#I love this character so much. episode 5 is everything to me. holy shit

[violetvulpini]

THE NEWEST EPISODE HELLO???? ITS SO GOOD also made me realize I never posted these old doodles anywhere. Hands them to u

#rick and morty #Evil Morty #I love this character so much. episode 5 is everything to me. holy shit #I'm still in awe they just gave us that. I absolutely love it I need to watch it a few more times #I have more old sketches but they're extremely AU-related lol #I was gonna leave that one to never see the light of day but now I'm thinking about it again... #maybe I'll give finishing up that first chp another shot #s7 is killing it I'm having so much fun #doodles

[nozunhinged]

7 BL Newbie Moments of 2023 That Altered My Brain Chemistry

So I went through all my posts since the beginning of this journey and as much as I love dumping my insanity here without context or any punctuation, I feel that a lot of my fav moments deserve a bit more love and structure.

But first I need to put a bit of context so you won't be like "who the hell do they think they are" (aside from delusional I'm nothing, I promise) and my anxious overexplainer-heart is silenced.

My first BL TV show was Only Friends and only 5 months later I'm already throat deep into it (sorry). My watchlist is so endless that I sometimes (no, regularly) genuinely fear for my sanity. I'm still learning all the names and production houses but does that stop me from starting 10 other shows? NOPE.

I'm not new to queer fan spaces (avid manga reader since the yaoi days, my first ship was taito from digimon) but I am most definitely new to the brainrot levels these shows gave me.

And believe it or not, even though my shipper heart is over a decade old, I'm new to Tumblr and the fuel this platform added to the fire could burn down entire continents.

ANYWAYS if you're still here — please enjoy Noz's 100% self-indulgent moments!

1. The End And The Beginning - Only Friends

All I did was mindlessly scroll through the tumblr trends, no idea about how this website works, still sour and sad about the loss of my twitter bubble thanks to the elopocalypse—little did I know that fate would lead me to the wonderful world of BL shows! It was like this moment in isekai-esque movies where you get sucked into a world and you go WOOAAH once you arrive.

There was this show—on YouTube—100% unapolagetic about sex, relationships and queerness. Five minutes into the first episode, someone asks if they can bring their boyfriend to a hookup. This was ALL of my wildest dreams come true! Oh boy, was I naive.

I feel like Only Friends had me speedrun the whole BL industry. Branded pairs, production houses, fanservice, obsessive fans & haters, audience reactions influencing the storyline, EVERYTHING happened during Only Friends and I was just like "what the hell is going on here?" It was like the perfect case study for literally everything. Honestly I still don't really understand what's going on.

Unfortunately, this also led to the awful ending I erased from my brain and don't want to get into, I'm just gonna say Boston I will never forgive the writers for what they did to you. I dropped that show like a hot potato, filtered all possible tags and moved on — or so I thought.

I feel like I'm trying to recreate that first excitement when I discovered OF. But 20 shows later, I'm still not there. Does this make me sound like an addict? Yes, and this is why Only Friends EP 1 is my No. 1 moment that altered my brain chemistry.

2. The Boeing Incident - Only Friends

I talked about it just yesterday and I need to do it again because Boeing was the beginning of a thing that thought I'd never be capable of: lusting after real person TV characters. I talked about it in length here and here so the only thing I'm gonna add just for good measure is that I'd do anything, anything for a BostonBeoingNOZ threesome. Holy shit I'm cringing just writing this down but I need to get my point across.

3. Still Looking For That Kiss - Love in The Air

I know this is a general experience at this point but the chemistry between the couples in Love In The Air opened a whole knew world for me. I thought I knew chemistry but when I saw them, I realized I knew NOTHING.

It may sound weird but I'm still looking for that perfect kiss that's hitting all the right neurons in my brain. I have a hunch that one of these two pairs will deliver them one day, but until then I NEED to watch a million kisses for research.

This post by @talistheintrovert explains perfectly what I think about kissing in shows. Ji Chang Wook is still the blueprint for me.

But do I have a favorite BL kiss so far? Yes, yes I do. It's this ShinPeach beauty.

4. Main Lead Syndrome - Kiseki: Dear To Me

I am a second lead, side couple enby before I am human but I will defend these two until the end of time. My TL is flooded with Chen Yi, Ai Di, Nat and Louis while these two are over here falling in love over strawberry cake, cat analogies, failed cooking and all sorts of memory loss. Zongyi opened a fucking bakery for his babygirl and Zerui pretended to be a pretty dumdum to protect the love of his life.

I don't care how much you all love the two dumb (affectionately) gangsters, these two deserve the world, end of story. Also Kai Hsu and Taro Lin are bff's irl now, Taro said that Kai helped him get out of a very bad mental tate and I take that very personally.

5. The Fanservice is Fanservicing - Kiseki: Dear To Me

Speaking of Taro and Kai, the fact that I even know that they're bff's is another brainaltering moment that needs recognition because months later it led me to this TikTok of two actors I don't know of a show I don't watch, staring at them for ages and really considering watching it just because of it.

That is the power of fanservice my friends and I can put on my clownmask now because I avidly screamed left and right that fanservice should be forbidden when I learned about it. I blame Kiseki for that. But my point still stands, I hate actors doing stuff they're uncomfortable with. I just hope they're all friends and have fun and get that coin.

6. The One Just For Me - Playboyy

I've been lurking around Playboyy from the moment I found out they have the same writer as OF. And boy did it deliver so far! I already wrote a bunch here about which role Playboyy plays for me, but it's also a wonderful case study for my producer heart — watching the acting, directing, lighting, sets, props and storyline interact is fascinating.

People say the less you notice the better the show, which is correct, but I love all the flaws of this piece of media. IMHO it's the last puzzlepiece of the amazing, important social commentary the show delivers. All of the topics the couples represent need to get their very own show.

7. The Holy Grail - The Sign

Speaking of the less you notice — this is the sign for The Sign (again, sorry). There's a reason this show is loved and praised so widely because the production is on a whole other level. Adding the beautiful story on top of that, we have the potential for a holy grail here and I'm so in for the ride.

I keep saying I've entered the world of BL in it's absolute golden era. Never in a million years did I think I'd watch 5 shows simultaneosly but I love every single one of them so much I keep a whole spreadsheet on how I can be on time for every premiere every week alongside my work schedule.

Honorable mentions

KinnPorsche: VegasPete were my first dark, angsty, morally questionable couple ever (I'm a sissy okay)

Last Twilight: When I watched Extraordinary Attorney Woo, I cried several times about the wonderful media representation of disability. It means so much to me and Last Twilight is on par with that.

Bake Me Please: Thank you for giving me this beautiful kiss

Manner of Death: Thank you MaxTul for making gay makeouts fashionable

Bad Buddy: The one time I was glad I persisted so I could watch them most adorable phone scene on the planet

I Feel You Linger In The Air: It was too painful for me to finish but I loved the show with my whole heart and it deserves all the awards it got.

Kimi ni Todokanai: Japanese shows just hit different. I'll never get over the kissing Taiyaki.

The Novelist Series: THIS is how you kiss the one you're horny for my friends. Take notes directors.

Semantic Error: My fav webtoon -> Got Viki for the Series -> Found the BL corner of Viki -> Drew my attention to Tumblr -> This post.

Thank you for being the butterfly of my butterfly effect.

And thank YOU if you read until here! To a even more wonderful queer year 2024! I'm so ready for this ride.

#only friends the series #only friends #kiseki: dear to me #love in the air #love in the air the series #playboyy #playboyy the series #the sign #the sign the series #thai bl #japanese bl

[narrynukezankielover]

Again these are my personal opinions or what I personally see or think as someone seeing these episodes for the first time.

To begin with the episode where Dean and Sam die and go to heaven. I love when someone else talks about Cas and only looks at Dean. The angel told Dean and Sam that god had done a lot for them but he was looking directly at Dean while saying that god had saved him, put them on a plane and brought Cas back for you. Then turned to Sam to say after everything he’s done. That sounds like god brought Cas back because he knows how much Cas means to Dean. Otherwise he would’ve been looking between the two of them.

Then the necklace. Up until now that necklace was a brotherly connection between Dean and Sam. Like I think Dean didn’t want to give it to Cas in the first place because Sam gave it to him. It’s special to him but once he gave it to Cas it meant hope. Hope that god would help. Then when they found out god didn’t really care yes it hurt Dean but what I think hurt Dean more was that Cas lost his faith in god. It’s like as long as Cas has hope Dean has hope. Then when Dean threw away the necklace the look on Sams face was like “you’re seriously throwing that out? I gave that to you.”

To me Becky represents the Jared or the J2 fans. The ones that think Jared is everything. Even the ones that ship Dean and Sam. I’m not going to lie the scene where she’s writing a sexual fan fic about them makes me want to throw up. They’re brothers fake brothers in a tv show but it’s still disgusting. Then Cas expresses how much he hates Sams voice and tells him not to ask stupid questions. It made me bust out laughing but it felt like Cas represents the other side of the fandom. I just had to put that in there because I love Cas honesty with that stuff and I had to agree with him.

So far my fave’s 2 episodes are the Jimmy episode and season 5 episode 18 which I believe is also the 100th episode. There is soooo much Destiel in it. I knew about these scenes I just didn’t realize they were all in the same episode.

Dean telling Cas to blow him got him this look. Cas kept this look for a few seconds. It’s like wait that’s a sexual thing right? Did you really just say that? The guy is really confused.

The “not for nothing Cas but last time someone looked at me like that I got laid” scene. HOLY SHIT. That was clearly flirting not a joke. Sam even gave Dean a “are you seriously flirting right now” look.

(Sorry about the stuff in that picture I took it while I was watching the episode and clearly forgot to take it off). Then Dean gave Cas this smirk and a wink which looks like it might’ve been Jensen trying to make Misha laugh which could be why Cas look became even more intense. Could’ve been Misha trying hard to stay in character. Either way that’s some serious flirting.

