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#Its issue 3 so Im still giving it a chance (I will keep reading no matter what if Peacemaker keeps showing up.) but
The other thing about this Doom Patrol I dont like is all the allegory shit. Thats part of why the name scene not involving a trans character bothered me. We had Kate Godwin show up in the 90s and be a actual trans woman and now in 2023 were having the “respect peoples chosen names!” conversation with characters in supernatural situations only. Not even fucking Chief or anyone else in Jane’s system mentioned for that one, other characters with real world stuff that would be good for that conversation. I dont know man
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greenboyfriend · 6 months
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pick an image! (tarot card reading)
image source ❁ image 1: an aged, leather book, with many, many pages. it makes you wonder what's inside, but due to its thickness, maybe it doesn't... ❁ image 2: a pleasant smile in the hands of gods. overlapping colorful wings form a small space in the middle. if you threw this at the wall, it'd definitely leave an imprint. ❁ image 3: a mysterious brass key. to what does its dainty swirls open? no one knows but you! how do I pick? everyone has their own method of getting in touch with their intuition. for me, when I know it's right, I feel a lightness in my chest, and when it's wrong, a pit in my stomach. don't think too much about it. whichever you choose will be right! BOOK A READING THRU DM/ASK!
1.・。.・゜✭
boy howdy, y'all.
you see the change you need to make, and yet you're still resisting? maybe you're scared of what this change will bring, but in your stagnancy, you're missing an opportunity for growth. the most important thing is that you tell the truth. right that wrong-- let everyone know what's really happening. whatever your reason for inaction might be, know that you do, in fact, possess the strength to overcome your issue(s), no matter how much you think you don't. you've already reached a major milestone, too, so why keep yourself in a box? reap that reward. you worked for it, after all! this important change will have to do with you clearing the air, speaking articulately, and being sure that you share the absolute, honest truth. consider a direction change. sure, what's gotten you here has worked wonders, but what will get you to your next goal? don't be afraid to try new things!
(7 of pentacles reversed, ace of swords reversed, king of swords, four of pentacles)
2.・。.・゜✭
whadda hell? such similar cards and yet such distinct meanings...
unlike those who chose image 1, you have not yet reached your goal. but don't worry! you're almost there!! you've just got to keep trying... easier said than done, right? it seems like you really want to give up, or are doubting yourself. this is a strong energy-- maybe you've been hurt in the past because of a similar situation, so you're refusing to acknowledge what's happening at all. maybe you don't believe in your own strength, but know that it is there. you've come all this way-- think of this as one more hurdle to jump before you take a lunch break. and what a wonderful lunch it will be, indeed!!! something that will be important will be finding out what's real and what's not. break up this complicated situation into segments and slowly analyze how all the pieces fit together. try to remain objective during this process, it is important for your future success. and finally, the scariest hurdle of all: simply having fun! you don't need to be guarded all the time, and maybe that's the lesson you're tackling right now. there's a very strong vibe of "recapturing innocence", in the (inno-) sense that you must shed the learned, knee-jerk responses of heartache. in order to feel better, you must let yourself free, but don't worry; your heart will always come back to you. don't let your inhibitions stop you from living the life you want to... need to....... deserve to live!!! so take that crazy chance and engage in unadulterated, unfiltered, unstoppable whimsy. this will be the key that takes you to new heights!!!
(ace of swords reversed-- this hoe really jumped out of the deck to see you. say hi..., the fool, 7 of pentacles reversed, king of swords)
3.・。.・゜✭
okay so everyone's going through it. okay
god damn. y'all really need a hug, a hot cup of cocoa, and a cat in your lap, because fuck!!! you're experiencing a betrayal. deserted in your time of need, you're left to wander far, far away from home... you will find happiness in trying new things and keeping your head up, but don't let discovery be your excuse to neglect your needs. above all else, you need to heal. this will be a time of balancing these two things: trying out new developments and changes, while also healing your emotional wounds. you may be more interested in the former than the latter. you may feel like you're too weak to face this pain, but know that hard times help redefine the person you are. it's easy to wave it all away and throw all your energy into what's new, but what will really matter when you're 75 and looking back on your life is how you treated yourself during this time. did you dutifully lick your wounds, tending to yourself as you wish someone else would? or did you discard yourself in the same way you discarded your feelings? it's a tough ask, and a bit shocking to think about, I know. but imagine looking back and feeling pride in how well you managed things, the comfort gained-- almost magically-- from yourself, and the good it did you. okay, okay im getting off my soapbox now! just know you're headed towards good things. it may be a long process, so be brave, and steady. take breaks! drink water! stand motionless in the shower for 30 minutes, it's ok if that's what you need to do cause guess what?!?! you deserve to be taken care of, especially by yourself!!!
(3 of swords reversed, ace of swords reversed, 2 of pentacles, 6 of swords reversed)
lots and lots and LOTS of love for all of you silly little geese. I wish the absolute best for you! although I don't need to hope for the best... because I know all of you will prevail!!! simply because ur interested in what ur intuition seeks to teach you. please accept my kind words even if im a stranger on the internet! please know you deserve every tender moment that life has to offer and more, because you're just a motherfucker who's out here trying their best, just like most everyone else, and oh my god no matter what anyone tells you that is enough!!!!!!! sorry. I got back on the soapbox. BUT ITS TRUE!!!
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akai-anna · 5 months
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HEY THERE MY LOVELY MUTUAL <3 <3 (I love when you reblog and queue my posts ur actually amazing ily so much I love reading your tags hugs hugs hugs <3 <3 <3 im in love, giggling kicking my feet everyday)
SAW THE CHARACTERS OPINION BINGO U REBLOGGED 👍 I GOTCHU
TAKAGI. BABY BOI OF DCMK (I remember seeing a poll rolling around somewhere about the most dcmk baby girl and Takagi won)
I will also have to have to ask you about Kaito HAHAH (my fav blorbo i will admit)
ok the thing is im from australia. choose an australian animal of your choice bc i am Intrigued. im not too sure how the bingo would translate though hahahah I don't think it would work very well
(feel free to also ask me anything or talk to me and about this bingo too >v0 b)
wait you know what i forgot LOL WE GOTTA HAVE THE PROTAGONIST DUO SHIN/CONE AS WELL. PLS
*LIGHTS UP LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE* MY DEAR MUTUAL, HI CYN, HELLO!!!!
Firstly: WE'VE NEVER TALKED BEFORE BUT LET ME TELL YOU, I WAS (still am) SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT WHEN I SAW YOU SEND IN AN ASK! Yes, I keep track and i'm always happy to see you in my activity and my dash! (I'm also really happy to see we mutually share that feeling; I relate to the giggling kicking feet sentiment a lot.) I'm happy to have this chance to interact with you, in a sense, face to face! Bless you, darling, and I'm sending hugs right back at you.
Secondly: YOU HAVE EXCELLENT TASTE AND YOU HAVE MY ETERNAL ADORATION ESPECIALLY FOR ONE TAKAGI WATARU, he always needs more love, I FREAKING ADORE THAT MAN.
Thirdly: warning notes apply, as stated in previous asks:
I tend to interpret things liberally: only my own rules apply, which means ->
I check everything that makes sense to me, even if they might seem contradictory
The Character Opinion Bingo in question
Prepare for endless ranting. And as a certain someone says: さあショーの始まりだ わ!
I. Takagi Wataru
The Babygirl and Malewife of My Heart Personal Special Tag: #takagi is a good man
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Points that I feel need a little elaboration:
I am so normal about them: I use the word "normal" as a synonym for "utterly obsessed with" and "absolutely love and adore". (I don't like the word in itself, hence, the only context I use it in, is this. But that is another story.)
*puts them in a salad spinner*: as in, the salad spinner is my brain, and he keeps rotating in it at high centrifugal force.
Canon isn't real if I don't look at it and That's a solid design right there: Detco Canon is... As much as I love it, I think we can agree it has its shortcomings/issues, and one of them is coming up. These two points go hand in hand at this moment because LOOK AT HIM!!! LOOK AT HIM!!! THIS MAN IS A BABY!!! LOOK AT HIM, HE'S PERFECT!!! THE SPIKY HAIR!!! THE SHAPES!!! THE COLOUR PALETTE!!! HE'S SO CUTE!!
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I resonate with this particular video: his new design in the anime (partly thanks to the general Square-and-Pointy-fication) is just... THEY HAD THE PERFECT MAN. IT'S A CRIME. Bless that he is at least still cute in the manga, even if not the same way as in the early anime. The sharp cheekbones and soft looking hair have their charm.
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My point is: THIS!!!! MAN!!! IS!!! A BABY!!!!
Literally I would kiss them and I want to BITE them: he makes me go FERAL with LOVE, and makes me feel like I want to gnaw on something or eat a whole fridge or scream endlessly into a pillow. I wouldn't do it to HIM (I'll leave that to Satou Miwako), but generally, the feeling is there. (Okay, I'll be honest, I would totally give him forehead, cheek, or hair kisses.)
To close his section, have one of my favourite bits about this Baby Of A Man. That poll was absolutely right about him, THE ULTIMATE BABYGIRL (and Malewife TM).
