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#K8's Art
hurricanek8art · 6 months
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Okay, I don't know what's going on with Tumblr and everything has been absolute chaos with my life the past few months, so y'know what, screw it. I think I'm actually brave enough to share some of my art. At least it won't just be sitting on my tablet that way.
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This is my Sith Inquisitor turned Force-sensitive Outcast from SWTOR, Roodaka Greatstorm-Kallig. I haven't really plotted everything out with her regarding her story, but she's not my Outlander. She leaves the Empire right after Ziost, after losing all of the family she'd used her Dark Council connections to find and save from slavery, and Lana recruits her to help Sana-Rae run the Enclave about two years before the Outlander (my Knight Aja Verdona) is rescued. She's prickly and petty and spiteful but I love her dearly. And because I've never posted art before, art process and a little bit of character lore ramble under the cut, I guess?
I usually work with lined art/sketches that are admittedly very messy, but when I did the first one back in May I was experimenting with actually rendering/painting, and I saw a fashion post thing that looked like something Roo would wear, so I was mostly just playing around, it's not a solid outfit design for her. It's janky and wonky and oh Lord please don't look closely at the anatomy or face it is not up to my usual standards, but I was so proud of myself for the lighting on this one, as well as how I managed to render the muscle. Like, the lighting! I have no idea what I'm doing but I think it looks so flipping good! And I was happy with how the crackly lightsaber blade turned out—it is supposed to be Aloysius Kallig's lightsaber, meaning it's at least over a thousand years old, right? It should be a little janky with age!
The second one is supposed to be post Fallen Empire, after she's left the Sith and become sort of a wandering Force-user—think Ahsoka as of, well... Ahsoka, but more on the side of Ventress if she'd survived TCW (don't get me started on that choice 🙄🙄🙄). I came into it knowing a little more of what I was doing, but I kinda got in over my head and gave up on the 100% lineless thing, you can definitely tell with the sword/clothes. 🥴 The second piece has been sitting unfinished in my WIP folder for months, so I just said screw it, finished up some details and called it because I am SO PROUD of her face and hands (I DREW A GOOD HAND WITHOUT LINEART WHO AM I?!?!) and how I rendered her skin, I don't want it to live in WIP purgatory forever. You can actually tell that's muscle! And a neck!
I'm proud of how her tattoos turned out, too. I played around with Cham Syndulla's tattoo pattern, turning it at different angles. It felt like a good way to root her in Twi'lek culture despite the Kallig bloodline having been separated from it for so long. She gets the first one to cover up a slave tattoo, and the rest after Ziost to further reclaim her identity and culture, leaving the Sith behind.
I have no idea how to close this post. Um... thanks for reading all this, if you have? I've never posted art before, I'm kinda terrified. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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best-underrated-anime · 3 months
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Best Underrated Anime Group K Round 2: #K5 vs #K8
#K5: Adopted magical girl learns to love, live, and also fight
#K8: Fishing with friends (both human & alien)
Details and poll under the cut!
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#K5: Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha ViVid
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Summary:
Vivio Takamachi, a Sankt Kaiser royalty of ancient Belka, was previously subjected to mistreatment. Fortunately, she now lives a peaceful life with family and friends while practicing martial arts with her coach, Nove Nakajima. However, Vivio soon becomes the target of the mysterious fighter Heidi E. S. Ingvalt, who demands Nove to reveal the location of the ancient Belkan royals. Refusing to disclose this information, Nove finds herself in a losing battle, but Heidi soon falls unconscious. In addition, Nove discovers Heidi’s true identity to be a middle school student named Einhald Stratos.
When she regains consciousness, Einhald clarifies that she has no animosity toward ancient Belkan royals. Having inherited the passion to defend and harboring regretful memories of her ancestor, the ancient Belkan ruler Claus Ingvalt, she simply wants to prove that her fighting ability is strong enough to protect others. Intrigued by the girl's situation, Nove arranges for Einhald to meet with Vivio. Although they get off to an unconventional start, Vivio enthusiastically trains with Einhald, assisting her in finding peace of mind while developing a vivid friendship along the way.
Propaganda:
It’s such an interesting setting, like it’s so fucking weird and I love it despite the queerbaiting. But basically these two magical girls retire ro run a dojo and adopt another magical girl who was abused. It focuses on the abused kid (previous series focused on the two magical girls) and that kid learning to be a kid and fight not for survival but like fun, and making friends and having a family they trust. All while in a sci-fi magical world with some fascinating and enjoyable world building. It has flaws, but for me the setting and characters make up for the sometimes misogynistic additions.
