I want to start reading books what do you recommend?
I don't know what you're looking for specifically so I'll make a big list of advice, just read the parts you care about and have fun :)
•For some advice!•
NEVER be afraid of looking something up. That's how you learn. I spent most of my time learning English by just looking up whatever I didn't get, and now I'm a fluid speaker with a vocabulary big enough to match my ego.
This is personal but god stay off tik tok or "booktok" or whatever I promise your'e not missing out on anything please save yourself PLEASE
•Where to get books?•
Go to your local library and be very very nice and polite to a librarian and ask if they have any book recommendations or ask if they happen to have books about something that interests you and if you find something then get a library card and borrow them and be careful with them and bring them back on time. This has been my library PSA.
•Book recommendations for starting out•
Okay if you're Just getting into reading books at ALL then I'd recommend these book series meant for teenagers to young adults:
Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children
What if circus performances were real? But with time travel and monsters and war.
Artemis Fowl
Do you wanna see a capitalist child exploit the fairy world for money?
Percy Jackson
Okay you probably know this one. Greek mythology is real and it's coming to get you. Probably the funniest narrator I've ever seen. God Percy is so cool I wish he didn't go to hell all the time
Skullduggery Pleasant
Jazz music. Skeletons. Mystery. Throw fireballs at stuff until you figure your life out.
•My personal favourites•
These are mostly pretty easy to read fiction, but uh I'm not gonna recommend Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin to a beginner
Coraline
Charming protagonist, creepy yet intriguing, god i love Neil gaiman
Six of Crows
Heist! Really cool magic system! Teenagers with invariably fucked up backstories! Gang violence but like for good reasons (probably)
The Long Way To A Small, Angry Planet
Basically the opposite of star wars when it comes to world building (it's really good). Cruise through space and have fun reading about the bird people.
This Is How You Lose The Time War
I'm still crying. Time travel war spy love story. Poetic about finding ones humanity again. Made me a bit deranged. Might contain the meaning of life.
And most importantly:
DISC WORLD.
(the fun one.)
This is not longer a recommendation. I am making you read Disc World. They don't have to be read in order, but I suggest starting with Colour Of Magic. Really and truly some of the best books ever written. Fantasy and stretching magic rules until they break and shattering the fourth wall so the characters can pop in for some tea. Why not. We have imagination powered dragons and turtle powered planets. C'mon
the happiest of holidays !! (a list of wintry prompts!)
as requested by a lovely follower, here's a list of prompts set around this time of year! i'll probably add to them as time passes, but i hope you enjoy them, and i hope you all have a peaceful and restful december and a fruitful new year! much love to all! as always, DO NOT ADD TO THIS LIST! bon appetit!
[ SKATE ]: the sender invites the receiver to go ice-skating with them.
[ COOKIES ]: the sender and the receiver spend the night in the kitchen decorating cookies together.
[ LAST-MINUTE ]: the sender and receiver head out together to try and find some gifts for their family and friends.
[ FROZEN ]: sender and receiver wrap up warm and head out into a fresh blanket of snow to make a snowman together.
[ CHOCOLATE ]: the sender and receiver set up a fully decked-out hot chocolate bar and get to work making the perfect hot cocoa.
[ COLD ]: while walking with the receiver, the sender secretly makes a snowball and throws it at them, initiating a full-on snowball fight.
[ TOGETHER ]: the sender attends a highly popular winter party with the receiver.
[ ROAD ]: the sender and receiver end up driving home together for the holidays on a lengthy road trip.
[ LIGHT ]: the sender and/or the receiver light the menorah together.
[ BALL ]: the sender and the receiver attend a highly prestigious winter gala together.
[ STUCK ]: the sender and receiver are snowed in together at the same building, and must spend the evening together until they can find a way out.
[ EXCHANGE ]: the sender meets up with the receiver in order to exchange gifts with one another.
[ ESCAPE ]: as a surprise to the overworked receiver, the sender treats them to a weekend away after renting a winter cabin.