Later Cas got worried about Dean and what I love is that when he heard something inside the room he opened the eye door but when he couldn’t see Dean he got really worried and had to go in. If it was anyone else in there Cas would’ve said it was a trap and left them alone but he couldn’t take that chance with Dean. I’m still trying to figure out tho how Sam left to find Dean a few seconds later yet Cas found him in no time (how did Cas know where to find Dean? Suppose it could’ve been he just went to the closest religious person. I love Cas honesty here telling the guy he prays too loudly) and Sam was back at Bobbys house when Cas and Dean got back. He didn’t spend much time looking for Dean.

It’s not a sexual scene but it sure looks like it. Cas pushing Dean around telling him yet again how much he’s pissed that he rebelled for Dean so he wouldn’t have to say yes to Michael but yet here he is going to do it anyway. Dean didn’t even try to fight back. Don’t know if he knew Cas is a lot stronger than him and didn’t see the point in fighting back but knowing Dean I can’t see that being it. Or if what Cas was saying was finally getting through to his head and maybe thought he deserved what was happening and let Cas make the decision in this moment that he wasn’t saying yes right now.

I know the last episode of season 5 was supposed to be the last episode but some of it is just weird. Dean looked back at Cas sleeping and said “ain’t he a little angel.” Dean sounds so cute when he said that. It reminds me of in Good Omens Crowley calls Aziraphale angel all the time. At first it was because Aziraphale is an actual angel but over time it became a cute nickname like sweetie or honey. In this scene it felt like a cute nickname instead of just that Cas is an angel. Of course Sam ruined the moment when he said “angels don’t sleep.” Dean then looked confused and worried. The thing that pisses me off is that Sam made Dean promise to go to Lisa and have a life with her. It pisses me off because Dean didn’t say he wanted that life plus you just heard Dean saying something sweet about Cas and he thought it was a good time to bring this up. Really makes me want to punch Sam. Sam wants that life but he pushed that life on Dean in a promise. When they were in heaven Deans heaven was being with Sam but Sam’s heaven was being away from his actual family but being with a family. They really were going to let the show end with Dean liveing Sams happy ending. I’m trying to forget that shit happened but the fact that Dean didn’t want it makes it a bit easier. At least they didn’t try to say it was Deans idea.

#castiel #cockles #dean winchester #dean x castiel #destiel #ineffable husbands #crowley x arizaphale #aziracrow

[thesoftboiledegg]

This was such a great episode! I expected crazy shit to happen, especially with the hyper-realistic video game. I was like, "OK, this entire episode is going to turn out to be a simulation" and was pleasantly surprised when the "hyper-realism" was just a joke.

Anyway, it makes me so happy that Beth is bisexual. I figured she was, but the show never stated it either way. That's four out of five--only Morty is left. And to be honest, I think he's bisexual after his weird, unexplained obsession with Bruce Chutback in season 5, but the episode didn't outright say it.

I loved watching Beth and Space Beth fall for each other and go on dates. And OK, they're the same person, but they've made different choices and had wildly different life experiences. This created some tension and intrigue because they're not just repeating the same words and phrases back to each other like an echo.

Sarah Chalke gave a great performance, too. I'd say this is easily her best performance in the entire show. The dialogue was so natural that it sounded like it came from a live-action drama and not a cartoon. Rick and Morty has always had decent dialogue--and Rick in particular sounds like a real person talking at times--but this was another level of realism.

These new writers definitely know what they're doing. Damn.

I could NOT believe it when Rick said that he's fooled around with other Ricks. Holy shit. I actually paused and rewound the video because I was like "...did he seriously just say that?" It's been part of fandom culture for years, but I NEVER thought it would be in the show. Especially with C-137, who's a notorious Rick killer and hates them almost as much as he hates himself.

This makes me so happy! And it's yet another confirmation that Rick is pansexual. Give it up, homophobic fans, because the evidence just keeps mounting.

And like the other episodes in seasons 5 and 6, "Bethic Twinstinct" shows a new side of Rick--someone who's calmer, more patient and willing to help his family instead of just taking what he wants, then throwing a hissy fit when they get sick of it.

Rick's relationship with Jerry is changing, too. He says that he installed the "pillbug protocol" because he got drunk with Jerry one night (that's pretty big in itself) and installed the protocol because Jerry said that's what he "wanted most in the world." Rick wasn't being an asshole. He actually gave Jerry something that he wanted.

And yeah, Rick could be lying, but I think he's telling the truth this time.

Overall, this episode was a good combination of everything. Beth exploring various aspects of her personality, Rick bonding with Beth and his grandkids, Jerry letting out his frustration instead of being passive. Admittedly, Morty and Summer didn't do much, but they were still fun. I enjoyed the meta jokes about how they've had a million Thanksgivings and don't even know how old they are at this point.

This episode didn't explain those creepy posters where Space Beth appears to be controlling her family, so I'm guessing she'll turn up again--and this time, it might not be so friendly.

Anyway, the one part I disliked was the ending. The implication was "Haha yeah, Jerry's got two hot wives that will fool around in front of him." Normally, I'd call it lowkey sexist, but this episode did have Beth and Space Beth exploring a romantic relationship without Jerry's involvement. Still, I'm not a fan. I guess they're cucking Jerry in there? lmao.

Some might dislike this comparison, but Rick and Morty is starting to remind me of Moral Orel, especially with this episode in particular. Both shows start off as rambunctious comedies but explore more mature and dramatic themes as they go on. Honestly, "Bethic Twinstinct" wasn't that funny, but the character development is a worthy trade-off for me.

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #beth smith #jerry smith #bethic twinstinct #review

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Disappointing Doom

Feb 2023 Wk 3

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

My School President (Fri YT) ep 12fin - Them openly dating and flirting with each other (finally) while keeping it “secret” was hilarious. No surprise they got outed tho. The whole “coming out homophobic teacher” sequence was very extra but suited this show. And ending with prom could not be more YA. Plus smiley kisses! 

CONCLUSION?

GMMTV gave us a classic high school set Thai BL with tropes like messy boys singing their feelings that was Love Sick for the modern age with all the gentle sweetness and pining ache, but none of the dated damaging tropes or issues.  Yes, we’ve seen it all before, but this is me: I ADORE this shit. Who let my BL be this wholesome and funny? This show was fantastic, it’s only flaw was the singing (and that’s my baggage). My favorite GMMTV offering to date. 9/10 (could go as high as 9.5 on my more forgiving days) 

Bed Friend (Sat YT, GaGa & iQIYI uncut) ep 2 of 8 - I’m ending my week with this one these days. I feel like this is an EXCELLENT life decision. King’s pining is WBL levels of EPIC. Uea’s ma may be the worst ma in Thai BL (and that’s some stiff competition.) Ah getting tested together, such a right of passage. I like King a lot, his attitude, life philosophy, the way he looks an Uea, everything. This show is GREAT. 

Bed Friend extra sexy bits explained:

YouTube has the cut version with slightly less sexy content (this is what I’m mostly watching). 

GaGa ALSO has the cut version, BUT they have “extra clips” with the uncut content, you’ll need to find and watch them separately. 

iQIYI has the uncut version with the above mentioned extra sexy bits integrated back into the full episode.

Okay? 

Okay.

Moonlight Chicken (Weds YT) eps 5-6 of 8 - The break up btw Wen & Alan was really hard to watch, both actors are so good. Speaking of good actors, where did GeminiFourth come from? Seriously? I love these characters almost as a much as TinnGun. Heart’s parents are EVIL. Told ya they’d kiss as this couple bf TinnGun. Back of head wrap ‘Kiss’ tho, haven’t seen one of those from Thailand in ages. Old school. And then Khaotung just broadsides us with PAIN. This is such an aces show, but it is A LOT. 

Never Let Me Go (Tues YT) ep 11 of 12 - More cute BF intercut with agony. Holy role reversal dad butler! Otherwise a somewhat lackluster ep 11 of DOOM as dooms go, but I’m okay with that. 

Chains of Heart (Sat iQIYI) 1-2 of 10 - This is a suspense thriller about smugglers, amnesia, and lost love. Haii is good (and gorgeous) in the lead but the story is choppy, disjoined, and confusing. May be intentional, bad writing, or the captions being particularly bad (or all 3). It’s an interesting and different start. Not good but interesting. It reminds me a little of Manner of Death only with better action sequences. But I’m not sold on it because MoD had MaxTul, and this... does not. Ep 2 did not improve matters. When Ken & Lue flirt it’s fine and the Thai food bits were fun. (Kao Soi is one of my fav northern dishes, I’m sad he didn’t get to finish it.) At the funeral, why are they all texting when it can be traced and they could just be talking to each other? Honestly, everybody behaves like an idiot in this show. So I guess this is a revenge narrative? I’m so confused. They pretty tho, so I’ll keep watching because I am weak, but if you can wait, I think this is one that’s gonna be better as a binge. 

Our Winter (Thai & Korea YT & TikTok under ThaiMiniSeries) eps 1-7 of 14 - TutorYim microseries, told in vertical (TikTok) shorts. (Thanks to the BL spies for reporting in.) Cute Trope snippits but Korean is HARD to understand with a Thai accent. I’m not watching it with Eng subs and I’m not wild about this style short form but still - cute. Funny how they styled TutorYim so that they look slightly Korean - wardrobe and makeup wizardry. 