Trigger Warnings: Child Abuse, Gender Identity/Sexuality Discrimination
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#K8: Tsuritama
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Summary:
Yuki Sanada has always felt like a fish out of water. Socially awkward and anxious, he struggles to fit in with his surroundings and moves from town to town with his grandma. As he and his grandma settle into the charming seaside town of Enoshima, Yuki hopes for a fresh start. However, his reputation at school is jeopardized by the arrival of fellow transfer student Haru. The eccentric Haru immediately makes a splash, wildly claiming to be an alien and declaring that Yuki is his friend. Pairing the reluctant Yuki with their classmate and fishing talent, Natsuki Usami, he tasks both of them with the absurd mission of saving the world from a mysterious threat in the ocean. Mischief and hijinks ensue, as these three embark on a whimsical adventure filled with laughs, heart, and self-discovery!
Propaganda 1:
Tsuritama is a heartfelt show about learning to cope with anxiety by building confidence through learning new skills (fishing). It’s also about learning to be vulnerable with others and rely on them. The soundtrack is almost entirely recorder, as they asked the Kuricorder Quartet to put it together for the show. On top of that, the color scheme is very bright and hopeful.
Propaganda 2:
This show left me feeling both happy and incredibly emotional. It started off very goofy but really reels you in (get it? Reels?) and becomes quite an emotional journey at the end. Also, the art style is really beautiful and colorful and the opening is a bop!
Trigger Warnings: None.
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When reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.
If you want to criticize one of the shows above to give the one you’re rooting for an advantage, then do so constructively. I do not tolerate groundless hate or slander on this blog. If I catch you doing such a thing in the notes, be it in the tags or reblogs, I will block you.
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Know one of the shows above and not satisfied with how it’s presented in this tournament? Just fill up this form, where you can submit revisions for taglines, propaganda, trigger warnings, and/or video.
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workin on somethin !!! there's a long way to go but this is just a sneak peak of what i've got goin so far!!
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ca-3 · 3 years
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So happy to see them together in the Servamp White Day collection 💚🧡 I had to draw them in their outfits!
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beanmaster-pika · 3 years
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Some trivia for ya! I used the english localization’s tree theme for “Professor Cherry,” and there’s twofold reasons for it: first is that cherry wood are among common coffin woods, and second is that (according to google translate and a fic I read once) 樱(Yīng) in 樱桃(cherry) is a homophone for 婴(Yīng) in Wei Wuxian’s personal name.
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Tracer has two components to her chronal accelerator.
The first, called the “Chronal Anchor”, is a small power core that keeps her atoms stabilized in the present. The second, known as the “Chronal Accelerator”, allows her to bend her own timeline to her own (or a superior’s) will. 
The overall design on the contraption looks like two funnels connected by a small cylinder core. The cylinder, or Chronal Anchor, is buried beside Tracer’s heart, and the cones protruding from either flat side of the Anchor is the accelerator. We only see the large red circle of light, because that would be the base of the cone. 
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The Chronal Accelerator is also connected to a main wireframe hidden in one of the medical labs at Talon’s base of operations. Just in case Tracer doesn’t behave as obedient as she normally would, this machine grants the power to slowly destabilize her molecules so that she feels herself...
gently...
...slipping...
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duchessanon · 2 years
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Most batshit royal moments of 2021
For @intercolorum
6. Andy still not being behind bars. Truly batshit.
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5. The name Lilibet - I didn’t rly digest this at the time. But they rly called the bb Lilibet and Liz rly denied they asked her permission. Lmaooooo poor little bb.
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4. Diana The Musical. Of all the award chasing “art” of a woman who’s been dead for 20 years dressed up as arty farty tellings of her story that get the tik tok generation screaming about Chuck the asshole, the Musical was the best! Ok I haven’t seen the K Stew but nothing could beat the lyrics and musicality of this incredible work.
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3. Ms Fergie writing a Mills and Boon and there being no nethers action in it. Disappointment of the year.
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2. Goodbye Philpot - idk if u can call an old man’s inevitable death batshit, but it’s pretty batshit when a royal dies. The funeral was a whole 3 act theatre production, royals crying, Liz sitting alone, Henri and Willy caught on camera talking for 30 seconds.
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1. Oprah - the memes, the revelations, the drags, the unnamed racist(s), Henris suit, the k8 shade. Exceeded expectations. Thank u Megri.
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Special mention to Henris autobiography (it’ll feature next year), Jason’s Knife in the back, Carolyns ongoing missing story.
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mqlaren · 2 years
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babes, i need to SCREAM about this to someone. so buckle up because the chaos will blow you away
a close-ish friend from senior year of high school got a tattoo of something i drew in their yearbook. and i forgot what i drew! (it’s been like three years) and when they sent my a photo of their tat, i couldn’t make sense of it! so i was just like, “the line work looks gr8! *thumbs up* 😬”
to be fair i kinda want a tat of a heart they drew for me, but also i’m still reeling over the fact that my INDISCERNIBLE art is in someone’s body!
- k8’s vanon
That means ur loved g, the impact u have on ur friends life is more than u know
In West Africa there is a spiritual link in tattoos, it's a sign of ur tribe
Ur mate probably didn't deep it that far but it still means a lot tbh
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amazingphil · 4 years
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GREEN SCREEN VIDEO TIME
Hi guys! So, this might go HORRIBLY WRONG but for my next video I’m going to be reacting to your green screen edits.
