#It's really interesting to look at old scenes and see them in a new light or with a new added weight

[trashlie]

In light of ep 179, we revisit revisit the development of Nol and Shinae’s friendship

Who is ready for another found of Ashlie Being EXTREMELY Ashlie starring me, going through old episodes and digging up things to overanalyze? 179 sheds such fascinating insight on the way Nol approached and befriended people, I HAD to go back through and re-examine both his approach and when and how those friendships began to feel real to him, with an emphasis on Shinae.

I will also shortly be putting together a part two follow up, which I’ll link to here once it’s ready! 

In light of the reveal that Nol never really intended to actually be anyone’s friend - that he was trying to rebalance the good and the bad, to improve someone else’s life since he couldn’t improve his own, that he wanted to do good for someone without committing - I decided to revisit some past scenes that always gave me pause, or that I think are especially interesting to revisit with what we know and how it may have changed from what we used to believe. Like most people, I was operating under the assumption that while yes, Nol seemed to really hate himself, I thought he sought out friends he saw himself in and offered the kind of friendships he wanted in return. I was so sure that he treated Shinae the way he wished people would treat him - and while I’m not discounting that there’s probably still some truth to that - acknowledging the additional layers of his mentality in seeking these half-baked relationships makes reviewing certain scenes really fascinating. 

I’ll have to do a full reread, I think, to determine when exactly I think the friendships became real for Nol. I’m inclined to think it was around the arcade episodes, but I’m not entirely certain. Maybe that’s when it starts to trigger? I feel like something about the introduction of Yui in an episode when Nol is out having fun, seeming to drop the worries that plague him, enjoying the presence of these people he’s collected to help, feels like it’s sending him a reminder: you aren’t allowed to care about these people. And what better time for him to start becoming aware of what they meant to him? 

In fact, by the time Nol and Shinae meet again at the Hirahara office when Rika is finding out how Shinae can apply for a job, I think Nol has an easiness with her that suggests a real friendship is blooming? However, there’s definitely things I’ve questioned about those episodes that stay on my mind: why is Nol so insistent about working with friends, is there any meaning to his dejected expression when Kousuke whisks him off to dinner, and what’s up in the car? 

Here’s the thing: he’s obviously pushing it because it is his karmic duty or whatever to help her in whatever way he can. If a job would make things better for her, he’s going to encourage and support her as her friend (using it in bold to imply that this is his intention as Nol-balancing-the-good-and-bad not Yeonggi being a pal). In fact, he actually literally states “I’d love to work alongside friends“ in bold which is giving me pause in retrospect. Is it just because he didn’t TRULY think of her as a friend yet, that it was all fake? But my other thing is, Nol knows that Shinae isn’t exactly eager for his friendship, so if he’s pushing her to apply because FWIENDSHIP you’d think he wouldn’t use friendship as the enticer because why would she bite at that? Is it something that he’s not aware of? I can’t imagine that’s so. At any rate, he’s clearly egging her on in his quest to help improve her state of being, but boy the way he goes about it is weird. 

Secondly, when Kousuke is dragging Nol out to eat, Nol wears a long expression and seems like he’s glancing back towards her - he actually does turn back and wave goodbye. This is something that makes me wonder if by this point Nol was already growing fond of Shinae as a friend. I mean, obviously he is no mood to go off with Kousuke and sit through dinner with him and listen to him insult him further, but it’s just the way his expression seems to direct towards Shinae that makes me think that maybe, even without him realizing it, Nol is feeling even worse to leave behind a friend and have to go to dinner with Kousuke. 

There’s a lot of other things I continue to question about that entire couple of episodes - like, what’s with the stand off with Nol and Kousuke both take off their coats? I continue to baffle over that one because I know it’s not about Shinae. I also used to question if the little smile Nol wears after Kousuke attempts to eat the burger with his hands was a smile that Kousuke was, for once, trying something very normal, but now days, I’m willing to bet it’s a more perverse pleasure at seeing Kousuke pushed into doing something that made him uncomfortable, a quiet, mean-spirited enjoyment? 

But the other thing that brings me back to that series of episodes is in the car when Nol covers Shinae with his jacket. I’ve ALWAYS contemplated that series of expressions he wears: going from a probably forced Yeonggi smile to the expression dropping a bit and a sweat drop appearing to a genuinely sad expression before he turns to look out the window. I never really was sure what I thought it meant before but now I think we have enough light to glean a little more from it. This is, of course, sheer conjecture, but I have to wonder if it’s a moment of Nol and his Yeonggi persona warring - this acknowledgment that he’s doing these things to “be a nice person” (but a truly nice person doesn’t have that stipulation attached) and maybe even feeling a fondness for her as a friend before remembering that he’s not allowed to feel that, that he’s not supposed to care about any of these people, that it’s dangerous to actually befriend people. I don’t know when Nol would have had to take his tests to apply to Oxford, but I wonder if by that point he already knew his plans, and entangling with anyone knew made him feel guilty? Again, conjecture. 

At any rate, I think it’s around this time that Nol is starting to realize these people are his friends - truly his friends, that it’s becoming real, and maybe is even internalizing that there’s something very wrong with treating people like friends when you don’t intend to keep them as such - and moreso, that he ENJOYS being their friends and wants to maintain that friendship. And Kousuke is very aware of this. I think this is important to note, because though Kousuke does not realize that Nol pretends to maintain these friendships, he does see these little moments that Nol probably thinks are private going unseen, he does see the “effect” Shinae has on him - which I’m using loosely because, again, I think it’s Kousuke interpreting Nol’s behavior differently from what it is. I think it’s also important to highlight for posts to come re: Kousuke and Shinae in regards to Nol, but that’s a post for another day.

By the time Nol is hanging out at the Wac during Shinae’s shift, I think Nol’s in a deeper conflict with his feelings. From what we know now, obviously he feels like he has an obligation to help her, because again, he’s trying to make other peoples’ lives better, he’s trying to rebalance the good and the bad, to do something nice for people. But his sense of obligation - staying the entire shift, ordering more nuggets when he thinks she needs a reprieve from shitty customers, the urging her to follow up on her application - all feel like extra steps. Now, we can also argue that Nol was probably very much like this with Soushi and Dieter. From the way he throws around the word cute and says things like “then I can see you more”, I think Nol pushes his boundaries a lot without thinking about the repercussions, so going above and beyond to help Shinae get a job isn’t out of line. But it’s also possible that going above and beyond is what leads him to truly care about these people, as real friends. 

When Nol tells Shinae “I really am just trying to be a decent friend” there’s no weird emphasis on friends, his eyes are open (though he turns away so we can’t really see his face). This, plus the way he calls to follow up on her application, both make me think that it’s safe to say that by this point, Nol sees Shinae as a real friend, whether or not he’s admitting it to himself yet. It might be why he actually backed off, too; he acknowledged that he was going too far and as a friend that wasn’t okay. I realize this implies that Nol didn’t respect Shinae before their friendship became real for him, but perhaps it’s simply that he grew to respect her even more, because now he realized this friendship went both ways, and he didn’t want to make things worse for her. It went against the very thing he was trying to achieve. 

This is something I wanted to establish because I think by the time of the Kim formal, Nol and Shinae are friends. We know it’s the night that she finally accepts his friendship and feels a bond with him, but I think it’s also the night Nol acknowledges to himself something he’s figured out as truth, that has BEEN true. Somewhere in the span of the arcade to the the Wac, Nol has come to enjoy Shinae’s friendship - not as as person helping her, but as a friend. 

I think we see a marked transition in how Nol treats Shinae the friend at the formal vs how he treated Shinae the person he’s helping prior. Before he was trying to pull her out of her comfort zone, he was trying to lead her to things he thought would benefit her (the job, getting her more comfortable with Dieter, the way he all but pushed his friendship on her), but afterwards, he’s REALLY respectful of the boundary that Shinae drew, like really conscious of it and trying to not cross it. I know that seems like such a minor thing but I think it’s safe to say that at this point Nol is respecting Shinae as a friend. And the whole night he does this. Lines like let me know if I’m pushing your boundaries, I don’t want to push your limits, he remains mindful of Shinae’s comfort and boundary. Everything he does during the formal feels like the act of a concerned friend, a genuine friend. For Shinae, this is especially important, because Nol essentially becomes a lifeline to her during what will turn into her worst night ever. 

Bear with me, this was the entire inspiration for this long post: the dance with Kousuke. 

A theory I enjoyed musing about was that when Nol catches sight of Shinae laughing as he tries to make her relax during the dance, it’s the moment he realizes he likes her/starts to like her/it kickstarts feelings. Quimchee was once asked on curiouscat what Nol is into and her answer was something about a nice smile, so you can see where the theory came from. These days I don’t think Nol was catching feels at the moment - especially now that we know what his state of misery was, now that we know his friends were all meant to repair his karma, now that we know he truly believes his situation can never change or become better. Nol barely allowed himself to admit he cared about friends, I don’t think he has been developing romantic feelings. HOWEVER that’s clearly still an important moment - there would be no reason otherwise to highlight his widened eye, his shock at seeing her react to his efforts with laughter. 

That is the moment, I think, that Nol realizes and admits it to himself: Shinae is a friend and he cares about her and he cares about her happiness. Doing something dumb during a moment that she’s uncomfortable and watching it work, watching it bring her laughter, has an effect on her, and the effect is realizing that he cares about this friend and he’s not just repaying bad with good. He’s being a friend. 

When Shinae goes to talk to him after the dance and he returns her jacket, they have a moment that I have ALWAYS pondered over. “Shinae. We’re friends, right?” Nol asks wearing his fake smile mask. I used to think it was insecurity, because he’d tried so hard to win her friendship but now that we know he wasn’t really trying to BE friends, just faking it, I think it’s easier to read it now as, perhaps, Nol testing the waters. The realization that yeah, they ARE friends. That it’s a reciprocal friendship, that he’s done the unfathomable and once again allowed a person to mean something to him, to become a person he cares about. He’s sounding it out because now he’s realized it is real. 

Which is funny, because that brings me to something else that I’ve always wondered about. When Kousuke is accusing Nol of being a skirt chaser (good lord), Nol delivers the line “What’s it gonna take for people to understand I’m only seeking something platonic. Just because she’s a girl and I’m a dude people assume I want something else” with his eyes closed. I touched on this in another post but the short version is: it’s easy to read this like Nol is lying and that he IS seeking something that isn’t platonic or something like that, because why else are his eyes closed. This isn’t a facade kind of eyes closed. But I think it’s because the lie is that Nol does want something else - he’s not even intentionally seeking friendship, it’s meant to be fake, but he’s out here acting sincerely as a friend, when he wasn’t supposed to get close to anyone. When all he wanted all along WAS something else - to help someone and balance out the good and the bad. 

And instead, he ended up with a genuine friend. 

(I do continue to muse over the moment that Kousuke asks Nol why he didn’t interrupt them and Nol merely looks at him without replying. Is it simply that he can’t believe Kousuke thinks that of him? Is it that he knows an interruption would have been even more embarrassing for Shinae? Is it that Kousuke didn’t even notice that the reason Shinae loosened up had nothing to do with him or her becoming comfortable but because it was Nol? That he did his part without making a scene?) 

Anyway I think that moment of Nol realizing that “oh no I care about Shinae oh no she’s my friend” is especially important to highlight for the rest of what follows. Firstly, when Sangchul pushes Nol’s buttons, it involves Shinae and Alyssa. He’s stopped when Sangchul calls Shinae his bitch and it’s made worse when he brings up Alyssa and suddenly Nol doesn’t hold back. These are his friends and he is responding not as a person helping them but as someone who cares about them and their wellbeing. In fact, Nol has already dealt with two extreme encounters related to this.

One: When Kousuke has the audacity to imply Nol should be with Alyssa instead of concerned about Shinae, Nol enters a deal with him, full well knowing what will come of it.

Two: Nol runs into his father and finally stands up to him, willing to accept his wrath, because finding his friend in danger is far more important. 

Regarding his father, Nol knows very well what his defiance can cost him, but he’s worried enough about Shinae that it’s a risk he’s willing to take. Notably, too, he refers to Shinae as a friend and there’s no implications he’s lying. Not only is his fake friendship real, but it’s worth defying his father. 

(Of course it’s worth noting: Nol already believes that caring about people leads to their harm. He believes that he makes bad things happen, that the good and bad balance is off and bad will continue to follow him. So, it’s safe to assume that as well as acknowledging that he cares about Shinae, he also believes she’s in danger because of him, because he cared about her and now he has to fix this, too. But that also leads to my next point.) 

When Nol tells Kousuke he’ll do whatever he asks of him until the end of the year, he already knows what it will be. Kousuke has already told Nol to limit his interactions with Shinae, is already trying to sever their friendship. Nol is locking himself into a promise that he will use to his benefit, because knowing that a. his friendship is not as fake as he pretended and b. another person he cares about is in danger, I think Nol has already decided to sever the tie himself. Knowing that Kousuke will tell him to stay away from Shinae, Nol makes a deal when all he had to do was walk off and ignore Kousuke. He’s already made up his mind. He’s going to help Shinae and then he’s out of here.

It wasn’t the guilt of dropping her into the pool. 

It was knowing that once again harm befell someone he cared about.

(And likely both cases involve Yui.) 

The fact that not only was Nol unable to help Shinae but it was him who dropped them, he’s the reason Shinae fell into the water and hit her head is obviously a heavy weight of guilt, and it merely proves to himself that he’s correct: that he cannot be friends with Shinae (or anyone else for that matter), that she is yet another in a list of people hurt because of proximity to him. Who was he kidding? Who did he think he is, believing that maybe he could have friends after all? 

And thus begins Nol’s quiet exit, his attempt to extricate himself from the lives of those he’s grown to care about (and his subsequent inability to do so). 

Now I don’t think the balcony scene at the hospital is necessarily changed by the revelations that Nol never sought out Shinae’s friendship for real as much as just gives further weight to moments that already resonate. When Nol talks about how it’s his guilt that brought him back, that it’s his fault she ended in the hospital - it’s not simply about dropping her. It’s his guilt that he got close to her, his guilt that he cared when he knew better, his guilt that (as he believes) he was punished for daring to do what he knew he couldn’t and she was the one harmed, to remind him he can never change his circumstances, he can never have better. 

(It’s funny, how they both carry this sense of guilt. Shinae, too, thinks none of this would have happened if Nol had never taken it upon himself to look after her and take care of her. She feels the weight of being important to someone like a burden, that she’s caused people to worry, that because people care about her they’ve done rash, stupid things. Both of them feel so much guilt!) 

