#TUMBLR FUCKED UP MY JACKED BUNNY

[sugarcherriess]

I CAUGHT A SEVERE CASE OF BABY FEVER AFTER WATCHING EP 2 OF THE BOYZ TAKING CARE OF THE BABIES AND IT’S HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS ‼️ (hyunjae is an absolute MENACE) jacob had peak baby daddy material i was punching the air. i don’t even like kids that much but to have him stare at your baby bump with awe and adoration? /foams at the mouth

Dont speak of the devils name in this holy household

⠀(\____/)

(•(ㅅ)•) I am a hyunj*e hater

　＿ノ ヽ ノ＼＿

`/　 `/ ⌒Ｙ⌒ Ｙ　ヽ

( 　(三ヽ人　 /　　 |

|　ﾉ⌒＼ ￣￣ヽ　 ノ

ヽ＿＿＿＞､＿＿_／

　　 ｜( 王 ﾉ〈

　　 /ﾐ`ー―彡\

　　/ ╰ ╯ \

#˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Adonis Speaks #TUMBLR FUCKED UP MY JACKED BUNNY #Jungkook tease #they were all so #so #so terrible for my health #not one person was acting in a way that would distract me #i think i can birth 11 children at least #ive seen it happen #i will do it #i want hyunjaes kiss bro its not even funny no more #kids* #but yes also kiss 🤢🤢 #i will produce a baby just so they can look after it and i can watch them

[melon-cream-enmu]

Repost from one of my previous blogs, I swear I put that here but I wouldn’t put it past tumblr to delete an edit after you make it. It’s done it several times when I fix spelling mistakes after posting 🤬

Anonymous asked: Aaaaaaaa a idk if you've gotten something like this but Beastkin MC who's like a bunny or a herbivore of some sort has my mind gOING

Like, the Savannaclaw trio wanting to pin them under them and fuck them so hard, deep, and fast,,, claiming them with hickey and bites and teasing their tail and ears,,,

Leona has big arms and hands, perfect for wrapping around his mate while spooning them and holding them close while he fucks them slow and deep, an ear held between his teeth to keep them from squirming too much from the pleasure~ Or perhaps he'll get a bit rough after seeing them with Malleus? After all, he has to remind them of exactly who's cock it is that makes them feel so good~

And then there's Jack! Holding you up by the hips in a mating press which let's him tease the base of your tail - a spot that makes you shudder from just how sensitive it is~ he'll keep eye contact when you fuck, his pupils larder than usual and an animalistic, debauched expression on his face easy to see until he leans forwards to place a Possessive bite on your shoulder~

Ruggie would be more submissive, sure. However, being a predator, he can't help but feel the impulse that urges him to pin you beneath him as he uses his hands to make you feel good~ He'll touch you in all the right places, bringing to the edge over and over again before he even starts fucking your overstimulated body. Hell make you feel so good that you won't be able to walk in the morning~

ABD THE THING

WITH THE CHASING THING IM-

B A R K I N G

IMAGINE IT BEING SILENT BUT YOU HAVE THE FEELING THAT SOMEONE IS WATCHING, AND THE ANTICIPATION IS JUST TANTALISING

AND FLOYD OR JACK OR JADE OR WHOEVER YOU'RE HORNY FOR GRABS YOU FROM BEHIND AND PRESSES THEIR HARD COCK AGAINST YOUR BACK WHILE MURMURING IN YOUR EAR ABOUT HOW PRETTY AND FUCK ABLE YOU LOOK, AND ABOUT HOW YOUR SCENT HAS THEM SLIPPING EVEN FURTHER INTO A RUT AND ABSHAJSJSLAOA

ADSBAUSUAKSKDJDKSODHDOKSSILANSMA

-TD

🤤(BOY DID THIS TAKE ME A LONG FUCKING TIME MY BAD)

Leona laying with you in warm, expensive feeling bed. The bumpy head of his cock pressing into every spot that makes you shiver. His nails circle your nipples with one warm hand up your shirt and his other strokes your sex.

His breath is warm and his tongue rough on your ear has it twitching between his teeth. “You truly are so tiny aren’t you?” His hands retreat to find the tops of your plush thighs to rock your body back against his. His knee creeps between your thighs and props up on the bed, now hiking yours up and giving him a better angle to press his cock what feels like impossibly deeper. You bury your face in the pillow, turning and leaving your back exposed to him.

“You tighten so much with every shiver and cry,” his finger trails down your back and pulls your tail, “your ears try to twist together when I play with your tail too.” Clawed hands caress the rolls of your tummy before Leona pushes you onto your stomach and picks up his pace. He watches your tail twitch as you unknowingly raise your hips for him.

•

Your bed is louder than you thought it was. Of course, you’d have never figured it out, you don’t do much on it. But what you’re doing now is more than it’s ever been put through.

The headboard slams into the wall too much, the springs are so loud. “J-Jack, oh my god, Jack! Please s-slow down, everyone will hear!” Not like it mattered, you’re from different dorms, people always suspect something when Jack Howl shows up for you. A whine like growl leaves his chest but he only humps you harder. “I can’t…you’re just so small…you’re tight and warm.” The slap of his thighs to your ass is loud and wet and you’re glad your roommates are out on a trip.

Jacks eyes constantly gaze upon your teary ones, tempted to lick up the tears on your lashes and cheeks. He pushes your legs up further and pounds harder, bathing in the sound of your cries. Your arms quickly fly to his shoulders and he lets you pull him down. Your ears flop when he hits that spot that has you coming too quickly, when he’s not close to done.

You look so dazed and fucked out and god do you smell so good when you cum. His tail ducks under you and feels your tiny cottontail wiggle at its touch. Everyone will smell him on you, and they will forever if he has anything to say about it, but he can’t stop himself from laying claim all over your neck and shoulders.

•

Ruggie’s had his hands and mouth all over your sex for hours it seems. Stroking, licking, petting, kissing, pushing, biting. Your thighs shake with every searing hot breath he lays on you, every wet kiss he graces you with. His eyes are glassy and wide, ears lowered as he whines. He’s submissive by nature, but you’re a prey animal, and all he can think about is devouring you. He wants every drop of every essence you can give him, and he’s going to push you over the edge as many times as it takes for him to get his fill. He nuzzles your hand as it grips in his hair when he tugs your little tail. When he’s finally finished his feast he moves onto filling you fully and completely, you can hardly even cry out when you cum at just his tip alone.

•

Unkempt branches scratch and slap your skin as you run through the maze, heavy breathing and fast footsteps. The only advantage you have being half rabbit are your quick silent feet. But that doesn’t stop you from being seen. If only it did.

A dead end. There’s no where to run, you can hear Floyd laughing nearby. You back yourself into the dead end slowly, hoping to brace yourself to bolt of turned the corner. You could make it between his legs, or between him and the wall, or you could even jump over him if you really tried. Too bad.

You’re so focused on an escape you don’t notice it ISN’T a dead end, and someones stepped behind you quietly from the left. They grab your arm and you whip around. It’s some first year, a cat, it seems. You pull hard enough to release their grasp and back away quickly. They scamper off instantly, and you assume it’s because of their failed attempt at a capture, but your back hits a wall. No, this was an open path, and there’s no walls in the Rose Maze, only the hedges. Their hand is quick to cover your mouth, and you know just by the size of it who it belongs to.

The hand that’s always stroking lazy fingers over your ears after having pulled you far too close. The hand that’s always tugging yours, tripping you up to fall into their lap when you walk past. The hand that’s always twirling little furs on your tail when it’s up your clothes in public. The hand that’s waved at you many times after getting you roped into working off friends contracts at the lounge.

“Sea bunny, there you are~ I’ve been searching for you, it was frustrating. You’re too fast on land, I wish they held this underwater, I would’ve caught your tail so quick!” You pull at his hand on your mouth and open it when his hand doesn’t move. Floyd pulls away all too quickly, “hey, no biting sea bunny. That’s my job.” You shiver as his sharp teeth leave pink indents in the tip of your ear. “You get so worked up when you run, your little bunny heart beats so fast~ I could smell you the second the let the prey start running.” His hand trails down your body and your smaller hands try to push it away.

“Floyd please, can’t we not do this here? I can hear the cameras coming!” His laugh is breathy when his hand worms it’s way into your shorts.

“Nooo, then you’d have to keep running. Someone else would get you, and you’re only for me. My sea bunny.” His hips press into your back and you hunch forward at the feel of his cock practically in line with your spine. “You made my rut come early, you always do, sea bunny. And I know your heat comes along then too, it’s like you were made for me.” His arm tightens around you while his other hand exposes your sex to the incoming cameras.