Use the photos below or these videos: https://www.dropbox.com/s/h2jifdxr4wxrqku/green%20screen%20final.mov?dl=0 to make something funny/scary/weird and let your creativity go wild!
Upload your submissions (whatever they may be) and tag them with #greenscreenphil either here or on twitter - pls only use fan art if it is yours! I’ll be reacting on Friday so please send them in before that and I ..look forward to seeing what you create 😬
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If the dropbox gets too popular and expires here are the vids on youtube to download: https://youtu.be/bE_noaqe-k8
And here are transparent .pngs of the photos for your convenience: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ny0j0sbcgz5xskn/AABOvEgcQYgiYMmUf02pBtVba?dl=0
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hurricanek8art · 5 months
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I was cleaning up some old boxes and stuff during a major depressive episode yesterday (like really bad, I don't want to talk about it with anyone but my therapist kind of episode, if ya wanna send prayer/good vibes/whatever you're comfortable with I'm not protesting y'know?) and. and guys.
I FOUND ALL BUT ONE OF MY FIRST SIX SKETCHBOOKS. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Seriously. All but Sketchbook #2. Nearly every drawing I made from around Christmas 2011 to 2014. Baby's first fan art is in there. Baby's first OCs are in there. I hadn't been able to find these in ages, I thought they got lost in one of the moves! And now I keep looking at them and sobbing because the 12-year-old me that drew this stuff would combust if she saw my art now. Like the Inquisitor pieces from a few days ago? Holy @%!$ I never dreamed I could do something like that. Just—here, look!
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Left is basically my first SW OC from 12/23/11, and right is a WIP of my SWTOR Jedi Knight I've been fiddling with the past week or so. They're not the same character but I realized a few months ago that Aja (my Knight) basically evolved from said OC subconsciously. I woulda picked something finished for Aja but the face/anatomy on this one are already done, it's just the outfit that's the WIP, and I love it so much already, that's her.
Look at that, though. I have fine motor skill control issues because of my autism/dyspraxia. Art has been hard for me. And I had a tendency to beat myself up over not progressing as fast as other artist my age seemed to. But look at where I started from versus where I am now, almost 12 years later. I've grown so much. I'm still growing. I think something in me healed, just a little. 😭😭😭
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ardenttheories · 4 years
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K8 has been toxic
Actually K8’s toxicity has predated the epilogues 
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This was still a thing when I joined the fandom around 2013, so its not solely the epilogues creation that started K8’s hatred and malice towards fans, especially fans of Makaras. (I also received death threats and gore during that period and remember lots of people accusing Gamzee/Makara fans to be abusive.)
In case the text doesn’t load, or you can’t read the text because Tumblr decides to fuck with the resolution, the screenshot says:
“hey i saw your post on kate and just wanted to add something she and a large part of the pesterquest team have largely ignored or (at least in kate’s case) seemed to think was appropriate or fucking funny, but i’d rather keep this anonymous because i’m already stressed and tired about posting the issues i had with some shit in pesterquest on my art platforms. the entire gamzee fans are misogynists, transphobes, abelists or whatever has a LOT of nasty connotations to what’s gone down on a few sites (msparp and tumblr in particular) - it’s calmed down now as far as i know but it’s still a huge gaping wound. most of the people i follow/were close to who like gamzee, or even just made content of him were sent an onslaught of mutilated infants with the message ‘kill yourself clownfucker :o)’ on it. the ones of us who were sent that shit (myself included) had said multiple times that we were either lgbt, mentally ill, or abuse victims. like i don’t give a shit about the vriska argument it’s fucking boring but acting like gamzee fans are pure evil and totally misogynistic, abelist or lgbtphobic in the context of that shit is kinda, not great. she’s in an elevated position and it’s fueling the idea that it was okay when shelby already pushed that so much onto people. it’s so disgusting having another dodgy official person shit on you when you’re literally been sent gore to try and trigger you into suicide.”
And I absolutely should not need to go into why an official voice on the Homestuck team - or even several of them, considering they mostly ignored his - laughing at people being sent fucking gore in an attempt to suicide bait fans of a character is a really bad thing.
Suicide baiting is never okay. Under any circumstance. Let alone over people who like a character, or make content for a character, whose only difference from a fan favourite is that he’s male and severely mentally ill coded (which clearly means that Gamzee can never be forgiven and his fans are evil, while Vriska is allowed to go completely scott free and her fans are martyred). 
Being an official voice for the fandom who then laughs at this - who finds it funny that someone has been suicide baited over a fictional character - when you can’t even handle someone trying to point out that your own favourite is a terrible person without calling them a transphobe... is just wrong on so many levels. I don’t care how much you hate a character. I don’t care how terrible you think they are. You do not, for ANY reason, laugh when someone is sent gore and told to kill themself. That is fucking sick. That is actively disgusting. And your lack of commentary against such actions - your active enjoyment OF them - is only going to perpetuate and encourage a repeat. 
