#I’ll cry bc bc bc they have a certain way of doing things yknow

[zappedbyzabka]

Ok. time for me to start posting Greg x Maz again I think 😗

#This is my safe ship. I dont want to assume but I’m pretty sure I made it?? #Not 100% sure but #gotta tell the truth #that that old man gets power bottomed SO hard by that pretty lil blonde #Literally gets that D used raw #He’s hurtin almost every day and loves it #Greg’s hole is aching and can take more ty #Greg’s ass is RED and Maz’s nips are TUGGED #nsft #greg x maz #please dont take them from meeeeeee #They’re like my special edition barbies #I’ll cry bc bc bc they have a certain way of doing things yknow #and i love it #soskkskskskksksksksk

[fvckme-sir]

husband rating: hakkai

with @bvnnichuu

b:for kai i’ll say his passion is a 6.5/10

p: i think its at least a 8-9 because we see him join the gang that his brother is in just for takemichi to be safe  so if he's that willing just for his friends, imagine how passionate he'd be as a partner\

b: oh true true

p : but i also feel like he may have trouble expressing it because his broher is a nutcase and something tells me that his brother is super against emotional expression yknow so he may struggle a teensey bit

b: oh will say though i gave him the 6.5 because he kinda gives up easy and wants to keep the peace a lot (which i totally understand giving his growing up situation)

b: ( ilike it takes a lot of work for him to get comfortable to show his true true self and not the goofy personality he puts on so ppl think he’s okay :((

p: YEAH exactly, because he's so secure in his sense of style so he seems so sure of himself but he really isnt because he just cant ask for support thanks to his shitty brother

b: yeah :(( so it’s probably very hard for him to show true emotions bc of fear and putting up walls

p: i feel like once when he started dyin his hair n stuff he like scared a kid once and he had a realization as to how he just does not want to be like that and so he started pushing himself more

p: like the scar and stuff:(

b: oh yeah

b: i also just had a thought and i’m gonna cry

p: share the thought<3

b: in one of the timelines he persues a career and i really see that as his outlet to finally express himself and be happy, like truly happy. and having someone in a similar field is comforting to him in a way ya know 

p: househusband ability?

b:4/10

p:pfft- that was a STRAIGHT UP no

b: he is the baby of his family and i’m the oldest out of mine he will try but it’s not good

p: oh yeah true:( you'd spoil him

b: “bunni wait how do i do this? i need some help ”

p: i dont think he has a single househusbandly bone in his body

b:he doesn’t:

b:goes to taka chan

b: charm

p: i think he's a solid 7 on charm

b: i’d say 7.5

p: i think he has a tendency to be smug but in like a cute way

b; but his humor is in his charm and that’s like

b: a huge thing for me

b: gotta make me laugh

p: aww YEAH he knows how to make people laugh n thats one of the things that was a turning point for him once he decided he wanted to change

b: like he’s also a very fun, sweet guy too so

b: also he has me laughing to the point where i’m crying and my cheeks hurt

b: and i do that run away thing

p: nothing makes him happier

p: so, for dick rating

b: so his dick is really pretty

p: i feel like he’s a grower

b: YES

p: YEAH he does have a pretty dick

p: keeps it completely shaved

b: i can see him with a bit of a happy trail

p: ACTUALLY WAIT YEAH

p: but it’s shaved short

b: a slight v bc he’s beeeeeeg

b: YES b: does he have foreskin?

p: hmmm

P: i think so

b: i’m on the fence

p:actually wait no he doesn’t

P: i’m so lost I dunno

b: I DUNNO EITHERRRR

P: LETS JUST SKIP THIS AAAA

b: but i do know his head is cra- OK p: his head is what?

b: crazy sensitive

p: OHH  yeah 1000%

p: next: kinks!

b: i feel like he’s a try it once kinda guy

p: yeah me too

p: i think his favorites though are overstim, bondage, crying, spit and he likes risky places

b:YES

b: and

b: he loves the daddy kink bc he feels like he has control

b:likes when it’s cooed at him too

p: oh my GOD

p: WAIT p: COCK / BODY WORSHIP

b: YES

b: giving AND RECIEVING

p: do you think he prefers giving or receiving in general?

p: i feel like its obvious

p: giving

b: i’d say giving but falls apart when receives

p:he’s like super shy bc all the attention’s on him

p: alright bun what do you think gets hakkai goin?

b: he really like when his back gets rubbed

p: i feel like if you touch him in certain spots its a guarantee hard on

b: YES

p: a certain spot on his thigh, the area between his neck and shoulder

b: his jaw too

p: and behind his ear

b; omg i’d really set him off

b: i always rub his ears when i’m bored

p:do you think he’s more dom, sub or comfortable with both?

p: i think he’s a switch with a slight dom lean

b: i feel like he has to be a dom but yeah he’s definitely a switch

[chunhua-s]

congrats on your milestone event!!! id like to request for kita soulmate!au with angst to fluff genre 👉👈 yknow sumn rejection shit bcs im hopeless like that wehee once again congrats! and i love your writing style :3

anon you’re gonna make me cry 🥺 seriously i’m happy you enjoy my writing and that you think my style’s okay! most of the time i go off of what kind of feelings i get when i’m writing or the imagery that comes up in my head and i’m never sure that it translates well enough for you guys to feel or see the same thing. hopefully as i keep writing then i’ll be able to show you guys what’s on my mind better when i’m writing! thank you again for requesting — seriously, it means a lot! and like always, you guys, don’t be afraid to come and talk to me on and off anon! your interactions mean a lot, especially for content creators! we love hearing what you all think, what you like/dislike about our work, what you think of certain characters — absolutely anything! come and talk with us more whenever you can 💕

writing for kita feels calming somehow. normally the things that come up in my chest or my mind when i write gets nearly overwhelming if that makes sense? like i’ll have to pause and remind myself to breathe because it takes up so much of my attention that i kinda get lost, but with kita, it feels more flowey to me. it’s not demanding but more like a gentle coaxing kind of thing or like looking at the surface of a calm river. i was initially scared to write for him because i was worried i wouldn’t get him right, but i feel satisfied with how this turned out, i think. i hope you guys will find it as calming as i found it too! it might not be exactly what you wanted, but because i had already written the rejection of a person for atsumu’s soulmate oneshot, i wanted to play around with kita’s character and make it instead the rejection of a concept/idea? which would indirectly lead to him... you know, rejecting his soulmate initially, but— ahhhhhh it might make sense to just read it!! these rambles keep getting longer and longer :v i’m sorry for that!! please go ahead and read and tell me what you think in the end! 💕

NOTNING MORE THAN HUMAN ➽ KITA SHINSUKE x READER

genre: angst to fluff

au: soulmate

warnings: none

shinsuke kita is human.

and of course, that much is obvious. he isn’t a machine that’s incapable of feelings and emotions, whose heart is unfamiliar with melodies of an overwhelming joy, or the quiet hymns of deep rooted sadness. his skin still burns under righteous fury and anger, his tongue still weighs heavy under hesitance and silent worries. at the end of every long day, he’s still human.

it’s because he’s human that the words on his collarbone feel so heavy, as if they might cave into the bone and destroy him under their weight. it’s because he’s human that the sight of black markings in the mirror clouds his mind with a new kind of fear and worry. shinsuke kita is human, but he’s long since taught himself how to abandon anxiety and nervousness. he surrounds himself in familiar routines that calm the turbulent voices of doubt, he builds habits that ground him to the earth lest he should be swept away by the current. shinsuke has taught himself not to be afraid for the things that will happen everyday, but meeting his soulmate isn’t one of those things he can prepare for.

it’s a strange concept, he considers to himself. shinsuke doesn’t believe in words like fate or destiny, doesn’t care for the higher powers that should judge his actions. as far as he’s concerned, his own will is what dictates where his life goes — he’s in control, and that’s how it’s always been for him. let the gods watch, if they must, but he’s already decided that he’ll live by what is right, and he wouldn’t dare falter in the face of it. and yet — and it’s such a strange thing for him to do so — he pauses under the notion of a soulmate, of a destined partner who’s supposedly bound to him for as long as he should live. at first, he hadn’t given the idea much thought; it wouldn’t serve any purpose to worry about something that would happen whether or not he wants it, he decided. the truth of it is inevitable, just as the leaves must fall in autumn and the earth should be buried under clouds of white in winter. shinsuke is human — what more can he do but to accept it?

the black words that spread across his skin like droplets of ink became the bitter seeds of doubt that he hadn’t felt in a long time. it’s raining a lot today, isn’t it? the sentence by itself is so bland, like something maybe aran or anyone else might say to him in passing, and at first, it didn’t shake him too much, until he was caught one day under a sudden summer storm. seventeen year old kita somehow found himself stranded beneath a small shelter, where the wooden covering could protect him more than his umbrella until the rain passed. it was nearly unconscious, but he somehow found himself on edge, his breath faltered with the harsh pitter patter of rainfall that tumbled from green leaves and tore ripples from the surface of the lake. shinsuke kita found himself with a stomach full of butterflies and a thundering heartbeat that stole him away from solace and calm, cast the peace that he would so often carry with him away and left him stranded among chopping waves. every trembling breath he took stung on cold air and left him with a burning feeling on his lungs. it’s unfamiliar in its presence and shakes him to his core, but shinsuke kita is reminded of his own humanity when he realizes that what he feels, is anticipation and nervousness.

and it’s an odd thing. as he becomes aware of it, he finds himself twisting his fingers together during spring time; he worries his bottom lip between his teeth during unexpected showers. he feels like a child who stands in line to ride a roller coaster for the first time in his life — wide-eyed and drowning in the millions of feelings that race throughout his body. the feeling itself is nothing new, though it’s unfamiliar and intense in its ferocity and demand, seizes his heart and squeezes so tightly that whenever it rains, he’s left breathless.

it’s almost enough to drive him mad.

his very foundation seems to fall apart with the thunder that rolls across grey skies. for every drop of rain that hits the pavement, he finds himself a jittery mess as his heartbeat tears through his chest. the man who taught himself to abandon his fears reverts into the young boy who watched out for god, for the higher beings who watched his every move. and the thought that comes with every brilliant bolt of lightning burns him just as hotly, invasive and demanding when it flashes through his mind on a single, low whisper:

will you be happy?

shinsuke kita is human. he learns as he sees and lives as he’s learned, and what he saw growing up was that soulmates were bounded together till death do them part. a connection that’s set deep in stone, never to be erased by unforgiving weather and to persevere during the cruelest of storms. it’s an inevitable reality that the gods designed, so that mortals like himself should dance on stage and tell them a story. but shinsuke knows that not all these stories have a happy ending.

there are plays that end in tragedy and loss, those that only knew memories of pain and sang with death’s violin. man becomes the actor to a play that he has no choice in and dances on the puppet master’s strings, he surrenders control and gives himself up to the music, and he has no way of knowing the end of it until the curtains should fall. shinsuke has never been one to lay down his will, and yet, as winter melts once more into gray rain clouds and scattered showers, he’s reminded of his mortality, of the fate that’s been sealed away in the falling of rain. shinsuke kita is human, and so he must, like all men do, bend to fate’s will and never utter a word against her.

and for a long time, the sentiment caused him to completely reject the idea of a soulmate.

that feeling of helplessness that would wash over him with the rain turned into a bitterness that crushed his lungs between tightened fist. the acceptance of an inevitable waltz — whether it be to eternal happiness or to a cruel melody — turned into rebellious loathing that spat in the face of destiny. it’s entirely childish in its tale, like a toddler throwing a tantrum because he doesn’t want to give up his precious toy. that toy is his control, the power he had to live his life by his truth, not by that of a higher being. he’s human, after all, and humans are selfish and resentful by nature.

he finds himself with a heavy chest today, as well, as he waits for the pouring rain to subside. the small shelter in the middle of the garden park is familiar, and carries with it the memories of his epiphany, the one that created thunder storms in his once tranquil heart, and for that, he hates this place. the sound of the rain hitting the roof is like nails scratching against the chalkboard; the sound of droplets hitting the lake like an annoying whining that he can’t get out of his head. shinsuke curses this little pocket away from the world with all the childish anger in the world — let it be damned that doing so wouldn’t change anything. for once, he let himself go on a petty grudge against the universe, and against that looming stage and its heavy curtains.

it’s nearly faint, but he picks up on the patter-patter of footfalls that quickly approach him, and he turns bronze coloured eyes to find your rain-drenched figure running for shelter under the little gazebo. you’re out of breath by the time you make it underneath, letting out an exhausted and frustrated sigh as you press your hands to your knees, and shinsuke finds himself sympathizing with the way you bitterly push your hair from your face. you’re an ordinary office worker, from what he can see; you’ve hidden what looks to be a messenger back beneath your coat, leaving you to tremble in a thin button-up. this day’s downpour had been sudden, unexpected as spring would soon surrender to the approaching summer, and he imagines that he would have been in a similar position as yourself had he not packed his umbrella beforehand.

a silence settles over the both of you that’s only broken by the heavy rain, but the presence of it is so soothing that shinsuke finds himself breathing on a lighter air. suddenly the smell of petrichor turns sweeter, the melody of raindrops melting into a distant lullaby, and for the first time, shinsuke feels his heart melt under an indescribable sense of warmth despite the weather. and when your eyes turn to find his, a helpless grin on your lips, he feels that warmth explode under summer fireworks and coarse throhgh his veins like liquid lightning.