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II. Kuroba Kaito/Kaitou KID
The Local Mischief and Chaos Bringer Personal Special Tag: #the magical agent of chaos
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LOL I DIDN'T EXPECT TO GET A BINGO, EVEN WITH THE FREE SPACE HAHA
Some points are the same as for Takagi, but here is elaboration on the ones that don't match:
Bastard, A Beast Unleashed and They didn't get bullied enough: let's be real. He's an Absolute Menace. And I sort of love that about him. Highly competent (competency makes me go weak), and if that is not scary (and hot) I don't know what. And sometimes he also goes too far (lifting skirts is not okay at all, Kaito) and needs someone to put a leash on him (or kick a soccer ball at him/chase him in a classroom). I feel that sometimes he needs a bit of bullying a challenge, to think about things. And again, honesty: I love seeing him suffer a bit, I love his Panic Moments LOL. Not in a mean way. But I also love how kind he is; the baseball chapter in the MK manga has my heart, and the Clock Tower Heist, and the Red Tear chapter... Not to mention the Nightmare arc. He cares about people and making others happy. I feel I went on a tangent here. Onto the bastard bit: he CAN BE SUCH A BASTARD AND I LOVE THAT ABOUT HIM TOO. Two of my favourite bits of Bastardry from him include 1) HOW HE DISGUISED AS RAN AND HOW HE BAITED SHINICHI AT THE VERY END OF THAT ENCOUNTER and 2) THE WAY HE SENDS SHINICHI CAREENING IN THE SIDECAR LIKE IT'S NOTHING (but also Shinichi getting right back at him and setting fire to the fckin fuel.) Pure Bastard Energy.
I want their gender: I love the way he is just so free-spirited about how he dresses/disguises. And I love the thought of him and Aoko doing outfit swaps (I blame that competition in MK for these. Also look at these delightful posts on the topic).
Canon isn't real if I don't look at it: I have... issues, with canon, you could say. Like the way he has no support system, especially bothers me. I would like to see his character treated with more care (be it MK or DetCo). I live for good character development, and I crave that for him.
To close this section, have one of my favourite conversations between these two menaces of nature.
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⊱✿⊰
III. Australian Animal of Choice: Koala
Fun fact: I've been in love with koalas ever since I got a keyholder plushie from relatives in Australia when I was like... in kindergarten? Or early elementary? Also don't worry, *puts on sunglasses* I wouldn't have mentioned animals, if I thought I couldn't work with them.
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Elaboration is needed here I feel.
I am so normal about them: I'm not as obsessed as I used to be but I'm eternally fond of koalas. Did you know their fingerprints are so similar to us they could be mistaken for human fingerprints? Or how they spend most of their time sleeping because the eucalyptus they consume is toxic? Or how they can actually swim well? Or how they are literally surviving by being Dumb As Shit because Being Dumb Saves Energy? Yeah, I'm totally normal about them.
*projects onto them like a mf* and I want their gender: Oh to be a koala, just existing, sleeping, sometimes waking up to eat some eucalyptus, then going right back to sleep. I want that.
That's a solid design right there: HAVE YOU SEEN THEM? SO FLUFFY LOOKING!!! WITH BIG CLAWS!!! THE BIG NOSE!!! SO SHAPED!!! NOT TO MENTION THE EARS!!!
They are so silly and They Sure Do Exist: how did this animal even come into existence? Weird lil creatures. THEY ARE JUST SO SILLY. THE NOISES THE MAKE. Like oh my god.
Literally I would kiss them: THEY JUST LOOK SO SOFT, HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME NOT TO BURY MY FACE IN THE FUR?
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IV. Kudou Shinichi/Edogawa Conan
*Prof Agasa voice* He has many nicknames, like Gremlin Child, Absolute Menace, Ultimate Baby, Lil Nerd, Walking Encyclopedia Son, or Disaster Child. I think I call him as many names as I do my dear Rosie, so that is quite telling LMAO Personal Special Tag: #the detective gremlin
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HDSBSKDB DOUBLE BINGO (AND ALMOST 4 BC HE'S ALSO DET'S FAV, SO ALMOST CROSSED OUT PROXY TOO KSJNVKSVNJS OK, my love for him is showing, I guess)
EDIT: FCKIN TRIPLE BINGO AS @vampirecatsw POINTED OUT oh my god, I'm blind
Again, some thoughts on relevant bits.
*projects onto them like a mf*: THIS CHILD IS SO FCKIN NEURODIVERGENT, AND I FCKIN RELATE, ALSO HE LOVES AND CARES SO DEEPLY IT HURTS AND I RELATE SO HARD.
A Beast Unleashed: another MENACE OF NATURE. You cannot let him roam free, he finds trouble like it's Breathing. Also love it when he goes ballistic. Or when he shows how competent he is. Like GOD. HE'S AMAZING, and he's a danger to criminals and himself, mostly.
Everyone else if wrong about them: not EVERYONE, just... some people. We agreed with a friend that some of our issues in portrayal lies with the fandom sort assigning him traits that Hakuba has, but not Shinichi (Hakubification). Of course, people can have their fun with it, but it's not for me and have my own opinions on the matter.
Canon isn't real if I don't look at it: again, DetCo has issues. Like the lack of continuity/ erased character development, or not bringing up issues ever again, and the like. Early DetCo was GOOD at these, and I miss those times.
That's a solid design right there and I fuck with this aesthetic so hard: HE IS!!!! SO SHAPED!!!!! SO ROUND!!! (or at least used to be) THE GENTLE CURVES OF HIS FACE!!! THE SILLY HAIR!!!! NOT TO MENTION HIS FCKIN WARDROBE!!!! I'M OBSESSED WITH HIM!!! Also, I have a huge thing for blue eyes and dark hair combination, not to mention the glasses... I'm fckin weak for glasses... god. He just hits all the right spots in my heart and brain. (Not to mention his personality, I WANT TO CRY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH-)
They didn't get bullied enough: I live for others teasing Gremlin Child. It's not quite bullying (never HURT HIM FOR REAL, I'LL CRY), but he needs to be TEASED MORE FOR SURE. I guess Bastardry also fits into this, that's good too.
SQUEAK: sometimes he is just so DUMB I want to SQUISH HIM HARD OR SHAKE HIM. I LOVE HIM, I SO DO, even if he is an idiot at times. God. I love him.
Literally I would kiss them and I want to BITE them: HIS CHEEKS ARE SO PERFECTLY ROUND I WANT TO CHOMP ON THEM. ALSO ALL THE KISSES TO HIM!!!!! BABY BOY!!!! GIVE HIM ALL THE KISSES!!!! AND HUGS TOO!!!
Bastard: the way he FCKS WITH SOME CRIMINALS. OH MY GOD. THE WAY HE IS SOMETIMES A MENACE ON PURPOSE. THE WAY HE SOMETIMES GETS SO ANNOYED HE JUST GOES FOR HIS WATCH. Also the way he is an absolute bastard to KID. His attitude is just so. *chef kiss* Love a menace of a child, HE'S AMAZING. HIS RAZOR SHARP SMIRK, THE MISCHIEVOUS CHILD FACE.
I have way too many favourite bits related to this boi. So. Have these random screencaps from my DCMK folder.
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I hope you have fun reading this madness, Cyn! I HAD AN ABSOLUTE BLAST, YOU HAVE MY ETERNAL LOVE, may you have an absolutely blessed day, dear.
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been a minute since i've answered yall asks, sorry about that. been having health issues again. sighs.
tw / tags: monster fucking, snake anatomy, breeding mentions
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Do you have any thoughts about slime-like monsters? I personally find monsters with… unstable??? body structure quite interesting cuz of their potential lol. Like, even of they're slow and trembling like jittery jelly, once they have grip on you – you gone, whoops. Struggling r useless, u will only get urself deeper and you can't even do a lot to escape. And bonus points if they're kinda dumb, so by acting silly and goofy they're practically gaslighting lmao —anonymous
i actually have a musing in the work about that one!! its...been in my draft forever...whoops....i'll work on that in just a bit then.
but yes!! theyre also super versatile too! imagine if you have one as a pet...its going to make a pet out of you, oho rip darling.
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I wonder how the 6 arms snake god eat. Does he just shallow his prey whole? chew them? Tear them apart then eat them piece by piece? I wonder what is his favorite part of his prey, and his less favorite. I imagine that some times, he eat messy, so reader clean the blood around his mouth with a clean napkin. —anonymous
i actually kinda imagine him opening his mouth like a snake would since he's no longer a human (w a pic below). but in the beginning, when he's still merging with the snake god, he'd probably start tearing his, ah, meals apart, yeah. i actually don't think his transformation was actually completed by the time he started his initial rampage + he wouldn't have any arm when he first started out too.
oh geez i can see him being super clumsy and floppy trying to learn how to move his new body. poor thing.
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his mouth would be like this, maybe with bigger fangs tho. that said, i cant find the original source now :( so if any of you know who this may be by, lmk so i can link the artist!!
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Hey-hey! Have you read Mieruko-chan by any chance? Maybe it's only me, but i find designs for ghosts from here rlly cool and some chapters can give some pretty cool concepts/ideas.
Gl on ur day! ✨ —anonymous
i actually have been keeping up with it! poor mc, she's trying her best...I'm crushing on the yandere tentacled head lady atm lol
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☆ Put this star into the inbox of your favourite blogs. It's time to spread positivity! 💖 — @berrychan03
dawwww <3 thank you!!! i'll be sure to spread them around~!
