed you his co-workers eventually. When he had to go on trips he made sure they kept an eye on you. You could always call him if you felt down without him.
A year into this he made the move to make you permanently his. A ring on your finger. Something that made you smile with joy whenever you looked down at it. He began calling you his goddess from then on. You felt like you meant something to this world. For the first time, you were yourself without any insecurities.
He would never admit it, but that smile sent an unfamiliar flutter in his chest. He never laid a hand on you, but his words did enough. He so easily controlled you. If you displeased him he only needed to ignore you or give you a stern and cold glare. Those actions would have you on your knees, tears falling, and pleas for forgiveness leaving your lips. You never noticed how abusive this was. It may not be physically abusive, but this thing you had with your husband was most definitely mental abuse. Yet, you turned a blind eye. You never noticed. You were so starved for his love. You did anything for him.
So, when the fateful day came you pushed yourself just to achieve that perfect world. You were the key to his ascension. The key to a perfect world. The people who you once called friends came into your home threatening to take away the life that made you happy. They called you a traitor, yet Dazai took pity on how easily you had been manipulated. He could have prevented this had he seen through you. It was too late now and you’d need to be in rehab once they caught Fyodor. When those sounds reached your ears you could only panic.
Your heart raced as you ran to Fyodor. You clung onto him like a life-line. When they saw this everybody shook their heads in a clear disappointment. With riffles targeting you, Fyodor could only smirk. He looked down at you, leaning down, he kissed your cheek and whispered. “Warp this city to paradise. Can you do that for me, my little goddess?” he spoke with a false softness in his voice.
You looked to Dazai with fear, but when you blinked he saw no difference. The aim lights that had been on you and your husband shifted onto the agency. You had used your ability. Dazai knew he had to touch you to fix this. Fyodor also knew that so, he placed you behind him. Pulling a knife from his pocket, he merely smirked. “How do you plan to get over here Dazai?” he taunted before warning shots echoed and the agency members dropped to their knees. “We win.” he gave a final kick to dazai’s face. When they were cuffed and pulled away, Fyodor finally turned back to you.
You shook with fear and confusion, but the moment he wrapped you in his arms you were safe. You held onto him snuggling into his chest.
It took you two days to completely envelope Yokohama in your ability. Anybody who entered would fall victim. When you were done you fell, exhausted.
Even as the realization of what you had done enveloped you, there was no reaction. Fyodor found it upsetting at times. You were numb so often yet, in those fleeting moments where life poked in, he adored it.
This world looked perfect even though it was far from it. If anything this paradise you had made was a nightmare. There was peace and comfort; People were safe and pure. The only true evil that balanced the good of this scale were Fyodor, the demon, and his fallen angel; The god and goddess of this new paradise. He had most of the ability users wiped out, but the few who had held positions before your ability was used were kept alive.
“Look at our world, isn’t it beautiful?” he asked, whilst holding you on his lap. You merely nodded a soft, joyful glimmer appearing in your eyes before it left, just as suddenly as it appeared.
“I love you.” you would whisper the words, hoping to hear it back from his lips.
This once he thought, he’d say it just this once. “I love you too, my little mouse turned goddess.” that brought a smile to your lips. A real smile, one he hadn’t seen in ages.
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