Hit Bite Love (Sat YT) ep 6 fin - Degrassi Junior BL concludes in a very soap opera way, with new characters and new/extra drama. Trigger warning on the original trigger. The investigating cop was super hot tho. Can we give him a BL? Also I liked the final scene makeup tons. But honestly what a total mess. I don’t know what i just watched and neither does it. 3/10 (sorry babies)  

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 5: Love in the Future (Taiwan Weds Viki) ep 9 of 10 (or 17&18 of 20) - Kind of a filler ep and lackluster for a penultimate DOOM installment. But the HIStory franchise gets this way sometimes. 

Jack o’Frost (Japan GaGa) ep 2 of 6 - I’m finding it a bit dull. 

It’s Airing But ...

My Beautiful Man 2 (Viki & Gaga) - Because there are only 4 eps, I’m waiting to binge this.

Boyband ep 2 of 10 - Stopped airing on YouTube, and only available in Thailand & Japan. Not sure if they’re working a distribution deal or just fucking with us. 

Destiny Seeker (Tues WeTV ) 10 eps - it’s not on any WeTV I can get ahold of. Bad Buddy the pulp rebirth meets Japanese handsome host club action. FairyGodBLer came through for me, but I’m collecting to binge just in case. It’s my new policy with the grey stuff. 

Cafe In Love (Thai) 10 eps on Ch3+ - Thai pulp, about trying to save a coffee shop. Same as above. 

Gossip

Thailand’s famous gay pink milk comes to Oakland, CA, USA. This amuses me greatly. And yes, next time I’m in the area, I’ll probably try to hunt it down.  (What is Pink Milk?) 

Kim Ji Woong is doing fine on Produce 101 5 Boys Planet. I agree with the pundits that he’ll likely make it through. (Yes, I think he’s a better actor than idol, and yes, we will mostly lose him from BL if he goes all in with whatever group results from this.) But does that matter when Peak Time is also airing? No, because Peak Time is MUCH better and more interesting show and it has Karam (Happy Ending Romance) fucking KILLING IT. You all know I love Leo’s voice but clearly VIXX-euphoria distracted me, because I had no idea Karam was such a stable vocalist. He’s insane and it’s fun to watch a 2nd gen fucking SERVE it up (have you ANY idea how hard Mirotic is to do LIVE?). 

In case you missed it 

Viki has acquired the airing rights to Advance Bravely. We can’t expect it to be much altered, but at least it will be legally available, and one hopes the subs will improve.

Viki added The Eighth Sense to their upcoming KBL roster, new one to me. “A university romance about the confusion often felt by college youth regarding life and love.” 

KBL A Shoulder to Cry On AKA Comfort the Boy coming to Viki, March 13. (MUCH anticipated by me, this is a high school set hurt/comfort delayed by OMGEA X scandal.) This will be the first BL to star idols from the same group! Fingers crossed it’s good because this is a group that definitely needs BL’s support. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

02/28 = Tin Tam Jai (Thai Gaga & iQIYI) 10 eps - Adorable Tin has a life-long dream to marry an older boy in his neighborhood, Park. Same production co as Coffee Melody & Ai Long Nhai. I'll likely binge it.

03/01 = The Promise, (Thai WeTV) 10 eps - friends-to-lovers, follow up to a previously aired miniseries Phupha | Nanfah. Because of this and the WeTV platform I likely won’t bother.

03/02 = All the Liquors (Korea Gaga & Viki) 8 eps - Liquor company rep and party boy Han Ji Yu buts heads with hot chef Park Ki Hoon, who doesn't drink.

03/02 = Heesu In Class 2 (Korea unknown prob Viki and/or Gaga) - A gay(er) version of Sex Education. I’m still not sure this one is actually happening. 

03/03 = A Boss and a Babe (Thai YouTube) 12 eps - ForceBook in an office set boss/employee rom-com. 

03/04 = Love Syndrome (Thai unknown prob iQIYI or Gaga) 10 eps - trailer, violent, hot/cold, hurt/comfort, amnesia. (Stars Frank formerly of FrankDrake.)

Full list of upcoming in March 2023 is here. 

2023 forthcoming BL master post. (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

That tentative hand GOT me bad. 

I love it when a character call’s out another character’s main characteristics. Very meta. (Moonlight Chicken.) 

OMG hot cop! 

Make up game ON POINT. 

(Hit Bite Love.) 

SO GOOD. (Bed Friend) 

(last week)

Current Kpop(ish) earworm? SHAUN & Jeff Satur - Steal The Show, you should watch it ALL THE WAY to the end, just trust me. Have I ever led you astray?

No.

Don’t answer that. 

#this week in BL #bl news #BL gossip #upcoming BL #best BL #new BL #BL reviews #Thai BL #korean bl #Taiwanese BL #Japanese BL #live action yaoi #Rakutan Viki #gagaoolala #GMMTV #Kpop earworm #My School President #Bed Friend #GeminiFourth #tinngun #NetJames #Moonlight Chicken #EarthMix #Never Let Me Go #Chains of Heart #Our Winter #Hit Bite Love #why is the cop so hot #HIStory 5: Love in the Future #Jack o’Frost

[thisisarcanereverie]

When the World Went to Shit (Chapter 5)

Joel Miller x FEM! Reader

A/N: this is a SPOILER WARNING, this contains spoliers from the third episode (and more to come). This is a day late, watched episode 5 last night for the first time and I needed a moment oh my god. I was barely ready to write about episode 3, now I have to look forward to episode 5. I am already in tears over it.

WARNINGS: Canon level of violence, swears, reader is ready to fight a goddamn child, Joel is sad, talks of grief, PTSD, brief mentions of gore, Eventual Smut, pining (on both ends), grumpy idiots in love, reader is in her late 30's to early to mid 40's. Major character deaths. DISCLAIMER NO CHARACTERS/GIFS/PICS USED ARE MINE.

Summary: 20 years later after the world went to shit you, Joel, and Tess have to take 14 year old Ellie to the Firefly base outside of Boston QZ. What was supposed to be a simple plan turned into something much more complicated.

Prev. Chapter

After leaving the station you continued on your walk, you were thankful for the decent weather at least. No rain or snow or anything really that could slow you down. Once again you were looking around your surroundings, careful to make sure there were no signs of any other person using this trail but you and Joel. 

“So…” Ellie started, “how did you guys meet?” she kicked a rock further down the road, one that she had been kicking since a few yards back. 

“That’s a random question.” You said, looking at her. 

“Well it’s going to be a while until we reach Bill and Franks,” Ellie pointed out, kicking the rock again, “and it’s been killing me, I wanna know!” 

“Well,” you started since you knew Joel wouldn’t answer, “we met before the outbreak.” 

“But how long before the outbreak?” 

“It was 1984.” you said doing the math in your head, “so that would’ve been 18 years or so before the outbreak.” You see her jaw drop and stop kicking the rock. 

“Wow,” Ellie gawked, “you both are old, like dinosaur old.” you rolled your eyes and slightly pushed her shoulder. 

“Not that old,” You said before pretending to think, “well maybe except Joel.” 

“Ha ha ha,” Joel laughed dryly, “good one.” You smiled behind him as you turned to Ellie who was smiling too. 

“So that means Joel is older than you?” 

“By six or seven odd years,” You said, “his brother Tommy was a friend of mine.” 

“How old is Tommy?” 

“Let’s get off the subject,” Joel said. You could see his shoulders stiffen at the mention of Tommy. When everything went down and Tommy joined the Firefly’s Joel was livid with him. They were barely on speaking terms before he left and it broke your heart to see the two brothers dissolved into that. 

“Holy shit,” you heard Ellie say as she rushed to the side of the road where a small clearing of trees were. An airplane wreckage, when you were younger you were terrified of them but what you wouldn’t give to see a functional one up in the air. You looked over your right to see Joel standing beside you, you wonder if Joel ever reminisced about random, mundane things and missed it like you did. Like running late to work because of traffic so you were forced to listen to the radio as it cleared out, or seeing that one old couple on your way to work that always asked you how your day was. Just the little things like that, that used to be annoying or sweet but were taken advantage of. 

“Have you ever flown in one of those?” Ellie asked her eyes never leaving the ruins. 

“Sure,” Joel answered, “a few times.” 

“So lucky.”

“It didn’t feel like it at the time,” Joel said, his eyes never leaving the plane either, “get shoved into a middle seat and pay 12 bucks for a sandwich.”

“What airline did you use? because that’s fucking criminal.” you asked, sure they put you in crappy middle seats  but  at least they didn’t overcharge you for a crappy sandwich. 

“Dudes,” Ellie said, you looked at her to see her no longer looking at the wreckage but at you and Joel, “you guys got to go up in the sky,”

You looked at the wreckage again, and much like your world it was broken and had casualties. You remember watching the planes dropping from the sky like fiery falling stars. But only they screamed, and burned as they crashed, killing in its wake. 

“So did they.” Joel said before continuing the walk, Ellie followed him soon after. You stayed there a moment, had you not canceled your flight that day you could’ve been among those people, amongst all those fiery inferno’s. It was a grim thought, it was even more grim to wonder if you would have been better off if you had. 

You took one last look of it as you caught up with the other two, something bothering you in the back of your mind. 

You walked further along, sometimes you would take the front and Joel would walk behind you with Ellie or he would walk ahead. Something bothered you about that crash, a mental note you made that seemed to elude you. 

“So everything came crashing down in one day?” 

“Pretty much.” 

“How?” Ellie asked, “I mean, no one was infected with the Cordyceps, everyone is fine, eating in restaurants and flying in planes, and then what? It just happened all at once? How did it even start?” There were a lot of rumors, but no one really knew for sure. “If you have to get bitten to be infected, then who bit the first person? A monkey, I’m willing to bet it was a monkey.” 

“It wasn’t a monkey,” Joel groaned, “I thought you went to school?”

“FEDRA school,” Ellie explained, “They didn’t teach us how their shitty government failed to prevent a pandemic.” You wouldn’t expect them to either, their educational system left things to be desired. There was a silence that fell, the start of the end wasn’t something you liked to talk about more than anyone else. It brought back memories that made your heart ache, it brought back your mother and how you never got the chance to tell her goodbye. 