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Your Jaguar Trube story is really good! I like it. Are you going to make the part 2 for it? —anonymous
im actually kinda stumped on how to continue this one mainly because of the breeding kink being the primary focus and the reader initially being gn. i feel iffy doing this to my fellow gn readers as well, as i don't wish to exclude them and i don't think im that good of a writer to pull off a gn smut.
i could just do two versions tbh because its a little different between if the reader is afab and if they're amab.
if afab, theyre actually kinda in for some bad time because there's so many males around, possibly around 30 to even 50, and there's a lot of dp to go around because they're sharing them.
if amab, there's not many females around at all, maybe around 4 young adult ones (with the rest being old ladies), though that's not to say the males wouldn't touch them because they def would though lol but i kinda imagined that being amab they wouldn't be in too high of demand and would be given breaks. plus, they don't have to worry about getting pregnant.
i'll take feedback regarding this matter though, so lmk your thoughts on how i should proceed!
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anyhoo, gonna try and work on couple overdue commissions i got, but in the meanwhile, feel free to send in whatever (that is currently open lol) love ya bunches!
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prettyboykatsuki · 9 months
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the hsr swarm person: im level 66 which is why im so confused why im suffering so much; using my gorjus maxed out jingyuan, luocha 6/8/8/8 + all traces unlocked, seele with an honestly really bad build and preservation mc for survival who also isnt the best
im leveling up il dan heng rn but i have NO destruction mats and even less light cone level up mats so i guess we'll be grinding
so i guess a good team then would be ildh luocha and who else??
ALSO TYSM FOR HELPING<3
take my words w a grain of salt because i've really only managed to clear level three a few times and almost beat difficulty 4 but i would assume the main issues is that you need to spend your resources on a preservation unit and debuffer / support.
for jy ESPECIALLY because he's very vulnerable to crowd control. your preservation MC is viable but i'd recommend march 7th over them (or gepard if you managed to get him). a lot of the content in swarm will want to oneshot you so damage mitigation is more important than healing in my experience.
(which makes sense because fu xuan is next and her entire kit is damage mitigation but kjfdksd i digress)
i would say with your current team, drop seele off of your team and use luocha primarily for breaking imaginary shield. replace seele with a semi-built debuffer or support (the best option for both JY and DH IL is tingyun, but pela is also very viable for both. asta also works very well but more for jy than dh il. yukong is Fine but her kit is imo tricky and shes also kind of skill point greedy)
so for team comp recc jing yuan, flex support / debuff (tingyun works best for jy and dh il, as does pela.) / preservation / shielder / luocha.
for dh il i use dh il, tingyun AND pela, and then gepard for best results
after that - it's mostly about choosing the correct path for you based on your team comps. i don't have a lot of experience with elation path in swarm but i hear it does well for jy so you'd have to try it.
you can use destruction path for dh il since you have luocha but i do not use it much since i think it works better for self-sustain characters and i find it very tricky to use. its not impossible but its kind of a suicide mission since it mostly focuses on hp consumption.
me personally, i universally always go for the preservation or remembrance paths, abundance also works very well for this. preservation is preferred for me since i have a crazy stacked gepard lmao. mix preservation with some healing or debuffing blessings and it basically keeps you alive no matter what
remembrance (aka freeze path) is also pretty good because well. it freezes everything and if something is frozen it cannot hurt you but it only works if you have someone like pela, march or geppie.
abundance works well but you have luocha so it might not be as necessary for you. still i would say the blessings for abundance in swarm are wayyy better than the normal SU. it's kind of up to you
either way, always try to go for things that contribute to your path though because once you hit max you can combine paths as well and get more bonuses. having a lot of path resonance is good.
ALSO MAKE SURE YOU READ EACH BLESSING CAREFULLY!! i know that is obvious but its a good reminder. understanding exactly what stats you have can make or break your run i find
also and this is just my personal experience but i will always choose curios over blessings if i have a chance because i think curios have better universal effects. blessings can be random but curious are imo more consistent.
i hope this helps!! i can give more advice if anyone wants specifically because clearing swarm is very dependent on ur actual account but i do pretty regularly clear difficult content in game!!!
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n7punk · 2 years
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We’re stl here! She ra fans are still here!! YOUR fans are still here and not going anywhere! I think a lot of fans are just horny and give more engagement for rated E stuff lol. Also I (personally) try not to bombard my fav writers when I can tell they have shit going on irl- and I know you have dealt with a lot of sickness/pain lately so I dont want to be annoying! Could be the case for others. But we are here :)
aw i do appreciate it <3 ive been having such issues this year it has shaped.... literally everything, from irl stuff to slowing down my writing and also making interacting hard not just with yall but with my friends and family. sometimes messages stress me because i know i cant answer them (especially when i really want to), but i also like talking to you guys a lot its just very difficult at times. ive been having an extended episode for like three weeks now so thats. fun and easy. but! honestly its good to hear that and it is very kind of you <3 rn im on the border where im a little incomprehensible but feeling good enough to kinda ramble.
i feel like i keep mentioning the fandom "shrinking" but honestly i usually bring it up because i know it discourages new people who want to start making art or w/e for catradora and feel like "they missed their chance" but like yeah, youre exactly right, we're still here! if you're interested in catradora, you WILL find other people who still are and we're glad to have you (two cakes, etc).
i don't think the catradora fandom is small by any means, or even shrinking fast, it is just a fact that we used to be very high on the list of top ships, and now we're number 38 - still a big number despite the difference (ive never been in a fandom that ranked before im sure). which is why i brought it up for locked fics now seeing more "engagement" loss than before and part of my motivation to keep working on my stories comes from you guys! because im adhd and struggle with motivation/staying on task lol, so if i cant do something quickly (which hasnt been possible for like a year, you might noticed some of my "long fics" this year are shorter than years previous, though thats also story differences. look at SaD, which i thought would be short, and, well....), hearing other people be invested in it helps to stir up my own investment and keep me going so that was the reason it was a con i had to weigh despite generally focusing on what i like to write/read (side adhd tangent, i love how i started in my fics being like "well i could write adora as adhd or autistic but i worry about my outside perspective" and even worrying about how i do autistic representation to now knowing full well im both and gaining a deeper understanding of my life from it /end). i do think the lock will be very temporary (most likely because the damage is done, but hopefully because of some improvement/we find something new)
i did not mean to harp more on that and i think this will be the last time i mention it im just very rambling right now. anyway this message was sweet and i appreciate you <3
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heyharoldsboo · 1 year
Note
Hi ARIES, look we know you lurk around here because Ana has mentioned how she gets weekly asks calling her a dickriding cunt. Gotta assume it’s you at this point. I know this is a long message but i suggest you read it.
We know you are the reddit poster. We also know who “the minor that percy groomed and abused” is and we know the age difference between them is not 5 years like you said (even though initially you said about 3-4…you should have read your proof better tbh) but about 2.5 years and we also know that this girl still follows percy and katie on ig. (For those who dont know, dont try to find this girl ppl its impossible she changer her name in ig). And he followed her before your army of minions bullied him into unfollowing all his friends and art pages on insta. If she was so terrified and abused by him why is she still following him and his current gf or ex gf wtv they are? Ohh and speaking of this minor, there is proof on ig of you doing drugs with her when she was still a minor and you were over 18. Thats not a great! People are not exposing her because its obvious she does not wanna get involved, shes only 18. But thats because Percy defenders have respect and dont wanna scoop low. That is also the reason why the reddit post proof has not been shared. So keep that in mind.
as for your SA allegations, i dont want to assume what SA is like for any given person but if you did meet him at a party, you yourself said he “ touched your back and hips and asked you to chill”. So basically he hit on you? you also said it was not violent and that you know some people will say its nothing. Why would you say that at all if what he really did was SA? I also find it strabge how you seem to post insta stories from ever party you ever go to lately but you didnt back then? During the age of smartphones. And also you should tell Kayla DMs dont get deleted when someone blocks you or an app gets updated.
but anyways, dont wanna get too much into debunking proof, there a lot if that on twitter. I wanna tell you that it is more than clear you are not well. The way you post on reddit, especially facebook. I know its not easy mental health wise and you need help. Those tweets you tweeted yesterday, about how you have done horrible things and cant apologise, dont know what thats about but if its about Percy you should come clean. I know you never will though, too much to ask for because what you and your friends have done is truly inhumane. You took a small toxic part of a teens life, when he was probably troubled and part of an awful group of friends with those girls and that brycen guy and embelished a situation to put a narrative out there that he was some weekly rapist. And you all know this, thats why you dont have better proof, thats why the only things you could provide was proof he cheated on Karis and told Desiree she wasnt a liar and had to inform himself because it was the first time he had to deal with this and it was a delicate situation. If he raped girls every weekend, why was it the first time he had to deal with that when desiree says she got raped at a party? Desiree does not deny whatbhe says at all. Also, why did Kayla text a rapist to call someone to make all this end? Why give a rapist any chance to apologize or “explain himself”? Makes no sense. you see Aries the very own ss you girls shared invalidate the narrative you were trying to put out there. Because you all knew simply saying he was a womanizer and a bully would not be enough to cancel him.