Anyway, i think it’s really worth revisiting that episode fresh off the back of 179. It really brings an added weight to those ambiguous thought bubbles: “I’m pathetic”, “what do you even see in me, I’m just a waste of time”, “I don’t deserve you”, “I’m the bother”, Nol’s arm always reaching for what he never allows himself to grasp. Though their circumstances are different - Shinae feels like she’s failing a friend who has been nothing but good and taking out her emotions on him undservingly; Nol has come to realize how much he cares about Shinae and how he doesn’t deserve her for the way he’s lied and tricked her, for the way he tried to be something he wasn’t so how dare he think he deserves her friendship, he’s just a waste of time - they share this same sentiment towards one and other and I think in light of episode 180 it’s even more poignant. Nol and Shinae don’t know much about each other at all, but this moment at the hospital stitches them together, no matter how hard Nol tries to run away later. The emotional resonance that binds them operates at the same frequency as the other. It’s what brings them back to each other over and over, even when Nol has told himself not to. It’s what makes them so important to each other. 

How can Nol move on from that? That vulnerable moment of Shinae clinging to his coat and crying, something so private and exposing, the way he provides her that moment of reprieve, a safe place to let it out, and his realization that maybe Shinae’s problems are bigger than he’d once thought, not something easily fixed by his saccharine smiles and sweetness. I don’t think it’s until later that he registers just how bad it is, but it might be the beginning of Nol realizing that Shinae suffers more than he realizes, more than she lets anyone in. How is he supposed to walk away from her after they’ve established that connection, this intimate moment of vulnerability that changes the way he sees her? 

I’ll be saving THAT for the next post, though, because there’s a couple moments in particular that I really want to give time to. Nol tries so very hard to make his escape, to slip away, but unfortunately for him it’s not as easy as he expected because not only did Shinae come to embrace his friendship, but their shared experience and now mutual-trauma at the hands of Yui has brought them together, bound by a moment of vulnerability from a girl who tried so hard to fortify her walls. For Shinae, that whole night is a nightmare, half a blur that she can’t remember, a fall she has no recollection of, waking up in a hospital with no recollections of an attempted assault. It leaves her vulnerable and feeling small and the small source of comfort to her through the night was the very person who now feels he is nothing but a danger to her, that he must remove himself from her life if he’s to protect her.

And isn’t that sad? That he cares enough about his friends that he wants to protect them, but foolishly believes the only way he can do that is by leaving them?

This is what leads to my next post: how Nol is so dedicated to his cause, but also so often derailed, and how this factors into the growth and development of his relationship with Shinae. Simply put, the weight of Shinae’s importance is so heavy that not even his own moral compass can keep him on what he believes is the right path. 

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #Shinae Yoo #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Stalkyoo #this isn't really a shipping post per se but we all know that i love to howl about foundations #I feel like it's about time for me to do a reread all the way through with 179 in mind lol #It's really interesting to look at old scenes and see them in a new light or with a new added weight #the kinds of double meanings there may have been in certain dialogue #to see new motivation in things that may have seemed innocuous or even confusing; things that didn't quite make sense at the time or just #stuck out as slightly strange just slightly off because they never quite fit the narrative we knew #i also think we can see new weight to the way their friendship developed - that despite the circumstances like a weed in a sidewalk they #still managed to grow and bloom #i maintain my statement that Shinae is the moon and nol is the tide dragged back to shore by her no matter how often he retreats #their relationship seems so resilient despite it all #i can't wait to write my follow up post to this i hope i can take care of it in the next couple days #i'm heavily musing over a couple moments that - to me - just seem extra poignant now #god i'm a sucker for nol and shinae's friendship and what they mean to each other #A FUCKING SUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRR #in spite of it all he just can't stop himself from caring ;~;

[supernaturalistthings]

Years

Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Summary: How Dean Winchester would finally admit his feelings to you after hiding them from you for years.

Warnings: soft core smut (heavy kissing and touching)

You were the human embodiment of the stars and moon that helped Dean focus on the roads on late nights. You had a fire that would roar to life like his beloved car while having a softness and comfort to you like the well loved leather seats. Every dream girl Dean had ever imagined paled in comparison to you. You were incredible in every way to him, mesmerizing.

He had for years longed to feel the softness of your face in his calloused hands. To feel your heartbeat directly against his. To run his long fingers through your beautiful hair. To finally feel what it would be like to be kissed by you. He could picture it, but he couldn't even begin to imagine what your gentle lips would feel like moving against his undeserving own.

On nights where he had a room to himself he would think of how soft your thighs must feel. How it would feel to run his hand from ankle to hip. How it would feel to hold you in his hands. To fit with each other like puzzle pieces. How you would look at him while he did it. You would look at him with that smile of yours, beaming eyes of adoration and warmth like he'd never felt before, and he would melt. Not even knowing what to do next, even though he had done this countless times with others. It would be different with you though, you were different. Not like anyone or anything he had ever encountered before. You were the love of Dean Winchester's life.

It pained him to not tell you, to keep something so big from you when he shared everything with you. He knew you'd be upset at knowing that he kept anything from you but, he couldn't bring himself to do it no matter how hard he had tried. It's like his breath was taken away every time he tried to utter the words to you. Everytime he was around you.

Yet here you guys sat on an old worn out motel couch, a movie roaring, green and pink neon lights streaming through the cracks in the curtains. He knew nothing about him had ever been close to perfect, until he met you. This was perfect.

You were sitting next to him, his arm slung lazily over the back of the couch almost as if he had his arm around you. You were focused intently on the screen, but he was more interested in the way you reacted to the movie rather than the movie itself. The way you'd jump a bit at some random scene, and blush at the couple making out in the next was Oscar worthy to Dean in itself. Best picture, by far.

“So what'd you think?” you say breaking him from his thoughts.

He looked at you, mind racing but all he could say was “it was alright” with a smile

“Oh c'mon you know you liked it” you would say with a smirk getting up and leaving the warmth of your presence behind to grab a beer from the fridge. You close it behind you and turn back around to see Dean deep in thought.

“Where's your head at?” you'd say cocking your head slightly to examine his contemplative state.

He stared ahead.

“Dean?” you'd say trying to gather his attention, which didn't work so you leave the bottle on the counter and slowly make your way over to him. You rest a gentle hand on his shoulder. He slowly starts to turn his head to look at you. You can see from his eyes that his mind is racing. He's almost breathless.

“You okay?”

“Not really” he’d huff out and shake his head as he turned his attention to the floor. This was it. Now or never. He couldn't stand the thought of never. He stands and meets your eyes once again and puts his hands on the curve of your waist while he slowly leans in keeping eye contact the whole time until the space between your lips closes. Both of your eyes flutter closed and you savor the new sensation of each other for a second before he pulls back looking at you questioningly. Awaiting some kind of reaction. He hoped that everything or even just some of what he was feeling was communicated.

You were speechless, breathless even. You were sure he could feel your heart racing. Never in a million years did you think that your feelings for Dean Winchester would be returned. That you could finally share the love you harbored for him, with him.

“Im sorry” he breaks the silence and continues, “i had to do that, even if it was just once” he says, slowly and tenderly lifting his hand to brush a strand of hair out of your face while searching your eyes for any sign of reciprocation. Anything that told him there was a chance his dreams could be real, that there was a chance. He had never felt so desperate for anyone or anything than he did in this moment. He was looking at you longingly when you finally broke yourself out of the shock. ,

“it doesn’t have to be just once…” you’d say looking into his green eyes trying to convey the desire you had to be his and only his that you’d had for years. You place your hand on his toned chest and run it up to the short hairs on the back of his head. Gripping and pulling him into a second kiss. Both of your eyes flutter shut once again and you start to slowly move your lips against each other. Feeling and breathing each other in.

Everything you needed to hear was painted beautifully from his lips onto yours as they moved in perfect synchronicity together. Both of your heads were racing with the memories of moments they thought they had read the other wrong and slowly realizing and accepting each other's feelings. No more “almosts”. Dean's hands traced from your waist up to the sides of your face, his hands rough against your smooth cheeks just like he had imagined and could now actually feel. He tenderly cupped your face in his hands, his arms flexed against the black t-shirt covering his broad chest. He held you there like he needed you to breathe, and in this moment he couldn't help but feel like he did.

“This is all i've wanted for so long” he breathes out against your lips and then unable to help himself keeps kissing you.

“You have no idea” You'd say in a whisper back and feel him smile into the kiss. Your lips were needy against each other, finally feeling what they had been desperately searching for. The weight of unspoken desires was lifted. With every touch came a new depth of connection and love. The silence filled with breathy kisses and the sound of clothes ruffling against each other's hands as you lightly caressed over each other, holding each other in all the different ways that had been desired by the both of you for years.

You were lost in each other, in a place where time had no meaning and no one else existed. You both savored each kiss, touch, and minute as if it were eternity itself. Any shadow of a doubt was gone.

You pulled back smiling, beaming at him. He looked at you like every girl wants to be looked at. You needed him. He had opened the floodgates by kissing you and you couldn't think of anything else you wanted more right now than to be one with him.

Your smile drops slightly as you slowly and you silently bring your hands to the hem of your shirt to lift it off yourself. Dean's hands reach gently to stop you, eyes dark looking into yours with concern. He takes your hands into his and looks seriously at you and says, “I don't want to rush things..” You look at him and tilt your head, smiling, taking the sides of his face into your hands.

“I've wanted this for years now Dean, I don't feel rushed at all.” you say breathlessly and filled with hope when you continue, “Do you?”

His face softens and he looks at you deeply, fully absorbing what you said when he realizes you're right. This isn't rushed, this is the perfect moment. A culmination of years of words unsaid, of touches missed, of glances held a few seconds too long.

“Not even a little” he says looking deep into your eyes with a soft smile and gently brushing your cheek, pulling you in once more. Sealing the space between the two of you once again. You leaned on your toes and gripped his toned upper arms while he slithered his arms around your waist and held you close. He slowly and affectionately moved his hands down your back and over your soft rear leaning over slightly to rub over the tops of your thighs, while you needily ran your hands through his short hair. The kiss was never broken even as he started shuffling your bodies nearer the bed on the other side of the motel room.

#dean winchester #dean winchester headcannons #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester moodboard #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #dean x you #supernatural #supernatural headcanon #supernatural imagine #dean winchester x you #dean winchester one shot #dean winchester headcanon #dean #dean winchester x female!reader #dean winchester masterlist #dean winchester smut

[the-dixon-effect]

Daddy Issues

words: 1.1k

Nobody knew about your past.

Not even a bit. Your presence in Alexandria was regarded by the suburbanites as the disposition of a survivor, someone who had really been shaped by the cruel world outside the gates. Even the members of your own group, your family, didn't dare delve into the rocky landscape that was your life before the fall.

Despite the distinct mystery that followed you wherever you went, some could still sense the trauma you had ensued before. It was in the way you walked, the way you carried yourself, in your defensive impulses and your kind nature. And by 'some', this meant a certain archer who you had taken an interest in since the start.

Daryl Dixon was a man of few words, but since the beginning, you knew there had to be something else underneath his thick skin, a hidden treasure of sorts. And how right you were. You two remained by each other's side at all times, never once leaving the other in fear of losing them. If Daryl had lost you, oh God, he would have lost the one thing keeping him going, the light in his life, the oasis in the vast desert that was this harsh world. You had been so kind to him, and seeing you and your perfect smile was like medicine, and of course, he couldn't help but fall for you. He practically knew everything about you, or at least, he thought he did.

"Ya' alright?" he spoke. The two of you sat side-by-side in the front of a truck, heading out on a run. He had noticed your quietness and how it differed from your usual animated, cheerful manner. He rested both hands on the steering wheel and looked over at you. It had not been long since your father had died, out on a run, not unlike your current mission. Eaten alive by walkers, it was a terrible sight to witness for all involved, especially you, who remained silent for days after.

"I'm fine." Quite the opposite. Such a strange feeling, the man who had abused you your whole life, emotionally and physically, trapped you in the ghetto of Atlanta, and forced you to humiliate yourself to make a living, died at the hands of the new natural world? Did he get what he had coming? Did he deserve it all along? Were you supposed to be grateful, or satisfied? You always imagined that your father's death would feel like a gratifying weight lifted off your shoulders, but for some reason, you were never able to shake the trauma, the anxiety of it all. It was as if the world couldn't let you go, and you were being held hostage in your own dark memories.

Daryl might have been the most observant person you knew. You really thought you'd be able to keep the truth from him and he wouldn't know? Maybe, just maybe, it was time to let it all out. After all, if you were going to confess to anyone, it would have been him.

"I can tell you're not, ya know," he drawled.

"You remember my dad, right?" you spoke, softly and quietly. Even with his eyes fixed on the road, Daryl could sense that you were frowning.

"Ya, I remember tha' prick. Shoulda knocked him out while I had the chance." He also remembered your strong feelings against him, and how he had made a scene in the prison once by ordering you around with a less-than-polite tone. Daryl had obviously stepped in to defend you, which practically began your friendship. You thought of this often, and couldn't help but see Daryl as your protector from then on.

"Well, it's just that- I don't know, it's stupid," you began. "Can't stop thinking 'bout him. The way he died. It just- It seems wrong."

"Shit. I'm sorry, I shouldn't 've said-"

"No, it's okay. He was a horrible man." He was indeed, and though everybody shared your feelings about your father while he was with your old group, not one of them was aware of what he had done to you before the fall.

"There's- there's things I haven't told you. About him, and, about me." Daryl furrowed his brows. Of course he knew there must have been something deeper within your relationship with the man, but he never expected himself to be one whom you would share it with.

"It's alrigh'," he drawled. "Take your time."

"He hit me. All the time. Whenever he was mad or depressed or drunk, or even happy." The words came so easily, and you had underestimated how good it would feel to release some of this pressure build-up, especially to Daryl. Still, you couldn't help but let your eyes glass over as the memories came flooding back. You weren't sure, but despite the horrific things you had endured, it felt right to let it out for once.

He simply stared at you, and even with his brown hair falling over his eyes you could tell he was in shock. How could someone do something like that to you, the most beautiful person, in all ways, that he'd ever met?

"I'm- I'm so sorry Y/N. I never knew 'bout any of it," Daryl was at a loss for words.

"You wanted to know what I did before the world went to shit?" you paused for a moment, understanding that right now, you could not take any of this back.

"I was a- I was-" tears began to stain your cheeks. "I had to- I was a hooker." Silence.

Shit. How could he maintain a friendship with you after that? You were in total disbelief at your confession. Things will never go back to the way they were, you thought.

You sat there, shaking in your seat, forgetting where you were and paying no attention to your surroundings.

It was true, every part of it. You had been a hooker living in the hood of Atlanta before the fall, and you hated it. Every part of it. But there was no escape from the ghetto, and the route you had chosen to survive was safer and steadier than a life of crime. Still, every day you dreamt of a man who could take care of you, love you for your mind and soul, somebody to treat you right. Had you been shaped by the apocalypse, or had you always been like this?

"It's okay. I'm gon' take care of you. Ya don't have to worry 'bout anythin'." Daryl's soft words came like the arrival of the man you had always imagined late at night. You didn't need a man, of course you didn't. But Daryl, maybe you needed him.

