#I wanted you to know exactly where I am

[awawun]

Will, rejecting Hannibal: I miss my dogs, I’m not going to miss you. I’m not going to find you. I’m not going to look for you. I don’t want to know where you are, or what you do. I don’t want to think about you anymore.

Hannibal: you HATE Hannibal? you hate Hannibal like your capacity for violence? oh! oh! jail for Hannibal! jail for Hannibal for One Thousand Years!!!!

#he hid behind Will’s house for how many hours #it was daylight when Will rejected him and he was arrested at NIGHT #DARK!! it was PITCH BLACK OUTSIDE!!! #Miette’s been stuck in my head recently #jail for 1000 years #hannigram #hannibal nbc #will graham #hannibal lecter #loser #hate them #I wanted you to know exactly where I am #and where you can always find me

[httpiastri]

IM NOT SURE YOURE GOING TO HAVE SOFT THOUGHTS AFTER SEEING THESE….

Completely drenched and so am I 😩😩😩😩

ooooh bestie….. yet again i have written something in my sleep and then fallen asleep the moment i posted it 😩 i genuinely woke up, saw this ask and wondered what you meant by soft thoughts…….. went back to see my last post and suddenly it makes sense lol i almost almost remember writing that…

but i did write this also on an earlier post:

maybe i said that and then forgot about that side of him 😭 my mind was full of this:

but uh…. thank you for the pics 🫶🫶 very nice thing to wake up to in the morning!! we’ve discussed this before but like… the sweaty hair…. pulling my fingers through it….. and like i keep thinking about cupping his face in my hands and wiping away some sweat with my thumbs like u would with tears? and he’s just all smiley and giggley and his cheeks are so rosy and he’s so exhausted he can barely keep his eyes open, but at the same time there’s something so hot about it because you’ve seen him like that before in other settings and you’re sure it’s gonna happen in just a few hours again…..

#maybe wouldn’t exactly fit in the post-win&podium scenario but #soft and giggly sex with him >>>> #i would die actually #god now it’s 9am and im about to head into school and you’ve got me feeling like this 😩😩😩😩😩 #how am i supposed to survive this #also my dear….. i know you reblogged some other pics of him on the floor that kinda made me feel another type of way… #not just ‘awwww get him some water!!’ #more like ‘get *me* some water!!’ #if you happened to save some of those…. and you wanted to share them…… you know where to find me 😶😶 #asks! #lola lola lola! 💘

[crossbackpoke-check]

Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman

part one | part two

#me when everybody is posting the maple leafs sad narratives and i am furiously generating this like HOLD ONNNN HOLD ONNNNNNN #honestly i could've been SOOOO MEAN about this because i saw this poem & alexandra got the preview on the poetry blog #where i just reblogged the first half of this poem point blank with the tags #kyle dubas #toronto maple leafs #& got yelled at aksdaksf & it literally only didn't go on this blog bc i usually write more & then it was percolating & i looked up the poe #& it was only the FIRST PART i'd reblogged i didn't know there was more & then brain immediately went brrrrr ok time for an edit. #this is a long one lol & i also have no idea if it makes sense to anybody but me but because y'all know me i will always overexplain so!! #my reasoning for the reasons obvi kyle. that's a given i hope he's doing well i hope he & his family r good but man is not coming in to wor #the second edit took me a stupid amount of time bc i am nitpicky but also i learned how to do the layers & transparency from the claude edi #that actually y'all don't know about lmao but i lost my mind when i saw how perfectly those pictures align i was scrolling getty & was like #ok december i'm gonna do a headline one (in my brain with the november/june quote about choosing to die again) w/ maple leafs playoff odds #how they say at winter break you know who's gonna be in the playoffs & who'll win & they thought they had a shot but it's mitchie overlaid #the 2003-04 team who'd last won a playoff round with the atlantic division stats from dec for 22-23 & how long it's been & dec headlines #i wanted breakup/recent/never loved to be a recent trade acquisition somebody who bounced around & somebody else so i almost had simmer #brodie & zar but then i wanted to make murray for breakup at any time &i forgot zar & him were on the pens together &it hit me like a truc #bc there's a photo of the two of them EXACTLY the same so close it's scary of this one but them as pens so they had to be it & i did always #know never loved again was mitchie. sorry. also mitchie in the penalty box the last game but i couldn't find footage of it & this one works #no i could not find a photo of tyler bertuzzi fighting a leaf for a dog looked at me yes i tried. #i almost made the bunting photo jt but instead it's 'bunting a rat etc' anyway the one i really feel unhinged about is dead pets bc at firs #i was gonna make it the handshake line & look to see if the leafs had drafted anybody on the panthers (dead pet former draft pick) #& they had & it was carter verhaeghe & i couldn't get a good pic of matthews & verhaeghe but it's fine bc i thought about the mo/luke schen #narrative (in which they are a perfect d pair long lost) & schenn was drafted by the leafs & that line fits jut trust me. also how i feel #about the kniesy luminous line that one possessed me it had to be kniesy idk why. i almost put gussy as girls are too pretty though ALSO #did u like my joke. daylight SAVINGS time on the goalie. thank u. also my photo magic on the jt (me very poorly editing in him as an isle) #OK ALSO HOLD ONNNNN there is a part two but i have to wait for the Content i want it will come out as soon as [redacted] or sooner #if i get bad at waiting &everyone will pretend like it is always the way it will be once i have the photos i want. speaking of did the leaf #simply not take a team photo this year?? it Does Not Exist for me i have tried very hard to look for it also i'm excited for part 2 #one of them is named oh you're so unhinged for this one & the finished product is you're unhinged in ways you didn't even know u were sorry #liv in the replies