Not a lot of people have any compassion left for you. Maybe im soft but I kind of do. Because I had a family member who had the issues that you are dealing with now and I know how hard it is. You need help, professional help and to find the right medication and the right dosage as well. And you need to get off social media, it is the worst thing for someone in your situation. You should come clean about how you feel and what you did and close it off. Disconnect, clear your mind and girl i dont know if you are seeing one or not, but you need a better doctor or therapist. I do feel for you a bit, even if so many people dont because i dont think you’re thinking straight and i think you are very confused and in crisis.
i dont know about the rest of the girls, but wtv grudge they held against percy from high school, they got their revenge. He will have haters forever, this will forever be a stain on his life and career. You have all done SO MUCH damage, you have no idea! So congratulations but now ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! From all you!
i truly wish you get the help you need one day
I'm glad there are still compassionate people in this world, because I am one of the people who have no kindness or compassion left for her or any of the Shitshow sisters.
I hope karma gets her good.
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mrkis · 2 years
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a twlg ask from 🦄 anon below the cut!! yet again, i had to put it into a separate post to not clog up the dash bc of how long it is!! my response is beneath!!
Im keeping track with the discussion in Discord and all I can say is I am still team Jaemin, and I am still giving him the benefit of the doubt. We have seen fractures of what he went through up to part 3 and during part 4 & 5 a lot of stuff happened between him and mc and to me their relationship took a different route then. Also mc didnt truly fall for him up until that moment before the party in pt 3 when he said "you got me" so they are basically in the same boat up until this point, things change for her after that and I think for him too. And i'd like to think that there is so much more beneath the surface when it comes to him and how he views his relationship with mc, and her as a person.
Like I said in my previous ask yeah at first he sees her as only a fuck buddy, but its normal considering they never really knew each other and had any sort of a bond. I cant blame him for wanting and asking for what they agreed upon in the first place, its also not his fault how mc reads his actions, she doesnt know whats inside his head neither does he know whats inside of hers. Communication is still a big issue for them, they tend to ignore what they want to really say to avoid "complications" or simply because they are more scared of being vulnarable with another person again and its easier to brush it off and pretend its nothing.
Im still salting about how in pt 5 he was waiting for her to talk about that important thing yet she did everything in her power to distract him and they ended up having sex, a soft one which was nice ofc and seeing how much of an effect her calling him "baby" during it had on him, I so desperately want to see his side of that. Or how easily she let him go without even considering if he wants to give Eunbin a second chance, which he clearly stated he didnt, he forgave her more for himself to have his own closure, not to give her the joy of being forgiven.
Idk, both of them have huge faults in how things got so complicate, one honest long talk is all they need to resolve atleast 99 of their issues, but both of them are cowards. I just hope that when pt6.2 comes out we will see more of how things are for him in regards to mc and how he understands it, cause sometimes its hard to understand what you feel or even accept it because of the anxiety that comes with your own reality after you embrace all those feelings and thoughts. Its scary, terrifying even. This is more personal but a few years ago I had fallen for my ex-bffs little brother and believe me when I say those were the toughest, most heartwrenching couple of months in my life. I was in such huge denial, I tried to see him as a little brother but one look from him, one simple touch on the arm had my head spinning, and during those month of internal struggle I was even hating myself (he had a gf btw). I didnt want to admit to anything infront of myself let alone anyone else, and the moment those bursted down I was a wreck. It took me months to get over him. So yeah, I can kinda get why Jaemin, and mc for that matter, struggle with their own reality of what they feel and why, cause sometimes it can feel like its wrong, like some unwritten rule was broken and the world is ending. It may not be at all wrong, we all feel what we feel and its not sth we can control. This got a bit misdirected but you get what I mean 😅
I am still team Jaemin, and until I see him genuinely being a complete and total arse toward mc, like making her feel small and unreasonable and just wrong for having feelings for him, then I will root for him. I try to put myself in his shoes and despite all his wrong doings, I can see why he would build such walls around himself and how scared he must be to let them fall.
Also, for the yy x mc endgame trope, I know he is nice and has feelings for her and all but i cant see them together. Just because they may work good because of the foundation they have for their friendship doesnt necessarily mean they would be a good couple. There are many layers to a relationship and sure they can be cute, but the amount of drama it would create within the group would be too much. Also, i feel like a part of mc will always be for Jaemin, considering the complicity of their relationship. It would also not be fair to Yang Yang to sorta be her second choice after Jaemin. If mc ends up with anyone who is not Jaemin then it should be an outside person, so she can truly move on.
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[ mrkis response ] : i'm gonna section my responses in a bulleted list for you!! thank you for sending me this btw!!
its fun to hear you're giving jaemin the benefit of the doubt and that you're still team jaemin!! in six(pt1), we saw jaemins thought process from part one to part three which, i think, is different from his upcoming thought process from part four to five (and so on as i'll be continuing present day in jaemins pov after the flashback scenes are over. but they will go back to mc's pov in part seven!!) — and you're right abt mc!! she didn't fully realise she liked him into the party scene. there was always something lingering, which was the comfort between them both that she craved, but diving further into their fwb relationship and becoming exclusive, that definitely persuaded her. — there is definitely more beneath the surface when it comes to him and his relationship with mc. he does really care abt her a lot and, admittedly, she has become his best friend over this short period of time. bare in mind, in jaemins mind, it has always been jeno and jaemin. jeno has always been his number one (he still loves the other boys, haru and miwoo tho) and jeno still is his number one.. he just shares that spot with mc now. so mc does mean a lot to him!! :D
i like how you said its normal and you can't blame jaemin to see mc as a fuck buddy as that was their relationship, bc its true!! that's all it was!! and its for sure not either of their faults for not understanding whats going on inside each others heads (this is where the communication is needed for sure. its one of their biggest issues in this relationship even though they made it a rule)
with that scene in part five, that was definitely mc's fault for sure. things could've been avoided if she was open abt her growing feelings towards him but she's vulnerable!! and she's very scared!! them being vulnerable and scared also plays a huge part for sure.. it's a problem they need to work on :( —you will for sure see jaemins reaction to the first soft sex scene they've had. it was so.. intimate. something that jaemin hasn't really had in a long time. so i can't wait for you to see that!
they're definitely cowards and both at faults. like i've said before, all this trouble and pain could easily be avoided if they just talked :/ six(pt2), for me personally, is going to be an eye opener. hopefully ahhh. its where eunbin comes into play, its where jaemins head gets fucked and it shows where the people in his life truly stand.
for me, i love the yangyang and mc endgame conversations that have been going on!!! i think they would be good together, mainly bc of how much yangyang truly cares and thinks abt mc... but then again, i fully believe yangyang deserves someone better. he doesn't deserve to be a second choice :(
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sleepy-za · 2 years
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soooo when are we going to talk abt the metal sonic reflections comic?
HOLY SHIT…..
i’ve only recently started to read the idw comics bc I’ve only ever read the archie comics and grew up on them and archie is notorious for some,,,, ridiculous plot lines (thanks ken penders). so far, i’ve absolutely loved the idw comics and picked up a few from my local comic shop, read those, then went online to read the beginning since i only have novel 6 and 8. the metal virus saga is just….so captivating,,,,.
the whole concept of robotization in the sonic Archie has always been something really interesting to me, and to see it being somewhat brought back through the metal virus saga just made me so excited.
so, i sat down, and read all the way up to idw issue #30, then went back to my physical copy of novel 8, read through big’s storyline, then the radio owl guy, then i stumbled upon the reflections comic.
i was like “omg!!!!” because i love metal sonic so much (i could make an entirely different post about the neo metal sonic arc) and read through it.
a silly sonic comic provoked such raw emotion from me i was just devastated reading it and then starline yelling at metal <///3
for those who haven’t read reflections, here is the summary from metal sonic’s idw wiki page:
“Metal Sonic walked around the halls of the Faceship alone. After watching a playback of his fight against Sonic and Silver, he walked on and slid his hand on his legs. He soon arrived at Dr. Starline's lab and saw a vat of Metal Virus. He entered the room and stared at it before focusing on a recording of Sonic getting infected with the virus. The robot checked to make sure that the coast was clear and turned back to the vat of Metal Virus. He reached his hand out to the tub but paused. After a moment, Metal Sonic determinedly extended his hand out again and dipped his index finger in the vat of Metal Virus. He lifted it out and looked at the mixture on his finger. However, as the Metal Virus has no effect on things that are already mechanical, it slid off his finger and dropped back down into the vat. The robot stood still, stunned, and stared at his hand. He is soon alerted by the presence of Starline, who told him that he should get out of his office. Metal Sonic simply walked away.”
link to wiki page: https://sonic.fandom.com/wiki/Metal_Sonic_(IDW)#Reflections
WAAAAAGGAGSGWG im having so many thoughts abt this specific comic and don’t know how properly say what im feeling I’m just,,,, waahahahahahhghhhgggg spewing my thoughts onto a tumblr post for any poor traveler to come across.
metal was created to be a superior version of sonic, someone who could finally fight on the same level as him, with all of his abilities and enhancements due to being a robot. to me, this comic is metal coming to terms with the fact that he is not sonic, and he won’t ever be the one true sonic. he’s not an organic life form, so the metal virus won’t affect him. he realizes he’s just a reflection of sonic, plastered onto mechanical data.
and he won’t ever be an organic lifeform; he’s just another one of robotnik’s creations that keep getting destroyed over and over and over again because of robotnik’s plan for world domination. the closest metal has ever gotten to finally defeating sonic (at least, in the idw universe) was becoming neo metal. even then, he was just following orders, he couldn’t do anything on his own free will. (if i recall correctly, during that arc, neo mentions how robotnik reprogrammed him so he wouldn’t be rebellious anymore.)