“And I have to have my little sea bunny. I wanna see more bunnies from you~”

#cream wonderland #cream filled #cream afab #cream writes

[prpfs]

hey hey~

31, he/him, 20 years xp 🪹

i don't write these anymore, so i'm wildly out of practice (you've heard this spiel before, i'm sure!), but i'm hoping to put down just... things. things i write, things i'd like to write, random dust bunnies that look like they might have thought about a plot once. you know.

i mostly center my rps on romance, for better and for worse. i am not great at writing multiple characters in a scene, but i could probably use the practice.

likewise, i don't often write dominant characters, but i do want to uh, stretch my legs in that realm. i'm just a chickenwuss about it.

i mostly write male/masc-leaning characters, whether that's trans men, butch-leaning women, masc enbies, and a buncha things in between.

i love fake dating tropes, for whatever asinine reason we can think of. one bed? great. fuck or die? amazing! kept in a human zoo by aliens? sure, sounds fun! bring the nonsense tropes my way, i'll eat them up.

i have a very guilty love of the omegaverse, and even though i've been writing in it for like a decade, there's always something new and fascinating to explore! to be honest, i'm happy to add it to just about any plot, including atypical secondary gender pairings (alphas and betas, omega and omega, etc!)

Fandom Interests

there are a few fandoms i'm interested in canon character pairings, and a couple more where i'd prefer to make ocs and play around in the world.

Beastars: Jack, Melon, Legoshi, Louis (Legosi x Louis, Legosi x Jack, Legosi x Melon, Jack x Melon)

Final Fantasy VIII Squall Leonhart Seifer Almasy (Squall x Seifer, Squall x Irvine)

Disney's Beauty and the Beast (1991/2017) Beast, Belle, Gaston, LeFou (Belle x Beast, Gaston x Beast, Gaston x Belle, LeFou x Beast, LeFou x Gaston)

Fandom OC Interests

FFXIV Warrior of Light, Non WoL OC

Baldur's Gate Open to Durge and non Durge OCs! Only in Act 2!

besides fandom nonsense, my interests in oc stuff vary, and can be hard for me to pin down for very long.

i love shitty relationships, i'm a sucker for twincest, siblings knowing it's wrong to be together, love at first sight but one of them is married/engaged/whatever, fake dating to save face at a wedding, things like that!

you can find my kink list for adult scenes here, and i can hand out samples upon request (they're all narratives/drabbles, sorry!)

discord: brimhatted tumblr ims open!

like if you're interested and op will get back to you

#omegaverse rp #beauty and the beast rp #ff8 rp #ffxiv rp #baldurs gate rp #fandom rp #fandom roleplay #beastars rp #dead dove

[fairytale-poll]

ROUND 1A! MATCH 1 OUT OF 8

Propaganda Under the Cut:

Bugs Bunny:

So the story is that the Three Little Pigs sell Bugs their straw and wood houses, the Big Bad Wolf blows them down, and Bugs decides to get revenge - by dressing himself up as Little Red Riding Hood, getting the Wolf to play his part in that story, and then messing with him as only Bugs can. Here's the video if you've never seen it: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6vk41x

Bugs Bunny is an icon and he was so good for his role in this short. When he and the wolf realized they could work together against the pigs... oh my God. Come on Tumblr, you have to admit they had a little gay tension between them. Besides, at the end, when the brick house comes down and the wolf, so surprised and proud of himself exclaims "I did it!" and then it pans over to Bugs with the bomb and he slyly adds "We did it!" communist Bugs canon.

Aku:

one word: Mako. the man is a legend. rest in peace. listen to this delivery i love him https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs_LzBFIEOA

I don’t know a lot about the show and it’s been a while but I’m pretty sure she’s just Aku fucking around when telling a classic story. It’s funny and I thought someone should submit it

#red riding poll #round 1 #round 1a #bugs bunny #looney tunes #windblown hare #aku #samurai jack #red riding hood #little red riding hood #polls #poll tournament #poll bracket #character polls #battle of the funny submissions which are pre existing characters playing rrh

[largebreed]

hey hey~

31, he/him, 20 years xp

i don't write these anymore, so i'm wildly out of practice (you've heard this spiel before, i'm sure!), but i'm hoping to put down just... things. things i write, things i'd like to write, random dust bunnies that look like they might have thought about a plot once. you know.

i mostly center my rps on romance, for better and for worse. i am not great at writing multiple characters in a scene, but i could probably use the practice.

likewise, i don't often write dominant characters, but i do want to uh, stretch my legs in that realm. i'm just a chickenwuss about it.

i mostly write male/masc-leaning characters, whether that's trans men, butch-leaning women, masc enbies, and a buncha things in between.

i love fake dating tropes, for whatever asinine reason we can think of. one bed? great. fuck or die? amazing! kept in a human zoo by aliens? sure, sounds fun! bring the nonsense tropes my way, i'll eat them up.

i have a very guilty love of the omegaverse, and even though i've been writing in it for like a decade, there's always something new and fascinating to explore! to be honest, i'm happy to add it to just about any plot, including atypical secondary gender pairings (alphas and betas, omega and omega, etc!)

Fandom Interests

there are a few fandoms i'm interested in canon character pairings, and a couple more where i'd prefer to make ocs and play around in the world.

Beastars: Jack, Melon, Legoshi, Louis (Legosi x Louis, Legosi x Jack, Legosi x Melon, Jack x Melon)

Final Fantasy VIII Squall Leonhart, Seifer Almasy (Squall x Seifer, Squall x Irvine)

Dungeon Meshi Chilchuck, Kabru, Mithrun (Kabru x Mithrun)

Disney's Beauty and the Beast (1991/2017) Beast, Belle, Gaston, LeFou (Belle x Beast, Gaston x Beast, Gaston x Belle, LeFou x Beast, LeFou x Gaston)

Fandom OC Interests

FFXIV Warrior of Light, Non WoL OC

Baldur's Gate Open to Durge OCs or whatever else!

besides fandom nonsense, my interests in oc stuff vary, and can be hard for me to pin down for very long.

i love shitty relationships, i'm a sucker for twincest, siblings knowing it's wrong to be together, love at first sight but one of them is married/engaged/whatever, fake dating to save face at a wedding, things like that!

other theme potentials: teacher/student, role reversal, princes, knights, and other nobility

you can find my kink list for adult scenes here, and i can hand out samples upon request (they're all narratives/drabbles, sorry!)

link to fc post

discord: duprinced tumblr ims open!

[negritolindoxxx]

Shut Up & Fuck!

I’m a slim, soft spoken man with average looks, wit, and height. I'm looking for good people and meaningful relationships.

DISCLAIMER:

I'm aware that my privacy ended when I created an online profile, and whatever I post is at risk of getting tagged, shared, retweeted, copied, and forwarded to "everyone in My Contacts". Therefore, I hereby give permission to the Police, FBI, CIA, NSA (lol, they’re doing it already), EPA, NCIS, MI5, MI6, ICE, InterPol, RCMP, KGB, SS, Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Swiss Guard, Coast Guard, Royal Guard, National Guard, my God, your God, OH GOD, WILL THIS LIST EVER END?, John Oliver, Laura Ingraham (Oooh! What I wouldn't give to hear her say "Shut Up & Fuck"! I digress), Uncle Sam, Uncle Tom (not Sambo), Illuminati, Men in Black, S.H.I.E.L.D., Justice League, Thunder Cats, Voltron, Zordon, Megatron, Optimus Subprime, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, A-Team, Darth Vader, Blade, Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Jackie Chan, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Mystery Incorporated, Django Freeman, Ben Cartwright, Rowdy Yates, Marshal Dillon, Hopalong Cassidy, Dr. Who, Hercule Poirot, Charley Chan, Sam Spade, Benoit Blank, Sherlock Holmes, Aba n Preach, Jay & Silent Bob, Cagney & Lacey, Kirk & Enos, Sam & Twitch, Andy Taylor & Barney Fife, James West & Artemus Gordon, Agents 86 & 99, Agents Mulder & Scully, Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Austin Powers, Man from U.N.C.L.E., Alex Cross, Jack Reacher, MacGyver, Jessica Jones, Nancy Drew, Mannix, Monk, Colombo, Kojak, Baretta, Magnum P.I., Trouble Man, Brother Mouzone, Shaft, The Borg Cube, Ice-Cube, Rubik the Amazing Cube, Q*Bert, Q-Anon, John Q, Suzy Q, Stacey Q, Maggie Q, Barbie Q, Schoolboy Q, Q aka Quincy Jones, Q from James Bond, Q from Star Trek and the kitchen sink to tag, share, retweet, copy, and forward everything I publish on Tumblr to "everyone in My Contacts".

I have nothing against the people that I'm not attracted to. I just don’t find them attractive. These include, but are not limited to, friends & family, dumb asses, smart asses, assholes, dicks, motherfuckers, cocksuckers, liars, cheaters, vampires, zombies, (the jury's still out on werewolves), clowns, people who weigh more than me, people who are taller than me, and people who can't take a joke. I'm attracted to who I'm attracted to.