[uncanny-tranny]

Honestly, attachment to sex rather than gender as a social construction won't create a utopia without the subjugation of one's presentation, background, or experience from existing. Recognizing that sex and gender are both socially constructed and while they sometimes inform one another, they won't always, and that trans people absolutely can attest to this and are integral to making change for a better world are insurmountably important. If your desire for a "better world" coincidentally doesn't include us, what you desire isn't a better world where people are free - it is subjugation by a different name.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #and this is why i stopped really buying into the odea that abolishing gender alone would save us #because people still believe that sex is this Divine thing that Never Ever Is Influenced Or Is Seen Socially As Anything... #...that whatever is seen as 'right' by societal standards is inherently true... #... it's the idea that a person existing is simultaneously natural AND unnatural only in context with what /everybody else/ thinks.. #i just find that people are super enthusiastic about obtaining a utopia for them that just ~coincidentally~ will naturally exclude transness #like 'without gender you trans people wont NEED to exist 🥺🥹' and it just shows that you don't WANT a better world. #what you WANT is a hierarchy where you are naturally ordained at the top #at best it shows a lack of understanding of the trans perspective and at worst appears genocidal #exactly HOW will you prevent us from existing? because closing your ears and going 'lalala you don't exist!' obviously hasn't cut it #offtopic completely but i am watching my spotify wrapped and what the fuck #why the Fuck did i listen to time warp 314 times (i Know Why) #i am shocked that weezer wasn't in the top fove artists. i am thankful too

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

when the art block hitteth

#it hitteth HARD #its worse when its the type of art block where #not only do you Not Have Ideas but Nothing You Attempt Looks Right #and scribbling feels Awkward and Unpleasant #i have exactly Two posts left in the queue #its been an honor drawing for yall🫡 #if youll excuse me im going to go Scream At The Sky #I KNEW I HAD IT TOO GOOD FOR TOO LONG. IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME #wait but perhaps... perhaps this means ill be able to write now #am i experiencing another trade-off #i would Like to write #but then again i like scribbling more. id rather draw #looks like i dont have a mcfuckin choice tho!!! ahaha this is fine!!! #absolutely unprompted #i felt it creeping up last night but i refused to acknowledge it #well Now Its Here and its Very Unpleasant #howling wailing baying at the moon etc etc #im so mad rn. all i want is to doodle #maybe... maybe ill write something Original for once. #or write for my flight rising dragons. who knows #gonna go watch spiderverse and we'll see if that knocks anything loose in my brain

[abirddogmoment]

In the same vein as my Dog Thoughts post about performance foundations last night, the more I watch Sports People, the more motivated I am to distance myself from them and be done with dog sports completely.