“No one knows for sure,” Joel explained, “but the best guess was that the cordyceps mutated and some of it got into the food supply. Probably a basic ingredient like flour or sugar, there were certain types of food that were sold everywhere, all across the country and world. Bread, cereal…pancake mix.” Joel hesitated before listing the last item, something that you didn’t have the heart to ask about, knowing it was something he probably didn’t want to share. However, he had that look in his eye, the one full of grief and rage. The look he only got when he remembered Sarah, and what happened to her. “If you eat enough of it’ll get you infected. So all the tainted foods hit the store shelves around the same time thursday, people bought it, that very night people ate with that food or early Friday morning. Day goes on, people get sick, day goes on even further they get even more sick…and then they start biting…Friday night September 26, 2003 is the night the world went to shit and by Monday everything was gone.” 

You remembered why that crash bugged you so much and the note you mentally made as a landmark between here and where you were heading. Your eyes widened as you remembered what you were going to pass in just a few short miles. You turned to look at Joel, who seemingly remembered too as he put a hand in front of the small girl. 

There was a long, drawn out silence, one not even Ellie would dare break as she comprehended what she was told. You assumed in FEDRA School they mainly taught locations of things and how to kill. Not how all of this happened in the first place.

There was something bugging you, like a nat you couldn’t swat away. That mental note you made alluding to you until you see a tree with one lone arrow sticking from it. It had been yours when you still had a crossbow. 

“We’ll cut across the woods here,” Joel said, pointing to the other trail. He didn’t want Ellie to see it either, which didn’t surprise you. When both he and Tess took you the first time he tried to hide the horrors ahead from you as well. 

“Isn’t the road easier?” Ellie asked. She wasn’t wrong, the road was the easiest way, without all the branches and twists and turns. But what laid up the road was something you didn’t want her to see, it was something a girl her age shouldn’t ever have to see. 

“Yeah it’s just…” Even Joel was at a loss for words as to describe the scene ahead. “There’s stuff up there that you shouldn’t have to see.” 

“Well now I have to see.” 

“No,” You said firmly, looking at her, “no you don’t.” 

“We don’t want you too,’ Joel added. But in your limited amount of time with Ellie you knew that once she made up her mind there was no talking her out of it. So it didn’t surprise you when Ellie ignored you and continued along, this time she was in front of you. 

“Serious, Ellie” Joel said, his voice slightly raised, “there are some things you shouldn’t have to see.” 

“Can it hurt me?” Ellie asked. 

“No,”

“You’re too honest man!” Ellie said as she turned briefly to face your worried faces before returning to the road ahead of her, “should’ve said ax murderer.” you both looked at each other in defeat, knowing that it wasn’t going to be long until she came across what you were trying to protect her from.

Sure enough, you arrived at the makeshift burial ground. Only nothing was buried and the corpses of defenseless families laid where they fell at the hands of FEDRA soldiers years ago. When you first saw it you could feel your anger towards FEDRA rise. They were all people once, people who trusted FEDRA to keep them safe only for that trust to be repaid by a bullet in  their heads. You tried to not look at the rainbow wrapped baby in the decomposed arms of who you assumed was its mother. You look at the short brunette who went silent, her eyes taking in the sight in front of her. Bill told you about these people, how they had been his neighbors. You realized that FEDRA only drove them until the edge of town before executing them. 

You stood next to Ellie, who you were sure had a million questions after seeing this. 

Or maybe only one. 

“About a week after Outbreak day,” you started, “soldiers went through the countryside and evacuated small towns and told them they were going to a QZ…they were if there was room. If there wasn’t any then this happened.” 

“These people weren’t sick?” Ellie asked. 

“No,” you breathed, “most likely not.” 

“Why kill them?” Ellie's eyes narrowed the more she looked at the bodies, “why not just let them be?” 

“The dead can’t be infected.” You didn’t sugarcoat it, it wasn’t something you could even if you tried. You patted her arm to keep going, the longer you stayed here the longer you wished you could’ve beaten that FEDRA soldier instead of Joel. 

The rest of the way was silent for the most part, Ellie not really being in the mood to ask more questions or to make conversation and you couldn’t blame her. Instead of being worried you were thankful for the silence. Instead you tried to focus on something else other than what you saw back there. Your eyes instinctively went back to Joel, who was quiet, almost pensive. The Joel you grew up with could never have stayed silent for too long, but of course what did you know? You were more Tommy’s friend back then, or at least Tommy was closer in age than Joel was. It was mostly you and him sneaking into movie theaters to watch movies you weren’t allowed to see, or TP someone’s house during Halloween. When you both graduated school you went on to college while he went into the army, Tommy did always want to change the world. Naturally you grew apart, with your focus on your studies and the limited letters that came in, you both lost touch, only regaining it when you’re nearly 30, widowed, and the world was on fire.

Life was funny like that sometimes. 

It wasn’t long until you got to Bill and Franks, you were half expecting Bill to be on the other side of the gate already asking in his paranoid way who the girl with you was. However, Bill couldn’t move around like he used to and neither could Frank. So when you saw that they weren’t there it didn’t surprise you, when you arrived Joel pushed in the number code and the gate buzzed unlocked. You held open the door for Ellie and walked inside yourself. At first everything seemed alright, but as you approached the house your stomach dropped to your feet and you went cold. The flowers on the porch were dying, even after Frank could no longer move Bill always made sure that the flowers were watered so that Frank would have something beautiful to look at. A million thoughts ran through your mind, what if Bill had fallen? What if something worse happened?

You got your gun out, holding it in your hand steadily as you turned to Joel. 

“Something isn’t right.” You said, “the flowers were dying and Bill wasn’t there to meet us at the gate.” 

“I agree,” Joel said, “but it isn’t too out of place for Bill not to meet us there.” 

“Have you ever known Bill to take kindly to strangers he doesn’t know?”

“Good point.” Joel got his gun out as well as he went through the door first, leaving you second to enter. At first nothing seemed wrong, it was just silent. You figured if you were going to get attacked, it would’ve happened by now. 

“Try the bedroom,” You told Joel as you put your gun in your pocket, “I’ll see about the greenhouse.” Joel nodded as he made his way down the hallway, but before you made it to the back door you saw the accent table in the hallway. You thought for sure that you were seeing things until you wiped your finger across only to leave a mark. Dust. You’ve never known this house to get dusty, or cold, but damn was it cold in here. It was too cold for Frank, his condition tended to flare up in the cold it was almost downright torture for him. Panic started to fill you as you went into the dining room, once again there was dust, but also rotten food. 

“What the fuck.” Ellie says, astonished, though you could barely hear her over the light pounding in your ears. You looked at the food, dust, and dying flowers, all of it couldn’t have compiled more than maybe a couple of weeks at most. 

“I can’t get the door open,” Joel said coming into the dining room, “any luck in the greenhouse?” You didn’t say anything as your mind tried to comprehend what deep in your heart, you knew. 

They’re gone.

“Uhh,” You turned to Ellie who held an opened letter and a single key, “it’s addressed to you guys.” You looked at the envelope, 

To whomever, but probably Joel 

Bill’s handwriting. 

“It’s from Bill,” she said as you saw her eyes dart as she read the lines before looking up at you. “It came with this,” she handed him the key she was holding. 

“So they’re dead?” Joel asked, Ellie looked apologetic as she nodded. 

“You wanna read?” she asked, Joel looked at you but you shook your head, Joel then nodded for Ellie to read. 

“August 29th, 2023” Ellie began. 

“If you find this…please do not come into the bedroom. We left a window open so the house wouldn’t smell, but it will probably be a sight. I’m guessing you found this Joel, because anyone else would’ve been electrocuted or blown up by one of my traps, hehehehehehe. Take anything you need, the bunker code is the same code for the gate but in reverse…Anyway, I never liked you, but still it’s like we’re friends…almost. And I respect you, So I’m gonna tell you something because you’re probably the only person who will understand. I used to hate the world and I was happy when everyone died…but I was wrong, because there was one person worth saving. That’s what I did, I saved him, and then I protected him. That’s why men like you and me are here, we have a job to do. 

And god help any motherfuckers who stand in our way. 

I leave you all of my weapons and equipment, use them to keep-” 

Ellie stopped suddenly, her eyes darting between you and Joel. You were about to ask what it said when Joel took it, reading it silently. 

“What does it say?” You ask, you could see a tense expression on his face as he ignored you. “Joel, what does it say?” he ignored you again, you were about to grab it when he moved it out of your reach. You could feel a tightening feeling in your chest as your eyes narrowed on him, “Joel, what does it say.”  he refused to look at you. You were about to ask and reach for it again when Ellie spoke up. 

“It said to keep Tess safe.” Ellie said, you turned to face her as Joel put the letter in his pocket. You felt your mouth go dry at her name and your heart break a little more as you understand what Bill said. He knew, and you were willing to bet Frank did as well. 

You were silent for a moment, turning away from Joel and Ellie as you gathered what strength you could. 

“Stay here.” 

You calmly walked out the door and to the side of the house, where they couldn’t see you and you let loose the tears that had been building up ever since you left Boston. You cried as you remembered how you failed to protect Tess and how it should’ve been you, you cried for Frank and Bill and you wished you could’ve done more for them. You let it all out, leaning against the house for support. You didn't cry like this, not since the outbreak. But every feeling you bottled until now seemed to overflow as you cried until your eyes were sore. 