[ KITCHEN ]: the sender and receiver work together to make a huge holiday meal in the kitchen, to varying degrees of success.
[ CRAFTY ]: the sender and receiver spend an evening together designing and creating winter decorations.
[ SPIN ]: the sender and the receiver engage in a game of spinning the dreidel together.
[ CHOICE ]: the sender and receiver embark on a mission: getting the perfect christmas tree.
[ COZY ]: the sender and receiver enjoy a cozy evening in front of a fire, watching a movie together.
[ COVER ]: the sender attends a family event with the receiver, but there's a twist: they're pretending to be the receiver's partner.
[ FRIGHTFUL ]: the sender and receiver attempt to decorate the exterior of the sender/receiver's home together.
[ DELIGHTFUL ]: the sender and receiver work together to decorate the interior of the sender/receiver's home.
[ SMOOCH ]: the sender and receiver end up under the mistletoe together during an evening of celebrations.
[ SWEET ]: the sender and receiver enjoy an evening of baking treats together, again, to varying degrees of success.
[ SPARK? ]: the receiver walks into the living room to find the sender trying to light a fire and struggling with the process.
[ SLOPES ]: the sender and receiver enjoy a day of hitting the slopes and skiing together.
[ CHEESE! ]: the sender and receiver try to orchestrate the perfect, most stress-free photography session for the festive photo.
[ CUTE? ]: the sender and receiver participate in the ancient tradition of wearing ugly/itchy sweaters during the holiday period.
Hey, I started reading Robin son of Batman because of your recommendation (I literally have a print of your post on my phone to not forget lol). Honestly? One of the best things I ever read!!!
Thank you for opening my eyes! Damian has been one of my favorite characters for over a year, but I didn't read/watch much of him because of school, life (and probably an executive dysfunction in the mix).
Maya is incredible. I loved her.
I haven't finished all the issues yet, but do you have any other recommendations?
WAH this makes me so happy, i'm glad you still gave it a shot even with how busy life is!! ;v;
i’d love to give reccs, and i’ll try to go a beginner friendly route! tbh you can pick up whatever here, but since you've read R:SOB i’d immediately follow up with Batman and Robin (2011) #1-8! this first arc is what’s referred to in Maya’s introduction, and it's just. so good.
Main Books
Batman and Robin (2009)
Dick as Batman with Damian as his Robin!
#20-22 Tree of Blood: Dark Knight vs White Knight arc is done by Tomasi and Gleason, the team for the next Batman and Robin series
*Batman and Robin (2011)
Bruce and Damian figuring out their relationship as both Batman & Robin and father & son
imo you can enjoy the ride and read straight through this but i’ll add context to avoid as much confusion as possible since there’s the occasional tie-in or offscreen events, like Damian’s death nbd
Batman Incorporated (2012) #1-10
events leading to Damian's death - affects Batman and Robin (2011) from issue #18
kind of a tough read especially with how Talia's written, but a lot of iconic bits like Batcow, Damian's vegetarian declaration, Alfred the cat, "We Were the Best, Richard."
Robin (2021)
another self-discovery adventure, particularly after Alfred’s death and a fallout with Bruce (and questionable writing choices from his last Teen Titans run)
Batman and Robin (2023)
currently ongoing! after a number of events, Bruce and Damian are back as a duo
Damian Dynamics!
Batman: Streets of Gotham (2009) #7, 10-12
arc where Damian meets one of his first Gotham friends, Colin Wilkes
Batgirl (2009) #5-7, #17
Steph and Damian dynamic! "the bad cop, worse cop" dysfunctional duo
Red Robin (2009) #13-14
early Tim and Damian dynamic that of course includes fighting haha. funny enough, accidentally my first intro to Damian LOL
Teen Titans (2003) #89-92
Dick!Batman has Damian join the Teen Titans. Start of Damian and Rose Wilson dynamic that’s extended in Robin (2021)
Batman: Gates of Gotham (2011)
Damian meets Cass and has a brief team up
Gotham Academy (2015) #7
Damian meets Maps Mizoguchi! they have a few other meetings, but outside of that the series itself is a great read!