#i had this thought while i was still actively competing #but mav was one of the top performers for his breed for his entire career and that is addictive #photographing events this summer doglessly made it sooooo clear that i dont want to associate with Sports People #no offense to those of you who are Sports People but it is so not my vibe #i have FOMO for sure but is it enough to return to that?? #(there is an argument to be made that people need to see more people having fun in the ring and keeping it light - #but i am a competitive person and honestly there were periods where i was NOT keeping it light and thats not cool) #i can see how easily i can be sucked back in #i unfollowed and blocked sooooo many people because i simple Do Not Want To See It #idk its the same vein as calling your dog bad or asshole as a 'joke' #is it actually a joke or are you harbouring resentment and justifying it as a joke? #im not sure how exactly they're similar but in my heart they are #there is a very specific flavour thats prominent in dog sports and it is not the right flavour for me #hmm im posting a lot of text posts about my thoughts in the last 24h hope this is out of my system now #back to regular queued pictures of the pubby tysm #eta: this includes confo people btw #it should be Competition People i suppose #sports are at the forefront of my brain because i was so deeply involved for years #but ive photographed enough confo shows to know that is also not the vibe

[suntails]

im feeling a little better today so i scribbled myself if i were in twst

#i forgot to label my loving trustworthy eyes. blinking so cutely at u. do u want to hear me talk At you about the housing market #me with my unstoppable brainrot over diasomnia: so anyways i am sooooooo deeply octavinelle to my core. i hate it here <3 #its the Everything abt me. fun fact! i figured out when i was 7 that i could do whatever i wanted if i was willing to accept the price of th #e punishment for an action. it was a fair transaction! and thus started my whole life where i do anything i want without worry! wooooo!!! #thank u octavinelle for embracing my silly life-hack of a transactional mindset!! so fucked up!! #also bought a house at 21 and i know EXACTLY how the slippery slope to being a landlord would work soooo. sighs. i know too much #pls. i want to say id pull a rook hunt and switch dorms but i rly dont know if i would. the outfit is so snazzy. and i wouldnt get into dias #omnia so whatd be the point lmao #okay thats enough rambling lmao #hush catriona #for good measure <3 #twisted wonderland

[imminent-danger-came]

The 1x00 AHiB -> 4x06 glowup

#this just reminded me I need to make a ''being there for your friends when they need you'' post #because that shit is EVERYWHERE #LIKE THAT'S ALL THEY FUCKING TALK ABOUT #''It's okay sandy! You're always there for us when we need you. The least we can do is be there for you when you need us.'' (4x06) #''No! Mei is my best friend. I'd never abandon her when she needs me—we're heroes! It's what we do!'' (3x10) #''You don't know! We'd risk it for sure! I won't abandon them when they need us'' (4x02) #''As long as I'm doing something to help out a friend- I don't mind what it is! I just want to be there for 'em when they need me.'' (2x08) #''Wukong only values people by how useful they are to him'' (3x08) #''No no honestly—this is exactly what I need right now. I'm trapped under a mountain- but the 6-earred macaque brought me a peach!'' #(4x11) #Literally just the shit off of the top of my head #and then. And then that in contrast with #''I get it. I'd do anything for my friends! But at the cost of the world?'' LIKE GOD DAMMIT LEGOS #You took the basic bitch ''Help you friends'' theme and went ''But what if helping your friend hurt others'' like come on man #Hello #Where am I #I'm dying. I'm dying #Okay imma go do hw......I guess....whatever.... #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk parallels #lmk Sandy #lmk Mei #lmk Pigsy #lmk Tang #OH GOD ALSO. ''I will become someone they can depend on...the way I can always depend on them!'' (3x08) #AND #''But you're always there when I need you- so it's time for me to return the favor!'' (2x04) #Which also just ties into ''we'll figure this out together'' as a whole right #what. ever.

[meownotgood]

THAT'S 60,000 WORDS LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO!!

#RAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH #I might write a little bit more this weekend we'll see cause I may be busy #current status on chapter two: beginning portion edited and good #still working on editing the smut and #I don't know if it's just taking forever or if I added way too much to the scene where you jerk aki off #because why am I still working on that segment #you haven't even slurped on it yet #editing the rest of the smut is sure too take just as long though because after this scene #everything is pretty much rough outline mode #so there's a lot of work that needs to be done #I've also started working on the ending #I'm about halfway done with the rough draft for it #I figured out what I want to do with it I think #at this point I think I will certainly get close to 70k words but I'm not quite sure yet if I'll actually break that barrier #there's a ton that needs to be added to the second half of the chapter though so it's definitely possible #and I still can't say when exactly I'll be done #my current hope is to release the second chapter about three weeks after the first #is that good? is that too long??? #you promised you'd be willing to wait didn't you... yes I'm talking to you.... #I'm starting to gain a little more confidence in the second chapter after working on it more #gonna have my bestie read it when I'm done so she can affirm that I am indeed not a failure #ok I've talked too much #aki sex. soon. aki sex

[subparticlesupercollider]

there’s something so alluring about the idea of living in a perpetual horror movie to me. like a time loop. specifically a paranormal one where you could never make it out alive. in the same sense of “heaven is a place where nothing really happens” (from the talking heads song Heaven), being trapped in a story where there’s only one ending and you suffer through whatever horrors are laid out for you (but they are laid out exactly as they are and always will be, and they are laid out for YOU) sounds like. morbidly peaceful. no need to worry what happens next, you already know. and you’ve done it a hundred times. of course you’re in pain but it’s intimately familiar and maybe you don’t even register your suffering anymore. and you’re not preoccupied by your performance in this dance anymore either— it feels like whatever you do, the same events occur, but you’re an actor in a story and you never had free will to begin with. anyways. it just sounds kind of nice 👍

#^voice of a guy who would be fine if he was trapped in a time loop bc he puts so much value and emphasis into the mundane #cro talks #it’s late but i’ve been thinking about this for like a week now. am i insane or is this like. even mildly relatable #also to expand on that talking heads lyrics— it just makes me sad to think about. the idea of a perfect place being completely uneventful— #and just the same few experiences over and over again exactly the same? i mean like. true. tbh #sad not in the sense that i’d hate that if it happened to me but overcome with jealousy and desperation #this is where arguments of free will vs predetermination really get to me. i DO believe in free will. but is it so bad to wish for — #predetermination instead? take your hands off the wheel and do whatever you want. everything will happen as it always would have. #anyways #feeling normal about this. feeling regular #please let me know if this sounds crazy i’d like to know. not that i care i’m just curious #horror

[hollowflight-propaganda]

I think it's time I change my bio to say it's been 11 years since I started to watch Ninjago.....

Gosh. Where's my senior discount on the lego sets, huh?

#I actually don't remember exactly when I picked up ninjago. I just know that it was april or may cause it was nearing the end of- #the school year #anyway this show feels like it's my best friend in all honesty. it's been with me for so long and at my loneliest #and to think that I've grown up alongside it. it's so weird #I have such a clear memory of like when just about anything happened for this show #s3 finale? I was sick but I still tuned into watch and CRIED #s5? I watched nearly every episode when it aired on cartoon network in my parents room cause my dad was using our other tv at that time #s8? watched it weekly in my grandparents basement and It Was A Ride #s11 finale? got to the episode at like. 6 am before I had to go to school and felt utterly disappointed there was no kai and zane fight #seabound? watched it weekly that one spring and IT WAS ALSO A RIDE #and that's not even touching the hours upon hours of fan works I've looked at #just. it's been such a long time. over a decade of my life that I've been attached to this show. and at the same time it feels like no- #time has passed at all #I actually first watched the show cause some classmates were talking about it and I wanted to be friends with someone so bad so I started- #to watch it and I Very Quickly surpassed their love of it #what a ride huh? now we're at a point where I can look this show and say it's genuinely good (THANK YOU DRAGONS RISING!!!!!!!!!!) #ok I'm done reminiscing. time to think about the newest scenarios in which to make kai suffer >:) #ninjago #phoenix prattles

[queenlucythevaliant]

The Star Market

Marie Howe

The people Jesus loved were shopping at the Star Market yesterday. An old lead-colored man standing next to me at the checkout breathed so heavily I had to step back a few steps.