People who like Gamzee aren’t inherently transphobes, misonynists, and/or abelists. Just like how people who like Vriska aren’t inherently abuse apologists, abusers, or transphobes. People who like Gamzee often associate with him for, you know, the fact that he faced abuse and was coded with severe mental illness (such a psychosis), while also recognising that he did do some fucked up actions in the comic. The same way, again, that people who like Vriska often associate with her for the home abuse she suffered, the transfem coding written into her, and her big WLW vibes - while also recognising that she did some fucked up shit in the comic. 
I’m not entirely surprised that this predates the Epilogues, or even stretches that far back into the fandom’s timeline. In a way, I don’t even have it in me to be surprised that she helped to perpetuate the idea that Makara fans are inherently abusive without considering the rammifications of her own defence of Vriska as a transwoman who can do no wrong. But I am disgusted by the fact that nobody on the writing team thought this was worthwhile to talk about.
Official statements are so fucking important. Ensuring that people know what you, as an official voice, do and do not stand with is integral - because you can boost unheard voices so fucking much, and drown out any toxicity in the fandom. I genuinely don’t think it could be any clearer how fucked up that entire situation was. How bad it is that Kate, especially, found it funny. 
I’m also so sorry that anyone had to go through that. Especially when so many of you are abuse survivors, mentally ill, and/or LGBT+ - that’s horrific at the best of times, but especially when it can be highly triggering, and I’m so sorry that your fandom experience came down to that. I’m so sorry an official voice thought that was fucking okay. 
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nastasyafilippovnas · 3 years
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How dare you write an AU where K8's parents are alive and also kinder, more observant, and more progressive than the rest of the elitist ton! For shame! What were you thinking?!
I KNOW, RIGHT? I'm such an awful person. And btw, not that I need to justify myself, but the AU went like this: Mr. and Mrs. Sharma decide to go on European tour before settling back in England (so the girls can have their seasons), after spending most of their lives in India. They end up meeting with Siena in Milan where they watch one of Siena's performances at La Scala. Mrs. Sharma goes to her dressing room, gives her a bouquet of tulips and Siena notices "it was probably the first time she had such a high class lady in her backstage. Usually all she got were men coming after one specific thing". And then they insist on taking Siena out to dinner and, even though Mr. Sharma was usually quiet, he got talkative after a few glasses of brandy and told her stories of the Mahabarata and of his childhood in India. Siena loves him. And basically they all become great friends and the whole week the Sharmas are in Milan, Siena is with them, visiting museums and art galleries. And that's it. That's what I wrote. Can't believe I ever had it in me to write something so offensive.
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this video was created by @meiple0219z on twitter!!  i contacted them to get permission to repost because i wanted to share So badly,, their art is so amazing and this song fits sanster so well 😭😭😭
the original tweet is here.   if you’re over 18 and like sanster, definitely go follow this artist if you have a twitter!! they post tons of really amazing stuff :)
the song in this video is world.execute(me); by Mili
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murumokirby360 · 3 years
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The new XP-Pen PenTablet ver. 3.0.5 Windows Software for my XP-Pen Deco 01 V2 [Nov 11,2020]
Hi, time to discuss my experience of using the new XP-Pen PenTablet ver. 3.0.5 for my XP-Pen Deco 01 V2 on Windows 10 PC Desktop.😊🖊️📝
BTW: If you haven’t seen or watch my first time recorded computer video via VLC, then please - [CLICK ME!].
Keep in mind this version is a  “New UI Beta Driver” according to the XP-Pen’s official website download support. So I’m not sure that this is the final driver though, but for now I’ll take it then.🤔
So without further ado, let’s get started:
1st Image: • Before that, I took a picture of my new home computer with my drawing/graphics tablet always placed on the low side, while my Silvertec wireless keyboard was on the other side without my laptop at any site or place because I completely removed from my desk, also when I’m done using the tablet my wireless keyboard always put the low side. Which is where it should be, so I’m hoping that I will try my tablet on the top side and see what’s the difference.⌨️📋📝🙂
Screenshot(s): • Nonetheless, here’s the new look of the PenTablet Windows software looks like. The old version of Pentablet used to have a ‘Pen Settings’ and ‘Work Area’ in one window (on my Windows 7 OS) but now it became a separate per each tab including ‘Express Keys’.
• All of them are the same present settings from the old version. But there’s one feature that the new version didn’t have unlike the old version, and that is the ‘Tablet Light’ control from the ‘Express Keys’ setting; it’s a shame that XP-Pen developers removed that feature from the new version, but in my opinion I don’t need that anyway 🤷, at least the four corners from the tablet still lit up 💡 without adjusting it.
• On top of that, there’s a gear sign ⚙️setting located on the upper right corner beside minimize and close symbols. Here I can disable 'Messages’, ‘Express Keys’ and Passive Pen functions of ‘Pressure’ and ‘Tilt’ sensitivity. ‘Import’ & ‘Export’ configs are here and finally there’s a new one called ‘Diagnostic Tool’ which I’ll get to that later.