Thank you, and have a nice day.

[kolons-reaper]

Alright. I have VERY little room to talk here as somebody with a Tumblr Audience of like… two people, but bear with me, okay? Because I just can’t stop genuinely fuming over the casting choice(s) in the Mario Movie.

I know it’s the “Topic of the Day(tm)” but I wanted to give my thoughts as somebody with a deep and profound passion for the art of voice acting. They STOLE Mario away from a truly talented man (Charles Martinet I’m so sorry sweetie) and replaced him with CHR*S PR*TT of all people? Anyone with a brain/eyes/common sense can see that this wasn’t because “He’D mAkE a GrEaT mArIo!!!” It’s because he’s the haha funny Marvel dude who basic white teenage boys freak out over no matter how racist and homophobic he continues to be. (Not even to mention that one time he and Jennifer Lawrence blatantly tarnished indigenous Hawaiian land because they thought it was funny??? I guess???)

This isn’t even the FIRST disrespectful blow against veteran voice actors THIS YEAR, either!! Remember the Space Jam 2 trailer? How Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck were both played by “Themselves” but Lola Bunny was SPECIFICALLY Voiced “By Zendaya?” That’s just disrespectful to those old voice actors, man. Nobody should be discredited so thoroughly just so that some execs can put butts in seats.

It’s just a giant domino effect leading all the way back to when Disney put Robin Williams’ name in all the marketing material for Aladdin despite his openly telling them NOT to do exactly that. It’s the same reason today as it was 29 years ago; Profit, Popularity, and PUTTING BUTTS IN SEATS.

I had high hopes for this movie (can you believe it?) because after the Sonic Movie did it so right I was really hopeful that Nintendo/Illumination would put the same love into the Mario Movie but… nope! And Chris Pratt as Mario really says that to me. I couldn’t personally give less of a shit about the rest of the cast, (I have problems with Luigi, for the same reasons I said earlier, but I do think that Jack Black as Bowser is a very inspired and smart choice. I also kinda love Seth Rogan DK? No idea why, it’s just SO BAD that it 360’s around to hilarious.) but casting somebody as the voice of MARIO is a big deal, Y’know? Why not just let the guy who’s been doing it for 26 YEARS do it? Oh right, because he wasn’t Marvel McProtagonist character in ShitFart of the Generic White Dude 69. (Can you tell I don’t like Marvel and how it’s ruined the voice acting industry yet?)

Long story short, Charles Martinet is a genuinely FANTASTIC voice actor who deserves more than just a few “Surprise Cameos” in a movie that he logically should’ve been the star of. In the wise words of somebody else I just saw make a great post about this EXACT topic:

“I hope that you’re looking forward to watching Chris Pratt play Chris Pratt in Blue Overalls, because he’s just going to do the same exact performance that he’s BEEN doing since he started acting. When you want to cast Chris Pratt, it’s not because he’s talented or interesting, it’s because you need a famous white dude with an identical sense of humor to all the other basic white dudes he’s played. He doesn’t ‘Play’ characters. He gets typecast as himself every. Single. TIME.”

I’m genuinely furious about this and will never forgive the casting director for this slight against the voice acting industry. I guess in a few years there won’t be any genuine vocal talent left, just a whole bunch of bland, disinteresting, famous people.

Let’s just hope that Chris “Homophobic Republican Christian” Pratt won’t go strutting around like the world’s most egotistical pigeon and try asserting that Mario “Doesn’t like you if you aren’t straight” or that FUCKJNG

MARIO

Of all characters Is some kind of “Christian Icon” or something like that. Because if that ended up happening I’m gonna go and team up with Charles Martinet and literally beat the living snot out of that Homophobic Prick until he shuts his mouth

I’m so sorry about this I just needed to vent because holy SHIT ILLUMINATION WHAT WERE YOU FUCKING THINKING I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HA

#Mario #Chris Pratt #Tw: Chris Pratt #Nintendo #Illumination #Mario Movie #Voice Acting #LITERALLY WHY #Agony #pain even

[lad-boyo]

Long Emotional Post ahead! 

With Nick’s last show on Radio 1, I just want to do a sop-fest post for myself really, and whoever else also loves nick. 

I joined tumblr waaaay back in 2011 and back then it was like three huge blogs (jamjars, anyone?) that most people followed, and it was all about ~aesthetic~ and less so fandom blogging. There was a HUGE culture for brits on here, and I was absolutely lovinggg getting caught up in what alexa chung was up to, evolving my fashion into something that no one around me really understood, and learning what music was new and hot and interesting. It was truly like a sweet form of escapism that I had literally NEVER experienced before. From there, the IT crowd of London became my idols. And of course Nick was my absolute favorite, because he just radiated cool and hope and made me wish for things I had no right to even think I could achieve. I used to do the ABSOLUTE MOST to listen to his nighttime show whenever I could. I cut out that picture (above) of Nick and taped it to my bedroom wall because I wanted to be like him one day. 

I always referred to myself as a “closeted” nick (and later 1d) blog, because I would follow and like all radio 1 content but I never reblogged any of it because I didn’t want to fuck up my aesthetic blog (still don't, and it's still around @hannikayz) SO, for literal YEARS I loved coming on here almost every day and seeing what all of you were saying about Nick, and what he has been up to, and what his friends has been up to. SO, even though I hardly ever spoke to any of the Nick blogs, altho some of you I admired from afar for YEARS and then when  you followed me it felt like Beyonce had acknowledged I exist) please know that I was always soooo happy to see all of you on here every single day. 

And then,, obviously being on tumblr, 1d became inevitable as a second love. I remember seeing a gif of the boys back then and having no clue who they were and just thinking they're right cute aren't they? From there, this whole environment just became such a fun and safe space, where fandom absolutely thrived and where I really grew up, experienced the pitfalls of being a teenager, being a young adult. I lost my dad and wiled away the silent days after that listening to nick and blindly scrolling, I ecstatically posted on that random day walking through soho and tripping over off the pavement because I had literally bumped into a drunk Jack Guinness and Bunny Kinney, I sat in my uni room and listened to nick interview louis solo for the first time, I MOVED AND LIVED RIGHT NEXT TO PRIMROSE HILL and felt like I was a part of something SO MUCH bigger than myself, and yet something so cool and so private that you only know about it if you’re one of the good ones. 

So, yes, GENUINELY THANK YOU to all of Grimmy blogs out there from 2011 and onwards who I follow and who maybe never even knew I felt like a part of your community. We have grown up for the last 10 years on here together and it truly is the end of an absolute ERA, one I will never regret being a part of, and one that makes me so so so so SO happy. 

THANK YOU to this weird little tumblr family 💕

#nick grimshaw #grimmy #nick’s last show #nick’s best bits #will add a cut if anyone wants me to #i know these can sometimes be annoying on the dash

[caitlin-snow-leopard]

I posted 828 times in 2021

67 posts created (8%)

761 posts reblogged (92%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 11.4 posts.

I added 264 tags in 2021

#caitlin snow - 47 posts

#awesome art by other people - 45 posts

#killer frost - 44 posts

#cat - 24 posts

#cats - 20 posts

#dc comics - 18 posts

#frost - 17 posts

#enchantress - 17 posts

#june moone - 17 posts

#kitties - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 108 characters

#found this old comic book panel where the flash was turning into a tree and looked surprisingly cool with it

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

and when you smile

the whole world stops and stares for a while

75 notes • Posted 2021-07-02 20:14:18 GMT

#4

you know you were bullied growing up if you find Carrie less scary and more sad and cathartic.