When you came back Ellie was in the shower and you assumed Joel was checking out the supplies, so you decided to look around to see if there was anything else that you might need laying around. Hopefully they would both be busy enough that by the time they see you your eyes would be less tender and inflamed. You saw a box of clothes labeled ‘women’. They probably gathered this at the boutique so that you or Tess could go through it and get what you wanted. You were in need of some new clothes, the ones you were wearing were covered in grime and dirt. You searched and found a faded green henley, a new jacket, along with jeans, all new. You also found a few other changes of clothing that you would take with you along with some much needed underwear and bra. You were thankful that they thought of this, considering that this was only supposed to be an overnight job you didn’t pack accordingly in terms of clothes. You packed the other pair of jeans and shirt into your bag along with the two pairs of underwear and socks. They didn’t take up much room in your bag, which you were grateful for, and by the time you had gotten to the closet where he kept the toilet paper you heard Ellie come out of the shower. 

“Already snagged three rolls,” She said as she strolled past you, still drying her hair. “The shower is open if you want to get in. There should still be hot water left.” 

“Yeah,” you said quietly hoping your voice wouldn’t betray you, “I think I will, thanks.” You would try not to take too much time, out of all three of you Joel probably needed the shower the most. You would die for Joel, but dude needs all the hot water he could get. 

You grabbed your new pair of clothes and headed for the still steamy bathroom, you sighed as you already felt the tension that stored in your back release a little as you peeled your previous clothes off your body and hopped into the shower. 

As promised the shower didn’t last long, ten minutes at most. Enough to clean yourself and let the hot water relax your nerves. Even when you were going through school and the stress of multiple papers loomed over your head, you seemed to calm down when the water hit you. 

You brushed your teeth after and dried yourself, and after making sure that the floor was dry and that there was still hot water left for Joel you exited the bathroom, dressed in your henley and jeans. Part of you wanted to stay here. To bury Bill and Frank and live here away from the QZ, away from the enormous amounts of clickers and infected. But you couldn’t, there were too many memories here. And you wouldn’t disrespect Frank and Bill and move them, you just wouldn’t. Besides, the wiring on the fence was getting old, it probably had another few years before it would need to be replaced.

When you came back down you could see Ellie walking away from the desk. You didn’t think much of it until you walked by her and saw her jaw drop. 

“Wow!” Ellie exclaimed, “you don’t smell like a dead horse!” You roll your eyes. 

“Haha,” you laughed dryly, “thanks, and here” you said as you tossed her deodorant, she thanked you as she applied it. You were so busy chatting with Ellie that you didn’t notice Joel coming back in, or him looking at you for a moment longer than he knew he should’ve before going upstairs for his turn of the shower. 

By the time he was done you had made dinner  from what was still good in Bill’s fridge, which wasn’t much. All you could really make were a couple of sandwiches, you didn’t even notice him until Ellie did. 

“Well,” Ellie says, “don’t you look pretty! Don’t you think he’s pretty Doc?” 

You turned around to see him, his salted hair slicked back from the water, his skin clear of any grime or sweat, and a new set of clothes adorned him as well. The flannel suited him well, at least it didn’t have any holes in it. You think you saw Frank wear it once or twice, but he didn’t fill it out the way Joel did. But you figured that was for the better. You were so busy checking him out that you didn’t notice him doing the same thing, or the flush that was fighting its way to his face. 

“I’d say that,” you agreed, tearing your eyes away from him, “yeah.” 

“Shut up.” Joel gruffed, trying to hide his embarrassment by tossing another stick of deodorant towards Ellie who tossed it back to him. 

“I must stink if both of you handed me deodorant.” 

“No” 

“Yes.” 

You raise an eyebrow at him as he shrugged. 

“Let’s get going.” He said, “I already packed the truck up with supplies that we’ll need in order to make it to Tommy.” you nodded as you said one final goodbye to Frank and Bill, hoping that wherever they are, that they were as peaceful there as they were here. 

You took the backseat as Ellie and Joel sat up front, choosing to let Ellie’s first car ride be in shotgun. You smiled  as she pressed random things. 

“First time in a car?”

“It’s like a spaceship!” Joel looked tired as she continued to explore various things. 

“No it’s like a piece of shit Chevy S10,” Joel corrected, “but it’ll get us there…I think.” Joel looks over to her a second to see her not paying attention before sighing. “Seat Belts.” You see her look curiously at him as he reaches across her to grab said object and buckled her in. It may be invisible to everyone else, especially himself, but you could see his eyes soften just a tiny bit as he did. You wouldn’t say anything about it, but you knew Joel liked Ellie at least. He sees her as something to protect and that puts a smile on your face, knowing that Joel now has something else to protect. 

And in a way so do you. 

You left the garage and listened to the track that Ellie picked, watching the house fade in the distance knowing that while you’ll never be back there, at least the people there made the impossible possible. And made a home that was lived in and loved in this crazy, fucked up world. 

And life is full of loss

Who knows the cost?

Livin’ in a memory

Of a love that never was

Cause I’ve done everything I know. 

To try and change your mind

And I think I’m gonna love you

For a long, long time. 

TAGLIST

@burninggracesandbridges

#x reader #joel x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller #pedro pascal is daddy #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #bella ramsey #lgbt pride #tlou ep 3 #bill and frank #frank tlou #bill tlou #bill x frank #slow burn #x you #xreader #joel x reader angst #x reader angst #the last of us spoilers #the last of us hbo #tlous hbo #hbo the last of us #hbo #hbo max

[operationslipperypuppet]

Ooh how about top 5 Emily moments for each PC (i.e. top moonshine moment, top fia moment, etc etc) because we know Emily is incredible and can do no wrong!

Real and true. I’ll do like 2 moments for each naddpod pc and then it’ll be like 10 moments lol. Full disclosure: this is long as hell.

Moonshine:

“You can be quick with kindness, too” and then grabbing Bev and jumping off into the Astral Sea. That whole thing, where she was trying to understand Thiala despite knowing she likely couldn’t be reasoned with. An absolute peak of Moonshine. Holy shit.

Not to be the guy who brings up “how long do half elves live” at every opportunity. But it needs to be said. Because it’s also Moonshine grappling with how her lifespan is going to work. Emily was never going to take 18 levels in druid, she didn’t want timeless body for Moonshine. But she got it. And then there’s this poignant moment where she’s grappling with everything that will mean to the only other person she knows has or will experience it. Moonshine doesn’t fear death. But she doesn’t want to live in a world without her family and friends. And that’s why it matters. Plus the hardshine of it all.

Fuck it, third one. The conversation with Deadeye. She saves him. She’s the catalyst that stops him from continuing a spiral he’d been part of for possibly 100 years. And he stopped her from going down a similar path, which was Brennan’s plan when he made the character. The Cybin siblings are something that can be so personal.

Fia:

“Maybe I don’t want to be her sister, okay!” Fia was closed off to the other third mates in a lot of ways. She was never hiding anything deliberately, she just kept a lot of feelings close to her chest. She hadn’t had friends in years. Blurting this out to Hank and Zirk was her last wall crumbling and a moment of true trust. Plus like the beauty of girlhood friends falling in love wlw wish fulfillment.

“You were my fucking dream for so fucking long. But these people are my reality. And it is by your actions that one of them has died, and you tried to kill more of them. And I will miss you so much. But I, I cannot support this. Mr. Henry. Kill Her.” Truly an Emily moment of all time. The beauty. The cold hearted commitment. The sobs from both her AND Caldwell.

Tarragon:

Only gonna do one here because she’s in so few episodes. The atonement to help redeem Moxora at the end of Cerenysus. “She may have rotted but she’ll make good soil”. Devastating.

Billie:

Also gonna do one here because of the shortness of her time. Her insane antics in the Grimdung/Beeto cave fight. Trying to convince Grimmy that she was worth more than his allegiance to the cause. Being completely wrong about his thought process. And the interactions with Hank and Zirk during that fight. Too fun.

Onyx:

Pretending to be Porker Harris for the entire Merry Metal Mayhem two shot. Insane choice. She was dressed as him dead I think actually. And tried to convince Sonic that she was him. The triplets are too good.

Befriending KT. Getting her plane seat upgraded while sitting in the bad seats. Asking for her opinion on everything. So dumb. So incredible.

Callie:

Fucking. Crown of Dreams. Right at the end. She finally isn’t confused or a nannerfly. And she takes a turn to Lay on Hands Sol (who was 2 death save failures in the hole and it really felt like Caldwell’s skin of his teeth luck had finally run out) and then casts compelled duel on Ultrus to save Glen. Gets me every time. God what an episode.

Little strange, but when they’re fighting the Bronzebeards and that guy who was controlling people with the worms in the woods on the way to Irondeep. She like climbs up something, Fey Steps, attacks or casts a spell, then asks Hardwon to catch her. And Hardwon “nods like he’s seen this kind of bullshit before”. Just a very fun moment.

So sorry for going off like that. Hope people enjoy reading this insane list lmao

#naddpod #emily axford #asks #anon #top 5 #again send more if y’all want I’m having fun still

[lyx456]

Random thoughts about ep 5:

-that is so sweet that Sam is worried about Colin despite not knowing him that long

-also damn Colin is dying first isn't he 💀

-avoiding cameras you say 👀

-Alice is still the best character I love her so much

"-Hey all you sick freaks out there" came out of nowhere and made me laugh way harder then it should

-"chester" giving Sam a statement about someone experiencing The Horrors after submitting random shit after he did the same I see you Jon I do

-holy fuck the "statement giver" is a typical horror movie character dude why are you so stupid "omg a letter arrived at my house telling me I won a contest after only typing my name to enter it it's so cool and not creepy at all"

-also dude stop mentioning your Ko-Fi you are about to die that money wont do you much good

-so the old man is 100% an avatar but still rip to him for having to do everything himself

-also very much an Eye episode fuck yeah

-over all I liked the statement but definitely not my favourite compared to the previous ones it didn't really scare me at all, it might be cause I was too busy getting annoyed by the statement givers idiocy tho

-on one hand glad to see gwen investing shit already on the other girl you will so get yourself killed or well looking at your surname get your eyes gouged out

-okay so Lena definitely killed Klaus who was an IT manager right? Colin you are getting so many death flags darling

#the magnus protocol #the magnus protocol spoilers #more random thoughts cause why tf not #might do it for all new episodes honestly its fun #again this is just me screaming into the void so if anyone see's it im sorry #feel free to ignore lmao #tmagp spoilers #lyx screaming about tmagp

[elialys]

I’ve finished season 2 of The Newsreader two hours and a half ago, and I’ve yet to be able to talk about my feels with ANYONE, so I’m doing what I do in most cases when I have too many feels about something—opening a new word document to write things down.