• Now on to the ‘Express Keys’ setting, I could see the default key setting from new one is different compare to the old one. Let me bring it down the list between the two:↓ 
Old PenTablet (on Win7 💻) - New PenTablet (on Win10 🖥️)
K1  🔘 Open Tablet Setting 💻- B Keyboard Key B 🖥️ K2 🔘 [Alt] 💻- E Eraser 🖥️ K3 🔘 [Space] 💻- Alt Eyedropper 🖥️ K4 🔘 [Ctrl+Z] 💻- Space Hand Tool 🖥️ K5 🔘 [Ctrl + ‘+’] (Zoom In) 💻- [Ctrl + Z] Undo 🖥️ K6 🔘 [Ctrl + ‘-’] 💻- [Ctrl + ‘+’] Zoom In 🖥️ K7 🔘 [B] 💻- [Ctrl + ‘-’] Zoom Out 🖥️ K8 🔘 [E] 💻 - [Show Control Panel] (PenTablet) 🖥️
•A minutes later, I decided to add my usual artwork software GIMP (2.10.22) for both ‘Pen Settings’ and ‘Express Keys’ at the application bar; strange that the ‘Pen Settings’ had now a application bar unlike the old one, even though I try to click the upper button from my stylus passive pen for changing Eraser to Ink Pen (and vice versa); it selects the Eclipse Select Tool rather than the actual Eraser when in my current GIMP art software (this is because the pen only supports well known art/paint software for instance ‘Adobe Photoshop’ series), otherwise I didn’t use it actually during my artwork process.🤷
•But hey at least the ‘Windows Ink’🖊️from Windows 10 works (after I enabled to ‘screen’ for both PenTablet Eraser and Stylus Pen in GIMP’s input devices [ver. 2.10.22]), and I can drag the cursor with my stylus passive pen unlike in Windows 7 version, so that’s a plus!😄 Yup you may noticed that it’s already checked meaning it’s enabled.😊
•Now as for the ‘Express Keys’ I did, I was gonna do the same custom keys as the old one but I decided want to customized a different, although some of which I did are doing a replicate key numbers as the old one (like I did to K3 & K4).🙂
•Now on to the ‘Diagnostic Tool’, mmmm this one seems new. This ‘Diagnostic Tool’ allows it to tell the information of any other devices that connected through computer. Sometimes this might actually useful for checking some errors, find problems and scans the devices hardware that may be disrupt the PC’s normal performance. And as such I don’t seen any problems between my tablet and PC, I even try to pressuring hard using my stylus passive pen through the tablet it only receives ‘8191′ level rate from the ‘current pressure sensitivity’ instead of ‘8192′ which is advertised. That’s something that never knew yet very close but no cigar (I think) 🤨, but nah 🤷.
•Finally on the lower part beside Fenix the Fox 🦊🖊️ (XP-Pen’s mascot), I can save my settings by clicking ‘OK’ or ‘cancel’ it my settings; so there’s that.
Well that’s for now. And in case you missed my related parts and accessories for my XP-Pen Deco 01 V2, then I’ve already provide some links down below. ↓ 😉
Previous: • Installation for the XP-Pen PenTablet ver. 3.0.5 for my XP-Pen Deco 01 V2 (record video using VLC media player) [Nov. 11,2020] • My XP-Pen PenTablet Window Software: ON and OFF Windows Ink difference - Windows 7 ver. (Oct. 15th, 2020) • XP-Pen PenTablet Window Software for my XP-Pen Deco 01 V2 (Aug 8, 2020) • Drawing art test with my XP-Pen Deco 01 V2 drawing - Part 2 (Aug 17, 2020) • My XP-Pen Deco 01 V2 Aftermath Usage (Aug 17, 2020) • My XP-Pen Deco 01 V2 drawing test with my GIMP 2.8.10 (Aug 17, 2020): Part 3 [3rd Attempt], Part 4 [4th Attempt] •Drawing art test with my XP-Pen Deco 01 V2 drawing: Part 1 (Aug 12, 2020) • My XP-Pen Deco 01 V2 drawing test with my GIMP 2.8.10 (Aug, 12, 2020): Part 1 [1st Attempt], Part 2 [2nd Attempt] • XP-Pen PenTablet Window Software for my XP-Pen Deco 01 V2 (Aug 8, 2020) • My XP-Pen Deco 01 V2 connecting computer laptop(Aug 8, 2020): Part 1 - [1st Attempt], Part 2 (Final) [2nd Attempt] • Installation steps for my XP-Pen Deco 01 V2 [Aug. 7,2020] • Accessories for my XP-Pen Deco 01 V2 [Jun 25,2020]: [Part 1], [Part 2] • Part 5 [May 8,2020] • Part 4 [May 1, 2020]: First Half, Second Half • Part 3 [Apr 22, 2020] • Part 2 [Apr 17, 2020] • Part 1 [ Apr 14, 2020] • Recorded video opening [Apr 10, 2020] • Unopened parcel/package [Apr 7, 2020]
Tagged: @lordromulus90, @bryan360, @carmenramcat, @bytern
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schroedingersk8 · 4 years
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First of all I want to thank you for this beautiful and interesting blog you have. I can imagine you have many requests for dating you. How do you know which one is sincere with you and worthy?