82 notes • Posted 2021-05-16 13:55:26 GMT

#3

So I finally figured out what DCEU!Enchantress reminds me of

SHE LOOKS LIKE A WET CAT I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS EPIPHANY SOMEONE PLEASE HELP

97 notes • Posted 2021-08-02 02:52:05 GMT

#2

If you think furries are gross and that drawing an animal standing on its hind legs or wearing an animal costume means you want to f#ck animals, here is a list of things you are no longer allowed to enjoy: -You are no longer allowed to find Playboy bunnies sexy. Clearly, if you find a woman dressed in a sexy rabbit costume appealing, you must want to fuck rabbits! -You are no longer allowed to watch Space Jam. Clearly, if you enjoy entertainment which features rabbits that walk on their hind legs, you must want to fuck rabbits! -You are no longer allowed to watch Zootopia. Clearly, if you become invested in the story of a bunny cop, you must want to fuck rabbits! -You are no longer allowed to find catgirls sexy. Clearly, if you find a woman with cat ears and a tail appealing or cute, you must want to fuck cats! -You are no longer allowed to watch The Lion King. Clearly, if you’re willing to watch a movie where two lions have a G-rated, but nonetheless obvious, sex scene on screen, you must want to fuck lions! -You are not allowed to watch The Little Mermaid! Clearly, if the idea of a mermaid falling in love with a human appeals to you in any way, you must want to fuck fish! -You are no longer allowed to watch Kung Fu Panda. If you find the idea of Jack Black voicing a panda who learns martial arts entertaining in any way, you clearly want to fuck pandas! -You are no longer allowed to read comics featuring Batman or Catwoman. If the idea of a man dressing like a bat to fight crime does not utterly repulse you, you clearly want to fuck bats. And if you find a woman in a skin-tight leather cat costume sexy, you clearly want to fuck cats. -You are not allowed to read Wonder Woman comics because one of her enemies is a human/cheetah hybrid, so you obviously want to fuck cheetahs. -You’re not allowed to watch Guardians of the Galaxy because Rocket is a talking raccoon who wears clothes, so you obviously want to fuck raccoons. -You are not allowed to read Harry Potter because it has werewolves in it, and if you like something that has werewolves in it, you obviously want to fuck wolves. -You’re not allowed to watch Shrek because watching a movie that has a talking donkey in it clearly means you want to have sex with a donkey. My point is, enjoying something doesn’t mean you want to have sex with it, and it would be utterly ridiculous to imply otherwise. Being a furry is just a damn hobby.

101 notes • Posted 2021-10-08 15:09:06 GMT

#1

RB to give Minerva a gentle head-pat.

639 notes • Posted 2021-11-08 03:19:15 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #i love that minerva was my top post #tbh she deserved it #killer frost #warrior cats #caitlin snow #cats #enchantress

[imnotwolverine]

Shared delights - scene

Author’s note: I know you Tumblr darlings sometimes just want a quick hot fix, so I’m going to offer you just that! 

Warnings: NSFW - Smut? Smut! Including a wall and some M + F masturbation. 

More? Read the full-length long fic The Englishman Jack. 

-- smut below the cut --

Two very willing skirts had passed his fingertips tonight, but neither were in his bed. Nope. It would be just him and his hand. 

Letting out a shivery sigh he let his fingers roll over the buttons of his slacks, pushing them out through their tiny holes. One.. by one. Excruciating slow, but delightfully so. With every snap they relieved more of the tension that held his aching erection in a far too small containment.

‘Hmmm.’ He hummed, rubbing a quick hand over the material of his cotton briefs, hot flesh beneath.

Much better.

First things first; after the cheeky crotch rub I had given him in the car, he needed to.. clear his mind.

Releasing his erection from the final layer of obstructions, he started on some long overdue handy work. OOPH. A good feeling. With clenching teeth he wrapped his hand around hot, throbbing flesh, finding it responding quite immediately to the milder temperature of his fingers.

‘Oh fuck that’s good.’ He whispered, imagining that it weren’t his hands but someone else’s. 

Mine? Perhaps? Ha! Who knows… I do not know EXACTLY what he was thinking. But I think I know him well enough to guess..besides, I must say he wasn’t the only one getting busy that moment, mm-mm. Oh no. He wasn’t alone. 

‘MMMmmm OH.’ Another moan drifted through the wall above his head. Who slept there again? Was it my mother, the crazy cougar? Or me, Bunny? 

No, he probably thought it wasn’t me. I was supposed to be downstairs to get a wild thrashing for my disobedience.

Grinning to himself he moaned a little louder as well, his hand losing it to his internal battle to keep up good gentlemanly appearances. The moan on the other end of the wall responded. Louder yet, purring and sensual as it teased him on.

Oh, you feisty minxes! Tugging harder on his member the bed finally shook with his release, the headboard roughing against the wall as pearls decorated his palm. ‘Oh, feisty fucking minxes!’

--

[..]

--

Closing the door behind me, the moans had become even clearer..or louder..as they reverberated through the wall on my left.

Had my mother really just lured that Jack-guy into her “study-room”? Even for my mother’s standards it was rather gutsy to go at it with Big and Dad at home. Pff! It was like everyone was losing their marbles!

‘Mmmm…’ - ‘OH YES.’ - ‘Oh AH.’

It took a few long minutes of listening to the pornographic orchestra before the pre-existing frustration and adrenaline had boiled up to an unmanageable crescendo between my legs. A bothering heat that had to be dealt with.

Settling down more comfortably on the bed I eyed the noisy wall for a moment before I slipped my fingers up my skirt, my hands trailing up higher and higher until I reached the lacy band of my underwear.

I worked a few rough circles over the damp material, imagining it to be done by someone else entirely. Oh how disappointed I was that Jack hadn’t taken my bait. How could men always be such fucking disappointments?

Mind you, I was a trapped 20-something adult who barely got any action. And so the arrival of one English stud didn’t help much with my..frustrations.

So, I got my fingers to work. The good old index finger twist got me worked up pretty good and I may have let out a moan before I could stop myself.

And then I heard it. Him.

Another voice has joined in. Another male..WOA! Turning my head to the right, to Jack’s room, I heard his clear groan run through the wall.

Then who is..? Looking back to my left a soft thumping was heard. What..? Was mom fucking one of the…the..body..guards? EH..?! OH GOD. Gross mom!

The whole idea nearly ruined it for me. But then one blue-eyed gent lured me back in, his sensual low purr working a slow shiver up my spine. Too bad there was a wall in between us. 

Oh, why won’t you do that to me for real, Jack-boy? Pretty English stranger. Why won’t you run your hands over my body like I ran them over yours? Are English folk really so stuck up?

Crawling closer to the edge of my bed - and closer to his wall - I settled on my haunches and got to work. Panties to the side, fingers crooked. I was about to show this man how it was done. Or well, let him HEAR how it was done.

You like that Jack-boy? How about a little harder, hmm? ‘MMMmmm..’ I licked my lips and let out a shivery sigh. In fact I could nearly taste him on my lips, his light musk still lingering on my fingertips and my thighs starting to shiver at the naughty thoughts that he brought me.

‘Oh fuck baby.’

His voice carried clear through the wall and it triggered me into overdrive, head falling back as I joined him in a solo-danced euphoria, my other hand quick to clasp around my mouth before everyone would hear the shrill cry that escaped my lips.

‘AAAHHHHHH–’

‘–..AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH’

Another, non-muffled scream tore through the air. 

But it hadn’t been mine. And it most definitely hadn’t been his. ..What the..?

#henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill smut #long fic #excerpt #smutty scene #shared delights

[revchainsaw]

Demon Wind (1990)

Demon Wind (1990)

Greetings and blessings upon you my flock! Welcome to the Cult of Cult. I am your pastor and priest of pop culture, ordained minister of genre films, the good reverend Chainsaw McGraw. You may just call me Reverend Chainsaw. Come and accept our sacrament upon the altar of online internet reviews. Our first holy offering is an absolute treasure, 1990′s Demon Wind. An offering ripped from the blood inked pages of the Evil Dead’s Necronomicon Ex Mortis, Demon Wind is not quite an unofficial entry into the world of Ash and the Deadites, but if you have exhausted the Catalogue of Sam Raimi Horror flicks (and let’s be honest, if you’re reading a Tumblr review of Demon Wind, you probably have), then Demon Wind will scratch that itch for sure.

The Message

Our anointed offering opens upon a boarded up farm house owned by simple country occultists George and Regina Carter. There’s a Mean Girls reference to be made here. George and Regina are defending their homestead from an unseen force (A Demon Wind some might say) through a Christian/Witchcraft combination of gospel music, a set of holy daggers, and a diary full of Regina’s spells. Unfortunately it’s not very effective, and George is possessed. George kills Regina, drops a snow globe, and for some inexplicable reason the farmhouse explodes bringing the films epilogue to a close. 

With that we are brought to the year 1990 where our rag tag group of heroes converge upon the supernaturally supercharged Carter farm with one mission in mind, helping a homie sort out his shit. What a great group of friends; I can barely get the crew together for a game night but our protagonist Cory has a group of friends so tight they are willing to drop everything and drive untold miles to nowhere in particular just because he had a bad dream. Speaking of “tight” friends, of our doomed party, no friends are so tight as Chuck and Stacey, but we’ll get to that, in short order. Let us meet the fellowship of ding dongs who will battle the blustery bogeys of Demon Wind.

Cory is the star of the show. A fairly blasé everyman who’s so caught up in his chosen one journey that he can’t even bother to be slightly interesting. He is the grandchild of the oh so fetch (see I got to it) Regina/George pairing from earlier in the film. Cory is haunted by mysterious dreams, and a tragic reunion with his demented father, which draw him to the Carter farm. There is however more to meets the eye, you see Cory is from the planet Namek. Watch the movie, you’ll catch my drift. 

