#SASHA I FINALLY FINISHED IT | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bcdrawsandwrites · 8 months

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[ID: The first image Psychonauts fanfic banner on a black-to-gray gradient background. On the left in white text it says “Prompt #6: Organ Theft” On the right is a bright green animated figment of a brain in a glass case. The top of the glass case is labeled "PREZ" and the base is labeled "NO TOUCH." The figment is based on one of the images from the Milla's Adventures! memory vault.

The second image is a Bad Things Happen Bingo card. Various prompts are marked with a half-brain (prompt requested but not filled) or full-brain (prompt requested and finished) symbol, while the “Organ Theft” prompt specifically is marked with a full brain symbol. /end ID]

FINALLY WE'RE BACK!! This one took me WAY too long, but here's the next fic in my @badthingshappenbingo challenge!

I am currently NO LONGER OPEN FOR REQUESTS. I have enough to work on to get a bingo! I MAY decide to reopen prompts later if I want to keep going after finishing these fics, but for now, requests are closed!

This request is for @of-science-and-stars! Sorry this took so long, and hope you enjoy! Thanks to @jaywings and @pinkygrocket for beta-reading!

Prompt: Organ Theft Characters: Sasha Nein, Milla Vodello, Ford Cruller Warnings: None

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The doors leading into Sasha's lab slid open, and he trudged through them, making his way to his office, then all but collapsed down onto his couch. Automatically, he TK'd a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it with pyrokinesis, and he tipped his head back to stare at the ceiling. He took a slow drag, sighing through his nose and watching the smoke spiral toward the ceiling.

He truly enjoyed his work. But there were some days that made him wish he had a different job—one that didn’t leave mental and emotional burdens weighing heavily on his shoulders.

Soon the first cigarette was smoked down to the filter. Into the ashtray it went, and it was swiftly replaced with another.

It was days like this that made him wish that he had never taken Ford up on his offer to join the Psychonauts when he had run into him so long ago. Of course, deep down he knew it was the best decision he'd ever made, and that mental exhaustion was causing his emotions to behave irrationally, but right now, that knowledge did nothing to change how he felt. As the events of the past several hours played out again in his mind, he sank lower into his couch. Truly this was one of the worst days of his career.

It could not possibly get worse.

If Hollis would no longer allow him to wear what he chose, then—

Shoehorn, Dustpan, this is Grease Jar.

Sasha jolted upright, scrambling to TK-grab his dropped cigarette before it burned the couch.

Got an important mission that's slipped through the cracks. U.S. government's deemed it too unimportant, but the entirety of Country's future is on the line if we don't do something.

Rubbing his forehead, Sasha wondered if Ford had misspoke. Before he could comment, Milla chimed in:

Of course, Grease Jar. Shoehorn and I would be happy to help. What's the trouble?

President's been captured.

What? That had to be wrong—how could that have slipped through the cracks? Are you sure?

Do I ever contact you when I'm not? You gonna help or what?

Well, he couldn't argue with that. ...Yes, he replied. We're ready.

Great. I'm getting things set up on my end. Paperwork will be handled as usual. Gimme a minute and I'll get you ready for transport.

Very well. Just... warn us this time, please. You recall how last time went.

You were fine, son. I know how to use the heimlich, and I can do it again if I need to.

He could feel Milla's gentle laugh, and he couldn't be too upset.

For a few moments he sat in his office, putting out his cigarette and straightening his jacket. Ford didn't like to waste time, so he'd likely be here any minute. Sighing, he stood up to stretch—

—and just as he realized one critical error he'd made, someone abruptly appeared next to him, grabbed his shoulder, and with a yank, he was out of his office.

—-

Sasha stumbled in the sudden dim light. The beeps and chirps from the nearby consoles weren't unfamiliar to him, but the use of teleportation was always jarring.

With a rush of green psychic energy, Ford and Milla appeared next to him. Nodding in satisfaction, Ford clapped both of them on the back. "Good to see you two out here to visit an old coot again."

"You know you're much more than that to us, Agent Cruller," Milla said with a smile.

"Pshaw." Ford waved a hand. "I didn't bring you here to get all sappy on me, anyway." He glanced over at Sasha, then blinked, one of his bushy brows raising. "Didn't take you out here for a vacation, either."

Milla followed his gaze, then covered her mouth to stifle a giggle. Meanwhile, Sasha looked away, shuffling his feet in his very comfortable pair of socks and sandals.

Shaking his head, Ford strode over to a console and tapped in a few keys, bringing up holographic images around the platform they stood upon. The first depicted a map of the globe, which zoomed in on a teeny tiny island. "So this here is Country."

"Which country?" Sasha asked, frowning at the image.

"It's not a country, it's a territory," Ford snapped, eyeing Sasha over his shoulder.

Milla exchanged a glance with Sasha before raising a finger. "You did just say it was a country—"

"No, I said it was Country. Keep up!" Frowning, Ford brought up a second map, which was zoomed a bit further out. "Country is a small island territory off the coast of Nation."

Sasha could feel regret creeping up his spine the second he opened his mouth. "Which nation—"

"The nation of—” He broke off into a sputter. “It's not a nation, it's a republic! Didn't you young'ns ever go to school?!"

Clasping her hands, Milla nodded. "Of course, Agent Cruller. What's going on there?"

Ford relaxed a little before bringing up another image—this one appearing to be a short, squat man with mint-green skin. "President's been found in danger."