“it’s raining a lot today, isn’t it?”

for the second time in his life, shinsuke has an epiphany under the shelter in the garden.

he feels every bit of resentment vanish on a sudden gust of wind, one that sends raindrops splashing against his skin, but he doesn’t seem to notice. not when grey clouds suddenly reveal to him pillars of sunlight that embrace your figure and makes you glow against a background of green leaves. the rain turns into something sweet and enticing, and it suddenly gives shinsuke this unexplainable urge to grab your hand and dance with you underneath the pouring showers, where he can hear your voice ring out on chimes of laughter and innocent bliss. in mere seconds, he manages to let go of the dark clouds that he’d unintentionally harboured on his chest, he let them burst with the weight of anger and childish fury so that they would hit the earth on giant droplets of rain.

shinsuke kita is human — he’s imperfect, mortal. he feels and he thinks and he speaks what’s on his mind. he can hate, and he can love: he can make that decision on whether or not to hold useless grudges and to curse a destiny he can’t change, or to welcome that inevitability with the willingness to learn and grow.

today, as he stands beneath a wooden shelter, hiding from the heavy rains, he decides to stretch his hand out and let the water hit his skin.

davi hits 200 followers — haikyuu!! au writing event! 💕

taglist: @aiiishiiiteru @bootylikepeachy @tsumue

send an ask to be added!

#kita shinsuke x reader #kita x reader #kita x reader scenario #kita x reader imagine #kita x y/n #kita x reader angst #kita x reader fluff #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader imagine #haikyuu x reader angst #haikyuu x reader fluff #davi hits 200! ✨ #haikyuu!! au event 💫

[animeheadspace]

hope I ain’t to late- if so then feel free to ignore this!

for the matchup:) I’d like a Tokyo rev char.

- my personality is pretty chaotic, I’m a huge ambivert and socially awkward- mostly with new people or just random,though sometimes around family members N friends,rarely. When I’m feeling talkative I’m a huge chatter, pray that I’m not talking about a anime or manga I read,because honey, ill go on for hours. Other times when I’m feeling quiet, I just sit and do my own thing. with friends I can be so extra and dramatic,some times well all the time I crack flirty jokes and VERY flirty nicknames,mainly to get my friends to laugh! I like seeing people in good moods,negative ones just like bummer. Leading into Ive been told i can’t read between the lines or I’m oblivious- which leads to a lot of my friendships ending. I’m also pretty like quick to change things, my mind just races everywhere. I can get pretty angry,depending on what it is. I can handle it the right way, walk away,not speak on it and be nice. But if it bothers me, I’m a whole bomb,I will explode on someone and not hold back, which is more of than often what I do,but I know when something aint worth it. Though I do a lot of extra stuff, I’m shy- I can’t even talk to a cashier without stuttering Or just wanting someone to help. (like they ask me ‘speak up’ I CANT JUST GIVE ME MY STUFF’). But mostly I’m called weird, which is because of my view points on things, more about someones style, or what people like in relationships. laziness is me, i will cry if I have to get up and do anythin… I will procrastinate to the max. I’m also very understanding and supportive, I try to be the best help and listen, I hate judgmental people, I feel like everyone should be able to speak there mind and feel comfy. Which I expect back for me :).

my likes/dislikes - I like food- more sweet foods! indie/alt music, editing n writing! Chatting with close friends, oversized clothes, and monsters (the energy drink.) anime n manga, deep talks about personal issues (I just like to get it out,with someone I trust ofc)

now some things I dislike, BUGS. I hate them to the max, I will scream,run. Any type of bug,even a ladybug,I’m gone, really loud noises (like yknow them cars with loud engines? Or like a sink disposal , those sounds bother me.), hot weather, bullying, people who think they can talk to someone however, and lastly people who eat,with,there,mouth,open. LIKE CLOSE UR MOUTH JESUS. my love language is Quality time. I’m not really big on like touching n stuff, I wouldn’t mind it,yknow if the other person is into it, but certain times, I just cringe at it. Hand holding and stuff cool,but cuddling i cannot do unless Im tired. I will give 10 minutes to cuddle before I need to move around. I JuSt nEed Movement and I’d be too awkward. But like I said, if the person wants it, I’ll try. (If i like em enough JDJDJDJJD)

pass time activities, learning piano, I’m trynna practice my writing alot more! Tho mainly watching YT.

My appearance! I’m around 5’2-5’3, it think more to 5’3 though, I’m very close In height to someone 5’4,but there is a pretty noticeable difference. I have medium length black hair, in the front, my hair is orange/darker brown from the top (FROM A FAILED HAIR DYE ATTEMPT) they call me splotch bc it literally is. Splotch on my head fading to black👁👄👁. I have dark brown eyes! I have a kinda chubby face, chubby cheeks :> my body is curvy, with chubbiness ( insecure go brr-) which I like to hide in oversized clothes. Thick thighs save lives 🦵🏻🦵🏻

my pronouns are she/they!

I hope this is good,make sure to drink water bub!!!

hi! you aren’t too late, so dw about that…thank u for participating <3

ah, so you get the king of them all, sano manjiro. you included so much here and all the arrows point to mikey!! yall definitely met in a dorayaki shop. he was in front of you in line, attempting to buy his share with the change he had in his hand, but it was obvious that he didn’t have enough. you walked forward, a little bit embarrassed, and paid for the rest of mikey’s dorayaki with what extra you had on you - you share the love of dorayaki and what kind of person would you be to deprive another of sweet food? and mikey was shocked. he was so unused to people doing nice things for him, caring for him, that he asked if you wanted to share his dorayaki with him after leaving the cashier. you shook your head, pointing to your own dorayaki in your hand, but before you knew it, mikey had already shoved half in your mouth, awaiting your reaction. your mouth closed around the sweet cake and your eyes gleamed, despite your previous attempts at telling him you didn’t want it. mikey laughed a bit, and decided that he was never going to let you out of his sight.

obviously, you share his love with sweet food and snacks. his favorite activity to do with you is to go food hopping throughout tokyo, trying out new stuff with his hand in yours. mikey absolutely loves it when you fill up your conversation with whatever you’re obsessed with at the time - as someone who is canonically an introvert, mikey enjoys it when someone can talk to him casually in not an overbearing way. you always try to put a smile on mikeys face, especially after knowing about what happened to his family, and mikey couldnt be more appreciative of your kindness. he loves your weirdness, and never ever puts you in a situation where you feel uncomfortable. mans is literally leader of toman, a feared fighter known throughout tokyo and then he eventually becomes leader of bonten?? yeah, no one is touching a single hair on your head without his permission. he likes your hair too - he thinks that it definitely fits your personality!! he couldn’t care less about your chubbiness, instead choosing to see the real you through your passions of writing and playing the piano.

i think mikey is just as scared of bugs as you are though (cue draken coming in and rescuing the both of you). and i also think that mikey’s bluntness is just something you’d have to get used to, but you know that mikey would never intentionally hurt you. when whatever happened to emma and draken, you know happened, you became the sole tether he had to love, and you made sure to shower him with it every single day, telling him that he was enough. you even worked with takemitchy too to ensure that mikey could get the help he needed. yeah, he may have still formed bonten and consequently was paranoid about keeping you safe, but at least he wasn’t easily influenced by kisaki’s manipulation tactics - you help save hinata. mikey is complicated, but you’re there for him, and he knows you’re there for him too, which leads me to believe that everything will turn out perfect for the two of you.

hope you liked it!! also btw, im obsessed with your blog imma be participating some time soon 💕💕

#animeheadspace matchup event

[sarcastically-defensive17]

can i request an imagine where calum & the reader are dating and she gets in a car accident & totals her car? and calum and the boys are in another car and see traffic is slowed bc of the accident and cal recognizes her car and asks them to pull over as she’s freaking out because the ambulance is trying to help her calm down but she’s freaking out and can’t call cal because she can’t find her phone that’s in the car but she ends up fine w a few bruises and scratches & it’s all fluff at the end?

Gonna be late - C. Hood

TRIGGER WARNING: Description of car accident and physical injuries, and anxiety.

Sorry this took so long, lovie! Been super busy lately! Hope you like it!

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17

Car accidents are always shown as something so quick in movies.

A split second collision, the car jolts and is thrown around. The person inside is struck with whiplash and tossed about in a quick movement and often the aftermath is quite horrible.

Y/N discovered that movies are total bull Shit.

She was on her way to meet her friends, and her boyfriend, traveling down the Main Street of the town with music playing in the background as she thrummed her fingers along the steering wheel.

Calum always felt shy when she played his music, but she adored the sound of his voice. Every time his dulcet tone travels through the speakers a smile bursts onto her face.

She was listening to Babylon when it happened.

Anything that she had seen in the media felt like the biggest lie in that moment.

What was really a few minute action felt like a lifetime.

Her mind was focused on the road ahead of her, but the subconscious part of her mind was focused on the brown eyed man she gave her heart to.

They had been together for nearly 2 and a half years and at the point of considering living together.

Now, she had been on her way from work to meet with Calum, the guys and their girls for a much needed night out.

Between study and work she had barely had a time to relax, so Calum got onto Crystal who Y/N knew not to argue with about plans and organized for her to meet all of them at her favourite diner for dinner and drinks afterwards.

The sky was barely starting to go dark when the Subaru connected with the passenger side of the car.

She was doing 60 and her car was pushed sideways into the lane next to her.

The impact tore a grunt from her throat and the drivers side connected with a car parked on the side of the road.

Time seemed to slow as her head connected with the steering wheel and the drivers side door squashed in on her arm.

For a minute she saw black.

She came to with a pounding in her head that resembled a bad hangover, but the blood dripping in her eye brought her to her senses.

Despite the agony in both her arm and her head, she could only think of one thing: She needed to tell Calum she would be late. He would worry about her.

She just needed to get her arm out so she could get her bag that was on the passenger side. A quick text to Calum was all she needed

She just couldn’t reach.

<><><><><>

Calum couldn’t wait to see her. They basically lived together and saw each other every day, but last night he spent it at his own house.

She had an early class followed by a shift at work so he said goodnight to her at 7pm the previous night and left knowing he would see her at the bar the following day.

They were well past the honeymoon stage. Their love was past romantic, past companionate. They were bordering on full consummate love and he couldn’t find a moment where he didn’t have her at least in the back of his mind.

He truly loved her, and they both knew they shared the sentiment.

“All I’m saying is, you don’t know if zebras are black with white stripes, or white with black stripes.”

“What does it matter, Ash?” KayKay laughed from the front seat.

He decided to carpool with Ashton and Kaitlin, as he knew he was going home with Y/N that night.

Their conversations had ranged anywhere from aliens to the colour green and now to zebras and their stripes.

Cal couldn’t deny that he tuned out when KayKay and Ash were disputing the intensity of a specific shade of green.

The ride was energetic and gave off a certain ambience that Calum found himself basking in.

Lately, the only time he ever felt relaxed was with Y/N, but he was enjoying the time spent with his friends and the anticipation of seeing the woman he loved.

Hell, he was just excited to be able to sleep next to her that night. He always slept better with her beside him.

“Shit.” Calum felt the car slow, KayKay pushing her foot into the break with the pace of the car in front. “Calum is that-“

“It looks like it,” Ashton cut her off, whispering in a hushed voice for fear of setting off the Maori mans fight or flight.

They both knew that it would definitely be fight.

When it came to Y/N he would always fight for her.

His brown eyes captured the sight of her white Jeep. He knew immediately it was hers.

“Pull over,” he demands even though the car is almost at a complete stop.

His belt is off and his door is flung open. His ears are deaf to Ashton’s calls.

He clears a car and an ambulance comes into view. There are three paramedics crowded around the car, and two others tending to another car.

He didn’t know what had happened but he needed to know if his girl was okay.

He could hear her cries coming from the vehicle.

“I need to call my boyfriend,” she was breathing heavily. Her voice was cracking and sounded strained.

His heart broke at the sound. He could hear the pain she was in, yet her only thought was of him.

In any other circumstance he would be flattered, but all he could focus on was the paramedic telling her to stay calm because she has a head wound.

“No, please. You need to call him. You need to tell him I’m going to be late.” He got closer to the car, and he could see firefighters working at the door next to her.

Paramedics were on the passenger side of the car that had been dented, but at this moment he could care less about the car.

“Please, I just need to talk to him,” she was pleading.

“Ma’am you need to relax. We will call your boyfriend as soon as we can get you out and looked over.”

“But he’s waiting for me,” she was crying. From the pain or her stress, he didn’t know.

His feet felt more sluggish as he got closer to her, but he couldn’t stop his voice.

“Y/N?” He crouched down near where the paramedics were and his heart ached at the sight.

She was virtually untouched save for the head wound and her arm that had disappeared into the car door.

There were tears on her face and her skin was blotchy from the sobs underneath the blood.

Still, she lit up when she saw him.

“Calum! Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” she moved slightly, cringing at the pain in her arm. “Crystals gonna kill me. I ruined our night.”

Calum couldn’t help but laugh, “she won’t care, baby. It’s fine, I’m right here with you.”

“I’m guessing this is the boyfriend?” The paramedic quipped. He was tall but he managed to fit into the small space to hold a gauze against her forehead. “No more tears now?”

The firefighters made quick work of the door. It was crumpled around her arm and they needed to stabilize it as they moved her.

She was into the ambulance for an assessment not long after and they began the ride to the hospital.

Calum made sure to send a quick message to Ashton informing him of the situation, but he turned his phone off after.

He needed to focus on Y/N.

A few hours later and she woke up in a white hospital room, her arm in a cast and elevated and a thick wrap around her head.

Calum was asleep on a chair beside her. He was sleeping so peacefully.

Naturally, she throw a sock at him.

“Hey! Melon!”

He snorted awake, blinking deliriously at the girl perched on the bed.

Despite the pain she was in previously, she beamed at him. Her smile could always settle his worries.

“I’ll let that one slide but stop calling me that!” He laughed at her, standing up and stretching.