Robin War Event (2015)
Robin War (2015) #1, Grayson (2014) #15, Detective Comics (2011) #47, We Are Robin (2015) #7, Robin: Son of Batman (2015) #7, Robin War (2015) #2
Duke and Damian dynamic! not exactly beginner friendly but these are the main issues in order for the event! you can also read the TPB version for everything including Tie-Ins
Nightwing (2016) #16-20, #42, #43
#16-20 Nightwing and Robin arc!
#42 Dick on a mission to save Damian! the one appearance of "Wiggles" the dragon
#43 Dick, Roy, and Damian team-up
New Talent Showcase 2018 "Catwoman: Pedigree"
Selina, Damian, and Alfred the cat
Batman: Prelude to the Wedding - Robin vs. Ra's Al Ghul (2018)
Selina, Damian, and Cheese Viking - Damian's fav game shown in Nightwing: Rebirth (2016)
Monkey Prince (2022) #1-4
Marcus Sun Shugel-Shen's main comic, but Damian features as a fun dynamic here before they're in more serious circumstances in Batman VS Robin (2022)/Lazarus Planet event
Superman (2016) #10 - 11
the beginning of the Super Sons! featuring Maya!
Super Sons (2017)
solitary arcs but there’s a few event tie-in issues later
Adventures of the Super Sons (2018)
literally more Super Sons adventures lol galactic shenanigans yeehaw
Challenge of the Super Sons (2020)
Super Sons time shenanigans feat. the Justice League
Robin 80th Anniversary (2020)
"Boy Wonders" - brief Damian feature as Tim considers his next step in life
"My Best Friend" - Jon's thoughts on Damian and their dynamic
"Bat and Mouse" - refers to Damian's unfortunate Teen Titans (2016) run at the time of release which follows up with Teen Titans Annual #2 where Damian briefly gives up Robin
Extra Comics!
Superman/Batman (2003) #77
Kara and Damian in a Halloween team-up! also the appearance of "Li'l Matches" lol
DCU Halloween Special '09 "Cavity Search"
Damian out on a solo mission for Halloween night. Immediately after is Tim's Red Robin story "Then and Now: Our Father's Sins" which is more somber in contrast but also a good read!
DCU Halloween Special 2010 "Robin the Vampire Slayer"
a Dick!Batman and Robin story featuring the vampire Andrew Bennett
Cursed Comics Cavalcade (2018) "The Devil You Know"
Halloween themed comic with a sweet short story of Damian alongside Solomon Grundy
DC's Terrors Through Time (2022)
"Trick or Treat" a Super Sons Halloween story
"The Haunting of Wayne Manor" Damian and Deadman story - in the end, Boston kinda refers to Nezha's possession of Damian in Batman VS Robin (2022) which was happening at the time of this release
Batman: Li'l Gotham (2013)
lighthearted series that instantly makes me smile with the silliness and Dustin Nguyen’s art i love this dearly
Secret Origins (2014) #4 "A Boy's Life"
a retelling of Damian's origin story
Detective Comics (2016) #1001-1005
Batman and Robin vs the Arkham Knight (unrelated to the game)
Truth & Justice (2021) #6/#16 - 18 Digital First version
cute story of Damian’s birthday! Juni Ba’s art is so fun!!
DC Festival of Heroes: The Asian Superhero Celebration (2021) “Special Delivery”
short story about Damian! and poisoned pizzas. completely forgot the artist Sami Basri drew Rebirth Damian here before catboy Damian lol Cass’s story “Sounds” is also cute! Marcus makes his first appearance in "The Monkey Prince Hates Superheroes"
DC VS Vampires (2021)
Damian makes appearances throughout this elseworlds book, but the one-shot DC VS Vampires: Hunters (2022) is vampire Damian-centric!
Batman: Black and White (2021) #5
“Father & Son Outing” short story written and drawn by Jorge Jimenez!