Elaine is Cory's girlfriend and wants nothing more than to pull her pants down in public to bring a smile to his face. 

Dell is Cory’s friend? Bully? Enemy? it’s not entirely clear. It seems Dells role in this story is to be an unabashed asshole and chauvinist to every character that interacts with him. He is also perhaps Elaine’s brother, or someone's brother. Listen, you’d have to pay wayyyy more attention than this movie warrants to parse out all the relationship dynamics in this flick. Let’s just say, Dell is here, and despite how he acts, the other characters seem to be ok with that fact.

Terri is Dell’s girlfriend and a good friend of Elaine. Despite being on the arm of a typical 80s teen flick bad guy, Terri seems to be the most eligible bachelorette on the Carter farm. Or so it may seem, but as I’ll explain later I think there is a truer love than can be expressed that really keeps Terri from leaving Dell.

Jack is a Big Ol’ Nerd. He speaks like the writers were convinced using a thesaurus was enough to convince us that the guy is existentially unfuckable. The guy is basically just Billy from Power Rangers, but instead of piloting a badass Triceratops Zord he just kids very mildly bummed when the love of his life is transformed into a very judgmental spontaneously combusting doll.

Speaking of spontaneously combusting dolls, the victim of that very unfair end is Bonnie. Bonnie clearly had way more confidence in the love of her bookish beaux than she should have. The betrayal is immense, not that Jack couldn’t save her, but just in the fact that when she meets her demise (despite the fact that he promised he’d protect her) he is not at all distraught. Poor Bonnie, she is by far the most human feeling of the cardboard cut out female protagonists in this film and she deserved better. Let’s be honest, Jack was looking for an out, and Bonnie was just too real for this movie.

And Now, without further ado, I’d like to introduce the greatest power couple in the history of B Movie Horror Cinema: Chuck and Stacy. If you think my introduction is a bit much, I promise that the film goes much further. Demon Wind begins it’s love affair with this bromance in delightfully extravagant style. There’s magic, explosions, opera, karate, beer and bunnies and a big ol middle finger to fucking Dell. Chuck had at once been romantically involved with Terri, but things went south somehow and he claims that he still holds a flame for her. Despite this continued insistence I think it’s plain to see that Chuck found comfort, magic, and a ride or die hunk in the arms of Stacey. Stacey is a suave, sharp, smooth talking guy, whose only desire in life seems to be whatever keeps Chuck around, and that seems to mean a lot of stage magic and martial arts! I could write about Chuck and Stacey all day, so I’ll move on from here.

The cast of this film is wild and honestly even the weak ones are fun to watch. There is no character on the roster who is easy to mistake for another. That is why it is so fun to watch them meet their demise and even more fun to see them return under the possession of the demon wind as oopy goopy caricatures of their human selves. And this does go on for quite awhile. Unfortunately even Chuck and Stacey are not enough to protect the surreal landscape in which they find themselves. At one point in the film a second set of friends drop by to add 2 more bodies to the massacre. Willy and Reena, a gangly set of clothing accessories who are given legs, but hey Ear Ring and Beret, I mean Willy and Reena are still fun to see torn to shreds.

The movie ultimately reveals that the madness was sparked by the fact that a cult worshipping a Demon God named Delos had actually built the homestead and the cursed ground they stand upon is the stage for the cult leader, a preacher named Anders to finally become the host of said Demon God. As interesting as that lore may sound on paper, it’s not particularly well executed, and Cory’s role to play in all of this is even more vague. All in all the 3rd act of this film feels a bit anti-climatic even if it does feature a demon superhero fight. 

All that said I’d like to move on to the next phase of our sacred liturgy. The sacred and profane, the highs and lows of this movie.

Benediction

Best Feature: What the What?

The best feature of Demon Wind has to be how bizarre it is. It throws everything it can think of at the audience. Burning Skeletons leap from Crosses, eggs that hatch into piles of worms, EXPLODING BABY DOLLS, Cow skulls with long sticky tongues made of human intestines! They certainly sacrificed logic in order to insure they provided the audience with something they haven’t seen before.

Best Kill/ effect: A Cowmen Album Cover!

The best effect in Demon Wind is also it’s best kill. while investigating a barn on the Carter property, which is full of occult symbols, animal remains, and fun Texas Chainsaw Massacre style crafts. One of the crafts catches the eye of Beret, I mean Reena. You know by her hat that she knows a thing or to about fine art. This particular piece of barn décor is a human skeleton with a cow’s skull. As she is inspecting this “beautiful” piece, what appears to be a human intestine, flies from the mouth of the cow skull and wraps around Reena like a chameleons tongue. The intestine begins to retreat into the jaw of the skull bringing Reena’s head along with it. The skull chomps down into Reena, we get a satisfyingly bloody show, and Reena’s body winds up hanging limp from its mouth. 

Second place belongs to Bonnie, but we’ve already spoken to that bizarre spectacle.

Best Scene: I Now Pronounce you Chuck and Stacey!

Chuck and Stacey enter the scene. I know I’m inconsistent in how I spell Stacey/Stacy. This scene was mentioned above and you just have to see it. Watch until Cory intervenes.

Best Character(s): Stacey Cassidy and the Sundance Chuck

Stacey is the best character in this film, but as I’m sure he wouldn’t accept this honor alone I have to make it a tie. Chuck and Stacey are just so good. Every moment they are on screen is a treasure. The introduction of these two just received the honor of best scene, but they shine as Demons and in an even longer sequence leading to their demise. They take the watch at the Carter home and from the fog emerges a t!ddy ghost, my congregants will be familiar with this sort of creature, who attempts to lure them outside. Stacey puffs up Chucks confidence calling him “John Wayne”, Chuck proposes they go on a Tahitian vacation, but Stacey wisely wary of voodoo suggests Vegas. And there you have it, these two pure good boys are surviving this flick and they are getting married in Vegas. Unfortunately, they decide to speed things up a bit, and decide that although they are not tempted by the t!ddy ghost, that they can use their karate magic to defeat the demonic hordes. They march out into the woods, but we can add the power of love to the list of things that are no use against the Demon Wind. Our best boys meet their fates together like two old west heroes, guns blazing! Oh, oh, but they come back as demons and they eat Dell, so thank God for that. 

Worst feature: I ordered these Deadites from Wish

 The villains are not particularly interesting. It’s boring, goopy, bad mouth piece demons that have appeared in hundreds of demon flicks already by this point, and it really makes you want to go back to the unexplained paranormal happenings from earlier in the movie rather than fighting these dollar store Deadites. The fact that the film leans into this in it’s third act really makes the film feel incredibly front loaded. 

Worst scene: Cory in the House

Pretty much any scene that focuses on Cory is a bit weak. He’s just not fun. He gets to transform into an anime character in the end of the film and he’s still melodramatic and boring. This is often a problem with main characters in films, the writers don’t want them to be unlikeable or too quirky so the fun parts are always the supporting cast. 

Worst Character: Dude, you’re NOT getting a Dell!

 Don’t get me wrong, I hate Dell. But Dell is a big dumb goon who is just so fun to watch suffer and act like an utter meathead, and being hateable is not the worst thing a character can be. For this reason I have to give the worst character award to Cory; for many of the reasons I spoke about above.

Summary:

How fitting that a B movie gets a B. But that’s really a great place for this movie to be. So many big Hollywood productions don’t deserve that spot. Though Demon Wind may drag in the middle, and the characters and effects may be quite corny, it is certainly not boring. Demon Wind is eye candy even though it looks so ugly. It has some of the most loveable murder lambs in the genre and one of my favorite bromances in all of cinema, If you are a fan of Gonzo Horror then Demon Wind is a must see. If you are not all that into that sort of thing I promise you’ll have a good time. I highly recommend it. 