Even after his bags were packed he still stood, breathing hard and hawking into his hand. The feeble, the lame, I could hardly look at them: shuffling through the aisles, they smelled of decay, as if the Star Market

had declared a day off for the able-bodied, and I had wandered in with the rest of them—sour milk, bad meat— looking for cereal and spring water.

Jesus must have been a saint, I said to myself, looking for my lost car in the parking lot later, stumbling among the people who would have been lowered into rooms by ropes, who would have crept

out of caves or crawled from the corners of public baths on their hands and knees begging for mercy.

If I touch only the hem of his garment, one woman thought, could I bear the look on his face when he wheels around?

#I posted an excerpt of this poem yesterday but it felt necessary to post the whole thing today #because this poem #this darn poem #knows exactly where i live #'the feeble the lame i could hardly look at them' #i (like many of you) grew up around Christians like 85% of the time #i chose not to go to a Christian college specifically so that i could try to mitigate this part of my heart #that feels almost viscerally uncomfortable around certain types of people #i want to learn to love all my neighbors with Christ's abounding love #i know that I am no less sinful than my neighbor #but sometimes it's like there's a bee in the room and i don't know where it is #i'm set on edge by certain kinds of sin #in a way that i'm not by others #i'm sure this is true in degrees for many of us raised in the church #and this poem. this darn poem calls us out directly #it calls /me/ out directly #'The people Jesus loved were shopping at the Star Market yesterday. I could hardly look at them.' #'Jesus must have been a saint (that's the one bit i don't like-- Jesus must have been GOD) to be able to love these people' #'these people who came stumbling towards him crawling towards him lowered through the ceiling towards him' #'begging for mercy. begging with more humility than I manage on any but my best day' #'the people Jesus loved-- and i could hardly look at them' #and that last line hits you right in the solar plexus #'if I could only touch the hem of his garment could I bear the look on his face when he wheels around?' #no. no i don't think i could #and yet #i imagine that look would be so so beautiful #and by the grace of God i know i CAN bear it #i and all the other people Jesus loves #Bible humans #literature makes us more human

[kahootqueen69]

BEN WILLBOND WHEN I CATCH YOU BEN WILLBOND BEN WHEN I CATCH YOU BEN BEN WILLBOND WHEN I CATCH YOU—

#bbc ghosts #the captain #I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE-- #BEN WILLBOND YOU BETTER START RUNNING #i am fully aware this is exactly what i and what we all wanted but BY GOD YOU BETTER START RUNNING BEN WILLBOND #i am. fucking emotionally destroyed. and i still have the finale left. lord help me #@ghosts-of-love if u see this i am kissing you on the mouth (again) for helping me be able to see this with my own eyes #bbc ghosts spoilers #just to be sure i mean we all know what this post implies #wish me luck for the finale lads 🫡 #this is the tag where i ramble about things

[da-proti-toku-grem]

why can't anyone understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes the same things and that it's completely okay AND normal for someone not to like going out and preferring to stay at home :/

#honestly i understand that my parents care about me and they don't want me to be feeling bad #and that they ask me bc they just want to make sure i'm okay #but i've explained to them what i feel like and they just don't get and i get mad but i akso know it's not their fault and just... oughhhhh #like yeah i have a weird kind of social anxiety according to my therapist and even she doesn't know exactly how to help me yet #but there are just so many reasons behind why i don't like going out and it's not just bc it gives me anxiety #or why those situations give me anxiety in the forst place #1. i'm just a very introverted person that doesn't like going out #2. crowded places/closed spaces/places where there's not enough ventilation/loud places (be it people talking or just music) overwhelme me #3. all said in 2 + flashing lights give me huge migraines that can linger for over 3 days #4. i am very much a night owl and i'm forced to live in a society where that isn't fucking acceptable apparently and i'm called lazy for - #- not being productive in the morning when the only reason behind it is that i am a lot more productive at night #but no one ket's me do that bc 'why are you doing stuff when you're supposed to be asleep?' #i have been the same since i was little. literally nothing has changed #and people where always like 'oh she's just shy' #but idk wtf changed #maybe it was that i became and 'adult' or maybe the fact that i started therapy and they told my parents that i have social anxiety. idk #but suddenly every single person in my family is worried about it and they're genuinely making me feel like there's smth wrong about me #i mean. i have my problems i'm not gonna go telling you that i'm perfect bc i'm pretty much not #but is there really smth that wrong with me that i need to fix #or is society just a bitch that doesn't understand that there's different kinds of people and everyone is different & IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY #have they ever thought about the fact that maybe these situations cause me anxiety bc i've been forced all my life to do them #even if i don't like them #instead of thinking that i don't like them BC they cause me anxiety?? #i mean. i know i have to go out more and that there's tons of things i can do ofc #but you can't just force me to do things i don't want to and put on a good face while doing it *every.fucking.day* #aaaaand i could add a lot more things but i'm once again reaching the tag limit so i shoukd just shut up #it's just driving me crazy bc i know they're trying to help but it really is not helping at all............. #ranting