Batman: Urban Legends (2021) #20-23
#20 “My Son” Talia and Bruce focus
#20 - 23 “The Murder Club” 4 Parts
Tiny Titans (2008) #33, #39, #45, #47
a few appearances but SO CUTE, LOOK AT HIM
*Batman and Robin (2011) reading guide
i'm mostly trying to avoid the "what did i just walk in on?" kinda feeling when i first started reading comics LOL i'll list the comics where events take place, but you don't necessarily have to read them to go through this book since things are usually explained as quickly as possible in the first page or so
#0 Someday Never Comes
Talia and baby Damian before he grows up to meet Bruce
#1-8 Born to Kill
just an incredibly solid arc for Bruce and Damian!
#9 Court of Owls Tie-In Issue
Damian VS a Court of Owls Talon. While Bruce is occupied with a home invasion of Talons, Alfred makes a call for allies to protect targeted Gotham public figures from Talons. During Batman (2011) #1-11
#10-12 Terminus
Damian challenges the previous Robins sans Steph
Batman Incorporated (2012) is occurring at this time where Talia has placed a bounty on Damian and there's small mentions of that
#13-14 Eclipsed/Devoured
mostly solitary arc! end of it leads into the Death of the Family event
#15-16 Death of the Family Tie-In Issues
Damian and Joker face-off... Alfred's been kidnapped by the Joker, and Damian goes looking for him. During Batman (2011) #13-17
#17 Life is but a Dream - Death of the Family Epilogue
a sort of subconscious check-in through the dreams of Damian, Alfred, and Bruce. Nightwing (2011) #17 features Damian encouraging Dick after Death of the Family events
#18 Undone "Requiem"
Bruce dealing with Damian's death from Batman Incorporated #8
other reactions to Damian's death: Dick in Nightwing (2011) #18, Tim in Teen Titans (2011) #18
#19-23 Denial, Rage, The Bargain, Despair, Acceptance
Bruce through the stages of grief with some batfam appearances in each. also introduces Carrie Kelley into continuity as Damian's acting tutor.
Batman (2011) #19-20 also addresses Bruce's loss
#23.1-23.4
these could be skipped - villain stories, also related to Forever Evil event.
#24-28 The Big Burn
optional Batman and Two-Face/Harvey Dent arc, #23.1 is part of this story!
Damian's resurrection and return
#29-32 The Hunt for Robin
Ras took Talia and Damian's bodies from their graves, and Bruce goes after him.
-> Robin Rises: Omega
continues events from #32. if you don't want to jump to this, basically, Glorious Godfrey and a bunch of parademons from Apokolips are here for a chaos shard which Ra's put in Damian's sarcophagus. at some point, Bruce gets a hold of the shard where he sees a vision that leads him to believe Damian can be resurrected. Godfrey ends up taking the shard, along with Damian's body since it was emitting the same energy.
#33-37 Robin Rises
Bruce hellbent on retrieving Damian from Apokolips and reviving him
-> Robin Rises: Alpha
necessary to read and continues events from #37! Damian's back with a bang lol
#38-40 Superpower
Damian adjusting to having superpowers and being alive again
Annual #1 2013 Batman Impossible
sweet (and funny) one-shot of Damian sending Bruce on a meaningful scavenger hunt around the world while Damian gets to be the cutest Batman for a bit
Annual #2 2014 Batman and Robin: Week One
one-shot takes place during Damian's absence. after Bruce and Alfred find a mystery gift left for Dick, Dick recounts a story he had told Damian from his Robin days.
Annual #3 2015 Moonshot
one-shot Batman and Robin adventure on the moon!
...and of course after Batman and Robin (2011), Damian's story continues in his first solo Robin: Son of Batman (2015)!