Answering as Miss K8 Morgan, of K8Morgan.com 
Hello, and thank you very much for reading and enjoying this interesting blog of mine! :) And my Twitter, too! And thank you for giving me this opportunity to #dommesplain a few things to my kind followers and readers… 
But back to your question, out of the many requests for dating that I get, how do I know which one is sincere with me and worthy?
Well, it is a good question, but I would expand the categories in it further. How do I know those requests are 
sincere, 
realistic, 
acceptable, and 
worthy. 
For better understanding of the selection process, let’s take a closer look at each category individually, and examine them in detail, shall we?
1. Sincerity 
I have this saying, “no one is more sincere than a man firm in his delusions.” This is ever-so-applicable to each and every stranger from the Internet who has ever written to me with an inquiry to date me… And even to some guys making such inquiries after meeting me a few times, here and there. What can I say, I believe that all of them are most sincere in their desires to date me, or someone like me, or the “me” they imagine – and even more sincere in using their offer to date me as a means to avoid paying my session or social fees. Sincerity is not a problem here, Delusion – or lack of realism – is! 
2. Realism
So how do I know when somebody is being realistic? I suppose in the same way you, or anyone else would know. It just requires some common sense. For example, no realistic message has ever started with, or included, the following:
“Hello, Mistress, I am a real no-limits slave. I will do anything you want [except booking a session and actually paying me for my time] but I think pro dommes only do things for money, but I am looking for someone to dominate me for free as part of a FemaleLed relationship” To this particular kind of drivel you can also add things like “…but I am still a virgin”, “…but I am still married” “…but I have never seen a Mistress before” and a plethora of similar verbal identifiers. 
“… I have an excellent life, career and social circle here in the [insert any US city] and am able to provide you with a life in which you wouldn’t have to work.” This particular statement is more common than you think, and is ALWAYS US-based. Somehow they seem to believe that we, here in Europe, suffer greatly from our free health care, non-GM, locally grown wholesome food, the quaint culture and history of our countries, the public transport and rights to privacy protection. And it implies that because the author of it is so “overwhelmingly generous” – with his words – I am going to drop everything: my job, my family, my life, my friends, sell my cats to the Circus, and move to the US, to be his…mail-order pet-bride??? Someone with no job, no independence, no voting rights and with a precarious immigration status. To be bored to injuries, until death do us part? NO THANKS!   
“…I am not rich and do not have a fancy car, a palace for a house and travelling for me more often includes a backpack and a tent – I appreciate simple things in life…” Say no more, bro! I, myself, appreciate finer things in life, the finer the better, and the only way you would see me with a backpack in a national park is if some psycho has killed me, stuffed me into that backpack and is carrying me to bury me in a shallow grave there. I like fancy cars, I like rare timepieces, I enjoy luxury travel, fine dining, fine wine, fine arts… As a matter of fact, I unapologetically love all things fanciful and complicated, and am not looking to change that any time soon.
“…and I probably do not make enough to have you as a GF, but I thought I’d try anyway.” Mate, I wish you didn’t. I hear your pain, I myself do not have enough to buy me a Lamborghini Aventador S. Not even a stinky Murcielago… And every morning I wake up, and I come to terms with this harsh, cruel, unfair reality. But never once have I written to a dealership to try to get one anyway! Luckily, you can still book a session to enjoy me for a limited amount of time, and I can still go to the dealership and stare to my heart’s delight…
“…I do not believe in having to pay to date…” What are you doing writing to me, then??? You might as well try and tell me that you believe Jesus loves me, and that Earth is flat… Keep your beliefs to yourself, mate, no one here has asked to hear them – or I swear to Jesus that loves me I will bring out my pie chart again!
These are some of the most common examples of my dating wannabes, but that list is truly endless and ever-growing. But what would, then, a realistic approach entail? I would say a situational self-evaluation study: what you do, where you live, how much free time and disposable income you have, how much of it are you willing to spend on dating, if we live in different cities how often can you travel, and how often you’d need me to travel, what you’d ideally like to achieve with this relationship, when you’d like it to start, and whether you prefer it as a permanent or a fixed term contract. There, no rocket science, is it?
3. Acceptability
But what, then, would be the acceptable terms for me to favorably consider an offer? I think the main factors would have to be:
geographical compatibility, 
time strain, and 
relationship goals. 
It is not a secret that I am in my mid-30es, so I am old, lazy, and by now I have visited most places I had an interest in. I no longer get excited about having to take a trans-Atlantic flight to see someone for a date because “we are going to see DisneyWorld!!!!!”. I stopped being excited about it some…20 years ago. 