Overall Grade: B

#Demon Wind #1990 #90 #90s #horror #demon #fantasy #demons #paranormal #possession #deadite #possessed #monster #Chuck #Stacey #Bromance #farm #barn #cult #anders #demon god #ghost #90s horror #force #supernatural #B #Grade: B #Grade B #(B)

[misscellophane-ao3]

Complete Master list of my fics as of MARCH 2024 Pt.1

(Links to AO3, FFN, Tumblr, and (one singular story on) Wattpad)

Key -

Orange = Completed

Pink = WIP

Blue = (Technically) Ongoing

Red = Unfinished/Will never be completed

———

Spider-Man

Gen -

Try and stop me (2,219, 1/1)

This Is Lit, Sis, That’s The Tea (500, 1/1)

Parkner -

Surprise (2,216, 1/1)

The big apple (2,063, 1/1, same au as AOMPK but not a part of it, Tumblr)

Oh biscuits, it’s another field trip fic (10,400, 1/1)

Darlin’ (490, 1/1)

When Harley met Wade (1,190, 1/1)

AOMPK series (In chronological order)

Meet-Cute at Stark Industries (1,542, 1/1)

Don’t let Peter and Harley wonder off during an invasion (1,848, 1/1)

Mai meets the extended family (2,519, 6/6)

Mai has a nightmare (532, 1/1)

Don’t let Harley in the kitchen (564, 1/1)

Field trip disaster (10,474, 4/4)

Peter's a dad!? (2,371, 1/1, Tumblr) 

Kiss me if I’m wrong but dinosaurs still exist right? (1,717, 1/1)

Mother’s Day at SI Tower (1,351, 1/1)

Mama (1,367, 1/1)

A pleasant surprise (1,440, 1/1)

Movie night (1,052, 1/1)

Coffee kisses (803, 1/1)

Parents Day (2,000, 1/1)

Cold (502, 1/1, Tumblr) 

A day full of surprises (3,617, 1/1)

Meet the parents (2,534, 1/1, Tumblr)

Spideypool -

I think we’re alone now (1,032, 1/1)

Early morning confessions (1,559, 1/1)

Yuuri on ice

Victuuri -

The shopping trip (1,069, 1/1, FFN)

IT

Reddie -

Hammocks and Apples (1,054, 1/1, Tumblr)

Harry Potter

Gen (background/hinted Draco/Neville) -

When the dust settles (5,591, 4/4, discontinued)

Gen -

Fuck this shit, I’m out. (804, 1/1, FFN)

Rewind Time (1,794, 1/1, FFN)

Katekyo Hitman Reborn

Tsuna/Xanxus -

Coffee shop rumble (2,179, 1/1, FFN)

Reborn/Skull -

Cloudy with a chance of sun (814, 1/1) (FFN and the only story I have on Wattpad)

Hibari/OC -

Ryuu (1,083, 1/1, FFN)

Danny Phantom

Danny/OC -

To change the future (2,287, 1/1)

Percy Jackson

Pernico -

(Burn it Up UP) (12,384, 26/26, Chat Fic, marked as complete but I still post new chapters sometimes)

I dare you (566, 1/1, FFN)

Percy/Nico/Leo -

Don’t piss off a witch (970, 1/1)

Gen (Nico & Poseidon) -

Runaway (1,222, 1/1, Tumblr)

Detective Conan

KaiShin -

Insanity (4,064, 2/2, FFN)

Stormy nights (1,415, 1/1)

Stranger things

Gen (Billy-centric drabble) -

There’s gotta be a reason (594, 1/1)

Byler -

Backstage (10,002, 2/2, Tumblr Pt.1, Pt.2)

Death Note

Gen -

Miyu (1,317, 1/1, FFN)

A series of unfortunate events

Quiglaus -

A Different Path (7,193, 1/1)

Now you see me

Loversdeath (Danny/Jack) -

J. Daniel Atlas in: The Time Traveling Magician (3,623, 1/1, FFN)

The Umbrella Academy

Vanya Hargreeves/Sissy -

Letter to Sissy (1,558, 1/1)

The Untamed/MDZS

Wangxian -

Marry him anyway (1,423, 1/1)

Dress? Dress. (1,636, 1/1, NovelAI generated out of curiosity, will never ever use it again)

Like Bunnies (4,494, 1/1)

Baba and Baobei's Family Fun Day (3,080, 1/1)

Into the murk (G, 1,576, 1/1, Tumblr)

I heard a rumor (G, 942, 1/1)

Melancholy (G, 2,122, 1/1)

Gen -

A-Ying (Not Rated, 633, 1/1)

My Engineer the series

RamKing -

Mind your step (or you might break) (T, 4,405, 2/?)

Heartstopper

Narlie (Charlie Spring/Nick Nelson) -

When the moon hits your eye (T, 2,548, 1/1)

Crossovers

Leverage x Detective Conan

KaiShin -

Clover and Spade (1,138, 1/1, FFN)

Merlin x Harry Potter

Gen -

Harry Potter and the Dragonlord (1,471, 1/1)

Spider-Man x The Umbrella Academy

Peter Parker/Number Five -

The Boy and the Spider (1,054, 1/1)

First Kiss (936, 1/1, Tumblr)

IT x Stranger Things

Reddie -

The other one (2,273, 1/1)

Andi Mack x Shazam! (2019)

Tyrus x Billy/Freddy -

Twinning (12,177, 4/4)

Detective Conan x KHR x TUA

Gen -

Welcome to the Adults turned into kids because ‘Plot’ Club! (822, 1/1)

The Untamed x Legend of Fei

Wangxian/Wei Wuxian/Xie Yun

WangXian (2,422, 1/1)

Percy Jackson x Harry Potter

Percy Jackson/Harry Potter

Two of a kind (5,126, 1/1)

Prompt/Fic request

(Or inspired by/based on a comment or post)

Parkner -

The big apple (2,063, 1/1, set in the AOMPK au but not a part of it)

Cold (502, 1/1)

Movie night (1,052, 1/1)

Peter’s a dad!? (2,371, 1/1)

Meet the parents (2,534, 1/1)

Parents day (2,000, 1/1)

Pernico -

I dare you (566, 1/1), FFN)

Percy Jackson/Harry Potter

Two of a kind (5,126, 1/1)

Peter Parker/Five Hargreeves

First Kiss (936, 1/1, Tumblr)

WangXian -

Into the murk (G, 1,576, 1/1, Tumblr)

Tumblr Only 

IT 

Reddie -

What if we could (Song Fic) (462, 1/1)

Stranger Things x IT

Reddie -

Unfinished Scene (236, 1/1)

Gen -

Untitled drabble/fic idea (368, 1/1)

Spider-Man x Iron Man

Parkner -

Bug (326, 1/1)

Two idiots in a bathroom (582, 1/1)

Would Peter Parker date you? Quiz (484, 1/1, part of Oh biscuits, it’s another field trip fic au)

AOMPK verse -

Mai learning to drive stick shift (155, 1/1)

Parkner and Mai carve Pumpkins (504, 1/1) 

MDZS/CQL 

Gen/Wei Wuxian & A-Yuan -

Untitled One shot (544, 1/1)

Gen/WangXian -

Little Apple (Demon) (777, 1/1)

Original Work

Gen -

Hot chocolate (4,232, 1/1)

(P.S If anyone wants to continue a story or wip, message me ^^)

#my fics #masterlist of my fics #fic masterlist #cell rambles #links to both Ao3 and FFN #AND NOW TUMBLR YAY #some of these are old and I sorta regret but oh well #also if anyone wants to continue any of my oneshots or wip- hit me up #this will get updated as I write more #If any of the links don’t work please tell me #cell writes #cell continues #cell’s fanfic masterlist #think I might just delete my Wattpad #since I don’t even use it and only have one story on it…

[watchingminecraftyansim]

Post 1, Episode 1: The First Step On Our Journey

Hi, I’m Isabelle, or Spar-kie on Tumblr and Twitter, and I’ve decided to watch through all of the Minecraft Yandere Simulator Roleplay series by Samgladiator on YouTube, but you knew that already, and I feel like the first post here should serve as an introduction of sorts, not just to me, but to the important characters in the series, as well as talking about the first episode. 

First there’s me, but there’s not much to say about me, I’m a trans gal who makes poor decisions, if you wanna know more about me I have personal stuff you can follow.  As for the series, it is based loosely off of Yandere Simulator, to the point that one would think that it was just put in the title to get more views, and if I had to venture a guess the scenery was built by Grian of Wynncraft and Craftedmovie fame and more recently, Hermitcraft, as he later appears in the series as a third protagonist, along with our two main protagonists, Samgladiator and Taurtis. Sam and Taurtis are two students at an unnamed highschool In Japan, Sam wears a bunny hood in addition to his school uniform, where Taurtis wears headphones and suspenders, and his face is almost exactly :| . In these episodes Sam is the more sane out of him and Taurtis, although they are both fairly normal, with the exception of Taurtis saying “don’t worry, they’ll never catch me” when Sam says there’s reports of a serial killer on the TV. Taurtis is also the more outgoing and social of the two, with him managing to make more people like him via the amazing technique of insulting less people than Sam, and also generally being more socially competent, but we’ll talk about that in the episode summary proper. Speaking of which…

The Episode starts off with Sam and Taurtis waking up and getting ready for their first day at school, it’s implied that they’ve gone to this school before with it being their 2nd year, but they know none of their classmates or teachers, so you can pass your own judgement on that, and on their way they meet JtsTheStar, or as I will be referring to him from here on out, Jay. Jay hits it off really well with Taurtis and Sam and they walk to the convenience store near the school before school starts, here Taurtis buys himself some Mountain Dew and Doritos, a lunch of Gamers. Then Sam and Taurtis spot a GameCube (or GameCrab, if you wanna use the terminology the shopkeeper used.) and Taurtis exchanges his IPhone and Sam’s doritos for it, even though Taurtis has like 8 bags of doritos. The shopkeeper is also a crab man, this isn’t relevant to anything, I just thought it was worth mentioning. This also is where we meet another major character, KawaiiInvader, a girl, but get this crazy thing, she has a beard, and Taurtis and Sam treat this with respect and… nah I’m fucking with you, they make fun of her, some things in this series have aged like a fine milk.