#brandy writes #angst #twd angst #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl x y/n #daryl x you #daryl dixon fluff #daryl dixon smut #twd daryl #twd #the walking dead #daryl fanfiction #daryl dixon x you #daryl dixon x y/n #daryl dixon x female reader #daryl x reader

[r0ckgoblin]

Would that I- bella ramsey xreader

“true that i saw her hair like the branch of a tree”

summary: bella is a person of many trades, your favorites just so happen to be when they play guitar and sing. you have always admired this about her, as any friend would. b/c you and bella have always been supportive of each other’s interest, they always come to you first when he’s written a song or learned a new one. why would this time be any different?

a/n: idk how to write summaries… but anyways enjoy:) (p.s. hc wise, i think they listen to hozier…yea she definitely does)

warnings: unproper grammar(maybe) how i've passed all my lit classes i will never know. probably not fully proofread, i miss the smallest things smh

*all pronouns for bella used*

you wiggle the key into the stubborn door of bella’s apartment, eventually winning the fight against it. opening the door you’re met with the sound of guitar strings being plucked and you smile softly. setting your bag on the kitchen counter you begin wandering around looking for your best friend.

“hey bels?” you call out.

“in here” he says from the sunroom.

you laugh softly grabbing a small throw blanket from the couch.

"hi" you smile, bending down to hug her, finding it a little difficult due to the guitar in their lap. the smell of old spice wonderfully clouds your sense of smell as they reach up to hug you back. the two of you gently sway for a few seconds before you pull back to adjust yourself next to him on the small couch, covering your legs with the blanket.

"how was your day?" he asks smiling over at you.

"it was good, slow, it was just a lot of cleaning up some scenes" you exhale recalling your most recent project, a movie you had been working on for the last few months, one only the people a part of it and the people closes to you knew about. acting was stressful sometimes, but the final project was always worth it, and that's something you and bella could both agree on.

"those days are inevitable, but i believe in you." they say as the lean back to rest their head on your shoulder. this caused you to blush a light pink color, luckily, he couldn't see your face at the moment. you didn't know what it was but lately you've been feeling certain ways about your best friend, and you were scared you wouldn't be able to hide those feelings for much longer. the only thing stopping you was the incessant fear of losing her friendship if they didn't feel the same way.

after moments of peaceful silence bella breaks it be jolting up excitedly. "oh! i learned a new song!"

"really? show me!'' you smiled mirroring her excitement. for as long as you've known bella your favorite thing about them has been her ability to play guitar and sing. they were so good at it, and it seemed to be a big passion of his as well.

"of course! you're going to love it, it's a hozier song" they beam at you holding eye contact waiting for your reaction, which didn't take long because you immediately grinned so big.

" you learned another one? which one?!" you question with giddy.

"you'll have to guess."

"c'mon that's no fun" you whine putting on a fake frown.

"you'll live" she jokes.

"okay, fine go." you pout resulting in a laugh from her.

she plucks some cords before playing, listening to them intently. you just stare at him in awe. before you know it, you're hearing the first notes of hozier's "would that i". you gasp in amazement, and they let a small laugh leave their mouth, somehow without losing focus. as if it couldn't get any better, he also starts singing the words along with the music.

you feel your eyes water, you have no idea why that would be happening. was it the emotional toll of being in love with your best friend, someone who you've watched grow into a beautiful and talented human being? the fear that if you were to express how you feel, it could all turn against you, and you lose the one person who means the most in the world to you? or maybe it's just because the song is so beautiful? its defiantly the song.

you got so lost listening to his voice and the way the sun setting through the window made their skin glow and made his hair shine like honey. shit you were head over heels.

by down you had drowned out her voice due to your staring that you didn't even realize they had finished. not until they're talking directly at you. you blush a little realizing you 100% got caught staring.

"so what do you think?" she ask not making eye contact.

"i loved it," you smiled,

"thank you so much." he grins, and you swear you see faint pink on their cheeks.

"i, um-", you go to say something, but you stop yourself.

"what was that?''

"i uh... i should get back to my hotel.''

"just stay here'' she says but its more of a begging question.

"no, i can't, ive got an early morning and we both know i'm not quiet in the mornings, i wouldn't want to wake you that early.'' you try and lie.

"y/n please'' he begs, grabbing your hand giving you those big brown puppy eyes.

"i'm sorry.'' you shake your head.

they tug you closer, your chests touching. they stare you in the eyes, you notice her give a quick glance to your lips. you in return look to theirs.

"there's something uh... i've mean meaning to tell you," they exhale nervously, "and i really need to get it off my chest. this um..." they swallow hard, "this is harder than i thought."

"shut up" you say with a fake serious tone.

"what i haven't even gotten to what i wanted to say." they knit their eyebrows in confusion.

"you don't have to, if it's what i think it is, i already know," you smile, "because i want to tell you the same thing."

"y/n-"

"i like you, like REALLY like you okay!"

"i-" they were speechless. you two just stared back at each other, waiting for the other to speak.

"i like you two, like reeaallyy like you." they smile wide.

you smile and release a breath of relief, resting your forehead on theirs. you two stay like that giggling back and forth.

"can i kiss you?" they speak up.

"of course." you smile.

she then softly presses their lips to yours, grabbing your face, she deepens the kiss making it more passionate but soft. his hands travel to your hair gently brushing it while your hands find the small of their back caressing softly. this goes on until your both pulling away for air, laughing breathlessly.

"so... stay the night?"

you laugh hugging them as they spin you around like something out of a movie.

the rest of the night you spend cuddled on the couch watching your favorite movies until you're both passed out in each other's arms.

a/n: AAAAHHH LETS GOOOO!!!! so BAHAHAAHAH this took longer than i wanted and it's not even as long as i wanted it:( anyways here it is, i hope you really enjoy it. there will hopefully be more in the future:) feel free to request, also let me know if my replies are off bc i clicked on one of my post and it says my comments are turned off??? idk, but my asks should be on:) love you! have a great day/night!🫶

#bella ramsey #bella ramsey fic #the last of us #the last of us hbo #bella ramsey x reader

[accio-victuuri]

let’s start the new year with some good old cpn!

so glad that yibo’s stages all went well! as expected from a performer like him. i was kinda nervous that a bad hot search will come out but it was all good. from people being touched with his/dls song, wanghan crying, his clothes, the bystander stage, his high ratings and him seeing the green sea. i’m sorry to the other celebrities who got smeared in the hs but that’s just how it is, better luck next year.

now onto the clownery, if you clown today, it means you will continue to do so for the rest of the new year.. so proceed with caution 😂😂😂😂

starting with the most obvious one are the photos from yibo-official and the effect it gave — it was so little prince. something they both have connection with and a favorite among turtles. international or not, it’s already there and we are not the only ones who noticed the reference.

also the similarity to xz’s weibo night ( their wedding day outfits lol ) effect and little prince look. 👀

another “similarity” is this right here. i like how wyb is in black and xz in white because in cql wyb was the one in white for lwj and xz in black. and the drumming!!! 🥁

during the countdown, WYB was doing the chongya pose. similar to XZ. awwww. i love that this has really become their thing now, tho it really originated more with XZ. even if they didn’t spend it together, they still do it. they have the same hopes and attitude for the new year!

in the subject of the countdown, some are commenting on this incident where wyb didn’t hug the girl/s who were moving closer to him. lol. he is married! what are you all doing? 😂😂😂 kidding aside, i think that a part of it is he is not familiar with them. the girl’s skin was also exposed so maybe he didn’t wanna touch inappropriately. and well, he is wang yibo. people will slice and dice all his public interactions so he is also being careful so people won’t misunderstand.

another thing that fans were looking into was the type of flower he was wearing as a brooch! lol. turns out it’s a ginger flower and it means to keep memories in summer forever. ginger flowers bloom in May-June in summer. the flowers are pure white, the fragrance is refreshing when blooming, and the flowering period is very long.It's short-lived, but it's also accompanied by beautiful memories.

i’m sure we’re over interpreting here lol. but whatever. it’s the summer we remember! 🤍

THIS PART IS NOT CPN BUT TO MENTION THE TIMES the cpf related light signs made an appearance on the screen. So there is a small screen in the venue where they can zoom in on the audience and some of the stuff that made it there were cpf light signs. not to say that these people understand the reference, maybe they found it interesting so they focused on it.

you may have also noticed the lone red and green headbands in this scene! lol. as a casual viewer, you won’t be paying attention to it and if you notice, you won’t even know what they are. but it means something to us and it’s nice to see representation.

and this one, i’m pretty sure he saw that huge ass turtle light sign! 😂😂😂

Disclaimer: i am not trying to undermine what his so/os did today to make sure the green sea was there for him to see. they have worked hard and i’m sure yibo appreciated them showing up for him. this is a cpn post so i would post cpf related stuff.

Lastly, fans have tried to send them a message on weibo and this time there is an automatic reply of them giving a happy new year message ☺️

-END.

#yizhan #bjyx #there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do #day 1 of 365 days of clownery 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻

[mostofthingsmostofthetime]

My thoughts on The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes movie

I don’t know if I liked it as much as the original films (maybe Mockingjay 1 & 2 as they are pretty emotionally draining), but I still enjoyed it.

I think where it fell a little flat for me is 1. The beginning was a bit slow (tbh I only really started getting interested when Lucy Gray stuck that snake down that girl’s dress & even then I enjoyed the story more when the setting changed from the Capitol to the district) 2. I knew Snow would survive 3. I’d already been spoiled online for a lot of stuff that happens & 4. while I know the director did his best to make Snow as “likeable” as he could for as long as possible, even before he started getting “a little too comfortable” with killing & snitching I didn’t find him as sympathetic as Katniss or Peeta (but that is probably again down to the fact that I know what he goes onto do & there’s no real way around that), this made engaging with him difficult for me.

The world is fascinating. Getting to see all the new locations we never had access to before as well as old locations now in a totally different light (for example district 12 which, while still clearly suffering, seemed like such a bustling industrial town compared to how it is in Katniss’s time). It might have a much more retro aesthetic but there's also just a more vibrant, natural, wild & lawless atmosphere to this movie compared to the others in the franchise. The whole scope of the film just felt more cinematic then I remember the others being yet also weirdly intimate. Maybe because it was one contained story & we knew the main character’s fate from the start. I also loved the title cards signifying the start of each section of the story like from the books & wished they'd done something similar for the other films. It just added a certain flair to the whole thing. Almost gave it the vibe of a tragic play.

The costuming was great. The bright red of the academy uniforms.  Flickerman’s snazzy suits. Snow’s dapper black & white outfit. Both peace keeper uniforms (despite one of them giving very ‘1930’s Germany’ vibes) looked great. Grandma might have been a bigot, but at least she was well dressed. Everything Dr Gaul wore (except the top that looked like a used tampon, lol) was exquisite. The main ladies of fashion, Tigris & Lucy Gray slayed. Our Future Capitol stylist looked like some regal yet exotic bird & Miss Survivor was giving Bohemian, country girl realness the entire time she was on screen. Even the extras were serving (like that random couple Snow walked past on his way to the reaping ceremony).

The music was amazing. Every song that played was fantastic (shout out to Olivia for her end credit contribution). The lyrics & instrumentation were beautiful & my god does Rachel Zegler have pipes! Anyone who says the singing scenes are cringy is just stupid like I’m sorry you can’t appreciate art. Also, the words ‘ballad’ & ‘songbirds’ are literally in the title. Plus, Lucy Gray is from the poorest district, so what exactly do those people want her to do in her free time? She can’t exactly hop on an X-box for a few hours. Not too mention that (as the offspring of someone who’s musically inclined) I can tell you, it’s completely realistic for a musician to use their craft to help them deal with trauma & Lucy Gray clearly had more than her fair share of that.

The Grandma'am helped to paint a sadly very realistic background for Snow. As who among us hasn’t met at least one delusional old person who thinks that their/their group’s suffering (regardless of the severity of it or the reason behind their former/newer status in society) means that no one else are deserving of even the tiniest shred of humanity & there are some people who are unlucky enough to not only be related to these people but be raised by them.

Hunter schafer as Tigris is clearly the superior Snow when it comes to things like empathy & overall mental stability but I do kind of wish they’d been more for her to do. Credit where credit is due though her & Tom did actually look like they could be related & I did buy their familial bond (which makes her appearance in Mockingjay so much sadder in hindsight).

Peter Dinklage as Casca Highbottom was a bit of a mix for me just due to his purpose as a character & the limit of film as a form of media. Like sure the audience know that Snow’s going to become an irredeemable monster in the end but without a window into his mind it really does just seem like the Dean is just out to get him & even when we find out why it seems kind of unfair. Like sure his dad sucked but haven’t the Games shown that blaming children for violence caused by others is unjust (& like ok he hates Coriolanus & probably the grandma but Tigris hadn’t done anything to deserve living in poverty, as she can’t control who she’s related to)? Plus, it felt like he could have at least tried taking Snow under his wing at some point to try to hinder Dr Gual’s influence. Saying all of that, though, Peter Dinklage is great at playing an addict with depression & the idea that some drunken rambling could lead to such long-lasting suffering is terrifying. Also its pretty realistic that living with that kind of guilt & in such a cruel environment for that long would make most people jaded & bitter, even if they did have good intentions.

Omg we finally get a Mayor family on screen & they’re assholes! Madge would be so disappointed 😭. It was interesting to see how harsh & overall “boot licky” the mayor & his family seemed compared to decades later, which makes sense as the war wasn’t that long ago for them so the dad probably felt more incentive to align himself with the Capitol as well as not feeling very connected to the district people as 12’s decline probably didn’t fully set in until they really started running low on coal & Snow became president (oh I just know he wanted to blow that district off the map 😆). I also wouldn’t put it past Billy to come up with some sob story of how he really does love Mayfair but wicked Lucy Gray is somehow preventing them from being together. Still no excuse to try to send her to her death twice in one week, though. Definitely not a girl’s girl.

Ok, so a liar. Cheat. Drunk & someone who hits women. Is there anything good about Billy Taupe? Also, trying to get your ex back, while your current girlfriend is literally standing right next to you? Dude, have some god damn back bone! You made a choice, now stick to it. Also, fumbling Lucy Gray, for a girl like that? What’s it like having no brains or taste? Well, too bad, coz you’re stuck with her forever now, lol.

Viola Davies, the actress that you are. What else is there to say? Dr Gaul is almost comic book levels of insane. Like she is how the Right see women in STEM, on crack! I don’t know what she did to get into character, but whatever it was, it worked.