"...The President?" Sasha asked, wilting.

"Yea—I mean, no!" Ford snapped, his body trembling in agitation. "His name's President—goes by Prez—and he's the Prime Minister of Country. He's been captured by terrorists and is being held captive in the Company Building."

Once again Sasha nearly opened his mouth, but Milla shook her head, and he held himself back. "So we'll head to this office building and—"

"It's not an office—it's a—a—" Ford broke off into sputtering once again, but this time shot a glare at the holograms around him. "Who names these things?!"

Milla laughed, and Ford rolled his eyes. "Laugh all you want, but I'd like to see you keep this stuff straight!"

Sighing, he brought up the layout of the fortress on the holograms. "Prez is being held somewhere in these walls. Now you'd think it'd be at the top of this tower here—" he pointed at a tower on the leftmost side of the building "—like some princess in a fairy tale, but the intelligence I've gathered shows he's most likely located somewhere around here." He indicated a number of smaller rooms in the middle of the building, then paused, indicating the tower again. "Or, if we're unlucky, he might be held there, where they apparently keep the gators."

The ridge of one of Sasha's lenses raised as he exchanged a glance with Milla. "Alligators?"

Ford scratched the back of his scalp as he glanced off to the side. "Or maybe it was crocodiles? Same difference. Anyway." Shaking his head, he pulled up another image that showed an aerial view of the building and its surrounding grounds. "Now, the authorities are camped out outside, and they’ve been notified that you’re coming. Hostage situations are delicate and all that, but if you can get Prez outside, they can take it from there."

"I assume these terrorists have a psychic on their side?" Sasha asked, examining the map. "Otherwise we would not have been called upon."

"Now that we're not sure," Ford admitted. "But one thing we do know is that they may have access to sneezing powder, which is going to complicate things. They may have some brains switched up."

"Ach, of course."

"We can handle it, Agent Cruller," Milla said, giving Sasha a nod.

"Good," Ford replied. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a couple photos as well as printed sheets of paper, which he handed to Sasha and Milla.

"Here's some pictures of our target, and some questions you'll need to ask him to verify his identity, in case they tried a switcheroo. Study 'em and burn 'em. I got the coordinates logged in the Pelican, as well as your disguises for the mission. I'll stay down here for now so you can reach me, and I'll give you more mission details along the way. Now git!"

With that, he waved his hands toward them in a shoo-ing motion.

"Tchau!" Milla said with a short wave.

"We'll be in contact," Sasha added, and the two of them headed for the tree stump exit. From there, the transport system brought them to the hangar. To his dismay, he found a bird's nest had been built atop one of the wings of the Pelican. "Ach... How do they keep getting in here?"

While Milla gently TK'd the nest off to the side, Sasha glanced around. While well-disguised on the outside, the hangar was above-ground, which led to... problems like this. At least the bears and cougars couldn't get in.

Milla gave him a playful psi-poke, and he shook his head. Right, they had bigger things to worry about right now. Arguably.

Once they had both levitated into the Pelican, a psychic message from Ford reached them: Once you're onboard, you should find your outfits on the front seats.

Nodding to each other, they approached their respective seats to find Milla's had one of her custom Psychonauts outfits folded neatly there, complete with the rarely-used hood. It also had a set of large, circular earrings on top, each of them transparent while giving off opalescent reflections. Sasha, meanwhile, found a fancy blue suit with a pin on the breast reading "Logan Smith - AquaSpark Amusement Parks.” Accompanying the outfit was a small briefcase with the fake company’s logo: a blue lightning bolt with a splash of water directly beneath it.

There were, however, no matching shoes for the outfit.

Sasha curled up inside himself.

So, Dustpan, you'll be handling the sneaky stuff. Those earrings there are one of Egg Carton's inventions—supposed to give you more invisibility time.

Milla smiled, turning over the earrings in her hand. Oh, that's wonderful! So stylish, too.

Yeah, yeah, he's all about style. Now, Shoehorn, you'll be the distraction. You'll be Logan Smith, CEO of AquaSpark Water Parks. For some reason these terrorists are just nuts about water parks, so they'll be happy to see you there.

Wonderful, Sasha thought, looking over the outfit. They sound reasonable.

"I'm sure you'll do great, darling!" Milla said with a smile.

Sasha almost raised a hand to protest, only to stop himself, and placed a hand on his temple to speak to Ford. Ford, there seems to be something missing from my outfit.

Eh?

The shoes.

Didn't give Milla shoes either. Figured you'd both come dressed for work.

He almost argued that he was dressed for work, but bit back the comment; a man's life was in danger, and there was no time to worry about shoes. Tapping the button to open the hangar door and flipping a number of switches, he sent a message to both Milla and Ford. Very well. Starting up the jet.

Good, Ford replied. Course is already set, so you should be there in about two hours.

We will notify you upon arrival.

As the jet took off, they braced themselves, and waited until the plane leveled before relaxing. Sasha turned to Milla. "We may as well familiarize ourselves with our target while we wait."

“Good idea!” Milla replied, TKing out the papers Ford had given her.

Sasha, meanwhile, TK'd out the photo he was given of Prez. Looking it over, he found himself staring into the face of a man who looked well-meaning, if somewhat baffled. Recalling the glimpse he'd gotten of the picture Ford had shown earlier, he wondered if that was the man's perpetual expression. Or perhaps he was just not photogenic.