This season genuinely surprised me so many times. I had no actual expectations, but I had thoughts on what might happen from the season promo and the episodes' synopses. Most of the time, turned out I was absolutely wrong, and I’ve never been happier to be wrong.

This is not very coherent, more ‘string of thoughts’ than anything else, and I’m skipping soooo many things but here are my main thoughts/emotions on each episode:

Episode 3 Greed and Fear

I knew it would be about Helen’s past being dug out and was so worried. Didn’t expect to be laughing so much?? Like, only a couple of scenes but god those were genuinely funny. Gerry’s wife telling Helen’s about her torn vagina from giving birth? Lindsay’s song about Charlie being hit hard in the economic crash? Absolute gold.

The "hey let’s get married to give that columnist something else to write about” idea from Dale and Helen’s reaction to it went about as well as I expected it to go.

I have to say, I did not expect the Helen & Charlie’s interactions to get that real that fast but I…kinda liked it? I still think Charlie’s a shit head but I loved that they made him feel like an actual human? Genuinely fond of that scene of him and Helen in his office waiting for midnight, with her on his couch telling him about her past, it just felt genuine.

Don’t get me started on Helen and Dale on HER couch at the end of the episode though. Just, I want to live there, in that scene. With them cuddling on that couch, and nothing bad ever ever happening to their couple, ever.

Episode 4 The Hungry Truth

This episode was a punch in the gut. The way the approached the Bicentennial event and the Aboriginal side of the story was so poignant and heartbreaking. That shot of them watching the cheery News at Six promo at the end instead of the planned interview with Lynus was captivating in a ‘I feel sick in the stomach’ kind of way.

Helen’s convictions and hard work being cast aside and spat on again at the last second was infuriating, she tries SO HARD to stand up for those who don’t have a voice and she hits walls every step of the way.

Dale’s real proposal? I'm still recovering. When I read the initial synopsis, I worried he was going to do something *big*, but he didn’t. It was intimate and romantic and sincere, and holy hell couldn’t have happened at a worse time ??? I know there was no way for him to really ‘hide’ his preparations from Helen at that point but ugh.

That end scene had me in tears tbh, both Sam and Anna just killed me. Because you can tell Helen loves Dale and he loves her yet she turns him down and everything hurts?

Episode 5 A Model Daughter

Let me just say I’ve loved Kay’s character. I love the extra depth it brought to the Walters family, and I love how she allowed for the very real issue of heroin addiction to be explored this season. And obviously, I love how her story intertwined with Helen’s and the way it made this episode unfold, like, DAAAAMN.

But first of all, Helen and Dale. Oh the pain. Oh the sweet sweet pain. I binged so I barely had time to process any of my feelings, but I felt all the feelings. It was dramatic without being overdramatic. Again, all of it felt so human. I wish we’d seen more actual conversation between Helen and Dale with Helen explaining exactly why she doesn’t want marriage and why she broke it off completely, but there’s enough there to get it and just hurt with them.

That scene of them in the make up room, after Dale realizes there’s been some ‘flirting’ going on between her and Charlie? SO many things are said without them needing to actually say them, it just hangs in the air and OH THE DELICIOUS PAIN.

That award party was so good, they were all so drunk and I was so worried about Dale. And then the whole Gerry, Tim, Dale thing was wholesome for about two and half seconds. I wasn’t sure when the ‘gay club’ scene would happen or how Dale would end up there, I didn’t expect things to happen that way, it was like watching a car crash in slow motion. I feel sad for people who ship Dale and Tim because I’m sure this is not how they hoped Tim’s character would come back—and that the random dude Dale wakes up next to is not who they were hoping for. Dale’s whole spiraling out this episode was just painful in a painfully perfect way.

Everything about Kay’s interview, every character involved…ugh so damn good. The interview itself made me cry, but that’s probably because of my own issues haha. Kay going to Helen and begging her to take her part off the story, not knowing Lindsay decided to make the story ALL about her and her parents against Helen’s assurances that they wouldn't do that.

Helen’s demeanor sitting at that desk, finally deciding that enough is enough. HELEN STANDING UP, GETTING THE TAPES AND DESTROYING THE TAPES WHILE WALKING OUT.

Actual Queen. Might be my favorite sequence in the entire season, but don’t take my word for it yet. Of course she goes to Charlie and jumps on him right after that but everyone’s human hahahaaaaa.

Episode 6 Fireworks

I don’t even know what to say, I’m still trying to process this. They gave us time with everyone, and I loved every second of it, but I still begged for more time with Helen and Dale, individually and together. Now I get what Sam meant by ‘Dead Dale’. Oh yes he’s the Big Guy now with the Big House, King of News and all that but he’s clearly dead inside too, so that’s nice I guess.

The way they resolved the issue of “Helen and Charlie” being a thing in under 3 minutes combined was beautiful to be honest. I was losing it watching that short, extremely distressing montage of Charlie and Helen like, might have clawed at my face a bit. But the way she threw him out of her life the second he dared say some shit about Dale? Beautiful.

Lindsay needs to die in a fire though. I’m so glad Dennis punched him in the face but someone needs to push him in front of a bus. That scene between him and Helen in his office was just VILE. What a pathetic excuse for a human being, all these things he did to her and SAID to her, I am not okay. And him sabotaging her at her new job like, DIE ALREADY OMG.

Was it really Gerry who told the columnist about Tim though??? Because that scene between Gerry and Dale, all unspoken? GOD. This damn show.

Gotta end with Helen and Dale. I am so upset. I think/hope they will find their way back together WHEN we get a 3rd season, and I believe them learning to live apart is needed and necessary, BUT GOD I AM GENUINELY HURTING. Helen’s desperate proposal was so upsetting. The fact that Dale was too dead inside to tell her more than “no” and “just do your job” like.

I don’t even blame him because he’s a hot mess trapped in his own catatonia but THE PAIN. That airport scene, someone put me out of my misery please, how dare they use THAT song (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, anyone??). Also, I realize I’m extremely biased given how much I love Anna Torv but??? She doesn’t say a single word in that scene as she watches Dale on the tv yet you know exactly what she’s thinking and feeling and everything hurts.

Noelene and Rob? So sorry I didn’t mention you at all in this post yet, you were so lovely and precious and so necessary for my emotional sanity, absolutely love how they “mirrored” and contrasted Helen and Dale, even if it adds to my pain as a Helen/Dale shipper who just watched three failed proposals in the span of 8 hours.

This show better be renewed. I need them to fix this mess. Wonderfully crafted mess but still a mess.

#the newsreader #the newsreader spoilers #long incoherent rambling about my emotions #since i have no one to talk to #so many more things i could talk about

[honestmouse20]

Okay, personal thoughts on dragons rising under the cut. Spoilers ahead!

I didn't care too much about Wildfyre going into part 2. she was cool but not really a character I was fully invested in. That is, until her and Kai went on their little quest/mission to get the dragon energy core. They were so Sweet! I loved how Kai had to be the responsible one and how Wildfyre had to learn how to thikn before she acted. They're a really good dynamic and I their relationship growing during this season felt very natrual and good!

Zane! also not one of my favorite characters. But him speaking to a broom with Pixal's photo taped to it got to me okay? I do wonder now where she is.

Mr. Frohicky (idk how to spell things, i've been up all night. give me a break lol) I did Not expect him to return after the crossroads episode back in part 1. He's actually grown on me a lot. It's still kinda weird bc the tone of this show is just a Bit different than previous Ninjago. But it's not bad and I wouldn't hate seeing more of him in the future

Lloyd. God he got so much character develepment this season but especially in part 2! From him trying to do everything on his own to upkeep the Monastary and then finally excepting help, to getting much better at teaching the new ninja. I really loved all the scenes with him an Arin and how their relationship has gone from Arin being a fanboy, to genuine respect and friendship. 10/10

Speaking of Lloyd. What on Earth was all that stuff he saw Again when he acted as the conduit again? I really hope we get more info on those vision in the next season. That's the one big mystery that they havn't really touched on

last lloyd thing, mayeb it's just the angst lover in me, but I really hope there's some kind of conequence to him acting as the conduit. Maybe it starts really draining him or maybe it just makes accessing his power a little harder. I hope they explain it or at least like, mention it.

I'm actually kinda glad they didn't go the whole route of having Nya distrust the Djinn guy who'se name i can't remember lol. It was a nice expectation subversion. Bc my first thought was that he was gonna be evil/ have heard that *she* was the one who tecnically destroyed Djinnjago. I really like that they helped him the way they did and the lesson it taught Sora

Speaking of Sora. I love her. I still fully belive that her power is creation but if it is just 'tech power' i really like how they're handling it. LIke we all Knew it was never Ryu's power she was using but the moment *she* figured that out still felt genuine and deserved because we saw her go through the process of realizing whta was holding her back. 10/10. no notes

Freaking COLE! So him and Lloyd are tied as my favorite charaters bc yee. But holy shit even tho it was 5 am when i got to his episode and i was exhausted. I sat up on the couch and just lost my shit. One, he's still so good at finding people in trouble/captured and deciding he's their protecter. I love him so much. and two. was it just me or was that whole episode so freaking queer coded it isnt funny? Like, even more so than his true potential episode back in S1.