Jason Schwartzman as Lucretius Flickerman is a very interesting addition to the story despite playing such a small & seemingly insignificant role. He is strange in how unthreatening he is while also extremely blasé about the abhorrent violence he witnesses that it’s as funny as it is disturbing. Making him come across as  more human yet harsher than his son, who at least pretends to care about the tributes (in a very Capitol way, obviously but still). There’s also a polish & confidence to Tucci’s performance that I think Schwartzman did a great job of avoiding copying (despite knowing what audiences were probably expecting) because not only are their characters in entirely different stages of their careers but the whole ethos of the Hunger Games is different in Snow’s youth than it is in Katniss’s. Caesar is a well established presenter & during his time, the games have always been a success (minus the year with the tundra) that the entire Capitol is invested in & seemingly in support of. On the other hand Lucretius had the unique task of not only coming into a job like this with zero experience (I mean imagine going from announcing the weather to presenting the fucking hunger games) but also there were no vibes to try to emulate let alone guidelines to follow because he truly was the first person to do this. On top of that, the "event" his presenting has been panned for years as both boring & unethical. Schwartzman brought a slightly awkward, experimental, yet try hard vibe (like a comedian who's desperate to get a laugh) that I think worked wonderfully for the character.

Tom Blyth's performance was great & he was visually perfect for a young Snow (the power of a good wig! Who knew lol). Even having the cool, analytical stare of Donald Sutherland, down pat. While his appearance was very Eminem during his peacekeeping days, his realisation in the cabin and subsequent breakdown in the woods were crazy. There was so much tension between him & Rachel in that scene that for a second, it literally felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. I could almost hear the record scratch for both of them, & all that building paranoia finally coming to a sudden crescendo in the way that it did? Pure cinema!

Josh Rivera, as Sejanus, was honestly a mix for me. Obviously, I agree with his morals, but his way of going about it did seem a little dumb. However I do think it’s pretty realistic that a teenager, especially a rich one, would be rather naive. Also I’ve heard that he’s smarter in the book & I think at times my frustration with him is more just down to the fact that I’m seeing him from Snow’s point of view. Meaning scenes that would be portrayed as noble in any other film instead come across as almost painfully inconvenient because the focus is always on how they affect Snow rather than the actual victims of the situation. Lastly, sorry, Snowjanus shippers, I just don’t see it (especially on Snow’s end), but whatever floats your boat.

Rachel Zegler played Lucy Gray with the perfect mix of natural charm & emotional vulnerability with clear pride in her culture & a refusal to let the world around her change who she is. Yet there was also an air of mystery & a subtle resilience to her that makes her potentially surviving out in the woods for years without being detected actually believable (though I don’t buy the theory that she went on to become president Coin). Definitely the highlight of the movie for me.

PS. I'd love to know what you think of my review in the comments/tags & am open to criticism (as long as it's respectful) just remember that I'm only talking about the movie so please don't reference anything spersific to the book.

#some other things i wanted to mention but didn’t seem significant to put in the review (+ it was getting rather long) are: #Clemensia you were so pretty & did not desserve to die #like who hasn't cheated on their homework a little #may my hair look as good as your's if i ever get bit by a snake #dill & wovey rest in peace my darlings #Lysistrata it wasn't your fault #Arachane you got what you deserved tbh #reaper you have my respect forever king #lumina really said kill um with kindness #no but sersiously i love you girl & your 1950's farm girl aesthetic #marcus you did not desserve that & sejanus is sorry & in my heart you guys meet up & become boyfriends in the afterlife #treech you didn't leave much of an impression but at least your hat was cool #bobbin my little germin looking boy #at least you gave Snow a good scare before your demise #coral looks gay like that's a lesbian right there #thg #the hunger games #the hunger games the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the ballad of songbirds and snakes review #thg tbosas #thg tbosbas #tbosas #tbosbas #tbosas review #tbosbas review #thg tbosas review #thg tbosbas review #the hunger games the ballad of songbirds and snakes review #southern gothic is my new fravriote genre #review

[bombusbombus]

There's something about his writing.

Bruce pours over those articles when they grace the paper, trying to figure out the mind behind the prose. It's so much different from how Superman speaks.

It's so much different from how Superman fights.

Today's setup is simple, a smuggling ring busted. The facts in the police report, the words from the police chief's mouth. Last week's news.

But new information comes in, subtle and innocuous like the swish of a cape or squeak of a boot under the hum of a city—the charges allege that the accused parties were in possession of illegal weapons. That's news, the public didn't know what they were in for before.

Tactfully, quietly, the little reporter behind the scenes brings little pieces of news to light, weaving a web of interest but not quite suspicion.

And then like a projectile out of the shadows, the first point hits the reader across the face. The weapons are no longer in police custody. Where are they?

Anyone attempting to flee will notice convenient facts and testimony blocking the way. A carefully laid trap. And swooping in from the left, a new piece of evidence, smacking the reader clean across the face—a lexcorp employee escorted to the evidence room (as seen by an anonymous source).

It's a one-two punch: A van with a plastered over lexcorp logo was loaded full of large boxes behind the department, according to some kids on the street and an old woman in her apartment.

The journalist blocks incoming accusations of unreliable witnesses, pivots, uses the reader's weight against them when pointing out the MetropolisPD security camera facing the area whose footage could be used to deny the allegations.

And then he's in the home stretch; he's bringing it in, tying it up, looking into the darkness to see if the proper officials are coming or if he has to do this himself. Do we know the source of the weapons? Do we know anything about them? Is it really ethical to jail those arrested for the smuggling ring if there's no evidence? How do we know the ones arrested were actually the ones responsible?

Can we really trust Metropolis PD after the corruption allegations of the past decade?

And then, with nothing more than a byline, he's off into the shadows of obscurity once more. Just another meek reporter. Just another guy.

"Good article this morning," Batman will tell Superman when they next see each other, and Superman will laugh his big laugh and stand up straight in those bright colours and say, "well, that's my job."

But Bruce recognises deception and subtlety. And Clark knows he does. So they share a quiet smile and a knowing glance before leaping together into the night.

#my writing #idk I was thinking about how much someones writing reveals about them #drabbles #completely unedited lol #superman #superbat

[catchingdaydreams]

Wrong Summoning

Peter B Parker (demon) x reader

NSFW Warning

Imagine trying to summon an incubus but you don't have the correct material and summon a gluttony demon instead.

Don't worry he's very gluttonous for the taste of you!

( if it gets popular I'll do part two of just pure smut)

It was a cool summers night. The night was still young, many people were littered along one of the main streets, chasing fun and dancing to the music to various pubs and clubs alike. Rambunctious laughter could be heard echoing outside your apartment.

Your friends loved the nightlife, you though....not so much. No matter how much they try to plead and bribed you tonight it all fell short. You glance back at your window, seeing them hobble to a club across the street, you sighed. Partying wasn't your scene, tired it once and never again. Left a bad taste in your mouth. But you digress. A good book was better than being in a dark lit room, bumping against sweaty strangers.

Besides you had other plans today. You see the only good thing about a club compared to a book was that a book couldn't get you dicked down. Sure you have an entire shelf filled with nothing but erotica and your old reliable toys to keep your horny fill. However, it wasn't enough anymore. No matter how much you read, how much you fantasized, how hard you played with yourself, it only led with two outcomes.

1. You couldn't cum.

2. You didn't feel satisfied no matter how much you fucked yourself silly.

You weren't left with many choices either . You were too shy and meek to really be interested in a relationship. Even when it came to flings you felt awkward about it. Mostly cause you live in the heart of the city's party district and the last time you tried a one night stand with some flirtatious hunk it ended badly. You kept seeing him around to the point you started to freak out that he was stalking you. You really didn't want to be riddled with paranoia once more.

Your last option was stupid, but decided that this somehow was better than the rest.

You aligned a summoning circle with finishing touches. Brushing your timber wooden floors with blood and rosemary mix, you wrote the incarnation that was in the book beside you.

Oh yes you were reduce to this. Summoning an incubus. While you don't really believe in the supernatural, you thought why not. It's not like anything bad will happen. A lot of smut that you read, well not a good source of factual material, was maybe influencing your horny mind too much right now. And if nothing happens, well at least you had your own version of a wild night to tell your friends about , low key going insane and becoming a blood version of Picasso (yeah probably shouldn't tell them that...).

The book beside you, you found it at a little second hand bookstore. You were looking for a new mystery novel when you saw the old thing slip of the top shelf and landed right on your head before falling on the floor. Its pages directly landed on how to summon a lust demon. It was like fate. And you willingly accepted it.

The old book was hard to encrypt. Most of the summoning list was layered in vagueness and rhyming its ingredient and steps. But you think you got the gist of it. You may have substituted some items with things you could easily get your hands on at your local supermarket. You hope the demon wasn't picky that you used your espresso martinie scented candles instead of votive candles, among other things you used.

Your last key piece was lighting up the candles under moonlight. You light each one and read out the chant that was in your book. A slight breeze swept through your apartment despite having all your windows closed. It cause you to shiver on instinct. The flames of the candles flickerd but remained intact.

"Did it work?" You thought to yourself, skeptical at your handy work. "Maybe I said it wrong", You question yourself further. You had to use Google translate to understand how to pronounce the Latin words, maybe you should have used a more reliable translator?

"No didn't work, the incubus is suppose to come out of the summoning circle." You correct yourself, looking over the illustration of the old book once more before trying to summon it once more. And again. And again.

It wasn't working.

You slapped your face, muffling a desperate scream with your hand, you chucked the damn book at the summoning circle. Walking to your kitchen you grabbed a bottle of wine. Not even bothering with a glass you took a swig at it. You sigh glancing back at the contents of your fridge. You had a whole bag filled with pigs blood. 'Great what are you going to do with that!?'

"Your fucking stupid y/n!!! Believing that this was real. Get your damn head of the clouds, now I've gotta spend my Saturday night cleaning blood, chalk and other shit off my floor!" You slammed you fridge shut in anger. The light if the fridge disappeared, leaving you in complete darkness. That's odd, the candles gave off-

You looked over to your lounge room. You had to double take the situation. Your candles were completely out. Not even a wick of puffed out smoke filtered through the air. What was even weirder was that the moonlight no longer shined down onto your floors, despite no clouds blocking the moon. Your room was blanketed in darkness.

You gulped.

Oh it definitely worked.

You look a step into the room, inspecting your room closer.

"Hello?" Your voice was meek, practically a whisper. Yet you were only met by the unnatural coldness of the room. If it wasn't so dark you could probably see your breath. What you also noticed was that the outside music and laughter was pretty much drowned out in complete silence. Not a peep or a creek. Only your heart beat that thumbed through your ear drums.

Just then a ominous red glow came from the summing circle. You relied on instinct pretty much at this point, running behind the couch to hide. You were terrified but still curious, you peaked from the armrest.

The glow from the circle swirled forming ominous red smoke. The ground cracked open with a mighty shake, cries from the damned within bled into your room. A black claw came out first, reaching to the sky before landing itself on your floor, digging it's nails on the wood as it clawed towards itself. It was hard to see the full picture of this beast as the smoke covered most of its body but what was clear was his black obsidian-like ram horns that glistened despite no natural light. His eyes glowed deep crimson red as he stared into nothingness. His mouth opened, giving you a side view of his small but sharp incisors. He seemed lost in thought, like confused as to why he was here. That was that until he stopped and found you .He's eyes felt it bore into your soul, as of he was judging your sins.

You involuntarily gasped as you fully hid behind the couch now. Your skin was riddled with goosebumps, hair sticking on ends as you shake in place.

'Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope ,nope , fuck this shit' you stressed out, clearly having a internal struggle with yourself with the whole situation Infront of you. You regret being too horny that you summoned a fucking demon. And demons are real??? Oh God it's gonna kill you.

You anticipated for the worst.

But nothing happened.

You remained in the same place and so did the demon.

What you didn't expect was a throaty chuckle.

"Heh, sorry about the floor." The demon said with a hint of regret in his tone.

"And it's hard wood too. Damn really gone fooled this up already. Ah we could probably smooth out the scratch marks out. Maybe through a rug over it. If it can't be seen it's not there, yeah ? Yeah! That could work. Rugs bright out a room more-" He kept rambleing on to much of your confusion.

The demon looked about at the couch that you hid behind, taking notice that you haven't said anything or pretty much ignored his suggestions. He could sense he already stuffed up his introduction with you. So he tried again. Properly this time.

He coughed to clear his throat and began to speak once more. " Where are my manners." He clicked his fingers, re-lighting the candles around him, burning even brighter with his magic that it lit up the room, all still be a bit dimly.

"My name is Peter. How can I be of service to you Master" he says placing his hand over his chest as he kneel before you."

Peter could hear you shuffle behind , but still you didn't allow him to see your presence. He was even more confused, tilting his head to the side. He was so confident that you were the one that summoned him, he could feel the summoning pact from you. He looked around the small room . It was certainly a lot different from his last summons. More homely, warm even. He notices that everywhere he looked the walls there littered with books shelves stacked with both new and old books. 'So my master is a reader, huh?' He thought, thinking the likely reasons for his summons tonight.

"You have quite the collection of books don't ya?" He tries once more to start a conversation. " Gosh it's giving me cozy library in the middle of a country side vibes if I do say so myself. Bet you take pride in your collection, I can tell" he gleems a cheeky smile as he glaces some of the titles he hasn't seen before.

You really has no ideas what to say. One moment your terrified of him, then he's saying sorry and complimenting your books. That last part surprised you the most. Most people who you met would bring up the subject but then say nothing else. Your friends thought it was a boring hobby. Made jokes about being an old woman and all that.

You thanked the demon in a whisper.

"No problem!!" The demon chimed.

"Soooo am I able to see you, I mean I can pretty much do my job just right here perfectly fine but I wouldn't miiiiiiinnnnd , seeing my Master". He asked in a playful tone.

You debated over this, he looks scary but seems nice? Kinda awkward but nice. Removing yourself from your crappy hiding spot wouldnt put you in danger anyway. Regaining your thoughts You did make sure to salt the circle to prevent the demon moving outside of it. So even if he could try to harm you, he can't.

You slowly emerge and stand in front of the demon that you summoned. Now with the light of the candles and no fog you could get a better look at him properly. Along with the features you described before , he was tall, like bean pole tall. Certainly towered over your small frame.

He has the classic small black bat like wings on his back and an imps tail. His face featured that of a man in his mid 30s, a bit of scruff and distinct crooked nose. He was shirtless, but wore thin cotton robes. He looked very odd to be a incubus. Certainly you must have gotten the short end of the stick. He wasn't really your type.But you weren't complaining. He looked goofy. Major DILF vibes from him. Certainly was showing it through his dad bod. He was toned but not too much. Has a bit of chub with his gut that looked kinda cute hanging out-

Oh maybe he was your type. Wow okay then. You learn something new every day.

You felt too hot underneath his gaze, you hope that he couldn't see how bush was already forming. Your shyness was already creeping up on you once more as you looked away. The wine from before wasn't helping you.

But the demon kept staring at you. Finally, he broke the silence first.

"Huh?" Peter said out of disbelief, tilting his head the other side.

You looked back at him with confusion on your face. "What ?"

"Oh nothing, I just didn't know my master would look well like you." He says, gesturing his hands to you . This caused you to raise your brow. 'Did he notice your blushing or something. Was there something on your face ?' You thought, touching your cheek.