She used the one hand that wasn’t in the sling to make grabby hands at him, prompting him to laugh once again and settle on the bed next to her.

“So, dr. Hood. What’s the damage?” She smiled, nuzzling into him.

“The damage is that you have a shattered forearm and a mild concussion. Also, you’re never driving yourself anywhere again. You’re coming with me,” he whispered to her, pressing a kiss to his head. “I can’t tell you how scared I was when I saw your car on the side.”

“As scared as I was being yknow, the one in the car?” She winked, pulling him closer so she could hug him more.

“I love you, you know that right?” He kissed her forehead once again. It was his favourite place to kiss her. She believed it was the most intimate and sweet place to kiss somebody, and he had done so since they started their relationship.

“I love you too, Melon,” she smirked once again.

He was thanking anybody who was there to listen that she was okay. He couldn’t imagine what he would have done if she wasn’t.

“So, I think this is a good time to revisit our conversation about living arrangements,” he said as he toyed with her hands, resting her smaller fingers against his own. “Because, if we lived together, I could fulfill my dream of being your personal chauffeur.”

“Calum, your dream was to make it big with your friends.”

“And I did that. Now this is my new dream.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“You’re gorgeous,” he smiled.

She rolled her eyes, kissing him softly on the lips. “You want to do this? Live together?”

“I really do, baby,” he was staring so intently into her eyes that it forced a redness to rise.

“Then lets do it, Cal. Let’s move in together.”

A smile broke out onto his face, wider than it was before and he leaned over her to kiss her deeply.

“How about I get you a cute little nurse outfit and you can take care of me?” She winked as she pulled away from his lips, allowing him to roll his eyes deeply.

Tag list:

@mantlereid @starshonerose @theanswertoeverythingisl0v3

If you’d like to be apart of the tag list, send me a message or an ask!!

#calum hood #calum hood x reader #5sos #5 seconds of summer #calum #luke hemmings #ashton irwin #michael clifford #kaykay blaisdell

[izukult]

This is such a cute idea! I’m addicted to making weirdly specific Spotify playlists so this is perfect. I have an ✨eclectic✨ music taste but my favorites are usually bedroom pop (mxmtoon, chloe moriondo, khai dreams, etc), romantic classical (think Debussy and Revel), and indie (although I like some Megan Thee Stallion, AC/DC, Nirvana, etc when I’m hyping myself up). As far as my personality goes, I’m pretty insightful and like to support people whenever I can, even if I don’t know them well. I can be a little chaotic sometimes, but I like to think it’s a chaotic good. I love tea, blankets, philosophy, deep conversations, the outdoors, and writing. I’m also an INFP and a Taurus :)

Sorry if that was too much, thank you so much! Take care of yourself and stay well

- Elle ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

( @snoozless ) you don’t understand how bad i want to be your friend. 😐😐 ok so you kind of get bonus 😀 but it rly might not be bonus because akfjakdkw. so, i gave you matsukawa!! but he’s not always like revered about so if u want a character lmk!! i am. in love w him tho. you’re so sweet you would balance him out and yall would be equally chaotic together.

he would have philosophical questions w u!! he might just be a little blunt & might accidentally cut the convo short, but he would listen to everything you said.

he’s used to a wide variety of music bc i’m convinced the seijoh playlists are absolutely fucking cracked like so loud. so he really could sit there and listen to anything. and i mean ANYTHING. like if you wanted to put on christian rock he’d awkwardly try to tap his foot on beat for you.

but, that doesn’t mean he’s gonna geek over you i feel like he’d be pretty private about the relationship. he’s not like secretive but he’s not gonna post you every two seconds yknow? he wouldnt put prom photos, but if yall went to look at the stars or go on a little hike he’d take a pic and youre wearing baggy sweats and one of his shirts and your hair isnt brushed for shit and it’s way too dark to properly make your face out and he’d put that shit on his main absolutely 😒

this man would be the kind of mf to look up his “crush’s” zodiac just for shits & giggles, so if he randomly knows a taurus fact, don’t question it<3 (he looked up your compatibility and he will take that to the grave)

issei is an infp idc. so yall got that in common.

he’s genuinely so pretty.

bc i took so long, i’m going to put descriptions for all the songs i love you thanks for requesting sorry for taking forever i’ll link the playlist and list the songs<3

1. silly girl- chloe moriondo

okay while this song is actually kinda sad, i think tHIS is pretty cute. issei comes off as this intimidating guy, and the more you get to know him the more you forget ab this idea of him you had or whatever? like the lyrics “i made him perfect, cause i wanted him to be” are really prominent in the point i’m tryna make because like even tho the lyric is obviously sad bitch shit, music is up for interpretation and this is like “hello ok he actually a real mf and shiiit maybe he cool😁✊”

2. nice boys- TEMPOREX

kinda sad. i don’t care how unemotional he might act, everyone has shit that brings them down. PLUS HES A PISCES THERES NO WAY HES NOT SAD SOMETIMES. this song just really taps into insecurities for him, and the song just gets under his skin in like a very therapeutic way. also “because he’s a pisces” some of his emotions are super intense so the “because he cares too much” line hits him fuckin hard

3. IV. sweatpants- childish gambino

this is some shit he listens to more with his team, absolutely. no doubt they blare this shit during weekly practice. but, he really really likes the song. so, when you’re hanging out and he has the aux? it’s one of the first ones he puts on. you two jam to it together. he’ll come up w dumb little dances to fit with certain lyrics (stole some of them from oikawa and hanamaki, but he won’t tell you)

4. you get me so high- the neighbourhood

okay unfortunately i must say him and hanamaki get fuckin faded in empty fields at two am all trashy like. but they make it look good idc. and if you smoke, cool, if you don’t he does not care. he always associated getting high with,,, getting high and everytime he listened to this song it just was one of his getting blazed jams, but now he’s got like a different kinda “euphoric” feel with loving you? like i said this bitch is a pisces even if he doesn’t overwhelm you with affection, he thinks ab you 24/7

5. 80’s makeout session- dacelynn

thIS SONG IS SO CUTE. but it’s p self explanatory. in love and also spare a kiss pls

6. can i call you tonight- dayglow

i feel like actually coming to terms with genuine feelings for someone would be kind of weird for issei. like no offense, but he sees it as kind of a pain in the ass. i genuinely think he would be someone to put his all into work or a task in front of him. he’s super intuitive, and constantly uses it to be better. whether it’s in volleyball or like cremating ppl i guess (HE WORKS INA FUNERAL HOME POST TIME SKIP IF U DIDNT KNOW). and it’s the same in relationships, but it’s also harder because he can’t have this complete clear head because you make his brain go kinda fuzzy. so, this song is like his little way of expressing that even tho he was like ‘internally conflicted’ this mf chose to go for it and that’s how much u mean to him

7. clair de lune, L. 32- claude debussy

i’m gonna be fucking honest with you. even though he’ll listen to anything, i really don’t think this man is looking up ‘classical romance study tunes’ playlists in his free time. he definitely enjoys the music, but that’s only if someone points it out to him. and he’s listened to you talk about it before, and watched you as you heard the piano and gauged your reactions and thought u were pretty cute he’s not gonna lie😼. so he definitely just looked up classical romance and picked the first recommended song and added it on there. he’ll dance w you a lil bit, but it wouldn’t be that quiet, intimate slow dancing in the dark you think would come w this song. itd just be a little sway as he hugs you from behind while you get water, or he twirls you once randomly with a laugh UGH I LOVE HIM

8. like real people do- hozier

ok. this one was fun for me. idc. double meaning lol. so this song is literally about two dead bodies in a bog and ,,, and he works in a funeral home PLS LMAOFJAJDJA I THINK THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY AND SO DOES HE. but also this song literally is my idea of love. this is my idea of love. and yall listen to it, with your stupid little death joke, but he looks at you and he’s just like ‘oh’. yknow? YKNOW?

9. BS- still woozy

like i said, i think he puts a lot into work. and he literally plays for a powerhouse school there’s no way he doesn’t practice a lot. so that means there’s a lot of time where he’s physically not there and definitely can’t text, because he’s trying to improve. and while he wouldn’t stop volleyball for someone else, he understands that you are like super amazing for being so Cool with him not being the most available. the song just reminds him of how compassionate you are and also he does miss u when he’s at practice YKNOW?

10. i <3 u- boy pablo

this one made me so fucking soft ew. ok. this song reminds him of you so so much. he’s totally okay being vulnerable with you? and even though he has pretty heightened emotions, he’s never felt like so strongly for smth other than like ??? volleyball and caring ab his siblings (BUT HE FEELS DIFFERENT FOR U THAN HE DOES FOR A VOLLEYBALL AND HIS SIBLINGS PLEASE😁). HE LUVVVVV YOU

11. heart-shaped box- nirvana

so many reasons. for one, simply fucking JAM. yall would scream this on a drive. if you ever got drunk together, this would be the first song you play. also, little lyrics remind you of each other. (the pisces lyric in the first and third verse, and even tho the flowers aren’t being used in a sweet sense in the song he does remember talking ab flowers w u, and now any flower is mentioned and he’s like “ah yes. my girlfriend.”)

12. pluto projector- rex orange county

FUCK. FUCK THIS SONG. GOD. NO. LIKE HE REALIZES HE’S IN LOVE WITH YOU WITH THIS SONG. HE T E L L S YOU HE’S IN LOVE WITH YOU WITH THIS SONG. the first time, he just sends you the name of it like ‘pluto projector <3’ and you listen and it’s so sweet and ur like ayo turn this shit up. and he adds it to your playlist, which definitely gets a smile from you. and then one night like two weeks later youre just laying together, and he’s running his fingers through his hair and he pulls away for a second to grab his phone and he turns the song on and you just listen to it in silence and it’s so fucking intimate. and he’s just like “i don’t think i’ve ever related to a song more” and you think he’s making a joke so you tell him to shut up (also jokingly) and he just laughs and it’s dark in his room and he’s playing with your hair again and he just goes “god, if you’re telling me to shut up over that i don’t even want to imagine how you’re gonna react when i tell you i love you” and it’s right around 3:10 in the song i’m literally so gone for him. bye you cry and try to hide it but he can tell HES PERCEPTIVE

13. i wanna be yours- arctic monkeys

okay for one, it’s a good song. it’s a song he absolutely let’s play in the background, just to cover the static lol. but also? ALSO? THE TITLE APPLIES TO YOU THE FUCK? it’s as if,,, he’s whipped,,

14. supermassive black hole- muse

hanamaki prolly showed him this song, and it’s one of his vibe songs. he will do falsetto while singing it if he’s in a really good mood and it just makes everyone laugh, including himself. it actually kind of grosses him out, because this song used to literally just be a song he would aimlessly go hard to but NOW his little bitch ass is like “you set my soul alight”? i guess i relate and “oh baby, i’m a fool for you” well, surely i’m not a fool but yea i get you muse sing it. it’s so gross. at this point he wants one thing that doesn’t make him think of you, just to prove that he’s not that gone, but he struggling

15. desperado- rhianna

i’m sorry to say it but this song makes him feel like a bad bitch LMAOOOOO. like if he’s ever getting pregame jitters or anything, he will just play this song. whether it’s on the speaker or in his headphones, he puts this shit on full volume and gets a lil too cocky LOL. this is also on the main seijoh playlist no doubt. he wants to share his bad bitch song w you, so you can aLSO feel like a bad bitch?? dUH

IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT BABES! IF YOU WANT ANY OF THE SONGS CHANGED (or even the character) LMK!! UR AMAZING ur so sweet it makes me ill

#haikyuu #haikyuu playlists #ikigaitooru playlists #matsukawa issei #mastukawa x reader #matsukawa playlist #haikyuu x reader

[levucky]

al horford sleeper agent

—————

anyway by now ive told basically everyone i care about but i had a life changing experience over the weekend. n it sounds dumb as shit but i met a real life dude who was basically a clone of nick from franz. weird hours. guess this is a thread

before we start i want to say i havent thought about franz in weeks. theyve gone away on their own finally but really i think my old obsessions just get replaced every few years and maybe it was my hard work in therapy or my new obsession with rap or

maybe it was just a realization or me growing up and maturing or something but i dont even want to work on my favorite fanfics anymore or anything. it’s just odd. i think im changing

and i don’t think about how my former favorite band members are doing or worry about them or check their socials n it feels really good. but i know there probably is or probably will be a replacement

ok that was a tangent. if they were replaced by anything they were replaced by new friends and the NBA. so there’s the exposition of this story sorted

anyway back to the weekend. the sleeper agent invited me to lunch. and that was the catalyst. god people are being so loud in here let me go to the art library

anyway i just kind of realized "huh i guess there's more out there." i went to lunch n shit. WE went to lunch n shit. stopped caring so much about my math homework. let myself be dumb and in love

that’s a very human thing. lunch. he spilled his stupid chipotle burrito all over his stupid bright green celtics jacket

he’s from italy. never even stepped foot in a chipotle. immediately clowned himself. some world we live in

we hung out all weekend. we went to lunch like two more times and we went to dinner. there was this big threat of leaving looming over my head the whole time. i made him walk like a mile on crutches and i feel very bad about it

i don’t know what’s wrong with him. it’s somewhere between a basketball injury and a chronic disability. either way that just made me feel even more emotionally attached to him. i never saw him without the celtics jacket

it was so cold that weekend. or maybe i just didn’t bring the right jacket. if he were a gentleman he would have offered me the celtics jacket. i didnt even hug him goodbye

and then of course he went back home. theres a million girls all over his instagram comments all the time. theres nothing special about me. he doesn't want to talk. i wrote my ap psych notes in green yesterday bc i was so in love with that stupid celtics jacket

im a sixers fan. the sixers and the celtics have been rivals forever. it was about to be war, except i want to move to boston. but really i want to move to dc. i wish the whole world was philly. things would be less complicated

im in love with a celtics jacket. a celtics jacket. of all teams. and i cant even talk to my basketball friends about it because they think im dumb shit for falling for some celtics fan with a million girls all over his instagram comments all the time

im not like those girls. i don’t think im like those girls. but i definitely exactly am

i have an economics test in fifteen minutes. i think one day ill drown in the atlantic ocean.