After studying it for a while, he switched to the document. Said document detailed basic facts about the man—his birth date, his partner's name, the date of their anniversary, the names of all seven of his Samoyeds, and various other factoids that could be useful to know, ranging from basic to obscure. Fortunately, Sasha was used to memorizing this sort of thing—it was standard procedure for when a brain swap was suspected.

After he studied the notes for some time, another copy of the document entered his vision, and he didn't have to look to know that Milla was TKing it to him. Without a word he TK'd it off to his other side, gave her a moment to look away, and lit it on fire with pyrokinesis, doing the same with his own paper shortly afterward. "Aside from the odd names, this should be a fairly standard mission."

Milla nodded. "It will be over soon enough, and then we can throw a party!" She gave him a grin. "Perhaps that would cheer you up?"

Sasha stiffened. "Ah... I had hoped that wasn't obvious."

"It's all right, darling." She reached over to pat him on the shoulder gently. "Now let's get ready. It looks like we'll be arriving soon!"

Milla retreated into the bathroom, and stepped out in her Psychonaut outfit, without the hood—understandable, as it would not be comfortable to wear for an extended period. As his partner settled herself in her seat again, Sasha took a moment to step back to change into his own outfit. The suit tugged at his shoulders, but otherwise he found himself able to move around in it well enough. He kept his Psychonauts badge, however, slipping it into his pocket in case he needed to identify himself. But as he stepped back out, he frowned down at his feet.

"Oh, are you worried about your footwear?" Milla asked. He gave a start to find her looking back at him with an amused smile. "I'm sure you'll find a way to roll with it, darling."

"Hopefully," Sasha remarked, taking a moment to straighten his tie.

By this point, the jet was slowing down as it approached the Island of Country. Milla carefully tied her hair back into a bun and pulled her hood over her head. Her earrings poked out from the hood, looking obvious against the dark outfit, but half a second later she turned herself invisible.

"So far, so good," Sasha remarked, nodding approvingly in the direction where Milla had been standing. However, he felt her presence just behind him, and turned to see her smiling at him beneath her hood.

"I'm glad you think so," she said, a teasing glint in her eyes.

He gave a huff of amusement. "Even if Otto's new accessories don't work as advertised—which I'm sure they will—your stealth is unmatched."

"Naturally." Milla gave a soft laugh.

Looking down at the briefcase he’d been given, Sasha picked it up with his hand, and frowned. Well, this wouldn’t be enjoyable.

When the jet landed, the two drew their attention to a holographic screen near the cockpit. It displayed a map of the island, indicating where the jet had landed and where their target was.

"All right, listen up, cuz this recording's about to delete itself once it's done," Ford's voice crackled out of the speaker. "You've landed here, west of the target." The blip on the map indicating the jet flashed. "The authorities are gathered outside the building, and they've been made aware of your arrival. Dustpan, you're gonna sneak in through the side entrance here." The map zoomed in on the building, highlighting something on the western side. "The code to enter is 5002. Meanwhile, Shoehorn, you're gonna enter through the front, and make a show of pushing yourself through the cops. That'll get these guys' attention, and I'll leave you to figure out where to take it from there."

Sasha nodded grimly. Playing things by ear was not his favorite way to do things, but he could handle it when he had to.

"Remember, the fate of Country is on your shoulders, so don't screw this up. Grease Jar, out!" The screen switched off, and a dull bleep indicated that the message had been deleted.

Exchanging glances, Sasha and Milla gave each other a nod before exiting the Pelican, levitating onto the ground outside. With a wave of his hand, Sasha activated the jet's cloaking mechanism to hide it from view, and took note of his surroundings to remember where it was. They'd landed in a clearing in the middle of a forest, where enormous trees surrounded them. The air was thick and humid and alive with the buzzing of mosquitoes, and the sky was overcast. There was nothing really noteworthy here, but luckily, the building was a straight shot east of where they'd landed.

Also a straight shot east was a puddle of muck that Sasha had just stepped into.

His skin began to crawl, and he was certain about half a dozen regrets had spawned in his mental world.

"Watch your step, darling," Milla said, hovering gracefully over the ground.

Grimacing, Sasha levitated a few inches upward, telekinetically keeping hold of his sandal so it didn't slip off his foot and get devoured by the mud. He joined Milla in floating over the ground, but rather than the natural-looking hover Milla performed, he moved parallel to the ground as though standing upon an invisible moving walkway. As they traversed over the mud, he realized that this was more than just a patch of soggy ground—this was an outright swamp. He wished Ford had mentioned this.

Granted, it wasn't relevant to the mission, but it was relevant to his outfit.

Fortunately it wasn't long before they caught sight of a massive structure just beyond the swamp. It was a centuries-old fortress featuring a number of towers, giving the brief illusion that they had somehow stepped back in time. The illusion was shattered by the sight of modern police cars sitting outside, with various officers milling about idly.

Turning to Milla, Sasha gave a nod, and she faded from sight.

Let me know what's happening once you're inside, Milla said. I'll start scouting.

I'll try to draw their attention, Sasha replied, though he couldn't help but wish their roles were reversed.

Approaching the police, he TK'd his Psychonaut badge out of his pocket and flashed it at the police chief. It took a moment for the man to notice, but when he did, he did a double-take. "Hey, you're not supposed to be here," he spoke in a deliberate, dull tone.

As Sasha TK'd the badge away, the other cops looked at the chief, then at Sasha, before continuing the charade with little to no conviction. "Hey, get out of here. This is a police investigation!"