He took notice of your hand movement, quickly trying to resolve the situation once more

"Ah no I didn't mean it a bad way kid. It's just most of the time it's old men who summon me. Not that I'm saying I prefer that, it was a surprise, a nice one. No ,no you look lovely, oh gosh Peter stop messing this up again." He rambles on with apologies one after another.

It was a sight to see him jumble up with his words. He whole thing was so comical it gave yourself a chuckle.

He pause momentarily, looking back at you once more. His guilty face relaxed at your laughter. He signed out of relief.

A crooked smile was on his face as he relaxed a bit and started to speck without a speck of worry this time. "I'm really sorry can we start again?"

You nodded.

"My name is Peter!" He introduced himself, giving a small curtsy, chuckling at his actions. You matched his laughter. He beemed at your response, his wings flapping with glee as his tail wagged and hit your floor with each thump.

To you he looked like a golden retriever at this moment.

The tension in the room was no longer there. The coldness started to slowly dissipate, as a warmth grew between you two.

"It's nice to meet you" you say.

"Likewise~" he hummed, fiddling with his fingers he continued. "Soooo what gluttonous desires do you request of me?" He gets down to the point now.

Your face was stricken with confusion and he noticed. "gluttonous desires?". You repeat back his words.

"Yep that's what I was summoned for. I am a Glutton demon after all" he chimed, puffing his chest with pride.

You didn't really didn't know how to react. You were literally dumbfounded. Clearly you fucked up big time. You didn't respond to him for quite some time. He notices the stress riddled on your face.

"Master?" Peter called out to you. He grew concerned at your sudden change of expression.

He calls for you once more but you ignored him. You collapsed on the couch, placing your hands on your head you quietly sweard underneath your breath. You drag your hands on your face, hiding most of it from him.

He awaited for some sort of answer. And you gave it.

"I think I summoned the wrong demon" you state, not even bothering to look at him.

"You think you summoned the wrong demon". He repeats back dumbfounded.

Silence once again were between you two. Peter took upon himself to speak up.

"Ah okay not a problem, things like this happen" he says with a convincing voice. He flaps his hand in an 'no worries' movement.

"Really?" You ask, looking at him in shock and relief.

"Well no" He commented.

Fuck

" Well best no the beat around the bush, you got me curious now. What were you trying to summon then" he asks curiously, a bit too happy about all this.

You really didn't know if you even should say it. It was bloody embarrassing now. You were red as a beetroot and he certainly looks noticed that now. His eyes gleams at you with such delight. He took pleasure from your internal anguish.

"Well...you see...it's a funny story". You start to explain.

"Mmm, oh I love funny stories. Do tell ~" he says, plopping himself down on the floor, his hands cupped his face as his tail once more flickered back and forth.

"But maybe keep it to, 'long story short', it looks like my Master is turning red as hells fire itself!" He snorts at his own joke, wrinkling his face with a wicked smile as he slaps his knee.

You don't know how you could possibly go more red.

"I was ..."

You looked back at him but quickly looked down to the floor. You couldn't see his face right, hes being a right smug bastard.

"You were?" He trys to push for you to continue.

You sighed, shutting your eyes as you spoke next.

"I was trying to summon.....an incubus"

....

....

He snorts

And breaks in full laughter.

Peter looked absolutely enthralled by this whole ordeal. He would have never expected a little cutie like you would be summoning a demon of that caliber. He found you too shy and gentle for you wanting to experience raw an untamed lust. But he really shouldn't judge a character by the book. No, this whole meeting with you he found you blushing from ear to toe, first thinking it was out of embarrassment. Now he knows why. And now you piped his interests even more. A bit of him felt flattered that you even thought he was an incubus. His chest swelled with an unknown feeling. Not bad, and not good. It was a pleasant warmth. But he pushed that feeling away fast. He needs to focus on this little minx who summoned him. And oh boy, does he really have a lot to handle at the moment.

Peter wipes a tear from his eye as he tries to get a hold of himself. "Sorry sorry, heheh.. It's just..hahehe" he keeps laughing between.

"Okay okay. I'm fine now sorry. Tell me, you didn't substitute anything, beside the candles that smell heavily right now." He says, taking notice of the candles coffee scents.

"I used pigs blood. Didn't have sage nor Peony so used rosemary and hydrangeas instead", listed.You didn't even bother to look at him. You were too shamed of yourself.

"You're supposed to use your own blood. Creates a greater emotional connection between the incubus and the summoner. Pigs blood is the go to, to call a glutton demon. As for the other item, I have no clue how it affected the summoning but yeah. You botched it missy." He rants.

"I can see that" you sign. "So I'm really sorry but I don't really need your services, so you can just-" you point at the cracks of your floor boards " go back".

"Doesn't work like that kid" he mumbled.

"What!!!" You finally looked at him. "what do you mean, can't you go back?".

"Nope! I am here until a gluttonous desire has been filled. If you read that book correctly you should have known this already, tisk, tisk" He sings, clearly taking pleasure in your pain right now.

Peter slowly gets up from the floor, he stands in front of you as you were sitting, towering over you. He draws back a devilish smile, his fangs protrude out as his forked tongue slowly licks them. You sit in horror. The man before you, who joked and teased you looked down right sinful. You felt small, powerless despite him being caged right now. You gulped as your eyes met his teeth. You wondered how his teeth would feel on your skin, sinking into your neck. You were far too stressed out and humiliated right now, but a familiar warmth spreads down to your groin. You squeeze you legs together as you felt the start of your arousal. God you were pathetic. You hoped he didn't notice, but ooooh this demon did.

Peter chuckled lowly, he was enjoying the sight of ya. Your struggles was so fascinating to him. He never had someone interested in him. Sexually he means. He was always summoned by the power of greed, obsession. Powerful men wanted more power that a mere mortal can hold. Being the demon brought from gluttony, overindulgence was his way of life. And being the selfless demon that he is he doesn't mind sharing his way to others. Certainly doesn't mind when all his Masters, one by one are ruined from it. All their belongings, their pride and worth stripped away by the very thing that they wanted more of. He took great pleasure from it. And in turn kept his own gluttonous desires satisfied.

But now he has an opportunity to try something new. You brought it upon yourself to him on a silver platter. He first thought when he took a look at the situation that he was in was that something on the topic of books was your desire. Your link with him was not completed since you messed up his summoning, so he couldn't get a feel of his masters connection with him. No sense of obsession or greedy need from you. But Peter didn't need any of that.

You were an open book.

You wanted him.

And how can he neny that.

Certainly not when he too felt hungry.He didn't want just a nibble, or a taste. No, Peter wanted to devour you whole. He is gluttonous after all.

"Oooh Master~?" He practically purs towards you. He leans down at much he could with the barrier blocking him. You could feel his breath on your face.

"Were you really that dick hungry that you couldn't think straight with the summons. That eager to be fucked like the good girl that you are, that you couldn't even read the simplest of instructions. Now look at what it left you with. Nothing. Poor baby, noones here to please you, worship this gorgeous body until you cry out to God. Oh but he won't respond to sinners the likes of you love. Your too fucking gone now, tainted by lust."

You whined.

You really should be ashamed of yourself, but the way Peter spoke to your felt so right to you. Your panties were damp, and he hasn't done anything to you yet. You grew more needy for him, from just his teasing alone. You wanted to reach out and touch his pale and blackened skin. But you couldn't.Be damned, you were scared. Not getting cold feet or anything but he wasn't even an incubus. Your mind went a mile a minute, ending up with self doubt and negativity. He was just teasing you? Of course he was, you made a fool of yourself, he's just doing that for kicks.

"You know, I'm a pretty generous fella. I could help you. I believe this gluttonous desire would be more than enough to finish this ritual. What do you say Master~" he drags the last word as of he's breathless. He was getting ahead of himself with his eagerness.

"But your a glutton demon" you state.

"Mmm?" Peter responded, clearly not understanding what was going on with your mind.

"I thought gluttony was when your over eating." You say.

*Gasp*

"Certainly not. That's a harmful stereotype". He says in a shocked tone, crossing his arms, he looks away from you, he pouts.

"Ah shit sorry I-I didn't meant tha-"

But then quickly laughs it off, drowning out your apology. "Nah I'm just pulling your leg". He hums as he continues. " Gluttony is overindulgence." he corrects.

"Oh" you responded.

"And right now I want to indulge eating out your pretty little pussy~" Peter moans.

"Oh?...."

"Oh?" Again is puzzled by your reluctance.

'You're not messing with me, are you serious about this?" You questioned, still not sure if this demon is making fun of you.

"Yes~" Peter purred.

...

"If you don't believe I can beg fo-" " Ah that won't be necessary" You object but he does so anyway.

Peter instantly drops to his knees with a loud bang. His breath escapes him in a needy whine as he stared right at your with painful want. "Please, please Master let me taste you, I want to taste your pussy. Let drink from your sweet nectar. I can be your good demon for you. So good. If you let me. Use me. Order me master. To feast upon you. Let me devour you until you cry out for no more, to finally be satisfied. Please Master. Let me out."

Holy fuck. This man has no shame. Your left speechless as he just he smirks with such admiration. His body is shaking as if he wants to pounce on you, but the salt circle is imstill intact, preventing him to. All doubt has left your body when you noticed a tent that formed under his robes.

"You sure you aren't an incubus?" You laugh. He laughs back.

"Not sure, you know, might be one on my mother's side. Wanna find out together?"

#peter b parker #peter b parker x reader #peter b parker x y/n #peter b parker x you #peter b parker x fem reader #spiderman #smut fanfiction #smut fic #demons #incubus #demon summoning #incubus summoning #goofy #master #spiderman x reader #spiderman x y/n #spiderman au #spiderman x you #dad bod #dad belly #why did i make this #long fic

[mythicalartistx]

KH Japanese Translations Part 6

Part 5

Series where I discuss fantranslations and this time it's on Vanitas

Ever since seeing Vanitas backstory in the novels I became more interested in him, I already loved him as a character but the novels really increased that. So I'm going to look at some of the fantranslated kh3 scenes

Everyone knows how the translations can be off, now translations aren't perfect in general but its kinda odd when there are entirely new meanings or censored in the localization.

I'm glad I looked up translations for his death because it's so much more. It's more about freedom to choose and it's not even about darkness that much.

Sora: That face is—

Vanitas: I am Ventus' missing piece. You made up for the missing part of Ventus' heart. That's why my appearance came from you. I am made from you both, Ventus and Sora. We're brothers who make up for what the other lacks.

Sora: If you think that, why are you fighting us? We should be working together

Vanitas: It's my reason for being born. It is because I am darkness, that you both belong to the light, able to exist there. If that isn't 'working together' I don't know what is.

Sora: But I never—

Ventus: But I never asked for that.

Ventus: There's no need to divide which one is the light and which one is the darkness. I am me and you are you, just live freely the way we want.

Vanitas: Freedom? Ah, I am living freely... like this.

Ventus: Is living trapped in darkness freedom to you?

Vanitas: That's the way I chose to live

Ventus: I see

Sora: Is that really okay? Vanitas!

And it's just great, it's bittersweet. I like it a lot more. It shows that Vanitas decides to be trapped with darkness and is working with them so they could live and exist in the light. And it makes me wonder if he wasn't, would Sora and Ventus be unable to exist or live in the light. That's just something. All three of them affect the others. And these FT explains the appearance better and how they relate to the other.

I spent time looking at fan translations through various websites, people's comments, old posts, YouTube videos comments— and especially content relating to SR because those are the people who tend to care more.

Eng:

Sora: Your face!

Vanitas: I am the piece of Ventus that was taken away. And you're the piece Ventus needed to be whole again. So why shouldn't you and I look exactly the same? You define me Sora, the same way Ventus does. We are brothers who together, make a greater whole.

Sora: Then why don't you stand by our side instead with darkness?

Vanitas: Because I am darkness. And I do stand by your side. I'm the shadow that you cast. How much closer could I be?

Sora: But I didn't —

Ventus: But I didn't ask for this. To be sifted apart nice and neat. We should be free to choose. Not just light, not just darkness. We decide what we are.

Vanitas: But Ventus, I did decide who I am. You see?

Ventus: And what you are is darkness ?

Vanitas: What I am is darkness

Ventus: Okay

Sora: How is that okay? Vanitas?

And there's differences and it's honestly moreso the whole concept about freedom to choose is left out. The official translation focuses on darkness and him being darkness because that's what he is when it's honestly not just that. I feel like he's more than just darkness but that's my take. The JPN also explains how Vanitas appearance is better and the separation between Ven and Vanitas as well was stated better as well.

And I bring it up because I once was talking about how I thought the ships were odd because he calls them his brothers and someone mentioned that it was just an English translation thing, people can ship whatever they want I'm not here to stop that but does that mean the person say something incorrect?

Now I'm going through the monster's inc where Vanitas realizes where Ven is and he says this line.

JPN:

Vanitas: Ventus! So you were hiding in such a place all along, remnant of my heart.

ENG:

Vanitas: Ventus. What a strange place to slither off to... you insignificant speck

Now I want to point out how the phrasing in such a place is said as an insult. It is stated that somewhere like that is worthless as if Sora is worthless. Then he insults him by saying you are little of his heart. Like he isn't worth much. The changes here make sense and it kinda flows better. Like insignificant speck is an insult that clearly from the way the original statement was said.

Final Words:

As much as it would be interesting to have Roxas also there, it wouldn't really fit. The only relation he has to Vanitas is through Sora by looking the same as Ventus. Roxas is a great character but for that scene in particular it made sense that he wasn't present. Now it be cool if we got a reaction to seeing him in another scene.

Sora is the one that helped both Ven and Vanitas. He saved both of their hearts. Vanitas gained his form and appearance by Sora ability to connect with them. Sora saved Ven's heart from being destroyed and Vanitas—a being that was with Ven so long merged with his heart that when he was taken out it affected Ven. This is stated in re: mind, speaking of remind someone said something that I honestly think is interesting:

Post Notes:

I once heard that Vanitas referring to them as brothers was only a localization thing so I wanted to look into that, but I couldn't find anything through all the sources I used. I even listen to jpn audio and he still says kyōdai which means brother. Not sure why someone once said that

And I bring it up because It was about how I thought the ships were odd because he calls them his brothers and someone mentioned that it was just an English translation thing, and they aren't like that in the JPN version people can ship whatever they want I'm not here to stop that but it seems like they still do so why did that person say it?

Unless they're referring the the remind scene when Ven is like we're not brothers we're the same but Vanitas tells him you're naïve for believing that I've been with you for a long time and is another being entirely. But that's all the English version and I didn't really look at any translations for that scene... If anyone does know more about that scene....