[solradguy]

Whenever I see someone being transphobic on twt in a bridget thread i reply with three pictures of my mains: ky kiske from ac+r, ky kiske from rev 2, and ky kiske from strive.

it self selects for people who actually play the game. it’s canon that he’ll fight off transphobes with the blade. and if they actually played guilty gear they’d get the underlining messages

While it can be really funny to bully these guys back, please keep in mind that nothing you can say or do to these people will hurt them or waste as much of their time as what they say will stick with you or waste your time. It might be funny to send them a bunch of Ky pictures, but what they're doing is laughing that the only response the people they hate can give them is sending a bunch of pictures of anime boys.

The only thing that works is blocking them. They've turned being an asshole into a recreational sport and getting any sort of response in return is a victory for them.

#asks #Unfortunately I was an asshole on the internet once (not a vicious transphobe just a basic internet asshole) #I know exactly how these people function because I was there once... #When you don't take the person you're arguing with seriously it's very easy to laugh at every single thing they do #Which is what these guys are doing. It doesn't matter how well thought out the counter argument is. They don't care and they won't care #All you can hope for is that they're young and they grow out of it (I did) #I feel bad for them because I think about what led to me being like that decades ago. Are they going through the same thing? #I was like that because I was in a hopeless situation and hated myself and hated everyone else #People arguing back just proved my point that everything sucked and my hate was justified #It's an awful feedback loop. People being kind to me felt disingenuous. Why should they be kind? I hated them. They had no reason to be nic #I had to get to a point where I was willing to help myself crawl out of that pit before I let anyone else even get near me emotionally #I still remember the day when I realized I was being a fucked up little shit to everyone lol #Early June 2011. It was sunny with no clouds and there was a cool breeze. I was listening to In This Moment and I realized #'What the hell am I doing? Do I want to be like this forever? Get your shit together man' #It was a slow process from there but I did get out of it. Slowly. Very slowly. #There's a lot I did that I regret and can't ever apologize for because it was so long ago and the names and faces are gone now #Apologizing at this point would be selfish and only for my benefit anyway. I can only hope that what I did didn't hurt people permanently #Anyway. I've never talked about this on here before because it's the kinda shit that gets put on callout posts out of context #So. I am laying my naked soul bare and raw for the sake of underlining my original point: Internet trolls don't care

[remyfire]

Me when any of you make even the tiniest possible reference in tags to wanting BJ and Margaret to kiss after I've written 78% of the BJ/Margaret fics published since 2015

#this image but bass boosted tbh #where the fuck are you all get in here there have been exactly four people in my canoe for SO LONG #THIS DOESN'T HAVE TO EXCLUDE HAWKEYE OKAY I NEED THEM /ALL/ KISSING #bj and hawkeye are soulmates yes yes we all know this but the THING is that— #i can't even talk normally about it sorry #why did bj say he wants to see margaret in her underwear #why did bj and hawkeye offer to tag team margaret in the shower #why does bj get pissy and bitchy whenever margaret has a love interest #why is margaret always interposed between bj and her love interest of the week when they're on screen together #i am shaking the bars of my enclosure #my ramblings