After trading Sam’s lunch for a GameCube and making him get a carrot so he doesn’t starve, they finally make it to class, and we are introduced to one of the only two people who work at this school, professor Gareth who is the teacher for everything except P.E., or to put it in his words “maths to science, and why my wife left me”, and when he asks for questions after his introduction Taurtis not only asks for his wife’s name but also if she’s single, you read that right, Taurtis wants to get with Gareth’s wife, and then Gareth threatens him with detention, and then Gareth starts everyone’s favorite activity of someone has to go up and introduce themselves to the class and calls on Taurtis. Taurtis pretty much only gets to say his name and that he’s friends with Sam before they go back and forth about how Taurtis is doing a good job at his introduction. Then the bell rings and they have to go to lunch, which starts at 11 for them, which is pretty early, that’s like only an hour after McDonalds stops their breakfast menu, but this could just be the fact that my school makes me wait until one to get lunch, but enough about me. They sit with Jay at lunch and see another Jay, JtsTheDane, or JtsTheExchangeStudent, whom I will be calling Exchange Student Jay, who has a scar across his eye, leading to Sam and Taurtis to wonder how he got it, with Sam daring Taurtis to ask him how he got it. Exchange Student Jay says that he was surrounded by wolves who tried to kill him in his home country, which he proceeded to kill and skin with his teeth. Personally I feel like this, and Exchange Student Jay as a whole, is dope as hell and he should be the protagonist of the series, Sam and Taurtis find this weird and quickly run away, with Exchange Student Jay insisting that he’s a nice guy as they run away. After they rush back to where they were sitting before they notice Sookie, one of the girls, staring at them, Sam being the smoothest motherfucker in existence, confidently walks over to her, makes a weird scream noise, throws a carrot at her, and runs out of the cafeteria, still making the weird screaming noise. Smooth. Unsurprisingly this got the attention of the other students and Sookie just gave Taurtis the carrot instead, probably so he could give it back to Sam. Shortly after that it’s time for P.E., and I didn’t find a good spot to mention this but throughout the entire lunch block Professor Gareth had been spying on Taurtis rather conspicuously. 

Finally we head to P.E. with the only other staff member at this school, RowanArtifex, the stereotypical drill sergeant like gym teacher. Now before we continue, I wanna talk about the gym uniforms in this series, the boys get shorts and the girls look like they’re only wearing the shirt which goes only barely low enough to cover their no no zone, which, given the fact that these are high schoolers, is not good, and is very creepy. What’s also creepy is Rowan typing “mmmmmm” in the chat while watching the students stretch and do jumping jacks. I don’t have anything witty to say in response to that, that’s just weird. Rowan also bullies his students, specifically calling out Sam for being a wimp, and punching his students a couple of times. No wonder this school has like two teachers, they can’t afford more with all of the fucking lawsuits they must get. Rowan then has the class do an obstacle course, which Sam only manages to do once, and Taurtis isn’t able to do before the bell rings signalling the end of the school day. Now, there’s a bath in the boy’s locker room, and assumedly the girls, but we don’t see inside there.  So everyone has to share a bath in their clothes after they get done with working out, and as if to make a bad situation worse gym teacher Rowan comes into the bath with the boys. Sam says he’s gonna talk to the counselor about this and Rowan punches him for that. We also learn that Exchange Student Jay is originally from Norway, which I’m calling bullshit on as his username is JtsTheDane, Dane as in someone from Denmark, I would assume. After we get done with Gym teacher Rowan’s lawsuit building against him Exchange Student Jay asks Sam and Taurtis if they want to hunt deer with him now that school is over for the day, which they decline because they are massive wusses weirded out by this proposition and are going to play their GameCube instead and offer for him to join them in that, to which he declines. When walking home Sam overhears some of the girls talking about how weird he acted and asking Sookie if she knew him, so he tries to face away to hear what they’re saying without them seeing him, which doesn’t work when your main identifying characteristic is a bunny hood that you never take off. They recognize him and he runs home, screaming, with Taurtis in toe. When he gets home Sookie and the girls actually followed them home and sookie asks Taurtis to give Sam some carrots that she was going to give him, while some of the other girls insult him, making Sam sad and the episode ends. Normally at this point I would go on to summarize episode 2, but Episode 1 is roughly twice as long as a normal episode, combined with the fact that this is the first post and I had to add some extra stuff on top of it, making this an already very long post. So, see you next week where we take a look at episodes 2 and 3.

#samgladiator

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

my other broom is a rolls 

a deja  like a view of an oasis watchamacallit when ur parched 

a mirage t     

blame it onna teenz   -  this time last week i wuz  

it was another lifetime and next week as well im spinning sounds swirl - i gotta go sit on my rock  under my tree w my murder surrounding 

someone the nerve sitting on my rawk  - s’ok dokey as hannibal sez  before disemboweling  - naw im under my tree on some concrete  - a crow fam above hiffen sleeping and im diggin the scene w a gangsta lean - oh t stop - u in ur dining room now yah digging wars n ghettoes yo  - should i take up bass - how bout yoga 

there wuznt a rode map ever to start and  omfg they just babies and my heart breaks 

then 

here we r  -  yah we always  - hear and zen rabbit  - wuz there yah - the simpsons guy hadda bunny a yo rengi ko kind - u no like tina turner  - watta bout gandolf   -   okay t   - straight up yo homie  - if im bein real   - my kidz tawk that talk of the town  - sounds dated to me but im old as fuck  - but - no shit 

NO ONE   I MEAN     

NOBODY

ever gonna make sense o that mess o words u strung together with half finished half baked  nonsense and in jokes undastandable only by a few kids who dont do tumblr  - maybe the zen reference and the groening or watever the fuck his name  - like ur jim nabors shouted when u and vita wuz laffing - loud as fuck but ffs laffing  ( we might have been laffing about something vaguely obscene  but we adults yo )    “NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR YOU”  

at least we werent making music  - a neighbor applauded one time 

i wuz making this shit up as we went along to start with  - then things got fucked  - up - and - like a circular motion  - remember the jerk - the dance not the movie or jamaican chicken 

so iz t overdo the do  - he iz still old af and the heart thing and 

fuck if i know  -  i usually stop for a minnit at least if im suddenly overheated - happens when i dont take off a layer before playing esp if im playin srs - which - lol - u wood think a basement or a porch is carnegie hall  and if there iz an audience  - hydrate  - assess  -  the kidz specially vita pay attention  -  i have been ordered to just sit or lay quiet then have soup  - lol 

i dont know what im doin half the time  - f neil

vita singing mercy a new song  its in my bones slow cooked deep it fukken killz and its just a knock off demo  - its got a capo but i cant see it so it dont scare me  - when i can get a teen to post it for me   - 18 year olds shouldnt sing like she  - it fukken breaks my heart even as i play along loving every note  

is that fucked up    idk   

u cant overlook the lack jack - of any other hiway to ride - its got no signs or dividing lines - and very few rules to guide   - r hunter rip

aint dead yet 

playin music when we can - with ppl i love  - trynna juggle and spin without dodging hard truth  

its late af after 2 am - endless laundry awmost dun - just the current load mind u - endless is endless 

this poem is not 

its late its caturday hooray did i mention she a good one the kitty 

laterz

love

#poetry i guess

[quietlysimming]

get to know me better game

i stole this from court @bluupxels :)

rules: always post the rules. tag 11 new people you’d like to know better

tagging: i wasn’t tagged sooo i’m not tagging ppl either ddfgsd

questions below the cut.~

1. dogs or cats? CATS

2. youtube celebrities or normal celebrities? um. im kind of inclined to say youtube celebrities actually. mostly bc starkid is my fav thing rn :)

3. if you could live anywhere where would that be? seattle or new york. or a FAAAARM.

4. disney or dreamworks? disney bitch im a slut 4 disney

5. favourite childhood tv show? phineas and ferb.... total drama.... wizards of waverly place.... H20 JUST ADD WATER.....

6. the movie you’re looking forward to most in 2020? SCOOB im so hype i love scooby

7. favourite book you read in 2019? idk if this was actually 2019? p sure it was. i think it was this summer. i read a really interesting book abt matthew shepard.

8. marvel or dc? marvel

9. if you chose marvel - favourite member of the x-men? if you chose DC - favourite justice league member? i dont even know the x-men. i like huge jacked man tho :)

10. night or day? night babey

11. favourite pokémon? AAAAAH skitty is a big one. rn i like dustox a lot?