Shipping aside, I really like how on par with his character his episodes were. Even tho they were short and I really crave more about him, they did a good job of leaving just enough questions to keep us interested while also showing us the important parts. Plys the new ability rock monster thing is cool

in that same vein. what the fuck does 'the earth is screaming' mean? hello that shits terrifying? My theory atm is that its' the realms fighting the merge bc it's like unnatural or something. but idk. i would have liked to hear more about that

Zane's car!!!! I own that set and holy fuck it did not dissapoint! At first i was kinda bummed it didn't do Actual spinjitzu, at least I don't think so. But him spinning wildy and saying 'this is adequate' or whatever, is so freaking funny! also it's super fast and looks epic. no notes lol

and Jay! we see him! I'm not really a big jay fan but I am curious what theyr'e gonna do with him next season

and finally, i Really liked all the references to past seasons/events! Even if it wasn't in your face, it was still really nice to be able to see all the pices of the past sprinkled throughout. It was also funny to see Sora being surprised Lloyd is the FSM's grandson. 10/10

If i think of more I'll make another post lol

god i need to re watch the season already

i have SO many thoughts. HOw am i supposed to go to work later and be an adult while ive got these little plastic ninja running through my head at full speed

#ninjago #ninjago spoilers #d rambles

[quackle]

How would you rank the first 8 episodes of season 2 if you had to?

hmmmm, i'd have to go in this order, from best to worst: 7, 4, 2, 3, 1, 5, 6, 8. long rambling reasonings below cut:

7: because holy shit this ep was so fucking funny for no reason. definitely a perfect ep. to me. we got mkulia looking soooo real here. we got peak damien finding the immunity idol. we got a hilarious challenge with that whole hilarious ass hunger games-esque segment. we got ripaxel (and lost them, which... pfft sorry i laughed a little even though i also felt bad). and we got OWEN!!!!! like.... idc this has been the best ep by farrrrrr.

4: hated the elimination so much but everything else was kinda sorta really perfect. the challenge gives this ep soooo many bonus points like i LOVED learning character lore. and that cheating plot? the internal struggle within team skunk butt?? especially bowie's internal struggle after lying to his boyfriend??? CHEF'S KISS. also ripaxel made me cry laughing so there's that.

2: i also really loved this challenge. like when julia joined the clogged toilet with raj, wayne, and bowie, and she was like "SOMEBODY. HELPPPP ☹️" or every time someone hit the damn basketball rim. or wayne's laugh at julia's scream. or when chris counted the bear as a point for team skunk butt, just because. ugh it was soooo total drama. i love this show.

3: ok the rat faces + that whole ripaxel moment were admittedly less interesting here to me, but i loved the cheat vs no cheat side of skunk butts. it was SO enjoyable to watch this unstable ass team, and the intro to bowie's dilemma was sooooo good. and those mkulia moments... ugh fun fun fun!!!! (also nichelle ladonna slayed and my fav rare pair duo damichelle was born sooooooo yippee!!!)

1: this ep was a nice intro to the season. drama was at an all time high. granny ax was an absolute icon. nichelle ladonna GAGGED EVERYONE. so fun. (also i'm personally biased to this ep because i'm always thinking about the short lived parallel between scary girl and nichelle in particular, but that's a topic i can ramble about elsewhere lol)

5: FUCK THIS ELIMINATION (hashtag i'm biased). otherwise an okay ep. team rat face was sooooo found family here. to me. and the cheating plot was once again fun to see unfold. and this was quite possibly the only time we got to see ripper participate with his team without axel as a distraction and... i kinda wish we got to see that more from him? but alas.

6: i... personally don't care much for the priya/caleb plot? and a lot of this ep had that. so. eh. damien got immunity tho and that whole "juliaaaaaa, i'm your partnerrrrr 😈" bit from wayne had me rolling and that rajbow moment where they carried the canoe was sooooo cute. so it gets a bonus point for all that (hashtag i'm biased).

8: i... didn't really care for this challenge at all actually. and once again, a lot of priya/caleb. like. most of this ep had me going "oh. miscommunication incoming. how fun. 🫤" did i wish caleb went home instead of zee? uh. yes actually, if only to escape miscommunication! if i could cut a plot point this season, that would be number one. but that's another ramble for another time.

#''scin why do you ramble'' i just have a lot to say always <3 tee hee #td spoilers #ask quackle #anonymous

[retro-watching]

Charmed S1 Ep1 Something Wicca This Way Comes

For a pilot this was pretty good. Plot was a bit eh but it's a pilot so what are you gonna do.

Prue is mean and I am not a fan of her though I can't fault Shannon Dohetry's acting in that regard. She plays repressed older sibling well.

Alyssa Milano's acting as Phoebe in this episode is....not great. Part of that is the writing though as Phoebe is WAY to on board with the witch thing from point one. It's really just keyed a little bit too much at all times so you know she's acting. Also because she is the flirty sister she is legally required to keep her stomach bare at all times apparently.

Piper however is a fully realised character from the off. Hallie Marie Combs fully understands Piper and brings her to life as a ball of anxiety and peace making. She is great and I particularly love her little "I'm stressed out" walk she does at times.

Other characters worth noting at this point:

Andy the cop is a delight even though his role in this episode is Exposition Bot and plot wise using the murder investigation to give us information about witchcraft and setting up a threat is fairly effective.

the Actor who plays Prue's ex Roger is excellent at being a slimy piece of shit. Very punchable. Excellent performance

The Villain of the episode was hilarious because they were being threatened by someone's yuppie dad and the effects and his scenery chewing made me laugh so hard.

Most important thing is my friend realised that Charmed in many ways gender flipped Supernatural. I am hoping she writes up a full explanation for that soon so I can reblog it because she is RIGHT!

So Ratings as decided by me and my friend:

Story: 5/10 - It was fine but it was a pilot. They are never the best

Acting: 6/10 - Some were better than others but the big bad at the end really brought the rating down

Cheese: 8/10 - It is so cheesy and so fun and so silly

Enjoyment: 7.5/10 - Fun but room to grow

Effects: 4/10 - Some were really good for the time like when Piper freezes time! But holy shit the fire and door blowing up at the end brought the score down

Charm: 7/10 - it was fun and it was cute in a goofy way

Cringe: 0/0 - didn't cringe once

Aged Like Milk: 0/0 - everything passed the sniff test so far

Rating:

B Tier

#retro watching #charmed #s1 ep1 #something wicca this way comes

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

I am now 100% convinced that Zvtara fans haven't watched the show. I just talked Ina comment with one. So far they have said that

a) Zuko was sweet and tried to return Katara's necklace to her

b) Zuko could have used something other than the necklace to track them down like Appa fur but he kept that necklace because he knew it was important

c) Zuko is a bad boy archetype (fanon Zuko maybe, canon Zuko is a very awkward guy) and is similar to Jet (the actual bad boy archetype who was charming, charismatic, generally things that Zuko wasn't)

d) Sokka is YOUNGER than Katara and not as capable as her (when I corrected them they said that I'm right but they made that conclusion because he's more immature and a running gag/comic relief. What the heck, the guy invented submarines!!)

e) Katara initially blamed the Avatar for the war like everyone else did (Katara in the very first episode "The Avatar will return and save the world, I believe it", Katara in "The Storm": Defends Aang when the fisherman blames him for the war and tells him that the Air Nomad genocide is not his fault)

Seriously how can someone claim to watch the show and yet make so many mistakes on key things like SOKKA'S AGE?!? Then at the end of their comment they were like "if you pay attention to the show overall, Zuko and Katara make more sense". EXCUSE ME? How am I the one that has to pay attention to the show??

Holy shit, SOOOOOO much bullshit. I don't know how you and I both didn't go insane reading something so stupid.

Zuko didn't use the necklace to track the Gaang (how would that even work?) and he didn't keep it because he somehow knew it meant a lot to Katara and wanted to return to her just to be kind.

He saw something that he recognized belonged to someone in the Gaang, thought it could maybe be used to bribe/blackmail to get the Avatar if it really was important - and then did exactly that. There's a reason that moment happened in "The Waterbending Scroll", with Zuko manipulating the pirates to get closer to capturing Aang. He was NOT being kind, he was taking a page from Azula's book on "How to get a dumbass to be useful."

Yeah, JET was the charming bad boy archetype Katara couldn't help but swoon over. Zuko was an angry, emotional, awkward guy who was on the wrong side 5/6 of the show, and that Katara tried to convince Aang to just let freeze to death in the North Pole. Once again, Zutarians ship everything EXCEPT Zuko and Katara.

While I wouldn't call Sokka useless or a bad character, I will say that there are situations in which Katara IS more capable than him - and vice versa. Between the two of them, if I need someone to teach me how to use a sword, I'm picking Sokka. But if I need someone to teach me to heal, I'd pick Katara. Different people are more/less capable at different things.

...That being said, goddamn, what's with Zutara fans and shitting on Sokka (or literally anyone that has a positive relationship with Katara)? I remember seeing a dumbass claim Sokka didn't even love her at all, that the Gaang never saw her as a friend but just as their replacement mom, and, of course, the old bullshit that she had to do everything until Karl Zuko Marx, the prince charming himself, came to her rescue in this weird Cinderella AU they made up inside their head.

Bruh, that last point was just... wow. Just wow. Katara had faith in the Avatar before even knowing he was still alive, had the feeling Aang was filled with wisdom before knowing who he was, and in the beginning of EVERY SINGLE EPISODE she tells us about how she 100% believes he will save the world. If that's resenting him and blaming him for the war, I can't even imagine what Katara having faith in him would look like. Girl would straight up start a religion to worship him.