Sasha winced, but made his way toward the fortress nonetheless. "No," he said, also with volume, but hopefully more convincing than the police. "Let me through! I must speak with the men here!"

"Stay back. We have weapons." Several of the officers lifted batons (with a couple more enthusiastically raising guns).

Mentally Sasha prepared a psi-shield should the officers decide to attempt to be too convincing of the act they were putting on of keeping him out. "No!" he cried, raising his voice more with a rapid glance at the entrance to the fortress. "It is of dire importance that I speak to these people!"

To his relief, their plan seemed to be working—a few men wearing ski-masks were now staring at them from the other side of the iron gate that blocked the entrance. They looked at each other, then at him, and seemed to take notice of the logo on his briefcase. They gave a jump and their movements seemed to be growing more excited.

Unbelievable, Sasha thought. Shaking his head, he realized the officers were starting to close in on him (but not too much of course), and he redoubled his efforts to reach the fortress. "Let me through!"

There was a rusty screeching noise as the iron gate that blocked the entrance was raised. While a few officers turned to look at the gate, they looked away again, remembering the plan. With the police pretending to be preoccupied with Sasha, they “failed” to notice one of the men sneaking in their direction. Sasha continued to push his way toward the gate when the man suddenly rushed forward, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him into the fortress. The officers gave a half-hearted shout, a few of them pursuing before stopping at the closing gate.

"Bout time one of you guys heard about us!" the masked man said as he hauled Sasha through the courtyard. "Now we can finally be makin' some progress here!"

"I-indeed," Sasha stammered, wishing that this man would let go. His sandals were slapping noisily against the stone path and mud was flaking off of his pant leg. He noticed that the courtyard was filled with, of all things, inflatable water slides (many of which were deflated), but before he could comment on these, the man led him into the main building.

More people, these ones not wearing masks, hurried up to them, their brows furrowed in consternation. "Who's this bozo?" one woman demanded.

The man at Sasha's side yanked off his mask, and his expression was that of a child right before a birthday party. "He's with a water park!" he exclaimed, gesturing dramatically at Sasha.

Straightening his back and rolling his shoulder, Sasha nodded. "That's right. Logan Smith, Aqua Spark Amusement Parks."

The others' faces lit up. "Finally!" the woman cried.

"May I speak to...?" Sasha balked, realizing he'd never been given the name of their leader.

"Oh, yeah! Sure! Georg is this way." With a bounce to their steps, the people led Sasha further down the hall. Said hall seemed to be littered with trash, but on closer inspection, the mess consisted of small pool toys.

Something struck him, and he sent a telepathic message to Milla. I've entered the fortress. It was strangely easy.

To his shock, Milla's mental voice was slightly heightened in distress. That's great, darling, but I'm busy at the moment!

Sasha's heart jumped. Are you all right?

I can handle this. Try to find President!

Understood. Sasha frowned—in spite of Milla's insistence, he couldn't help but worry that they'd fallen for a trap. This group couldn't be that simple, could they?

As though reading his mind—can they? Sasha wondered in alarm—one of the men turned to Sasha with a raised eyebrow. "I've never heard of Aqua Spark."

Thinking quickly, Sasha replied, "We're a startup company looking for a place to build our first park. We believe that Country here is an untapped market."

To his relief, the man looked at his fellows with a wide grin. "That's what I've been saying!"

They continued to lead him further down the hall until they reached a doorway guarded by two women. They seemed cautious at first, but Sasha's companions hurried up to them to explain the situation, and they eagerly stepped away, ushering them into the room.

Stepping inside, Sasha found himself in a wide room that was probably once used for war meetings, which now had a banged-up desk shoved in one corner, misaligned with the wall, and a large aquarium in another corner, bearing a few cracks that were patched with duct tape. Said aquarium was devoid of fish, but a woman in a dark suit was bent over it, tossing in diving sticks with mild interest. One sank to the floor of the tank with a shower of bubbles and turned on its side, and the woman gave a cry of disgust, yanking it out of the tank and turning it over until she spotted a number of punctures in it. Hissing a curse, she turned to hurl the stick across the room, and Sasha had to stop himself from reflexively grabbing it with TK to avoid being hit.

Spotting Sasha, the woman paused. "Who are you?"

The first man who'd spoken to Sasha stepped forward. "This man is Logan Smith! He's with a water park!"

Rather than being ecstatic like her henchman, however, the woman frowned, looking Sasha up and down, studying him. Her gaze stopped at his feet, and Sasha stiffened, sweat trickling down the back of his neck. This was bad, this was going to end very badly, he should have told Ford to give him a moment to change his shoes before—

"Well, Mr. Smith..." she began, looking up into his glasses, as he gazed frantically around the windowless room for some sort of escape route. "It seems you share our enthusiasm for water parks! You've even brought your flip-flops!"

The tension in his shoulders eased slightly. "I—yes, of course." He gave a tight nod. "Hearing of your enthusiasm, we knew this would be the perfect place to launch our first theme park."

"That's great news!" the woman cried, throwing an arm around his shoulders. "We were hoping someone like you might show up!"

Please do not.

Realizing her forwardness, she backed off. "But where are my manners—my name is Georgette, but everyone here just calls me Georg." She held out her hand, and Sasha shook it uneasily. "It's great to have you here, Mr. Smith. Have a seat."