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he hesitates at first before dipping his finger into the metal virus serum, giving a second and becoming confident in himself. if he’s truly a copy of sonic, he must be able to be infected too, right? he watched on the cams, sonic being ever so slowly infected by the virus, now was his chance to prove to himself that he is more than just a copy, more than just a mindless robot.
but…he’s not an organic being, the metal virus won’t affect him.
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he simply watches as it slips off his finger, back into the vat. it won’t affect him, he’s a robot. he won’t ever be organic, he won’t ever be the true sonic because he’s not sonic. he’s just a mechanical version with sonic’s bio-data.
and maybe that’s okay. he doesn’t need to be sonic to prove himself stronger. maybe he’ll find his own identity outside of his counterpart.
anyway, thanks for listening to my insane ramblings
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xiaq · 3 years
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Hi, I have a question re:sex and Christianity. Small background: I still go to church, and I still live with my parents even though I'm not much younger than you, because housing is very very expensive where I live (pretty common here, I would say about 2/3 of my friends live with their parents and we are decently privileged kids)
Anyway. How does one get over purity culture? To be clear, I've never been told in church not to have sex, I've never gotten the gendered lessons that you got. But I am terrified of having sex. My first real, multi-year relationship just ended and while there was hand stuff etc, there was never any p in v sex (lol I feel 12). But I still had insane anxiety about being pregnant despite being on bc. And I think its because I know my parents would be so disappointed if I had sex. And if I was pregnant I could imagine all the gossip. And honestly I think im from a pretty open church, b/c one of our previous ministers kids recently got married at 8 months pregnant and lots of church people were at the wedding and supportive and her parents were there and everything.
I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???
(Asking because it seems like you've been pretty open about purity culture/removing yourself from it)
CW for sex talk (again)
How does one get over purity culture?
Oh man. That really is the million-dollar question, huh? Obviously, I can only answer re my personal experiences, and this is something you should talk to a therapist about, but I can tell you how I’ve tackled it with my therapist at least.
Purity culture is, at its core, an ideology that is perpetuated by shame. If you’re indoctrinated into purity culture when you’re a kid, the concepts become baked into the way you construct your identity, your perception of self, and your perception of your sexuality. It’s practically intrinsic, by the time you’re an adult, to feel shame any time you’re reminded you have a body, much less a sexuality.
According to the chapels I sat through every week as a kid, a girl's body could be 3 things: an intentional stumbling block for men, an accidental stumbling block for men, or unnoticeable. Women were to strive for the third option so as to keep their (and their male friends/authority figures) purity intact. After all, if a boy, or even your male teacher, had impure thoughts about you, it was your fault for tempting them (which, holy shit. I still can’t believe that was a thing I bought into for so long. If my 45 yr old grown-ass teacher had impure thoughts because he could see my 12 yr old collarbone, that sure as hell wasn’t my fault. But I digress.) The Only time a woman’s body can be something else, is when she gives it to her husband, at which point she must suddenly flip the switch in her brain that she is now allowed to be a Sexual Being and she must perform Sexual Duties despite living in outright fear of her own body and sexuality for years (decades?) up until this point. Jesus take the wheel.
Purity culture isn’t a thing you can just decide to walk away from if you’ve grown up in it. Because its ideology is insidious and internalized. So first you need to submit to the fact that you’re going to be fucked up about sex. It sounds like you’re there. Second, you need to interrogate what you believe. If you’re leaving religion behind entirely, you’ll approach removing yourself from purity culture differently than if you still identify as a Christian. It sounds like you might be the latter, which meant, for me, separating what’s actually biblical and what’s shitty, contrived, doctrine that I was told is biblical but is actually more political than spiritual. This helps you address the shame issue.
You need to throw away I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Lady in Waiting and all those ridiculous books you read and reread in the hopes of somehow obtaining impossible marriage perfection and look into actual scripture interpreted within its historical context. I could write a book on this, but the TL;DR is that the text of the Bible was written, translated, curated, and changed multiple times over thousands of years by human beings with human biases and, often, personal and/or political agendas. It contradicts itself! Reading it as it is—a flawed historical document—rather than some sort of God-breathed perfect document—is incredibly freeing. When you do, you’ll probably realize that purity culture is bullshit on a spiritual level. Which is a good start, if that matters to you. Because any time you start to feel shame or guilt you can ask yourself: does God actually care if I wear a bikini or touch a dick I’m not married to? Probably not. Wear the bikini. Touch the dick.
The most important therapy session for me was when my therapist asked what I would do if I got to heaven and God was actually the God I’d been raised to fear. What would I do if he condemned me for being bisexual and having premarital sex and becoming educated, for arguing with men, and failing to isolate while menstruating, and wearing mixed fabrics? If Montero had come out at the point, I probably would have said I’d pole dance down to hell. Instead, I said I would spit on heaven’s gates. If a god that cruel and that pointlessly demeaning really exists—a god who would create in me condemned desire—I won't worship him. The good news is, I’m 99% sure he doesn’t exist. At the very least, he isn’t supported by scripture.
Okay. The final thing you need to do is figure out what you actually want, sexually speaking. This bit is probably the hardest. I’m still in the early stages of this myself. You say: “I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???” Bro, I wish I had an easy answer for you. For me, whenever I’m feeling anxious about Sex Things, I tell myself: 1. My God does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 2. My partner does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 3. I do not equate my worth to my sexual habits. It seems silly, but reminding myself of those three things is massively helpful. If, after I’ve sorted through those, I’m still anxious or uncomfortable, I stop doing the thing. I evaluate. Am I overwhelmed and I need to try again some other time? Do I just not like the thing? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you change your mind. Sometimes you just don’t know. That’s why having a partner who you trust and who’s willing to patiently explore your interests (and respect your disinterests) is so important. Half the battle, for me, was having a partner who told me they’d be ok with no sex at all. Because that took the pressure off me. If the bare minimum they need is nothing, then anything more than that is a bonus! Hooray! This is maybe TMI, but let me tell you. I thought I was asexual* right up until I was able to have moderately non-anxious sex. Never in my life did I think I would initiate a sexual situation but… I do now. It’s a fun thing to do with a person I love and, holy shit. I am furious that I nearly missed out on it.
Finally, re birth control: I don’t know how you can approach that fear in a way that works for you. If you don’t want to ever have penetrative sex, that’s fine! If that’s a point of anxiety you can’t get rid of, then don't push yourself to do it. If you find out you like other sex things, do the other sex things! If you don't like doing any sex things, don't do any sex things! Also, have you considered sleeping with people who can’t get you pregnant? Always an option if it’s an option you want to consider. ;)
Okay. I hope this was even a little bit helpful. Sorry if it’s a little convoluted, I typed it up in bursts during my work breaks.
*This is not at all to say that asexuality can be “fixed." Rather, it’s to say that things like purity culture can drastically confuse your sexuality in general. If you’re asexual, then this process is still important to discover what you like/dislike. Then you can be explicit about those necesities and find a partner who’s a good fit (if you want a partner at all, that is).
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extravalgant · 3 years
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concept: the wizards' cards have textures based on their effects and how often the card is used, like literal playing cards that get worn over time. i know i shared this in the discord but i wanna see how u interpet it with art bc i cant art
AW THANK U FOR COMING TO ME LEAH im flattered u want to see my artistic interpretations omg
I REALLY LIKED THAT IDEA YOU PUT IN THE DISCORD... i never thought that the cards would get worn down over time through heavy use . ITS SUCH A GOOD IDEAAA most of your ideas are so good<33
that being sad i thought about it more in school while i was waiting for a friend to finish up in class and heres what i got
— i feel as if novice decks + cards have a sort of "block" on them - that means there is a spell that prevents newer wizards from putting too much magic into their spells and tiring themselves out quicker. the magic is more stilted, which is why some may fizzle more over others. but they are made specifically for new trainees in mind, so more experienced wizards dont use them.
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(i hope the explanation makes sense....)
ANYWAYS . ill do it by groupings so elemental school is up
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— i feel as if pyromancers are more prone to burning their cards and decks to a crisp - hence the charred edges around their cards. falmea has to teach novice pyromancers about fire safety and how to safely put out a fire caused by magic (rather than fire caused naturally, imo i think they're two different things)
— as they steadily grow more confident in keeping their flame up and consistent, these types of accidents will stop, and they would stop burning their cards too. however, i think that the charred edges remain simply because it's fire and you're going to expect it to get burned either way. but now there's a more smokey quality to the way that it smells and looks.
also. i think the words and appearance would also get smudged and disappear over time, so they would probably have to rely on their memory or the way that the card feels (or even cast it) to see which one it is.
— ALSO i think all spell cards all look the same, but the corners are marked with the schools colors<3 i think it looks cool
— for thaumaturges i feel as if they would always freeze their cards so that they would be unusable in battle - the magic cant really flow into a spell card when the card itself is just basically a chunk of ice omg
for this, i feel like greyrose would cross some classes with falmea - she teaches the pyromancers how to relax the grip on their flame, and falmea would teach the thaumaturges how to allow themselves to relax, flow out of their rigid state.