There are only two places in the US I am interested in, one is New England – in autumn or in winter, and another is Portland, OR in spring/summer. Part of my education took place in New England (I do not specify where for privacy reasons, so do not ask), and I have spent some time in Oregon in later years, too, both those are two places very dear to my heart. The rest of the US: seen, done, not much interest to revisit. And very little interest to return to live in the US at this point in my life. 
Same goes for SE Asia and Middle East. Would consider visiting, would not consider moving. Would not consider having to take 4 connecting flights to reach the final destination. Would not consider getting stoned to death for being your house guest. 
If frequent travel is required on my part, then it will have to be somewhere within a 3hr flight radius from Paris. I do have my pet peeve places, i.e. London. If you are someone who has tried to get me to come to London for a tour before, you’d be familiar with my “not enough money in the world to make me suffer through that indignity!” rant. I have lived there for too long, as one can tell, and I only visit when I absolutely must, as in, for legal obligations, deaths or weddings. I am somewhat more ok with Edinburgh.
I do have my “preferred” list, too! This year it features Stockholm (love that northern gem and the Swedish boys!), Zurich, Frankfurt, Vienna, Salzburg, Paris and most of France (once the strikes are over!), and I would love to discover Tunisia, Morocco and Israel (as I have heard very good things), but I am open to suggestions as long as there are direct flights. 
As for time restraints, then really anything above cumulative 2 weeks per month is unreasonable. I want my space, and I want my time. You should want yours! If you want to have an overly-attached live-in GF – look elsewhere. I am all for fun and intense time together inter-twinned with time dedicated solely to work. A “weekend relationship” would work very well for me, for example.
And when it comes to relationship goals, I understand that these change with time. And I think a relationship with me would be good for someone single, successful and busy with his own professional life, who wants to enjoy some time with kinky stimulating company without having to buy into societal pre-sets. However, if the end goal is to get married and have 3 kids – once again, I am not the Droid you are looking for.
I would say I am an ideal life companion for a social renegade and adventurer whose end goal is the same as his intermediate aspirations – joy, stimulating fun and absolution from boredom and trivia. I will be wasted on others… 
4. Worthiness of the Offer. 
And how, then, do I decide if the offer is worth it? Well, this subject is reminiscent of my earlier post, 15. Let Me Draw You A Pie Chart, and the arising Mathematical solutions. As with any relationship, I expect to be better off with it than without it. The offer will have to consider the amount of travel necessary, the cost of it, and the cost of my time. But overall, I would say, for a successful candidate with an interesting offer, the cost of weekend-dating me, per month, for 3 weekends, one of them long, would more or less be the cost of booking a long weekend Private Tour with me at my work rate. Which may seem like a steal and it is certainly a bargain in relative terms, but it is an eye-watering amount of money, for most people, and it is definitely not available to just anyone. 
As the matters stand, tomorrow will be the first time in a year that I have agreed to hear out an offer from an existing client, and I do not know whether or not we will be able to reach a consensus on terms. Alas, such is #DommeLife 
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The Tales of FD (as told by the omniscient Tumblr Gods): Part 2
DISCLAIMER: Keep in mind this is a parody of Anti-Kate and Anti-Meghan tin-hatters, so anything that sounds negative for these two is a reference to them, not my actual opinions (ex: Doria’s fake name is a reference to the anti-MM crowd thinking Doria practices Voodoo without considering the racial implications).
Part 2: A Duke’s Lament
As Prince Harry surveyed the crowd of Britain’s finest philanthropists, he couldn’t help but sigh. So many fine people, with only him and Granny to serve as greeters. His father and Camilla were away, the former at an engagement opening a new tampon factory while the latter indulged in a pre-pre-pre- tour spa visit. Harry’s verbally abusive brother and Stepford wife had been invited to the event, in fact, Granny had begged them to go as she was clearly on her last legs. Alas, dear reader, one could never underestimate the pair’s inherent laziness. Instead of accompanying the near-death monarch, “Princess Marilyn” was getting her hair done in order to make the littlest cancer patients cry with envy while Baldy was pretending to work so he could helicopter away with his various mistresses.
Our Harry, however, was a man of duty to Queen and country, a duty instilled after his disastrous marriage to Media Meg: C-list Prostitute to the Stars. Oh, how he should have known better with her. Everyone could see the terrible match, including the most astute royal scholars: Tumblr bloggers and Daily Mail commenters. He had tried to kill the relationship in its proverbial cradle, breaking up with his media loving bit on the side after discovering that as an actress she had once filmed a sex scene, an act tantamount to porn. He had already fallen for another girl, whose name alluded him, but haunted his memory with her perfect complexion and short stature. However, when he tried to call the affair off, Media Meg had played her trump card (not as in the president who, as a supreme judge in character, saw through Meghan’s act immediately).