Before he could ask where she expected him to sit, one of the henchmen used a pump to inflate a chair, which was then propped up in front of the table. He stared at the chair for a long moment, almost debating remaining standing, before remembering he had a disguise to maintain. He lowered himself into the seat, which squeaked noisily against him. Likewise, Georg took a seat on the other side of the table, sitting on an equally squeaky inflatable chair.

"So!" she began, leaning forward. "Let's hear about your company. I'm all ears."

It took half a moment for Sasha to spin a quick story. "Right. Aqua Spark is a startup water park company in America. We're employing people who have experience building for other parks—Eight Flags, Oak Fair, Queen's Island..."

Georg nodded, her eyes and grin growing wide.

"Of course, there's a great deal of parks there, so we wanted to... make a splash—" Sasha repressed a shudder "—by building our first park here." He jabbed his finger just over the desk for emphasis. "We believe Country is an untapped market, and the perfect spot for a water park."

"Excellent!" Georg cried, clapping her hands together. "We've thought the same thing and have been campaigning for this for years now, but the government won't budge! But with our bargaining chip and with the backing of an amusement park company, there's no way they can turn us down again!"

One of the phrases made Sasha's ears perk. "Bargaining chip?"

"Oh yes, of course." She leaned forward, tilting her head. "You know exactly what I'm talking about, I assume."

"I believe so." Sasha mulled this over in his mind. "Though, I will say, it would look poorly on the company if we worked with you, and it turned out he were harmed."

"Oh! Goodness, no, we wouldn't do that!" Her smile went a bit too wide, her teeth biting down on her lower lip. "He's perfectly safe!" As she spoke, she gave a pointed glance at one of her lackeys, who hurried out the door. She rose to her feet. "But we'll get to that later! First, I wanted to show you some of our own ideas for the park we wanted—"

"Ah, yes," Sasha said, standing and taking a quick glance at the door. "First I'd like to make a quick trip to the restroom."

Georg sighed. "All right. Geoff, please show him the way, and then we can get right back to it."

"Sure thing! This way." The lackey, Geoff, waved him over to the door and began to lead him down the hall. As they walked, Geoff started to ramble. "So what kind of stuff are you planning?"

Sasha was only partially paying attention, scanning to look for the lackey who had left earlier. "We have a number of attraction concepts we're considering," he mumbled. He could definitely hear footsteps up ahead, and he hoped it was the woman who had been sent out. She must have gone to check on President.

"Like what? Oh, I really hope there's gonna be water slides—"

"Yes, of course. We’re planning a... ah... looping slide."

Geoff whirled on him. Sasha froze up, nearly expecting the man to attack, but instead he bore a huge grin.

"Like the one in Adventure Park?!"

Sasha relaxed. "Yes, but, uh... improved."

"Ooooooh man!" The lackey turned around again, continuing to lead him down the hall before stopping at one of the doors. "Here you are, Mr. Smith!"

"Thank you." Hastily, Sasha stepped inside, balking when he realized that the bathroom consisted only of a few reeking outhouses that had been dragged into the room. Steeling himself, he stepped into one, holding his breath, but did not quite close the door. Instead, he put a hand to his temple. Dustpan, this is Shoehorn. I have a lead on where President is.

Milla's mental voice sounded exhausted. That's great, darling.

Are you all right?

For now. Let me know when you find him, and I'll meet with you.

Understood.

Nodding, Sasha activated his invisibility and exited the outhouse, quietly shutting the door behind him. Relieved to be out of that germ-infested place, he crept out of the room, but froze when he realized his sandals were slapping against the stone floor. He was almost certain he had been caught, but he glanced at Geoff, who leaned against the wall. "Oh man..." the lackey was still muttering as Sasha shook his head.

He hated what he was about to do, but he could not levitate while invisible, nor could he risk compromising the mission any further. Reaching down, he slipped his sandals off his feet and held them in his free hand so his socks were now touching the ground, and continued creeping down the hall.

Sure enough, he spotted the woman who had been sent out of the room earlier. She was looking into each room frantically, as though she wasn't sure which room the captive would be in, which struck Sasha as odd. Frowning, he kept a short distance behind her, and at one point she opened one door only to close it with a yelp and lock it, hurrying ahead even more urgently. Sasha made a mental note to check that out later, if he had time—they would notice his absence eventually.

Finally, she turned a corner before reaching the last room in the hall. She opened the door with a key, and looked relieved. Sasha hurried behind her to find a man matching President's description blindfolded, gagged, and bound to a chair in a very, very cluttered room, full of old pool toys and several unlabeled tubs.

Noticing that the woman was about to shut the door, Sasha quickly CV'd into the man, only to bounce back immediately. His face went pale.

Dustpan, he said, exhaustion dragging at his mind, we've got an egg missing from the carton.

Oh dear.

That was putting it mildly. Still, Sasha steeled himself and made a mental map of where he was, projecting it to Milla. Dealing with a debrained target would be difficult, and he'd need all the help he could get.

For a moment he considered following the lackey who had locked the door so he could grab her keys, but his invisibility was already starting to wear off. Instead, he waited for her to turn the corner and psi-blasted the lock, catching it with TK before it could hit the floor. Now that he didn't have to hide it, he transferred his suitcase and sandals to TK as well.

Carefully opening the door, Sasha poked his head in. "President?" he whispered.

"TV...?" came the dreaded, muffled reply.