— as they learn to control the rate at which their ice magic manifests, their spell cards are instead dusted with a light shade of frost, that which can be easily cleaned off. the words can become a little bit more harder to read and a bit foggier, though, so sometimes they have a chance to cast the wrong spell.
— diviners are 100% wrecking their cards like crazy. some students would have to constantly get new sets of decks or spell cards because storm is such a strong school off the bat - lightning tears through the protective block sometimes, often times making them practically unusable.
some people drop out or switch schools because of this issue - it's too much work to have to constantly replace torn cards or learn how to rework your magic into a better way.
— i think with enough time, diviners can learn how to redirect magic into a more consistent way (because storm magic in general is very inconsistent) -- they are still more likely to tear their cards in a fight, but it starts more at the edges, rather than novices almost tearing huge chunks and bottom/top halves off.
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— for conjurers i feel like theyre the types to start bending their cards - perhaps out of nervousness or habit. when you have an uptight teacher like cyrus, i think that kind of manifests itself into other behaviors.
— for some reason, i feel like their cards are more likely to shimmer and shine more. since their school mainly deals with the mind and creativity, the cards and decks reflect that. that being said, it may shimmer too much. to the point where novices can't even make out the creature of the card, and end up summoning the wrong one.
self-explanatory, but sometimes their mind may be clouded by other things, and i like to think that the mind and magic is connected, hence why it will affect the spell cards.
— for necromancers, i feel like when their magic takes the necessary sacrifice, it also ends up taking chunks out of the card too. you can have the right rituals down to perform a spell, but it doesn't mean the sacrificial aspect isn't the part that messes up most novices.
i think after diviners, necromancers come in at a close second at wrecking their cards. sometimes the whole card disappears and you're like "what the heck".
— sacrifice is a core part of the death school, so malorn and dworgyn teach the novices how to make the sacrifices smaller, more localized to the edges of the cards. it's why older, experienced wizards may have cards that look like they've been eaten around the edges.
— for theurgists, i feel like they're the school that doesn't wreck their cards most of the time. there's has to do more with growth than anything else, hence why i think their cards are the ones that are the least replaced.
rather, i think things begin to grow on and around the cards. tiny vines that tear through the spell cards, wrapping around the edges. they can be ignored most of the time, but if a life wizard has their emotions and magic tied particularly close, these vines can and will get out of hand.
— experienced and older theurgists will have these sorts of vines around the corners and edges of their cards, however it may differ on plant type. because magic is different for every person, the flowers that grow there might differ from each person. the spells are worn, but because of life's rejuvinating energy, they look considerably newer compared to other schools.
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— AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST... SORCERERS . this one stumped me a lil bit im ngl. i think novices have problems with concentrating on flipping between each of the schools as their attacks and supports demand it.
cards that feel wet and soggy, dried in some places as they use an a elemental school card; cards that look transparent in some places, bits and pieces gone from spiritual schools; spotty and fuzzy writing that comes from using sorcery in their own school.
— ITS... A LOT TO HANDLE. which is also why some people may end up transferring out of balance. i feel like sorcerers may have a class with each of the teachers of the seven schools, to level each of the magics that come with handling all seven of them.
— older sorcerers may get special decks and spell cards to help prevent the spell cards from straight up getting destroyed or unusable. i like to think it has a time factor -- turning back time on the cards appearance so that it lasts longer, just to give a throwback to the sands of time storyline instance in mirage.
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9tzuyu · 3 years
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children of tragedy (rewrite)
note: heyo, rewriting an old fic of mine. i hope to be able to rewrite all 5 chapters quickly. if you guys don’t like it, i won’t continue because its kinda dark and idk i feel like no ones gonna like it anyways. please leave feedback though, im on my knees begging for validation. also sorry if its ooc, please forgive me.
++ sorry the beginning reveals how rusty my writing is </3
(*** i wrote this as as a fem reader fic because it worked easier with how i wrote things.)
+ please remember that this is purely a way to get out my own feelings/struggles in a healthy way. also i’m sure this works better as a ship fic, but someone asked for this version so yeah :).
** mistakes are mine im too tired and lazy to proofread right now.
warnings: talk of alcohol abuse, slight mention of domestic abuse.
🏷 @peggycarter-steverogers
ch.2 | ch.3
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[love, fragility, and the memories that eat us alive.]
meeting wanda changed everything for you. she wasn't like anyone you’d ever known. she was always kind, never quick to lose her temper or scream and yell at you for things you couldn't possibly control. she was warm, tender with everything she did.
your relationship with her was very new to you. it was much different in comparison to your past experiences — and you weren't quite sure what to think of it. there was no doubt that you appreciated her and everything she did for you, but you were still waiting for her to snap. it was almost like a need burning throughout your body. being able to grasp the idea that someone could ever really, truly be gentle with you was out of the question. in turn, you’d push all of her buttons, hoping that she would get mad enough and get it over with.
no one could really fault you for it. the steady stream of abuse was the nearly the entirety of your life, both physical and mental.
lately wanda was having to pick you up from wherever she could find you, most of the time in the alleyways of of bars you’d been kicked from.
once you were drunk enough (anyone really) you weren’t afraid to say the first thing that came to your mind, offensive or not – which meant it was no surprise when you’d been involved in fights. the alcohol numbed a majority of the pain anyway, so didn’t really make much of a difference to you.
with this happening so many times, you figured wanda would be angry with you – perhaps so angry she would find it within her to hit you. but each and every time wanda brought you home, she made sure you were comfortable before tending to your inuries.
what you didn't know was that being so worried for you all the time, every second of everyday, was beginning to take a toll on her. wanda only wanted to fix you, but you were making it more than difficult for her to do that.
she knew very little about your past, simply because you didn't like talking about it and she didn't want to push. but there was no denying the fact that wanda was curious.
sometimes she would ask questions, only between the soft moments the both of you shared. much to her dismay, most of her curiosities were turned down. on the rare occasions you shared brighter memories of your childhood, wanda would bookmark them in the back of her head.
no harm would ever come from her, but you didn’t know that. at least not right now.
too many times had your exes used the trust you’d so politely given against you. to be fair with wanda though, you shared only the brightest parts of your childhood. they were very seldom, but the ones you could remember were the ones you enjoyed talking about the most. 
despite her limited knowledge, it wasn’t hard for her to tell that you’d already been hurt plenty of times before. apart from the fact that wanda was overall truly a good person, it made her even more gentle with you than she’d ever been with anyone before. 
on top of that, wanda wasn’t stupid. she picked up on every little flinch you tried to hide, or the times you had to ask her if it was okay if you could do something on your own free will, and she definitely didn’t forget about the countless times you berated yourself over small, humanly mistakes. a frown never failed to decorate her face when these things happened. 
wanda tried her hardest to make it known how much she loved you, and how she would never intentionally hurt you. she never once lifted a hand on you or raised her voice in the slightest, even when she felt like she’d met a breaking point.
the last few weeks seemed to be putting more stress on her than usual. the gashes on your body seemed to be cutting deeper and the bruises on your jaw and rib cage were beginning to turn a darker shade of indigo as each fight became more aggressive. your knuckles had been swollen, irritated to the point your hands trembled when your palms were held open.  
you completely missed how drastically wanda’s mood had changed. she became quiet, seemingly lost in thought most of the time until she needed to take care of you. she grew tired, a purple tint claiming a spot below the lip of her eyes. fifteen pounds of weight had shredded from her body and her head grew dizzy every time she stood up. none of that mattered to wanda though, you were her number one priority.
alcohol was the biggest issue in the way. if wanda could get you to stop drinking for just one night she might be able to reason with you. 
the brunette knew that was out of the question though, because she knew no matter how many times she told or expressed her love for you, you wouldn’t stop until you wanted to, not when she wanted you to. 
you never allowed yourself to be vulnerable around her, so she never knew how you truly felt about the things going wrong in your life. there was an unbearable amount of pain when it came to confronting what you tried so hard to push away. the idea of allowing yourself to heal, to mourn the things taken away from you caused a lump in the back of your throat. living in denial was the easiest way to cope - that was as long as you could bear the damage it created.
 (and whether wanda knew it or not, knowing that you were causing her so much misery was the worst feeling you’d ever faced. all she had ever given you was love and in return she was met with destruction.)
so once again you found yourself walking alone, a slight stagger between steps. it was cold, each breath exhaled from your lips could be seen vaporizing into the air. every movement ripped what balance you thought you’d gained right out from underneath you. the feeling of numbness in your fingertips brought your attention away from the fact that you didn’t know where you were. 
the buildings all looked familiar, but everything was hazy. being drunk wasn’t always the fun everyone bragged about. too tired to carry on, you found yourself slumped in the back of an alleyway next to a dirty garbage bin. it reeked of sour, expired food, but you’d given up on caring about anything else other than trying to drink yourself numb. 
your mind began to wander. flashes of early mornings with wanda’s hands wrapped around your waist, breath tickling the back of your neck while the sun began to rise started filling your thoughts. the warm feeling wanda gave you outweighed every bad emotion you could possibly think of.
but as you stared at the ground beneath your feet things began to spiral. your throat contracted, the guilt you tried so hard to swallow began clawing its way out of your body.