Also Vanitas is my second favorite character now 😌

#kingdom hearts #kh #translations #japanese translations #kh3 #vanitas #vanitas kh #kh vanitas #vanitas kh3 #Kingdom Hearts 3 #kingdom hearts 3 #kingdom Hearts vanitas #vanitas kingdom hearts #kh remind #re:mind #I've spent so many hours on this #Honestly Vanitas probably became my second favorite character #Like he deserves good #from his orgins in the novel to this #Now it seems he just wants to be there for the two of them

[merlyn-bane]

BABE!

re: foelu prompts

i would looovveeee to see some spice with cody, obi-wan, and rex sometime after kai 🥺 kind of waxer and boil-esque (you know that scene of the three of them when obi is pregnant lives rent-free in my head) or whatever you come up with <3 you know i am eating it up

just a uh. big fan of those three 🤭

Your wish is my command, beloved 😘😘

Be advised I have not beta’d this at All, lmao.

[Requests for Foelu missing scenes, future snippets, and extra vignettes are STILL OPEN. Please submit any requests you might have to my ask box. They will all eventually be cross posted on AO3 as well 🥰🥰]

~~~

Date nights often include everybody—in the interest of fairness and because Obi-Wan does very much enjoy spending time with all of his partners at once—but of course that isn’t always the case. Sometimes not everyone can make it, and sometimes it’s nice to go as a smaller group or even one-on-one; and of course they take turns enjoying Obi-Wans’ more focused attention.

Tonight was Rex and Cody’s turn. The three of them had decided to go out dancing—Rex had been a few times with Ahsoka and thought it might be a good way to get all of their minds off of their six-month-old and other responsibilities, and was correct—and Obi-Wan is enjoying a very pleasant buzz between the one glass of booze he’s had and the general atmosphere rubbing off on him in the Force, particularly from his partners.

He’s currently laughing against Rex’s mouth as the former troopers attempt to hustle him off of the dance floor and—presumably—to somewhere more private, not bothering to assist with the navigation in the slightest when he could concern himself with kissing instead. Besides, he trusts them to get them where they need to go. Unquestionably so.

He hears a door shut behind them at some point and finds himself in a dark room but really could not care less where, especially with Cody pressing up against his back now and starting to trail kisses along the side of his throat—hands already seeking the waistband of the civilian trousers he’d chosen to wear.

“This is gonna have to be quick,” Cody pants against his skin, the hot air making him shiver.

“And dirty, I presume,” Obi-Wan grins, and is summarily nipped in the earlobe by a former captain for his cheek. He lets out another breathy laugh and helps his partners to divest them all of their clothes—only the bottoms, unfortunately, as they are more or less still in public—and lets himself take a moment to mourn that the lighting is too low to really see them. The two of them are both quite fetching in their outfits for tonight; Rex in a rather tight pair of jeans and an even tighter black t-shirt with his blond hair starting to grow out of the buzzcut he’d kept in the war and Cody in a nice pair of slacks and a metallic gold halter top that made his shoulders look impossibly broader—and rocking his new mustache, which he insists that he’s only ‘trying’ but Obi-Wan suspects is here to stay if for no other reason than that most of his brothers hate it.

Obi-Wan knows the exact moment that Cody has found the plug that’s been nestled securely in Obi-Wan’s ass since his shower that evening, his posture going still as his fingers brush against the gem decorating the base of it when he goes to grab a handful of Obi-Wan’s ass.

“You alright, Codes?” Rex asks between stealing kisses, noticing the pause, and at first the only response is a strangled sound but then Cody is tugging Obi-Wan’s pants the rest of the way down and off with renewed vigor and nudging his legs further apart. 

“Someone,” Cody growls, “apparently planned for this tonight.”

“Aren’t you the one always saying that it’s better to be over-prepared than under—“ Obi-Wan cuts off with an undignified yelp as Rex suddenly spins him around and pushes him up against Cody’s chest, fingers trailing down to check for themselves—

“Kriff,” Rex swears roughly. “Did you want one of us to fuck your ass tonight, sweetheart?”

It’s Obi-Wan’s turn to swear, this time, as Rex starts toying with the plug. “Well, I had rather hoped to make use of both holes, seeing as there are two of you.”

“And how’s your pretty cunt, cyare?” Cody croons, reaching down to run fingers through the lips of his pussy and grinning when he moans and grabs onto Cody’s biceps for support under the dual assault. “Hmm, well, you’re definitely getting there,” he says, “but I think we can do better.”

Obi-Wan chokes on a gasp as two fingers abruptly slide in and immediately start pumping, aided by the slick that’s already started leaking out of him. Behind him, Rex keeps playing with the plug, always threatening to pull it free but never quite doing so as he starts licking and nipping across Obi-Wan’s shoulders.

“Hey, didn’t Helix say Obi-Wan was going to have to pump and dump if he wanted to drink tonight?”

“Yeah?”

“I have a better idea.” Without further ado, Rex finally, mercifully releases the plug—only to take hold of both sides of Obi-Wan’s wrap top and pull them apart until his breasts spill out into the cool air.

Only for one of them to be suddenly engulfed in the searing we heat of Cody’s mouth before Obi-Wan fully has a chance to process what’s happening, one of Rex’s hands shifting up to cover his mouth to muffle the cries as Cody starts suckling, taking long pulls and moaning.

“Bet that pussy is nice and ready for him now, sweetheart,” Rex grins, as though they cannot both hear the squelching of Cody’s fingers fucking into him, “but I think we should let Cody have his fill first, don’t you?” Obi-Wan nods almost on autopilot, and Rex drags a kiss across his shoulder in reward. “There you go.”

It could be thirty seconds or thirty minutes later when Cody finally releases his other tit from his mouth with a wet pop, but then the former commander is stooping down to grab Obi-Wan around the thighs and lifting him up—

Ohhhhhh, Obi-Wan doesn’t think he’ll ever get over the way it feels when his partners first slide into his cunt.

Cody mercifully gives him a few moments to adjust, licking across his bottom lip before letting himself in to explore his mouth—still tasting of Obi-Wan’s milk, fuck—but then Obi-Wan realizes that it’s all a ploy to distract him and Rex is carefully pulling the plug out, not playing this time, and Cody is guiding Obi-Wan to wrap his legs around his waist and Rex’s cock is at his hole—

“Breathe, sweetheart,” Rex murmurs, taking the tender skin of Obi-Wan’s throat into his mouth and sucking a bruise there, and he draws in a deep inhale from Cody’s lungs and then Rex is pushing in—

Fuck, fuck, fuck, Obi-Wan is not going to last.

They must exchange some sort of signal over Obi-Wan’s shoulder because both of them pick up an easy rhythm at the same time, in tandem rather than in sync, and it is all Obi-Wan can do just to hold on. Force, but he forgot how good it felt to be split open like this, mounted on two of his partners’ cocks at the same time. 

They seem to agree, if the way both of them are panting harshly is any indication. He’s not sure what he and Cody are doing now could really be construed as kissing so much as breathing and moaning into each other’s mouths, but it lights his blood on fire just the same. 

“So tight, Obi-Wan, fuck,” Rex hisses, bringing both hands up to rub and squeeze at Obi-Wan’s breath as though he needs more stimulation. He’s telling Obi-Wan, Force, he swears he can feel them in his fucking throat. Perhaps he should have used another finger when he was working himself open earlier, but he has no regrets.

Over and over and over both of them keep thrusting, one withdrawing just as the other pushes in so that Obi-Wan cannot even chase the rhythm, just has to let them hold him up and take it. Cody suddenly picks up the pace, then, like he’s getting close himself, and Rex follows, and it only takes minutes more until Obi-Wan gives it up with a silent scream that is echoed by shivery grunts as they both finish inside him.

#Foelu #Foelu snippets #Foelu snippet requests #Writing #my writing

[saltygilmores]

THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS: S3/EP6: TAKE THE DEVILED EGGS (Pt 2) (This One's Gonna Be a Real Rage Inducer) (Lots Of Interesting Development Though) (So many things happening) (Salty Rambles about Jess Mariano's Birthday)

There is something to be said about Luke (on multiple occasions) readily admitting he pays Jess in ketchup packets to toil in the Coffee Mines more or less against his will. I get that it's just a part time job after school...before school..while he's cutting school..always working...never stopping...never reicieving any tips from Lorelai and Rory... Rory needs a job... Rory and Lorelai need to pay for their food... Anyway these comments shed a light on the shaky economies of small businesses in small towns which is interesting to me. Gilmore Girls is really, at it's core, a show about class. One day he could wake up to find his diner has been turned into a Dunkin Donuts (this is Not-Quite-But-Almost-New England after all, where DD is king).

Hahahahaha!! Jess stole money to buy a car and he committs attempted murder! Hahahahaaha! You're SO FUNNY LORELAI GILMORE. Your daughter stole a boat.

Yeah. And maybe back home, he did had to steal to survive sometimes. How about them apples, Lorelai Gilmore. God, do I loathe her.

Don't say that around Lorelai, I think she'd believe you were being serious.

A couple of the moots and I recently decided that in the recent past, Liz managed to land and then lose a halfway decent boyfriend/ father figure to Jess who had a car and taught Jess to drive and do repairs and some other light adulting. I honestly feel like this is the only thing that makes sense.

HE LOOKS SO GOOD IN THIS SCENE!!! Fuck meeee. Look at that li'l curl...

LOOK AT IT!!!! You know what, I'm calling it. I'm putting my foot down. This is the hottest Milo had ever looked in the entirety of seasons 2 and 3. It's that perfectly gelled hair, the jean jacket, the cool tshirt. Very James Dean. Woof. Let's see, what would I choose for second place? I have to go with the party scene in KegMax, another episode with impeccably jelled hair and a jean jacket (and even while he was apparently sick shooting that episode too). He just progresses in hotness the further season 3 marches on.

These four words "I'm still a minor" are a point of contention for me in the ongoing debate about his birth month. My beliefs: Jess is a Virgo. He was born in August or early September. This would make him just older than Rory by just a smidge. Since well over a year has passed in the show since the episode he arrived in Stars Hollow as a 17 year old (when he arrived, it was early September as Rory had just started school in that episode), he had just celebrated his birthday before arriving and so he has to have already turned 18 by this episode. However, I will consider the theory that Luke was clueless or misinformed about his age at the time he arrived (because it's not like LIz is in any way reliable with information) and he was actually 16 going on 17 when he hopped off the bus last year, and maybe he has an October or November birthday making him slightly younger than Rory. It would make sense that both missed the kindergarten cut off dates in 1989 at their respective schools (which is rock solid canon already for Rory, as she was born in October 84 but graduated in 03 instead of 02), putting them in the same grade.

Salty has put a pathetic amount of thought into this. So, how can I accept this statemen? I attribute it to the same brand of biting sarcasm that gave us "I mugged an old lady" moments ago and also because this scene doesn't make a whole lot of sense to begin with. He's still a minor, but he got his own insurance all by himself under his own name, which is not really a thing, but not his own car registration? Committing insurance fraud perhaps? Sketchy insurance company that didn't ask too many questions? He knows a guy who knows a guy who can print up some fake documents? At that point why not go all the way with the white collar crimes and forge Luke's signature on the registration too? See, Lorelai thinks Jess is a thief and murderer when he's really a white collar criminal like Taylor Doose.

My memory was certain that he produced a cigarrette and not a pen in this scene. I had to edit this post to remove a line about him smoking. I guess I confused it with the Then She Appears/ Cmurrh kissing scene, where he's also wearing a jean jacket with a popped collar. Damn. I can't wait for that scene...

Just some light fraud. If the car belonged to someone in Stars Hollow, whoever's registration he stole probably deserved it anyway. This is how I approach all "Crimes" Jess commits in Stars Hollow. There are only a few people who don't deserve it. Your honor, my client is innocent.

Oh no, the couch of doom. No good conversations ever happens between Rory and Lorelai on the couch, especially after one of them comes home at night and finds the other one on the couch. The Gilmores recieve an invitation to Sherry's baby shower. The moots and I have determined that Doula and Gigi will eventually band together to form the most powerful duo of neglected half sisters the world has ever seen. For the record, today Doula would be 17 and Gigi would be 21. Since Jess eventually comes to adopt and raises Doula she has a somewhat decent chance of coming out a well adjusted adult. At the very least, if she was stuck with TJ and Liz, Jess would still be a positive influence on her life, visit her and look out for her and make sure she didn't get sucked into any cults. The odds are a lot more grim for Gigi with Crusty and Sherry as her forever "parents" and let's face it, very likely her relationship with big sister Rory or any of the other Gilmores is non existent.

And things were so peaceful. Especially since Dean hasn't reared his ugly head in the last two episodes, either.

You flip flop with Crusty so much how can anyone possibly keep track of whether you're on the outs with him or banging him at any given time?

And by saying that out loud you're gonna tip the balance of the universe and he's going to show up. I looked ahead and although this is sadly still a Crusty-Focused episode, he doesn't actually make an appearance. Small blessings. To Lorelai's surprise, Rory admits that she's been in contact with Crusty and Lorelai is okay with it but upset that Rory was hiding it from her. God, he's such a parasite.

Emails. How quaint.

Highly debatable.

#gilmore girls #denise rewatches gilmore girls #gilmore girls season 3 #TDDE #Take the Deviled Eggs #Rory Gilmore #Lorelai Gilmore #Jess Mariano #Luke Danes #Milo Ventimiglia

[lilis-palace]

WORK-IN-PROGRESS : A Secretaire desk

Not really a guide, but can be interesting for those who would like to know how I create an object or a set. Originally I wrote this essay for a course at my uni but I translated and simplified it.

💡☝️ INSPO

The secretaire desk is an iconic piece of Biedermeier furniture. My fascination with the elegant yet straightforward style is beyond measure.

🧊🕸️ MODELLING

I used Blender for modelling. (I made it when I was still using the old 2.7 version.) The design process for the object consumed a significant amount of my time, spanning a total of three hours.

After I finish making the model, I need to do something called "unfolding." This means turning the 3D object into a 2D mesh. Once that's done, I "burn" the shadows onto it, which gives it the final look you see below.

🎨🖌️ TEXTURE

After that, I use the Sims 4 Studio program. This is where I make sure that the object looks right with its texture and I decide how it should act in the game.

To create the special intarsia effect, I use patterns that I've already prepared in Photoshop. I carefully rotate and arrange them until they fit just right. It takes a lot of time, but the final outcome is totally worth it.

🌐✨ NORMAL & SPECULAR MAP

The Normal map is really important for objects with low levels of detail. It determines how light behaves on different surfaces. With the Normal map, even a surface that looks completely smooth can actually appear uneven when light shines on it. This creates the illusion of more intricate details without slowing down the game's performance.

In the game, they use a simpler version of the Normal map called the Bump map. To make it, I use a plugin in Photoshop and save it in a specific format called .DDS. I have to tweak the channels and choose the right settings to get it just right.

When I apply the Bump map to my Biedermeier writing cabinet with shelves, it creates small shadows at the edges of the shelves when light hits the center. This makes the shelves stand out from the flat surface and adds depth to the object.

The shine of an object is controlled by the specular map. It determines how reflective the surface appears, whether it's a shiny metal, a glossy glass, or a completely matte material. By adjusting the color values, we can create different types of shine.