the test wasnt that bad. i thought about writing this the entire time. i would just zone out and stare and think about the phrase ‘al horford sleeper agent’

because he has to be. why else would someone put a diehard sixers fan right in front of a diehard celtics fan who looks exactly like the guitarist of their middle school favorite band

in reality i should be calling him a celtics sleeper agent because the whole point is that al horford is a sleeper agent for the celtics. but i hate al horford so i guess it’s more funny to include him in the title

i mean how can one player change so drastically like that? al horford was benched for the first time since his rookie season, like, two weeks ago after being traded to the sixers. how does that happen? why *wouldn’t* he be playing badly so his old friends win the title?

al horford’s gotta be retiring in like, three years, tops. he’s working for the celtics, i know it. and my sleeper agent is trying to convert me to a celtics fan

i understand why people make jokes, though. it’s a very human thing to want to go home. al horford just wants to go home. he lived in boston for however many years let me look it up

god whatever it was only three years i thought it was like eleven that just ruined my point

back to the matter at hand though that’s all we’re trying to do. we all just want to feel at home. we’re all just these little things trying to connect somehow. sometimes we are more desperate than others

i think im pretty desperate right now. sometimes i sit in my bedroom and im like damn when do i get to go home? but im home

i didn’t even want to leave dc. it was all star break and there wasn’t even basketball on. so there i was, in basketball purgatory, wizards territory for some god forsaken reason, losing sleep over a celtics fan and not wanting to go home

and when i say i was losing sleep you better believe me. i was so excited to wake up in the morning that i didn’t want to fall asleep. i wanted to be awake forever, endless, running through the city

i’ll get there soon enough. it’ll be with different people. college, yknow. all that. but sometimes i feel like certain things can’t be replaced.

and im acting like a different person lately. im using my phone at red lights just so i can check for a message from the sleeper agent. it’s always one word responses

yes. ok. maybe. some shit like that. a haha every once in a while. he’s not interested and i should stop trying

and then, INEVITABLY, i send something stupid back, a photo of my hand on the wheel or something, and i get left on read

and i know im stupid for it. everyone i know is screaming at me “disco, you’re dumb shit” but i just want to believe for a minute that im loved, im special

I want to feel like someone out there cares about me that isn’t obligated to, yknow? my mom can say she loves me all she wants but it doesn’t feel as good as some italian celtics fan saying it

some hot italian celtics fan mind you

even if he wasn’t hot or italian it would be nice. and actually it would be better if he liked like, ANY other basketball team

except maybe the knicks

but whatever. main point: i know im dumb shit and should stop trying. but it feels good to feel like if i keep trying maybe i’ll be wanted

sleeper agent is just one of those people tho. he’s magnetic and everyone always wants to be around him. dumb as hell in the most charming way ever. my friends are still all making fun of me

i started crying in a pizza place the other night because even the CONCEPT of italy sent me over the edge. i need to stop before i

wait what’s the word

i need to stop before i immortalize him? no, no

i need to stop before i deify him. soon enough he’s going to be a new canonical character in my head and i’ll start making up legends and stories to myself

we barely knew each other. if i deify him i’ll start telling people he offered me the celtics jacket when it was cold out. he’ll become a perfect gentleman. and he wasnt. he was just some stupid hot italian boy in a bright green jacket

im not going to deify him. it won’t happen. but i love the color green. i always say i love yellow more but i think that’s passed. i wear a green ring on my right ring finger every day. im not going to deify him and i still hate the celtics

overall, the celtics are winning the rivalry. i don’t think the sixers have ever truly been ��great,” at least outside of philly. maybe allen iverson. wilt chamberlain. dr j? theyve never had like, a dynasty. idk. i don’t think you’d be able to get a sixers jacket in italy.

it’s his birthday today. i should probably text him. i should probably stop thinking about him. that’s just dumb shit, disco youre better than this what happened to a little self confidence every now and again

sure lets say external validation isnt necessary but also i think that’s something the mindfulness crowd made up to sell more planners and tote bags in 2011. it feels good to be wanted

never waste all your time on it sure. know youre still worth it even when you have no friends and there are a million girls all over his instagram comments. but it does feel good to hear “goodness disco i like how much you like the philadelphia 76ers”

my friends are all making fun of me for being on some romeo and juliet shit because he’s literally from verona and he’s a celtics fan and im a sixers fan god damn it disco why does this always happen

i never even read romeo and juliet but i saw the dreamworks adaptation so i guess ive got the story relatively right i know they die in the end. the gnomes shatter into little pieces i think

anyway tangents aside the sixers won tonight. philly is lit up green. why the hell is philly lit up green? the eagles were done like three months ago and the flyers are orange. why is philly lit up green

oh god, he just snapped me. a zoomed in photo of himself with caption that says “76ers” with like five exclamation points

here we go again, everybody

wish me luck

#writeblr #writing #original writing #creative writing #narrative #my writing #philadelphia 76ers #boston celtics #nba #just inspo lmao #also jacket boy is currently quarantined for coronavirus #just thought id add that with the news out if italy #pip pip cheerio #al horford #al horford sleeper agent #narrative nonsense #disco is my real name

[jaeyooniverse]

🦉 Nah i don’t have money for that and i’m supposed to graduate this summer so no time nor money for that. And they haven’t announced anything for my continent yet. So you saw sf9 live? How was it?? Also, fangirl time: what are your fave things about jaeyoon and dawon??

ah i totally understand that! hopefully you’ll have other opportunities to see them! and oh where are you from? :o 

yes i’ve seen sf9 live and it was absolutely amazing!! which is wild bc at the time i barely knew them. like i knew all the members and listened to their music but i still didn’t know much about them yknow? like i didn’t watch that much of their stuff, just a couple of videos here and there. but after the concert i absolutely fell in love with them :((

okay the main reason it took me a while to answer this ask (sorry) was bc i needed to mentally prepare myself for that question sdhfkjh i have no idea how long this is gonna get so i’m gonna put this under a read-more. and i apologize in advance for how much of an incoherent, fangirling mess this is probably gonna be 😅

my favorite thing about jaeyoon is just vibe(?) like hes just so chill but also can be so chaotic esp with certain members and i guess that lowkey reminds me of myself bc i can be quiet but oh God when i’m with my best friends,, we’re such a mess 😂😂 also there’s just something about him,, idk if you asked me how he became my bias i would have no idea what to say bc i’m not entirely sure LMAO legit i just was minding my business watching a video and when he appeared i swear my heart stopped and i just,,, i think that’s what people mean when they say “love at first sight” bc i’ve never experienced anything like it,, so i think that’s part of what makes me biasing jaeyoon so special for me bc it was just so sudden and the more i got to know him the more i loved about him :((  idk like he just has some sort of attractive aura,, i can’t get enough of him. i feel like he’d be really nice to hang out with :( and i love his voice!! both his speaking and singing voice!! his voice is so good for ballads and ost’s but also pop songs like he can really do anything i will just go *heart eyes* i love watching vlives bc i just like listening to him talk i just think his voice is so nice and also cute at times tbh 🤧 and his laugh!! oh it’s so heartwarming like you cant hear him laugh and not get a little happy yourself 🥺🥺 you can’t mention jaeyoon & his laugh and NOT talk about his breathtaking smile like !!! i didn’t know people’s smiles could be THAT beautifully astounding but jaeyoon showed me it’s possible! the way his face brightens,, his precious cheeks,, omg someone stop me before i cry i cant look at pics of him smiling for too long or else i’ll tear up

okay so for dawon,, i just think he’s really sweet and soft and considerate i’m just so WEAK for him and the little ways he shows his love for fantasy 🥺😭😭 he sincerely enjoys talking with (and teasing) his fans and he’s so cutely excited when interacts with us sometimes like on the last bingbang when he was chatting about old tv shows or something and i think there was one he forgot the name of ? but someone knew and told him and he just got so excited he legit bowed on his bed in the middle of his vlive i just shjkfdshjk and he’s so humble and modest it’s so adorable whenever he’s reading comments that are like ‘you’re so handsome’ and he shyly smiles (UGH HIS SMILE,,  i cry 😭😭😭) and is like ‘oh stop don’t say that’ oh hes so precious he just wants to make everyone laugh and be happy ;( i also love his voice!! i’m surprised i didn’t claim him as bias or wrecker earlier tbh bc he had always been one of my favorite vocals in sf9 (esp since watching that medley video with him, jaeyoon and rowoon?? i still cannot get over his voice in that) there’s something about his voice it’s just so sweet and pretty and i cannot get enough of it,, so you know i absolutely melted when he did that one vlive a month or so ago when he was just singing songs to us 😭😭 i just,, love dawon,,,got a big fat crush on him  ever since i started watching his solo vlives and now look at me,, there’s no going back😔😔😔

#thank you for that question i was very excited to answer it i love rambling about my boys #even tho i never feel like i can sufficiently express my feelings haha #anyway i hope you had a nice day! <3 #asks #🦉 anon

[thatfunkyopossum]

um, hi. I don’t know what to say but, any words of encouragement would be nice. My family and I just had a huge argument. They called me nasty and that I use my mental health as a crutch. They were screaming at me and don’t want me to see a therapist bc she’s ‘putting things in my head’ like some of the abuse I’ve suffered from family members and I’m just in a bad way atm, crying in my bedroom and such yknow, depressed things. So I’m kinda in a state and scared. I don’t wanna be here anymore. Ty

While some people use their mental health issues as a crutch, theres a difference between recognizing your limits and setting boundaries based on the information you have after knowing that you have an illness. Understanding that you cant do certain things sometimes, or even all the time, because of your condition is understandable and healthy. 

Its okay, you’re not wrong for taking care of yourself.

I’m so proud of you for getting help and seeing a therapist. When we first find out that we’re unwell, part of the healing process can be just basking in the thought that you have a reason to be the way you are. It can be easy to just let your mental illness be your permanent state because its easy, and familiar. Therapy can be hard and scary. Healing can take a long time and take so much work. I’m so proud of you anon, I’m so proud of you for taking that step. 

Your abuse was real, I’m sure. Your family members may not understand that what they did was abusive, but that doesn’t make it okay. It doesn’t make it okay for them to treat you badly and try to deny you the care you need.I’m proud of you, and someday you’ll be away from them and you’ll be happy and better, you just have to make it there.

If there are any specific words you need to hear right now, feel free to message me and i’ll be happy to tell them to you

#jaymes answers #advice #Anonymous

[morphogenetic]

why you should play the ds version of 999 first and not the nonary games version: a thread

excuse the formatting of this bc im copying it from my twitter as text, but: why you shouldn’t play the nona/ry games version of 999 on your first run, a thread. lots of this has been said by other people too but i figured i would condense my opinions + what other people have said. 999 spoilers ofc, also vague vlr spoilers later on but the 999 spoilers are a lot worse lmao.

this is ABSURDLY long and i am sorry but tl;dr spoiler free version: buy tng anyway so you can easily play vlr in hd and to support the games, but play 999 on either a ds or an emulator if you have to because boy howdy the story is really meant for this platform (if you’re replaying 999 in the tng version after originally playing the ds version none of this applies LMAO)

(also this isn't meant to at ALL be angry at people who played the t/ng port first! im sad y'all didn't get to experience the dual screen version, but at this point t/ng is much more accessible and a lot of people don't even KNOW about the ds-original thing, so it's not your fault!!  like i WISH to god that they had ported it in some dual-screen/two-screen way, but the fact that they didn't isn't anyone's fault. ok end this part y'all are so valid i just feel sad that you didnt experience the game in its Best State)

spoilers below the cut

1) the big one: the implementation of the dual screen thing. they were always going to have a hard time implementing this on not-a-3ds, but i'll start with the non-spoilery part: action mode...is bad. the fact that they force you into it. is bad. novel mode is more passable but the fact that they default you into a mode with nearly 95% dialogue-only, in a visual novel, is..pretty gross, and the fact that they force-switch you into novel mode sometimes anyway is. maybe an indication that having a 95% dialogue route in a visual novel...wasnt good

  they EASILY could have done a split-screen mode instead, and while that wouldn't have been ideal either, it would still have allowed for the incorporation of both screens simultaneously without having to make compromises

also, petty spoiler thing, but some of the dialogue rewrites to make action mode flow better took out one of my fave pieces of foreshadowing. the main example of this is in junpei's flashback thing to getting kidnapped near the beginning of the game. in t/ng, they had him voice the 'huh, did i leave that open?' line, with respect to his window being open because, you know, zero 'bout to kidnap him. in the original, this is /not/ on the top screen (i.e. voiced by junpei) - it's on the bottom screen. without quotes, i.e. it's not something he's thinking but it's there, in the same formatting as the rest of the descriptions. in other words.....zero is the one saying 'huh, did i leave that open?' in real time, foreshadowing the dual screen twist. this is SO minor in comparison to everything else for SURE but the fact that this got left out still makes me so sad bc i LOVED it. anyway.