(and holy fuck you could not deal with this right now.)
you curled your head between your legs in an attempt to shield yourself away from something that was born from the inside.
it was too much.
without a chance to stop what was happening, your stomach began heaving. a mix of bile and alcohol drooled from your mouth as you continued to vomit.
you missed the sound of footsteps coming from behind you. the feeling of a hand on your shoulder caused you to jerk back, slamming your back into the brick wall.
“hey, hey, it’s me. you’re okay. it’s just me, wanda.” she cooed.
through teary eyes, you looked up at the woman in front of you.
she’s your girlfriend.
(but you weren’t sure that you deserved to call her that after everything you’ve put her through.)
“what are you doing here?” your voice wavered as you wiped your mouth free of excess vomit. you sniffled backing away from her.
she tilted her head, desperate to read what your eyes would give away. “i’m here to bring you back home. can you stand up for me?” you shook your head. you were too exhausted and dizzy from the alcohol to even think about standing.
“that’s okay,” she whispered. “here, i’m going to pick you up, okay? wrap your arms around my neck and your legs around my hips.”
“mkay.” your speech was still slurred, but at that point all wanda cared about was getting you home safe.
you didn’t remember the ride home or wanda carrying you out of the car to lay you on the couch. by the time she got the supplies she needed to wrap and tend to your wounds, you were completely passed out.
when you woke up you were greeted with a glass of water and an over the counter pain medication. you swallowed the pills and moved to set the glass on the coffee table, but wanda beat you to it and took it out of your hands. she smiled down at you, taking a seat next to you. she tucked your hair behind your ears, giving your face one last gentle stroke.
thats when you noticed her eyes were red.
you immediately sat up, crossing your legs and moved closer to her. you’d hoped to comfort her somehow, but the shake of her head broke sonething inside you.
you bit your lip, anxiety shooting throughout your body. she sensed your nervousness and took your hands in hers, rubbing circles on the outside of your wrist with her thumbs.
“i love you, you know that. at least i hope you do,” she let out a soft laugh. “but i can’t keep doing this.”
your heart dropped, and you could feel the all too familiar feeling of guilt building its way back up. you tried to speak, but wanda cut you off.
“i need you to hear this.”
when you didn’t respond she took the opportunity to continue saying what she needed to get out.
“i have exhausted myself to a breaking point. i can’t keep worrying about you every single night you’re gone. i can’t be there every time you need saving. i’m losing myself.”
she paused to check and see how you were handling her words. for once you weren’t shutting down. you were genuinely trying to process what she was trying to say.
(and she was so proud of you for that. she almost considered giving you another chance. but she knew for the better, she couldn’t do that. not to you, not to her.)
“i’ve packed your things. you can leave tomorrow morning if you wish, i don’t mind having you for another meal or two.”
she squeezed your hands and got up from the couch, allowing you to take in what she said. it was in that moment when you realized that even when she’d finally drawn the line, had enough, she didn’t yell at you. she wasn’t angry, she was just sad.
you were chasing after something that wasn’t there, and it never would be there.
and now you were able to register just how much you’d fucked up the one good thing in your life.
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suaudisruption · 3 years
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UPDATE: [Explanation + Revamp ]
(i do express some feelings in here that might be a bit of a downer, so if you dont want to read through that, i recommend skipping to the last three paragraphs <3 )
yeesh- hey yall i know its been- definitely a good while since ive posted anything on here, besides things that went down a couple months ago. and first, i want to apologize for not fufilling my goals to get this story out. its been- a very rough year to say the least, a lot of bad things and changes, some good- but its taken its toll on me pretty bad.
i havent forgotten about this story, though. i think about it all the time, i think about disrupt and artifact all the time, and i want to share their story with yall so so bad, but- im stuck in a place where i feel like its?? too late lol??? and i know its not but- i guess it got increasingly difficult over time to actually post things because i wanted to make sure everything was planned out perfectly, that i had a good story to tell and i wouldnt let people down- but the more i kept nitpicking, the more worried i got to even post anything in the first place. and thats something i still really need to work on, tbh.
motivation was another issue in itself- its very hard for me to stay on one thing for too long, especially if it requires a lot of attention- and my struggle this year with mental health made that even worse lol. so while i so desperately wanted to make content- i felt trapped and unable to actually do so.
but i say this all with a reason- and thats because i think im going to revamp this page and give it. give this story one more shot. its not even fully about letting yall down, its also- i dont want to keep this story inside me and never get the chance to tell it, you know..? and i- know the process will take awhile and my organization might be messy, etc- but atleast im telling it in some way- besides lol, i kind of need to tell this story to help heal myself too. i cant leave this abandoned, because its such a big part of me and i- yeah.
ill form a more coherent post when i finish revamping this page a bit, but- to those who are willing and wanting to stick around for how ever long it takes for me to complete my unorganized messy storytelling lol- i truly appreciate you all. it means a lot.
and with all that, off i go to edit some things! please make sure to hydrate and eat something if you can, today <3 your health is always important, mentally and physically <3 <3
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blondebooklion · 3 years
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why it drives me crazy when people say c!ranboo has no morals but think c!wilbur and c!ranboo could still have potential to be narrative foils
morals:
loyalty to family/friends: in both his normal functioning and his enderwalk stage ranboo is incredibly defensive of his loved ones. this is 100% the center of his moral compass. he doesn't do certain things he fears will upset others (thus succumbing to peer pressure yes) but i deeply disagree with people argument that that is proof he has no moral backbone. particularly due to a couple of instances:
ranboo visiting tommy in exile: while not directly breaking the rules there was a general expectation, especially the people ranboo spent his time with, of not really visiting tommy. it wasnt really a set rule or anything but ranboo was definitely putting himself at risk by doing so.
protectiveness over michael: when sam and puffy showed up to prank ranboo, he was incredibly defensive over his son. he was ready to kill to protect his son if it came down to it.
rescuing tommy+tubbo: while we have it confirmed this instance was in their enderwalk stage, ranboo going both proves ranboos values in the enderwalk are the same (or i'd argue strengthened even) ranboo moved protectedly in front of tubbo when he and tommy had separated
forgiveness: he is willing to give people more than one chance, he is incredibly quick to judgements but for the most part he does not rely on other peoples opinions of each other to dictate the way he feels about them, he does take it into account in his overall image of them, but like with revivebur, he is willing to offer him a chance.
reciporcity to kindness: when people are kind to him, he is kind back. y'all let this slide as a moral with techno. it counts here. no im not counting it as necessarily loyalty because he is polite and kind even to those he isn't close to.
self-reliance: for better or worse ranboo does not think he needs other people to survive, in many instances he has displayed thinking he and everyone else would be better off if he were isolated. he does not want to depend too much in anyone, which can especially be seen in his desire for wealth. i think it has always been more about i dont have to rely on others, if things go south i can still survive (obviously part or it is needed something to do on stream, im applying other characteristics of ranboo to infer) but we can also see this in him retreating to himself (panic room, not telling anyone about his book being missing) when he is threatened because he believes the best way to handle it is himself
security: ranboo is incredibly driven bu his desire for safety and stability for both himself and for his loved ones. he thrives on consistency. he struggles the most when things begin to change.
difference between foil and antagonist (just for clarity cause some people have been switching up the definitions)
"an antagonist is a character who is in direct opposition to the protagonist. their actions deliberately hinder the protagonist from achieving her goal. this relationship helps build conflict and propels a story forward."
"a foil exists simply to shine the spotlight on certain traits of another character, without necessarily creating opposition or conflict."
credit: masterclass
the opposing traits/beliefs that i think will cause the most conflict between the two (ranboos will be written like this and wilburs like this to differentiate)
leader vs follower
probably the most obvious contention point, pointed out on 5/05 stream by wilbur pressing ranboo on what he stands for. wilbur wants to be in charge. but i think ranboo is how wilbur wanted people to value him. wilbur wanted to be the guy that everyone liked because he believed being liked comes with power. ranboo does not necessarily want to be well liked by everyone, but he wants to at least be neutral so he does do things in order to keep them on his side
conflict driven vs conflict averse
wilbur thrives on chaos and conflict, much like dream he is willing to manipulate situations. rqnboo does everything he possibly can to avoid it
cockiness vs insecurity
wilbur is obviously bold and arrogant. he thinks extremely highly of himself and the postions he does and could potentially hold. he is ruled by this factor and often does not think about the consquences of his rashly made decisions(thats not to say he isn't calculated or intelligent, he is, he just focuses on how things affect him rather than others)
means to an end vs no ulterior motives
all of ranboos bonds are strong because when he cares about people he does what he needs to to take care of them, they usually initiate out of instances of kindness, but he does not seem to expect anything in return. he cares about people because he loves them, nothing more nothing less. wilbur however while some of his relationships were initially based on care the motives became corrupted and its hard to say whether there are any relationships he has at this point that aren't ruled by some kind of benefit for him (my only guess for that would be phil)
similaries: paranoia, trust issues, secretiveness
ranboo and wilbur really are two sides of the same coin, yes they are opposites in a lot of aspects but despite the differences in their values orginate from the same place they jutted of in two completely different directions, they tried to solve the same issue in vastly different ways. ranboos paranoia was attempted to be solved by isolationism, while wilburs mainly tried to solve it through manipulation. ranboo pushed people away and wil tried to force them to be around. both backfired for them and caused them to retreat further into the paranoid states demonstrated by wilbur blowing up l'manburg and ranboo catastrophizing with hearing dreams voice.