12. top 5 bands: beach bunny, girl in red, rex orange county. any band that u hear about on tikotk probably hsdfgsdf

13. top 10 books: ten?!? i can’t come up with ten on the spot fuck. i love percy jackson and the heroes of olympus. harry potter good. carrie by stephen king.

14. top 4 movies: jennifer’s body. pitch perfect. heathers. scooby doo (2002). these are the movies on my letterboxd profile jsbkdfgsdfg

15. america or europe? america

16. tumblr or twitter? tunglr

17. pro-choice or pro-life? pro-choice. this is a wack question to be in here tbh sjdkbgsdfg its all like ur fav media and suddenly Politics

18. favourite youtuber: team starkid, simplynailogical, achievment hunter, safiya nygaard

19. favourite author? rick riordan, stephen king, maureen johnson

20. tea or coffee? Coffee

21. otp? ummmmm i havent had an otp since klaine in 2014

22. do you play an instrument/sing? i did percussion in middle school nsdgdsf and i sing lots but only for myself

#tag games #about me #about suzy

[mst3kproject]

521: Santa Claus

Ever since they included a Christmas episode in the first Netflix season, I have been slowly coming to terms with the fact that this blog will not live long enough for me to do all the Christmas movies on Christmas.  Might as well get on with it. This one goes out to @casualcollectorlightme.

It’s Christmas Eve, and Santa Claus is setting off on his annual trip to take gifts to the children of the world.  He’s anticipating trouble: a demon named Pitch has been ordered to stop him.  If nobody gets any presents, then the children of Mexico won’t see any point in being good, and will turn to evil en masse!  Can Santa, with his friends Merlin the wizard and Vulcan the smith, thwart Pitch’s wicked plot and save Christmas?

My favourite thing about this movie is its weird portrayal of Santa, and for once I actually can explain why it fascinates me.  If you’ve ever seen the movie Mothra, you probably had a good laugh at the bit set in the foreign land of Rolisica, which shows us what Japanese people in the 60’s thought Americans were like (if you haven’t seen it then for heaven’s sake do so – it’s funny as hell).  Santa Claus is kind of a whole movie about that, because when it was made in 1959, Santa wasn’t really a thing in Mexico.  The film was an attempt to import him, and so we get to see our beloved Christmas traditions through the eyes of a people who aren’t very familiar with them.  

We begin with a tour of Santa’s workshop, which is not actually at the North Pole, but floating in space somewhere above it.  In American Christmas movies the toy factory would be staffed by elves, but this one goes for another short, energetic option: children from around the world, in the form of a parade of offensive stereotypes embodied by tone-deaf six-year-olds.  This is very strange, not only because they all seem to be singing in the snow rather than working, but because we find ourselves unavoidably wondering who these kids are.  Where are their parents, and how did they end up in Santa’s custody?  Are they orphans he took in, or is this some kind of mass kidnapping operation?  Do they get an education?  What happens to them when they grow up?

When you give it a moment’s thought, however, this setup actually makes more sense than elves.  What the hell are elves, after all?  Where do they come from and why do they work for Santa?  Nobody ever asks that, because it’s just part of the mythology (and when movies do try to offer answers they’re almost always weird and disappointing).  You might as well ask why the Easter Bunny is a rabbit. That’s just how it works.  If you haven’t grown up hearing about it, though, the idea that orphaned children get raised by Santa, helping to bring joy to the rest of the world… that's messed-up, but it works.

The same applies to Santa’s collection of magical surveillance equipment, which looks like something out of a Salvador Dali sugar high. American Christmas films, like the classic Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer or even Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, rarely go into how Santa sees you when you’re sleeping and knows when you’re awake.  Again, he just does.  Because Santa was something new to the Mexican film-makers, though, they felt like they had to explain it.  Their attempt tried for whimsy but took a wrong turn and ended up smack in the middle of fucking creepy.

It’s creepy in several ways, too.  I mean, the giant lips that speak in the voices of children’s wishes are an awful image, but there’s also the fact that Santa is spying on you directly.  He’s watching your dreams.  He’s listening to your whispered conversations.  He’s reading your fanfiction.  The Three Naughty Boys discuss how they don’t believe in any of this and Santa speaks to them, informing him that he knows very well what they’re planning!  Santa is Big Brother, always watching – and this is true of the ordinary concept of Santa Claus, too!  We sometimes make jokes about this but it seems harmless to us because we never delve into the details the way this movie does.

This thread of explaining things we don’t normally think need explanation runs through other areas of the movie as well.  Why does nobody ever wake up and see Santa Claus?  Why don’t our dogs bark at him?  Because he’s got a sleeping powder and a magic flower that can make him invisible. If that were as far as it went, then it wouldn’t be too strange.  I can see similar things appearing in something like a The Santa Clause sequel… except that there, they would probably have been made by the elves.  Since Santa Claus does not have mechanically (or dentally) gifted elves, it needs to provide another origin. Hence the inclusion of Merlin the Magician and Vulcan the Smith, which seems like a weird juxtaposition of mythology to us, but as far as the Mexicans know they’re all ‘American’ so they’re close enough.

Santa Claus also feels obliged to confront the awkward question of class differences.  Santa is supposed to be an egalitarian figure: he doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor, only if you’ve behaved yourself.  Poor kids should therefore get just as many presents as rich kids, which is manifestly not true in the real world.  Most American movies just pretend everybody is middle-class and ignore the issue completely.  Santa Claus tries to do something with it and the results are once again, weird.

There is, for example, the never-named Rich Boy who is tired of toys and just wants to know his parents love him.  Santa makes his wish come true by drugging Madre and Padre into heading home from their Christmas Eve out, and the question of whether he got any other gifts is never brought up.  The nearest thing the movie has to a main human character, however, is adorable little Lupita, whose father is out of work.  She wants a doll for Christmas and frankly any doll will do – she struggles with the idea of stealing a rag doll from a craft market, but puts it back, and Santa rewards her by bringing her a doll her parents could never afford.

And that’s nice, but what message does it send to all the well-behaved children in the real world whose parents can’t afford to buy them anything fancy?  That they weren’t good enough?  That they didn’t write a nice enough letter or say a nice enough prayer?  That Santa just doesn’t give a shit?  There’s a reason most Christmas movies don’t touch on this.

The specific doll Santa brings to Lupita also kind of bugs me… it’s just not a good present for a child like her.  Lupita is around five or six years old.  She needs a doll she can cuddle, play with, and carry around with her, like the one from the market.  The one she gets is as big as she is and wearing a fancy dress.  That’s not a toy, that’s a piece of décor.  It’s the doll that sits in the rocking chair in your grandmother’s living room and which you swear you can see move out of the corner of your eye. It’s not huggable, if she takes it anywhere it’ll get dirty or broken, and there’s a cynical part of me that thinks her parents probably sold it the next day so that they could buy food or pay the rent on their hovel or something.

Then there’s Santa’s adversary.  American Christmas movies pit Santa against bad weather, other supernatural entities like Jack Frost, and ordinary grouches like Phineas Prune.  In this movie, the villain is the devil.  This does, I guess, make a certain amount of sense, since Santa is dedicated to rewarding well-behaved children while Satan wants to collect the souls of the wicked, but we’re just not used to this meeting of religious and secular imagery.  Christmas is a Christian feast pinned to the ass of a much older Pagan solstice festival and it has never managed to really do away with this duality.  Most people keep the Christian and folk sides of Christmas pretty separate, but here we see them collide head-on.

Finally there’s the stuff that’s just plain terrifying.  Like the creepy laughing reindeer.  Or the rather complicated explanation of why Santa must make it home before sunrise.  When the sun comes up, the mechanical reindeer will turn to dust, leaving Santa unable to return to his palace in outer space.  What will happen then?  Why, he’ll starve to death, because Santa and his helpers subsist on sweets made from clouds and stardust, and cannot digest normal food!  Wait, the toy-making children, too?  What does happen to them when they grow up?  Can they return to Earth and start eating burgers like the rest of us, or do they remain children in Santa’s bondage forever? I told you this movie was weird.

Santa Claus is not as enjoyable in its own train-wrecky right as its Martian-Conquering cousin, but it is my favourite of the MST3K Christmas episodes. The movie itself is cheerful and the host sketches are a positive delight.  I particularly love everybody’s joy at the terrible Secret Santa presents, and their all-inclusive seasonal song that distilled tumblr to its essence decades before tumblr ever existed.  The very best part, however, is the awesome Christmas mods they did for the bots.  I love the snowglobe in Tom Servo’s head, and here I am once again helpless to articulate why it’s so damn funny. 

#mst3k #reviews #santa claus #holiday reviews #(sort of) #50s #just fuckin weird