 (also the fact that the narrative mode twist of all the random gore descriptions being food-like makes WAY more sense in retrospect with the dual screens, because of course a fucking 12 year old wouldn't know how else to describe gore lmao. this is kind of lost in t/ng because it makes it out to be more of something that jun/pei is thinking but i digress. dual screen for dual protagonists good thanks)

2) (YES IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO GET HERE. SH) the final puzzle.....in t/ng....fucking sucks. not only because the puzzle itself sucks, which uh...it does (PASSWORD IS THE PASSWORD?? FUCKING REALLY??). but a) it loses the theme-ing of the sudoku itself since, yknow. 9s everywhere but, 

b) more importantly, it just...doesn't have the same punch to it. even ignoring the fact that the sudden upside-down-ness is one of the best ways i've ever seen a puzzle suddenly hit you with a plot twist/a revelation, in this case the 'oh shit, we were solving puzzles from akane's viewpoint the whole time and /only now/ are we truly doing it with junpei being the input source' is just. fucking masterful. explaining this is so hard but i promise it makes sense. like obviously the twist w the dual perspectives thing is revealed right before but the fact that they suddenly (literally) flip the entire game on its head is just. *chef kiss* so good. 

also, adding to this, c) the fact that the tn/g version took out the fact that you were seeing baby!kane's face while you were doing the sudoku just adds to the emotional impact of the puzzle. like, in that moment, the puzzle itself isn't the relevant factor, it's the fact that you're doing the puzzle to save her. i no joke started fucking CRYING irl when that happened bc of how hard that hit me emotionally and the fact that they didn't even have something to mimic that in t/ng makes me so goddamn sad. it's not about the puzzle, its about Saving someone via the puzzle, and they just...removed that part. h

(also another dual screen thing here bc i forgot to add it earlier: the constant perspective-swapping thing during the true end feels much less awkward on the ds since you can just naturally shift your eyes between the screens. again, minor, and there probably was never going to be a great way to implement this with a single screen regardless, but it really does flow so much better with two screens. 3ds port of tn/g when)

3) finally, a more Controversial Opinion, but the timeline flow, while absolutely great for replays, kind of ends up spoiling you on the fact that there are multiple timelines that you have to search through for the truth. i wouldn't have minded this so much if the timeline feature in t/ng only unlocked after you hit your first ending, but they didn't do that - they let you look at it from the very start, which really..misses the point of the game. 

(minor vl/r spoilers incoming) in vlr, the fact that you know you have multiple branches from the start makes sense, especially both because it's SUPER obvious that there are branching points (door choices, allying/betraying, etc). obviously 99/9 has choices like that too ala the door choices, but you're actively -not- jumping between timelines. that's the point! because junpei CAN'T jump!! he's an esper, sure, though maybe only one by accident/strong emotional connection [thats a whole different thread LMAO], but the whole point is that he can't make timeline choices  in the same way that phi and sigma can literally timeline shift.

(end v/lr spoilers here i think) tl;dr the timeline feature is great for replays bc its super anti-frustration but boy howdy they did not implement it well. final point:  the fact that you have to play 999 from the beginning every time you get an end makes sense narratively since akane has to do the same thing - she has to go through the whole route (in junpei's head ofc) over and over, she can't just skip around. again, anti-frustration feature that i'm glad they added, but you still lose something w t/ng this way

like ngl, having to fast forward through things instead of just skipping around is annoying as hell, but akane had to do the same goddamn thing! probably way more than we actually have to do it in the game, tbh. definitely this is me prioritizing certain limitations of the ds hardware as important to the narrative but you really do end up missing out if you can just skip at will

4) very minor thing that isnt actually a plot thing at all but  some of the puzzle dialogue is infinitely funnier when you have the ability to see the characters on the top screen talking at the same time you have the puzzle stuff on the bottom screen. this mostly applies to all the stuff with the cards w all the player faces on them in the...cargo room? like it's still funny without it but somehow seeing santa talking about himself on the card when he says 'that's one handsome son-of-a-bitch!' is 500x funnier when you literally see him TALKING about himself

JESUS FUCK THIS IS LONG IM SO SORRY IF YOURE ON MOBILE

#zero escape #am i tagging this? yeah. it needs to be said lmao #999 #9 hours 9 persons 9 doors #nine hours nine persons nine doors #ok to rb #long post #(i mean i put it under a cut but. jic)

[midnight-circus]

another bullshit meme

from sidebloggable

answered for logan and lucius bc i dont talk about my big dumb idiot enough

and im actually gonna answer for their original Fable timeline bc ive been feelin nostalgic recently

Their physical weak spots

Logan - depends on his age and/or stress-levels. He has a fair amount of upper body strength from swinging twin swords around all the fucking time, but it wouldn’t be ridiculously hard to overpower him if you could disarm and get hold of him - however, he’s fast, agile and extremely skilled, and it’s getting hold of him in the first place that’s the issue. In the middle of his reign, on the other hand, his body condition takes a dramatic dive - he’s pretty severely underweight and loses a lot of his muscle tone, and it really wouldn’t take much at all to best him. 

Lucius - Lucius is a big, heavy mercenary who fights with a broadsword, so it’s hard to get the best of him in a one-to-one melee fight. However, he’s missing his left eye and is deaf in his left ear - subsequently if you use a little bit of stealth and come at him hard and fast from the left, you’ve got a pretty good chance of getting the jump on him. He’s also into middle-age and despite having decent reactions, a younger man of the same build as him might just pip him to the post.

Their emotional/moral weak spots

Logan - oh god lmao. Logan’s a mess, but his primary emotional weak spot is his siblings - be they his original two (hey queenie and dorian) or Morgan. I think he feels a bond that’s closer to paternal than fraternal, and I think the only way he can really justify to himself the pain he puts them through is telling himself he’s doing it for them. ok honestly, he will do fucking anything for them. at the climax of the revolution, the primary thought running through his head is how fucking proud he is. be nice if he said it out loud every once a while - hell, itd be nice if he’d just asked for some fuckin help before causing the literal death of hundreds of people - but yknow. thats just going one step too far i guess

Lucius - he’s a bleeding heart. when Morgan and his little band of rebels rock up in the Dweller village, Lucius is already there running supplies up and down the mountain to them; he watches way too many kids starve to death, and joins up with the rebels in order to lead them through Mourningwood. then he gets a crush on morgan’s little bitch face and just like. never leaves lmao. He’s easily blinded by injustice and gets worked up really quickly when he sees wrong being done - it can lead him to act recklessly or thoughtlessly at times.

Scars or painful spots

Logan - asides from the obvious scars across his lips (fencing wounds when he was a boy), he took some nasty damage from the Crawler during the three days he was trapped in the Auroran cave - he’s got a network of scars on his back that look a little like lashmarks. they hurt when they’re touched and he Does Not talk about them. he’s also got a few other scars here and there on his arms and chest from miscellaneous scraps and scuffles, and he has a deep puncture scar on his abdomen from an assassination attempt, but the less said about those the better.

Lucius - lmao Lucius is literally missing half his face to scar-tissue. he was attacked by a dog as a boy and it left him heavily messed-up. he’s also a merc, as i said, so he’s got a lot of miscellaneous old wounds but nothing quite as obvious as the ones his face. 

Best places to kiss on their body

Logan - oh, the neck, bitch. he’s also kind of a slut for being kissed on the insides of his wrists; anywhere vulnerable, basically. if you could kill him there, kiss him there. freak-ass bitch.

Lucius - dude just likes a nice traditional french kiss man nothing crazy. but also definitely give him a blowjob. i know this question said kissing but lets be real thats kind of a kiss.

Guilty pleasures

Logan - he reads really terrible novels. like…really terrible. he pretends he’s reading something highbrow and intellectual but its actually a shitty romance recovered with something suitably acceptable and nobody can know

Lucius - he doesnt have any ‘guilty’ pleasures tbh, he just enjoys stuff unashamedly. he’s too thick to feel guilty

Their vices (physical or emotional)

Logan - lets be real, he’s probably done, like. an impressive amount of coke. i guess the terrible sleeping and eating habits are probably also a vice but like. it’s mainly the coke

Lucius - he smokes like a fuckin chimney

Their tickle spots

Logan - not only does he not have any, but you would also die for trying. Elrick disagrees.

Lucius - his ribs, but he is uncontrollably violent when he’s tickled so its a real good way to get a broken nose. he doesn’t mean to do it, he just spasms. 

Bad memories/experiences

Logan - lmao. I’ll skip the most obvious (the 3-Day Auroran Extravaganza) because i think that goes without saying - it left him with crippling PTSD and damaged his mind heavily and insidiously. he was already pretty traumatised by his childhood and i think being forced into so many responsibilities so young also messed him up a little. it’s more like….rather one one or two specific experiences, its more just a general feeling of Bad that has stuck with him throughout his life. It was worsened by his later experiences, and essentially primed him for failure.

Lucius - yknow i was thinking about how to word the answer to this question and i realised that i accidentally made Lucius into Batman. His family farm was attacked and burnt to the ground by bandits when he was about 12; his parents and siblings were killed, and he only escaped by hiding in the coal-cellar. Later, he joined up with the mercenaries to try and track down the group that targeted them. fuck hes batman. i didnt mean to batman

Humiliating memories

Logan - oh man his father was a pro at humiliation. mistakes or oversights werent just punished, they were fuckin learned from, and he figured the best way to do this was humiliation - generally through public displays of What You Did Wrong and repeated recitations of the mistake in front of the people whose opinions Logan valued. It was kind of the catalyst for his inferiority complex and intense desire to succeed without input from others. 

Lucius - again, Lucius doesn’t really experience embarrassment - he’s kind of too laid-back for it. yes, it was embarrassing the one time he fell over carrying two milk buckets and threw them all over himself in front of the handsome boy from the next farm over and the guy started laughing at him but like. you live and learn and the dude turned out to have a really ugly laugh anyway so who cares

Fears/phobias

Logan - he’s always had claustrophobia, but after the Auroran Experience this intensifies to a whole new level, and he also develops crippling nyctophobia. part of this is due to his hallucinatory psychosis - he sees things pretty much constantly, but it worsens in low lighting - but it’s also due to the fact that there may very well be actual Things in the dark and he struggles to tell reality from hallucination

Lucius - dogs. fuckin dogs. he hates dogs theyre literally so scary even the small ones bc the small ones move so quick and you never know when theyre gonna come at you

Bad or petty habits

Logan - oh, he’s just a petty bitch. he’s also outwardly arrogant, even if his internal feelings don’t match up to that. drily sarcastic, too, tho a person only really sees that when they get past the walls he throws up - Elrick is very familiar with it. 

Lucius - he’s constantly standing to the right-hand side of people and then he wonders why he cant hear them properly

Grudges and vendettas

Logan - he’d hold a grudge against his father if he wasnt dead. he also holds a pretty heavy grudge against Theresa for not just fucking telling him.

Lucius - at first, only against the bandits that killed his family, but once he deals with them hes kind of at a loss as to where to go next. fortunately Logan starts starving people shortly afterwards, so if nothing else it gives him a kickstart into the rest of his life. Subsequently, Lucius will hold a vendetta against Logan for the rest of his life, even after he has been in a relationship with Morgan for years - he will never forgive him for the shit he put the common people through, and he doesnt really give a shit about the ~pressures~ Logan was under at the time. fuckin excuses, man. 

Ingrained habits/forces of habit

Logan - his terrible sleeping/eating patterns. even before trauma and night-terrors made it almost impossible for him to sleep peacefully, he didn’t get more than 5 or 6 hours a night, if that.

Lucius - if something is smaller than him, he’ll protect it. he’ll also protect things bigger than him, if given half the chance. hes basically a golden retriever in human form, which is ironic considering his feelings about dogs.

What it takes to make them cry

Logan - would rather die than cry, quite literally.

Lucius - his heart is softer than butter, he’ll cry at anything. he’ll cry at an injured pigeon on the street. 

Dark secrets/’skeletons in the closet’

Logan - never, ever, ever talks about what happened in Aurora. The details die with him.

Lucius - he doesn’t really have any - he’s not ashamed of much in his life, and he’s never done anything terrible enough to render it a skeleton. 

People they’ve hurt or indirectly killed, and how it affected them

Logan - L M A O. yes, it affected him terribly, but tbqh however much its affected him kind of plays second fiddle to how much his actions affected other people.

Lucius - has killed a lot of people who deserved it during his mercenary years, and justifies it to himself by being absolutely certain that they did deserve it. sometimes he doubts this, though, and that doubt plays a big part in his eventually getting out of the game entirely

People who’ve influenced them greatly

Logan - Walter, tho he’ll never admit it in a million years and he still definitely kneecapped him right at the start of the game so idk what that says about him

Lucius - Morgan. it’s real gay, i know, but there it is.

#logan1 #lucius1

[icharchivist]

perso-rant underneath and at first i intended it to be more light hearted but welp cant dive into myself without digging the bad stuff so just ignore this as rambling.