I think wilbur's main contenion with ranboo resides in wilbur thinking ranboo glazes through life easily, and that they disagree on what morals means. being more confrontational does not mean you are more or less moral than another person. wilbur does not understand that differing morals does not equal none at all.
I don't think their relationship is going to act as an antagonist because while ranboo is actively keeping an eye on wilbur it wouldn't really make sense for ranboo to suddenly be more confrontational. I know a lot of people are citing the Burr vs Hamilton relationship as parallels in their dynamicI want to remind you that narrative foils are not conflicting in nature. conflict can happen. but the point of them is to highlight the differences in character traits.
likening to burr vs hamilton
burr wanted power but he wanted it to come to him vs hamilton wanting power and actively chasing it
yes this makes sense for wilbur, but it doesnt for ranboo. ranboo doesn't want power. he never has. the reason burr waits on the sidelinesnis cause he is waiting for the chance to act, but ranboo is not waiting for something to happen, in fact he would rather have the exact opposite, for things to be as uneventful as possible.
"Hamilton’s success at the expense of his personal life is countered by Burr’s relative lack of success and his happy family life. Both of these are directly due to the two’s differing goals and approaches to life. Burr and Hamilton are two side of the same coin, opposite results with the same starting conditions."
source
this is exactly what I referenced earlier between the two. ranboo cares about family, wilbur about career. while a lot of their behavior originated from a similar place, their paths rapidly diverged.
hamilton's downfall at burr's hand
i'm gonna be honest i find it extremely hard to believe that a situation will exist where wilbur waits and ranboo acts. however, if one does i still firmly believe it will be revolving around (likely in defense of) the people ranboo loves and cares about, specifically michael, tommy, tubbo. it would be where he is cementing his views of choosing people. but wilbur being hesitant is still difficult for me to think of a scenario on which he would that hesitant? for it to be his downfall?
important to note: ghostbur did also akin ranboo to burr so it is definitely possible that this dynamic is going to countinue to playout in the future
I will shut up now thank you for reading. reminder that this is just my interpretation and analysis, obviously looking at different details could lead to different conclusions. i'm super willing to discuss as long as we are both going to be respectful of each others opinions and courteous <3
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seijorhi · 3 years
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asks :))
what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...
What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen
it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha
Just read nostos-
First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳
Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼
ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)
you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty
Omfg that fic was so good!
Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)
Looking forward to your future work <3
ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33
You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!
The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*
A+++++
ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha
I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome
fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha
I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou
ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha
OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕
TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha
Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫
tysm nonnie!!! <33
i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though
bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha
Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now
lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol
your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them
thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader
RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again
‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!
Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.
(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)
Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do
-🥚
GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!
Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld
poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha
Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &
This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin
i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha
That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are
TYSM NONNIE!!! <33
Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---
Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.
Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...
https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ
Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)
~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸
i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby
idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics
i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you
Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!
he most certainly did :))
LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.
id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️
EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh
Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )
To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅
ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺
I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao
kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!
You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.
🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨
After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤
choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌
what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?
(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)
i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))
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standarrow · 4 years
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abbacchio essay under the cut because he’s so important to me (god this is so long im sorry i have adhd i hope this is readable<3)
tl;dr being on how i think he healed and handled up until part 5 :”) + thoughts on his relationship to the team
tw!!! for all of the usual things that pertain to his backstory including: [death, alcohol abuse, police, ptsd/depression, etc]
i may be projecting<3 its fine
to start:
im not a fan of the way a lot of people handle handle abbas trauma and illness. the "entering a relationship fixes your problems<3" shit. or the romanticization of depression...i see both a lot, along with utilizing his substance issues as like a catalyst. i dont have to say why that shit isnt ok or healthy.
getting into it (because i want it to be this deep):
there is ... a lot of guilt that he shoulders around the death of his partner. someone he was friends with (and relied on him as a literal partner) died because He fucked up. that person wanted to protect him and died selflessly while he'd broken his own morals and he feels like it should have been him to pay for it. 
but he wasnt. and now he suddenly has two mistakes and blood on his hands. getting fired doesnt even Begin to fix that, so he withdraws because he cant trust himself, cant trust the institution he was already disillusioned from, and imo hes angry that he didnt get punished worse for his own crimes (but cops always get off easy)
bruno finds him in the worst place of his life and gives him a chance to put schedule in his life, to protect even if its not in the way he originally thought he would. he still doesnt trust himself, i do not think he takes to working with a partner easily (what if he fucks up again. he'll get bruno/narancia/fugo killed.) and i think that reflects in why moody blues isnt meant for combat. combat = danger. 
obligatory moody blues being an allegory for his trauma and ptsd surrounding the death of his partner.. constantly haunted by his own mistake and reliving that moment. heavily referencing his wish to redo, to know every detail of that prick he let bribe him that killed his partner, to have Control. because abbacchio isnt really about The Moment -- he's making sure the Moment doesnt have a chance to come to fruition. its nipping it in the bud before the weed can kill. he wants to make sure he can figure out whats going on First and protect. to figure out past events and prevent future danger.
starting to heal:
i’ve done a timeline previously: he graduates high school in 1998, six months for the police academy, 6 months before hes out again.. joins passione in december (rainy season) of 1999, and by december of 2000 (~4 months before part 5) hes like.... well. doing better in terms of his alcoholism. we see abbacchio by part 5 occasionally and seemingly comfortably enjoying a glass or two, which speaks that after some time working hes sort gained some..... confidence in his ability to keep his intake low. 
working for bruno means he cant drink as often or binge as much, hes needed and that structure keeps him in check, its not easy and yes he slips but its about and overall upwards climb because any progress is good progress... he builds a rapport with the team, comes to appreciate brunos role in giving him a chance and some peace of mind, sees himself in fugo, treats narancia like a little brother. relationships with others cant Fix your problems but friendship and structure can help, they can be there when you need it.
hes starting to trust himself more. and his relationship to fugo and nara were as crucial as his one with bruno is.
in purple haze feedback we see that he's been teamed up with fugo, and he knows fugos stand ability very well (see mirror man fight)... they Get each other and abbacchio sees a lot of his anger and distrust at himself in fugo, and easily calms fugo down when he gets upset (see mirror man episode in the car) 
fugo helped him trust himself and others more .. that other people arent Fragile and arent going to die on him every time they get into danger and its not His fault. he relies on fugo and vice versa. the kid is powerful but also a smart tactician and extremely capable. they Get each other and it helps abbacchio trust himself in combat situations and helps calm his paranoia about getting someone killed while working ... and nara is just sunshine. hes an annoying little brother but it helps him retain normalcy. some sense of like. not everything is doom and gloom
his depression and general self? depreciation perhaps doesnt leave him because those kinds of thoughts mould your brain a certain way.. they dont just go away without some work. but perhaps time with bruno helps him start to realise his worth, the way the team appreciates him and his ability. his self consciousness can start to fall away a little bit. i think by the time december of 2000 (a year after his recruitment by my timeline) hes like... a lot more comfortable with the schedule of his life, it helps him get out of bed, gives his brain a structure to latch onto. the responsibility of overseeing the younger ones and helping bruno gives him the sort of hope for this original goal of wanting to protect
@ bruno (in a more romantic sense perhaps + why i think he distrusts giorno so much)
his relationship to bruno isnt fucking “godlike savior<3″ because thats.... needless to say Very unhealthy. 
their relationship doesnt reach a point by where i think Either would even want to enter a relationship until about a year in (~4 months before part 5 begins)... theres a certain uncertainty i think bruno has with wanting to help abbacchio, he respects and cares about the other man and canonically sees him as his senior.. and i think theres a certain wall there that bruno isnt sure he wants to try to knock down, meanwhile abbacchio isnt sure when he built those walls but theyre safe (and what happens if you try to reach out?)
i think they sort of fall into it and its not... planned. its a little impulsive but it feels natural and they help each other because bruno is this comfort to abba, is the reason he has this structure and has made this progress himself and hes not....crediting it all to bruno obviously but bruno did play a Large Role. and bruno is all about little white lies, appearances. Yes hes fine. Dont worry, he has things under control. 
and i think to an extent abbacchio knows of brunos softer spots (as does fugo, bc of the reason he and fugo team up as described in phf is to protect him) but abba doesnt realise to the extent that bruno is .... hiding his real fears. brunos a lot about compartmentalization (hi zippers) and being let into brunos internal... thoughts beyond the occasional worries he mightve shared is a big step for them. bruno buries a lot of his internal problems and worries. he has to. hes got to keep moving, keep working; people rely on him... but abbacchio is the person he doesnt feel like he needs to protect because theyre equals and maybe he can let someone in to shoulder his worries and vice versa. theyre partners.
which is why i think abbacchio initially distrusts giorno so much... its not tht he doesnt trust bruno, but bruno doesnt Tell him about this. he realizes he might not know all brunos fears (specifically @ his distate and hate towards the mafia i made the point about in the bruno isnt evil post where its like.. he Couldntve shared that information, otherwise he would endanger abbacchio)
and it scares him. it freaks him the fuck out because he doesnt understand who this kid is or why bruno trusts him so much but he trusts bruno so he goes with it, even if he doesnt Understand.
anyways thts my TEDtalk ty i love you for reading this if you got here<3
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