Sighing, Sasha squeezed into the cramped room and shut the door behind him. Though he knew he wouldn't be understood, he went on, "My name is Sasha Nein. I'm here to help you." With a few quick tugs of telekinesis, he undid the ropes that bound the man to the chair. Another few tugs and the blindfold and gag fell to the floor.

President stared at him seriously. "Puppy."

"Yes, we'll return you to your spouse and dogs as soon as we've found your brain." Sasha regarded the man for a moment—he was somehow more serious-looking than when he had a brain. Otto would have had a field day. "But where to find your brain?"

President continued to stare at him, then pointed a finger in his face. "Prime Minister."

"No, that's you," Sasha said, TKing the man's hand away. "Now, where—"

The doorknob rattled.

Sasha went invisible, ducking behind President's chair. If they'd been caught, then hopefully whoever opened the door to find this scene would assume that the ropes had fallen off of President on their own. Regardless, Sasha prepared for things to go south, placing a hand to his temple.

The door opened slowly, and Sasha tensed.

And then it shut, and before Sasha could wonder what happened, Milla came into view.

"Thank goodness," he breathed, ridding himself of his invisibility again. "It's good to see you again." But when he studied her closer, he frowned; Milla's outfit was roughed up, a few tears visible on the legs. It was rare to see her in such a state. "Are you all right?"

"I'll be fine, darling," Milla said, pulling down her hood partway. "I finally managed to get past those terrible alligators."

"Alligators?" he asked, eyebrows raised, then he shuddered when he remembered what Ford had said earlier. "It seems that bit of intelligence was accurate."

"Yes, they're everywhere." Milla moved some strands of hair out of her face, tucking them behind her ears. "But that's not important right now. Poor President!"

President looked her in the eye. "Dog treats."

"Yes, and we have little time to waste. They'll discover my absence soon."

"But how are we to find his brain? Where could they have put it?" Milla looking out over the mess of tubs of toys. "They don't seem very organized, and they let those awful alligators chew on everything!"

A thought struck Sasha as he recalled the information Ford had given them. "...The tower."

Milla nodded grimly. "Where they keep the alligators... Though it seems now they let those brutes roam everywhere."

Something’s not quite adding up… Sasha shook his head. "Regardless, we've no time to waste. Let's take him with us and get to the tower as soon as possible." He looked down at President and helped him up from the chair. "Time to leave, sir."

"TV. Puppies. Kibble!" the man said with increasing enthusiasm. "Dog treats!" And with no further warning he grabbed one of Sasha's sandals, which he had still been TKing off to the side, and began chewing on it.

Sasha winced back. "Aaaaach...!"

Milla placed a hand on his shoulder. "It will keep him quiet. Now let's go!" Putting up her hood again, she turned to open the door. "Hopefully we haven't been caught y—"

And the hiss of an alligator greeted them, the reptile opening its jaws wide as it sat in front of the door.

"Too late," Sasha grunted. He placed a hand to his temple and fired a psi-blast at the monster, knocking it back into the wall. "Come on!"

"Puppy!" President mumbled around the sandal in his mouth, reaching out toward the incapacitated alligator as Sasha plucked him up with TK.

Milla activated her invisibility, and Sasha led her down the hall, mentally mapping out the place. The tower they were headed for was on the western side of the building opposite of where they were, so they would have to be fast. Since their cover had already been blown, Sasha went into full-blown levitation, blasting down the hall.

As they passed one door—the door the lackey had checked and locked earlier—it began to rattle before bursting open off its hinges, and several more alligators scrambled out after them. "Doggies!" President mumbled in delight, while Sasha moved even faster.

Turning a corner, he spotted Geoff, still standing outside the bathroom. The lackey looked up at him in surprise. "Woah! Mr. Smith? What's going on? Isn't that Prez?"

Is he not aware? Regardless, Sasha did not answer, blasting past him. Before Geoff had time to question him again, the alligators turned the corner, and he let out a scream, bolting away.

They're afraid of their own guard dogs? Milla asked.

It seems so, but now's not the time to question it.

They continued through the building, any lackeys they discovered fleeing the second they saw the alligators giving chase, with some of the gators even pursuing them. Sasha was nearly relieved until another alligator burst out of a door ahead of him, its snout bearing a scorch mark, much like the one he'd psi-blasted earlier.

"What—how?!" Sasha cried.

As if on cue, several more gators suddenly appeared just ahead—literally, spawning out of mid-air.

That was it—they were teleporting. Perhaps that was why the people here didn't seem to be in control of them—the gators were as much of a problem to the criminals as they were to them.

Looking over the swarm of hissing alligators, Sasha frowned. We cannot teleport, but we can levitate! Get ready.

Ready when you are, darling!

The alligators continued to hiss before one of them charged, the others following suit.

NOW!

Sasha and the still-invisible Milla leaped into the air, levitating over the alligators. A few raised their heads and snapped at them, but they managed to clear the swarm, landing on the other side and resuming their charge through the fortress. Several of the gators hissed, giving chase, but a few more were distracted by the lackeys that stepped out of their rooms to panic.

Finally, Sasha came upon what he was looking for—a stairwell. With a motion to Milla, he hovered into it, ascending the narrow, spiraling stairs while the gators scrambled up after them. Milla and Sasha had the advantage here, and managed to reach the top before the gators could.