Izzy's apology in the finale seems to have taken some people by surprise. During the break between seasons, I tried a few times to politely bring up the fact that Izzy was technically abusing Ed. Not because I wanted anyone to stop liking him (you can like a character who's doing abuse! it's not real. who cares), but because I was worried about the reaction when season two came out. I love this show very much and I know how tumblr can get. Most importantly, I love fucked up fictional relationships and cannot abide people making these two boring. So here we go. (I also love lists)
First. Emotional abuse can occur in intimate relationships, family relationships like father and son, or in the workplace (Ed/Izzy triple threat!). Second, it has to be an ongoing thing. Someone doing one of these things once is not abuse. Abuse is a pattern of cruel and frightening behavior in order to control the victim.
(Don't feel bad if you didn't notice this stuff! It's relatively subtle and we're kind of trained to ignore and forgive it, especially from characters like Izzy. I wasn't 100% sure I was right about this either until season two confirmed it. I think a lot of people don't even know what emotional abuse is, at least where I live.)
Below are some pretty solid warning signs (this said "criteria" before but I changed it to be more accurate) for emotional abuse, followed by examples:
•Monitoring and controlling a person’s behavior, such as who they spend time with or how they spend money.
One of Izzy's main motivations in season one was trying to force Ed to act more like his image of Blackbeard. To achieve that, he bullied, belittled, and threatened Ed. He attempted to kill Stede because Ed was spending too much time with him and he felt that Stede was a bad influence.
• Threats to a person’s safety, property, or loved ones
He tried to kill Stede (Ed's loved one) or get him killed several times. Once trying to get Ed to do it himself with the doggy heaven situation, once directly with the duel, and once by calling in the navy.
He didn't directly threaten Ed's safety until episode ten, but he did seem to have Ed convinced that the crew would kill him if Izzy wasn't there to protect him and then when Ed did things he didn't like, Izzy threatened to leave. It's indirect, but has the same result: Ed felt he was unsafe unless he did what Izzy wanted.
• Isolating a person from family, friends, and acquaintances
Izzy seemed to keep Ed isolated from the crew, act as a go-between, and control their perceptions of each other to a certain extent. In the first few episodes, Ed was always shown alone in his goth cabin with Izzy as his only contact. When he started to make new friends Izzy tried to make him kill them.
After Izzy was banished, he secretly sent Ed's ex in to manipulate him and get him away from his new community. Then he got them all arrested, culminating in the deal he made with the English that would have made Ed his prisoner. Not sure that was on purpose, but it was so fucked up I had to mention it.
The bit that really got me, for some reason, was when Frenchie asked after Ed and Izzy told the crew he was sick.
• Demeaning, shaming, or humiliating a person
Izzy is often shown berating Ed and yelling at him. The way Ed reacts suggests to me that he may be used to this kind of treatment from people in general, or from Izzy in particular. He never leaves or asks him to stop, he just takes it.
• Extreme jealousy, accusations, and paranoia
He was so jealous of Ed's relationship with Stede that he got the literal military involved. His explanation to for why Ed enjoys spending time with Stede was that he has "done something to [Ed's] brain." Like, what magic powers do you think he has, Izzy?
• Making acceptance or care conditional on a person’s choices
Izzy made it very clear that he would only support Ed if he conformed to the Blackbeard persona. He also seemed to have Ed convinced that there was no way he could survive without Izzy's support.
I just realized that if you subscribe to the headcanon that Izzy acts as a sort of caretaker to Ed (I do not) then all of this is way more fucked up.
• Constant criticism, ridicule, or teasing.
In season one he criticized everything Ed did, all his plans, even while telling him to come up with more plans. He ridiculed Ed and called him names pretty often: "twat, namby-pamby, insane." Even in season two when he's doing better, most of their interactions consist of Izzy teasing and making fun of Ed for being mopey or in love.
• Refusing to allow a person to spend time alone
I didn't think of this until now, but Izzy is often around when Ed thinks he's alone. He knows about things that happen in scenes he isn't in. Izzy's always sort of lurking, though? And he does it to everyone. So I'm not sure if we should count this one.
• Thwarting a person’s professional or personal goals
He's ok about piracy related goals, but as soon as Ed tried to do something other than that he got so weird about it. "This crew is so talented, why are we even being pirates?" is what got Izzy to threaten Ed. Which is interesting because he was fine with the retirement idea before, when he thought he'd get to be captain.