(idk if the cut works on mobile so as usual blacklist #ichapersonal to skip it , its quite long)

its night and im noisy and all but yknow part of the reason m/lb is such a healing show for me and i rewatch it every couple of days?

i cry everytime M.arinette's family is on screen pretty badly bc i get so envious all the time. i hate my shitty family (and often can relate to A.drien's ressentment) so just seeing such a /healthy/ family being often shown litterally brings me to tears. im like C.hat in the animan episode when he stares at the family picture with a sweet smile (another detail that stupidly make me cry who allowed th i s)

like. i dont relate to A.drien's relation to his family but some of the emotional effects is often a moment of "welp. mood." and being kinda sad /for him/ even if i can feel it for myself too. but then with M.arinette's family everytime they get to be on screen i realize how happy this sort of dynamic makes me and it makes me /so envious/.

like my mom is an artist and an excellent cook but she always barred those interests from me bc it was /hers/ and it was for /her ego/ and this attitude just killed every curiosity i had and remplaced it with a complete unability to care.

i used to bake as a kid but my mom was always shutting down everything i was doing, and if i was asking for help or recieps she would just tell le "it's a secret just watch " and never letting me know tf she was doing so i stopped lmao. everytime ive tried meals since it was only for myself and with a hard mocking from family and mom saying she had a better recieps and i should just let her do so i dont even try it often. (moreeven now that the kitchen is opened to the living room and they're super judgemental when im in it)

i was messing with drawings and paints in her workshop when i was a kid but she would always point out flaws and take my tools to correct it without telling nor showing me how and it killed it, it took me until my 14yo to start doing mindless doodles and then my breakdown when i was about 20 to seriously try back to draw and do art and try different tools (until my right hand made it impossible for me to hold a tool and the failure still feels yknow)

i wanted to sew things and make clothes (at the time for my dolls) but my mom was never letting me touch the tools (that we HAD since not only she made clothes but her mom actually had a fabrique shop. like. right next door. i think it became part of my mom's trauma hating her mom and refusing us to connect with her, more so with what happened when i was 7 and we lost contact with them but still, the damn irony. and i cant remember if my grandma ever let me close her sewing material but i was a damn kid after all) so this is another thing i didnt pursue

i wanted to pick up music (piano mostly) bc my uncle is a musician but my parents never wanted to invest in that because they already gave a piano to my sister (that i wasnt allowed to use) so ye that was dropped lmao

and i started to write when i was about 11 and it was that /one thing/ i didnt need help for from anyone, completely self taught, with my own ways and tools, and my parents were always dismissive of it, never listening to me, always telling me it wasnt important, that i should focus on something else, and after other circumstances that added to that i dropped writting around my 17/18yo and it had been painful to even try to write again since.(i came back to writing around my 20yo a bit before my breakdown but after it happened it started to die out and i felt exhausted and stopped after a few months and since then i've never been able to pick up writing again ay.)

(and im not touching the obsessive elements bc like- the fact she does it for her crush makes it different, but the sort of things she does? taking pictures and putting them everywhere in her room when she hyperfixates, making overcomplicated schedules and such? i litteraly do that with fiction. i made a freaking timeline for this show. i am currently working on organizing codex from d.a and an approval guide for christ sake. and im not talking about my multiple fandom shrines in my room and the fact i legit have one for m/lb made from pictures found on merchs.

or also the fact i have a lot of passions i'd love to share and seeing M. play video games with her dad for exemple makes me so bitter when all i get is backhanded insults from my parents when i bring it up.)

So sometimes i see M. and part of me is just in awe, loving everything about her. the other part of me tho... i feel... a bit robbed? like she's such a creative kid, she's incredible and she inspires me everyday, and i cant help but think how i would have adored her when i was a kid. (im not even kidding, as a kid i requested my mom a costume of black cat for h.alloween and a l.adybug costume for the carnaval. i have pictures of that at my dad's place sadly it kills me. also my room when i was a kid used to be covered with l.adybug stickers like. HELL my mom doesnt care about my interests but last year she bought me a M/LB winter callendar (bc its been years i was mentioning i wanted one, a selfish whim but oh well) and i had a huge double take bc i was certain she didnt remember me talking about this show- and she did not. when i asked her why, she legit told me "because she reminded me of you as a kid with your pigtails your obsession for l.adybugs". like!! i cant even stress how kid!me would have adored this show and especially LB./M.) (the pigtails too this time i have proofs around there i used to carry them all the time until i was bullied for it at school. (bullying at school instead of good friends also adds to the difference in question tbh lmao))

there is something so... weird into seeing the parts of yourself that you cut yourself from in a character, and see that the main difference is because of how the family (and bullies) treated those elements so drastically differently.

my family was always neglectful but differently than A.. the things i relate to with him is how he specifically still holds on hope that his father will do better at least just for one day and his reaction when he's left down saying he's just used to it. and like normal, not every kind of abuse are the same and all but i still relate enough to feel sad.

but M. is always a whiplash of feelings like i could have been this sort of girl in a better environment.

at 13/14yo she was already making stuff up, baking, designing clothes, doing art, she was doing so many things, even forgetting the superhero part. she was being happy being a creator at her pace and with encouragement. at 13/14yo i was starting to show concerning signs of d.epression because i was trying to handle my parents's divorces and the multiple trials that followed that /i/ had to handle by finding middle grounds, allowing some of my father's blackmail to avoid worse, and by litterally having to collect infos from mails everytime to prove against some of his arguments to the judges. and my sister refusing to talk to us for a year, which caused us basically to feel very bad thinking of the eldest sister who ran away from home, and having to handle my father's harrasment and emotional abuse of constantly belittling me (fuck this was the age he legit told me i would probably end up a p.rostitute so ye!!! fuck that!!!) andd the fact my mom was also falling apart from all of it on me and i was always supposed to cheer her up while i was having a hard time in a new school and new environment away from the very few friends i had and again feeling abandonned by my sister which freaking sucks after already had suffered that from our eldest one.

but M. makes me cry every. goddam. rewatch. its like maybe the ultimate wish fufilling story of just how i would have loved my family to be. of how i think i could have turned up.

and that realization hits so badly everytime.

there's a thing with my hyperfixations where i'll always find a way to tie it back to my traumas. i dont know if im pulling straws, or if the things are there. for having watched m.lb when it came out unfazed and only got hit with that realization upon rewatching- i feel it was more me realizing "there is something there that is touching me more than before" and having an introspection to get it.

and i think the difference is that- before my breakdown the characters and stories i related to where the eternal optimistic-yet-damaged "never give up!" type of characters. When things started to go downhill to my breakdown and since then the fictions that talked to me the most were all dealing with guilt coming from toxic environment that werent your fault per se but you pierceved that way. my way to relate were to characters who felt deeply connected to their guilt (peak being c.loud of f.f7 that even topped it with the deadly skin disease making him lose will to live (because ye that happened. still hate to watch out for that so ye), and memories issues, you would have told me at 13yo when i first watched that movie that this would be what i would relate to him about 7 years later i would have laughed at your face.), which translated with pushing people away and self destructing habits.

and i know i watched m.lb the first time around that time, when i was 20/21. and that may be why i didnt feel that. that my concerns were too elsewhere to realize that. That i was too focalized on how i felt like i failed by suddenly breaking under the pressure, having all the things i've kept burried kicking me out at once, and that i couldnt afford to be a burden to anyone. and it translated with me loving characters like that because in most cases their friends ended up reminding them of what was important - and sometimes just getting frustrated about your fav being as dumb as it forces you to pull yourself back together lmao. not always working but it was there.

now im 23. i cut ties with my father for about 3/4 years now, with all the shitty things that ensued out of the last trial where he sued me and his still-happening harrasment (sometimes silly sometimes scary). My mom and step dad are suffocating me more and more everyday. my health had become so disastrous i cant even manage to go school or find a job. And more than ever im frustrated and angry.

and i think it may be a shown of recovery? perhaps linked to therapy? of while i still have guilt of falling apart- /they/ are the reason i fell apart. and I'm yet to have proper apologizes for it. i grew furious at my family. of how much i feel robbed.

lately im so angry at everything i lost, was taken of, stolen childhood all of that- because of my parents, mainly. (hell even the bullying at school - in primary school it apparently started bc of gossips about why my eldest sister ran away from home, and in middle school it was first bc my parents insisted on sending me to private school where i was an outcast. which then had me truly embrassing the outcast persona that had made it impossible for me to be at peace in the two others middle schools i went to. highschool saved my social life tbh).

i think it's therapy and recovery that is making me shift the blame and feel so angry at them. so bitter. and suddenly i see in an innocent kid show a "what could have been". same starting personality, different people to channel this.

and this is. frustrating.

but it makes me love it even more. idk if its driving anything else than ressentment but at least for the time of an episode I'm in a bubble of a.lternative universe where i can forget about my life and feel satisfied at once.

like finding a piece of myself that i deliberately broke and burried to never think about it again, and realize far later how it missed to the whole, and how damaged this piece is now, but still is.

and there is something incredibly healing about that. i would never have thought there would be this much healing out of this anger and yet satisfaction. what a strange feeling.

fiction is funny that way. the things people can get out of it to deal with their own psyche are so different one person to the next.

it's just so weird for me to go from "i relate to the horrors this character went through" to "and fuck those horrors. let me think about what could have been if this didnt happen."

even moreso knowing i had this piece of fiction before and didnt approach it that way. there's a time and a mindset for everything. apparently now was the best mindset for me huh

.......

so ye apparently i cant like something like a normal person and have to go on about how it connects to my deeply rooted traumas lmao.

anyway it's been eating me up for weeks now and it's 4:45am i have absolutly no impulse holding me back. if you sat through this piece of work im sorry. just needed it to get it out of my chest.

i'll go back to hugging my cheap-yet-lifesaving c.laire's l.adybug pillow now

good night o/

#ichapersonal

[ocean-butch]

How is cas different from ur other girlfriends

akcjwjxia i had to wait like SIX HOURS to answer this bc of a goddamn test i had bUT OH BOY ANON AM I GONNA LOVE DOING IT alfjadjsk i just love talking about my gf i love her so much i wanna gush about her 25/8

the short answer would be basically in every way bUt imma do it part by part.

okay so, in a simplified version i’ve had relationships with people whose personalities worked well with me but who were shitty girlfriends or a good girlfriend who just didnt really fit with my personality. i’ve actually given that so much thought even before i met cass, but the point is that i met her and she was just perfect for me in both ways (technically its more complicated bc theres a bunch of logic into this that im not explaining bc my mind is weird and it would be Way too long but anyways). but ok let get into How she fits me perfectly.

first of all literally no one ever in my entire life has made me laugh as easily and genuinely as she does. im not even exaggerating, like laughing was never really A Thing for me to look for in girls bc it just never happened???? like i had fun conversations and stuff but there was never anyone that made me go “holy shit i have never laughed this much with anyone else” and we have So many inside jokes, which is a thing that i almost never have????? and i always used to wish i did bc everyone would talk about it and i’d feel like i just wasnt funny and That was the problem. and also this is really important bc its one of the things that made me realize that i liked (and eventually, came to love) her. bUT its not the only one so theres also like all these things that we like and we can talk about for HOURS like i remember when i watched infinity war and the first thing i did when i got home was call her and we talked about it for like 2 hours idek but it was great. the point is, we have a bunch of shared interests (which isnt like 100% necessary but its still really nice), wHICH LEADS ME TO: her music taste is amazing and i love that so much bc i love music With My Entire Soul and its the best thing in the fucking world (after cass & my friends and tied with the ocean) but yeah thats great too. AND i think more importantly than the last 2 things is that she is literally so fucking easy to talk to. like ever since the beginning we didnt really have that awkward phase where we run out of things to talk about and the conversation keeps dying like we never had that it just flowed so well and that was such a good feeling. another thing is also how comfortable i feel talking to her.

like i have never felt this way with any of my girlfriends bc i was always scared that i was gonna be annoying or say something Wrong and they’d start to realize i sucked and then break up with me, but shes just so kind and idk she just has this way about her that makes me feel at home and its always been there like i dont believe in love at first sight or anything like that but i swear to god the day after i met her i already felt like i could tell her anything and that was such a comforting thing and i needed that so badly at the time. i dont feel like i was able to describe this aspect very well tbh like im not doing it justice. like, she makes me feel like im not annoying at all, and like i could just randomly start ranting about anything and she would be like super invested in it, and just literally so comfortable in every sense of the word. she is my home, no ifs ands or buts, i just feel it every single time that we talk or that i simply think about her, and i have never felt this so clearly with anyone. and i think this comfort i feel with her is kinda connected with how she has always made me felt so appreciated, in a way that no one has ever done. like, i had like 2 tags about my wants and needs in a relationship, there was “my dream girl” to remind me that i shouldnt settle for anyone after i got out of a rlly bad relationship, and there was “things i wish someone would tell me” after my “first” relationship (i dont really count it bc Officially™ we only dated for a week) because my gf at the time would almost never be affectionate with me and it made me really insecure so i started that tag as a way to vent kinda. anyways my point is that i made those tags bc i would always feel super anxious in my relationships bc i never really felt loved or even wanted (aka the good personalities awful gfs relationships) i just felt like a burden and it was such a big thing for me.

okay now i’ll say that there Kinda was an exception to this before cass, because it would be unfair to say that that relationship was detrimental to my mental health, but it was still different. like, that ex did make me feel wanted most times, but not only did i still have A Lot of insecurities about the whole thing bc of some things she would say and do or not say and not do and i’d get like super uncomfortable or just sad really but also bc whenever the conversation would start to die out i was Absolutely Certain that she was gonna break up with me. it was pretty bad im not even joking. and like ofc my anxiety isnt her fault OR responsibility and like sure i still get anxious about cass sometimes but its not like that its basically just when she doesnt answer for a long time i think that something bad might have happened but even when my rude ass brain does try to tell me that she doesnt love me i KNOW that its not true, and that is a kind of peace that i have never ever had before. but anyways, so that was the good gf whose personality didnt fit mine and its weird now bc that is so obvious but i really didnt wanna believe it at the time even though i knew it wasnt gonna work out, but now its just really weird ngl (but i wont get into the why).

and now cass. wow okay let me tell you about cass. she is perfection. she is literally everything i have ever wanted AND things i didnt even know i wanted. she is everything no one else ever was and i just remembered that when we started dating in may i said that exact same sentence to abby. its just so true, she really is everything that no one else could be. because theyre not her. i’ve said this a lot of times but i really dont see how i could ever love anyone else after loving her, it just doesnt make sense to me because she really is like,, as good as it gets. there is no one better than her for me. we’re literally meant to be i s2g like when we broke up for a while i would tell everyone i wasnt really trying to move on at all bc i just hoped she would come back to me and i couldnt miss that chance. i knew she was my soulmate, although at some points i lost almost all hope (but never all) and i started thinking that maybe she was the love of my life but i wasnt the love of hers. and thats bc she really is everything ive ever dreamed of like she has all these little things that she does or say that sometimes wouldnt even mean anything to other people but to me they are So important bc theyre things ive dreamed about while my ex girlfriends ignored me akcjsjxn like, i was talking about how comfortable she feels to me and a big part of that comes from little things like the fact that even when we were just friends she would spam me when i was gone for a long time and that not only made me feel missed and appreciated but also it meant i could do that to her and it wouldnt be annoying bc she felt the same!! like, she missed me too! and me knowing that she actually Wanted to talk to me and the fact that she actually showed me she cared was super great when we started dating bc it made me feel like if i was feeling sad or insecure, i could literally just ask her to be a little more affectionate and it wouldnt feel fake bc i actually knew she cared. and you have No idea how much that meant to me bc i literally didnt know it was possible for me to feel that way. like honestly i thought it was an innate aspect of who i am that like if i asked for affection it would be meaningless? bc i’d be lowkey forcing the person to say something? but with her it felt different bc we had enough intimacy for me to feel comfortable enough to do that.