The room shouldn't be far from here, Sasha said, glancing to his side. He was somewhat surprised to find Milla visible again, but even with the equipment she had, it wasn't easy to stay invisible for an extended period, especially not when using other powers. Meanwhile, the alligators were nearing the top of the stairs, the one at the lead opening its mouth wide. With a well-aimed psi-blast, it was sent tumbling backward, knocking into the other reptiles and sending them all crashing down the spiral stairs.

That may or may not buy us some time, depending on if they decide to teleport again. Now to find...

This way! Milla cried, charging forward with a burst of levitation. Sasha followed, and they soon found themselves approaching another door, this one sealed with a giant padlock. One psi-blast later, the lock was smoldering on the ground, and they opened the door.

They found themselves in a circular room with a large circular grate raised up in the center. Sasha and Milla exchanged glances before grabbing it with telekinesis and heaving it up and off to the side.

As Sasha finally set President down, he leaned over the hole and opened his mouth. "Teeeveeeee!" he called, his voice echoing as the sandal he'd been holding in his mouth dropped down, down, down.

"No—!" Sasha cried, but before he could react, there was a splash, followed by the snapping of alligator jaws. He heaved a long, deep sigh, looking down. "More alligators."

There were two alligators swimming in the water far below, and in the midst of them was a small pedestal, upon which sat a glass covering. The pedestal had a large "NO TOUCH" sign attached, while the covering was labeled "PREZ."

And sitting within the glass was a human brain.

"There it is," Sasha and Milla found themselves saying together, and Sasha looked up. "I'll get it."

"No, you watch President," Milla said with a wink. "Leave this to the levitation expert."

"Fair enough."

With that, Milla raised herself up off the floor and down into the shaft, nearly upside-down as she reached out toward the glass jar. The alligators hissed up at her, swimming in circles beneath her like aquatic vultures, but she paid them no mind.

"Squeaky toy," President said, frowning down at his own brain as Milla TK'd the glass away.

"Stay put..." Sasha said, holding a hand in front of President as he watched Milla. She was raising the brain upward, drawing it closer to her hands.

At once there was a flash of psychic energy, and one of the alligators from below was up in the air in the middle of the shaft, snapping at Milla as it fell down toward her. She let out a startled cry, backing up against the wall of the shaft as the alligator teleported again, this time falling closer.

"Milla!" Sasha cried. His fear and fury took the form of raw psychic energy, blasting forward into the alligator. It slammed against the wall, skidding back down into the water. Before either of them had time to celebrate, the second alligator teleported higher up in the shaft, jaws focused on President's brain.

In a sudden stab of frustration, Sasha took his remaining sandal that he'd been TKing off to his side, and chucked it into the alligator's mouth. The reptile's jaws snapped shut, and it began to wheeze and choke as it plummeted back down into the water. Eventually, it spat up the mangled sandal and swam down into the water with an indignant flip of its tail, its slightly-scorched companion following suit.

With a sigh of relief, Milla levitated the rest of the way up the shaft, landing next to Sasha. "Thank you, darling."

"Thank me later," Sasha said, already opening up his briefcase and pulling out a funnel. He turned to face President. "Stay still, sir."

President was still frowning at his own brain. "Chew toy," he said with a look of disgust.

Sighing, Sasha took the brain from Milla and TK'd the funnel over to President's ear. "Hold him still, please."

Milla held the President with TK as Sasha forced the brain into the wider end of the funnel, shoving it inward until it slipped into the Prime Minister's empty head.

President staggered back as Sasha removed the funnel, the man's eyes rolling and blinking several times before coming into focus. "Wh... where am I?" he stammered, looking at Sasha and Milla in bewilderment. "Where are my dogs?!" He looked all around the room, his movements becoming more and more frantic. "Spot? Daisy? LEONARD?!"

Sasha grit his teeth, looking out the door to make sure they weren't going to get jumped on, while Milla bent down, shushing the man. "It's all right, Prime Minister President. You've been kidnapped and debrained, and we've just recovered your brain."

"Is... is that true?" Prez asked, rubbing his head. "That would explain my headache... Also, just Prez is fine."

"There's no time for questions. We're bound to be discovered at any moment, and we need to get out of here." Looking up and down the hallway, Sasha noted that any windows he could see were barred. "Milla, where was the entrance you came in from?"

"Not that way," she said. "It was crawling with alligators!"

Prez chuckled, and Sasha frowned. "Noted. We'll have to go back through the main entrance. Hurry!"

With that, the three charged back toward the stairs they'd ascended. The stairwell was empty, but to save time, Sasha grabbed Prez with TK once again as he and Milla levitated down the stairs.

"Woah!" Prez cried, eyes wide. "You're some a' them psychics!"

"Indeed, and it seems the alligators here are, too," Sasha replied, and Prez's brows knit in confusion. Once Sasha touched down on the floor, he took off in a burst of levitation down the hall, which was deserted. "We're nearly there. We just need to make it outside!"

The courtyard was in sight. Sasha and Milla both put on a burst of speed, feeling a great relief that their mission was nearing its end.

And with several puffs of green psychic energy, a dozen hissing alligators filled the courtyard, surrounding them.

"Not this again!" the three of them said simultaneously, and Sasha and Milla briefly gave Prez a look of confusion.

"I'll need all concentration on my psychic powers," Sasha said, dropping in his levitation to the ground in a psychic attack pose and setting Prez down. "Stay between me and Milla!"