• Instilling feelings of self-doubt and worthlessness
"insane unpleasant shell of a man merely posing as blackbeard." "I should have let the English kill you. This... whatever it is you've become is a fate worse than death."
• Gaslighting: making a person question their competence and even their basic perceptual experiences.
He called Ed insane and implied that the crew would mutiny if he wasn't there to stop them. This is clearly untrue, as we were already shown that his method of "massaging the crew" consisted of calling Ed half insane and pulling Fang's beard even though Fang hates that. The fact that he calls Ed insane more than once while at the same time trying to get him to act more insane seems like basic gaslighting to me. Then again, Izzy's definition of "insanity" may be like, depression, crying, showing emotions, loneliness, and enjoying softness.
[can't find a gif of this so just imagine Ed in the gravy basket with Hornigold saying "you're worried you're insane."]
Something that wasn't on this specific list but is generally considered part of emotional abuse is manipulation: the use of indirect tactics to change someone's thoughts, feelings, or behaviors in an attempt to influence them for personal gain.
I think Izzy often tries to be manipulative. He's not the greatest at it, but it's the thought that counts. He manages to be surprisingly successful through persistence and repetition.
He's got Ed convinced from the first time we see them that he is useless as a captain without Izzy. That's why Ed feels like he needs him. He tells him that the only thing standing between Ed and a crew constantly on the brink of mutiny is Izzy. Then he tells him that he will leave if he can't live up to his expectations.
He has a pattern of lying to Ed or not telling him the whole truth. He threatens him directly and indirectly in an attempt to influence him and control his behavior. He wants power, whether he gets it by becoming a captain when Ed retires or by making sure Ed remains powerful by any means necessary.
this is what he was apologizing for, along with the years of being terrible to Ed before Stede came into the picture. I never expected him to admit it so clearly like that. He fed Ed's "darkness," poked at his trauma for so long because he needed Blackbeard. It was something they did together, and he enjoyed Blackbeard's dominance and cruelty.
Of course there are other things that can be part of this kind of abuse, like infantilization, silence, and harassment. There are more examples of abusive behavior from Izzy at the start of season two, especially in the scene where Ed's asking Izzy to kill him. but I am not ready to get into that right now.
Anyway, Ed and Izzy's storylines in season two only make sense to me with this in mind. Ed is recovering from not only the suicide attempts but also this fucked up situation he was in, whether he realizes it or not. Izzy learns to stop being such a shitboy and admits he was wrong. ~growth~
if you interpret their relationship differently that's obviously fine. but I think this is the most interesting interpretation, as well as what was intended. It's no fun for me when people make them both equally awful to each other. I like it better as it is in the show: Ed fighting back against Izzy's emotional abuse with physical violence, which only ends up traumatizing him further. It's such a unique and fascinating story.
Dark contend ahead!
TW: manipulative!reader, mindfucked!sae itoshi
Sae Itoshi poor boy that doesn't know anything outside football. Maybe if he pulled his head out of his ass sooner he would have noticed how you played with his pretty little head. But there is no way the icy prince Sae wouldn't notice something like that, such a good player must be clever too. So when you told him countless lies about people next to him "They all want your talent and fame Sae-chan~ They can't wait to stab your back, your little bro included. In this world we are the only people of value" it didn't cross his mind that you were playing with his heart and mind, using him as your fave puppet.
But how could he suspect you when all he could see were exactly the scenarios you always described him?
Everyone is shit, every word is poison, every person he knows want his fame and success, they are all reject.
You are the only light, you are the only person he can feel at ease with, you are the only person Sae desires.
And know here he is, crying and biting into his pillow because his team lost and he didn't score any goal, but worse than everything, you won't love him anymore, because it is impossible for such a divine creature to stay with a loser like him "Sae~ have you heard about this Michael? He play in Germany, journalists say that he's gonna be the best player ever!" and Sae see all the likes you give at his photos and now you even have his number!