While getting Harry hooked on hard drugs, which innocent young Harry had never tried before, Meghan had stolen the hidden documents proving that Prince Philip had ordered the hit on Princess Diana. The documents, which Harry had for reasons he didn’t recall, threatened to bring down the monarchy. In exchange for not releasing the documents, Harry would promise to propose to Meghan, which he dutifully did with a ring he bought for $5.99 at a children’s store.
Now you might ask, dear reader, why the Queen didn’t step in right then and there. See, after the disaster of the Mattress entering the hallowed family, Her Majesty decided to let her grandchildren suffer for their poor choices in social climbing partners until they saw the light. It was a decision Harry’s nose candy dealer was mighty happy for.
Although Harry hoped to get out of the wedding, planning to call it off at the last minute, Media Meg insisted the show must go on. If she was going to be a royal-ex, she wanted the title to go with. Divorce was an old hat to her, as she had been married several times before (once publically and many others with the level of secrecy common in the witness protection program) and being an ex-Duchess offered many more money making opportunities. She already planned on a future show with Fergie: Behind Buckingham Palace with Meg and Fergie, which would be sponsored by Birks, The Wig Emporium, and Fake Sheikhs “R” Us and produced by her “close friend” Harvey.
That was where his botox filled ex-wife was now, shilling products with his former aunt and making a general mockery of the monarchy. She was joined by the two children she had forced on Harry (twins, of course, conceived via IVF due to Meg secretly being 57 and having had 32 abortions back in the day) Waity and WillNot, named after Harry’s abuser and his vapid wife. While God knew what went on in the studio, Harry lived with the knowledge he would disinherit Waity and WillNot to the fullest extent of the law. Though he had always yearned for children, these two reminded Harry of his disastrous marriage and he loathed to give their mother any more money, never mind his numerous doubts of paternity. As the saying goes, a C-List Prostitute to the Stars doesn’t change its STDs.
It was then that Harry’s heart stopped. Before him was an unassuming English Rose, conservatively dressed, with a manner that oozed class and regality. He made his way across the room to her, as if the stars themselves compelled him. When Harry tapped her on the shoulder, he was met with a startled look.
“Hello, I’m Harry”
The woman, in accordance with strict protocol, deeply curtsied, “Hello, your Royal Highness, I’m Fameadverseandinitfortherightreasons Devoidofapastoranybreachesofprotocol, but you can call me FD”.
“Please, call me Harry,” he replied. “So, FD, what brings you here”?
FD blushed in a manner that showed her immense humility and grace, “Her Majesty kindly invited me here. I run the BetterthanK8s Mental Health Charity, which helps children who have been negatively impacted by K8’s poor mental health advice.” Suddenly, remembering who she was talking to, FD blanched and ran a hand through her thick and natural hair. “Oh gosh, that’s your sister-in-law. I shouldn’t speak ill of her”
Harry chuckled at the response. “No, no, you’re right. She is an ill-informed bitch. Want to know a secret? I came up with doing a mental health initiative until she stole the idea so she and my brother could get more taxpayer money for a diamond-encrusted sink. Then they forced anyone with knowledge of the subject out so they could use all the money to buy too short dresses, too high heels, and hair plugs. Typically lazy asses”.
The response allowed FD to feel more at ease. It was what she had assumed, but she had not wished to argue with a prince, for reasons of protocol. However, that was the only realm where his title mattered. For her, there would be no allure or selfish desire to “bag” a prince. “I have to thank you for offering to visit our facility. I’m so sorry that it hasn’t worked out in the past”.
Oh yeah, Harry suddenly remembered, he had been tasked with visiting FD’s wonderful charity several times, only for last minute cancellations to occur. “It’s okay, I’m sure you had a good reason”.
“Yeah,” FD responded, “every time you were sent to come I’d suddenly get violent food poisoning. Since I’m the only employee, obviously the visit couldn’t go through”.
At that, Harry mourned the fact he hadn’t been able to meet the beautiful, charming, and regal FD earlier, and he immediately had a theory as to why. His ex-wife always said her mother was a bit of a hippie, and clearly, that meant she practiced sorcery. Could  Ms. VodooQueenbuttotallynotinaracistwayweswear, knowing her daughter’s desire to make money off a royal title, have seen FD as a threat to her Media Meg’s goal and practiced the dark arts to prevent FD and Harry from meeting?
Either way, Harry was determined to make up for lost time and ask FD out on a date. His only worry was that, after Media Meg and Waity and WillNot, FD would see him as used goods, a pre-chewed piece of gum used up by its former owner. What woman would want a handsome and wealthy prince after all that? Despite the uncertainty, Harry finally asked the long-awaited question “FD, would you do the eternal honor of courting me”?
Luckily for Harry, if there was one thing FD loved, it was charity. She saw the raw corpse of the many as a basket of potential, through which she could shape a man worthy of the title “Prince of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland”. When FD saw the opportunity to help this poor lost soul, she immediately said “Yes”.
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