HOWEVER i never actually Had to do that bc i got insecure exactly once (1) on the first night we started dating back in may bc i didnt know how much she liked me and i was like in love with her so i thought she would think i was too much and then i told her i was sad and that i was gonna sleep and the next day when i woke up she said something along the lines of “how are you babe bc i remember you said you were sad last night and i couldnt stop thinking about it bc i want you to feel good all the time” and thats something so small but wow it just meant so much to me bc i would cry and beg any fucking force in the universe to make my last ex do Anything At All to try to make me Not Sad and it would be awful and i would feel so so unloved and then cass just said that and something clicked in me and i never doubted her feelings to an actual Meaningful extent while we’ve been together anymore (like ofc i get insecure sometimes and especially when we broke up, but while we have been dating ive never gotten like actually Sad™ specifically bc i wasnt sure she liked me) but it gets even better because some of the things she does are so so special that i never even imagined them like shes literally unreal, i literally never thought someone like her existed and its just so wild to me that i get to be with her.

and i know im saying a bunch of cliches but i mean it all so much like i remember when i was dating one of my exes i was learning her first language but she didnt try to learn mine and i really wished she would bc i just always loved the idea that someone would do that for me?? (and she was like the good gf so yknow,, just how that relationship literally did Not even compare to cass) and guess what yes cass is learning portuguese and its the cutest thing ever btw bUt the point is she does all the little things ive ever wanted in a partner (i literally have a post with a list of things i appreciate in a partner and she does all of them!! well, the ones that arent like irl or smth) also i literally have a draft in this blog that is a list of cute things cass has done/said that means a lot to me personally but i didnt post it yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and like theres just so so many things that i havent talked about, like how im not even sure if i was ever in love with anyone of them anymore because what i feel for cass is just so different and so much more, or like how cass actually makes me want to try to get better, which ive never actually wanted before bc it always seemed to scary, like she literally makes me wanna be not only alive but also happy bc she makes me feel like i deserve it. she has been such a good influence on me and my mental health and thats so important and its the first time someone has been this good for me.

but anyways the point is that cass is right for me in every single way like she really is my other half she literally just is everything that she is and thats how shes different from my ex girlfriends.

#according to my girlfriend i spent over 2 hours writing this #AltHouGh #she DID distract me a few times bc she was being cute #and i love her #wow i love her #i know anon is definitely not gonna read this but my girl will alhajska #mine #answered #anon #luna

[alluratron]

How much of my s5 wishlist did i get?

This is just my wishlist as I posted it before with stuff I got bolded. sub points are current discussion

AKA a list of things I’d like to see and theories I want confirmed in the upcoming season(s).

more info on operation kuron. i’d like more hints at what kuron is or even full on confirmation that s3/s4 shiro is a clone.

i mean really we weren't not gonna get anything on this but i'm so fucking happy that we've been validated that kuron is different than shiro and even the characters notice it

a genuine moment between allura and lotor. they’ve both lost their home planets, after all. lotor twice over.

tbf we don't know how genuine lotor was being but even if his intentions are not, the dialogue seemed very much so at times, especially the stuff about honerva and that planet zarkon put him in charge of so i'll take it

lotor’s backstory. when tf was he born??? he knows honerva was his mother, but doesn’t seem to connect her with haggar. hell, haggar didn’t even know about honerva. so, was lotor born before the war? is he 10,000 years old? why does he look so young? was he frozen somehow? why are his eyes blue???? what is up with this guy????

ZOMBIE BABY HAHAHAHAHA. also he's centuries old and he's still alive bc the rift made him immortal(?) like haggar i guess. and he's like....an artificial sacred altean like haggar??

lotor double crosses team voltron. i don’t want him to be an anti-hero. i want him to be undeniably a villain, even if he does have genuine aspects to him. less zuko, more azula (in that we understand that azula is a product of her upbringing, but still evil nonetheless).

not yet but i still strongly believe this will come

allura’s magic. i always want more of allura’s magic. i want to learn more about sacred alteans and why allura is seemingly more powerful than what’s normal even for sacred alteans.

i mean, it was more acquired alchemy than inherent magic but there was still some inherent magic so im not complaining too much. shes still special so :')

the white lion theory. in s4 ep3, acxa says that the two sincline (i see what they did there) ships used 60% of the comet and there’s more than enough left to make the third ship. this extra comet material is definitely going to come into play somehow. it’s likely going to become the head of the sincline ships but i’d love if it became the white lion and allura piloted it. not that i think allura has to be a paladin to be valuable, but she seems to want to be one (and i just want my bb to be happy so yknow).

i mean we got a white lion, just not in the way i anticipated lol. i'm still holding out hope for a robot white lion from the extra comet material tho

keith’s heritage to be revealed. how galra is he? who is his mother?? can we meet her??? we know she was a blade but i want to know how she ended up on earth. it’d make sense if she was half galra half altean/polluxian.

ok so his heritage wasnt revealed per se but WE MET HIS MOM!!!! krolia literally looks like purple keith lmao. i expect that we'll hear the story of how she met his dad next season. also she looks mixed race. here's a post i made on why i believe she's half polluxian

yeah okay so i really think keith is part altean/polluxian. i need an explanation as to why he looks so damn human and that one fits for me.

i also really need to know why the hell keith could sense the blue lion. it’s been 39 episodes give me some answers @lauren @jds @entire vld crew.

the “for narti” squad to join team voltron. i know it’s unlikely because of lotor allying with the team, (and the trailer showing them with zarkon) but i really do think those girls deserve a chance at redemption. they’re such interesting characters and i’d love to see them interact with the team.

i also really need to know what the connection between keith and acxa is. we really haven’t seen any payoff for them meeting in the weblum or him recognising her in s3 ep6. she took a bag of scaultrite which could’ve been hinting that they have an altean (aka lotor) but they just as easily could’ve dropped that hint by how they tried to steal a piece of the teludav. acxa’s connection to keith seems to be something else at play. my hope is twins, or at least siblings.

more hints that there's something there but nothing confirmed yet. but (as explained in my polluxian krolia post linked above) acxa and krolia have the exact same eyes with the light-coloured pupils so i'm almost certain acxa and keith are siblings

narti comes back tbh. i don’t know how that would happen but i miss her and i want her back.

team voltron returns to the original lineup. i like matching colours, what can i say.

ok i massively downplayed that but seriously the bond between paladin and lion was so hyped up in s1 and s2 that the lion shuffle will never quite sit right with me. blue chose lance out of all available paladins. she didn’t go back to the castle on her own and take allura. she chose lance. that’s gotta mean something. and red has gone after keith too many times for their relationship to be over now. 4 times in one season. he loves his tiny fleshy son pls reunite them.

hunk’s family. i want to know about them. i want him to mention them at the very least. i know tyler said hunk’s mom taught him how to cook so please let him say this in canon. also acknowledge him being samoan in canon please and thanks.

he mentioned his mom at least. 

lance’s “i’m just a boy from cuba” line. i thought it’d be in s3 but nope. i don’t mind waiting for his arc because i appreciate that it’s a long one, but i’m really curious as to the context of that line. also i want to know all the people in the picture from s1 ep2.

we got some names! marco, luis and veronica aww. obvs thats not everyone but i've got my guesses as to who's who. marco and luis are green t-shirt and blue shirt, veronica is white dress, mom is orange dress, grandma is pink cardigan, and the rest are his dad, grandpa, aunt, green t-shirt's wife and their two kids (aka lance's niece and nephew)

allura and coran talking about what altea was like before the war. just some cultural background.

coran’s family, if he had one. i want to know more about this man and what he lost when altea was destroyed.

more alteans in THIS reality because there’s no way this race of diplomats were all on the planet when it was destroyed. i don’t buy that, soz.

polluxians! i really want the alteans with two sets of markings in s3 ep7 to be polluxians. mainly because i want romelle to be introduced. apparently she’s badass. more badass girls is always a yes from me.

zaggar dynamic. does zarkon know that haggar was honerva? seems so, considering how he indulges her far more than he does anyone else. does he know that she knows now?

friendship. i know that sounds really lame lmao but i really do want friendship. i want the team to hangout. i want to see pairs or trios hanging out. i want casual team banter. i want wacky shenanigans. blease.,,,,.,. @dreamworks,.,.,,. just let these dorks be friends.

garrison trio......coming through.,.,,.,in clutch. they really just saved my life like that huh.i can't believe im so blessed

lance not being possessive of allura….ever again. please stop it’s uncomf. if they’re going down the romance route for them, cool. but do it by showing allura somewhat reciprocating lance’s interest. please don’t encourage the “guy hounds the girl until she agrees” trope. it’s harassment. lance has backed off from flirting and that’s great but if there’s gonna be a romance there, maybe have allura flirt instead.

it's debatable but i'm gonna give the benefit of the doubt and say he wasn't possessive of her so much as he was worried for her safety with trick ass bitch lotor hanging around

if there isn’t a romance there, just give me them being good friends blease. their relationship has been so good and mutually supportive so please continue with that. facemask buddies would be a blessing. i’d actually cry.

that scene in the training room is actually so blessed. i love life. i love them. i love.

more of that good co-leadership shallura content. keep allura in charge 2kforever. also let them confide in each other. it’s tough being a leader. also also, let them be soft please i beg. throw it back to the softness in s2 ep5. that level of softness is what i crave.

it's not co-leadership shallura bc its not shiro but! they're definitely both in leadership positions so im loving it. allura was very much in charge and i'm so happy

the team convincing keith that they’ll always love him and he doesn’t have to push them away because they’ll never leave him. help this boy overcome his fear of rejection please.

keith comforting lance in a way that actually, uh, works. i appreciate his effort in s3 ep6 but he’s gotta do better than that for them to have a balanced friendship.

lotor’s plan. i really need to know exactly what this boy is up to?? he wants to reap an “untold amount more” quintessence to do what? it’s surely not for the empire’s benefit - he doesn’t care about them. so why? is it something to do with his mother? also, why couldn’t his ships cross into the other reality? they’re made of the same thing as voltron?

#i got 11 things i wanted!!!!!!!!! #and there's at least 7 more that i think will come next few seasons #so i'm feeling good!! #really enjoyed s5 actually #my favourite since s1 #vlds5 #vld #vld analysis #vld wishlist #vld meta

[1800-seungshine]

birthday tears.

member: park woojin genre(s): fluff, romance, best friend!woojin summary: another year means another birthday to go all out and this time you were certain that you were going to make woojin cry but somehow, you find the tables have turned because after the long wait of seeing each other, you missed him. a lot more than you imagined. (requested - bullet point format) word count: 2.2k note: dedicated to life ruiner, cute snaggletooth baby park woojin ;; wheezes it’s his birthday today and so what better way to celebrate than to write!! goodness gracious i swear scintilla’s becoming woojin-centric, step aside ong someone’s taking over this damn lane jk jk. oh oh and thank you woojin anon for requesting < 33 it means so much

p.s. y’ALL IM SHOOK I DIDN’T EXPECT GETTING GOING OVER 100 NOTES FOR ‘IN LOCKED WITH YOU’ LIKE WHATDA- THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REBLOGS, LIKES AND FOLLOWS ;;; < 33 

you’ve been best friends with woojin for a long time 

no one knows him better than you 

bc you both had each other for practically all your life

were you and woojin the definition of bff goals?? hek yeah 

you’ve always been his number one supporter 

from his decision to being an idol 

to going with him during superstarK auditions 

to encouraging him when he was a jyp trainee and even when he transferred to bnm 

to never missing an episode of produce 101 and always voting for him

all the way till he joined wanna one 

you’re always there for him and you always will be 

and vice-versa

you’ve both leaned on each other through all the hard times

laughed during the good times

and everything in between 

back then as kids and before he decided to pursue the career of being an idol, it was you who depended on him

he was always the first person you ran to 

he was the one who you cried to 

he was your go-to when you were feeling down 

he was first when it came to everything and anything 

even love 

you didn’t expect falling for park woojin - the guy you knew all your life, the one who you grew up with, the person you considered a close friend, so close that you believed he was like family 

but circumstances changed, feelings grew and your perspective broaden

to the point where you had no choice but to accept that you were falling for your best friend

yet you didn’t want to selfishly hold him back when you knew how much he wanted to pursue his dream 

so woojin was your first love 

the first love you never confided to

and the first love you had let go 

whilst you both matured as you grew up, you eventually pushed your feelings aside as the tables began to turn

bc unlike before, woojin depended on you 

you were the one he first calls 

you were the person he leaned on

you were his go-to when things got too hard and the hardships of trying to reach his dream became overwhelming 

wowowow this sounds so sad and sappy okay gonna light up the mood from now on i promise 

but forget christmas, forget new years day, forget your own birthday 

november second is your favourite day 

why?? bc that was the day the lord decided to give you the best of friend you could ever ask for 

every year you two would go super extra to celebrate one another’s birthday 

like last year on your birthday, you came home with everything decorated and there was this huge teddy bear sitting on the corner of the living room

you knew it was from woojin bc duh who else would it be from 

but what you didnt know was that he was hiding inside the teddy bear 

and honestly you wouldn’t have suspected a single thing 

if the damn stuff toy didn’t begin to move 

you legit screamed and grabbed your baseball bat in case some weird ass munted hoe bursted through 

but jokes on you it was just woojin screaming “hAPPY BIRTHDAY!!” whilst popping streamers and throwing confetti 

his goal was to surprise you 

and he did it so damn well you began crying 

not tears of joy

just tears bc wth man why would you do that? 