As the alligators pressed in closer, Sasha and Milla both fired blue and pink psi-blasts respectively at the reptiles. While he could hear one be struck by Milla's attack, the one he'd fired at disappeared again. Whipping his head around, he searched for the missing gator, only to realize a shadow was falling over him. With a cry, he staggered out of the way, only for his feet to slip against the slick grass and send him crashing down on his back. The alligator landed in front of him, hissing, and more were closing in behind him and to the sides.

Before he could do anything else, however, there was a deafening chorus of barking from somewhere behind him. All the alligators looked up, and began to scramble away as a pack of enormous white dogs came charging into the courtyard. They howled and snarled as they chased the reptiles away from Sasha and the others, until the gators gave up, disappearing as quickly as they'd appeared.

"Daisy!" Prez cried, holding out his arms. "Spot! Leonard! Barkley!"

Any other names he called were drowned out by the sound of elated barking and whining as he was surrounded by the pack of dogs, who all jumped over each other at the chance to lick his face.

Milla pulled her hood back, wiping at her brow. "That was a close one..." With an invisible psychic hand, she helped Sasha to his feet. He dusted himself off, for all the good it would do.

"Indeed," he said, looking back toward the entrance. "I presume these aren't K-9 units..."

"Nah, those are probably on gator duty," Prez said, squeezing his way out from the swarm of samoyeds. "C'mon, let's get out of here!"

With that, the group stepped out of the fortress, the dogs cheerfully surrounding them. Milla couldn't resist the urge to pet one of them, and it leaned into her touch, tongue lolling.

Outside, the police seemed preoccupied with handcuffing a number of criminals, including Georg and Geoff. The former looked furious, while Geoff looked out toward Sasha with his lower lip wobbling. "N... no looping water slide?" he whimpered, eyes shining with tears.

"I'm afraid not," Sasha said, replacing his name tag with his Psychonaut badge. "This place seems ill-suited for water parks regardless."

"How did you capture them all?" Milla asked, looking toward the chief officer. "How could you have known we'd already rescued the Prime Minister and his brain?"

"We didn't," the officer said with a shrug. "These guys came runnin' out 'cause of the gators."

Prez let out a hearty laugh. "That's a real shocker!"

"Prez!" Another person came bolting through the crowd—someone Sasha identified as the man's spouse. They threw their arms around him in a tight hug. "I'm so glad you're all right! We were so worried about you, and I couldn't leave the dogs..."

"I'm fine! Thanks to the dogs, actually. And these guys too, of course." He waved a hand at Sasha and Milla.

Something had been nagging at the back of Sasha's head, and he hovered over to Prez, frowning. "Please excuse me for interrupting this moment, but I must ask." He waited for Prez to step away from his spouse and face him before continuing: "You seem to have a very serious problem with psychic alligators here. Why have you not called upon the Psychonauts for help with this?"

Prez, his spouse, and several of the police officers turned to give him bewildered looks. "Yeaaah, you mentioned that before," the Prime Minister said, crossing his arms. "How do you know they're psychic, though?"

Sasha balked. Had Prez been blind to what had just happened moments ago? "They can teleport, sir."

The man's face broke into a smile. "Yeah, and fish can swim! What's your point?"

Sasha glanced back at Milla, who was laughing. "Alligators don't normally have that ability."

Prez began laughing again, but stopped when Sasha did not join in. "Wait, you're serious?"

"Indeed," Sasha replied, suddenly feeling even more tired than he had before. "We can arrange to send a zoolepathy expert here to begin work on this issue, if you like."

"Uh. Yeah!" Prez blinked. "Yeah, that'd be great! Honestly, they're sorta the reason we couldn't build a water park here in the first place."

"WHAT?!" Georg cried some distance away, as a police carted her off with the rest of her lackeys.

Meanwhile, the police chief nodded. "If that's true, we'll send for one of you again."

As Sasha rubbed his temples, Milla stepped forward. "As for us, it looks like our work here is done."

"Right!" Prez rushed up to Milla and shook her hand before repeating the gesture with Sasha. "Thanks for your help!"

"And with that, we must be on our way." Finally, Sasha began hovering away from the crowd, back toward where they'd parked and cloaked the jet. Milla followed suit, waving to Prez and the others as they went their separate ways.

Once out of view of the crowd, they both dipped slightly in their respective hovers. Milla gave Sasha a tired smile, and he returned it.

"This has been quite the day," he admitted.

"Yes, but at least it's over now, darling."

Soon they were back onboard the Pelican and en-route back to Whispering Rock. While Milla stepped back toward the restroom, Sasha tapped a few buttons on the console and leaned back in his chair.

"This is Grease Jar," Ford's voice crackled over the radio. "What's the word?"

"The criminal group has been apprehended and Prez's brain and body rescued."

"Excellent work!"

"That said, it seems the Psychonauts are not yet done aiding Country. They seem to have an infestation of psychic—"

"ALLIGATOR!" Milla cried from the back.

"Pretty sure there's supposed to be an 's' at the end for the plural..." Ford grumbled, but Sasha was barely listening, rushing to the back to find Milla backing away from the bathroom in horror.

An enormous alligator stood over the toilet, where a large clutch of rubbery eggs sat within.

It was going to be a very, very long flight.

#sasha nein #milla vodello #ford cruller #psychonauts #bad things happen bingo #my art #my writing #fanfic #GOSH I'M SO GLAD I FINALLY GOT THIS ONE FINISHED #the next one might also take a bit as I still need to finish replaying the game #bUT I AM GOING TO FINISH THESE #I WILL NOT GIVE UP

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