In this project, I want to achieve a specific type of shine that looks like wax or honey. Fortunately, I already have a template ready for this. I just need to find it and apply it to the object in the program.

📊📐SIMS 4 STUDIO SETTINGS

After that, I need to make a bunch of tweaks to make sure the object works properly in the game. It involves doing both small and big adjustments. For example, I add tags to make it easy to find in the catalog, figure out how the surface should look, find the right spots where other objects can connect to it, decide where chairs and writing surfaces should go, and more. The first picture shows how things are set up by default, while the second one shows the changes I've made.

Throughout this whole process, I have to carefully figure out the exact positions for different parts using a coordinate system. It can be a bit tiresome and take up a lot of time.

📈 💼 WORK IN PROGRESS

First, I made a work-in-progress picture. This is how I announce the new collection.

💃🎞️ GIF

In the post, there's a gif that demonstrates various color combinations. Creating this gif involves a careful and detailed process. I have to take individual photos of all 16 color combinations for each of the two cabinets. Afterward, I need to carefully match and merge these photos together. Finally, I use an online Gif maker site to edit and finalize the gif.

📷🖼️ PREVIEW PIC

I spent a good 2 hours setting up the scene, and it wasn't easy finding the right items and creating the perfect environment. Editing the image also took me another 2 hours, as I paid close attention to every little detail.

Out of the three images you see above, the first one is the default color scheme generated by the game itself. The second image, on the other hand, was created using a program called Reshade. It's an extra tool you have to install separately, and its main purpose is to change the lighting inside the game. It adds depth and creates a whole different atmosphere. As for the third image, that's what it looks like after I adjusted the colors in Photoshop. And finally, I added shadows and highlights to the image to give it a more three-dimensional and immersive feel.

I hope you enjoyed this post and see you soon. The release date of the set is tomorrow!

#guide #ts4 historical

[mimiatmidnight]

So, twelve hours post, here is my first round of thoughts:

I will never recover from all the baby clips. NEVER. RECOVER.

Doria is the classiest, most dignified person in history. That poor woman deserves a medal for what she endured so strongly.

The producers did such a fantastic job of weaving the love-storytelling in with the historical discussions and the present-day narrative. And MAN what a love story. I really thought I had a good sense of them before, but I feel so different now. I see them and their love in a new light. Which, hey, isn't that the exact point of this whole thing? So, mission accomplished. I am completely warmed and enchanted.

I especially feel I understand so much more about who they were before each other. I love how dedicated the producers were to establishing Meghan's pre-Harry personhood and just how much she lost to be with him. And I was so unspeakably moved by Harry's recounting of his relationship to the people of Lesotho and Botswana. How they took him in when he had no place he felt at home. How it fundamentally shifted his development into the man he would be become. Genuinely one of the most beautiful stories in the whole production.

Meghan is better than me because if I had to meet my future in-laws and there in my kitchen was Kate Middleton looking at me the way Kate Middleton looks at people, I would be on the next plane back to America. EXPEDITIOUSLY.

Also um can we take a sec to laugh at how Cambridge stans (esp those in the rota) are taking personal offense to Harry's cheeky but astute observation about his male relatives marrying for convenience rather than love? SO funny. I think he was very obviously talking about his parents, but hey if you wanna be like "This is so clearly about William and Kate" like . . . Ok mama, if the tiara fucking fits!!!!

Meghan is better at communicating the warm, gooey, happy parts of the story, and Harry is FAR better at communicating the serious, difficult, upsetting parts of the story -- the "shocking revelations," if you will. Meg is seemingly still struggling with this incredibly frustrating naivete surrounding their situation, and it does not come across the screen well to me. But that is a discussion for others to have, so that's all I'll say on that.

The Black historians and political commentators they brought on were absolutely critical to nailing that side of the story. Afua Hirsch was my very favorite.

I've already gotten at least one anon asking about my perspective on the addressing of Harry's SS costume. I appreciate the interest, but no. I am the granddaughter of a Holocaust survivor. My family and I have been discussing how to internalize and process Harry specifically, as well as people like him, for years now. And it's not something I'm willing to do over the internet with strangers. Sorry, but I hope you can understand.

Mandana's scene was so funny. She was like "Royal expert? You literally just made that up right now 🤨" LMAO

Ashleigh's appearance knocked me BACK omg. I'm so touched to see how they connected all those years ago, and I hope they have found a way to reconnect, away from all that sabotage.

As I posted just before, the way they are juuuuust planting the seeds for the Jason storyline to come . . . literal fucking chills.

I love that they know which photos of them are iconic. When the umbrella shot showed up I was like "Yeah they know that was history right there" 😌

Oh and showing them Meghan's old This or That interview, the producers are SO real for that kjgfhfdgfjgh

Please believe me when I tell you that I am not usually one to be all "Ohhhhh Diana ohhhhh she's looking down on them ohhhh this or that." Lol. But the clip of Archie reaching his little hand to her photo on the wall, and not to her face, which babies are neurologically wired to focus on, but to her hands. Yeah a bitch might just have teared up or whatever 🥲

I thought the whole thing was really well produced. So far, it's not the nuclear war all those panicking lil media experts were predicting. But my sense is that Volume I was very much an introduction to lay the groundwork for whatever we're about to go through in Volume II. And I cannot wait. For the time being, I am so over the moon to be granted this truly moving glimpse into what a beautiful life Harry and Meghan have built for themselves.

#meghan markle #prince harry

[romanarose]

Lights

Jackson!Joel Miller x Jewish!OFC (second person)

Join my taglist : Masterlist

Summary: Two holiday lighting traditions warm Jackson's town square and Joel's grumpy heart.

Warnings: It's mostly just fluff lmfaooo at most theres a scene where Esther is thinking about the outbreak, she mentions the holocaust and other antisemetic violence in the real world and antisemitism i just kinda made up in TLOU. It just seemed realistic.

Immersability: Labled as OFC but told in second person. This is my take on "Esther" who Tommy tries to set Joel up with between TLOU 1 and 2. No description other than name, fem, and Jewish.

Support writers, reblog and comment!

*****************

“This is stupid” Joel muttered to himself. He was too old for this. Nearing 60 was an insane age to be asking a woman on a date. Joel knew Tommy had been trying to push them together and at first, Joel was not at all interested… but it was hard not to fall for you. Whatever, it couldn’t hurt, right?

Your front door opened, and you were clearly startled to see Joel there, but not disappointed at least. “Oh! Joel? What are you doing here?”

“Shit, sorry, didn’t mean to scare yuh, was justa ‘bout to knock.”

“It’s okay.” You relax. “Can I help you with something?”

You were so sweet. “Well, yeah I actually wanted to ask yuh…” Joel hesitated. This was so stupid. Why was he so fucking nervous? “Well the town’s christmas tree light’n ceremony is in a few days and um, well, I was hope’n maybe you’d wanna go?” He paused. “With me, I mean.”

Softly, you smiled at him, but you were taking way too long to answer. He prepared himself for rejection, because anything other than an enthusiastic yes was bound to be a disaster. “That’s very sweet of you, but, I’m Jewish, actually.”

Oh. That was new. He didn’t know tha. Joel realized he operated under the assumption that everyone was either christian by practice or by culture. Not that he didn’t think other religions still existed but he was just a small town southern man at heart. Not exactly a think outside the box type of man, and Jackson only had the one preacher after all, a vague non-denominational type. Act normal. “Well, uh, that’s great” Dumbass. He watched your lip quirk up a little. “Well, the ceremony isn’t really a religious thing.”

Relaxing, you lean up against your dorm frame. You cross your arms but not unwelcomingly. “You’re tell’n me the old preacher man ain’t gonna say a few ords about the miracle of the birth of a Messiah I don’t believe in?”

Joel felt a little stupid, and worried he’d offended you. Looking down, he scoffed his boot a bit and started his apology tour. “No, no yer right, miss, I wasn’t think’n. I apoligize, I didn’t mean to- well, I didn’t wanna be rude about yer religion and… and all that.” All that? Get it fucking together, Joel. “I’m sorry, miss, I’ll be going-”

“Joel.” You stop him, a teasing smile on your face remaining kind. “It’s alright, you didn’t offend me, honey.” You sigh, then stand up. “Listen, normally I’d just go. I like town stuff and lights are pretty, and it’d just ignore the preach’n like I did when I was in high school. But, the day of the ceremony is the first night of Hanukkah, and I ain't even got a menorah to light, ain’t for decades. Would feel wrong to light up someone else’s religion when I can’t even celebrate mine, you know?”

Joel couldn’t say he quite got it. He was raised southern baptist of course but hasn’t really kept up outside of obligatory holidays. He had Sarah baptized, but didn’t pray for years since she died, save for the moment he had the gun to his head, praying God would take him to where she was… He’d prayed a few times here and there, sometimes when Ellie or Tommy were in danger, and last winter when his nephew, Jack was deathly sick as a newborn. Yeah, he’d bow his head during services but he really only went because Tommy asked him to make an appearance sometimes, said it was good for Jack to see his family at church. Ellie didn’t go, churches and prayers making her uncomfortable now.

Still, just because he wasn’t religious doesn’t mean it wasn’t important. It clearly was to Tommy. “I get it, I’ll leave yuh be then.” He turned to leave.

“Hey Joel?”

“Yes ma’am?”

“I’d love to take you up on your offer to another event.”

*

Joel had promised to make good on that, but already he was formulating a plan in his head. It hadn’t really occurred to him how down bad he was for you, how much wanted you, to hold you, to kiss you, to- He shook his head. 

“Maria?” Joel called as he let himself in.

She rounded the corner holding his almost 3 year old godson. “Sure Joel, come on in.” Maria said sarcastically, but smiled.

“Gimmie” Joel made grabby hands to Jack.

Maria continued her sarcasm. “Hi Joel, I’m great, thank you for asking.”

“Sorry.” He didn’t look too sorry as he lit up when Jack dove out of his moms arms to him.

“Unca Jojo!!!” He squealed.

“Heya buddy!” He cringed when he got a whiff of him. “Jesus, Jack Jack, you stink!”

Maria nudged Joel to the bathroom. “You can change him, since you’re so excited to see him. And watch you language, you know how Tommy feels about that.”

Maria and Joel side eye each other a look. The pair had found common ground over the years. They both cared about Jackson, both loved Tommy and would do anything for Jack. However, recently, him and Maria had come to more than just an understanding, they’d actually begun to like each other, bonding over Tommy’s “come to Jesus” episode. Maria was decidedly not religious, but not athiest. Joel often found himself searching for Maria’s eyes when Tommy did or said something, and he often found them already smiling at him. Tommy had a rule against swearing and using the lord's name in vain around Jack, which Joel tried to respect.

“Where’s Tommy?” Joel asked.

“Oh, I see you remember your dear brother all of a sudden.” She teased him. “He’s upstairs, I’ll go gab him-”

“Actually, I came to see you.”

“Oh. Everything alright?”

“Can’t I see my dear sister-in-law without something being wrong?”

She simply cocked an eyebrow at him. 

“Fine, fine. But no, noth’n’s wrong. I just wanted to ask you, since you were a big city woman and all that. More knowledgeable than this small town hick.” Joel referenced himself. 

“Hick!” Jack repeated excitedly as Joel tugged on a new pull up. “Hickie! Hickie! Hickie!”

Maria laughed. “You’re explaining Jack’s new word to Tommy.”

Joel smiled, pulling up his pants. “That’s what uncles are for.”

“Whaddya wanna ask?” They exited the bathroom.

“Do you know anything about judaism?”

Maria burst into an uncharacteristically loud laugh, then called up the stairs. “Tom! You win! I owe you a foot rub!”

“Ew.” Joel grimances. “What could you possibly put on the line to touch his nasty feet. You know he got athletes food so bad he permanently lost two two nails right?”

“Yes Joel, we’re married. I’ve seen his feet. Believe it or not, I’ve even seen him naked.”

Joel gagged. “What the bet? Or do I not wanna know.”

“Tommy was insistent he could get you and Esther today if he played his cards right.”

“How do you know this is about Esther?”

“How many Jewish people do you know in Jackson?”

“Until an hour ago, none.”

“You though a woman named Esther was a gentile?”

“My named Joel, that Hebrew.”

“Fair enough.”

Tommy skipped down the stairs, not as fast as he might have been years ago but still that spring in his step Joel hoped he’d never lose. “Heya Joel! You finally ask Esther out?” He smiled broadly, that shit eating grin he always had when he thought he was right. Tommy reached out his arms for Jack, but Jack stayed with Joel.

“Yeah, and I looked like a fucking idiot.”

“Nothing out of the ordinary their! What did you do, bring up slaughtering an entire hospit-” Maria smacked Tommy and he stopped.

“No.” Joel emphacized, glaring at Tommy. “I asked her to go to the christmas tree lighting, and she told me she was Jewish and it was hanukkah, and now I look like a fucking backwards hick and she probably hates me and-”

Maria pinched the bridge of her nose. “She doesn’t hate you.”

He shrugged. “Maybe not. She did say she’d like to go out another time but that was probably to get me off her porch.”

“You anxiety ridden idiot.”

“I don’t have anxiety!”

“Sure, your goddamn panic attacks are for fun-”

Tommy snatched his son out of Joel’s arms. “Hey! Language!”

Joel and Maria apologized, and Tommy took Jack to the kitchen table to feed him a snack.

“What did you need help with, Joel” Maria asked him, bringing Joel back to the original purpose of his visit.

“What the fuck is a menorah.”

“JOEL!” Tommy glared at him, and Jack started muttering fuck, fuck, fuck as Maria and Joel tried to stiffle a laugh, glancing at each other.

*

It was a few days later as you watched the sun setting from your back window. You couldn’t do much, but you had managed to make a few traditional treats, latkes and friend donuts. Hanukkah didn’t need fancy meals, but oily food, traditionally. Still, you wished you could do more. Over the last 20 years, survival had been the primary thing on your mind. There wasn’t time to celebrate holidays when you were barely alive. How do you observe Shabbat when every single day requires hard work just to make it through? When you settled into Jackson this year, you slowly began begging able to observe more and more, but it wasn’t like the small Wyoming town had a Jewish population. You were the only Jew you knew, but it wasn’t like you were super obvious about it.

You didn’t really hide it, but it wasn’t something you shouted from the rooftops. When everything fell apart, you quickly learned that conspiracies in the QZ’s spread that the outbreak was a Jewish conspiracy, that the governments were ran by Jews, so on and so forth. You learned to keep that part of you quiet after your window got shot out for having a Star of David displayed. Jackson seemed safe, but you couldn’t be so sure. 

Still, your people’s story was one of survival in the most extreme of circumstances, and the outbreak was no exception. You endured and survived, just like Jew’s had through the holocaust, through a myriad of attempted genocides, including the survival of one you are celebrating now, menorah or not. As you fry a few more latkes, you hear a knock on the door. Strange, considering you didn’t get visitors much and you figured everyone would be at the town square.