but dont chu worry boo his ass got kicked 

his ass was further forgiven after he took you to the amusement park and treated you food 

so with that in mind, you had the goal of making him shed a tear as revenge 

doesn’t matter what kind of tear it is as long as that tear duct come into use 

dang you were so excited to go all out 

that you prepared everything one month prior his birthday

so with the help of the wanna one boys in sneaking woojin out

woojin ends up in this dance studio that you hired for the day 

everything was dimly lit by these candles placed all over the room 

and there’s this vcr that plays the slideshow you created with all your photos together since you were babies all the way till now 

you also added photos that brought back his dark past to get him embarrassed 

anndd then a video pops up of you with a breath-taking smile on your face, excitedly holding this ‘happy birthday’ banner

“about 18 years ago on this very day, some weird kid popped out into the world. can you guess who? that’s right! it’s you.” the video begins, showing you chuckling a little

“i swear i wasn’t planning to make this sappy but i’m going to anyway; i just want to thank you for putting up with my ass all these years - never have i faced a time where you weren’t there for me and i’m really really thankful to have you by my side. i know that you’re really busy and we haven’t seen each other but you can always run to me, you can always call me and i promise that i’ll try my hardest to be there for you, every step of the way like we always have and hopefully, like we always will. happy birthday idiot and take care of yourself.” 

woojin starts feeling touched, remembering all the good times you two have 

you two weren’t the type to verbalise things and instead expressed it through actions 

yet hearing your words makes him even more grateful for all the times that you’ve been there 

because even if you weren’t feeling the greatest, you pushed it aside in order to listen to his problems and help him 

no matter what time of day it was, you always picked up his call

remembering all this reminds him that he couldn’t ask for anything more 

because you were in his life 

and you always will be 

“happy birthday to you....happy birthday to you...” 

a chorus of voices interrupt his thoughts and he spins around to see you and the rest of the wanna one members entering through the door with a cake in jisung’s hands

tears well up in his eyes as all the emotions overwhelm him 

yet once his eyes meet yours, the world freezes almost as if time was slowing down

it’s been a long while since you saw him face to face

and he realises in that very moment how much he really missed you

bc despite all his offers of hanging out, you were cautious and worried that you’d cause trouble to his skyrocketing career

and you’d decline it even if you knew it was tempting and you knew he was disappointed every time you said no

there’s a slight hint of tiredness on his face but it doesn’t change the fact that seeing you made him brighter 

meanwhile you were unable to breathe; he grew more handsome than he already was before and that snaggletoothed smile, you grew up seeing and loving, adorned on his face melted your heart once more

now that you’ve met face to face after a time that felt like eternity

you couldn’t help but to run to him 

and he welcomed you with open arms as you snaked your arms around his waist 

who cares if the wanna one members will use this later on to tease him

having you right in front of me makes him forget about everything else

and like a child, you begin to cry as you’re engulfed in his embrace

“yah, are you crying...?” woojin teasingly asks you as his hand reaches up to your head, stroking your hair gently while your bury your head in his chest 

“s-shut up, meanie. i’m not crying!” you pull away before you look at him for a few seconds before bursting into tears once again

“ahhh this idiot, you’re such a crybaby.” he replies, wiping your tears with his sleeves. “and how am i mean? i’m offended.”

“i’ve seen you go through all the hard times, i’ve seen you cry because you wanted to give up and i’ve seen you push yourself over the limit for this dream and you’re telling me off for being a crybaby?” you say between sniffles before you try your hardest to manage a glare at his way

“and yes, you’re mean - you’re so mean for making my heart melt, you’re so mean for giving me butterflies in my stomach, you’re so mean for holding my hand and hugging me all the time without knowing how i feel, you’re so mean because no matter how much i try to hide my feelings, they continue to grow and it’s all your fault, park woojin.” 

you suddenly quiet down as you realise what you’ve been rambling. “oh my god, my mouth went a bit too far.” you mutter as you harshly wipe your tears away 

there’s silence between you two yet the rest of the wanna one members begin to snicker lightly to themselves

“this isn’t funny!” you whine before trying not to cry again bc you just exposed your own whipped ass 

you avoid woojin’s gaze by hiding behind jisung who subsequently came in the middle of you two, still holding the cake 

“so woojin! do you wanna blow the candles now before it ends up completely melting? but you have to make a wish first!” 

woojin clears his throat, taking his eyes away from you “a-ah yes hyung,” he says before closing his eyes for a few seconds and opening them again to blow the candles 

the rest of the guys, to lighten the slight tension in the atmosphere begin to clap and cheer, “happy birthday woojin!!” 

but yknow it aint complete yet until someone gets teased 

hence enter ong seongwoo’s ass (i love putting seongwoo everywhere, anywhere as you can tell by now)

“sO WOOJIN, WHAT DID YA WISH FOR BUDDY? ;)” 

“yeah what did you wish for?” jisung grins cheekily at the younger guy 

woojin’s ears start to go red, looking around before his gaze naturally land on you, “i just wished for something very very important.” 

“OK YEH WHICH IS??”  WINK WINK HONK HONK 

“for y/n to always be by my side.” woojin shyly mumbles 

sungwoon then joins in on the fun with a wide grin on his face, bringing his ear close to woojin, “sorry, what? can you speak up a little louder? we couldn’t hear.” 

“yeah i’m a little deaf, hyung.” guanlin adds before a number of agreements and remarks gets thrown around the room causing noise 

woojin simply sighs before yelling, “I SAID I WISHED FOR Y/N TO ALWAYS BE BY SIDE.” 

much cringe. v cheese. im writing this and i cant even handle wowow

there’s just silence in the room before the wanna one members all grin happily at one another. 

“oH wOw lOoK aT tHe TiMe - okay kids, time to go! we’ll see you later woojin byeeee.” minhyun calls out as he exits the door with the rest following beside him, not forgetting to snicker and tease

and then there was two 

you and woojin

“so,,, what do you say?” he initiates, feeling a little nervous than usual bc good lord he’s liked you all this time since you two were little and every year he’d wish for that you’d like him back 

you simply continue looking down, still avoiding his gaze; “you’re not kidding right...?” 

“does it sound like i am?” 

“no.” 

“so....? i like you, you like me. the feelings’ mutual.” 

“but what about-”

“don’t think about the but’s nor the if’s because i don’t care about those. i’ve liked you for as long as i’ve known you and honestly, i can risk everything and anything so long as you’re here. there’s no park woojin without y/n. i’m basically nothing without you.” 

you look up as you send him a judging look, “did you just promote your upcoming comeback whilst confessing...?” 

“that totally wasn’t intentional but what do you say?” woojin says to you grinning rather happily as his arms are wide open for you. 

and having a soft spot for him, you eventually let out a sigh, “well if you put it that way...i don’t seem to have a choice, do i?” you say before going into his arms once more. 

“this has got to be my best birthday present ever.” woojin sighs in content

“don’t think i’m still not done yet from my rant- do you know how much i wanted to vote for other trainees? yah, park woojin i voted for you every single performance - i wanted to vote for jihoon but because i liked you so much and you’re my best friend, i kept being loyal but here you were teasing me and calling me a crybaby. i’m not even kidding, oh my god- the amount of suffering i went through because of you; you should be glad i like you.”

“yes yes, i’m sorry. i won’t tease you again, crybaby.” 

“it hasn’t even been a minute and you’re seriously tempting me to leave you for jihoon.” 

“ah i was just kidding, y/n. don’t break up with me for my other pink sausage duo-” 

“nOPE BYE WHERE’S THE DIVORCE PAPERS.” 

“AWE COME ON I WAS KIDDING.”

#park woojin #woojin #woojin scenarios #woojin imagines #wanna one #wanna one imagines #wanna one scenarios #produce 101 #pd101 season 2 #another rushed scenario just so i dont miss woojin's bday #lmao lowkey already passed in sydney tho #happy woojin day #this blog isn't becoming woojin-centric i promise

[fatinsharbini]

THE YOUNGEST ONE

What’s so great at being the youngest one in your family? People always said that being the baby of your family is synonym with being spoiled. Yes, I am the youngest child and No, I am not spoiled. Ykw? Some days it’s tough being the youngest child in your family. I’m not sure about other youngest childs out there, how they see him/herself or how they act as the youngest child. But, the worst part of being the youngest sibling is that you can’t express your anger towards anyone in your family. And I have a short temper sometimes. I scolded the elders when I shouldn’t. Seriously it makes me feel like I’m a bad child.

Being the youngest one means you need to respect the elders. But, my temper is so annoying that I’ll flip out on them and then a second later I’ll immediately regret it to the deepest root in my heart and I would feel like shit for the rest of the day. And another second later I started to have a tendency to crying myself out of situations because I do feel bad. Soooo so bad. But, most of the time they put the blames on me even for the simplest things like carelessly didn’t switch off the fans or leave my drinks on the table until the cup covered by ants. I didn’t do it. I’m not that kind of person. I’m the most alert person in the house after my mom yknow 😞. Most of the time I was blamed for things I didn’t do just bcs the youngest ones always at fault. I don’t know why but I find it funny. That’s not the reason why I lose my temper because I find it funny HAHA but at the same time I feel hurt because why is it always me to be blame like.....everytime? HAHA.

Being the youngest one for me is to accept the responsibility for myself. I need to know my responsibilities in making ppl surrounds me feel comfortable and making sure that I will not do anything that will make them worried (I’ve tried my best). I’ve seen a lot of last born are messy. Hmm I mean, they have the tendency to follow the elders’ attitude or the way they acted. I know I need to learn well to pick the right things and left the wrong things at the first place. And, I cannot blame others if something happen (but sometimes my gut instinct prevent me from doing so because yknow, sometimes I do feel that I need to win the war and everything I said is right. HAHAHA).

Among the basic responsibilities as being the youngest among your older siblings is to follow their orders as what most Sarawakians said ‘kenak ulun’ HAHAHA. I feel so much grateful for being the youngest sibling at this part because just imagine, if I have a younger brother or sister, I will surely be the one that makes the rules. See? Being positive at the right thing can save you a lot of arguments. Seriously I am not complaining. I don’t know why but if my siblings ordering me to do this and that, I will automatically make it with less complaints (except if I am not in the good mood or if I know they can make it done at their end easier than ordering me to do it). But yknow, it’s the basic thing you’ll see in most family and it’s not even weird at all. That’s what siblings are for. Yes hehe.

I secretly believe that my parents love me the most (back then). HAHA. But by the time I get older and wiser, I realized that we are getting equal amounts of attention from our parents. It’s normal if sometimes you feel that you get unequal attention or less attention among your siblings. Same goes to me. There are days I feel like shit among them when I was scolded because of what I did not do like not cleaning the kitchen after cooking (I did it every time but yknow, I do my cleaning but sometimes I forgot some parts of the kitchen) or accidentally leave small piece of rubbish in front of my door (this happens because the wind blow it). I get yelled and being compared with my siblings (and it’s not even at serious matter I tell you). Those were the best days of my life. Okay close case. Moving on.

There is this one day that I still remember, I was scolded at the simplest thing (again) but don’t know why I feel so emotionally understated. As what I was saying earlier, I will seriously crying myself out of situations (of course not in front of them) or I will get the urge to do cleaning if I find it totally useless for me to cry like what I always did. I still curious on the idea of me suddenly doing a periodic cleaning in times of grief like that (for so many times) tho. Ykw? I did the whole room cleaning last two years just because I feel like I’m not doing my best to get a job after graduating. I feel useless during that time because I couldn’t give anything to my parents. I almost spent all my savings at that time (I also had to change my phone exactly after graduating because the old one is broken...at the right time? *flipping hair*).

Those are some of the hardest yet funny days that I can never forget. Those days has made me a little bit optimistic and believe that He has plans for me only at the right time. I pray to be aware of the gratitude towards what was given to me. I prayed for pleasures level by level. As I have been making plans to take my career and my life to the next level, I suddenly realized that I have one important thing that actually help me to push myself towards the upper level, which is to always see my lowest level. Though that level is just a so-so level for certain ppl, remember that you’re already leveling up one step closer to the highest. Always remind yourself that you should always compare how better your life is now than before.

I still remember when I started working on my first job, the salary is not much to survive and I took one photo of my first salary to be look at whenever I feel hard at working and feel like to quit from my current job. I feel so sad because I don’t always afford to buy food pellets for my Kuraks and believe it or not, I cried in front of my Kuraks kayyy (they’re not even humannnn I tell you) and don’t know how I assume that those Kuraks understand my feelings and they’re also crying at the same time as I did (I saw the tears flow. Or is it because they just swam in the water minutes before?) Ridiculous but I actually did it? You so funny, Fatin!

May 13, 2017 10:27 pm