And this gets extra funny when we remember "Crossroads of Destiny", in which Katara says to ZUKO that for the longest time she pictured HIS face as "the face of the enemy."

It's almost like Katara resented the prince of the nation that started the war, the member of a royal family that killed her mom, the guy that threatened to burn what was left of her village and that had spent months trying to capture one of her best friends...

Nah, that doesn't make sense. Instead, she totally hated the guy she was best friends with from start to finish.

"EXCUSE ME? How am I the one that has to pay attention to the show?" I ask myself that question every single day. This fandom has no fucking clue what happened in the very story they claim to love.

#anti zutara

[fictionfixations]

hazbin hotel songs tierlist imo (1-6)

It feels like with every new episode comes me having to update my favorite songs agh. note that i am very biased

HAZBIN HOTEL SPOILERS (episodes 1-6.)

For episode 1-4, it was

Loser, Baby (listening it just made me grinning despite the fact that it has more adult lyrics then poison)

Poison (loved it. then saw the episode with it and loved it more)

Stayed Gone (3 and 4 can be switched around either way imo)

Respectless (self explanatory)

Whatever It Takes (i dont like it that much but thats more because its not the type of song i enjoy, but some parts are enjoyable 'iLL BE YouR KEEPer / arMor')

Hell is Forever (hate Adam but the song was a literal bop. plus charlie's little recap of the first song is included in this which fun)

Happy Day in Hell (it is a good song. but you know when you hear a song so much you start to hate it??)

It Starts with Sorry (not that its bad. but like. i didnt like sir. person i can never remember the name of.)

NOW lets add episode 5 and 6. i forgot that new episodes were coming and then i saw on my recommended lucifer and i was like 'nahhh thats just clickbait'. and then i had to do a double take like 'no wait iSNT IT--'

Hell's Greatest Dad (my new favorite. if lucifer vs alastor wasnt so funny then this would be 2nd. reminds me of that one duet in camp camp that i adore too. also i LOVE electroswing. lmfao the 'you could almost call me dad' head turn. the accordion interrupting the piano. also is it just me or is the 'pure angelic power' really loud like holy shit idk why it startled me so much)

You Didn't Know ('dOnt You KnoW tHAT, heLL is FOREVer' that part had no right being such a bop wtf, and can we talk about lute's VOICE?? ALSO the fire reflecting in sera's eyes when she's trying to convice emily, oh my god)

More Than Anything (kid charlie. AND ALSO 'im grateful youre my daughter more than anything' just struck me. ALSO ALSO the 'ive been dying to find out who you are' and everything else after that was so heartwarming.)

Welcome to Heaven (I FORGOT ABOUT THIS SONG. it was ok but also 'and everyone is hot!' not saying this is better then the previous songs in 1-4 but this is a different list of songs from 5 and 6 only. it'd probably be under happy day in hell)

also. villains singing are bops, which AGHH. they insult characters i love but i dont care because their voices are so. nice wtf man. like lute WHAT. (if they make valentino sing though i dont even care if the song would be good because fuck him yknow?? not literally, blegh)

edit: I JUST REALIZED I MISNAMED 'MORE THAN ANYTHING' AS 'WHATEVER IT TAKES' I AM SO SORRY

#hazbin hotel #thoughts #hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin hotel season 1 #hazbin hotel season one #hazbin hotel series #hazbin hotel songs

[grimxark]

Ok. Part 3 earthspark was so incredibly disappointing. I feel so sad about it because it’s such a promising show.

I kind of ranted abt this to my friend for like an hour as soon as we finished watching but here’s some of my criticism which I may add on to. Or not

Warning for Earthspark s1 p3 spoilers and overall negativity. So sorry!

1. The writing of this part was sooo terrible. So many plotholes so much drama and so much cringe dialogue. I want to give it slack for being a children’s show but! There’s so much here that’s just senseless. I can excuse cringe dialogue but some of it is back to back to back. Like holy shit

2. Hate what they did to Karen. She was this malevolent evil that was being hinted and teased since part 1 and she amounted to literally nothing. She had no motives other than being racist, none that we know of. Maybe her parents died idfc but there are no real motives that she ever makes outright known. And she was being hinted to being this final boss type. Her death had no impact. It felt like a “oh look this is a child’s show turned dark”. Her death promised everything and it delivered nothing.

3. The last 3? Episodes where Twitch take charge feel apocalyptic and it was nice. Twitch and her older sister curse. The last one standing. The one bearing the weight of the family, having all that responsibility because wether you want it or not she is the older sister of the group. She watches everyone she loves simply disappear. She goes through so much trouble and so many plans and then thrash dies protecting her (which doesn’t make sense?? ill go onto this later). So, after she goes through all that trouble, the humans wake up and fix everything in the blink of an eye. and it undoes all this effort and character thrown into Twitch because she isnt the one who finds a way to fix it. it makes the last 3 episodes totally meaningless.

4. how would Thrash's body protect her from the blast. they were closest, and none of the others were protected the same way despite being in close proximity. why did the terrans even get affected by the blast? theyre not energon based. its like, the main plot of the show.

5. mandroid coming in and being like "interesting! for you ive been gone for a day, but under my calculations ive been gone… a year." was funny as hell. why a year?? why not one hundred. or at least fifty. as a lone human he would NOT have been able to convince the sharkticons in a year. and against the quintessons? and all those bodily changes? its so funny how stupidly underwhelming that time is.

6. Robbie's death was stupid. he does a green lantern oath and power up then still loses against megatron (bc its megatron) and then dies and gets revived. theres no shock, you know hell come back. i hoped everyone going "somethings wrong" meant we were going to get a "he died and came back wrong" ordeal but i guess i was expecting too much. also wasnt he dying in one episode. he said "its getting worse" and then he was fine

7. this entire part feels sooo odd to me with the inconsistencies, i wonder if the writers strike has anything to do with it. it almost feels so random. like on the same episode where robbie dies— why were they like "is that the real megatron?" while being scared as if they dont know megatron as a good guy. why would you be scared its the real megatron.

8. final fight felt so rushed. this whole part felt rushed. i wonder if there were budget cuts or if they used their whole budget on the first half of the season.

9. ill say it. maybe you don’t agree with me but. So much of it feels like fanservice. The starscream episode… why would Hashtag be the one to relate to Screamer? Mind control isn’t quite the same as constant abuse. And the entire episode relied a lot on watchers knowing what that relationship was like. In knowing what Starscream and Megatron are like. If you don’t know anything, it just feels odd. Even as a g1 inspired show, where Starscream and Megatron are awful to each other in damn near equal measures. It was a nice episode, I really enjoyed it, but there should’ve been more build up to that.

10. So many of the deleted scenes provide an extra feeling that was missing from the show. I’m really sad at how much potential this show has and how the entirety of parts 1 and 2 were amazing and built up so much and part 3 was just a huge let down with so many inconsistencies and questions left unanswered right after being brought up.

11.

#I promised myself I wouldn’t analyse a kids show but it’s like. kids shoes can be good and deep and this was so promising #earthspark #analysis #they speak #maccadam

[dxcinhx]

dropping some thoughts about vida here

i started watching this show for melissa barrera and i absolutely enjoyed it and have rewatched some episodes bc it's very entertaining

s3 felt kind of different, it was almost like the sisters switched roles at some points

i might be reading too much into it, but in the first few eps as emma and nico's relationship was going well i would look at emma's face and be like she's happy but she's still waiting for the other shoe to drop, and of course it did. and i was so sad to see her clam up again and fall back into her whole "vulnerability = weakness" thing. for a few episodes she just looked so dead inside like she was seriously depressed and triggered with everything going on, like nico's secret wife and her awful dad making himself known

i love lyn so much but i need her to be single. i'm so glad she finally realized where her true priorities lie and that she needs to work on turning into a chameleon with the men in her life but i just hate that it happened in the last like 20 minutes of the series finale

side note but i was not expecting lyn to get so into religion for a hot minute. i mean i understand that it was her yet again molding herself to the people in her life, so i think she snapped out of it once her father showed his true colors but still like it was so jarring. god the man gave me such awful vibes and the last scene of him and emma after she confronted him was legitimately hard to watch

the sisters spent so much time apart and on different pages this season it made me sad :( i completely understand why but i do miss the moments in the first episode or in earlier seasons when they were sisterly and messing with each other

i love that mari had some more time this season to build herself up a little more and yes this is cruel to say but her dad dying is a blessing ! now she can finally look after herself and find people who appreciate what she does. honestly that man pretty much killed himself after he kicked out the only child who actually took care of him. ladies ask not what u can do for machismo but what machismo can do for u

speaking of this family i can't STAND johnny oh my GOD get off my screen and get away from the women in ur life all u do is hurt them

god i wish this new generation of shows had longer seasons. a 6 episode season is nowhere near enough to develop the characters and storylines better (even tho this season the episodes weren't all 30 min like s1 and s2). i was like holy shit things are happening so fast it's one terrible thing after the other but of course they are, they only have like 5 hours to tell the story!!

i'm really fond of this show and how witty it is, its integration of mexican and american and mexican-american cultures, the spanglish, the butch rep!! everything

actually one of my favorite moments this season was when lyn was talking to that european dude at her bf's mom's bday party (fuck her bf and his mom by the way holy shit he was such a weirdo) and she was talking about how difficult it is to be perceived as mexican by gringos while still not being mexican enough for mexicans. when she said she couldn't even hold a conversation in english or spanish i was like u read my mind. i'm literally incoherent. anyway it really resonated with me as an immigrant and i think it's such an important conversation to have!!

anyway emma and lyn repaired their relationship and their bigoted father is rotting in hell and they keep the bar and eddy's back too and everything is going better than ever, they told me so themselves <3

#honestly i relate so much to emma #emotionally constipated gay older sister of a latino family with mommy issues? #present #vida