 Last person over had been Joel, actually, and your heart fluttered at the memory. You desperately hoped he’d ask you out again. From the moment he walked into Jackson you fell for him. The obvious love he had for his brother, the way he protected a child that wasn’t his own… adoption was a great mitzvah, something you admired strongly about him. He was a good man, hard working, cared for his community and his family. And insanely hot. You doubted he’d have much interest in you, considering the amount of women who wanted him… the fact he wanted to ask you out verses someone younger just sealed to you the kind of man he was.

When you opened the door, you were thrilled to see that same man at your door again. 

“Hey Joel, what’s up?” You ask, wishing you didn’t sound so fucking stupid. He had something behind his back you couldn’t quite see. 

“Hi.” Joel smiled, nervous. “I um… well I wanted to say Happy Hanukkah and um… bring you this. I hope I ain’t over stepping but Maria said it would be fine but, what does she know, right?” He laughed nervously, still not showing you what he brought and still not meeting you’re eye. “So, if it’s inappropriate just tell me and I’ll fuck right off-”

“What is it?”

He took a deep breath, then held out the hand he had been hiding.

“Joel…” Your heart sores, touched beyond belief. He made you a menorah.

“I um, I welded it… Maria told me the basics. Brought candles too, I dunno if its supposed to be blessed by a rabbi or made from a certain metal or-”

You nearly tackle him in a hug. “Joel! That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me!”

It took him a moment to react, but soon Joel was hugging you back. You invite him inside, and he doesn’t want to intrude, but you tell him you’d love the company for the holiday.

*

Years and years ago, a cousin of Joel and Tommy got married to a catholic woman. Some of his family was weird about it, but Tommy and Joel thought that was stupid, so they drove the 10 hours as teenagers to go to the wedding to make a point. It was different to be sure, but something that stood out to Joel was the use of latin. Although he couldn’t understand a lick of it outside of hallelujah, 19 year old Joel thought there was something so beautiful in its use.

He felt that was as he watched you light the first candle on the menorah, saying the prayers in Hebrew. The fact you still could was vastly impressive to him. There were years where sometimes he swore he’d forgotten English, avoiding talking as much as possible. You looked so beautiful he could kiss you right there.

You shared so much with him that evening. Little pieces of your life, the story of Hanukkah, these yummy potato pancakes things… he was absolutely enthralled.

“Oh!” You gasp, looking outside. “The tree lighting! You don’t wanna miss it!”

“I’d rather be here with you, if that’s alright.”

You smile sweetly. “Won’t Ellie miss you?”

Joel rolls his eyes a little and waves his hand. “Nah, she’s got her own friend group now. Attached at the hip to that Dina girl. She don’t need this old man anymore.”

“That’s not true.” He was joking, but you wanted him to know. “She’s always gonna need her dad.”

“I ain’t her dad.” But it didn’t sound like he believed it. He held his hot chocolate in hand, looking down at it

You reach out, gently touching where his hand warmed at the base of the mug. “You are in every way that counts. You love her, and you take care of her. Blood don’t matter when you put up a shelf in her room or cook her dinner or make her eat her vegetables. You’re her dad.”

Joel smiled, looking up at you again. “It’s nice be’n here. With you.”

“I like have’n you here.”

“Maybe after Hanukkah I can make good on my promise to take you out? Jackson ain’t exactly known for its downtown restaurant scene, but I can take you dance’n, if that’s something you’d like.”

Your feel the heart palpitations, making you giddy as a young girl with a crush again. Joel made you feel like a teenager, like all the age, all the trauma, all the horrors washed away.

“I’d like that a lot.”

********************

I know this one isnt gonna go anywhere bc anything with readersreligion being specified isn't super popular, and theres no smut, but its okay <3 it's special to meeeeee

if you are looking for more jewish content, check out Seattle series on my marc spector masterlist for a emotional but sweet marc story of finding love, his religion and his family again <3

@fandxmslxt69 @runa-falls @k-ra @whatthefishh @ahookedheroespureheart @mikaelak @littlenosoul @stevenandmarcslove @pikapuff-316 @del-ightfulling @faretheeoscar @harriedandharassed @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @campingwiththecharmings @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @milly-louise @neverwheremoonchild @winniethewife @casa-boiardi @joeldjarin

#joel miller #joel miller tlou #the last of us #tlou #tlou 2 #joel miller x ofc #joel miller fluff #the last of us fluff #jewish reader #hanukkah #hanukkah fanfiction #hanukkah special

[elderflowergin]

blood free v secret forest, a quick and dirty comparison:-

As someone who fell for Kdrama through Stranger, i loved it because it appeared seamless, grounded and weaved several systems and levels of privilege very elegantly. Most of all it seemed morally urgent, even if it was at its core a detective mystery. (Which, to be fair, Blood Free is as well.)

Secret Forest’s first success was that it held nuance for everyone in the middle of the road; LSY afforded so much thoughtful shading to those men. I often think they will never look as beautiful as they do on SF, and that’s only partly because of whoever did the lighting etc, but they’re not Kdrama glossy perfect; they’re real people trying to reckon with themselves and the moral calculus they have agreed to, and their dignity comes from the reckoning. Lee Chang-joon, Kang Won-chul, Lee Yeon-jae, even Seo Dong-jae for that matter, all have that advantage. LSY managed this for Jung Sung-il in the scant few minutes of screen time he had.

The second success was Cho Seung-woo and Bae Doona. If Secret Forest was a universe they were its gravitational field; it was their fierce sense of honour and morality that drives both seasons. And their moral decency is hard-won; it is tested constantly, and it’s burnished at each opportunity, which is why they are respected. It is a dream that people like that can influence or impact those around them, but you don’t question that they do, by the end of each season, and that’s the victory of writing, casting and the charisma of both leads.

That’s why that funeral scene in season 1 is so important (to me); it shows the gravity shifting. The prosecutors rely on their forest of secrets to keep the centre together, but Hwang Si-mok demonstrates how untenable this has become, how the roots must be pulled out so the weeds die; so new healthy things can grow. The chaebols are at the periphery, and they continue to be there because, most audaciously of all, they don’t matter if enough people shift their moral calculus. I think this gravitational pull happens to Lee Chang-joon in season 1 thanks to Hwang Si-mok and it happens to Choi Bit in season 2 thanks to Han Yeo-jin. They are easily some of the most powerful parts of the show.

On the other hand, we have Blood Free. I’m not sure who the moral gravitational field of this show is meant to be. Maybe it’s Yun Ja-yu and/or Woo Chae-woon. Maybe it’s Lee Mu-saeng. Maybe it’s about the ethical dilemma of experimentation and whether that’s a worthwhile price to pay for the scientific advancements in cultured meat and seafood. Perhaps we need more time to really see the middle of the road characters, but four episodes in there’s not much to go on: there’s Lee Mu-saeng, there’s Queen Dowager as a VP, here’s Jeon Seok-ho. There are three chaebols, all of whom seem like one-note characters to me. (Why ask a talented sketch artist to produce cartoons like these? Unless they’re not, but nothing seems to suggest otherwise.)

The most interesting insight from episode 4 was about Yun Jayu - when offered 72 trillion won for her company, she actually considers it because it means she doesn’t have to face investors and can focus on research. She has influence and money but these are means to an end, for her. I wish we could see more of that, and not necessarily through exposition alone.

When she gives deft, cool answers to reporters, did that come naturally to her or did she work at it? Is she the face of the company because she hated it a little less than Lee Mu-saeng did? If so, why? What comparative advantage did they determine she had? When she wears Chanel tweed skirts and smiles her way through presentations, is that a natural extension of her work or is that a mask she wears? Give me process, guys! Give us the backstory, the way the markets work, the environment for cutting-edge bio research in Korea, the reaction of Big Meat, the interplay of new rich and old rich, some indication of her actual influence (which must be considerably more than what we see on the show, although what little we see, while uncomfortable, is frankly not that inconceivable in a world where you’re constantly connected.) I am so interested in her, and yet I feel I am made to watch the story of her reacting to chaebols and to the mystery of corporate sabotage rather than her being the fulcrum of her own universe. And at no point does the mystery seem morally urgent to me, and it’s because 1) why does it matter if all this is is a giant M&A negotiation 2) why should we care if it doesn’t feel real to us? So what if there’s sabotage? Why on earth isn’t this company guarded like fucking Fort Knox? Why is this company ostensibly so influential, so powerful and yet capable of unusually amateurish errors that are the centre of the show so far and not on the periphery of it? Where is the moral quandary that is meant to grab us by the throat?

Is it a question of the writing? Have her interests shifted and did she want to do a show without having to do too much character work? If anyone has earned a vibes-only moment it’s Lee Soo-yeon, and I respect that for her. I hope the direction isn’t stifling the writing, because that means there is an arresting, politically trenchant drama underneath this dry procedural, and that’s upsetting to consider. We still have a ways to go and I think there is potential, but I have to remind myself not to expect something like SF, that maybe you can’t bottle that formula. That it’s the gold standard for a reason. But honestly, Disney, in the words of TikTok star imo_unusual, you’ve made this show like God was dozing off when the angels were working, now RELEASE US (and LSY writernim)

#sorry i didn’t finish life #and I didn’t include grid in the analysis #although that’s a good comparison to make too #but kudos to whoever costumed hhj #and gave her that expensive overcoat #that looks exactly like a doctor’s coat but in rich black #costuming is the only dept that has not been interfered with #blood free #tvn stranger

[sensei-venus]

A Better Halloween~ (1/2)

(Slightly unedited) ( Alternate version of the Halloween dance) (Bullying,Bullying Behavior, Mentions of Kyler being a bully, Kissing, Oral fixation, Scar kink, Pre-Hawk phase) ( @gemini-sensei )

The Halloween dance was something met that bugged Reader to high heavens. She would rather be at home doing her own thing, watching scary movies on her couch wall eating leftover candy her parent bought. A night all alone to herself. The talk around school about the stupid dance just made her roll her eyes. She wanted to just forget about it and stay home.

That was until she heard Demetri’s loudmouth in one of the classes they shared. He was talking to the Diaz kid about how he and Eli were going to go to the dance, inviting Diaz to join them at the dance.

She perked up at the mention of Eli.

Her favorite little toy, she loved messing with the runt.

Eli was so stupid to the fact that she liked him or maybe he was just that scared of her. She picked on him as much as possible, doing little things to mess with him, to keep him on edge. Kyler may have liked getting in his face, picking him up, and touching on him. Reader liked doing things like taking his stuff and throwing things at him. Pushing him in the hallways against the lockers. She liked to tease him to the point he went red in the face and he looked like he was about to cry.

That's why when she heard he was going to the dance she just had to go.

It was her chance to play with him.

The dance was overcrowded, and most of the school had shown up to the surprising event. Most of the time the older students would blow this thing off, going to real parties where they could get high and drink all night. Have sex in rooms at B list asshole popular kids summer home. She scoffed at the idea, shitty rich kids.

Walking into the dimly lit gym was interesting. The room was full of teenagers dancing and grinding against one another, they shitty lights did little to help see through most of the place. Music was only slightly loud and you could still hear the groups of people scattered around the gym talking.

Reader looked though the crowd trying to find the only person she was interested in, the only reason she had bothered to show up to this stupid thing anyway, Eli.

She spotted him as she moved around the room and through the crowed of kids. She pushed past a group of the population students, she rolled her eyes at them as they looked at her funny and whispered to one another as age passed them. She really didn't feel like making a scene tonight. She just wanted to find Eil and get away from everyone.

She wanted to get Eli all alone so she could finally get what she wanted from him.

That was a fun time and just maybe a cute little boyfriend.

She found him next to Demetri and Miguel, all three of them talking about something. She waited until Miguel and Demetri went off towards the snack table, most likely to get something to drink. This left Eli alone and unprotected. Just what she wanted. She smirked to herself as she made her way over. Walking up behind him she put her hands over his eyes making him yelp and stumble, she laughed as she said: “Guess who buddy.” She felt him gulp down a big thing of air. His body pressed into her front. Spinning him around he froze in place and just stared at her with wide scared eyes. He had the most beautiful blue eyes she had ever seen if she was being honest.

She grabbed his arm and pulled him alongside her as they left the gym. She guided him through the empty hallways of the school until they got to the one room she was looking for. It was an old art room. They had long since abandoned the room and only used it for storage, the glass panel was blacked out with old construction paper. Lucky for Reader, she was a great art student and the art teacher had given her an extra key to the room so that she could help store some of the old artwork from the new classroom in it. She never gave the key back. She unlocked the door and quickly shoved Eli in with no hesitation.

She smiled as she closed the door behind them and locked it.

Eli shivered as he looked at the girl in front of him.

Reader always had a way about her that made his heart race a little faster and his breathing goes shallow.

She wasn’t as bad as Kyler but she definitely up in the ranks of people who bullied him.

Before he could try and move she was already in front of him gripping at his face mask before yanking it off along with his surgeon hat. He watched as she looked up at him, her eyes fluttering in the soft light from the windows. The moonlight cast a glint that bounced on her eyes, she was actually pretty when she was this close up.

He wanted to rear back when he felt her warm hand on his cheek, her fingers ghosting over his flushed cheeks. He wondered if she was going to say something, insult him and call him names. He couldn't imagine her beating him up like Kyler usually did. Her fingertips lightly ran over his lip and over his scar. He cringed, this was stupid, she was just going to make fun of his lip and scar. That's all she was going to do.

“Why do you have to be so fucking cute with your little lip? It's not fair.”

Then there was wet heat on his lip and over his scar and his eyes went wide.

She was licking across his lips and up to his most and before long she was sucking on his top lip. He felt frozen. His butt hit the back of a table as she caressed his cheeks, her thumbs making light circles on the hollows of his cheeks. He felt warm and his belly fluttered.

He shouldn’t be feeling this way about his bully, but he was. His heart was beating fast and loud to the point he could hear it in his ears. She smelled nice too warm and sweet like candy. He wondered if maybe she had been eating something before she got to the dance like chocolate. Her tongue lapped over his mouth and he just let her but before long she was kissing him right on the mouth. He moaned into the kiss as he let her guide him. Her lips were soft and plump against his.

Maybe deep down he wanted to kiss her all along.

Maybe just maybe he just needed a big push to actually do it.

#cobra kai #cobra kai blog #cobra kai ask blog #cobra kai hawk #cobra kai hawk x reader #hawk x reader #eli hawk moskowitz #hawk #hawk moskowitz #cobra kai x reader #reader insert #cobra kai x plus size reader #cobra kai x chubby reader #eli moskowitz #eli moskowitz headcanons #eli moskowitz x chubby reader #eli moskowitz smut #eli moskowitz x reader #cobra kai eli #eli hawk moskowitz headcanons