Phineas and Ferb: Star Wars headcanon: Heinz and Charlene Doofenschmirtz (which I also headcanon is the family’s real surname - Heinz just changed his to misguidedly imitate the Sith) are technically neither divorced or married, because Charlene is legally dead and living under a fake name as Vanessa’s adoptive legal guardian. Only Heinz and Vanessa know the truth. Charlene still likes Heinz as a person and doesn’t believe that he’s really evil. So why did the friendly ‘exes’ arrange this? Well, they have a few… convoluted reasons.
Heinz: When I first set my mind
Upon galactic domination
I said, “Dear, let’s rule together
You deserve a higher station”
Charlene: But I’ve never cared for politics
Or glory, so I vowed
That he could choose between his power
And making his wife proud
Heinz: Well, as her loving husband
I saw just one thing to do
I took a walk to cool off
Charlene: And we talked the matter through
We had to split, but a divorce
Would take six long months at least
That’s one convoluted reason
I pretend to be deceased
Both: We don’t hold each other back
From incompatible dreams
Heinz: It seems another tragic loss
Can motivate my schemes
Charlene: Neither Imperials nor Rebels
Resent the new life that I’ve made
Heinz: And our child’s in her protection
Both: Plus, no alimony’s paid
Charlene: We don’t agree on restaurants
Or where to holiday
Heinz: But now for those activities
We go our separate ways
Both: Absence makes our hearts grow fonder
Stress and boredom so decreased
Charlene: All the convoluted reasons
I pretend to be deceased
Darth Vader, who they’ve been explaining this to after he caught them together:
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Do you guys think that star wars!ferb remembers being a sith. Do you think it ever weighs on him just how close he was to killing phineas. Do you think the reason he asked phineas to join him when he was evil was because even subconsciously ferb can't stand the idea of them being separated or fighting. Do you think it haunts him. Do you think he ever looks at phineas differently. As if he's dead already. As if it's ferbs fault. Do you think he ever looks at Perry and is somehow glad it was him who turned and not Perry because how could anyone stand to fight their family on the side of good. If he's evil then it doesn't matter much because his siblings (siblings!! He's got a sister now!! Don't think about how the first thing she saw you doing was attacking her brother-) are so, so good they could light the universe up just with their smiles alone. Do you think it haunts him. Does he ever look at yellow and flinch.
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something something about how star wars candace has to leave her brothers behind to join the empire and then immediately finds two new little boys their age to take care of instead
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Made an old(ish) doodle into an actual piece!!
I've been binging PnF again surprise surprise lol. I'm such a fan of the friendship Perry and the boys have in the Star Wars bit <3
Alt version under cut!!
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i love star wars!isabella's design but the goggles up on her head being the shape of her hairbow is my favorite part it's so good
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