You can't leave him, you are his safe place, he MUST be the best or he won't be able to have you anymore, hold you, taste you.
Sae is hallucinating, he can hear your voice, your fingers on him, your taste and it takes very little to start humping the pillow, now placed between his legs.
He starts to imagine what you would say to him, in such a miserable state.
Nothing, you would say nothing, just step on his chest and spit on his mouth; it would taste heavenly.
Just like that Sae cum in his pants, snotty nose and eyelashes soiled with tears.
Truly miserable.
"Sae-chan~ you really can't do anything without me anymore mh?"
He can't.
very sad still see the saria/silence divorce headcanon still going around
have you ever tried to consider that they never dated before lone trail because it would be unrealistic with the timeline and the events and also because it would be overshadowing the actual truth of why they couldn't get along
So I was just thinking about how plants reproduce asexually and how funny it would be if one of the brothers just suddenly had a child one morning and the gang had to deal with it, as you do, and it got me thinking to how there are no other independent plants born on Noman’s Land during 150 years.
Now, there could have been. Either they were raised quietly and secretly by kind folk, or treated similarly to Tesla. But given that we had Tesla and then the twins born in what seemed like not too long a time apart, it seems a bit odd.
Except that we know that plants are all struggling on Noman’s Land. They’re being pushed to the point of death regularly. Plenty of animals that are under extreme duress don’t reproduce, so why would plants? Not to mention, under the right circumstances, plants can live forever. Obviously they’re evolving into independents, but with what resources could they spare to produce those children? It’s a bit sad, imo
Headcanon: Eddie Munson is a menace as a boyfriend. Here's a few things he definitely does:
• Turns off the bedroom lights and leave you in the dark because he thinks it's funny to hear you shriek.
• Flirts with you in public while pretending not to know you.
• Calls you in the middle of the night to ask the most unhinged questions that are really not important and could definitely wait until morning.
• Pretends to give you a massage only to attack you with tickles.
• When you're crouching on the ground he'll tip you over so you loose balance and fall.
• If you have long hair he'll steal all your scrunchies and hairclips.
• Uses all your beauty products and denies it later. "What do you mean?! I smell nice like this naturally, thank you very much"
• Doesn't order food for himself because "he's not hungry" but the second your food arrives at the table, he's picking on your plate. Eats the last fries everytime.
• Tries to bribe you into doing things for him because he's lazy. "If you roll this joint for me I'll wash the dishes later, I promise" He did not, in fact, wash the dishes later.
• Turns off the videogame before saving when you win because he's a sore loser.
• Likes playing footsies with you. It never ends well because he's competitive and kicks you too hard at some point. Feels bad and apologizes later though.
• Starts food fights whenever you cook together. He promises he won't, but still does it everytime.
• Makes up silly little songs about everyday activities and sings them to you all the time.
• Tries to carry/manhandle you and fails miserably. Trips over himself while holding you bridal style and drops you.
NSFW (ish?) ⚠️
• Slaps your butt when you're going upstairs in front of him.
• Steals your underwear. Don't ask.
• Playfully talks to your genitals like it's a separate being, gives it a cute name and everything.
• Teases you in public, whispering naughty things in your ear.
• Also likes to come up behind you on stores/supermarkets and get very close, so close your back is pressed against him, only to reach for something in front of you and leave.
• Smirks when he leaves you flustered. "Aw, are you blushing baby?" Fucking idiot.
• Teases you about your kinks. Not in a mean way, just an annoying way. "Look babe! You like those!" while pointing at something that involves it. Does it in public too just to see you get embarrassed.
• Loves licking and biting you for no reason. If he sees any parts of your skin exposed? He will lick and bite you, be prepared.
• Won't stop talking during sex. You have to kiss him or make him suck on your fingers because he just won't shut up. It's not even dirty talk either, he's just rambling away because his brain stopped working.
• Blows raspberries on your tummy and thighs during sexy times. Yes you've asked him to stop multiple times. No he absolutely won't stop because he likes hearing you giggle. Somehow it doesn't ruin the mood.